#idk what I was smoking in the last hour when I was making this

[gio-goose]

Dude, guys, fellas, fellow sin enthusiast, i think I may have cooked too hard for my own liking. Anyways dragon install sin, amirite fellas? (Daisuke PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEA-)

Two versions cuz uhh I played with the curves n stuff like that n I like both so u get both

[canibalistic-brownie]

.

[confused-and-dickless]

Bitch next door hitting the wall aggressively every time I have a coughing fit as if it'll cure the chronic genetic lung condition. Thanks mate but I think if it were as simple as scaring the shit out of me then my doctors would have cured me 18 years ago.

I know it's a bitch to live with, I can't POSSIBLY imagine having to live NEXT to it. The horror.

[loganlermanstanaccount]

Can you write a college roommate head cannon for miguel O’Hara ( 18+ f!reader)

ik you asked for HCs but I have no self control... my bad, anon!

College Roommate!Miguel O'Hara Headcanons

(AO3 Mirror), Main Masterlist

pairing: College Roommate!Miguel O'Hara x f!reader

summary: Miguel is your roommate. And he’s hot. That’s it, that’s the tweet.

warnings: 18+ as fuuuck. F-receiving oral, using toys, masturbation, voyeurism (-ish), grinding, praise, service dom (idk?) Miguel, recreational drug use (reader and Miggy smoke a blunt). Minors DNI

a/n: I am a firm believer that modern day Miguel listens to 90s rnb, back when men were men: unabashedly, unashamedly down so fucking bad for their partners. he just gives me those vibes!!

edit: I'm writing a full fic for this! Rigor Mortis, college au fic, read here.

wc: 6k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm thinking you become roommates but he's your last choice. 

Very last minute: you have a big falling out with your now ex-boyfriend, and the plans for flatsharing next semester goes right out the window. 

So all the good places are taken, and you're going apartment-hunting, but everywhere's either too expensive, too dirty, or there's a predatory clause hidden in the lease: shitty landlords and blaring red flags in 9pt Times New Roman. 

When you stumble upon Miguel O'Hara; a student in private accomodation who, lucky you, is in need of a roommate; it feels like a godsend.

Rent is affordable and he's nice enough; refusing to grunt more than a few words to you, but is clean, organised, and from what you can tell, is barely in the apartment. 

You sign onto the lease, desperately, hoping you've just been lucky and trying not to look a gift horse in the mouth. 

You give a thousand mile stare at the blank document in front of you. A bullshit paper due in exactly 12 hours. Yes, you left it until the final stretch, and yes, it's 10k words. Very doable. You're not fucked. Nope.

You blame it on the banging from next door. Paper thin walls; obscene noises. Cries of Yes Miguel and Just like that, daddy have been plaguing you for almost an hour. His stamina must be superhuman, the way the woman in his bed has been howling. Howling may seem extreme, but she sounds like a dying cat: cock drunk and babbling over Miguel O'Hara? 

Your new roommate had been nice enough. Quiet, unassuming, and seemed more than absorbed in his schoolwork. So you didn't expect him to unashamedly fuck the girl he's been tutoring for the past week. It all clicks. The "perfect roommate" turned out to have one teeny tiny little flaw: loud, obnoxious sex, well into the early hours of the morning. 

On autopilot, you're clicking through tabs on your bed. Perhaps you're a prude, but the sex noises are abrasive, excessive, to the point of parody. Persistent, Miguel's low voice reverberates in the walls of your bedroom; making heat pool at the base of your stomach. 

"You want it, hermosa? Tell me…. such a pretty girl… like that?" It's muffled, but his voice is unmistakable. Low, greedy, heavy with want. God, the last time someone's spoken to you like that was… 

You shake your head free of cobwebs. No. You're not rewarding him. You can't . Your roommate is shameless, and inconsiderate, and really fucking annoying . 

The smacking noises increase, coupled with banging on his side of the wall. Resolute, your face hardens. From where you perch on your bed, you slam the wall with the side of your fist. 

"O'Hara! Keep it the fuck down!" 

~~~

He's a biochem major, up to his ass in assignments and he still has time for societies, internships and tutoring. 

The only times he'd be in the apartment really was an impromptu session, and you didn't notice at first, but it became more obvious as the semester went on.

As a so-called tutor, he only seemed to pick the prettiest girls - they would twirl their hair on your kitchen counter and bat their pretty lashes at him when they didn't understand. Favours for a couple of friends, is his only response when you ask. 

It felt like you'd open the door to a new girl every week and you are baffled. Donned in makeup and short skirts, they'd waddle in asking for Miggy, or drop off half-finished assignments whilst craning their head through, trying to catch a glimpse of him. 

The absurdity would make you laugh if it wasn't affecting your sleep. 

Not that he's not absolutely gorgeous, but he's so quiet you would never have thought he had it in him: to have a revolving door of women lining up to lay underneath him. 

This time, her name is Sarah: pretty little thing in Miguel's Advanced Math class.  She perches on a stool, wearing a tight dress that is wholly not appropriate for a tutoring session. She's one of his regulars, if you can call it that, and has been failing for at least 2 semesters. You flash her a smile as you pad through the kitchen, searching the cupboards for a snack. God, she is gorgeous; dolled up for another long session with Miguel, no doubt.

"Where's he gone?" She asks politely. 

You shrug. "I couldn't tell you, sorry."

"It's okay… I'm just a bit stuck." You almost snort and catch yourself. For some reason, you didn't think they actually did any work, merely a pretense for the… cardio later on in the day. 

You glance at her sheet of paper, scribbles in purple pen with large swathes crossed out. Leaning over, you scan the page.

"Right here." You point and she follows with a manicured finger. "You fucked up with this integral and I think… yeah, I think that messes with the whole thing."

Her eyes light up as she follows you, explaining with a piece of cookie hanging out of your mouth. She's definitely smart, just a few little mistakes here and there that you're happy to point out. Thanking you fervently, she rushes to correct it. 

"Ah, it's no problem. I get mixed up with it too." You smile and notice Miguel by the doorway, watching with a strange look in his face. You roll your eyes as you walk past. What a fucking weirdo. 

"Thought I was the tutor?" He croons.

You raise an eyebrow, voice low as Sarah is engrossed in her work. "...I don't want to fuck her, Miggy , if that's what you're worried about."

A little cruelly you push past him, shoulders clashing against one another. Is he smiling ? For now, you blame your perpetual tiredness when you think you catch the hint of a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. 

~~~

You're a light sleeper, and it all makes for a tired, delirious combo. You sleepwalk through the day, scramble to finish assignments and whilst it's not all O'Hara's fault, you can't help but blame him for a lot of it. 

After you successfully get through one long week, you decide to celebrate. That means a couple hours of mindless hedonism: your favourite movie, greasy food…. and your trusty dildo. Not at the same time, of course. 

Miguel's not home, and he's not tearing down the walls with some other girl, for once, so you decide to treat yourself. 

You've been going through a dry patch, and you'd hate to admit it, but he does sound good through the thin drywall. 

It was a joke gift; given to you by a friend for your birthday. An obnoxiously purple dildo with a suction cup at its base. Aptly named Hugh, due to its - ahem - large stature. Standing tall at 7 or 8 inches, far bigger or thicker than any partner you've taken in the past. Sitting around a small diner booth with your friends and opening the bag to reveal him, had been quite the experience, for sure. 

It wasn't your fault you had gone through a dry spell in the past few months. With work, with school, with relationship issues, you hadn't had the time or energy to sleep around. Not that you were desperate for drunk, lackluster sex, followed by an awkward dance of ubers and shitty coffee in the morning. Like many, you preferred to do it yourself. 

Laptop open, you ease yourself onto the toy, already slick with lube. Prepping yourself with your fingers had been quite the task, tabs open to something on a lewd website. It's cheesy, but you didn't really like the bright lights and plastic of usual porn. The moans felt too fake, the sex devoid of any real passion. So you found a couple of independent creators; couples, mostly; carnal fucking with fervour only borne from real love . It's embarrassing to admit it, but your favourite parts are the little kisses and touches in between, or light laughter after a rough session. As if to say: it's okay and I'm still here. 

On your screen now is a longtime favourite video, a broad man bullying his fat cock into his partner. You can't help but think he looks like Miguel, not as pretty but tan with strapping shoulders, and large hands that wrap around the neck of the girl in the video. 

" F-Fuck," You breathe, sinking down onto your toy. You bet Miguel's palm on your throat would be deliciously rough, and you imagine how he'd fuck the brat out of you like the man on your screen. 

What hadn't occurred to you, however, was that the thin walls went both ways. Whilst you were quieter than many of the girls Miguel brought home, you were fairly shameless with the moans and curses that fell from your lips. Headphones on, you were blissfully unaware that Miguel had slipped into the apartment some time ago. The slap of your thighs to the floor, the desperate whine as you roll your hips over the toy - he can hear it all. 

Miguel has a conscience, so he does feel some amount of shame when he slips a hand down his trousers and presses an ear to your shared wall. He closes his eyes and bites down lusty groans, fisting his cock to your pretty noises. Noises he's been wanting to hear from you for months, now, imagining it was you underneath him instead of his usual partners. 

He times it just right, squeezing around his tip in time with the steady slap just beyond the wall. Are you fucking yourself? On your knees, hands flat on the floor, churning up your insides with a toy… or maybe ass up, dildo attached to something…? He almost cums with that mental image, wondering what you'd look like on your knees for him. Is the dildo as big as him? He knows you, knows you'd want it to hurt - for his cock to stretch out your pretty pussy when he cums deep inside you. 

All things he thinks about with a hand around his cock, and he's already close. But he wants to cum with you, listening intently for the signs. 

" Fuck," Your voice comes out muffled, but it makes him buck up into his fist all the same. " Need it… oh God, I-" 

He speeds up, wondering what it would be like to have your thighs shake underneath him, what it would take to have you babbling and begging for more. How would he break you? Maybe on his cock, where he'd watch you squirm as you take his length. Or on your knees, choking around him and licking up his cum. Or, God, thighs wrapped around his head, riding out your high with his mouth sealed on your clit, crying for him slow down, for him to-

" H-Harder, Miguel, please." 

He releases, sudden and intense, spilling white ropes into his boxers. 

" Fuck, Miguel…"

He fucks his fist through it, overstimulated from the way you say his name. It feels like the only way it should be said; spilling from your mouth, haphazard and desperate. Like honey, like treacle; sweet things he didn't know he had the capacity for. He lets that feeling wash over him, panting, bringing his forehead to rest on cool wall. 

~~~

He's hot. He's smart. He's a whore.

A total blindspot for you, and no matter how much you can't stand him; you still find yourself stealing glances whenever he's home. 

And he does seem to be home a lot more, often choosing to study on the dining table rather than his room. It's like he does it on purpose, using the warmer weather as an excuse to wear tiny tank tops and loose gray sweats - showing off the muscles of his broad back and arms perfectly.

Funnily enough, when he's not around those girls, he's bearable - seems to have grown a couple of brain cells in those short few days between sessions. 

You laugh and joke, sometimes, and he surprises you by suggesting a movie one quiet night. 

He offers you his sweater to snuggle into, you eat your weight in greasy takeout, and your roommate seems like an actually decent guy?? 

You had fallen into an easy routine: O'Hara leaves a flask of coffee for you to snatch up in the morning, hair damp from the shower and all, and you meet him with netflix and instant noodles in the evening. A push and pull that works in the little space - much smoother than your rocky beginnings.

After a truly shitty day, you come home to a quiet apartment. Almost sleeping through an exam, forgetting lunch, missing the bus home, and having to trek back through pouring rain in a thin coat. Everything that could go wrong, did, and you are left with the pieces. You trudge through the living room into the kitchen, the wet squelch of socks on laminate floor haunting every step. Shedding your limp outerwear, you lay the contents of your backpack onto the kitchen counter: clumps of loose paper, the damp leftovers of a textbook, bleeding ink. Your main concern, however, is your laptop slick with rain water. 

With baited breath, you put it on the slab, and press the power button. A click, a stuttering whir, and the screen flickers on. Then, just as strained, it putters off. Dead. Completely dead. Your legs almost give out, and you lean on the counter to steady yourself. Half of your life was there; including the final project that would make up a good chunk of your grade. It takes you everything not to collapse onto the floor right then and there. 

"How was it?" You hear the click of a door and Miguel calls out from the hallway. 

You wince."...F-Fine?" 

You hear footsteps, as he gets closer. "Are you asking or telling me?" 

You clear your throat, desperately trying to keep your voice steady. "Fine. It was fine. I'm just… it was fine."

Back still turned, you fumble around with the wet contents of your bag, hoping he doesn't notice. 

"Long day?" He says warmly, head poking into the kitchen. Haphazardly, you spare him a glance from behind your shoulder. He's dressed in a sweater that fits snug around his chest, rolled up to expose his forearms, and loose sweats. In his hands, he drinks from a cheesy mug - your mug, donning a stupid pun. He looks warm. Cosy. Domestic. For some, reason it makes your heart sink even further. 

Long day? "Something like that." You manage to squeeze out. There's a pregnant pause as he comes closer. Rummaging blindly through a cupboard, you try to hide behind its door. If he sees you like this, now, you don't know if you'll be able to hold it together. 

You close the door, and all of a sudden he's there, mug in hand. 

" Fuck, man- " It makes you jump, as he squints and takes a sip of his coffee. 

"You look… wet." 

"That's because it rained, Miguel." Snapping at him, your tone is biting. You're tired, stressed and in desperate need of a cry, but he is unrelenting in his gaze. 

"Are you ok?" He asks, unfazed. 

There's a lump in your throat and all you can do is nod with a tight expression.  His eyes flicker towards the counter and you shuffle, trying to cover up the mess. And then you watch it happen; initial confusion, a flash of realisation, and then worry; all in the space of a couple seconds. 

Gently, he pulls you aside to inspect the damage. "Mierda. This is pretty bad. You sure you're ok?" 

He's got a hand on your arm now,  The dam breaks and you crumple into tears in the kitchen floor. Of course, he comes with you, rubbing your back as you blubber through the details. 

" Nothing's going right for me… and I've got my final project on there… I'm barely keeping up as it is…" All he does is nod, face tight with something you can't quite name. It must seem pathetic to him, you think, shamelessly crying on the kitchen floor, complaining to your poor roommate. He can't leave you like this, because he's a decent person - but internally, he must think you're going crazy. 

It helps, having him there: a steady presence by your side. Slowly but surely, your tears subside. 

"You could've asked me to pick you up." He hands you some tissues off the counter, and watches as you mop up the tears. "I would've come, if you called."

"I didn't… I didn't think we were…" You search for the right word. 

"...friends?" He offers, with a small smile. "You think I let just anyone steal my sweaters?" 

"First of all," It makes you laugh, despite yourself. "You offered. And second, I've seen what you do with your friends, and I don't know if I have the energy for it."

"Ouch." Bashful, he rubs his chest like it aches. He sits a little close to you, knocking your shoulders with his own. "I know this girl who's crazy good with computers. I could ask her to take a look, if you'd like? Might not be able to save it but maybe we could recover the files?"

"...I'd like that, to be honest."

"Muy bien ." He leaps to his feet, palm stretched towards you to help you up. "I'll run you a warm bath or something. You're creating a puddle and it's going to ruin my floor."

"Our floor, asshole. I pay rent here, too." 

~~~

You find that you enjoy being around him, and he feels the same. 

You can't help but compare him to your shitty ex who you were planning to move in with: and even with his quirks, Miguel is better in every way. 

There is harmony in your household, for a while, and you almost look forward to coming home to him after class. Almost. 

It doesn't last long, because of course it doesn't. You'd thought you'd come to a tentative ceasefire, able to casually rib and joke with each other - takeout and B-roll movies aside. He leaves you leftovers from food he makes, you turn down your music when he's studying, and he even woke you up the other day when you had slept through your alarm.

Beyond the wall, his music is loud: a playlist you recognise as the one he puts on to (unsuccessfully) mask the noise of his usual late night adventures. Cheesy love ballads, heady RnB that leaks into your own room. You'd rather die than admit his taste in music isn't horrible, but it usually means a long, long night for everyone around. With finals around the corner, there's no way you can let this stand. 

What kind of person does that? Lull you into a false sense of security with Snakes on a Plane and pepperoni pizza? 

Absorbed in your own work, you hadn't even realised he had someone over; let alone was gearing up for obnoxious sex. You'd bang on the wall, but you feel like you guys are past that: crossed a threshold of intimacy that means you can shout at him up close and personal. 

So you stomp over to the hallway, banging at the door to his room. In the short trip there, you've worked yourself into a frenzy. How many times have you told him to keep it down? That it was rude and inconsiderate to flaunt his sex life in your face; to fuck other women so loud you were practically involved? There was something about the little smile he would give you afterwards, when you catch him shepherding his latest out the door in the morning - like he gets off on it, enjoys it, when you react. Even when you think you're over it, he still manages to drive you absolutely crazy. 

“Miguel? Open the fuck up!"

You're still fuming when the door opens with a click, and Miguel appears in the sliver of the doorway. He opens it so that his frame is half swallowed by the door, top half peeking through with a lazy hand in his hair. And of his top half, he's bare from the waist up, black band of his boxers sitting low on his v-line and loose sweats. 

All the wind is knocked from your sails, and you lose your train of thought. 

"Yeah?" 

"I…" You clear your throat. "I don't care who you fuck, but when I'm doing work-" 

"-I'm not." He chuckles. "There's no one here, hermosa. Just me. And you, I guess…"

There's something about the way he says it, lazily, as if it's his first time saying those words - wrapping his tongue around your name to see how it fits. If it fits, how it tastes. His relaxed posture, the way his hair falls…

"You're high." Your brow shoots up. "... you're high!" 

With a finger pressed to his lips, he grabs your hand and pulls you into his room, eyes darting around the hallway. 

"Shhh! You can't-" Now, he gets close, whispering like he's saying something he shouldn't. "You can't tell anyone. "

"I won't." You breathe. His face is serious at first, and then you're both giggling. You've never seen him so carefree, and it's nice to see Miguel walking around without the weight of the world on his shoulders.

He's still holding your hand, pressed close, and you see him drag his eyes up and down your figure. "You want do something you'll regret…?"

"...I've got a 9am, tomorrow, I really-" 

"-shouldn't?" He finishes, dragging his hand up your bare arm, pupils blown. He gets up to your shoulders, tucking your hair behind your ear. It's sinful, the way his touch is gentle but gaze heavy - violent in the way he practically eyefucks you. You feel bare, in little sleep shorts and a t-shirt.

He steps back, lounging on his bed, and makes for a half finished blunt by the adjacent window sill. Sighing, you sit by him, sinking into the mattress. He pats you closer, dangerously close, and you comply. One arm curled by your waist, the other brings the blunt up close and you wrap your lips around it. When Miguel brings a lighter to the blunt, you lean into it, knuckles brushing your lips. 

You take a drag, long, heavy, eyes closed. And when they open, you're met with his own. Maybe it's the weed, maybe it's the heady atmosphere, but you swear his eyes are low and deep with lust.

"Good girl." He rumbles, cupping your chin and tracing a thumb to your lips. He separates, bringin the blunt to his own lips before leaning back to pass it to you. As quick as he gets close, he pulls away; leaning back into the expanse of his large bed. And he looks good, head drawn back and the curve of his tan arm drawn upwards. Tufts of hair from his chest, the trail that leads down suggestively - and without inhibition, you basically drool over him. God, there it is. You feel it kick in and let it wash over you. 

His music, long forgotten, blends into your downy haze. You want to sit in his lap, rest your head on his chest. You get it now: if this is the view all those women he tutors get to have, then you finally understand. 

"Come closer, hermosa ." You barely register the nickname, only focused on the way he says it, the delicious way it rolls off of his tongue. You nod, and shuffle closer. His siren song sounds sweeter, somehow, up close. 

You pass the blunt between you both, and watch it dwindle to the last dregs. Lying down next to him, he clutches your hand and takes the butt between his fingers, letting its flames die as you watch. You giggle and his gaze softens.

"I didn't expect this from you." You look up to see an upside-down Miguel, hiding a smile. 

"Expect what?" He drags himself downwards, to rest his head by your side. 

"All…" You gesture vaguely. "This. Don't even think I've been in your room for this long, before."

His room looks exactly how you'd expect it: tidy and modest, a row of trophies neatly lined up on a shelf, a telescope pointing out towards a window. There are posters by his bed; science related, mostly. You tilt your head in the direction of one of them.

"Is this what they see?" You mumble to no one in particular. 

He manages to catch it, sluggish in his response. "...Is this what who sees?" 

"All the girls you fuck." It tumbles your of your mouth, before you can help it. 

He tilts his head too, looking at the poster and you watch the sharp lines of his jaw besides you. Even at this angle, he's so pretty. 

"Huh. I guess they do." 

"It's not very romantic, is it?" You blink, oblivious. Your question is met with a noncommittal shrug. "What was her name last time? Cassie, Clara-something…"

"Katie." He hums. 

"Katie." Ignoring the twinge of disappointment at his quick response, you hope it's the weed and not jealousy that made you pretend to forget her name. 

You sit up on your haunches, tracing the valleys and mountains of his bare chest with a leisurely finger. You try not to notice the way he shivers at your touch. 

"I could hear everything. Every, 'Yes daddy'," You feign a moan by curling your lips into an O-shape. You bring your other hand to your hair, head tilted back with exaggerated movement. "And 'right there, Miggy, right fuckin' there' ." 

Technically, you're making fun of him and laughing, expecting him to follow. But he doesn't, head back and eyes boring into you - only bringing a hand to press yours at his chest. 

"Thin walls, Miguel." You clear your throat, sensing a shift in the atmosphere. Too far, probably. "Sorry, shit. I didn't mean-" 

"I hear you too." He says softly. "I heard you, the other day."

Head filled with cotton, it takes a moment for his words to really click. So he elaborates, lacing his fingers with your own. 

"Fucking yourself, hermosa ." He says it lazily, like the vulgarity of the act doesn't register.

Your eyes widen in horror. How much exactly did he hear?

"...and I heard you say my name." 

"It was…. i-it wasn't like that-" Fuck. You can't think straight as it is: and his voice is low and silky, rubbing circles on your hand close to his chest. Even now, he oozes confidence, the steady thump-thump of his heart giving away nothing. 

"Hmmm? Then what is it like?" You blink at him, unable to answer. "You're a hypocrite. You complain about all these women I supposedly fuck, but then-" 

He pulls you closer, so that your lips almost touch his. "-you lock yourself in your room, touching yourself and thinking about your poor roommate. What am I meant to do with you?"

A pause, and in your daze, you can't breathe. For all your theatrics, it's too easy for him - to prod and tease, and for you to chase after him. You move to kiss him, but he grabs your chin at the last second. "Not quite. I want to hear you say it."

"Fuck- " You crumple, hiding your head in the crook of his shoulder. Even in your haze, the nerves bubble up from the base of your stomach. "Fuck me, please , Miguel."

He places a hand on your thigh, leading you to straddle his middle, other hand wrapped around your waist. He grinds your lower half into his, leaning up to bring your lips together. 

He tastes sweet, greedily lapping up your moans in the clash. You're not thinking, not really, lost in the heat of his body, desperate and eager when you kiss. To contrast, Miguel cups your chin, pulling you away for air whenever you sink too deep. Somehow, he still manages to look smug, taunting you with a flash of his little fangs whenever you separate. If you weren't feeling the effects of that blunt, you may have had the means to be embarrassed at how much you want him - needily grinding against him and pawing at his chest. 

It's too slow, too leisurely, like a punishment; and he refuses to give you what he knows you want. Your whines betray you when he finally slips a hand down your shorts. 

"¿Paciencia, hmm?" He grabs a handful of your ass, clothed cock catching on your clit. It rips another moan from you, which he happily swallows with another kiss. "Patience, princesa."

You hump against one another like teenagers, your hands planted by his head for purchase. Hips moving of their own accord, you chase the relief Miguel provides: with his hands kneading your ass, length catching at your clit, and teeth nipping at your bare neck. 

He licks a stripe up your collarbone, soothing the blossoming hickeys with a hum. 

Fuck, how can he be so casual ? You don't know if it's the weed or something else, but he is in his element, hand dipping down your back to graze at your pussy from behind. He hisses when he realises how wet you are, swiping his fingers down your slit and taking them out to pop them in his mouth. 

Now, flushed and face hot with embarrassment, you look up at him with big doe eyes. It makes Miguel feel guilty for stopping you so close to your climax. Beautiful : lower lip hooked under your teeth, plump and swollen and kissable. He'll make up for it later: a promise he whispers into skin. 

"You're soaked." He cups your cheek to press a kiss to your forehead, and all you can do is whine. His gaze dips down, to the swell of your tits in that thin shirt.. 

"What did you think about when you touched yourself?" It's soft, said in the warm press of your bodies; hook-shaped and hazy and you fit like you were made for one another. The thought lingers, plants a dangerous seed that makes you forget that the man underneath you is your roommate : unrepentant whore, Miguel O'Hara. 

"You." You've seen it first hand, he eats hearts for breakfast; and yours is on a platter for him to devour.

He laughs, deep and rumbling, hands resting on your waist. "I know that, baby. You don't have fantasies? Fuck yourself to the thought of someone touchin' you just right?"

Not just someone, him, you think. Your voice dies in your throat at the way he looks at you. "Just… n-nothing really-"

He hums, grinding your hips onto his. "Speechless, I can't believe it. Is this what I need to do to get some fucking peace around here?" 

You roll your eyes, "Don't be a dick, Miguel. When I shout, it's because you deserve it."

"...there it is." Eyes shining, his face stretches into a shit-eating grin. Wide, unabashed, unambiguous. "You back with the living, sweetheart?" 

It makes you laugh, even though you hate to give him the satisfaction. 

"What do you want?" He kneads your thigh and pleasure pools at the base of your stomach. 

You mumble something begrudgingly.

"Hmm? Can't hear you, baby."

Louder, now. "...want to sit on your face, Miguel." 

Lowly, he groans, shaking his head. "Mierda… of course you do."

Expertly, he helps you take your shorts off, dragging the thin material down your thighs. You clambers upwards, wrapping them around his shoulders, watching intently as he kneads the soft skin. It's tentative, at first, and you place your hands on the headboard to perch just above his mouth. 

He licks, diving in with the flat of his tongue: a long upwards stroke that ends with him sucking your clit. Moaning, your hips jump and he chases your pretty pussy up, large palms pushing you back down. He concentrates on your bundle of nerves, lips around your clit like a man on a mission.

And, God, does it feel good; he watches and learns from your every movement, committing your body to memory. His moans vibrate deliciously, tension building at that spot faster than your mind can register it. Then, you clench around nothing, gushing into his mouth whilst he eases you through it. The noises he makes are obscene; one leg off the bed and a hand snaked under his boxers. He's getting off on it; watching you crumple and sob around his tongue. 

And when you begin to move off, thighs sore, he doesn't relent, sealing his mouth on your pretty little hole. 

"Miguel.. fuck-" After your first orgasm, it surprises you when he continues, tongue fucking you with fervour. He presses you close, impossibly close, and your body fights against his ministrations. Heat, everywhere, and it's too much. The haze of the blunt begins to wear off and you are left with biting clarity. You want more of him, deeper; drunk off of just his tongue. 

You card your hands in his hair, and he moans: deep and wanton, with his eyes fluttering shut. He wants to look, to watch you when you cum on his tongue for a second time. Back arched, the curve of your tits peeking through a tiny top, fucking yourself on his face. He wants it hard , wants you to take control and use him to get off. 

"Right there, fuck… "

Like you can hear his thoughts, you press yourself down harder, riding the deep ridge of his nose for relief. Miguel complies and leans into it. He eats you out like a man starved and the carnality of it all brings you to a second peak. You cum once again, legs wrapped tight around his face. Head back, he laps it up readily. 

You separate with a wet pop, and Miguel looks blissful : fucked out and panting, wiping the slick off of his face with a forearm. Exhausted, you lean back onto the mattress beside him. 

"That was…" He searches for the right word, and it's your turn to finish for him. 

"... good. " Scarily good. So good you won't be able to see him around the apartment without remembering what he looks like trapped between your thighs. 

Gently, he turns to cup your cheek and bring your lips to his. It starts off sweet and deepens rapidly, making that thread at the pit of your stomach tighten, again. He grabs your thigh, bringing it closer, and you feel his length poking your stomach. Fuck. 

"You haven't…?" Your hand makes for his trousers, and he stops you. "I want to, Miguel. Want you to feel good too."

His head sinks into your shoulder. "I know, baby, I know. Not like this. Not yet."

You nod, still wrapped up in his arms. You haven't even fucked, and it feels more intimate than it should. 

"You've got a 9am tomorrow." He smiles with a hand underneath his head. 

"I've got a 9am tomorrow," You repeat, sighing. "...and my life is falling apart. I'm failing half of my classes as it is."

He turns to you, lazily. 

"I could tutor you, if you'd like."

…

"That's not fucking funny, Miguel."

_

_

Miguel taglist: @d1lf-loverrr, @afro-hispwriter @ilovemiguelohara @weedxgirlx420 @ladydovahkiin180 @aaliyuh3 @sweetanimebakery @vvitcxen @rosecoloredlenses708 @daikondal @magikmina @impettywhenyouare @alonelygirlsuicidenote @plushyplants @javi0ca @rheeves @starrfruit @nikirikii @marsbars09 @foxglove-grove @mimooyi @crosshairclown @dead-by-light @kynamitedessert @naarra @wanderlustingcastaway @sagejin @cookielovesbook-akie @tangerineloverrr @gobblegluckgluckgod @wolfiepirate @jxxey3 @ebrysteria @elliemm @manchuria @youngghostpeachslime @weasleybuns @ilovemuppets @vauriz @bonbyon @aimno256 @ancientbeing10 @tvije @venus1224idkpleaze @neteyamsbulletwound @chickenjefferson-blog @maki-z @jasjasthings

_

edit: the full fic xx

[milo-is-rambling]

I think I’m in between food hyperfixations and it’s spooking me

[luveline]

Hi Jade ! I loove your sunshine!readers, could I request one for Carmy ? Maybe someone calls her to get to the restaurant when hes feeling anxious to calm him down idk if thats good lol love ya !

ty for requesting <3 fem, 1.4k

Is it The Beef or The Bear? In your head, despite the wishes of everyone who works there (except for Ebra, who seems to have mixed opinions), you always call it The Beef. But the sign brags otherwise, and when you push open the doors, nothing inside is left to remind you of the old restaurant. It was a total gut. 

“Hi, gorgeous,” says a familiar, warm voice. 

You almost walk straight into her table, distracted looking for brown curls through the kitchen door’s little window. “Hey, Tina.” You grin at your second favourite chef. Your most favourite Sous. “You taking a break?” 

She offers you a round butter cookie from a sleeve of them. Her cup of coffee billows with steam. “Uh-huh.” 

“Hiding from a meltdown?” you ask, taking a cookie, fingers oily with butter, sugar grains falling to the floor. 

“It’s not like that,” she says. 

Well, what is it like? you think. 

Richie’s text wasn’t exactly descriptive. Need ur help with the little Bitch, he’d said. Then, when you didn’t answer, ASAP!!!!

You figured it must’ve been another rant. He’s prone to these… episodes of anger where he doesn’t realise he’s spinning out and hurting people who really care about him. You try to bring him out of it, but he’s a Berzatto. They’re all the same, sort of. Everything that’s wrong with them has been stamped into them a long, long time ago. 

He’s been better since Nat steel armed him into AA, but still. You tilt your head to one side, sugar cookie between your fingers, listening for the goings on in the kitchen. “Sydney’s here?” you ask. “I thought she was sick.” 

“Sydney gets sick, but she doesn’t take sick days,” Tina says with a loving shrug. 

You smile at her in brief goodbye for now and make your way to the kitchen, where you push in quietly. All their ‘Behind!’ and ‘Corner!’ and ‘Hands!’ makes you laugh, and you can’t take it seriously so you don’t, but you’re not trying to be dangerous in there either. 

“Hello?” you ask. 

Sydney and Richie look up from a cramped notebook at the table nearest to the door. There are employees you're unsure of prepping vegetables along the wall, but Carmy isn’t anywhere to be seen. 

“Fucking finally,” Richie says, before rubbing his face regretfully. “I’m sorry, it’s just– I texted you an hour ago, babe, you’re letting me down.” 

You laugh. “Sorry, babe,” you tease. “I have a job, just like you.” Your hands are cold where you tuck them under each armpit, crossing your arms. “Hi, Sydney. You feeling okay?” 

“No. He’s stressing me out.” 

“Which one?” 

“Both of them.” She looks like she might rub her face too. “I need him to be in here right now, he should be doing this, but he keeps walking away and– and not saying where he’s going.” 

“He is stressful,” you agree, though usually Carmy’s stress tends to bounce right off of you, “I’m gonna find him and strap him down for you.” 

Sydney just frowns. 

“I’ll see what’s up,” you say more seriously. “In the office?” 

“Out the back,” Richie says. “Smoking like his mother. He’s a fucking steam train lately.” 

It’s like they want to worry you. You give them grateful nods, sorry nods, and start to make your way out of the main kitchen, past the dishwashers and the dessert station to one of the back doors. Carmy isn’t your responsibility. You don’t have to apologise for him, you don’t have to mother him, he should commit to his responsibilities all on his own, but… it’s hard. You like apologising for him because his behaviour isn’t always on purpose, and he struggles with commitment for similar reasons. There’s this aching, stagnated grief in him that’s reawakening, there’s the stress of the restaurant, his business, the scars of the last ten years, and before that. You know it isn’t your job to come here and make him feel better, but isn’t it? When you love someone, it’s half the deal. 

Carmy shouldn’t yell at his friends, or employees. He shouldn’t chain smoke, and he shouldn’t be sitting on the low wall by the dumpsters shaking so hard with his head so low that you can see the first notch of his spine in his shirt. 

“Carmy?” you ask. 

His head ducks further down. You can hear him breathing, not too hard as to alarm you, and yet unrelaxed. 

You smile without thinking. You hate seeing him like this, but looking after him is a pleasure. “Hey, Carmen. Can I sit with you?” 

He forces his face up. “What are you doing here?” he asks. 

Trying to make sure he doesn’t tear another chunk out of Richie. “It’s my lunch break.” 

You perch on the wall beside him and snap your nearly forgotten cookie into two pieces, one side bigger than the other, which you offer him. 

Carmy takes it. Looks at it without expression, though that slowly turns to a dry ire you’ve felt directed your way a hundred times. “What the fuck is this?” 

“Cookie.” 

“I don’t want this.” 

“Could you just eat it?” You put your own half in your mouth in its entirety, all aligned to your teeth. It shatters into sweet, soft crumbs between your teeth. You talk with a hand over your mouth, “It’s not gonna kill you.” 

Carmy looks at it for a long time before he eats it. 

You watch him. He’s more tan than you’d think, that Italian gene kicking in, skin clinging to whatever sunshine it finds. He spends enough time inside that you’re surprised it can muster the energy. He looks better with it though, his curls look gold toned under the sun, and his clenched jaw doesn’t seem so harsh. 

“What’s wrong?” you ask eventually. Almost conversationally. 

“Nothing.” His hand shakes on his thigh. He turns his palm down to clasp his knee. 

“You sure?” 

“No.” 

“That one’s my favourite.” 

“What?” 

You poke toward a tattoo on his hand. It’s a simple flower, same style as most of his tattoos. “I like it ‘cos it’s just a flower.” 

“My least pretentious,” he guesses. 

“Something like that.” 

He tips his head back. 

“Richie texted me. He thinks I’m gonna… like, I’m gonna calm you down, I guess.” 

“You always do,” he says. 

You give him a long, smiley look. “So you’re in love with me?” you ask warmly, pushing up into a knee to wrap your arm behind him, hugging him before he can move away. “You’re totally fucked for me, Berzatto, that’s fucking crazy.” 

“Fuck off,” he laughs. 

You rub his arm, his skin hot in your hold. He touches your waist very, very lightly. “What am I supposed to do, anyway? I can’t cook. You and Syd are on your own.” 

“You already… already did enough.” He grabs your waist where you wobble on the brick wall, grit biting your knees, his hand comparatively soft. 

“Such a crush on me,” you tease in a whisper, his hair crushed under your cheek. 

You’re tempted to kiss his temple, but affection with Carmy is like oil and water sometimes. You give him a last protective squeeze and sit yourself down again. 

“Carm,” you say, “you know you can call me, right? Like, if you don’t feel okay.” 

“Yeah. Yeah, I know.” 

“Or text me. If that’s easier. It’s hard to say hard things out loud.” 

He laughs again. “Sorry.” 

“I know, I don’t– I don’t seem like I know what you’re talking about, I get it, but I do understand. N’ even if I didn’t, I don’t mind listening. Or laughing at you.” 

“What’s that about?” 

“The laughing?” you ask. “You tell me.” 

His hand slides behind your back in half a hug. “Guess it’s funny.” 

“Can I change my mind about the tattoo?” 

“The flowers not your favourite?” 

“No. You know which one I like best?” 

His thumb rubs into your back. “The snail.” 

“Absolutely the snail. You’re so fucking silly sometimes, I’m supposed to take you seriously when you’re yelling and red in the face with a snail on your arm?” 

You can’t see his face with your cheek to his shoulder, won’t know that he’s smiling at you with a rare aura of peace. Can’t see the wanting, either. 

[finelinefae]

the other woman

synopsis: y/n is the other woman who just wants to be loved

word count: 5.5k

contains: angst, not a super happy ending maybe it is depending how u see it idk, harry is kind of a dick, mentions of medication, mentions of mental health (anxiety, allusions to depression), harry definitely listens to the 1975 in this, smoking, friends with benefits situation, toxic relationship

. . .

"That's the ugliest piece of shit I have ever seen."

"Yeah,"

"I love it."

"You do?"

"I adore it."

"Good."

Harry sat against the headboard of her bed which took up the majority of his tiny bedroom in his even tinier apartment an hour train ride from central London. He was shirtless, his trousers were unbuttoned and his hair was a dishevelled mess. He had a cigarette between his teeth, Y/N hated the way the smoke made the room smell but she would never tell him that.

She sat up against the wall, her legs on top of his. She wore cotton underwear and his shirt, the buttons weren't done up, his gaze switching between his sketchbook and her breasts. Her eyes were fixated on the picture in the center of the white A3 pages.

She didn't know what it was but it was black and white and looked like skin. She wondered whether it was his skin but she wouldn't have called it ugly. She had seen every inch of his skin and the last forty-five minutes was proof of that. Her lips had pressed against the most intimate of places, she would know if it was his skin.

"What is it?" She frowned, tilting it to one side to see if a change in perspective would enhance its features.

"It's an areola," He responded, releasing a sigh, almost as if he was frustrated she didn't know he had taken a picture of a woman's breast.

"A tit?" Her heart began to race as she thought about him taking pictures of her without asking.

He chuckles and puts out his cigarette on her bedside table, leaning forward to throw it out of the window. "It sounds less artistic when you say it." He leans back again and reaches for a strand of her hair to play with. "But yes it is a tit."

'Who's is it?' She wanted to ask 'When did you take it?' 'Is she pretty?' 'Why not me?'

She could feel herself slipping away, wanting to cover herself up the more she questioned him in her own head. She glanced down at her chest briefly.

"It's not you." His words stung more than they should.

"I know that." She pushed the sketchbook away, not wanting to look at the picture of another woman's areolas. "What for?"

"We're doing the human form." He answers,

"Right."

"You're upset."

"I'm fine." She argued but the truth was she was upset and she hated the fact he knew that immediately.

He was good at hiding his emotions, he always had that sense of mystery to him, her not so much. She was sensitive and wore her heart on her sleeve. She was desperate to fall in love and when she did, she felt it to her very core, her chest would ache at the thought of being isolated from human contact. Sometimes she felt he took advantage of that but if she were to admit that, she would have to leave him and she couldn't do that.

She would rather die than be alone, especially if it meant being away from the one person to who she had developed an unhealthy attachment since they had met.

Harry's phone went off and he quickly reached across her to grab it from his side table. She felt like someone was pinching her all over as he bit back a grin at whoever had sent him a text. Suddenly being naked around him felt wrong so she quickly reached for her clothing that had been discarded on the bedroom floor.

"You're leaving?" He asks.

"Who is it?"

"It's nobody." She knew him long enough to know when he was lying.

"How long have you been seeing her?" Y/N wasn't going to cry, she wasn't, she really really wasn't.

Harry rolled his eyes, "You're being dramatic," He always tried to make it seem as if her feelings were too big for the space around them.

"You're a fucking jerk you know that?" She pulled her trousers up her legs and didn't even bother to button them up as she went in search for her shoes. "You show me someone else's tits as soon as we finish having sex? And then you get a text message and don't even tell me who it is?"

"I don't know why you're getting so upset we agreed long ago this was just a temporary thing."

"Oh I know you remind me that every time, I like to remind myself every day I'm just someone to pass the time." Y/N was used to being someone made to be used by someone else. She could be bleeding on the floor in the middle of the street and she wouldn't be surprised if someone took a plastic bottle and started filling it up with her blood in hopes it could save someone else before they even thought about rescuing her.

The problem was, she didn't even try to stop them. People entered her life and took pieces of her and carried them away with them, just to discard them later. Before she even thought about healing herself, someone else would come along and snatch another piece of her away.

That was the problem with people who were afraid of living with no love in their life, they were prepared to do anything for it. Y/N put too much faith in people despite the number of times she had been let down by the people close to her.

Harry was no different to that it seemed.

"What are you talking about? Hey," He grabs her wrist and pulls her into him, his eyes were sharp and for a brief moment, she thought she saw a flicker of emotion in his eye. Her heart pounded at the touch of his fingertips grazing her pulse. "What do you mean? You don't really believe that do you?"

"What does it matter? I know nothing about you Harry."

"You know more about me than anyone else does."

Sometimes it didn't feel like it.

Harry liked to make her feel special. He was good at it. He sent her texts during the day and brushed his hand against hers when they passed in the hallways. They'd come back to his place after a few drinks with friends in the evening, fuck, and be done with it. He'd send her away and act as if what they did didn't matter to him.

It mattered to her though. No one thinks that about a rebound or a person you had casual sex with but it always matters. She had never slept around until she had met him and now she was intoxicated by him because it mattered, right from the very beginning.

She closes her eyes and nods, "Please tell me who it was." She almost pleads with him.

"It's the girl in the picture, she's in my photography class." He admits.

"Do you like her?" Y/N almost whispers, she braces herself for the answer. She had been dreading the day he was planning to end this, she thought she would have more time.

Harry's head falls back like it kills him inside to give an honest answer to her question, "I really like her."

Y/N pushes him back and finally cries in front of him, "Go to Hell."

"Y/N-" He tries.

"No," She moves away from him quickly and reaches for the door, "And for what it's worth I lied, that is the ugliest piece of shit I've ever seen and I hate it. It's ugly and you are an awful photographer."

She was glad she got that out as she slammed the door behind her on the way out.

An hour later she called him.

"Harry, I'm sorry," She whimpers and sobs into the phone. It was an ugly, heart wrenching sob as she cried to him on the phone, "I didn't mean to upset you. I don't think it's ugly at all. I'm sorry,"

"Hey love, it's okay, it's okay," He comforted her.

"I didn't mean it Harry please forgive me I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry. Please, please, please, please." She said the words over and over again. Pleading for something that seemed like more than forgiveness.

"Y/N I forgive you, I promise. Please go to sleep." He asks her, he was worried for her but she had done this often enough he knew it wasn't anything serious.

"Promise?" She cries, sniffling.

"I promise,"

"Okay, I'm sorry Harry."

"I forgive you."

The call ended and Y/N lay back staring at the ceiling, her eyes burning from all the crying she had done since she got home from being with Harry. She turned over and took half a miligram of xanax and a sleeping pill, despite her doctor telling her not to, and fell asleep.

"Who was that?" Harry turned to look at the girl in the photo who was now lying on his bed. Her hair was flipped to one side, exposing her entire neck and collarbones.

"Nobody." He forced a smile on his face and walked over to her with his camera, the sounds of Y/N's pleading echoing in his head for the remainder of the night.

--

The next day, Y/N walked into the art room for her first class of the day. She took out her portfolio and sat at her table where she had been working on her next project. It was a painting she had been working on for the past few days and she wasn't near to being finished just yet.

Her eyes were swollen and red from having spent the majority of yesterday crying her eyes out. She skipped her therapy appointment and turned her phone off as she thought about how lonely she really was and how she had no one but herself to blame for putting herself in that situation.

Harry was also in this class but he hadn't turned up yet. The thought of him made her stomach twist. Picturing his smile as he told her about the girl he had been seeing, 'I really like her.' echoed in her head and she wondered what it would be like for him to say that about her.

"How's it going?" Ollie, a good friend of Y/N's, sat down at the easel and stool next to her and placed his backpack on the ground at his feet. He pulled out his pens and watercolor paints as he set up his station to paint.

"Fine." She muttered, reaching for her headphones in her pocket and putting one in her left ear.

"That doesn't sound good." He chuckled, shaking his head.

"I'm fine Ollie." She repeated, a little more hostile this time.

"Did you go to Harry's place yesterday? I tried to call you but it went straight to answerphone."

"What makes you think that?" She looked at him, tilting her head in curiosity.

"You have this look in your eye." He seems as if he doesn't want to go on but she waits for him to carry on speaking, "I don't know how to describe it... It's like someone's put light in your chest just to then suck the life out of you." He motions towards her painting, "Kind of like that."

She looked at her painting and stared at it. A woman sat in an empty room, a stream of light hitting her face from the window. Outside were people celebrating amongst vines and trees and flowers. The painting was a mixture of beiges and browns and green but the woman's eyes were black and lifeless... they were the saddest pair of eyes she had ever seen.

--

"Fuck," Harry groaned and fell on top of her, sweat beading his forehead as he left her and fell to her side. She lay there, staring at the ceiling, her mind was blank and her chest was heavy.

Harry reached across her for his phone, "Shit." He muttered, shifting to the end of the bed and jumping to his feet.

"What?" Y/N asked, sitting up, the blanket falling to her waist.

"I didn't know what time it was, I'm late for my class." He pulled up his trousers and ran his fingers through his hair as he went in search for a shirt to wear on his bedroom floor.

"Hmm." She sighed and fell back, reaching for one of his cigarettes and fiddling with it between her fingers.

"Are you going to smoke that?" He nodded towards the cigarette.

"Would you like me more if I did?" She replied.

He frowned, "I'd like you just the same."

She stared at him, he was so pretty. He had just gotten out of bed and his hair was a mess, his shirt had a stain on and his trousers were undone but he was so beautiful. She wondered if he ever thought that about her, whether she was beautiful despite the ugliness and mess.

Y/N reached for a lighter, lit the end of the cigarette, and inhaled the smoke.

She didn't seem to mind the way it made the room smell this time because it was a reminder that he had actually been there in her presence even just for a brief few minutes. She stared at the empty room where he once stood.

--

Y/N remembered when she first saw them together. It was a Friday night and all the art students spent Friday night at a bar in Camden Town. Y/N and Harry weren't in the same friendship circle but they had friends that knew friends and that was really how they met.

She sat with Ollie on a couch as everyone else played pool. She had taken three shots of vodka and was on her first drink of the night. The door opened and they both walked in hand in hand. The girl was stunning, her legs were long and thin, her hair was thick and wavy, her eyes were innocent and shone underneath the lights of the bar and her hand was intertwined with Harry's.

They caught eyes for a brief second before Harry turned away from her and went over to the bar to order them a drink. Ollie was talking about something she wasn't paying much attention to as her eyes stayed fixated on them.

She noticed the way his hand pressed against her back at the bottom of her spine and how he brushed her hair behind her ear as they leaned against the bar waiting for their drinks. How she smiled as he whispered something to her and bit her lip as he traced the back of her hand with the tip of his finger.

Y/N realised the Harry standing in front of her was someone she had never met before. It was strange how we never really know the people we meet as they choose to present themselves as someone else depending on who they are with. It's only when you're with your person that you can truly be your authentic self. She wondered which version of himself was real. She even wondered which version of herself was real, who she was with him or who she was without.

"I'm going to go over there." Y/N slurred, moving off the couch but falling back again as the room began to spin.

"Oh no you don't." Ollie pulled her back. "I'm not going to let you embarrass yourself like that."

"Why would I be embarrassed?" He looked at her like she was supposed to understand what he was hinting to.

"You'll forgive me in the morning." He said like he had done her some kind of favour.

She did.

--

"When are you going to take pictures of me for your class?" She wondered, playing with the ends of her hair on his bed as Harry fiddled with the strings of his guitar.

"You want me to do that?" He asked.

"Why not? I think it would be fun." She thought for a moment, "What would you choose to take pictures of?"

Harry pondered on the idea, thinking really hard to come up with an answer to her question. She bit her lip to hold back a smile. She liked the idea of him scanning his memories for parts of her body he had seen. It made her happy knowing that pieces of her were ingrained into his mind like lyrics to a song or the colours of the rainbow.

"Your eyes." He answered after a while.

She frowned, not expecting the answer, "What?"

"Your eyes." He repeated.

"That's it?" Her eyes were the only part of her he thought worth photographing?

"Yeah."

"That's boring." She muttered, falling back against the mattress.

"What makes you say that?"

"You took a picture of that girls boob and you've probably taken a lot more pictures since you like her so much." He cringed and set his guitar down to look at her properly. Harry knew he had to be careful with what he was saying, he could tell by the tone of her voice she was getting upset.

"Those were the only pictures I took." He argued, "And besides, I like your eyes."

"You never look into them." She retorts.

"Of course I do."

"You don't."

A beat of silence rested between them until Harry spoke again, "Maybe when you're not looking."

"Why would you look at my eyes when I'm not looking?" She wasn't understanding anything he was saying.

"Because I love watching you watch the world." He replied. "If I don't know how I feel about something I look at your eyes and everything makes sense. Sometimes it feels as though I'm understanding the world through you."

Her face softened, her heart settled in her chest. She felt warmth spread through her like she had just received a warm hug. The corners of her lips tugged upwards and she crawled over to kiss his cheek. "That was possibly the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me." She confessed, her heart expanding.

"Then you need to be surrounded by better people." He reached for his guitar. "Come sit here." He patted his thigh and she rolled off the bed to sit exactly where he asked.

He began to play a song on his guitar, gently singing the lyrics in a low voice. She rested her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his neck.

It was one of those moments she wanted to freeze and stay in forever. Nothing else existed outside of this bubble. Her heart was happy.

--

Ollie's birthday was January 23rd and he was having a house party at his flat.

"How many people are coming?" Y/N asked as she applied mascara in front of his bathroom mirror. She was crouched down inside the sink so she could get as close as possible to the mirror.

"I don't know, I invited about twenty and said they could spread the word to whoever was available." OIlie applied aftershave as he spoke.

"So everyone?"

"Possibly."

Y/N was excited to see Harry. Although they didn't speak much outside of the confinements of his bedroom, she was still looking forward to being in his presence. Ever since their intimate moment, they shared a few days ago, she had been longing for him. Her heart sighed in bliss at the thought of being near him again.

She wanted to wear something extra special that she thought he would like. Her hair was curled, which she never normally did, she wore black, leather trousers and a black corset to go with it and black heels to make her slightly taller than she really was. She accessorised with gold jewellery and had done her makeup in a much more simple manner.

"You look like that girl." Ollie spoke as soon as she walked into his kitchen.

"What girl?" She blushed.

"The one Harry was with at the bar the other night. I mean, the outfit is hot but you never wear your makeup and hair like that."

"Geez would it kill you to just say I look 'good'?" She mumbled, flicking her hair behind her shoulder. She never normally wore her hair down as it irritated her.

Ollie's face softened, she hated the sympathy on his face, "You look fucking hot." He said, pulling her in for a hug, "Don't let anyone change that." He whispered.

People began to arrive around 10pm. Ollie's apartment filled up rather quickly and Y/N was already on her third drink of the night. She was stood talking to a few of her friends from one of her textile classes until her eyes caught sight of the curly-headed boy she had been waiting for.

She smiled, excusing herself from the conversation and shifting through the crowd to get to him. "Harry hey," She beamed but then immediately felt her happiness slip from her.

"Hey Y/N," His eyes were wide at the sight of her, he was so used to seeing her in her natural form.

Y/N didn't reply as her focus was fixated on the girl talking to some other people. The girl he had bought with her. The girl in the photo. "Are you okay?" Harry asked when she didn't say anything.

"I'm fine." She forced a smile on her face.

"We're not staying long. I just thought I'd stop by to see Ollie." Her heart deflated at the use of 'we', they were a 'we' now.

"Right, I'm sure he'll appreciate it." She nodded, reaching for another drink.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He checked with her.

"I'm fine. I just need to use the bathroom." Y/N pushed past him and made her way to Ollie's bathroom which was surprisingly empty.

"Are you okay?" Someone asked her from behind as she was about to step into the bathroom.

She turned around and came face to face with the girl from the photo. She looked even more beautiful up close if that were even possible.

"I'm fine." Y/N muttered, it seemed as though that was the only response she was giving anyone nowadays.

"Harry sent me to come and see if you were okay." She said, even her voice was soft and gentle, "He was worried about you."

Y/N scoffed, "What he couldn't come find me himself?"

"He was trying to find Ollie I think-" The girl sighed, "If you're okay, I'll go back and tell him."

"Before you go...Can I ask you something?" Y/N could hear the voice in her head screaming at her not to say anything but she had to know, she needed to know.

"Go ahead." The girl seemed irritated by Y/N, like she was wasting her time.

"Do you know who I am?" Y/N could feel her eyes burn as she asked the question.

The girl from the photo frowned, confused by her question, "What?"

"Do you know who I am?" Y/N repeated but this time more sternly.

The girl from the photo looked at her, really looked at her, narrowing her eyes as if to get a better look. "I have no idea."

Y/N's insides felt as though they were bleeding. It was almost like Harry was the only one who was keeping her stitched together but now everything inside of her had come loose from that one reply.

The girl from the photo hesitated before saying, "I'll go and tell my boyfriend you're okay."

Y/N looked at her as she walked away, completely crushed. She walked into the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind her, falling onto her knees and sobbing into her hands.

She hadn't realised how much power he had over her until this moment. How much she relied on him and how she couldn't picture her life without him. She trusted him too easily and that was nobody's fault but her own.

Her breathing began to pick up and she felt a strange sensation like pins and needles trickle along her skin. She pulled off her trousers and her corset until she was in nothing but her bra and underwear. She crawled into the bathtub and turned on the shower so cold water could reach her skin, all whilst hyperventilating and crying her eyes out.

This was unlike any pain she had ever felt. She wasn't sure why it had hurt so much but maybe it was because another person had used her, maybe this time it was because she gave every inch of herself to him and she had nothing but skin and bones left.

"Y/N are you in there?" His voice was muffled from behind the door.

"G-Go away." She whispered, rocking backward and forwards with her head tucked into her knees and cold water wetting her skin.

"I'm worried about you, love." His voice sounded so sad.

"Go away." She carried on chanting like this was a nightmare she wanted to wake up from.

She felt soft hands touching her shoulders and immediately looked up into green, sad eyes. For once Harry was easy to read as his eyes showed nothing but remorse.

He reached past her and turned the shower off, she was shivering and he reached for a towel to wrap around her shoulders in hopes it would provide some warmth.

They said nothing, Y/N didn't get out of the bath as it helped in providing a separation between them. "Why don't you love me like I love you?" She whispered. Her eyes looking into his, they were red and her face was stained with tears.

There was no point in denying things anymore, he was one of the only people who knew she was too clever for that, "I don't know," His head fell forward, he felt defeated.

"Why did you put me here?" She cried, "Why did you put me here if you were just going to leave me?"

"I-I thought you understood what this was. I thought-" He lied.

Harry knew Y/N better than anyone in her life. He knew better than to hurt her like this.

"Why does everyone leave me?" She whimpered, "Why can't I be loved?"

"Y/N-"

"Please tell me you love me. Please, please, please," She was begging him, crying into his shoulder.

"I-I can't Y/N." Never had her name sounded so disgusting coming from his lips.

"I don't know what to do anymore Harry. I-I would rather die than be alone," She sobbed.

"Y/N you're never alone."

"You're ending this." She cried, "I'm alone."

He couldn't stand having this conversation and not being able to hold her. He stepped into the bathtub fully clothed and sat in front of her, reaching for her hand and holding it gently in his. The feeling of his skin seemed to ease some of the pain she had been feeling, but the loneliness still echoed throughout her.

"I don't know why I can't love you, Y/N, but it doesn't mean I don't feel anything about you. You have become my best friend—"

"I don't want to be your best friend. No, no," she shook her head. "You've killed me once by admitting you don't love me. Please don't send me to Hell by calling me your friend. Do you know how painful that is? I just want to be loved by you. Is that too much to ask? I have given everything, I have given everything to you. I rooted for you in every way possible. I have killed myself trying to get you to love me, and I don't think I even know who I am anymore because of it."

Harry didn't know what to say. He was selfish and a coward and undeserving of her love, and he wished she could see that.

"Y/N—"

"Please just leave."

His eyes watered at the thought of going about his life without her. He could feel the air around them grow thick, his chest rising and falling as he tried to breathe in. He felt like he was drowning at the thought of her leaving his life. Despite not loving her in the way she desired, he realized he would also be alone without her.

Maybe that was it.

All along, they had just been two people dealing with loneliness and coping with it differently. One used the other to fill the gaps in the spaces where they felt most alone, and the other fell hopelessly in love in hopes it would change them. That was the true nature of it, and even if they were meant to be together at some point, now was not the time.

"Listen to me," Harry whispered, collecting her hands and holding them to his chest. "I'm going to leave."

She choked on a sob.

"I don't want to do that." She shook her head. "I just want to be with you." The thought of the loneliness seeped into her pores, and she didn't think it would be possible for her to stay afloat as she drowned in it.

"I'm sorry, Y/N," he said softly, tears streaming down his face. "I'm so sorry. I don't want to hurt you. I-I don't know what I'm doing."

She was taken aback by his tears and was unsure of what to do. It was the first time she had seen him cry, the first time she realized he was equally as afraid as she was. She leaned forward and wrapped him in a hug, allowing him to cry into her shoulder.

This was the end.

"I love you, Harry. I really do," she whispered into his ear.

He couldn't reply, so he just sobbed even harder.

--

The days hadn't changed so much when Harry stepped out of Y/N's life.

They didn't talk much during the day when they were friends so Y/N went about carrying on her classes and speaking to Ollie who she appreciated more than ever as he comforted her when she was feeling at her worst. It was Ollie who made the days feel... a little less lonely.

She missed his touches and texting him on her phone but she tried to come up with ways to cope with that by watching youtube videos or drawing so she wasn't tempted to unblock him and forgive him again.

The nights were the hardest. Y/N hadn't realised that the only reason she'd been sleeping was because of Harry. She had tried to not take sleeping pills to help her get to sleep but sometimes she'd spend the entire night just painting in hopes it would made her tired.

Since they had some of the same friends now, Y/N knew of Harry's ventures through word of mouth. He had broke things off with the girl from the photo the day after Ollie's birthday party. Turns out they weren't really in an established relationship and the girl did know who Y/N was because Harry never stopped talking about Y/N when they were together.

That made her smile.

He was an assistant to a wedding photographer on the weekends so that he could save up some money for his own studio. She was happy to hear he was actually making the most of his talent instead of wasting it like she had considered doing multiple times.

Other than that, the days went by rather slowly and nothing out of the ordinary happened. She had been on dates here and there and was in her first real relationship in her third year of University but that only lasted a few months. Turns out he was cheating on her the entire time they were together which felt like one step forwards and two steps back.

Y/N moved into an apartment in central London after she graduated and did some freelancing as an illustrator whilst working weekends at a hotel and the evenings at a bar in Soho.

Her life was mundane but she was okay with that. She had spent so much time focusing on others that she forgot to focus on herself. She had started going to therapy, the gym, and even became vegetarian for a little while. She was no longer taking Xanax as often as she used to and spent less time thinking about Harry.

She wondered what he was up to from time to time but in the end, she just hoped he wasn't alone.

[writersblockiskillingme]

Red | The Salesman

Pairing: The Salesman x fem!reader

Summary: After a tiring day, you're just trying to go home, but while you're waiting on your train, a handsome man in a suit stumbles on you.

Warning/s: betting, money in exchange for a game, slapping (on the face, you nasty), salesman trying to recruit you for the games, smoking cigarettes, people on the station being kind of weirded out, maybe some cursing (idk), reader is in debt, possible grammar and spelling mistakes

Author's note: So this is like the prequel to my story Russian Roulette, but it really doesn't matter whether you read that fic or this one first. You do you. I really love the request, btw. Hope you enjoy!

Request: hii can u make more stories in this story line between the reader n him? like i rlly wanna know what they were like tgthr before this situation since we r told they had smth tgthr at some point tyyyy

Part 2 here!!

The bench where I was sitting was quite cold, which, of course, wasn't surprising considering how cold it was tonight. My hand slightly shook as I wrapped my fingers around the lit up cigarette that I was smoking for who knows how long. My flimsy jacket that was wrapped around me did not bring exact comfort to me that I had hoped it would.

Shivering there, I sat as the announcer's voice rang around the train station, signaling that the train that I was waiting for to go home would be slightly delayed, forcing me to wait there for entire hour more than I should be waiting. It was already late and I was so done with today's day.

Trying to earn money was hard, especially when you're in a lot of debt. Being chased by the people who you owe money to, threatening to cut out your eyes, possibly even kill you in the end, wasn't fun either. You had to learn to sleep with one eye open. Constantly on edge, just like I was right now.

The job that I worked did not provide as much money as I needed it to. There was simply no way for me to earn enough money for food every day, to pay rent which I was already three months behind. My landlord was truly a fucking angel for letting me live in that house as long as I did, but I knew that that wouldn't last forever either. There was no way that I could afford to pay everything that was essential, let alone pay off my debts.

In frustration, letting out a deep, disappointed sigh, my hand slid into the pocket of my jacket, reaching for yet another cigarette and a lighter.

"Hello, miss."

I practically jumped from my seat, startled by a sudden voice next to me. I whipped my head around, finding the face that this voice belonged to.

Right next to me, smiling, was a very handsome man that looked like some kind of salesman. He was wearing a very expensive suit. His hair was as black as the night sky. His piercing eyes just as black. There was little to no facial hair, but that really suited him. He was very handsome and I quickly found myself surprised when I realized that he was actually talking to me.

"Can I talk to you?" He asked once he noticed how startled I was.

"I'm not a prostitute, sir." I said, sliding away on the bench further away from him.

"Don't worry, miss, it's not that." He chuckled gently, his eyes never leaving mine. "I just want to let you in on a great opportunity to win some money."

There was just silence for a while. I sad nothing all the while he kept looking at me.

"Um..." I looked at him and, for a while, just couldn't bring myself to speak up. "No, thank you."

"'No'?" He asked.

It seemed like I caught him by surprise, but after a little while I noticed something else in his eyes that I just couldn't seem to figure out. Some kind of amazement? Respect even? But there was definitely something that I couldn't label quite yet.

"There is definitely a catch." I smiled slightly. I would love to get some money, of course, but I know that it won't be that easy.

"Miss." The salesman smiled once again, his eyes surprisingly gently just like his voice as he spoke. "Would you like to play a game with me?

"Wha-What kind of g-game?" I found myself stuttering a bit. "Look, if this is some sort of sick perverted thing you're doing 'cause I swear if you try something, I am going to scream." I threatened, a newfound confidence overwhelming me.

He chuckled once more, "No, nothing like that, Miss."

All of a sudden, he quickly turned his face away from me as he reached to open his suitcase. I could swear that for a split second I saw him blush, but then I realized that I probably imagined it because there's no way. I mean, sure, he is very handsome, but the two of us are a whole world apart, too different from each other.

"I'm sure you've played ddakji before, right?" He spoke and I looked at the open suitcase that was resting between us.

There were a few piles of money on one side and two different colors of ddakji on the other side. Red and blue. I looked at him with surprise.

"You-You want me to play ddakji with you?" I asked, raising my eyebrow in question.

He nodded with a smile.

"For money?"

He nodded again, "Play a few rounds of ddakji with me and each time you win, I'll pay you a 100,000 won."

Damn.

I mean, sure, why not. I loved that game when I was a kid, and I didn't have a chance to play the game in what seemed like forever. Plus, if I win, I get money. It all seemed amazing, but then I realized what the problem with all of this could be.

"And what if I lose and you win." I asked, he continued to smile as he answered.

"Then you pay me 100,000 won."

"Sir, this is amazing and all, don't get me wrong." I gently said, "But I'm afraid that I don't have the money to pay you back."

"That is all right, miss." His smile unwavering. "We'll figure something else regarding that if it comes to it."

For a moment, I just sat there in silence, pondering the offer. But after a while I finally decided.

"Ah, sure," I sighed before matching his smile and meet his eyes, "Why not?"

"What color would you like to play as?" He asked me, taking both red and blue ddakji as I stood up. He followed me almost immediately.

"Red, please." I said and he smiled as he handed me the red ddakji.

As I reached for the red one that he was handing me out, our hands touched. For a moment we both froze, but then I quickly took the ddakji and moved away.

It was so strange. The feeling I got when I touched his hand. It was as if some sort of electricity went straight through me, forcing me to quickly move away due to the shock of it all.

He cleared his throat before extending his right hand, pointing to the floor, "You gotta first, Miss."

I nodded, and with that, he placed the blue ddakji on the ground, and I stood over it. I took a stronger hold of the red ddakji and stood up more straight as I glared at the blue ddakji. Goodness, I haven't done this in years, I thought to myself, letting out a shaky breath.

I took a deep breath.

I could feel his eyes on me.

I swang my arm behind my head before powerfully striking his blue ddakji. Apparently, I must have done something wrong because his blue ddakji moved but did not flip over. I let out a sigh, looking kind of defeated.

He stepped forward, grabbed his blue ddakji, and stood back up. I moved away, giving him more space, his eyes folowing my every move. Almost immediately, he swang his arm behind his head, slaming his blue ddakji on my red one, flipping it over with ease. I sighed as he turned to look at me, teasing smile making it's way on his face.

"So..." I spoke up, kind of unsure and slightly intimidated, "So what now? I lost."

"Don't worry about money." He spoke up, kind of surprising me with that one, "We'll discuss it at the end if that is okay with you, Miss?"

"Sure." I answered him, meeting his eyes.

His smile widened a little bit more as we, for a few moments, just stood there taking each other in. All of a sudden, he cleared his throat, snapping himself out of it.

"One more round?" He asked as he fixed his tie, I nodded, not saying a word.

Turns out, one round meant about five more. I lost every single round. It truly began to seem like luck wasn't on my side that day.

We got to the last round, the sixth one. I was getting annoyed, constantly losing. I took a deep breath. His blue ddakji stared at me, my red one locked in my hand. I flipped my ddakji over and decided that that was it. I swang my hand behind my head and delivered the most powerful swing yet. I stared at his blue ddakji and my red one as both of them flipped in the air before his blue ddakji landed on the cold floor. It flipped over... I won...

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my lips as he gave me a little applause, smiling as I jokingly bowed.

"Wow," I chuckled, "I finally won the round."

"Well done, Miss." He chuckled lowly, but somehow so softly as he reopened his suitcase handing me 100,000 won. "As promised."

"Thank you," I said, taking the money, "but I lost like five times. Tell me, what can I possibly give you to make this even."

"How about you give me the pleasure of taking you out for dinner, Miss?" He spoke up almost shyly in a way that was so endearing, and even though it seemed like that look wouldn't fit him, it somehow did. "Only if you want to, of course."

"I..." I spoke up stuttering and blushing a bit, surprised by his offer, "I would love to."

After that interesting interaction, we went out to get dinner. I had a great time with him, and even though I hated to admit it, I started to like him. We talked on and on about random things. We were truly having fun and that made my day so much better.

Before separating, he gifted me a blood red rose, and he gave me a card that looked really strange. At the front of the brownish card was a circle, a triangle, and a square. I flipped the card over and saw what looked like a telephone number.

"Miss, there are other games like the one that we played where you can make even more money than you did. So much more." He started to explain, but his expression became different. His smile was gone and there was a sort of gloomy gaze in his eyes. That seemed to surprise him. "Think about it."

He stepped closer to me, looked me deep in the eyes before he started to slowly lean in. I found myself doing the same. Our lips met. We were just standing there, outside of the restaurant, rose in my hand, his hands on my face deepening the kiss.

As we parted ways, he told me that he hoped to see me again if I made it. Whatever that meant.

I took another look at the card that he gave me, staring at the number, not knowing that I will meet my childhood friend Gi-hun, not knowing what the games will do to both of us and to all the other people, not knowing the amount of money I was gonna win, not knowing that I will spend the next three years of my life chasing the man of my life, trying to haunt him down, not knowing how dangerous the last game that we'll play will be.

TAGLIST:

@shadow-tumbler

[tiredofthehumanlife]

Honey(s) I'm home and very sad!

Barbie dolls: Roommates! Rosekiller x gn!reader

Word: 2.6k

Summary: uh you have a rlly rlly bad day and your lovely roommates make you feel better with cuddles and ice cream

Warnings: uh Barty dresses slutty?, eating mentioned and particuly described (ice cream), undefined retaliationship you're roommates but also crushing but also affectionate but also not talking Abt it idk stop asking, I lost like three hundred followers bc I was super depressed so to those three hundred people you suck I think🫀 so actually I take that back new information has come up and turns out its a Tumblr glitch my bad, you sleep in Evan and Barty's bed for like three seconds, Evan smokes, Barty hates fiction books and reads self help and nonfiction instead, Evan's very cleanly, Barty's very not that, idk do you guys actually rlly even like me or whatsittoya, kisses very cutesie, you cry, uh extremely brief mention of fighting

Hard days were never something that you truly expected. Sure you could picture all the worst possibilities and know that something bad will happen but you still never catch the full feeling of your reaction until you're sitting in it. You don't particularly want to show your upset but at the same time, you haven't turned your lips up in hours. The whole day just went downhill from the start. Once you start to think of the specifics you feel tears well up in your eyes. You just needed to get home. That's all. 

You weren't going to cry on the way home you'd do it in the safety of your own walls. You hoped your roommates, Evan and Barty, were in their room. You couldn't face them like this, you needed to hold on to the last bit of dignity you still had with them. You could never keep a hold of yourself with them. You snorted in your laughter even though their jokes weren't that funny. You fell over your words and came away from your conversations wishing you could try again. You stared too hard and ended up getting caught. You'd share too much information in an attempt to impress them. 

All you wanted was to go home, curl up in your blankets, and cry until you felt like a raisin. You felt the weight of your day double as you slipped your key into your front door. You hooked your keys onto the key holder on the wall. You shrugged your coat off, throwing it at the coat tree. You felt your tears building up as your walls slowly slipped away. The familiar home relaxed them even then you wanted to hold strong until you got to your room. You couldn't toe your shoes off fast enough, getting so frustrated you reached down and yanked your shoe off. You flung it at the shoe rack, ignoring that it wasn't anywhere near the other one you had slipped off. 

As you left the foyer, stepping towards your bedroom, Barty and Evan’s door opened. Barty leaned against the frame, crossing his arms over his chest. His sweatpants were riding low on his hips, showcasing his happy trail. His shirt was butchered and jaggedly cut along the bottom of his rib cage.

“Hey baby, have you ever tried that cake-” Barty paused when he saw the anger and tears pulling at your face. He straightened up, dropping his arms to his sides. 

“What's the matter?” Barty asked. You shook your head and waved him off. You could easily slip away now, get to your room before Evan found out. Barty could let something like this slide but not Evan. Evan must've been summoned by your thoughts because just as you thought you could get away scot-free Evan’s hand slid over Barty's shoulder. His form appeared after that, slipping next to Barty past the doorframe. He furrowed his eyebrows at you. You grumbled incoherently as you realized you weren't going to be able to get out of this one. 

“Are you okay?” Evan asked. You hated how easily Evan was able to massage away your wall with just his tone. You had been holding the tears back so well too. Just a few more minutes and you could’ve made it to your room. You wanted to just say ‘yes’ and to retreat your room. You wanted to swallow your tears and act mature… by hiding your feelings, obviously. Unfortunately what you wanted and what Evan's presence caused was something entirely different. 

Something about him just broke your walls so easily. It wasn't his tone, it wasn't his words, it wasn't his charming attitude, it was just him entirely. Evan could just lay his eyes on you and you were falling apart at his feet. You wondered if maybe Barty felt the same. 

Your throat tightened with sadness and your eyes welled with tears. You shook your head, looking away from him. Evan’s breath hitched and covered it up with a hum. He stepped around Barty and held his arms out for you. You didn't bother fighting the urge to hide in them. You wrapped your arms around his waist, pressing your cheek into his shirt. Evan’s arms warmed your back, it pushed you closer to tears. Evan hummed, the vibrations comforting you. 

You felt Barty's hand join at your back, rubbing up and down. You let the tears go, crying into Evan's sleep shirt. Barty’s hand continued its comforting circles. You let it all go, all the frustrations of the day. Evan and Barty didn't stall for a second. They let you choke it all out, your shoulders shaking with tears. 

A few minutes later, your tears slowed. You sucked in a breath, pulling away from Evan. Evan drew his hands away from your back, cupping your face instead. Barty didn’t move his hand, continuing to rub circles on your back. You steadied yourself with your hands on Evan’s waist. 

“Do you want to lie down?” Evan asked, raising an eyebrow at you. You nodded, feeling the urge to slink back into his arms again. Evan released your face, slipping his hand into yours. He tugged you towards his and Barty’s room. You ignored the gnawing feeling that you were intruding. Barty stayed back, the sounds of him shuffling towards the kitchen behind your head. Evan nudged his bedroom door open with his foot, dragging you after him. 

You were rarely in Evan and Barty’s room. How frequently did one really need to be in their roommates’ bedroom? Not very. You’d ventured in once or twice before when Barty asked you to get something, or when Evan overslept and you had to nudge him awake so he wasn’t late for work. Though Evan rarely overslept anyway. 

Some nights you’d wake up with a deep desire for water, wandering for the kitchen with your eyes closed. You pull down a glass, fill it, and take a sip before noticing Evan’s presence. You still have your lips on the edge of the glass, halfway through the motion of tipping it up.

Evan was frozen on the windowsill, a lit cigarette still half between his fingers. The moonlight made his eyes shine like the way you’d catch a marsupial stealing your garbage in the middle of the night. His thumb flicked, making the bright cigarette bounce and the dark ash fall outside the window. You raised an eyebrow, lowering your glass. Evan sniffed, pulling his hand to his mouth again. He sucked in a deep drag of his cigarette, the end’s color glaring in the dark room. You kept your eye on him as you chugged the rest of your glass, finishing off the water completely. Evan stuck his hand out the window again, tilting his head back as a plume of smoke floated above his head. You set your glass in the sink deciding to wash it in the morning. 

“You know if you wake up in the middle of the night with intense thirst, it means you’re dehydrated,” Evan said, his voice still quiet from his distance. You groaned, flipping him off and shuffling back to bed. You ignored his chuckle behind you, still too tired to think of a good quip. 

Evan dropped your wrist, dragging your attention back to the moment. Their room was messy, but not terribly. It was a little obvious who was the messy one. The clothing on the floor you had only seen Barty wear and the large pair of black boots thrown at the foot of the bed were definitely his too.

Evan’s shoes were precisely set next to the door. The dresser shoved in the back corner seemed like his too, with multiple books stacked on top. All fiction, Barty couldn’t stand fiction novels.

You could easily deduce which side of the bed was whose, the right, closest to the door, had a pillow on the floor, and the blanket was skewed and clumped. The left had a pillow tilted but on the mattress and the blanket was set straight. The nightstand on the right had a tented book that appeared to be a self-help book on romantic relationships and a knocked over cologne bottle, the cap missing. Barty seemed to be about three chapters in, if that. You raised an eyebrow, slowly turning to Evan. Evan pressed his lips together and shrugged. 

“Barty’s a little messy. I’ve learned to live with it.” Evan muttered, his hand flying out to set the tipped-over cologne bottle on Barty’s nightstand upright. You hummed, still glued in your spot. Evan ignored it, stepping over Barty’s boots to get to his side of the bed. He slid under the blankets, smacking the mattress next to him on Barty’s side. You joined him, picking Barty’s pillow off the floor on the way there. You tossed it onto the bed, laying down and dropping your head on it. Evan let out a huff through his nose and gently brought his hand to your face, tracing the lines of your face. You closed your eyes and let your mind and body rest now that you were finally home. 

It probably wasn’t a good thing that you associated your sense of home with your roommates. It’s an obvious connection but maybe not to this degree. Your apartment didn’t feel whole without them.

At some point, they were going to pack their bags and move, or maybe you would, either way, you’d be without your two very peculiar roommates. You’d miss their strange habits. You weren’t sure you could find another roommate who would walk around the house on all fours if he got too sleep-deprived and your other roommate who would use stares as a form of communication. You weren’t sure if you could move on from your freaks of shared living quarters friends. They made you feel free and utterly comfortable. You knew they wouldn’t judge you for any of the slightly odd things you did because they did far worse things. 

You shouldn’t feel so attached to these two and yet here you were, snuggled up in their blankets. You weren’t going to even think of the strange urge to lean forward and kiss them both that washed over you far too frequently. Evan’s hand slipped away, instead pulling your hand away from your chest to hold onto it himself. You felt sleep pulling at your mind, his soft fingertips on your skin slipping away. Your lungs filled and released like a rocking wave with ease. Your body stopped moving, joints going rigid with sleep. 

And then Barty slammed open the door, the doorknob knocking back into the wall. You jolted, your rest shattering like a glass vase. You sat up on your elbows, looking back at the door. Evan sat up straight, annoyance weighing his brow down. 

“Barty!” Evan chided, staring at the man in the doorway with disbelief. Barty turned around with three bowls cradled in his arms. A spoon was held between his teeth, his foot jutting out to find the edge of the door. He hooked the back of his heel over the edge, kicking his leg back to close the door. Barty tried to respond, the spoon in his mouth making it choppy. A few strings of guttural sounds slipped out from behind his teeth, making the general shape of a sentence. You let them stir in your head for a moment, trying to decipher them. 

Evan shook his head, not understanding a lick of what Barty said. He turned to you, to see if you caught it but you doubted you could’ve caught it if there wasn't a spoon in his mouth. You threw a hand up, giving up entirely. Barty let out a scoff, joining you two at the side of the bed. He set down one of the bowls on his nightstand, next to his book. He leaned down over his bowl, tilting his head to the side. Barty opened his mouth, letting the spoon clatter inside the bowl. You sat up, looking inside to see his favorite ice cream inside. Barty stuck the other two bowls out to you and Evan. You gently took it from him, looking between Evan and Barty. 

“I didn’t have hands, it’s hard to be quiet when you’re opening a door with no hands,” Barty said. His hand flapped, silently telling you to scoot over. You scooted into Evan’s side, leaning back against the bed frame. Barty flung himself into the mattress, making you and Evan bounce up and down for a moment. You stared at Barty in displeasure with your rather cold bowl in your hands. You pictured the moment from outside your view, Barty’s relaxed and stretched frame on the bed. You and Evan glaring while bouncing with your bowls held away from you. You would’ve laughed if your nap hadn’t been rudely interrupted. Barty sat up, pulling his bowl off his nightstand into his lap. He stuck his spoon into his ice cream, bringing the spoonful to his mouth. He looked up and paused in his eating. 

“What?” His words were muffled by the ice cream in his mouth. You sniffed, turning to look at Evan. Evan shook his head at Barty. 

“We were peacefully sleeping, Barty,” Evan said, still accepting the ice cream and pulling his spoon up to his mouth. You decided they had no problem with eating in their bed, scooping out your own bite. 

“Yeah in my bed. That I paid for, thank you for your service, Barty. We love you, Barty. You’re so sexy, Barty. Please, Barty, let us repay you for your kindness. That’s what I want to hear out of your mouths right now, not complaints.” Barty said, tipping his voice up to mock your voices. You glanced at Evan to make sure you heard right. You kept your eyes on your ice cream as you readied another mouthful. 

“I’m not saying that.” You muttered before taking a bite into your mouth. Evan hummed in agreement. 

“You must’ve forgotten to take your pills this morning because I would never say that.” Evan frowned, licking his spoon clean before taking another bite. Barty quickly swallowed his scoop before faking a gasp. 

“You don’t love me? Wow okay, I see how it is.” Barty joked, a smile playing on his lips. Evan froze, staring at the blanket to run back through Barty’s words. He dropped his spoon into his bowl. 

“Well, no. I do love you. I take back what I said.” Evan said, keeping his eyes on Barty to make sure his point was taken seriously. Barty cooed, leaning forward over your lap. He puckered up his lips and you leaned back. Evan met him in the middle, pressing a kiss to Barty’s lips. You stifled a groan at being trapped both between and under them. 

“Gross. I have feelings too, you know.” You muttered, trying to look anywhere but the kiss between your two rather attractive roommates. They pulled back from each other, returning to their original seats. You felt your shoulders relax, knowing the discomfort was finally over. You looked down at your bowl, stabbing your spoon into your ice cream again. You are startled at the feeling of their lips pressing against both your cheeks in two brief kisses. They pulled back returning to their ice cream. 

“We love you too,” Barty muttered before taking another bite of his ice cream. You hummed, swallowing down the true feelings you could bring up. Barty was the first to finish his bowl, setting it on his nightstand. He took the silence as a sign for him to tell you both about his day in extreme detail. You didn’t mind it. Barty was entertaining and it distracted you from your terrible day. You actually enjoyed laying in bed with them, eating ice cream, and watching Barty fling his arms about to explain his day. At one point he got up to act out how’d he‘d pummel Evan’s boss if he didn’t give Evan a promotion soon. 

[aemondapologistfrfr]

Your Favorite Flavor - pt3

modern!aemond x fem!dealer!reader

Part 1 Part 2

Summary: Aemond and you have been talking nonstop and he makes the trip to come visit you. By the end of his visit you two are closer than he ever thought possible. 

Warnings: 18+ swearing, smoking, drugs(weed), face riding, fingering, spanking, oral(f+m), p in v, unprotected

Authors Note: idk when i’m ever gonna get over this man and it’s a touch concerning ! n e ways this is cute and filthy again x

Word Count: 5.6k

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The semester is still a couple weeks out and Aemond has never been more excited for exams so he can go home and see you again. He texts you when he has any moment of spare time and everytime he sees the three little dots his heart races. On late nights when his roommate is out he FaceTimes you for hours and listens to you whine that he’s not next to you. 

“And you say I’m the one who pouts.” Aemond chuckles as you groan and roll over on your bed. 

“Shut up, almond.” you glare at the screen filled with his face. “I think you should come visit me.” you mumble and he grins. 

“Why?” he smirks and you scoff. 

“Do you need an excuse to come see me? You’re the one who begged me last time.” you purse your lips and he relaxes back into his bed. 

“Mm, I think I’d like to hear you beg for me.” he watches your cheeks flush. 

“I’m sure you would.” your voice doesn’t hold the steadiness you’d like it to. 

“I’ll wait.” he chews on his lip with a smile. 

“Aemond,” he hums at you saying his actual name for once. “Please Aem,” you push your bottom lip out. His heart races as your tone “You don’t even have to stay the whole weekend. I just want you to make me come and smoke with me.” you bat your eyelashes at him. “Please,” you whine and he groans and he’s already mentally packing his bag. 

“What will I get out of it?” he raises his brow, enjoying that he’s teasing you for once. 

“Anything.” the word spills from your mouth quickly. “Kisses, head, you can keep me in bed the whole time if you want.” his eyes darken watching you get worked up. “I won’t call you almond all weekend.” he throws his head back and laughs. 

“I don’t believe that for one second.” he purses his lips. 

“Are you coming or not?” you pout. 

“Ask me nicely one more time.” he watches as you move from the bed and prop the phone up and you get on your knees putting your hands in front of you. His breath catches watching you stare at him from the ground. 

“Aemond please,” your whine has his cock starting to harden. “Please come take care of me. I want your- 

“Hey Aemond.” his roommate walks into the room and Aemond turns the volume down. 

“Let me call you later.” he looks down at the phone with flushed cheeks.

“Wait wait, is that your little girlfriend?” Aemonds eyes widen at his words and is about to hang up the phone. 

“You can properly say goodbye to me. Do not hang up on me.” you purse your lips as he looks down at the screen and back to his roommate.

“That weed you gave me was some of the best shit I’ve had. I don’t mind being displaced if you leave more baggies.” he chuckles before walking into the bathroom and shutting the door with a snap. 

“You told him I’m your girlfriend?” you smile nibbling your lip. He groans, throwing his head back. 

“No, I,” he shakes his head. “I just,” his brows scrunch not knowing what to say and he feels his face heat. 

“Oh baby almond.” you coo much to his horror. 

“You said you wouldn’t call me almond.” he whines and you chuckle. 

“Then come make me stop.” you challenge. “Almond.” you watch his nostrils flare and you giggle. 

“I’ll pack a bag and be on my way within the hour.” he gets up and grabs an empty bag. 

“What about your Friday class?” you raise your eyebrow. 

“I haven’t used any of my absences yet, I’ll be good. I’ll text you when I’m on my way.” you nod quickly with a smile. 

“Okay. Drive safe, almond.” he rolls his eyes and hangs up the call. 

Aemond tosses his phone to the end of his bed and gets up throwing clothes into the bag. He goes to the fridge and grabs some of your soda to bring to you. His roommate comes out of the bathroom and looks at him packing his bag. 

“You good?” he falls back onto his bed. 

“I’m gonna be gone for the weekend.” Aemonds tone slightly clipped, remembering his words of his ‘little girlfriend’.

“Can you pick up for me from your girl? I can send you money.” Aemond sighs and nods his head zipping up his bag. 

“Yeah just send me the money and I’ll grab it.” he stands and offers him a smile. 

Aemond gets to his car quickly and tosses his bag in and starts it up. He sends you a text and starts his drive. He drums his fingers on the wheel with a ridiculous smile on face. He doesn’t care that it’s the middle of the night and he can’t wait to have you in his arms again. Time flies as he drives and soon he’s back in town. He calls you once he’s five minutes away and you answer with a sleep thick voice. 

“Aem?” you hum and he bites his lip. 

“I’m about to pull up.” he hears the blankets shuffle. 

“I’ll meet you outside.” you mumble and hang up the phone. He pulls into your driveway and sees you open the front door and wait for him on the porch. He grabs his bag and walks up to you and you wrap your arms around him. 

“You look so sleepy.” he hums, pulling back and cupping your cheeks. 

“I am.” you pout up at him and tug him into the house. You shut the door and lock it before pulling him upstairs. He follows you into your room and you grab his bag and toss it to the floor. 

“Get back into bed. I’ll be there soon.” he scoots you to your bed and starts to kick off his shoes. You watch him from under the blankets as he pulls his shirt off and pushes down his pants. You lift the blankets and he crawls into bed next to you and you curl against him and his arms wrap around you.

“I missed you.” you mumble and his arms tighten. 

“I missed you too.” he presses his lips to the top of your head. He looks down at you and sees your eyes shut and smiles as he closes his holding you closer. 

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Aemond stretches out as he feels a soft tickling at his neck. He smiles and wraps his arms around your waist as you start to kiss at his neck with more fervor. His hands slip under your shirt as you kiss up his jaw. You press your lips to his and squeak as his hands travel down and squeeze your ass. His hands trail between your thighs, smiling that you're bare and he starts to pull you up his body. 

“Aem,” you giggle as he keeps scooting you up. “What are you doing?” you bat at his hands. 

“Trying to get you to sit on my face.” he smirks as you flush on his chest. He rubs circles into your thighs trying to coax you a little higher. His fingers slip under your thighs and lift you quickly and you gasp as he sets you on his mouth. “Just like this.” he kisses each of your thighs before pressing his lips against your bud. 

His hands travel under your shirt and travel up to your breasts and begin to tweak your nipples. His tongue softly licks at you and you whimper softly above him. His lips encase your bud and you tremble holding onto his arms under your shirt. Your hips start to softly rock against his mouth and he starts lapping at you faster. 

“Please yes,” your pleas are breathy and he pinches your nipples and you mewl above him. His hands sliding down to your hips and he starts to grind you against his mouth. He watches your stomach flex and tighten and his tongue flicks even faster. He hears your quick gasps and pulls you closer against his mouth. “Aemond,” your nails dig into his arms as you come across his face. He lifts you off of his face and takes in your flushed face. 

You lean down and smash your lips to his. You kiss him desperately holding him tightly as he rolls over to hover above you. He can feel the absolute need pouring off of you as you whine into his mouth. He lifts up and chuckles as you pull him back down against you. He goes to lift up again and you wrap your legs around him holding him tightly. “Please,” you whine arching up into him. 

“Gods you’re so needy today.” he chuckles watching you squirm beneath him. He laughs as a pout forms on your face and he kisses it away. You sigh, burying your fingers in his hair. “What do you wanna do today?” he hums against your lips. 

“You.” you reach up and press your lips to his. 

“I was thinking I could take you out somewhere.” he pulls back and looks down at you. 

“Almond, are you trying to take me on a date?” you smirk up at him and watch his cheeks flush. 

“You said you wouldn’t call me that all weekend.” he purses his lips as you continue to giggle. “Get up and get dressed.” he untangles from you and watches you pout in the pile of blankets. 

“Where are you dragging me?” you throw your shirt at him and he turns to you with dark eyes. 

“I want to surprise my little girlfriend and take her somewhere. So get up and get dressed.” your breath catches at his tone causing your cheeks to heat. You nod and walk over to your closet grabbing out clothes. He watches you get dressed and smiles to himself that you actually listened and looked flushed. He pulls his pants on and grabs the bag with your soda. “I brought you these.” he hums and you turn to him tilting your head. 

“Almond.” you coo grabbing the bag. He’s had enough of the nickname for the weekend and stalks over to you grabbing your chin making you look up at him. “Hm?” you blink up at him. 

“I’ve had enough of you calling me almond.” he glares at you as you smirk. “I mean it.” he flares his nostrils. 

“Mm do you almond?” he dips his head down to yours. 

“If you say it again I won’t let you come for the rest of the weekend.” he watches your eyes widen in shock. 

“That’s no way to treat your ‘little girlfriend’.” you purse your lips squinting your eyes at him. 

“It's no way to treat your boyfriend calling him ‘baby almond’.” he waits for your response as he watches your cheeks flush. 

“If you wanna date me you need to ask me out.” you tilt your chin up higher. 

“If you wanna date me you need to stop calling me baby almond.” he raises his eyebrow to you. 

“So is little almond okay? Or what about my little almond joy?” he exhales deeply looking up at the ceiling. 

“Your little almond joy is getting ready to put you over his knees.” you smile getting excited seeing this side of him. “I don’t want to hear anything else. Finish getting dressed so I can take you on a date.” he purses his lips as he grabs his bag to find a shirt. 

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Aemond stares at you from across the table unbelieving that he’s in a staring contest with you at a cafe. You rest your head in your hands and stare at him unblinking and he mirrors your movements. The waitress drops off the drinks and you mumble a thanks still staring ahead at Aemond. You know this will make him terribly mad but you have no plans on losing. You kick his leg under the table and he blinks at you, baffled as you start to giggle. 

“You lose.” you say triumphant before grabbing your glass and sipping your coffee. 

“You cheated.” he shakes his head, grabbing his drink. 

“The only rule you said was no blinking. Don’t be such a sore loser, little almond.” he chuckles, raising his eyebrows at you. 

“Baby brother?” Gods that’s a voice he wasn’t expecting to hear. He watches your face soften as Helaena approaches your table. “What are you two doing?” she nibbles her lip with a knowing smile. 

“He begged to take me on a date.” you look up at his sister with a grin. “How could I say no to sweet baby almond?” you slide your eyes to Aemond and see him clench his jaw. 

“Moms gonna be mad you didn’t tell her you’re in town.” Helaena looks at him and he groans. 

“Don’t tell her.” he looks up at her with pleading eyes. 

“I won’t if you tell me how long this has been going on.” she gestures between us, chewing her lip to hide her smile. 

“A couple weeks. He’s terribly obsessed with me.” his eyes snap to you as you joke with his sister. 

“How could he not be?” she laughs. “Don’t fuck this up.” Helaena hisses at Aemond. “Okay well enjoy and I’ll text you somewhere nice to take her.” she tosses over her shoulder as she makes her way up to the counter to order her drink. 

“What did I say about ‘baby almond’?” he watches you try and fail to stifle your laughter. 

“I mean technically I said ‘sweet baby almond’.” he starts to tap his rings against the glass as he stares at you. You recline back into your chair as you look at him pouting.

“Aemond if you want to woo her you need to speak and not just stare at her like that.” Helaena approaches our table once more. He slides his eyes up to her, pursing his lips. 

“Everytime I try to talk to her she teases me.” he offers me a pointed look and Helaena and I giggle at the same time. 

“That means she likes you, loser.” Helaena whispers in his ear and pats his back. “Ugh you two are cute.” she sticks her finger in her mouth jokingly before she leaves the cafe. His phone dings and he pulls it out looking at what Helaena’s suggestion is. 

helaena: *sent directions* 

Aemond clicks it and groans at her stupidity. You  snatch the phone from him and bark out a laugh and he takes his phone back with red cheeks. You pull out your phone to message Helaena. 

you: Gods you should see him blushing at ‘Poundtown’ i literally have tears in my eyes buuut tmi? we’ve already been there 🫣🤭 

hel: i figured 😭 he was far too happy when he came back from picking up from you 🙄 

You look up and see Aemond frowning at you with red cheeks. He doesn’t want you to see him as just Helaena’s little brother that you occasionally fuck. You put your phone back in your pocket and reach for his hand across the table. He places his hand in yours and you wrap your other hand around it too. 

“I’m sorry.” you say softly and he scrunches his brows. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” he shakes his head feeling embarrassed for showing his feelings on his face so openly. 

“I am enjoying my time with you today.” his eyes search yours. “As much as I love you between my thighs, it’s nice to go out.” your words are so soft and the way you’re holding his hands has his heart beating faster.

“Any amount of time you spend with me I enjoy. No matter what we do.” its your turn to flush at his words.

“Careful baby almond. Your massive crush is showing.” he rolls his eyes, squeezing your hands tightly.

“You think you’re hiding yours any better?” he raises a brow. “You were the one begging last night and whining about how much you missed me.” he loves watching your cheeks redden at his words.

“You’re the one who drove to me in the middle of the night.” you watch his smile grow.

“You still haven’t thanked me. I come all the way down here just to hold you and make you come and what do I get? Relentless teasing.” you chew the inside of your cheek as you chuckle.

“Thank you for always being so desperate to get between my thighs.” you watch him flare his nostrils.

“Gods you’re being a brat today.” he shakes his head at you. 

“I am not.” you glare at him across the table.

“Oh, but you are.” he smiles watching your cheeks flush. You huff and rise from the table and start towards the door, smiling as you hear his chair scrape on the ground. You push open the door and start to walk down the sidewalk until he pulls you back against him. You look up at him with that pout that drives him crazy and he buries his fingers in your hair tilting your head up for him. He doesn’t know what’s gotten into you today. He’s ready to pull you down an alley and take you against the bricks. 

“I thought I was getting my sweet baby almond today, not pouting Aemond.” he watches your lips turn up and he tilts your head further up. 

“Yet all you’ve done today is tease me.” you bite your lip at his tone. 

“No.” you try to shake your head but his fingers won’t give. You look up at him waiting for him to do something. You want to see if that authoritative tone earlier was just a show or if he would back it up. You figured teasing him relentlessly was the best route, you’ll either be on your knees apologizing with your mouth or over his knees like he said. “Baby almond.” you coo.

“Let’s go.” his hand leaves your hair and wraps around your wrist pulling you. You pull him back and he turns with a glare. “Walk to the car or I’ll drag you.” his voice low. 

“I don’t believe you.” you purse your lips and he chuckles. His grip tightens and he starts to pull you to the car. You see his jaw flex as he starts to pull you faster. He pulls the door open for you and looks at you expectantly. 

“Get in the car.” you take your seat and he has the door clicked shut a second later. 

“Where are you taking me now, almond?” you turn to him with a smile. 

“Home.” his tone excites you. 

“Why?” you whine and he slides his eyes to you turning on the car. 

He shakes his head and pulls the car onto the road. You take his hand and he can’t stop the small smile on his face as you twist his rings. A low groan comes from his lips as you take one of his fingers into your mouth. You brush your tongue against the digit and Aemonds breathing deepens. He pulls his finger from your mouth and pats his hand on your thigh leaving it there. The rest of the ride is silent building promises of what’s to come. 

“Is anyone home?” he turns to you when he pulls in the driveway. 

You shake your head and he gets out of the car and is pulling you out of your side quickly. You unlock the door and he ushers you inside and is dragging you up the stairs. Once in your room he tugs you over the bed and your heart races in anticipation. He sits down and looks up at you with a smirk. 

“Take off your clothes.” your breath catches at his words. He nods at you, raising an eyebrow. You slowly peel off each layer and he leans back and watches you. He can not wait to absolutely ruin you once you're in his arms. He holds his hand out for you to come to him and you slowly walk to stand in front of him. “Gods look at you.” he hums, sliding his hands from your waist down to your hips. He brings one of his hands down hard on your ass and watches you bite your lip and scoot closer to him. He repeats the action with his other hand and you let out a small whimper. 

“Please,” his eyes darken and he guides you over his knees. You squeeze your legs shut and he chuckles trailing a finger up your slit. He smiles as his finger slides through your dripping center while you squirm beneath him. His other hand comes down on your cheek as he slips his finger into your core. “Aemond,” you whine as he starts to pump his finger. 

“Hm?” he brings his hand down again on your cheek as he slips a second finger in. He watches your legs curl up as he starts to slam his fingers into you. He spanks each of your cheeks again and the sweetest sounds he’s ever heard fall from your lips. Aemond listens to the sounds you make to be sure you’re still enjoying yourself even though he can feel your squeezing his fingers tightly. The sounds of your pleas and wetness cause his cock to throb and he pulls his fingers out needing to have you right now. 

“No, please,” you grab for his arm and he chuckles at your desperation. “I’ll be good.” you whine and he groans at your words before lifting you up. 

“I know you will.” he pushes you onto the bed and you lift your ass into the air for him. 

He pulls his clothes off and he watches you spread your legs wider for him. He brings your hips to him and he swirls his tip around your wetness. He pushes in slowly clenching his teeth at the feel of you wrapping around him. You grip the sheets as he starts to snap his hips into yours. When his hand lands on your cheek you fall apart around him moaning loudly. 

“Fuck.” Aemonds fingers dig into your hips continuing to push into you. 

His pleasure builds at your small whimpers and gasps that fill the room along with the sounds of your wetness. You push your hips back into his and he lands his hands onto your ass again. His hips falter as you pulse around him whining his name. His fingers dig into you as his high washes through him. He collapses on the bed next to you and you move to lay against his chest. 

“So you’re done pouting now?” your taunt comes out breathy. He flips you over and you look up at him nibbling your lip as he hovers above you with dark eyes. 

“You’re not done with your attitude.” you squeak when his fingers slip back into you. When his thumb swipes across your bud you tremble. You arch up into him and he chuckles leaning down above your lips. You reach up and he pulls his head back watching you pout. He curls his fingers watching your face scrunch with pleasure the faster he moves.

“Aemond, please,” you gasp, holding onto his arm. “Please,” the word goes straight to his cock once more. He chuckles as your pleasure coats his fingers and pours out of you while you cling against him. He pulls his fingers out and slams into you and your breath catches in your throat. “Yes, Aem,” your eyes roll back as he hammers into you. 

“Fucking perfect.” he grunts and you claw into his back when his fingers circle your sensitive bud. A loud cry falls from your lips as your pleasure explodes through you. Your toes curl as he slams into you while spilling his pleasure into you. He rests his forehead on yours as you both pant. “Anything more to say?” you shake your head clinging against him. 

“Please,” you pull him down to your lips. He slowly presses his lips to yours and when his tongue slips into your mouth you sigh. He rolls you both over and has you rest against his chest as his fingers caress your skin. You whimper into his mouth at his soft touch and he kisses down your neck. 

“I’m gonna take you dinner tomorrow. You’ll be nice and you won’t call me almond.” he sucks softly on your neck and you nod holding onto him tightly.

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Today Aemond has seen how much you’ll allow him to get away with. Everytime you nod your head at a suggestion his heart races. You didn’t even protest when he picked out your shortest, flirest dress for you to wear. You simply smiled and paired it with long socks that made his eyes darken. Not even when he pushed his fingers into your panties on the way to the restaurant, you just put them in your mouth after you came all over them. 

“Fuck your like a perfect little doll today.” he groans watching you clean his fingers as you both sit parked outside of the restaurant. 

“After the way you fucked me yesterday you can have anything, Aem.” you bat your lashes at him and he groans. He gets out of the car and goes to your door and offers you his hand. He leads you into the dim restaurant and you lean against him as you wait to be led to the table. 

“Are your cheeks still sore?” he dips down and whispers in your ear. 

You gasp as his hand squeezes against your ass before wrapping around your waist. You look up at him with pleading eyes and he leans down to press his lips to yours. He chuckles at your pout as he pulls back. You’re both led to a table and he pulls out your chair for you. He sits across from you and you smile looking at his relaxed features. 

“You are so handsome, Aemond.” you reach your hand out for his. You haven’t called him almond all day and he refuses to admit he misses it the smallest amount. “So cute when you blush.” he grabs your hand and brings it to his mouth. “I wish you didn’t have to leave in the morning.” your soft words surprise him. 

“I don’t want to leave either.” he rubs his thumb across your hand. “I’ll be home in a couple weeks.” your frown causes his chest to tighten. 

“I know. I’m just going to miss you.” you don’t care how needy you sound. “I know we’ll call and stuff but,” your frown deepens. 

“I mean there’s no reason we can just switch driving to each other every weekend.” he nibbles on his lip. “It’s not that far. Unless that’s too much and- 

“I would like that.” you nod your head quickly. “A lot.” you can’t help the smile that spreads across your face. 

“So you’ll come up next weekend?” he searches your eyes. 

“I’ll be there on Friday when you get out of class.” you squeeze his hand. 

“As my girlfriend?” he knows there’s a flush on his face as he waits for your answer. 

“Or your perfect doll.” you offer him a playful smile. 

“Both?” his eyes darken. 

“I suppose I could do that for my boyfriend.” you watch a smile spread across his face. 

The waitress takes your orders and you spend the next couple of hours in a sweet bliss enjoying each other's company. When you get home you push him back onto your bed and roll at your desk. He watches you walk back to him and he just wants to lay you out in the bed and devour you. 

“Here.” you crawl into bed with him and lean against him. He lights the blunt and passes it to you. Your eyes become lidded as you both smoke and you start to look at him with such intense need. “Finish it.” you hum and slide down his body to settle between his legs. He looks at you with flushed cheeks as you start to unbutton his pants. 

He groans as you wrap your fingers around him and free him from his pants. You suck his tip into his mouth and watch his chest heave. He brings the blunt to his mouth and watches you lower your mouth. He sighs feeling your soft lips wrap around him and he curses as you hollow your cheeks. You look up at him and he groans, putting the blunt in the ashtray. 

“You’re fucking perfect.” Aemond rasps down to you.  You start to bob your head faster and he tosses his head back. His hips jerk and you follow his movements and his fingers tangle in your hair. With the way you’re looking at him his stomach starts to tighten as you bob faster. You bring him to the back of your throat and he groans, pulling your hair as his pleasure flows into your mouth. You hum around him swallowing his pleasure as soft moans fall from his mouth. You slowly pull your mouth off of him watching his face twist with pleasure. 

“Come up here.” you slowly crawl back up the bed and he smashes his lips to yours. He pulls your dress up and rubs his fingers across your soaked panties. “Lay back on the bed.” he smiles against your lips. He pushes the sleeves down your arms and tugs the dress down to expose your chest. His lips attach to one of your nipples and he quickly flicks his tongue across it. He takes the peak between his teeth and chuckles as you squirm beneath him. His other hand is between your thighs teasing you above your panties. 

“Aemond please,” your hips chase his hand. He listens to your soft pleases as he licks across your chest to your other nipple before swirling around it with his tongue. He smiles feeling your panties getting wetter as he teases you. He harshly sucks your peak into his mouth and you whimper above him. He rises and leaves your chest glistening before he slides down your body. He presses his lips against your panties watching your thighs shake beside his head. 

He flicks his tongue against your covered bud and your chest heaves. You grind against his face and he chuckles and slides his tongue down to your core. He pulls back and looks down at you. Your pouted lips are parted and your cheeks are flushed. His eyes slide to your chest and your hardened nipples that he wants to put between his teeth again just so he can hear those soft cries. He then looks at your panties that are soaked just for him. 

“Touch me, please.” his eyes snap up to yours at your plea. “Please, Aem,” you’re begging for him. You, his girlfriend. His head spins and he pulls off your panties. He throws your legs over his shoulders as his mouth attaches to your core. He groans being greeted by your dripping center. “Yes,” you cry arching off the bed. His hands push your dress up more to dig into your waist. You fall apart as his tongue lashes against you. He slowly pulls back watching the pleasure still course through your body. 

He brings his lips to yours and you hold him against you. He pulls back to tug his clothes off and helps you do the same. He lays back into bed and pulls the blankets over you both as you cling to him. He smiles to himself that you didn’t call him almond all day and now you’re officially his girlfriend who’s curled against him. 

                                         ᓚᘏᗢ

You sit in bed with a frown as you watch Aemond pack his bag. He walks over to you with a shirt and slips it over your head before bending down and pressing his lips to yours. You try to pull him back into bed but he pulls you out of it. You purse your lips walking over to your dresser to grab a pair of sweats. 

“My roommate wants to pick up.” Aemond hums walking over to you. You hand him a couple baggies and he sends you the money. You hand him an extra baggie for himself regardless of his protests. “You don’t have to.” he stuffs them into his bag. 

“I want to, almond.” his head snaps to you and sees your smirk. 

“Don’t start this right as I’m about to leave.” he flares his nostrils as he slings his bag over his shoulder. 

“Start what?” you tilt your head. He shakes his head and your hand slips into his as you lead him downstairs and out to his car. He pulls you against him and presses his lips to yours. 

“I will see you on Friday.” he murmurs against your mouth. 

“Please drive safe and text me when you get there.” you press your lips to his once more. He gets in his car and you watch him as he backs out of the driveway. 

ততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততত

masterlist 🔌 

me vs saying two more parts again bc i already started pt4 and it won’t be the last chap that’s fs

Part 4

ur fav flav taglist: @echos-muses @sinistersnakey @uwuuness

taglist ✍️ 

@clarityisnofun @gabriella-aesthetic @callsignwidow @llynx7 @violetiss3lfish @ka1afbr @akiko-oo @papichulo120627 @lizzylovebooks280501 @thatgirl101blog @1-fuzzy-squirrels @arya-brooke @ashovertheriver @zanygot7straykidsbonk @moonymoo1 @malfoycassimalfoy @april-notthemonth69 @anaviieiraaa @p45510n4f4shi0n @neocockthotology @thereaderwitch @hardkiddonut @faenyra @hiimava11 @daintylittlesunflower @primroseluna @fiction-fanfic-reader @povofjustme @multilover19 @alexxavicry @cedstars @fuckalrighty @mrsmunson-harrington @misspendragonsworld @nz2004 @ninihrtss

[schrodingers-romy]

You Don’t Gotta Hold Me Down, Baby (I Know How to Sink) [Shidou Ryusei x Reader]

Pairing: Shidou Ryusei x GN!Reader Word Count: ~1800 [Ao3 Link]

Summary: Ryusei is used to feeling empty at the end of the day; at least, until he has you.

Warnings: crying, some light depression i think from shidou, kisses, reader and ryusei are both lonely and weird idk what to tell you, no gendered pronouns/terms used for reader, gratuitous petnames, some innuendo but nothing sexual/heated happens

Notes: I read in the character book line where he 'cries at the end of the day when he becomes nothing' and I haven't stopped thinking about it. I sincerely hope it's in character but idk. I love him anyways tho and I had fun writing this <3 Title is a lyric from RELAX AFTER WORK WITH A DRINK by Lilyisthatyou.

At the end of the day, Shidou Ryusei becomes nothing.

During the day, lit by the radiance of the sun, he was something. He was in control of his own destiny, a daredevil chasing the high of the next explosion. Whether that explosion came from kicking a soccer ball or kicking some slime’s face in was irrelevant; it was the rush of endorphins it gave him that was important. He was in peak form, the predator at the top of the food chain, devouring the opportunities the world had gifted him, glutting himself on whatever adrenaline high presented itself. But it never lasted; the explosive energy he had faded to nothing at the end of the day, pleasure slipping through his fingers like smoke in the wind, escaping him with the escaping daylight. After sunset, he was left empty, void of any sort of vitality; like a combustion engine with no fuel to light, he was left stiff, and cold, and useless. Forgotten.

He didn't even bother trying to stay up much past sunset, most days. Even with the sun’s lingering warmth rising from the earth during the night, it was always too cold for him, without the light shining on him. He was a photosynthetic organism, relying on sunlight to create his own sustenance in the form of his explosions.

Ryusei liked to think that the faster he went to sleep, the faster he would see the sun again.

It even worked, sometimes.

But sometimes it didn't. Sometimes he lay there for hours, too tired to do anything, and too tired to sleep. It was a bone-deep exhaustion, one that made his joints ache dully, and his eyes stay stuck open, as tears dripped freely down from them onto the thin and faded material of his pillowcase. Those nights, he desperately waited for the sun to return, so he could come back to life. So he could go back to seeking some way to make himself feel. And maybe he would be lucky enough to somehow make his mark on the world, so he would no longer fade from it every night like a mirage.

But he hadn’t made a mark on the world yet. He had yet to make something of himself.

So, at night, Shidou Ryusei would cry as he became nothing.

-

You were both a particular brand of lonely.

Something in the both of you had noticed each other; like calling to like. You were too close for people who had known each other for such a short period of time; it would be concerning, if either of you cared. But you didn’t, so you spent your days attached at the hip. Gorging yourselves on the attention of the other, desperate creatures starved for the acknowledgement and understanding that you had only ever found in each other.

It wasn’t an understanding borne of explicit conversation; the two of you had discussed almost everything under the sun and moon, but you both excelled at skirting the razor’s edge of baring your issues fully. Whether it was because neither of you understood your own mind yourself, or because some sort of animal instinct in you just understood each other without having to spill the gore of your worst feelings, it was unclear. It didn’t really matter, anyways. You were two sides of the same corroded coin, two pieces of a defective puzzle that could only ever fit together.

-

It was past midnight, and you were exhausted. The noise from the television was nothing more than the canned background hum to Ryusei's presence. The true focus of the scene was his flickering gaze and the hot press of his thighs against yours. You were sitting so close you could nearly count every single one of his numerous blond lashes. The shadows they cast on his cheeks were hypnotizing to you, and you found yourself leaning into him, with a combination of your own sleepiness and the dizzy, floaty sensation you always felt when you were this close to him casting you off balance. You could not help yourself from leaning further in, until you were falling into him. Your cheek landed pressed onto the warmth of his exposed collarbone, where his oversized shirt collar had slipped down to reveal tanned skin. You let out a heavy sigh, nuzzling into him, as he wrapped his arms around you to pull you ever closer to his heated body.

“Tired, babes?” he asked, the uncharacteristic deep, slow tone to his voice betraying his own sleepiness.  

“Mhmm hmm,” you mumbled. “Too tired to go home. I’m staying here tonight.”

With anyone else, you wouldn’t have been so bold as to invite yourself to stay the night for the first time. But everything was different with Ryusei. You could be as bold as you wanted, take what you wanted, without fear of ridicule or rejection or anger. He would just give you a particular feral grin, when you asserted yourself, that made you feel confident and on top of the world.

It’s only because you’re so close that you felt the slight hitch in his breath. He covered it nearly seamlessly with his usual attitude. “Of course! I’d love to have you spend the night with me, sexy~”

You nipped lightly at his collar bone, chastising. “Just sleeping, Ryu, no innuendo intended.”

“Aww, how can you say that, after putting your teeth on me,” he whined, teasing. “You know that gets me going, sugar…”

“I want you to get going. To sleep,” you retorted. “I’m tiredddd.” You let your voice trail into a childish whine.

“Can’t have that, can we?” Ryusei shifted, sliding one arm underneath your thighs and one behind your back to lift you up into a bridal carry. “Do I have Your Highness’s permission to take you to bed? I promise not to have my wicked way with you there. Knight’s honor.”

“Ah, why would I not trust my most loyal knight? Take me away, good sir.”

Ryusei grinned wide enough to show gums, before carrying you out of the living room with surprising gentleness.

(Though it wasn’t entirely surprising, to you.)

-

The room was dark, aside from the weak, silvered light of the moon and stars that leaked from Ryusei’s uncovered window. It was just bright enough for you to see the faintest details of his face.

He looked softer, hair down, kohl washed away, venomous pink eyes half-lidded; a sort of physical representation of how he bared himself to you. You were compelled to pull him closer to you, until you could bury your face into his product-free hair. You let out a contented hum at feeling the abnormal silkiness of it.

You were so comfortable; you felt like you were melting into the mattress. It had been forever since you had gone to sleep feeling so relaxed (and safe, and not alone); you couldn’t be blamed for nearly drifting off the second you laid down with Ryusei in your arms.

You were almost gone, slipping into dreamland by the pull of the gentle hands of Morpheus, when you felt Ryusei begin to tremble in your arms.

It was like a switch had been flipped, removing sleep from the edges of your mind like the swipe of an eraser on a chalkboard. You were immediately focused on him.

“Ryusei? Are you okay?” you whispered, a sliver of panic slipping into your voice.

You could feel him shaking slightly in your hold, arms wrapped in a vice grip around you, face pressed tightly into your neck, hiding his expression from you. You felt a drip of wetness fall onto your skin and slip down.

He was crying.

“Baby,” you murmured, hugging his lax body even closer to yours, like you could tuck him away into your ribcage, safe and sound. “Ryu, darling, what’s wrong?” You felt off-balance, perhaps for the first time since you had met. Your understanding did not extend to this, not when he had so carefully pirouetted around any true pain he felt when you talked.

He gripped you tighter for a moment, fingers digging into your skin hard enough to leave bruises, before he relaxed his hold. “Nothin’s wrong.” He lifted his head to look at you.

The tear trails on his face were lit up like liquid drips of mercury in the moonlight. But he didn’t look devastated, as you expected; instead, he had the smallest, softest smile you had ever seen him wear. Even in the half-light, his gaze was soaked in so much affection, he looked love-drunk. It rendered you speechless.

“Y’know,” he laughed wetly, “I usually cry, at night. When I become nothing.” He took a deep, shuddering breath.

You lifted one hand to his face, wiping away the fresh flow of tears that leaked from his glittering eyes. Your eyebrows were creased, a pang going through your heart at his words.

But he wasn’t done, pausing only to nuzzle his cheek further into your hand, like a housecat. “Still cryin’, tonight, but I’m not sad. Y’see babes? I’m not sad. I don’t feel like nothing, I feel happy. Happy tears, sweetheart, just cause tonight I’m with you.” He giggled, hiccupping slightly as his laughter caught on the tears still welling up.

You gaped at Ryusei for a moment, before you yanked him into a kiss. It wasn’t the best kiss ever, still wet with his tears, barely more than a firm press of mouths together before you release him.

He grinned at you for a moment, before dropping back down onto you, boneless. “I feel drunk. Like I’m high. Crossfaded. On you, babe!~” he blabbered, sing-song. “It’s not an explosion, it’s a bonfire inside of me! Shit, this might be better than playing. Or fighting. I might even be a little horny right now, I can’t tell.”

“God, you’re so weird, Ryu.” You punctuated your statement with a firm kiss to his forehead, making an exaggerated ‘mwah’ sound that drew a giggle from the man on top of you. “I love you. I’m gonna be with you forever. I’ll move in, and we’ll sleep together every night, you’ll never feel like nothing again.”

“Maybe I AM horny…horny off of love…emotionally horny?” he rambled. “Fuck, I don’t know, babe, but I love you too, and I’m never gonna let your pretty ass go now, y’hear?”

“Perfect. We’ll become one organism. Symbiosis. Like lichen,” you breathed.

Ryusei let out a lovesick sigh. “Love it when you talk sexy to me.”

You felt one of his hands drift down to squeeze one of your ass cheeks.

You let out an exasperated, but fond sigh. “Ryusei. Go to sleep.”

“Okay honey~” he said, letting out a little giggle into your collarbone.

(And for the first time in years, neither of you fell asleep feeling empty, or lonely; and you would wake up to find joy in the sunrise together.)

[yuyu1024]

Escape

Pairings: Yoongi × y/n

Genre/tags: Arranged marriage

Warning: 🔞🔞 smut/angst, mention of food/eating, cursing, sensual touching, making out, needy/clingy, Pet name, lies, kink, unprotected sex, Smoking, jealousy, insecurity, mention of weight&food/eating, oral (m/f receiving), mention of blood/violence

~~~~[lmk if i miss anything]

Words: 5.8k

Disclaimer:

- this story is just made up

- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊

Note: continuation of Prisoner.

I hope this is a good part 2. 🙏🏻 took me a while coz idk if i should or not. 😅 sorry guys.

(This may continue a bit more...? But please be patient 🙏🏻 as I do have work & usually I try to write before i sleep but lately i've beeen so tired and drained that I cant even function 😅)

***

Another day, another event to go to. You are wearing your best 'pretend' smile. The smile you have practiced for months, to be your default expression whenever you meet anyone in any formal event. It's not that your trying to be fake. You just want to represent your husband the best that you can. And being a shy person, this is what you can do to help yourself.

Although, you wish, that even just one time, Yoongi would show up to these events with you.

At the first month of your marriage, he did. He did that to introduce you to everybody. You could still remember how you two were holding hands and always together. Those were the days when you have spent so much time with him.

But... Now, it's just always you. Alone. Amongst everyone in the whole place, you are the only one who always arrives with no partner.

"Excuse me?"

You twirl around and find the prettiest girl you think you have ever seen in your life. She looks like a goddess.

"Ahm, yes?" Your voice sounded so weak. You haven't said a word in the last hour.

"You are the only one wearing a corsage with a hint of lilac flowers in it... I'm guessing... you are Yoongi's wife?" She asks

"Ah, yes. I am." You look down at the flower pinned on your chest

She's smiling at you. She looks sort of happy to see you. "Finally... I've met you."

You haven't said a word. You are not sure how to approach this. You have no idea who she is and why is she approaching you. Plus, You are sort of intimidated by her. She is a beautiful, a sophisticated woman. She have this energy from her that says she is different than anyone else. You could feel your difference with her. Though you are covered with all highend brands of clothing and accessories. You can still see it.

"Oh, sorry... if I'm invading your personal time..." she says, "I am a friend of Yoongi... well... an old friend... from University" she explains. "Sarang."

"Oh." You smile and bow. "Hello, nice to meet you. I'm Y/N... I'm sorry... I've not met any of his friends yet so...I didn't know..."

"It's fine. I understand."

She looks like she came from a regal family, the same level as Yoongi. Also, her beauty.... takes your breathe away. She remind you of how you reacted the first time you saw Yoongi. In awe.

"Thank you for coming here also..." she says as she walks you around the gallery. "I hope you find something to your liking here that... would be a part of your home or either a gift to anyone you love."

As you two talk more, you learned that she's the one that threw this charity event. She gathered all these arts from known artists, to auction. She says that 100% of the earnings from it will go to the children's hospital that she have been donating ever since.

You have just met her and you are already at amazed by her. Not by just her prominent looks but also the way she talks and speaks her mind is very inspiring and uplifting. Because of her words you find it easy buying two items in the collection. You know all of the money will go and be used for something good.

You chose the items, the two that caught your attention the moment you entered the gallery. Both are paintings of a beautiful flowerfield which reminds you of your past. The field where you would always go with your friends and have picnic during summer break.

Such beautiful memory that you wish you could've not taken for granted. You wish you could re-live those moments again. And the paintings, those paintings you chose might go well in your own study room.

"It's nice meeting you..." she says, cutting you from reminiscencing your past

"Thank you too for inviting us.. though... my husband couldn't come..."

She smiles, lips pressed together. "He hasn't changed at all. Not very social and just focused on just working..."

Hmm.. The way she talks, the way she describes your husband is very detailed. She seem to know him pretty well. 'They are friends' you say to yourself but then at the back of your mind, a thought, just a tiny thought about him and her, is peaking through.

'Is she an ex of his?'

'If not an ex... probably... someone who liked him?'

I know, this is no place nor time to think about these but you can't help it.

Look at her and then you look at yourself. You two are totally opposites. From status to looks. And probably from personaly to intelligence. She is more than you. She is perfect. You think that he and Yoongi might or will get along more than you and him.

"Ahm... I ahm..." you start to feel uncomfortable with all of your self pity thoughts. You need to get a hold of yourself. "Sorry... I'll... I'll just go to the bar and have some drink..." you say as you clutch on to your dress.

"Oh. Okay." Sarang says. "You want me to accompany you...?"

You shake your head, "No... thank you... don't mind me... please go ahead and tour the rest of the guest." You say pointing at the newly arrived guests.

You turn around immediately before she could response again.

This is weird. You're not sure why you suddenly have the urge to drink. Even though you don't drink. Also because, you can't. Literally, can't.

You only drink red wine when you are offered to drink, by Yoongi of course. It's only when he asks you to join him during nights when he needs company or if you two are to discuss things about the family.

You don't drink also because you are a lightweight. You get tipsy and red easily. One time when you had more than three glasses of red with your husband, you instantly changed personality. You have no idea how and what changed besides the stories that your maid said the day after which were embarassing.

You have no recollection of anything besides the fact that you were on the sofa, inside Yoongi's home office, butt naked and only have Yoongi's blazer on you.

"Mrs. Min, what can I get you?" The cute guy behind the bar asks as you reach your destination.

"How... do you know who I am?"

He smiles, "We had the lists of the guests coming tonight... with photos." He pours water into a glass

"With details...? who can and cannot drink... I suppose?"

He nods. "Your husband noted... to not serve any alcohol to you Miss."

"Even... I want to? Or... pay?"

"I'm sorry Miss..." he says, "If you like we can offer you our non-alcohol champagne?"

You sigh heavily. You badly want to drink. Even just one glass to calm yourself. But...you can't. Yoongi have rules and you cannot avoid and disobey them.

He does give you the freedom to do whatever you want but when it comes to what not to do or what he likes, he have a handful.

1. Don't cut your hair short

2. Don't drink when he's not present nor ordered by him

3. Don't leave the house without atleast one body guard

4. Don't wear perfume (he gets dizzy)

5. Use the safeword during sex

And etc.

The rules are quite simple. Nothing to weird nor to hard to follow. It's just you compromising. And also, you do have a hard time saying no to Him.

"Thanks." You mumble, sighing as you take the glass of water and walk away from the bar.

After figuring out you can't drink to calm yourself, you decide to just go somewhere outside, away from the crowd and peaceful to get fresh air. Lucky you, you found an exit that leads you to the garden.

As time have gone by, you're not sure how long have you been there, staring at the fountain, the flowers and even starring down at your feet every now and then. You thought being out here will leave your head empty. Not worrying about anything. But then you'd catch yourself pouting and comparing yourself to all the ladies you have seen in the event, especially the last person you have talked to.

Your self pity and low self-esteem is thriving today than usual. Is it the lack of sleep? Or because of the one guy from earlier giving you a judging look that made you regret wearing the dress you picked? What happened?

These thoughts are not very helpful. Especially lately, well probably more on daily basis, you do wonder why Yoongi chose you. To marry.

They've said, more particularly his parents said, that he didn't like the ones they suggested for him; so he decided to pick you. To marry you instead of those women who is on the same level as him or close to his family's wealth.

Odd isn't it? Why would someone like him, an elite bachelor, pick a girl from a lower class family to marry? What did he see in you? What made him randomly pick you? You are not special, inexperience about life and not alluring as the other girls in his world. What did he saw? How did he even saw you? You were sure you two never met before. So did he hire someone to find a daughter from a poor family or what?

Instead of clearing your mind, you suddenly had these outburst of questions.

"What are you doing here?"

Your eyes widens after hearing a familiar voice. You didn't dare to speak. You just slowly turn your upper body around to see him, walking slowly towards you.

He's wearing a tuxedo. His hair is slightly slicked back and his scar. His beautiful scar. It's him.

You can't believe what you are seeing. He's really here. Why? He's been away for a week because of work and when did he came back?

"Y-yoongi..." you mumble, standing up

"I asked you..." he says as he stands right in front of you. Then you see his eyes darts down at your glass of water, sitting beside you. "Your bodyguard said... you asked for a drink." He looks back at you, his expression is so serious.

"I ahm... sorry..." you lower your gaze.

"You know... you can't drink."

"I'm sorry..." you whisper softly

"Let her have fun." A woman's voice says. "She just wants to have a glass of wine. It won't hurt."

Slowly raising your eyes, you see her, Sarang, standing from afar from you and Yoongi.

Her stance at this moment is unidentical to her persona earlier. It feels like she is a completely different person, though her appearance is the same. Something shifted.

"She did an amazing job.. representing you earlier." She adds

Your eyes then goes to Yoongi. You want to see his reaction to the angelic woman speaking. You are curious. No one talks to him directly like that, blunt and straight forward, even you.

Sarang is brave to talk casually to him.

"Ready the car..." Yoongi finally speaks after a monent of silence. Ordering one of his men to move.

That was it?

"I'll return the items. Keep the money. I don't care." He says while he's looking at you, straight into your eyes. Though you know, even his eyes are on you, he's not actually speaking to you.

"Yoongi le---" she tries to speak again but he didn't allowed it.

Yoongi just slightly turned his head to give her a side eye. He is not pleased. "My wife and I are leaving..." and then takes your hand to hold onto. "Let's go home..." he says that only you can hear.

"Ahm...ahh... okay." You say, lost by the sudden fierceness from him

***

"Get in." He orders you

Carefully climbing in the car, you move to the other side making sure there is a space betweem you two.

"Home please." Yoongi says to his driver as he shuts the door.

"Sir." The man answers, nodding and then pushes a button that closes the opening between the driver to the passenger seat of the car.

We are now isolated.

He looks so tired. Looks like he just came back and went straight to event to pick you up.

"I have my driver with me... you could've rested at home." You say

He sighs and closes his eyes. "I'm fine."

Did he purposely pick you up because he wants to see you? Did he missed you while he was away for a week?

Your mind is filled with questions and curiosity but you cannot dream of these questions to be real. You have to remember, he just married you because he have no other choice. There is no love in between you two. You are married by paper only that is worth a lot of money. Everything you are doing for him is to repay all of his kindness to you and your family.

This is all just a fantasy. A beautiful fantasy.

"Come closer..." he softly says. His eyes are still shut but his arm is arching, gesturing for me to take place in then. "Y/n..." he opens his eyes, calling my name. You scoot over his side. He immediately puts his arm around you, making sure you are close. "You're shaking..." he utters as he goes back to closing his eyes, resting his head back. "You're almost naked with that dress of yours..."

"Sorry..." you say looking down at your knotted fingers. "I thought it will look good....that's why I wore it."

He sighs. "You do look good..." then he shifts in his position and makes sure you're looking back at him. Then he starts leans in, to kiss you.

"Wait..."

He pauses, confused by your reaction. You have never denied his kiss before.

"I'm sorry..."

"What for?" He asks

"Well..." you look to the front, where the driver is. "Do we just kiss or..." you whisper

Yoongi didn't expect your question which made him smile. "It depends." He is looking straight into your eyes, your face are just inches away.

"He might hear us..." you whisper

"I don't fucking care." He moves forward and finally catches your lips.

***

After travelling for almost half an hour, you finally reach home.

"Welcome home, Miss..." The maid greets the second you slide out of the car. she then sees Yoongi, coming out from the other side of the car. "Master!" She bows again. "Welcome..."

They are suprised to see him. They didn't expect him to arrive with you. Looks like none of them knew he went to pick you up.

"Do we have anything to eat?" You softly ask the maid, then you realized that it's already late and that they have to rest too. "Oh... Sorry... never mind... you may go and rest." You give her a faint smile.

Then slowly walking towards the elevator, you could see your husband's reflection through the glass doors. He is busy already with his phone.

"Y/n..."

You glance up, peaking through the reflection. He is walking towards you. So you wirl around and waited for him to stand in front of you.

"Ask your assistant to remove all charities or event under the Lee's tomorrow. Even parties." He says as he undo his bow tie. "And... to not accept any invitation from them...again"

"Why?"

He didn't answer. No answer means he's serious.

"Okay..." You just answer before turning your back at him again.

Thinking about what you are in his world is heart breaking in a way. You are nothing but someone he owns. You just go with the flow of his world.

Yes you do had an idea what you've signed up for but its still shocking nonetheless how everything is unfolding and is doing.

"Aren't you getting in?"

You look up and see that he is in the elevator already, waiting.

"S-sorry..." you say before entering. You try your best to not make eye contact with him.

After both of you settled in, the maid follows and taps on level 3. That is where both your rooms are.

Oddly, Yoongi taps on the Upper ground after her. "Can you please cook something light before you leave? My wife needs to eat." He orders

"Yes, Master." She answers just in time when the elevator stops on UG.

"We'll both be down after we shower and get rested a bit."

"Understood, Master." She exists the elevator, bows and immediately walks off.

'My wife'. It is the second time he said that today. He never says that.

"Don't skip meals." He mumbles as the door closes

You didn't answer. You didn't mean to skip a meal or two today. And maybe a few days before too. You were nervous. One main reason is the dress you're wearing right now is very revealing. A satin black backless maxi dress. You wanted be perfect in the dress thats why, even though you know it's not achievable.

*pings*

The elevator door opens on level 3. You step out and about to turn to your wing when you hear him call your name again.

"Where are you going?" He asks

"T-to my room..." you sound so weak, "To shower..."

"Shower here." He says, suggesting the shower in his wing. Meaning in his room. Meaning his bathroom.

"Hmm?" You are lost in translation. Why is he asking you to shower there all of a sudden.

"To my room." And then he undo the first two buttons of his shirt.

"W-what? Why?"

He didn't say another word. He just continued to walk off towards his room leaving you.

"W-wait..." You take two steps forward but then stops.

"Y/N...." you hear the heels of his shoes stop hitting the marbled floor. His back is facing you. "I said, shower here. I didn't ask you to decide." he then turns around and you see his white top basically open now. "Will you go and shower with me or do you want me to peel that dress off you and carry you to my room?"

Flusttered by his remark, you just released an unsolicited shaky breathing. "Ahm... yes... I'm... I'm coming..."

***

[Flashback to Yoongi's side]

(Earlier... as soon as Yoongi arrived at the charity event)

Some of the people in the event went silent for a few seconds the moment they saw you enter the building. They all didn't expect you to show up since your wife was already present. But of course, they still greeted you with a smile and tried to make small talks. They want to be on your good side. They know what you are capable off. What power you hold in this world.

However, you don't care about these fuckers. You dropped by because you received a call from your wife's bodyguard that Y/N is not looking okay.

"Where is she?" You ask the man standing behind you.

"She just left the bar, Sir. And went out to the garden." He reply.

"I see."

One step, you just took one step and somebody already stands in your way to your wife.

"Look who's here."

"Sarang." You say her name, bitterly. You are not expecting her to be here.

"You have been ignoring my invites for quite some time now... I thought, helping others is one of your goals in life that's why you work 24/7?"

"I thought this event was by the Lee's?" You hiss at your male assistant.

"It is, Sir. By--"

"Lee Do-Hyun..." she cuts off the assistant. "My husband..." she proudly says. "Aww.. That kind a... hurts my feelings...that... you have no idea I got married..."

"I don't keep tab on people who's not important to me."

She scoffs but she sounded a bit insulted and her ego got hurt. But she's good at pretending that it didn't bothered her. "You say that now...but a few years ago... I was your muse..." she tries to move closer to you but your body guards stands in between quickly.

"Was." You look away from her and try to search for your wife through the window not far away from where you stand. "My mistake for socializing to a liar, back stabbing... leech like you." You say, then giving her a side eye. "I wish your husband good fortune... or that he loves spoiling you... or esle... he'll found out his wife's true color..."

You're about to walk away, again, but this bitch still wants to talk to you.

"You think... she'll not get tired of you? Of you controlling her? Especially getting married with you... with no love at all?" She snorts a laugh again. "Or maybe... she will not..." she mumbles under her breathe, "Now... It figures... why you picked someone from a low class family... someone with no choice but to stay with you because her family needs your money. I see..." she laughs again, "poor girl... if I were her, I would milk you all of your money so it will be worth it... after all she married a controlling, dominant, and a freaky person like you."

You know Y/N is not like her. She is a nice person. She's not into money like this bitch is. However, you do think about how Y/N thinks about you and her marriage to you.

You admit that you are very controlling when it comes to her. It is one of your negative trait that you cannot put away. It comes natural with you because of the life you have been brought up and your business. You want things to happen in your way and you are also possessive. You do try to controll it when it comes to her but you are not sure if you are doing it right.

Well how could you know, you never talk about it. Even with your wife. You never asked about her feelings and opinions.

"Watch your mouth." You mumble. "You might think you know me from the years we've been together. But you haven't seen half of what I can and would do... if anyone picks a fight with me.." you glare at her. "Consider this a warning."

[End of flashback from Yoongi's side]

*************

"Miss..."

Slowly opening your eyes, your eyes carefully adjusted to the light. You could see the ray of sunshine peaking through your dark thick curtains.

"Miss..."

You turn your head to the side and see your maid bowing.

"It's noon Miss..."

"Oh."

It has been a quite a few days now, since you start waking up this late. You are usually up early. You are a morning person. You also do jogs or walks around the property and sometimes go to the home gym to move, always. But something shifted in your routines.

You are tired, less motivated and no will to get up your bed.

"I think we need to call the family doctor now, Miss." The maid suggested. "You've lost a bit of weight and you look pale."

"I'm fine." You say as you push your duvet off your body and slide down off your bed. "I'll take a quick bath..." you mumble

"Understood." She is ready to come along with you.

"No... I'm fine... I'll just go alone... just prepare food for me please."

"But... Miss..." she usually prepares your bath and always stays with you there. After the little accident you had a year ago when you first experience a hot bath on the tub. You fainted because you fell asleep. Too much enjoyment and you forgot it is not good to stay long in there.

"I'll be fine." You smile and requested for her to leave

"Okay Miss... but... I will be back after half an hour to check."

"Sure."

You slept last night, wearing your silk robe and your fancy cream nightgown, his favorite. You were expecting Yoongi to come home last night as per usual schedule. But he didn't. He didn't even informed the staff that he'll not be home for a longer period.

What happened? You don't know.

The last time you talked to him was the night he asked you to come to his room and shower with him.

Everything that night was magical. For you atleast. But then you ruined it.

When you both entered his dark room, he immediately clung onto you. He held you like everything depends on it. It was more intemate and hungry than the usual and you liked it for some reason. After all the self doubt and insecurity you felt in the party, the intemacy made you feel more than what you feel.

And when he peeled off your dress from your body, you didn't expected him to go down on his knees and lick your soul out of your body. His tongue did more than you know he could do. It brought you to another level of high. And you didn't know you could screech like an animal because of it. He really made sure you are on cloud nine or even beyond that.

"Fuck me... please..." you begged him after you knees weakened and fall down the floor where he is.

"No." He said. He was sturn. "No request for tonight." He said and then he positioned you underneath him where he could properly see you crumble because of him.

"Y-yoongi... please.... I need... I want to come..." you begged

He brought you to cloud nine but then hold onto your pearls when you were about to orgasm.

"I'm punishing you right now..." he said as he lowers down and starts to run his tongue from your chest up. "Next time... don't wear any sort of revealing clothes...when I'm not around.. do you understand that Y/N?"

"Y-yes..."

"Another rule to add... are you okay with that?" He hummed the last words on your ears before he let both his hands squeeze your breast. "Answer me..."

"I don't... mind..." you were squearming underneath him. He was playing your nipples then. "I... I don't mind... Yoongi..." you repeated, pleading.

His punishment continued for another few minutes. It was too much. You were struggling catching your bliss but he's playing you. However, you are patient. You know his kinks and you know what he wants and so you do whatever and accept whatever. Coz you know it is from him.

"Scream my name." He grunted as he pounds you with no mercy.

You were holding on to his massive bookshelf on the wall, your legs were lifted and hanging over his forearm whilst he was thrusting deep in you. You were getting hurt from your back hitting the shelves but it didn't matter. You don't know why but for some reason you can endure everything just for Yoongi. Even pain.

"Nnggghhaaa..." you threw your arms around his neck as he went faster. "Please!" You cry on his neck. "Aaaahhh!!" You screamed the orgasm you have been keeping for a while. You felt relieved and content.

And as you two were catching your breath. You uttered words that surprised the both of you. You said 'I love you' to Yoongi.

It should not be a surprise. You two are married right. However since yours are different from others, those words were never said or mentioned ever after the wedding. It is like a forebidden phrase though there are no rule about it. It's like an unspoken deal that no one says those words since THIS.. YOU TWO... is just a fantasy. You two got together with no love. It is not real. You are just one of his property.

And so, after that night. That magical night for you ended up into this cold, quiet and empty prison. Again. You are back to nothing.

You thought you are on a journey escaping that confinement. You thought that something is going to change. You thought... that you were wrong about him. But who are you kidding? You were just having sex like you used to. It is nothing special. It is the same crap. So you saying you love him is... worthless.

"Did I even mean it?" You ask yourself as you lay down in your hot bath. "I said it... after sex.." you are trying to understand how those words slipped out of your lips. If it all just happened because of such high from the sex.

You can clearly remember how you said it. You paused, looked into his eyes and carefully said it. You know you said it with the intent for him to hear it but when you saw his reaction. It made you realize what a big mistake it was.

"Am I having feelings for him?" You mumble as you lower yourself more into the water. "I should not right?"

You know the answer to your own quesion. Look at him even ignoring you for almost two weeks now. Who are you even kidding thinking it will have an effect on him?

After the 'I love you' incident, He eat dinners without you or he let you eat first before he comes out of his home office. And then when he leaves, he does not inform you now. You just get the news of him flying off somewhere from your maid. Even his men are being cautious with you. He must've ordered them to be distant but at the same time protect you.

How funny that these are his responses to you. You know you deserve it but you're a little bit hurt, your not going to lie.

"Who am I for him to love?" You sigh. "Maybe... I should just prepare myself for the ending of this fantasy..."

*********

"Master." The maids bows as they suddenly sees Yoongi enter the main entrance while they are all cleaning.

Yoongi have not been home for a while. He has been... busy.

"Give them all my clothes." He says to his right hand man. "Sorry if it's quite a lot today." He then says to the maids as he removes his black coat revealing his white button up shirt, stained with blood. A lot of it. No one reacted to the visual that is shown. All the staff are used to it. They know how his world is.

"Where is she?" He asks as he loosen up his tie

All the maids in the corredor suddenly turn heads to the youngest one at the end of the line. She is Y/N personal maid.

"Master." She steps forwards and bows again. "Miss is in her bath."

Yoongi frowns. "Alone?"

"Ahm..." she suddenly stutters. "Sorry, Master! She... Miss wanted to... alone... but I told her after half an hour I will go back."

"How long has she been there?" He then throws his tie on the ground.

"Twenty."

"Okay." He takes a deep breathe and tries to collect himself. "Just go and be on standby in her room. She can't stay any longer."

"Okay, Master." She bows again and briskfully walk back to Y/N wing.

"Are you not going to... visit her Sir?" His male right hand asks. "She have been messaging you since..." he pauses for a bit. "And calling too."

He didn't answer. "Ready my bath please." He orders and just continue walking his way to his room.

"Understood." The man replies

"She can't see me like this." Yoongi mumbles as he walks

"I see..." his right hand man smiles at his master's response.

"Why are you smiling?" Yoongi asks, one eyebrow up.

"Nothing, Sir."

"Just spit it out."

The right man, Mr. Kim have been Yoongi's right hand man ever since he was in his teens. Mr. Kim saw him grew up and be the man that he is now. And for sure, if something changed he would be the first one to notice

And now, the tiny changes in Yoongi's mood and decisions, He might not know or see it but it is obvious for Mr. Kim. He knows it is something about his wife.

"2nd week of your marriage, Sir. She saw you coming home with a bloody lip and injured knuckles. You said you don't give a damn if she sees you looking like a murderer."

"So? What's your point?"

"It's just lately...."

Yoongi pauses and turns around to see Mr. Kim, wearing a smile.

"What are you implying? Just... say it."

Mr. Kim bows and says, "Nothing Sir."

"Hmmm..." rolling his eyes, he continued to walk.

*****

"Miss..." your personal maid rushes in your room, "Master have return." She says.

To her suprise, she sees you standing in the middle of the room, wearing your bathrobe and a towel in your hair already.

You take a deep breathe, not letting your eyes look away from the view you are seeing from your window, a clear blue sky.

"Miss.. shall I prepare your clothes?"

You close your eyes and then removed the towel wrapped around your long hair. "Please..." you softly answer

"What do you prefer to wear today, Miss?" She asks she she begins to walk towards your walk in closet.

"A black dress..." you say as you follow along. "Maybe the one with the longer sleeves."

She nods and then continues to search for the dresses you have that matches your description while you on the other hand looks at yourself in the full length mirror while you undress from your robe.

You stare at your body and see how you thin you are. Not super thin but thinner than what you used to.

It's your own fault. You have been skipping meals when you are stressed and it's not good.

"Miss?" She then lays three dresses on the sofa in the middle, for your choices.

"The middle one." You says.

You then open the drawer for your undies to grab a black lace matching underwear.

"Ahm, Miss...?"

"Yes?"

"Are you going to eat with Master, in the dinning today?"

"Hmm... what did he say?"

"Nothing. He just asked me to stay with you when I told him you are in your bath."

"Did he say if he wants to see me?"

The maid didn't answer.

"I guess not." You scoff as you getting into the dress. "Just bring my food in my study room. I'll eat there while I do some reading."

"Understood." She bows and exists the room.

"I'm not gonna wait for him anymore." You say to yourself while looking onto the mirror. "If he's going to avoid me or ignore me... then... that's what I'll do as well..."

Starring once again at yourself on the mirror, you look at your face and then your eyes goes down to your belly.

"I have to learn to go on with my life... with or without him..." you mumble. "I should start to escape this fantasy... a dream that maybe the 'us' will be something."

Part 3 - Twilight

[jsbluu]

left on seen | chapter 21: a long overdue apology

➨ chapter 20: plan a | left on seen masterlist | next

➨ chapter 21.. i cooked on this one idk about you guys but i think this might be the best chapter (so far) anyway i can’t believe it’s already december!! hope you guys are ready for that christmas chapter..

TAGLIST: @yizhrt @bococostree @sunghoonsgfreal @dinonuguaegi @ddolbyong @4chensungs @vixensss @jirsungs @luffysprincess @nosungluv @akunoeyebrows @sinsgaybutthatsokay @joyzluvr @n0hyuck @mrsbyun-baek @queenrachelpink @botchedbrat @livingdoll-hara @minkyuncutie @gomdoleemyson @17ericas @cookydream

the next morning, you woke up bright and early (aka 2 hours before you usually did) and immediately went to the kitchen armed with eggs, bread, and a whole lot of guilt. you had never been much of a baker, but how hard could making french toast be?

the first batch of bread burnt almost instantly, the pan smoking like a chimney and ended with you frantically waving a towel in front of the smoke detector in hopes it didn’t go off. 

the second batch falls apart in the egg mixture, leaving you with a nasty looking mix that looked more like oatmeal then whatever the hell you were trying to make. you throw it in the trash and put your head down on the table, mumbling random things to yourself in frustration. “why did i think this would be a good idea?” but as you wipe your hands on your apron, you think about leehan. you think about the way he avoided you, the way you made him feel, and that gave you one last push to try to make it right between you guys. 

by the third and final attempt, you finally started to find a rhythm. low heat, don’t let the bread soak for too long, flip correctly. slowly but surely, the toast piled up beside you. they weren’t perfect, but it was gonna have to do. by the time you’re finished, the kitchen looked like a battle zone. flour was on your cheeks, cinnamon was on the floor, and there was a small splatter of batter on the ceiling which you had absolutely no idea how it even got there, but you done it. you move the toast to a different container, adding a little bit of syrup and powdered sugar in hopes to make it look a little bit more appetizing, along with a fork on the side.

class felt like a punishment. you sat on the far side of the classroom, way too far from your friends to be comfortable. you’d spotted leehan when you’d walked in, seating with his head down scrolling on his phone. he hadn’t looked up, not once. 

it’s your fault, and you know it. the guilt that you’ve carried the past few days sits heavily on your chest, weighing you down and making it physically impossible for you to be able to focus on anything else. you wished you had said something when you had the chance, told leehan you weren’t interested in seeing him again and this all could’ve been avoided.

this time, though, you’re prepared. you glance at the container in your backpack and feel your heart start to pound, you’ve rehearsed what you’re gonna say to him so many times in your head, but it never made it easier. when class ends, the students start filing out the door, including jisung and kazuha, but you stay still in your seat. leehan stands to leave, grabbing his bag before making his way down the rows of seats. before he can get too far, you rush to stop him.

“leehan” you call out.

he freezes mid step, slowly turning around to face you. his expression is unreadable, you can’t tell if he was happy you were talking to him or if he wanted to continue leaving. “..yes?”

you swallow hard and step a bit closer towards him. “can we talk for a second?”

he nods and you lead him towards a corner of the room, where it’s quieter, and you feel your nerves becoming worse and worse each step. when you finally come to a stop, you tightly grab your bag and look at him, all the guilt you had adorned the past few days coming up to the surface.

“i’m really sorry.” you start, your voice quiet and shaking. “for everything.” he crosses his arms in front of you, his expression slightly softening. “you didn’t have to—“ “no, i do.” you cut him off. “you’re allowed to be upset. i bailed on you and didn’t even tell you why. i just.. got overwhelmed, and i didn’t know how to handle it. but that’s no excuse and im just as upset with myself as you are. you didn’t deserve that.”

his brows knit together as he watches you, the tension in his shoulders loosening.

you fumble with your bag before pulling out the somehow still warm container of french toast and holding it in front of him for him to take. “i made this for you. it’s french toast. well.. an attempt i should say. i know how disappointed you were last time you had it cause you got sick, so i hope this one doesn’t give you food poisoning again..”

your words trail off as you gesture towards the container, “i thought it could be my apology towards you. and a promise to do better.” leehan slowly blinks at the container, before a small smile starts to form on his face. “you made me french toast?”

“it took forever” you admit, awkwardly shifting in your shoes. “i burned it the first time, then the 2nd one looked like.. well it doesn’t matter. but i kept going because..” you hesitate before making direct eye contact with him. “because you’re important to me and i really don’t want to lose you as a friend.”

for a second, he just stares at you. then he sighs, setting the container on a nearby desk.

“did you ditch me because you like jisung?” he asks suddenly, his voice quieter than you expected. 

“i..” you swallow hard, your face burning and you don’t know how to reply.

“that wasn’t a no” he points out, though there’s no anger in his tone; just curiosity.

you let out a shaky breath, your fingers tightly gripping the strap of your bag again. “i’ve had a crush on him for almost 2 years now.” you admit quietly. “but it’s not.. i didn’t mean to make you feel like you were second place or anything. you’re my friend and i care about you. i just..” you trail off, your voice becoming thick with frustration. “i’ve been a mess lately. even my best friend ningning is upset with me.”

leehan watches you for a long moment before grabbing the container of french toast again. he opens it, grabbing the fork you provided and takes a bite.

“you’re not good at this, are you?” he says letting out a soft laugh.

“what?” you ask, startled.

“at handling people.” he says, his tone teasing. “you overthink to the point where you make it worse for yourself. you should’ve told me from the start, i would’ve understood.”

“i know.” you mutter, full of embarrassment. this is not the first time you’ve been told that, and you know that it won’t be your last.

“but this,” he continues, pointing at the food. “this is a start. it’s actually really good.”

you blink at him in confusion, completely caught off guard, “wait.. you’re not mad?”

“i was mad.” he admits, leaning back against the desk. “but you’ve always been honest with me every other time, even when you’re not at your best. and you gave me the truth today, and that’s all i needed.”

“leehan..”

he waves you off with a small smile, the one that you loved so much. “we’re fine, y/n. just don’t burn yourself out trying to make everybody happy, okay? including jisung.”

your face flushed at the mention of jisung’s name, but there’s no hidden meaning or condescending tone in his voice, just genuine worry.

“thank you.” you murmur, relief almost instantly washing over you. he hesitates, then speaks again. “just next time, talk to me?  you don't have to figure everything out alone.”

“i will.” you promise.

he smiles at you one last time before closing the container and putting it in his bag. “you’re forgiven. but you owe me more french toast if this happens again.”

you manage to give him a weak laugh, “deal.”

his smile lingers as he looks down at the container. “thanks for this by the way, means a lot.”

you nod, too worried that whatever you’ll say after will just make it worse and it’ll be awkward again. you watch as he waves to you goodbye before leaving the classroom. you stay back, giving yourself a few seconds to recuperate your emotions before leaving. 

as you leave the classroom, your mind is already racing ahead. you may have made things better with leehan, but you’re not done yet. one person remains at the top of the list. now to talk to ningning.

© jsbluu | please do not copy, reupload, or translate my work.

[cherryhoneybabe]

new beginnings, old memories

female oc x rafe cameron

welcome to my first rafe fic on this blog! i prefer writing with actual characters as opposed to x reader idk i find it more natural to write. enjoy!

warnings - drug use, smoking, swearing (obv), underage drinking, 

introducing evie austen - sarah’s best friend from childhood who moved away for undisclosed reasons. now she’s back in the obx to rekindle old friendships and relax but a certain best friend’s brother just can’t keep his hands to himself…

“sarah!” evie yelped, squeezing the blonde girl in the tightest, rib crushing hug of all time. “i missed you eves,” sarah admitted, warming into the embrace. evie hadn’t been back to the outer banks since she was fourteen, when her parents decided to relocate to new york and send their so-called troublesome daughter to the most elite boarding school in the city, hoping to straighten her out. now, four years later evie is back, and the first thing she needs is some good, quality time with her best friend.

“so how was new york?” sarah questioned.

“fun as always, you know the drill,” evie replied with a sarcastic grin creeping over her face. “but i’m glad to be back. i missed all of this, we have so much to catch up on!”

“what better way to welcome you back than a party? one of topper’s friends is throwing a get-together this friday, be there or else,” sarah laughed, pushing the older girl’s arm slightly.

so, that friday evie snuck out of her parent’s mansion, carefully tiptoeing down the stairs in her worn converse, black tank top paired with a denim mini skirt. casual, not too over the top. she didn’t want to draw more attention than necessary to herself, not after what happened last time.

nestling a six-pack of coors light under her arm, evie walked up to the address sarah had given her, pushing the front door open and slipping in to the swing of the party. the bass was thumping and the open plan house was filled with drunk teenagers conversing, flirting and more than likely, disappointing their parents. as evie took a breath, the musky aroma of weed and cheap beer filled her senses, eliciting a welcoming smile on her face. it felt good to be home.

venturing further into the house, evie soon spotted sarah pouring herself a cup of some fruity elixir, joined by some of her friends, most of whom evie hadn’t seen since she was fourteen. it wasn’t that she didn’t like sarah’s other friends, but they just didn’t get her like sarah did. sarah was like family, evie’s rock when things went south. and when evie was forced to leave all she ever knew behind, sarah was the person she regretted leaving the most. but that didn't matter now; evie was here to stay, and she would never let anything steal her friend away again, she just had to be more…careful.

evie greeted sarah with yet another hug (she would give her a million hugs just to make up for lost time), and offered a small smile to the other girls that surrounded sarah. she recognised one of the girls, tiana, from her high school gym class. a bitchy, drama craving kook who was as fake as the id evie had bought her beers with at the grocery store hours earlier.

“so evie,” tiana began, a ruthless grin appearing on her face.

“tiana. pleasure to see you as always, how you doin’?” evie remarked.

“hmm. yeah,” the dark haired girl answered. “how was juvie? heard it’s pretty rough up there in the big city for girls like you,”

“eat shit tiana. you’re eighteen now, you might want to act like it.” evie was fed up already, already realising that in the time she’d been gone, nothing much had really changed, and she wasn’t sure if she was ready to face her past. “sarah, i’ll catch you later, i’m heading out for a smoke,”

the brunette navigated her way through the sweaty bodies, the floor sticky from the residue of spilled beer pong cups, her converse sticking to the oak paneled floors. reaching the secluded patio, she perched on the edge of a lounge chair, and lit a cigarette. evie breathed in the smoke, staring out onto the horizon, the sun gently dipping below it. the thumping bass had now faded to a distant background noise. it was peaceful. almost too peaceful.

“well, look who we have here,” evie whipped her head round, fast as lightning to come face to face with none other than rafe. fucking. cameron.

you might think, that with sarah being her best friend, and rafe being sarah’s brother that the two would be friends. or at least tolerate each other. maybe even have a crush on one another? yeah, that wasn’t the case. evie despised rafe; his stupid cocky grin, his snide remarks, the fact he was always lurking whenever she would hang out at tannyhill. but she despised him most of all because he was the one who got her sent to the hellhole of a dungeon she knew as boarding school. 

see, around four years ago evie realised she wasn’t really like the rest of her friends. they had picture perfect lives; imagine loved-up parents, home cooked meals every night, family board game nights. evie’s parents weren’t like that. their coldness towards their only daughter was abnormal to say the least, evie was sure they loved work more than her. at least her mother had time for work. so, as any angsty, riled up teenager would do, evie found other distractions to numb away the pain of her parent’s emotional neglect. she quickly realised that getting high made her feel good, and she would do anything to just be able to slip away from her suffocating home environment. it started with smoking a joint with some older kooks at parties. then, she got a weed pen for her own personal use. when the weed stopped drowning out her sadness, that’s when she discovered her first love: a sweet, fat bump of colombian cocaine. it made her feel like she was finally in control of her own life, she really could write the next chapter if she wanted to, and not give a fuck what her parents think. for the first time in evie’s miserable life, she was finally happy. 

every time evie would visit sarah’s house to hang out with her best friend, she would always find a way to sneak away to rafe’s bedroom. there, she would trade bills for a small baggie of her favourite, sugar sweet crystalline goodness. the transactions between her and rafe were silent, sometimes evie would mutter a “thanks” after the deal was done, but for the most part it was a silent affair. rafe never told his sister, why would he? after all, he was being paid so it wasn’t the best idea for him to snitch. the mutually beneficial relationship between the pair was successful for months, that is until rafe betrayed her.

“rafe. what a pleasure it is to be blessed with your company on this fine evening,” evie sneered, baring her teeth like a vicious hound waiting to be released for the kill. she did feel like killing rafe sometimes. 

“long time no see, austen. you know, i lost my best customer when you moved hundreds of miles away,” the blonde boy smirked, a strand of his hair falling in front of his eye as he leaned down to face evie.

“do you actually have anything relevant to say, or are you just here to be a waste of my time, rafe?” the brunette retorted, taking one last puff of her cigarette before discarding it on the ground, crushing it under the heel of her shoe. 

“actually,i was wondering if you were buying tonight. seeing as you seem to have ditched my sister and her friends to come and sit out here by yourself.”

“nah, i’m, uh, three months clean actually,” evie responded dejectedly.

“really? because i've got some new shit and i reckon you’d love it. first line’s on me,”

evie took a deep breath. willpower was never her strongest suit. surely one line wouldn't harm. what did the counsellor at her boarding school say? relapse is the road to recovery or some shit like that. although she couldn’t stand to be around rafe, he was right. he did have good coke, and when he wasn’t speaking, he was actually quite pleasant to look at. evie might even say he was the hottest boy on the island, but of course she would never tell him that.

“okay. i’ll do a line. but i’m not buying anything.” she narrowed her eyes at rafe.

“that’s my girl”, rafe smiled, extending his hand. evie scoffed, sitting up from her perch on the lounge chair, but neglecting to take the tall boy’s hand.

she followed rafe until they arrived at a bedroom on the top floor of the house, then ventured over to the balcony which overlooked the pool. the party was now in full swing, and evie was starting to develop a headache. rafe began to set the narcotic up on the small table conveniently located on the balcony; two white lines stared back at evie.

“ladies first,” rafe said.

evie gulped, leaning forward, the tip of her nose barely touching the cold plastic of the table. she blocked one nostril, using the other to inhale the white powder.

she leaned back, sniffed until she felt the drug reach the back of her throat, then wiped her nose with the back of her hand. rafe mimicked her movements, both lines had now disappeared from the table, coursing through the pair’s bloodstream, exerting its euphoria on both teenagers.

“good shit huh? rafe teased.

evie nodded, turning sharply on her heels to leave, when rafe grabbed her by the wrist, spinning her back to face him.

“what the hell happened to you in new york, austen? you’ve been back for how long, a week, and you’re more of a bitch than you were before you left. what have i done to piss off kook queen evie?” rafe spoke, his voice raised as he questioned the girl, his face now dangerously close to hers despite the obvious height difference.

“rafe just leave it. i’m not in the mood to talk,” evie sighed, trying to pull her wrist away from the blonde boy’s fixed grip to avail.

“because you're scared of me?”

“i'm not scared of you cameron,” evie shot back.

“then why is your heart beating so fast it's almost flying out of that pretty little tank top of yours? hmm?”

evie was silent, meeting rafe’s eyes with a forlorn stare. she suddenly noticed how close the older boy was to her, his eyes filled with a burning desperation, his whole body trapping her between the door to the balcony, the grip on her wrist still firm. after what felt like an eternity, rafe leaned closer, his lips barely brushing hers. evie was sure she could feel static coursing between her and rafe, the tension was thick in the air, she silently begged him to do something, anything. it felt like her prayers had been answered when the blonde boy finally pressed his lips firmly against hers, sealing the deal. evie could feel electricity surging through her veins and she wasn't sure if it was from her previous drug use, or the fact that rafe cameron was kissing her.

so that's my first ever written work on this account! tysm for reading, i hope you all enjoyed. part 2 is now up! part 2

divider is by @adornedwithlight

[pyramid-of-starrs]

10 from your kinktober list please! 🥰🥰

Plan B

Kinktober request: 10 Fuckboy Mingi, Breeding

Pairing: Fuckboy Mingi x Fem reader

Summary: You and your best friend Hongjoong go to Wooyoungs annual Halloween party, when you're alone you spot your ex and run into a new person instead.

Word Count: 5K

Kink: Breeding kink

Warning: Breeding, toxic guy behavior, plan B mentioned.

A/N: Idk why I made this super long but enjoy lol, I wanna finish up my kinktober request!

Minors dni

"'Scuse me, what kinda candy is in that box? My mommy says I can pick whatever candy for da trick or treaters!" A cute little girl dressed as a princess asked you. You looked down at her slightly startled by her when she tugged your jacket. You stood awkwardly and looked at her and back at the small blue box in your hand, and it definitely wasn't candy, it was a plan B.

"O-oh no... um it's a special adult candy you take after an oopsie with a boy they should have never oopsied with." You said, why on earth didn't you just say no? Your brain was just scrambled after the party from last, while it was amazing there was absolutely some mistakes made in the process of living your best life.

...

You got a text from your best friend Hongjoong about making sure to be ready by 10pm so he could pick you up to go to Wooyoungs annual Halloween party, the best party of the year everyone at your college raved about it. This year you wanted to be sexy but cool and chose to be D.va from overwatch, the bodycon spandex suit showing off your perfect ass and plump breast, you were bound to catch someone’s eye. Your phone rang at 9:43pm and you answered knowing exactly who it was. "I'm coming out now." You said then hung up, you grabbed your jacket and put on your boots and met Hongjoong at his car and got in the front. Once inside you saw him dressed a simple vampire.

"What the fuck Joong, I thought we were being sexy and cool." You said taking off your bunny ears so you could comfortably fit in the car.

"Vampires are sexy and cool, what the hell even is your costume?" he asked as he pulled off.

"I'm D.va from overwatch, thank you." You rolled your eyes.

"What the hell is overwatch??" His eyes darting around in confusion.

"Whatever it doesn't matter if you recognize me, as long as the hoes get it."

"Oh god here we go again with this hoes thing, you've been saying you were going to do a one-night stand with someone and never do cause you're still all hung up over Jongh-"

"HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED." You interrupted him and said, you didn't want to spend another one of your nights sad about your ex Jongho.

"Fine, we're here anyways." Hongjoong parked a bit away from the packed party, you two exited the car and walked to the house party ready for an eventful night. Once inside you paid the entry fee and looked around to see everyone in their costumes and having fun drinking, dancing, smoking and socializing.

"Hongjoong, Y/N, you made it! " A familiar voice said, you both looked over to see the man of the hour Wooyoung dressed as a very sexy Harry potter, fuck if Hongjoong didn't make you follow his new dumb rule of not being allowed to date his friends after the break up with Jongho you would have fucked Wooyoung right then and there. He patted Hongjoongs back and hugged you leaving a pleasant smell of his cologne in the air, his eyes traveled up and down your body. "Lemme guess, D.va? Overwatch?”

Your face got hot, and you felt a bit shy under his gaze. “Yeah, do you play?”

“Kinda, my bro San plays more than me but if hot girls like yourself like you or online then I’ll absolutely be getting on more often” he said winking at you. Hongjoong looked at you two and noticed the tension and rolled his eyes and grabbed your hand.

“Yeah, anyways bro we’re going to grab a drink.” Hongjoong started pulling you away and Wooyoung giggled and waved.

“Bye Y/N.”

“Bye Wooyoung” you gave him a goofy little smile and continued to be pulled to the kitchen.

“Remember the fucking Rule Y/N! I want friends that have never seen you naked.” He pulled you two in front of the punch bowl of jungle juice and started making you both a cup of the mix of liquor and juice.

“I know Hongjoong I know.” You took the cup from him and started to drink with him you both pulled the cup from your lips and made a face.

“Jesus fucking Christ is that just sugar and liquor” Hongjoong said as his face was still twisted you both laughed.

Another person laughed and you both looked up to see Seonghwa dressed as Tom Nook from animal crossing.

“Hwa hey!” You walked over to hug him.

Hongjoong just smiled a bit and waved. Seonghwa was Wooyoungs friend from high school that you and Hongjoong met a few times and Hongjoong had the hugest crush on him. You smirked at him averting his eyes and his ears turning red.

“You too look adorable by the way.” Seonghwa said after hugging you back.

“Thank you Hwa, I think Hongjoong makes a very handsome Vampire, amiright?” You looked over at him shooting you daggers.

“Oh absolutely, you look really good in a cape Joong.” He smiled at the shorter male.

Hongjoong averted his eyes again and rubbed his neck. “Ah, thanks you look nice too…”

“I hope I don’t look nice enough to bite.” Seonghwa bit his lip then looked up at Hongjoong while taking a sip of his drink. You had a cocky grin because you’ve been trying to get Hongjoong to make a move. Hongjoong awkwardly laughed and you covered your face with your cup to hide your 2nd hand embarrassment.

“Well, I’m gonna go scout the scene.” You said trying to be anywhere but there and to give them some space.

“Oh, I’ll come with-“

“No! I gotta be alone to find the cute guys Joong, you’ll scare the hoes” you and Seonghwa laughed, and you walked away and deeper into the party. As you scoped the scene you noticed a pretty good variety of guys but no one that caught your eyes. But then your heart dropped at the worse possible scenario when you reached the back rooms. In the sea of people, you saw a purple head of hair that made your chest puff in and out with anxiety, why him and why here? There Jongho was dressed in his normal clothes with bear ears, he wasn't big on dressing up for Halloween or parties so to seem him standing in the corner with his arm around the waist of another girl. Your heart pounded and your breath was short, you wanted to escape him, wanted to escape this room, escape feeling sad and crying about him. Watching him flirt and touch girls hurt you a bit. You bit your lip to hold back the tears but started to fail. Jongho looked up from his conversation to see you fighting back your emotions and stealing glances of him. He told the girl to give him a second and started making his way over to you. You panicked seeing him coming and quickly wiped your eyes and ran out the room.

You pushed pass the party goers just looking for somewhere to go, you went upstairs into one of the bedrooms and quickly slammed the door. You back away looking at the door hoping that he didn't find you then you bump into something. When you turned around you jumped seeing you didn't bump into something you bumped into someone.

"Oh my god I'm so sorry, is this your room ?" you said apologetically.

The tall silent man dressed as Gojo from jujitsu kaisen just stood there and chuckled.

"You're good, yeah this is my room, did you need something? You know you're pretty far from the party, I even turned my light off so no one would find me." The man said.

Now that you checked your surroundings you realized the bedroom was dark and only lit by the moonlight outside, the party music could barely be heard since the room was in the back of the house. Once you finished scanning the surroundings you finally get a good look at the man whose room you invaded. You got a bit shy when your eyes panned up his tall frame to notice the fairly handsome man with grey hair and black glasses sitting on his forehead to complete his cosplay.

"I hope you're staring because I look good and not because you think I look lame." he said shaking you out of your thought.

"No! You look good, like really good, you're Gojo right?" you asked.

"Oh, I love a woman that knows her anime, and video games." His eyes traced over your figure as he studied your costume along with the way the cosplay hugged your body in all the right places. "Yeah, you'll absolutely do for the night." he whispered to himself lowly. "So, what brings you up to my room?"

"Well, it's kinda dumb but I was running... from my ex." you said embarrassed now that you heard how ridiculous that sounded.

"Damn I get that, I'm Mingi by the way." Mingi said reaching out his hand.

"I'm Y/N" You shook his large hand.

“I was just about to head down but since I have someone with me now you wanna stay in chill with me? I got some real liquor here." He smiled slyly then took a seat on his slightly messy bed he reached next to him and grabbed the bottle of tequila sitting next to his bed, your heart thumped a bit but then you remembered you were here with someone.

"I think I have to check on my friend though, let me text them to see where he is." you pulled out your phone to text Hongjoong then realized he actually texted you 10 minutes ago.

Hongjoong: Hey, Seonghwa wanted to see my studio I built so I took him. Tell Woo to give you a ride home and don't fuck him. Call me when you're home.

You chuckled at the text knowing that Hongjoong was going to have a nice long night. "Never mind, I guess I can hang for a bit" You sat down on the bed a bit further then him. He looked over to see you sitting far and laughed.

"I won't bite unless you tell me too doll, sit closer." He waved you to come closer with his two long fingers and you inched a bit closer, not moving by much. "Some more" you got a bit closer again. "More." he smiled as he grabbed two solo red cups to pour shots for the both of you. When you still barely moved Mingi decided to take matters into his own hands, he put the cups on the floor and hooked his arm around your waist to pull you in. You were sitting thigh to thigh at that point, your face was hot. "Much better." He grabbed the cups again and handed you yours.

"I-I didn't know you meant this close." You said shyly.

"Of course, pretty girl like you I would want right next to me, lucky I didn't pull you in my lap." he winked then held his cup next to your to do a quick cheers to take the shot. You tap his cup then you both chugged down the alcohol. The burning in your chest was strong as the bitter taste sat on your tongue and throat. Mingi took out his phone and played some hip-hop and RnB at a low volume. You both took more shots and sat and talked more as the night progressed. The party downstairs was still going but it started to die down as more chill music was playing downstairs as well. The more liquor you drank the more you remembered why you didn't drink tequila straight. Your pussy was throbbing and sitting alone with this beautiful man, his deep voice and his plump and soft looking lips didn't help. You've known Wooyoung a whole year and was wondering where he was hiding this fine ass man this whole time. The burning between your legs got worse the more you listened to him talk and you tried to rub your thighs together a bit to cool it, your eyes kept drifting to his lips and Mingi noticed you losing attention and fidgeting.

"You okay Y/N?" He smiled at you, and it fueled the fire burning below.

"You're like... really sexy Mingi." You both laughed at your sudden remark.

"Oh really? What's sexy about me?" Mingi said in his deep voice as he finished what was in his cup.

"Your voice, your face, anime, video game knowledge, I bet you get lots of girls."

"Nah not really. People look at Woo and the rest of our friends but not really me." Mingi replied, that was a lie of course, no girl in their right mind would pass up a 6'1 man that has Mingis face, but you didn't need to know that.

"Whaaat? No way you're so damn sexy Mingi I would be all over you if I was them." You said also finishing your cup, the liquid courage you had was getting you in some trouble tonight.

"All over me doing what exactly?" He grabbed your chin and brought your face closer, the smell of tequila fresh on both of you, Mingi had an agenda tonight for sure, He was going to go down to the party after pregaming with a few other girls that just left his room but once he turned off his desk light and was about to head down you came in. No need to go looking for pussy when it walked right up to him.

You both looked into each other’s lustful eyes as Mingi bit his pillowy soft lips. "Whatever you tell me too." was all you could say, a cocky grin spread across Mingis face, he had you right where he wanted you.

"Oh, really baby?" he asked, you eagerly nodded as you got closer to him wanting to taste his lips. Mingi saw how needy you were and decided not to make you wait anymore, he brought your lips closer until they connected, the kissed tasted bittersweet from the liquor and chasers you both had been consuming in your time spent together. The kiss was literally intoxicating, your head spun as he took the lead, his large hands moving to your thighs to grip your flesh in your spandex suit, you could feel the heat between your legs getting more needy for his touch. You decided to do the same and palm Mingi over his black cargo pants he was wearing to get a feel of his hard member. You couldn't really believe what you were feeling, you assumed it was either his pants or Mingi was hung, his steadily growing dick was already thick but as it got bigger in your pants your heart started to race in excitement. Mingi pulled back from the kiss and smiled at you.

"How about you get on your knees and feel what your grabbing baby." He said, you nodded again and moved to the floor, Mingi spread his long legs so you could slot yourself between them. He pulled his pants down a bit then his underwear until his dick happily sprung out in front of you. You were stunned, this easily was the biggest dick you've seen, it was girthy and had an overly generous amount of length to it.

"Holy shit you're big everywhere." You said to yourself by Mingi overheard you and laughed. He gripped your hair with one hand and gripped his dick with the other hand.

"Well let's see how much you can fit in that pretty little mouth baby." he pulled your head down on to his length and you immediately gagged, and he let your hair go to allow you to do what you want. You held the base of his dick and bobbed your head up and down it. To say that it was a mouthful was an understatement, it felt like your mouth was stretching from his girth, the saliva and gagging was a beautiful sight for Mingi.

"Taking my dick in your mouth so well baby." He hissed as you continued to drool down his shaft uncontrollably, you were only able to reach a little past half his length before his tip hit the back of your throat, Mingi dropped his head back as he whispered curse words while you struggled to stuff your little mouth full of his fat cock. You looked up at him and he was even more gorgeous while he fell apart from the feeling of your warm throat, he brought his head back up to meet you gaze and smiled.

“You’re so pretty with my dick in your throat baby, let’s see how pretty you are with it in your pussy.” He palmed the top of your head to remove your mouth from his dick, an audible popping noise following your lips. “Stand up and take your suit off for me baby, I don’t wanna ruin anymore of your costume.” You wondered what he was talking about until you glanced over at the full body mirror in his room to see the tear and spit stains that made your eye and cheek make up smear, not to mention your lipstick was almost completely gone. You reached your hand up to the zipper in front of your suit to slowly pull it down to reveal your soft body underneath. Stepping out of your suit you had on just panties since the suit was bodycon and made your tits sit nicely on their own, you were a bit shy standing in front of Mingi in just panties and covered your chest.

“Aww c’mon pretty don’t get shy on me now, come sit right here.” Mingi said patting his lap after he removed the remainder of his outfit. You decided to take off your panties and took a seat on Mingis bare lap facing the same way as him, the feeling of his throbbing hot dick just waiting to destroy your pussy made you scared but excited, he replaced your hands on your boobs and started to mush your mounds around, being sure to rub gentle circles on your hard nipples. He kissed up your neck while quietly breathy moans left your lips, the liquor still floating in your system was definitely on his side. His lips made it up to your ear as his lips kissed the shell of it, then he whispered softly. “Can I fuck your pretty pussy raw baby?” The thought of taking Mingis thick dick raw made your pussy pulsate, but it definitely was not a good idea to fuck a guy you just met a college party raw.

“Are you clean?” You ask bluntly, better safe than sorry.

“Of course, baby, I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t.” His lips continued to explore your neck and shoulders, one of his hands slid down your body to rub between your legs, coming dangerously close to where you needed him most.

“Well if you say so…” you said still a bit skeptical, his long fingers ran through your folds and rubbed circles on your clit, your eyes rolled back for a second from feeling the relief of his touch.

“You’re so wet already baby let me stuff you full of my cum.” He spread his legs which made your legs spread. “Stick it in for me baby.” You obeyed and connected the tip of his dick to your entrance and slowly sunk down on it, you usually could take dick like a porn star, but you never fucked a porn star dick like Mingis. The abundance of pleasure came with a slight stinging pain, but it was worth it once you took him all in and adjusted to his length.

Mingi gripped the underneath’s of your knees and bounced you on his length slowly to make sure you were comfortable and sped up the pace more and more.

“Oh my fucking God Mingi please you’re already fucking me too good.” You said between moans, you couldn’t even think straight with his huge cock pounding into you in this position.

“You like the way I fuck you baby? I gotta fuck you nice and deep so I can fill this pussy up with my cum.”

Okay this was the second time he has mentioned coming in you, though it was hot, and it was unlocking a secret breeding kink you didn't know you had maybe you should mention you're not on birth control.

"M-mingi, I'm not ah~ on the pill..." you managed to squeal out. Mingi lifted you knees more and continued to pound inside of you.

"That's fine baby we'll get a pill later."

Oh fuck he was serious about this, and it was turning you on more seeing how badly he wanted to cum in your pussy. Your walls started to tighten around him, wanting to milk his dick dry.

"You're tight little pussy wants my cum so bad baby, you must want me to get you nice and pregnant." he said in your ear, his words were going directly to your cunt as it throbbed harder, you moaned louder, the people that were still at the party and in the area for sure knew what was going on in that room as you yelled strings of curse words and Mingis name not caring who could hear you.

"Please give me all your babies Mingi." You were fucked out and just talking, Mingis huge dick was mixing your guts and hitting your cervix and that's all you could think of, you want, no, needed his cum to fill up your womb.

Suddenly Mingi pulled out and you whined at the lost friction, he put you on your back and slotted himself between your legs, then placed both your legs on his strong shoulders. He lined himself back up and plunged deeply in your pussy with no hesitation, you yelled out feeling his monster dick deep in your pussy again.

"Gotta breed you nice and full baby, this is the perfect position to get my cum deep in your womb." He said before he started to drill into your needy cunt, you couldn't help yourself from yelling out the obscenest things to come to mind. "I want you're cum so deep in me please" "I love your dick so much." "Please keep fucking me like this." and you felt no shame in the things you said. A dick has never had this much control or power over you, but you loved it for some reason.

"Mingi 'm gonna cum please." Mingi slowed his pace a bit then leaned forward pushing your legs to your chest as he laid in the crook of your neck then he started to deep dick fuck you, the head of his cock beating your cervix in the best way possible, you started to see stars. You wrapped your arms around his neck but couldn't stop fidgeting so you found yourself digging your nails into his shoulders, he squeezed your body closer to his large frame assuring that you had to take his entire load.

"Cum on my dick so I can make your belly full of my babies. I want your pussy to take every last drop of my seed." He pounded into you so fast and deep the bed frame shook violently, you stood no chance and coated his thick dick in your slick, feeling your walls squeeze him tightly made Mingi groan, he lasted a few more strokes then filled your walls and womb with his hot cum. Such a big dick of course his load would be just as big, you swore you felt your tummy bulging as he laid on top of you while his dick continued to shoot inside of you. Once he finished Mingi dropped on the side of you, both of you were sweaty and out of breath, Mingi didn't offer to clean you up or even attempt to move so you asked him for some spare clothes to go to the bath room to do it for yourself, you assumed he was too tired. You put on one of his jogging suits with nothing under neath and headed to the bathroom down the hall.

Once you washed your face of all make up and the rest of your body you headed downstairs, it was now 3:46am and the party turned into a chill hang out with still quite a few people around. You wanted to get a non-alcoholic drink for your dry and sore throat, once in the kitchen you grabbed a bottle of water and turned around to be met with your ex.

"Oh...Jongho, hey." you said awkwardly.

"Y/N, I've been looking for you, I saw you earlier and wanted to talk to you." He said looking over your outfit. "You're not wearing you're costume anymore, what happened?" he questioned.

"Well, I-" as you started to come up with an excuse or lie a large arm wrapped around your shoulder and pulled you into his t-shirt covered chest.

"Y/N there you are, I was waiting on you to come back baby." Mingi said pulling you in to a kiss, then his eyes looked over to Jongho. "Yo, names Mingi." Jongho’ s eye twitched a bit.

"Well, I see you're occupied, I'll talk to you later Y/N." Jongho said before walking off.

You and mingi looked at each other then laughed, Mingi took you back to his room to cuddle and sleep (And go for a few more rounds). The next afternoon you finally woke up at 12pm with a pounding headache and Mingi not in his bed. You figured he had something to do and collected your costume, texted Hongjoong to come pick you up then headed downstairs to do the walk of shame alone. Luckily it was only Wooyoung and one other male there, they noticed you walking down the stairs and you walked over to them.

"Well good afternoon gorgeous, I see someone had a good night." Wooyoung said smiling at you. "Who's the lucky guy?" He said as both the males looked at you.

"Um, I actually never met him, but he was one of your room mates, Mingi, he was super nice and said he was going to text me so he could take me out later." You had such a sweet smile on your face while Wooyoung and the other man’s face was quite the opposite.

"Weeelll um, I wouldn't hold my breath on that Y/N, but I'm glad your optimistic." Wooyoung said.

"Woo be straight up with her, Mingi isn't exactly, how can I say this, the dating type." The other one said.

"Who are you?" You asked.

"This is San, I was hoping to hook you guys up but looks like Mingi snagged ya first." Both the males chuckled.

"Anyway, Mingi is what most girls call a fuck boy, he tells you everything you wanna hear but never delivers." San said.

You thought about what they were saying, no way was the guy that talked to you for hours and cuddled you so warmly just a fuck boy right?

"Whatever you guys are just mean! My rides here I gotta go." They both laughed at your temper tantrum and waved you goodbye.

You walked out to the car to see Hongjoong in the driver seat and Seonghwa in the back, you smiled and got in the car.

"Well, well, looks like I'm not the only one that had an eventful night." you said teasing Hongjoong.

Seonghwa giggled and Hongjoong blushed "Shut up! Why did you need me to stop at a pharmacy before I took you home?"

"Well my night was SUPER, eventful if you get my drift." you said raising your eyebrows so Hongjoong would pick up on what you were saying.

"Ew, you let one of those guys hit it raw AND finish in you, I taught you better than this Y/N." He rolled his eyes in fake disgust and drove off.

"So how was it Y/N?" Seonghwa asked.

"It was fucking amazing, I've never had a huge one like that and god I couldn't even think straight." you replied, excited to tell someone about your endeavors.

"Wow, who was it with? Was it Wooyoung? He always says you're pretty but off limits, or did he finally introduce you to San?" Seonghwa said intrigued to know the answer.

"Neither, it was his other roommate, Mingi." You said smiling, Seonghwa made a face.

"Well, I'm glad you enjoyed yourself at least." He said it in a specific voice that you and Hongjoong picked up on.

"Why did you say it like that Hwa?" Hongjoong asked.

"It's just that Mingi is well... a free spirit, kinda goes where he wants and does what he wants."

"Oh god did you fuck the house fuckboy Y/N?" Hongjoong asked bluntly.

"No! Why does everyone keep saying that I know how to clock a fuck boy." you did however start to get nervous since you did text Mingi when you woke up saying how much you enjoyed last night and asking him for the money for the pill and all he replied was "GM" and only sent $23.

"Dammit Y/N how do you get involved with a fuck boy right after getting your heart broken." Hongjoong said as he pulled into the pharmacy.

Now there you were, standing in the pharmacy, holding a plan B, telling a child not to talk to fuck boys and having to have your male best friend send you the remaining amount to cover the pill. About a week had passed and you accepted that you had been fucked over and that you weren't getting that date after the 5th unanswered text, you sat in your studio apartment late that night since you stayed up to binge a show, it was around 2am then your phone buzzed, you checked your phone assuming it was Hongjoong.

Mingi: Hey baby u up?

[femininefables]

⛓️🖤ℑ’𝔩𝔩 𝔎𝔢𝔢𝔭 𝔚𝔞𝔦𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤🖤⛓️

Sevika x fem! Y/n: broken marriage angst

part 1

a/n : in reality, I can never see Sevika treating her S/O like this, but I’m a sucker for angst so here this is anyways.

contains: swearing, alcohol abuse, minor pushing and shoving, smoking, maybe manipulation? Idk. If you’re uncomfortable with any of this, please stay away for your own comfort! ❤️

w/c : 2.1k

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:··:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

The rain comes down hard against the shaking windows of your apartment in Zaun. You’re sitting up, waiting on the return of your wife, Sevika. She was meant to be home a while ago, but you try not to worry. Despite that, the anxiety that something’s wrong this time lingers in your mind.

She’s usually late to come home since she’s now Silco’s right hand, and is a lot busier than she used to be. You can’t say you entirely agree with Silco and Sevika, but this job seems to mean a lot to her, so you let any opinions you have go.

The clock strikes again… it’s been an hour, and no Sevika. You know that something’s up for sure, but what can you do? There’s no way you’d last long alone in Zaun past midnight… You try to stay up longer, but you feel sleep pulling your eyelids shut and attempting to quiet your worried mind…

Defeated, you sleepily make your way to the bed you share with Sevika, crawling onto it before collapsing where she’d usually sleep. You can’t help but smell her on the pillows, the blankets, and the sheets. You decide you’ll head straight to Silco’s base the very next morning to find her… if she isn’t back by then…

The faint sunlight filters its way through your halfway drawn blinds. Reaching out, you search for the familiar warmth of your wife, but she still isn’t there. Sitting up immediately, you pull on some clothes, grab a pocket knife, and leave to search for her on your own.

When you finally reach Silco’s place, most of his guards and goons move out of your way. Sevika has always made it clear that you’re with her, and the consequences of your mistreatment won’t be pretty, whether she’s your coworker or not. “Sev? Are you here?” You call out nervously. There’s still no sign of her. You slowly make your way to Silco’s door, cracking it open before pushing it out of the way. Sevika is completely knocked out on the couch.

Your hand goes to your mouth in shock as your eyes wander towards the bandaged bloody stump where her arm used to be. You feel light headed. You might puke, but you steel yourself, and instead focus on her face. “Sev! Are you okay? What happened?!” You say. You don’t shake her, since you think that might hurt her. You press your ear to her chest and breath a sigh of relief when you not only hear her heart pumping, but feel the slow rise and fall of her chest that you missed the night before.

“She’ll live…” A sickeningly familiar voice says from behind you. Whirling around, startled by the intrusion, you see that it’s only Silco. He doesn’t look so good himself either… Not that he ever did to you anyways. “What happened!?” You demand, trying to hide the obvious tremor in your voice. “A plan.. I can’t tell you everything, but Vander’s girl was causing some trouble, and there was…an explosion..”

He walks around the room till he reaches his desk, sitting down in the large chair. “Your..partner, Sevika…She defended me.. probably saved my life. In exchange for well…I think you can tell.” You’re aware of what has been going on the past couple of days. The explosion in piltover, the enforcers running around looking for the suspects, but you have no idea how this is related at all. All you want is for Sevika to wake up and tell you everything’s okay like normal.

“Uggh….shit..” Wish granted. Sevika’s eyes flutter open and she looks around. It’s clear she’s not really there, but you can’t help rushing back to her side. “Sev it’s me! A-are you okay? How do you feel!?” She looks at you strangely, before muttering a curse and going back to sleep. Kind of anti-climactic.

“We had a doctor stop by. She’s on a lot of medication right now, but she should be okay, given I’m giving her two months off..” She just lost her arm.. Only two months!? You think to yourself. However; “Okay..” is how you respond. All you can do is stare down at your wife, who merely furrows her eyebrows in her sleep.

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:-

It’s been some time since the accident. Sevika is back home, and has been for about a week now. Recently, she’s been less affectionate, but you’ve brushed it off as stress, or her getting used to her new disability.

Despite this, you’re trying to be the most supportive wife you can possibly be. One afternoon, you spot her struggling to eat with a spoon. Her left hand was her dominant one after all… You go over to help her, lifting the spoon to her lips and smiling. “Hey. It’s alright I can help you.” She glares at you. “I don’t need your help… I’m not a kid.” You sigh, trying to be patient with her. “I know…but just let me help you right now.” Sevika has never been good at accepting help. She always wants to do things on her own. It’s a quality you find equally endearing, and annoying at times.

“I know that-well, things are going to be different for you from now on. This is all going to take some getting used to, but please, let me help you for now.” You plead with her. Her eyes soften momentarily, before looking away from you with a grunt. She begrudgingly takes the spoon in her mouth, allowing you to help her eat.

Despite some moments of tenderness, things are still pretty rough. She’s drinking a lot more than usual, and completely brushing you off when you try to talk to her about it. One night, you wake up to the loud sound of the TV in the living room. Sevika isn’t next to you.

You get up and head out the bedroom door, finding her drinking what looks like her third beer, and watching some crap on the TV. “What’s with that look, baby~?” She asks with a drunken slur. “You’re drinking again…You’ve already had a lot today.” You say, walking over and sitting down next to her. You hold her remaining hand with your own. “Ah fuck…Just get off my back…” She groans, rolling her eyes at you. “Sev, I just-all this drinking can’t be good for you. I know loosing your arm is rough, but this isn’t the solution! Just please come to bed with me.” You beg her. For a moment her eyebrows raise, before she scowls at you. She roughly shoves you off of her. “I didn’t ask for your fucking opinion on how i’m dealing with my own shit. Not yours.” She spat. Sevika swears all the time. She has the mouth of a sailor, but this time it feels different. Like the feeling you had when waiting for her to come home that night. A sinking feeling in your stomach telling you something is wrong. Fighting back tears, you stand up and return to bed.

It’s after one a.m. Sevika still hasn’t come to bed. The TV is off now. Is she asleep? You grip your wedding ring tightly. As you twist it around your finger, you assure yourself that this will all brush over. She just needs time…she’ll come around…she still loves me…it’ll be okay…

You jolt awake at the sound of heavy footsteps and the bed bouncing as Sevika plops down. You feel her calloused hand snake around your waist, and pull your back flush against her chest. Her chin comes to rest on the top of your head, and she finally speaks. “Hey…I’m sorry…” She sounds remorseful. Drunk for sure. Sevika is usually good at holding her alcohol. Must have drank a lot tonight…

“I shouldn’t be mean to you… I love you… you know that right?” She presses a kiss to the top of your head. The first one in a while. It stings a bit that it’s not when she’s sober. “Yeah… I know.” You mutter. Sevika mumbles on “ I’m sorry baby. I don’t deserve someone as pretty and sweet as you. I don’t know why you wanted to be with an old lady like me…” She squeezes you tighter. Sevika is only thirty three, but she calls herself old all the time. The usual ramblings of a drunk Sevika. You fall asleep that night in her arms. Till you’re not. The morning leaves you alone in the bed. After getting up, you notice Sevika isn’t home. You wait all afternoon until she finally comes through the door. “Oh, hey babe.” She says. “ Sev, where were you so early?” You ask, noticing the red cape draped over where her left arm was. “ Silco’s place. He called me over and, well… I’m getting a prosthetic.” She doesn’t seem too thrilled.

“That’s great!” You rush to her side, urging her to sit down. She’s still a bit tense. “Is something wrong?” You ask. She’s averting your gaze. “Look I just…you…fuck. Never mind.” She stands up and lights a cigarillo. Something she never used to do around you.

Sevika’s new arm will definitely take some getting used to. You’re not too sure about the shimmer aspect of it, but she seems pleased with it. “I’ll be back to work with this soon.” She says one night while you’re cooking dinner. “Aww…I’ll miss having you at home, Sev.” You say it like it’s a joke, but you really will miss her. “Yeah? I don’t know why. I’ve been a total bitch recently.” She remarks. “I still will. These past weeks have been hard, so I understand.” She frowns, leaning her elbows on the counter. “You’re just gonna let me get away with that? Wonder what else you’d put up with…”

And so, Sevika is back to work. You barely see her. Leaving early in the morning, and coming back either late into the night, or the early hours of the morning. You’re not sure if all of it is work though… Sometimes, she’ll come back with loads of cash. Sevika has always been a gambler, but it may be getting out of hand now.

Other times, she’ll come home scuffed up from another one of Silco’s “errands.” She won’t let you tend to her like she used to. You were hoping your relationship would go back to how it was now that things are mostly back to normal, but you only seem to be getting more distant. It’s been one week. One whole week since you’ve seen your wife. She told you this mission would be a long one, and “don’t expect to see me around soon.” Before just leaving. You miss the goodbye hugs and soft kisses, and the sweet nothings she’d leave you with.

One night the door slams open, waking you with a little yelp. “Just me.” You hear her yell from the doorway. Getting up, you rush to greet Sevika with a big hug. She stiffens, but merely rubs your head in response. “I missed you…” You mumble into her shirt, which smells of smoke, and blood. “Isn’t that cute?” She chuckles, something you haven’t heard in the longest time.

Everything is strange now. Moments like these feel off. She’s kind to you, sweet and loving, before suddenly becoming cold and distant again. Is this good? Is it bad? No marriage is going to be perfect everyday, but these ups and downs are confusing you. Nevertheless, you savor the rare moment of tenderness.

That morning, you wake up with a smile on your face. Today is Sevika’s day off. Your mind is brimming with ideas of what you could do today. Maybe you can go to the market together, or do some baking, or possibly something else you’ve been missing from her… Shaking the lewd delusion from your head, you get up to go find Sevika. To your surprise, she’s putting on her shoes and adjusting her red poncho over her new arm. “Where are you going?” You ask meekly. Your voice betraying the slightly sad mood you’ve found yourself in. “Out.” Is all she says. She doesn’t even look over her shoulder at you. Deciding not to let this moment go to waste, you tackle her in a tight hug, feeling her warm body against yours, along with the ice cold metal of her arm.

“Get the hell off’a me!” Her voice raises slightly, pushing you away, and knocking you off of her. “I- I’ll be back soon.” She looks regretful for just a moment, before leaving without another word.

For a moment you can’t even move. Just standing there looking shocked as ever. She’s never been so secretive. So aggressive or impulsive. You feel tears sliding down your cheeks before you can even try and stop them. But there’s also a ball of anger and pain in your stomach. You can’t say anything except for a little gasp.

You desperately touch the wedding ring around your finger like it’s a lifeline. “From the fanciest place I could find.” Is what she told you that day. Her eyes trained on yours like you were the only thing in her world. You certainly were not now.

A/n : Hello! Thanks so much for reading part one. I plan to keep this as a series, and any form of critique or suggestions are welcome!

-Elena