#idk they’re gender fucky

[vldsideblog]

Okay, I have no real reason for this drawing. I just felt like drawing Pidge with a potted plant. It’s probably a gift from their mom or something. Or maybe Coran got really into gardening and made everyone participate in a garden party idk. Also aroace Pidge supremacy.

[memoriesofthecircularroom]

aa how do u know if your alters are really just personality phases or maybe u have bpd instead.. bc im confused how is identity confusion and dissociation like in bpd vs did/osdd alters? also how do u know if u do have amnesia a or if it’s depression or stress/constant trauma making u forget things a little? can you still have osdd/did eveb if u don’t think abt who u are sometimes like u don’t know who is fronting or haven’t switches in a while? can u have osdd/did and not be in constant dissociation like can u have breaks from it? idk how do u know they are really alters and not just normal fluidity of the personality .. like considering u also have trauma, dissociation, and possible amnesia on top of it.. but STILL.. like yes these alters(??) seem like separate people and have different aesthetics and are very different and u feel like sometimes u go between them and constantly have identity/gender/sexuality/name crisis and switch names all the time… but it’s possible .. not to be alters .. and I’m confused on what’s normal stuff for singlets and people wirh bpd and aaaa idk this is messy I’m sorry I’m just don’t want to inaccuracy describe myself as a system .. I’ve researched for years but I’m still worried it’s not right and I’m trying to hear what other people say on how to know if they’re really alters .. (to be very clear when I said “u” I mean me mnsnxns) I know u can’t dx me but like could u explain or advise some things?

Hey buddy. Sorry it took me a bit - depression hell!

Sounds like you’re struggling too. Thing is, I know basically jack shit about BPD. But that doesn’t even sound like what you’re actually struggling with.

I’m a DID system. My therapist agrees. I live my daily life as if I am 11 alters in one body. And I’ve made 100% peace with the fact that, if tomorrow, it was scientifically proven that I didn’t have DID… that doesn’t change what I’m going through. That doesn’t change anything but what I’ll call it, and how I’ll ask for help. And no stranger on the internet would ever be able to determine what that’ll look like for me.

It sounds like what you’re looking for here is less advice, and more validation. And that’s fine and all - I mean, hell, half my blog rn is just System Quirks, showing off our valid selves. But… again. A stranger online giving you validation isn’t going to last. Only YOU can put your own doubts to rest.

Idk if I have amnesia, hardcore depressive amnesia (still amnesia btw), or some fucky brain chemistry. Idk who’s fronting sometimes - and sometimes I know who I am with too much clarity. Sometimes I’m alone, and sometimes I’m not. It sounds like the best answer is alters - but what if? What if what if what if-

Just stop! 💜 It’s okay to call it alters! “But what if it’s BPD-“ and what if a meteor strikes tomorrow? What ifs will just make you spiral. You need to find an answer and find faith in that.

“But what if I’m wrong?”

Then you’re human. It’s okay to be wrong. It’s okay to make those mistakes.

“But what if it sets me back?”

That’s okay too. Life isn’t a race. The goalposts are only your own. You can move them at any time, or switch games entirely.

It’ll be okay, Anon. I’d suggest seeking therapy if you can to have a more researched individual discuss BPD VS DID with you.

[legopenne]

Well, TPP’s having a rough time with depictions of race and gender, so now seems like a great time for me to throw my own little face-canons into the flames. Most of them are pretty light-hearted, dw.

Under the cut cause I have more of these than I realized

Right off the bat, this is set far in the future after a mass migration, so populations from all over the world have been mixed together pretty thoroughly. Where I'm going with this is that no character would be one distinct race, with recessive features like blonde hair or blue eyes almost gone and light skin being exclusive to places like really isolated colonies far from the sun. Got this idea from The Long Way To A Small Angry Planet, which is a really good book.

Idk the exact specifics of how the dome shields work, but I'm gonna go ahead and say Buddy's more tanned than Juno due to all her time sitting outside, barely shielded, on the planet closest to the sun. This doesn't really affect how they're drawn, cause it's still superseded by whatever their skin tones are, just a detail I thought of.

Alternatively, Vespa & Nureyev probably never tanned at all growing up, cause they're from the Outer Rim. I don't know anything about sun-exposure adaptation, but I think people further from the sun would be more prone to sun-burn, so whenever they go anywhere closer in orbit, they both cover themselves in sunscreen. They're incredibly careful about it, cause Nureyev's Nureyev and Vespa's a doctor.

Science on this might be a bit fucky, but maybe Buddy and Vespa got their genes tweaked when they were younger to make their natural hair colours red & green (respectively) for a cute team thing; so when they're reunited, there's no dye that's faded out, just a few more grey hairs than the last time they saw each other. Is this possible? Who cares, future science!

I like Rita as this short lady who's living her best life and decided to be some kid's secretary. But her voice kinda reminds me of Harley Quinn and just that first impression of her as a walking Barbie-doll airhead stereotype who is mysteriously crazy good at computers will never stop being amusing to me.

I read somewhere that your face will collapse if it doesn't have eyeballs supporting it, and I'm really torn between Juno having a prosthetic eye  or his face slowly shifting as it gets used to the empty socket because he isn't comfortable with the eye socket being full after the THEIA.

This is probably the heaviest one. Buddy and Vespa were famous thieves. They had enough money that Vespa could've gotten any gender-affirming treatments she'd want. Please keep in mind while drawing her that whatever body she has is one that she likes, no matter how you imagine her being or how much you love the traditional, sadistic narrative of "all trans people despise their bodies".

This one isn’t based on anything, I just like long-hair Vespa. Would she ever wear it down? Probably not. But specifically with the sides shaved, and just a long French-braid? Excellent.

Finally, Jet has grey hair. No clue how old he is, maybe he went grey early, but he's got it now and looks supremely dignified.

[veliseraptor]

Also I know you answered a beefleaf ship ask but here is another

maybe if I like...take these slowly I will feel less overwhelmed about it. (not actually accepting new ones! just trying to work my way through the ones left in my inbox.)

What made you ship it?

Look. I am a simple woman. You hand me a dynamic where:

there’s a strong contrast between personality types

there is an element of betrayal and/or deceit involved

antagonists who find themselves getting unexpectedly attached to their nemesis

ugly past emotional baggage of lives intertwined

tragic, messy endings

and I am so there.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

I mean. gestures at that list above? but I guess to pick one specific thing I think it would be the...triangulation of the Black Water arc, where Shi Qingxuan is one point of a triangle between their loyalty to Shi Wudu and their friendship with “Ming-xiong,” and He Xuan is another point of the triangle between his long-planned slow burn revenge plot and his apparent attachment to Shi Qingxuan, and Shi Wudu between them, the irreconcilable point of division.

And I’m just...always going to be a sucker for that moment where He Xuan visibly, purposefully, chooses revenge over attachment; where planned vengeance and hatred trumps affection for Shi Qingxuan, especially when it comes after multiple chances given to Shi Qingxuan to step away, even as they’re being lured deeper into the trap--

It’s just all so good and so tasty and I cannot wait to get there again on my reread even though I’m like. a book and a half away. so sue me.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I don’t...think so? I mean, this is definitely one where...I’ve interacted so little with the TGCF fandom at large outside of art, shitposts, and reading fic that it’s hard for me to get a sense of what’s popular/unpopular for them. I guess I wish I saw more gender-fucky He Xuan.

and, oddly, I wish more post-canon beefleaf got a little into Shi Qingxuan’s relationship with no longer being able to physically transform, which is weird because usually that kind of dysphoria/gender territory makes me twitchy but with them I want it. idk, probably because it’s also connected to overall loss of identity/self and need to rebuild? and that’s kind of more about Shi Qingxuan but...I’d love to see it explored in the context of post-canon beefleaf.

[chaos-monkeyy]

I...forget if I wondered at you. If I did, here is some extra wonder I guess! 💀🎠🔭

You had not previously wondered at me! 🤩

28💀. Are you afraid of horror movies? Some more than others? Which ones scare you or fascinate you or disturb you most?

Horror movies scare the shit outta me. 

Jump scare thriller stuff I’m okayyyy with, I guess, maybe, depending on the movie (like, Alien is an awesome movie! As is Predator. ..do those count as horror, idk), and I guess some of the more mind-fuck oriented ones I can enjoy? But I don’t know if the ones I like realllly count as horror, and gore / slasher films / movies based on real life horrific things / creepy-ass fucking dolls / horror murder clowns, absolutely no thank you. Those things, especially the really fucky violent ones, just make me feel so ill and then stick in my mind because my Brian is an asshole who likes to go “hey! remember that thing we really really hated? I’mma just sit here and think about it again while you’re trying to sleep”, like, for the next five years.

Oh! I do very much enjoy a surprising number of zombie movies, though? Probably because they’re never, ever, scientifically believable enough to actually scare me 😂 And I do love the absolutely ridiculous horror movies, like Tremors, all those Sand Sharks/Sharknado style movies, [Random Scary Thing In Spaaaaace - I can’t even remember what the latest one I watched was called but oh it was ridiculous and terrible], Zombeavers, Dead Snow, Black Sheep etc. Those are just so much fun 🤣

18🎠. Is there something about yourself that used to make you feel self-conscious, but now you rather like?

Hmmmm 🤔 Probably my height, and also my complete disinclination to dress and act as prescribed for my societally-assigned gender 😊

Also my glasses. Definitely those 🤓

17🔭. What is the last thing you learned or experienced that made you feel wonder about the world?

I’m lazy so I’m just gonna... send you over to this ask here 🙈

[steponmepinkjun]

I NEVER FINISHED MY STORY OMG. ok so i left off at being too proud to tell my friend she was right and kpop fucked hard. the difference between u and me is that i’m too good of a liar. too good. i kept up the “i hate kpop it’s cringe” facade for ALMOST TWO WHOLE YEARS, I SHIT YOU NOT. why? bc my dumb ass, extra ass, dramatic ass self thought “ok if i’m gonna have to deal with the embarrassment of admitting i’m wrong, i better do it in such an extra ass way it’ll knock ur socks off so hard that YOULL be the one embarrassed not me.” the original plan was to learn the entire choreography to bts dope, bc it’s the song that she told me to listen to and inevitably the song that got me into them, but later switched to bts fire bc i saw too many of those “choreo matches w any song” videos, and then her birthday party came up. and here’s the real kicker. her birthday is April Motherfuckin Fools. so it would be So Perfect for me to reveal my kpopism as a birthday present And a april fools prank in one. so i was Set on the Reveal being on april 1st, but the day rolls around and god that choreo is so fucking hard and i am Not a dancer. never have been. so i abandon that and go ykno what… i’ll do it Next Year. BC MY BITCHASS WAS LIKE NO THE MOMENT IS TOO PERFECT TO DO IT ON A NORMAL ASS DAY ITS GONNA BE ON APRIL FOOLS ON HER GODDAMN BIRTHDAY OR NOT AT ALL. a year rolls by, i’ve told most of our friends except her and they’re all in on it, i’d made so many subtle kpop references to her without her realising they were fully intentional and had too many scares where she almost figured me out but i lied my way out of it, and i’d given up on showing off with choreography bc i couldn’t make that shit look good. i’m not a dancer. i am, however, a rapper, and a damn good one, so i inhaled the agust d mixtape and decided i’d just rap the eminem of kpop’s anthem at her face. in korean. and change the lyrics at the end (if u haven’t listened to agust d, the bridge repeats “i’m sorry” a lot) to “i’m sorry i kept this from u for so long” and “i’m sorry i actually ult got7 not bts” (this was like the april after skz debuted ok i was holding onto got7 for dear life knowing full well skz we’re going to convert me smh) and the best part? she never saw it coming. her official present was a cd with a bunch of kpop on it but she thought it was just a personalised mixtape for her so i told her to play the first song out loud and she knew the song Instantly. it has a long intro so she was like “i guess u did listen when i recommended u this song!! i knew you’d like it since u like rap so much!!” and then i started rapping and i shit u not. she started SCREAMING. like the initial reaction was her jaw dropping and then instinctively covering her mouth but when i kept going and she realised i wasn’t fucking around she just fucking screamed like a banshee. at the end during the sorry bit i threw off my jacket to reveal a got7 shirt on the inside and she fell off her chair and started rolling around on the floor. needless to say it was every bit as satisfying as i thought it’d be LMAOOOO afterwards her ass was like “I CANT BELIEVE U HID THIS FROM ME FOR OVER A YEAR” and when i tried to explain my ego couldn’t take the “i told u so” she was like “you know i wouldn’t have made fun of you for it right? i would just be glad you’re not hating on my boys anymore” so basically i’m a big dramatic fool and she was always too good for me.

don’t mind the weird spaces here my ipad is being all fucky wucky w me rn. damn sad to hear ur sideblog experience didn’t go so well, i’d have shown u the cool side of the fandom if i knew 😤😤 leading u thru the cursed halls of kpop stan tumblr like a sketchy tour guide that’s actually 3 small raccoons stacked on top of each other like a trench coat, like “over here we have the fanfic writers that honestly need to publish a book, over here we have the gif makers that are responsible for my entire camera roll, if we take a quick swerve past the death threat anons and the twt fanwar screenshots - mind ur feet bub the 14 year olds were tryna make a grab for ur ankles - ah here’s the holy grail of shitposts, you might be here for hours, to the right we have the weird aussie side of the fandom that projects our childhoods onto chanlix but also all the members as we decide what their life in australia would’ve been like, and down there is a secret trapdoor to the blogs w endless random headcanons that will make you laugh, cry or blush depending on if the author woke up and decided to choose violence today. enjoy your Stay!” but then again i’m not so active on tumblr anymore (ngl you’ve become the highlight of my tumblr experience these days, interaction wise,) so maybe all my Local Hotspots are inactive now. i know a bunch of them are, it’s sad. “i don’t fw stan twitter for the same reason i don’t hang out in meth dens” oop. guess i’m a meth addict. no but i get u i rly do, it’s a hellhole out there, but the fact that things get shared and spread a lot easier than on tumblr and how short most things have to be (therefor keeping up w my adhd attention span without having to resort to the mental torture that is tiktok, with the added bonus of not always needing headphones.) that i just. couldn’t leave if i tried. maybe i should try being active on tumblr again but it’s a dying site in comparison.

“their music doesn’t consistently hit for me as much as skz” i’m sorry we can’t be friends anymore. what. what. you don’t dramama ramama ramama hey? you don’t feel a little jealousyyyyyy, naega anin? you don’t shoot out, shoot out, shoot out, or aremdaeun love killa love killa? you can’t be your hero du du du du du du du du du dududu? u disappoint me. literally like everyone i know who likes skz music likes mx music like it’s a rite of Passage. they’re kindred spirits, monsta x music is like skz’s music’s cool but mildly heterosexual older brother. neither of them know what a bad song is it runs in the family. and both their music runs in my VEINS. whenever i describe my music taste they’re always the first two that come to mind, skz being my number 1 bc they are my best boys but mx bc of the Flavour. pls listen to the entire the code album then get back to me 😤🙌 ok but fr ur so right they are 7 of the finest men i ever seen (yes i say 7 bc i’m including wonho cause he deserved better and i’ll die on my ot7 bullshit.) like don’t get me started on them either LOL i LITERALLY downloaded that one insta video of changkyun working out his back n arm muscles w his tattoo showing bc i needed that shit saved for Science. they could do Anything w me like frfr. yes vixx is the bdsm contract group i’m telling ya they wildin. or at least they were. it’s been years since their last comeback idk what they’re doing anymore tbh. and yeah that makes sense, savouring the hyperfixation i feel it, but also i’m so attached to skz that i never let it die. like i hyperfixate on other things and other groups but i will Always go back to skz cause they’re my homeboys. hell, they’re my home. being a predebut stay i’ve spent more time w skz than most of my actual family members at this point. but that’s just me you do u boo xx just know that if ur anything like me ur never letting go once skz it’s been my longest lasting fixation cause they hit like Nothing Else Do. ik i’ve already said that but i cannot stress it enough. they’re really special. i’m gonna stop here before i get all sappy and emotional bc i really love those boys so fucking much and i don’t drop the L bomb often. SIDE NOTE I WOULD LIKE TO SEE UR LIST OF GROUPS RANKED BY THORSt. i need to judge ur Taste. and omg cat&dog is such a guilty pleasure song bc the lyrics make me cringe so much bc while pet play can be fun they be doing it in more of an “i’m an innocent soft dogboy uwu” kinda way that just Does Not Sit Right with me. it comes back to the objectifying of asians that asians themselves don’t help in industries like these and maybe i’m looking too far into it when rly it is just wholesome n cute or maybe they are into some pet play shit idk idc i will bop to the song regardless but i will not acknowledge the lyrics nope.

YOURE RIGHT THO SKZ’S OPENNESS IS IN FACT, A BIG DEAL, i’ll grab them for u if u want but i found these twt threads of skz supporting the lgbt community and i just felt a special kind of happiness man like sure the delusional part of me likes going “haha they’re gay” bc my brain likes to imagine them as my polycule of mlm boyfriends bc sometimes thats what gives me the serotonin to get me thru the day ok don’t judge but also bc it’s nice knowing that yes i’ll never know them personally, but at least i can support them knowing they’d respect my gender identity and my pronouns, they’d respect who i choose to love, and that’s already more than the general public can say so shit, it is special! it’s special that they don’t treat being cishet like the norm - they constantly remove gender from their songs and speech entirely, they don’t assume all stays are female anymore, we don’t talk abt the babygirls incident cause we got babystays in the end outta that ok, and it’s just. so refreshing and important to me bc i can’t get that anywhere else!! like my semi ults are the boyz and while i love them very much and there’s no way all 11 of them are straight i refuse, i do get just a little bit sad whenever they she/her their fandom by default and call them their girlfriends n shit even tho i do still identify as a girl, i’m also genderfluid/nonbinary/transmasc, and i have a very love/hate relationship w my womanhood and rarely use she/her pronouns, cause it’s like, do you not see me? see us? the ones who aren’t cishet women? i mean i know kevin does bc he congratulated a fan who came out as nb but it’s just not the same as the openness we get w skz. like how do i trust cishets i could be supporting them as a queer person when in reality they’d call me a slur. what would i know, behind the screen? so it’s so good that skz go the extra mile to make it a safe space for everyone. this is already long enough i will reply to the second half of that ask in another message… tomorrow cause it’s 1am and i’m tired gn -felix bi anon

I'mma have to start putting these under a readmore so that i don't absolutely make everything who is still following me for some reason go totally fucking insane 😂

NDJDHWJJAHFNAKBSJSBFBHHDBDNAJD YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE FACES I WAS MAKING READING THIS, I WAS FUCKING CACKLING AND GASPING EVERY OTHER SENTENCE SO HARD THAT I SCARED THE CATS NDJWHSHSB the fact that you went "oh you want me to get into kpop? Give me a hot minute, and I'll give you a whole ass private concert for free" biduehsjdbd biiiiiiiiiiitch you're a fucking ICON, I stg I could NEVER 😂 (and not just because I couldn't find a tune if you gave me a printed set of Google maps directions and that I embody the steriotype that white people can't dance, like my sister kept sensing me tiktoks of the whole "dance like a white girl" trend going lmfao look it's you and eventually I was like "sis please this trend has me feeling like being white is a disability and these mothafuckers are being ableist 😭 also I could NEVER be that on beat so yall ain't even doin it right 😭😭😭😭"). Tbh if I told one of my friends (lol what friends, i got jokes) to get into Skz and they showed up at my bday and performed the entirety of I Got It I would simply shower them in money and go "aight everyone else go home, you are no longer needed, you are being laid off, your position has been eliminated, we're downsizing, the company is moving up and you're moving out, you are not qualified for this role any longer, best of luck with future endeavors" 😊

I think part of the reason I can't deal w Twitter is the exact reason I refuse to leave tumblr, in that I've been on tumblr since 2006 and twt since 2008, and tumblr literally has not changed at all, not even a little, whereas going from the early days of twt where there were no corporate sponsorships or ads and you had to manually copy and paste someone's tweet and @ them to retweet it, to how it is now, like 90% ads and showing me shit from the timelines of people I don't even fuckin follow n whatnot, it's just not enjoyable. Idk how anyone finds anything on twt, it confuses and frustrates me because I am old and have not adapted well to technology changing 😂 But arguably, the skz fanbase doesn't want me on skztwt anyways so like it works for both of us lmfaooo. I am old and cringey, and also still think of twt as stream of consciousness whereas tumblr is your teenage bedroom where you can decorate the walls with anything that interests you. I do really love the nonsensical kpoptwt shitposts tho fhshsbdjjss like it is a very specific flavor of mental instability that I enjoy immensely 😂 OH and also I initially misread part of that and thought you were saying you actually irl do meth and I was like 😳 WHAT DO I SAY TO THAT. HOW DO I HANDLE THIS. Like how do I express like "I wasn't being judgy of people who use substances cause I've been there but I was just being insensitive 😳" And then went back and reread it and was like WHEW, IM JUST AN ILLITERATE FOOL 😂😂😂😂 ejeywhdhrhjwbfbdjshdhdhd I spent like an hour bwign like "IS THE REASON WE GET ALONG BECAUSE THEY'RE ON METH???? WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS INFORMATION??????" hrhehshe I am literally a fuckin idiot it's fine

It's not that I don't fw them, it's more like... Okay so like there is no situation in which I am going to skip a skz song if it comes on shuffle. You will not ever catch me NOT in the mood to listen to Sunshine, if God's Menu comes on we are THROWIN the meager amount of booty meat I got hither and thither, I could be in the happiest mood of my life but if Ex comes on I will stop to SOB. And I'm not like that with most music, so mx just falls into the category of "there is a time and place." Idk why but it just doesn't forcibly grab hold of my heart and ass the way skz always does. I really don't WANT my skz fixation to ever end, but I know that eventually it'll stop giving me dopamine bevause my brain is my worst fucking enemy 🙃 like my arcana fixation is to date the longest running hyperfixation I've ever had, going on almost three years, and I used to not be able to spend every single second of every day thinking about Asra, but now... I just feel nothing when I look at arcana stuff. As you can probz tell by the fact that I hardly post arcana anymore 😂 So I know that eventually all my happiness will end, it always does, I can never stay just as obsessed with something as I was for long. I CANT SHARE THE LIST BECAUSE I DONT *HAVE* TASTE YET 😭 I'm basically just compiling a list of any group someone tells me I should look into, ranked by how strong the kitty purred upon googling pics of them 😂 My mom read my ass to FILTH over txt lmfao she was like "they're not that adorable. Maybe your standard for adorableness has gone down with You Know Who still on hiatus 🤔" bfjwhdhd like MOMMAAAAA THE LIBRARY IS CLOSED 😂 she attacks me any time I even hint at stanning other groups, she is a skz purist and stans skz only, unofficial Momma Stay of All Stays keeping me in check lmfao.

I feel like skz really do follow thru on their promise that they're a safe space for stays, it's nice to see that they hold space for anyone and everyone in their fanbase and do it in a really simple and elegant way, I feel. Like they never make it seem like "okay here are the fans and here are the token weirdos that were only recognizing to make a buck off of them" the way a lot of artists make it feel like 😑 like they don't go out of their way to act like it's some revolutionary act to do the bare minimum of not shitting on certain parts of the fandom, if that makes sense. They feel very "yeah, of course we love all our stays, this is a welcoming space for literally anyone, that's how it should be, that should be normal," instead of like "Hi fans we love you 😊 and special shoutout to you ell gee bee tee folk, make sure to buy my rainbow merch after the show!!!" you know? Like, they're the friends who would never make you feel weird or different for some shit, the friends that take the attention off you if something they know ur sensitive about comes up, instead of weirdly snapping at whoever brought the unfomfy thing up which ruins the mood and makes you feel tiwce as bad, yk? They just give off this vibe that they, and the space they create with their music, is just a genuine and chill place to be and hang out and relax and bond. I feel like they'd be the friend group that is so goofy and sweet and silly and accepting and lovely and always makes you feel loved and excited to be alive 🥺 They are all good noodles 🥺🥺🥺

[pooklet]

1: @bipolarmolarfanfiction​ hello friend! so, i don’t use the UC, my version of the game is the double deluxe version + all eps/sps and i’ve been using that for years with minimal issue (i say minimal rather than none cuz no version of ts2 is without issues). aaand i just installed windows 10 for the first time ever yesterday so i don’t know my way around the os at all yet. having said that, there are couple general problems that may be at work:

graphics rules: with newer systems and whatnot it’s downright necessary to have this installed with yr graphics card added to the list.

memory: yr computer might be struggling cuz win10 is the memory-hoggingest buttface, and playing an older game on top of that can make yr computer flip out. there are a bunch of tutorials on getting win10 to run less unnecessary shit behind the scenes and doing so might help improve the game’s performance.

processor: so, this was always more of an issue w/ games like diablo on wife’s old laptop, but when we were looking for a solution we found out that certain older games have trouble using all yr processor cores cuz they were made before that was even a thing, and get confused af by several cores. u could try setting yr computer to utilize less cores and it might improve gameplay! maybe! it’s not a guaranteed fix, more of a diagnostic tool, and u have to restart yr computer when u do it, but it’s something to try. here’s how u would go about doing so.

ok ignore what i said up there, here’s a much easier way of dealing with that problem.

general game performance improvements: back when i was gaming on a laptop, i used a lot of hialgo’s performance boosting applications to help with gameplay. they’re worth a try!

if none of that works, or u would just rather not deal with the UC’s extra glitchiness, lemme know and i can show you where u can get the more stable double deluxe version of the game.

2: hey anon! azaya and i actually got verdant skies in a recent steam sale! we’ve just been too hyperfocused on don’t starve together to play it just yet. but yeah i’m stoked to give it a try for the reasons u listed. and thank u for thinking of me!! you guys are always recommending such awesome games w/ lots of representation and the opportunity to avoid the “NOW CHOOSE A BINARY GENDER BEFORE U CAN MAKE YR CHARACTER” bs that is in sooo many games. it’s super sweet and i truly appreciate it so much. :))

3: ty so much anon, it’s so sweet of u to check in on me! and i hope you are feeling as well as you possibly can and getting the care that u need and deserve! i love lolling around in bed but, like, on my own terms!! being stuck in bed is the pits and i totally empathize.

my health has been ........ interesting. my hematologist wants me tested for hereditary hemorrhagic telangiectasia, and because my insurance company refused the testing, i had to change providers and find all new doctors for almost everything. my physical therapist, urologist and ophthalmologist think my tendency to sublux my joints at the drop of a hat, the ongoing battle with interstitial cystitis, and the fact that my immune system keeps trying to murder my eyeballs all points toward hypermobile ehlers danlos syndrome. recent blood tests proved that my hla-b27 antigen is fucky, so i’m finally going to see a rheumatologist who specializes in eds, rather than my previous one who was like “lol idk, have some pain meds and get outta my office“ so, like, fingers crossed!!

[dedicatedfollower467]

sensitive-americanx replied to your post :

hey quick question why do i project onto/relate...

I FEEL YOU!! For me personally it’s because I’m not interested in cute shit which wlw anime/manga mostly are (or fetishized bullshit) Also I don’t really identify myself with those cute anime and manga girls. I mean I am very feminine and like looking feminine but internally I’m just not.. cute I guess. And I’m not into cute girls either. Idk when you see any kind of relationship you either have to identify with one of them and/or be into one of them for it to be in any

way shape or form interesting to you. I hope this helps! I’m still trying to figure out my own reasons on why I’ve never been into all the wlw stuff that is out there.

oh yeah the identification thing is definitely a big part of it for me, i think? I’m only ever into mlm ships where i can see myself in one of the characters (although considering the characters i project onto i’m starting to worry about myself a little bit?????)

leninmeringuepiereplied to your post: hey quick question why do i project onto/relate...

IDK GENDER IS WEIRD. but also you might be into utena bc it really does play with gender roles in rlly fucky ways.

gender is SUPER WEIRD and i’ve seen a couple episodes of utena and they were pretty good but i didn’t GET INTO it the way i did with, for example, no. 6 or yuri on ice (or even fucking free which isn’t even actually all that fucking gay)

also hi it’s entirely your fault i started watching banana fish tonight which HEY GUESS WHAT I LOVE BANANA FISH AND IT’S NOT EVEN THE MLM CONTENT IT’S JUST A GOOD, TERRIFYING, AMAZING, DISTURBING SHOW.

splinteredstar said:

For me it’s because mlm tends to be more willing to explore… messiness?

Plus gender is weird

speaking of banana fish.... but yeah i mean... you’re right! wlw tends to be cute and sweethearted and when it’s not it’s just...... like lesbian punishment porn (looking at you, madoka) and mlm stuff definitely gets weird! and messy! and fucked up!

and sometimes that’s super not-so-good and fetishy and i’m always worried that my interest in trauma in stories about mlm is wrong and/or bad and/or fetishistic myself....

and like. this all kinda boils down to a thing i mentioned a while back about society’s expectations of men vs. society’s expectations of women. men are expected to be violent and stoic and cruel, and deviation into gentleness, vulnerability, and emotional chaos is the exception that proves the rule. whereas female characters are expected to be emotional, and sensitive, and empathetic, and when they’re not, they’re seen as non-conforming and “bitches” who act outside the norm.

idk i’m still mulling this all over in my head but yeah i think it literally boils down to i identify with the jerks with messy traumatic pasts in mlm ships, and i really don’t identify with the cold bitches in wlw ships and wlw media and especially not with the empathetic affectionate girls in those ships, so mlm jerks it is???

[allospiderman]

I just fucki n g saw someone say their dog is pansexual

Yea animals can be gay/bi but wh,, why would a dog be pan,,, like the whole pan thing is vv icky because it's supposedly "gender inclusive" even tho the same could be said for bisexual, but dogs r just male or female and they're instinct driven, so like,,,, why,,,,Idk as long as it's fictional characters imo people should be free to headcanon them however they want (unless they're canonically gay/bi) but i draw the line at real life living beings (this doesn't mean animals can't be gay - the stable I'm at has a lesbian horse - it's just I don't think you should hc animals and especially people as anything) Ok this is too long isn't it

[screaming-xeno-t]

GET TO KNOW ME TAG

Thanks to @td-b0yz for this tag~  <3

Rules: Answer 30 questions then tag 20 Blogs

Nicknames: Besides from a few of my friends occasionally calling me J-Hope (first name: Jade, middle name: Hope and no that’s not a lie), my real nickname is to embarrassing to tell you but that’s ok bc it’s barely used. People mostly just call me Jade.  Gender: Female Star sign: Capricorn ♑ Height: 5′2″  Time: 3:22pm Birthday: December 22nd Favorite bands: Kpop - Topp Dogg, Big Bang, 2ne1, EXO, BTS Non kpop - System of a Down, Rammstein, Hollywood Undead, Wardruna Favorite solo artists: GDragon, Taeyang, CL, Agust D, Jenissi, MINO, T.O.P, Serj Tankian, Elliphant, JJ Heller, Zella Day Song stuck in my head: HookGA by High4 20 and You Hoooo by Seungri Last movie I watched: Paris is Burning Last show I watched: While You Were Sleeping (Lee Jong Suk ily) When did I create my blog: August 18th 2016 What do I post: Topp Dogg (current & former members) mostly, and then some of any of the other groups I like. Last thing googled: How to find out when you set up your Tumblr lol Do you have other blogs: I have my Big Bang sideblog (@screaming-bigbang), my Lee Jong Suk aprreciation side blog (@screaming-leejongsuk) and my kind of studyblr acc where I just reblog some notes that I think will be useful at some point (@screaming-languages) Do you get asks: Sometimes, but I love it. Especially the shady ones lol Why did you chose your URL: was watching a ToppDogg live video with some friends and there was some girl in the audience just screaming her heart out (almost like she was being stabbed in the face they were some seriously screamy screams) but I could relate to her so I decided to change my url to screaming-toppdogg and then I just franchised it with my other blogs lol Following: 1,127 lol Maybe I need to clean that up a bit haha Followers: 370 <3 Favorite colors: Black, blue, red and orange Average hours of sleep: Depends. Some nights it’s 4, other nights it’s like 8 lol Lucky number: 2 Instruments: I used to play a bunch but gave up What am I wearing: I’m actually still in my pyjamas lol so black Harry Potter shorts and a blue Harry Potter tshirt lol How many blankets I sleep with: 4. I have more but they’re in the attic..... Dream job: Makeup artists for Big Bang LOL (emphasis on dream haha) Dream trip: China, Japan, Korea and Iceland, Norway, Sweden and Denmark Favorite food: Chicken lol Nationality: Irish Favorite song right now: IDK I HAVE SO MANY but Okey Dokey by MINO is giving me life right now tagging: @kkeysbum @kmsmitty @divinaxcommedia @gdislovegdislife @earthlyhansol @lapillity @xxopuddin @asexualkimhansol @diaryofalonelydiva @youcanttaketheskyfrommee @a-sadcherryblossom @itsachocolatecake @zombietwink fucki it I can’t make it to twenty lol tag yourself if you want to join lol

[whifferdills]

“World Enough and time” quicktakes:

fuck dudes what if the Xmas special is a “Caves of Androzani” thing where the Dr is basically dying the whole time. that'd explain the dramatic 'noooooo', bc this Dr Who i feel isn't a 10 Dr sort of, fuck you i need THIS ME to live, but in the context of 'i can't do the regeneration tango rn i have work to do' it makes sense

god i love generational ships. this ep doesn't quite nail it but i love that SF trope

MISSY. who is Doctor Who, with her plucky assistants/expendables. i am in love. "Think of the age gap" fuckin

"Nardole, do something non-irritating," says Dr Who, eating snacks. all my Twelvedole headcanons are basically canon now

"Time Lords are friends, everything else is cradle-snatching." you could do a meta on the Time Lord take on intimacy using that line alone.

Friends above all else. And the Dr and Missy are very, very old friends

"You're probably handsome, aren't you. Well congratulations on your relative symmetry." I love Missy ok

"And if I'm in the shower, just bring me some beans on toast. That's....that's roughly human flirting, right?" MISSY.

her accent ramping up on "this ridiculous exercise" right i just really love Missy

Dr Who's real name is Dr Who. the meta nods, i'm livin. "I'm cutting to the chase baby, I'm streamlining, I'm saving us ac-tu-al minutes." *dab* M I S S Y

"Are you eating?" yes, yes they are. luv this hungry boy

Nardole was Blue, once. what the fuck is Nardole

"Is this the emotion you call...spanking" holy shit Missy please i cant

i love how the Dr's speech is just cut off, it reminds me of - i think it's an Indiana Jones? where the one dude is like *dramatic sword flourishing* and the other dude just straight-up shoots him

like i know it'll end up ok but BILL NO. this moment doesn't quite feel earned - like maybe if more of the writers had really used her? but it kind of just feels shitty and cheap. horrifying, but it woulda landed better if she'd been more present beforehand. see also: how "Heaven Sent" woulda worked better if Clara hadn't been fridged or off away wherever i really wish we'd had more 12&Bill moments. i love what we get here, just that shoulda happened all season

nice kitchen. looks like an Aalto-Shaam and a salamander, plus fryer and misc. decent set-up for a college cafeteria.

"What's so special about her?" "I don't know." "Yes you do." "Are you having an emotion?" See THIS is what i want this Team TARDIS to be and i'm so mad we're only getting it now

Twelvedole is canon tho look @ these 2 obnoxious boys

and fuck that scene w/ 12 and Bill just chatting about crushes i wish we'd had more of that

i feel like 12 has eaten more on camera than any other dr who, i am here for this hungry boy who drops chips on their lap

"she was my man-crush - I think she was a man back then" all the gender-misc sexuality-misc stuff yes YEs like sure it's clumsy but it's CANON

"but you still call yourselves Time...Lords." "Yeah shut up." seriously why did we not get more of 12 and Bill hanging out

the PACT to see ALL OF THE STARS anyway Best Enemies is real

i love Bill admitting that she's scared, and doing the thing anyway. Bill in a nutshell right there

oh GOD the body-horror of the Cybermen and the VOICES uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhghghgwaghfgejf nope

"Wait for me" oh way to use hope to fuck someone up again. why, why dude

on first watch i did not at all suspect that this dude is the Master in disguise, i’m a dum-dum

so this hurts more on re-watch

and after input from smarter people - the disguise the Master uses is sort of...like it edges into a hinky area. dunno if it's anti-semetic as such (im not an expert, just it feels fucky on second viewing) but it does flirt with those tropes a lot and w h y would you go there

ffffffuck the converted people just screaming out best they can that they're in pain, and then being silenced. this is for me probs the most directly horrifying thing DW has done since, idk, "Midnight"? been a while, anyway. fuck, dudes

so i know it's the Master now but i do really love the relationship Bill has with Master-In-Disguise. it's a trick, a trap, but it also feels almost...genuine. they have a dynamic, Bill believes in it and i'd be almost be willing to believe the Master does too, despite themselves

Nurse Ratched continues to terrify audiences. the self-assured evil-nurse trope, like. is it cheap? yes. is it fucking me up? also yes. (my favorite aunt is a nurse, i’ve had a lot of - like not good experiences, but experiences where the nurses saved the day best they could; i love nurses but ALSO this trope ok ok ok aw geez)

the body-horror in this episode continues to be OFF THE CHARTS like this is as if someone asked me 'what deeply upsets you' and then they made an episode about it holy fuck

why's Dr Who fucking around for so long if they already know the bottom is much faster and Bill's down there for years like fuck off, be succinct, cough it up. 12 is every waiter i've ever dealt with as expo like - just FUCKING SAY WHAT YOU NEED don't dick around

i do really love Bill here. that mix of needing to leave and wanting to stay, or vice versa

V E N U S I A N  A K I D O. they've got hidden talents and hidden arms

the graphics in this episode are nice that black hole is nice somebody put some work in there

speaking of the assets - Murray Gold nearly on a Phillip Glass tip here. that sort of dissonant orchestral thing. you could rescore this with the soundtrack to Koyaanisqatsi, easily

god that Cyberman voice is...so upsetting. again, always. fuck that shit. this does have a big Spare Parts vibe, with the dying world trying to save itself and the semi-volunteers. it's not quite as emotionally crushing as Spare Parts but it does angle towards that whole...yknow

"aw, sorry mate, guess what I'm about to do" like even knowing what he is, what this situation is, this is such a pure Bill moment and i love it

DONT U DARE DO ANYTHING TO BILL I SWER

but fuck dudes this is ultra horrifying this is so bad and i like it bc i'm confident it'll end up ok but god oh god oh no Bill i wish that hadn’t happened

Missy/Master sure is a thing. i'm really hoping Missy is stronger than that now, better than that now

fuck my emotions are all over the place

A  M O N D A S I A N  C Y B E R M A N

that Master reveal was straight out of Classic Who

"You've met the ex" / "I waited for you" oh shit oh no

NEXT TIME: my soul dies, everything is bad, aw fuck

[intellectually-voluptuous]

this has been in my drafts for several months

i was tagged by @etudias​ :) and i completely forgot this was in my drafts whooops guess i’ll just update it and post it now because better late than never amiright

rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag 20 blogs you would like to get to know better.

nickname: soap, sof, sofa, softie, sofasaurus, sopfop, fiso, lucy, doophyll, mistlehoe ... there are a lot lol

star sign: capricorn

height: 5′9″

last thing i googled: albert camus quotes shut up i rly love existentialism

fave music artist(s): ooh this is going to be a lot but Regina Spektor, dodie, Jon Cozart, Tessa Violet, Pentatonix, Lin Manuel Miranda, Carrie Hope Fletcher, and then a bunch of classical music/musicals: Hamilton, Kinky Boots, [title of show], Holst, Chopin, Debussy, Tchaikovsky, Vivaldi ...

song stuck in my head: Love Yourself, but the swing cover by dodie and andie (look it up! it’s gr9)

last movie i watched: White Christmas La La Land ^_^

last tv show i watched: SHERLOCK AND IM GONNA WATCH SEASON 4 TONIGHT ASHDIDHFKJDNV can you tell i did this ages ago when i still had hope for season 4 but actually it was the fucky problem aka the end of the season (i don’t watch any shows other than sherlock lol i’m not a tv person)

when did you create your blog: earlier this year but I can’t for the life of me remember the month >.>

what kind of stuff do you post: studyblr stuff as well as random nerdy posts/articles that catch my fancy or are related to what I’m studying in school

do i have any other blogs: ohh boy. I kinda have a problem where I create way too many blogs I have a theme blog: @girlswhotheme. Then the ones I’m most active on are @musings-of-a-retired-unicorn (soft pinkish aesthetic/lgbt things), @harryandhislittledragon (hp obvi), @sherlockloveshisblogger (sherlock/johnlock), @girlinthegalaxysweatshirt (dark space aesthetic) and @fjordsofsalmon (scandinavian aesthetic)

do i get asks regularly: literally never

why did i chose my url: I’m in the IB Diploma Programme and I aspire to be as productive and studious as Hermione. I think she would have been in IB if she wasn’t a witch.

gender: girl

hogwarts house: ravenclaw with a healthy dose of slytherin

pokemon team: lol what’s pokemon

favorite color: purple, turquoise, blue, some shades of pink ...

average hours of sleep: during school, 4-7. Ideally, 9-10.

lucky number: 13

favorite characters: hermione granger, kaz brekker, anne shirley (of green gables), susan sto helit, death (terry pratchett), jo march

how many blankets do i sleep with: 1

dream job: actress, computer programmer, english professor, astronomer, astronaut, organic chemist, bookshop owner, ... I have a lot of dream jobs lol but I’m actually going to try to be an actress/computer programmer

following: 330

tagging: idk lol i’m terrible at tagging people but @nkbstudies @narglestudies because they’re the last studyblrs whose blogs i visited and anyone else who wants to do it :)

[dandymeowth]

More “wtf REGs” posts, captions under cut.

In the first post we see an aphobe stating that inclusionists don’t contribute anything and therefore don’t belong, are wrong, etc. 

Which is some hilariously capitalist type bullshit; valuing people, defining their worth based on whether or how much they “contribute” is some hot nasty garbage that targets the marginalized on a regular basis. It’s another example of these types just recycling oppressive rhetoric, a matter of kicking down.

Let alone defining whether we’re properly LGBT+ or just oppressive traitors based on how much we can contribute has all sorts of fucky implications to it. But I can’t expect much from aphobes anymore.

(Not to mention that since most major LGBT+ organizations accept asexuality, inclusionists obviously contribute.)

The second post started with some regular acephobic bullshit that isn’t anything new, but in the replies known aphobe figuregayting states that same gender attraction is required of bisexuals otherwise we’re just fetishisizing nonbinary people (sorry agender and nonbinary bisexuals I guess we don’t exist), that it’s impossible to be attracted to a binary gender and other genders rather than both binary genders and other genders. 

Which also isn’t anything new but they brought in a lovely twist where if a man were to be attracted to women and dated a DFAB nonbinary person, they’re still straight and can’t call themselves bi because they’re still “just attracted to women”. 

They claim the man would be misgendering them by dating them, while simultaneously saying the man can’t call himself bi for it, which is... some hilarious shit because like, you might have a point on the misgendering if the guy insisted on his straightness despite their identity, but you outright say he’s not allowed to identify as bi “just because of finding someone of another gender attractive” (even though that’s the fucking definition of being bi but lol). 

So who’s actually misgendering the person - the asshole saying their man partner is still straight no matter what their gender is because they’re DFAB either way, or the man wanting to identify as bi now that he’s found he’s attracted to someone of a different gender? Seriously.

Again, captions are under cut:

Three screencaps showing two different posts, the first cap being of a post by menacinglavenderr, and the next two being of replies on a post by sapphics.

The first screencap reads:

menacinglavenderr: find me one ace inclusionist that contributes anything to the wlw and mlm communities that isn’t cutesy pastel edits and posts about how not having sex won’t get you sent to hell

bihets: i mean people aren’t only worthy of being in wlw/mlm communities and deserving of resources based on how much they ‘contribute’, that’s some neoliberal capitalist bullshit right there

that said, like… glaad and the trevor project are both MASSIVE lgbt+ organizations that are ace inclusive, so idk what your point is

autistictaramaclay: the op is so specific too. like .. how abt u name an ace exclusionist that’s done things for the wlw and mlm communities?

menacinglavenderr: um, aces are the ones in a privileged group. you don’t get to demand anything from me bc I’m oppressed and aces aren’t. also, you have no fucking right to talk back to me like that.

autistictaramaclay: “aces are the ones in a privileged group” ah yes, i, the trans poc aro, am privileged. all aces and all aros are privileged no matter what, purely because theyre ace or aro. ok

aphobephobe: “Don’t talk back to me like that” you’re not it’s mother, so you can just stop yourself right there and maybe try not to act like the Queen of Everything Who May Not Be Disagreed With.

The next two screencaps have annotations to them and added emphasis, and read as follows:

figuregayting: You need same gender attraction to be bi. A cis guy attracted to women and women aligned people dating a nb person who’s afab isn’t LGBT, he’s just a cis guy ignoring his partners gender orientation. It’s gross and doesn’t make you LGBT @angry-gay-fish

[”If you’re attracted to women and date a DFAB person you’re not LGBT+ because that’s basically just dating another woman”???]

angry-gay-fish: I feel like it’s kind of gross to require the knowledge of someone’s gender assigned at birth before someone can count as LGBTQ+ Why are we ignoring the nb person’s identity? It shouldn’t matter what they were assigned at birth– what matters is what they are now.

figuregayting: No, you’re not understanding. A cis man who is otherwise straight in a relationship with an afab nb person is not LGBT. The nonbinary person is LGBT because they’re nonbinary. He isn’t LGBT just because he’s dating a nb person. That’s what we’re saying.

[Nonbinary people should be considered like binary people in event of relationship with cis people so we can still call them het and fake bi for dating someone who's "still basically (fe)male"]

angry-gay-fish: No, because you’re still saying that what really matters is what they were assigned at birth. If that same nb person were amab, would you say the same? You shouldn’t have to know a person’s assigned gender– it doesn’t matter– all that matters is what they identify as.

figuregayting: …. no I wouldn’t say the same if they were amab because that would make their boyfriend bi ?? ["No, see, by dating a DMAB person he's dating the same gender so he is sga and counts! It doesn't matter if they don't identify as a man, it's still gay because they're basically a guy."] It literally does fucking matter what their agab is when we talk about fetishization. Not all nonbinary people are androgynous. There will always be trans people who don’t pass and gross people who fetishize them hone in on that?? It absolutely does matter and you shouldn’t talk about things you don’t understand.

A cis straight man who starts dating an obviously afab nonbinary person [wtf is “obviously dfab”?] can’t just start calling himself bi once he dates the nonbinary person because he’s most likely fetishizing them and not actually respecting their gender, and that’s why it matters what their agab is. He’s not LGBT for ignoring someone’s gender orientation what the fuck

["you can't call yourself bi if you find out you're attracted to more than one gender, sexuality and orientation is static so you to have identified as bi first and foremost in order to ever be actually bi"]

angry-gay-fish: Woah, hang the fuck on don’t tell me I don’t understand– I’m nonbinary too– you don’t know my experiences and you have no right to tell me that I don’t have a right to talk about this because if effects me too. Yes, people can fetishize nonbinary people, however, by requiring the knowledge of theire agab, all you’re doing is ignoring their gender identity, which is really wrong and misgendering. By saying that that guy is still straight what you’re saying to that nb person is “you’re still really just a girl”

I feel like it’s not really okay to just assume that this person is fetishizing their partner. I mean, this guy very well could have dated other nb people before this one? And he’s not ignoring their gender identity, you are by saying that it doesn’t matter and only their agab matters. Do you see what I mean?

["It is impossible for someone to be bi if they don't like the same gender, it doesn't matter that there's more than 2 genders because you're basically a girl/guy and that's how we're going to see you when a person is dating you so we can properly judge who is and isn't actually bi. Being a man into women and other genders but not men isn't possible, by dating DFAB people you're still just dating women no matter their gender, so you're actually straight."]

diskhorsedudes: Reducing nb people to their agab is like reducing them to their genitals and what kind of rhetoric does that sound like folks? I think you can guess without me saying. Anyways, that’s the issue with “sga”. It’s damaging to nb that aren’t aligned with men and women and can even be damaging to intersex people. Y'all are putting that on nb people without their consent and that’s like misgendering. It’s like y'all see us as just watered down men or women. I really wish exclusionists would drop that argument because it just makes them look enbyphobic and makes them sound terfy/truscummy.