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meowsticmarvels · 1 year ago

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hello mcsm community. this is a repost of a long ass twitter thread i made so i apologize in advance if its formatted weird (and sort of disorganized). but heres some of my Thoughts and analysis on radar. i have much more to say than just this of course but HERE WE GO! radar insaneposting tumblr edition. long post incoming (i worked very hard on this)

ANYWAYS!

- he idolizes the new order and puts them on a pedestal above himself a bit. i mean from some dialogue it's clear he doesn't have the highest opinion of himself but he treats the new order smiliarly to how they felt about the old order in thw wither storm arc

- i have mentioned this several times but the "prison radar" thing definitely comes across to me as him trying to overcompensate (and mimic those he sees as "strong" like petra and jack) sort of. like if you contextualise it with how a lot of the characters called him weak an episode prior and it definitely seemed to have an impact on him its like. yeah. especially being thrown into a situation like w/ the sunshine institute and the whole iron breathtaker thing that has Got to fuck you up. idk i jusy see a lot of people take that at face value like "oh look he's being silly" when it comes across to me as more like insecurity ig?

- hes so autism its unreal

but yeah the whole thing kinda fucks him up

ig the only thing thay kinda bothers me is that arc doesnt feel finished. and also jesse can ENCOURAGW him to act like someone hes not??? OH AND. id like to point out this thing also involves him trying to break his own strict patterns which is p interesting to me. by this i mean the "disregard my bedtime! break whatever rules I feel like! within reason!" he seems to feel that in order to become stronf he has to be like. less caring of the rules w/e but the "within reason" line and the fact that he dislikes things being disorganized still is like. he doesnt Want to act like this. he doesnt seem to like thag but he feels iys the only way he can be strong and adapt to such a lifethreatening situation (to act like someone he clearly isnt)

another point id like to make is his relationship with Stella. it isnt really explored past this one scene in episode 2 of s2 but god there's a lot to unpack here

"you'll never change" - has stella... always been like this? even when radar worked under her (which HAS to be at least a year before s2 bc apparently he's been working for jesse for about a year)

also she calls him a "quitter" which. 1. has a negative connotation meaning that she Does Not Approve of him leaving 2. implies he quit of his own accord. this isn't normal former boss/former employee interaction though something definitely happened. like theyre both Weirdly Hostile and this is never brought up again....... ehat happened.

also "he doesn't even know how to use a sword" this part stuck out to me but Considering this thing i noticed a few months ago about how the mcsm world is very. survival oriented and people who can slay powerful monsters (i.e. old order) are looked at with high respect. so basically she's calling him weak here which is. Huh. also "you don't know anything" girl what happened.... why does radar feel he has to prove himself like that...

"id be careful about counting on him for anything" what did she mean by this. did radar fuck up in some way unintentionally and it pissed stella off or something??? because something clearly happened and im very sad this is never explored further bc this is a fucking interesting plot point.

also. the last image...... this is so fucking interesting regarding radar as a character because it does actually provide context for the whole prison radar thing. like holy shit this says a lot. the first line kinda shows his insecurity already. he's aware people don't believe in him and think he's weak and a coward, but he's going to try anyway. he feels he has to prove himself kinda.. like "you'll see! i can do it watch!" and considering his behavior in this episode it shows. he's overcompensating for that fear and trying to prove that he can be enough to make a difference. especially shown by how he reacts when "Vos" tells him he's not up for the task. he's trying, it isn't enough, so he decides to mimic his heroes and pretend to be someone he isn't (which... unfortunately half the cast doesn't take seriously)

the second line proves my points more. "im not the person she thinks i am anymore" raises a lot of questions on what happened ofc but there's also the "I can be different. Braver. If that's what the situation requires... I'll do it." and guess what! he *does* do that! a combination of pressure from people telling him that he can't do it and he'd just get hurt in the process and is too weak and cowardly to really do much + the stress of the situations he's thrust into seems to sort of catalyze his decision to put on the "prison radar" persona and pretend to mimic his heroes and act strong to not only make a difference and mean something but also to survive The Horrors . but he doesn't want to do this, that isn't who he is as a person, moreso what he feels he has to do. also thinking of pne line where he says something abojt the "incredible misery in the world crushing down on you". like this is a random throwaway line?? clearly the entire situation of s2 is Getting to him but he never really gets to Express that

now ofc like i mentioned this arc is in no way perfect. it's fucking interesting but it feels unresolved and forgotten by episode 5 along with the other characters completely ignoring the fact that that isn't who he is along with jesse even praising that in some dialogue options. like the writing of this kinda confuses me because everything radar says and feels up to that point implies that it's a façade built to be what others want him to be and as a stress response but some later things kinda treat the way he acts as a Good Thing and like ???? like i get it if they wanted to do the "being more courageous" arc sure. fine. but this doesn't seem like it was simply written as that. he does Not usually act like how he does during the "prison radar" thing and its just never addressed. which fucks me up bc this is personally one of my favorite character arcs of mcsm due to how complicated and insane it is + hes one of my favorite characters ever and i relate to his issues a lot but instead thw writings kinda ????? but yeah. its always bothered me really but to be Fair mcsm was hit by a lot of budget cuts that affected the plot like dont even get me started on the scrapped assistant to the warden who sesms to be meant to be the antithesis to radar kind of... and im p sure some episodes had different writers. so yeah this sucks but it isnt gonna piss me off that bad I just wish his arc was handled a bit differently. might potentially write something or w/e about this but anyways if you read this entire thread 1. you're insane 2. we do a little trolling. follow me mcsm truthers

original tweet thread here: https://twitter.com/rival_trevor/status/1659130820999753730?s=20

#mcsm #minecraft story mode #mcsm radar #radar mcsm #minecraft story mode radar #please reblog i worked very hard on this... im insan #also i am a radar autism truther #long post #character analysis

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fereldanwench · 11 months ago

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so since i had the tower ending available to me, i figured i'd run through it

disorganized, spoilery thoughts under the cut

so a few world-state items of note:

valerie had no romance (ofc)

valerie did the parade and saved goro (ofc)

valerie never met kerry

valerie didn't help judy with the clouds stuff so judy was also not a friend to call

valerie did have panam and river available as friends

valerie and johnny were very much not friends

i had only seen the ending with a friendship johnny, so getting to experience the rival dialogue was actually really cool. i did record the whole thing so i'll probably upload some clips from that and muse on it properly, but yeah, i love it when valerie and johnny fight. i loved being able to have her call him a narcissist 10/10. and i like that i could play her as still somewhat sympathetic to his situation

i love 2079 reed. his tie and office bod are precious <333

since valerie had no romance, i did get to hear goro during her in-and-out-of-consciousness scenes, which i absolutely loved

i knew about river and panam's phone calls/msgs and neither one of them are actually that close to valerie so the emotional impact there for me was minimal

much like with the devil ending, though, i wish goro was at least listed in her phone, even if it went to a disconnected number in 2079. valerie did tell him she was going to go with hanako prior to this, so having some kind of 'hey, are we doing this thing' msgs from him in 2077 would have been cool.

and like there seems to be some recognition from the devs that players who didn't get attached to any of the romances or had any other friends likely had some degree of fondness towards goro--hence using his voice in the coma. so once again, it just feels like there's missing content from him, basically. not even asking for romantic stuff here either--just more platonic interactions would have been very much appreciated!!!!

vik's situation depresses the hell out of me, even moreso than v's, although i did love getting to spend more time with him and see a different side to him just for characterization purposes. i loved the employee eval on his computer that said he talks to patients too much, because MUSE FUEL MUSE FUEL MUSE FUEL

(i'm actually in the process of working on some story sets for the events that happen directly after the heist, and vik gossiping to goro has been on my mind since the 'vik likes to talk' line v can deliver so this just compounded that)

connecting with misty briefly does kind of heal the soul a little at least

seeing valerie un-chromed and with a shaved head was pretty jarring, although not as much as seeing her in those clothes lmao. like wtf did the fia do with the clothes she arrived in??? even if she wasn't in top form, she would still make an effort to look somewhat nice going to see an old friend but i mean, i get it, at this point my vision of valerie is so beyond the possibilities of the game's potential characterizations for v

i also have a glitch in my game in which she's constantly holding a pistol during some cutscenes lmao so uh having randos try to beat her up while she's visibly armed was odd

the devil ending is still valerie's canon so this was just a curiosity playthrough, but i am somewhat intrigued by the possibility of another AU/alternate timeline for her and goro playing off these events.

the obvious scenario would be valerie becoming a fixer and goro becoming her bodyguard after they work out their shit since goro is clearly unhappy in 2079 lmao, but this ending plays on the convenient-lack-of-communication tropes that i fucking hate in stories (like really, the FIA couldn't find a way to get in touch with v's friends and let them know what's going on? i don't buy it) so it'd require a lot of rework for me.

and i really can't see valerie willingly going with the FIA, particularly after she told goro she was gonna go with arasaka, so i think a lot of that would have to change too

but idk, it's not a priority. i like having the AU stuff to tinker with when i need a break from their canon, which i currently do not. maybe it'll be like the nomad AU and suddenly hit me out of nowhere :3

but yeah im glad i experienced it for myself since there can be so many little personalized variations, but i also feel kinda out of sorts because it just felt really OOC for valerie and there were some major downers there, lmao. i feel like i need a bit of a palette cleanser

OH and i liked rogue taking nibbles, that was a pleasant surprise

#t: wench games #g: cyberpunk 2077 #oc: valerie v powell #pl spoilers

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adhdxxsdiary · 2 years ago

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Hi! In the past year or so i've started believing that I might likely have adhd and told my parents about it this week. Apparently I'm gonna be taken to get it checked by a doctor soon ish but the thing is, I don't relate to ALL the symptoms, mostly the random videos that say “if you do this you have adhd” and it's stressing me out so much and I don't know why, I feel guilty about it because it feels like I'm using this possible adhd to justify the things I do and a way to be the quirky girl when… i don't think I am? Idk, it just feels now that I'm faking everything. Idk how to explain, I just feel very anxious about the whole situation. Any tips?

You don't have to relate to all the symptoms, but those symptoms that are present, they must present in various settings (I.e. both at home and at school) and they must be causing you significant distress. If it helps write down all the most significant impairments that ADHD has in your life. In what way are they impairing you? Are they persistent and do they cause you distress? Think of some examples to give to the interview before you go, of how ADHD manifests in your life every day (bad grades, very impatient, loses things all the time, forgets important deadlines, hyperactive mind and racing thoughts, difficulty falling asleep due to hyperactivity, disorganized, difficulty following verbal instructions etc.). Once you organize these symptoms down, you might get some confident to speak up for yourself.

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liwia-sims · 3 years ago

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(I had to vent a bit about real life stuff, but I didn’t mean to write so much 😬, so I’m putting it all under the cut)

I swear every time I get some energy and motivation to work on simblr stuff, multiple people at my workplace fall ill, which means I have to cover a bunch of extra shifts. 😒 I wish I had one of those jobs that you can do from home or something, so I wouldn’t have to worry about covering other peoples shifts to keep the place from falling apart everyone someone gets a freaking cold!!!!

Not saying people should come into work when sick, just saying that the whole system is very frustrating to deal with! My boss and coworkers are all wonderful people and hard workers that step up and help out in these situations too, so I have no issues with them!

I don’t miss school, but I do miss having a consistent weekly schedule and some sense of routine. I miss knowing that at the end of the week I’d have a guaranteed two days to spend how and where I wanted.

I don’t hate my job. I like it, but I feel like it’s kind of making everything in my life feel messy and disorganized. I’m actually considering quitting and start studying again. I'm just scared that I’ll fail and it’ll all be a big waste of time and money. But unless I want to work in retail for the rest of my life I have to (at the very least) finish my high school education some day, so why not now? And if it goes well, maybe I could continue studying and get an education to become a librarian?

Idk, I’m having so many thoughts right now. It’s probably too late to apply to any courses for this semester anyway, but maybe for the next semester? At least I have plenty of time to think about it.

(Sorry about this incoherent mess of a post btw! 😆)

#nonsims #my posts

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moonlitmessages · 4 years ago

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Reasons I think Saeyoung has ADHD

- Messy house. Hard to keep it clean. Everything just kinda piles up and he relies on Vanderwood to not live in a pig sty.

- He says early in his route (day five first story mode I think. When Vanderwood is first introduced) he says that Dr. Pepper helps him focus. He drinks it and gets super focused, but then the mess piles up even more because of the soda cans.

- Super smart, especially about very specific niches. I mean he's smart in general but also has his Thing™ (this can be applied to both ADHD and the autistic spectrum. )

- Insomnia. This is part of his work obviously as well but he's clear about the fact that his sleep schedule is hecking out of whack.

- Can't focus?? Let's do everything besides the thing we need to do. Even though it will do nothing to help the situation at hand.

- Cars. Going nyoom down the road could help with stimulation and sensory issues that come with ADHD. Something about the speed just makes it make sense.

- Hyperfocus. "Don't bother me I'm trying to work". Being so focused on work that he doesn't take the time to really even order a hot meal. Forgets to eat and sleep sometimes because of it. (a lot of instances it's simply that he CAN'T or he won't meet deadlines too so that also has to be kept in mind). Building robots out of thin air too is an example.

- Inattentive. When not super focused its almost like a disinterest in anything. His focus is on MC? Well gotta do something for MC. She'll like a flamethrower pup. That will keep her safe. Wait no it wont...I thought it would tho. Gotta work!! No but MC isn't safe. (Inattentive to his work cause super focused on MC)

Symptoms of ADHD include:

Disorganization

- This goes along with the messy house. There’s a picture where he’s shown surrounded by chip crumbs. Vanderwood claims that his couch smells like soda. There are likely aspects in which he can actually be quite organized, but those would likely be in reference to his job, and computer/automotive repair.

Lack of focus

- This happens a little bit through different routes, where he complains about not being able to focus and doing some procrastinating, but for the most part the biggest example is the very beginning of his route where his focus is faltered because his mind is on MC. While that is a normal reaction to have for anyone regarding what was going on, it can’t be ignored that 1.) He WAS unfocused to the point he couldn’t do anything besides worry, or work on things that ‘Could help protect MC” regardless of if they were useful or not. and 2.) Dr. Pepper is part of the reason he is able to focus on things when he DOES focus. He says this himself in the first story-mode for his route. That he drinks it, then gets super focused. Caffeine has been proven to actually help the ADHD brain focus.

Act or speak without thinking

- “Im leaving the RFA”, breaking the RoboCat, and some of his procrastinating during his route could be considered put into this category. Also, I know he is by all technicalities saying things with thought in regard to MC when he’s saying hurtful stuff, however I still think it could be put in here because while it was said with the thought “I want to make sure MC stays away from me so she will be safe,” it’s without thinking about how he feels/what he wants and he ends up regretting it down the road.

Restlessness

- Lets see, he has trouble focusing and when he can’t focus he ends up doing other stuff to keep his hands and mind busy. He has sleep troubles. I doubt he can sit still very easily if he isn’t super-focused on something life-or-death and/or a special interest. A good example could once again be the robo-animals he built. His focus was somewhere else, there’s little he can do to remedy the situation, he gets restless and tries to occupy himself with something he CAN focus on.

Difficulty coping with stress

- Source: His Whole Route

Mood Swings

- What I’m seeing as mood swings could also just easily be his stress and anxiety in the situation during his route causing him to bounce back and forth/ the mask he tries to put up to protect MC from getting involved with him being thrown up when he feels like he’s letting her to close. But nonetheless there are points where he will just seem sad and melancholy then get angry.

Anxiety

- I mean idrk how to explain this one for him, I don’t necessarily think that he has social anxiety, but maybe general anxiety (tho I’m not really sure how to explain how I see that in him) but regardless when he does experience pressure, he seems to have heightened anxiety levels. It just makes sense in my head so take this one a little lighter than the others.

Low self esteem

- ‘I’m not a good person” “Why do you like me?” I would say that when it comes to his looks he’s fairly confident. But when it comes to his personality (I mean he has a whole identity crisis) and actions, it’s a whole other story. He puts himself down a lot because he genuinely thinks that he doesn’t deserve MC and that she should be with someone better than him.

Impulsiveness

- Again, breaking Robocat. Felt impulsive and done without thought. His car rides could also be considered impulsive depending on how risky and speedy they may be. I recall at one point he texts MC while driving.

Trouble controlling anger

- Source: His Whole Route

Procrastination

- I feel like I keep bringing up the robo animals a lot, but they were also a form of procrastinating his work. (I suppose there are a lot of things that could be tied to those animals then, or maybe I’m just reading to deep into things). Uhm, idk I can’t think of anymore examples atm, and I know he tries not to procrastinate super important stuff. I feel like if I were to play the game again (it’s been a couple weeks) I would be able to find more examples for this even on a minor scale. Sometimes him teasing Yoosung could be seen as both him trying to relieve some stress and put off doing his work.

~•⭐ D e p r e s s i o n ⭐•~

- Yes I know his depression comes from trauma and abuse. However ADHD overlaps with different disorders quite commonly. A lot of his ADHD symptoms overlap with depression as well, such as the disorganization, mood swings, and insomnia. And depression can very often accompany ADHD too just simply due to the fact that mental illnesses do tend to come in multiples, and also the ADHD itself can be a contributor to depression.

Those are 12 different signs that he might have ADHD...and of course I’m no doctor. Everything that I listed were things that I found through an attempt to analyze him and his route, and online research regarding ADHD. I’m sure there are things I might have over-analyzed and taken some things out of context as it has been a couple weeks since I finished his route...So feel free to add your own thoughts/opinions, regardless of if you think I’m right or wrong. This has been in my drafts for a while and I finally got it finished and will likely go through editing later but I want to post it now. If anything is hard to understand let me know and it will get fixed to the best of my ability.

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cleavedsoul · 4 years ago

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PER AN EXCELLENT POST FOUND ON ACCIO : while i do not have the time to write a whole fanfic about quiri ( yet ) , i am going to address my hot takes on these questions so here comes the breakdown .

was he a death eater before, or did he just bump into voldemort that one time?

quirinus was not a death eater , nor was he ever interested in being one . his encounter with voldemort was also not intentional on the level it has been portrayed in by the press or the ministry . quirinus encountered voldemort in the forests of albania while he was on his sabbatical . the main point of the sabbatical was to LEARN , not to find voldemort .

how much of his actions were his own and how much were a result of sharing a brain with voldy?

quirinus was in charge of most non - diabolical actions , honestly . & it wasn’t that he shared a brain with voldemort , it was that voldemort flat out was possessing his body . for those of you who have seen yu-gi-oh , think of this as a yami bakura situation . “intelligent young man has to grapple with & often loses to the evil spirit who resides in his body” . i did some art of quiri vs voldequiri , which is also much like the bakura situation . quiri’s body did not mutate so much as it wasted away like a terminally ill patient . that physical decline progressed over the year & was not highly evident until after the holiday / winter break .

voldemort gaslit quiri to doing a lot of things : the theft of the philosopher’s stone & forcing him to fight harry . voldemort flat out took control of quiri’s body to curse harry’s broomstick & to drink the unicorn blood . every one of ‘ quirrell’s break in attempts ’ were also voldemort taking full control of the body .

quiri has no interest in the philosopher’s stone , nor does he actually have much interest in harry . not that he doesn’t think harry is a nice kid , but he naturally would’ve thought of harry as “ another student ” . treating people differently because of oh idk a scar on their forehead or being Famous is not how quiri works . he’s been treated differently most of his life in the wizarding world , he would’ve treated harry in the way good teachers treat their students . with respect & not singling them out .

on that note , quiri did design his own lesson plans for 7 years of students . that’s a lot . i should’ve mentioned this at the start , but quirinus quirrell was 20 when the school year started , turning 21 on september 26th , 1991 . he is barely older than the 7th years , so it was very stressful . his lesson plans were designed to be age appropriate while also giving students the highest chance of surviving should voldemort get the stone . quiri was aware of the danger he had put the school in & he felt awful about it .

it was quiri’s choice to aid in guarding the philosopher’s stone . quiri picked a troll as a challenge knowing that voldemort had no respect for trolls & would thus be attacked by a troll . since quiri also made a backup homunculus body with a mix of muggle cloning & magic , he wasn’t concerned about a troll killing the body he was in currently . he was well aware that he would not have the physical strength to defend himself against a troll by the time voldemort would act , so it would force voldemort to fight the troll with magic , draining the body of energy that voldemort couldn’t afford to lose .

quiri intentionally went silent when voldemort went through the challenges to get to the mirror . he lied to voldemort when he said he saw himself giving voldemort the philosopher’s stone in the mirror . what he saw was himself with his friends & family laughing & having fun doing muggle things .

what did the unicorn blood do to his body?

quite frankly , not much . hagrid mentions that only a person with nothing left to lose would drink the blood of a unicorn & by that point , quiri had completed his homunculus body which voldemort was unable to find out about because quiri’s mindscape is absolute chaos . quiri had many secrets he managed to hide from voldemort simply by being disorganized in thought process , neurodivergence saved his ass .

since quiri’s body was already weakened & quiri himself is actually just the type that unicorns would love , voldemort ( who was also controlling the body at the time ) took the curse . by extension of what it did , quiri suffered , but honestly he didn’t mind ? the body was , in fact , cursed to die ( which already it was going to ) , & voldemort was bound to it . thus , even if quiri jumped free to the spare body , voldemort would be trapped . it wasn’t going to kill voldemort , but it did force him to essentially burn out the power he’d siphoned from quiri , setting him back to square one when quiri’s body died .

how human even was he, by the end?

very . quiri was always human . young & naive , but able to take responsibility for what he’d done , he structured the plan for the year to optimize survival chances for his students & was ready to accept whatever consequences would come to him when he left voldemort behind . he was patient & well behaved during his brief years in azkaban & he offered his help to the order . it was never a question of whether or not quiri was human , & for all the pain it caused him , he grew quite a bit as a person from the experience .

#🌺 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑 𝐁𝐎𝐘 #* study .#ask to tag #long post #🌺 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐃 & 𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐄

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avelera · 5 years ago

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Quick thoughts on Spider-Man: Far From Home:

CUT FOR SPOILERS

- 90% amazing. Had a great time at all the Teen Summer Vacation Comedy moments, it was a great genre blend for a Spider-Man film. So many great references and call-backs. I laughed a lot.

- The 10% is... hard to express without sounding like someone who is just disappointed their theories got busted, which could (in the movie’s defense) very well be the case.

- Let’s just start by quickly saying there was a similar sense of disorganization around the broader progression of the MCU via “Mysterio” that I felt in Captain Marvel, where now that the cinematic universe has gotten so big and could go in so many directions and have such heavy expectations placed upon each of them, sometimes it leads to jumbled motivations and story beats for the film.

(Like in Captain Marvel it felt like the film was trying to pull double duty telling a story in space and a story about Carol and even triple duty with a story that advanced the MCU. In this case it felt like we needed to mourn Iron Man, advance Spider-Man, introduce the next possible wave of villains (which turned out to be a fake-out with the multi-verse, which left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth but I’ll get to that later), etc etc. So many possibilities of what it could be and what is going to be teased that some scenes seem set up for Misdirecting Trailer Moments in a very distracting way.)

- To that point, one minor critique I have of Mysterio is he felt a bit split on how much he liked Peter Parker. I think, personally, when they found out how much chemistry Holland and Gyllenhaal had, they should have leaned into it more and done some re-writes (or more re-writes than they did). Obviously Gyllenhaal adored chewing the scenery during the Villain Reveal of Exposition in the middle, but it was at the cost of some of the later emotional beats between him and Peter because he came across as so cartoonishly villainous, in contrast to his earlier hero persona. As such, it was hard to get a finger on just how much he really regretted the prospect of killing Peter.

- Basically, it felt as if the script just planned Gyllenhaal’s character to be a Delightful Asshole, total evil dude who wants to be a bad guy to fill Iron Man’s shoes, very much in line with the Civil War ultimate “bad guy” of a person who is just obsessed with a hero and thus trying to bring him down or take his place, and as such had many of his flaws too.

- But because Gyllenaal seems genuinely distraught at the prospect of having to kill Peter, I feel they should have just gone with that sentiment a little more strongly? Maybe instead of him just seeming to crave becoming the next Iron Man for... idk, glory reasons? It’s not really made clear except that “being Iron Man” would be desirable and makes him Peter Parker’s foil with a similar goal gone about the wrong way? IDK, anyway, I think they could have given us a beat of him genuinely believing he could help people better than these, admittedly, rather damaged and/or immature heroes!

- Like, it’s not unreasonable to look at Tony Stark (given his issues) or hear Peter given his immaturity (I mean, it’s unkind to say, but Mysterio basically saw him do nothing but whine about how he just wants to go on a date with this girl) and think, “Holy shit, I can do better than this! The world is at stake!” Especially if you’ve got your own team of smart people to help you that you trust.

- Basically, his big cackling Villain Reveal scene was great! He had some legit, if unkind, critiques about the MCU heroes that leant weight to the moment and believability to his motivation! He seemed to genuinely like his team! Their plan was unorthodox but made a certain twisted sense!

- The scene after that, in the theater? Wasn’t so great. In that scene when he threatens his own team and his motivations go from wanting to “Be Iron Man” to... what? Glory? Presumably they’ll make a lot of money, though how isn’t really clear and it’s sort of quickly dropped as a motivator. Given money was mentioned as a motivator, I’m a little surprised his team didn’t revolt when he started getting creepy about the whole thing. Also, helping people as a potential motivator kinda went away when he stopped caring about casualties.

- Anyway, that scene also kinda ruined a lot for me because it became a bit... masturbatory on Marvel’s part? A little too, “Look, we’re making a Marvel film about making a Marvel film because we’re such a big cultural touchstone now, aren’t we clever?” with how Mysterio’s suit is literally exactly what Marvel actors who do CGI wear behind the scenes? I loved the callback with the Iron Man 1 engineer being there, but overall that whole scene just took the magic out and reminded me this was a Marvel movie, because the movie itself wanted to remind me this was a Marvel (tm) movie.

- As they say in Inception, it’s dangerous to remind the dreamer that they’re in a dream while they’re in the dream. Sometimes it can be pulled off, but normally it just takes them out of the dream entirely. Such is the rule with 4th wall breaks, no matter how clever.

- Which gets me into my Big Issue with the film which maaay just be Disappointed Fan and less Artistic Critique.

- I wanted multi-verse. Failing multi-verse, I would have accepted magic over technology as an explanation for Mysterio’s power, which is rare for me because I usually prefer the tech explanation. But there was a moment when Peter is on the run from Beck’s illusions where it just wasn’t working for me, why? Because it was all drones.

- This is a universe with Dr. Strange in it, there’s no actual reason Mysterio’s power couldn’t be magic instead of tech.

- THAT SAID, the use of the projector tech we last saw in Civil War and the critique of Tony’s use of it, was an excellent callback and meshed nicely with the larger message of the film which is, “what to do now that Tony’s gone?” Which is the question the Marvel universe creators are facing right now (and again, struck me as a bit masturbatory like, we know you’re struggling with this question but it takes me out of the film a bit when you make a film about not knowing what to do next with the MCU?)

- THAT SAID, having them be drones instead of illusions made me feel during the fight scenes like I was watching a highlight reel of moments that would be “really cool in the trailer!” because they’d misdirect what was really happening, making the audience think it was magic instead of tech in order to conceal the Big Reveal.

- Furthermore, the drone use raised a lot of questions like, uh, “spider senses” aside (which we’re apparently not saying for some reason?), what about sound, smell, touch, heat, taste? Is this drone wired into Peter’s nervous system? Why are they so convincing that he behaves as if he’s in a full sensory illusion (like if the illusions were magic) where we can never truly be sure if he’s awake, when this is all just Industrial Light and Magic technology at best?

- So yeah I get it, magic is so passé, drones are cooler I guess, even if how they work so effectively with just projectors and guns makes zero sense. Mysterio is calling the plot of a Marvel movie with elemental creatures attacking dumb, thus reminding me I’m here watching a dumb Marvel movie, which by extension feels like calling the audience dumb for being here.

- I dunno, am I crazy for wanting there to be a bit of magic? Or failing that, a bit of heart instead of a guy just villainously trying to get the perks of being a superhero by manufacturing the whole situation, never once asking if there’s good he could be doing or having deep second thoughts about the cost given a kid he genuinely likes will die if he continues with this plan?

- Many of the scenes even looked as if they were directed and shot to be magic instead of tech, that leads further to the schizophrenic “made for the trailer” feeling of a lot of scenes, as if they were designed to be taken out of context.

- I mean, it really was just the Iron Man 3 reveal all over again - there is no Mandarin, it’s just an actor with a guy behind him trying to become the next Iron Man. Except we’ve already had that reveal so this one felt repetitive. A more surprising reveal might have been, I dunno, Mysterio is a normal person who really does want to be Iron Man for altruistic reasons and just goes wrong along the way so he can have an honest emotional connection with Peter? Or actually from another universe but in fact a villain there and lying about it in order to become a hero in our universe? (Which was my first theory when I saw the trailer. Part of me actually wondered if Mysterio was Peter Parker from an alternate universe).

Overall, I had fun. I think I’ll even like it more on the re-watch because my brain won’t be in overdrive trying to figure out the plot and thus be disappointed. But there was definitely a moment where they’re smirking about how stupid people are for being willing to believe a made up story about magic where I thought, “Would that really have been so bad?”

#spider-man far from home #smffh #mcu

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icewindandboringhorror · 6 years ago

Photo

hmmm’st....Another group of replies since I’m trying to keep up with my inbox better this year !! (I know #3 is missing, I accidentally mislabeled them and skipped straight to 4 and don’t feel like re-editing the photos lol )

1. “What would you recommend doing with a 1x1 ft square of tapestry-eqsue fabric ?” (question typed out in a shortened way/some words left out)

Hmm, I’m not really sure! I always have problems with tiny squares of fabrics since I often like.. am in love with the colors or texture or pattern or etc, but at the same time it’s too small to actually serve as a really substantial part of the outfit lol, so I usually just use them in small ways for accents? Squares are really good for making collars out of, since you can just cut a hole in the middle and put your head through it and it’s done lol, but you can also tuck them into shirt collars or belts so they hang out a little and just serve as a pop of color or something. If you don’t mind cutting it, you could also turn it into little strips or change the shape, make it into a small pocket/bag, wrap pieces around the arm or tie it around boots as decor, tie the cut up buts together to make it into a longer piece of fabric then use that as a belt or sash or headband, etc. Idk, I have trouble with small fabric bits as well, but maybe some of these ideas help!!

(other answers under read more so it doesn’t get long)

---------

(note: sorry to everyone who's questions I had to shorten when re-typing them here, I hope I abbreviated them okay and didn't leave out anything you saw as very important! The full message is still shown in the images above and I just wanted to save myself a little time on the typing aaa!)

2. “Sorry this is random, but you seem like a very nice and thoughtful person. Hope you have a happy new year”

Thank you!! I always try to include one or two of these nice ones in here just to continue to show appreciation for people who send me kind things! Even if I don’t respond to all of them (since I feel really awkward just like.. publicly responding to a ton of compliments lol), still know that I really appreciate it! I hope you also have a great year, anon!

3. accidental mislabeling error means free space for cat image

4. “will you do more videos? vlogs, tutorials, explaining your art, games, podcast, anything? sorry if it's weird to say, but I just really enjoy listening to you speak!” (question typed in a shortened way/not fully quoted)

Possibly? I just can’t think of many things to make that would work well for me?

vlogs: I don’t like to do vlogs anymore because of my mental illness and becoming more anxious about showing my face or daily life in public. Though I do enjoy aspects of the “lifestyle blogging” sort of content, like I think it would be cool to be able to make easy videos where all I do is sit down and talk about my hair or something for 20 minutes lol, or etc., but I guess as I get less comfortable with showing myself, I tend to stray away from stuff like that?

(this is also why I’ve been shifting more towards like... costumes, art, world-building, making games, etc. as opposed to outfits/personal style/personal life type content, since I feel much more comfortable being framed as more of a ‘detached and faceless creator that shows some personality but is still mostly obscured’ than ‘open personality that posts selfies and talks about their life extensively’ or etc. Obviously I still post personal stuff like questions and thoughts/opinions and cat images and etc., but less so.. like I don’t even remember the last time I posted an actual selfie where my face wasn’t obscured by costume makeup or something lol..)

I would absolutely still do stuff like “room tour” or “what’s in my bag” videos, or like a single video showing my usual daily routine or something,, if those were ever requested of me/interest was shown in them.. I’m okay with small one time “lifestyle” genre sort of content. But anything too invasive or long term (daily/frequent vlogging, or like “story time” videos) I think I would get uncomfortable with lol.

tutorials: I’m not really sure what I would do tutorials on? If you want me to make a tutorial about something, feel free to let me know something in specific! My main problem is that I don’t feel like there’s anything unique that I do that there aren’t already 100 other tutorials for, so I’m never sure what I should make those about. I get occasional asks with people saying “do a makeup tutorial” or “do a sculpting tutorial” or something, but they don’t ever say WHAT SPECIFIC makeup or what SPECIFIC thing they’d like to see me explain, so then I’m still left alone with vagueness and unsure what to do lol!

art explanation: Same kind of goes for the “explaining your art” thing like, what art? Explaining what specifically about it? You mean worldbuilding? Or sculptures? etc.?? I’m actually always happy to make videos for anything people want to see (since I enjoy the process of making them, usually), but I just am never sure exactly what to do. But if I had specific prompts I would be glad to explain something though! Videos are fun, I just never know what to make them about lol

games: I would absolutely love to do let’s plays/game videos or something (I assume this is what you meant by just saying ”games”??) since I enjoy games, and my whole thing about not being able to relax (I feel guilty about playing games (or any other leisure activity) unless it’s working towards something, I have to have a way to justify the activity being productive, which is why I rarely ever play games despite liking them a lot lol..but if I made videos or etc. it would feel slightly more worth the time/effort).. But seeing as I’m fairly lower income I really don’t have much money to buy games, and I don’t have a very good computer situation lol. I would need to have money to fix my current computer, and a few other things, etc. etc.

Idk, it’s something I think about occasionally and that would be extremely convenient for me and my current situation (in terms of having something simultaneously low effort/relaxing/ suitable to my needs/mental illness/physical issues, but also that feels productive at the same time), but it’s also a very weird genre of stuff (idk if I’d feel comfortable being anywhere near the broader “games” community ghggb), and I would need a little money first lol..

podcast: I would never start my own podcast because I have no idea what I would even have a podcast about, and I also don’t have any friends who do that sort of thing (podcasts usually have multiple people, right??). I would do one with someone else or something like if a close friend asked me I guess, but idk... I couldn’t ever see that being something I start by myself?? Especially since I don’t know anything about them or what equipment or programs are required to edit together the audio, I’ve only listened to a few of them every once in a while, etc. am not really tech savvy in the field of like. how podcasts work ggh. So that’s probably the most unlikely one out of everything you listed, sorry!!

As for other stuff, I’ve thought of answering questions in audio form instead (so rather than writing them out here, I’d just make a video (though not with visuals, since I don’t like filming myself talking..maybe I could put footage of cats over the audio though lol) of me going through my inbox and answering things, since I feel like typing takes me so much longer than speaking, and sometimes it’d be more convenient).

I’ve also thought about just like.. talking about world-building stuff, like.. rather than writing out a post, I can just ramble about things or something,, but I’m afraid I’d get too disorganized, so it’d probably only be good for answering questions about specific things (which I don’t really get questions about worldbuilding stuff that I could have enough to sit down and answer in a video lol.. I think I’ve gotten two so far?? which I already answered in text posts).

So idk, maybe those could also be ways to hear more of me talking? If I used audio more often to answer things or discuss things (like answering asks that way) rather than typing.. which would save me time anyway lol.. But I just feel unsure about it since it seems.. weird.. like.. some people might just want a quick answer to their ask and not have to skip to a certain time stamp of a video and hear me talk about it for 5 minutes lol..

But anyway, yeah, feel free to offer specific suggestions or support towards anything mentioned if it’s really something you want to see! I really appreciate that you even watched the silly little vocabulary video and especially that you actually enjoy my rambling lol (I sometimes feel annoying when I speak), and I hope I can make something sometime!! I just have trouble deciding on what content I should be making or etc., but maybe I’ll try to find a few more things I can do where I’m actually talking!

(also thanks for hoping I feel okay! I am a little bit better, but still sick lol)

5. “Hope you feel better (emoji heart that I can't type on a computer)”

Thank you!! It’s been really stink to be sick the entire first month of the year lol, but hopefully I’ll be better like.. by mid February at least!!! With how goal focused I am, it’s been like... utterly evil to not be able to start the year off well and get all of my to-do list stuff done.. I’m finally at a point where I’m finishing a few things again (like this post, and a few of the worldbuilding things from a week ago or etc), but I still can’t stop myself being.... deeply annoyed, by my loss of time and how much I feel like I should have gotten done already aaaAAA.

Especially I REALLY WANT TO DO another costume soon!!!! I have some laid out in my closet that I hope to do, but I keep waiting until I’m feeling better, since I’m afraid of having some random sickness related health problem in the middle of getting dressed and then having to like.. show up to the doctor while I have elf ears on and half a horn on my head or something ghghggh...

But anyway, I can’t do anything to change it now, so the best I can manage is just to kind of.. ignore my losses and move forward and try to be as productive as possible from now on! I really hope I can still get some of my main goals (like the game, costumes, music, worldbulding stuff) finished in reasonable time, even if I basically lost the entire month of January into a void lol. Sometimes you just lose an entire month of time... life is just Like That and you have to move on and make the most out of it I guess!

6. Would you ever like consider selling your outfits???? I have an extended non violent larping thing coming up and i really love your outfits!

I might actually! I mentioned it before I think like, months ago, but i have a LOT of clothes I really want to get rid of, it’s just that it’s SO daunting. I’ve sold clothes before and it took hours and hours of effort, and you have to constantly keep up with it and track sales, and on top of that I really underestimated shipping prices (especially making the mistake of shipping internationally on one of them I think), and I ended up making no profit and actually losing $70 just from paying people’s shipping that I didn’t charge them for (which for me and my financial situation is.. A LOT.. like.. I do NOT have that kind of spare money ghghh).

This time I want to be careful about it and also I’ll have to charge a lot more (which of course, I feel guilty about since I have Bigg Money Anxiety and wish everything was free for everyone all the time gghb), and also it’s hard for me to find the time and energy to take literally hundreds of photos of hundreds of items and then list them somewhere and etc. etc. etc.

BUT to cut down on that workload I’ve thought about actually just grouping them into outfits or like, groups of clothing that all match each other or etc. and selling them all together (so that I don’t have to photograph and list every individual item), and additionally that way I can maybe just do one batch at a time like.. maybe sell two of them a week or something, instead of all at once.

Maybe just buying a certain size of box/envelope thing and stuffing whatever I can into it and selling them all for a set price like $40 a piece or something. Which to me sounds extremely expensive I guess since I’m someone who would never have $40 to just spend on clothing lol, but I really kind of can’t go much lower than that if I want to allot for shipping and not make the same mistakes again as last time (and definitely not allow people to buy internationally unless they pay me like.. $50 extra or something, which would be ridiculous lol).

But anyway, especially since I have a few things I could really use money for (paying my guardians back for recent medical copays, and for my cat’s vet visit a few months ago, and also I have to fix the battery on my computer or buy a new one, etc.), I’ve thought about trying to do that soon! Maybe sometime in the next month I can start listing some themed clothing groups/outfits/etc. and sell them at a slower better pace for me (like one group a week or so). I’ll definitely post about it if I do!

7. (this one will have to be shortened a lot since it's so long, but I'll try to just type the main parts I'm replying to) ��Are you making/would you consider making a story with your fantasy worlds? Like a book or a zine or youtube videos where you roleplay as the characters and make them talk to the viewer or each other? If you don't want to create plot, you could just do characters seeking to educate humans bout their cultures or something. I used to scroll past your posts since I'm more visual when it comes to fantasy, before realizing how interesting they are and I feel like your ideas need more playing out and exposure. ALSO, how do you feel about collaborating with other people on creating art? Or just being art pals and sharing ideas/plans/etc.? I just read your FAQ about collaborations so I understand the terms and my offer to be art friends still stands!”

-- About whether I’ll make more things with my world:

Thanks so much for the very nice message!! Worldbuilding stuff is one of the most fun creative activities for me to do, so I always appreciate it when people discuss it with me and etc. (not that I don’t also appreciate compliments on sculptures and costumes and etc., those are great too! But I guess because world stuff is something I’m so much more personally invested in yet also never get to talk about lol, anytime anyone sends me anything related to characters or worlds or etc my brain is instantly like !!!!!!!!!!!!! O v O !!!!!!!!!!! ghgh).

I am actually making a game like I may have mentioned a few times, which though it’s more character focused and doesn’t really have a plot/broader story (it’s basically like a dating sim except without romance/dating, but it has similar mechanics in the sense that the main goal is to get to know characters in the world and do tasks for them and etc.), it will include a good bit of things that have do with my world, seeing as it like... takes place there.

And since each of the characters have their own backgrounds and etc., they’ll of course speak about various world-related topics. Like for example, one of the shop-owners you can work for is an elf from outside of the elven alliance, and another shop the player can work at is owned by a set of twins who were formerly part of a royal family within the alliance, so those characters (when getting to know them and doing quests for them and etc) will of course have different perspectives on the world and talk about some of the stuff that’s been brought up in my worldbuilding posts, just obviously in a more personal/casual way, since it’s dialogue rather than me writing exposition infodump posts.

Like for example, the fact that alliance elves and non-alliance elves often have very different takes on the main elven religion, meaning if it comes up in conversation, both shopkeepers would give different dialogue relating to it, etc. Which since every character has their own unique situation and heritage and etc. (the game is set on a popular market street in a large global city, so here it actually makes sense for a bunch of different species to all be in the same place and etc.), I think could maybe expose players to a lot of the central worldbuilding concepts, depending on which shopkeeper they go with.

Obviously characters aren’t going to just be doing unnatural exposition dumps about the extensive background of the world or something lol, but even just naturally and playing through a character with neutral favor (meaning not unlocking any special positive/negative dialogue options/etc), you’d still be able to get at least a few tidbits about the world. (especially since some character’s conflicts stem from cultural/worldbuilding factors, so it’s not unnatural for them to bring it up if that’s like.. something that seriously impacts their life lol.). It probably wont expose people to Advanced Lore like the time gaps or obscure types of magic or etc (well.. depending on which shopkeepers you talk to hbhbb), but it could help with some of what you’re talking about.. In the sense of it being a more accessible visual medium that, while not the MAIN focus of the game, does end up covering some of the world background information through natural dialogue.

(always feel free to send an ask or something if you have any questions about the game, I never talk about it but every time I start to my brain unlocks and I have to stop myself from like.. saying literally every single thing about it ghgbhj)

Other than that though, I’m not currently working on anything that actually involves my world. I totally get what you mean though, and I’ve often tried thinking of ways to make it more accessible and etc (shorter posts, more clear topics, more visual elements, etc.), but it can be hard for me to work within those constraints when it already takes so much time for me to put those things together. It’s like I have so much planned out in my head, I kind of just want to get it out there however I can, since if I spend too much time deliberating about it or etc. it will become an endless task lol..

Ghhbh I actually have an extensive background in acting out characters, I’ve pretty much walked around talking to myself in different voices and etc. for my whole life and am used to like acting multiple characters at once and improvisational storytelling things (this is still what I spend a lot of my time doing lol.. I just.. walk around my house having conversations out loud pretending to be random people.. Especially when doing chores, like washing dishes or etc. is more fun if you pretend you’re a group of travelers working in a weird little elven restaurant bickering with each other the whole time hgh), but idk if that would be something I would do for videos. I feel weird about being on camera personally, even if I were in costume. But it is a really good suggestion since that is something which would be much much easier to produce than like, doing a full animation or writing a book or something lol.

I have thought of reading my worldbuilding posts aloud/ doing audio versions of them, so that people could just listen to them instead of reading them (there would be no visuals like.. just black screen or something with audio of me reading it), but the way I write is like.. hard to read back? I love to read out loud (one of my favorite activities to entertain myself is to actually find random text I’ve never seen before and see how well I can sightread it. Especially random medical articles with a lot of words I don’t know in them lol, it’s fun to just try to go through a new text fast in a convincing narrator voice or something, scrambling to mess up as little as possible), but I find that I have to modify my writing in order to read it that way (I’ve attempted to make a worldbuilding audio thing before, this is how I know this lol), so it’s almost like I’m writing a whole second version of the post, which makes it take longer?

I could modify my writing style (less having things in parentheses and etc., side sentences that occur in the middle of main sentences and break reading flow, etc.. Like this one lol), and have thought about writing in a way that would be easier for me to read back, but it’s just a whole thing I’d have to plan. I’ve definitely considered it though, and could pursue that idea further if people were interested or something!

I’ve also thought of writing dialogue out between characters as a method of worldbuilding (not a story, but more like a script) since I think that’s a good natural way to convey things or give snapshots of moments in history or etc... but like.. That would just be more text so it wouldn’t really solve the problem lol. I could do audio reading them I guess, but since I’m more used to improv stuff, idk how I would do trying to read actual already written lines, even if I was the one who wrote them, it would definitely be something I’ve never done before lol!

I also just think doing smaller things could help, and anything interactive. Like shorter posts, especially with more visuals in them, typically get seen more, and then stuff like me making a game or other condensed things.. I’ve thought of making like.. a character selection screen, not an actual game but kind of like a dress up game where you get to choose your background from the different species in my world and then dress them up a little or etc. but that would be a LOT more work than it seems probably lol.

A lot of social media is just a combination of luck/the right connections, quantity, and consistency especially. I’m sure if I could do a short post a day or a drawing of a character every other day or something and reblog them a lot, then more people would see the other things I do as well and etc., but it’s just... very difficult for me to operate that way since it’s so inherently antithetical to my personality and how I work lol (I tend to be more of a.. .. ‘stay isolated working on things and barely post anything for 3 months then post 10 things at once out of nowhere before going inactive again’ type of person ghbh.. which is like.. horrible from a Social Media Strategy standpoint).

(Oh also, I still have no idea what a zine is even though I've seen them around and looked at a few and even looked up the definition of one to try to understand them hhghgg.. I’m still not exactly sure like.. what qualifies as one or how I would make a world-related one lol.. so this is why I didn’t really go into much detail on that specific suggestion of yours since.. I’m Uneducated Fool )

But anyway, Idk if I could do acting videos, but I could do audio reading of posts or other things, and I am at least in the middle of working on a game which heavily involves elements of the world, so maybe that counts for what you’re talking about!

Though personally it really doesn’t matter much to me if many people see my world stuff or etc., since really all the fun is just that I sincerely enjoy coming up with ideas and creating worlds and etc., even if I’m not doing anything major with it ( making a book series or comics or etc. I don’t feel like worldbuilding has to be working toward another project, and like that it can just be done for it’s own sake as a hobby), I still truly appreciate the sentiment and that you enjoy the world enough to give suggestions and etc. for stuff like that!! I’m going to keep at it however I can just because I love doing it so much, no matter if anyone really pays attention, but it is always unexpected and very meaningful when people like you engage with the content, so thank you for that! I’ll continue trying to make things and be productive and maybe use a few new ideas here and there just so it’s easier for people like you who tend to be more visual with things. I want to avoid leaving people out, and try to make a variety of things that can cater to more visual people as well or etc.!

-- About possibly being art friends or working together:

Well you said you read the collaboration FAQ, so I’m under the impression that I no longer need to answer that part of your question lol, thus I’ll just continue on with an answer assuming you know all of that information!

I’m always up for it I guess! I’m not sure about collaborating since I know nothing about you, and also don’t know where you live (remember I mention that it’d be much easier to collaborate with people I live closer to so we don’t have to like.. skype or some other weird digital method of communication in order to talk about ideas. Just since that sort of thing can get so lengthy, especially if it’s an actual project being taken seriously, I’d rather speak to someone in person and be able to work on it alongside each other better). If I got to know you for a few months and thought I could trust you/know we have a similar vision/don’t clash creatively or personality wise, AND we also lived close enough to meet at least occasionally, then yeah! project collaborations could work. If otherwise, then unfortunately it might not work in that regard. : U

(OH also if we’re a similar age?? I forget that people on the internet can be way younger than me.. I have nothing against younger people (very against the weird overly-simplified generational stereotyping ggh), but I would just feel kind of weird being an adult (early 20s) working with a minor who’s like 13 years old or something. I would be happy to talk about things from time to time and help with ideas or something, but actual like.. long term collaborative projects like writing a book together or creating and selling a game or something may be strange just due to us being at such totally different stages in our lives and etc. So, to collaborate on projects or even just communicate frequently about them or etc. I would also prefer we’re a similar age range (you’re somewhere from like 19 - 28 yrs old or close to that) ghhbh)

As for just talking about art though, that could work fine probably! Since it would just be casual discussion and less serious than full on project collabs or etc., you wouldn’t need to live near me or etc. Though of course I would still need to know about you first (especially politics and stuff like.. I don’t want to get 50 long conversations in with someone only to find out they hate trans people or are a huge racist or etc. I always like to establish that ahead of time or at least have some idea of a person’s leanings.), and understand your personality a little.

I am pretty socially anxious and due to health problems and stuff can sometimes be bad at replying ( I know some people expect instant responses, whereas I usually reply in a day or two ( depending on how long the message is)), but I also don’t currently have any friends to talk about world-building stuff with really or who care much about that sort of thing, so I’m always open to having conversations about stuff like that!

Especially if it’s a low-pressure causal sort of thing in the sense of like “hey let’s just see if we get along well conversationally and if we don’t then no hard feelings”, etc. One of the main reasons I’m often afraid to talk to strangers is that if we end up NOT getting along and I decide that I want to stop talking or etc., I’m afraid they’ll get mad at me or lash out at me or something. I prefer it when the expectation is set ahead of time like “we can both walk away at any time and should feel free to openly communicate how we feel about this conversation at any time. if we wouldn’t make good art friends or have trouble communicating then that’s fine and we just respectfully stop talking”. Which sounds like.. very common sense but.. I've talked to a few people in the past who struggled with communication and would be passive aggressively mean to you about it or something like that instead of just being open about them not feeling like talking anymore or etc., which is always a confusing situation to be in and I’d like to avoid it!

Anyway though! I can’t promise anything since I don’t know you and am cautious about new people (I don’t want to be like “OH sure we’ll be best friends!!” before I even know you and set up false expectations), but I’m definitely at least open to talking, especially about world-building stuff, if we’re compatible and respectful to each other and etc. And am also open to collaborations, under the right circumstances like what I’ve mentioned. Thank you again for the very nice set of asks!!!! I hope you have a great day, anon~

And that’s all for the reply post. Thanks to everyone who sent in asks about stuff!!

#replies

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emberprince · 5 years ago

Note

Answer ALL of those in the ask meme you reblogged (or just cocoa if you're a coward)

oh you have no idea how badly I wanted to do this already I was just waiting for the opportunity... and you have given it to me you FOOL! now I have a reason to continue procrastinating on my homework

lantern - how did you meet your best friend? What were your first impressions of each other?

‣ I had just joined my first ‘good’ RP guild on World of Warcraft. She was sitting in the same building as me when my character was interviewed. I thought she was very cool but also very intimidating... I wanted to be friends with her but I was also an IDIOT and very new to roleplay so I kind of hope she remembers little of that time... We sort of fell out of contact for like 5 years but I followed her deviantart account and always added her art to my favorites because it was very CUTE and GOOD... anyway by sheer coincidence we ended up in a guild together again after many years and got to know each other more and now I think I would die if my best friend was anyone else

frost - if you could give some advice to your younger self, what would you say?

‣ man, high school doesnt matter. literally nothing matters as much as you think it does. it’s OKAY. stop caring what people think of you because it’s only going to give you depression and no one likes that. it’s okay. trust me. just chill. skip school once in a while

maple - is there a hobby / skill that you’ve always wanted to try but never did?

‣ I’ve always wanted to learn sign language... I’ve also wanted to learn like, blacksmithing or woodworking but I’ve never had the opportunity or tools to do so :(

harvest - what fictional character do you most identify with? Why?

‣ normally I would list one of my OCs but that’s cheating. I’d have to say Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter, she seems the most like me. I’d LIKE to identify as a cool protagonist but I don’t have the protagonist personality

fireside - if you had your dream wardrobe, what would it look like?

‣ cloaks and cool leather jackets and long flowing coats that make me look cool as FUCK. also dresses with pockets PLEASE I just want a semi-casual dress with functioning POCKETS PLEASE also I would love to have some nice boots and leggings that are a little thicker and don’t show as much as the flimsy ones. Coats/leggings/boots are just nice. I like shirts that are flowy and breathable, kind of like tunics

cider - a food that you disliked as a child but now enjoy?

‣ onions, mustard, peppers, broccoli, guacamole. basically no one ever cooked them for me when I was a kid then I grew up and realized that cooked vegetables are delicious as FUCK

amber - share an unpopular opinion that you may have.

‣ I’m really tired of seeing all the anti-cop posts. My dad is a wildlife law enforcement officer and one of the best people I know, and this whole new view on police has made his job a lot more dangerous. I understand that some cops are horrible people but the majority of them are really kind and unique individuals once you get to know them. Most of them dedicated their entire career to helping others, even if it means getting into dangerous situations. you can unfollow me for this if you want

fog - how well do you think you’d do in a zombie apocalypse scenario?

‣ I wouldn’t die instantly because I’d immediately run into the wilderness and hide instead of raiding stores where the outbreak is literally happening, but I’m not great at living off the land so I’d probably eat something poisonous and die of a disease or starvation a couple weeks later. If I somehow found a good food source or had something to hunt with I’d be alright.

jack-o-lantern - if you could look like any celebrity, who would you choose?

‣ jameela jamil...

spice - have you ever encountered a house that you believed to be haunted?

‣ no

orchard - share one thing that you’d like to happen this autumn.

‣ I’d like to pass all my classes and maybe get A’s and B’s... I’d also like to just be happy for a little while. Maybe get the hell out of my dorm but I don’t think that’s likely to happen. Most other years I’d say ‘fall in love’ but I really just am not ready for that right now. OH wait I’d like to receive 1 million dollars please

crow - which school subject do you wish you had an aptitude for?

‣ CHEMISTRY. holy shit

bonfire - describe your dream house.

‣ a few minutes outside a town with everything I need like a grocery store, hospital, etc. A BIG spacious house in the middle of the woods near a waterfall with a rustic cabin design. Pine forest, one big window in the living room so I can look out at the mountains and watch it snow in the winter. Lots of comfortable furniture, a sectional couch, a big kitchen so I can do a lot of cooking and a big bedroom with a king sized bed. A jacuzzi. One room is like a giant playroom for Zuko with lots of perches and toys and ropes so he can just have the time of his life. My large bedroom also has a nice window with a view of the mountains and a windowseat in front of it. The living room has an electric fireplace. I have a couple guest rooms so I can host people and the basement has a bar where we can have little get-togethers.

cinnamon - if you had to live in a time period different than the present, which would you choose and where?

‣ idk I kind of like the present. we have all these nice things we don’t normally have. I’d say like 10-20 years into the future maybe but I have no idea what the world is going to be like then sooo... maybe not. I wouldn’t want to live without the internet and running water and all the comforts I have now, though

cobweb - (if you’ve graduated) do you miss high school?

‣ I... miss parts of it. I miss the drama club in the high school I went to before I transferred. I had a lot of great memories there and sometimes I wish I could go back. And I miss the friends I made there that I don’t really talk to anymore. I don’t miss ANYTHING about the school I actually graduated from, that place was hellllllllllllll

cranberry - what’s one physical feature that you get complimented on?

‣ I think... hair? Usually when I get compliments it’s just general about my appearance but I think I’ve heard hair mentioned before

maize - share the weirdest encounter you’ve had with a stranger on the street.

‣ I haven’t really had street encounters since I don’t talk to anyone when I’m walking, but I have a few wild stories from when I worked at mcdonalds. One person came through the drive thru with 2 monkeys that tried to climb into the restaurant. Another person raved to me about how Google was taking over the world (they were right). Another person pulled up and I was about to hand them their food and the conversation went like this:

him: [grinning at me] you see the person in the line behind me?

me: yeah haha why? [hands him his food]

him: she looks like madam mim from the sword in the stone [laughs and drives away]

there are truly some cryptids out there.

quilt - how do you take your tea (or coffee)?

‣ I like iced tea in the summer and hot tea in the winter. With coffee, I prefer frappes in the summer and in the winter I drink a lot of mochas or regular coffee with just. so much creamer

pumpkin - do you think that humans are inherently good or bad?

‣ I think humans are inherently good, or at least neutral. We’re very social animals and for society to survive we have to be kind to one another so that we stick around, I think. Bad behavior seems to be learned.

moonlit - are you a neat or messy person? Is your room / house orderly?

‣ I am... neutral. I used to be VERY messy but now I’m mostly clean. My own area can get a little disorganized but I never encroach on anyone else’s space.

flannel - have you ever gone on a bad date?

‣ One. I met up with this guy and he talked about himself the entire time. Other dates have been pretty neutral, I wouldn’t say I’ve had many ‘good’ dates either.

cocoa - if you could have any type of hair, what colour and cut would you have?

‣ I used to want really long red anime hair, and I still kind of want that. I haven’t dyed my hair in a while because I want to see what my natural color looks like before I dye it again. Lately I’ve considered cutting it to shoulder-length but I think I probably won’t. I like red hair (dark red, not the natural red) but I’ve always REALLY wanted to try silver hair. If I couldn’t do silver, I’d do rose gold. For those colors I have to get it professionally dyed though, and I’m really cheap... so if I can’t walmart dye it, it’s gonna be a while until I get what I want.

ghost - is there someone that you miss having in your life?

‣ I guess my cat and bird are still in my life, but I can’t have them in my dorm, and that sucks. I miss a few of my old friends, but not that much because I have better friends now. It’s really weird not having my grandpa around anymore. He wasn’t a great person but I’ve never gone to a family gathering without him. I think that’s going to be weird to get used to. I wish I had a supportive significant other that I just click with but usually my luck is awful with relationships so I’m not going to try anything like that for a while.

#answered #wow oversharing time #THANK YOU FOR THE ASK #adven-t

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azzandra · 6 years ago

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I read an excerpt of Fugitive Rising a while ago, and my curiosity was piqued. I was pleasantly surprised to see that it has, in fact been published, so I decided to read the whole thing because I really wanted to see where it was going.

Anyway, I’m going to keep track of my thoughts as I read, though it’s not quite a liveblog. Just thoughts I had while reading the first chapters, hence extremely disorganized, but spoiler warning regardless?

So like. Okay, walking through a space port is actually a nice way to start off, it’s such a mundane location that it gives a good baseline for like, regular life. I just like this kind of stage setting.

I think what stuck out just here at the start is the mention of Virsune’s hair, because I’ve seen art of him, and apparently he is not naturally bald, and also the reference to black and silver hair gives an idea about his approximate age (I mean I assume his species also goes gray with age, but even if not, it still gives the impression that he’s middle-aged-ish).

...idk why I’m so focused on this detail, I’m just trying to get a handle on him.

Also this bit:

My first thought: he was going to mail himself!

After a few seconds:... OH NO HE MEANS A COFFIN, HONEY NO

There’s some worldbuilding after this, I thought it was going to fly over my head but it’s actually fairly straight-forward and easy to understand. The mention of the Gifted now makes me look forward to seeing the Space Magic in action.

Kerth is kind of a dink.

Wait, did Kerth not know how long Virsune was a prisoner. Did Virsune just aggro Kerth to get out of prison?

Kerth is slightly less of a dink now that he realizes Virsune’s been lost like misplaced airport luggage in legal and diplomatic limbo.

Heyyyy Virsune’s getting a haircut. Got an iconic #Look to live up to.

Virsune, please outsource your pep talks as soon as you can. I mean specifically those to yourself. This is terrible.

...Ok, it’s never a good sign when someone’s known as a ‘mad’ king. They usually don’t mean he’s just very cross.

Unspecified past crimes are probably very bad. But what did you do?

Chapet 2. Starting with eavesdropping. Virsune could wait until they tell him their decision, but no, he wants spoilers now.

I don’t know what the fuck the Assistant Overseer suggested, yet it sounds shady as fuck. ‘Oh no, this guy getting tortured was very bad! We will fix this by doing something worse.’

Ok, but Vir, please listen in on the rest of the conversation, they haven’t said they’re definitely going to do it and this is making me anxious.

lmao, oh my god, it was easier for Elani to talk a big game before she actually had to come out and get loomed over by Virsune.

UM UM THIS IS BAD? WHAT WAS IN THE SYRINGE

Vir, how are you still eavesdropping even without magic tricks. Is this a habit?? Dude.

I laughed:

He’s so salty on the inside. So salty.

‘Oh so this guy gets polite repartee and I get a needle to the arm, I see how it is’

Lady, that part is your fault

Wha... Whose child is this?

I have no doubt that what Virsune says to the caretaker is true, but also given his ponderings about escaping his gilded leash, he probably imagines Biana is escaping a similar restrictive life.

Except she’s a small child who can grow into a free life naturally, whereas he feels too run down and old to undergo the same process.

In the first chapter he was all ‘ok, I’m throwing the old Vir out, starting now I’m new non-trash Vir who will change however he needs to in order to survive, etc. etc.’ and now he’s like ‘uuuuuugh. guess I’m stuck this way’, like, this resignation to a comfortable obscurity is not actually doing him that much good. It’s like a slow death, if nothing else.

Anyway, that was chapter 2.

On to chapter 3, and...

...he’s being treated like furniture. Great. Kerth and Elani are sharing the dink hat for this one.

Virsune’s ready for some stone-cold justice.

Also I think this part is clarifying a lot of the way the Union is perceived and how they exert their influence over their neighbors. Kind of a complicated situation this puts Virsune in, though. I can see the need to navigate it delicately.

Ooooooooooooh

So salty

Kerth, low-key fanboying: so you were like super important right?

Virsune, incredibly Tired™: I was middle management at best.

This Senator lady sounds gorgeous.

This bit comes right after Virsune says he doesn’t want to make too big of a fuss over his torture, and while she doesn’t strike me as insincere either, I get the feeling like the Senator is like ‘oh, you want the discount justice? the real cheap stuff? costs us basically nothing? Yeah, we have that in stock!’ Like it’s more relief this isn’t going to turn into a Thing.

Okay, Kerth relinquishes dink status, I like him again.

Vir’s had the Spark back for like 2.6 seconds and ominous visions are already knocking down his door, like goddamn, can you give the man a minute?

Ok, ok, without the suppressant making him all mopey, Virsune’s back to being decisive. That’s good.

Seeing Elani gobsmacked is weirdly satisfying.

Also wow, they weren’t kidding, prophetic dreams are apparently very serious business.

Aaaand that’s chapter 3.

#kind of a liveblog but not really. discount liveblog. the real cheap stuff.#fiction blather #the wild core chronicle

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mannatea · 6 years ago

Note

would love to hear your full hot take on Voltron s7 if you’re inclined to share

there HAS been a lack of salt in general on this blog, huh??

all right, FULL hot take on voltron s7. spoilers ahead. salt. hate. don’t click the readmore if you don’t wanna read it. it’s a disorganized mess also. i’m tired still. s7 drained my ability to write well--sucked it right out of me.

god, where do i even start? the season started out all right. the gameshow episode was fun! but as soon as we returned to earth things went straight into snoozemode. i was itching to turn it off and go back to finish s3 of miss fisher’s murder mysteries, because i just wasn’t that invested in watching just a couple more hours of a new season of voltron. and this after i’d just recently marathoned s1-6 with my husband.

i spent half the time staring at my phone. my husband was on his tablet. we complained about how boring it was aloud. we paused to talk shit about it.

there were a few good things, but it seems to me most of them were at the very beginning of the season. liiiike romelle. my husband was ready to set sail on the s.s. hunk x romelle which was incredible. acxa? also good. KOSMO? the best character in this series now, hands down. notice how little of the good there was in this season? hm.

anyway like i said, as soon as we had to see earth again i was bored. i don’t even know how to organize all my thoughts on this, but i’ll try.

flashback scenes for days. boring.

i’m not saying i could write it better but imo it would have been way more interesting to toss the characters into the situation without the audience having a clue what they were walking into. let them act and be overwhelmed with us?

i don’t care overmuch about sam holt let alone his wife. at first i was pretty okay with them because i’m all for fleshing out side characters, but in the end it was all pretty meh.

idk he was just right about literally everything and could do no wrong. boring.

admiral sanda is one of the worst-written cringey characters i’ve EVER had the displeasure of watching.

the only relief i felt in her character was that she wasn’t fulfilling the latino hotshot trope by being a young latino man instead of an older woman.

but making her an older woman didn’t actually make her interesting.

in fact, none of her motivations or actions made any sense.

you’re telling me this bitch is super by the books but she believes sam holt enough to spend billions on developing new tech on nothing more than his word? okay

if she’s so by the books she should have remained entirely by the books the entire time.

if she believes sam enough to spend billions in manpower and materials to build this shit she probably believes sam enough to trust in his judgment re: military tactics.

seriously i hated this character beyond hate. her little ‘redemption’ arc was poorly done. her getting a photograph at the memorial was annoying.

okay, i can take the latter as the military keeping up appearances. don’t want the population knowing you were betrayed by the, or one of the, highest ranking officers in the military. that’d be a very big yikes.

i find it eXTREMELY hard to believe this lady did all this and only realizes she was an idiot at the last second.

whaT do you meAN you aREn’T keePINg yOur eNd of thE bARgaIN?

I MEAN COME ON SHE’S NOT 23 AND BRIMMING WITH NEW POWER OR LACK OF EXPERIENCE!!!

in other words she can’t possibly be that stupid. nobody over the age of 25 is that stupid, especially someone versed in warfare, in a universe that supposedly had a WWIII.

SERIOUSLY I HATED THIS CHARACTER and for some reason it pissed me off more that she was a woman instead of a crusty old white dude. maybe because, aside from the MFE pilots, there weren’t really any other female officers named and important?

sendak was a disappointing anticlimactic bore.

seriously he was a case of the doldrums.

i don’t know what i expected out of him, but he wasn’t conniving or interesting at all. this is a guy who let his own ships blow up just to get at his foe. i find it incredibly difficult to believe he wouldn’t have just blown that defensive base to dust.

yes, even at the risk of losing a ship.

let’s talk about adam, another useless husk of a character.

kill the gays stereotype in full effect. usually it’s lesbians. i guess good job on it being a guy who dies?

i love how the whole fandom stanned adam and then not only was he dead as fuck but he was pointless as fuck.

voltron writers eagerly watching the audience, tails thumping in a poor attempt at suppressed excitement, bodies practically wriggling like a dog waiting for the command to eat the treat balanced on its nose: TELL US WE DID GOOD!! TELL US WE’re GOOD BOYS!! VALIDATE US!!! WE INCLUDED TEH GAY!!!!

like bitch...y’all gave this away in advance AND FOR WHAT?

you know why. YOU KNOW. i know. WE ALL KNOW. it was just to try and earn representation points with the audience.

i hate rep points more than i hate a lot of things right now. it’s just so cringey. it’s just showrunners trying to get points for being ~progressive~ while never having to actually stick to being progressive on a continual basis lmao.

don’t get me wrong, i don’t give a SINGLE fuck about adam. i’m just mad he was touted at a convention and then ended up meaning abSOLUTELY nothing. no, shiro looking at his memorial plaque doesn’t change anything lmao.

look i’m not saying it makes his relationship with adam ‘less’. but i AM saying that making him an ex and also a dead ex means the creators don’t have to commit to continuing to deal with shiro’s sexuality, whether it’s gay, bi, or pan. they can just avoid addressing it or writing it at all. because this isn’t a romance series. they just shove adam into a figurative and literal casket and want their pats on the back. which, uhhhhh they’re not gonna get from me. adam isn’t progressive. adam’s boring.

all the action in the last four or so episodes? dull. insipid. uninspired. i’m out of insults. i just don’t care about these mfe fighters. earth is almost wiped out. am i supposed to still be caring about it?

that yawn-worthy last stand speech had me wanting to take The Long Sleep like sendak cares if you put up a fight or not. you’re all weaklings. ‘we’ll go down swinging’ is as old as the hills. i don’t know what i needed instead of this, but this wasn’t.

there was a bRIEFLY good moment with hunk but like

how convenient that everyone’s families are alive lol

or at least hunk’s parents and lance’s entire extended family

that annoyed me idk. they’re going for this gritty shit where almost everyone is dead but then pull that?

ya lost me.

on the PLUS side the little scene with keith trying to be of comfort was nice. if anyone Gets It, keith does. and then he tries to help hunk too, which i liked a lot.

but it didn’t detract enough from the Boring of the episodes to really feel good to me. sorry.

hi i’m shiro and i’m sick. i’m so sick. the sickest. but i’m going into space anyway!!!

did i miss something or did shiro’s mysterious sickness just never mean anything?

did the galra cure it? that’d be interesting character stuff.

speaking of shiro, his hover arm is weird and i hate it.

what was with allura giving him her crystal thing? is that ever going to mean anything or was it useless too?

ATLAS is now a giant robot??? what

haha sam holt built this but didn’t know it could do this? don’t fucking??? pull that??? it makes me want to die. it’s so bad. it’s CRINGEY

he’s the enGINEER!! he’d know!! if it was capable of even 50% of that!!!

haha it’s magic

shut the fuuuck up magic needs to still be explained!!!!

where are the citizens and crew on this robot anyway like you do realize they’d be dead from the force of it moving around and probably getting rattled around inside the ship right?

they’ve got a massacre in the hold to clean up when this is over.

the super robot that was like massively strong and shit?

yeah let’s DBZ it up i guess and create antagonists that are exponentially stronger as if that’ll maintain the audience’s attention lmaooooo

it was boring and the reveal at the end with the altean was boring. who cares. i don’t.

i hated the attempt at a wholesome reunion looK IT’S TEAMWORK EVERYONE WORKING TO G E T HER!!!!

shay showing up to hug hunk WITH HER BROTHER was the only wholesome thing about it

i dunno it just seemed kind of forced to me. oh look how the paladins were lucky enough to keep their families!! what about the rest of earth. now none of the paladins can even really relate to it. it’s depressing. :/

i dunno. the beginning was promising! and interesting! and maybe even fun. but the earth’s last stand stuff was dull. i think because it was so rushed it lacked the balance of humor that has made the show worth watching. and there were cute fun MOMENTS in the later episodes of the season (re: kosmo, “i gotta get me one of these”), but it wasn’t enough to balance out how dull the rest of it was.

if there’s anything i missed talking about, let me know and i can add it/make another post. but right now this is my current salt.

i mean mostly my opinion is:

wow that was a waste of my time.

#i could have leveled in wow and gotten more out of my time #like it was seriously SO boring #my husband said it was almost painful to have to sit and keep watching #like...i know we didn't have to but #this is a new season of a show we watch together?#so... anyway yeah it was bad. BAD BAD. boring.#voltron #character hate #cute anons #answered mail

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playfullyevil · 7 years ago

Text

Walkabout chapter 3/3

The last part of my fic for The Magnus Archives

Jonathan is in trouble, what happens now? (aka: I am bad at summaries)

As always thanks to erikaangelchild for the beta!

**Edit** so I initially posted the whole thing as one big post but when I woke up the next day it had been cut off after the first chapter. Now that post has the whole thing again? idk so this may be a repeat, I don’t even know anymore.

Returning to consciousness was not a straightforward journey for Jon, he bobbed near the surface of awareness, brushing against it, but couldn’t quite seem to break through. A slow drip of water echoed in what sounded to be a large space from very far away before retreating back into nothingness. He thought he may have opened his eyes at one point. There was dim light and soft shapes that stubbornly refused to focus but they didn’t last long. Trying to concentrate was exhausting, his meager grip on reality slipped and all was again darkness.

He might have been laying down but couldn’t quite tell in which direction “up” is hiding. Maybe there was movement from somewhere around him but that could be his own breathing. His thoughts were beginning to come into focus. Though they were disorganized as the archive he managed.

Used to manage. The thought came stumbling in a bit after the last. Jon chose to take comfort that he was able to correct an error in his own thinking before fading out again.

Moving any part of his body seemed like more effort than he could bear at the moment. Even the thought of opening his eyes seemed a herculean task. He settled on passive observation to gather information. The dripping sound was back. So, not deaf. Put that in the column labeled “good news”, he remarked dryly to himself. Ah, sarcasm, there’s another for column A.

The dripping wasn’t loud or overly frequent but it was steady. As far as he could tell, he wasn’t wet, more good news. The air smelled damp to a degree that lined up with the water sound. It took effort but his thoughts were beginning to coalesce in a more orderly fashion. The desire to slip back into unawareness beckoned to Jon but he pushed past it.

Okay, so musty smell and dripping water. Sewer? No, a sewer would smell worse. Basement? Maybe. Oh Christ! Please not the tunnels! Have I been brought back so the Not-Them could finish the job?

The thought prompted a sharp gasp of air which wheeled his attention back to his own body.

His sense of awareness in space was much less confused than earlier. Jon was not lying down as he initially thought. He was seated, well slumped, in a high backed wooden chair. His head lolled back and to the left, nestled between the chair back and his shoulder. His arms rested on those of the chair, and his legs were planted on the floor roughly shoulder width apart. It wasn’t the most comfortable of positions but the act of actually moving to do something about it still seemed still beyond his grasp.

He thought about moving without actually succeeding in doing so for some time. He tried to focus on twitching his hand or stretching out his leg but his mind drifted back toward something akin to sleep before his muscles would obey. Eventually, he managed to crack open his eyes. The light was diffuse and the world was out of focus, but in a familiar way. He wasn’t wearing his glasses. Unfortunate but not incapacitating. His eyesight wasn’t that bad compared to some, just enough to give the world a soft focus like what they used in the old Star Trek reruns he saw as a child. After a few blinks he was able to focus on what appeared to be the ceiling of a cellar of some kind.

His face and mouth itched enough that the urge to scratch finally overrode the weight of inertia he seemed to be under. His hand twitched in the direction of his face but never reached its destination. Not for lack of trying though. His wrist was secured firmly to the chair. Both were. Legs too he discovered a moment later. Damn.

Jon struggled to lift his head and get a better look at his situation. The blood that had collected in the back of his skull drained readily as gravity took over. The world tilted making him lightheaded and a bit nauseous. The sensation reminded him exactly why he hadn’t touched tequila since university. Facing forward, he focused on what appeared to be a door and took several steadying breaths while he waited for the room to cease its swaying.

Stomach and brain mostly settled, Jon took stock of the room, at least what he could see from his vantage point. The area in front of him was about three meters across. The wall was old brick but to Jon’s relief, they were red and not the black brick that lined the tunnels under the Institute. A rough hewn door was placed centrally in the wall. Light filtered in from somewhere above and behind him. He had no way of knowing how far the room extended behind him but if he had to guess, he was in what was once a coal storage room similar to the one in his grandmother’s basement.

Looking down at himself in the low light he saw his arms and legs secured to those of the chair by means of silver duct tape. At some point while he was out his coat had been removed, but it was not so cold for that to be a problem. Jon pulled at his bonds to no avail. He was likely to have bruises show up in a couple of days if he wasn’t careful.

If I live that long.

A rue laugh huffed out of him. The skin around his mouth still itched and burned a bit but he wasn’t gagged. The thought of yelling for help occurred to him. Judging from how thick the walls appeared and the lack of outside noises filtering down from above, it was unlikely that anyone but his captor would hear his cries for help.

“If screaming could help me, I doubt I would be capable of doing it at present.” The words came out dry, in a way that pricked at the back of his throat uncomfortably. His attempt at clearing it sent him into an outright coughing fit. A wave of dizziness passed over him as he coughed, but nothing as severe as earlier. When it cleared, he still felt a bit off but less akin to his idiot uni binge drinking, and more like two ciders on an empty stomach. Whatever it was seemed to be clearing out of his system at a decent pace.

Small favors, I suppose.

Jon swallowed carefully and sighed, “Well I’m not just going to sit here and wait for death or…” Sighing again he set about pulling free one of his hands. The left one seemed to have a bit more give. Working methodically, he felt he was making some minor progress at least. The tape around his wrist seemed to be stretching a little.

Maybe, just maybe… Tucking his thumb as much as he could Jon winced as he did his best to squeeze his hand from its restraint.

The sound of someone descending creaking stairs stopped him cold.

Jon gave another frantic tug and let out a pained hiss of breath when the tape refused to give way. It was no good, with enough time he might have been able to work free one of his hands but he no longer had that time. The footsteps finished their decent and the crisp sound of hard soled shoes rang across the stone floor as they approached the door.

Bottling down on the panic that threatened to overwhelm him, Jon closed his eyes and resumed the closest thing he could recall to the position from which he had awoken. Doing his best to even out his breathing, he waited. There was a click from behind the door and through closed eyes, he could tell a light had been switched on.

More sounds, a ring of keys, the turning of a lock, a door opening. Whoever it was stepped through and shut the door behind them but did not seem to lock it. Jon couldn’t remember if there had been a lock on this side of the door, he hadn’t thought to check.

A disappointed sigh came from the air in front of him. “I know you’re awake, Jon. You can stop this play acting.”

He considered continuing to feign unconsciousness simply to spite the man whose voice he identified as belonging to his former boss. Ultimately, Jon decided against provoking a suspected murderer. There didn’t seem to be an obvious threat in the statement but his voice was firm and discouraged argument.

Cracking open his eyes, Elias Bouchard, head of the Magnus Institute, stood framed against the wooden door. At first glance, he may have appeared casual but Jon knew that every move Elias made had an undercurrent of power and control. He wore creased brown trousers paired with matching jacket. Above a dark blue V-necked sweater, a white shirt collar peaked out, secured at the neck by a knotted, paisley tie. No signs of the day’s previous struggle rumpled his immaculate clothes. He stood, back straight, and in his left hand he held a glass of water with a pair of glasses hooked between his fingers.

“That’s better,” he said with an edge of satisfaction and took a step towards Jon.

Jon flinched away, pressing himself as far back in the chair as he could. The sudden movement overbalanced him and he began to tip backward. Elias’s hand shot out and grabbed the chair back before it could fall, the sleeve of his jacket brushed against Jon’s ear.

Jon tugged again at his bindings, trying to squirm away from the man now looming over him while Elias settled the chair firmly on the floor.

“Shhhh, Jon, calm down.” Elias’s hand moved from the chair to Jon’s shoulder. He squeezed in what may have been an attempt at comfort or what could have been a threat. Judging by how close the hand was to his neck and how firm his grip was, Jon really couldn’t be sure either way. Elias’s eyes met his and he cocked his head ever so slightly, and gave a small smile. Again, Jon was unable to discern intended comfort or threat.

Whether from the touch, the words, the eye contact, or simply paralyzed by blind fear Jon stilled.

Elias gave Jon’s shoulder another squeeze before releasing him and stepping back.

“Elias, what is going on? Where am I and why have- “

“Would you like some water?” the older man cut him off, “You must be thirsty.”

The words had a genuine sounding kindness to them that made Jon pause. At the mention of thirst, he swallowed and coughed once. “Um… yes actually, I…” His eyes shifted from Elias to around the room before landing once again on his former boss. “What are you playing at? What is all… this?” he gave a halfhearted tug against the chair to punctuate his words.

“I couldn’t have you running off again before we had a proper chance to chat.”

“I, uh…What?”

“Would you have come willingly if I had asked nicely?”

“Probably not.”

“Precisely.”

Elias produced a knife from his pocket and opened it with a click making Jon’s heart skip a beat.

“Do calm down,” Elias scolded as if addressing a particularly disobedient puppy. “You’ll need a free hand if you want to drink the water. I’m not going to feed you like an infant.”

The older man bent down and slid the sharp looking blade between Jon’s wrist and the chair it was held to. A quick motion sliced through the bunched tape and Jon’s left hand was free. Elias took a smooth step back before Jon had more than the briefest flicker of a thought to make a grab for the knife.

His newly freed hand throbbed slightly as the blood returned to full circulation. Red marks on his wrist stood out in stark contrast to his pale flesh. He flexed his hand experimentally and shook out his arm once before bringing it up to scratch his face. It was more tender than he thought and he winced when he came across what seemed to be a sore on the side of his mouth.

“Chemical burn,” Elias responded to the unasked question, “chloroform has a rather low vapor pressure. An unfortunate side effect but nothing too severe, should heal in a couple of days.”

The hand holding the knife had been lowered but he made no move to put it away. “Are we going to have a problem?”

Jon fixed Elias with an incredulous look but managed to bite back the words threatening to spill out of him. Are we going to have a fucking problem!? You kidnapped me! I’m tied to a goddamn chair! Of course, we have a problem!

“Any new problems at least.” Elias amended, reading the look on Jon’s face. He held up the glass of water, not quite offering it just yet. Not a drop had been spilled despite Elias having moved suddenly to catch his falling chair. Of course, Elias would be the kind of person who could carry a cup full to the brim down a flight of stairs without a drop ending up on the saucer.

Wincing as he passed his hand over his mouth again he managed to grind out a, “No, I suppose not.”

Anger was replacing his previous fear and the impulse to resist at every possible moment was strong. The picture Jon’s logical brain was piecing together however, implied that Elias didn’t want him dead. Not yet at least. Elias wanted something, whether as an agent of Beholding or as something else, only time would tell. But that meant that he had time to pick his moment later.

The older man fixed Jon with the full force of his gaze, scrutinizing him. A few moments later he stepped forward to hold the water within Jon’s reach.

It was warm to the touch and lighter than he had expected. Plastic, not glass as he had originally assumed. That definitely lowered its value as any kind of weapon. Jon caught a faint hint of lemon and some kind of sweetness when he sniffed at the liquid. Was he trying to hide some kind of poison? Jon met Elias’s gaze over the glass and cocked a questioning eyebrow.

“Really, Jon? Why would I poison you? If I wanted you dead you never would have woken up in the first place. You had a rather nasty coughing fit while you were unconscious. It seemed you could do with a bit of honey lemon water. No one is forcing you to drink it, dump it on the floor for all I care.”

The thought of throwing the drink in Elias’s face was quite appealing. Anything to rumple the older man’s proper appearance and bring him down a peg or two. It wouldn’t be worth it though. As glorious as the mental image was, truth be told, Jon’s throat was dry and sore. If he threw this away it was doubtful he would be getting more anytime soon.

Jon raised the glass to his lips took an experimental sip. The warm drink was indeed soothing on his sore throat. He paused, waiting to see if his previous nausea or drowsiness returned. When none did he continued drinking.

Jon nodded to Elias, “Are those my glasses?”

“They are. Would you like them?”

“If you don’t mind.”

“Not at all.”

Elias stepped forward once again, extending the glasses. It was a bit awkward with only one hand to work with but eventually Jon managed to get them settled on his face. The world came into focus, giving him access to a few more details. Elias’s crisp suit had dark blue pinstripes matching the sweater he wore. But more interestingly, a red mark stood out on Elia’s temple. It would seem Jon had managed to clip him with a wild punch or an elbow during the attack. Seeing that the older man hadn’t made it out completely unscathed caused Jon to smile slightly.

If Elias noticed the change in expression, he did not react.

“Jon,” he began, “you are not a stupid man but you certainly have been behaving as one lately.”

“Says the psychotic killer.” Jon spat, glancing toward the knife.

“Rather messy work were I to guess, and not something undertaken lightly.” Elias said darkly, contemplating the knife in his hand briefly before returning his gaze to the Archivist. “And I’ll thank you not to interrupt me.”

Jon narrowed his eyes at Elias but did not speak.

“As I said, you’re not a stupid man. However, bumbling your way through morning rush hour…” Elias made a tsk noise as he folded the knife with a practiced motion and returned it to his pocket. “You nearly walked right into a trap.”

“It would seem I did walk into a trap!” he used his free hand to gesture to the basement cell they currently inhabited.

“Though it may not look it, it was in fact, a rescue.”

Jon scoffed. “In that case I don’t suppose you’ll mind if I get myself out of here.” He began to work at the tape holding his right arm to the chair.

“Jon,” Elias warned, “Don’t”

The command gave him pause, but a heartbeat later he resumed work.

“You will be released when we are finished here, but until then-“ Elias seized Jon’s wrist with surprising strength. “This is for your protection as much as mine, we are worried you are going to hurt yourself.”

Jon managed to twist free from Elias’s grip and land a punch to the side of his head. The older man stumbled back with a cry of surprise and pain. Jon scrabbled at the tape wrapped around his still bound wrist. It was too bunched from his earlier escape attempts to tear easily.

He had managed to work a small tear started along one edge when a hand caught him across the face, stunning him. His ears rung, his head swam, and he tasted blood. Then Elias had him by the throat and pulled him forward.

“Jonathan Sims, I am not an unreasonable man but you seem determined to test my limits” Every syllable was clipped, clear, and enunciated with precision. Only the strong pulse of the vein on his neck, of which Jon had a close-up view, betrayed anger in Elias’s calm demeanor.

Blood pounding in his ears Jon grasped at the hand around his throat, desperately to pry free the squeezing fingers. No good, darkness was creeping at the edges of his vision, he had to try something else. Abandoning his previous plan of attack, he decided to go for the eyes. Elias was fast, almost as if he had anticipated the move and with his free hand batted away Jon’s attack.

Releasing his throat, Elias grabbed Jon’s arm in both hands and slammed it back against the chair’s wooden arm sending a shock of pain up his elbow. Through great gasps of air and a subsequent coughing fit, he was dimly aware of the older man reaching behind the chair to retrieve a roll of tape. Using one hand to press down on Jon’s now quite sore wrist he wrapped the tape around several times, much more tightly than before. After a quick look at the state of it, the process was repeated on his right arm.

Jon’s hands throbbed as the bindings began cutting off circulation. He grunted and pulled at them to no avail before sagging back down in the chair, defeated.

The commotion had mussed Elias more than a bit. His hair in every which way, jacket out of place, and tie askew. There had still been a bit of water in the glass and what was left had managed to spill down the knee of his trouser legs. The placement and quantity weren’t all that evocative of having pissed himself but Jon took what little comfort he could at his former boss’s expense.

The older man undid his top button and began pulling at the knot of his tie. Taking piece of paisley fabric off, he folded it and stowed it away in the jacket’s inside pocket. He brushed the residual water from his slacks then shed his jacket and folded it over one arm. He raked his hand through his hair and took a breath to compose himself.

The end result was the most casually dressed he thinks he’s ever seen Elias. Tim had once made a joke that the Bouchard children must all born wearing perfectly tailored suits. Martin had chimed in with, “Bespoke Babies, by Bouchard” It had actually managed to illicit half a rare laugh out of Jon. That was back before Prentiss, when the archival team were all on speaking terms.

“Are you finished having your tantrum?” Elias sighed.

Jon glowered and shifted in his chair to a more comfortable position. Flexing his bound hands, he said nothing but reluctantly nodded once.

“Good.” He regarded the man seated before him for moment, seeming to look almost through him. “You need to be more careful. All it took was a few notes from Nikolai Denikin’s steam organ to send you flying away in a panic.”

“How do you know about- “

“How do you think, Jon? Watching is what we do. You were reasonably well hidden from them before but after today, I fear they will be narrowing their focus on you. The archives are protected but I cannot let you return to them just yet. We need those statements.”

“What? I don’t- What-? The statements?” Jon was suddenly at a loss. “And what makes you think I would want to ever set foot in that cursed building again!?”

“You’re the Archivist,” Elias said without a trace of irony, “you belong there. It is more a home to you than you have ever had or ever will.”

It was something he knew deep down but was unwilling to admit. Jonathan Sims, the Archivist, marked by Beholding, belongs in the Archives. No matter what he does, how he tries to fight against it, he will always return to the Archive. That realization hit him like a physical weight and he blinked back tears.

“As for the missing statements, they have a way of finding their way back to the Archivist even if was an Archivist who initially stole them. For some reason the statements we need the most are being prevented from returning to the Archive itself. Once you left, lo and behold, they started showing up at your door.”

“How could you possibly know that?”

“Once you stop fighting and accept your role you will be able to answer that for yourself.”

“Stop fighting…”

“Yes. At least with us, Jon. For now. Larger things are coming and we need you with us on this one.”

“The Unknowing?”

“The Unknowing. Gertrude hid things away from us, things we need for the coming battles. Those statements give us the shape of what we’re up against.” Urgency crept into Elias’s voice as he spoke. “Pieces are moving sooner than we anticipated and it is crucial we see the whole playing field before the fight begins.”

“So, you need me to stay in hiding, waiting for breadcrumbs from my dead predecessor.” Jon leaned forward, tape digging into his arms, “My predecessor, whom you murdered in cold blood.”

“I told you, I don’t want to hurt you. There are larger things at stake than the life of any one person,” his voice hardened, “even if they are the Archivist.” His eyes met with Jon’s and held them there.

“Would you like some time to think on this?”

The two men stayed that way for some time, eyes locked on one another. Jon held is gaze for as long as he was able but in the end, blinked first. Elias looked resigned as he pulled out the knife from his pocket.

The Archivist held his face impassive as the older man approached.

The knife opened with a click.

Elias crouched, bringing himself to eye level with Jon. The Archivist closed his eyes and waited.

There was a sharp tug at his left leg, then his right. Jon opened his eyes to see Elias evaluating the much tighter tape restraining his arms. The older man seemed to contemplate this for a moment before folding away his knife and getting to work peeling up the end, unwinding the tape from around Jon’s arm. The last few loops had dug in deeply and he hissed out a noise of pain as they came away.

Before he could pull his arm away completely from the chair, Elias placed a firm, but oddly gentle hand on the back of his hand. “Not yet.” He made quick work of the other arm before stepping back and nodding.

Jon’s hands ached and throbbed in time with his beating heart as circulation in his fingers was restored. His left wrist was especially tender and he took turns massaging one then the other.

“Am I free to go?”

“Yes. Of course, you are still wanted by the police so I would advise against returning to your flat. I did however, take the liberty and you will find some clothes and cash upstairs”

The thought of Elias rummaging around his flat was not a pleasant one. Especially after the man had framed him for murder.

“Detective Tonnor drew her own conclusion on the matter. I never suggested you were the culprit.”

How did he-?

“You’re very easy to read, Jon. Don’t worry, we’ll work on that when you get back.”

Jon stood to meet Elias’s gaze. “’When I get back?’ How long do you suppose that will be?”

“That depends on how many statements need to find their way back to you. We’ll be in touch.”

“If I can’t go home and I can’t go back to the Magnus Institute, where am I supposed to go?”

“Back to Georgina Barker’s, of course. Do clean yourself up a bit before you go, you know how she worries. Lucky for you it is cold enough for long sleeved shirts.” He said, glancing down and the angry marks on Jon’s wrists.

The Archivist’s hands balled into fists and he imagined punching the smug expression off Elias Bouchard’s face. He forced it down and made himself open his hands.

Elias raised his eyebrows and seemed genuinely pleased. It was unsettling.

“I don’t want to put her in danger. Is there any way to guarantee her safety?”

“Almost certainly not. No one is ever safe, especially with what is coming. What I can tell you is that she is in no more danger than any other person in the city. Provided you don’t lead them directly to her door.

“Keep an eye out, you’re better at spotting these kinds of things than you know. I would never have hired you otherwise. This won’t be the first time they try to flush you out. They want you to act without thinking. Don’t let them dictate your behavior. You were lucky I got to you before they did.”

Jon scoffed and continued rubbing his wrist, “Yeah, lucky.”

“You have no idea how lucky.” Elias fixed Jon with an intense stare. “I did what I had to do quickly and quietly. If you had managed to cause a scene the both of us, along with anyone else who’s attention you called, would be off somewhere having our flesh peeled away with excruciating slowness all while they render the fat from our still living bodies. Believe me, they can extend that process for months. Every moment an agony, unable to move, unable to sleep, unable to scream.”

That stopped Jon cold. The two men stood in uncomfortable silence.

“Do keep an eye on cats.” Elias suddenly remarked. “They don’t react favorably to aspects of the Stranger. Think of them as an… early warning signal.”

“Okay…?” Jon responded, off balance as the tension bled away. “Are there any lying in wait nearby? Aspects, not cats.”

“Not here, they seem to be focusing on the south side for now. They will probably disperse soon enough, they typically don’t have the patience for a drawn-out hunt.”

“Comforting.” Jon remarked dryly.

“We take what little comfort where we can.” Elias shifted his jacket to his other arm before opening the door to the small room and walking out. “I need to get back to the Institute. You’ll see yourself out?”

“Fine, sure.”

Elias nodded, turned, and walked away. As he climbed the stairs. Jon could swear he saw a hint of something metallic tucked in the waistband at the small of the other man’s back.

The Archivist, and that’s what he is no matter how he struggles against it, stretched and turned to survey the room now that he’d been freed from that damn chair. His limbs ached from sitting on its hard surface for who knows how long.

Off to the side of the wooden chair, he spotted his coat sitting atop what appeared to be a large roll of industrial garbage bags. He tried not to think too hard about it as he retrieved his coat. Footsteps creaked on the floorboards overhead and the sound of a door opening then closing drifted down from above. Elias had left. Time to retrieve whatever clothes and money are waiting for him upstairs before doing the same.

As his hand hovered over the switch to the light for that small room, Jon remembered Martin describing how he found the previous Archivist. A small square room, underground, in a wooden chair, covered in dust, three gunshots to the chest. He suppressed a shudder. It would seem Gertrude Robinson’s chat with Elias Bouchard ended differently than his own.

Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, flipped the switch and turned to leave. He had work to do.

#The Magnus Archives #i made a thing!#fic

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