#idk the censors for things but i have other things to accept help too just ask

[cowplushies]

blarrrgghh I've been hesitant of doing this cause I feel really bad asking but I desperately need help with my phone bill so making one of these kinds of posts im sorry

so as stated above im in need of help with my phone bill I moved in with my fiance about 5 or so months ago and he's been helping me out a lot with stuff but given he's trying to provide for 2 people with a minimum wage job he can't cover everything so... I haven't been able to get my phone bill paid on time I haven't been able to make my payment for 2 months now and it's gotten really price heavy that I'm going to hope turning to this may hopefully help but waaa

the amount I need is $364.21 I'm sorry for it being so high I only have $10 to my name attached below shows it

again im sorry for having to do this but it's stressing me out so bad I haven't been able to call or text family for help due to my phone basically being a brick if you can reblog please do usual don't tags for this post to please any support of any kind would be very helpful thank you

my ven is @/arcanacard

[kaidatheghostdragon]

Starefire is liminal

Correct me if im wrong, but she got her starbolts from unethical alien experimentation, right? What if the experiment was exploring ectoplasm and liminality? Ergo, starfire's starbolts are actually ectorays.

There are so many possibilities to explore. Does she know she's liminal or the nature of her starbolts? Do the GIW clock her as a ghost instead of an alien? Do they hunt her down or monitor from a distance because she's too high profile?

Does the justice league learn about the giw through their interactions with starfire, and only discover phantom as a side effect? Here we can run the full gamut of possibilities, from phantom just starting out, or phantom successfully protecting an entire off-the-radar city (not something ive seen very often), to phantom post-capture, or bad reveal and in hiding.

Also, when i first thought of this idea, i immediately considered the similarities between starfire and jazz, especially if jazz is a fire core liminal with flight and ectoblasts. I was kind of considering a plot where a video of the giw hunting jazz is released on the web, but the video goes viral with the title of "fashion police attack starfire" or something. Jazz deliberately played up the similarities she has to starfire (makeup, costume, and everything) and tucker deliberately released the video in a way that would get past the censors and catch the justice league's attention. It was a desperate ploy that the entirety of team phantom was in on to get help when the giw escalated to hurting civilians, or captured phantom, or some other emergency.

Then, as the league investigate the starfire impersonator, they discover all the monitoring the giw have done on the real starfire (that team phantom might or might not know about) to confirm that she's liminal, and the plans theyre devoloping to quietly capture her.

It would be equal parts angsty and hilarious if the Justice League destroyed the GIW without ever identifying the impersonator or discovering amity park and phantom. Maybe batman only discovered them months later while trying to close up loose ends? Idk, its an idea. (I kinda wanna avoid the whole "summon the ghost king" subplot, if for no other reason than the fact that its been overdone?)

OTOH, the league could be doing a very thorough internal investigation to figure out how many of their members are "ecto-contaminated" according to the giw's tech, and the magic users would have to step in and explain things if batman tries to take the "contamination" at face value and try to purge it. Once they explain the concept of liminality and how they can sense it from most members, batman is simultaneously unsurprised that most of the league is "death-touched" and nearly having an aneurysm because they never thought to explain this sooner.

To add a bit of crack at the end, after the justice league has thoroughly destroyed the giw and figured out all their own existential crises (and still havent discovered who the imposter was), THAT'S when "perpetual pot-stirrer" Phantom shows up on the watchtower all like, "yes, you have passed all of my tests and reacted appropriately to the information of liminality. I will now deign you with my presence and give you many blessings of the ghost king. You are also now allowed to visit amity park. Treat these privileges with wisdom and temperance." (As if he's NOT a superpowered teen desperately looking for like-minded peers and unconditional acceptance.)

[lunerabo]

Been thinking about making this post for a while and only recently figured out a good way to articulate it but I unironically think Gege’s kind of a genius for using what is most definitely censorship of a gay relationship to his advantage in writing whatever was between Gojo and Geto.

I think what a lot of people get wrong in saying things like how this was a perfect setup for a romance and it’s bullshit that he wrote all that just to label them as best buds is the fact that they’re forgetting that in general homosexuality is nowhere near as accepted over there as it is in the west. BL and GL absolutely exist but read any of them and it becomes very clear to you that the general attitude towards it is that it’s seen as a taboo fetish and not a preference. If you have that in mind, it suddenly makes a lot more sense why they’d want to censor it especially in shonen manga (even though you still get boys falling face first into racks large enough to have their own gravitational fields—something Gege’s also notoriously avoidant of, thank goodness). Not saying it’s right or that it’s not problematic, but when you take into account the differences in attitudes across the board, it’s easier to understand.

Gege’s aware of this. If he wasn’t, and was less careful about putting queer characters in the story, jjk would have never seen the light of day. We know he’s not shy about doing that, as proven by the existence of Megumi and Mai, who are both canonically bi/pan, Kirara, a trans woman, Mahito, who is genderless, and Kenjaku and Uraume, who are loosely implied to be nonbinary or genderfluid. The reason he can get away with this is because none of them are the larger-than-life hero holding the gaze of every fucking pair of eyes on the planet even in death. He’s already toeing the line with the aforementioned characters, for the same reason that other progressive authors only ever seem to make background and side characters queer but never the super important ones. Gojo as a character has a lot of fans and is arguably the thing that attracts readers in the first place, so it goes without saying that a less accepting audience would get turned off by the confirmed queerness of their favorite character. It also goes without saying that this would be very likely to cost Gege his job, so confirming anything is too big of a risk to take. All he can realistically do is tiptoe around it and lay out the signs and hope we read them right.

Gojo and Geto were not in a relationship and couldn’t ever have been simply because Gege wasn’t allowed to write that. So what do you do when something in real life is influencing the story like that? Ultimately, you have to find a way to use a roadblock like that to make it fit in seamlessly, and I think he did a really good job of it. Because the fact is actually that it wasn’t a perfect setup for a romance; the feelings were there but the lives they led were not ones that a relationship develops in, especially not after both of them fell off opposite deep ends in the different ways that they did. What it was a perfect setup for was tragedy. He can’t confirm a relationship but clearly he’s allowed to make them pine for each other, so being barred from bringing them together helped to create a tragic so-close-yet-so-far type of situation that fit everything really well, and made it that much more painful to see them ripped apart.

Idk. I’m tired.

[no-passaran]

ok but if people can apply for asylum on grounds of 'i am asexual and therefore a looming forced marriage is why i need to flee' it leads to the dangerous precedent that women who aren't asexual could be refused asylum, idk if this is very coherently explained. but tbh my biggest issue with making asexuality part of the LGBT is just that a lot of asexuals seem to think that their boundaries and issues are more important than those of them who aren't asexual.

But in that case, lesbian and gay people who also face exactly the same struggles as asexual people in their home countries (forced marriages, rape, conversion therapy) shouldn't be allowed asylum either. And what about other groups that are also allowed asylum, like political dissidents? Should nobody be granted asylum anymore? And asexual people are more likely to be put in forced marriages than straight people, and the forced marriage is only the visible tip of the iceberg of a long list of abuses and trying to "fix" them from their families.

The thing is, everyone should be allowed to move wherever they want. It sucks that we live in a world where the state has to accept whether or not you can move to a different location and gets to decide whether your reasons are good enough or not. And we have to work towards dismantling all of that. But that's a long-term goal, and asylum laws exist right now and can help people right now. It's a good thing that you can get accepted as an asylum seeker because you're gay or lesbian and that's repressed in your country, so it's not difficult to add asexuality to those already existing laws. That's a short-term goal and that can be achieved and can save lives now. It doesn't mean that it's any more or less deserved than people who move for any other reason (economical reasons for example), but it's a strategy that can actually be achieved now. The point is to expand who that right gets applied to, not to further restrict it and keep more people in suffering.

Idk what you mean with the last part of your message though. You don't want asexual people to be in the LGBT community because some of us defend their boundaries too much? Everyone should defend their boundaries, nobody should have to be subjected to what they don't want to. That's a good thing for everyone to learn to respect, and the only thing it will result in is in more diversity of what gets done. For example, if a local LGBT community organizes a party that's all centered around sex and some asexual people don't want to go, that doesn't mean that party isn't going to happen or that they're not going to support that party, it only mean that in addition to that there will be other activities that they like, for example conferences and debates, political activities, book presentations, chill meetings over coffee, or whatever they propose. This will be good not only for the asexual people who proposed it, but also for anyone else who is into this plan, minors, etc. Many people might even be interested in both. Greater diversity of options is always good, the thing is just not to censor each other (which I've never seen asexual people do, but is what you're doing rn when saying asexual people shouldn't be allowed because some of them annoyed you, thus this whole demographic group doesn't deserve support from the only community fighting to end the oppression they're subjected to).

[welcome-to-oslov]

I wonder if Jorning can be as deliciously awful as I hope he is, without needing to retcon Tilrey's warm goodbye to him in A Serviceable Boy 😅

Jorning was just so sneaky & lecherous in their first meeting! And as big as Bror?! An Ansha with power? Linden's partner in crime "good cop"? Clearly he loves his job & has done this kinda thing with others Linden brought home 😒. Gurl do I have some whump asks maybe I'd be too embarrassed to even send 🤣🥵😈

Tilrey's not stupid. Maybe Jorning confuses him at first, shocks & hurts him when the help he needed turns out to be what it is; Tilrey comes to understand he's in the room with two people dominating him, not anyone looking out for him. But maybe Jorning's crazy switch to comforter as soon as it's over eventually just makes Tilrey give up & decide to accept the cognitive dissonance of "sure, whatever, Jorning's a good guy, he helps me, he stops anything from going too far" (further than Linden & Jorning want, at least 🙄) -- easiest of all terrible options of ways to feel in his situation?

Idk idk but I'm sure I'll find out!

Whatever you've got planned, even if completely different from my brain lol, will be an incredible part of the story I'm sure 🙌

Jorning is one part of the prequel I haven’t “filled in” in my head, so I’m having these thoughts right along with you! I do think that if Tilrey is desperate enough, and Jorning is always the person who gives him care and support after a horrible encounter with Linden, he might start censoring out Jorning’s complicity. Or convincing himself that it’s okay because he (Tilrey) is actually the problem for being so “sensitive.” I can imagine him meeting Jorning when he’s older and being shocked that he considered this guy a friend. Poor kid. 😥

[rainbowcrowley]

your internship post reminded me of something. i’m going to tell you a story

many years ago i got a job i had really wanted. the people were pleasant and accepted that i was a bit different from them, but they were much more ordinary than me. they might have been open to being educated on things, but they’d lived their whole lives oblivious to many disadvantages that had affected me. it wasn’t just that they hadn’t been subject to those disadvantages, they didn’t really know anyone who had. people like me were theoretical to them, and they’d never given us much thought

and slowly i realised that if i educated them, in their eyes i would be making myself more and more weird, and more and more a symbol of specific categories than a person. so in a way, the more they understood the things that matter to me, the less they would see me as an individual person.

they weren’t bad people, but i censored myself around them. often i didn’t say things because i wasn’t up for the effort of explaining myself. and the more i didn’t say things, the worse i felt, especially when i left the office and relaxed. it was fucking lonely.

i was even less open with my friends because i was emotionally tired after a long day with my colleagues. if i’d had someone (or someones) who got what i was going through and helped me talk about it i probably could have made it through if it was a fixed term. but i didn’t have someone like that, i wasn’t emotionally aware enough to realise that was what i needed, and it was a permanent job..

so i left and lied about why i was leaving because i didn’t want to hurt their feelings!

i’m not presuming your experience is super similar, just sharing in case there’s enough we have in common that it sheds a tiny bit of light. just the fact that you can see the danger sign even if you don’t know quite why you’re feeling it is an advantage. that type of self awareness is so valuable. i wish you happiness and success, whether that comes through finding a better way to make it through the internship, or finding another route to take in your life

i got this ask over a month ago and i always wanted to get back to it and answer it, but I couldn't find the right words. idk if the person who sent me this is even going to see it but.. I'm very sorry for not posting it sooner. the first time I read this it actually helped a lot. and I'll forever be thankful for that <3 i hope you're doing well too!

why am I posting/sharing this now? bc my internship is almost over and I have a lot of Feelings.

an update on the overall situation: it got better. i still feel somewhat out of place, but I accepted that. i think it's just the Queer Experience? like I have my lil bubble of queer friends, online and offline, but "the real world" is, in fact, not that. obviously DUH. idk whether I'm just being weird or naive or so out of touch with said "real world" that this fact hit me so hard. I always thought I knew it, but... yeah, experiencing it firsthand brought me down to earth HARD.

anyway.

my supervisor and colleagues are no bigots. they didn't say anything bad or hurtful, but it's clear that the same thing anon said happened here, too, in a way. thing is... I censored myself completely. i was (still am) so terrified of showing the "real me" that I HAVE to censor myself. and it's fine, really. let's say I'm used to it (looking at you, dear extended family) and I can live with that. it's frustrating and tiring sometimes, but it's fine.

so right now there are other parts of the internship that bother me. things that don't have to do with the social aspects of it. things like the long commute, the fact that I didn't learn any new cool things like I expected and it can get pretty boring sometimes when there's nothing to do (which happens in IT support... sometimes things just WORK and you're sitting in the office doing nothing twiddling your thumbs besides being on stand-by). and my teacher and social worker want me to extend the internship bc I'm good at what I'm doing but I just..... UGH. I just don't feel like it. and idk if it's bc of all that happened, or that anon said above, or all the things that bother me or if it's just my depression acting up (again) bc I've not been doing great over the past few weeks in that particular department for reasons that have nothing to do with work.

i don't know what to do or feel and it's annoying. I'm just so tired. (and I need therapy like, right now. meh.)

thanks for reading <3

[will-o-the-witch]

Obviously you don’t have to answer this but I was curious how one might go about becoming more respectful/appreciative of other religions, specifically Christianity?

I recognize that stereotyping Christians and the Christian god is disrespectful and wrong (as you’ve mentioned in one of your recent reblogs) but over time I’ve developed a lot of Christian specific religious trauma to the point that I find it hard to think about it without getting a bit angry. I admire how you’re able to respect Christianity and defend it’s believers while not being Christian and while also being able to acknowledge some of the not great aspects about it (such as missionary culture) so idk I was just curious if you might know of a way I could grow to be more tolerant/accepting/less spiteful towards Christianity as well because I know it’s wrong of me but it’s hard for me to really feel comfy around concepts of Christianity. Or even if you just have some resources you could point to that would be helpful as well. Thank you :))) And I hope I’m not being disrespectful to you or anyone else by asking you this question- I just don’t quite know where else I might find a good answer and you seem to be a really good person to go to about learning to respect and appreciate all religions even outside of one’s own. I really enjoy your blog and your insight into these topics! Thank you! (Also off topic question but should I as a non-Jewish person censor the word ‘god’ like gd if talking to someone who’s Jewish as I know Jewish people will not type it out fully or is that not necessary? Sorry if this questions is disrespectful too!)

Hey hey! Good questions ^^

Working on your trauma is always going to be an important thing, for this and for your life as a whole. It's important to recognize the ways it affects you and find ways to cope and/or rise above it with time. It's a lot harder to have grace with an open wound.

Don't get me wrong, Christianity still makes me really uncomfortable. I seldom feel completely safe/welcome in Christian-centric spaces and I have a LOT of opinions about the belief structure and the institution. That said, I know none of that is due to any of the individual Christians in my life, who are generally very open-minded and loving people. There's no reason to take it out on individuals who may not even align themselves with the areas I have problems with, just like it wouldn't be fair for them to take a criticism with Judaism out on me. We're all just folks, and people have a right to find comfort and meaning with the tradition that best suits them, even if it doesn't suit me personally. As long as they're being genuinely kind and considerate it's not really my business, yk?

Also- you don't have to censor Gd. We do it for a personal long-winded reason I won't get into here but there's technically no hard-and-fast law against just saying God, and if there was you would not be beholden to it as a gentile anyway!

[a-dragons-journal]

I completely understand your reservations about answering that last ask (as of writing, it was the one where annon was upset someone said you could choose kintypes) but I did want to thank you for it. I've been having my own dread trying to figure out my own otherkin identity and what you said did help ease things a little. Still will take time to sort myself out of course, but I think it'll be a little less stressful now.

Yeah, Plan B was to write an anonymized version of it where the exact person the original anon was talking about was censored out for privacy, because frankly it is an important discussion to be having - discussions like that are the fuckin heart of this community! Without them we literally would not exist the way we do today! And it does not need to be a "there's one right answer" sometimes it's just listening to other people's worldviews and points of view on the subject and learning from each other and sometimes we are allowed to come away disagreeing but still having learned things, alright, not every disagreement is a breaking point

idk, if someone asking "We accept all these other origins of kintypes as all being otherkin, what makes this specific one exempt when we really boil it down? And is that truly a worthy distinction or should we deconstruct and remove it?" genuinely sounds the same as someone saying "lol kins are something you can pick up and drop at will and they don't really have any impact on you, stop taking it so seriously" to you, then - in the gentlest way possible, possibly you have gotten burned out and overwhelmed by the community discourse and you need to take a step back for a bit in order to clear your head and hear what people are actually saying properly again. (And like, me too, I been there, I done that, I've also failed to do that and had to put my foot in my mouth afterward which fuckin sucks especially if you've got RSD or anything similar. It happens; people fuck up and/or misunderstand each other, especially on a subject that we're all so chronically burned-out and aggravated about.)

And like - there are definitely times when people say stupid shit that genuinely does deserve a "you have misunderstood the very basics of what you are trying to talk about, try again," don't get me wrong. Y'all've seen my opinions on KFF. But there are also times when people clearly do understand the subject and are challenging some of our typical thoughts around it in a way that might sound superficially similar to the former - and granted the difference between those two things is not always clear, but figuring it out Is Important, especially before you start responding to them. (And again, even if it's the former - going and sending anons to other bloggers in the community basically calling that person out for having a Wrong Opinion is not helping anything (except maybe letting you blow off some steam, but like. that's something to do in private DMs with a trusted friend, not public asks to relatively large blogs), and is relatively likely to do harm.)

idk I'm fuckin tired, tl;dr be rootin' be tootin' and by god be shootin' but most of all be kind to each other alright? benefit of the doubt, never assuming malice where ignorance will suffice, and giving yourself time before acting in anger are good rules of thumb

[memryse]

hello tumblr i present my canon-compliant "DSMP But... Everybody Discovered Large-Scale Organised Religion" mianite au which took a few hours to write up oops. basically here is a list of which god everybody would follow and why, based on canon events (i have therefore left out a couple of the members who don't really do lore or be on the server much because i definitely don't know about them enough to be accurate!)

dream: mianite. obsessed with control, you get it. went too far though and developed his own obsession with controlling the server so he is now godless and in jail

tommy: dianite. tommy is a favourite of dianite's - he's idealistic with a penchant for chaos, and like i said in my other post dianite probably sees himself in tommy a little. they're both misunderstood as Bad People

tubbo: ianite -> dianite, he converts post-doomsday. grew up as a follower of ianite and trying to follow her path put added pressure on him during his presidency. embraces being a dianitee with the start of the nuke program, but he keeps all his ianitee family heirlooms. ianite still holds a soft spot for him because of his family and occasionally gives him minor blessings. that being said she's of course a little disappointed he chose to change gods, but respects his decision

ranboo: no god, but enderwalk ranboo is an acolyte of ianite; awakeboo eventually converts to ianite when he reads awakeboo's note and decides to become more active in conflict resolution. he realises ianite actually aligns with his newfound ideals, and is of course more in touch with his ender side. however prior to this he wasn't really very keen on worshipping any gods, seeing as all he saw from them was wars waged in their names.

wilbur: also an atheist. probably prayed to dianite during pogtopia ("dream, i want to be your vassal" type beat) but other than that he's the type to criticise organised religion and be an independent leader, no need for gods. wilbur and ranboo narrative foils my beloveds!!!

techno: ianite. the thing about c!techno is he has one goal and he will stick to that no matter what - it's not total order, but it's not chaos either because there is motivation and reasoning behind it. also, a core tenet of ianitee ideology is not involving yourself in conflict until somebody personally wrongs you. much like butcher army era techno where he retreats to a peaceful (more godly, in this case) life until he's hunted down, at which point he Fucks Shit Up. in general techno holds grudges and takes even slight betrayals very seriously.

phil: ianite. i can see antarctic duo as former warriors of ianite! idk i don't have much to say phil is just.. a chill old warrior. probably jaded and tired of fighting wars for his goddess, but he still prays to her. specifically he prayed every night that wilbur could finally find balance in the afterlife. :)

niki: also ianite. definitely. niki values her own beliefs and morals, she's her own independent self. maybe she was a mianitee pre-nov 16th, but not since then. this makes the syndicate pretty much just a secret squad of ianitees (+ ranboo who everyone kind of just assumes is an ianitee given that, yknow, enderman). this is extra fun with the syndicate table being an end portal

sam: mianite 10000000%. he puts his commitment to duty above all else. not really much more to say he is just fully committed to keeping the server safe by carrying out mianite's will and imprisoning dream.

foolish: he's a god himself, so he doesn't follow any of the main three. however in the past he did work with mianite, enforcing his control over the land. from what we know about his totem of death period it wasn't like.. wanton destruction, it was him seeking control through violence, so i'm not inclined to say he worked with dianite back then.

george: man just wants to sleep and farm wheat, he's mianite. ez.

sapnap: also mianite. dream team as mianite's strongest and most revered knights!!!!!!

puffy: she's a pirate lady i don't know what to tell you other than she was part of capsize's crew. ianitee pirate ladies i care you. plus i feel like puffy centres mostly on people and not allying herself with specific nations or causes, she believes in balance above all.

eret: i view the greater dsmp as a mianitee nation, so as king of it they obviously have to follow mianite. eret has always strove to be a good king and help their nation prosper. plus, who knows what went on in the past with foolish. former mianite warriors eternal duo? i think so! (i think it would be cool if a literal reincarnation of herobrine was a mianitee purely because it fucks with everybody's expectations)

quackity: dianite. not just because he's chaos incarnate at times but like his entire current arc is so reminiscent of the fact that s2 dianite was literally a businessman. rip ghost dianite you would've loved c!quackity

fundy: oh boy here's a complex one. fundy switches gods frequently - look how much he craves acceptance from authority figures, from a substitute parental figure. i think right now his prophetic dreams could be interpreted as him being chosen by a certain god who sees potential in him, but i can't say who bc we don't really know too much about them or even why he's suddenly having them. that being said his chaotic scamming foxboy side definitely embodies dianite and he should have stuck with dianite the entire time but nah he needs Validation

jack manifold: follows dianite, but dianite isn't really pleased with him trying to kill tommy so often (seeing as he likes tommy). this is why he has such comically bad luck. his god is continually fucking with him.

karl: ianite, specifically chosen by her to become the historian of the server. the purple theme.. the duty to write down history as it truly happened (as opposed to censoring history like a certain mianite did). the existence of both the in between and the other side. karl Is balance. thank you. (also this makes karlnapity's marriage one mianitee, one ianitee and one dianitee. diversity win!)

schlatt: mianite (derogatory)

the eggpire is pretty much just the darkness isn't it. mianite was the blueprint actually.

bbh: dianite at first, judging by the badlands' ideology. corrupted by the darkness though.

antfrost: also dianite, but probably really lowkey about it and only ever prayed when the badlands needed his blessings. again, corrupted now

hannah: mianite - her connection to nature is by extension also a connection to mianite, the god of the overworld. plus she cared about maintaining harmony on the server and went to lengths to ensure it like the whole "killing her own dogs to protect them" thing. currently on her corrupted girlboss arc though

punz: dianite, he likes money and killing people idk what more you expect from me. even after joining the eggpire this has not changed at all. he'll work for other gods' followers for the right price but he's not changing his core beliefs

ponk: i don't know very much about him i'm ngl, especially not pre-eggpire. prior to his corruption though i do kinda like the idea of a mianitee doctor doing fucked up little experiments idk he just has mianitee vibes to me in the same way tucker was a mianitee.

skeppy: he and bbh are obviously both dianite together prior to the egg. it simply would not be right of me to put him anywhere else.

purpled: ianite. the colour purple... the tendency to stay so far out of conflict that he doesn't even log onto the server... mans was born to be an ianitee actually

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

tw domestic violence, sex

idk if im looking to vent or get advice but i atleast wanted to get it off my chest. my boyfriend beat me up so bad the other day i have a black eye and scratches all over my neck. ive kind of just accepted it as the price of being with him. i love him with all my heart and miss him the second hes away. today though i was looking at myself in the mirror and it dawned on me how wack i look feeding our newborn looking like this. i dont want him to think its ok i dont him to grow up and do the same to his girlfriend. im so messed up the night after he wanted me to suck his dick and i tried but couldn’t cause he hurt my neck so bad it was hard to physically suck. the other day he told me he likes chocking people because they have to do what he says in that moment and ik the statistics on dv and strangulation. but i dont want us to break up i just want him to stop i made a family with him why does he have to treat me this way? why am i so weak that im literally willing to accept it? i dont know whats wrong with me im not even the same person i was when we started dating and he doesn’t even help with anything around the house or the baby and i have to do everything even tho im the only one bringing in any money and ughggggggh

whats funny (but obviously not) is that in movies showing domestic violence the woman literally lives in fear or her abuser and im sure its that way for many in real life. but i dont live in fear i dont worry at the drop of a hat i say whatever i want (no filter super messed up stuff because he can hit me so why should i censor myself?) most fights are just regular fights. i never know when its gonna turn physical. even after it turns physical im not scared of him ik hes just trying mess with me. its when i push him beyond that point is when i get scared. when he puts his hands on me and wont stop even when im crying and begging. he hates so much when i cry as he freaking chokes me and it makes it worse. what does that mean? am i supposed to live in fear 24/7 or is it just not that bad?

-

First of all anon, I want to say that your feelings here are valid. You don’t need to fit the stereotype of living in fear 24/7. Like most stereotypes, it doesn't hold true for everyone outside of movies. Living in fear 24/7 creates a lot of on-screen tension that helps the audience connect and that's why they do it in movies. Real life domestic violence is a lot more complex and nuanced. Many people do not live in fear 24/7. Many describe exactly the feelings you describe - of being afraid when their partners go too far, but other times feeling brave, loving, or indifferent. Or some describe feeling safe and certain their partner has changed during the honeymoon phase before feeling unsafe again when their partner gets violent again. Not everyone has to react the same way to the same things, and your experiences are valid no matter how you feel or respond to them. 

I also want to point out that you are not weak. Not even a little bit. But if you genuinely feel that way, I do want to say that feeling weak is completely valid, and that it doesn’t make you less worthy. You are worthy now, as you are. Completely. 

It’s completely valid if you are having conflicting feelings about staying with your partner as well as having feelings about abuse not being okay. These feelings can co-exist. Most domestic violence survivors don't want their relationships to end, they just want the abuse to end. They love their abuser and wish they could just get their partner to treat them better. This is incredibly common. The reason for that is that abusers are rarely ever horrible 100% of the time. And they're rarely ever horrible right from the beginning (otherwise it would be much more difficult to lure victims to be with them). So in most cases of abuse, the survivor has lots of great memories (sometimes even recent great memories and loving moments) with their abuser. And when the abuse happens and they want it to stop, they don't want to get out of the relationship, they just want things to go back to being like it was in the good memories. It’s completely normal to have an array of feelings, even conflicting ones. And they are all valid. 

I want you to know that I am in no way judging you at all. I am just offering perspectives here, and one of those is thinking about your child. Even if you are convinced that he would never harm your child, your child could still be at risk. He may not have hurt your newborn yet, but it's not uncommon for people who engage in domestic violence to end up also physically abusing children later. Even if your boyfriend doesn't hurt your child, just witnessing abuse can also be traumatizing and have lasting effects.  It's okay if you're not ready to leave, it doesn't make you weak to accept the abuse and to choose to stay. There are a lot of complicated feelings involved in domestic violence especially with a child involved and wanting to keep the "family" together. You're not weak or wrong for having those feelings. But I still encourage you to think about whether this is the environment that you want to raise your child in. Especially since you don't want him to grow up seeing that kind of behaviour modeled for him and then decide to treat his future girlfriend that way.

One possibility for getting help that I want you to be aware of is taking the baby to the pediatrician is a good way to tell someone privately that you and your baby need help. They often have resource connections locally at doctors offices. You can also call a domestic violence hotline in your area or reach out to a local shelter if you have access to a phone that your abuser doesn't monitor (for example a friend's phone).

If you can, document any injuries. Preferably by seeing a doctor, but taking photos yourself and keeping notes of dates/times work too. This is a good idea even if you don’t plan to leave or file charges yet (or ever). It’s good to have for if you ever change your mind down the road and need to try and secure custody. If you document your injuries yourself, please try and make sure the documentation is somewhere your partner can’t find and destroy/delete it.

Another thing we suggest is to find a local domestic violence crisis center for help, or you can use virtual resources. Link 1, Link 2, or you can call 800-799-7233 if you are in the US. If you are in immediate danger, 911 (or your local emergency number) is always available to call.

- Mod April, Mod Allison, & Mod Emmett

[authoratmidnight]

A crossover idea I had the other day.

Glitch Techs-VRAINS crossover.

When they were talking about the possibility of a Glitch being able to disguise itself as a human and how if it managed that what that would would even mean and Five’s description made me go ‘oh my god, that sounds like an Ignis’

So, crossover time.

Not sure how or why the Glitch Tech team would go to Japan, maybe a work sponsored trip or for work. Small details. They’re there and in Den City.

While there they pick up a strong glitch signal which leads them to a plaza (currently showcasing a live stream of some event in Link VRAINS) and specifically the food truck parked there. Except they don’t see a glitch, just a dude cooking hotdogs.

They try to talk to him but oops language barrier. Until he drags in an impossibly pretty young man to act as translator. Who introduces himself as Lightning and states that he’d an android. And weirdly is the source of the glitch readings. They can’t actually do anything so they settle for getting food and having Lightning explain to them about Link VRAINS while they watch the stream.

And it’s fine and dandy till it’s not and something manifests inside Link VRAINS. So they instinctively go to help, completely ignoring Lightning trying to tell them that it’s under control.

They login via guest accounts, only to find several people already fighting the Glitch.

Enter the local heroes of Link VRAINS, Playmaker, Revolver and Blue Maiden (and their Ignises Ai, Aqua and Windy-I’m throwing him w/ Rev b/c the idea sounds fun lol). They were just chillin in LV, participating in the event when whoops some rogue malware suddenly got loose and went on a rampage in LV and now it’s turned into some kind of monster is beyond strange.

While fighting it/getting logged in users to safety, they run into the Glitch Techs who insist on tagging along and fighting it and explain what it is (since LV is virtual I’m just gonna pretend it translates things automatically, sort of like how being transformed allowed the girls to understand each other in Ojamajo).

Side note, while in Link Vrains that Ignis are their tiny Ignis forms b/c they use SOLtis outside of LV. Also they too register as high level glitches to the GTs. Also they turn into tentacle form to eat up the malware, which effectively neutralizes it

So they fight it and get rid of it (by way of what looks like a game of Hungry Hungry Ignis) and the GTs want to mind wipe them (as they’re supposed to do after Glitch events) but Rev is like 1) no 2) you’d have to mind wipe all of Den City cause this was live streamed so a lot of ppl saw it, and there’s no way they can manage that so again, no and 3) since it happened IN link VRAINS everyone’ll just assume it was a hacking incident or something. At which point he, PM and BM proceed to just log on out.

Yusaku decides to swing by Cafe Nagi to see Kusanagi/tell him about the sit and WHOOOPS there’s the Glitch Techs. Again. Who then zero in on Ai and now it’s Ai’s turn to play translator for Yusaku.

Everything after this is toying w/ ideas including:

-Yusaku’s unusual Link Sense causing him to set off their censors as some kind of anomaly which is very confusing b/c while Ai and Lightning are androids (albeit, very life like androids and in Ai’s case, surprisingly emotional) Yusaku is absolutely human

-Lightning and Ai absolutely set their stuff off as ultra rare glitches but like, they can’t do anything b/c the Ignis, aren’t doing anything. They’re clearly not a threat so they can’t just, take them away.

-Ryoken showing up to check in on Yusaku (Windy has been left with Pandor since she’s trying to teach him manners cause he’s kind of a brat/wild child lol)

-I def think the GT crew would figure out that Yusaku = Playmaker if only b/c of Ai, the tiny purple AI and the handsome SOLtis have the same readings

-I want Roboppi to show up at some point but idk how

-Yusaku gets dragged into showing them around, or at least showing them where the arcade is, since they are made up of gamers (and proceeds to get thrashed at video games b/c he’s a hacker not a gamer, before making Ai play instead)

-Yusaku introducing Five to Duel Monsters (we know he plays card games b/c we saw him playing against Ryu) they communicate using what’s basically google translate since Ai is busy. It’s not perfect but it works

-the GT crew trying to figure out what is UP with Yusaku and Ai’s relationship b/c even if they can’t understand them, from tone of voice and body language alone they can tell that Ai is flirting with/teasing Yusaku and while it does seem to be annoying Yusaku he seems, fine with it?? He’s not making any attempt to stop Ai and they swear he even smiled. And when it’s clear Yusaku is tired/all peopled out and they need to split Ai is just, so tender with him and Yusaku accepts it. And even tho Ai is an AI there are moments they swear, he’s almost, human.

[trensu]

Episode 6: the One Where LWJ is Drunk and Gets Married

YES, GUYS GALS AND NB PALS, WE ARE AT THIS MOST WONDERFUL EPISODE.

OUR FIRST INTRODUCTION TO DRUNKJ!LWJ

AND THE HANDFASTING THAT INSPIRED A MILLION FICS

Okay, to set the scene, we’ve got JC, NHS and WWX having a sneaky drinking party with Forbidden Alcohol

Obviously, LWJ can spidey-sense when a rule is being violently broken so he appears at the scene of the crime to BREAK UP THE PARTY (or possibly a threesome?? He’s not sure but he’s gonna put a stop to that immediately)

HIS SERIOUS BB FACE IS SUPER ADORABLE HERE, GUYS

LIKE, I’M MORE PARTIAL TO WWX BUT UGH, LWJ IS SO CUTE HERE???

IT’S AWFUL

WWX: *bounces right into lwj’s space* join us for a drink lan zhan!! We earned it after defeating the Haunted Water!!

LWJ: *stares over wwx’s shoulder* alcohol is forbidden in the cloud recesses

WHY WON’T YOU LOOK HIM IN THE FACE, LWJ?? IS IT BECAUSE HE’S SO CLOSE TO YOU SUDDENLY???

WWX: chill out dude *playfully tugs on lwj’s sleeve*

Oh man, the glare that lwj shoots at wwx’s hand here could have started a fire. I mean, it must have at least burned a little with how quickly wwx lets go

LWJ: Report to the Punishment Chamber

Did they have to call it ‘punishment chamber’??

It sounds like some kind of kinky sex dungeon, which, like, to each their own,(i’ll read some kinky sex dungeon fic every once and a while, myself)

But this is Ancient Fantasy China summer school…seems a little inappropriate in context

ANYWAY

WWX again tries to coax LWJ in to having a drink with them. He doesn’t understand how someone can just…not drink alcohol. Oh wwx, you budding alcoholic you

And here WWX nobly sacrifices himself to save his drunk buddies by distracting lwj (who was about to call for backup, like a narc) and pins some sort of mind-control talisman on him

Wwx: sit and have a drink with me!

Lwj: *sits down and takes a shot*

Lwj: *passes out*

Wwx: omg i killed him. WAKE UP YOU CAN’T STAY HERE!! YOU HAVE TO GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM!! 

Wwx: *proceeds to gently guide lwj onto the bed*

You know after that initial panic, wwx looks too damn pleased with himself, especially after he gets lwj to call him wei-gege

Wwx suddenly notices that lwj’s ribbon is off kilter and informs him of it bc that’s what friends do

Wwx: your ribbon is crooked

Lwj: *scandalized gasp* crooked??

Why’s he so adorable when he’s drunk?? LOOK AT HIM TRYING TO SEE HIS OWN FOREHEAD AND GETTING ALL CROSS-EYED, WHAT A CUTIE

Wwx: i can help!! 

Lwj: *slaps wwx’s hand* Go Away

Wwx: you’re making it worse!!

Lwj: *slaps wwx’s hand away harder* DON’T TOUCH! THE RIBBON IS ONLY FOR FAMILY AND SIGNIFICANT OTHERS

And now we have a way to measure their queer queer love for each other without making the censors mad

How does this show do it?? This is gayer than most of the stuff aired in the US and the US doesn’t even have that kind of censorship laws media producers here are a bunch of COWARDS, disney i’m looking at you

Wwx: lol, significant others, really?

Lwj: what’s so funny

Wwx: nobody’s gonna marry into the lan clan with your thousands of dumb rules and chronic allergy to fun

LOLOLOL BOY HAS NO CLUE. JUST YOU WAIT WWX, YOU’RE GONNA EAT THOSE WORDS

Wwx: nope, you are gonna be Forever Alone

Lwj: …that’s fine

This is actually kind of heartbreaking tbh

He’s so resigned and pretending so hard not to care!!

HE TRULY BELIEVES HE’S NOT LOVABLE *UGLY CRYING*

Idk how the actor did it bc lwj still has a very placid expression on his face but it somehow manages to convey like, a sense of loneliness while still looking adorably drunk?? Idk man, i think black magic might be involved

All this to say POOR BB LAN ZHAN, COME HERE SWEETIE AND LET ME HUG YOU. YOU’RE GONNA BE FINE, I SWEAR.

Wwx is so incredulous at this response. Like he totally believes lwj would be okay staying alone forever but he doesn’t understand it

Bc wwx is a dumb teenage boy who doesn’t yet have the emotional intelligence to see that lwj is just saying that bc he’s scared and hurting

Now we get to see an acute case of Foot-in-Mouth Syndrome like we did back in episode 2!

Wwx: your mother must be so bored here all the time

DAMN IT WWX

WHAT IS IT WITH HIM AND BRINGING UP PEOPLE’S DEAD MOTHERS???

LWJ: i don’t have a mother 

He says flatly HIDING HIS SORROW

*UGLY SOBBING*

HE’S SO SAD AND LONELY GUYS

IT HURTS TO LOOK AT

WWX: you can’t not have a mother! Somebody gave birth to…oh.

There’s a crack vid somewhere on youtube with this scene voiced over “it was at that moment he realized…he Fucked Up”

And it’s true

Dumb boy

Here WWX makes up by sharing his sad orphan story with LWJ. it’s so sweet

THEIR SONG IS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND WHILE THIS EXCHANGE HAPPENS

UGH THIS SHOW

LISTEN, ALL THIS HAS HAPPENED ALREADY AND WE’RE BARELY 10 MINUTES INTO THE EPISODE

LIKE, WHAT??

HOW. HOW CAN YOU GIVE ME SO MANY FEELINGS IN TEN MINUTES. THE FIRST TEN MINUTES OF THE EP EVEN.

WWX: my parents died when i was four and I can’t remember their faces–but i do remember getting chased by feral dogs

POOR BB WWX

HE CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER THEIR FACES 

OH, but we do get to see Actual BB!wwx in a brief flashback (within a flashback, remember this summer school business is not present time, how weird is that) and he’s riding a donkey while his mama and papa walk beside him. It’s adorable.

And after all that Emotional Vulnerability, he’s like “i’ll drink to that bro!” and makes a toast

I actually kind of like the toast he makes here with lwj tho

He tells him “may we never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is worth forgetting”

Idk if that’s like, a traditional toast or something he made up on the spot, but i like it

We get a brief moment of plot development here. 

AND OOOOH, THEY’RE ABOUT TO GET IN TROUBLE!!

So some Lan SNITCH barges into the room where lqr and lxc are at and is all “we caught wwx drinking Forbidden Alcohol!” and lxc’s expression is all gently amused

but then Lan Snitch continues “LWJ was with him!!” and lxc’s amused expression quickly morphs into Very Alarmed

(right before that all happened tho we get to see lwj fall out of bed, still passed out drunk and wwx laughs at him. I can’t even hold that against him bc i totally laughed at lwj too)

The camera now shows us some frankly HORRIFYING beating sticks (paddles?? Do they qualify as paddles?? THEY’RE HUGE AND SCARY AND MADE OF NIGHTMARES)

And bc LWJ is too honorable for his own good

Lwj: i am at fault and accept my punishment!

And goes on his knees to willingly get beaten. STOP THAT LWJ

WWX IMMEDIATELY steps in to take the blame, like no, it’s actually my fault bc i forced him to drink when he didn’t want to. LAN ZHAN SHOULDN’T GET PUNISHED!!

LQR: (proving that lans are all Dramatique) ARE YOU TRYING TO RUIN CLOUD RECESSES??

Take a chill pill, old man. A teenager getting drunk is not gonna start the apocalypse (probably)

And here lwj completely ignores wwx’s attempt to absolve him and is all no, I Made a Mistake and Must Get Punished 

Wwx: STOP ASKING FOR PUNISHMENT YOU IDIOT

So the punishment is kind of…harsh, but also lol bc as soon as wwx sees lwj take the beating without flinching or even staggering under the strength of the hits (lwj is truly a stronger man than i; one look at those Nightmare Sticks I would’ve run for the hills), he grits his teeth and forces himself to stay steady

Wwx: *internally but you can totally read it in his face* i’m not gonna let that bastard one-up me!! I have WAY more experience taking punishments. I am the punishment KING.

Okay so that all happens and afterwards WINGMAN LXC STRIKES AGAIN

LXC: wwx, you should definitely visit the family’s private cold spring

LXC: you know, so you can heal faster and not miss class

LXC: not for any other reason

I’D LIKE TO TAKE THIS MOMENT TO THANK GOD AND ALSO JESUS FOR THE UPCOMING SCENE

WE ARE AT THE COLD SPRING

LOOK AT WWX RUNNING TOWARDS LWJ

WET, HALF-NAKED LWJ

Wwx: *leans coquettishly against a tree thing and pouts* why didn’t you tell me about this spring? Friends don’t keep secrets from friends!!

wwx, you’re so clever, how can you be so stupid – boy is flirting at max level and doesn’t even realize it???

Lwj: HOW ARE YOU EVEN HERE *frantically robes up like some virginal maiden which he kinda is*

Wwx: your brother told me!

Lwj: *internally* brother why

And here wwx gets into the cold spring

Wwx: so cold so cold, let me get close to you where it’s warmer~! *dives right into lwj’s personal bubble*

Lwj: *takes a HUGE step back*

Wwx: *pouts* you know i didn’t like you much before but after our Romantic Moonlit Sword Fight and our Sword Fight By the Waterfall, i’ve decided i like you a lot and we should definitely be friends forever

Lwj: *doesn’t even look at wwx* That’s Not Necessary

Wwx: before you reject me, let me show you all the ~benefits~ to being my friend! *starts to strip*

(I’M NOT EVEN KIDDING YOU, HE LITERALLY SAID BENEFITS AND STARTED TO GET NAKED)

LWJ *is Horrified in a Repressed Gay Way* WHAT ARE YOU DOING

WWX: getting naked?? To heal better?? I thought this was obvious???

LWJ: *determinedly walks away*

WWX: wait don’t leave!! I’ll keep my clothes on! Anyway you should definitely visit me in yunmeng and i can pick lotus seeds for you. That’s totally what i meant about benefits.

LWJ: no

WWX: i can also introduce you to all the pretty girls there!

I CRACK UP EVERY TIME AT THIS. WWX, THAT IS A WHOLE GAY BOY YOU’RE TALKING TO, OH MY GOD

Then it turns out the cold spring is actually Haunted Water 2: This Time It’s Personal and tries to drown them

See this is why i don’t trust any bodies of water

They’re all out to get us

AND NOW WE GET TO THE  CAVE OF WONDERS (or cold pond cave, whatev)

Wwx: what is happening

Lwj: *is fascinated by the cave of wonders*

Lwj: *internally* ooooh Magic Guqin!! (BECAUSE HE’S A NERD LOLOL)

Magic Guqin: NOT TODAY SATAN *attacks wwx*

Wwx: WHY IS IT ATTACKING ME, I DIDN’T EVEN DO ANYTHING YET!!

brief pause here to point out that we meet the bunnies now!! Hello bunnies!!! Everyone in the fandom loves you~!!! 💗💗💗

Okay so Magic Guqin continues to attack wwx but wwx is a Clever Boy and figures out that it’s only attacking him because he doesn’t have a sacred lan ribbon

Wwx: lwj, quick, give me your ribbon!

Lwj: *FLIES RIGHT OVER TO WWX and proceeds to bind their wrists together with the SACRED RIBBON ONLY FAMILY ANd S.O.’s CAN TOUCH*

Then the camera zooms in on the metal piece of the ribbon that is now swaying gently between them like, Subtlety? Never heard of her!

Camera: yep, this is totally a straight thing that straight bros do together

So now that they’re bound together for eternity the boys approach the Magic Guqin

Lwj slaps wwx’s hands away from the guqin here – just bc i let you touch the sacred ribbon doesn’t mean you can touch the magic guqin that tried to murder you

BC LWJ IS A MUSIC NERD AND IS TOTALLY GEEKING OUT OVER THE PRECIOUS MUSICAL HEIRLOOM

LWJ proceeds to reverently play the Magic Guqin and we have this moment where he’s like, floating in space surrounded by glowy blue lights??

Idk man, it’s weird but we’ll roll with it

This is the first time we see him communicate with spirits using music, btw. 

Now we meet Lan Yi!! Who is a badass and important for plot reasons but the Valid Reason she’s mentioned here is because SHE OFFICIATES THE WANGXIAN WEDDING (bc we’ve already established that we’re not here for the plot lol)

the boys are tied together with the sacred ribbon and then they bow to a clan elder. How is that not, bare minimum, a handfasting??? 

Okay, technically, lwj bowed to the elder first to show respect while wwx stood there all stunned until lwj reminded him of the Importance of Manners. Then wwx bowed. But I’m pretty sure that still counts.

“You two being here must be destiny!” lan yi says, “i’m gonna do some plot exposition so pay attention.”

Thankfully we are not lwj or wwx so we don’t have to pay attention at all!!

At some point, wwx makes a clever comment and lan yi is all “wwx you’re as smart as i thought!! 

Yes yes i definitely approve of you marrying my great great great grand-son/nephew/whatever the heck he is, idk i’ve been in this cave too long with only bunnies for company" (🎶bunnies are better than people, buns don’t you think that’s true~?🎶 I AM SO SORRY FOR THAT REFERENCE, DISNEY YOU STILL SUCK I JUST HAVE POOR SELF-RESTRAINT)

Okay, she for real complimented wwx’s intelligence (bc I guess everyone’s hot for WWX’s big brain? Idk) but i’m pretty sure she was thinking the rest of that really loudly in her head

Then more plot stuff happens and the episode ends!!!

Beautiful, phenomenal episode. One of the MOST IMPORTANT Wangxian episodes we have!! 100/10 stars, would watch again.

Return to Masterpost

[nadja-chamack16]

Sanders Sides Theory (based on the bloopers video trailer thingy)

So in the newest sanders sides bloopers video there was this trailer for the next sanders sides video and I’m gonna break it down scene to scene but I recommend you see it first. ( I’m doing this at 2 am so forgive me for how stupid these may be ALSO English isn’t my main language so I might not have good spell skills)

First there is a recap of SVS that’s starts with the date “March 31” and then the trailer for the next sanders sides vid starts with the date of the wedding/callback and it starts the same way SVS started but everything is a little darker (it could be the time of day or just an effect of Thomas’ mind like we saw in Accepting Anxiety pt.2)

Next scene is Thomas opening the door like he did in SVS but this time he doesn’t look exited at all, he looks sad and pissed at the same time and it is also dark outside and he’s wearing a suit which makes me think that he just came back from the wedding and is ready to argue because he realized he should have gone to the callback.

After it’s Thomas in a video game screen, I think it’s a reference to Pokémon, (I think the game boy version but idk plz don’t sue me-) Thomas is facing and unknown adversary and where there should be text there is none

Next scene is just Patton screaming looking distressed this could be caused by him being overwhelmed while the other are talking over each other or maybe he’s trying to ignore one of them because he doesn’t agree (it would probably be Deceit or Roman) [I’m so scurrd like dad is looking rough :,(]

This scene is of Thomas at what we can only assume to be is the wedding but it’s in a video game (we can also see that it is dark outside so that could support the theory that he just came back from the wedding)

Then we cut to Roman saying something that is causing him to be emotional (probably reflecting as well but he looks sad and kind of hurt in a way, he could even be regretting the decision he took in SVS) (also like poor child. I heard somewhere taht this was gonna be a two parter and those vids are known to be character development and kinda angst so I’m scurrd cuz Roman angst makes me cry more than the other angst)

The scene after is Thomas in a Mario like video game situation(?) [ I believe these video game scenes could be either helping Thomas explain what happened or help another side with their argument like we saw in the Logan Vs Roman video and it could even be a little cut away when things get a little too serious (kinda hoping for that one even tho it’s a stretch because I’m scared of what the screaming Patton means)]

Lastly, Thomas says his intro except he changes it and says instead “ What the f*ck everybody” and it is censored by a video game coin and let’s just say Thomas looks pissed (I also think that this obviously comes after the first scene where Thomas opens the door as a parallel situation this scene and the scene in SVS because they are complete opposites)

This is my fav comment from the bloopers vid and I wanted to share it cuz I laughed a good bit

@ironwoman359

Anyway I have to sleepy time.

[innocentlynj]

The Very First Time

Pairing:  Reader + Kim Namjoon (F X M)

Genre: one shot 

Warnings: smut (mostly fluff) 

Word count: 2400+

ignore how many times I had to censor a word because tumblrs a bitch. 

He had tried to make everything perfect, literally down to the detail. But how couldn't he, you were the love of his life and he only wanted the best for you?

Today was the day he was going to give himself to you, you already losing your first time to a possessive ex in the past. His nerves were on end with wild thought running through his head. Was he going to be good enough? What if he couldn't please you? What if... His thoughts were interrupted from a ding of his phone. He opened up the Snapchat app and smiled as a picture of you flashed across the screen, putting a smile on his face before taking a screenshot of you as he always does and takes a quick picture of himself.

He smiles to himself again at the thought of how perfect you are in his eyes. He knows that some fans haven't been the best to you but he also saw the real fans in their support and constant love and acceptance he gave your guys relationship. He sat down on the floor, careful not to ruin the freshly made bed that had the slight smell of his cologne that he knew you loved so well by the way you would hug him just a little tighter to smell him more.

He flipped through the playlist he made for this, being the hopeless romantic he is, and the sound of soft music flowed the air like silk against skin, piano, and violin working harmoniously together.  He nodded to himself, satisfied with the scene in front of him. He heard a small knock on the door, but not any knock. The knock that you both made for each other as a secret and also as an inside joke. Yours was to the song "The Ballad of Mona Lisa" by Panic at the Disco since he knew how much you loved them, almost as much as you loved his group of BTS, and his being "Flower Cafe" By Jooheon Changkyun. He got up in a flash to answer the door as he took in your appearance, a blush creeping onto his skin.

You were dressed in almost the simplest outfit, in a long-sleeved black tee and fitting jeans and sunglasses to hide your appearance from the press. To Namjoon, you were absolutely stunning and took his breath away. You smiled brightly at him as he let you into his dorm but the other boys were out, for specific reasons. You unloaded your bag and scarf onto the nearest coat rack and are quick to wrap your arms around your beloved boyfriend of now 3 years. You both started dating after you finally got you and your friend into a fan sign after, possibly, buying 200 albums to actually get there. It was an effort but you are so glad you did it, because there you both locked eyes and it was an unspeakable connection that you two had shared, and continue to share to this very day.

"I missed you." The first words spoke since you arrived that were uttered from the very tall man hugging you tightly to him as if he was afraid you were going to slip away from him. You giggled and hugged him tightly back.

"I missed you too Aein" (sweetheart) You say softly as you softly inhale is scent and shut your eyes in comfort. That's when you heard the soft music playing and the smell of food in the atmosphere. "Wait, did you cook? And the fire department isn't here?" You joked as you looked around for any sign of a fire. He chuckled at you and rolled his eyes.

"No, I had Jin Hyung help me out with all this. I can't even cut an onion." He joked and hugged you from behind as you looked at all the food prepared for you two. You had lost a lot of weight before meeting Namjoon, being very depressed and just stopped eating which he helped you with later in the relationship, mostly due to the fact that he didn't know. You had gotten to the healthy side of life, but still some thickness in areas but he loved it on you. Your eyes watered slightly at such the amazing gesture and he cupped your face and turned you around to face him and kissed you gently on the lips. "Let's eat!"

After you both ate a little bit, him mostly knocking things over and him being his usual clumsy self but something was a little off with him, but you really couldn't put your finger on it, nor did you want to assume things. He took a deep breath and put on a huge grin, dimples shining through slightly as his eyes glittered in the light with happiness. He pulled something from his pocket and your heart skipped a beat.

"Y/N. I know we've been dating for the past three years now, so this is long past due, but I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to marry you in the future, but being with BTS takes up a lot of time and I know it is stressful for you sometimes. So until I am able to put an engagement ring on that finger, I want to give you this." The entire speech your heart filled with joy and your eyes filled with tears. He opened the box and held out the prettiest promise ring you have ever seen. It must have cost a lot, but honestly, he could have given you a ring pop and you would have been happy with the thought. "S-So," he stuttered slightly and honestly it was adorable and pure. "Will you be my forever?"

Of course, you nodded and got up quickly and kissed him passionately. When you pulled away he slid the ring on your finger. He looked up at you with love in his eyes and you looked back with the same about of love for him. You cupped his cheek and looked at the features of his face, almost studying it. 3 years ago you would have never envisioned yourself in this position but here you are, staring at the face of Kim Namjoon and him staring at you with so much love that you never felt with anyone else before. His eyes moved from your eyes to your lips and they looked back at you with the slight definition of lust. He gently grabbed the back of your hair and pulled you down to kiss him. As your lips connected, there was something different about this kiss that you ever felt before. The fireworks you heard people talk about were there. You had never felt them, kissing people only felt like lips touching but with Namjoon the hairs on your arms stood up on end.

Namjoon could feel it too as he slightly hissed into the kiss and pulled you close to him and onto his lap. You gratefully wrapped your arms around his neck and played with the hair close to the nape of his neck and tugged gently, earning a low moan from his lips that were working against yours in sync. This sent a twist of emotions to your stomach and made you do it again but a little more gently, just to stimulate him. He growled softly and picked you up, forcing you to wrap your legs around his waist as he moved you both to his bedroom, the food forgotten (for now, never let good food go to waste tf?) A slightly giggle left your lips as you left small kisses on his neck until he laid you on his bed. The air smelled of him, and the soft music was only slightly louder in here. Everything looked perfect, almost a little too perfect like he had stressed over this, and then you remembered that this would be his first time, ever. You suddenly got nervous and sat up.

"Baby, are you sure you want to do this?" You say as he steps towards you and kneels in front of you.

"Yes. I can't think of anyone I would rather do this within my life." Namjoon said and smiled softly, brushing his thumb across your cheek and searching for your expression. "Are you sure you want to do this? I know your first time wasn't the best but-" You cut him off by kissing his hand gently.

"I want you. And only you. Forever." You say and brush the hair out of his face slightly. He smiles and reconnects your lips and you both crawl back the headboard where the pillows are and he places his hand on your hip, the other supporting his weight above you. He slides his hand down to your thigh and very slowly to your heater core, almost afraid to touch you as you were a soft petal that would break.

"Is this okay?" He pulls away breathlessly, his fingers feathering over your core as he looks you in the eyes. You nod and kiss him again, sliding your hands up the back of his shirt and to his shoulders as he applied pressure, earning a soft moan from you. It made Namjoon happy to hear you make such beautiful noises, as he wanted to make sure you feel as good as he was in the moment. You slowly pulled off his shirt and touched his bare chest and looked at him.

"You are..so perfect." You say to him and he gets shy, smiling and burring his face into your neck and giggling, making you giggle and when he pulls away from you both just look at each other and start giggling as he kisses you again, slowly nipping and licking his way to your neck. You hear him mumble a soft "Is this okay?" Your breathing had picked up, leaving you only in short outtakes as you nod again. You were touched that he kept asking for your permission with everything, being a gentleman. After your nod you felt him gently nip on your skin, sucking and biting his way through a few hickeys on your neck to even darker and bigger hickeys.

Your moans were his encouragement to continue as he slowly pulled off your shirt and jeans, leaving you in only your undergarments. He blushed a deep red at the sight of you in front of him; breathing heavily by his doing, the hickeys on your neck that were just starting to form, your hair sprawled out around you making you look like an angel, and the sexy appeal of seeing what very little has seen (including friends and immediate family bc Idk about you but my mom doesn't know what knocking is). You blushed and started to cover yourself when he removed your hands and kissed your stomach. 

"아름다운." (beautiful) He said and pulled off his pants, leaving him in only his boxers. you took this opportunity to slowly unhook your bra and watch as his face went to a face of shock as he looked at you. He gulped slightly and looked you in the eyes and smiled shyly, like a kid finding seeing mommy kissing Santa under the mistletoe. He slightly lunged towards you and kissed you with such lust it sent your whole body into a sensitive shock as he gently gripped your right br*ast and looked at you, "Is this okay?"

You had to laugh softly, as he asked at least 3 times this entire time. You cup his face and forced him to look at you. "Yes, I am okay. You don't have to keep asking my love. I want you. All of you." With this, most of Namjoon's nerves left and he gently rolled your n*pple between his fingers, sending shocks throughout your body as a low moan left your parted lips. The rest of the clothes were soon discarded and Namjoon reached for the condom in the bedside table, accidentally knocking over one of the speakers as he cursed to himself. You giggled slightly at his clumsy state as he finally got a condom, after breaking the box and spilling the rest of them out. He let out a small nervous chuckle. He ripped the condom with his long finger and then looked at it slightly and breathed heavily as his shaky hands tried to roll the condom on his thick cock of his.

This was the first time you were able to take in his size and it took your breath away. The daze you were in snapped and you saw him struggling and you smiled softly.

"Baby let me help." You say and you roll the condom on him after licking your hand and rubbing it over his dick a few times to lucubrate it, smirking when a few moans and curses left his mouth. When it was on you pushed him gently to the bed and got on top of him. "Let me take care of you, baby." You say softly slide yourself onto him as you both groan in pleasure. It was a little painful at first due to his size but within a few minutes, that uncomfortable pressure was replaced with a pleasure that spread slowly throughout your entire body.

Namjoon grit his teeth and hissed through them, gripping your waist with his long slender fingers tightly that left slight marks.

"Y/N if you don't move soon I might go crazy." He muttered through his teeth and he opened his eyes that had found themselves closed and looked into your eyes. They showed pure love and passion. You felt a soft moan leave your lips just at the look alone he was boring onto you. You slowly started moving, sliding up and down on his dick as his hands guided him down onto his dick, leaving groans and stuttering curses in Korean from his lips. The effect you had on him turned you on more than the small foreplay that you shared before. You picked up your pace a bit and placed your hands on his toned chest and his hands slowly found their way to your ass, gripping the skin tightly and moved with every bounce you made.

His eyes had fluttered closed once again you looked down at his angelic face, scrunched in focus and in pleasure. The sight below you was one to make your heart flutter with love. You leaned down and placed a kiss upon his lips, receiving a kiss in return and a moan as you gently bit his lip and tug it gently between your teeth. He looked up at you and the grip on your ass tightened and he started to pull you down on his thick cock faster and more hard than your pace, making you cry out a moan and nuzzle your face into his neck.

Namjoon saw the effect he had on you and brought one hand up and between you and started rubbing your clit in lazy circles, pushing you closer to your edge.

"J-joonie," You managed to stutter out in a haze of pleasure

"I know jagiya, I'm-" He was cut off by the wave of pleasure that overwhelmed him at the moment and he stuttered slightly. His fingers worked faster against your cl*t, making sure you were feeling as good as he was, but honestly, you couldn't feel more love and pleasure at this moment.

With a final thrust, you both reached your climax and you rolled off of him gently and laid next to him, breathless. The only thing in the air was the sound of the soft music and you both heavily breathing, but it was music to both of your ears. You looked up at him and smiled, kissing him gently and cuddling into him and pushed some hair out of his face.

"Did you like it?" You ask at the breathing angel in front of you as he locks eye with you.

"I think I went to heaven being with you." He flirts and you giggle, kissing his shoulder softly. He started tracing shapes on your back as your eyes drooped from being tired. "Sleep, my love. I will wake you up in the morning." He said and kissed your forehead. You moaned in acknowledgment muttered a small,

"사랑해"

Namjoon smiled at your sleeping form. "I love you too Y/N"

[the-small-one-to-rule-them-all]

Dress to Impress

Summary: Who knew that crying in your room could be the start of something wonderful?

Or, Patton breaks down, Logan shows some feelings, Virgil is his usual precious self, and Roman is a fabulous b****. (that says beaut idk why it’s censored)

Pairing: logicality, prinxiety

Warnings: food mention, homophobia, mild description of a panic attack, cursing

Word count: 5043

A/N: so, this is actually the first fanfic i’ve ever published, I hope it’s okay! I got inspired by @thatoddhuman​‘s picture of Logan in a galaxy skirt while in the middle of writing some logicality hurt/comfort ... and then this happened. Enjoy!

Patton leans back against his door and he hears the latch click shut. It has been a long day, and he has felt way too many emotions in such a small amount of time that he swears if he feels one more thing he’s gonna explode. He lets his hair fall into his eyes as he trods over to his giant bed.

His bed covers an entire wall of the room and is covered in blankets and pillows and stuffed animals of every kind. Patton flops into the middle of it and pulls about seven blankets on top of himself.

He grabs his favourite stuffed animal, a two foot tall penguin named Peggy, and holds her tight.

Logan passes Patton’s door on the way to the kitchen. He is lost in thought when he hears something that pulls him back to the present. It takes him a second, but when he realises what it is, it worries him. He hears crying coming from Patton’s room, and it sounds like it’s coming from Patton and not one of the others.

If Patton was crying, that meant something bad had happened. Patton didn't like to cry but when he needs to he tends to listens to sad music with the door open or watches a sad movie to have an excuse to cry, but this. For him to close himself in his room and try to hide his tears... now that was bad, very bad.

Logan decides his midnight snack can wait. He turns to face Patton’s door and knocks. He hears Patton gasp inside.

“I'm not here.” Patton says, hoping that whoever is on the other side of the door might actually believe him

“Patton, it’s Logan. You know that wont work on me.”

Patton goes quiet, hiding further under his blankets.

“Is it okay if I come in?” Logan asks, hand already on the doorknob.

Patton does not respond.

Logan frowns, “Patton, If the door is unlocked and you don't say anything in protest, i'm coming in, okay?”

Patton pulls another blanket on top of himself, in an effort to conceal himself as he pulls his head under the mountain of blankets.

“I'm going to come in now Patton.” Logan says gently, slowly twisting the doorknob and pushing the door open.

When he sees the giant pile of blankets that Patton is undoubtedly hiding in, Logan’s heart sinks.

Logan steps in, closing the door behind him. “Patton. I know you are under all those blankets.”

Patton sighs and throws off the blanket he last grabbed, revealing his head.

“Hello there Patton.” Logan says, taking a seat in Patton’ swivel chair.

Patton gives Logan a small wave of his fingers.

Logan smiles softly,“Patton, would you mind sharing what is upsetting you? Especially to the point that you are in here at 3 am trying to hide your tears from the rest of the world.”

“Nothing is upsetting me, i'm just sad.” Patton mumbles.

“Why?”

“Because I am. It’s just a combination of a lot of small and big things that’ve been happening and I guess i'm hiding because I don't want to have to explain that there's no reason for me to feel this awful, I just do.” Patton starts crying and hides his face in the blankets.

“I'm sorry that you feel awful. Is there some way in which I can help? Do you want me to offer advice, offer a distraction, or just listen? Or multiple?” Logan asks.

Patton replies, through sniffles and tears,“Umm, actually, can you just sit with me for a bit? I... I just need to feel this right now Logan.’

“Oh, uh, okay. I suppose I can do that.” Logan says startled at the use of another option.

Despite not understanding, Logan joins Patton on the bed, sitting next to the giant pile of blankets and making himself a backrest of pillows. He grabs his designated stuffed robot from the messy pile and just sits.

Patton eventually moves so that his head is on Logan’s lap. Patton knows Logan doesn't really like physical contact, like hugs or really cuddling, but they’ve found that this is the best arrangement for physical contact between them.

Logan absentmindedly starts running his fingers through Patton’s hair, making him gasp a bit.

“Oh, sorry Patton. I didn't mean to upset you. I just find it rather comforting when you do that for me so I thought-”

“Logan, no, it’s fine. I was just surprised.”

“Like a good surprise?”

“Yes, it was a good surprise, Logan.”

“That is... satisfactory.” Logan admits allowing himself to smile.

Patton pats Logan’s knee in acknowledgement a sad smile on his face.

After a bit Logan realizes Patton has fallen asleep on his lap. He smiles down at the emotional side and gently shifts him off of his lap and into a comfortable position.

Logan lays down, removing his glasses and placing them on the nightstand next to Patton’s glasses. He was much too tired to go to his room, and he always seemed to sleep better here anyways.

When Logan woke up the next morning, Patton was already awake, but he hadn't moved from his place on the bed. Normally Patton would get up and make breakfast, but obviously that didn't happen.

“Good morning Patton. Did you sleep well?” Logan asks with a yawn.

Patton shrugs, “I didn't have any bad dreams or wake up in the middle of the night so , yeah, I guess so.”

“You are not feeling well this morning?”

“No Logan, i'm not. I don't feel much better than I did last night.” Patton admits.

“Is there something I can do to help?” Logan asks, concern wrinkling his brow.

Patton loses himself in thought, thinking, wondering, what could possibly make this better. In his franticness he starts to tear up, wondering if it could get better. “I.. I don't know Logan” he admits voice breaking, “I don't know.”

Logan is startled to say the least, “Patton, are you... er, umm, may I give you a hug?”

Patton nods and Logan reaches out, pulling Patton into his lap and holding him there in his arms.

“Is this helping?” Logan asks softly.

“Mmmhmm” Patton hums between gasping breaths and tears.

Logan feels a tightness in his chest at the sound of his friend crying and he holds Patton even tighter, even closer.

Logan starts taking deep steadying breaths, “Patton. I'm here. It’s okay. Can you take breaths with me?”

They breathe in, and out. In and out. In and out.

Slowly the mush in Patton’s mind starts to fade, and he is tired, despite having just woken up.

“Are you doing better now, Patton?” Logan asks when Patton relaxes in his arms.

“Still sad, but not panicked about it anymore so... I guess.” Patton says with a shrug.

“Would you want to talk about it? I have heard that talking about one’s feelings is a good way to help.” Logan says, hoping he’ll oblige.

“I mean, it probably would help, but I really don't want to.” Patton admits.

“And why is that?”

“I... i'm scared of spiralling again.” Patton mutters.

“But I am here, and if you begin to spiral, I can help.” Logan says, hoping it’s enough.

“I just,” Patton sighs, “Talking about it makes me feel bad, and I already feel bad, and I don’t want to feel worse.”

“Is there something else you would like me to do? Shall I distract you?” Logan asks, just wanting Patton to feel a little better.

“Thanks for the offer, but i’d rather just cuddle.”

“Okay, but we do need to go get breakfast at some point, okay?”

Patton nods.

“Tell me when you are ready to go eat.” Logan reminds him.

Patton shrugs, “I guess, i'm ready to go now. I've been awake for a few hours, i'm hungry.”

“I did not think you would want to go downstairs while upset, though I will certainly go with you if that is what you want.”

Patton wipes his eyes, “No, wait i'm not upset, see? I'm happy pappy Patton, i'm not sad, i'm never sad.”

“Falsehood.” Logan mutters, sad and slightly annoyed.

“Uh, i'm sad but it doesn't matter.” Patton says, sounding much less chipper.

“Falsehood. Try again.” Logan directs.

Paton sighs, “I'm sad, but I don't want the others to know so i'm hiding it from them while we get food.”

Logan frowns, his expression soft, “While that is true, it is unacceptable.”

“Logaaaaaan.” Patton whines.

“Try again.” Logan says calmly.

Patton huffs, “Okay, I’m sad, but-”

Logan interrupts sternly, “No. No buts.”

“Pfft... Butts.” Patton snorts.

“Patton.” Logan says, sounding like an annoyed parent.

“Fine. I'm sad... and that’s okay?” Patton says, unsure.

Logan smiles softly, “That is acceptable. Now let’s go get some food. I want waffles with Crofters.”

They get up and get dressed. Logan chooses his normal button up and tie. Patton chooses a plain t-shirt, Virgil’s old hoodie and a pair of shorts.

Patton follows Logan out the door, putting on a front until Logan shoots him a look.

“What do you want for breakfast, Patton?” Logan asks, trying to keep the conversation light, as the others are sure to be up by this time.

“I want toaster strudel.”Patton says.

Logan forces himself not to correct Patton’s grammar, instead saying, “I suppose that is an acceptable choice as it does tend to cheer you up.”

As they walk into the kitchen, Virgil and Roman look up form their spots at the table.

“Hey, Popstar, what’s up?” Virgil asks, giving him a wave.

“Nothing” Patton insists nonchalantly.

“Didn't you say you were gonna wear that pretty flowy skirt today?” Roman asked.

Patton shrugs, “Yeah, I just... didn't want to”

“Patton, is something wrong?” Virgil asks, raising an eyebrow.

Patton shrugs, “I'm not feeling my happy self today, but it’s fine.”

“What’s going on there, padre? “ Roman asks.

Patton huffs, “I said it’s fine.”

Virgil gives him a look somewhere between sad and concerned, “Hey, Patt, it’s obvious that something is up. Please tell us what’s bothering you. Don't make me catastrophize about it all day.”

Normally Virgil doesn't like to guilt trip Patton into doing things, but he can tell something is up and it is bad.

Patton shakes his head, “That’s just it. There is no reason for me to be sad, I just am. And as much as I want to hide it from you guys... I know I shouldn’t. It’s just really frustrating to know that i'm upset for no reason at all.”

Virgil runs a hand through his hair, “Are you sure you’re upset for no reason? Did nothing trigger this?”

Patton takes his seat at the table, “Well... umm, I don't actually know.”

Patton sits and thinks about it as Roman and Virgil carry on eating their food.

Roman frowns, “Was it something we said?”

Patton shakes his head, “No! No, it, uh, it wasn't you guys.”

Logan sets Patton’s toaster strudel down in front of him, the icing in smiley faces and flowers, just the way he likes. “Was it someone else then?” Logan asks.

“I... it... well, yeah.” Patton admits with a sigh.

“What happened?” Roman asks.

Patton pulls Virgil’s old hoodie closer around his shoulders, “Well, remember how I was wearing that cute polka dotted skirt the other day, right?”

Roman smiles, “Yeah, your favourite skirt! It’s really cute on you!”

Patton gives a soft smile, “Thanks. Well there were these people in the store, and they... umm.” Patton hesitates, running a hand through his hair.

“Did they not like the skirt?” Logan asks.

Patton shakes his head, “No. they didn't. They... they were really awful. They called me rude names, even some homophobic slurs. They circled me, pushing me around, being rude and mean. Then one poured their coffee on my skirt and  acted like it was an accident.”

Patton hears Virgil mutter something about homophobes and Roman puts a hand on Virgil’s arm.

Logan sighs, “Oh, so that’s what happened to the skirt.”

Patton nods, “They, they said i’m ugly, that i'm a freak. They said that my skirt was disgusting. That it made me look... They, they... said lots of things that I won't repeat. ”

“Why didn't you tell us about that when you got home?” Virgil asks.

“I... I- ” Patton shrugs and pulls his hood over his head

Logan sets down his bite of waffles,  “That was the day that the video went up, remember? We were all stressed and excited about the video. Patton had run to the store to get snacks.”

“Oh, yeah.” Roman nods.

Patton sighs, staring at his plate, “I didn't want to ruin all the fun.”

“I understand that Patton, but that was a little bit more important than the video.” Virgil says with a sigh.

“I guess so, but it’s too late now.” Patton mumbles.

“What I do not understand is why it is still upsetting you.” Logan admits.

Roman looks at Patton, “Patton, you know that the things they said about you were wrong, right?”

Patton does not respond.

The room goes quiet.

“Patton?”

Patton pokes at his untouched food, “It still hurt.”

“Oh, Patton, of course it did. I would be more concerned if it didn't. But please know that we don't believe any of those things about you.” Logan reminds him

“... Knowing and believing are two different things.” Patton admits, his whispered voice loud in the quiet of the room.

After a long pause Roman shakes his head and frowns, “What do you mean?”

“I... I think I know what he’s saying.” Virgil says, shifting in his chair. “Knowing someone thinks something is like, surface level knowledge, believing something changes your thought patterns and your actions. Like knowing that a table was fixed and believing it can hold your weight are two different things.”

Logan frowns, “But many different factors play into-”

“L, that’s not-” Virgil groans, “How do I put this? Uh, it’s like knowing we won't judge you for having vocab cards, and believing it enough to use them around us.”

Logan blinks, “Oh... I see.” He looks down at Patton, “Is, is he right Patt?”

Patton is breathing so hard he feels like he might explode, his face is hot and his hands are shaking and he thinks he might be crying but he doesn't know. How did Virgil know? He shouldn't be this upset about this. He knows they were wrong, he thinks he believes it, he wants to but he can't and it hurts so much oh gosh it hur-

A hand is on his arm. “Hey, hey, Patton, we’re here. We’re right here.  You're okay.”

Patton turns, looking at Virgil’s hand on his arm. He feels the tears on his face. He takes some deep breaths focusing on Virgil’s hand, listening to his voice.

Finally Patton whispers in the quiet between Virgil’s comforting words, “How did you know?”

Virgil takes a deep breath, “What did you think it was like for me to tell you my name?”

Patton opens his mouth as if to speak, but nothing comes out. He just closes his mouth and nods. They sit there for a minute as Patton’s breathing returns to normal.

Virgil smirks, “Patton, don't think those bad things about yourself, i’ll fight you!” he says playfully.

That gets a small smile and a giggle from Patton.

“And i'll fight anyone who wants to say those things to you!” Roman declares.

Logan smiles, “How about we all wear our fancy feminine clothes together? We’ll all look nice and we’ll be supporting each other in that.”

Roman groans, “I have to wear this because i'm doing the show all day today, could we maybe do that tomorrow?”

“I'd be fine with that.” Logan affirms.

Virgil looks at Paton’s head under his hoodie, “Of course, only if you want to Patton.”

Patton looks up a bit, “Oh, you... you guys don't have to do that for me.”

“We want to Padre,” Roman says with his trademarked smile, “We want to support you!”

Patton frowns, “But they'll tease you too.”

Roman scoffs, “Honestly, damn those kids. I'm looking fabulous tomorrow! The only reason they’d be rude is because I look better in a skirt than they do.”

Patton smiles, “Well, I mean I can't stop you guys.”

Logan smiles “Exactly, now let’s eat and finish getting ready or we’re gonna be late to first class.”

The next day Patton wakes up and looks at the outfit he chose last night, smiling to think of his roommates doing the same. His outfit was a black knee length 50s style poofy dress covered in white polka dots. He had a clip with a red flower on it chosen for his hair, paired with his red converse.

Patton gets dressed, fixes his hair, and puts on some makeup to finish the look. Just some mascara, eyeshadow, and lipstick, but it is enough. He looks great and he feels great too. Patton gives himself a wink before putting the makeup away.

Patton smiles walking down to the living room for breakfast feeling good about himself. He stops as he reaches the bottom of the stairs and sees Virgil sitting on the table eating toast. Virgil is wearing a floor length black evening gown. It has intricate patterns sewn into the fabric in a black thread just slightly different from the fabric making it subtle but strikingly beautiful. Virgil even has a string of pearls around his neck and his hair done up nice.

Virgil catches Patton staring, “You think it’s too much?”

Patton shakes his head, “I just didn't realise we were dressing up so nice. I might have to change.”

Logan comes out from the kitchen, he is wearing a button up fancy white shirt with a knee length skirt. He hands a plate of toaster strudel and strawberries to Patton, “Oh you don't have to dress fancy to look amazing. You already look fantastic.”

Patton blushes, “Thanks Logan, you look pretty great yourself. I didn't know you owned that skirt.”

Logan looks down at poofy galaxy skirt, “Yeah, this is my first time wearing it. I have been waiting for the right occasion.”

“Well, I think you chose well.” Patton says with a smile, “Where’s Roman? Is he still getting ready?”

Virgil nods, “He came into my room early this morning insisting on doing my hair. He had already done his own and he basically stole my makeup when he left, claiming he didn't have what he needed in his own room. I think he just likes that I have so many eyeshadow colors.”

Patton laughs shaking his head, “Our local drama queen.”

“You called!!!” Roman shouts.

They all look up to the top of the stairs where Roman is standing in the dark.

“I am the ultimate gay theatre prince and drama king! And now everyone can tell!” Roman announces.

Roman descends the stairs, one hand on the banister, the other up in his usual dashing pose. As he comes into view the others can only stare.

Roman is wearing a floor length ball gown with a cape. The cape is long, black, and made of silk. The hood has white lacing around the edges, a stark contrast to the dress. To call the dress pretty is an understatement, it is enchantingly beautiful. The skirt looks like a galaxy of rainbows, swirled bright colors falling from his waist, dotted with small white gemstones and sequins. The top of the dress is completely covered in those sparkly white specks.

Virgil smiles, “Wow, Roman. You look stunning. Literally, I am stunned. I might be blinded..”

Roman smiles and adjusts his hair, which Patton now realises is holding a tiara.

“Roman you look like a beautiful prince if ever I saw one!” Patton says with a smile.

“Hopefully the gayest prince you ever saw too!” He laughs.

“That just goes without saying.” Logan admits.

Patton notices that Roman has on rainbow highlighter and he has put on pure white and sparkly eyeshadow to match his dress. He even has rainbow freckles covering his face. Patton has no idea how he managed to do it. He imagines that that  must’ve been why he needed Virgil’s makeup.

Roman laughs and travels the last few steps to land in front of Virgil, “Here, as promised,” He says giving his cape to Virgil, “a hood to hide in, though you look so good I don't know why you would want to hide.”

Virgil sets his plate down on the table and hooks the cape around his neck, “I like walking around looking beautiful and terrifying, but mostly terrifying.”

Roman rolls his eyes, “My emo nightmare, you are the midnight sky to my shimmering star.”

Virgil smirks, “In the background, unnoticed, only there to strike fear and make others look better?”

Roman smiles, taking Virgil’s hand, “You ignite wonder and curiosity in people’s hearts. The unknown is a bit scary, yes, but your beauty is something people marvel at, something they long to understand and achieve. You are noticed more than you think. You see yourself as the background, but others see you as their context for existing, and that is truly wonderful.”

“If you two are done flirting we need to leave in ten minutes and fifteen seconds, so i'd consider eating something.” Logan reminds them as he grabs Virgil’s empty plate and heads back to the kitchen. Roman grumbles but follows him to grab his breakfast.

Patton’s smile falters, “Oh yeah, I forgot about the actually going to school part.”

“Hey, no, you don't get to be nervous, that’s my job.” Virgil jokes.

“I don't look half as good as the rest of you guys though. You all look so amazing, how could I compare?” Patton says with a  frown.

Roman runs in, shoving the last half of a waffle in his mouth. He grabs Patton by the hand and pulls him up the stairs. The next thing Patton knows he’s on his bed and Roman is digging through his closet.

Patton gives him a look, “Ro? What are you-?”

“I will not have you feeling bad about yourself today.” He insists. “AHA!” He spins around a dress in his hands, “I didn't know you owned this! You should wear it! If you want to, of course.”

Patton goes pale, “I... I never actually intended to wear it, I just.... I don't know.”

Roman raises a skeptical eyebrow at Patton, “You would look better in this than any of us in our outfits.”

“... Really?” Patton asks hesitant.

Roman nods, “You should try it on.”

Patton slowly takes the dress from Roman.

“I'll be in the hall. Come out when you’re ready, and know it doesn't matter to me what you wear. I just want you to feel radiant today.”

Patton smiles at him and looks down at the dress in his hands. He has a decision to make.

Logan joins Roman in the hall, “What did you do?”

Roman smiles, “I gave him an option. The dress he already had on, or one he hasn't worn before. I'm letting him decide.”

“I see. That does sound like a good choice. He did seem to like our outfits more than his own.” Logan acknowledges with a nod

The door opens a crack, “Logan, is that you?”

“Yes Patton.”

“How much time do I have?” Patton asks.

“Five minutes.”

They hear a shaky breath come from behind the door, “I feel amazing right now, but I feel like i’ll regret my choice as soon as I leave.”

Virgil speaks up from where he had hidden in the shadows, “We aren't judging you Patt. And trust me, I don't think anyone at school will either.”

The door swings open.

“Oh my dear sweet Crofters, you are radiant.” Logan mumbles.

“You like it that much?” Patton asks, a blush creeping up his face.

Roman laughs, “Patton, even i'm jealous of how good you look in that dress!”

Virgil smirks, “You should be Roman, he looks better than you do.”

Patton blushes harder and looks at himself in the mirror on the back of his door. He admires the long dress. He thinks he looks like an elf from the Lord of the Rings. The dress is a dark forest green. The hems are adorned with silver embroidery, the sleeves are long and flowy. He is wearing a pair of small brown boots. And his hair is half up, pinned back by a clip of the star of Lothlorien.

Virgil smirks seeing the way Logan is staring at Patton. He swears they better admit their feelings soon or he’s gonna explode. He rolls his eyes, “Grab your bag and let’s go, or we’re gonna be late.”

Somehow they manage to get to school on time. Everything seems fine, they all have ensured they have everything and are ready for class. But as they pull up Patton freaks out.

“I can't do this, I wanna go back home!” He admits, his grip on his backpack tightening.

Roman turns around and frowns, “I would much rather you stay, but I’ll let you decide. Let me make a phone call while you three talk this through. I’ll be just outside.” He climbs out of the car and leans back against his door pulling out his phone.

Logan turns around from his place in the driver's seat to see Patton who was sitting behind him. “I thought you were feeling confident and beautiful? What happened?”

Patton squeezes his eyes shut, “Oh... uh, nothing really, I just realised that the people who were mean to me in the shop go here. I kinda saw them walk in the front gate just now. I don't want to have to face them again.”

Virgil frowns, “You want a hug Patton?”

Patton nods and Virgil holds him tight, “You don't have to face them alone. They won't hurt you. We will all be right here with you, and besides, you have lots of friends here who support you. You’re never as alone as you think you are.”

Patton smiles and gives Virgil a big squeeze before pulling away. He wipes his tears and looks up at Virgil, “Is my makeup smudged now?”

Virgil shakes his head “No, I think Roman put some fancy waterproof setting spray on you.”

“Oh. Was that the nice smelling thing he sprayed on my face as we were walking out the door?” Patton asks

Virgil snorts, “Yup, that would be it.”

Logan smiles proudly, “Yes Patton, like Virgil said, it won't just be us supporting you. Look who we convinced to join us in dressing up.”

Patton looks out the window past Virgil and sees a crowd of people coming out the front of the school gates. A bunch of guys are wearing clothing ranging from mini skirts to sun dresses to ballgowns.

Patton gasps as he sees who it is. There are guys from theatre, the debate team, several of the sports teams, the D&D club, and the art classes. All of Patton’s friends are in the crowd. He smiles so wide he feels his face might split open. Patton laughs, grabbing his bag and dashing around the car to Roman’s side.

“You still afraid to go in?” Roman asks as he sees Patton round the car, an amazed smile on his face.

“No, not at all.” Patton admits.

Logan and Virgil get out of the car and join them, waiting for the crowd to arrive.

“How did you do this?” Patton asks wonder in his voice.

“Well, Logan gave me the debate guy’s numbers, Virgil texted his D&D group, and we all texted all our friends, but for the record it was my idea.”

“Group hug!!!” Patton yells, squeezing them all tightly. “Thank-”

“Don't thank us. We are just being good friends.” Virgil says softly.

“You would do the same for us, and you deserve to get just as much love as you give.” Logan insists, smiling wide despite not really being one for hugs.

“Yeah, we didn't do much ourselves. We just rallied people who love you to support you in this so we can show you just how much you’re loved.” Roman adds with a smile.

Patton is crying what he will later deem the happiest tears he has ever shed. But that doesn't matter because right now he is surrounded by some of the best, most supportive friends in the world and he could not ask for more.

Bonus scene:

When the friends get over to them, they break up the hug. Patton compliments and hugs everyone who will let him. He laughs at the drama kids who strike obnoxious poses and compliments the debate team on their color coordinated outfits. He beams when the D&D team compliments his dress, saying it looks good enough to be in a fantasy movie. Patton rolls his eyes at Remmy in his mini skirt and crop top when he says he is the hottest of all of them. He ends up back at Logan. He looks so proud that they were able to do this for him.

“Can I give you a hug, Logan” Patton asks.

Logan smiles, “Sure, Patton.”

Patton wraps Logan in a tight hug, face buried in Logan’s neck. He pulls back after a second, just enough to look Logan in the face. Logan is smiling and Patton is so overwhelmed with joy. He leans in and presses a small kiss to Logan’s lips.

Logan blushes, a small smile creeping onto his lips, “Patton...”

“Yes, Logan?”

“Kiss me again?” Logan asks and Patton can't help but oblige. He leans in and kisses him again, longer this time. They both are smiley and giggly messes, but they don't care.

Next thing they know they hear Roman whooping at them, and Virgil muttering something about them being so oblivious and finally figuring it out.

They break apart and Patton gives Virgil a look, but his laughter makes it ineffective. Logan is blushing and hiding his face in his hands. Patton pulls them away from his face and plants a kiss on Logan’s forehead. They walk inside holding hands, feeling happier and more confident in themselves than ever.

[justsomeantifas]

May I ask what some things youre confused about are? Absolutely refrain from doing so if you are afraid of backlash, bc this isnt important. I'm just curious because my mind instantly goes to the transphobia in this community, but you've already stated you think terfs are bad so idk what you are refering to.

I’d just like to preface I’m clearly stating the things I just don’t know or understand right now. I do not have opinions on these things because I ... cannot manage to learn enough about any of them to know who is right. 

I’m not trying to offend anyone i just am listing the things I don’t understand because I was asked to.

I also will have a lot of trouble wording any of this because I’m very confused. I can’t stress this enough.

I have no idea whether or not the word [and i will censor it because i’ve been asked to] q***r is like acceptable to use or call yourself absolutely no clue the more I read the less I understand people just keep giving me source and book after source and book and all of them disagree with each other and all of them sound solid and none of them help me know ... anything

I have no idea whether or not pan/bi as names of identities like... idk how to word this one very well but ... i hear and read so many conflicting things about when one is acceptable or isnt idk how to word this im very sorry i just ... those two identities are very hotly contested constantly and it’s confusing

what being non-binary means i just dont want to perform any gender personally ... and idk how to explain this either. people just have a lot of opinions on what non-binary means and i dont understand. 

if a non-binary person can be a lesbian because people argue about this really heavily too.

uh who belongs in the lgbt community is also ... a very argued subject that I would never interject myself in because i just dont know. i dont know anything it feels like.

theres way more stuff i kinda just listed the tumblr stuff and not some of the other stuff i’d deal with in person 

but like i’m just so confused all the time and people want me to have a solid opinion but i can’t form one and i’m trying really really hard but i literally cannot learn enough to feel like i know ... anything.