#idk the censors for things but i have other things to accept help too just ask

[pokeathlondome]

blarrrgghh I've been hesitant of doing this cause I feel really bad asking but I desperately need help with my phone bill so making one of these kinds of posts im sorry

so as stated above im in need of help with my phone bill I moved in with my fiance about 5 or so months ago and he's been helping me out a lot with stuff but given he's trying to provide for 2 people with a minimum wage job he can't cover everything so... I haven't been able to get my phone bill paid on time I haven't been able to make my payment for 2 months now and it's gotten really price heavy that I'm going to hope turning to this may hopefully help but waaa

the amount I need is $364.21 I'm sorry for it being so high I only have $10 to my name attached below shows it

again im sorry for having to do this but it's stressing me out so bad I haven't been able to call or text family for help due to my phone basically being a brick if you can reblog please do usual don't tags for this post to please any support of any kind would be very helpful thank you

my ven is @/arcanacard

[kaidatheghostdragon]

Starefire is liminal

Correct me if im wrong, but she got her starbolts from unethical alien experimentation, right? What if the experiment was exploring ectoplasm and liminality? Ergo, starfire's starbolts are actually ectorays.

There are so many possibilities to explore. Does she know she's liminal or the nature of her starbolts? Do the GIW clock her as a ghost instead of an alien? Do they hunt her down or monitor from a distance because she's too high profile?

Does the justice league learn about the giw through their interactions with starfire, and only discover phantom as a side effect? Here we can run the full gamut of possibilities, from phantom just starting out, or phantom successfully protecting an entire off-the-radar city (not something ive seen very often), to phantom post-capture, or bad reveal and in hiding.

Also, when i first thought of this idea, i immediately considered the similarities between starfire and jazz, especially if jazz is a fire core liminal with flight and ectoblasts. I was kind of considering a plot where a video of the giw hunting jazz is released on the web, but the video goes viral with the title of "fashion police attack starfire" or something. Jazz deliberately played up the similarities she has to starfire (makeup, costume, and everything) and tucker deliberately released the video in a way that would get past the censors and catch the justice league's attention. It was a desperate ploy that the entirety of team phantom was in on to get help when the giw escalated to hurting civilians, or captured phantom, or some other emergency.

Then, as the league investigate the starfire impersonator, they discover all the monitoring the giw have done on the real starfire (that team phantom might or might not know about) to confirm that she's liminal, and the plans theyre devoloping to quietly capture her.

It would be equal parts angsty and hilarious if the Justice League destroyed the GIW without ever identifying the impersonator or discovering amity park and phantom. Maybe batman only discovered them months later while trying to close up loose ends? Idk, its an idea. (I kinda wanna avoid the whole "summon the ghost king" subplot, if for no other reason than the fact that its been overdone?)

OTOH, the league could be doing a very thorough internal investigation to figure out how many of their members are "ecto-contaminated" according to the giw's tech, and the magic users would have to step in and explain things if batman tries to take the "contamination" at face value and try to purge it. Once they explain the concept of liminality and how they can sense it from most members, batman is simultaneously unsurprised that most of the league is "death-touched" and nearly having an aneurysm because they never thought to explain this sooner.

To add a bit of crack at the end, after the justice league has thoroughly destroyed the giw and figured out all their own existential crises (and still havent discovered who the imposter was), THAT'S when "perpetual pot-stirrer" Phantom shows up on the watchtower all like, "yes, you have passed all of my tests and reacted appropriately to the information of liminality. I will now deign you with my presence and give you many blessings of the ghost king. You are also now allowed to visit amity park. Treat these privileges with wisdom and temperance." (As if he's NOT a superpowered teen desperately looking for like-minded peers and unconditional acceptance.)

[lunerabo]

Been thinking about making this post for a while and only recently figured out a good way to articulate it but I unironically think Gege’s kind of a genius for using what is most definitely censorship of a gay relationship to his advantage in writing whatever was between Gojo and Geto.

I think what a lot of people get wrong in saying things like how this was a perfect setup for a romance and it’s bullshit that he wrote all that just to label them as best buds is the fact that they’re forgetting that in general homosexuality is nowhere near as accepted over there as it is in the west. BL and GL absolutely exist but read any of them and it becomes very clear to you that the general attitude towards it is that it’s seen as a taboo fetish and not a preference. If you have that in mind, it suddenly makes a lot more sense why they’d want to censor it especially in shonen manga (even though you still get boys falling face first into racks large enough to have their own gravitational fields—something Gege’s also notoriously avoidant of, thank goodness). Not saying it’s right or that it’s not problematic, but when you take into account the differences in attitudes across the board, it’s easier to understand.

Gege’s aware of this. If he wasn’t, and was less careful about putting queer characters in the story, jjk would have never seen the light of day. We know he’s not shy about doing that, as proven by the existence of Megumi and Mai, who are both canonically bi/pan, Kirara, a trans woman, Mahito, who is genderless, and Kenjaku and Uraume, who are loosely implied to be nonbinary or genderfluid. The reason he can get away with this is because none of them are the larger-than-life hero holding the gaze of every fucking pair of eyes on the planet even in death. He’s already toeing the line with the aforementioned characters, for the same reason that other progressive authors only ever seem to make background and side characters queer but never the super important ones. Gojo as a character has a lot of fans and is arguably the thing that attracts readers in the first place, so it goes without saying that a less accepting audience would get turned off by the confirmed queerness of their favorite character. It also goes without saying that this would be very likely to cost Gege his job, so confirming anything is too big of a risk to take. All he can realistically do is tiptoe around it and lay out the signs and hope we read them right.

Gojo and Geto were not in a relationship and couldn’t ever have been simply because Gege wasn’t allowed to write that. So what do you do when something in real life is influencing the story like that? Ultimately, you have to find a way to use a roadblock like that to make it fit in seamlessly, and I think he did a really good job of it. Because the fact is actually that it wasn’t a perfect setup for a romance; the feelings were there but the lives they led were not ones that a relationship develops in, especially not after both of them fell off opposite deep ends in the different ways that they did. What it was a perfect setup for was tragedy. He can’t confirm a relationship but clearly he’s allowed to make them pine for each other, so being barred from bringing them together helped to create a tragic so-close-yet-so-far type of situation that fit everything really well, and made it that much more painful to see them ripped apart.

Idk. I’m tired.

[zarathelonewolf]

GACHIAKUTA 116 AKA I HATE THE RESULT. OF THE USA ELECTIONS BUT I LOVE GACHIAKUTA SO I WILL FOCUS ON THAT

This is literally what it says on the tin.

I will not bore you with a discussion on the elections. They were shit. Period. I hate that Harris lost.

Someone liked the previous version of this post which I just eliminated because I have now posted THIS post, after erroneously thinking that Tumblr hadn't registered it (it was not showing on my blog). Sorry for the person that liked the previous post, @orngbanana, this is the actual post.

Having said that I need to distract myself from the mess, so I shall talk about Gachiakuta's 116 Issue, my oh my, such good things it gave me! Since, you know, THREE OF MY MAIN POOKIES ARE IN IT! AT THE SAME TIME! AND THEY'RE ALL GORGEOUS!

Let's talk about it!

As we suspected, there is a huge chunk of history between the moment that the Sphere and Ground split from each other, and the moment Rudo fell. There are records of those lost times, however they haven't been kept well, or maybe they've been censored.

Corvus wants to investigate them. He wants to obtain the lost info. Like Kuro as well. Which makes me think that Corvus and Kuro really are the same person: Corvus's goal of Finding Out What Happened After Whatever The Heck It Was That Split The World In Two™ and Kuro's goal of Gaining Back The Memories Missing From My Brain Who Has Shapeshifted Too Much™ can align and coincide. Also, if the first Cleaner Corvus references is the same as the "friend" he mentions, and it ends up being Canis, there's little room for theories that don't have "they're the same person" as an outcome.

Corvus is being too hard on himself in my opinion. Of course he's a leader and carries responsibility for the Cleaners, however the Cleaners themselves are "using" the organization for their own wants and needs, like protection, a sense of belonging, a search for power. Rudo himself has his own goal. He also finds Arkha to be a honest man, and is surprised upon hearing the opinion Arkha has of his actions. To Rudo, being honest has a greater importance than being "righteous". "Righteousness" has led to Rudo's fall.

Rudo himself makes Arkha notice the bigger picture, I think. He "accepts" Corvus's need to "use him", especially because Corvus has proclaimed that he wants to help Rudo. Rudo makes Corvus realize that what him and the Cleaners have is a "collaboration" and not "exploitation", since both sides get something they are looking for.

I really like the detail of Corvus's eye tattoo closing and crying. Rudo's growth warms my heart just as much as yours, big guy.

Now, unto Zodyl!

...

Yeesh.

...

YEESH!

This boi has a lot of trauma!

So, we finally get a glimpse into the man's past, and it is not pleasant.

I have two theories about this, and they all derive from the obvious implication that the people carrying Zodyl away from his mother and sister are trash worshipers.

There are two theories in my mind: the Initiation Ritual one, and the Kidnapping one.

INITIATION RITUAL: The tribe of trash worshipers has a ceremony that decides whether or not they have worshiped trash correctly, and if there are bad things coming for them in the future. It is also a ritual of initiation for their children, who will be "blessed" by the trash that falls upon them. Their children are brought in the spot where the trash storm happens and left there. I assume that both the children that die and those that survive the trash storm are considered blessed due to the simple fact that they could stand underneath the godly trash as it fell, and yet at the same time, if a lot of children die it means that the tribe didn't worship trash correctly or that the following years are going to be harsh... Or maybe they think the opposite, that it is good because the children didn't die of old age or disease but because the trash touched them? Idk. Zodyl doesn't want to undergo the ritual, and I shall assume that he does not want his sister to do so, either: his mother is an ambiguous figure to me, is she protesting it too, reaching for her son like he is reaching for her? Or does she stand to the side, allowing the ceremony to take place? Does she approve or was she forced into silence?

KIDNAPPING THEORY: Maybe the trash worshipers are so devout to the trash that they think everyone, even those that don't want to worship it, should have contact with it. That could be why Zodyl is resisting the "baptism" so much (though it could also be true if he was raised among the worshipers but I digress).

Welp! No matter which of these theories is true, the first one seems very plausible to me. Zodyl seems to hate the Sphere's methods of waste disposal for sure, and he seems to consider trash worshipers as very naive on the surface, and if full for hatred for them deep inside. They "took" something from him: maybe his family died under the trash storm. He emerged victorious though... And vowed to take instead of having stuff be taken from him. He isn't going to be deprived again: he shall be the one to make the first move.

Lastly, I am thinking that the peak of sadness for Zodyl would be the origin of his coat's power.

Watchman Jinki seem to have a penchant for choosing owners that have a lot of trauma, deeply rooted issues, and empty void to fill. The coat, I assume, is no exception. He adapted to Zodyl due to his upbringing, and as a consequence, gave itself the power... to shapeshift according to what he eats.

I had a "wait a minute" vine moment, but thanks to Reddit and my good little brain, I managed to figure out why, and it hinges heavily on the first theory, according to which Zodyl and family were raised among trash worshipers.

Trash worshipers also accept the moldy, ruined food that ends up falling from the sky as organic waste. I can only assume that trash worshipers also eat said organic waste, in order to be "one with the trash" or some shit.

This can easily be classified as traumatic. I doubt Zodyl liked eating moldy food, or scavenging moldy food. So maybe that's what the coat latched onto when it bonded with Zodyl.

I am reminded of Kuro's words about Zodyl, about the fact that Zodyl seems to be hiding the weaknesses of his powers from his Raiders. But I think the secret he keeps is deeper, I believe he is hiding his own weakness, his own longing that the coat manages to fill.

Urana's tweet about the sandwich Zodyl ate being made by Cthoni gives me even more happiness, comfort and relief than it did before. Even though Zodyl appears emotionless and is probably suppressing a lot of stuff, mainly with the help of the coat, someone has his back. Someone cares, even though he cannot bring himself to do so ever again and prefers being detached and practical.

Some questions this chapter raised:

Why weren't Enjin and Tamzy shown when Corvus explained that everyone in the Cleaners has their own goal? Is it because Corvus hasn't figured out what Enjin's deal is, and because he isn't sure of what Tamzy wants anymore because Tamzy is now suspicious in Corvus's eyes?

To what extent are the Raiders aware of Zodyl's past? Is Cthoni the closest to him?

The obvious one of "Are Corvus and Kuro the same person?"

Are these trash worshipers going to be more relevant than simple plot devices to explain Zodyl's worldview? Are they tied to the reason why the Sphere keeps throwing trash on the ground?

Is Canis the First Cleaner and/or Corvus's friend?

Having said that, happy life to everyone! Be like the populace of the Ground: keep living, stay safe, keep forging bonds with others and finding joy into the little things and that which society discards!

[no-passaran]

ok but if people can apply for asylum on grounds of 'i am asexual and therefore a looming forced marriage is why i need to flee' it leads to the dangerous precedent that women who aren't asexual could be refused asylum, idk if this is very coherently explained. but tbh my biggest issue with making asexuality part of the LGBT is just that a lot of asexuals seem to think that their boundaries and issues are more important than those of them who aren't asexual.

But in that case, lesbian and gay people who also face exactly the same struggles as asexual people in their home countries (forced marriages, rape, conversion therapy) shouldn't be allowed asylum either. And what about other groups that are also allowed asylum, like political dissidents? Should nobody be granted asylum anymore? And asexual people are more likely to be put in forced marriages than straight people, and the forced marriage is only the visible tip of the iceberg of a long list of abuses and trying to "fix" them from their families.

The thing is, everyone should be allowed to move wherever they want. It sucks that we live in a world where the state has to accept whether or not you can move to a different location and gets to decide whether your reasons are good enough or not. And we have to work towards dismantling all of that. But that's a long-term goal, and asylum laws exist right now and can help people right now. It's a good thing that you can get accepted as an asylum seeker because you're gay or lesbian and that's repressed in your country, so it's not difficult to add asexuality to those already existing laws. That's a short-term goal and that can be achieved and can save lives now. It doesn't mean that it's any more or less deserved than people who move for any other reason (economical reasons for example), but it's a strategy that can actually be achieved now. The point is to expand who that right gets applied to, not to further restrict it and keep more people in suffering.

Idk what you mean with the last part of your message though. You don't want asexual people to be in the LGBT community because some of us defend their boundaries too much? Everyone should defend their boundaries, nobody should have to be subjected to what they don't want to. That's a good thing for everyone to learn to respect, and the only thing it will result in is in more diversity of what gets done. For example, if a local LGBT community organizes a party that's all centered around sex and some asexual people don't want to go, that doesn't mean that party isn't going to happen or that they're not going to support that party, it only mean that in addition to that there will be other activities that they like, for example conferences and debates, political activities, book presentations, chill meetings over coffee, or whatever they propose. This will be good not only for the asexual people who proposed it, but also for anyone else who is into this plan, minors, etc. Many people might even be interested in both. Greater diversity of options is always good, the thing is just not to censor each other (which I've never seen asexual people do, but is what you're doing rn when saying asexual people shouldn't be allowed because some of them annoyed you, thus this whole demographic group doesn't deserve support from the only community fighting to end the oppression they're subjected to).

[welcome-to-oslov]

I wonder if Jorning can be as deliciously awful as I hope he is, without needing to retcon Tilrey's warm goodbye to him in A Serviceable Boy 😅

Jorning was just so sneaky & lecherous in their first meeting! And as big as Bror?! An Ansha with power? Linden's partner in crime "good cop"? Clearly he loves his job & has done this kinda thing with others Linden brought home 😒. Gurl do I have some whump asks maybe I'd be too embarrassed to even send 🤣🥵😈

Tilrey's not stupid. Maybe Jorning confuses him at first, shocks & hurts him when the help he needed turns out to be what it is; Tilrey comes to understand he's in the room with two people dominating him, not anyone looking out for him. But maybe Jorning's crazy switch to comforter as soon as it's over eventually just makes Tilrey give up & decide to accept the cognitive dissonance of "sure, whatever, Jorning's a good guy, he helps me, he stops anything from going too far" (further than Linden & Jorning want, at least 🙄) -- easiest of all terrible options of ways to feel in his situation?

Idk idk but I'm sure I'll find out!

Whatever you've got planned, even if completely different from my brain lol, will be an incredible part of the story I'm sure 🙌

Jorning is one part of the prequel I haven’t “filled in” in my head, so I’m having these thoughts right along with you! I do think that if Tilrey is desperate enough, and Jorning is always the person who gives him care and support after a horrible encounter with Linden, he might start censoring out Jorning’s complicity. Or convincing himself that it’s okay because he (Tilrey) is actually the problem for being so “sensitive.” I can imagine him meeting Jorning when he’s older and being shocked that he considered this guy a friend. Poor kid. 😥

[rainbowcrowley]

your internship post reminded me of something. i’m going to tell you a story

many years ago i got a job i had really wanted. the people were pleasant and accepted that i was a bit different from them, but they were much more ordinary than me. they might have been open to being educated on things, but they’d lived their whole lives oblivious to many disadvantages that had affected me. it wasn’t just that they hadn’t been subject to those disadvantages, they didn’t really know anyone who had. people like me were theoretical to them, and they’d never given us much thought

and slowly i realised that if i educated them, in their eyes i would be making myself more and more weird, and more and more a symbol of specific categories than a person. so in a way, the more they understood the things that matter to me, the less they would see me as an individual person.

they weren’t bad people, but i censored myself around them. often i didn’t say things because i wasn’t up for the effort of explaining myself. and the more i didn’t say things, the worse i felt, especially when i left the office and relaxed. it was fucking lonely.

i was even less open with my friends because i was emotionally tired after a long day with my colleagues. if i’d had someone (or someones) who got what i was going through and helped me talk about it i probably could have made it through if it was a fixed term. but i didn’t have someone like that, i wasn’t emotionally aware enough to realise that was what i needed, and it was a permanent job..

so i left and lied about why i was leaving because i didn’t want to hurt their feelings!

i’m not presuming your experience is super similar, just sharing in case there’s enough we have in common that it sheds a tiny bit of light. just the fact that you can see the danger sign even if you don’t know quite why you’re feeling it is an advantage. that type of self awareness is so valuable. i wish you happiness and success, whether that comes through finding a better way to make it through the internship, or finding another route to take in your life

i got this ask over a month ago and i always wanted to get back to it and answer it, but I couldn't find the right words. idk if the person who sent me this is even going to see it but.. I'm very sorry for not posting it sooner. the first time I read this it actually helped a lot. and I'll forever be thankful for that <3 i hope you're doing well too!

why am I posting/sharing this now? bc my internship is almost over and I have a lot of Feelings.

an update on the overall situation: it got better. i still feel somewhat out of place, but I accepted that. i think it's just the Queer Experience? like I have my lil bubble of queer friends, online and offline, but "the real world" is, in fact, not that. obviously DUH. idk whether I'm just being weird or naive or so out of touch with said "real world" that this fact hit me so hard. I always thought I knew it, but... yeah, experiencing it firsthand brought me down to earth HARD.

anyway.

my supervisor and colleagues are no bigots. they didn't say anything bad or hurtful, but it's clear that the same thing anon said happened here, too, in a way. thing is... I censored myself completely. i was (still am) so terrified of showing the "real me" that I HAVE to censor myself. and it's fine, really. let's say I'm used to it (looking at you, dear extended family) and I can live with that. it's frustrating and tiring sometimes, but it's fine.

so right now there are other parts of the internship that bother me. things that don't have to do with the social aspects of it. things like the long commute, the fact that I didn't learn any new cool things like I expected and it can get pretty boring sometimes when there's nothing to do (which happens in IT support... sometimes things just WORK and you're sitting in the office doing nothing twiddling your thumbs besides being on stand-by). and my teacher and social worker want me to extend the internship bc I'm good at what I'm doing but I just..... UGH. I just don't feel like it. and idk if it's bc of all that happened, or that anon said above, or all the things that bother me or if it's just my depression acting up (again) bc I've not been doing great over the past few weeks in that particular department for reasons that have nothing to do with work.

i don't know what to do or feel and it's annoying. I'm just so tired. (and I need therapy like, right now. meh.)

thanks for reading <3

[mangodestroyer]

Yeah, I'm not really so fond of torture porn either. It can be pretty tasteless. Now, I'm not really one who likes to judge an author based on what they write. I hate it when people try to censor people's art (even if it can be very, VERY questionable or uncomfortable to observe). But there have been times when I've read or watched something and it just genuinely seemed like who ever was working with the character they were torturing didn't see any humanity in them. Just saw them as an object or a nuisance. Got off on the excessive suffering. It does make me wonder if, irl, they're the power tripping manager who likes to make their employees miserable just because they're "beneath" them. Or if they start treating someone close to them like shit because they are "weak" and "deserve it", but also do it because they see other people as a threat in general. After all, people with sadistic-dominance tendencies do exist... On the other hand, it could just be a vent for their own problems. Idk.

Also, I remember reading somewhere that stories are an outlet to help us work through irl anxieties and problems we're dealing within a safe setting. Victims of trauma who use stories as escapism recover from whatever traumatized them more effectively. So from a scientific standpoint, it would just make sense that we want our protagonists to have a fighting chance.

I used to be able to write stories that were more light-hearted. Unfortunately, I think I understand why that is not currently the case. My later teen years and young adulthood have been rough. So, no. I was kind of joke-lamenting about not understanding why I have these dark fantasy ideas atm.

Truth be told, I'm fully aware that I'm just projecting my trauma onto Crowley. For a while now, my mind has been stuck on some of the traumatizing things that have happened to me. I come from family dysfunction and already talked about the excessive emotional abuse I dealt with growing up on my blog. I also have to deal with a family who just doesn't have it together in general. The fact that my mother was just cold toward me growing up. Coped with a sibling who just wrote me off out of nowhere and realized at a young age that they just don't love me. Tried too hard to come to others outside of the family for comfort. Realize now what I was doing and how that led to so many more problems. LOTS of unhealthy friendships/a toxic relationship. People acting like they were accepting and "safe" at first, while slowly becoming more abusive. Now realize I may have almost gotten myself into some dangerous situations because I had no boundaries. And just got away out of luck. Also just had such a hard time coping with how messed up humanity can sometimes be (because of personal experience and from studying history/the fucked up things happening in our world rn).

So, yeah. I just feel like writing stories about a loss of innocence and feeling betrayed/struggling to find trust again. It feels worse than grief because you can at least appreciate the good times/having ever had them around at all when you lose someone you love. With betrayal, you're grieving a person who never existed, so it never really felt like there were good times/you start to question why you fell for it/enjoyed it in the first place.

And then there's also that ick you get with yourself when you realize how damaged and different you are when you just weren't raised. That you aren't a functional adult and are behind on mile stones. You constantly feel like the people around you can just TELL. You feel like a stray cat. Something to pity but also something no one wants to deal with. You want to look out for yourself and put up strong boundaries/act selfish for self-preservation, but you sometimes worry that you're toxic and are becoming like your abusers. I imagine that's what it feels like to become a demon. Demons are just chaotic energy in a world that prefers order. They seem abrasive by default.

Sorry for going on a tangent. Like I said, I've been very passionate about these story ideas. I just really want to make my favs deal with some nasty ass, scummy villains. Find happiness despite that shit.

I wouldn't worry too much about it. If you feel like writing about it, then go for it! You don't need to deal with a character's EXACT traumas in order to write about them. And no, a story doesn't need to be light-hearted for people to like it either. I would actually say that it's better to just write the kind of story you feel like atm. You might be channeling something into it whether you're aware of it or not, so it would just be a little awkward to write about something fun and humorous if you're not up for it. Even if it seems like it'd be so much easier.

You could also just try writing an outline for the story/just letting it bake in your head for a bit. You might find, after doing this for a while, that it will become a very different, but more pleasing story. With a familiar premise. Doing this might also help you get over some troublesome plotlines/flaws that are giving you hang ups.

Just so you know, neither of my two story ideas that I talked about are even close to being the same stories I originally thought up. One started with Crowley being a human who lived recklessly because he has issues, and died because of his nature. And ended up becoming a demon that way. And it was a modern AU. Well... it's no longer a modern AU. And now he was never a human and was just an angel to begin with. I'm also so relieved that he is no longer being reborn as a demon who serves a human cult because at the time, I thought that was cool, but now I hate that idea and think it's weird (and I mean, it really did just keep going down weird roads, which is why I scrapped it). Also, the way Crowley died and the resulting trauma was... probably a realistic way he would die as a human, but was also just too disturbing. Well... dying is a disturbing concept in general, and so is randomly waking up as a demon in a cult when you didn't know that was going to be your after life. And also... there were too many convoluted rules with the world building and this whole society that... bleh! Again. It just kept going down weird roads.

Now? He's just exploring how other celestial beings experience religion and navigate the world. And yes, he still sometimes engages with humans, but it's almost like they don't live in the same world as him. And I won't go too much further into it because I still need to write about it, but yeah, it's a better story now imo.

Maybe just give it some thought. Maybe your story just isn't ready yet. I mean, it could also just be that you need to write it because you're just feeling nervous and need to overcome that. And if it's not that, then maybe there is something you're having a serious hang up with. Try not to feel too bad if it turns out that a big chunk of your story needs to change. It really isn't a big deal. Writers do this all the time. It used to be a huge hang up for me. I used to be much more rigid about keeping a story more like how I originally thought it up and was afraid the story was running away from me if I changed it too much. It took some practice to become more open minded to other possibilities. And some bitter acceptance that these realizations can happen after writing out multiple chapters in your draft. Hence why you shouldn't put too much time and effort into a first draft. If you're constantly fussing over it, well, in my experience, that may be a sign that the plot isn't hitting overall and it's time to start over.

And I hope this doesn't come off as condescending/unsolicited writing advice. This is genuinely stuff that helps me with writing hang ups. I wish you luck in getting into your groove!

Me (after finishing my first fic) : wow that was really ambitious in the story it told and I’m SUPER proud of it. But for the next project let’s do maybe some one shots, some cozy south-downsy type fluff where I can really focus on the writing.

My brain: what about an AU with TIME TRAVEL!?!?

Me: why are you like this?

[will-o-the-witch]

Obviously you don’t have to answer this but I was curious how one might go about becoming more respectful/appreciative of other religions, specifically Christianity?

I recognize that stereotyping Christians and the Christian god is disrespectful and wrong (as you’ve mentioned in one of your recent reblogs) but over time I’ve developed a lot of Christian specific religious trauma to the point that I find it hard to think about it without getting a bit angry. I admire how you’re able to respect Christianity and defend it’s believers while not being Christian and while also being able to acknowledge some of the not great aspects about it (such as missionary culture) so idk I was just curious if you might know of a way I could grow to be more tolerant/accepting/less spiteful towards Christianity as well because I know it’s wrong of me but it’s hard for me to really feel comfy around concepts of Christianity. Or even if you just have some resources you could point to that would be helpful as well. Thank you :))) And I hope I’m not being disrespectful to you or anyone else by asking you this question- I just don’t quite know where else I might find a good answer and you seem to be a really good person to go to about learning to respect and appreciate all religions even outside of one’s own. I really enjoy your blog and your insight into these topics! Thank you! (Also off topic question but should I as a non-Jewish person censor the word ���god’ like gd if talking to someone who’s Jewish as I know Jewish people will not type it out fully or is that not necessary? Sorry if this questions is disrespectful too!)

Hey hey! Good questions ^^

Working on your trauma is always going to be an important thing, for this and for your life as a whole. It's important to recognize the ways it affects you and find ways to cope and/or rise above it with time. It's a lot harder to have grace with an open wound.

Don't get me wrong, Christianity still makes me really uncomfortable. I seldom feel completely safe/welcome in Christian-centric spaces and I have a LOT of opinions about the belief structure and the institution. That said, I know none of that is due to any of the individual Christians in my life, who are generally very open-minded and loving people. There's no reason to take it out on individuals who may not even align themselves with the areas I have problems with, just like it wouldn't be fair for them to take a criticism with Judaism out on me. We're all just folks, and people have a right to find comfort and meaning with the tradition that best suits them, even if it doesn't suit me personally. As long as they're being genuinely kind and considerate it's not really my business, yk?

Also- you don't have to censor Gd. We do it for a personal long-winded reason I won't get into here but there's technically no hard-and-fast law against just saying God, and if there was you would not be beholden to it as a gentile anyway!

[a-dragons-journal]

I completely understand your reservations about answering that last ask (as of writing, it was the one where annon was upset someone said you could choose kintypes) but I did want to thank you for it. I've been having my own dread trying to figure out my own otherkin identity and what you said did help ease things a little. Still will take time to sort myself out of course, but I think it'll be a little less stressful now.

Yeah, Plan B was to write an anonymized version of it where the exact person the original anon was talking about was censored out for privacy, because frankly it is an important discussion to be having - discussions like that are the fuckin heart of this community! Without them we literally would not exist the way we do today! And it does not need to be a "there's one right answer" sometimes it's just listening to other people's worldviews and points of view on the subject and learning from each other and sometimes we are allowed to come away disagreeing but still having learned things, alright, not every disagreement is a breaking point

idk, if someone asking "We accept all these other origins of kintypes as all being otherkin, what makes this specific one exempt when we really boil it down? And is that truly a worthy distinction or should we deconstruct and remove it?" genuinely sounds the same as someone saying "lol kins are something you can pick up and drop at will and they don't really have any impact on you, stop taking it so seriously" to you, then - in the gentlest way possible, possibly you have gotten burned out and overwhelmed by the community discourse and you need to take a step back for a bit in order to clear your head and hear what people are actually saying properly again. (And like, me too, I been there, I done that, I've also failed to do that and had to put my foot in my mouth afterward which fuckin sucks especially if you've got RSD or anything similar. It happens; people fuck up and/or misunderstand each other, especially on a subject that we're all so chronically burned-out and aggravated about.)

And like - there are definitely times when people say stupid shit that genuinely does deserve a "you have misunderstood the very basics of what you are trying to talk about, try again," don't get me wrong. Y'all've seen my opinions on KFF. But there are also times when people clearly do understand the subject and are challenging some of our typical thoughts around it in a way that might sound superficially similar to the former - and granted the difference between those two things is not always clear, but figuring it out Is Important, especially before you start responding to them. (And again, even if it's the former - going and sending anons to other bloggers in the community basically calling that person out for having a Wrong Opinion is not helping anything (except maybe letting you blow off some steam, but like. that's something to do in private DMs with a trusted friend, not public asks to relatively large blogs), and is relatively likely to do harm.)

idk I'm fuckin tired, tl;dr be rootin' be tootin' and by god be shootin' but most of all be kind to each other alright? benefit of the doubt, never assuming malice where ignorance will suffice, and giving yourself time before acting in anger are good rules of thumb

[memryse]

hello tumblr i present my canon-compliant "DSMP But... Everybody Discovered Large-Scale Organised Religion" mianite au which took a few hours to write up oops. basically here is a list of which god everybody would follow and why, based on canon events (i have therefore left out a couple of the members who don't really do lore or be on the server much because i definitely don't know about them enough to be accurate!)

dream: mianite. obsessed with control, you get it. went too far though and developed his own obsession with controlling the server so he is now godless and in jail

tommy: dianite. tommy is a favourite of dianite's - he's idealistic with a penchant for chaos, and like i said in my other post dianite probably sees himself in tommy a little. they're both misunderstood as Bad People

tubbo: ianite -> dianite, he converts post-doomsday. grew up as a follower of ianite and trying to follow her path put added pressure on him during his presidency. embraces being a dianitee with the start of the nuke program, but he keeps all his ianitee family heirlooms. ianite still holds a soft spot for him because of his family and occasionally gives him minor blessings. that being said she's of course a little disappointed he chose to change gods, but respects his decision

ranboo: no god, but enderwalk ranboo is an acolyte of ianite; awakeboo eventually converts to ianite when he reads awakeboo's note and decides to become more active in conflict resolution. he realises ianite actually aligns with his newfound ideals, and is of course more in touch with his ender side. however prior to this he wasn't really very keen on worshipping any gods, seeing as all he saw from them was wars waged in their names.

wilbur: also an atheist. probably prayed to dianite during pogtopia ("dream, i want to be your vassal" type beat) but other than that he's the type to criticise organised religion and be an independent leader, no need for gods. wilbur and ranboo narrative foils my beloveds!!!

techno: ianite. the thing about c!techno is he has one goal and he will stick to that no matter what - it's not total order, but it's not chaos either because there is motivation and reasoning behind it. also, a core tenet of ianitee ideology is not involving yourself in conflict until somebody personally wrongs you. much like butcher army era techno where he retreats to a peaceful (more godly, in this case) life until he's hunted down, at which point he Fucks Shit Up. in general techno holds grudges and takes even slight betrayals very seriously.

phil: ianite. i can see antarctic duo as former warriors of ianite! idk i don't have much to say phil is just.. a chill old warrior. probably jaded and tired of fighting wars for his goddess, but he still prays to her. specifically he prayed every night that wilbur could finally find balance in the afterlife. :)

niki: also ianite. definitely. niki values her own beliefs and morals, she's her own independent self. maybe she was a mianitee pre-nov 16th, but not since then. this makes the syndicate pretty much just a secret squad of ianitees (+ ranboo who everyone kind of just assumes is an ianitee given that, yknow, enderman). this is extra fun with the syndicate table being an end portal

sam: mianite 10000000%. he puts his commitment to duty above all else. not really much more to say he is just fully committed to keeping the server safe by carrying out mianite's will and imprisoning dream.

foolish: he's a god himself, so he doesn't follow any of the main three. however in the past he did work with mianite, enforcing his control over the land. from what we know about his totem of death period it wasn't like.. wanton destruction, it was him seeking control through violence, so i'm not inclined to say he worked with dianite back then.

george: man just wants to sleep and farm wheat, he's mianite. ez.

sapnap: also mianite. dream team as mianite's strongest and most revered knights!!!!!!

puffy: she's a pirate lady i don't know what to tell you other than she was part of capsize's crew. ianitee pirate ladies i care you. plus i feel like puffy centres mostly on people and not allying herself with specific nations or causes, she believes in balance above all.

eret: i view the greater dsmp as a mianitee nation, so as king of it they obviously have to follow mianite. eret has always strove to be a good king and help their nation prosper. plus, who knows what went on in the past with foolish. former mianite warriors eternal duo? i think so! (i think it would be cool if a literal reincarnation of herobrine was a mianitee purely because it fucks with everybody's expectations)

quackity: dianite. not just because he's chaos incarnate at times but like his entire current arc is so reminiscent of the fact that s2 dianite was literally a businessman. rip ghost dianite you would've loved c!quackity

fundy: oh boy here's a complex one. fundy switches gods frequently - look how much he craves acceptance from authority figures, from a substitute parental figure. i think right now his prophetic dreams could be interpreted as him being chosen by a certain god who sees potential in him, but i can't say who bc we don't really know too much about them or even why he's suddenly having them. that being said his chaotic scamming foxboy side definitely embodies dianite and he should have stuck with dianite the entire time but nah he needs Validation

jack manifold: follows dianite, but dianite isn't really pleased with him trying to kill tommy so often (seeing as he likes tommy). this is why he has such comically bad luck. his god is continually fucking with him.

karl: ianite, specifically chosen by her to become the historian of the server. the purple theme.. the duty to write down history as it truly happened (as opposed to censoring history like a certain mianite did). the existence of both the in between and the other side. karl Is balance. thank you. (also this makes karlnapity's marriage one mianitee, one ianitee and one dianitee. diversity win!)

schlatt: mianite (derogatory)

the eggpire is pretty much just the darkness isn't it. mianite was the blueprint actually.

bbh: dianite at first, judging by the badlands' ideology. corrupted by the darkness though.

antfrost: also dianite, but probably really lowkey about it and only ever prayed when the badlands needed his blessings. again, corrupted now

hannah: mianite - her connection to nature is by extension also a connection to mianite, the god of the overworld. plus she cared about maintaining harmony on the server and went to lengths to ensure it like the whole "killing her own dogs to protect them" thing. currently on her corrupted girlboss arc though

punz: dianite, he likes money and killing people idk what more you expect from me. even after joining the eggpire this has not changed at all. he'll work for other gods' followers for the right price but he's not changing his core beliefs

ponk: i don't know very much about him i'm ngl, especially not pre-eggpire. prior to his corruption though i do kinda like the idea of a mianitee doctor doing fucked up little experiments idk he just has mianitee vibes to me in the same way tucker was a mianitee.

skeppy: he and bbh are obviously both dianite together prior to the egg. it simply would not be right of me to put him anywhere else.

purpled: ianite. the colour purple... the tendency to stay so far out of conflict that he doesn't even log onto the server... mans was born to be an ianitee actually

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

tw domestic violence, sex

idk if im looking to vent or get advice but i atleast wanted to get it off my chest. my boyfriend beat me up so bad the other day i have a black eye and scratches all over my neck. ive kind of just accepted it as the price of being with him. i love him with all my heart and miss him the second hes away. today though i was looking at myself in the mirror and it dawned on me how wack i look feeding our newborn looking like this. i dont want him to think its ok i dont him to grow up and do the same to his girlfriend. im so messed up the night after he wanted me to suck his dick and i tried but couldn’t cause he hurt my neck so bad it was hard to physically suck. the other day he told me he likes chocking people because they have to do what he says in that moment and ik the statistics on dv and strangulation. but i dont want us to break up i just want him to stop i made a family with him why does he have to treat me this way? why am i so weak that im literally willing to accept it? i dont know whats wrong with me im not even the same person i was when we started dating and he doesn’t even help with anything around the house or the baby and i have to do everything even tho im the only one bringing in any money and ughggggggh

whats funny (but obviously not) is that in movies showing domestic violence the woman literally lives in fear or her abuser and im sure its that way for many in real life. but i dont live in fear i dont worry at the drop of a hat i say whatever i want (no filter super messed up stuff because he can hit me so why should i censor myself?) most fights are just regular fights. i never know when its gonna turn physical. even after it turns physical im not scared of him ik hes just trying mess with me. its when i push him beyond that point is when i get scared. when he puts his hands on me and wont stop even when im crying and begging. he hates so much when i cry as he freaking chokes me and it makes it worse. what does that mean? am i supposed to live in fear 24/7 or is it just not that bad?

-

First of all anon, I want to say that your feelings here are valid. You don’t need to fit the stereotype of living in fear 24/7. Like most stereotypes, it doesn't hold true for everyone outside of movies. Living in fear 24/7 creates a lot of on-screen tension that helps the audience connect and that's why they do it in movies. Real life domestic violence is a lot more complex and nuanced. Many people do not live in fear 24/7. Many describe exactly the feelings you describe - of being afraid when their partners go too far, but other times feeling brave, loving, or indifferent. Or some describe feeling safe and certain their partner has changed during the honeymoon phase before feeling unsafe again when their partner gets violent again. Not everyone has to react the same way to the same things, and your experiences are valid no matter how you feel or respond to them. 

I also want to point out that you are not weak. Not even a little bit. But if you genuinely feel that way, I do want to say that feeling weak is completely valid, and that it doesn’t make you less worthy. You are worthy now, as you are. Completely. 

It’s completely valid if you are having conflicting feelings about staying with your partner as well as having feelings about abuse not being okay. These feelings can co-exist. Most domestic violence survivors don't want their relationships to end, they just want the abuse to end. They love their abuser and wish they could just get their partner to treat them better. This is incredibly common. The reason for that is that abusers are rarely ever horrible 100% of the time. And they're rarely ever horrible right from the beginning (otherwise it would be much more difficult to lure victims to be with them). So in most cases of abuse, the survivor has lots of great memories (sometimes even recent great memories and loving moments) with their abuser. And when the abuse happens and they want it to stop, they don't want to get out of the relationship, they just want things to go back to being like it was in the good memories. It’s completely normal to have an array of feelings, even conflicting ones. And they are all valid. 

I want you to know that I am in no way judging you at all. I am just offering perspectives here, and one of those is thinking about your child. Even if you are convinced that he would never harm your child, your child could still be at risk. He may not have hurt your newborn yet, but it's not uncommon for people who engage in domestic violence to end up also physically abusing children later. Even if your boyfriend doesn't hurt your child, just witnessing abuse can also be traumatizing and have lasting effects.  It's okay if you're not ready to leave, it doesn't make you weak to accept the abuse and to choose to stay. There are a lot of complicated feelings involved in domestic violence especially with a child involved and wanting to keep the "family" together. You're not weak or wrong for having those feelings. But I still encourage you to think about whether this is the environment that you want to raise your child in. Especially since you don't want him to grow up seeing that kind of behaviour modeled for him and then decide to treat his future girlfriend that way.

One possibility for getting help that I want you to be aware of is taking the baby to the pediatrician is a good way to tell someone privately that you and your baby need help. They often have resource connections locally at doctors offices. You can also call a domestic violence hotline in your area or reach out to a local shelter if you have access to a phone that your abuser doesn't monitor (for example a friend's phone).

If you can, document any injuries. Preferably by seeing a doctor, but taking photos yourself and keeping notes of dates/times work too. This is a good idea even if you don’t plan to leave or file charges yet (or ever). It’s good to have for if you ever change your mind down the road and need to try and secure custody. If you document your injuries yourself, please try and make sure the documentation is somewhere your partner can’t find and destroy/delete it.

Another thing we suggest is to find a local domestic violence crisis center for help, or you can use virtual resources. Link 1, Link 2, or you can call 800-799-7233 if you are in the US. If you are in immediate danger, 911 (or your local emergency number) is always available to call.

- Mod April, Mod Allison, & Mod Emmett

[authoratmidnight]

A crossover idea I had the other day.

Glitch Techs-VRAINS crossover.

When they were talking about the possibility of a Glitch being able to disguise itself as a human and how if it managed that what that would would even mean and Five’s description made me go ‘oh my god, that sounds like an Ignis’

So, crossover time.

Not sure how or why the Glitch Tech team would go to Japan, maybe a work sponsored trip or for work. Small details. They’re there and in Den City.

While there they pick up a strong glitch signal which leads them to a plaza (currently showcasing a live stream of some event in Link VRAINS) and specifically the food truck parked there. Except they don’t see a glitch, just a dude cooking hotdogs.

They try to talk to him but oops language barrier. Until he drags in an impossibly pretty young man to act as translator. Who introduces himself as Lightning and states that he’d an android. And weirdly is the source of the glitch readings. They can’t actually do anything so they settle for getting food and having Lightning explain to them about Link VRAINS while they watch the stream.

And it’s fine and dandy till it’s not and something manifests inside Link VRAINS. So they instinctively go to help, completely ignoring Lightning trying to tell them that it’s under control.

They login via guest accounts, only to find several people already fighting the Glitch.

Enter the local heroes of Link VRAINS, Playmaker, Revolver and Blue Maiden (and their Ignises Ai, Aqua and Windy-I’m throwing him w/ Rev b/c the idea sounds fun lol). They were just chillin in LV, participating in the event when whoops some rogue malware suddenly got loose and went on a rampage in LV and now it’s turned into some kind of monster is beyond strange.

While fighting it/getting logged in users to safety, they run into the Glitch Techs who insist on tagging along and fighting it and explain what it is (since LV is virtual I’m just gonna pretend it translates things automatically, sort of like how being transformed allowed the girls to understand each other in Ojamajo).

Side note, while in Link Vrains that Ignis are their tiny Ignis forms b/c they use SOLtis outside of LV. Also they too register as high level glitches to the GTs. Also they turn into tentacle form to eat up the malware, which effectively neutralizes it

So they fight it and get rid of it (by way of what looks like a game of Hungry Hungry Ignis) and the GTs want to mind wipe them (as they’re supposed to do after Glitch events) but Rev is like 1) no 2) you’d have to mind wipe all of Den City cause this was live streamed so a lot of ppl saw it, and there’s no way they can manage that so again, no and 3) since it happened IN link VRAINS everyone’ll just assume it was a hacking incident or something. At which point he, PM and BM proceed to just log on out.

Yusaku decides to swing by Cafe Nagi to see Kusanagi/tell him about the sit and WHOOOPS there’s the Glitch Techs. Again. Who then zero in on Ai and now it’s Ai’s turn to play translator for Yusaku.

Everything after this is toying w/ ideas including:

-Yusaku’s unusual Link Sense causing him to set off their censors as some kind of anomaly which is very confusing b/c while Ai and Lightning are androids (albeit, very life like androids and in Ai’s case, surprisingly emotional) Yusaku is absolutely human

-Lightning and Ai absolutely set their stuff off as ultra rare glitches but like, they can’t do anything b/c the Ignis, aren’t doing anything. They’re clearly not a threat so they can’t just, take them away.

-Ryoken showing up to check in on Yusaku (Windy has been left with Pandor since she’s trying to teach him manners cause he’s kind of a brat/wild child lol)

-I def think the GT crew would figure out that Yusaku = Playmaker if only b/c of Ai, the tiny purple AI and the handsome SOLtis have the same readings

-I want Roboppi to show up at some point but idk how

-Yusaku gets dragged into showing them around, or at least showing them where the arcade is, since they are made up of gamers (and proceeds to get thrashed at video games b/c he’s a hacker not a gamer, before making Ai play instead)

-Yusaku introducing Five to Duel Monsters (we know he plays card games b/c we saw him playing against Ryu) they communicate using what’s basically google translate since Ai is busy. It’s not perfect but it works

-the GT crew trying to figure out what is UP with Yusaku and Ai’s relationship b/c even if they can’t understand them, from tone of voice and body language alone they can tell that Ai is flirting with/teasing Yusaku and while it does seem to be annoying Yusaku he seems, fine with it?? He’s not making any attempt to stop Ai and they swear he even smiled. And when it’s clear Yusaku is tired/all peopled out and they need to split Ai is just, so tender with him and Yusaku accepts it. And even tho Ai is an AI there are moments they swear, he’s almost, human.

[trensu]

Episode 6: the One Where LWJ is Drunk and Gets Married

YES, GUYS GALS AND NB PALS, WE ARE AT THIS MOST WONDERFUL EPISODE.

OUR FIRST INTRODUCTION TO DRUNKJ!LWJ

AND THE HANDFASTING THAT INSPIRED A MILLION FICS

Okay, to set the scene, we’ve got JC, NHS and WWX having a sneaky drinking party with Forbidden Alcohol

Obviously, LWJ can spidey-sense when a rule is being violently broken so he appears at the scene of the crime to BREAK UP THE PARTY (or possibly a threesome?? He’s not sure but he’s gonna put a stop to that immediately)

HIS SERIOUS BB FACE IS SUPER ADORABLE HERE, GUYS

LIKE, I’M MORE PARTIAL TO WWX BUT UGH, LWJ IS SO CUTE HERE???

IT’S AWFUL

WWX: *bounces right into lwj’s space* join us for a drink lan zhan!! We earned it after defeating the Haunted Water!!

LWJ: *stares over wwx’s shoulder* alcohol is forbidden in the cloud recesses

WHY WON’T YOU LOOK HIM IN THE FACE, LWJ?? IS IT BECAUSE HE’S SO CLOSE TO YOU SUDDENLY???

WWX: chill out dude *playfully tugs on lwj’s sleeve*

Oh man, the glare that lwj shoots at wwx’s hand here could have started a fire. I mean, it must have at least burned a little with how quickly wwx lets go

LWJ: Report to the Punishment Chamber

Did they have to call it ‘punishment chamber’??

It sounds like some kind of kinky sex dungeon, which, like, to each their own,(i’ll read some kinky sex dungeon fic every once and a while, myself)

But this is Ancient Fantasy China summer school…seems a little inappropriate in context

ANYWAY

WWX again tries to coax LWJ in to having a drink with them. He doesn’t understand how someone can just…not drink alcohol. Oh wwx, you budding alcoholic you

And here WWX nobly sacrifices himself to save his drunk buddies by distracting lwj (who was about to call for backup, like a narc) and pins some sort of mind-control talisman on him

Wwx: sit and have a drink with me!

Lwj: *sits down and takes a shot*

Lwj: *passes out*

Wwx: omg i killed him. WAKE UP YOU CAN’T STAY HERE!! YOU HAVE TO GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM!! 

Wwx: *proceeds to gently guide lwj onto the bed*

You know after that initial panic, wwx looks too damn pleased with himself, especially after he gets lwj to call him wei-gege

Wwx suddenly notices that lwj’s ribbon is off kilter and informs him of it bc that’s what friends do

Wwx: your ribbon is crooked

Lwj: *scandalized gasp* crooked??

Why’s he so adorable when he’s drunk?? LOOK AT HIM TRYING TO SEE HIS OWN FOREHEAD AND GETTING ALL CROSS-EYED, WHAT A CUTIE

Wwx: i can help!! 

Lwj: *slaps wwx’s hand* Go Away

Wwx: you’re making it worse!!

Lwj: *slaps wwx’s hand away harder* DON’T TOUCH! THE RIBBON IS ONLY FOR FAMILY AND SIGNIFICANT OTHERS

And now we have a way to measure their queer queer love for each other without making the censors mad

How does this show do it?? This is gayer than most of the stuff aired in the US and the US doesn’t even have that kind of censorship laws media producers here are a bunch of COWARDS, disney i’m looking at you

Wwx: lol, significant others, really?

Lwj: what’s so funny

Wwx: nobody’s gonna marry into the lan clan with your thousands of dumb rules and chronic allergy to fun

LOLOLOL BOY HAS NO CLUE. JUST YOU WAIT WWX, YOU’RE GONNA EAT THOSE WORDS

Wwx: nope, you are gonna be Forever Alone

Lwj: …that’s fine

This is actually kind of heartbreaking tbh

He’s so resigned and pretending so hard not to care!!

HE TRULY BELIEVES HE’S NOT LOVABLE *UGLY CRYING*

Idk how the actor did it bc lwj still has a very placid expression on his face but it somehow manages to convey like, a sense of loneliness while still looking adorably drunk?? Idk man, i think black magic might be involved

All this to say POOR BB LAN ZHAN, COME HERE SWEETIE AND LET ME HUG YOU. YOU’RE GONNA BE FINE, I SWEAR.

Wwx is so incredulous at this response. Like he totally believes lwj would be okay staying alone forever but he doesn’t understand it

Bc wwx is a dumb teenage boy who doesn’t yet have the emotional intelligence to see that lwj is just saying that bc he’s scared and hurting

Now we get to see an acute case of Foot-in-Mouth Syndrome like we did back in episode 2!

Wwx: your mother must be so bored here all the time

DAMN IT WWX

WHAT IS IT WITH HIM AND BRINGING UP PEOPLE’S DEAD MOTHERS???

LWJ: i don’t have a mother 

He says flatly HIDING HIS SORROW

*UGLY SOBBING*

HE’S SO SAD AND LONELY GUYS

IT HURTS TO LOOK AT

WWX: you can’t not have a mother! Somebody gave birth to…oh.

There’s a crack vid somewhere on youtube with this scene voiced over “it was at that moment he realized…he Fucked Up”

And it’s true

Dumb boy

Here WWX makes up by sharing his sad orphan story with LWJ. it’s so sweet

THEIR SONG IS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND WHILE THIS EXCHANGE HAPPENS

UGH THIS SHOW

LISTEN, ALL THIS HAS HAPPENED ALREADY AND WE’RE BARELY 10 MINUTES INTO THE EPISODE

LIKE, WHAT??

HOW. HOW CAN YOU GIVE ME SO MANY FEELINGS IN TEN MINUTES. THE FIRST TEN MINUTES OF THE EP EVEN.

WWX: my parents died when i was four and I can’t remember their faces–but i do remember getting chased by feral dogs

POOR BB WWX

HE CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER THEIR FACES 

OH, but we do get to see Actual BB!wwx in a brief flashback (within a flashback, remember this summer school business is not present time, how weird is that) and he’s riding a donkey while his mama and papa walk beside him. It’s adorable.

And after all that Emotional Vulnerability, he’s like “i’ll drink to that bro!” and makes a toast

I actually kind of like the toast he makes here with lwj tho

He tells him “may we never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is worth forgetting”

Idk if that’s like, a traditional toast or something he made up on the spot, but i like it

We get a brief moment of plot development here. 

AND OOOOH, THEY’RE ABOUT TO GET IN TROUBLE!!

So some Lan SNITCH barges into the room where lqr and lxc are at and is all “we caught wwx drinking Forbidden Alcohol!” and lxc’s expression is all gently amused

but then Lan Snitch continues “LWJ was with him!!” and lxc’s amused expression quickly morphs into Very Alarmed

(right before that all happened tho we get to see lwj fall out of bed, still passed out drunk and wwx laughs at him. I can’t even hold that against him bc i totally laughed at lwj too)

The camera now shows us some frankly HORRIFYING beating sticks (paddles?? Do they qualify as paddles?? THEY’RE HUGE AND SCARY AND MADE OF NIGHTMARES)

And bc LWJ is too honorable for his own good

Lwj: i am at fault and accept my punishment!

And goes on his knees to willingly get beaten. STOP THAT LWJ

WWX IMMEDIATELY steps in to take the blame, like no, it’s actually my fault bc i forced him to drink when he didn’t want to. LAN ZHAN SHOULDN’T GET PUNISHED!!

LQR: (proving that lans are all Dramatique) ARE YOU TRYING TO RUIN CLOUD RECESSES??

Take a chill pill, old man. A teenager getting drunk is not gonna start the apocalypse (probably)

And here lwj completely ignores wwx’s attempt to absolve him and is all no, I Made a Mistake and Must Get Punished 

Wwx: STOP ASKING FOR PUNISHMENT YOU IDIOT

So the punishment is kind of…harsh, but also lol bc as soon as wwx sees lwj take the beating without flinching or even staggering under the strength of the hits (lwj is truly a stronger man than i; one look at those Nightmare Sticks I would’ve run for the hills), he grits his teeth and forces himself to stay steady

Wwx: *internally but you can totally read it in his face* i’m not gonna let that bastard one-up me!! I have WAY more experience taking punishments. I am the punishment KING.

Okay so that all happens and afterwards WINGMAN LXC STRIKES AGAIN

LXC: wwx, you should definitely visit the family’s private cold spring

LXC: you know, so you can heal faster and not miss class

LXC: not for any other reason

I’D LIKE TO TAKE THIS MOMENT TO THANK GOD AND ALSO JESUS FOR THE UPCOMING SCENE

WE ARE AT THE COLD SPRING

LOOK AT WWX RUNNING TOWARDS LWJ

WET, HALF-NAKED LWJ

Wwx: *leans coquettishly against a tree thing and pouts* why didn’t you tell me about this spring? Friends don’t keep secrets from friends!!

wwx, you’re so clever, how can you be so stupid – boy is flirting at max level and doesn’t even realize it???

Lwj: HOW ARE YOU EVEN HERE *frantically robes up like some virginal maiden which he kinda is*

Wwx: your brother told me!

Lwj: *internally* brother why

And here wwx gets into the cold spring

Wwx: so cold so cold, let me get close to you where it’s warmer~! *dives right into lwj’s personal bubble*

Lwj: *takes a HUGE step back*

Wwx: *pouts* you know i didn’t like you much before but after our Romantic Moonlit Sword Fight and our Sword Fight By the Waterfall, i’ve decided i like you a lot and we should definitely be friends forever

Lwj: *doesn’t even look at wwx* That’s Not Necessary

Wwx: before you reject me, let me show you all the ~benefits~ to being my friend! *starts to strip*

(I’M NOT EVEN KIDDING YOU, HE LITERALLY SAID BENEFITS AND STARTED TO GET NAKED)

LWJ *is Horrified in a Repressed Gay Way* WHAT ARE YOU DOING

WWX: getting naked?? To heal better?? I thought this was obvious???

LWJ: *determinedly walks away*

WWX: wait don’t leave!! I’ll keep my clothes on! Anyway you should definitely visit me in yunmeng and i can pick lotus seeds for you. That’s totally what i meant about benefits.

LWJ: no

WWX: i can also introduce you to all the pretty girls there!

I CRACK UP EVERY TIME AT THIS. WWX, THAT IS A WHOLE GAY BOY YOU’RE TALKING TO, OH MY GOD

Then it turns out the cold spring is actually Haunted Water 2: This Time It’s Personal and tries to drown them

See this is why i don’t trust any bodies of water

They’re all out to get us

AND NOW WE GET TO THE  CAVE OF WONDERS (or cold pond cave, whatev)

Wwx: what is happening

Lwj: *is fascinated by the cave of wonders*

Lwj: *internally* ooooh Magic Guqin!! (BECAUSE HE’S A NERD LOLOL)

Magic Guqin: NOT TODAY SATAN *attacks wwx*

Wwx: WHY IS IT ATTACKING ME, I DIDN’T EVEN DO ANYTHING YET!!

brief pause here to point out that we meet the bunnies now!! Hello bunnies!!! Everyone in the fandom loves you~!!! 💗💗💗

Okay so Magic Guqin continues to attack wwx but wwx is a Clever Boy and figures out that it’s only attacking him because he doesn’t have a sacred lan ribbon

Wwx: lwj, quick, give me your ribbon!

Lwj: *FLIES RIGHT OVER TO WWX and proceeds to bind their wrists together with the SACRED RIBBON ONLY FAMILY ANd S.O.’s CAN TOUCH*

Then the camera zooms in on the metal piece of the ribbon that is now swaying gently between them like, Subtlety? Never heard of her!

Camera: yep, this is totally a straight thing that straight bros do together

So now that they’re bound together for eternity the boys approach the Magic Guqin

Lwj slaps wwx’s hands away from the guqin here – just bc i let you touch the sacred ribbon doesn’t mean you can touch the magic guqin that tried to murder you

BC LWJ IS A MUSIC NERD AND IS TOTALLY GEEKING OUT OVER THE PRECIOUS MUSICAL HEIRLOOM

LWJ proceeds to reverently play the Magic Guqin and we have this moment where he’s like, floating in space surrounded by glowy blue lights??

Idk man, it’s weird but we’ll roll with it

This is the first time we see him communicate with spirits using music, btw. 

Now we meet Lan Yi!! Who is a badass and important for plot reasons but the Valid Reason she’s mentioned here is because SHE OFFICIATES THE WANGXIAN WEDDING (bc we’ve already established that we’re not here for the plot lol)

the boys are tied together with the sacred ribbon and then they bow to a clan elder. How is that not, bare minimum, a handfasting??? 

Okay, technically, lwj bowed to the elder first to show respect while wwx stood there all stunned until lwj reminded him of the Importance of Manners. Then wwx bowed. But I’m pretty sure that still counts.

“You two being here must be destiny!” lan yi says, “i’m gonna do some plot exposition so pay attention.”

Thankfully we are not lwj or wwx so we don’t have to pay attention at all!!

At some point, wwx makes a clever comment and lan yi is all “wwx you’re as smart as i thought!! 

Yes yes i definitely approve of you marrying my great great great grand-son/nephew/whatever the heck he is, idk i’ve been in this cave too long with only bunnies for company" (🎶bunnies are better than people, buns don’t you think that’s true~?🎶 I AM SO SORRY FOR THAT REFERENCE, DISNEY YOU STILL SUCK I JUST HAVE POOR SELF-RESTRAINT)

Okay, she for real complimented wwx’s intelligence (bc I guess everyone’s hot for WWX’s big brain? Idk) but i’m pretty sure she was thinking the rest of that really loudly in her head

Then more plot stuff happens and the episode ends!!!

Beautiful, phenomenal episode. One of the MOST IMPORTANT Wangxian episodes we have!! 100/10 stars, would watch again.

Return to Masterpost

[nadja-chamack16]

Sanders Sides Theory (based on the bloopers video trailer thingy)

So in the newest sanders sides bloopers video there was this trailer for the next sanders sides video and I’m gonna break it down scene to scene but I recommend you see it first. ( I’m doing this at 2 am so forgive me for how stupid these may be ALSO English isn’t my main language so I might not have good spell skills)

First there is a recap of SVS that’s starts with the date “March 31” and then the trailer for the next sanders sides vid starts with the date of the wedding/callback and it starts the same way SVS started but everything is a little darker (it could be the time of day or just an effect of Thomas’ mind like we saw in Accepting Anxiety pt.2)

Next scene is Thomas opening the door like he did in SVS but this time he doesn’t look exited at all, he looks sad and pissed at the same time and it is also dark outside and he’s wearing a suit which makes me think that he just came back from the wedding and is ready to argue because he realized he should have gone to the callback.

After it’s Thomas in a video game screen, I think it’s a reference to Pokémon, (I think the game boy version but idk plz don’t sue me-) Thomas is facing and unknown adversary and where there should be text there is none

Next scene is just Patton screaming looking distressed this could be caused by him being overwhelmed while the other are talking over each other or maybe he’s trying to ignore one of them because he doesn’t agree (it would probably be Deceit or Roman) [I’m so scurrd like dad is looking rough :,(]

This scene is of Thomas at what we can only assume to be is the wedding but it’s in a video game (we can also see that it is dark outside so that could support the theory that he just came back from the wedding)

Then we cut to Roman saying something that is causing him to be emotional (probably reflecting as well but he looks sad and kind of hurt in a way, he could even be regretting the decision he took in SVS) (also like poor child. I heard somewhere taht this was gonna be a two parter and those vids are known to be character development and kinda angst so I’m scurrd cuz Roman angst makes me cry more than the other angst)

The scene after is Thomas in a Mario like video game situation(?) [ I believe these video game scenes could be either helping Thomas explain what happened or help another side with their argument like we saw in the Logan Vs Roman video and it could even be a little cut away when things get a little too serious (kinda hoping for that one even tho it’s a stretch because I’m scared of what the screaming Patton means)]

Lastly, Thomas says his intro except he changes it and says instead “ What the f*ck everybody” and it is censored by a video game coin and let’s just say Thomas looks pissed (I also think that this obviously comes after the first scene where Thomas opens the door as a parallel situation this scene and the scene in SVS because they are complete opposites)

This is my fav comment from the bloopers vid and I wanted to share it cuz I laughed a good bit

@ironwoman359

Anyway I have to sleepy time.

[innocentlynj]

The Very First Time

Pairing:  Reader + Kim Namjoon (F X M)

Genre: one shot 

Warnings: smut (mostly fluff) 

Word count: 2400+

ignore how many times I had to censor a word because tumblrs a bitch. 

He had tried to make everything perfect, literally down to the detail. But how couldn't he, you were the love of his life and he only wanted the best for you?

Today was the day he was going to give himself to you, you already losing your first time to a possessive ex in the past. His nerves were on end with wild thought running through his head. Was he going to be good enough? What if he couldn't please you? What if... His thoughts were interrupted from a ding of his phone. He opened up the Snapchat app and smiled as a picture of you flashed across the screen, putting a smile on his face before taking a screenshot of you as he always does and takes a quick picture of himself.

He smiles to himself again at the thought of how perfect you are in his eyes. He knows that some fans haven't been the best to you but he also saw the real fans in their support and constant love and acceptance he gave your guys relationship. He sat down on the floor, careful not to ruin the freshly made bed that had the slight smell of his cologne that he knew you loved so well by the way you would hug him just a little tighter to smell him more.

He flipped through the playlist he made for this, being the hopeless romantic he is, and the sound of soft music flowed the air like silk against skin, piano, and violin working harmoniously together.  He nodded to himself, satisfied with the scene in front of him. He heard a small knock on the door, but not any knock. The knock that you both made for each other as a secret and also as an inside joke. Yours was to the song "The Ballad of Mona Lisa" by Panic at the Disco since he knew how much you loved them, almost as much as you loved his group of BTS, and his being "Flower Cafe" By Jooheon Changkyun. He got up in a flash to answer the door as he took in your appearance, a blush creeping onto his skin.

You were dressed in almost the simplest outfit, in a long-sleeved black tee and fitting jeans and sunglasses to hide your appearance from the press. To Namjoon, you were absolutely stunning and took his breath away. You smiled brightly at him as he let you into his dorm but the other boys were out, for specific reasons. You unloaded your bag and scarf onto the nearest coat rack and are quick to wrap your arms around your beloved boyfriend of now 3 years. You both started dating after you finally got you and your friend into a fan sign after, possibly, buying 200 albums to actually get there. It was an effort but you are so glad you did it, because there you both locked eyes and it was an unspeakable connection that you two had shared, and continue to share to this very day.

"I missed you." The first words spoke since you arrived that were uttered from the very tall man hugging you tightly to him as if he was afraid you were going to slip away from him. You giggled and hugged him tightly back.

"I missed you too Aein" (sweetheart) You say softly as you softly inhale is scent and shut your eyes in comfort. That's when you heard the soft music playing and the smell of food in the atmosphere. "Wait, did you cook? And the fire department isn't here?" You joked as you looked around for any sign of a fire. He chuckled at you and rolled his eyes.

"No, I had Jin Hyung help me out with all this. I can't even cut an onion." He joked and hugged you from behind as you looked at all the food prepared for you two. You had lost a lot of weight before meeting Namjoon, being very depressed and just stopped eating which he helped you with later in the relationship, mostly due to the fact that he didn't know. You had gotten to the healthy side of life, but still some thickness in areas but he loved it on you. Your eyes watered slightly at such the amazing gesture and he cupped your face and turned you around to face him and kissed you gently on the lips. "Let's eat!"

After you both ate a little bit, him mostly knocking things over and him being his usual clumsy self but something was a little off with him, but you really couldn't put your finger on it, nor did you want to assume things. He took a deep breath and put on a huge grin, dimples shining through slightly as his eyes glittered in the light with happiness. He pulled something from his pocket and your heart skipped a beat.

"Y/N. I know we've been dating for the past three years now, so this is long past due, but I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to marry you in the future, but being with BTS takes up a lot of time and I know it is stressful for you sometimes. So until I am able to put an engagement ring on that finger, I want to give you this." The entire speech your heart filled with joy and your eyes filled with tears. He opened the box and held out the prettiest promise ring you have ever seen. It must have cost a lot, but honestly, he could have given you a ring pop and you would have been happy with the thought. "S-So," he stuttered slightly and honestly it was adorable and pure. "Will you be my forever?"

Of course, you nodded and got up quickly and kissed him passionately. When you pulled away he slid the ring on your finger. He looked up at you with love in his eyes and you looked back with the same about of love for him. You cupped his cheek and looked at the features of his face, almost studying it. 3 years ago you would have never envisioned yourself in this position but here you are, staring at the face of Kim Namjoon and him staring at you with so much love that you never felt with anyone else before. His eyes moved from your eyes to your lips and they looked back at you with the slight definition of lust. He gently grabbed the back of your hair and pulled you down to kiss him. As your lips connected, there was something different about this kiss that you ever felt before. The fireworks you heard people talk about were there. You had never felt them, kissing people only felt like lips touching but with Namjoon the hairs on your arms stood up on end.

Namjoon could feel it too as he slightly hissed into the kiss and pulled you close to him and onto his lap. You gratefully wrapped your arms around his neck and played with the hair close to the nape of his neck and tugged gently, earning a low moan from his lips that were working against yours in sync. This sent a twist of emotions to your stomach and made you do it again but a little more gently, just to stimulate him. He growled softly and picked you up, forcing you to wrap your legs around his waist as he moved you both to his bedroom, the food forgotten (for now, never let good food go to waste tf?) A slightly giggle left your lips as you left small kisses on his neck until he laid you on his bed. The air smelled of him, and the soft music was only slightly louder in here. Everything looked perfect, almost a little too perfect like he had stressed over this, and then you remembered that this would be his first time, ever. You suddenly got nervous and sat up.

"Baby, are you sure you want to do this?" You say as he steps towards you and kneels in front of you.

"Yes. I can't think of anyone I would rather do this within my life." Namjoon said and smiled softly, brushing his thumb across your cheek and searching for your expression. "Are you sure you want to do this? I know your first time wasn't the best but-" You cut him off by kissing his hand gently.

"I want you. And only you. Forever." You say and brush the hair out of his face slightly. He smiles and reconnects your lips and you both crawl back the headboard where the pillows are and he places his hand on your hip, the other supporting his weight above you. He slides his hand down to your thigh and very slowly to your heater core, almost afraid to touch you as you were a soft petal that would break.

"Is this okay?" He pulls away breathlessly, his fingers feathering over your core as he looks you in the eyes. You nod and kiss him again, sliding your hands up the back of his shirt and to his shoulders as he applied pressure, earning a soft moan from you. It made Namjoon happy to hear you make such beautiful noises, as he wanted to make sure you feel as good as he was in the moment. You slowly pulled off his shirt and touched his bare chest and looked at him.

"You are..so perfect." You say to him and he gets shy, smiling and burring his face into your neck and giggling, making you giggle and when he pulls away from you both just look at each other and start giggling as he kisses you again, slowly nipping and licking his way to your neck. You hear him mumble a soft "Is this okay?" Your breathing had picked up, leaving you only in short outtakes as you nod again. You were touched that he kept asking for your permission with everything, being a gentleman. After your nod you felt him gently nip on your skin, sucking and biting his way through a few hickeys on your neck to even darker and bigger hickeys.

Your moans were his encouragement to continue as he slowly pulled off your shirt and jeans, leaving you in only your undergarments. He blushed a deep red at the sight of you in front of him; breathing heavily by his doing, the hickeys on your neck that were just starting to form, your hair sprawled out around you making you look like an angel, and the sexy appeal of seeing what very little has seen (including friends and immediate family bc Idk about you but my mom doesn't know what knocking is). You blushed and started to cover yourself when he removed your hands and kissed your stomach. 

"아름다운." (beautiful) He said and pulled off his pants, leaving him in only his boxers. you took this opportunity to slowly unhook your bra and watch as his face went to a face of shock as he looked at you. He gulped slightly and looked you in the eyes and smiled shyly, like a kid finding seeing mommy kissing Santa under the mistletoe. He slightly lunged towards you and kissed you with such lust it sent your whole body into a sensitive shock as he gently gripped your right br*ast and looked at you, "Is this okay?"

You had to laugh softly, as he asked at least 3 times this entire time. You cup his face and forced him to look at you. "Yes, I am okay. You don't have to keep asking my love. I want you. All of you." With this, most of Namjoon's nerves left and he gently rolled your n*pple between his fingers, sending shocks throughout your body as a low moan left your parted lips. The rest of the clothes were soon discarded and Namjoon reached for the condom in the bedside table, accidentally knocking over one of the speakers as he cursed to himself. You giggled slightly at his clumsy state as he finally got a condom, after breaking the box and spilling the rest of them out. He let out a small nervous chuckle. He ripped the condom with his long finger and then looked at it slightly and breathed heavily as his shaky hands tried to roll the condom on his thick cock of his.

This was the first time you were able to take in his size and it took your breath away. The daze you were in snapped and you saw him struggling and you smiled softly.

"Baby let me help." You say and you roll the condom on him after licking your hand and rubbing it over his dick a few times to lucubrate it, smirking when a few moans and curses left his mouth. When it was on you pushed him gently to the bed and got on top of him. "Let me take care of you, baby." You say softly slide yourself onto him as you both groan in pleasure. It was a little painful at first due to his size but within a few minutes, that uncomfortable pressure was replaced with a pleasure that spread slowly throughout your entire body.

Namjoon grit his teeth and hissed through them, gripping your waist with his long slender fingers tightly that left slight marks.

"Y/N if you don't move soon I might go crazy." He muttered through his teeth and he opened his eyes that had found themselves closed and looked into your eyes. They showed pure love and passion. You felt a soft moan leave your lips just at the look alone he was boring onto you. You slowly started moving, sliding up and down on his dick as his hands guided him down onto his dick, leaving groans and stuttering curses in Korean from his lips. The effect you had on him turned you on more than the small foreplay that you shared before. You picked up your pace a bit and placed your hands on his toned chest and his hands slowly found their way to your ass, gripping the skin tightly and moved with every bounce you made.

His eyes had fluttered closed once again you looked down at his angelic face, scrunched in focus and in pleasure. The sight below you was one to make your heart flutter with love. You leaned down and placed a kiss upon his lips, receiving a kiss in return and a moan as you gently bit his lip and tug it gently between your teeth. He looked up at you and the grip on your ass tightened and he started to pull you down on his thick cock faster and more hard than your pace, making you cry out a moan and nuzzle your face into his neck.

Namjoon saw the effect he had on you and brought one hand up and between you and started rubbing your clit in lazy circles, pushing you closer to your edge.

"J-joonie," You managed to stutter out in a haze of pleasure

"I know jagiya, I'm-" He was cut off by the wave of pleasure that overwhelmed him at the moment and he stuttered slightly. His fingers worked faster against your cl*t, making sure you were feeling as good as he was, but honestly, you couldn't feel more love and pleasure at this moment.

With a final thrust, you both reached your climax and you rolled off of him gently and laid next to him, breathless. The only thing in the air was the sound of the soft music and you both heavily breathing, but it was music to both of your ears. You looked up at him and smiled, kissing him gently and cuddling into him and pushed some hair out of his face.

"Did you like it?" You ask at the breathing angel in front of you as he locks eye with you.

"I think I went to heaven being with you." He flirts and you giggle, kissing his shoulder softly. He started tracing shapes on your back as your eyes drooped from being tired. "Sleep, my love. I will wake you up in the morning." He said and kissed your forehead. You moaned in acknowledgment muttered a small,

"사랑해"

Namjoon smiled at your sleeping form. "I love you too Y/N"