#idk rubs me the wrong way which sucks cause I like his character a lot and he makes me laugh

[sanasanakun]

The weed is making me courageous so I think my biggest unpopular opinion for Bg3 is I don’t think Astarion is sexy or cute or anything at all really. He’s just there. Like he’s just a dude with an attitude problem lol like I keep seeing people compare the man to a renaissance painting like he’s fucking Lestat. Dude wishes he was Lestat lmao he’s just some white man with high cheekbones 😂😂

[sour-n-salty-citrus]

Do you like the backstory for rick? Idk I kinda preferred it when Rick's past was a complete mystery and i dont really care about diane at all. I didn't expect the writers to actually write a canon for him either but I guess they realised how much the audience wanted one for him

Ajdjdjeidjs ack, I'll be honest I'm not... keen on it.

(Bolly-quinn actually puts it into words well how I feel about Rick's backstory here)

I liked the mystery element of his backstory! I know it's always exciting to have things in canon, but like... it being open to interpretation was something I always appreciated.

And... ugh, hoo boy. I'm torn. I mean, I love that Rick is completely different from what dudebros and like- "high iq" redditors present him as. He's a man who loved his wife and daughter, loved them so much he would rather give up travelling the multiverse, becoming a genius scientist, just to stay with them. He was vulnerable, soft, and caring. He wasn't nihilistic and reckless and selfish and some "alpha male who wouldn't let anything tie him down". He was ridiculously romantic, optimistic, sweet and loving, and maybe even kind.

And I don't give a shit.

I don't! I don't care. This might sound incredibly cruel and unfair, but I don't care that Rick lost his family.

Ok- let me explain.

I'm... disappointed. I'm disappointed that losing Beth and Diane is all it was that made Rick into the complete and utter monster he is today (or the start of the series anyway). I don't mean to undermine his loss and grief- at all! It's just... for him to go on a (seemingly decades long) killing spree, slaughtering any version of himself he seemed to come across... christ. Maybe in his eyes, they were all as bad as that One. Which is understandable. I'm very lucky to have not experienced that kind of loss. I haven't had to Grieve the way Rick did. Maybe I just don't get it, because I've never felt it. That's fair.

It just felt... god, I don't want to say excessive. I know, people process grief in different ways, and for some it manifests in unhealthy ways, some lash out at the world, fixate on trying to find an explanation, to find justice, etc. And I like how Rick was an absolute inconsolable wreck at first. Something like that, it needs time to process and overcome before you can start moving again.

I just- I don't know. Something rubbed me the wrong way about it all.

It's like- it's not that I wanted Rick to have spent all that time partying or something. It's just- argh, i don't know! Maybe someone else can put it into better words lol.

I hate that he immediately jumped into not giving a single shit about other people (save birdperson and squanchy!). Like- when he blew up those aliens who gave him whatever it was he needed. Ah- ok, they probably weren't exactly innocent or anything, but still. I think it was just I felt if we ever saw Rick's backstory, I'd want it to be a slow decline into who he is, show him gradually losing so much of his morality and becoming so jaded. Idk i guess i just wanted it to be like, a series of significant (and lesser but still important) events that lead to him going down that path rather than- this ONE thing that just apparently completely ruined him? And yeah ik ik it was a BIG thing, but like- i guess i was expecting.... more? Maybe something like idk Rick trying to save all the other Beths and Dianes and failing, idk, just... something more.

I actually would have preferred it if Diane lived. I dont know, I just- man I really hate the dead wife/daughter turns ordinary man into callous asshole trope. I agree, it's hard to really care all that much for Diane, and for a while I couldn't understand why. I thought, idk, is it internalised misogyny? Do I just not like Diane because I want to ship Rick with someone else?

I think I get it now. Diane, for all her significance in Rick's backstory, just... isn't a character. She's just- the motivation Rick needed to kick off the story. You could replace her with literally anybody else Rick could have loved and it wouldn't feel any different. She just doesn't feel special. She's no more unique than any other Dead Wife. We get nothing, literally nothing of her. I kept thinking, why? Why does this just not hit that hard? Rick's had emotional moments with Beth, with Birdperson, even with Summer and Jerry. And then I got it- it doesn't feel earned. It felt like how you feel when you see side characters or extras in the background of an action movie die. Maybe some faint sadness, but mainly nothing. We as an audience get nothing from Diane, we don't know her, don't get to see how she matters to Rick, don't get to see her relationship with Rick, we don't get any chance to connect with her character. So when she dies and Rick gets his montage of seeking revenge, it doesn't feel earned. It feels more like I'm being told about how this guy suffered than really seeing it (which i believe, may have been the writers intention actually...). It's kind of like a feeling of "damn that sucks bro... and?". There's no real heavy emotional response that I could really get from it...

I actually would have preferred if Rick and Diane broke up, divorced. I feel like that would offer so much more for them BOTH as chatacters. Instead of their relationship being happy and sunshine and rainbows until a Big Bad came in and took that away, I'd prefer it if Rick's downfall was just... his fault. (Actually His fault.) If his marriage fell apart because he couldn't make it work. If he estranged his daughter because he couldn't properly handle fatherhood, despite loving her. If he was flawed, terribly flawed, because of his own misjudgement and shortcomings. I guess my biggest problem, is that this is presented as someone having the perfect life, which is then taken away as a result of someone Else. It's too easy to then say, oh, it's not his fault he's like that! He had his heart broken, his life ruined! He lost himself in a revenge spree, poor thing... I'd have rathered if it was just a little bit more... realistic? If Rick had been the root cause of his own problems. If he'd experienced tragedy, but also been the cause of much more. I just wish there'd been more of a balance? It just felt so rushed. And not because of the montage- it just like Rick became completely apathetic way too fast. I just hate hate HATE the "he was a good guy with the perfect little life until tragedy struck and he was never the same". Rick never made the effort to improve his life, to do better, to be better. He's actively a cruel, callous, unkind person (complex, yes, but these are traits no one can deny he harbours). He's done far worse than was done to him, and that will never be justifiable to me... it just all feels so very cliche and out of place, and out of everything, this was the one thing I had hoped they wouldn't do.

I think the writers are aware of this, strangely enough. I mean, Rick even calls it his "crybaby backstory". I think they didn't want to leave it open any longer, and just got it out of the way. I don't think they really want to elaborate on it anymore. From what I predict, they want to focus on the here and now of Rick (and Morty, haha), and the development of who Rick is NOW, instead of who he WAS. I think they kind of just went, here's your gut-punch, your tragic backstory, now leave it alone. Diane is dead, Rick had a hard past, the series is about moving on and change. Now can we PLEASE get back to the sci-fi shenanigans?

(There was something I LOVED about the backstory though, and that was the soundtrack! Like the music for the Battle of Bloodridge, it fucking SLAPPPEDDDD. I can't imagine making synthwave emotional, but it actually kind of worked! The swell of the music actually did a lot more for getting a reaction out of me than the content lmaooo. It kind of reminded me of Kurzegast's "optimistic nihilism" for some reason... I actually liked the Bloodridge track so much, it got me a little into synthwave, which i never listened to before! The music producers this season have just KILLED IT!)

[ruby-whistler]

I was thinking about something you said yesterday about c!dream not having anyone reach out to him and it go me thinking. Because at least based on what i remember your analysis tends to have this tone of like, blame on others for not being a support system or positive influence on c!dream, which i think us unintetionally. Which made me think. Can you blame someone for not reaching out if they were unaware c!dream was feeling villainsed/unwell mentally? Because to the best of my knowledge he (1/

- never reached out to anyone other then maybe the letter to c!tommy during the pogtopia era, which c!tommy took positively and in fact stated c!dream was his friend several times to him.

Idk if im making sense. Like. If someone does self-harm or suicide or any other thing because of mental illness or otherwise emotional damage, how can people help or be at guilt for not helping if they do not know? The reason reaching out is so important to me is because people reach out when they acknowledge they need help and are willing to get it.

Idk i just feel like any form of emotional support or otherwise won't work unless a person is willing to be helped if that makes sense? Like. Lemme use an example from dsmp.

Would you blame c!dream if c!tommy had ended up commiting suicide? Would you blame c!ranboo? C!dream knew c!tommy was suicidal but didn't like. Encourage him to go to therapy. C!ranboo didn't either but unlike c!dream he had no power to revoke the exile. Would either be at blame for inertia? I genuinely don't know.

Let's go with another example here. C!tommy unintentionally hurts c!tubbo by saying he has thicker skin. C!tubbo hasn't talked to anyone about his trauma or suicidal ideation (one example is the dead man's switch) Is tommy at fault for not knowing tubbo's trauma? No! It's up to whoever has the trauma or mental issue to seek help or let people know, at least in this case.

Sorry if this doesn't make sense pls correct if wrong. Sorry if that last ask doesn't make sense. I'll rewrite it if i need to because i don't wanna come across wrong or offend anyone i just want to share my perspective and thoughts.

I think i know how to express what i wanted to yesterday but more concise and actually makes sense: you can't blame people for not helping if people don't ask for help. I can elaborate if needed

i think it would've been largely blamed on c!dream if c!tommy did end up dying by his own hand in exile. and i think that would've been... in a way fair, because he knew what he was doing, and he knew what was happening to c!tommy. but this is besides the point, because c!tommy was actively stopped from seeking help by c!dream, so the example doesn't really apply.

i think the problem with "he should've let people know" is that a common trauma response is to emotionally isolate yourself (raises hand) like in c!tubbo's case. of course you can't blame someone for not doing something they didn't know they were supposed to do, but it's... it's still bad the person didn't get help.

you know, when i talk about c!dream being abandoned, not being given a chance, or not being helped, i'm not,,, i'm not talking about the people who didn't reach out to him being in the wrong. i'm talking about him and how it affected him. how it was sad and messed up, because people need and deserve support in their life.

i blame the environment, the wars, the cycle of violence, the being hurt and then hurting others and justifying it to yourself. i don't blame the individuals - their mistakes are also a part of this loop, these situations they get stuck inside of, but they're flawed and they're human. they deserve help and they don't get it, not because all of the people around them are bad people, but because they're all hurting and make plenty of mistakes as a result.

i blame the environment for the way c!dream ended up, partially, because it could've been better. it could've ended up otherwise. that's how it should've been in a perfect world. the thing is... the dream smp is the furthest thing from perfect.

the only reason i'm ever critical of characters when it comes to the treatment of c!dream is when they do bad things after not helping him. the entire server watching him be killed twice over even though he had put away all of his weapons. c!sapnap saying he'd kill him if he escaped, while seeing the terrible conditions and what they're doing to him. c!puffy saying he doesn't deserve therapy.

sure, you could come up with justifications for a lot of this stuff, but when knowing they really did nothing to help him when he needed it most, these things just rub me in the wrong way, you know?

at this point, they know something changed. they know something happened, but they dehumanize him and let him be hurt anyways with no further wish to help after not being there in the first place.

c!dream deserved better than to have his home ripped apart and to be left alone and put in such situations. he was affected by the actions and inactions of others.

i'm not saying other people caused his bad reactions to the environment, or that they made him hurt them.

was it awful that c!dream has shown to probably not be in the best place mentally and has had his entire support system shattered when he was possibly in a dark period of his life? yes! do i blame the characters for what happened? no! they all need help! get them therapy! it's all messed up! they're all hurting each other, and that sucks - but they also deserve nothing but to get better.

/dsmp /rp

[chronicallylatetotheparty]

Watching (the Adventures of) Merlin season one on Netflix

Episode One: The Dragon's Call

. . . I feel like going to the capital of the kingdom indiscriminately slaughtering magic users wasn't the best idea.

Why? Well, that guy did just get executed.

And now his mom is mad. You tell that sorry excuse for a king, witch lady.

I don't like Uther, in case it was unclear.

Wait... if you could teleport why not just grab your son and ditch before he loses his head? Literally.

Oh, wow. Arthur is a dick.

Morgana. We have no choice but to stan tbh.

Dragon, you're really rubbing me the wrong way.

That's right Merlin! We need more than Because Destiny Says So!

Where did the spiderwebs come from? That sleeping spell gives me Sleeping Beauty vibes.

Ah, yes. The old drop-the- chandelier-on-the-villain trick. :(

If she went after Uther instead of Arthur I would have no complaints.

Manservant? You call that a reward for saving your son?

Episode Two: Valiant

Snake!Shield

Oh, he's gonna- Yup, dead. That's what happens when you deal with knights who cheat.

Where did that guy even get a magic shield in the first place?

Is there a thriving magic black market or something?

I love Guin.

. . . I feel like Sir Valiant didn't think this through. If bite marks are visible.

Ugh, you're the worst Uther.

It's only the second episode! Did you forget who saved your son already?

Stop being a jerk Arthur.

Lol. Merlin bringing a dog statue to life in order to practice for the Snake!Shield.

Bye Valiant!

Episode Three: The Mark of Nimueh

Whatcha up to with that egg, new witch lady?

You gonna poison the water of all of Camelot? Seems like a jerk move.

Dang that's a lot of dead bodies...

No, I like Guin's dad!

Yes! Cure him Merlin!

No! Stop arresting Guin, Uther!

You tell him, Morgana!

That plague monster that hatched from witch lady's egg is creepy.

Dead monster!

Arthur is kinda oblivious to Merlin's magic ngl.

Yay! Guin's free!

What do you know about witch lady Nimueh, Uther? Hmm? Why she want you dead? Besides the obvious reasons.

Episode Four: The Poisoned Chalice

Wow, Nimueh really doesn't like Merlin saving the day.

Wow, Nimueh really orchestrated an entire diplomatic incident in order to kill Merlin while also ensuring Camelot is destroyed by its neighbor. Impressive.

I really like Merlin and Guin's friendship.

Dang. Merlin really drank poison in order to save Arthur.

Merlin saved Arthur's life, Uther! Let him return the favor!

Oh, wow. Arthur really disobeyed his father in order to save Merlin's life.

I didn't know Merlin could cast spells while deathly delirious. And several miles away from him too.

Uther you b****! The antidote is right there! Let Arthur save his friend!

Putting your own son in a cell is such a jerk move.

At least Arthur and Guin manage to sneak the antidote to Merlin.

Quick aside: Internet spoilers say Uther needs to die for Arthur to complete his himbofication- I mean character development. So, if you could get on with that? Thanks!

Episode Five: Lancelot

Wow, that's a very CGI griffin.

Lancelot is so precious- Uh, I mean effective! Saving Merlin and all.

I know, Guin. I know.

Always thought it was a stupid rule to only let nobles be knights.

You're really going to commit magical forgery for someone you just met, Merlin?

I mean, Lancelot is earnest, hardworking, modest, kind despite his tragic backstory and it's his childhood dream to be a knight...

Yeah, I'd commit magical forgery too.

Lol, knocked you on your ass didn't he Arthur? (The second time at least)

I don't remember griffins being man-eaters!

Uther stop arresting people! Ugh, you're such a classist.

Let Lancelot help fight the griffin, Arthur! You need all the help you can get!

Well okay letting him go was nice of you.

Lancelot-Merlin tag team!

Wow. Lancelot really strode in with Camelot's singular braincell by figuring out Merlin has magic.

(The bar is low, okay.)

No, don't take away the braincell! Stay! The griffin was a team effort!

Okay, Lancelot's lawful good tendencies are a little annoying but, hey, nobody's perfect.

Episode Six: A Remedy to Cure All Ills

Edwin, no. Leave Morgana alone.

Oh, beetles! Curse beetles! That's not creepy at all.

Gaius how do you know Edwin?

What diabolical plot are you hatching Edwin? Oh, you're replacing Gaius in the royal court. That's kinda rude.

Merlin's so happy meeting another magic user that isn't trying to kill him (yet).

Le gasp! Uther's purge killed Edwin's parents? WhO cOuLd HaVe fOreSeEn tHis!?

But seriously. No wonder Edwin wants Uther dead.

I know Edwin blackmailed Gaius with exposing Merlin but he also wants to kill Uther!

That gives him a pass in my book.

Gaius no. Let Uther die.

Edwin stop trying to kill Gaius! You're going to-

Yup, here comes Merlin and-

Edwin's dead :(

Well he was trying to overthrow the kingdom. That's... bad... I guess.

Episode Seven: The Gates of Avalon

That title is misleading. It's more of a natural portal/magic lake type thing.

Arthur saves a father and daughter from bandits (Which they hired but shhh)

And they immediately try to put a love spell on Arthur

For human sacrifice purposes of course

Idk why the Sidhe want a human prince's soul -look at him, you don't know where he's been- but that's the price for readmission

I wonder how the dad killed one of his own kind? Was it an accident or...?

Exiling the daughter too makes me suspicious of Avalon's justice system

Evil laugh is a bit out of place for someone who is trying to restore his daughter's immortality

(They are so whiny about being mortal. Hey, we put up with it all the time!)

The fairy-like Sidhe moving in accelerated time so they just look like tiny orbs of light was an interesting touch. The blue faces and razor sharp teeth is not a good look for them, lol

They make Arthur ask to be married ('cause it takes a while for the love spell to go into full blown mind control or something)

Prompting Uther to threaten to kill both of them

(I feel like they didn't think this through)

Morgana admonishes Uther for being the worst

He replies that first love rarely lasts and that Arthur is inexperienced in such things. Plus that Arthur only met the girl yesterday

... I can't believe Uther is the voice of reason this episode

He doesn't get any points though. Due to the whole "threatening to execution his son's 'crush' " thing

The daughter is having second thoughts about using Arthur as a human sacrifice

Dear old dad puts those to rest and they try drowning Arthur in the lake that is/is the portal to, Avalon

Merlin's really leaning into the whole "Cool motive. Still murder.", thing huh?

Like, he did NOT hesitate to blow up both of them

Episode Eight: The Beginning of the End

Why do magic users keep going to Camelot!? The king is trying to KILL YOU!

Wow, this grown ass man is threatened by a literal child... I hate Uther so much

Morgana is the MVP of this episode. I love her

Protect that druid kid!

I feel like you're being paranoid Uther

You tell him Morgana!

Dragon, no. Stop prophesying death and destruction.

Wow, this grown ass dragon is threatened by a literal child...

Aaaand Morgana got caught sneaking the kid out of the city :(

Uther she is your adopted daughter! Stop putting people in cells!

Arthur is gonna sneak him out now?

While Morgana distracts the king?

Yes, excellent. What could possibly-

Merlin stop listening to that destiny dragon! Hearing his voice in your head is no basis for trust!

Cutting it close... Yay! They made it!

Mordred!? MORDRED!?

THAT little boy is Mordred!?

... Okay, I'm more inclined to believe the destiny dragon now

Still think letting him die would be a dick move

Episode Nine: Excalibur

What're you up to with that tomb Nimueh?

Oh! It's some kind of undead knight. Yes.

Throwing down the gauntlet. Pfft! Always thought that was a stupid idea.

Also: that Black Knight literally crashed your party!

Ugh, knights.

Nimueh if you can just teleport into the heart of Camelot while Uther is alone why don't you just stab him? Grab one of those pointy things he likes so much and stab him in the back. Easy peasy!

Stealing this joke but Don't do evil magic kids. It fries your brain cells.

Wait, the Black Knight is Uther's brother-in-law!?

Arthur's mother died in childbirth!?

Uther asked Nimueh to use her magic so he could have Arthur!?

Equivalent Exchange!?

Uther went on a genocidal rampage because he didn't bother with the instruction manual of ancient and powerful magic!?

Actually, that last one is not surprising at all.

I can't believe they're using the Wife in the Fridge trope. That appliance hasn't even been invented yet!

Ooh, Merlin's going to use his magic to destroy the Black Knight so Arthur doesn't have to fight him

As he's killed two knights already

Aaaaand, yup, he's still there. His cloak didn't even catch fire...

Arthur stop being a bastard. It doesn't suit you

Dragon forged sword! DRAGON FORGED SWORD!

Only Arthur can wield it. Yup, got it. How could this possibly go wrong?

Uther drugged Arthur and took his place in the fight... I have mixed feelings about this.

Wait, the dragon was very specific about only Arthur using that super special sword! Oh, snap.

Well at least the Black Knight is dead. Again.

Oh, dragon is not happy.

I know the dragon said "where no mortal soul could find it" but are you sure you wanna throw it into Avalon, Merlin?

Those people were gonna suck Arthur's soul out of his body

Episode Ten: The Moment of Truth

The way this episode title just lies to your face like that...

Oh, you're Merlin's mother! Thought we had an anime protagonists type thing going on

I... would like to say Uther is being unreasonable when he decides not to cross borders to get rid of some bandits. But I can totally see everyone hating him so that's a no go.

Lady, you were in a whole different kingdom. Why for the love of Merlin did you send him to Camelot!?

We're off to save the village! Morgana and Guin are coming too!

A wild Arthur appears!

Morgana better at swordplay than Arthur confirmed!

Merlin! I didn't know you had friends!

Granted he's a bit rough around the edges but

Okay. If it were literally anyone else besides Arthur. I'd say he was right about lords and knights being useless snobs.

Actually. He's right about lords and knights being useless snobs. Ah, that felt great.

Wow, the homosexual subtext is strong with this one.

The girls can tell Arthur came for Merlin.

But get your foot out of his face! I don't care how royal it is!

Look at Guin over here calling out Arthur for being a dick

And talking him into letting the women fight. She's on a roll

Aw, Merlin's friend died. :(

And he took credit for Merlin's tornado (so Arthur wouldn't find out about Merlin's magic)

Episode Eleven: The Labyrinth of Gedref

Lol, that unicorn could use a haircut.

No, Arthur. I said a haircut not an arrow to the chest!

Bad things? What kind of bad things Gaius?

Uther what's the point of having an expert in magical lore if you're not going to listen to him!

And all the crops are dead. Fantastic.

I know it's a magic thing but stating outright that the blight only targets edible plants is still really unsettling.

And the water's turned to sand. Great.

Who're you and how come Merlin is the only magic user that can't teleport?

What kind of tests mister Keeper of the Unicorns, sir?

Arthur I know you don't want to believe it's your fault... But it's totally your fault.

Uther no. People are starving.

You tell him Arthur.

Oh, the "theif" was a test!

Aaaaand he failed the second one. :(

Merlin's got a lot of faith in Arthur.

It's interesting how the Keeper can only direct the curse caused by the unicorn's death. Or rather the trials surrounding the curse, but can't break it himself.

Unicorns have some powerful magic.

The Labyrinth was barely on screen for five minutes! Surely something with Unicorn in the title would be more appropriate?

Arthur drinking a poisoned cup so Merlin could live?

That's some strong parallels right there.

The Keeper of the Unicorns is such a troll! Sleeping potion, hah!

The day is saved, Arthur lies to Uther's face about killing the Keeper and the unicorn resurrects itself.

Still needs a haircut though.

Episode Twelve: To Kill the King

Whatcha up to Guin's dad?

Oh that guy isn't suspicious at all.

You didn't think it was shady when he asked to meet in the middle of the night!?

Philosopher's Stone!?

Wow, the guards found him quickly.

What- No! Don't arrest Guin's dad!

Uther, he's a blacksmith! Stop being paranoid!

Will you stop executing people!? That inn keeper didn't know that guy was a dangerous sorcerer!

No, nononononono! He surrendered! Why did you do that!? Guin's father was important to Morgana!

That's why she gave him the key!

Dragon has his priorities straight.

Shut up, Merlin. You literally blew up a father and daughter for trying to kill one(1) person. (No really, you could see their hands flying off.)

Morgana deserves a little murder. As a treat.

Yes! Get him! Kill the bastard!

No! Why would you make GUIN say that!? Who are you and what have you done with Guin!?🔪🔪

UGH, he literally committed genocide!

The "that would make me as bad as he is" DOES NOT APPLY!

What- Oh, he still has the fairy's staff.

No. Stop it! Let Uther die!

Oh, God, Uther is such an abusive piece of GARBAGE!

Stop! Don't fall for it Morgana!

*sees dagger being pushed closer to Uther's "heart"* Yes! Yes! YES!

*Morgana saves him* NO!

NO!

NOOOOOO!

*inarticulate ranting in the background*

Episode Thirteen:

Okay, the cgi might be getting a little better 'cause the Questing Beast is freaky

Old religion? What is that? And how come it's conveniently absent from the previous episodes?

Dang, they really here just casually gaslighting Morgana like that 😡

Merlin you know Morgana has visions! You couldn't have been a little more careful? She warned you. Now look at Arthur, he's got the heroic death disease

Granted that thing does seem like a handful

Why do you only act like a father when it's a matter of life and death? Why can't you be a father literally any other time!?

"The old religion is the magic of the Earth itself."

Well that sounds fascinating, dragon. Are you going to elaborate? No? Later then?

Soooooo, is the old religion actually a religion or is it a magic? It's really unclear...

"You will be a better king than your father could ever hope to be." Guin, you're back!

I expected a place called the Isle of the Blessed to be less... creepy

Nimueh! Whatcha up to girl? Plotting the demise of a kingdom? Not today it seems

Oh there some Equivalent Exchange type nonsense going on is there?

Arthur you were supposed to be in a coma not listening to Guin!

Oh. Oh, no.

Merlin saying goodbye as he prepares to trade his life for his mother's is 😢😭

Wow, that dragon really knew Nimueh would give Merlin's mother the curse and didn't say anything. The little b*****!

No wonder Merlin's mad at him. Stop breathing fire at him! It's your own fault!

Gaius, no! Not the dead mentor trope!

"You stood by and watched as our friends died." Damn, Nimueh isn't pulling her punches.

Merlin vs Nimueh! Ready? Fight!

Anime protagonist power up! Dang, Nimueh's dead... I feel like that wasn't supposed to happen.

At least no one else is dying. Since Nimueh's death appeased the Equivalent Exchange laws of the old religion.

[ironxkid]

why don't you like endgame or civil war

((hoo buddy, idk what brought this up but salt under the cut!! Like... a lot of salt - specifically regarding Endgame lmao

I’m gonna start off with CACW because it’s a short response lol

I don’t like it simply because I was done with the infighting between the Avengers. The found family crumbs we were given in Endgame was something I really wanted to see, and them just... ripping them apart frustrated me lol

honestly, the movie was... fine? Idk, I found it to be a lil slow for my taste (it felt like it just dragged on when I watched it in theaters), and I just don’t care for it in general  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Also, ngl, I’m really bummed that Captain America: Serpent Society was a joke announcement because that sounds dope as hell and I really wanted to see that before I realized it’d been a joke dfgjhdsfhj

but, yeah, literally just because CACW is specifically an infighting movie annoys me to no end so I just won’t watch it again dgsfjhsfdhj

now, Endgame?

fuck Endgame

I. have a lot of issues with it, all of which are major grievances throughout the fandom. I’m pissed they killed Natasha and didn’t even bother giving her a fucking funeral because, I quote from Joe Russo, “Well, Tony does not have another movie. Tony is done. And Natasha has another film. And Marvel Universe obviously does not have to move forward linearly anymore. But that character still has more screen time coming.” (see here) and that annoys the hell out of me. She’s getting another movie - great! So you killed one of the few characters doing her fucking best to keep everything together at the compound, the one who was taking charge, give her a big role, and then murk her and... give her nothing but a brief mention at the end. Like... what the fuck? Natasha deserved so much better than what she was given. Tony’s funeral could’ve (and, frankly, should’ve) been a funeral for him, Natasha, and Vision because god forbid we see anyone mourn Vision other than Wanda

(actually this post covers how Endgame fucked over the MCU women perfectly, though Wanda’s not mentioned :c )

plus... Tony’s not done lol - he’s still a massive figure in the films/shows despite RDJ not acting in them, so his character has left shockwaves that aren’t dying any time soon. Natasha... basically disappeared, and I believe she would’ve been dropped completely if it wasn’t for the fact she does have a film coming out soon. Which, frankly, seems awesome and all, but it’s a film that goes back to post-CACW pre-IW and... frankly doesn’t give me any reason to understand why that means she didn’t get a funeral. She’s not coming back in future movies/shows that are in present MCU timeline - her movie is set in the past. She could’ve gotten a decent sendoff 

now, Clint’s arc as Ronin rubs me the wrong way. I know it’s a huge thing in the comics, and it’s not him taking a different mantle that I have an issue with. It’s the fact he, a white man, went around murdering people and got off scot-free. Yes, he was targeting genuinely bad people, but... to show that, they specifically singled out Mexican cartels and the yakuza (Japanese mafia, essentially) - so, in other words, the bad guys were people of color! I feel like I don’t need to explain how fucked up that is. And, to clarify, I love Clint! Clint is honestly one of my favorite characters, and the whole thing was just handled... poorly in the film

Tony’s arc genuinely hurts. This is a man who has suffered for years and has tried to make things right, and finally got a chance to settle down. He finally retired from the Avengers, finally settled down, and had a fucking life he could enjoy despite his ghosts, and yet... His arc ends with a message of “tortured soul finally gets rest by dying”. Because, y’know, it’s great seeing yet another long-suffering character only reaching peace through death, because god forbid they let characters heal! He could’ve still caused the second Snap, and he could’ve survived. He could’ve finally been able to step away for good and focus on his family, focus on recovering, and be truly happy. What’s so wrong with letting him stay alive so he can rest and be with his family? What’s so wrong with letting a long-suffering character finally find peace after one last bang? 

plus it pisses me off that they’re now using him as a reasoning as to why bad things are still happening. Why is this person the bad guy? Because Tony Stark somehow may or may not have done something that hurt them! Even though most of that really stems from Howard or Obadiah. Tony just ends up getting the blame in their place. He’s just an easy target to use, much like the tesseract seems to be the go-to answer for why things go wrong. But this is a different train of thought

Steve’s ending pisses me off just as much as the next person lmao. You take a character who has acknowledged he no longer belongs in the past (which, funnily enough, was written by the Russos), aaaaaaand have him go back to the past while ignoring two important people in his life that were still right there. He got Bucky and Sam back, and he leaves them. His arc is ruined within a matter of minutes, and it paints a hella bad picture of him in the process. He goes back in time to stay with Peggy (which ultimately destroys her own arc, and the fact she’s a person outside of her relationship (or lack thereof) with him because, y’know, why have her be able to move on and be her own person?), and we’re supposed to believe he’s fine with everything he knows from the future? Fine with knowing Bucky’s trapped with HYDRA and is suffering as the Winter Soldier? Fine with knowing HYDRA has infested SHIELD from day one? Fine with knowing Howard and Maria are going to die? Fine with royally fucking up the timelines? We’re supposed to believe he sat back and did nothing with all of that? They could’ve had him still hand the shield over to Sam - they could’ve let Steve stay an Avenger without the mantle

also the fact the Russos said he didn’t recognize Red Skull when he returned to Vormir to return the soul stone? Like... what the fuck?? Not to mention he literally returns the stone to Vormir, which “soul for a soul”, and they didn’t bring Nat back that way??

and now onto Thor. Thor... holy fuck is this hitting something personal for me. Thor was ridden with guilt - he was furious with himself, hated himself, and blamed himself for failing to stop the Snap. He fell into a massive depression, and... was promptly danced around as laughing stock. Like, “oh! look at Thor! he’s fat and drunk because he’s depressed haha!” - like fuck off. It’s not funny in any form. His suffering was made into a joke and it pisses me off because I suffer from depression. A lot of people suffer from depression. It’s not funny. It’s fucking terrifying at times. I wasted a shit ton of money on a stupid online sim game because it was a distraction - it gave me... god, I wouldn’t even say temporary happiness, but it gave me something to temporarily help, and I still hate myself for doing it. It was a poor decision on my part, and I wish I could change it. And, during that time, I was scared because I couldn’t see myself pulling out of it. I thought I was gonna feel that way forever. I called out of work multiple times because there were days I couldn’t stop crying (something I still feel horrible for doing), I couldn’t get myself to contact any of my friends for months, and it was all because the medication I was on at the time... stopped working. Thankfully, my depression doesn’t work in a way that makes me a danger to myself, so that wasn’t an issue, but it still fucking sucked. And to see a character that I could relate to on such a personal level treated as laughing stock fucking hurt. I’m not sharing this for sympathy - I’m sharing this because it Thor’s arc hit home and it’s literally the main reason why I will not watch Endgame again

this is more of a nitpick than anything else, but... I didn’t really care for Carol in it tbh? Which is unfortunately because Captain Marvel is one of my absolute favorite movies! And I’m well aware she was introduced in Endgame while CM was being drafted, but that in itself is annoying?? Because Carol was originally going to be introduced in AoU, but was cut because it wasn’t going to introduce her character properly. And yet they decide to introduce her character in a clusterfuck of a movie before her movie is in the final stages, and proceed to release her movie first and then give a complete different characterization in her following appearance

honestly I just wanna cover this now to clarify some things regarding Carter and her backstory: the only reason I keep Endgame as is is because it felt easier for me to do so for the purpose of bending canon for specific threads. I wanted to stay as true to the given plots as possible to help with fudging of both the movies and her background, and also because I didn’t want anyone to feel like I was trying to force my own headcanons onto them, y’know? 

I’m just gonna plug this here because fuck it lol, but I did start a fix-it fic regarding Endgame that you can read here! I... probably won’t finish it tbh, and I haven’t gone over it in a hot minute so it might be riddled with errors ahah - plus I’m not sure about how I wrote the characters! I get nervous when writing canon characters because I feel like I’ll miss their characterization completely, which is actually why I,,, rarely rp canon characters dgfjhgsfdhj

also the image in the doc was created by @/archervale!! 

[2-player-game]

Can I please request a Leon x Blind!Reader from Haikyuu

Thank you for requesting btw! I haven't written for Leon, but he seems like an interesting character to write for, I haven't seen season 4 btw so idk if there are anymore Leon's but I hope I got it right, he's a rather underrated character so I wasn't expecting any requests for him. Feel free to request whatever you like any time.

Being blind was never something you enjoyed. Though you envied people who could see the world in it's true colors, you found other ways to enjoy the area around you. Listening to music was always something you enjoyed, it didn't require anything but working ears to enjoy it. Music conveyed so much emotion and imagination without anything being visible.

Now, even though you enjoyed music, you couldn't listen to it while moving. It sucked but you could only rely on your hearing to indicate your surroundings, though your friends gladly guided you around the school. You've gotten used to Shiratorizawa even though the school is so huge.

"Hey Y/N! Wanna come with me to deliver some papers to the coach?" Goshiki asked, he was one of the few that didnt baby you for your disability. He understood that you could handle yourself and didn't need much help.

It was the end of the day, so most people were gone, Goshiki needed to go to practice and deliver those papers and you often stayed with him through practice to support him. Rather than watching the team practice, you conversed with the coaches, managers, and listened to music. A lot of the time they'd explain what was happening in the matches. "Ah! Yeah, Tsutsomu-kun. We can deliver the papers and I'll stay till after practice." You said with a soft smile.

Volleyball sounded fun in theory, the cheering of people as you pass a ball around, each school having a special cheer for their team. It would be great to watch, well you technically could kind of watch it. You could vaguely see things if they were bright, and you have a very bright imagination!

You and Goshiki walked through the halls, heading to the gym. Goshiki was very passionately talking about how great of an ace he would be, you giggled as you listened to his speech. The two of you soon arrive handing the papers to the coach. Just as they started you remembered you had forgot your headphones in your classroom, you stand up and start heading to the classroom.

After walking for quite sometime you realized you must have taken a wrong turn or something because you felt like you were in a new atmosphere, bumping into walls you don't remember being there before. Sometime soon, you hear the echoes of shoes squeaking and balls being hit, did you make it back to the gym again? God this school was too big for you to handle, you sigh, about to walk back into the gym defeated before you clash into a larger figure.

You fall to the ground, bowing your head down "I'm so so sorry! I um I didn't see you and-" you're frantic apologizes were stopped by a now crouching figure placing a hand on your shoulder.

"It's alright, you didn't cause me any harm. You're Tsutsomus friend, Y/n. Am I right? I'm Leon Ohira, you might know, me I'm no star of the team though." He let's out a calming chuckle before continuing "You're not hurt, are you? If you are I'll gladly take you to the nurse." He says. Hearing him speak is so calming, putting your once frantic mind to ease with just his words.

You smile, it was weird, you couldn't see others smile, but you decided to share yours with the world. "Oh, no I'm not hurt at all. I just can't get my headphones, this school is.. pretty intimidating and I can't find my classroom where I left them." You let out a pitiful chuckle. It sounded stupid to anyone who wasn't aware of how much you needed your headphones, but to you they were what kept you sane.

Leon blushed a little, rubbing the back of his neck and looking at you. "You can't see, right? I can imagine how scary this school must be." He sat silent for a couple seconds. "I'll be your eyes for a while when you don't have anyone else. I'll guide you to your classroom." He smiles softly before grabbing your hand and pulling you up to a standing position.

"Thank you, Reon. I'm in uhm class 1-b. I hope you know where that is, I don't want to take a way most of your practice." You said, you felt awfully nervous around him for some reason. He made you feel at peace, your other friends were nice and all, but none of them were as calm and caring as Leon.

Leon laughed under his breath, looking at you, "I know where that it. If you're okay with it, grab my hand, I'll guide you." He stated, you grabbed a hold of his hand, your fingers didn't interlock or anything, but him guiding you could've been resolved by grabbing his arm or his shirt. Something compelled you to grab his hand though.

As he led you through the halls, it was awfully silent. You could tell he wanted to say something, which you were correct, but no one was saying anything. It was very quiet before he spoke up, "you know, you're really gorgeous" he said, which was a shocker to you.

"Do.. you really think so? I mean, I have an idea what I look like, but I'm sure I'm not that pretty. I'm sure you look nice though!" You said with a soft smile as he laughed softly.

"We're here, your headphones are on your desk I think." He said, opening the door, allowing you to grab your headphones. You sighed in relief, thanking him.

After you left the classroom, you pretty much knew the way back, but nearly at the same time, the two of you reached for eachothers hands, instinctively holding them. Maybe you should hang out with Leon more often.

[nighttimesoup]

ok so actually steven universe wasn’t that disappointing for me. i mean i’d have rather they not made pink diamond rose quartz, i liked that rose had killed pink diamond and was a rebellious gem who broke away from the diamonds oppression. but i also dont hate the faking your own death part THAT much 

i wish more had happened with the cluster (i honestly thought that it was going to be another diamond hatching from earth, because i loved the theory that pink diamond is what caused that huge hole in russia by her emergence. i also wish she hadnt been so small.) 

but ok steven universe was fine for me i liked the characters i liked their designs, i wasnt bugged by a whole lot. in fact it was totally refreshing to see a cute little male character who was so “girly” and i loved that he lived with the gems it was fun 

but SU future was like 

lets focus on stevens feelings 

which ok, i understand that focusing on trauma is a good thing. like i know that humans are fragile creatures and i honestly do appreciate that SU future acknowledged that hey it would be pretty fucked up if all that stuff happened 

but like....... i just hate the vibes of focusing on steven over all the wonderful female characters you know. like oh he’s been hurt by all these people which is very much true, but i feel like it really plays into the narrative of queer women of color causing pain to this white guy, who we’ve only seen in love with a girl his age so i think its safe to say he’s interpreted by the audience largely as straight. 

like ... idk it just rubs me the wrong way that he gets to have this big trauma moment where he reaches this breaking point and everyone has to apologize and be like ‘its my fault’ 

idk i would have liked it more if he were a girl because i feel like girls are rarely allowed to express their emotions in such a way in media, and su future only happened that way because steven is a guy. tons of magical girl shows have similar premises but the girls smile all the way through and never get their moments to be sensitive and even have moments where they break and need help 

again, i think the writers really captured what it feels like to have a mental breakdown. it sucks and your family freaks out and its super uncomfortable... but like... when i was watching that i really felt like male feelings were being prioritized over everyone else’s 

idk. this is just my opinion tho and obviouslyy i like the show bc i watched all of it so. anyways 

[imacrowcawcaw]

Eyes of Juniper Ch. 1 (A Metallica Fic)

Ao3 Link

Author (as known on Various sites): Lady Lover- Rockfic, Luluthechoosingcrow - AO3, theladylovingcrow - Deviantart and Wattpad, @sammy_bluebells - Instagram, @imacrowcawcaw - main Tumblr, @insannywestan - Sanny shipping Tumblr Pairing: Lars Ulrich/James Hetfield, Kirk Hammett/Cliff Burton, Lars/Female Character (briefly), Lars/Male Character (kinda, more just awkward one sided flirting then Lars gets rescued by his knight in a ratty Motorhead shirt) Fandom: Metallica Tags/warnings: Sex-swap AU, early 80s era 'tallica, smut, gay smut, also het smut since the whole gender switch thing, drinking and alcohol, lots of cussing and profanity, should warn that Lars goes into detail about taking a piss cuz ya know it's new to him, Idk I'll add tags per chapter as I think of shit

Notes: 

1. Okay, so I spent like months thinking about whether to do this or not. On the one hand, yes this has so much potential to be fun (and I've seen some other sex swap stories i like). On the other hand, a lot of the whole sex/Gender swap thing is really stereotypical gender shit and goes against what I personally believe. But, creative juices won out and I'll try to keep true to character as much as possible while also making this funny and not too misogynistic (if that's possible).

2. This is a work in progress! I started it a year and a half ago, and now a friend is helping me continue 

3. This story is inspired by the song 'Jewel of the Summertime' by Audioslave (on their album Revelations) I love this song and it is awesome you should totally go listen to it.

4. The witch-lady is inspired by Aine, Celtic goddess of love, summer, wealth, and sovereignty. I literally just googled 'goddess of love' then scrolled through a list to find someone other than Aphrodite (don't get me wrong I love Greek mythology but it just wasn't right for this fic) and came across this girl. I only did a quick Wikipedia read, I'm not planning on going too heavy into her myth and more just using her for the plot but.... If anybody is more well versed in Celtic mythology and I seem to get something wrong, please feel free to comment and I'll try my best to make it accurate!

5. Woo damn that was a lot of stuff, I don't blame you if you didn't bother reading it. Now, on with the show!

----------

1984 (Lars' POV)

The first thing I felt when I woke up was this odd sense of.... well, just something being fuckin' off. Like I was missing something, but also like I had gained something? I felt like a brand-new person, although in my gut I was still me.... Man, I must have had WAY too much Jager last night, it's fucking with my head.

I slowly peeled the itchy fleece blanket off of my body and rolled onto the floor, which was about a foot from the bare mattress. We really needed to invest in some sheets, especially if we wanted to keep bringing chicks back to the house. Apparently, most girls are not at all impressed by stained, lumpy mattresses with almost no bedding on them.

Speaking of girls and mattresses, didn't I bring one home last night? I raised my head slightly from its position from the threadbare carpet and looked at the bed, trying to see if Anna (Was that her name?) was still there. Yep, there was a naked hippy still passed out in my bed, sweet!

I groaned quietly as I stood and shuffled my way out the door and down the hall to the bathroom. It was then I noticed that I didn't really have the usual alcohol-and-early-morning-and-piss induced erection, but my bladder was still straining. Huh, weird.

Whatever. I just wanted to pee, get rid of that feeling in my gut, and get that dead possum taste out of my mouth. Pushing open the door and wincing as the creaky hinges screeched through my headache, I pulled down my boxers and reached for my dick.... What the fuck?

WHAT THE FUCK?

WHERE WAS MY MOTHERFUCKIN DICK?!

Trying not to panic, I looked down, squeezing my eyes shut for a moment so I wouldn't have to see right away. But, of course, that kind of defeated the purpose of looking down, so I opened them again. No dick. The hell was going on?

Taking a deep, calming breath, I tried to think through this rationally. My dick, for whatever reason, was not where it was supposed to be. But, my bladder was still full and begging to be released, so obviously my system or whatever was still working. That need to pee was turning into a burning pain, so I tried to come up with a solution. If I don't have a cock, then I can piss through....what, exactly? Is there anything down there at all? What is even going on!?

Pulling in another deep breath through my nose, I let it hiss out between clenched teeth as I slowly, so slowly, touched my fingers to my abdomen and moved them downwards, dreading what I would find. Annnnnd....... Yep, there it was.

Velvety soft lips, slick, pungent juices; anatomy I knew so well but never, EVER expected to feel on myself. My crisis would have to wait a minute, though, 'cause my bladder was going to explode and no dick be damned I needed to do something about it.

Gingerly sitting my ass down on the toilet (god, so weird sitting down just to piss) I tried to slowly let it out. The feeling was...well there was certainly relief of the pressure, but it also felt strange in a way I couldn't really describe. I could possibly get used to it, not that I'm planning on staying like this or anything.

Cringing as I wiped, I slowly pulled the boxers back up to my hips that I just now noticed were a little wider than usual. And my hands, were they smaller? Softer? My chest too....HOLY SHIT I HAVE BOOBS! That, I might be able to get used to.

I turned to the mirror, and was quite shocked at what I saw. There was a girl standing there, with large, doe-like green eyes staring back at me from underneath brown bangs. She had a nice tan on her upper body, although her breasts were still pale where she clutched at them, small rosy nipples poking through her fingers. A pair of black cotton boxers stretched tight around the small curve of her hips, but hung loose around her milky thighs that almost touched. And this...this chick was me. ME.

Shaking my head, I splashed some water onto my face and rubbed my eyes, hoping it was just a fucked up dream. No such luck.

I was considering hiding in the bathroom forever, because no way in hell could I let the guys see me like this, let alone figure out how to explain, when I heard a scream. It sounded a lot like Kirk's voice, so I pushed my problems to the back of my head and ran into the hallway, stopping dead in my tracks at what I saw.

Anna, or whatever her name was, stood at the top of the stairs, dressed in flowing black robes with green Celtic designs all over them. She had jewels and charms hanging from her waist, wrists, neck, and ears, each tinkling as she tossed some sort of... Powder onto a very shocked looking Kirk. Or at least, I was pretty sure it was Kirk. He (she?) seemed to be in the same boat as me as far as bodies were concerned at the moment.

With a final dusting of powder, witchy-chick turned to me and smirked. "I hope you learn your lesson, I'll be back in a week. And as for you...." She turned to Kirk, "Well, you're just too damn cute! I couldn't resist seeing what a pretty girl you'd make!"

"This is your fault? You bitch! " I yelled. "Why the hell did you do this to us? Who are you? Change us back, then get the fuck out! I don't wanna be a damn girl, and neither does Kirk!" God this was fucking insane, that chick was crazy!

She hissed at me, eyes flashing in a way that could not be human. "Now you listen, GIRL. You'll stay like this for as long as I deem fit. You need to learn some respect for women, and being one is the best way to do that. I suppose you don't remember what you did last night?" She asked, looking bored and ready lo go fuck up someone else's life.

I thought hard, then it came creeping back to me. The bar, the Jager, the flirting with a group of girls, copping a feel and getting slapped, then her changing her mind and coming home with me, talking dirty in her ear, then unworldly sex, her whispering what sounded like a spell in my ear as I came... Holy shit.

"Is this about me grabbing your ass? I'm sorry! Please don't do this!" I begged, finally starting to let the situation sink in and desperation set. This could not be happening.

"Hmph," she snorted, "Begging isn't going to get you anywhere. I've seen humans beg for much less, and they still didn't get it. No, you'll love your life as a woman for a week, both of you, and hopefully you'll come to realize the struggles and terror that comes with it. If you've learned your lessons and are truly sorry, then you will be turned back. If not... Well you'll just have to stay like this until you do."

And just like that, she turned with a flourish and disappeared into thin air. My morning could not get any crazier, I was sure if it. But, because I wasn't actually sure and was suddenly doubting all logical occurrences in the world, I knocked on the wooden railing. That done, I turned towards Kirk.

He (seriously, do I call us he's or she's now? This is so fucked up) was shaking like a leaf, looking like he'd fall over any moment. I went over to grab him, calm him down, something.

"Shh shh, it's all right, Kirk," I muttered in his ear, awkwardly patting his back. I never thought I'd need to, but it really fucking sucks I can't comfort him any better than this. It was like this sour feeling in my chest that nestled in right next to my heart, whispering how awful I was at this and how he's probably mad at me for getting him into this situation.

Before I could ask him if he wanted to punt me out of a window, though, I heard some shuffling and talking coming from downstairs. James and Cliff were headed up here. As much as I wanted to hide for a week until my fuckin' "lesson" was up, I couldn't exactly drag Kirk into the hall closet in his current state, so I stood my ground.

"Hey, ladies, we do appreciate the service you've done our ugly ass friends, but could you keep the cat fight down until you've left the house?"

Ah, James, the man still didn't know how to talk to women after all this time. He was either too shy to form a sentence, or he put on this macho bravado that turned him into a drink asshole. Either way, this lady was not pleased.

By now I guess the guys had reached the landing Kirk and I were at and saw me hugging him, because Cliff chimed in, "Aww, they've made up! Good! Now, can I ask what exactly you two were telling about so loudly that it woke me and my boy James up? Did Lars do something?"

My back straightened at that, and I turned my head to him indignantly. "I did fucking not!" I retorted, even though apparently this whole situation was my fault. No need for them to know that, though.

"Holy shit, Lars!?!" James screamed.

I sighed. "Hi, Jamie."

----------

Chapter 2

[vonlipvig]

Ok, time for my thoughts on The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, now that I’ve finished it! This is probably gonna be long, probably gonna be incoherent, so under a read more it goes!

Alright, overall? I had fun! I really enjoyed the book! I mean, I love the Hunger Games, I love the universe, and I’m always gonna be excited for more content, whatever it is. But I really did enjoy the book! It was interesting, engaging, and ok maybe it had it’s ups and downs, but it was a fun read, and it gives me a lot to think and talk about, so I consider that a win in my book.

I also didn’t have any expectations going into it, so I guess that helped, too. I honestly only found out this book was out by chance while I was reading the HG wiki (and kinda spoiled myself about the rebel bombing, I was like yo did I miss this in the books or movies, whaaa?), so I really didn’t have all that time to get my hopes up or anything. Do I want a Haymitch book? Yeah, for sure. But I think the idea of focusing on Snow was pretty interesting. I love a good villain backstory, getting to see the journey and the evolution (de-evolution?) of that character, seeing them slowly transform themselves into the version we all know and hate. So when I found out the book was out, I was sold!

Story

Going plot-wise, or story-wise first, I think the first two parts of the book were fun overall. It’s pretty cool we get to see a Capitol perspective, which we’ve never really had before (and to see the aftermath of the war, even there, that was pretty interesting). The whole school thing was cute, and felt kinda like, IDK, anime-ish, or something? Does that even make sense? But yeah, it was fun spotting all the ancestors of characters we know, it was cool to see the shaping of the Hunger Games we saw in the future, and although the stakes were high for Coriolanus, I felt it was more chill than the trilogy (I mean, duh, Katniss was fighting for her life). Not that it wasn’t exciting, cause it was--and a lot!--but it was a lot more relaxed, I think.

The Games itself were super fun, as always. The third part was unexpected, and it did slow the story a lot, I felt, though I guess it makes sense. It...did confuse me a bit, at times, like I felt I didn’t exactly know what Coriolanus was gonna do or think--Is that a flaw of the story? Or is it because he himself is conflicted and even lying to himself? I’ll leave it up to you--, but some all the things I thought were gonna happen happened, and I really enjoyed the ending.

Characters

This being Snow’s book, I definitely knew most of the characters were just gonna be pieces that make up his story. I also had the feeling that not many were gonna have a happy ending, and yEAH yeah I was right! While I wish that some had had a lot more depth and autonomy cough LUCY GRAY cough, this was Snow’s story, so it was what it was.

So, Coriolanus Snow, huh? For a while there, as I said, I really wasn’t sure where they were gonna take his character, and it really confused me. We know President Snow, and all the time we’re waiting for him to make the choices that man would make. Sometimes he does, then sometimes he doesn’t...and then comes around to it. Either it’s pretty “realistic”, or kinda confusingly written, but I wasn’t that disappointed, I’ll tell you this.

Regarding him being in love, I actually don’t think he was ever in love at all. Not that he didn’t believe he was, that’s the important part. In this book we see his inner thoughts, we see what he thinks about Lucy Gray, and I HOPE TO GOD that was never meant to be romantic, because it really, really wasn’t! It was possessive, and controlling, and isn’t that what Dr. Gaul taught him, after all? During the Games, as he thought to himself that wow, I really need Lucy Gray to win...because I care about her? Hmm, no, actually no, you’re after the prize. You’re telling yourself that you care about her, but I don’t think you do at all. It’s very cruel but also what I expected from him, so I did like that.

I got confused at first when he actually agreed to go away with Lucy Gray, but if we take into account that he really thought he was going to get hanged for treason, then I can see how he’d do that. That ending with both of them in the forest, turning into the Hunger Games in the blink of an eye, THAT was really exciting and intense. Him screaming Lucy Gray’s name while firing blindly, and being surrounded by the mockingjays...yeah, I needed that shit. That’s the good stuff.

His “friendship” with Sejanus...Oh, Sejanus. Oh, poor Sejanus. I get to have one of these per book, and Sejanus is BABY and I love him. Ok, with that out of the way, goddamn I knew this was gonna end this way and it still hurt.

Something that I thought was a bit silly, was that Coriolanus didn’t...consider that by recording Sejanus they’d...surely kill him? Like, that’s the first thing I thought of? But he was like OH THEY’D PUT HIM IN PRISON...dude, no. I think it could have been cool for him to at least think he’s ok with sending Sejanus to his death, and yeah maybe when he’s at the hanging have a bit of remorse or terror as the jabberjays echo Sejanus’ last words, but yeah, Idk. I still loved that we got that tragic ending. I was convinced it was gonna happen, and I’m happy it happened. Well, not happy, it’s gonna haunt me, but you get the feeling. 

As for other characters, I don’t know what to think about Dr. Gaul, tbh? She was weird, the whole applying Hobbesian philosophy to the HG was...like, I get it, but also...? IDK, it was confusing and strange and I’m not entirely sure that worked as an explanation (I don’t think you can put much of an explanation, really), but whatever. I did like Dean Highbottom in the end, I kinda digged him character and the way Coriolanus’ father betrayed him, it was pretty cool. Also, am I the only one who thought he had a one-sided crush on Coryo’s father? And Sejanus with Coryo, as well? I meAAAAN, how well would that work thematically, hmm!

Aaaaaand then, we have Lucy Gray. I...have some things to say about Lucy Gray. First is that I love her a lot and god, how I wish things could have been different. I loved her spirit, and her vulnerability, and her charm and wit and instinct to survive. But...god, Idk, I just think they really tied her to the male characters, and that kinda bothers me. Like, she needs Billy Taupe or she needs Coryo and Idk! They should have let her be more independent! That irked me a bit, not gonna lie. Obviously, as I said, this is still Coriolanus’ story, but it just rubbed me the wrong way. 

At first I thought, I don’t know, maybe when Coryo shows up in 12 she doesn’t actually want to see him, which makes him angry or jealous? I don’t have a problem with her being kinda in love (I mean, she went through a really traumatic experience, it’s understandable that she’d latch onto Coryo), but Idk, I felt a bit disappointed. 

I did love the ending, I’m afraid. It sucks, of course, but if he was to go on to become President Snow, then that was the only way it could have ended between them. I felt such rage when Coriolanus started sympathizing with Billy Taupe, when he knew he had to kill her. What a betrayal, although I always knew it was gonna be like that! It was so tragic, and I feel so sad for her. I’m glad her music lives on, and that in the end, she had her revenge.

And now, for the ONE THING I TRULY DON’T GET...WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WITH TIGRIS!? I felt so cheated by that! They introduce her as Coryo’s cousin in the first chapter and you go OH SHIT SOMETHING BAD’S GONNA HAPPEN BETWEEN THEM...AND THEN NOTHING. Like, at the end of the story she hasn’t been betrayed! I mean, maybe it was a case of ooh you can iamgine what happened! maybe she found out about him betraying Sejanus or killing/wounding Lucy Graaaay, but like c’mon. They really baited me with that one, and it sucks.

So...I think that’s it! I had a lot of fun!

[fromzerotoeuphoria]

me watching Free!

a journaling of my thoughts & reactions while watching the anime Free!

✧ ✧ ✧

(reposted from old blog, July 22, 2020)

7/14/20, 4:21 AM

Okayyyy. So, I saw this anime on a list of anime similar to Haikyuu!! and then I also started seeing people referencing it in different comments/posts online regarding Haikyuu!! and other sports anime. I kinda wanna check it out, of course not going into it really comparing it to Haikyuu!! I’ll try not to…I’d want to give it a fair shot. I may watch the first ep, may not. I’m really tired and I have to go out tomorrow and my eyes are killing me (plus I still need to catch up with Ahiru No Sora and Full Metal Alchemist and a whole lot of other anime).

✧

7/14/20, 11:32PM

So last night I ended up watching eps 1-3 and honestly, I’m enjoying the anime so far. I haven’t really connected with any of the characters yet, but overall I’m enjoying myself (I think because I’m too hung up on my Karasuno boys right now, ah well). Also, a plus: the main girl isn’t annoying, lol. I actually like her a lot, which isn’t common for me and anime girls. But Gou/Kou? isn’t a trope-filled anime girl, she’s not overly shy or timid  or clumsy or any of those annoying traits that are supposed to somehow be “endearing”. She’s a normal, relatable girl (and dang she’s gorgeous too!)

Also, I really like how the antagonist Rin was a super good friend to the main gang in the past: he was the upbeat, positive kid and a good sport who charmed everyone and pushed Haru to swim in a relay with him when they were kids. But his personality has taken a HUGE turn, and at first it rubbed me the wrong way because the 180 didn’t make sense. Then it was explained a little (some trouble when he moved to Australia?) and it actually is understandable:

Rin’s dream is to be an Olympic swimmer, and Haru is just naturally super gifted at swimming. When Rin came for a visit from his special swimming school in Australia during middle school, it killed him that despite all that time devoted to training, he still couldn’t beat Haru. And that caused the rift between the two friend and caused Haru to quit competitive swimming because he thought he hurt Rin—it also  caused a change in Rin’s attitude. I like this backstory, it makes the dynamic between the protagonist and antagonist much more interesting.

Anyways, I actually want to watch a few more eps now (even tho I’m exhausted) as a kind of “feel good” wind down. Idk if I’m gonna get into this anime as much as I did Haikyuu, and maybe not even as much as I am into ANS or Fire Force, but we’ll see. The other sports anime have a large cast which gives you many options and opportunities to fall in love with characters, but Free! only has like 4 guys on their swim team…and one of them is a lil annoying :P So, we’ll see, it may just be a “wind down” anime that i don’t get emotionally /mentally invested in but still enjoy. Or i could become totally bored with it, or i could fall head over heels for these characters like I did with Haikyuu. Probs not the latter, if there was that possibility I think there’d be a lot more people in love with this anime and these characters than what I’ve seen so far on the internet. But again, we’ll see.

✧

7/15/20 6:10AM

Umm okay YEAH WOW THAT LAST EPISODE WAS BEAUTIFUL OMG. Yeah I know, I know, I haven’t been journaling but I just decided to keep watching episode after episode and I got SO sucked into the relationship between Rin and Haru (as well as Rin and Mako/Nagisa) and UGH I LOVE THEIR BROMANCE and ELEMENTARY SCHOOL RIN IS LITERALLY BEST BOY.

Like honestly, the drama of the fractured friendship between Rin and the others—but especially Haru—was one of the main things that drove me to keep watching ep after ep until i finally was like, “Eh, might a well just watch ’til ep 12.” I was feeling all kinds of emotions lol, like being MAJORLY PISSED at Rei in ep 11 for butting into the guys’ history (but it’s ok he’s forgiven after letting Rin swim in his place in ep 12) to completely losing my mind when Haru and Rin reconciled. Anyways, yeahhhh soooooo I care about these boys now XD Not as much as I do Karasuno or anything like that, but I do feel things for Rin x Haru primarily, and then Makoto. I’m interested in seeing how the next season goes now that Rin is friends with the boys again. ~ EDIT 12:14PM – Okay earlier I was very exhausted (I literally binged-watched freakin NINE episodes, omg) and wasn’t as coherent as usual, so I didn’t really capture all my thoughts and feelings. I’m still rather tired, but I did want to say that I TOTALLY had a Rin-Haru-ship moment in the last episode: the entire time I’ve been absolutely adoring Rin’s friendship with the boys in elementary school; he was the shining star in their friendship. I wanted that again for the guys because elementary-school Rin was so wonderful, and he was a perfect foil to Haru’s personality. I absolutely loved how quiet, aloof Haru stubbornly tried to be disinterested in Rin but couldn’t stay away because Rin was so dynamic and charismatic (I mean, when Haru found out Rin ran home after swim practice, Haru determinedly started doing the same). Rin drove Haru, though Haru didn’t realize until after the relay race. And in return, years later in high school when the two raced at Rin’s new school that night, it was Haru who unknowingly made Rin rediscover his love for swimming after he had quit all those years ago (omg I really do love this anime TT_TT).

So throughout the episodes there’s all this underlying care that Rin shows for not only Haru but also Makoto as well, and vice versa. It was intriguing and magnetic and made me totally invested in seeing these guys reconcile. So when Rin faltered in the 100m race because he was so distracted by the emotional turmoil he felt about not racing with Haru and the others in the relay race, I was SO FOR IT because I wanted to see him distressed about the other guys—that showed that he really cared so deeply about them that it threw off his game. And when Rin not only made last place but was visibly heaving and couldn’t pull himself out of the water, I was even more like “AHHHKLAJDKJASLKLSAD!!!” and then when Haru was so overcome with concern and immediately shot out of his seat to go find Rin without a word I WAS LIVINGGGG OMG and then on top of that when he heard Rin say that he had quit swimming in the past and should’ve stayed quit and Haru stood there in shock  and having war flashbacks to his and Rin’s falling out in middle school and Haru basically collapsed against a wall in devastation of losing Rin yet again and possibly forever EVERYONE I WAS SOARING AND LIVING AND UGH IT WAS JUST SHKLSKFSKSSKDKJF THAT WAS EVERYTHING!!!!!

And then Haru finally explicitly says that all he wanted was to swim with Rin again and ugh I’m just WOW that episode was EVERYTHING, like literally that episode alone bumped this anime up so many levels for me and now my investment is so much more piqued than it was before (and I was binging this thing). I mean, they hinted at Haru wanting to just swim with Rin again in an earlier episode when Rin beat Haru at freestyle and said, “Now I’ll never have to swim with you again” and Haru was visibly shaken up at those words. He literally told Makoto that his freakin world went black when Rin said that like…AKDJFKHAJSKJD??!?!?!

UGH I love Haru and Rin’s relationship so much 😩. If adult Rin is anything like elementary-school Rin still…I may have found my bias ;) I haven’t seen nice adult Rin yet so we’ll see in Season 2.

Anyways, yeah. SIGH. WOW. Episode 12 took me by surprise with the switch-up and I was LIVINGGGG for it. WOW. I am SO HAPPY it happened and that the four of them are friends again. I honestly couldn’t have imagined a better ending ^_^

[class-wom]

Legion Chapter 21 “Morning After”-Thoughts – SPOILERS!!!

   *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *

  SPOILER TERRITORY

   *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *

The more I think about this one, the more I’m wondering if we’re looking at two mutant masters of manipulation, both of whom have all the power in the world but neither the capacity nor desire to see the consequences of their actions, and the folks who lie somewhere in the middle of their carnage and are struggling to take sides and figure things out.  (Since Farouk has not only a few years on David but a few centuries, it’s only fair that I’m harder on him, as he should know better! 😏) Okay, fine, we have Syd declaring about David, “He thinks he’s the victim,” to which Farouk says something along the lines of, “Yeah, isn’t that always the way it goes?” and I couldn’t help but flash back to Chapter 11, where he’s presenting himself to David as a benevolent king of a relatively happy kingdom (or so he thinks, idk),  the misunderstood victim of David’s mean old daddy who just butted into a situation he didn’t understand. (Admittedly, after D3′s invasion of David’s commune in Chapter 20, this is taking on an entirely new meaning!)  On the subject of Chapter 11, David’s “Wait...after what you did to me when I was a baby, now I’m supposed to feel sorry for you?” is a note-worthy parallel to Syd’s “I’m supposed to see you as the victim after what you did to me?” in Chapter 21, and Syd is having as much trouble helping David understand and seeing himself as anything but a victim as David had trouble understanding and seeing Farouk as a victim.  So I thought Farouk’s response was, frankly, kind of rich under the circumstances; how can everyone expect David to see his own flaws when they fail to or refuse to see their own?  Sorry, but until further notice and/or revelations, I still stand by this.

That being said, once we finally get the lowdown of the Farouk/Xavier showdown, perhaps some perspective will finally be seen.  Gotta say that I’m looking forward to that.

Syd’s “We need to talk” to Farouk (usually that phrase has incredibly serious implications, both as used from David to Clark in Chapter 8 and Syd to David in Chapter 19) made me wonder if we may be looking at the potential Clark/Syd turn on Farouk down the line, or at least if she’s (rightly) suspicious over how easily David slipped through their fingers and/or Farouk’s potential involvement, since David tipped her off about her killing him twice.  Again, nice how Farouk pinned it all on Switch; he didn’t even hint at their astral plane interaction with Syd!  And the creepiness of that “I will teach you to lie...”-line -- 🤮  But depending on whether or not I’m right about the circumstances behind Syd’s potential “for real”-confrontation with David, I think there was some significant foreshadowing there in terms of how a successful trap will finally be sprung -- not the means by which it will be executed, but how she may ultimately get him within...oh, let’s just call it (MASSIVE SPOILER THEORY ALERT) “touching distance.”  We shall see... (END MASSIVE SPOILER THEORY ALERT)

Also, I’m wondering if a certain Chapter 15 exchange between Lenny and Syd, in which the former insisted to the latter than Farouk raped her (the now-infamous “You’re the song they sing in a hostage crisis”-classic delivered by Syd), is taking on a whole new meaning for Syd when she complains to Farouk about David’s “victim mentality,” especially when Farouk turns around and suggests to Syd that she should essentially play the Mata Hari with David and more or less seduce him into complacency rather than coming directly at him with guns blazing?  (Okay, fine -- I get her “Hell hath no fury”-mentality, and I get Farouk’s “Catch more flies with honey than vinegar”-approach, and while both points are taken, they are still hard pills to swallow as I struggle to keep up with all sides.)  I hate asking questions like this in the name of fairness, but I can’t really look at all of this and just blindly yell “Go, Syd! get him good!” the way NH seems to be implying that I should!  Yeah, David’s screwed up royally, and yeah, he’s going to potentially screw up even more royally, but the constant and convenient playing of Farouk and Syd’s responses to it aren’t much better imo, and I’m not so sure they can’t or won’t single-handedly destroy the world themselves at the rate they’re going!  Besides, with regards to Lenny’s accusations, it doesn’t make Farouk right by comparison, especially in the name of “age before beauty” and “with age comes wisdom” and all that jazz.

Good grief, all this Charlie Brown-music -- am I looking at the potential for more deletions from my iTunes account by the end of the season?!? hope not!!!

As far as I’m concerned, Clark is now officially a jerk...and I’m not using the word “jerk”!

I also think they missed a massive op to make a “flying Squirrel”-joke!  Or even a group (such as Lenny’s van gathering, for example) witnessing Squirrel’s landing and having a reaction something like this:

David vs. Cary:  I’m getting the impression that DS and BI really hit it off on the set!  Love the chemistry and quasi-comedic timing between Dan and Bill; this made Chapter 11 one of my favorite eps, and while the relationship of their characters by Chapter 21 is more than a little strained. that reparte is as present as ever when David abducts Cary.  (The Cary-lover in me thought this kind of sucked and tbh is still struggling a little, but then again, just wtf was D3 thinking leaving him unguarded in the car, along with his fancy and expensive equipment in a potentially dangerous area?!? what, they couldn’t have at least one lousy Vermillion keeping watch to alert him of any potential danger?!? just sayin’...)  David takes a moment to vent a little (imo understandable) venom about that S2 finale bait-and-switch that has made things -- and by “things,” I mean David! -- a lot worse.  Cary’s take on it --- “I saw it as more of an intervention!” -- was a nice touch, but somehow an “intervention” complete with armed soldiers and a “Surrender to treatment or die!”-ultimatum as “old brain-eating enemy” hovers about in full view to really rub salt in the wound seems a teensy bit heavy-handed imo.  It did then, it does now, and the only thing David has truly learned from that experience is to not only (cough) adopt that X-Files adage of “Trust No One” but to up the ante where invasive uses of telepathy and mind control are concerned, if you’ll allow me a second to conceal my “shock and horror” at such a response.  (Especially since part of the problem is that David’s sanity at the time was and is now highly questionable, and oh gee, what  else could possibly stabilize an unstable mutant, and how could this plan possibly go wrong?!?)   Wow, congrats, D3 -- your idea of “intervention” only made things a lot worse, and you’re about as good at squelching the potential end of the world as you are at safeguarding your most valuable assets!  And ironically, just as D3′s attempts at “preventing the end of the world” are only messing things up further and causing more friction, David’s attempts at “fixing things” may also prove more complications than improvements.  One would hope there’s an Occam’s Razor-esque solution to all of this, but right now, emotions and adrenaline seem to be running  way too high on all sides to really solve the numerous problems!

Also, loved Cary’s interaction with Switch at the end and that all-too-brief shot of David in glasses!  And I may be a little low on Syd at present, admittedly, but I did enjoy her “David...what did you do?” as kind of a sly wink at both Logan and Dark Phoenix, since “What did you do?” is uttered by Xavier in the former and aimed at Xavier in the latter.  So nice little “Like father, like son” Easter egg (”A delusion begins,” yadda yadda yadda) they managed to sneak in there.

Anyway, just a few thoughts...

[icantlose]

the dumbass loser that runs this bloggo

NAME:  Parli NICKNAME: Poopface Mcfuckerydoo I don’t know lmao FACECLAIM:  Lilo, because I identify a LOT with her character and story. But also nothing because I’m lame  PRONOUNS:  She/her, but idc what you call me HEIGHT:  5′0″. BIRTHDAY:  April 27th AESTHETIC:  90′s Grunge LAST  SONG  YOU  LISTENED  TO:  Spoon Man came on while I was driving this morning and it instantly put me in a better mood. FAVORITE  MUSE (S)  YOU’VE  WRITTEN:  Favorite? The Outsider. I like Wolf, too. But I’m really attached to The Outsider because I feel like I’m at my best when writing for him. I have to stretch my literary muscles writing for him. Whereas... Wolf? He’s kinda easy. Don’t get me wrong, I place effort in Wolf and I follow a very strict set of rules for this character, but compared to the other muse, Wolf’s just... not really fulfilling lmao

* GETTING  TO  KNOW  THE  ACCOUNT:

WHAT  INSPIRED  YOU  TO  TAKE  ON  THIS  MUSE: Two things: a whim, and also I kinda have A THING for THE VILLAINS. 

WHAT  ARE  YOUR  FAVORITE  ASPECTS  OF  YOUR  CURRENT  MUSE:  If we’re speaking about my particular characterization of this muse, then it’s definitely that:  his characterization. I’ve said this a billion zillion times, but I’m not really a fan of the edgy Wolf that we’ve been introduced to by Nintendo. It’s just boring, lazy writing that shows up in a lot of franchises. It’s that convenient obstacle that every hero has to face before reaching his end goal and it’s fucking boring. Don’t get me wrong, I love edgy characters (I main Reaper and defend Shadow the Hedgehog for fuck sake.) but the reality is, they’re all characters that play the same tune and it gets old hearing the same song over again.  I could write an essay about why I like Fred’s interpretation and why his Wolf sits with me as well as he does, but honestly, it’s just fresh. It’s a new take, and honestly, it’s a real take. There’s a bit of that edgy-srsness there: this Wolf holds a lot of pain and it usually manifests through humor and anger. This is, for lack of a better term, as human as you can get. Most people aren’t like Shadow the Hedgehog, most people don’t share how much pain they’re in when you speak to them. In fact, most people try to hide it from the general public; defense mechanisms like humor, sarcasm, ego and even anger are major shields that many use to protect themselves, and others, from how they’re really feeling. I mean, that edge is still there, I AM an edgelord after all. But at least there’s some depth to it lmao c’mon guys I never said I was Bill Shakespeare lawl lulz L0L roflz jkdglsdgjakljdskgldjdilgjekljasdio

WHAT’S  YOUR  BIGGEST  INSPIRATION  WHEN  IT  COMES  TO  WRITING:  Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuusic. Definitely music. But I also suck all the creative energy I possibly can from good old Coyoteboy and I’m sure he absolutely loves me for it. B) Being able to talk to him all day long about the stupid shit that crosses my mind is the most freeing thing and it helps a lot with writer’s block. Aside from abusing my friendships by forcing them into eternal servitude of listening to me ramble on about my muses at ungodly hours of the night, I’ve recently discovered a lot of where I get Wolf’s characterization from is a certain character in a movie I saw once. (You can guess but you’ll be wrong.)  So I guess you can add movies to the list...?

FAVORITE  TYPES  OF  THREADS: Stupid fucking dumb threads that don’t go anywhere because I’m a moron and can’t focus on anything that’s longer than a paragraph fuck me man. 

NO BUT, when I’m not being a shitfuck and avoiding my threads, you’ll usually find my threads are full of some sort of angst or drama. I do a lot of shippy fluffy stuff too. But tbh just casual stuff is probably what you’ll find the most out of this bloggo.

BIGGEST  STRUGGLE  IN  REGARDS  TO  YOUR  CURRENT  MUSE: Fucking actually doing my threads. I love this muse and I love the people in this fandom (which is why I’m always active with tiny one-liners) but for some stupid reason when I’m working on the actual threads, I put WAY too much pressure on myself. It’s not that I’ve lost interest, no, these ideas we’ve cooked up are tasty and if I could lick them I fucking would. It’s just, when I sit down, I’m unable to come up with anything that’s halfway decent for my rp partners to have to rub their eyeballs on. I put a lot of pressure on myself because I pride myself in my writing and I hate it when I’m not confident or unhappy with the piece of writing I’m passing on to you guys. I know how it is: when your partner gives you a weak response, it’s hard to build a solid foundation. Truth be told it causes a lot of self-esteem issues with me and I end up avoiding the thread even further. I promise, it’s not you, it’s me. This is a problem I’ve experienced across all my muses. Star Fox fandom and otherwise.

TAGGED BY: I'm a dirty stealer and I should be ashamed but somehow I’m NOT >:D

TAGGING: idk man you i guess

[dinahevans]

Triumphs part 1

Jake Gyllenhaal x OFC

Summary: Azelia is the basic stereotypical rich girl. She only wants to be involved with things with rich people and there businesses. But what happens when She gets impregnated by a down to earth celebrity Jake Gyllenhaal? Will she stay as her bitchy self our will she become a less self centred person?

Warning: Swearing and just a tiny bit of dirty talk.

Word count: 1.6k

A/N: First of I suck at summarizing stuff so there’s that. Another thing is I know some people feel a bit iffy about OC fics so I tried to keep the name calling to the minimum. I hope you guys enjoy this fic, it’s actually my first story on this site 🥰!!! Also side not my baby fever has SKYROCKETED. Idk what’s up with me. Also I take requests sooo hit me up🤙

“Ok repeat what you just told me but slower this time.” My best friend Delilah stated while sitting on my bed right beside me.

My voice was extremely shaky and I was on the verge of crying, so it’s understandable as to why Delilah can’t understand me. I’m a mess I couldn’t articulate any actually words everything I was saying sounded like Gibberish. Delilah handed me a tissue and patted my back telling me that things are going to be alright and she will always be there for me.

I took a deep breath and finally calmed myself down before saying defeatedly “I’m pregnant”

Delilah’s eyes grew wide. She had a lot of questions. This is something that she would never expect to happen to me, getting pregnant on accident. This is something she expected from her self. Delilah was always the wild one she always had different men in her bed each night and could survive 6 drinks of vodka before blacking out. Don’t get me wrong I could be just as wild, but typically this is the type of thing that would be expected from Delilah.

Ever since my mother and father split things have been very different. Despite the fact that they separated when my twin sister and I were 2. It still had a major effect on us both. My mother was a supermodel but after she gave birth to my sister and I she slowly stop taking gigs. She later got married to a Jewish Billionaire who raised us both as if we where is own. The problem came in with our father Robert Downey Jr. He didn’t like the fact that we were being raised with a lavish lifestyle and He didn’t want us to end up growing up being narcissistic and thinking we were better than anybody. He wanted us to be grounded and somewhat down to earth. Which causes issues between My mother and him. With my mother just wanting to give us what she couldn’t have as a child and my father thinking that spoiling kids isn’t the right way to earn there love. Sometimes There fight would get so bad that my mother wouldn’t let me see my father for months on end.

So spending most of my time with people like Delilah and some of my other rich friends have really took an effect on me. The idea of hanging out with commoners was somewhat weird. I had put the expectation on myself that I would also marry another rich man and we would have many children together who would be able to inherit our fortunes. So when my stepdad told me about a boy named Nathan I was extremely intrigued. My Step Dad told me about how his father is an very important figure in the investment businesses. My twin sister Amiliah says I should stop being materialistic and it doesn’t matter how much money my lover would have, it’s about how who they are as a person.

Sure she isn’t wrong but this world is ruthless and you need to be on the top if you want to survive. But now all of this is going down the drain after finding out what I had just found out.

“Who is the Father? Is it Nathan’s? OMG imagine a baby boy with your hair and Nathan’s eyes gosh that be sooo cute.” Delilah always got ahead of herself with just about anything but right now it felt like she was doing it too lighten the mood.

I sigh heavily I felt like a disappointment, and I hated it. “The baby isn’t Nathan’s… Nate and I haven’t sleep with each other yet, cause if we did I would have told you already.”

Delilah was getting annoyed with me at this point but she tried to keep cool.

“Okay then whose child are you pregnant with? Is it some commoners? Is that why you're too ashamed to tell me?” I gave her a weird look, she should know better than too think I would stoop down low. Despite the fact that Amiliah and I are Twins we don’t share the same ideology and thinking. Sleeping with a commoner is something that Amiliah would do.

“Oh gosh no lilah he’s and actor we’ve seen a few of his movies before, his name is Jake Gyllenhaal.” Delilah sighed in relief knowing that if I did get pregnant by a commoner it was cause a whole lotta trouble for me and my parents (mostly my stepdad).

“Have you told him yet?”

“No it was a one time thing I don’t even have his number so I wouldn’t be able even if I wanted too.”

Delilah looked at me for a few seconds before proceeding to say “And you're sure it’s his baby? And are you just basing this off of one pregnancy test or did you go to the doctors as well?”

“YES Lilah I’m sure it’s his baby he’s the last person I’d sleep with in a while. And YES I went to the doctors as well I’m not that dense.” I sighed this is not how I planned things to go yeah sure she Jake isn’t some commoner he is an A list celebrity but Jake isn’t no investor, he isn’t worth almost a billions dollars.

“Well we are going to need to talk to him he can’t be in the dark. Lucky for you I have his number based off of mutual friends, I mean we’ve never had any proper conversation but that’s aside the point.” Delilah Handed me over her phone, with jakes number on the screen.

“How fucking convenient of you to just so happen to have his phone number.” I mean that is strange. Out of all the things she just so happens to have my soon to be baby daddy’s phone number.

“You shouldn’t be surprised I literally have everyone’s phone number. Now call him and put the phone on speaker.”

“Alright”

As I was about to click on the call button I had a wave of anxiety rush up on my skin and I started to get slightly nervous but I let it all slip down and tried to gain somewhat of confidence. I hit the call buttons and waited

The phone soon answered

“Hey… Delilah why are you calling me this early in the morning? It’s like 3:27 am”

“Umm it’s Azealia I’m using Delilah’s phone to talk to you.” I sounded extremely nervous and I hated myself for it I wanted to play it cool but it didn’t seem to be working for me.

“Oh… umm… ok sorry but who exactly are you I don’t know an Azealia?”

“I’m the girl you slept with from the Bay Blue club about two months ago.” God this felt awkward

“Oh yeah I remember… ah yeah but what is it that you had to call me for.” He was slightly impatient probably due to the fact that he wanted to go back to bed since he had to get up early and discus the latest script he received. There were so many faults and errors it was almost embarrassing.

I took a huge deep breath and Delilah took her hand into mine. “Well I just called to tell you that I’m pregnant and the baby is yours.”

Oh dear lord all hell broke loose. Jake jumped out of his bed and started pacing around asking questions each millisecond.

“What do you mean your pregnant? I always use protection it can’t be.”

“How do you even know it’s mine? You better not be lying trying to get some sort of 5 minutes of fames.”

“Is this some kind of sick joke to you?You don’t just lie to people like that.”

“How do I even know your telling the truth?”

Jake has every right to be skeptic. I shouldn’t have been surprised too think that he wouldn’t believe me and think I was some sort of attention whore. But at last I was shocked and was taking back by his questions.

“You think I would lie about something like this? How low do you think I’d stoop? Why would I try and steal any of your money when I have millions in my bank account and my Father own a billion fucking dollar oil industry! I just thought I should have been a decent person and inform you on what I had found out but obviously you have a stick way too up your ass. Delilah look proud of me, she too did not like that he’d assume that you where some attention whore.

I went too hard on him I will admit it but in the moment I was extremely defensive.

“Ya well… I remember putting on a fucking condom so it must be some other guy you threw yourself too.” Jake didn’t really mean what he said but he wasn’t going to let his pride down.

Jake was getting on my nerves at this point but I wasn’t going to let him win this fight. “Oh yeah so you don’t remember telling me how you can’t wait to cum in my inside my pussy, and how you can’t wait to see me dripping in your juices? Or was that all a figment of my imagination?”

Jake felt defeated it does sound like something he would say but he just couldn’t believe it, I had to be lying to him… Jake was getting old he’s 37 years old not married and no children maybe there is something too this. Maybe if she isn’t lying to him he could try to find and make something out of this.

Jake sighed while rubbing his hands over his face.

“So how when’s the baby due?”

A/N: I wanted to keep the first chapter straight to the point and short just so people get the gyps of it. Also there will be a lot more characters (and drama) in the future.

[softgrungeprophet]

it’s that time again. time for me to be annoyed/frustrated at the comics that came in the 20-teens that simultaneously responded directly to the 2000s, followed in the 2000s’ continuation, but completely glossed over and ignored the very serious topics that were brought up. and then we get the fucking 2018 run which does NEITHER and just seeks to make it worse for shock value without being even remotely thoughtful about anything it does! wow.

we could have had some really interesting growth for eddie and the symbiote’s relationship by honestly addressing things like eddie’s illness, hypocrisy as anti-venom, his status as a victim of abuse, and so on...

of course i know if i say “eddie is a victim” people will get hissy but like.... i’m not saying he’s an innocent blameless baby who was manipulated into being the weirdo he is... i’m just saying... he’s a victim of abuse. he’s been taken advantage of a lot. almost any help he’s received has required some kind of reciprocation.

he’s a shithead and he went off the deep-end after new ways to die because remender’s version of eddie fucking sucks, he’s smug and weird and violent, and also he’s been neglected and tortured and abused and experimented on and he needs therapy and blah blah blah

he’s also not some fuckin accidental drunk driver who was hit into thinking he’s innocent. that’s so fucking--jeez. everything about these retcons donny has been doing miss the point even more than the comics he says he loves so much. it’s wild. like i don’t like new ways to die OR new ways to live, remender’s run was okay but i hated the way he wrote eddie, marvel knights spider-man just sucks in general, the hunger 03 also sucks, but like they do feed into each other in a way that.... sort of makes sense....

i just wish there was a way any of the comics would have said, “hey look there are some ways in which eddie is a victim but there are also some ways in which he needs to take responsibility for his actions”

but that kind of nuanced take is impossible for the way these comics are put out and canceled and retconned and so on forever.. it’s so ... ugh.....

the hunger 03 sucks... it also influenced over a decades’ worth of Venom comics including costa’s in its own weird way.... and i just wish we could simultaneously be like, Yes the symbiote is not inherently evil or corrupting but Also it did abuse Eddie, and Yes Eddie has been treated poorly for a great deal of his life and Also is a motherfucker who needs to be held responsible for his actions.

Is this hypocritical to be like, “can we address the 2000s” while also saying “2018 run is not valid”

in my defense even the shitty 2000s were like a continuity and didn’t try to fully retcon every single aspect of venom lore that ever existed (tho it sure did plenty of retconning....) whereas the current run... is doing exactly that....

of course this goddamn run will probably also influence the following comics unless the next writers retcon the retcons or like, ignore it and it gets put into its own earth or something. idk. like no one really counts dark origin right? and that works cause it also had a negligible influence on the rest of the comics. but like, the bad hunger had a very lasting impact on the comics. so i guess we just hope that donny cates, despite currently selling super well, does not actually influence any of the comics that come after?

i don’t fuckin know. i just think it kind of sucks that like “eddie was abused” is something that gets used as either a “lol no that never happened and if you talk about it you hate the symbiote” or else an excuse to demonize the symbiote even after its own character growth arcs in the apparently supremely unpopular gotg and space knight stuff... lol

maybe if every fucking series from 2013 to 2016 (minus costa which is honestly more 2017) didn’t get canned we could have gotten more. like honestly, 2016′s Carnage--for all its flaws--seemed like it had something to say about Eddie as a character, about his flaws and so on, and I gotta wonder where that was going. It flat out says “Venom didn’t make Eddie Brock a bastard” so like? But then at the same time all of the symbiotes in that series were completely silent so? I don’t even know.

Cullen Bunn was clearly going somewhere too but I have no idea where other than “symbiote is alive but has trouble communicating” and “eddie is coming down from his murder spree as he realizes flash thompson is in fact helping people as agent venom”

the two fit together in a very strangely complementary way. sometimes i gotta wonder about a universe in which those two comics in particular ran concurrently to address venom, flash, toxin, and eddie’s many issues. but toxin’s probably gone... though in my heart they are with jubulile and her mom in south africa, learning what it’s like to be part of a loving family...

man. the resigned “Okay.” at the end of twav...... twav good imo.

anyway

i don’t even know what the point of this is. i’m all over the place in this post. it’s frustrating that donny has made it kinda impossible to bring up eddie’s victimhood without like... qualifying it to the ends of the earth to clarify that you don’t think he’s some kind of pure cinnamon roll who’s been dreadfully manipulated for 12 years....

I feel like I’m not making any sense!!! Words are hard.

I feel like I’ve kinda been avoiding writing about the symbiote though in part because it’s hard for me to balance that many characters and in part because of Donny’s stupid bullshit, which is dumb as fuck but I guess that’s what he wanted huh!!!! Need to read Lethal Protector to cleanse my palate but it’s taking forever to get it from the library because they only have one copy.

ugh

The symbiote is not an evil creature like he wants everyone to think... goddammit.... but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t carefully address both its and Eddie’s mistakes without fabricating new different mistakes to obscure the previous ones. Or whatever. Fuckin I don’t know lol the entirety of the continuity is just a bunch of bullshit. 80s-90s continuity largely separate from 2000-20...15ish continuity largely separate AGAIN from the 2016 continuity yet also directly tied to it, against completely separated from the 2018 continuity which is off saying “fuck you” to literally every venom writer to ever exist since Eddie’s conception, ironically including the guy who wrote the cursed hunger

What am I trying to say! I don’t know! i feel like a broken record. There’s a lot of empty space between Agent Venom and 2016 that was never filled! also between 2016 and 2018 lmfao.

Donny “everything went wrong and I’m not going to explain how other than ‘God’ and ‘Eddie lost his job cause screaming symbiote’“ Cates really pullin some shit. what do you mean eddie tends to work toward solving his own problems EVEN WHILE DYING. waid’s mini-story in NWTD showed that eddie, despite being sad and sick and exhausted was still like.... eddie, stubbornly searching out his own solutions and getting angry. ofc i’m not sure how well it succeeded at parts. the comics in those days were still pretty steeped in the weird symbiote hallucinations that it was never clear if they were meant to be caused by the symbiote or just eddie’s sick brain. like the Last Temptation. I have a love-hate relationship with those two issues... I think they’re pretty well-done but also something about them just rubs me the wrong way. 

Anyway back to Cates: it’s not like there wasn’t space for a spiral after FH or anything. You could have really dug into Eddie and the symbiote’s insecurities wrt family and parenting. but nah. let’s just make it so there’s a SECRET CHILD, and oh the pre-established sibling? we could have dug into her and made her a real character. but no, she doesn’t exist, women are either fake or dead or violated.

asshole.

but again like..... the 03 hunger, cursed and bad... like... it’s still workable. you can work with the corrupting forces, the addiction metaphor (on the SYMBIOTE’S part, with adrenaline) and the intense codependency, and still have them move on and into a healthier-by-comparison relationship.

but cates’ run is like... much harder to recover from if it has as lasting of an effect, because it leaves no part untouched, and goes beyond “normal” abuse into really weird unforgiveable territory... like the canon of that comic is the canon in which everything has been completely changed into something unrecognizable.

i joke about my AUs being unrecognizable because, visually at least, they WOULD be unrecognizable for most Venom fans, but the comics inform them as characters a lot in the stories i write in those AUs, from the 96 good hunger, to the 03 bad hunger, to space knight to venom inc, and so on. But donny cates really is out here essentially reverse-engineering retcons to justify his characterizations.

barely related: the way eddie was raised and the way he coped by overachieving and so on and so forth makes me think he would have--despite presumably gaining a great deal of confidence in college once out of his father’s home--been really vulnerable to being taken advantage of by like, other students or teachers, but idk how exactly to articulate what i mean like... uh... not even that he WAS taken advantage of but that his need for validation would have left him open to it... i guess??

that’s got pretty much nothing to do with this post though but kinda ties into what i’ve said before about how i think eddie was a withdrawn and isolated adolescent who only opened up in college. why i disagree with donny’s retcon for that reason in addition to other reasons--the way he’d been shown to be bullied as a kid in previous comics, as well as the lack of history of alcoholism, the clarification in lethal protector that carl wasn’t physical, so on and so forth.

again that’s not related to this post really... and it’s like, a good 50% headcanon, but it makes sense in my head as something that fits his history?? i guess?

[lakenzie]

under the cut is a small rant about the joseph route in dream daddy, just kinda needed to vent about how i feel about in a lgbt community sense. does that make sense? prob not. 

so joseph reads 100% compulsory heterosexuality/closeted gay man, and yet in the end he will stay in his heterosexual marriage. in both endings that people have found. 

that just, rubs me the wrong way. 

but also the game makes his wife seem like the shitty person, but really when you play through more routes, you find out she isn't the problem and they both are just bad for each other and im just.....sgkjhdsg

 but people are either a) hating the wife and wanting to "save" the grown ass adult who also made bad decisions or

 b) basically believes he is a demon.

 like. every other good end route was nice, and a happy end to a lgbt romance that doesn't happen much right now in media. 

except his, and idk, as a lgbt dating sim, the fact that your character is basically played by a married man (in a heterosexual marriage) who also seems to really deny being open with his homosexual feelings, I feel would make a lot of people feel bad because that is a thing that happens in the community!! and it sucks!! they prob don’t want to play a game to make them happy, like dating fictional people, and end up having the same fucking issues slapped in their faces?

I’m not hating on the Dream Daddy team here, I loved this game. All the characters were interesting and diverse and the writing was funny and the art is lovely. 

I just feel like this route was kinda a miss, esp if these are his “good ends.”

(also fuck the whole data mined cult ending, i don’t like it and i don’t want to talk about it. I just hope it isn’t the “true” ending. rather not have a gay man be basically a demon, kinda ruins it for me tbh)

basically I just need to calm down. I probably played this game too much (I have done all the routes already) and need to take a break.I’m burnt out, but just really needed to rant about this??

which is funny cause like, Joseph isn’t even a close to fav character or dad to date, I just got annoyed at this. 

(in case anyone is wondering, damien is prob my fav with robert as a close second)

[spacecharr]

Black Rose Sesh Report V

i think it’s number five at least.

Here we go again:

fuck having a bum shoulder. again. seriously, fuck it. right in the asshole.

ok

the trip back wasn’t an odyssey so much as it was a revelation-filled romp.

also chillhop music makes me seriously so lyrical. it’s... it’s like I’m helpless, but I’m also scared that people might see me as a pretentious bitch or something, but I also recognize that maybe this is just my anxiety or some shit? 

thought looops, like frooot loops

oh yeah!

revalations

one: holy fuck I am so fucking bi.

there was this couple heading back -- WAITTTTT

how could I almost forget Oliver?!

ok

People I met on the romp back:

(wait tags)

(ok, back to here - but ow, fuck)

Eric, Lisa, and Oliver the Dog.

amazing neighbors who’ve lived in the area for a long ass time. also Oliver is cleverly named due to the location.

the black cat that I thought was a little girl twin of my handsome boy? nope! He’s an adorable little psychopath named Merlin! he loves people, is adorable, vocal, cuddly, his owners are this amazingly punk rock lady and this guy who could be like a secret badass punk nerd from accounting or something. And he’s a bit psycho ‘cause he does the whole “snuggle up to your leg to purr and cuddle you, ask for belly rubs, then will attack your hand”. My Zi doesn’t do that at all. He will give you maaaaaany warning bops with his back legs, no claws, before he begins to lazily warning bite you.

Alright, ok. 

Revelations.

one: I am so fucking bi.

there was this couple heading home from a run. both of them were HELLA FINE. I mean, of the two I’d prefer the dude, but if I could have both of ‘em, then hell yes I would.

I have the preference namely because the lady was wearing matching pink shirt and scrunchie - and that get up on a wavy blonde made me think of that character from the Arnold the Armadillo show and I don’t like her as much.

they were wearing matching running tights, the girl was wearing pink and the guy was wearing orange (my favourite colour).

Both probably within my age range, maybe in their 30s.

The guy was super in shape, bony, broad, muscled shoulders and a runner’s taper. 

Gal was thicc and had a face that looked like Denaerys Targarean (idk how the fuck to spell that name rn)

two: I’m living in my dream neighborhood, basically, and living my dream.

where I’m at, I just went out for a walk to a park - it felt like I was at a lake. 

there’s dogs everywhere, and friendly people who own those dogs. people with stories to tell, who are happy to sit down and chat.

there’s beautiful people where I live. All sorts of beautiful people. (see revelation one: I am hella bi - and for any biphobes out there, remember that bi means i find more than one gender attractive. think about that for a sec, I’ll wait.)

there are couples in their 30s with no kids, so this place is fairly childfree.

there are people leading alternative lifestyles all around me, mixed in and living side by side harmoniously with neighbors who are more traditional. including couples even who are made up of a “normal” looking person and someone visibly living that alternative lifestyle.

today has been filled with so many LGBTQ encounters of other LGBTQ people living visibly out - whether they’re living out to prove a point, living out because it’s right for them, living out despite the fear, living out because it’s fun to, etc, etc. - that it makes me so happy to see.

there was a dude in this really fancy sports car - likewise somewhere in this 30s - which almost everyone at the intersection had to turn their heads to appreciate

there was this guy with a beard (beards are so attractive) balancing on this fancy looking road bike (god, I love bikes) - makin’ that choice for whatever his reason is, but it’s one I love because we need more bikes and less cars

on my way home, and this ties into the point below, I passed under a balcony where several ladies where having a girl’s night and discussing things.

and it turned into this awesome look on feminism in a way because they were talking about I think female genital mutilation (these are all ladies in their late 30s or older - lots of talk of husbands, etc) and how there’s so many women still having it done to them.

one of the ladies mentioned how some man in her life somewhere (she mentioned how she knew, but there was a dog I was distracted by when she explained, so I didn’t really catch it) was talking about how less girls get mutilated than boys or something. And she was like “well i don’t know the numbers for boys, but even if it is higher, that’s still six--(some ridiculously large number like 600 million or something, or 600 thousand...) and then that means there’s even more children being mutilated than that because the boys get mutilated more often.” 

like, holy shit, a man engaging in “oppression olympics” when a woman was just trying to express her shock that any children are being mutilated - and that he was being excited for winning a gender competition for “whose gender is mutilated the most as young, helpless babies?!”!

anyways, that little aside aside

holy fuck my shoulder hurts

I was thinking I could do this part as part of the stream of conscience further down, but I don’t think I can hold out that long.

So ok, I separated the AC joint (or something like that) in my right shoulder from some bungled board breaking I did during a parade with my karate club. Boards got rained on and my student and I still broke them.

I bungled this break only in that the first two elbow attempts didn’t work - the board was way too wet and it bounced both the elbows back. So I resorted to  hammer fist to break it and boooooo. I wanted to elbow it.

But yeah, turns out I’m hurting.

But I’m not sure if I am or not. Again, this is probably anxiety? or maybe another revelation.

But like, I’m confused. Would a separated shoulder take 48hrs to fully onset in terms of the pain and symptoms? Cause I felt like I was sore, but still able to do thinsg. Then when I went in yesterday to see my chiro for a scheduled appt from way before the parade, I mentioned my shoulder pain.

he ran two quick assessments on me and diagnosed me with a separated AC joint. it’s on the mild side, but it’s still a separated shoulder he said. and since them I’ve been way more conscious of it and I wonder - is it because he told me something’s wrong and I’m “pretending” because I’m hyper-aware of any sensation in the area? Or did it really just take until now for it to start being so bothersome?

--- another aside within aside within aside: I’m starting to feel suuuuper sleepy.

but then also, I’m high. I’m high on 50mg edible THC and 1/2 a 210mg joint. I should be pretty medicated by now, we can all agree. And I do feel a familiar stoner feel from the indica. Nice heavy body feel. But through it all, my neck, shoulder and lat are just screaming at me occasionally.

Especially my neck. 

And my shoulder when I go to use my right arm - reaching, etc. OHHHHHH!!!! It hurts more today than yesterday because I did karate this morning!!!!! And I pushed (but didn’t hurt) myself a bit because I wanted to train with our guests.

ok.

I get it now.

I’m not crazy, it legit hurts. I’m not being a wuss, I’m being realistic. Okay.

SEE!?! WEED! REVELATIONS!

Dammit, guys, weed really is a therapist. 

Have I even told you guys I’m a relatively new stoner? Like, just since it got legalized in Canada, and like, in November? So a lot of those like random “crazy-ass” stoner stereotypical phrases that I used to make fun of and think were like “oh, hurr durr, only stupid stoners who can’t think straight think like that” - they’re TRUE!!!! holy fuck, guys.

Hm, also, I think I am definitely going to be able to ride along and let the shrooms take me where they will next weekend. I’m ready for it. I’m excited for it. I feel like there will be so many more breakthroughs.

OH! yes, returning.

So, those ladies and talking about not even feminism, but just out in the open, within earshot of people on the street (fair, they’re just having an open air convo on their own personal balcony - everyone else is on the public sidewalk, the acoustics in this area are just very conducive), talking about statistics about women.

It’s so awesome that I live ina  place where that can happen.

That I live in a place where a trans woman and her lesbian girlfriend can walk through the park. Where an openly lesbian couple, an openly gay couple, two best dude friends (and or maybe another gay couple, it’s not like they were dressed in rainbows or held hands or anything), a single dad with two kids, a single stoner, and all sorts of straight couples can just all exist alongside each other without anyone feeling pressured or attacked or anything.

It’s awesome.

Ok. My shoulder is really hurting. I know I’m not being a wuss with this now.

Though I have to say, as much as this fucking sucks, I still wouldn’t trade it for my experience as a martial artist. Now I know for next year, and I can protect my younger students now since I know that wet boards are so harsh on even my body - it’d tear out the shoulder of some of our younger kids. And I can experiment with drying the boards a bit more so they’re more brittle and won’t bounce back. 

I think if I had been doing a single break in a controlled setting like a dojo instead of needing to set up in as few steps as possible and break and move on quick so you don’t hold up the route, I could have broken it. But as it was, it’s not possible for me to courteously summon up the concentration for a break like that on a parade route.

I’m gonna just relax for a while. Probably find some anime to watch. I wanted to draw, but I don’t think my shoulder’s up for it. I’ll have to try to remember the imagery.

It’s like, space-sci-fi dystopia future-wave sort of thing but with lower tech and more slum-like. cartoony. cel shaded. primariy colours: orange-brown, blue/purple like vaporwave, red, orange-orange, maybe some yellow/yellow-white.

guys, weed is magical. I love weed. I mean, I’m a highly functioning member of society. I live a frugal lifestyle, but I kill it at work, I’m becoming highly involved in my community, etc. 

it’s crazy how there’s that stoner stereotype, but honestly I’d say that’s just the entertaining minority. the minority we all like to smoke along with. XD

ok, that’s a wrap on this part. maybe more, maybe not. dunno.

in anycase, fuck bum shoulders, stay chill, and see ya in space.

...srsly should I do audios?