#idk my thoughts are slightly over the place because of insomnia

[sealofarchives]

In your opinion, how does Raphael handle the pressure of being the physically strongest among his brothers?

I feel like he never really thought about it until threats like baron draxum (before mikey decided to make the yokai a good guy) began to show up.

Little things like him using a weight bench set and watching wrestling videos sort of keep his mind away from that train of thought but...

It’s more of the pressure just slowly building up until it’s out of his control.

idk if season 2’s rushed finale is a good comparison for this but, he really had a breaking point trying to balance with being the oldest brother and being leader at the same time.

I’m probably gonna bring up another scrapped episode tangent but he was going to visit draxum to ask the yokai for help on mystic energy (trying methods to channel the power or something) and (there would have been lore to why draxum had those mystic weapons in the first place)

the slight tl;dr summary of my thoughts: he’s not handling it in the best way possible and dr feelings would be exhausted with how most of his family members are like this 😭

[damnfandomproblems]

763632033850327040

TW.

I know I'm going off on a tangent here, but I want to say that people using the term "mouth breather" is always really disheartening. It's a huge gut-punch in a situation many people have been dealing with for decades.

Here's my deal: I've had sleep-disordered breathing since I was a kid. It started with bad nasal resistance issues, which meant I I couldn't breathe through my nose and had to use my mouth. Parents didn't do jack shit about it because they didn't know it was a big problem. And it totally messed up the formation of my skull. Now my jaw is slightly recessed, I have vertical maxillary excess, I can't fully close my lips, and my airway looks like a coffee straw (I've seen an MRI of this and it's totally pinched when I'm on my back, and even when I'm upright), so I can't even breathe through my mouth properly without a ton of noise and resistance. Every day, I wake up with a sore throat, dry mouth, and feeling like death. That "mouth breathing" has given me sleep apnea and UARS. CPAP doesn't help so I'm looking at a bilevel now and failing that, ASV. My jaw joint sounds like gravel and constantly clicks out of place.

And doctors don't do shit. I've seen three different ENTs for my nasal issues, and all three of them just scoped my nose and said "idk, looks fine". None of them actually looked at the skeletal structure of my face despite being fucking ENTs who are supposed to, you know, know everything about the nose. None of them actually thought, huh, I'm using the pediadric scope for your nose, that might indicate there is a bigger fucking problem than just your turbinates, which you've already had a reduction for. Nope. Nothing.

The one jaw surgeon I went to told me, "idk, I can give you a sliding genio, but that's it, I don't want to mess up your ~pretty face~ (yerk) by doing an advancement". When I literally need an advancement of some kind because my jaw and tongue is encroaching on my fucking throat.

Meanwhile, I've been suffering for 20 years thinking I had treatment resistant depression and insomnia when in reality, it was my shitty breathing and every day, currently stuck with a CPAP, I look at my data and breathing waveforms and I observe they look like they've been shot with buckshot. All my breaths are flat or ragged. I see myself constantly gasping because I can't get enough air. My DME (CPAP) provider won't even look at that data, because all they want to look at is a shitty single number that isn't even accurate, because CPAP machines are garbage with actually detecting breathing issues so they constantly spit out lower-than-reality numbers, especially for people with UARS.

Now I'm looking into double jaw surgery and EASE, and the initial consultations for each are months away. I can't do anything in the meanwhile. And the real fuck-shit part of this? I live in a country with "free healthcare", but the doctors can't even solve this. And the system moves way too fucking slowly. Twenty years of languishing, only to be told over and over "you must be a hypochondriac, it's just depression, we don't need to look at the data"? Fuck that. So I'm going to go into debt paying nearly 200k for double jaw surgery and for nasal expansion. I've considered killing myself over this plenty of times. I can't imagine how many people have killed themselves over this. All because they can't breathe through their nose.

From the bottom of my heart, fuck anyone who uses the word "mouth breather" like it's a fucking joke or an insult. Fuck them.

Sorry, I saw an opportunity to vent and took it.

Posting as a response to a previous ask.

[woozten-x]

#. 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐧𝐢𝐚 || 𝐉𝐚𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧

[ ; M.List including other Neos! ]

─ Synopsis: Insomniac nights are a pain...But, Na Jaemin will be the end of it all.

─ CONTENT WARNING: Indirect mention of suicide, DEPRESSION!

─ Pairing: Na Jaemin x Gender-Neutral Reader

─ Genre: Angst w. Comfort, Fluff/Wholesome

─ Concepts: reader has insomnia and depression, indirect statement towards suicide(?), basically reader getting comforted by reader because everyone needs a Jaemin in their lives, crappy writing pls don't mind that LOL

─ Count of Words: 1.2k

─ Inspiration of the work: What Was I Made For? - Billie Ellish

A/N: hi again LMAOODHSD yeah its been awhile. uhh... well... ive been burnt out for awhile because for some reason sitting and writing was a really difficult task to do lately. i am working on other projects! but, finishing them is a different story. this isn't how i wanted to come back... but, things been rough so i've been in the gutter and just wrote this on a whim since writing is just my source of comfort.

this is incredibly self indulgent. its a little too real? idk. the emotions are there but its not exactly clarified further? i decided to post so i can just put something up before doing changes to my acc + have some comfort for people who dealt with similar issues (stay strong<3). i am not sure what else to really say HAHAHDGS but, i will be writing and putting some things up again!!

ty for anyone who followed and continued supporting my works. i really appreciate it<3 i hope you guys have a great day/night :)

Another sleepless night.

At this point, it should be part of your routine, but it has gotten to the point where you are staring at your ceiling in the dark. Endless thoughts struck your mind like thunder, each droplet of your breath seems repetitive; you are still breathing yet somehow everything feels so empty. You are not sure why you feel this way or maybe you do, it is simply one of those feelings you feel at times.

Because of these same feelings, you are left wide awake with your body begging to sleep but your mind is continuing to howl within the night; yet there is no moon. Somehow, everything feels so dark. During these late hours where everyone is sleeping, nightfall seems endless for you - finding no peace within, especially amongst your inner turmoil.

You glance at your bedside, reaching out to take your phone and check the time. The white, bold number glows back at you - ‘2:00 a.m.’ reflecting back at you and momentarily blinding you with its powerful light. You let out a heavy sigh, placing down your phone on the nightstand with eyes stinging slightly from exhaustion and possibly the bright light of your phone. Rising from your bed, you quietly open the door.

Your footstep croaks upon the wooden floor of your apartment, walking to the kitchen that was only down the hallway; thinking maybe you could find something to munch on. Knowingly, you would only go to the kitchen without much reason or an appetite. It was a distraction, one that could help you out of your thoughts; even for a brief moment.

Quietly you stalk towards the kitchen, the tile floor cold against your skin, you pay no mind however. Your hand extends towards the fridge, opening it and letting the light be the only thing illuminating back at you. Eyes scan the items inside the fridge, finding nothing appetizing nor did you bother to move to grab something; instead you stand in front of the fridge, the coldness escaping wraps around you.

It wasn’t comfortable. No, it was far from comfortable…Yet it was somehow comforting to feel it.

“Y/N?”

Blinking away the daze cursing you in place, you glanced over your shoulder to see Na Jaemin; your roommate and a friend since highschool. The two of you have quite a history, in fact he is one of your best friends, one who experienced the highs and lows with you. He seems confused upon seeing you at this hour, concern evident in his gaze but he conceals it with his usual smile of his.

One that seems to hold no worries.

“Can’t sleep?” He asks, walking over to you and you look away once hearing the beeping from the refrigerator. It was alerting the both of you about how the door was open a bit too long. You close it and Jaemin grunts when he bumps into the corner of the counter within the kitchen, “What are you doing in the dark? You got night vision?” He grumbles, a hint of pain in his teasing.

You chuckle, walking towards the light switch of the kitchen and pressing the button - “Maybe I do~ Maybe I am a vampire.”

“Is that why you are always sleeping during the day?” Jaemin jokes along, the same smile playing on his lips. The light of the kitchen glowing in a faint yellow, your eyes easily landing on Jaemin; although he carries a smile, it did not reach his eyes. “Are you okay?” He asks, inquiring about your well-being once more; he seems to care so much.

But, for what reason? Your mind instantly thinks that when just seeing it. Feeling it.

You shrug, “No idea. Just have…A lot of thoughts.” You admittedly say, not exactly direct with what you were feeling. No words could describe it; was it exhaustion? Sadness? No, for some reason, it was more complicated than that.

Jaemin eyes at you, tilting his head - “What kind of thoughts?”

“When will the world end?” You joke with a small, half-hearted laugh. Jaemin rolls his eyes, your playfulness seizing an opportunity; but, it wasn’t exactly worth it. No joy overwrites the concern on Jaemin’s handsome face.

“Do you want the world to end?” He asks, leaning himself against the edge of the counter. You stood near the fridge, feeling your shoulders shrug at his question; it was a joke, nothing more. However, Jaemin had caught on the deeper undertone of it.

You sigh, “Honestly, I don’t know. It’s not like Doom would appear at my service.”

“Yes, dating some type of godly being is out of the question.” Jaemin chuckles, nodding at your words. You feel your lips tug up into a small smile at the same banter, your eyes falling away from his; your eyes scanning the tile floor, each line of the floor somehow more interesting than the person facing you.

“I wouldn’t want it to end.” He said, shrugging his shoulders and you scoff at his words. You part your lips to speak, but he continues - “But, if it ever ended, I would want to spend the very last moment with you.”

You chuckle, not exactly surprised to hear that from him. He’s always been vocal about his loyalty towards you and even his fondness; but, somehow it has your eyes watering just a little. It was such a small thing, one thing that seemed like a Na Jaemin thing to say yet it held so much impact. You look up, blinking away the tears with a laugh leaving you - “You are so cheesy.”

Jaemin shrugs, “I prefer speaking the truth.” He softly said, noticing the vulnerability surrounding you. Even when you hide it, he is always going to notice. He lifts himself off the counter, walking towards you. Strong arms surround you, tugging you close against a warmth; one that seems familiar, but one you seemed to have forgotten.

You rest your head against his chest, hearing the faint heartbeat of Jaemin. He places a hand on the back of your head, cradling you in his secure grasp - “It’s alright now.”

Burying your face in his chest, tears streaming down your face; the same tears that never came for these past nights. No matter how hard you tried, they wouldn’t fall. Finally, the warmth streams down your cheeks, letting all the heaviness drown you; you hold onto Jaemin, fingers loosely grasping onto his sweater, as he lets out a low assuring hum.

Even when you know he would never understand, he is going to stand in front of you with open arms. He always will.

“I won’t leave you alone for the night, okay?” He murmurs near your ear, his breath warm against your skin.

You nod, your grasp tightening on his sweater. By the end of the night, you won’t be able to let him go…

Even with these past nights of anxiety and overthinking, you are finally falling asleep in peace.

[selineram3421]

Song Rec: Kids with Guns by Gorillaz

Isekai'd

Part 9: Networking 1/2

Part 8

~

Vash (Tristamp) X Reader

Warning! ⚠

⚠ cussing, insomnia, sleep deprived Reader, car hitting someone(Wolfwood), blood, mentions of death, what the fuck is vore? Does this count as it? Idk ⚠

The car bounced slightly as it drove on the sand.

You were half asleep because insomnia could be a real bitch sometimes. Vash was dozing off, sitting at the other end of the back seat.

Meryl had asked to accompany both of you, mostly to get the blonde's story.

Not wanting to drag Kevin around, you let the big bird stay with the people of Jeneora Rock, knowing that they would need the bird more than you. Also handing over a letter for them to give to the doctor.

So here you were, in the back seat of the reporter's vehicle while the news was going on, struggling to stay awake.

Maybe I should sleep. You think, too deep into your thoughts to notice that Roberto and Meryl were talking about the worm cluster up in the sky.

Then the car jerked into a sharp turn.

"Ah!", you yelped, grabbing onto the top of the seat with one arm and the other darting over to keep the blonde from flying forward, having to get closer to keep him safe.

Car having stopped, everyone in the let out a breath before getting off.

The small dark haired woman sprinted to the figure lying in the sand and the rest of you followed.

"Hey! Are you ok!?", Meryl asked the person she hit.

You went next to her, holding a small first-aid kit and recognized the poor accident victim making pained noises.

"Wolfwood?", you were a little more awake now thanks to seeing a familiar face. "Hey Star boy, help me lift.", you say and pocket the kit before crouching down to grab the man's legs.

"Right!", the humanoid typhoon rushes over to help.

After getting the man in black into the car, it was a little cramped but at least the injured person wouldn't get his head hitting the side windows. Meryl was speeding through the dunes, the car bouncing even more than earlier. "There's no dying on my watch mister!", she said panicked.

You and Vash held onto the man so he wouldn't get even more hurt, but with all the movement he was still in constant pain. Both you and the blonde looked at Wolfwood worriedly since he looked a little braindead.

Thankfully with the fast driving, the car made it to a plant stop.

Meryl jumped out of the car and rushed over to the building while you helped Vash get the injured man out of the car.

"We need supplies! This man is injured!", she said before getting a good look at the state the place was in.

"Hold on.", you mumble to the blonde and let him take hold of Wolfwood before going into the building, seeing the blood and dead bodies inside.

The other two followed you both in and also took in the scene.

.

After the bodies were buried and Wolfwood was up, you stood next to the kid as you watched the undertaker in black stuck the heavy cross into the sand.

"Uh.. Heavenly father, lord in heaven..", he started, taking a drink from the bottle in his hand while squatting down. "Forgive us our sins oh lord as we forgive those who sin against us.", he said and started sprinkling the water on the makeshift graves.

You rolled your eyes, too tired for whatever gibberish the man in the suit would say next.

"Please welcome their souls and all the faithful departed into your..into your.. What is it?"

Vash and Meryl look up from their sad gazes after hearing that.

"Welcome them into your humble abode?"

The two look at the black haired man in confusion as he continues to guess what to say next. And then the cross starts to tilt and fall, making the man scramble to catch it.

"Uh..make sure there's some empty chairs. They're kindom coming so..", Wolfwood says with his hands in a praying position.

"That's enough!", the small reporter says, making the undertaker stop. "You're not really a priest, huh?"

"No, I'm not.", Wolfwood says standing up. "I'm an Undertaker."

Shovel, shovel. Bury, bury. You thought with a slow blink.

You didn't pay attention until the man in black walked over and took a knee, handing the kid a lollipop.

"I want one..", you mumble to yourself.

Damn. I am out of it. You thought and rubbed one of your eyes.

Looking over to the three, you are just in time to see the check scene. Vash in total shock at the price before shakily showing it to Meryl. Then Meryl starts to argue with Wolfwood and the other reporter walks up, taking the check before scoffing.

There was a sudden light ring in your ears, making you wake up just a bit.

Isn't this when-

You don't get to finish that thought as everything starts shaking and you grab onto the kid so that you both don't fall over.

Even though I know they're the cause, here I am making sure they don't fall.

The shakes continue and that's when the sand dust starts to form when the worm gets closer. At the moment you wonder if you should feel terrified or in awe.

Then it hit you.

Ah, I've hit my sleep deprivation insanity.

"It's a grand-worm!", Vash yelled out before the giant worm swallows the plant station whole.

"AAAAAAAHHH-!"

Everyone screams as all of you go down the dark and odd throat of the worm, eyes widening when seeing the high fall after entering another part of the worm.

All of you groan after hitting the bottom, sitting up or standing from the fall.

Meryl had held onto you and the kid while falling, then she pulled both of you back when a large piece of metal fell just a few inches away.

"Incoming!", Roberto yelled out as more of the plant station started to fall down, even the car.

"Nope, nope, nope.", you started moving the two next to you and felt someone squish you between the two while bringing all of you away from the danger. "Oof-", you sounded as all of you landed.

"You guys aren't hurt are you?", the humanoid typhoon asks.

"No.", you say and shiver in disgust when feeling sand in your clothing, sitting up quickly and shaking/pulling at your clothes.

You stand up and grab onto your coat, also shaking the sand off of it. And as you were doing that, you heard Wolfwood saying something about watching your step.

Then a flying worm crawled out of a skull.

.

"I've heard something about worms being interconnected.", the small reporter said.

"You heard right.", the older reporter confirmed.

Vash and the others watched as the worms communicated. Light bouncing off the walls of the worm as the small one flew farther and farther.

"That's its detached electron network. The bigger the worm, the more detached electrons it holds.", the older reporter says. "Judging by its size, this guy must be a pillar of its community."

"Which means?", Meryl asked, turning to look at her partner.

"Which means we're in the head honcho.", Roberto replied.

The blonde was still looking up at the bug before snapping his attention to the two figures going deeper into the worm.

"Hey!", he said and ran after the two.

What is the angel doing!?

"Come back!", the small reporter shouted.

They stopped when the two were climbing, the kid jumping over while the medic was still going.

"What are you doing?", he asked as they kept climbing.

They looked over their shoulder and down at him with a serious gaze, not missing a beat with their response.

"Going after the kid, duh.", they said and continued climbing.

Well, that makes sense. He thought and started climbing.

Then after the climb, he found them standing in front of four tunnel like openings.

"Uh..", the medic turned to face him and the reporter with a nervous smile. "I think I lost the kid..?"

Sleep? What's that?

~Seline, the person.

Next: Part 10

Taglist@

@summerdazed @lunar-archangel @+?

ML Vash | ChL Isekai'd

[pips-fics]

ask by @writercirrus / @sickiecirrus (be sure to check out her fantastic writing!) : Hi!! My favorite fic is the one where Han gets sick and calls Channie who runs over and helps him. Idk why but I keep rereading. Your stories are always well written!! I’ve never been like LET ME EDIT THIS PLZZZ like I do with most other fanfics!! I do have a request... Channie gets the stomach flu and doesn’t want to be babied or fussed over but finally gives in and lets his members take care of him (idk why but I feel like Channie would be like that)

big thanks to madeline once again for the lovely title! <3 and thank you to cirrus for the kind words and their request, it was a lot of fun to write :D

tw: vomiting, insomnia, overworking

take a rest, hyung –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

“you are not allowed to leave your bed today.” minho had taken one look at chan and decided to lay down the law. behind him, felix cackled.

“chan stay in bed challenge!”

chan groaned. that was the thing about these two: he couldn’t say no to either of them. felix because saying no to him felt like bullying a small child; minho because he already knew chan disagreed and clearly did not care. chan tried anyway.

“i’m fine. you’re both just overreacting.”

jisung poked his head through the doorway, looking skeptical. “who’s overreacting?”

hope blossomed in chan’s chest. jisung would understand. “sungie! i just want to work on that one b-side, just for a bit. non strenuous activity, y’know?”

“oh,” jisung said, giving chan a quick once-over. “no.”

“what?”

“yeah, hyung, you look like you’re going to pass out. don’t move.”

it took all of chan’s willpower not to throw something in a fit of rage when jisung came over to check his temperature with the back of his hand. or it would have, except chan did feel slightly like he might pass out, actually. jisung whistled, and chan pretended like his head didn’t feel like it was splitting down the middle.

“he’s pretty warm,” jisung said to minho, who nodded as if he already knew that.

“well he’s been working non-stop recently and hardly sleeping,” hyunjin said from the doorway, quickly catching on to the situation. he took about three strides and crossed the room to press a glass of cool water to chan’s lips. chan sputtered.

“what is wrong with you all? i’m not dying, i can take care of myself.”

hyunjin looked at him skeptically. “you literally can’t, that’s the point i just made.”

rather than respond to that, chan got up and pushed his way through the small crowd that had begun to encircle him. he walked to the kitchen and then, without preamble, vomited into the sink.

after three quick, powerful, and unpleasant expulsion of his stomach contents, chan wiped his mouth on the back of his hand and turned to see seungmin starring at him, open mouthed. across the room, jeongin choked on the water he’d been drinking. chan frowned.

“what? i feel better now,” he explained. seungmin’s mouth snapped shut, then opened again.

“what. the fuck.”

chan soon found himself being marched back to his bedroom by the two youngest members of stray kids.

he wasn’t stupid. chan understood that the other boys cared about him, and that they were just trying to help. he knew it would make them feel better, so he resigned himself to allowing their fussing - just temporarily.

chan would admit that the cool towels jisung kept putting on his forehead felt nice, and it was very sweet that the boys ensured someone was with him at all times - to prevent boredom, seungmin said. but then, that was the problem - chan wouldn’t be bored if they would just let him work, but as soon as he took his laptop out, minho confiscated it.

“this is so unfair,” chan complained. minho just smirked at him, seeming to take great pleasure in chan’s annoyance.

“you can thank me later.”

chan grumbled under his breath, but thought smugly that the joke was on minho, in the end. chan had his phone hidden under the covers, so he could work on writing lyrics using that. heck, he could even plug in his AirPods an work on producing with a mobile app, if he really wanted to. chan smiled slightly, feeling clever, and then sprinted to the bathroom.

despite minho’s annoying tough love, there was something soothing about having someone there to brush chan’s sweaty bangs away from his forehead as he emptied his stomach. this time the nausea didn’t pass quite a quickly, or as completely - even after a ten minute camp out filled with productive heaving, chan still felt woozy, and he couldn’t stop his hands from shaking. he hid them in his hoodie pockets as minho guided him back to the bedroom.

things were quieter after that. most of the younger guys were at the studio practicing the dance moves for their upcoming music video, and changbin, who chan hadn’t seen all day, was probably cooped up with jisung trying to pick up the slack from chan’s day off. chan was genuinely exhausted and was tempted to actually rest, but sleep didn’t come easily with guilt hanging over him. no matter how much he told himself it was better in the long run, the knowledge that someone had to do whatever he didn’t have time for was eating chan up inside.

so, after trying and failing to sleep for about ten minutes, chan slid under the covers and got to work on his phone. he tried to be kind to himself, but he wasn’t making much progress even while he was working on stuff.

when changbin barged in and suddenly threw chan’s covers off to snatch his phone out of his hands, chan was less than pleased.

“changbin! what the fuck!”

“hyung, you’re supposed to be sleeping!” changbin said, annoyance lining his voice.

“what, did jisung tell you that?” chan felt angry tears spring to his eyes and quickly wiped them away, but he saw changbin soften.

“of course he did,” changbin said. “he’s so worried about you that he can’t get a single thing done, hyung. so please, just rest? at least let your eyes take a break from your screens?”

in the corner of the room, minho checked his watch - or the place on his wrist where the would’ve been a watch, if he’d owned one. “welp, looks like my shift is up. changbin, babysitting duty is all yours.”

changbin frowned, but took minho’s place silently. chan refused to meet his eyes.

“hyung?”

“just leave me alone, changbin, please.”

it wasn’t anger, but it came off that way. it was shame.

the thought that chan had thrown jisung off, too, and now changbin was here taking care of him - chan hated it. they were all going to get in trouble for slacking at this rate, and it was chan’s fault about three times over. truthfully, chan felt like crying, but that would only make things worse, so instead he pulled out out a notebook. on accident, he met changbin’s disapproving gaze. chan’s voice came out sounding very small.

“bin, please.”

arms crossed, changbin breathed a sigh through his nose. he didn’t say anything, but his eyes slid away from chan and he clear didn’t intend to stop him.

the guilt settled heavier than ever in chan’s already upset stomach, but he hoped making some progress on work would help him feel better. unfortunately, it wasn’t that easy. with every minute that passed, chan felt worse. he jotted down some notes, just vague ideas but most of his energy was being expended just trying to keep his stomach contents in place. by the time he admitted to himself that he was fighting a losing battle, chan could hardly move without risking making a mess.

he set his notes aside, and put a trembling hand over his mouth. his attempt to get changbin’s attention was cut off before he could even say “bin,” and it was all chan could do to swallow the sick in his throat back down. he wasn’t entirely successful, but thankfully, changbin had sprung up and handed chan the plastic bowl minho had left by his bedside.

things still weren’t pretty. chan had held the sick in for so long that once he stopped fighting it, it spewed forth with so much force that it splattered the bed - and chan’s notes. changbin scrambled to save them, but chan waved him off.

“throw them out,” he said dejectedly, right before coughing himself into another vomiting spell. at this point, chan was beyond exhausted, and the room wouldn’t stop spinning before his eyes. when he squeezed them shut, he felt even sicker and retched hollowly until changbin forced him to drink some water that chan threw up again almost immediately. chills ran through him so viciously that chan worried he might lose his grip on the bowl, and was relieved when someone else’s hands appeared to keep it steady.

by the time he was done, chan wanted absolutely nothing more than a hug. when he looked up with tears in his eyes, chan found that jeongin was the one holding the bowl and froze.

“are you all back?” it was one thing, he thought, to inconvenience changbin alone - he and changbin had been through thick and thin together, and despite chan’s guilt, he knew changbin would brush this off soon enough. he wasn’t as sure about the other members of his team. “are you okay?” chan asked, on second thought.

jeongin scoffed. “hyung, can you please stop worrying about the rest of us for one second and worry about yourself? or better yet, just let us do the worrying for you, for once.”

chan sniffled, and felt tears prick his eyes. his boys had really matured. the realization took the breath out of him for a second, and the tension went with it. he flopped back onto his pillows and nodded.

“yeah, alright, innie, i’ll give it a go.”

after that, it was a flurry of activity. tasks, apparently, had been delegated by seungmin, so changbin cleaned out the bucket, hyunjin grabbed more water, minho put the blankets in the wash, jisung brought new blankets, jeongin cleaned chan up - and felix was on immediate snuggle duty. as the others finished their tasks, they joined, one by one, until the bed was a pile of the people chan treasured most.

in the end, it was easier than he’d thought, falling asleep surrounded by love.

——

a very quick reader survey (specific to this fic!) to make me smile and celebrate hyunjin <3

——

feel free to send more asks! / rules

[dreamieofu]

7 Minutes in Heaven

pairing; exboyfriend!haechan x reader word count; 2.1k genre; fluff, so much fluff... warnings; idk, alcohol(?) not even mentioned but it’s a party so... also reader has small confession about insomnia.  summary; your ex is back in town, and when you’re accidentally caught in seven minutes of heaven... you ask him to sing for you. 

a/n: requested! ♡ i had a lot of fun writing this, and it really warms my heart.. i guess everyone needs a little haechan to sing to them. 

He was coated in florescent lights, a sheen of sweat glistening his skin as he stood there, across the room. Eyes lowered, diverted from yours. He’s suited in a leather jacket over a white tee, ripped jeans and his favourite trainers. Even though you both were surrounded by a swarm of people, it was like a spotlight shone over him. Golden boy, Lee Donghyuck. You stay eyeing him from the distance, teeth bitten onto the rim of your plastic cup. It’s only been a few days since you’ve heard he was back in town, his name brought back memories and he seemed to be more glowing than ever. It frustrated you how your heart was still soft for him, and you confirm that in your mind because you’re still watching him. Glance unwavering as he laughs. You used to date a few years back, and broke up due to the distance. He was leaving town, and so he left you. But a lot has changed throughout the years, you’re both a lot more older. You did date a few times after he left, but you never seemed to forget the way he would make you feel. Donghyuck was your first love, and you were his. 

“He looks good doesn’t he?” Jaemin grins.

You mindlessly nod, agreeing with his words in seconds. Jaemin was your closest friend, he was the only one out of your group of friends who remembers Donghyuck. “I don’t remember him looking like that,” You tell Jaemin, tilting your head before finally tearing your eyes away from Donghyuck. You take a sip from your cup, hating how you couldn’t enjoy yourself. Your mind was constantly drifting back to Donghyuck ever since he walked into the house party. Donghyuck was close friends with the host of the party, and from what you’re aware of, he still was. “Have you spoken to him yet? Donghyuck.” Jaemin questions, head pointing towards Donghyuck’s direction across the room before taking another gulp from his cup. “No…Should I? I don’t know, what if he doesn’t remember me?” Your insecurities more vocal, as you look Jaemin in the eye for reassurance. Wanting to hear something along the lines of, “How could he forget you?” But you could only hear Jaemin’s laughter following after your words. You nudge his shoulder pushing him backwards a bit, before he pretends to be hurt. His hand following where you pushed him to smooth out his shirt. “Well, you never know,” He almost sings, eyebrows dancing as another playful smirk graces his features. 

You peer over your shoulder in attempt find Donghyuck again, quickly falling onto the spot you remembered he last was. But he wasn’t there. It made sense, he wouldn’t stand in the same spot for hours. Yet, a little sadness twinged in your heart because you lost him in the crowd. “He’s gone,” you pout to Jaemin. Hearing nothing in response, you repeat your words with a tiny whine. Looking back to face him, you connect eyes with the man himself. “Who’s gone?”. His voice was deeper than you remember, velvet. He grew taller too. You fumble with your words, upon seeing him upclose. Your lips part ready to reply, but nothing comes out. And you swear you can see Jaemin holding back the biggest smile seeing you all flustered. Mentally you want to push him again, but you’re caught. You couldn’t take your eyes away from Donghyuck. “Just some random guy she was eyeing,” Jaemin saves you, amusement in his tone as Donghyuck looks at him. Finally letting go of his gaze, you try your best to get a hold of your composure. Your hand reaches to touch your face, feeling heated. The sudden hyper awareness of the atmosphere makes you kind of light headed. “I’ll get you another drink,” Jaemin speaks louder, his hand taking your cup. He manouvers between you and Donghyuck before giving Donghyuck a cheeky smile. Jaemin left you alone with him, and you silently curse him for doing so. “Long time no see…” Donghyuck smiles, a breathtaking smile. You helplessly mirror him, feeling your cheeks raise. “Yeah, long time no see,”. 

“How’ve you been?” He feels a lot more mature, you can’t pinpoint what it is but it makes you even more attracted to him. Feeling his aura closer at you, his presence intoxicating. You nod along with his words, smile never leaving. “I’ve been good.” “I can tell,”. Not only did he have all these new attributes about him drawing you in second by second, he was also smooth with his talk. You watch him lick his lips slightly. By now you’ve lost your smile. Feeling shy under his gaze. “How long will you be staying?” You question, genuinely curious but also as a way to not think about his previous words. “A few weeks,”. You nod understanding his words, your mouth opening to ask another question but nothing comes to mind. “You look good,” You confess, slightly embarrassed and he makes sure you stay that way when he gives you a questioning look. “What did you say?” His hand cups one of his ears, as he leans a bit closer to you. The music evidently more louder than before. You attempt to raise you voice even louder, losing confidence whilst doing so, “You look good!” You repeat. He only shakes his head, boldly taking your hand to push through the crowd. Your feet move on their own as they follow him. Donghyuck looks good from the back also, and a part of you wants to run your hand through his hair. But you’re quick to physically shake that idea away from your thoughts, as he brings you into a room. You look around, a window to the right, curtains drawn open left slightly ajar. The room was dark, dimly lit with a bed in the middle and other furniture. You give him a questioning look as he shuts the door behind you both. He’s panting a small bit, as he turns around to you. A small smile on his face, “What did you say back there? I couldn’t hear you.” He sounded so innocent you didn’t really mind the way the room felt. Being alone. “I said: You look good,” Shyness creeping on you as you look away from him, to look at the posters on the wall. You get startled by the loud banging on the other side of the door. 

“You got seven minutes!”. You look back at each other with wide eyes, obviously shocked at the realisation. “I guess we’re in 7 minutes of heaven,” He laughs. You smile at him, liking the way his laugh sounds. “I guess we are,”

Even with the room being dark, away from the coloured lights outside. Donghyuck still looked amazing, and you couldn’t get over it. “So what? Are we going to kiss now?” He jokes, running a hand though his hair. “No…” You say gently. You can’t tell if it was a joke or if he was serious. Donghyuck chuckles lightheartedly anyway. It was nice, reuniting with him this way, he made you feel comfortable. Sudden warmth surrounds you as your mind starts reeling old memories. Together you spent a few short minutes laughing and reminicing about the past, really catching up on life and sharing jokes about the days when you were dating. You both were now sat at the foot of the bed, next to each other. His laughter dies down slowly after yours.

You smile at him, the silence holding both of you close. Although, the sounds from outside were muffled, it felt good to be detached from the crowd. You never expected to spend your night like this, with Donghyuck. In knowing so, you muster up courage. “To be honest… Lately I’ve been having a lot of insomnia,” Your voice quiet, but he hears you none the less. A sympathtic look falls on his face, as he kindly offers you a smile of encouragement to continue. “And I don’t know if it’s because of the room right now, or the fact that you’re actually here after all these years,” You ramble, hands clasped together nervously. Looking up at Donghyuck as he places one of his warm hand on top of yours. Your eyes connect and you swear it’s like a flashback. “But can you sing for me?” You nervously request. 

Eyes full of hope, he gives you a small smile and an innocent kiss to your forehead. You close your eyes at his gesture. Sinking into the side of his body as he places one of his arms behind you holding you close. “Okay,” He agrees in a whisper. Not a few moments later, your head is under his chin and resting at his shoulder. He sings you one of your favourite songs. You’d be lying if you were to say you weren’t touched that he still remembers. He feels familiar, and his voice is everything you needed. He sings with care laced around each word. Donghyuck makes you feel safe. You’ve not felt this relaxed in weeks, and he’s so effortlessly cleared your thoughts. Everything in your mind was about him, the way the breath of this tone kissed your ears. And how his hand was still on top of yours rubbing his thumb rhythmically as he gently rocks you. You move your hands away from his touch, and pull your head back to look at him. Your heart racing, as he stops singing. “Are you okay?” He asks, genuine concern in his tone. You almost tear up at how gentle he was with you. His eyes glistening from the moonlight. You nod bringing your head down, knocking it against his chest lightly. His hand instinctively reaches out to stroke the back of your head. You slowly lift your head from his chest and look up at him. He is so soft, and he’s understanding. Staying quiet even though you’re acting a bit odd and you appreciate it. “Donghyuck…” You whisper his name, and he hums in response. “Is it okay to kiss you right now?”. He looks a bit taken aback, but doesn’t show any discomfort. He kinda gleams at you, the left corner of his lips raises upwards as he melts at your words. If he were honest with himself this time. He did have hopes in bumping into you, his mind thought about you often thoughout the years. He was hoping to find you again in his visit back into town. And hearing you say such words, has his heart soaring with the stars. He chuckles though, at your awaiting gaze. “Sure.” His finger barely traces your jaw as he lifts your chin towards him. Bringing your lips close, just about to touch - when… 

“TIME’S UP!!!” Someone yanks the door wide, completely ruining the moment as you snap your eyes open. 

Your head falls back into his chest in embarassment. The music from the party spilling in the room, as the lights meet your vision again. You quickly shut your eyes inwardly groaning as you felt him laugh. His hand soothes your back before he quickly guides you both to your feet. You keep your head low, as he instinctively grabs hold of your hand to leave the room. “Thanks man,” Donghyuck smirks sarcastically to the person who opened the door. 

Once you both reach outside, another couple make their way into the room. You look back and watch them as they shut the door behind them. A pout plays on your lips, thinking about how close that kiss was. Donghyuck notices you sulking to yourself, and it makes him smile. “Hey,” He speaks loudly against the music gaining your attention. You’re quick to look at him because he also lets go of your hand whilst saying so. You don’t have time to complain from the loss of contact before that same hand cups the side of your face to crash his lips onto yours. It was sudden, but his eyes were already closed as he places his lips between yours. It makes you forget everything, the fact that there are people present around you. All you could think about was the way his lips were so soft. Once you relaxed into his touch, his other hand pulls you toward him, wrapping around your waist behind you. Deepening the kiss, as he starts a slow pace. Your hands creeping up, trailing against his torso, to his chest to then link around his neck. He kisses different from your memories, it was better and filled with so much more passion than you could’ve recalled. It had your mind going blank, your everything in his control. He begins to kiss you with a bit more urgency, as if almost saying “I missed this, and I’ve missed you,” He pulls away from you, lips a bit swollen as he licks them. His eyes never leaving yours, as you smile with him. “Let me take you home,” 

[leagueofidiots]

Okay, consider, dabi having been the oldest sibling was so used to caring for others and had no one caring for him. But then, big brother twice (because that's the kind of role I imagine for twice) and suddenly he gets that kind of care and big brotherness. Honestly, I just like the idea of twice calling him "little bro".

OF COURSE I live for Dabi and Jin having a brotherly bond (thank you for making it canon, Hori!)

In fact, it was one of my favorite NaNoWriMo chapters to write (I'd just link it but idk how to just do one chapter)

Brief mention of suicidal thoughts! Makes sense without context

It was late at night, and the side room I'd selected to stay in along with Twice, Toga, and Mustard was chilly. While Toga and Mustard were at a decent temperature to sleep at, the heat of each other warming them as they'd laid and talked, Jin and I were still awake, him from the cold, me from my insomnia.

"Can't you light a fire or something? It's freezing in here. I've never been toastier."

"Where do you want me to put it, your face?" I mutter quietly, rolling onto my side.

"At this point that would be welcome. I would literally kill you," he rolls over too, now facing me from across the room. "Hey, can I come share a blanket with you? It worked for Mustard and Himiko."

"No, I'm not sharing a blanket with you."

"Why nooot? Fine, I didn't want to anyway. Please? I'm freezing," he whines, arguing with himself as usual.

"Fine, sure, whatever, but the second you start cuddling me, you're out," I concede, scootching over to make room on my portion of the floor.

He springs over before I can change my mind, nearly kicking Toga in the face on his journey. As he reaches me, rolling under the blanket like Jason Bourne, he sighs in satisfaction. "Toasty. It's like a blizzard under here."

I warm myself up a little bit to help him out after his icy foot brushes up against mine. The quicker he's warm, the quicker he'll leave me alone. If I start feeling myself steam, I'll stop, but I should be fine since I'm not actually lighting myself on fire.

"Hey, Dabi? I was gonna ask you something. I'm gonna go to sleep." He faces me and rests his chin on his hand.

"What?" I ask dryly.

"When we were doing the summer camp raid, your clones were acting kinda...weird. There was nothing unusual about them." I'm learning to just trust the first thing he says and totally disregard the second. Once or twice the order is switched, but usually this is a safe bet. "I don't care about you. I was kinda worried."

I blink at him, his mask finally off to reveal his face, looking ever-so-slightly concerned as his eyes search over my face. "Why, what was weird about them?"

"Well, they didn't really seem scared to die. When I clone people, they still have, like, a straight mindset. They go absolutely bonkers. Like when I clone myself, they still want, like, rights and equality and stuff."

I give him a moment to continue, but he just continues to search me with his dull-blue eyes. "...And that's a concern because…?"

"Well, I mean, if they were that willing to die, I was just worried that...I dunno, just, are you okay? I'd wanna die if I looked like that too."

"Yeah, no, it makes sense. I'm only here to fulfill my purpose, and then I have no reason to live anymore. Once I kill Endeavor, all I live for will be worked out, and then there's nothing left for me but pain. So I intend to kill myself, once I make sure the rest of my family is alright and the truth about Endeavor comes out."

He blinks. "You really are determined to kill him, huh? I guess it makes sense after all you went through. What a dumb goal. Why do you feel responsible for your family still? They've assumed you've been dead for...How old are you?"

"Twenty-three."

"They've assumed you've been dead for eleven years. Why do you still worry? Your stress makes perfect sense."

I huff a little. "You ask a lot of questions." He shrugs. "I guess I just worry because I grew up having to watch over them. My mom was scared all the time, and I was the oldest, so it was sort of just something I got used to. Feeling like they were my responsibility."

"Well, I suggest giving it up now, 'cuz I officially nominate myself as your older brother!" He reaches his hand out of our blanket and ruffles my hair. "You're a lost cause."

"Jin, why? Just...this whole thing is easier if I don't make connections." I pull away and roll over so my back faces him.

He presses closer towards me. "Ya know, maybe if you'd work on your self-esteem, you'd feel better. I know I do. Life sucks."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I hug my elbows, trying to not let myself care about him. All that will do is get in the way of what I need to do.

"Well, for the longest time growing up, I enjoyed my quirk. I could clone myself, and have them do stuff for me. It was like heaven. No it wasn't! Shut up! No, I want a turn!" He huffs, and pulls his mask over his face. "Sorry. Anyway, they ended up all killing each other, and for all I know I'm one of them. I went kinda crazy after that. I didn't accept myself, and nobody accepted me."

He stops propping himself up to face me, and I feel him roll onto his back. "It wasn't until I joined the league that I had a home. I'm thankful for that. I wanna leave. But I'm still here even though Shiggy makes dumb plans that never work, and Toga's obsessed with blood, and Kurogiri's the only one that knows how to take care of humans; and that's because you guys are home. Now that I'm here, I've started being okay with me. And I wanna keep working towards that. But every time you guys just accept that I am how I am? It means a lot to me. I wish you'd all die."

I let it sink in for a moment. Jin, who'd always seemed so confident and sure of himself. I suppose it makes sense that he wouldn't face a lot of acceptance. I wonder how his family handled it?

I roll onto my back once more. I may want to avoid relationships, but I shouldn't be a jerk to my allies. "I'm glad you found a place."

He turns his head, giving me his exaggerated grin, one eye shut in a wink. "You'll get there too, Dabi! I believe in you! You'll probably be depressed your whole life." A thumbs up.

"How old are you anyway? You aren't mature enough for me to venture a guess."

"I'm thirty. Hence the 'big brother Jin' thing I said. Remember? I'm protecting you now. You're old enough to care for yourself."

I smile at him faintly. "Goodnight, Jin."

"Night, Touy," he cheers. I decide not to push it.

[saint-of-los-angeles]

You Could See the Madness In My Eyes

You Could See the Madness In My Eyes

Summery: In which Insomnia gets the best of Nikki, when his subconscious paints him as a monster, and as the one person he has spent his whole life trying not be.

Nightmares are not for the weak.

But he has his Terror Twin in the bed beside him, to sooth the fears that his own mind conjures up.

Pairing: Tommy Lee/Nikki Sixx

Warnings: listen yall, this one is important THERE IS REFERANCED ABUSE IN THIS. IT IS NOT GRAPHIC BY ANY MEANS, BUT IF DISCUSSIONS OF PAST ABUSE (OR DREAM ABUSE? IDK WHAT TO CALL IT. ABUSE IN A DREAM) UPSETS YOU, THIS IS NOT THE FIC FOR YOU. This is also SLASH. If Tommy/Nikki ain't you're thing, don't read, okay?

Nikki’s eyes shot open. Fuck fuck fuck, was he having a heart attack? His chest was on fire, he was breathing deep, stuttering breaths bordering on hyperventilation, yet it felt like air wasn't making it to his lungs.

It wasn’t real, it wasn’t real, it wasn’t real. 

Nikki had lost track of how many times he sang this mantra to himself when he woke up mid panic attack. Ever since he was a kid, his dreams had been riddled with nightmares- no fuck that. These were more than nightmares. Night terrors? Is that what they called them? Nikki didn’t know, the only thing he knew was they were absolute hell. Maybe science didn’t have a word for them yet. Maybe Nikki’s brain was so fucked up, so unimaginably damaged, it managed to do things that science hadn’t seen before.

Sometimes the nightmares were flashbacks. Those were bad, but those weren’t the worst ones.

The past wasn't what caused Nikki to dread sleep, not anymore. He had the beautiful man laying beside him to thank for that. Tommy had single handedly taken Nikki's past trauma and fear of rejection and pain and curled himself around it, absorbing it into himself and soothing the ache that Nikki had been accustomed to living with all these years.

No, it was the future that scared Nikki. More specifically,  his future.

Nikki scared himself more than he'd like to say. The dark thoughts that sometimes swam inside the bassists head swallowed him, made him fear any kind of intimacy or love. He feared if he continued living this way, the thoughts would eat him alive to the very core of his soul until he was nothing but a living corpse, an emotionless body that feeds on the emotions of other people, drawing them in, loving them, only to consume them in the end. 

So he consciously spent every waking minute trying to be better, trying desperately to take the light Tommy had given him and using it to disband this horrible state of mind. Making a conscious effort was better than she ever did, right? He wanted to be better than who he was raised by.

Something about that thought made him feel so vulnerable. Nikki didn’t do vulnerable. Vulnerable was a good way to get your heart ripped out and bludgeoned, damaged beyond repair. Before he met Tommy he didn’t even realize the wall he had built between himself and the outside world even existed. The side of the wall that faces the world is bright, outgoing, the life of the party. But the side that only Nikki could see was painted black, crumbling and decaying, terrified of being alone but allowing no one in. 

When he met the overexcitable puppy that he now calls his boyfriend, Nikki noticed a change in himself. It was like every time he and Tommy were together, one brick of the wall was removed. Tommy didn’t smash his way through, he carefully dissected it, brick by agonizing brick, as if Nikki himself would crumble if Tommy pushed too hard. Tommy continued removing brick by brick until he had made a Tommy-sized hole and he crawled inside. Tommy was like a beacon of light on that side of the wall, illuminating all the darkness inside Nikki.

Sometimes Nikki thinks Tommy had damn near fixed him, but then things like this happen and Nikki realizes, no. Tommy has healed many of his wounds, but Nikki himself is unfixable.

Nikki wiped furiously at the tears on his hot cheeks that had fallen in his sleep, groaning in frustration when he found them to be replaced as soon as he wiped them away. Why is this happening? Why does this always happen? Why is his brain fucking broken? Why can’t he forget? Just fucking forget and be normal, Nikki, you have so much shit going for you right now, there’s no reason to be such a goddamn pussy. 

Nikki fisted the bedsheets between his fingers, taking a deep breath as he tried to get the visions of the dream out of his head. His heart pounded in his ears and his body wanted nothing more than to break down and sob but no. Your pillow is already soaked with tears, there’s a human shaped sweat stain on your sheets, and now you’re gonna sob like a fucking idiot and wake Tommy up and worry him to death? Just fucking get it together, Sixx.

Nikki tried so hard to be strong for so long, but he knew in the back of his mind that eventually he would break down and seek comfort in the only place he could truly find it. It never failed that the bassist would give in and scoot closer to the man sleeping beside him. 

Maybe he was selfish in that way. 

He would always try not to wake Tommy up, Tommy had wiped his tears this way too many times, and Nikki always felt guilty as hell for interrupting the drummer's sleep when he looked so fucking peaceful. 

Before Tommy and Nikki finally confessed their feelings for one another, Nikki was reduced to knocking on Tommy’s hotel door at 4 in the morning, counting down the seconds until the door closed behind the two of them, so he could finally let the tears fall and let the drummer take care of him in a way only he would.

These dreams didn’t come every night. Sometimes he could go weeks or even occasionally months without one, but when they did come they haunted him for hours and days afterwards. Nikki had accepted them as part of himself, and as something the bassist didn’t think he would ever be free of.

Either way, Nikki could only ever remember bits and pieces of each dream,something the bassist was incredibly grateful for. His brain refused to remember the most traumatic parts- the parts that caused Nikki to wake up in drenched sheets with his heart pounding out of his chest, which to Nikki, was pretty fucked up, because the parts he did remember were fucking horrible. 

Out of all of the fucked up dreams he's had throughout his years of living, the worst ones were the ones like the one that Nikki had just had, they portrayed Nikki himself as the monster.

Yes, those were the worst ones. Nikki’s greatest fear was becoming the monster that world had tried to shape him into, that the childhood traumas would mold him into the very person he spent his whole life trying so hard not to be.

Nikki spewing out hate filled words that had once been directed towards the bassist himself. Venom laced words, rough hands hitting, shoving, abusing the one person in his life that had told Nikki "I'm never going to leave you" and held up that promise despite how Nikki is fucked up and damaged beyond repair.

That was Nikki's worst nightmare.

As it turned out, Nikki didn't have to give into the selfish need to seek comfort, not today. Maybe it was the shaking of the bed as Nikki tried to swallow his sobs, maybe it was the broken off, strangled noises that escaped Nikki's lips despite his efforts. Maybe it was just that internal radar that seemed to exist inside of both Nikki and Tommy, that always seemed to send out warning signals whenever one needed the other.

That internal radar had told Nikki that Tommy needed him that night, that horrible-turned-wonderful night, that he and Tommy had shared their first kiss. It hadn't been the first time they had shared a bed, not by far, Nikki had his constant insomnia and frightening dreams to thank for that- but it had a different meaning that night.

The next morning, Nikki had smiled at Tommy and told him that their souls had to be connected by a force of energy, an invisible fiber, something. Nikki had known Tommy had needed him, and that same invisible force woke Tommy up, had him roll over in bed, had him smiling at Nikki that damn smile. That same sad smile that Nikki got everytime he woke up from one of these horrific nightmares. That smile that said it wasn't real Nikki, it wasn't real and I'm here now.

Nikki blinked rapidly, trying to clear his tears to see that smile more clearly. It always made the darkness that Nikki had harbored since he was a kid ebb away, slowly giving way the brightness that radiated from Tommy's pearly white sideways grin.

"Wanna talk about it?" Tommy asked, gently placing a soft hand on Nikki's tear stained cheek.

Nikki shook his head, turning his face into the palm and choking out another sob, trying to push his face as close to the hand as he could. It brought him comfort to feel the soft skin of the inside of Tommy's palm, in sharp contrast to the slightly rough calluses the drummer had on each digit- the result of a few hundred too many hours with drumsticks twirling in his talented fingers.

He loved those hands, and the man they belonged to. 

Tommy just nodded,  sliding his hands from Nikki's cheek to the back of his head to tangle in his hair, pulling the raven haired man into his chest, tucking his head under his chin and holding him there, firmly. 

Nikki loved that he never had to explain himself to Tommy. Tommy never pried, never tried to force Nikki to talk, instead he just did all of the talking for Nikki. He'd hold Nikki in his arms, muttering nonsense for as long as it took for Nikki to calm down. He tell Nikki how important he was to him, how this is the kind of love that he had always dreamed of, the kind of love he watched his parents share, how as long as he was in Tommy's arms, he was safe. No one would ever harm him, bring him down, break his heart. Not while Tommy was holding him, he'd shield him from the whole fucking world if he had to.

Sometimes Nikki would finally pull back and talk to Tommy about his struggles,  sometimes he would just listen to Tommy talk until he fell asleep to the low rumble of Tommy's voice in his ear.

This was a wonderful alternative to how Nikki used to deal with these nightmares before he felt comfortable enough with the drummer to start coming to him in these low moments. Before Tommy, Nikki would grab the nearest bottle of liquor and just drink and drink until his eyes grew heavy and his mind was far too intoxicated to conjure up the disturbing images Nikki saw behind his eyelids when he closed them.

Before Tommy, liquor was an escape. Now it's less of a way of avoiding problems, more of a fun way to end a concert.

Before Tommy.

Nikki now separated his life experiences into two categories, before Tommy, and after Tommy. The drummer had shown Nikki what it is like to be loved, loved in a way Nikki never believed anyone could ever feel about towards him. His own parents didn't love him, but along came this curly haired boy who looked at Nikki like the sun shone out of his ass, and to Tommy it did.

Nikki didn't want to hurt this beautiful boy.

And so his sobs grew harder, his grip on Tommy's shirt tightened, as he tried to push Tommy's bruised and horrified face out of his mind.

Just fucking leave him, Nikki. Dont be a fucking selfish prick, do the right thing before you drag him down with you and damage him beyond repair.  He's too fucking bright for your broken ass, Nikki. Find someone as fucked up and as dark as you so you can make each other miserable and let him be happy.

"I can't hurt you", Nikki choked out against Tommy's chest. 

Nikki felt Tommy's hands still in his hair. Tommy sat frozen for just a moment, before pulling back to look at him, but Nikki pushed forward, trying desperately to keep his head in Tommy's chest. Not only was it comforting but this way he didn't have to look at Tommy.

It was a game Nikki's mind seemed to be playing with him. Dont look at Tommy, its gonna hurt to see all that worry and concern that you dont fucking deserve, but dont close you're eyes either. If you do, I'll show you all the fucked up, horrible things that you could do to this man, I'll make you watch him bleed.

"Nikki..."

Nikki could feel the word being spoken more than he could hear it, but he could make out the underlying concern and shock in the younger man's voice as he spoke. Nikki had never spoken to Tommy about these dreams, only about the ones that involved the memories of his shitty childhood, and Nikki wished more than anything he could quit being so selfish and just stop talking.

Tommy shouldn't have to deal with this. It's 4 AM,  they have an interview in the morning, and here Tommy was trying to pick up the shattered chunks of Nikki from their shared hotel bed and piece them back together.  That wasn't fair.

"Nikki."

This time Tommy's voice was firmer and Nikki knew he was going to have to deal with this. Tommy was absolutely not going to let up now that Nikki let those few words slip past his lips.

Tommy was the most stubborn, determined person Nikki knew, it was one of the things he loved about him so much, but right now he wished that his boyfriend could let this go. If he started talking, it was all going to come spewing out, he wasn't going to be able to stop it, and that was some deep shit for 4 in the fucking morning.

But still, Tommy wasn't going to give up, so Nikki pulled his head from the safety of Tommy's chest and met the drummer's sad, concerned brown orbs. 

"What did you dream about, baby?"

Nikki untangled his fingers from Tommy's shirt and reached up to wipe his face, trying to calm himself down. Anything to make those fucking worry lines disappear from Tommy's face, god knows he didn't deserve them.

"Nothing babe- honestly- same old shit." Nikki was a damn good liar to everyone in the world but Tommy, and he could practically feel the drummer refrain from rolling his eyes at him, and it made the slightest smile crack from underneath the mountains of pain. 

"What makes you think you're gonna hurt me, Nik?" Tommy questioned,  his eyes never leaving Nikki's, as if he could lure the truth right out of him using only his eyes. In reality, he probably could. 

Eventually. 

But for now, Nikki just shook his head, causing the frown marring Tommy's features to deepen. He could see Tommy's internal struggle. The drummer was a very open person, and he liked to talk shit out, didn't like to keep things buried inside. At the same time however, Tommy knew Nikki, and he knew not to push. He knew when to give Nikki comfort, and when to back off and let the bassist come to him. Nikki was nothing if not complicated, but Tommy had decoded him.

"I'm an asshole, Tom." Nikki groaned out, wanting nothing but to bury his head back into Tommy's chest and pretend like this conversation wasn't about to fucking happen.

"Well, yeah, but so am I dude." Nikki could see a flash of white teeth in the dim moonlight streaming through the hotel window,  and it made his heart seize up a little. "We both have our moments, Nik. But so does everyone else in the entire fucking world?"

"I have more than most, T-bone." Nikki was forced to keep his eyes open, to keep looking at Tommy, because every time he closed them he could see Sikki's warped face behind his lids and it made him fucking sick. 

"Do I seem the slightest bit unhappy to you, dude? You know I'm fucking soft, but I truly mean it when I say you mean the world to me. You're stuck with me, I'm not going anywhere baby."

Nikki let out a watery laugh, and if that wasn't the fucking issue right there. Nikki could be a fucking prick sometimes, and yeah, Tommy was right, so could the drummer if he was being honest,  although Nikki felt that some of that was his own influence rubbing off on the younger man. If worse came to worse, if these dreams become reality and Nikki turned into this monster like the creature he was raised by, would Tommy leave? Or would he try to stay, try to fix Nikki when Nikki wasn't capable of being fixed?

Nikki was afraid to know the answer.

"I know, Tom, I know.. I- I just.. if I ever get real fuckin mean.."

Nikki couldn't even finish that sentence. The Nikki he was now couldn't imagine laying a fucking hand on this gorgeous boy, the thought repulsed him. He couldn't fathom speaking those hate filled words that his mother used to say to him- words like disgusting and freak and faggot whore. Nikki would rather cut his fucking tongue out.

But that's today Nikki. Would future Nikki be the same? That dream played in Nikki's mind over and over, a repeating mantra inside his head, and nope. He has to make sure.

"Baby… I don't understand where this is coming from." Tommy looked so sad and confused, and when he raised his hand to touch Nikki's cheek he could feel the hesitance, as if he were afraid to spook Nikki and send him running back the wall he hid behind in his before Tommy era.

But Nikki was selfish, he needed this right now, he needed Tommy, and as much as his brain in his current, fucked up state of mind wanted to push Tommy away- fucking save yourself Tommy, don't fucking do this, I'll kill everything good inside of you,  just fucking go- he just couldnt help it. 

Once again, he was pushing his face into Tommy's hand, grabbing his shirt, tangling their legs together.

Fucking pathetic,  Nikki.

"Its coming from my dreams Tommy- my fucked up, horrible fucking dreams, and I swear to God, if they ever come true someone needs to just fucking kill me because-" Nikki was choking now, his emotions coming to strangle him- how fucking fitting.

Tommy was tilting Nikki's head up then, and Nikki was watching the concern grow deeper and deeper, and goddamit if he could just quit fucking talking. It was like Nikki was a disease, spewing out infection in the form of his words, and now it was seeping deeper into Tommy, when Tommy should be sleeping. He should be peaceful.  Not looking at Nikki with those eyes shining with concern and protectiveness, like he wanted to take Nikki's problems and lock them up in a box and bury the key in the deepest trench he could find.

"What the hell did you dream about..? Nik?"

Nikki's lips were wobbling has he tried to hold it together enough to speak. Did he really want to tell Tommy about this? He didn't want to scare him, to have Tommy living in fear of him. Not only that, but speaking that dream out loud was almost damning, it was something Nikki didn't even want to say out loud, the thought too ugly for him to put out into the universe. 

"It was.. I was with you.. and.." was Nikki really about to spill his guts like this at 4 in the fucking morning in some hotel he didnt even know the fucking name of? He was getting irritated at the tears that wouldn't quit falling, but at the same time they were comforting. She never cried, neither did all of her piece of shit fuck buddies that loved to smack Nikki around as a kid. Nikki was happy that he could at least feel emotions.

Nikki would have laughed at the thought of spilling all this to someone this easily- despite the fact he was still struggling- before he met Tommy. It was just one more way that the drummer had changed the world Nikki existed in.

"All the fucking bullshit that Deana has said to me over the years, all this shit that cut me the most, I was fucking screaming it at you, T." Nikki couldn't say the actual words dream Nikki had spewed out, he didn't think his vocal cords would even let him, but Tommy didn't ask him to. He just held Nikki's gaze as he stroked his face, silently encouraging him go on. 

"And your- your fucking face." Nikki was choking out these words now and it was pouring out of him, without his consent or control. It was so scary to him how easily Tommy had the ability to just open up the parts of Nikki's mind that he tried to keep closed off from the world. "It was all fucked up, bruises everywhere,  black eyes, fingerprints and- you know I don't remember everything in my dreams- thank fucking god, but I know where they came from, T-Bone, and I swear to fucking god, if I ever-"

"Nikki, stop." Tommy didn't look scared,  he didn't look like he was about to run away, or check Nikki into the nearest mental institution so this was already going a lot better than Nikki could have hoped for. 

Tommy flopped backwards on his back, staring up at the ceiling now, raising an arm and gesturing for Nikki to tuck himself under it, and that was exactly what Nikki did. Not for himself, of course, but when could he ever deny Tommy anything?

"Do you remember that night we first got together?"

Nikki smiled against Tommy's chest, while his fingers slipped under Tommy's shirt to draw patterns on the drummers skin while he listened. Of course he remembered that day, the best day of his life, the day a new era of Nikki's life could finally begin. Nikki didn't trust his voice at the moment, so he just gave a slight nod against Tommy's chest, his hair tickling Tommy's chin with the motion.

"I'm so fucking greatful I remember that day at all, I did so much cocaine and drank so much Jack it's honestly a miracle that I do."

Tommy was rubbing Nikki's back now, and Nikki was surprised to discover that not only had his tears slowed a bit, but he could now close his eyes and listen to Tommy's angelic fucking voice without seeing his own twisted face on the back of his eyelids. Nikki let out a sigh, snuggling as close to Tommy's warmth as he could.

"One thing I remember the most about that night is how fucking terrified I was after my drunk ass kissed you. I was so scared, Nikki, because you were my best friend, you were my perfect match, but you couldn't have loved me, not the way I loved you."

Nikki was unsure of where Tommy was going with this story, but it made his heart swell thinking about that night. Maybe that was the whole point. 

"But you took such good care of me that night. I was a fucking mess, covered in puke and broken glass, huddled behind a dumpster, wanting the Earth to just swallow me whole." Nikki could feel Tommy's breath hitch when he let a sigh out, and felt a kiss being pressed the top of his head, feather light, like Nikki was made of glass.

" l remember it all so clearly, somehow. Trying to give me your jacket, kneeling in fucking puke holding me while I fucking sobbed like I don't think I ever have before, taking me home, changing my clothes, kissing away every doubt in my mind. You took care of me with this fucking tenderness, you know? Tenderness that that evil woman who gave birth to you, doesn't possess in her fucking body. You've been through horrible things Nik, things that I wouldn't have fucking survived. Things you never deserved."

Nikki was crying again,  he could feel his whole body shaking in Tommy's arms as the drummer tightened his grip on him. These tears were different though. These were tears of gratitude. Thank god he had Tommy to help him through this, Nikki never thought he would have something like this. 

"I can't take away your past, Nikki. I would give up everything I own and fucking hold dear to take it away but I can't. All I know is that I'm fucking here, and I know you, Sixx. Better than you know yourself. You won't ever become those people in your past because you're not them. I know your heart, Nikki, you can't fucking hide it from me."

Nikki pulled back from Tommy to look in his eyes, his heart absolutely about to burst with love for the younger man, and when he looked into Tommy's eyes, he could see the same love reflected back at him, even in the dim light that the moon provided them. He could also see the remnants of tears in Tommy's eyes too, a sharp contrast to the smile playing on his perfect pink lips. 

Nikki couldn't respond to that,  what could he possibly even say? So he just murmured out a string of words that sounded vaguely like 'I love you' and pushed himself forward, finally connecting their lips and finally pulling Nikki completely out of the prison his mind had formed for him when his body woke himself up from the nightmare.

Feeling Tommy's lips lazily move against his own, feeling the slight upturn of the drummer's lips as they kissed, Nikki knew this is where the universe wanted him to be. This man was worth fighting and clawing every demon Nikki had, because he deserved the fucking world, and Nikki was going to give it to him.

"I love you, Nik, and I always will." Tommy's voice sounded as tired as Nikki felt, finally felt, as Nikki made a happy sound in the back of his throat and murmured back a response. He had no idea if his reply made any sense, he was half asleep again already, but the happy chuckle the drummer let out, and the lips pressing against his temple let Nikki know that even if he hadn't replied with real words, Tommy understood. Tommy always understood.

Being with this hyperactive, passionate, beautiful boy made him happy, but more importantly he made him feel human, and that was what Nikki had been searching for all these years. Something to make him feel alive. 

And now he has it, and he's sleeping in it's arms tonight. 

[ultradiplr]

Sleep Aid

A Si/Oc x Sigma fanfiction

Plot: Uahi and Sigma are up late from insomnia, stressed and jittery from the day’s activities, they decide to do something to relax.

Tags: Mutual M, Age Difference, Size Difference, Original Female Character, Dirty Talk. Literally just “What if we did X? Haha, just kidding…. Unless?” Comedy-ish. Bad porno. Idk man.

A/N: Self indulgent AF because I’ve decided I need to establish that Uahi and SIgma have “that” kind of relationship - Just a couple of buddies being pals and doing a little bonding. Also The Beast: Part 2 is still getting written, I just had a rough few days and wrote this dumb thing to make myself feel better.

Xx

Uahi laid on what constituted as Sigma’s bed in his lab as she watched him write and rewrite an equation on a board. Her eyes followed the motions of his hands droopily, exhausted from the day’s training yet stupidly wide awake, untapped stores of energy still inside her with no way of getting out at this time at night.

Sigma was in much the same boat, exhausted by a tedious little meeting that went on much later than he expected. Tired yet completely alert, his mind running through a million things at once, a million things that could be done tomorrow, yet his body was forcing him to do them now, even as the numbers and letters he wrote were starting to look more and more like gibberish to his straining eyes. 

The two of them usually sat up late together like this, both insomniacs on even their best days, but tonight just felt especially ridiculous as the clock ticked by, showing the time in bold red numbers.

03:00 AM.

Uahi stretched out on his bed which was much, much larger than her and custom made to fit Sigma’s large body, usually it was a delightful haven for her sore and battered body after a long training day, but tonight it just felt so.. Uncomfortable. No matter how much she twisted and turned, no matter the weird angle she tried to place her limbs in, no matter what she tried she just could not get comfortable.

“Siiiiigmaaaa.” She groaned, loudly, defeated.

Sigma sighed and wiped down his board again, whatever he had written not making any sense to him. “Yes?” He asked, hearing Uahi groan.

“I’m tired.” She grumbles behind him, saying similar multiple times tonight.

“I know, but what can we do?” He says with a sigh, going back to writing… something, on the board.

“Masturbate.” She says before letting out a long “Ayyyyyy.”

Sigma cracks a tired smile at the sound of her fake bostonian accent, easily imagining her shooting him finger guns while saying it. He rolls his eyes a little. Even while completely exhausted his friend didn’t miss an opportunity for a crude joke, how admirable. 

A stretch of silence settled between them, with only the squeaking of his pen against the board as Sigma wrote another batch of equations and Uahi’s steady breathing as she stared up at the ceiling and watched a few wisps of her hair flow above her. 

The idea felt like it hung in the air between them. The two had always been pretty flirtatious with one another, dirty jokes and innuendos a common part of their bantering, but for some reason this instance felt… different. Maybe it was the lack of sleep lowering their inhibitions but the idea of getting off right now sounded really… nice. The total relaxation afterward would probably make trying to sleep easier. It’s worked for them, separately, before...

Doing it now wasn’t that much different from doing it alone… right?

“Haha, that’s a weird thought, right?” She laughed awkwardly and sat up a little on her forearms, looking over at him. 

Sigma is blushing as he looks back at her, too tired to really try and hide it and Uahi unconsciously bites her lip at the sight, he’s always looked so handsome when he blushed. His eyes roamed her body, taking in her relaxed pose and the loose sleeping clothes she wore, admiring her curves and muscles and the intricate tattoos on her arms before his eyes slid up to her face lingering on her lips for a moment before meeting her gaze.

“Unless…” His tone has shifted just a little and it’s her turn to blush, causing him to smile. 

It wasn’t that different… right?

Sigma put his pen down and gently drifted toward Uahi on his bed, who sat up completely and shuffled back until her back hit a wall, eyes locked with his as he came closer and cheeky smile plastered on her face. 

“Damn, didn’t know it was so easy to get you into bed.” She teased as he sat down on the edge and took off his day clothes, throwing them to the side, and leaving himself in an undershirt and boxer briefs.

“To be fair, this is my bed,” He scooted back until his back met the wall next to her, dwarfing her a little in comparison to him, even sitting down, “What should it mean that you’re already here?”

“That you can’t take a hint.” She stuck her tongue out at him and he chuckled.

Settling in next to her, his legs outstretched in front of him, he stretched and yawned, relaxing against the wall, already feeling a sort of warmth pool at the pit of his stomach, the reality of what they were going to do slowly seeping into him.

Uahi felt a little jittery, excitement and embarrassment mixing into a concoction that made her want to both get on with it and to just get up and leave right now, filling her with more restless energy.

They sat silently next to each other, neither knowing exactly how to start, before she piped up “You wanna see my favorite porno?” she asked.

“What?” That sort of caught him off guard and he blinked down at her, face going red again.

“I mean, we’re not just going to try and do this alone, right?” She asked as she got on her knees and crawled toward the edge of the bed, reaching under it.

“I guess not,” He started, looking off to the side a little, feeling a little sheepish. “truth be told, I didn’t really think about it.”

She snorted and brought up his smartpad, talon issued, and most likely monitored. He tried not to use it much outside of his work because of that, but it seemed Uahi had no qualms with using it for any personal activity she wanted as she scooted back next to him, already tapping away in the search menu. As a video loaded up, the title of witch he didn’t catch, she held it up in front of them, and knowing what she wanted without her asking, he suspended it in the air. It was a little funny, they’ve done similar for watching normal movies together, ironic that they’d do the same for a dirty one.

Uahi leaned against him as the video started playing, and she smiled when he heard him scoff at the title, “O-asis University 7: The Hard Professor.” 

“Really? This your favorite dirty movie?” He asked as he watched the video open with a stock video of the city and university.

“Oh, so you’ve seen it before.” She said, wriggling her eyebrows.

He rolled his eyes and scoffed, smiling, “No, but I’ve heard of the series… can’t believe they made seven.”

“They’ve made thirty actually, but I dropped off after seventeen.” She said nonchalantly.

The scene transitioned into a classroom set, shot on a cheap camera of course, though he could give them props for somehow finding something similar to the actual rooms at the University, at least from what he could remember.

“Why did you drop it?” He asked, the talking easing him into the fact he really was going to watch a porno with her.

“Recasting mostly,” She shrugged, “My two favorite actors had such good chemistry, when they got replaced it just wasn’t the same.”

There were two characters on screen, an older but handsome man wearing an ill fitting and cheap looking suit, obviously the ‘hard” professor, and a woman wearing an equally cheap looking knock off of the uniforms there only more… revealing. Their  innuendo filled dialogue was a bit cringy on paper, but the delivery was actually done pretty well, by porn parody standards. Sigma snorted at a particularly awful joke and Uahi giggled, and it went on like that through the painful introduction. When it finally got to actual sex he had to admit, it seemed almost believable, and sort of personal, but it wasn’t really his cup of tea if he was being honest.

He looked over to Uahi to make an observation about the whiteboard in the background containing an interesting equation but when he saw the way her eyes focused on the screen, face red, and worrying her lip between her teeth, he was shut up instantly, feeling his blood run hot at the sight.He watched as Uahi began to fidget a little, her hands balling into her shirt as she watched with rapt attention, legs subtly rubbing together as she got worked up. It was strangely cute… and very arousing. He felt himself harden a little as she shifted around, pressing her thighs together as the scene turned rougher.

Uahi meanwhile was just too focused on what was unfolding to notice Sigma’s staring, the sense of drama and story elements always able to suck her in before the fucking really solidified her attention. She loved the series with her whole heart, and the unfolding relationship between Professor Richard Longhard and Kitty Galore was always her favorite sub plot, plus they were both hot as all hell. 

As the dear professor bent his student over his desk and began teasing her with a light spanking, Uahi’s fingers just about dipped into the waistband of her sleeping shorts, only pulling at it slightly, holding off from actually touching herself due to where she was, still sort of hesitant. 

Sigma noticed this and held back a groan, a hand cupping himself through his boxers as the other flexed on his thigh, attention completely on Uahi as she became a bigger and bigger mess, hair rising higher and higher she got hotter and hotter. 

There was a loud moan coming from the screen and Sigma looked back at it and caught the “hard professor.” slowly stuffing his large meat into the smaller woman while he leaned over her on the desk, whispering something in her ear.

“He has such a pretty dick.” Uahi’s voice came out strained, tinted by the faintest whine but full of desire.

“Not the sort of description I would use.” Sigma said, trying to hold back the waver in his voice as he watched too.

Uahi smiled, “Why, what does your dick look like?~” she teased, wiggling her eyebrows, leaning up into his side.

He gulped and nudged her back playfully, causing her to giggle, “Perfectly normal, if you must know.” 

“Really, not old and wrinkly like you?” She teased harder, hand snaking its way up and into the side of his shirt, small and hot against his skin, tickling his ribs a little.

He swatted her away again, laughing, and she giggled, shifting so that her back was toward the hovering smartpad now and looking at him, “Come on, out with it, I wanna see~” She said, looking at him expectantly, face red with a large, goofy smile.

He chuckled, nerves kind of on fire now that her attention was all on him with his erection so painfully obvious in his briefs. He shifted a little, feeling awkward. He didn’t want to stop, but he definitely didn’t want to be the only one who was exposed.

Uahi saw his hesitance and she realized she probably should break the ice a little first. Quickly, so as not to let herself lose confidence, she pulled her shorts off her legs and threw them over the side of the bed.

His breath hitched, his eyes went wide, his face somehow grew hotter and his hard cock throbbed as Uahi crawled over his leg and sat between his knees, which he widened to make room for her. She sat down and slowly opened her legs for him, making his mouth grow dry as she revealed her wet core to him. 

She felt emboldened by his focused, wide eyed but dazed stare at her, fighting to urge to cover herself as she leaned back onto her forearms. “Your turn, old man.” She said with a wink, and shot him the smuggest smile she could muster in her slowly dizzying state.

Sigma gulped, eyes focused on her glistening lips, as his thumbs hooked into his  waistband, slowly lowering it down. His cock sprang up as the cloth moved off it, hitting him softly in his stomach, and he heard Uahi’s breath hitch at the sight. His gaze moved to her face, and the look she was giving him matched the way she was looking at the video earlier, making his cock throb and his heart clench.

It was not in fact, wrinkly or old, or “perfectly normal” either, he was huge, thick and long, and with a sprinkling of salt and pepper hair at the base. Already leaking a little, and having a beautifully delicious red tip, it made her mouth water.

“It’s uh…  wow… you’re big.” Her voice sounded breathless and he smiled inwardly at it, his ego and confidence getting a sizable boost from that.

“Think I match up with Professor Longhard?” He joked, and she snorted a laugh,

“Honestly I think you’re bigger.” And it was his turn to laugh.

This felt good, nice, two friends just.. Hanging out. 

Uahi leaned over to one arm as her other hand snaked up from beside her and petted her mound in front of him, not touching herself, but just teasing a little. Sigma hummed in approval and his own hand began to lightly feel up his cock, even with his hand wrapped around it at his base a good five inches stood out of his grasp. She drooled a little at the sight and moved her fingers lower over her sex, lightly running it around her lips. She shivered at the feeling, but Sigma could do nothing more than watch and start to move his own hand on his hard cock.

Uahi slipped her own fingers between her slick folds, gathering the wetness and spreading them around, loving the way Sigma moaned at the sight, his hand slightly picking up speed. She spread herself with her fingers with a wink and actually laughed at the way he choked.

“You’re a dirty girl, you know that?” He said with a glare, his hand squeezing himself for more delicious pressure.

“Mhmm, a dirty girl for a dirty old man.” She replied, licking her lips and fluttering her eyes in a very faux sexy manner which made him roll his eyes.

She slipped a finger in herself carefully, and Sigma groaned as he watched it disappear, hand following her speed. She tensed a little at it, more sensitive than she expected, and let out a shaky sigh. She slipped another finger in too, and began to pump them into herself in a steady rhythm, moaning as he began to leak pre at the sight.

“So Beautiful.” The words slipped from his mouth without realizing it, and her body flushed darker.

She moaned and fell back to free her other arm, hand going to rub at her clit, his words hitting her like a freight train with desire. She rolled her hips, the new stimulation putting her closer and closer to the edge.

She was watching him, pupils blown wide with desire, turning her dark brown eyes almost black. He groaned at the sight of her, laid almost bare before him, looking at him with hunger, playing with herself in front of him, watching him, watching his hands and face and his swollen cock. He shifted, shaking as he did, and arched over her, one arm bracing himself next to her head as he continued rutting into his hand, the tip of his cock so achingly close to her core.

“What are you thinking of?” he asked, breathlessly above her flustered face, head framed by the twisting and writhing wisps of her hair..

She bit her lip, looking off to the side, “Y-you.” She said, her voice needy and… vulnerable.

His heart fluttered at the admission and the tone, “And what about me?” He asks, hotly yet tenderly.

She whines and her hips leave the bed for a moment, “Fuck.. i don’t know, just… your stupid handsome face and your stupid big cock and just...” she grinds out before shutting her eyes tightly and taking a moment to breath.

His hand cups her face with his free hand and she leans into it, when she opens her eyes, they’re dark and focused, a dangerous, hungry look.

“I’m thinking about you Sigma, and you, splitting me open.” Her voice was shaky, needy, wanton. 

She lifts her hips again, rolling them, making the faintest hint of contact between them  and making him moan and stutter his hips. She laughed breathlessly, nuzzling into his hand, 

“I want you to ruin me~” She said, fluttering her eyes, and taking his thumb into her mouth.

He flexed his thumb in her mouth to push on her tongue, moaning at the feel of her soft wet mouth as he hunched over her, imagining himself doing what she asked. Of him dipping his hips lower, just a bit lower, and hilting inside her in one hard thrust. Thrusting inside her at a brutal pace, causing her to scream, to beg, to cry for him. To hold onto him like her life depended on it as he fucked her open, more open than she probably ever been. God, he wanted to ruin her too, wanted to touch and taste and just… destroy her.

He squeezed his cock as he felt his balls tighten, his climax coming soon at the images she’s conjuring up, but he didn’t want to cum, not yet, not until she does.

He dipped his head down next to her, “You’d be such a good girl you’d let me do that, right? Let me tear you open? Use you? Would that make you happy?” He whispered into her ear, a bit frantic but  dripping with arousal.

She nodded her head a little, his thumb in her mouth, whining around the finger, her hips picking up more as her fingers worked herself faster. He joined her in that fact, thrusting harder into his tight, wet hand above her, frantically trying to chase and hold off his own end.

“You look so pretty like this, such a pretty mess, and a mess all for me.” His words where making her stomach flip and twist, too soft, too tender, too loving, she wanted to cry and laugh and kiss him and hear him say more, but she felt herself starting to peak and she could do nothing but cry out around his thumb.

“S-si-gma.” Her broken sob made his heart clench as she tensed up under him.

Seeing her come undone was a trigger for his own and he muffled his cry in the mattress as he bit down beside her head. He tensed and shook as he tried to keep himself up, feeling himself empty a thick load, his hand pumping every last drop out of him as he chased the high longer. When he finally finished, he collapsed beside her, panting.

A few minutes of them doing nothing but panting and contemplating what they just did passed before Uahi broke the silence again with a laugh, a genuine, bubbly laugh, that had him joining quiet easily.

“I can’t believe we just did that.” She said clapping a hand over her eyes, astonished

“Me neither, that was quite an… experience.” He looked at her, smiling, still a little out of breath. “Are you alright?”

She turned and faced him, scooting closer, “Yeah, I am, it was fun.” she said with a yawn.

He wrapped an arm around her and brought her into his side until she could rest her head on his shoulder, “I guess it’s finally time to sleep.”

The two began to drift asleep, warmth seeped into their bones, completely relaxed against each other, and basking in the warmth of each other's presence. As they were on the cusp of sleep a thought occurred to Uahi,

“Sigma, what happened to the smartpad?”

[superrcell]

ooooo for the video game ask thing botw or ffxv!!! :3c (sorry if thats a bit boring but im so interested in hearing ur thoughts about those soundtracks! :D)

hdsjkghjk dw those are both great i would love to talk about them and im doing both because. i never get a chance to talk about them and i have nothing better to do so long post time

botw

Fav Character Theme

tbh... revali’s theme, actually. i dont like revali all that much but his theme is so so beautiful i love it so much. i dont think i really realized how much i love his theme until just about right now, actually. i also love sidon’s theme, but i think that revali’s is actually my favorite. 

Fav Area Theme

hmm.... i think the hyrule castle interior, honestly. though the stables theme is also really up there. hyrule castle is just really nice and i love the atmosphere it has, but also the stables just... makes me feel safe its always so nice to hear it off in the distance when playing. oh and also the flight range... its so pretty. ohhh and the sheikah tower theme.... this is so hard so many areas of the game are so good. 

Fav Battle Theme

tbh... i think the talus battle theme! idk its just really good ghdsgk i really think that it really perfectly captures fighting just a big rock + i love the mix of the instruments that are playing + i dont hear it too often. i really like the guardian battle theme, too, though, but i think that the talus battle theme is slightly better because idk.. it doesnt feel as... empty as the middle part of the guardian battle theme? yeah. 

WAIT I FORGOT ABOUT THE MOLDUGA THEME. ITS THAT ONE DEFINITELY. ive listened to this one so so much its soooo so good. ESPECIALLY the second half. i love those string instruments.

Fav Boss/Final Boss Theme

absolutely divine beast vah ruta’s theme... vah medoh’s comes in second but something about vah ruta’s has just really stuck with me. its just so so so beautiful. i think its because it really reminds me of the first time i was doing the quest.. idk the music just perfectly captures the moment.

Personal Fav Theme

its really really hard to choose because i love literally everything else ive mentioned, but i think its the dragon’s theme. like... literally everything about that song is so good, and hearing it in-game... its just really so good. 

A song you didn’t like at first but grew to like

i dont know if i didnt like it at first, though i probably did, but the cave theme, i think. idk its just really.. idk not something i would normally like, and the high notes are kinda uneasy to listen to somewhat, but i love hearing it in the game it just. makes for a really good atmosphere, makes me feel safe. idk i love it a lot now. i also really have to mention i love the field (freezing cold) song... like i love love love the cold song and i dont think i wouldve ever enjoyed this as much as i do because its not really like? that much of a song? but yeah i love it. 

One of the first songs you heard from the game

i would say the main theme! i never saw any of the trailers beforehand, so the first song i heard was just... the first song in the game! and its a really really good song so.

A song that gets you pumped

i know i just mentioned these two but really divine beast vah ruta and vah medoh’s themes really do. like theyre just so good.. but something i havent mentioned: the divine beasts strike! (and then really all dark beast/calamity ganon songs but gdhjsgkjsj) 

A song that makes you happy

tbh, i think the song in link’s memory with the silent princess! its hard to find songs that make me really like... happy, ig, but this part is like.  my favorite memory it makes me so happy watching and listening to the song reminds me of it. and then also i think the main theme! because im sentimental gdbsjkghjkds

A song that makes you sad

idk! i dont know any songs really make me all that sad, either. i think ill say the epilogue because again im. sentimental 😢

The song you like least from the game

i think tarrey town actually x_x its not bad but its just so annoying when it comes up on the playlist because its. 10 minutes long of almost the same song. but its really really cool how it changes! though for a song that i dont like because of the music, hm... im just going through the ost right now and i dont like divine beast vah rudania’s theme. i also dont like the themes when youre inside the beasts that much, either, or the [x]blight ganon themes that much. this is too many songs huh gdhsjkghkds

theres so many other songs i looove but weren’t able to put here just know i love the entire ost basically. 

ffxv

Fav Character Theme

um... i definitely have to say home sweet home because i love prompto. i also love love love noctis’ theme (especially this version which i just now really listened to) but also like... i just love prompto so much gdhjksgk 

Fav Area Theme

this is impossible to answer because i just want to say literally every overworld theme from prompto’s dlc buuuut also i love wanderlust!! especially the old version!!!!! idk so many area themes are so so good in ffxv but ill just go with overworld themes here.

Fav Battle Theme

🤔 this is actually a lot harder than i thought it would be? so many are pretty good, except maybe the daemon ones... hearing all of them, i think maybe invidia, actually! idk it isnt one that i think i would get annoyed with if it were to play a lot, but all of them are really good!

Fav Boss/Final Boss Theme

absoooollluuutteeeelllyyy the somnus battle theme from the ardyn dlc like idc about the actual battle, or even somnus tbh, but the song somnus has always been my favorite song from the game and this was like OISIFUDSGUSDFHGSDHGIOSHGDSDFSHJGHDSGGJDSKGJKDS especially because of ardyn’s theme which i ALSO love like iaigjdsiogdsgiovdsjovfjiodjifdjbfdigjs ITS SO GOOD .. . . .. 

Personal Fav Theme

like i said, the somnus theme you hear in insomnia ... ive always loved it because i love songs where its like a remix (or, really just the original song) when youre in a different place, and the feeling of going through insomnia with this playing over the speakers... just an immensely wonderful experience its absolutely my favorite part of the entire game. theres a lot of other songs i love, but this has been my favorite for so long i just cant like... say its Not my favorite.

A song you didn’t like at first but grew to like

it was one of the battle themes from promptos dlc, like it was the first one so it mightve been trigger? idk it was one of them that wasnt like really the same as the other battle themes before it, but now i cant even 100% find the song i didnt like because i love all the battle themes from prompto’s dlc sm ghdjskgkj. i think its because of the song which i put as the one i dont like really made me appreciate everything more.

One of the first songs you heard from the game

oh, huh... i would think that it would be the same as botw, where the first song i heard is the first song that plays, so somnus instrumental! maybe? i cant really remember but yeah i think i first just watched my little brother play it from the start of the game! maybe ....

A song that gets you pumped

theres so many and i think the somnus battle theme which i already mentioned is especially one, but other than that, hm.. yeah i think thats it! idk i dont know many other songs that make me that FHDSHGDSG you know? 

A song that makes you happy

hm... maybe rodeo de chocobo! nothing bad happening, just some big birds c: yeah, not many are really that upbeat so this one is kinda an easy pick ghdjksgds

A song that makes you sad

oh everything in prompto’s dlc. but no ghjkdsjgk from the main game, probably dewdrops at dawn. idk like theres other parts of the game that are sadder, but just like... idk when i hear the song i can remember the whole cutscene, and the view of the world turning back to light and its just... i love it. it doesnt make me like really sad but idk... that sort of area of emotions dhjsgkj but yeah. but not from the main game, hm... promptos feelings/home sweet home from prompto’s dlc. i feel like its. pretty self explanatory ghdjkshg

The song you like least from the game

oh absolutely the song in insomnia in ardyn’s dlc ive always hated it. it just feels so out of place with the entire rest of the soundtrack and it's definitely not the kind of music i like fhjdskghjkds

anyways stan prompto

[jkjmemory]

I hate this feeling, I hate this night . Yoonkook .

Summary: The nights are Yoongi’s worst enemy; his bad brain is always harder to handle when the world around him is just as dark as his own thoughts.

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Min Yoongi Genre: Angst, tiny bits of Fluff Word Count: 3355 Read on: ao3, and if the links on this dumbass site worked properly, i would also link the work but.....@/staff please fix this site please wtf if you wanna know my ao3 to read more of my works, feel free to dm me or send me an ask!! 💓💓 A/N: Another two-day work that was originally Taegi but then turned into Yoonkook somewhere along the way idk? 😅 Can barely even be considered a one-shot tbh, it's more of a character study that's been sitting in my drafts for the longest time and I just wanted to finally get out of the way lol The title is from Key's 'One of those nights' which is such a lovely song 🤕💜 I know next to nothing about Insomnia btw and as always, Jungkook's anxiety is based on my own experience! If there are any major errors please let me know.

Hope you enjoy!! 💘 💘

Jungkook has always liked the city after dark. He likes its lights, the way they remain predictably in exactly the same places in familiar windows and street lamps and skyscrapers every night. He likes the cleanness of the sky when the smog lifts, and he likes how the evening veils the noises the people make. Nights give him a safe feeling, a maybe-people-will-stop-watching-me-now feeling.  Here on the tiny balcony the wind climbing up the walls of the apartment building makes Jungkook’s pajama shirt dance and a shiver crawl up his spine. Yoongi stops trying to light his cigarette for a second and glances at him. Elbows on the railing and head low between his shoulders, his eyes flick up towards Jungkook and he brushes his hair back behind his ear, abashedly, almost. Like he doesn’t really want the younger to see him smoke his way through another sleepless night.

“You should go back,” Yoongi says, and flicks the lighter again, the flame immediately dying in the wind. Yoongi curses under his breath; thin hands come up and cup the end of the cigarette. Jungkook just shrugs and crosses his arms, scratches at the hairs behind his ear.

“I like this better, Hyung,” he says. Yoongi’s eyelid twitches, and with a sigh and a sniffle, he squats down. Jungkook watches as the elder tugs one of the flat cushions they keep out here towards himself, sitting with his feet against the railing and curling his spine. Between his torso and his thighs, Jungkook hears the flick of the lighter.

“Should I get your jacket?” he asks after a while of Yoongi still busying himself with the cigarette; the other lets out a halfhearted snort.

“’m good, thanks.”

Yoongi shifts; the flame of the lighter shines for a second, and then, finally, the tip of the cigarette catches it. Jungkook watches Yoongi take the first inhale, pocket his lighter and lean his head back against the frame of the screen door, closing his tired eyes.

He’s always closing his eyes. Like it hurts to look at things, maybe it does.

Jungkook pads back into the living room, to the couch, where one of the others left their hoodie lying around. He takes it, pulls it over his head, smells sweat and coffee, thinks ‘Namjoon’ and in a second, he’s back at the screen door, sitting down cross-legged next to Yoongi, hands in his lap. And then they’re quiet.  They’re quiet for a long time, unmoving, and Jungkook’s eyelids are growing dangerously heavy when Yoongi finally says something.

„You don’t have to do this every single time, “Yoongi says in a mumble around the second cigarette which he’s been trying to light for the past minute or so. Jungkook glances up, and when Yoongi meets his eye steadily and deliberately, he flinches and looks further up, up, up and away. Eye contact is a dangerous thing.

What Yoongi means is that Jungkook doesn’t have to forgo his sleep to watch Yoongi chain smoke the night hours away. He doesn’t have to stay with Yoongi, Yoongi, who has stopped being able to sleep a couple weeks back. Jungkook doesn’t have to slip out of his bed silently and follow to wherever Yoongi takes them at 2 am, be it the set of swings on the playground two street corners over or the dark, deserted river banks halfway across the city.  It doesn’t matter; where Yoongi goes with his hunched shoulders, cigarette pack, empty hands, Jungkook follows.

He isn’t quite sure why he does it, really. He just doesn’t like the thought of Yoongi out alone in the middle of the night. And Jungkook’s own restlessness keeps him up way past the other members’ bedtime, as well. So, if they’re both not sleeping, anyway, they might as well spend that time together.

Tonight, on the balcony, he followed because he got scared.

When Yoongi got out of bed this time, Jungkook stayed where he was, lay there for a minute, firmly set on not following this time until he heard the screen door open and he remembered that their dorm was on the 11th floor, high, high up, and the railing was easy to climb, and Yoongi was not to be trusted. And he jumped out of bed and followed, after all.

Yoongi is right, he doesn’t have to do this every single time, but he doesn’t mind. He’s alone all night with Yoongi and he doesn’t mind, doesn’t mind at all.

He shifts a little, tugs at the drawstrings of his hoodie and ties them in an attempt to keep the wind from slipping its fingers into his collar. Yoongi by now has managed to light the cigarette, exhales smoke with a sigh, and Jungkook worries for a second that Namjoon might smell the cold smoke on his hoodie in the morning. He tugs his knees up towards his chest, mirroring Yoongi’s seat and worrying his lower lip between his teeth.

„Does it bother you? When I’m here, does it? “

Yoongi seems to consider this for a long time, and Jungkook feels sick to the stomach, desperately wishes he could see his face because he’s been wondering for so long now, if Yoongi even wants him here like this. But Yoongi has his hair in his face and is turning the cigarette between index finger and thumb contemplatively, then putting it back between his lips. His cheeks hollow slightly around his inhale, and Jungkook wonders just how much weight Yoongi has lost over this, this pain he’s been nursing for reasons unknown.

Yoongi doesn’t sleep, but during the day, he throws himself into practice, into work even more so, even though they just got through a comeback and their schedule is pretty timid for the next month or so. He exhausts himself, perhaps even hoping that if he’s just tired enough at the end of the day, maybe sleep will come to him, but it never does. The toll this cycle has taken on his mind is tangible and the toll it has taken on his body is visible, and Jungkook just wishes there was something he could do to help him. But Yoongi doesn’t want help. Jungkook is pretty sure he is more annoyed than happy to have him around as it is.

His train of thought makes him even more fidgety. He brings his hand up to his mouth, sniffs the cuff of the hoodie, chews on his thumbnail, avoids looking at Yoongi. The night is quiet and so is the other boy and Jungkook hates quiet sometimes, he really fucking does.

“Well, no.”

By the time Yoongi finally replies, Jungkook’s heart is beating a little too fast, lungs pressing into his ribcage on every inhale that he’s trying to keep as deep and calm as possible. Deep down, he hates himself for this, for the fact that every little thing can set him off just like that. A minor inconvenience and Jungkook’s breathing comes heavy, his eyes go wide. It all makes him feel childish and like he’s not in control, but he can’t help it, he likes Yoongi so much. So much. And he’s so worried and his mouth feels dry, stale, Jungkook wills the dizziness away, no, he doesn’t want to do this right now.

Yoongi reaches forward and flicks the ashes of his cigarette over the edge of the balcony. Glowing for another fragment of a second, they blow away, and Jungkook clings onto his elbows, tension in his shoulders that he doesn’t know how to let go. He sniffles, and Yoongi tilts his head, eyes him from beneath hooded lids, takes a drag, and Jungkook holds his heavy gaze for just about a second until he can’t anymore. He looks down, makes himself small, wonders what it would take to stop having a physical form that people could look at. Dangerous, terrifying eye contact, what if they all see, what if they all notice – he’s not even sure what he wants to hide so badly.  His lip is shaking. He feels pathetic, and Yoongi stands and leans over the railing again, away from Jungkook, which doesn’t make it better at all, and Jungkook wipes his eyes quickly with his sleeve.

“Then don’t push me away, Hyung, not me,” he manages, all shaky. Yoongi, again, doesn’t give him much more than a tilt of the head, and Jungkook fucking hates this so much. Why can’t they just have normal conversations, why can’t Yoongi just put in that little effort, why, why, Jungkook knows exactly why and he knows just how toxic his thoughts are, but his mind is running in overdrive all the time and he can’t really help it, no matter how well he means. Logically, he knows Yoongi isn’t doing this to hurt him. He isn’t doing it to hurt anyone, this locking-himself-away thing. He does it because he only has so much energy to spare when he’s fighting a battle against a mind that won’t let him live, won’t let him sleep, even.

But Jungkook can’t take it, he can’t take the uncertainty and he can’t take the isolation. All the other members don’t seem to be having the same problems as him, they know Yoongi just gets like this sometimes, and Jungkook knows this too, and Jimin told him to give Yoongi more time to sort his mind out, but Jungkook has a restless mind of his own. And it overinterprets and it worries, and he just needs to know that Yoongi doesn’t hate him because he can’t tell anymore, he really can’t.

“Don’t push me away, you know what it does to me,” he tries again. Yoongi has finished his cigarette, stubbed it out on the railing and is reaching into his pocket for the pack to take out the next one. Jungkook distantly wonders when Yoongi even picked up smoking and how he has never thought about this before, and how Yoongi is hiding his bad habit from the managers. He doesn’t know. It unsettles him, how little he knows about him. He sometimes thinks it’s not his place to worry about Yoongi when really, how close are they? Are they even close? Were they ever close?

“You should go back inside,” Yoongi says. Hands close around the tip of the cigarette, the lighter flicks, Jungkook wants to scream. He shakes his head defiantly.

“I won’t,” he bites. Yoongi turns his head fully now, and Jungkook can feel his eyes on him. He takes a drag, and just looks at Jungkook, looks and looks silently and then crouches down next to him again. Heels to the ground, elbows to his knees, he gets on eye-level with Jungkook and says his name softly, Jungkook-ah, he says, until Jungkook meets his eyes with a small whine. Yoongi’s eyes are still hooded, sleepy, and there’s a softness there that Jungkook wasn’t prepared for. Quickly, quickly he wants to look away but Yoongi touches his shoulder gently, albeit briefly.

“I don’t want you losing sleep over me.” Smoke curls from the cigarette. Jungkook watches it disperse, and then glances back up at the other.

„Let me, though,” he murmurs, and Yoongi groans softly, and drops his seat bones back down on the cushion, stretches his legs out long, socked feet against the rail. Jungkook watches him from the corner of his eye, hands in his lap.

“You’re my favorite thing to lose sleep over, Hyung, “he says, and this sentence is even more quiet, but Yoongi seems to catch it. He stalls his movement, holds his breath and then he crosses his legs, turns towards Jungkook, the cigarette in his hand, and stares at him.

Long looks.

They’re known to get Jungkook all fidgety, scare him, make him want to hide. But sometimes, they make him feel all warm, make his mouth go dry when it’s Yoongi looking at him, black orbs framed by black lashes between black bangs. Fingers fidgeting with the cigarette and clean teeth, whitened for the comeback between chapped, blueish-pink lips.

Yoongi gets so little sleep these days that his circulation is incredibly low, and everything about him has a weirdly translucent quality. He’s always been pale in comparison to Jungkook and the others, but here in the light of the streetlamps and the moon, his skin is made of blueish white and his lips are pale, too, like he’s cold all the time. Which makes sense, since the temperatures have been dropping recently, and Yoongi’s lips are blue, purple, pink, the color of Taehyung’s sweet, sweet strawberry milk cartons. He’s translucent when he puts the cigarette back between his lips, its glow dips him into orange for a second when he inhales. And then, he’s translucent again. Translucent in a way that constantly makes Jungkook either want to whip out his camera or pull him in, warm his cold lips with his own, or tug him inside, where it’s warm and safe.

But Jungkook knows himself, and he knows he wouldn’t be brave enough to do those things. He’s also aware Yoongi would never let him, always has to be the one to take the first step, always needs to stay in control of the situation. So, Jungkook sits and waits and watches Yoongi watching him, and acts like it’s nothing but gladly accepts it with his heart thudding when Yoongi, with a small sigh changes his cigarette hand from the right to the left and reaches his hand out, touching the back of Jungkook’s own with the tips of his fingers.

They both watch very carefully out of the corners of their eyes, shy of any eye contact now, as Yoongi traces his fingertips, just the tips, cool and soft, up the curve of Jungkook’s thumb, and they both hold their breaths when Jungkook turns his hand, palm up, and slowly takes Yoongi’s hand in his own.  Like it’s a secret, he holds it carefully. Cold, smaller than his own, he holds Yoongi’s hand and hangs his head low, wonders what would happen if someone saw them like this.

At first, neither of them moves. They’re both scared to break this fragile thing; all movement needs to be slow and steady. Quiet and slow and steady, like in a morning forest. Jungkook startles a little when Yoongi’s hand stops being limp in his own, when the elder presses his palm a little more firmly against Jungkook’s and then pushes his hand into his sleeve, meeting hot, sensitive skin. Jungkook shivers bodily, all hairs standing on end, and it makes the faintest breathless grin tug at the corner of Yoongi’s mouth.

Yoongi’s index finger and thumb press coldly into Jungkook’s pulse point, and Jungkook moves his hand to accommodate, holds Yoongi’s wrist in his palm. His pulse is slow, worryingly irregular, the pulse of someone with low blood pressure who hasn’t been sleeping or eating enough in late fall.  And Jungkook, always a contrast. He knows he’s all heightened senses, warmth beneath the skin, his pulse must be racing because Yoongi is so close now, leaning into his side. Closer than they’ve ever been, maybe. They both watch their hands in Jungkook’s lap. Jungkook can hear Yoongi’s breath on his ear, and turns his head reflexively, and they look at each other.

Eye contact; a dangerous thing. A beautiful thing.

And then they kiss. Suddenly but consensually gravitate towards each other until their lips meet, their minds in sync.

It’s thoughtful, kind of. Hesitant, deliberate, like the little dance of their hands earlier; it’s more breath than flesh first, both their lips a little dry and Jungkook shy of too much movement, stress still in his jaw and shoulders. But Yoongi’s lips are surprisingly warm contrary to his cold hand on Jungkook’s cheek, the kiss is warm and wonderful and slow as Yoongi twists in his seated position to reach the younger.

His breathing coming deeply through his nose, Jungkook takes his time before he touches Yoongi, right hand tangling clumsily in the elder’s hair, and it’s so soft between his fingers that Jungkook lets out a sigh and buries his hand deeper into it, and Yoongi takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss, licking shamelessly into Jungkook’s mouth. All Jungkook can taste now is the smoke on Yoongi’s tongue and he hates what it means but he also loves it, it tastes like the pink color of strawberry milk. He feels lightheaded, whimpers softly.  Jungkook knows all Yoongi will be able to taste on his tongue is the faint afterglow of toothpaste, but Yoongi doesn’t seem to care, he kisses Jungkook thoroughly, hums low in his throat as he pulls back for a moment to stub the cigarette out for good. Jungkook watches dazedly as Yoongi turns back around and slides a hand up his chest with a shy, wanting glint in his eye and pulls Jungkook back in by his neck.

They’ve never been closer, Jungkook is sure of it. He can’t recall how he ever doubted this.

This right here, it’s not what he imagined kissing Yoongi would feel like, and he has imagined it lots. He was pretty sure that, was it to ever happen, it would be after some award show or party, intoxicated, free of meaning. And this is everything but. Jungkook isn’t drunk, and neither is Yoongi, and they’re both fully aware what they’re doing and of the consequences it could potentially have, and it feels like so much more than it should. Yoongi kisses heavy, and there’s so much urgency and pent-up need in the way his fingers dig into the skin of Jungkook’s neck that Jungkook, on top of feeling hot all over, muffling soft moans into Yoongi’s mouth, isn’t sure for just how long Yoongi has wanted this.

Which only makes it much more confusing when Yoongi’s hands, which have moved to the front of the hoodie, suddenly push him away, and Yoongi pulls back. That’s when Jungkook notices the dampness of his own cheeks, notices the puffiness of Yoongi’s eyes, and thinks oh no.

Yoongi grabs his lighter and cigarettes without a word, jumps up and runs inside.

Jungkook remains seated on the balcony, out of breath, eyes wide, trying to wrap his mind around how quickly Yoongi has changed his mind, how quickly situations can tip over edges without salvation. He can hear Yoongi in the hallway, pulling on his shoes and grabbing his keys, sniffling and opening the door, then throwing it shut.

And Jungkook knows it’s no use, so he doesn’t follow him.  The front door opens eleven floors down and Jungkook watches Yoongi run away into the night, wiping his face with the hem of his t-shirt.

He doesn’t know for how long he stays where he is in the wind on the balcony with a dull ache in his chest, but at some point, he collects the butts of Yoongi’s cigarettes and goes inside, throws them in the trash. He closes the screen door; he peels off Namjoon’s hoodie and places it over the back of the couch, and he goes back to bed.

Jungkook wakes up at the crack of dawn, when Namjoon shouts through the whole apartment which one of them is a smoker and stole his hoodie. He wakes up, and he realizes that curled around his waist is a skinny arm, and someone is breathing softly against his neck, softly and slowly, the breath of someone sleeping deeply.

He knows it’s Yoongi even before he turns onto his side carefully to eye the other.

Parted strawberry-milk lips and purple circles beneath his eyes, skin soft. There’s no tension or awareness there, and he doesn’t look like he’s going to wake up anytime soon. Jungkook figures he must have really needed this night’s rest; he unplugs his phone, mutes it and opens Instagram and lets Yoongi curl back into his side sleepily.  He lets him, because he doesn’t mind. He’s somewhat angry, sure, but he trusts that Yoongi will apologize later, and for now, he’s just glad to be close to him.

Closer than ever, maybe.

Thank you for reading!! Hate on me for mistakes and controversies.

[endlessdreamerdragon]

Insomniac - Marvin the Magnificent x Reader

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Author Note:  So, seeing as how apparently it's Marvin's turn as Ego of the week here on Tumblr and also seeing as how I've been having some problems sleeping myself, I thought I'd try my hand at writing one of these character x reader thingies. It's my first time really writing one so it might not be all that good? Idk. Anyway, another reason I've decided to try this kind of writing is because I've been basically binge-reading a bunch of ClanWarrior 's fanfictions and found that style of short story rather fun to read. Nothing overly complicated that needs a big set-up or anything but it's rather fun for me to read and also to try writing. Dunno if I'll keep doing these though. I tried to do my best to use proper punctuation and grammar but not sure if everything makes sense or not. I had everything down in my head but when I actually got to writing it up, I think some things might've gotten muddled up. Constructive criticism welcome! Marvin the Magnificent belongs to @therealjacksepticeye  With that out of the way, on to the story! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ "[Y/N!]" "Huh?" You blinked a few times, snapping out of your thoughts as you looked up to see Marvin, one of Jack's egos, looking at you expectantly with a slightly raised eyebrow. "I called your name three times already." He looked at you with a bit of concern as he tilted his head slightly to one side, studying you carefully. "Are you sure you're okay?" You nodded and sighed a little, flashing a weak smile and offering an apology as you ran your fingers through your hair. "Yeah sorry man, I'm just tired that's all." Marvin nodded, the cat-masked magician accepting your apology and your reasoning for zoning out the way you did. He knew after all that you had a long history of insomnia and problems sleeping but also that you'd been particularly having problems getting enough sleep in the last few weeks. But even with that knowledge, even you knew that things weren't usually this bad. Just yesterday you'd had to apologise to all your fans on Youtube and explain to them that you were a bit off with your videos lately because of your sleeping troubles. You'd almost even forgotten that you'd invited Marvin over this week to hang out, which is why he was currently standing in front of you while you were sitting on the couch in your living room, the tv still on and a controller sitting beside you from when you'd just been playing video games with him but had taken a break to get some food. You'd decided on your favourite type of sandwich, which was still sitting half-eaten on the coffee table in front of you. Marvin looked thoughtful for a few moments as he continued to look at you as though contemplating something in his mind. "You know I may have something that could help you get some proper rest, but I understand if you would rather not." You looked at him curiously for a moment and then nodded in understanding, it clicking inside your mind what he might be referring to. His magic. Or rather specifically using his magic to help you sleep. You knew the reason he questioned whether or not you would be accepting of the idea was not because you were skeptical of magic in general, or that you thought he wasn't capable of doing it, he just knew you were the type that was reluctant to rely on magic to solve life's everyday problems. Seeing he was still waiting on an answer, you rubbed the bridge of your nose acutely aware you probably looked as tired as you felt. While you didn't like to let it get to you too much, you had to admit lately it was starting to affect your life and unless you did manage to get some proper sleep it would continue to get worse. "At this point dude, I'm ready to try just about anything. So if you have something that could help, I'm game to try it." Marvin nodded and reached into a pocket inside his vest, pulling out a small chain with a pendant on the end of it. "Just try to relax and focus only on the pendant as you listen to my voice." You took a deep breath and slowly released it before turning your attention to the swirling pattern featured on the pendant, watching as the ego began to swing it back and forth in a steady rhythm. "My voice is all you can focus on. As I speak, your muscles are slowly relaxing. All you can think about is my voice now. Just let your mind go and let everything else fade away.." Marvin droned on, observing as you gradually fell under his sway. Watching as your gaze remained locked on the pendant and your eyes began to take on a faraway look. As the magician continue to go on in that same calming hypnotic tone, all sights and sounds around you began to blur and fade away. No longer could you see the tv or hear the distracting music of the video game you'd been playing with him just a short while ago. You were no longer aware of your body, or that you were still sitting on the couch, or even that you were still hungry since you never finished your sandwich. Nothing else mattered except the magician's voice and the rhythmic back and forth of the pendant. No thoughts of your own. Just his voice and the pendant. Marvin smiled a little as he watched you become more and more distant, watching as your body posture become more and more lax and he knew it was almost the right time as your eyes fluttered and began to droop, soon being halfway closed. Just a little more and you'd be under. "Now, [Y/N], when I snap my fingers you will fall asleep and when you awake you will feel refreshed and invigorated." He snapped his fingers and instantly it was as though you were a puppet and someone had suddenly cut the strings: your eyes closed as your body went completely limp, slumped  against the back of the couch, the steady rise and fall of your chest and your soft breathing being the only indicators that you were still alive. Marvin put away the pendant and shifted you to a more comfortable position, finding a comfortable pillow for your head and gently placing a light blanket over you. "Sleep well, my friend. We will catch up another time, when you are not so tired." Knowing you were getting the rest you so badly needed, the ego patted your shoulder and after putting the leftover food away in the fridge he headed for the front door, making sure to first lock it before pulling it closed behind him and heading home.

[dreamca7cher]

Dreamcatcher Dream of US in LA Fanmeet write-up

Hello friends! I have enjoyed reading fanmeet write-ups from others in the past, so I figured that those who weren’t able to go might like to give this a read. *Disclaimer* this is ridiculously long, It was actually about twice as long before I condensed and edited. I’ve had a week now to supplement my memory with the fancams and photos that have been trickling out, but I do apologize if I’ve misremembered or left anything out.

I basically jumped at the chance to attend kcon as soon as I read that Dreamcatcher would be there. I was lucky to get some good P1 seats with 2 other kpop-loving friends. At first I was a little bummed that DC was billed as a special guest, which meant they would not be doing any official kcon “artist engagement” activities like hi-touch. But then news of their solo LA fan meeting was announced and I was absolutely ecstatic. It just so happened that my flight was scheduled to arrive early enough Friday to make it to the fanmeet venue just in time.  On the day tickets were to go on sale, I barely got anything done at work and watched my computer clock like a hawk, refreshing the site every millisecond, ten seconds before ticket sales opened. Fortunately, I was lucky to secure one of the 125 seated spots. This would be my first in-person experience of any kind concerning kpop, so I was insanely excited and simultaneously nervous af.

I arrived at the venue about 15 minutes before it was scheduled to start and saw a decent line around this real hole-in-the-wall looking place. The people in line said it was for the seated spots, which surprised me. I thought there would be more standing than seated positions, but it turns out there were only maybe 10-15 people standing. It was hot as balls out there, and we were standing directly in the sun so we were all quickly drenched in sweat. I learned later that the girls had actually arrived earlier in a black van in front of the venue. I was probably still in transit at that time, but it must have been nice for the fans already standing in line to get that first glimpse of them! When we finally made it inside, the staff checked our names off a list and we were able to sign a giant American flag that the girls would hold later for a group picture. The fans who did not bring their own album to be signed were given a small poster. It was basically free for all seating, I was on the far right side on the last row but no matter – the venue was small enough to see everything clearly. As soon as I sat down I realized either the A/C wasn’t on.. or there was none at all. There were a few floor fans pointed at the stage, but I felt bad for the girls once they entered and I saw they were wearing sorta heavy looking tops L There was a slightly raised wooden stage in the front and a long table for them to sit at. Two tall speakers flanked the stage, but the music later wasn’t too loud. The crowd was ethnically diverse and probably around a 50%-50% gender split, proving Dreamcatcher’s wide appeal to all sorts of fans. It was however a much older crowd than the average makeup of the kcon attendees, as this was not a boy group.

The girls soon entered, which was such a surreal moment. It was almost like I couldn’t believe they were real people ya know? Having only watched them on video, it’s more like you’re watching a fictional movie sometimes. I know it’s cliché, but they really are sooo much prettier in person. I think they did look a little tired and/or nervous, but their smiles were illuminating and they did little fan service gestures whenever possible. They did their standard introduction with JiU speaking the most as leader, with small remarks like how hot it was and that it was nice to meet all of us. I thought Yoohyeon would speak the most, but she was probably nervous to use her English with us. The event went straight into the fan-signing with rows lining up one by one while the crowd was free to take pictures/videos. There are much better quality videos out there from the front, but I’ll post my crappy phone videos in case anyone wants to see from the right-hand perspective. I apologize for any shaking, as tripods were not allowed. The signing was fairly quick, everyone had just about enough time for each of the girls to sign their album or poster and maybe exchange a sentence or two.

I was one of like the last 4 people to go since I was at the back, and by this point my adrenaline was going crazy. I’ve never fainted before, but if there would be a time to, then that would be it. I didn’t know if this was strictly allowed, but I did see a few fans high five the members. I refrained however because then that would mean I could never wash that hand (j/k I didn’t want any chance of getting kicked out). So I decided to stick to a compliment or two which I had gone over in my head again and again for a few days prior. I wrote down a longer version of what I was going to say on some notes, since that’s all we were allowed to gift the girls. I had also decided to write my notes on origami paper of their favorite colors and fold my notes into paper cranes to stand out, because I am a crazy person. The research (I got their favorite colors from an interview which I’ll post later), the writing, and the folding all took much long than I anticipated which resulted in me only getting 1 hour of sleep Thursday night before my early flight. So this all culminated in a peak state of nervousness. All too soon it was my turn! I won’t go into what exactly I said or what was in my notes, it was just basically a compliment or encouragement. SuA was first, she waved and said hi as I approached. She was consistently the most hyper and playful that day, possibly because it was her birthday. She seemed really genuine too, and seemed the most relaxed I think. Handong was second, she was predictably shy, but was very appreciative of the crane and said it was cute. Her signature is the most unique too. I wrote some really crappy Chinese in my note that I hope she could read haha.. Next was Siyeon, she looked a bit tired, but she was hella pulling off the dark concept look with her black hair and colored contacts. She also spoke a lot of English that day, even if it wasn’t complete sentences like Yoohyeon. I think previous reports are accurate too, she was very quirky with her mannerisms. JiU was in the middle, and was positively glowing  :O she was smiling pretty much the whole time and I think even picked up the crane and flapped it around a little adorably. It was hard not to grin widely as well the whole time. Idk JiU just has this like unlimited energy that shines no matter how hot or tired she was. I pictured her as like a Super Saiyan or something with her positive aura. Yoohyeon was next and also looked a little tired. But she said a few things in English to me, and had an absolutely gorgeous smile. I haven’t 100% settled on a bias yet, but girl makes it hard to not choose her. Gahyeon was 6th and actually was saying a lot of things in English. She also seemed to like the crane a lot and has a really cute smile. Dami was last, and was so cool and reserved. She’s really good at the appreciative head nod, no wonder she seemed to be the most popular that day. I forgot to tell all of them that the cranes were actually notes they could unfold and read, I may have told 2-3 of them but I’m not sure if they understood. Ah well. The whole signing probably only lasted a couple minutes, but seeing them up close and actually chatting with them is something I will never forget. After the staff also got their signatures, they moved the big table so the girls could perform.

First up was You and I, and boy was it a sight to behold in person. Their movements were so sharp and energetic, and it’s probably my favorite choreography of any kpop song. They just lip-synced which is ok, since it let me focus on the dance. Dami’s baton reveal probably got the loudest cheer, it was really awesome to see up close, and she does it so nonchalantly. Siyeon’s scarf throw also got a loud cheer. SuA definitely had the most powerful dancing, as expected.  I didn’t know all the fanchants, but the other InSomnias obliged well. The girls sprinkled in little hearts and waves to the audience throughout the performance. Right after, they performed Full Moon, which was a very nice gift to the American InSomnias  :] The chest pumping part probably had the loudest cheers, as it was the fiercest part of the choreo. During Dami’s solo rap part, she came up real close and waved to everyone, which also brought lots of cheers. The part where SuA and Handong get dragged across the floor was also popular for some reason. I haven’t watched as many fancams of Full Moon, but I really like the choreo, especially Siyeon’s parts. She rules that performance with her movements and expressions.

After the performance, the girls played a question and answer game from a board made up of stick notes that the crowd had written earlier (via translator). The first question I think was for SuA to do a solo funny dance. She asked “no music?” and Siyeon tried to do beatboxing and failed hard hahaha. So Yoohyeon sang to and SuA did a short hilarious dance to Dame Tu Cosita before collapsing in embarrassment. It was so adorable XD the 2nd question was what was the girls favorite Dreamcatcher song. SuA said Mayday, and sang her part a bit. The next question was “what’s it like performing for fans who don’t speak Korean and understand the lyrics?” Handong said that there was nonetheless a connection and that she was surprised and thankful that fans still sing along to the songs. SuA also said we felt like family, sister, brother, mother, father.. lol. The next question was what is your favorite choreography/point move? JiU said she likes the “baby you and I” part of You and I, and Yoohyeon likes the Chase Me part where they grab their hair lol. SuA likes the kiss blowing parts, and Siyeon likes when the members are dragged in Full Moon (probably because it’s not her being dragged haha). Then there was a question about superpowers, and Gahyeon said teleportation and JiU said she never wanted to get tired so she could always meet her fans, like the perfect leader she is. Siyeon said “you already do that” lol. Then Dami was asked how the baton worked, which I’m sure we all have always wondered. It’s basically like a spring-loaded telescoping thing held by a cap. Super cool, and got a resounding applause. Next was one of the more anticipated questions “which member would you marry?” and SuA immediately stood up lol. Siyeon took the mic and said JiU, because she makes really cute noises when she sleeps, revealing her creeper status lolol. Siyeon asked “will you marry me” and JiU said “oooh, yes” lmao. The next question was who has the best legs, to which Yoohyeon crossed her legs expectantly. But then she said she thought Handong has the best legs and asked her to stand up, which she did! Doing some model poses for us, very uncharacteristically ^^ JiU also said Handong has the straightest legs. Then Dami was asked to do some aegyo! Haha poor Dami, she chose to say “hi, nice to meet you, thank you” very adorably. The girls were then asked what songs they listen to in their personal time. SuA is currently obsessed with This is America and did the iconic gun pose lol. Siyeon likes Ariana Grande, and sang some No Tears Left to Cry. They were then asked what artists they want to collaborate with, and Yoohyeon said Day6 which got a big cheer. I also love Day6, and that would be such a match made in heaven! She also beautifully sang a little bit of Letting Go. Siyeon said she wanted to cover Sean Mendes Treat You Better and SuA wanted to do a Taylor Swift song. They were asked about actors they want to meet in LA, and they said the Avengers lol. I think they visited Hollywood Boulevard and said they kinda felt like they met them because there were people dressed up in costumes. Gahyeon also wanted to meet Daniel Henney because he lives in LA. Then JiU said I want to meet my fans with this huge dorky smile lol. The next question was about any future America tour plans, and JiU said of course, and asked us to visit them again next time. They were then asked who their other favorite kpop group was, and JiU said Red Velvet. Yoohyeon asked if she could dance a little bit, so JiU cutely danced to Bad Boy briefly. Siyeon also said KARD. They were asked what their favorite part of LA was, and SuA said she really liked In-N-Out burger and that it was yummy, specifically combo #3 lol. She also wanted to ride rides at Santa Monica and swim, to which Siyeon reminded her that she can’t swim lmao. The last question was about their favorite quotes. Dami’s motto is “in life there are no answers, so do what makes you happy”. JiU said “let’s live happy”, which she definitely exudes all the time ^^. Also that we were all beautiful and smart enough, so to live a happy life. Yoohyeon said that her mom always said to her “if you have a dream, imagine it will happen, and it will be”. Lastly, the girls took a group photo with all three of the sections, holding the American flag we signed earlier. JiU closed out with thanks and a promise they would see us again. SuA said thank you for celebrating my birthday, and Handong said thank you for your passion. Then the staff brought out a birthday cake and we surprised SuA by singing happy birthday. She looked so happy the entire time, and  even did a little moonwalk haha. Dami did one last tour around the crowd waving to everyone, and that was it.

And the rest of the weekend was downhill! J/k the kcon stages were amazing, and I saw them again multiple times at the convention, but the fanmeet was of course the highlight of the trip. As my first in-person kpop experience, this will definitely be hard to top. I vaguely wondered before the fanmeet if finally meeting them in person would diminish my perfect image of them in my head, but actually the opposite is true. Now they feel like real people I know, which just makes me like them even more. I was also very proud of the American InSomnias, everyone was respectful, there were no crazy incidents, no one had to be thrown out by security, it just went as smooth as can be. I also want to thank 7-dreamers for organizing this whole thing, and for the smooth operation. I could talk forever about my experiences, but I will end it here. Maybe I’ll do a write-up of the convention and concert if anyone’s interested? Thanks for reading!

[ikesenmotonari]

yay that ikesen oc thing. she’s a multifandom oc but hey im not creative so i might as well JAM her into another universe lets go lads

idk who to tag but if u have an ikesen oc go for it i wanna know bout em!!!

i was tagged by @nyktoon-ikemenlove thank you sweetheart!!!

Age? Height?

“Hi! I’m Melody Wyverne, but my friends if I had any would call me Mel, Mells… that fun stuff! I’m nineteen and I’m five foot two!”

She’s petite, on the curvy side. She’s 5′2″, or 155 cm; she is only nineteen and wants to go home. lmao

What’s your fashion like? [Time travelers – pre & post-wormhole!]

“Er, pre time-jump I was a fan of sleeveless hoodies and high-waisted jeans. I didn’t go out much, so I dressed comfortably. Now I wear kimono and hakama… it’s pretty. I sure hope it didn’t trouble people too much to make these…!“

The top one is an older doodle. thonk emojis

Where are you from?

“I’m from Canada, actually. I lived alone for a bit then my dad reached out to me and asked me if I’d like to spend some time with him in Japan. So uh, I just wanted to talk to him again and thought this would be a good way for me to intern somewhere… it might as well be his business right? Then the storm thing.“

Her mom is French, her dad is English. She’s got a ridiculously high IQ level and no social skills whatsoever, so she knows most Japanese and speaks it pretty okay despite her North American kind of accent. Is that a thing? thonks

Feudal era – pros and/ or cons?

“There are pros?!“ She’s not very happy being surrounded by blood and death…

Pros? Cool clothes. Cons? HAVE YOU MET THESE PEOPLE?!

If you’re not in your homeland/time, do you want to go home?

“Gosh. Absolutely.“

What’s your home life like?

“Well, I’ll run you through a usual day! Ah… well, I’d eat something, then play with my cat, talk to Avery for a bit, then… yeah I’d spend the rest of it at the garage, just working on my projects! It’s… I like working. It’s not healthy, and I’ve been told… but it’s nice, you know?“

Melody doesn’t go outside.

She scarcely leaves her property and the only close friends she has is a cat and a cyborg (a man with no arms). Her parents split years ago and she wasn’t properly socialized as a kid. Being raised as a certified genius? It’s… lonely. She doesn’t know how it’s affected her, but being thrown back in time is forcing her to look at things differently.

You just got your dream job! What is it? / Or, what’s your line of work?

“I’m a programmer on the side, but first and foremost, I make prosthesis for people. I have a background in medicine and engineering I suppose…”

Any other hobbies or skills? Do you use them / how do you use them in the Sengoku period?

“Not really… I can barely take care of myself as is, haha! Erm. I can’t use my skills much at all in this era. Other than some simple automatons, there’s also guns I can piece apart, but I’m more hesitant with those… all I can do is use my expertise in biology I guess. There’s a lot of injuries going around, and I’m glad I’m not completely useless.“

Where is your base of operations? Azuchi Castle? Kasugayama Castle? A pirate ship? Running all over the woods or in a secret monastery? Some other cool place?

“I woke up in a forest near Azuchi and stayed in a neutral tea house for a while before Lord Masamune pretty much dragged me to the castle. So I stayed there for a few months, and the warlords grew on me, but… I… got kidnapped. So I guess my base of operations is a pirate ship.”

Oh?

“…I don’t like it. Don’t get me started on their captain…”

How do you feel about killing and violence?

“I just wish there’s another way past it all. I don’t think I’ll ever understand the logic behind killing someone. I… I’m a doctor. Not a murderer.”

Have you learned to fight? If so, what’s your weapon and/or fighting style of choice?

“Nope, actually. But there’s some good guys on board that might be willing to teach me! At least, I hope so. The only thing I’m leaning towards are guns, unfortunately, but they’re the closest thing to a modern mechanism I can get. Eep… I don’t know how to fight! I don’t want to!”

What are you fighting for?

“Um, my life?!“ It changes. Eventually. ;3

What are your feelings about authority?

“As long as they’re not bullies? Fine.” She pauses. “Lord Nobunaga was different though. I didn’t understand him fully, but he doesn’t really make fun of me or anything. He’s just curious I guess. I don’t tend to question authority unlike some pirates.”

How do you handle someone invading your personal space?

“I just get really uncomfortable and back away if I can. I can’t bring myself to yell at people unless they’ve seriously whittled down on my patience. I didn’t know I had it in me, actually… huh.“

…do you invade people’s personal space?

“Ha…. haha! Yeah, sometimes. I get nosy okay? I didn’t even know what personal space was until I was eleven!”

Are you more open, or more reserved? Are you secretive?

“Avery says I’m an open book. I have nothing to hide, no secrets to keep. There’s not much that happened to me before, so I guess I’m some kind of blank slate? Gee, that sounds so harsh…”

Is this the first time you’ve been truly in love?

 “Love? Have you spoken to these people?”

Eventually? Yeah. Yeah this is her first time.

What’s your style as a lover? (interpret this as innocently or not-innocently as you please ;) )

She’s sweet, affectionate and balanced. She knows when to handle time with her partner and time working on whatever independent activities. Though she’s quite a dense person overall and won’t realize if she’s even fallen for someone, she deeply and wholeheartedly trusts them. It takes a while for her to know this.

Also, she’s 99% submissive and slightly masochistic. As well as a rope bunny.

What are your favorite ways for someone to show you love?

Touches, fleeting ones. Tight hugs, any kind of embrace. Show her something unconditional, undivided. She’s been isolated for so long she convinced herself she won’t have someone to love, so she carries on merrily alone, not knowing how deprived she is of human contact. Hmm.

Take her on an adventure. Bring her out of her comfort zone. Show her what the world could be like… you’ll change her.

Do you use a petname or endearments for your lover(s)?

Not really, she would give nicknames if she could! She already says things like ‘honey’ and ‘dear’, but nothing too mushy unless it becomes super playful and joking.

How do you feel about…

Nobunaga? “He’s such a complicated warlord… I don’t know if I’ll ever understand him. But he’s shown some really keen interest in me. Is it because I’m a Westerner? Either way, Lord Nobunaga scared me and he still does. But after spending months in the castle and talking to him, he’s not actually as mean as I thought he was. I don’t know why he laughs at me though! I guess the things I do seem really silly to him!”

Hideyoshi? “Oh he’s super nice. He taught me how to make tea when mister Mitsunari and I put way too much leaves in. He tends to scold me for staying up though, but I can’t help my insomnia without my pills! It’s really comforting to know that Lord Hideyoshi is looking out for me though. The things he does reminds me of how Avery takes care of me, so I guess he’s like a big brother? Heehee.”

Masamune? “He was the one who brought me to Azuchi castle, and boy is he wild! His energy shocked me honestly, it’s like he never runs out of it. He’s so cool though! He kinda scared me too, and I’m pretty sure he can stab me once told to, but he’s been really playful. I didn’t know I’d have so much fun in Azuchi thanks to him. And he makes amazing food! Though he should stop bugging me to eat three meals a day…”

Ieyasu? “Aw man, I wish I can talk to him without him speedwalking away or trying to avoid me! He’s reading stuff about medicine, right? I’d like to know what he’s learning. It’s no doubt super different from modern medicine. I try to talk to him sometimes but Lord Ieyasu’s always busy… was it something I said?”

You know that question about invading personal space? Melody leans in to peer over at his books sometimes. She’s a bit too friendly to his liking.

Mitsunari? “I relate to him a lot. He’s really friendly and sometimes I’d spend my free time reading with him. Time goes by so fast though and either Lord Hideyoshi or Lord Ieyasu would step in to tell us we’ve missed dinner…”

Literally. They are so alike. They got along swell.

Mitsuhide? “S-Scary… have you heard of those rumors about him? I mean, in person he’s okay, but he’s just tall and intimidating to me. He did take me out to the marketplace once and show me around, which… well, nevermind. I guess he’s nice. Apparently Lord Hideyoshi told him to stop teasing me, but I don’t recall being teased?”

She’s dense. 

Shingen? “Big man. Very tall, and… I think he was flirting with me. Whatever it was, he’s… really.. erm, polite and all, and I met him along with Yukimura and Sasuke at the forest tea house before I was taken to Azuchi. I don’t know him too well, but with what Lord Nobunaga told me, he must be a strong warlord…”

Kenshin? “I never met the guy. With a title like the ‘God of War’, I don’t think I want to…!” Fear.

Yukimura? “He’s… he’s kind of… what’s the word, gruff, isn’t he? I met him along with Shingen and I guess it’s a good quality to be honest and stuff. I think we got off on the wrong foot.”

She spilled tea on him. You can imagine the rest. Sasuke came in clutch.

Sasuke? “He’s super great. I wish I had more time to talk to him! He kinda saw right through my attempt to hide the fact that I’m from the future and he gave me helpful advice on fitting in and staying under the radar. Eep, sorry I got dragged to the castle, Sasuke! We can talk about astrophysics another time…! Seriously, I’m so grateful to him. Without his advice I’d probably be in big trouble.”

Kennyo? “He went near the tea house once and was feeding the fish in the koi pond. He’s scary, but… he’s nice. I served him tea and some dumplings. I had no idea he hated Lord Nobunaga so much…”

Motonari? “Ugh… infuriating. I didn’t know I could be so angry at someone before I met this guy. The nerve he has, to kidnap me in broad daylight, spit on Azuchi defenses, and then use me as his impromptu surgeon for the high seas! Hmph. … I… I don’t know. The more time I spend with him, I feel like I’m not going anywhere - you know, I try to get along, I really do, but I think he’s keeping me away? Like, he just tends to stay shallow with people. As annoying as he can get… I want to know why. He’s shown how playful he could be, and his crew loves him. He gives me the same vibes as Lord Nobunaga, actually… intimidating, but I want to know more about him.”

Any other friends/notables?

“I have a friend named Avery and he’s awesome! He took care of me ever since I was eleven, he was twenty-one at the time and now he’s thirty. He’s like a dad to me. Oh, and this isn’t too important, but he has metal arms. I made those! Er, the updated ones, actually. Just to make sure they’re functioning like real arms and all. The prototypes were made by my mom and he was severely injured, so the surgery took a while. He and I grew really close after my parents’ divorce. He lives a few blocks down, and he has eight dogs. Don’t ask ME why, you should ask HIM. … I miss him. I hope he’s okay.”

She also has a cat named Charlie. He’s a grey ragdoll. That’s… that’s about it.

hooray for my shallow motonari headcanons with trust issues

[moonm0chi]

Upstairs (m)

credit

Pairing: Hoseok x reader

Genre: smut, fluff (?), dancer!college!Hoseok

Word count: 5.7k (I love a good build up)

Warnings: contains sex, sexual/explicit language

Summary: You finally get the courage to yell at the noisy neighbor upstairs and begin to realize that maybe you should’ve gone up sooner.

a/n: pls be kind first smutty thing I’ve written in A WHILE, idk if it’s any good I’ve literally re-read it like 15 times before posting. Enjoy! Hopefully more of my writing is on the way!!!

“Are you fucking kidding me!” You yelled in exasperation. The floorboards above you creaked and thumped as your neighbor pounded on their floor.

 It was currently 11:30 and you were trying so hard to get your presentation done for tomorrow’s class. You grabbed the broomstick that was becoming less for sweeping and more for hitting on your ceiling in shallow attempts at getting the ruckus to quiet down.  

The thumping stopped and you let out a sigh of relief but it was short lived when the stomps and thumps started up again. And you were almost positive they were louder. The nerve of this kid. But you just groaned again and hoped it’d die down by the time you went to bed, not having enough courage to go and ask them to kindly shut the hell up.

 But suddenly the clock read 3:30 and you could feel how bloodshot your eyes were and the incessant thumping didn’t sound like it was going to stop anytime soon. You sighed in defeat and re-dressed yourself before taking the elevator up to the next floor. It didn’t take you long to locate the door that was the reason behind your insomnia.

You knocked on the door furiously making sure it could be heard over the music in the apartment. It wasn’t long until the music died. You bit your lip anxiously and whipped your gaze from the floor to the open door.

A wave of heat immediately hit you, your gaze locked with the boy in front of you. He was wearing a low cut tank top and gym shorts, a towel wrapped around his neck. His auburn hair plastered to his face and beads of sweat rolled down his tanned skin. He had a shocked look on his face, clearly not expecting you. 

You gaped at the sight in front of you,  all thoughts fleeting for a moment before you are pulled from your stupor, “Hi..uhm can I help you?” He asks a wide grin replaced with his previously shocked one.

You clear your throat as you remembered the reason you’re there in the first place.

“Hi, I’m Y/N I live below you,” you smile sheepishly feeling slightly guilty for meeting on such awkward circumstances, “and I’m trying to go to bed…umm..do you think you c-could try and be quieter...” you look down shyly and waited for his response.

He lets out a laugh, “Yea, of course!  Sorry sometimes I forget about the other people living here.” You watched his smile stretch and you’re blushing at how dazzling his whole face looks.

He sticks his hand out, “I’m Jung Hoseok, nice to meet you neighbor!”

You shook his hand, and noted how large and warm it felt in yours. You thanked him for his understanding and curse yourself for your late introduction. You’d have went up sooner if you’d known a ridiculously attractive and sweaty boy would’ve been greeting you at the door.

 It looked like your broom was finally out of commission.

“Wait, Jung Hoseok lives about you?!?” Your friend exclaimed. You frowned in confusion not understanding the implications.

She scoffed, “He’s like… probably the best dancer in the department. Not that you’d know Ms. Business major.” she laughed at your pout.

 “Well he certainly practices like he’s the best in the department.” You complained “Yesterday I had to go upstairs and tell him to basically shut up.”

“You’ll be the reason he fails his showcase.” Your friend said, playfully jabbing you with a fry which you happily stole from her.

 “It was 3:30 in the morning!” You defended, “But, I’ll admit….he was so sweaty and it was…” you sighed trailing off into your memories of his glistening tanned skin.

 She laughed while you reminisced.

 But you ultimately shrugged off the whole ordeal. He was indeed incredibly attractive but as long as he practiced during normal, human hours, you’d have no reason to see him other than in your thoughts. And that would have to suffice.

But after having to practically beg him twice to quit practicing into the wee hours of the morning he finally proposed it’d be best if you guys just exchanged numbers.

 You were thankful for the more convenient method of dealing with him, although slightly upset to have to stop making your frequent trips up to sneak glances at Hoseok’s sweaty body every time you scolded him.

“I swear I’ll set a reminder to stop at 12.” He had promised you. And any anger you’d felt toward him melted at the sincerity of his smile and the way his eyes begged you to believe his good intentions. This is how it always happened. You could always feel yourself soften at his brown eyes staring at you, his apologies would hang sweetly between the two of you. You never could find yourself staying angry at him once you’d returned to your room. 

You came back from a party , that you were immediately regretting, to your apartment room well after 12. The effects of alcohol were ebbing from your system and all you wanted was to place your aching head on your pillow and drift off to sleep.

But that wouldn't be in the cards for you when you heard the incessant thumping and pounding on your ceiling. You groan and cover your head with your pillow praying it’d drown out the noise.

 You text him begging for him to be quiet and it seems that the pounding only gets louder. You are furious at this point. So done with his shit. But your phone pinged and a gentle vibration resounded on your nightstand and then it’s completely quiet. You hadn’t bothered responding. A sigh of relief escapes and you felt your body settle into bed.

Then there was a knock at your front door.

 You threw your blankets off your body and stormed towards the door. You’d been completely ready to curse Hoseok out, positive it was him on the other side of your door.

 But the sight in front of you had you weak in the knees. Much sweatier than you’d ever seen him and his chest was heaving from probably sprinting down the steps. A flush washed over his face, guilt written all over it.

 You bit your lip but quickly and tried to look upset. It seemed difficult keeping your eyes locked on his. You tried your best not to let your eyes travel, knowing the sheen on his collarbones or the veins running up his forearms would only make you forget what the hell you were supposed to be mad at him for to begin with and hastily accept his apologies.

“Hey” he smiled, his shallow breaths filling the silence between you.

 You smiled, struggling to keep your eyes on his once he began to speak.

“I’m so sorry, my reminder went off but the music was s-

 Keep your eyes up

“Seriously, anything, if you-

 Keep your eyes up.

The longer he spoke the farther you found your eyes drifting. They trailed down his long neck, your mind filled with thoughts that yearned lick and bite a trail from his jugular down to his collarbones. They were glistening with sweat  even under the shitty hallway lights and his low cut shirt showed off his hard upper chest.

You licked your dry lips and once you’d flickered your eyes back up to his you realized he had stopped talking.

“So really, if you ever want to just text me.”

You blinked at the empty meaning of the words, “What?” you ask completely dazed.

He chuckled and placed a hand on the back of his neck, “I said that if you want, I teach dance lessons on the side and I could give you some for free in exchange for putting up with my noisy ass.”

You blushed embarrassed at your actions and think you mumble something along the lines of “sure, I’ll text you” and that seemed to please him because he waved goodbye and you were shutting the door quickly. But all you’d been thinking about was the way his bicep flexed when he raised his arm.

Hoseok finally managed to be quiet whenever you asked for quite a while. But then dreaded finals rolled around and you’re ready to pull your hair out of your head. You were 10 pages deep in 1 of your 4 research papers and the thumping persists accompanied by a deep bass pumping in the background this time. Hoseok isn’t answering his phone and you’re way too close to a mental breakdown to sit around and wait for a response.

You stormed up to his room, skipping the elevator altogether. Your chest heaves with frustration and the stair sprint you just forced yourself to do. You’re knocking rapidly on the door and it isn’t until you’re eyes lock with his that you’re regretting just how fast you left your room.

 The loose tank top and flimsy bralette you’re wearing do little in combatting the exposure you feel under Hoseok’s gaze and your shorts should’ve never left the confines of your apartment walls. You curse yourself for not changing. You averted your gaze, and tugged at the hem of your shorts begging for some coverage that you knew wasn’t going to come.

He leant on his door frame, a smirk playing on his gleaming face and his arms folded.

“Well, from the urgency of those knocks it doesn’t sound like you’re here for a dance lesson.”

He watched you expectantly, studying your face before sighing when you stayed silent.

You opened your mouth ready to protest when he grabbed your arms, dragging you into his apartment. “Hoseok, what are you- really can you just please be quiet. I have so much work to do before the end of finals.” You pleaded finally getting your voice back and trying to shake out of his grip.

 He shook his head no, grip only becoming tighter and dragged you towards the speakers in his small living room. The couch and other furniture moved to make room for a makeshift dance floor.

“No, you are way too tense Y/N.” He laughed looking at your wide eyes, “No offense but you look cracked out right now and I think a dance lesson would really take your mind off things for a little.”

You pinched your lips together tightly and vehemently shake your head in protest. He ignored your protests and un-paused the music.

“You’re not leaving until you forget about your work.” He smiled and began to sway with the beat.

“I know I’ve been especially noisy lately but I have a reason.” He said, “I need to create choreography to this other students music. We’re doing a joint project for our final showcase.”

You watch as he switched songs, the heavy bass familiar, but much clearer than when you were in your apartment downstairs.

“Want to see?” He asked, his eyes shining with hope that you’ll say yes.

You nodded your head, not having the heart nor desire to reject his offer.

You watch his graceful and fluid movements totally transfixed on the way his body easily hits every beat like it’s been ingrained into his soul. It’s like no dancing you’ve ever seen before and now you can understand why he’s one of the top students in his program.

Hoseok noticed you watching him and that in your trance have started to gently bob to the beat. He slowly eased out of the routine and you blinked out of your trance, stopping your movement.

He knitted his brow together and came closer, “Why’d you stop?!”

“I didn’t know I was moving.” You admitted shyly.

“Okay, dance with me I’ll teach you.” He motioned for you to come closer to the center of the “dance floor” and showed you the “easier” moves from his routine. 

You began to relax as laughter bounced between the two of you so easily (unlike the dance moves he tried to teach you). Eventually you’re both sweating, the heat trapped in the small space leaving the air hot and heavy.  

But when a fast upbeat song comes on, you show Hoseok some of your “moves”- shaking your hips and twirling around. The song comes to an end and your skin is sticky with perspiration.

As the song switched, Hoseok grabbed your hips and a breathy chuckle sends a shiver down your spine when his hot breath fans over the nape of your neck.

“So maybe you don’t need dance lessons after all.”

Despite the compliment he began to move your hips, “So my next lesson will be on how to step up your moves to seduce any guy in the club.”

You laughed at his comments and play along, eager to keep away from your work a little while longer.

“Well I’m all ears.” You replied enthusiastically and placed your hands over his.

Another wave of warm air over ran over your neck. “Okay, so you start slow- you know gotta keep the guy guessing.”

You nod and began to swirl your hips slowly, brushing against Hoseok’s body every every so often, feeling the warmth that sent goosebumps over your flesh despite the heat.

His chest radiated heat and you could feel the fabric of your already short shorts riding up further the more you moved your hips. His grip tightened and brought you closer to his chest.

“So now you want to pick up the speed a little, make things more...sexy.  And if you feel comfortable you can do this.”

He grabbed one of your hands and brought it back so you’re fingers are ghosting over the nape of his neck. You tightened your grip and gently tugged at the baby hairs.

He inhaled sharply, “Sorry.” You apologized sheepishly letting up on your grip but not removing your hand from where he had placed it.

“That’s fine, it feels nice.” He replied honestly and tightened his grip on your hips.

His warm chest pressed firmly to your back. His hands twitch against your waist and you close your eyes, the intimate contact had started to make warmth flow towards your stomach and lower. You’d let your head roll back against his shoulder and you bit back a moan when he grinded your hips especially hard into him.

He watched your face flush and he leaned in to whisper, “I’ve always wanted to try this next move.”

You hummed, putty in his hands at this point until your eyes flew open when you’re being bent over at a ninety degree angle. Your ass flush against his crotch. In any other situation such a move would’ve had you laughing or pulling away, but as the situation may have it,  you couldn't help but moan. You turned your head and watched as your moan had been drowned out by Hoseok’s own throaty moan.

Your heart was beating so fast you’re sure it was going to come out your mouth any second. Sweat slid down your back and your hands flew out to the edge of an arm chair to keep you steady.

He had one hand on your upper back to keep you bent and the other tightly on your hip. All it took was one look at his blown out eyes and devilish smirk to tell he was enjoying this just as much as you were. The thought alone was enough to have you getting wet & rolling your hips into his.

Another deep moan left his lips as he throws his head back temporarily enjoying the friction. But after a few hip rolls, your legs begin to shake at the uncomfortable position.

“Fuck.” He growled and turned you around bringing your chest flush against his.

You could feel his hard dick against your lower stomach and bit your lip to stifle a groan at the sinful feeling. His face was inches from yours, both of you were breathing in each other's heavy exhales. His dark eyes looked at you and you’re slowly whispering, “I should probably go now...I have some-uh..some work t-to finish.”

You swallowed thickly as his eyes repetitively drift between your lips and eyes.

He expression is fierce, as he speaks, locking eyes with yours, “I can think of another way for you to forget about your work for a little if you want.” He tilted his head suggestively and poked his tongue out to run it over his lips .

You found yourself watching his tongue. You watch as he tried to control his breath, his jaw flexing waiting for your response. You trailed your fingertips up his arms, feeling the contours of his biceps and then slowly traced over his collarbones delicately.

All it took is one look at him before he’s cupping your jaw in his hands. Your lips met his in desperate passion. Hot and feverish, his tongue slipped into your mouth not even asking for permission- both of you knowing it wasn’t even be an option to deny.

You moaned and melted into his touch. Gripping his biceps to keep yourself from totally slumping into his chest. His hands traveled from your face to ass where he gives a rough squeeze.

“You must’ve known what you were doing to me with this outfit. Your whole ass basically on display.”

He gives another squeeze for emphasis and it makes you moan his name in a needy fashion.

You grind your core into him trying to get your throbbing clit some much needed friction. You bring him in for another kiss. His mouth so warm and every caress of his tongue making your core pulsate and clench.

You trailed kisses down his throat and nipped not so gently but soothingly would lap at the love bites soon after. You feel the moan vibrate from his throat and you lick a stripe from his jugular up to his jaw before you dropped your head to his collar bones. You’re sure he’ll have marks on them once you’re done with your assault.

Your head pushed into his chest and you squeezed your eyes shut as his hands dip into the waistband of your shorts. “Shit, you’re not wearing any panties?”

You feel him groan so sinfully you moan in response, his reactions alone were enough to have your knees practically buckling.

As his two fingers slipped into your folds, your hands made their way up his shirt. You felt his stomach muscles flex under your touch as you run your nails up and down his chest and stomach. Your fingers teased the area around his waistband, pulling at the soft material.

He grunted, “Stop teasing.”

You almost made a snarky retort when he sticks his two fingers into you, slowly pumping. You fisted the material of his shirt and moaned into his chest. “Ho-Hoseok, please move your fingers.”

Your whole body is tense and trying to get your thighs to shut to add some friction. 

“Yea you don’t like teasing now do you.” He chuckled and you can’t take it anymore so you trailed your hand down his body and you hear his breath hitch once your hand falls below his waistband.

You looked up and were immediately met with his dark brown gaze. Wearing a smirk, his eyes totally blown with lust. He licked his lips. His head fell to the crook of your neck and began to leave open mouthed kisses along the juncture between your neck and shoulder eliciting a shudder and small moan from you.

“Y-you have no idea,” he grunts when you ran your thumb over his swollen tip, “how long I’ve wanted this to happen.” He lifted his head, eyes squeezed shut and his head kicked back. Your lips open in pleasure at seeing him so fucked out and latched your lips onto his throat again leaving wet kisses.

“Shit...ever since that day you knocked on my door. I-” He swallowed thickly and you felt his cock twitch in your hand, “I would occasionally...accidentally...on purpose get louder… hoping you’d come back up.”

You smiled at his confessions, “Have you thought about me while doing this?”

You flushed with pride and excitement when he nodded his head.

“I’d always imagine you storming in here while I’m jerking off-ugh..” His elaboration on his fantasy is cut short when you squeeze tighter around the base of his shaft.

You were squirming under his touch, gently grinding into his fingers that have moved to rub slowly against your clit. Both leaned into each other for support and breathing hot and heavy in the already stuffy apartment. You felt him shift and when you looked up at him with eyes wide, lips swollen and a lovely flush dusting your face he snapped,

“Fuck this, I need you right now.” You let go of his shaft and he pulls his hand from your shorts, a sigh of disappointment heard between the both of you.

He pulled you in for another kiss while he gently guided you to the couch. You’re being laid back against the cushions and you’re pulling at his hair, bucking your hips into his thigh that rested between your legs.

“Hoseok.” You whined desperately.

“Please don’t say my name like that, you have no idea how close I’ll be to coming if you keep moaning like that.”

The insufferable heat of passion and from the apartment pushed you to rip his shirt over his head. His body was slick with sweat and your hands easily glided over his warm skin.

You’re ready to beg at this point. He ran his hands under your shirt slowly lifting the material until your bralette is the only thing that covered your very hard nipples. His hand cupped one and you let out a sigh of content at the more intimate contact.

But that’s not enough and soon you’re bare chested and his eyes never left yours while he took one of your nipples into his mouth.

“Mmm-my god. Hos-” your words die at the back of your throat as you arched your back to feel more of his warm tongue on your burning skin. By this point your clit is aching and the sorry excuse of trying to grind against Hoseok’s thigh just wasn’t doing it.

You take it upon yourself to slip your hand into your shorts as you began to pleasure your sensitive clit when a tight grip on your wrist pulled your hand out of your damp shorts.

Your arm in being restrained above your head and Hoseok is smirking at you.

“Clearly someone’s in a rush.”  He said with a devilish grin and a raised eyebrow. You suddenly felt a pang of guilt at his words.

“N-no I just…” But your sentence trails off too embarrassed to say that you’re about to cross over the fine line of lust and into absolute insanity- the need to cum and feel good the front most thought in your mind at the moment .

Hoseok wanted nothing more than to see you delirious with lust and so far gone with desire that you couldn’t help but speak whatever was on your mind.

“What?” He said pinching your erect nipples before lowering his head again to take one into his mouth.  

You whine his name, his warm tongue lapping at your skin was enough to make you lose your train of thought.

“Tell me what you want. Tell me what you’ve always imagined me doing.”

You pushed your modesty aside for your carnal desires and grabbed his hand from your chest and he watched with eager eyes. But he wasn’t expecting what you’d do next and his jaw was slack and a low groan escaped his lips as you placed two of his fingers into your mouth.

“Oh god that is so hot.” He palmed his hard length with his other hand slowly, careful to get too carried away by the scene laid out in front of him.

You made sure your tongue coated his fingers generously, never breaking eye contact through the whole gesture before pulling them out and guided down to your aching heat.

Too impatient to take your shorts off you slide them to the side and then his hand is hovering above your dripping core.

“Touch me.” you said resolutely but you can hear the sigh of desperation at the end of the sentence.

You watched his adam’s apple bob as he swallows, a bead or two of sweat slid down the side of his face and he began to slide two fingers into you. That’s all it took for your head to dig farther into the couch and your back to arch off the cushions.

“Please, please go faster.” You pleaded and he obeyed, loving the way you looked at the mercy of his hand. The rest of your words crumbled to moans and heavy panting, your hips driving down on his fingers with his every thrust. You’re grabbing at his shoulders, bringing him closer to your body.

He swallowed your moans with kisses and his lips searched for all the weak spots on your neck. One in particular had your toes curling and a high pitched “please” spilling out of your mouth.

You’re so close, but it’s not enough.

“Hmm, tell me what exactly you want.” His skin stuck to yours, eyes ablaze and soaking in your wanton pants.  

“Ho-Hoseok please..y-your mouth...” But your hand is already flying to your clit so desperate for release. He smirked an understanding glint in his eye and he slid down your body until his head was in between your thighs.

All it takes is his mouth around your clit and about 10 seconds of his tongue pressed roughly to it and you’re clenching tightly around his fingers, a loud hybrid of a groan and a scream resounded through the apartment. The sight of Hoseok between your spread legs- an image you’ve fantasized since you’d knocked on his door -was enough to make you cum immediately.

He replaced his finger with his tongue, delicately licking at your entrance until you’re pushing his back from the sensitivity.

“Well that didn’t take long.” He says wiping his mouth, “Have you ever thought about me like that- between your legs?”

His smirk was telling you he was trying to get you flustered and it worked.

You covered your face as it reddened but hesitantly nodded your head. When you peak out from behind your hands his face held traces of a faint smile at the corners of his lips and his irregular breathing was enough to tell you he loved the idea just as much as you had.

He keeps his eyes glued to yours as he finally removes your shorts and stands up briefly to remove his own. Your eyes trail to his hard dick- the tip pink and glistening with pre-cum and it had your mouth watering, animalistic desire coursing through your veins for him to ram into you.

“I need to be in you right now....I seriously almost came so hard thinking about you touching yourself to me in between your legs” He says voice deeper than you’ve ever heard it, eyeing you as he slowly pumped his hard length.

You get up from the couch slowly, still a little shaky from your orgasm not long ago.

“Hoseok.” You say, barely audible.

He looked at you curiously.

You swallowed and swore your face couldn’t get any more red. But if this was only going to happen once you wanted it to be done the way you’d always imagined.

“Will….willyoufuckmefrombehind?” You say

You look up from the carpet shyly and you can barely make out his reaction of a dropped jaw before his face became stern and he growled out his next commands to you.

“On the couch, face down, ass up...now.”

You scurried back to the couch and got into position, feeling exposed in this new position but so needy that you barely cared. And he’s suddenly behind you rolling on a condom.

“You’re so damn beautiful.” Hoseok says, running a hand from the small of your back over the curve of your bottom before he squeezed.

A groan of admiration is heard as he spreads your ass to get a better look at your arousal. You squeak at the unfamiliar feeling.

He sighs, adoration and awe laced into his words, “Your pussy is so pretty,” he says swiping the tip of his head between your folds, “and so fucking wet, god. And it’s all for me.”

You don’t even need turn around to know he’s wearing a smirk of pride on his sun kissed face.

You can feel more heat pooling just from his words of praise before you’re moaning and gently pushing up against the tip that’s running up and down your folds. There’s a sharp inhale of breath as Hoseok pushes in slowly, the generous amount of arousal from your core making it that much easier for him to slide inside of you.

You moan into the cushions at the pleasurable stretch of him inside you- just enough pain to feel good.

“Shit..Hoseok-” you moan again as you started to swivel your hips around him once you feel he’s pushed completely the hilt, “you feel so good.” You let out in a whine itching for movement.

All it takes is a small push back into his hips before he’s gripped your hips roughly, the pace fast enough to hear skin slapping against skin.

He grunts with every thrust and you clench around him after one especially rough thrust as he brushed right against your g-spot.

“God you’re so-so unbelievably tight.” He says

All you can do is moan and meet his hips with more fervor, feeling the warmth of your second orgasm quickly begin to pool in your abdomen. You bite your lip trying to stifle your moans and form a sentence.

“Ho..Hoseok...I’m...so...soclose.” You manage in between his thrusts.

He’s leaning over you, panting into your ear his words goading you on further to your release “Come for me, I want to feelyou come around my sick.” A moan that got stuck somewhere in the back of his throat drew from his lips, eliciting a higher pitched whine that had you rolling your eyes at the overload of stimulus.

You felt your toes curl in ecstasy, and you pushed your hips up further, burying your head into the couch cushion as your jaw fell slack. You open your mouth but no sound came out, any moans dying in your throat and only a breathy squeak, barely audible, fell from your lips as all your breath is lost to the orgasm that’s enveloping your whole body. You let out a loud moan once you were able to breath again.

You walls clenched around Hoseok whose motions weren’t as powerful or deliberate as before. His grunts and shallow breathing were enough to tell you he’s close.

“Shit, Y/n….I’m gonna- where-” He trailed off, slowing his pace to get direction from you.

You quickly pushed him off of you and scrambled to your knees on the cheap wood floors. Pushing your chest up, you looked at him and simply said “Here”

You watched him jerk off once, twice, before warm spurts of cum are falling all over your chest, a few powerful lines landing on your chin as well.

You gently suck at the dip of his dick to milk him of every drop before you feel him begin to go soft and let your lips detach from his head.

His face is pure bliss. He’s looking down at you totally fucked out, a lazy smile plastered on his face as he scanned the art he’d left on your chest and face. He watches as you swipe the cum that’s on your chin into your mouth. You smile as his features show incredulity at your actions.

He ran his fingers through his matted hair as you get off your knees and he’s shaking his head, still staring at you.

“God, where the hell have you been my whole life.”

You blush thankful his back is to you while he gets a paper towel from the connected kitchen. He comes back, smiling softly at you. He gently places a hand on the small of your back before swiping the damp paper towel across your chest to clean up the mess he’d left behind.

You internally swoon at his gentleness, looking up at him fondly.

“Thank you.” you say searching the apartment floor for your clothes. You quickly dress, the heat fading from the room and a chill ghosting over your damp skin.

You bit your lip, looking back at Hoseok who’d chose to just dress in a pair of basketball shorts. You study his lithe muscles as he stretches. But you quickly shake yourself out of your reverence for his smooth, post-glow skin.

You smile shyly and pointed towards the door, “I think I should go. You know….still have papers to write.”

He cleared his throat, opening and closing his mouth until his lips form a thin line. You turn, slightly disappointed- you’d hoped for a little more fluff after but quickly reprimanded yourself for expecting too much from something that was presumably a one time thing.

Your hand is on the knob when he’s grabbing at your wrist.

“Okay, so actually...uhm would you want to dinner me- er..what I mean is- would you like to go out...to dinner….with me.” He asked, rubbing the back of his neck with the hand that’s not firmly gripping your arm.

You furrowed your brows,“No.” You responded curtly.

His downcast eyes shot up to yours, his look of disappointment as obvious as the blush that spreads across his face at the embarrassment of rejection. But a smirk played on your lips.

“Not until I finish my papers. So you need to be quiet.” You poked fun at him.

His laughter makes butterflies swarm your stomach. He pulled you into his chest and pecked your cheek before letting you go.

“I’ll try, but no promises.”

You huff at the vague response, “Guess that’s as good an answer as I’m going to get.”

You can’t help but smile though, more determined than ever to finish all your work. You get halfway down the hall before you heard the door creak open behind you and you turn around to see Hoseok leaning half out the doorway, smiling devilishly at you.

“You can always come up along the way if you need a study break!” He says

You can’t help but break into a bigger grin and giggle, only offering a small suggestive shrug before you stepped into the elevator. You roll your eyes at the eager text you receive only seconds later:

 “Or I can come down, maybe you could give me some “tutoring lessons” ;P”

[notfye]

Tag Game?? Tag Game

Thank you to the lovely @raven2460 for tagging me!!

Fair warning, this is a very long and somewhat depressing post, but if I tagged you, you don’t have to read the whole thing, you can just move on to doing your own :)

Fill the categories and tag some people you want to get to know better!

Appearance:

5’3”

Longish slightly curly hair

White

Brown eyes that I lovingly call dirt colored

brown hair

Chubby? I guess? I’m working on it lol

Also a rather large chest bc of that

Uhhh I have a genetic mutation where I have 2 rows of eyelashes instead of one, double the amount gets in my eyes

I only wear overly large clothing bc I am uncomfortable possessing a human form or I wear dresses w tights bc I’m a fancy motherfucker and there is absolutely no in between

Ponytails like 90% of the time

Personality:

I don’t dislike people but. High school is making me lose my faith in them.

I’m president of my school’s drama club

Also for a theater kid I am very not affectionate and I actually was touch starved for like? A while? And I didn’t fucking notice until I got friends who like? Actually hugged me? The fuck?

“God bless the book people, for having words instead of friends.”

I have more “”””””masculine””””” traits than “”””feminine””””” ones to the point where I have A LOT of trouble relating to girls and it’s quite awful lmao

Uhh I project everything onto fictional characters (See: The problems Marius will be facing in She Lit a Fire (depression))

I’m cold all the time

I long after the dark academia/boarding school aesthetic

I cry far more than probably fits with the rest of me

Self destructive tendencies

I like everything so I can’t pick my favorite (singing history English acting chemistry biology reading algebra French classics writing the list goes on and on)

Ability:

I read really fast

I write, draw, and sing

Not gonna lie to y’all I really am one of those theater kids who want to be on broadway more than like, anything else

Knowing an absurd amount about weird historical things

I like to think I can draw hands well

I can memorize quotes (and other things) really fast

I’m really good at being a slacker

Hobbies:

Singing

Drama club stuff

Reading

Writing

Drawing

Experiences:

Uhhhh my life’s boring let’s move on

My life:

Alright only important shit

2009: bane of my public school’s existence. Also I used to have rlly bad insomnia around this time and I would see demons in the middle of the night and I believe that has shaped me as a person (lmao but I wasn’t sleep paralysis cause I could still move around so? Idk mate)

2010 : My second grade teacher was a bitch and she hated me, I continued to be the bane of my public school’s existence

2011: 3rd grade I remember as a v good year, I got sent to the principal for calling a girl a, and I quote, “a bleep”

2012: Wanted to kill myself for the first time ever, for like 6 months probably, yay intrusive thoughts

2012/2013: got sent to an all girls private school, made my middle school experience more hellish than it needed to be, bc again, I can’t seem to make friends with girls, but whatever

But I met my best friend there so? It was worth it lets be real

2014: middle school continues to be sucky

2014/2015: ah, 7th grade, the year when I saw the grade on my math final and broke down crying. Also the year I started slash shipping, truly a step forward. Also the fault of my best friend.

Remainder of 2015: Very anxious! All the time! Switched to a new school! Didn’t know how to function with people! Made a friend group that I think about an awful lot! There was so much drama! I procrastinated on everything and was so worried about getting a repeat of 2012 that I basically worried myself into being anxious all the time and having such a hard time. Still, I’ve been reminiscing about it a lot lately? Idk

Beginning of 2016: still couldn’t rlly human right, I listened to so much Bastille and watched a lot of elentori streams, as I had been doing, probably until gravity falls ended? Idk. Swore to myself that I’d start working towards better grades after February break. Did that. Made myself stop reblogging and liking posts about anxiety & depression and stuff that were harmful. Did that too. Eventually stopped procrastinating so much around May. Went to Delaware. Fell in love with the ocean.

End of 2016: I kind of? Got it together. Learned how to human. Got some friends, started doing drama club stuff, had a rather charmed life for about six months. I also started keeping a journal around this time.

2017: Hell Year I cannot wait to see it die. I made some friends and I really fell very hard for a guy and it was good until about June, when the guy had to go back to where he was actually from (he’d been an exchange student) and I was left fairly isolated for 3 months, because again, bad at making friends. I didn’t do as much work as I had wanted to over the summer and I think perhaps if I had it might have been easier to get back up again. At the beginning of the school year I was bullied and the school had to get involved and it was a rather large mess, and I just hadn’t been feeling very well. I kinda. I mean this is all very emotional for a tag game but it became clear eventually that that guy wasn’t nearly as good of a man as I thought he was and that he kind of led me on for a while and it’s a very long story that I can explain if anyone is curious but the point is that, at the end of this, I feel as though I have lost a large amount of time to him and that I was “asleep” until about November and it was just very very awful for a long time and I’m still kind of seething over it. And I know that I’m much different now than I was before this started and that bothers me a bit because I’ve not only been robbed of my time but also like, the girl I was before all this. Frankly, I often wonder if things would have been better if we’d simply never been friends.

But. The point is that I’m getting better. I’m in a better place now than I was a few months ago. And that’s good.

Relationship: lonely soul

tagging : @eponineinthebarricade @bisexual-eponine @grantaireswinebottles @actualbuckybames @marius-pintmorcy I’m sorry you all had to read that depressing long thing hahaha