#idk maybe it’ll all be better tomorrow who knows
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#Yknow when you feel so sad you feel like throwing up ?? Yeah :(#idk man it’s sooo fucking annoying like I would not be feeling this way if I was fucking consulted. Like a few phone calls. An email maybe#it wouldn’t’ve been hard!!!!!!!!!#its just so sad like no one thinks about anything people keep puttting words in my mouth#most importantly people keep being disrespectful of my time and my desires!!!! Like shit dude maybe what I want matters!!!#normally I wouldn’t say that but like. If you’d have given me a choice I would’ve had some fuckibg things to say!!!!!!!!#and it doesn’t help that my lesson didn’t go well I know that’s separate but it just makes everything feel so impossible huhhhhhhhh#ITS NOT!!! It will be fine I’ve been through far worse this is like. The most normal thing I’ve ever been upset about#but it doesn’t make it not suck :((((#I wish I could take a break without being punished hhhhh but tragically it’s finals!!! And jury prep!!! So I guess I’ll die!!!#idk maybe it’ll all be better tomorrow who knows#I think I will make pasta for school tmrw… that will help#ALSO IF YOU KNOW ME IRL I PROMMY IM OKAY I SWEAR ITS FINE MY TEACHERS R JUST PISSING ME OFF#Portal of rambling
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0:56 a.m. | nanami kento
0.6k words
“kento,” you whispered into the silence of the night and the dimmed lights on your room. It’s been way past midnight and you hadn’t been able to sleep, contrary to your boyfriend who’s lying beside you—his breath steady and calm.
when your voice didn’t budge him out of his slumber you tried once more.
“kento.” this time a little louder.
he then muttered an inaudible word, still closing his eyes. his hand wandered though, tightening his hold around the back of your shoulder; bringing you close to his chest. better, but the gesture was not enough for you who’s not feeling even a little sleepy, as mischief ideas filled your head.
third time’s a charm, they said. so you called him once more.
this time it finally did something as he hummed a reply, his free hand rubbed your side in a calming pattern, his hand went underneath your shirt that’s all rode up. he settled his grip just an inch under your chest, his thumb slowly moved up and down. “that tickles,” you said as you put a hand over his, refraining his little movement. Although, you’re sure he could hear the smile on your voice.
he finally opened his eyes as he gave you a lazy little smile and you swore you didn’t remember seeing anything more gorgeous than that. “why aren’t you asleep, hm?” his voice a tone heavier than usual, a tad husky as it laced deep with sleep. “i can’t sleep,” you whispered, like telling a secret to your best friends in a slumber party. “right. so i don’t get to either, yeah?” he replied, a smile on his face; and it’s only fondness shine across his feature.
“i mean, i understand if the old man needs his sleep even though tomorrow’s weekend. so by all means,” you said playfully, and that earned a deep chuckle from him. “don’t tease, who said we should have an early night today?” he raised an eyebrow, and for such a calm sleeper he now couldn’t stop his wandering hand as he’s diligent on giving you back-scratches—not that you’re complaining. “yes, but that was before my confidence in being able to fall asleep crumbled right before my eyes,” you claimed, feigning a serious tone. “i see, my mistake.” his eyes narrowed affectionately and you had a feeling you could say the dumbest excuse and he’d let you get away with anything.
you felt the need to sit up and do something but before you could even do that he held you down gently. “none of that, you’ll feel even more restless, love.” you couldn’t even protest at that since you knew he’s always right. “then what do you suggest we do now?”
“it’s a we problem now, hm?” he stared at you in amusement, knowing who dragged him into the sleepless night as well was none other than you. “is that a complaint i hear?” you threw him a questioning look. “it’s excitement, of course.” he laughed softly as he stroke your hair ever-so-gently.
“i should just start rambling maybe it’ll get me tired,” you said randomly and he just nodded without offering any question. “sure, i’m listening.” his hand didn’t stop moving. “where should i start?” you asked, relying on his answer. And of course it came easy for the man who seemed like he knew all the right words. “start anywhere, love. you could repeat anything, skipped over some words, or even tell it backwards and i’ll be here to point it out,” he said lovingly.
and you don’t know if it’s just his power you didn’t know about but it’s not even ten minutes after you started talking and as he kept doing the little gesture you could feel the sleepiness coming, welcoming you to one of your best slumber in a while.
--
idk how it took me this long to write this man. i love him so much.
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Forget About Eddie
Bestfriend!SteveHarrington x Fem!Reader
WARNINGS: mentions of Eddie being a fuckboy, a lil fluff and a lil smut.
Word Count: 2247
Summary: You and Eddie have just broken up, but you're still hung up on him. Steve hates seeing you so down and just wants to make you feel better (better than Eddie could).
A/N: idk i'm on a smut writing spree, expect some more fics tomorrow (maybe some eddie, maybe some slashers, who really knows). i hardly edited this and i feel like the ending might be a lil rushed, but hey, smut is smut.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SMUT BELOW THE CUT~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I just don’t really know what to do, you know?” You and your best friend, Steve Harrington are walking to his car after your shift at Scoops. You’ve been upset all night over a fight you had with your ex-boyfriend, Eddie.
You and Eddie had been broken up for a couple of months now, but you were still sneaking over to his trailer in the middle of the night. You couldn’t help it, you were young, horny, and Eddie was pretty good in bed. It was easy enough, until you had to get dressed and do the walk of shame across the trailer park. You know keeping this up wasn’t a smart idea, but a part of you also still loved Eddie. Even if you knew that he was just using you to get what he wanted.
“I don’t know why you’re still so hung up on that loser. You’ve always been too good for him and he didn’t deserve you.” Steve says as he unlocks the car doors and slides into the driver’s seat. He looks over at you and seeing your sad face says, “Alright, we’re going back to my place and having a movie night. I’ll call Robin and see if she’ll come over. You need to have some fun.”
You almost protest, but that does sound like it’ll get your mind off things. And if you’re at Steve’s you won’t be as tempted to go to Eddie’s.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Well Robin can’t come over. She’s got a date or something. So I guess it’s just you and me.” He says as he places a bowl of popcorn on the coffee table in front of you. “What do you wanna watch first? I just got a tape of The Outsiders. Remember that movie?”
“Yeah that sounds good. Thanks for the popcorn.” You reach for the bowl as Steve sits down next to you.
Throughout the movie you can feel Steve looking over at you until he finally reaches over to slide his arm around your shoulders. “Hey, I know you’re upset, but just try to forget about Eddie and whatever stupid fight you guys have had.”
“I know, Steve, It’s just really hard. I miss him and I can’t seem to stay away. I keep going over whenever he calls like I’m just some booty call and not his ex-girlfriend of TWO YEARS! It’s like that’s all he wanted me for in the first place!” You put your hands over your face and shake your head.
“Wait. You’re still going over there and sleeping with him? Why would you do that? You’re way too good to be waiting around for his phone calls just so he can get off and leave you upset.” Steve pauses the movie and turns toward you. You didn’t mean to tell him all of that, you’d been telling Steve and Robin that you hadn’t seen Eddie since the breakup. You never told them that you two had been secretly fucking every other night.
“Uh… I mean it’s hard, Steve! We were together for a long time, I can’t just stop seeing him!” You reach for the remote to play the movie again, but Steve grabs your wrist to stop you.
As you look up at him he says, “I know. I’m sure it is hard. But he can’t be that great that you’re still doing…that with him.” Steve’s arm tightens around your shoulders. He’s staring down at you with a look you’ve never seen from him before. His right hand moves from your wrist to your cheek as he brushes his thumb down to your chin.
“I mean…I don’t know.” It’s hard for you to get words out. Steve has been your best friend since you guys were kids. But all of a sudden something feels a little bit more with him. The way he’s looking at you and lightly gripping your chin is making you dizzy. You’ve never thought about him in any other way, but now your heart is beginning to flutter.
Steve notices it too, his eyes go to where his hand rests on your chin before looking back into your eyes. He slowly tilts your chin up and leans down to plant a gentle kiss on your lips.
You kiss him back before he pulls away and says “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did that. I think I just got carried away.” He drops his hands, grabs the remote and flips the movie back on.
“It’s… it’s okay.” You can’t think of anything else to say so you sink back into the couch and continue to watch the movie like nothing happened.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When you get home later that night, you can’t stop replaying that kiss in your head. You’ve never even thought about doing anything like that with Steve. He’s your best friend. You two have practically known each other since you two were in diapers. And besides, he isn’t your type at all. Apparently your type is self obsessed bad boys who break your heart yet still call you up at 1 in the morning. Look where that’s gotten me, you think. Steve is sweet, nice, caring. Everything that Eddie turned out not to be.
You fall asleep thinking about what would have happened had Steve not come to his senses.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Steve has been thinking about the kiss since he dropped you off at your apartment. He’s not sure what came over him at that moment. But he does know that he enjoyed it. He knows that he definitely wanted more. But he also knows that you’re his best friend and you’re still getting over that asshole, Eddie Munson. He doesn’t want to force you into anything else.
But he still can’t see what you see in that guy. He didn’t know Eddie that well. They ran in different circles when they were in high school, but he still didn’t notice anything particularly great about the guy.
And he was so tired of seeing you heartbroken over it. Steve thought you deserved so much more than Eddie.
Steve knew he could make you feel better than Eddie ever could.
Steve continued to think about that kiss as his hand slipped beneath the fabric of his boxers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two days go by before you see Steve again. He’s giving you a ride home from Robin’s house after a girls night.
“You know, you really didn’t have to come pick me up. I would’ve been fine walking home.” You say as you meet him outside.
“I know, but Robin’s is on my way home from work.”
Not much is said on the drive to your house. You’re still thinking about the kiss from the other night and you’re not sure if Steve is thinking about it as well. And if he is, you’re not sure what he’s thinking about it. Does he think it was a mistake? Does he want to do it again? You’re so lost in your thoughts that you don’t realize you’ve pulled up in front of your house until you hear Steve saying “Hellooooo. Did you hear me? I asked if you were okay with me coming in and hanging out for a while?”
“Oh. Um. Absolutely, that’s totally fine.” Both of you got out of the car and walked into your small apartment. “So uh, what did you want to do?” You weren’t sure why you were this nervous. You felt like the dynamic between you and your best friend had completely changed since the other night, yet Steve seemed perfectly normal.
“I was actually just wanting to talk to you. You know, make sure you’re doing okay? After that fight with Eddie?” Steve sat down on your small sofa and kicked his shoes off.
You sat down next to Steve, taking your shoes off as well. “Yeah, actually I’m doing a lot better. He hasn’t called since the fight which helps too. I’ve still thought about calling him though.”
Steve just stares at you. You recognize the look on his face as the same one from the other night. The look right before you kissed you. You’re trying not to get your hopes up that it’ll happen again, but your heart is beating a thousand beats per minute. Finally, he says “Look, I hate seeing you like this. I know you two were together for a long time, but he doesn’t deserve you. He never has. He took you completely for granted.”
You weren’t sure what to say. Steve continued, inching closer to you, “I guess I just don’t see what’s so great about Eddie.” He placed his hand on top of your thigh and slowly inched his other hand along the tops of your shoulder. He said what he’d been thinking about the other night. “I bet I could make you feel better than he ever did.” Steve tilted your head up once again and kissed your lips. Rougher than the first time, but still tender. He didn’t pull away this time.
You reached up to grab his face in your hands, kissing him with more force. Steve took hold of your hips, pulling you onto his lap before running his hands through your hair. The two of you were holding so tightly onto each other it was almost painful.
You were the first to pull away, gasping for breath. “Are we… is this…” the words died on your lips as you noticed the way Steve was looking at you with lust filled eyes.
“It’s okay. Let me make you feel good. Let me make you forget about him.” Steve lifted you up and sat you down on the couch, pushing your legs open so he could kneel between them. He peppered kisses from your neck to the top of your jeans. He began unbuttoning your pants and slipping them off of you as he looked up at you through his long lashes. He pulled down your panties and tossed them to the side before trailing his fingers around your swollen clit.
You almost couldn’t believe what was happening. Steve Harrington, your best friend, was on his knees with his face dangerously close to your core. Steve Harrington was rubbing circles on your sensitive bud. You threw your head back and let your moans escape.
“That’s it, baby.” Steve continued rubbing circles as he leaned forward and inserted his tongue inside your soaking hole. Your hands flew down to grab and pull at his hair and he hummed in response sending vibrations throughout your body.
You almost couldn’t take it anymore, you had to have him now. You were too impatient, too needy, for something you didn’t even know you wanted until right now. “Steve.” you breathed as you pulled him back up to you, foreheads touching.
“Shh.” Steve unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them down just enough to release his hard cock. He kissed you one last time, letting his lips linger on yours as he lined himself up with your entrance.
He pushed himself into you slowly, gently, taking his time and relishing the feeling of your walls clenching around him. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, moaning into his ear. “God, you feel amazing. I bet I feel better than him.” He said it with a sneer as he pumped in and out of you. You couldn’t respond, you just continued to moan. “Mhm, that’s what I thought.”
Steve leaned back and started rubbing circles around your clit. You almost couldn’t hold yourself together any longer. The tension that had been building in your stomach was about to explode. “Steve, I- I’m gonna come.” You managed to breathe out in between your moans.
“Come for me, baby, come on.” Steve’s thrusts grow faster as you reach your climax. He puts his hands on your face, the pads of his thumbs gently caressing your cheeks as you come down from your high. “That’s it, sweetheart.”
He bends forward to kiss your forehead before moving his hands to your hips, gripping them a little too hard. His thrusts grow more erratic as his own climax nears. Steve’s mouth grazes your ear as he continues to pump in and out of you. “Fuck, baby. You feel so good.” He almost can’t hold himself together any longer. He pumps one last time before pulling out and shooting thick white ropes onto your stomach. He slumps forward laying next to your side and runs his hands through his hair.
Steve stands up and pulls his jeans back up. He takes his shirt off and wipes your stomach clean before sitting on the couch next to you and pulling you towards him. With your head resting on his chest, you say, “Wow. I…wow.”
You can feel his eyes looking down on you as he brushes his hand through your hair. “I know. I’ve been thinking about you since the other night.”
You nuzzled tighter into his chest, “Do you want to stay the night?”
He chuckles as he picks you up and begins carrying you to your room. “Of course, babe.” He lays you down on your bed and slips under the blankets with you, pulling you to his chest once more. You feel so at home cuddled into Steve’s chest.
“So tired, Steve.” You mumble as your eyes begin to close.
“That’s alright baby, get some rest. We can talk in the morning.”
As you start to drift to sleep you can hear Steve say, “So, did you forget about Eddie?”
#steve harrington x reader#bestfriend!steveharrington#bestfriend!steve#steve harrington#steve harrington fanfic#steve harrington smut#steve harrington x fem reader#steve harrington x fem#fuckboy!eddie#oneshot#myfics#stranger things fic#steve harrington fic
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finally ➶ . ˚ ༉‧₊˚ˑ༄ؘ | miguel o’hara
miguel o’hara x fem! reader (nsfw!)
a/n: this is an odd series but um. yeah I don’t know. but nevertheless thank you so much for the support of this little series! it means a lot !
pls pls gimmie requests! ya girl is dying from writer’s block and I neeeeed ideassss pleaseee
warnings- nsfw, riding, unprotected sex, p in v, untranslated spanish, a lil bit of angst, third and final part to gone and holy shock! (idk how to make warnings 😭)
- 1: gone -2: holy shock
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
“What the hell? He doesn’t mean it, according to you?”
Peter probably tried to make you feel better with that. But he didn’t. He didn’t mean it? Was it a prank? Because it’s a shitty ass prank if it was.
“Yup! Just talk to him about it!!” Peter said enthusiastically.
“But if he didn’t mean it?”
“Miguel’s all bark-“
“No, he isn’t!” you said, your voice cracking immensely. You started to cry a little bit more. “He hurt me with that, Peter.”
Peter’s gaze softened as he gave you another hug to your sobbing figure.
“He hurt me so so bad with that. Notes are usually supposed to be small and have a small affect on a person. Usually it’s positive but goddamn.”
“It’s okay, kid.” He said, rubbing your back.
You sniffled and stood up from where you were sitting. The sky was already starting to turn into an indigo color and that was your sign to go home.
And cry, of course.
“Peter, I think it’s best if I go back home…”
“Okay, here, hold the baby,” He said as he held out Mayday in front of you, giving you a dopey smile.
You smiled slightly, “What?”
“It’ll make you feel better. This kid’s got some superpowers, man.”
You held Mayday and smiled at the redhead child. “She’s as beautiful as MJ.”
You gave Mayday a hug and gave her back to Peter.
“See ya tomorrow, kid. Talk to him, okay?” Peter said, giving you a stern look.
“Okay. Bye, Peter. Thank you,” you said, waving goodbye and opening an opening to your universe.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
“Yeah okay, he’s totally way outta line!”
Peter decided to tell MJ what happened. He didn’t know how to exactly help you so he decided to ask MJ.
MJ fumed because she met you a few times and you had her full respect. She didn’t care that Peter was friends with Miguel, she was pissed.
He’s not good at being a friendship therapist.
“I told her to just talk to him. I’m not sure I did the right thing though,” Peter frowned and glanced over at Mayday who was sleeping peacefully, snuggling with her Spider-man plush.
“I think you did the right thing. I mean aren’t they dating?”
Peter jerked his head towards MJ and widened his eyes. “Wait what?”
She nodded, “Peter, it sounds like Y/n and Miguel are having trouble in paradise.”
“WOAH THERE. Miguel? The grumpy, stompy, depressed guy? With Y/n? The also grumpy but as much of an ass as Miguel girl? What?”
MJ laughed. “Well Peter, I assumed because whenever you talked about them before, those two always seemed a little too close to be just friends?”
Peter had an epiphany, “Holy shiitake mushrooms…”
“The way they look at each other…You thought they were friends, Peter?”
Peter looked shocked, “THAT’S WHAT Y/N TOLD ME!”
MJ scoffed, “Maybe they are. But I don’t know, Peter! Friends don’t exactly do that!”
“WHAT?”
MJ went over to Peter and held his shoulder. “Just let them be okay? I trust whatever Y/n is going to do.”
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
You teleported to your universe, ending up on the top of your apartment building. You accidentally tripped and cut your leg on a piece of metal on the ground. “Ah, fuck.”
You limped to your apartment and turned on the living room lights just a bit, enough for you to see where to go.
You went to the bathroom to get the first aid kit and jumped as you turned on the bathroom lights.
“Are you alright?”
The hairs on your neck stood up as you stared at him behind you from the mirror. You felt chills across your spine as you made eye contact with his crimson red eyes.
He turned you around by the shoulders so you would look at him in the face. “I asked you if you’re alright?”
“How did you get in here.” You said, your voice cold and stern, making his eyes soften.
“You had your window open and the lights are on.”
“That doesn’t give you an invitation to come in.”
He shrugged. “It gave you an invitation last time.”
You frowned and tried to free yourself from his grasp. “Fuck you. Leave me the fuck alone-”
“Y/n, let me explain-”
Your eyes widened angrily. “Didn’t you want me GONE from your life? What the fuck happened to that? YOU LEFT ME!”
Miguel froze and stood back from you. You were already a crying mess from before and he noted how puffy your eyes were from your living room’s dim lighting.
All the sadness disappeared and all you felt was anger.
“Do you know how much I cared for you? And all you do is leave me and leave me a pathetic little note that you hate me?” You then walked over to him and slapped him. “How fucking DARE you.”
His eyes pierced through you as he whispered. “Cared? So you don’t anymore…?”
“Oh I didn’t say that. I hate myself for still caring for you, right now,” you said, feeling tears spill from your eyes again.
He put his hands in his face in frustration. “I did that because I care for you. I don’t want you to be hurt if you were to be with me, or for me to be hurt if I lose you.”
You looked at him and pouted, “Oh really, Miguel? You care for me?”
His face softened. “Yeah, cariño.”
Your face shifted to a calm look. “You still hurt me either way, you fucking idiot. You think i’m going to take that lameass excuse?”
He froze. “I hurt you?”
You smiled sadistically, “Did you think I was going to smile and laugh after seeing that bullshit? Oh ‘I want you gone from my life’ ahahaha! Give me a fucking break.”
You never thought you’d see the day Miguel O’Hara would go on his knees and start sobbing.
For you.
“I’m…I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it. I just didn’t want to hurt you,” he sobbed.
You felt a little cruel for wanting to laugh at his face. How was he going to fuck you and hurt you a few hours later?
That shit doesn’t make sense.
The silence was loud, giving you time to think until you finally spoke.
“How sorry are you?”
He looked up from his position and stared at you. “You can’t imagine how sorry I am.”
You smiled at him, “Show me how sorry you are.” You said calmly.
You held a staring contest with him as you took your suit off, showing off your toned body, leaving little to the imagination with your red panties and blue bra.
His concerned look turned dark yet he still froze.
It matched his suit.
You lead him on the couch and cradled him once he sat down.
“C’mon, babyyy. Show me!” you moaned, going to kiss his neck as you feel a wave of his cologne hit your nose.
It was your favorite cologne.
You felt adrenaline go through your veins. You didn’t know what else to do and remembered how good last night felt, although the end isn’t what you wanted.
It was irrational and impulsive, you know that. But he wanted you to forgive him and he did say he’ll do anything.
“Ay dios…Fuck-“ he groaned as you grinded against his erected member, making your pussy throb even more.
He stretched his arm to press the button on his watch to take off his suit, leaving him naked.
You panted and smiled. “So you really are naked under there? Thought it was just me being delusional.”
He smirked and licked his lips. “It’s all real, baby.”
You bit your lips as his lips started to big in your neck and breasts, leaving more bites. “Show me how sorry you really are, hermoso. F-Fuck!”
He steadily fingered and abused your throbbing clit as your soft moans fueled him to go even faster.
He then stood up and turned you around to gain some support from the couch as your ass faced him. You felt your panties and bra be ripped off by his claws.
“F-Fuck you, that was my favorite pair.”
“Aw? Was it because it reminded you of me?” He laughed, his dick grazing your wet vagina.
“J-Just put it in already, O’Hara!” you screamed, grabbing his dick yourself and putting it in. The both of you moaned as pleasure shot through both of you.
“H-Harder, O’Hara! Show m-me how much you’re sorry!”
He started slapping your ass continuously as he went in and out of you. He started groaning as you were grinding against him again, “Asi, mami. Fuckkkk.”
You felt him twitch and immediately took him out of you. He looked at you angrily. “Pa’que haces eso?!”
“Not my fault you were going to come already. It’s been what? 30 seconds? Can’t you go longer?” you teased.
You switched positions and faced him as you had your legs spread out. He held them in order to then go into you again, only much more aggressive and faster.
You smiled and kissed him as he went aggressive on your sensitive pussy. “Mmmm fuck…”
He grabbed onto your legs a little too strong, making you wince from your injury from earlier but he still kept going and going.
You felt him smile in the kiss too and he went even faster.
The room was filled with a symphony of skin slapping and moaning, with the occasional curses Miguel let out in Spanish.
It felt so wrong, but so fucking good.
“P-Princesa please. I’m gonna come-“ he said as he painted your walls and insides white once again. Shortly after, you reached your high and was grinding on him once again.
“Oh-Oh fuckkk Miguel!” you couldn’t help but claw at his shoulders from the pleasure crash you were experiencing.
“Let’s take this to the bedroom, princesa,” he said, as he carried you there.
He placed you on top of him as he entered in you again and you started riding his dick, which was hard again.
You started to make out with him again and moaned in the kiss. “Mmm fuck. Just like that, baby.”
He grabbed and squeezed your ass before he started spanking and he left your ass with several imprints of his hands.
He started attacking your breasts and massaged them as you rode his dick even faster.
You felt him twitch again as you clenched on his dick and smiled. “So soon?”
He threw his head back and grunted, “S-Shock-“
You laughed as he finished again, leaving the in between of your legs a sticky, white mess once more.
You went for a few more rounds until he tired himself out and knocked out.
“Already so tired, Miguel?” you said as he spooned you. He groaned as a response and closed his eyes.
This is what you always wanted; being in his arms as he protected you. The sex was just the cherry on top to a good fantasy come reality.
“I love you, cariño,” he whispered as he then fell asleep.
You smiled at him and stayed like that. You waited until you were certain he was knocked out and let yourself go from his grasp.
Lucky for you, you had an expresso shot so you didn’t feel so tired. You just felt a bit sore.
You took a quick shower and suited up with a new accessory you made.
You went over to your bedroom, being met with Miguel still knocked out in your bed. You smiled at the sight as he snored a bit.
“I’m just going to leave you a little note here if that’s okay? I’ll get going, cariño.”
“I’ll be gone for now, ” You kissed his forehead again while leaving a note next to his side of the bed along with your watch. You watched him for a bit before your face and tone went cold.
You went down to his level and whispered darkly as you smiled.
“I quit.”
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
“I’m going to do it, I’m going to do it!” Peter was pacing around outside of Miguel’s office and has been for 10 minutes.
MJ had Mayday for the day and Peter felt remorse for you, so he was going to stick up for you.
He felt bad that you went through this.
He understood Miguel was an ass to the average person but you two were friends to crying out loud!
It wasn’t until the door opened, revealing a fuming Miguel, stomping towards Peter.
“O-Oh h-hey Miguel-“
Miguel glared at Peter and scoffed, “Cut the shit, Peter. Where the fuck is Y/l/n?”
Peter raised his eyebrows, “What do you mean?”
“I mean what I said. Where. Is. She? Lyla?”
Lyla popped out from behind him and saluted, “Yes sir?”
“Find Y/l/n. I need to speak with her.”
Lyla frowned, “I’m trying but Miguel, she doesn’t have her watch and I can’t find her!”
Miguel looked even more upset. “THEN TRY HARDER!” Lyla’s eyes widened as she started to look even further, tracking your dimension history.
“U-Uh Miguel ? Are you alright?” Peter was a little frightened.
It’s obvious how terrifying Miguel O’Hara is when he’s angry.
“You. You were the last person to see her before-“ He stopped himself and bit his lip.
“You were just the last person to see her. Where is she?”
Peter frowned, “Well isn’t she in her dimension?”
“YOU THINK I HAVEN’T TRIED LOOKING THERE?”
Peter frowned at Miguel. “W-Well, if you weren’t such an asshole to her, maybe this wouldn’t have never had happ-“
Miguel pointed at Peter angrily, “Don’t you dare tell me what to do. You’re the last person I want to be lectured by.”
He turned around and walked back into his office, before Lyla spoke.
“I think I have something?”
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
You smiled as you enjoyed the scenery of Nueva York once again, enjoying an empanada.
Alone.
Your heart stung. It would have been better with Miguel. You already got your revenge but he probably doesn’t care enough to say something.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
“Hola mi amor!” Doña Rosa greeted, waving at your entrance. “The usual?”
You nodded as you smiled. “Yes, please. Just one though.” She nodded and went into the kitchen.
Doña Rosa’s husband pointed at you, confused. “Donde está ese chavo? Miguel, is it?”
As Doña Rosa finished packing up, she nodded. “Yeah mija! Something happened?”
You nodded. “It’s nothing! Don’t worry!”
Doña Rosa and her husband looked at each other and smiled at you.
“Whatever’s going on, I’m sure everything will be alright!”
“Hopefully, señora…Hopefully.”
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
You stopped munching on your empanada as you felt your Spider sense go off, but ignored it, thinking it was a bird.
That is, until you saw two web shots in a scarlet orange in your direction.
“Y/L/N!” Your body froze as you heard that familiar scream from behind you. He sounded so angry.
You had your suit but had a sweater on top. Which happened to be his.
You couldn’t bring yourself to give it back and it’s really comfortable.
You stood up and backed away.
He had his suit, except his mask, revealing his angry face.
Maybe you were being delusional again but it looked like he was crying.
“Miguel-“
He went over to you and hugged you, stuffing his face in your hair. He’s always liked the smell of your hair.
“I’m so sorry. I’m really really sorry.” he muttered, hugging you tighter.
You didn’t know what to say. You just stood there frozen.
“I- I just didn’t want you hurt and what I did was selfish but I didn’t know how hurt you felt until you did the same to me. And I’m so fucking sorry.”
You felt him tremble a bit, maybe because he was crying again. You heard his voice crack again.
“Please forgive me…” You patted his back and smiled.
“I forgive you. I’m sorry too.”
He smiled. “I see you’re wearing my sweater,” he pulled on the drawstring and laughed.
“It’s just comforting, don’t take it to heart, O’Hara-“
Lyla popped out and rolled her eyes. “Just kiss at this point. It shouldn’t be hard considering you two did other things. Or might I say, each ot-“
Miguel pulled back and rolled his eyes. “That’s enough, Lyla.”
Lyla looked at you. “It wasn’t hard to also find you since your watch had a different signal than the others and-“
“LYLA!”
She scoffed. “Geez okay!”
He looked back at you with sorrow written on his face. He finally held out his hand in front of you and smiled.
“Are you willing to give us a shot?”
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
y’all choose your ending xo 😘
idk what I j wrote here but woo hoo! gone is finally complete!
pls pls pls send in writing requests in my profileeee!!! thank you <3
tags ❤️🔥 -
@viriexo @voldemort-is-bi @catr4dora @ushygushybaby @leftcupcakedefendor
#miguel o'hara#spiderman#miguel ohara x reader#across the spiderverse#into the spider verse#fanfic#atsv fic#fanfiction#spiderman 2099#marvel#miguel o’hara x y/n#miguel spiderman#miguel spiderverse#miguel ohara x you#miguel ohara#miguel o’hara x reader#miguel o’hara x you#miguel ohara x y/n#miguel ohara fanfiction#miguel o'hara x y/n#atsv x reader#fluff#miguel o'hara fanfiction#mcu#spiderverse#y/n
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Ok hiiiiiiii!! I saw your new OCs and I have a request? Only if you want to ofc
Maybe a fic with Laurie having just an upset stomach for no apparent reason and being really off/out of it but thinking he has to power through (maybe bc of him always being in the caretaker role) and then one of the guys (idk who) on the Hockey team taking over a caretaker role? Like platonic cuddles and warm feels AHHHHH!
Ok ofc only do this if you want, just a thought bc I adore your writing!!!
anon! hi!! thank you so much! this means so much to me and this prompt was so lovely, i sorta gave him a reason for being sick so i hope you don’t mind too much! i haven’t written for laurie yet and i love it!
i also combined this prompt with a suggestion in @bellysoupset’s tags in which Laurie catches Maverick’s bug from this fic. hope you both enjoy!
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
In hindsight, it should have been obvious that Laurie would end up in this situation. But when it came to caring for others, critical thinking was not his strong suit.
“I’m home Mav! I brought some stuff for you!” He called out from where he was fumbling with several plastic bags at the front door of his and Mavericks shared apartment.
He wrestled his way in and shut the door with his hip, setting everything on the kitchen counter. He let out a long sigh and rubbed at his face.
Laurie had spent the better part of the weekend taking care of his best friend when he came down with an awful stomach bug, and the sleepless nights were clearly starting to get to him, because he found a persistent ache all throughout his body that definitely wasn’t there before. On top of that, he felt weirdly dizzy from the simple effort of carrying groceries in. His world felt a little unsteady, and he’d even venture to call it slight nausea. He simply chalked it up to having seen more vomit than he would have liked to the past few days.
There was a creak of the door and Maverick emerged from his bedroom, clad in only blue boxers and old t-shirt that would have been oversized on anyone who was 6’3 and built. He yawned and lazily scratched at his belly as he walked into the kitchen. To Laurie’s delight, the pallor from the constant vomiting seemed to have subsided, as well as the unnatural flush from the fever.
“Hey dude. You feeling any better? I brought you some soup from Whole Foods and a grilled cheese, if you can stomach it,” Laurie said, taking care to unload the groceries from their plastic bags.
Maverick gave a nod to Laurie’s question and had a seat at the table. “Thanks Laurie.. dude, you’re awesome, you know that?” Maverick smiled at Laurie and rested his head on his hand.
Laurie rolled his eyes lightheartedly at the display of affection and tossed the grilled cheese towards Maverick, who caught it with ease.
“I think I’ll take it easy for the rest of today, but get back to classes tomorrow.. I can finally keep stuff down,” Maverick continued. He tentatively unwrapped the grilled cheese, and when the smell wafted to his nose, he found that he was actually starving. He began digging into the sandwich with a vigor that had been missing the whole weekend.
Laurie felt like he could breathe again. It was awful to see someone you care about so miserable, but now that Maverick was on the mend, he felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.
“Alright, while you do that, I can do your laundry for you.. It’ll be nice to have fresh clothes for tomorrow, yeah?” Laurie said, putting the rest of the groceries in the fridge.
“Really?? Aww man.. you don’t have to do that..” Maverick said around a mouthful of food. He paused to swallow. “If you’re already doing laundry, do you think you could also throw my sheets in there? I must have sweat the fever out last night and uh.. yeah. Kinda gross.”
Laurie laughed and grimaced, but it was far from the grossest thing he’d experienced while living with all his siblings. In a way, caring for Maverick put him right back in his childhood home, in that sense.
“Yeah, I got it,” He replied before heading into Maverick’s bedroom.
The room still smelled vaguely like vomit since that was all Maverick had been doing in it lately. The smell of it made Laurie suddenly queasy again, which was unusual since he was pretty much desensitized to all that stuff.
He breathed through his mouth as he collected Mavericks strewn-about clothes and tossed them into the hamper. Then, he made his way to Maverick’s bed to deal with the sheets. True to word, they were slightly damp and smelled.. lived in.
He pulled them off the mattress and tossed them in the hamper as well. He grabbed the hamper and brought it to the tiny laundry room in the hallway, really more of a closet than anything.
From the doorway, he could see that Maverick had apparently finished his meal and was now sprawled on the couch, absentmindedly browsing various streaming services. He seemed to be content, finally. Again, Laurie felt a surge of warmth seeing his friend back to normal.
He began loading the washer with the laundry, but found that bending over irritated his stomach because it suddenly jumped to his throat. He felt an odd cramp surge through him. He stood up and paused, lightly cradling his belly.
That was weird. Why did he feel so weird? He paused for a few more seconds before finishing loading the washer and adding in the detergent.
His stomach still felt all stirred up, and he groaned miserably. Food. He hadn’t eaten yet. That had to be it. He was just nauseous from hunger.
He left the washer to run, and padded into the kitchen, rummaging through cupboards to see what he could eat. He absolutely refused to eat Maverick’s soup, since he bought that specifically for him. Maverick was on the mend, but that didn’t mean 100% better.
Instead, Laurie microwaved some mac ‘n cheese, and sat on the couch with Maverick, who had fallen asleep watching The Empire Strikes Back.
The food in front of him didn’t look particularly appetizing, despite his insistence on the fact that he was just hungry.
He took small, hesitant bites while watching Luke Skywalker getting trained by Yoda, but each bite sat heavy in his belly. He tried to focus on the movie a little more, but the movement on screen just made his head spin. Perhaps the food had been a mistake. Instead of feeling better like he was sure he would, he felt worse and worse.
Not wanting to waste the food anyways, he forced himself to finish before shoving the bowl on the coffee table and wrapping a protective arm around his middle. The nausea had increased ten-fold and at this point, his belly was audibly gurgling.
It finally occurred to him that maybe he caught whatever bug Maverick had brought home, and the thought deeply unsettled him. He didn’t want Maverick to feel like he had to care for him, he could care for himself. He didn’t want to bother Maverick with this when he was finally getting some rest, especially if Maverick was planning on returning to classes. No, Laurie would have to handle this himself.
His stomach lurched threateningly, and a burp fought it’s way up. He muffled it with the back of his hand and softly whimpered. He felt horrible. His world was spinning on its axis and the food he had eaten was violently churning.
His mouth filled with thick saliva and his jaw felt imperceptibly heavy, He realized that this was a warning. Unfortunately, the warning came a little bit too late because as he was trying to get up to get himself to the bathroom, his shoulders hitched forward and he retched up a thin stream of watery vomit.
He didn’t even have a chance to take a breath before he heaved, bringing up his barely digested lunch all over the front of his shirt and the floor. Before he could muffle it, a guttural burp forced its way out, but it morphed into another retch that brought up more thick vomit. He felt his body start to sway as a stray tear dropped down his cheek.
“Laurie…?” Maverick sleepily mumbled from his spot on the couch. He sat up and once he processed what the fuck was going on, he shot up. “Shit, Laurie!”
Laurie wanted to respond. He wanted to say “I’m fine, just go back to sleep.” But he couldn’t. He felt humiliated. He wanted to be stronger than this, he didn’t want the only other sick person in the house to have to be the one to deal with this.
Laurie pitched forward with another violent retch that brought up a torrent of sick, this time splattering on his jeans. His entire body was shaking. His vision was swirling. Everything hurt. God, why did he have to catch this bug now. He felt himself start to fall forward, his body apparently having given out from pure exertion.
A strong hand caught his shoulder.
“Easy.. easy buddy.. oh Laurie.. it’s alright, just breathe..” Maverick said softly, helping Laurie sit up a bit more. He began to rub gentle circles into his back and frowned when he felt the sickly heat radiating off of him.
“You’re burning up.. oh man.. did I give this to you? I’m sorry Laurie..”
Laurie shook his head. “Not your fault,” he choked out, burping into his fist. The nausea was persistent, and his belly ached terribly but he felt done for the time being. He wasn’t even sure he had anything left to throw up. Now, he had to do damage control. Maverick shouldn’t be dealing with this. “I’m—” Hic. “I’m fine.. don’t worry about it..”
“Respectfully, this is not fine. You’re sick, you’re miserable. Let someone lighten the load. Isn’t that what you told me?” Maverick said, maneuvering himself so he could meet Laurie’s eye. He cupped a gentle hand over the redhead’s cheek, both as a comforting gesture, but also to gage the fever. “Cmon.. Let me help you.. you spent so much time taking care of me this weekend, I want to do this. You’re my best friend Laurie.”
Laurie was as surprised as Maverick was when he felt hot tears begin to fill his eyes and spill over on his warm cheeks. He’d never felt care like this before. He was never the one to receive it, at least. He suddenly felt all warm inside, and it had nothing to do with his raging fever. Laurie simply nodded, not letting himself speak for fear that he would get choked up. Pesky fever, making him all emotional. He finally understood what Maverick had meant at the hockey rink that day. It had to be the fever.
“Alright then. Nurse Miller mode. I’m gonna run you a hot bath, and when you’re in there I’ll clean all this up. I don’t want you to worry about it. Just focus on getting out of those clothes, okay?”
Laurie nodded, for once not having it in him to put up much of a fight. As Maverick left, he got to work on himself. A bath did sound nice. Besides the obvious mess that was all down his front, he felt pretty grimy in general. His fiery hair was moussed and damp with sweat. The smell of sick clung to his nostrils and it made him even more nauseous, despite having nothing left to throw up. Yeah, a warm bath sounded heavenly.
He carefully peeled off his t-shirt, taking care not to get any of the vomit back on him. He repeated the action with his jeans until he was clad in only his boxers. He felt suddenly very chilled, and began shivering where he was standing stiffly in the living room. He could also see now exactly how bloated he really was. His upset belly stretched slightly against his boxers, and gurgled ominously. He wrapped his arms around it as he waited for Maverick to come back out.
“Alright, the baths ready whenever you are. I’ll set out some clean clothes too.. I’m sorry you’re so sick dude.. It’s uh.. not gonna be fun..”
Laurie snorted. “I figured that much..” He lifted his eyes to meet the taller man’s. “And uh.. Mav? Thanks… really. This all uh.. it all means a lot..”
Maverick rolled his eyes playfully and lightly shoved Laurie in the direction of the bathroom. “I’m supposed to be the sentimental one! Go take your bath!”
Laurie laughed again, and shut the bathroom door behind him.
He made quick work of washing himself, then scrubbing at the sweat and grease in his hair and applying his usual products. He spent a few extra moments basking in the warm water, letting it sooth his cramps, before draining the tub and wrapping a towel around his hips.
He shuffled into his room and saw that, neatly folded on his bed, was his favorite pair of pajama bottoms and a loose t-shirt. After putting on his favorite printed socks and another pair of boxers, he shrugged both items on and let out a sigh of relief. The pajamas were much less stiff and tight on his bloated belly, and the material was like heaven on his fevered skin. He felt more alive than he had in the past two hours.
After roughly towel-drying his hair, he made his way to the living room once again, where he saw Maverick wiping up the last of the mess on the floor.
“Sorry about that by the way..” Laurie sheepishly murmured, taking a seat on the couch.
“Nah, it’s fine. It was gross, but I’ve dealt with worse.” Maverick said, tossing the paper towels and washing his hands. He also took a seat on the couch, scooting closer to Laurie, offering him a water bottle and two pills. “Think you can stomach it? You’re probably dehydrated as hell. Plus, you’ll feel better after taking some fever reducers..”
Laurie’s stomach roiled as if in reply, and he grimaced. As much as he didn’t want to, he knew it would help, so he popped the pills in his mouth and knocked them back with as little water as possibly. He sat as still as possibly, letting the following waves of nausea wash over him before his stomach finally settled a bit.
Maverick sighed contendedly, and placed the bottle on the coffee table. “Alright.. let’s get some rest dude..”
Laurie hummed in response, and sank further in the cushions. He was finally warm and comfortable and he relished in it. He watched absentmindedly as Maverick resumed The Empire Strikes Back. Some time between Han Solo being help captive in Cloud City and Luke Skywalker’s duel with Darth Vader, Laurie stopped listening because he suddenly found it impossible to keep his heavy eyelids open. He let his head rest on the large, warm shoulder of his best friend. For a moment, despite the persistent ache in his belly and fever headache was suffering from, all was right in the world. All because he had a friend who truly cared about him.
#my ocs <3#maverick miller#laurie callaghan#prompt fill#sickfic#emeto#upset stomach#hurt/comfort#fluff#platonic cuddles#these two would die for eachother can you tell#the BEST buds#poor laurie is really goin through it#hes cute so it’s ok
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Weekly Update March 8, 2024
I didn’t do as much as I had hoped over spring break due to still being sleep deprived, but tomorrow and the next night I should be able to catch up. I’m making a good deal of progress on stuff.
I figured out animation with Clip Studio enough to make a little gif of Romeo playing piano, to go along with his theme. I’m really happy with how it came out. That’s the biggest song I have ready, but I’m really close on another (unless I decide to get more ambitious, which I might), and I do have a smaller one scheduled to go up Tuesday. I’m feeling surprisingly good about music.
The main problem I’m having is kind of a ‘just finish it’ thing, where I’m just not motivated to go record melodies or melody parts for whatever reason. That’s what’s holding back a couple pieces now, but I’m hoping that I can do some tonight or tomorrow. I’m thinking tonight because I got hit with inspiration for another character theme melody, and I don’t want to lose it while I sleep tonight, but I’d feel bad starting in that when another character theme and some other miscellaneous pieces are also awaiting melodies and recordings. I’d like to knock a whole bunch out tonight, because theoretically they shouldn’t be that bad, the annoying part is dressing them up for use which doesn’t need to be done tonight. Im not sure if I want to tonight because I also want to draw, at a minimum I’ll record that character theme melody.
The other big music thing is a vocaloid cover of a song that I’m using to test out how vocaloid works. I got the audio back from the friend with the voicebanks, and it sounds a lot better than expected! There’s a couple things I do want to tweak, but I don’t think I’d be able to do it from within the program, it’ll probably be more me fiddling with the wav file. Idk song is going surprisingly well, shouldn’t be very complicated to round up instruments, I already got all the plugins set up it’s just a matter of recording. I’ve also managed to find a guy in my area who offers Guitar lessons for cheap, which I’ve been taking and I do think the two I’ve been to are helping. Maybe if I get really brazen I can record organic guitar instead of using a vst, since it should be mostly or entirely power chords, but it’s not the end of the world if I can’t.
I do want to figure out visuals to go with it. I was a little hesitant to really put in a big effort with it, until I heard that buying a license for cover rights is ‘not actually that expensive’. I don’t know if that means 10 or 200 bucks but worst case I can hold onto it until I’m comfortable enough to drop money if it’s really that expensive. I’d like to do a simple music video with the vocaloid character, since the original song’s video is also really simple, although I need to figure out character design. Might throw a few together and put up a poll.
I’ve been trying to get more drawing stuff done too, some miscellaneous animations mostly. I’m really trying to push myself to finish up the timings I need for my commission sheet, and honestly I’m pretty close. I feel bad because I probably will have to increase prices after all, but I’m also offering other options, which can still be cheap. I’m trying not to undercut myself for my level of work, but art commissions are so expensive that I don’t want to be overcharging either. Most of the comms I have done have come with tips, so I guess people are willing to pay a bit more than I was charging anyway, but even then I don’t want to crank the prices high just because a few people are willing to pay more. I’m charging based on time, I just need to sort out how long things take.
Final point, comic writing/thumbnailing is going well, I’m at 25.5/32. Unsure how bad editing is going to be, but I’m kinda editing as I go along so I don’t anticipate it’ll be that bad. I’m expecting to be able to actually start making pages soon. What comes next could either be a continuation or a pitch for the other story. I get more questions about the other story, so I’m tempted, but I also feel like it’s a harder sell than the first. Whatever I need to finish the first one first, and that’s what I’ll do.
I’m still messed up on sleep and flareups are also picking up pretty bad, but only in the mornings, so I bet if I get more sleep they’ll go away too. Either way I do have a consult for the next surgery to deal with that in a couple months, so I should hopefully be okay. Plan tonight is to either draw some more or record some stuff
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VOTE! DO IT!
(My Guide to Voting of Sorts:)
Early voting is still available in many states for tomorrow, Nov 4, if you are registered! If you’re not sure if you’re registered, check online through your state’s website, or simply go to https://www.vote.org to see if you can still vote, where to vote, if you can vote early, etc.!
YOU HAVE TWO DAYS TO INFLUENCE THE FUTURE OF NOT ONLY THE UNITED STATES, BUT THE WORLD, FOR DECADES, IF NOT *CENTURIES* TO COME.
Don’t think your vote doesn’t count based on your state’s voting trends either—even if you’re sure your presidential vote won’t “count” for the electoral college, VOTE IT ANYWAY!Pennsylvania flipped red in 2016! Georgia flipped blue in 2020! and IOWA could flip blue in 2024! (<link)
ALSO, MAKE SURE TO VOTE STATE AND LOCAL. Up AND down the ballot!!! That’s actually where the most power resides regarding your day to day life, especially state constitutional amendments and local propositions.
You can research your local issues and candidates with many online tools by the way! I prefer https://ballotpedia.org/Main_Page - there is also https://www.vote411.org/ballot , and many others I’m sure if you look it up!
(Quick reminder that these are only tools, as you CANNOT vote online— you MUST visit your local polling station!!)
(Examples of local issues: I just voted on restoring reproductive rights in my state, as well as for a well needed local half cent tax to fix our roads, including my own street, which hasn’t been repaved the entire time I’ve lived there. Better late than never, and—)
Better ON TIME than ever- check your registration, and if you still can, VOTE Nov 5th, in two days at the latest. It’ll be here before you know it!!
Oh yeah, and I’m not your dad, but here’s that old extremely useful quote about fascism that I wish more people deeply knew and understood (plus important context: Niemöller initially symphathized with some fascist propaganda before becoming a vocal critic of those 1930 Germans [idk the censorship trends on Tumblr I’m being cautious, you know what and who I mean]):
“ First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a socialist.
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.”
—Martin Niemöller
It does not matter who you are now. The definition of “the enemy within” will continue to expand until you—even you who thought you were safe— will be at risk of arrest, prison time, possibly torture, and even death.
Fascism does not stop escalating until no one has a voice except a dictator with supreme power.
No matter what he says, Trump does not care about you. No matter how loyal you are or were to him, he sees you as a number only to clutch power again.
If he sees you as an enemy, he WOULD and WILL kill you- even if he says he would never do so now! I’m deadly serious, and I’m speaking to all past and near future voters here, especially past Trump voters.
Hell, he’s jokingly (but sincerely) said as much 8 years ago: https://youtu.be/qC16c98hDPc?si=hT5VcgRs1pPjTzhy
youtube
This is not about just one issue, even ones most pressing to us in the moment. I disagree with Kamala Harris on many issues, particularly on the U.S.’s foreign policy on Israel, but I voted for her to vote against Trump. And so maybe my voice could be heard in a government that is still intact as it has been since the Civil War, and ideally listens to all of its constituents, or at least *could*, if I am vocal enough, organize with people, etc.
(Also, voting third party, as always, in our flawed two-party system, WILL hand the electoral college to Harris or Trump, depending on the state. (< Link)
I strongly advise you all not to do that, as it is a crapshoot who a third party vote would support.)
My choices for local elections could differ from yours too—politics is complicated.
But I think one choice—for President—is pretty clear this time, if you care about the future of yourself, your neighbors, and your planet.
Even if you never vote for a Democrat again, I advise voting for Harris. Just this one time. This election is NOT a normal one. You and your children’s future are at stake. It’s time to put country first over party, so we even have a country that everyone can safely call home.
Politics is about future moments as much as our current moment.
It is a continuum—
And again, this election will have ramifications for DECADES, even for CENTURIES.
Don’t sit this out.
VOTE.
Your life—and the lives of your neighbors—quite literally depend on it.
Thank you.
(Bonus: my I Voted sticker from the 2022 midterms I still have in my wallet! I had to take the photo at an angle and crop it so it looks a lil funky, but here it is! Democracy in action! I have three I Voted stickers in my wallet now. Man, even on my important voting post I’m a nerd, LOL. Well, my fellow nerds, my geeks and freaks (respectful freaks that is), go vote!!! 🗳️ 🤓☝️🇺🇸💙)
Because I remember disinformation being spread around the last few elections and I’m sure assholes will bring it back:
YOU CAN’T VOTE ONLINE.
YOU CAN’T VOTE FROM YOUR PHONE.
IN MANY STATES THERE ARE LEGAL CONSEQUENCES FOR PHOTOGRAPHING YOUR BALLOT.
DO NOT WEAR CAMPAIGN GEAR TO THE POLLS.
DO NOT TRY TO PERSUADE PEOPLE TO VOTE FOR A CANDIDATE AT THE POLLS.
DO NOT ENGAGE IN ANY KIND OF POLITICAL DISCOURSE AT THE POLLS.
NO ELECTION IS EVER A SURE THING, EVEN IF YOU’RE IN THE BLUEST OR REDDEST OF STATES. IF SOMEONE TRIES TO TELL YOU THAT YOU CAN SIT THIS ONE OUT, THEY ARE EITHER IGNORANT OR MALICIOUS.
VOTE.
#please vote#go vote#2024#us politics#usa news#news#world news#election 2024#kamala harris#donald trump#kamala 2024#trump 2024#lgbtq#lgbtq rights#trans rights#intersectionality#human rights#climate change#climate crisis#reproductive rights#reproductive freedom#vote 2024#vote#voting#Youtube
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What cardio have you been doing? I remember a while ago you were talking about rowing, you still into that? I had been running pretty consistently for most of 2024 but I got hurt in August so I stopped. I'm healed now and definitely have been ready to get back on the treadmill but I think I'm still using my injury as an excuse 😂😂 I need to get back into it though because I definitely feel the impact on my mental health
I’ve been running almost daily. Not like super far or anything but regularly and at a decent pace (I’m not trying to set a record, I’m just trying to do it most days and improve). The thing is, I realized I make every excuse under the sun not to go to gym right - like not out loud but subconsciously I’ll be like “oh I can’t go now because I won’t have enough time for a class and there’s no point to go if I’m just doing my own thing” or “oh now there’ll be lots of people so I’ll wind up waiting for ages” or “oh I didn’t book for the class today so there’s no point trying now, I’ll just go tomorrow” or my favorite one “I don’t want to park there now so I’ll wait until my boyfriend goes and go with him” and then when he goes I’m like “oh no! I have something else on! Oh well, I’ll go another time” - and as a result like I go MAYBE 3 times a week? If we’re being generous? Which is fine like it’s still worth the membership I think and stuff but it’s not a very consistent habit. It’s also like… very deeply random lol like it’ll be three days in a row or even 5 days in a row and then I won’t go for a week. I also really struggle to motivate myself to do cardio at the gym (that’s why I was into the rowing for a while because that was a bit better but my gym now only has two rowing machines and there’s often a queue) so I’ll basically do a class (and I do go for those and that’s how I think the membership is sorta paid for like because drop in classes are fuck expensive) and/or do a circuit workout and/or fuck around in the pool (it’s one of those pool machine things yk with the current so idk if it’s actually that constructive because my brother, who knows these things, tells me it’s not). It’s not a very good routine. So what I realized is I have absolutely NO way to make an excuse not to go for a run lol like in the morning unless the weather’s shit. All I need are my trainers and my house keys. If I oversleep, I can run shorter right, I don’t need to go for a full 5K even - I can even just do sprints up and down my road (which is a hill so that’s also pretty cool for this). There is fuck all stopping me from running. It’s not that fun for me but it definitely makes me feel better to do continuous and regular cardio so 🤷🏻♀️ that’s what I’m doing at the moment.
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Grace, Nancy, Teddy & Gia Pt.1
Nancy: Safe travels, my lovely
Nancy: I totally understand why you didn’t want to stay until tonight, even though I’m gutted to see you go, obvs 🤍🤍🤍
Grace: ☁️🛫🤞🏽🤍🙏🏽🤍🛬☁️
Grace: you’re THE BEST for understanding TYSM & I’m SO sorry AGAIN!!
Nancy: No, don’t be silly, it’s happened to us all at one point or another
Nancy: And I looked at his socials, he didn’t post anything about you, so, that’s a positive
Grace: oh GOD why is it ALWAYS me though??! 😭😭
Grace: girl, I told you, he’s an 😇
Grace: 💔💔💔 FML
Nancy: I don’t even UNDERSTAND how you got quite that drunk… like, you were REALLY hammered
Nancy: You must’ve had more than you remember, it doesn’t make ANY sense otherwise
Grace: idk idk 💀 what I DO remember is so so bad it’ll literally haunt me forever 😳😬
Nancy: If he’s such a 😇
Nancy: like… why did we end up here? I’m trying to understand your thought process
Grace: it’s COS he is, I know that doesn’t make sense…
Nancy: Because you didn’t feel good enough
Grace: 👌🏽 maybe it makes total sense, cos yeah
Nancy: Babe 🥺😭😭
Nancy: but you only ended up acting like 1000% worse than you actually are because of that 💭
Grace: 😭😭😭😭
Grace: I spiralled, I’m SUCH an idiot
Nancy: Look, he probably ended up as drunk as you when he went to the club after, he won’t remember [whatever embarrassing detail either she told you last night when wasted or Teddy did in that lil debrief]
Grace: 🤞🏽🤍🙏🏽🤍 cos I’ll wanna die if he remembers that or [something else you clearly did as bad or worse] BUT I can’t get my hopes up, like, I’m literally NOT good enough for him, last night proved it
Grace: I freaked out but I was right, still
Nancy: I bet he’s been on hundreds of worse dates, it’ll barely register
Nancy: You’re just insecure and traumatized, that doesn’t make you a bad person, AT ALL
Grace: me too I’ve been on 1000000s & here I am 😱👻 ILY for trying to make it better but you can’t
Nancy: You should get a bloody mary on the plane, you’ve earnt it
Grace: 💡👏🏽
Grace: ☕️ isn’t gonna be strong enough & it’s 🤴🏼 triggering now anyway
Nancy: If he actually managed to cure you of your caffeine addiction, you’d have to send him a thank you note
Grace: 😂 he’d really be asking himself wtf is wrong with me then
Nancy: Aren’t manners very 😇? 😏
Grace: you’re asking the wrong girl, babes
Grace: I’m no 😇 if only 🥺😭😭 & me sending a 💌 would have the poor boy thinking I’m 12 now I’ve drank like it in front of him
Nancy: He should have taken better care of you, I said it before and I’ll say it again 🤷♀️
Grace: it isn’t his fault, he thought I ate CARBS 👌🏽👌🏽 it’s mine I tricked him
Nancy: 🤔🤔🤔
Nancy: Okay but who orders for someone in this day and age, that was weird, it isn’t the 50s
Grace: he was being romantic
Nancy: Oh God, you really like him, don’t you?
Grace: I’m just saying, I ruined it, he didn’t do anything wrong
Nancy: But do you like him, like actually?
Grace: it doesn’t matter, we’ll NEVER see each other again, I can’t & he won’t wanna 🙈🙉🙊
Nancy: Say he did, though
Grace: ofc I like him I’m not brain damaged
Nancy: As someone you’d like to see properly
Grace: in this, like, pure fantasyland we’re 💬 in rn, duh, but in reality there’s no way
Nancy: Stranger things have happened
Grace: mhmm & all the weird things that happen to me are BAD so
Nancy: 😔 Well, it’s over now, honey
Grace: thank god, I just wanna go home
Nancy: 💔
Grace: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean like yours isn’t
Grace: you know that isn’t my 💭💭
Nancy: No, it’s fine
Nancy: I just wish I had somewhere I could run back to too, that’s all, that’s not on you
Grace: I should’ve stayed, none of this is on you 😔
Grace: I’m the actual WORST & you can hate me if you wanna
Nancy: You have school tomorrow anyway, you should focus on that, getting your grades to get out
Grace: idc about school I’m not getting the grades & they’ll lowkey have to keep me there forever or give up 🙄🙄🙄
Grace: you’re where my focus is 🤍
Nancy: 🥺 You’ll make me cry
Nancy: I’m just so sorry that it didn’t go better for you, I feel like it’s my fault for saying you should get changed or something 😟😟
Grace: no no no DON’T EVEN!! you did EVERYTHING right too!!
Grace: you told me not to 🤮 & I didn’t listen
Nancy: I just wish I could protect you from feeling like that, it really breaks my heart
Grace: 😭😭😭😭
Grace: I put you in an impossible situation, I literally shouldn’t have told you, idk what I was thinking
Nancy: you can tell me anything, I always want that
Grace: it isn’t fair it’s TOO MUCH & all I’ve done is made you feel 💔 too
Grace: I’m so SO sorry
Nancy: Shh, it’s all okay, that’s what I’m here for, we get each other
Grace: I PROMISE it was a 1 time thing & I’m not gonna do it again EVER 🤞🏽🤍🤞🏽🤍
Nancy: 🤝🤍🤝
Nancy: Because you don’t even NEED to do it
Grace: I didn’t know what else to do but it’s okay cos I’m not gonna be there again, it’s over like you said
Nancy: You just can’t be with someone if they’re going to make you feel like that, even without knowing themselves
Grace: I’ll just have to die alone, at least I still have you & you’re not mad at me 🙏🏽🤍🙌🏽
Nancy: Girl, we’ll be together, because same
Grace: is THAT why you got a dog??
Nancy: That sounded filthy, Grace! 😲😂
Grace: UM 😂😂 I was just saying you missed the memo lonely old ladies usually get cats 😂
Grace: or dogs they can fit in their laps anyway 😂
Nancy: Wellllllll the person I know with the most cats is your mama and she ain’t ever been lonely so 😶
Nancy: It’s good to have one like Rex, living alone, he can protect me
Grace: 👌🏽👌🏽 no need to rub it in &/or bring her up rn ty
Nancy: We’re all jealous, sis
Grace: don’t I know it… me most of all
Nancy: Truly men are only good for one thing and she is so right for that
Nancy: I give up on them for anything BUT, I swear 🤞🤦♀️
Grace: wow, okay, cool then I JUST give up
Nancy: Nun vibes 👰♀️✝️
Grace: or lesbian vibes, but no, I still CAN’T
Grace: that would be WORSE
Nancy: You are SUCH a bigot, OMG 🤪
Grace: 🏳️🌈 excuse you I’m an amazing ally 🏳️🌈
Nancy: 😂😂😂😂
Grace: whatever, how am I the freak, again, cos I don’t want the 1 thing men are good for?? it’s so rude
Nancy: You really would be better off if you liked girls, a man is never going to give you the emotional support you need, I swear
Nancy: Life is such a sick joke, honestly 🙃
Grace: I’d have to kms or date the UGLIEST girls ever
Grace: neither are the mood
Nancy: 🏆👸 is so real
Grace: UGH, this much baggage is EXHAUSTING
Nancy: and you 😴 for a thousand years, snoring SO LOUDLY
Grace: MEAN!!
Nancy: my ears were bleeding keeping you safe, hoe 😘
Grace: IOU for not letting me die I GUESS though it doesn’t feel like a HUGE favour rn ngl
Nancy: It’s okay, you’re allowed to be ungrateful rn
Grace: when are things gonna get better?? I wish I was gay then it’s, like, guaranteed they HAVE TO
Nancy: When you get to train, be qualified, at least then you’ll have your business to build up and focus on… works for my parents
Grace: cos they also have each other
Nancy: I think my mum would still be happy, without any of us, tbh
Grace: mine too
Nancy: Why did they bother, honestly? 🤷���️😕
Grace: I can’t deal with how they can take for granted something I really badly want
Nancy: 💔 I know
Nancy: I’ll not do it, in solidarity
Grace: 🥺😭😭
Grace: I’d NEVER stop you though! you take SUCH good care of me, any kid would be the LUCKIEST ever
Nancy: No baby would be as cool as you anyway, even if it was remotely possible for me and the way my life is shaping up, no way
Grace: Rex is the lucky one for rn 💖👑💖
Nancy: True 😍😍😍
Nancy: My parents don’t need any more grandkids yet, I am NOT trying to compete with him on this 😷
Grace: Yeah I DON’T wanna talk about it either
Nancy: I can’t believe they made it to now though, she must have got rid of some, right?
Nancy: Like, she’s nearly 25, how long have they been together? There’s no way
Grace: STOP ⛔️⛔️
Nancy: I’ve got feelings about it too, babe
Nancy: She was like, my best friend since birth before they did… THAT
Grace: it’ll forever be too much to unpack, I just CAN’T
Nancy: There’s going to be a baby explosion in your family soon though, you need to prepare yourself mentally
Grace: …
Grace: I’ll NEVER be mentally strong enough 😣😣
Nancy: It’s the reality though, AWFUL as it is
Grace: I know 😭
Nancy: Jan and Ava claimed to be more sensible but look at the pair of them
Nancy: Ugh, it stresses me OUT 😥
Grace: I’ve totally changed my mind, I wish I wasn’t going home now
Nancy: Don’t they all, like, live with you, basically
Nancy: I couldn’t STAND to watch Ava and James all loved up with his kids like they’re theirs all the time like that
Grace: I’m counting down the days til I can leave, obviously
Nancy: Yeah, I bet
Nancy: like he’s nice to look at but if that’s never coming your way it’s entirely depressing
Grace: UGH
Nancy: I should’ve locked it down with James whilst I had the chance, he is too intent on ruining my sister’s life with his mistakes now
Grace: but then instead he’d be ruining yours
Nancy: She’s my little sister, I’d do anything for her
Grace: 🥺 I know, but you’re like my big sister, I can’t let you 🥺
Nancy: 💞💞💞💞💞
Nancy: I just wish I could make her see it for what it is, that’s all
Grace: me too, I’ve tried talking to her loads of times even though she treats me like I’m stupid whenever I do
Nancy: They’ve got way too much pride, they can’t see we’re trying to help but
Nancy: at least we try, however unappreciated
Grace: I wish you were my sister, I hate the ones I’ve got, they don’t try AT ALL
Nancy: I’m more than that, it’s special 🤍🔒🤍
Grace: I should be allowed to live with you, it’s not like anyone cares if I go to school or not when I’m back there OR what else I do
Nancy: The way your school works is SO confusing though, if you were here you could already be in your last year of your beauty course instead of them forcing you to do like sixth form schooly vibes
Grace: IKR?!
Nancy: Like, you DON’T want to go to Uni and be that girl… such a waste of time 💀💀
Grace: & when I don’t pass which DUH I’m NOT gonna, hello??! they’ll try & make me redo the year, they do it ALL the time 💀💀
Nancy: Oh babes, not you being like 20 still in your uniform, you cannot, that’s TOO much
Grace: 😷😷😷
Grace: I’ll have to walk out with no exams 👋🏽😘 idc cos I don’t need to look back when I leave ❤️💂🦁🌹🤍☔️🤍🫖🎡💷💙
Nancy: We cannot wait 🥳🥳🥳🥺🥰🥰
Nancy: we being me and Rex, obvs
Grace: not you & whoever you hit up last night while I was being unhinged in [whatever the restaurant is called] ??
Nancy: Lord no, no daddy for you yet, sorry 😌
Grace: I’m the opposite of mad about it 🥳🥳🥳🥺🥰🥰
Nancy: I would call you out but as you plan to be forever single too, it’s all good 😘
Grace: sorry not sorry!! I need you 🤍🔒🤍
Nancy: Forever and ever, girl
Grace: I miss you already & always
Grace: this is gonna be the LONGEST week of my life 🙄🥱
Nancy: I don’t even know HOW I’m going to fill my weekdays, for real 😩
Nancy: Gonna have to hit up this 🔗 even though idc about him
Grace: with dog walks ?? 😂😂😂 jk I know you would NEVER 😂
Nancy: 😆 My 🍑 would thank me but nah
Grace: ❌🐶💩🚫
Nancy: ABSOLUTELY NOT
Grace: … can I ask you for a favour that’s maybe almost as bad?
Nancy: … Go on
Grace: can you keep checking in on Teddy for a sec?? cos I had to unfollow obvs & I wanna make sure he’s not, like, swearing off all girls & planning to die alone too… I’d feel worse than I already do atm 💔💔
Nancy: Of course, we have plenty of mutual friends anyway, I will undoubtedly see or hear of his whereabouts
Grace: thanks, it’s cringe to ask but, like, I have now so ✌🏽
Nancy: It’s cool, he’s not going to find out you did
Grace: yeah true 🙌🏽
Nancy: You don’t want a report back, do you?
Nancy: Like I’ll just make sure he’s cool but I won’t blow you up over it
Grace: I’ll be calm, it’s none of my business anyway
Grace: as long as he’s okay & over it
Nancy: 👌
Grace: IOU again 🤍
Nancy: [Me like, should probably come at this boy and cackle so you don’t lose your composure here hun]
Grace: [go for it gal]
Nancy: I was THIS close to losing it
Teddy: Dare I ask why?
Nancy: [just send him a screenshot of this poor gal earnestly wanting to check you aren’t heartbroken]
Nancy: See?
Teddy: That I did an incredible job on her? Yes but I already knew it 💔🧸💐 Poor me
Nancy: God, you make me sick 😏
Nancy: I thought she was joking, in a rare display of self-awareness
Teddy: I’d love to make you sick, choose your preferred method & get back to me
Nancy: Haven’t you got a noose to fill?
Nancy: The devastation being as real as it is
Teddy: Okay, auto erotic asphyxiation it is 👀
Nancy: 🙄😘
Nancy: With the mood she’s in, my death will look like a suicide pact
Teddy: She’s gone, get in the mood I’m in
Nancy: You’re being so subtle, however will I guess what mood that is?
Teddy: & you’re being hilarious, of course I miss you
Nancy: I miss you more
Nancy: having to listen to her holier-than-thou version of you just made me want to talk to the real you
Teddy: Invite me over & you can do more than talk
Nancy: Do you have to be invited in 🧛♂️
Teddy: No, but it’ll upset Rex if I barge in, he’s protective of you
Nancy: He is 🥺
Nancy: you’ll have to be nice, if you come for a visit
Teddy: It’ll be different when I have a 🔑 but for now I’ll behave well & let him be the man of the house
Nancy: It’d be mean of you to put him in his place today, he doesn’t know he isn’t meant to be top dog yet, poor baby
Teddy: I’ve missed him too so I’ll be 😇 daddy & not 😈
Nancy: 🤏 triggering for me but I’ll let it slide, you can’t help how boring she’d like you to be
Teddy: It won’t be boring for either of us when you relay everything she said about me
Nancy: We talked about A LOT of stuff, there’s definite potential for progress
Teddy: Good
Teddy: & has your new bed arrived yet?
Nancy: Luckily after she got to the airport
Nancy: she’s already confused about the sudden appearance of the dog
Teddy: You live alone, you need him
Nancy: Yes but you know, I can’t fit it in a handbag and I’ve not made him his own social media profiles… so why did I bother ???
Teddy: 🙄 hers are full of cats, she’s hardly the authority on dogs
Nancy: She has no taste, sorry to say
Nancy: She definitely thinks he’s scary but is not gonna say that to my face
Teddy: I’m aware, darling, the disgusting clothes she tried to pick out on her own before I stepped in spoke for themselves
Teddy: but she’s correct about one thing, she should be scared of him
Nancy: You have pretty good taste in clothes, if my memory serves
Teddy: Nothing is going to look anything but awful on her body regardless but I like that you’ve noticed
Nancy: Yeah, well, I kept the lingerie on for ages
Teddy: I still owe you an outfit too, I haven’t forgotten
Nancy: How is your head this morning?
Teddy: Fantastic, if you’d like me to make us our reservation at [the restaurant he took Grace too so they can recreate it] for tonight, I will
Nancy: I suppose we’ll have to eat at some point, true
Teddy: I’ll bring home for Rex what I ordered for her, I couldn’t possibly suggest you eat it
Nancy: You wanted to make me sick, not give me a lifelong disorder, yeah?
Teddy: I want to make you happy, baby
Nancy: You’re helping
Nancy: how comfy this bed is is high up the list too
Teddy: Are you going to show me?
Nancy: [send him a pic on this enormous bed like omg]
Nancy: You could fit so many 🐶 in this thing
Teddy: I’ll make you 🤰 sick & we’ll see how many babies we can fit in there
Nancy: I am really in the mood to get pregnant after promising her I would never so
Nancy: good thing our moods are matching
Teddy: Because you’re breaking a promise to her I’ll make one to give you twins that aren’t mutants like your brothers, for yours & your parents’ sake
Nancy: You’re SO giving
Nancy: I’ll make sure they’re boys, for your sake
Teddy: Thank you, it would mean A LOT to me
Nancy: Anything for you seems like a risky precedent to set but I’m not scared
Teddy: I couldn’t be any prouder of you for overcoming your fear of me
Nancy: You’re even cuter than Rex, just don’t say anything
Teddy: I’m only in the mood to say your name
Nancy: let me hear it
Teddy: [SUCH a shameless voice note, me like sir you live at home, thank god you do have a rich person gaff and are probably as far away from your parents as poss]
Nancy: 🥴 Oh
Nancy: the fact you can do that as loud as you want now
Teddy: I’m determined all your neighbours are going to hate me LONG before I move in
Nancy: They’ll be begging me to throw another party instead 😁
Teddy: They’ll have to wait until I’ve finished begging you for what I want
Nancy: Baby
Teddy: It’s quite a list, they’ll probably be rather impatient, I’m sorry
Nancy: I’m not
Teddy: Me either, not at all
Nancy: I can’t leave you needy
Teddy: What kind of mother would you be if that’s the precedent?
Nancy: The only mother of your children you want
Teddy: Yes
Nancy: I’m really glad you get to give me everything you have, it’d be wrong to hold back, wrong for us
Teddy: Our moods definitely are matching
Nancy: I couldn’t have got her out the door fast enough
Teddy: You know I’d have to trick you if you didn’t want what I want & I’d feel bad about it
Nancy: Sorry I’m as fucked up as you
Nancy: we can trick everyone else, whenever we want to use them
Teddy: I’m not, I love that you’re as fucked up as I am
Nancy: It makes me want to be with you always, how high I feel thinking about the things I can admit to liking to you
Teddy: You can tell me anything, I’m not afraid of that as a set precedent either
Nancy: I want to feel you getting hard under me when I tell you everything she said
Teddy: Okay, I’ll try & think about something else for a while so it’s how I have to become again instead of just the state I’m already in
Nancy: It’d be so hypocritical of me to expect that, but you’ll get more turned on, twitchy, trying to fuck me, it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen
Teddy: I am a new level of turned on since we started doing this
Nancy: it’s unreal, you are
Teddy: You are, it’s unbelievable I haven’t fucked you yet, the amount I’ve thought about it & the amount I’ve cum for you
Nancy: I want to feel like I’m full to the brim, like genuinely can’t move for it, that’s the only thing that would be appropriate
Teddy: You will, I woke up feeling like that
Nancy: 🤤 you should’ve woken up in my mouth, I’m so sorry
Teddy: It isn’t your fault you had to wake up to her big mouth, I’m sorry, you deserve so much better
Nancy: Her crying is foreplay, that’s as good as she will be for us
Teddy: Please tell me you recorded it 🙏
Nancy: Do I love you?
Teddy: Desperately
Nancy: and I as desperately wanted to touch myself whilst she was, so, yes, it was necessary
Teddy: I as desperately need to marry you right now
Nancy: the answer is yes
Teddy: You’re fucking perfect
Nancy: Boys are always too nice and I hate them for it so much
Nancy: you’re the most special, my dream boy
Teddy: Tell me about it, most girls are pathetic, it makes my stomach turn over in the opposite to a fun way
Nancy: I’ve spent so damn long being unsatisfied by everything and everyone, no matter the combination or how long I kept it all going
Teddy: I know, so was I
Nancy: We were with the same people, on the same things, it barely touching the sides
Teddy: I was beginning to feel as devastated by it all for real as Grace thinks she is
Nancy: Tell me about it, it’s exhausting, staying on their level when I want to go so much further
Teddy: & then you get reckless, do things you wouldn’t & shouldn’t otherwise
Teddy: I stayed with [the girl from the very beginning she asked him about] too long
Nancy: She’d turn you normal, I’ve watched it happen so many times
Teddy: I felt it starting to happen
Nancy: You were born for this, to be depraved
Teddy: You can’t decide you want something besides this, we’ll never find anything else like it again
Nancy: I just want more, no boundaries
Teddy: I don’t have any, my father paid a fortune every term to prevent me from being expelled from school
Nancy: As he should, how much of this is his fault
Teddy: I insist upon the majority of the credit, naturally
Nancy: You’re the one I want, not either of your siblings, so it must be true
Teddy: Nurture, or lack of, can only be blamed to an extent
Teddy: DNA the same
Nancy: Our kids don’t stand a chance
Teddy: They stand every chance of being just like us, which is why anyone reproduces in the first place
Teddy: at least your ego, unlike your brother’s, is worthy of being gifted that, because you’re incredible
Nancy: No, you
Nancy: I don’t know how I’m meant to act around all your mini-mes 😍
Teddy: However you like, they owe you everything, they wouldn’t even exist if not for you
Nancy: They’ll be the most spoilt, there’s no way to resist
Teddy: No, you will
Nancy: 🥰
Nancy: Nothing is changing this, touching what this is
Teddy: I’d seriously go insane
Nancy: Not in a fun way
Teddy: When I thought this was over
Nancy: I could feel the spiral coming, the amount of shit I’d have to do to try and replace what this has given me already
Teddy: It’s irreplaceable, I wouldn’t be able to try, I’d have to give up & become like them
Nancy: I won’t let it happen
Teddy: We can’t
Nancy: I’m done watching everyone get taken over
Nancy: you don’t deserve that slow death
Teddy: I’m going to watch you get everything you’ve ever wanted, nothing else
Nancy: This is going to be the best week of your life, you have no idea
Teddy: I have lots of ideas
Nancy: that is what I like about you
Teddy: But yeah, it is going to be the best week of my life, no doubt
Nancy: So far, anyway
Nancy: I don’t plan on stopping
Teddy: & I absolutely don’t intend to stop you
Nancy: At least you can seem suitably subdued on your socials but still have things you can post, keep her 👀 off you
Teddy: Hers are going to be too funny
Nancy: Are we going to be genuine with how we’re struggling this week or act like we’re living our best life? 🤔😂
Teddy: Genuine isn’t something she can do, clearly
Nancy: yeah but what if you’re stalking her socials because you’re SO into her?!
Teddy: Of course
Nancy: The weird confidence with a total lack of self-esteem in general is so weird
Teddy: It would be sufficiently jarring to frighten off other boys with a different motive
Nancy: That is what she does best, yeah
Teddy: I’d offer her some tips if it weren’t entirely counterproductive & a secret how much they like me
Nancy: It’s safe to say you do not have the same type, if she was honest with what she wants and not what she wants to look like she wants
Nancy: should actually go to church to find herself a man but there we go
Teddy: She’d rather live a lie & she’s about to
Nancy: She’s so welcome 🥰
Teddy: 🧚🏼♂️
Nancy: You’ll really wanna ease up on the fairy stuff though, she is basically homophobic
Teddy: I can’t wait to introduce her to the family, she’ll fit right in
Nancy: Gross
Teddy: Her mother will sleep with anything with a pulse, a paid therapist isn’t necessary to recognise the correlation
Nancy: She would choose to ignore how the multiple baby daddies are the issue there 🙄
Teddy: She’d have her own by now, she obviously doesn’t see it as an issue
Nancy: It unavoidably is, kinda shocked she didn’t go that hard into her trauma once she was hammered but well done, sis 💁♀️👏
Nancy: She just wants to be normal, despite the fact her complete lack of defining or unique features is what makes her so easy to overlook
Teddy: She’s given me a ridiculously easy task at least, be a bore & a romantic cliche
Nancy: 🥱🥱🥱🥱
Nancy: Thank God I’ve given you other chances to impress me
Teddy: I would’ve found & taken the opportunity if you were for some reason yet to be impressed
Nancy: I usually am but
Nancy: I want you to change that so you better
Teddy: Is that my eagerly awaited invitation?
Nancy: Are you really not on the way already?
Teddy: Perhaps, or perhaps not
Nancy: I’m not getting out the good paper to write you one, come on
Teddy: There’s the dyslexic privilege I’m ready to exploit
Nancy: Focus on exploiting me, thanks
Teddy: Focus & you’ll be aware I’m on my way
Nancy: I’m very focused, I have no other plans today
Teddy: I’m very pleased to hear it
Nancy: This bed is too nice to get out of
Teddy: It should be, we worked hard to make it nice with all those decisions
Nancy: I hope you like it, enough to stay
Teddy: I like you enough to stay
Nancy: You make me feel
Nancy: it’s like weak and dumb but in a good way, somehow?
Teddy: Well, I did insist I’d treat you better than your father & that’s what they do in the negative, so I’m on the right track
Nancy: I hadn’t forgotten, sort of seared into my brain, that one 😳
Teddy: I hated when you said you weren’t going to hold me to anything I’d said
Nancy: Yeah, I know, it was mean
Teddy: You’re not allowed to forget, it’s too important & we both know how in your face Grace & I are going to be
Nancy: Alright, I’ll hold myself to it
Teddy: I love you, remember I said it to you first
Nancy: and you’ve told me, any motive you could have
Teddy: I’ll repeat it every chance I have
Nancy: I’ll try not to be cunty to you, remember why we’re doing this
Nancy: at some point, I’ll have to turn into your biggest fan anyway
Teddy: Fighting just means making up, I’ll try & remind myself
Nancy: I don’t do jealousy, this would be a stupid reason to start
Teddy: You being jealous of anyone is laughable, over her it couldn’t be more ridiculous
Nancy: You can call me dumb about this, I’ll not fight you
Teddy: It means you care, I don’t want to fight about that
Nancy: I know you like it, you’re soft
Teddy: I most certainly am not
Teddy: [photographic evidence nobody asked for, soz as per to whoever is driving him rn]
Nancy: Oh, OKAY
Nancy: I’ve never been happier to be proven wrong 🥺🥺🥺
Teddy: Did you pick me because you think I’m soft?
Nancy: I didn’t know you were
Teddy: I’m curious what it means, aside from a blatant 🧚🏼♂️ slur, possibly?
Nancy: Yeah, I’m cyberbullying you right now 😉
Nancy: I’m not sure exactly what I mean… just that you’re more invested than I thought you’d be, maybe? You want more than what I assumed you would
Teddy: You expected me to be more calculating, callous, I understand why
Nancy: Just more predictable even
Nancy: All I offered you at the start was the chance to use her and a share of a decent stash, remember
Teddy: I haven’t forgotten you owe me A LOT of K, predictable as that may be
Nancy: 😏 we’ll find somewhere not entirely predictable to take it
Teddy: One thing you should’ve already had a fixed idea of about me is I’ll always be willing to go deeper down the rabbit hole, Alice
Teddy: the moment a better offer comes along, that’s what I want, regardless of how far away from the starting point it is
Nancy: I didn’t imagine you’d say no to a chance of hooking up
Nancy: but more like you’re ticking off a who’s who, not this
Teddy: Nobody, aside from your sister, has ever said no to hooking up, it’s not what I said yes to, I didn’t imagine that part would even be much fun
Nancy: That’s a little rude
Teddy: I’ve never been happier to be proved wrong either, darling
Nancy: You haven’t yet, no pressure or anything
Teddy: But I have, it’s been the most fun so far
Nancy: But if it’s shit now I’ll have to pretend I never said any of this and kick you out
Teddy: Oh please, I’d refuse to go anywhere until it was good
Teddy: Who do you think I am?
Nancy: You’re the one that’s put it in my head
Nancy: You’ll have to take the spare room and start paying rent
Teddy: I’m used to being disappointed, I’ve been open about that, it isn’t a personal attack worthy of charging me rent
Nancy: 👌 roomie
Teddy: Okay, fine, I’ll add it to our roleplays
Nancy: but I know what you mean
Nancy: and can guess why you wanted to do it in the first place
Teddy: We’ve talked through our motives pretty extensively by now, but if you feel like there’s something you’re still doing guesswork on, you can ask me
Nancy: The lack of a challenge she presents is more than made up in the one I do, it’s simple enough
Teddy: If you were a challenge
Nancy: Really?
Teddy: Come on, it hasn’t exactly taken us long to get here
Nancy: Wow
Teddy: There’s no reason to be offended
Nancy: I’m not, just disappointed, so what’s new
Teddy: There’s less reason to be disappointed
Nancy: I’m not about to play into your hand, so you have every reason to be disappointed, actually
Teddy: It isn’t a game, you know that
Nancy: but it is, and that’s why you said yes
Teddy: It was when I agreed to do this, it’s not anymore
Nancy: Alright
Teddy: What are you upset about?
Nancy: I’m not upset, you just reminded me what we’re actually doing here
Teddy: Nancy, this is silly
Nancy: You only feel it now because you reckoned you were about to achieve your goal
Teddy: No, I don’t feel it because that isn’t what my goal is
Nancy: We have no reason to trust each other, that’s stupid
Teddy: Are you seriously going to do this again?
Nancy: Obviously
Teddy: You do trust me
Nancy: That would be stupid
Teddy: You’re being stupid not to when the entire reason we’re here this fast is because we’re so well suited
Nancy: and not just how easy it was because you’re so great, right?
Teddy: How many times can I tell you I’m not playing you?
Nancy: That’s what you say when you’re trying, you slipped up, sorry
Teddy: You want me to slip up because, you said it yourself, you feel under pressure
Nancy: If it was real, of course I would, that’s intentional too
Teddy: Call it off because you’re scared, it’s nonsense to go for this angle & turn me into someone I am not
Nancy: Be who you want, Teddy
Teddy: If who you want to be is crazy I can’t talk to you
Nancy: We don’t need to talk, it’s not useful to either of us right now
Teddy: When you’ve seen sense you know where I am or am likely to be
Nancy: I’ll avoid where I imagine you’re more likely to be if you do the same for me
Teddy: I don’t promise to
Nancy: Why would you bother
Teddy: It isn’t beneficial for either of us for me to give you your own way when you’re this wrong about why you want it
Nancy: all I want now is to party and there are so many places I can achieve that, even if I have to walk out of any you might be in
Teddy: I won’t be there, I have no interest in piling disappointment upon disappointment, it’s all boring, I told you
Nancy: I know what it is, it’s what I have
Teddy: No, we have each other if you just stop
Nancy: How, you made that impossible
Teddy: Nothing is impossible, even while you’re having an insane identity crisis about this, I know who we both are
Nancy: Don’t be so bloody patronising
Teddy: Don’t behave like your clueless cousin
Nancy: Shut up, she has no backbone, she wouldn’t say any of this
Teddy: It’s the same act of sabotage with an identical end result
Nancy: If you think I’m going to sit around and cry about you like that, dream on
Teddy: I’m painfully aware of what you’re going to do & it’s as tragic
Nancy: I don’t call you tragic for being a slut
Teddy: Because I’m not going to fuck someone else instead of you in order to fake I’m still in control when I’m really losing it
Nancy: I just have no interest in fucking you now, as shocking as that might be to you
Teddy: It doesn’t shock me at all your new plan is to lie to yourself & to me
Nancy: Jesus
Teddy: Have a blast being deluded with most of the city about one thing or another, I hope you get the chemical help you need to do so
Nancy: You’re delusional if you think anything about this is attractive
Teddy: I’m not on a mission to attract you, you’re the one who thinks I am, or was
Nancy: Just another day for you, obviously
Teddy: Believe what you want, Nance
Nancy: You’re shit at this
Teddy: Because I’ve never done it before, a fact you’d know if you dared to accept this is actually different
Nancy: Every time I try, you just remind me how it ain’t
Teddy: Maybe you’re right, because whenever you doubt my motives & question me constantly, I have to ask myself why I’m trying to change anything about the way my life is
Nancy: Nothing about this is easy, chat all you want about me wasting my time and being delusional like it’s not what you’re going to go back to
Teddy: But that’s where you’re wrong, it would be easy for me to stay with you
Teddy: I don’t want to go back, I want to go fucking forwards, together
Nancy: I don’t know what’s forward, what’s there
Teddy: Yes you do, but you don’t want it, you don’t trust me enough to let yourself
Nancy: I don’t, and I don’t trust myself
Nancy: I should already be there by now
Teddy: Then that’s it, we can stick to the Grace plan or not, whatever you like, take some time to think about if that’s something you still want
Nancy: Don’t talk to me like this is a meeting
Teddy: It more or less is
Nancy: You can fuck off then
Teddy: Okay
Nancy: Not okay, prick
Teddy: [just leave that there for now hun like the petty bitch you are fucking off despite the fact she wants to keep having a go]
Nancy: [we really fucked you over genetically for having a temper hun, keep your mouth closed though, just unfollow him dramatically everywhere you can for the petty spike of feelings that will give you at least]
Teddy: [obvs you gotta unfollow her too & most importantly you gotta interact with whatever Grace is posting even if it’s just a like or a story view or something because duh, hard same on being cruel and dramatic]
Nancy: [when Grace would definitely tell you so you’re just here seething]
Teddy: [soz not soz, well soz to Grace but you know, oh lads you do amuse me]
Nancy: Can you actually stop, thanks
Teddy: I’m having my own fun, you can’t stop me
Nancy: You said take some time so let me
Teddy: I’m likewise not preventing you from doing that
Nancy: You obviously are because what is that if not going ahead with the Grace plan
Teddy: For all she knows my finger slipped, it commits you to nothing because it can just as easily mean nothing
Nancy: I’m the one who has to discuss what it does or doesn’t mean with her, so no, cut the crap
Teddy: 🥱
Nancy: Teddy, I’m serious because I’m not in the mood to humour her about this
Teddy: I’m done, you don’t need to cry about it
Nancy: You know the damage is already done, that’s why you did it, thanks SO much
Teddy: You’re SO welcome
Nancy: You’re making the decision easier to make
Teddy: Oh good, after all, it is what a gentleman would do & I’m about to forgo the role, have to do what I can while I can
Nancy: You’re as free to continue wooing her as I am to tell her why you started
Teddy: If I was interested in doing so for its own sake, I wouldn’t need your permission, you’re correct
Nancy: You’re that transparent, don’t worry
Teddy: Yes I am & yet here we are
Nancy: You really had to make her talk to me though? Think of something better
Teddy: Why would I? It’s the ideal punishment
Nancy: Because I could call it all off for real if she doesn’t shut the fuck up
Teddy: I don’t care if you do, it’s you who’ll lose out
Nancy: Bullshit
Teddy: I’m not invested in Grace or in any of the rest of your family, I am in you & as you’ve pointed out, I’m wasting my time
Teddy: there’s a multitude of other things I can use to do that too
Nancy: And none of them are as fun, clearly
Teddy: Well, I’m hardly having fun with you either, so as I’ve said, who cares?
Nancy: Because I can’t wreck my family on my own and you can’t yours
Teddy: I’ll find a way which doesn’t involve you or needing anyone’s help, I’ll have plenty of time, nothing but, in fact
Nancy: Right, of course you will
Teddy: There’s no need to pretend my family will be that difficult to ruin, they’re halfway to having done it themselves
Nancy: And how long have they been like that, centuries?
Teddy: Darling, I’m not as old as you, it isn’t as pressing
Nancy: Your choice
Teddy: Yeah
Nancy: Good luck, sorry if she runs to your inbox to shout, or, you’re welcome? Whatever
Teddy: 😘
Nancy: 👋
Teddy: [that went well, go and cause a family argument IRL or something to try and feel something, I’m sure they’ll be thrilled]
Nancy: [we’ve probably likewise snapped at Grace without fully doing a tell-all and now need to have a party and piss off the neighbours again with our behaviour, thanks gal lol]
Teddy: [me like don’t you turn up at that party, boy]
Nancy: [she says don’t you do it honey]
Teddy: [like, he’s very much not above it, especially because his dog is there but it’s probably a bigger fuck you to act like you’re ignoring her entirely unless you’re gonna show purely to take said dog but then what sir, you live at home, you can’t]
Nancy: [that really makes it not the move you think it is, like where are you taking that dog, boy, yes this flat is entirely funded by our parents but at least they aren’t here lol]
Teddy: [mhmm, exactly so don’t, flop]
Gia: Why did you choose today to be a colossal nightmare?
Teddy: Why not today?
Gia: Because it is the only day I can guarantee any time spent with my family
Teddy: Noted, every day of your life is a colossal nightmare, but that’s hardly something I’m to blame for
Gia: You are to blame for Seb not wanting to do this every week now
Teddy: Please, shortening his name like that isn’t going to magically make him look or act your age, but it WILL make me gag 🤢
Gia: And here was me hoping University might make you mature slightly…
Teddy: Hasn’t ‘girls mature faster than boys’ been your entire reason to live since before I was born?
Gia: I’ve never acted the way you do, even if I’d wanted to, I’d have never gotten away with it
Teddy: 💔 I’d suggest you try it but it’s rather too late now, unless you intend to take behaving as I would as far as forsaking your husband
Gia: As I said, I have literally no desire to throw a tantrum like that
Gia: Why are you?
Teddy: Why are you acting as if you suddenly care?
Gia: Assumedly, that’s what you were after, attention
Teddy: Incorrect, but it’s always the goal to make everyone suffer as I must
Gia: Precisely
Gia: If you didn’t want the parents to have to have hushed conversations about you, you would do as the rest of us do and keep it to yourself
Teddy: Well, if they won’t have full volume conversations about each other & address the real issues
Gia: Is that why you’re sad, mummy and daddy are fighting again?
Teddy: No, but I am cheered by your slight attempt at humour
Gia: If mocking you can be considered a joke, I suppose
Gia: Could you not find an excuse to absent yourself if you were going to be in such a mood though, it isn’t as if James attends, you don’t have to
Teddy: It’s extremely laughable you think you have any grounds to mock me, yes
Teddy: & that you would dare to comment on my mood given your spouse’s inability to do anything with his face but 😒
Gia: He’s only like that around you, actually
Gia: and who could blame him?
Teddy: I’m doing him a favour, his brats are going to be my age soon, it’s best he practises because he can’t exactly leave the supportive parenting to you
Gia: I’m not your mother, I don’t need to handhold you through your hangover/heartbreak to prove that I’m a capable parent
Teddy: You’re nobody’s mother, Gia & LONG may that continue to be the case, truly 🙏
Gia: If I had such news, I would have cut through your nonsense with it
Teddy: Such a pity he’s incapable of delivering it for you, in any sense
Gia: Do you have to be so disgusting?
Teddy: You married him, that’s disgusting
Gia: No one asked your opinion, how you feel about him is irrelevant
Teddy: & yet here you are defending yourself against my opinion, it’s obviously relevant to you if you feel the need
Gia: You defend your partner, that’s pretty standard
Teddy: When he’s so frail, of course
Gia: So instead of finding yourself a job, you’re spending your time working on your stand-up, are you?
Teddy: Oh I’m sorry, do you have news of our father going bankrupt? I would’ve given you the floor
Gia: Exactly, I was doing work experience with the firm and had my own part-time job during Uni
Teddy: But you still never got the attention you were after, did you? 🥺
Gia: I don’t want attention, I want, and have, a career
Gia: What do you want, Teddy?
Teddy: Currently, I would like you to stop boring me to tears
Gia: For God’s sake, grow up
Teddy: Like you have? No thanks
Gia: Do you want to be a joke, like James?
Teddy: You’re a joke too, don’t exempt yourself
Gia: Except I work hard for what I have, don’t sponge off of mum and dad and I also don’t embarrass them, at every opportunity I have, so, no, I’m not
Teddy: You married into what you have & mother is mortified
Gia: She is not
Teddy: She is
Gia: You’re just saying that
Teddy: She says it, drunk words are the truest, G
Gia: Perhaps she ought to lay off the liquor then
Teddy: Perhaps if she’d married better herself she would
Gia: I fail to see how she could, and this is such a tired, irrelevant fantasy of yours anyway, they’re fine
Teddy: I’m not going to open up about my newer fantasies, especially not to you
Gia: I will never, ever ask you to
Teddy: Go away, you’re making me more upset
Gia: What on earth is wrong with you? You’re behaving more strangely than usual
Teddy: You literally just said you’d never, ever ask
Gia: As a rule, don’t bring your girl trouble to the table if you wouldn’t actually bring the girl
Teddy: I would, but she’d reject the invitation
Gia: 💔
Teddy: Thank you for your incredible contribution
Gia: You’re not serious, you aren’t serious about anything
Gia: you’ll be fine in the morning
Teddy: It would serve you right if I was dead in the morning, but I’m not pathetic, at least
Gia: You are SO dramatic
Teddy: I have intense feelings about her, you’re dismissive about anything which doesn’t involve your husband’s life insurance
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thurs apr 6th, 2023
today was a really busy day and a lot of regulars came in. it felt nice that so many people know my name and care about me in the context of beauty and comfort, i mean even if i wasn’t there, stuff would sell, but i make it even better. i am asking for a raise soon, and for service charges to be added to making bouquets/arrangements. i need to keep making cutouts so i can sell more.
i’ve been lazy and haven’t shipped out the shoes… i’m going to… hopefully tomorrow morning. i just need to make the box..
my tooth isn’t letting me bite down comfortably and it’s too yellow and also too big. need to get it fixed again. hopefully this will be the end for a while!
knowing that ado definitely works at ottobar (for free) kinda sucks. not that i even like going there, but it should be an option for me at least. idk, i just want to meet someone who reminds me i’m a million times better without him anywhere near me. i still wish it were different. but this is how it is. no contact forever until we inevitably run into each other but maybe it’ll never happen because he’ll just do his normal move-to-a-new-state, destroy a budding romance, be alone, repeat cycle. that’s no way to live. creating long-lasting connections through trial and error is different than needing people to validate your entire existence. the trauma is so deep. like a trench. perfect for a military guy.
hanging with megan was very easy and relaxing. we made manicotti and watched kitchen nightmares. i feel like she’s a really good friend. just willing and honest and cute and sweet. she’s actually adorable and interesting. i do wish i liked women. do we all somehow want to date our friends even though we don’t want to at the same time???
megan’s cats were fun and the stars of my night too. they reminded me that kit probably needs a diet, and a vet visit, ugh.
i feel myself getting closer and closer to freedom from the recent pasts that, i believe, would torment any sane person
anyway, falling asleep
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Tues 14th March 2023 journal 20:53pm
happy birthday rhianna. I’ll love ya always! 💜. can’t believe I’ve known you for 13 years lol. time fucking flies nigga damn. Anyways today has been a decent day. I don’t remember the last time I did one of these but the point is it didn’t matter cause a real nigga needs a job right now and I mean a J O B ! I had to ask my dad to lend me money and I know that’s what parents are for in times of crises but my dad is a businessman thru and thru so that nigga WILL expect his money back at some point. And cause he trusts me to pay it back to him (which I will) I need a fucking job to cover for the fact that I owe him a bit. And I need one now. But timing is all a bit meh. The agent I was meant to meet with today cancelled and said let’s go next week which I probably won’t be able to do. My feet and voice are tired cause of all this singing and dancing this musical is demanding from me. I’m currently hungry as fuck on a train back home from LAMDA. Had a nice convo with Ramesa today about the ecosystem at LAMDA and how it affects us all and how we’ll all be happier when we leave this place and she’s probably right the more I think about it but enough of giving that thought. I think things are going well in my life. I feel happier I guess? But idk what to attribute it to? maybe I’m just choosing to see the good things and focus on them but yeah things are okay. Nolu is a great addition to life right now. Since I’ve met her good things have happened to me. And she seems to care a lot about me I guess? I felt something when I was with her but I can’t really describe the feeling properly. It felt weird. I’m not used to showing affection and I think I’m rationalising the thought of showing affection to someone and it’s making me feel weird. I do really like her company though. I don’t really know what I want and I think that’s what’s bugging me inside. I don’t really know what I’m doing but I’m having a great time doing it so I guess that’s a good thing. I don’t know how long it’ll last and I don’t know if that matters. What will be will be I guess. Navigating the 20’s is so fucking hard. I want to make the right choices but there’s no real such thing as a right choice: it’s just a better choice. I don’t wanna be wrong but I don’t wanna die trying to be right either. It’s 21:06pm. I’m heading to Grove Park now. I need to eat something. I’m still not over my past and I don’t know when I will be but the feeling is still there so it’s hard to be present with other (women) when I still feel fragile. I also don’t like this whole overthinking thing. It’s annoying. Choosing when to put me first is also new to me. TBC 21:08.. just got home. 21:18pm. I don’t have the time I want for myself. this is very demanding of me. I need to think of ways to get better. But it’s the fact I haven’t had time to sit down with myself properly and think about how I’m going to get what I want. I need to eat something. I talked to saffrah today. She’s doing well. I’m happy she is! 21:21pm. I just wanna relax this evening. Thank God I start later tomorrow. I need to stop biting my nails :/ I’m tired. sometimes I miss Honey. I just miss the jokes we had and how honest I could be and shit. Like I’m already not a trusting person by nature so I don’t like the idea of opening up anyways and even the idea of dating or relationships is throwing me off because I haven’t healed. Im still angry at her for leaving me. Who knew healing would take this fucking long? anyways im out. Sign out time: 21:28pm
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Today was going pretty good but then I get a call from my Mum and my Granddad who went in for a UTI yesterday which is like okay that’s nothing major right? Well the care home has phoned her and said he’s back in their care right now and basically his dialysis isn’t really working anymore and his kidneys are a lot worse and they’ve said to prepare for bad news. They said it could be tomorrow or 6 months from now there’s no way of knowing. But his kidneys are failing and yeah the dialysis is no longer enough.
My mum was already booking flights to go back out to Spain at the end of this month because they went out with my Uncle end of February but they had to finish up some paperwork that went wrong so were gonna go out in March. But I’ve asked if she can now book me a ticket on the flight too because usually I go out in October to see him but I don’t think he’ll have that long and I want to be able to see him even just once because I didn’t get that with my Grandma as this was during major lockdown that she got cancer and it broke me not being able to see her one last time.
When my other Granddad who came to live with us during the pandemic as he got sick. When he got ill I got to see him in the hospital the night before he died and honestly I wasn’t sure if that was better or worse than not being there for the last moments with my Grandma because some people thought it might be better that I hadn’t seen her like that and could remember her as she was. But after going through both experiences I found it more comforting being able to be there with him in those moments than to not. I think both situations were very different though because of how the cancer affected her even she had said she was not wanting me to see her that way when we were planning to visit because it was on her mouth/jaw and it had gotten really swollen and she’d lost a lot of weight. But I saw my Granddad decline and that was tough but maybe that’s why it was comforting to be there in his last moments. Maybe they were right I hadn’t seen my Grandma since Covid so to then see her so deteriorated might’ve been more shocking than my Granddad because I was there with him throughout everything you know.
So I guess it is different but with my Granddad in Spain he’s been on dialysis for 8 years now and we’ve always gone into this knowing dialysis only works for so long and then that’s it so in a way I have had a long time to prepare myself for it like my other grandparents went from being so healthy to so sick overnight but my Granddad in Spain it was always clear he wasn’t healthy he had heart issues in his family he’d had a lot of strokes and then he went on dialysis and that was it we knew he had roughly 10 years to live and that was it. But honestly hearing it said out loud it’s still a shock like you think you have prepared yourself for it because you know it’s inevitable. I knew he’d lived longer than they expected because we found out that at his age turns out the dialysis wasn’t meant to last 10 years not even as long as it has so far but idk it was just a lot hearing it and after losing my granddad last year and my grandma the year before that it’s a lot of grief in a short amount of time and I feel like just as it’s starting to sting a little bit less when I see things that remind my of my Granddad around the house or when we are out and now I’m going to relive all of that again with my Granddad and it’s just a lot. And I know I just have to sit here and endure it because there’s no magic pill to take away and numb the pain of grief. It literally just is time. I have to just give it time and maybe eventually it’ll hurt less but fuck he’s the only grandparent I have left and we don’t really have any other close family. I haven’t even seen my cousins since I was a kid we’re not that close really. And my uncle on my dad’s side and my cousins on that side don’t talk to us because my dad and Uncle had a falling out because my Uncle was only caring about the inheritance and couldn’t be fucked to come visit my Granddad at all and did nothing to help care for him and it upset my Granddad a lot which upset my dad and they already had fallen out years back because he did a similar thing when my nan died literally came into my Granddads house after my nans funeral and took a bunch of stuff including an anniversary present my granddad had gotten her and a bunch of stuff that was really sentimental to him. Then they sold it all of and actually made him PAY to buy one of the items back that they stole out of his house. So yeah that’s a whole other issue though but it’s just when my Granddads gone that’ll be every grandparent gone and no other close relatives left and it’s just hard.
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not telling them you’re pregnant - f!reader
- fluff, sliiiight angst maybe
- characters: suna, sakusa, semi
- warnings: pregnancy (i don’t go into detail of giving birth or anything), cravings, morning sickness aka throwing up, two mention of the act of sex in semi’s, some cursing
- wc: 1.4k, 888, 946
a/n: it’s f!reader cuz pregnancy but there’s no specific pronouns/gendered terms used
also idk how suna got so long, he was the last one i wrote for bc i couldnt think of anything lmao
[2. iwaizumi, atsumu, kageyama]
SUNA
#! suna has been practicing late into the night the past few weeks
#! there’s a big game coming up and the entire team is feeling the pressure and adrenaline from the crunch time
#! you haven’t been feeling too good lately, a lot heavier and more tired than usual
#! thinking it was just stress from work and the missing presence of your boyfriend, you pushed through it and thought it would go away in the next few days
#! unfortunately, luck wasn’t on your side and you started to get sudden needs to throw up
#! it didn’t take you long to realize why your physical and mental drive have been down lately
#! you’re pregnant
#! or you believe you are
#! you bought a few tests, some of different brands so you can have a variety, and headed home to confirm your suspicion
#! a few minutes later, staring back at you was multiple positive symbols and the bolded ‘PREGNANT’s
#! taking a few deep breaths, you decided to tell suna tonight once he comes home
#! you thought it was better to let him know as soon as possible
#! it wouldn’t hurt anyone plus the faster you rip the bandaid off, the easier it’ll be to deal with it
#! so you waited
#! and waited
#! until 11pm that night, when suna finally came through the front door
#! “tarō! how was practice? can we talk?” you hurriedly greeted him
#! he was taken aback, not expecting you to be right beside him and in his ear as soon as he came in
#! of course you weren’t, you made sure to put some space in between you and him
#! but suna was stressed and tired, so everything is intensified to him at the moment
#! “can you back up?” he mumbled, pushing his way from in front of you to walk to the kitchen
#! “oh, sorry. can we talk?” you sheepishly smiled, hoping he would say yes
#! you’re not blind, you can tell that suna was tired but you really didn’t wanna put this off
#! you were just gonna tell him, he gets surprised, you both talk it out, and then go to bed and continue figuring things out tomorrow morning
#! but before any of that can happen, suna bluntly told you, “no. i’m tired. i’m sure whatever it is isn’t a big deal. can it be tomorrow? i wanna sleep.”
#! you didn’t get to answer before he was already walking away to the bedroom
#! understanding where he was coming from, you mentally agreed to talk to him tomorrow. one day wouldn’t change anything and you’ve seen plenty of people not tell their partners until a few weeks in
#! he was right, it wasn’t a big deal (yet)
#! so you waited until tomorrow
#! and waited
#! and once again, he came home late
#! “hey! can we quickly talk, babe?”
#! “i’m tired. tomorrow, okay?”
#! “oh, okay. night, rin!”
#! “g’night.”
#! night came and there was still no talk
#! this continued on for about 2 weeks, you finally choosing to not care anymore and just let him find out whenever he finds out
#! technically, you could’ve just blurted out a simple, “i’m pregnant.” any point during your nightly five seconds conversations
#! but seeing that he really was tired, springing it onto him would either put him in a full body shock for three days or he just doesn’t fully process your words until three days after
#! a month has passed, your stomach was still barely showing like most women at their one month mark
#! you decided to book an appointment for a checkup, it’ll be while suna’s at practice
#! and that doctor appointment was the exact reason suna found out
#! he was at practice when komori entered the gym
#! he had a doctor’s appointment for his annual checkup, and that’s where he saw you
#! you didn’t see komori, busy reading the directory to find your way to the right office
#! but he saw you on the way out. seeing that you looked a bit busy, he chose not to greet you and just quickly walk to his car lmao why is this funny to me
#! entering the gym, he greeted everyone and apologized for his tardiness even though it was excused
#! walking up to suna, he tapped him on the shoulder and quietly told him, “i saw yn at the hospital earlier. it’s been awhile since we all got together huh, they looked a bit different.”
#! ok so komori, being the smart person he is, deducted that you were pregnant when he saw your finger pointing at the ob/gyn office
#! and he genuinely thought suna knew so his comment was suppose to be a small joke that was meant to tease suna and his sex life
#! suna, however, was confused
#! look different? did you get surgery?
#! “what do you mean?”
#! komori rolled his eyes and gave a sweet smile at suna, “congrats you two! when were you gonna tell the rest of us?”
#! suna: 👨🦲 huh
#! “are you guys not pregnant?” he blinked at suna’s frozen reaction
#! suna became unresponsive so komori just walked away mumbling to himself about being sure he read the sign right
#! a loud whistle blew and it shook suna out of his daze, everyone got ready to play a practice game of 3 vs 3 while suna ran over to the coach
#! “hey coach, um i think there’s an emergency at home. can i go? ok thanks.”
#! his coach just stares after him as he sprints off, you think? is there an emergency or not?
#! suna quickly drove home, he may or may not have speed a little, and entered the apartment
#! “yn? baby?” he called out only to be greeted back with silence
#! probably still at the hospital....what were you doing there? he thought to himself while rummaging around the house to find anything that could give him somewhat of an idea
#! he was digging around in the bedroom when you came home, his head so frenzied he didn’t hear the front door open
#! but you heard the ruckus from the bedroom and immediately went into fight or flight
#! panicking, you took out your phone to call suna while quietly opening the front door to make your way back out before the intruder catches you
#! the phone rang and rang until it was picked up. “suna?” you whisper-yelled into the speaker. you had a habit of calling him by his last name when you were freaking out. he noticed and was equally alarmed
#! “what’s wrong?” he whispered back just as panicked
#! “there’s someone in our apartment. can you come home?”
#! “huh? oh, are you home?” he cackles into the phone speaker making you move the phone away from your ear, “it’s me, sweets, c’mere.”
#! you warily walked on your tiptoes over to your bedroom, peeking your head in and what a surprise, it is suna
#! “jackass! why are you home?!”
#! “why didn’t you tell me?” he cut straight to the point
#! “huh?”
#! “you’re pregnant. when were you gonna tell me?” his voice sounding stern, but the quiet smile dancing on his face tells a different story
#! “i tried.”
#! “huh? what do you mean?”
#! “all those times i asked if we could talk. i was trying to tell you.”
#! his heart dropped, eyebrows furrowing, while he stared you down
#! suna became unresponsive once again, standing there trying to think back to the first time you asked him
#! two weeks ago
#! “i’m sorry,” he quietly whispers
#! “hm? i..it’s fine....i was a bit sad, but i’m over it. at least you know now,” you casually shrugged it off like it wasn’t a big deal
#! “no. i shouldn’t have pushed you aside like that. even if you weren’t pregnant, even if you had just wanted to tell me about some stupid video you saw that day, i shouldn’t have told you off. i’m sorry, i love you a lot and you deserve so much better.”
#! “tarō, shut up. i accept your apology and i forgive you, now make it up to me by giving me a back massage while i show you the ultrasound pictures!”
#! he kisses you before lifting you up bridal style making his way to the bed
SAKUSA
#! contrary to popular beliefs, sakusa is not an obsessive germaphobe who finds everything disgusting but you
#! he wouldn’t be playing volleyball if he was that afraid of germs,,,,,
#! yes, he cringes if random little kids grab onto him after games because 1) he’s drenched in sweat and that feeling is not fun
#! 2) he doesn’t even know themmm
#! and 3) he wanna go home
#! but sakusa loves you and if you happened to get pregnant, he would love your kid(s) just the same
#! however, he never told you this. he never really had a reason to voice this out loud
#! so when you actually did get pregnant, you were confused
#! the only interactions between sakusa and kids you’ve seen multiple times were the moments between him and his fans
#! you guys have been to family parties and his nieces, nephews, and cousins looooves him
#! maybe it’s the fact that he’s a tall looming giant and they just want to climb
#! but besides those moments, you don’t recall him ever telling you upfront that he wants children of his own
#! and the constant stress and pressure he always seem to be working around also doesn’t help reassure you in any way
#! being an athlete for a living means always watching your body, health, and looks for the cameras (but omi could care less about the last thing)
#! he also has to make sure whether or not he’s working well with his teammates, practice and improve on anything he’s having problems with, and deal with atsumu’s dramatic ass
#! you’re an overthinker and because of that, all of these reasons were just reasons for you to postpone the pregnancy news to your long term boyfriend
#! it wasn’t too hard anyway, considering practice runs late sometimes and he’s busy majority of the time doing other stuff
#! when you guys do have alone time together, you both are so focused on one another that you actually forget that you’re pregnant and you never told him
#! you’re about to hit the three months mark now — time goes by fast — and sakusa has noticed you and your body changing
#! at first he just thought you were going through a phase of cravings and a bit of bloating, so he didn’t mention it and just let you be
#! he never got to witness you getting morning sickness because he goes on early runs or he was just out doing morning errands so he wouldn’t have to deal with it later that day
#! so when he caught you in the kitchen cutting up a lemon, the last thing he was expecting you to do was bring the lemon directly up to your mouth
#! “uh, what are you doing?” his deep voice caught you off guard, effectively stopping the hand that was holding the lemon
#! you just stare at him, not wide-eyed, not surprised, just stare
#! “eating a lemon.”
#! “i can see that.... why exactly?”
#! “dunno, the baby i guess.” you casually shrugged it off before popping the lemon slice into your mouth
#! “ah-,” he opened his mouth to stop you from eating the lemon, your words not fully processing in his mind, but cut off midway and froze when he finally realized
#! hearing him pause like that made you suddenly remembered that you never told him you were pregnant
#! you slowly turned back to look at him, mouth still slowly chewing the lemon slices
#! a moment of silence later, he unfreezes and just starts stiffly walking towards you
#! he grabbed you by the shoulders, made you look him in the eyes, before whispering, “you’re pregnant?!”
#! “y-yes..”
#! his eyes were wide, black pupils expanding as he stared you down, his lips slowly curving into a small smile
#! “you’re pregnant....,” he whispers, mainly to himself, hugging your head into his chest
#! “mhm, get off me i’m trying to eat,” you gently pushed him off but he wouldn’t budge
#! “omiiii please, if you get off i’ll give you a slice,” you tried bribing him. he couldn’t tell if you were being serious or just teasing
#! “no.”
#! “um ok, two slices?”
#! “no.”
#! “omi!”
#! he giggles before opening his arms to let you go
#! “why didn’t you tell me?”
#! you didn’t reply right away, making him start to overthink
#! did you not want the baby? or did you not want a kid with him? did you not want to be with him anymore? or was it not his?!
#! he childishly shakes his head side to side at the last question. he knew you wouldn’t do that
#! but you were still silent, making him nervously glance at you from the side
#! “sorry, piece of lemon stuck in my teeth. i just forgot to tell you,” the words easily flowing out of your mouth nonchalantly
#! sakusa’s fingers were literally about to start twitching from anxiousness beside you
#! a sigh of relief was heard from him and you turned to look at him
#! “you okay?”
#! he doesn’t answer, just gives you a smile and goes back to hugging you from behind
SEMI
#! you were currently sitting on the couch in your shared apartment waiting for semi to come home
#! he’s been on tour for a few months now, you both kept in touch by facetiming, texting, calling, and any other methods of virtual communication
#! you would tune into the live recording of all of his performances when you had time so you could watch him
#! a few weeks into tour, you suddenly felt different than usual but shook it off as nothing and probably just you missing your boyfriend
#! you believed that until one morning you were woken up by the sudden urge to throw up, dashing to the restroom as fast as your drowsy body can go
#! it was then that you realized you might be pregnant
#! the night before semi left, you both had sex to enjoy your last few hours together before he had to leave for a few months
#! with the new realization, you quickly dressed yourself to make a short trip to the store to pick up some tests
#! after half an hour of looking at yourself in the mirror, trying to wrap your head around this, you finally opened the first box
#! a few minutes later, all 5 tests were lined up on the bathroom counter showing positive
#! you stared at the tests, trying to make sure you weren’t reading it wrong
#! once you began to understand the responsibility of being pregnant a few hours later, you made a mental note to go out and buy some food for yourself the next day
#! you decided to sleep off the rest of that day
#! through all of the facetime calls with semi, you never once told him you were pregnant
#! you knew that if you told him he would freak out and either demand to go back home, or stay but all of his attention would be on you being pregnant alone at home for the rest of the tour
#! so here you are now, sitting with a 4 1/2 months baby bump waiting for your beloved to come home
#! it was around 6pm when the front door opened, sounds of shuffling bags and heavy steps could be heard from the musician
#! he cursed under his breath when he almost tripped over a duffle bag with some of his loungewear, calling out for you as he walks further into the apartment, “baby? i’m home!”
#! he was about to speak up again when he saw you asleep on the couch
#! bouncing his way over, he got onto his knees at the edge of the couch to observe your face. god i miss you, he thought to himself
#! he gently shakes you awake, you jolted in surprise not knowing you fell asleep in the first place
#! “hmm- what?,” soft murmurs falling from your lips as you adjusted your eyes at your surrounding
#! “eita!” he grinned at you, both of you pulling each other into a hug
#! “fuck, i miss you so much.” he whispered into your ears before placing his face into your neck
#! “i miss you more.” you tightened your grip around him making him move up on the couch to get more comfortable
#! you both moved around until he had you cradled in between him, your back against his chest
#! his hands going under your his shirt to caress you there when his movements stopped right on top of your stomach
#! it was silent as his warm hands rubbed your stomach in circles, the gears turning in his head
#! “are you- you feel- why’s your tum so round and hard?” he quizzically asked, still rubbing your stomach
#! “pregnant.” your voice a low whisper, he almost didn’t catch it
#! “what?”
#! “pregnant.” you repeated, a bit louder this time
#! “huh?”
#! “pregnant!” you sighed, moving his hand so you can get off of him
#! he grabs your wrist to stop you from walking away and turns you to look at him
#! “you’re pregnant?!”
#! “i just said that. yes.”
#! you knew you sounded blunt and a bit mean, it wasn’t his fault he doesn’t know at all, but your hormones have been making you crankier and it’s out of your control
#! “sorry. yes, i’m pregnant.”
#! his eyes continuously darts up and down from your eyes to your bump
#! “how long?”
#! “since you left.”
#! “was it the night before?” he was referring to your act of intimacy the night before he left
#! “yea.”
#! “wow. why didn’t you tell me?”
#! “because.”
#! “‘cuz what?”
#! “because i know you. you would either stop touring and come home, or stay but lose focus. i was just trying to not distract you because i know how important your career is to you. and because i thought that you’ll be having a six months break after this tour before your next comeback, i would tell you when you came home. i’m sorry if you’re ma-,”
#! “i’m not mad. oh don’t cry, babe, look at me.”he carefully cups your face, “it’s okay, it’s okay. i get why you kept it from me. and now that i have no schedule for the next six months, i can be there for you until the end of your pregnancy and the beginning of our baby’s life alright?”
#! you weakly nodded against his palms, and he brings you back down to lay your head on his chest as you both softly talk about the past months without each other
#triple s hell yeah!#maybe part 2 w iwa#written with love - ar#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu#hq x reader#suna rintarou#suna x reader#suna scenarios#suna imagines#suna angst#suna fluff#sakusa x reader#sakusa kiyoomi#sakusa scenarios#sakusa imagines#sakusa angst#sakusa fluff#semi x reader#semi eita#semi scenarios#semi imagine#semi angst#semi fluff#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu angst#haikyuu scenarios#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu!!
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Please tell me we'll get more Winged Multiverse content soon, like the Undertale crew finding out the specifics about the Resets, or some stuff involving Razz and King(they're so UNDERRATED!!!!), or Edge finding out about the Multiverse, or that Horror one shot you mentioned you wanted to write, or some more cute shippy stuff! Just give me more Winged Multi verse content, please, I'm begging! WE HAVE STARVED OF THIS CONTENT FOR TOO LONG, PEOPLE!! PLEASE GIVE US AT LEAST ONE THING!🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Idk if I can say soon, because school and life be kickin my ass rn and my only focus is wip chaps rather than starting something new, BUT.
I haven’t abandoned Winged, by any means! I have a lot of plans for it, it’s just that a lot of them are… pretty vague. Hence why starting anything is a little too overwhelming rn lmfao. I hope to get around to it again when summer break hits this next week (〜 ̄▽ ̄)〜
Though, because it has been a long time… mayhaps I can spill some of the ideas I have written down for future fics, and also leave open an opportunity to throw more ideas at me! Some shorter fics might be nice to focus on for once while my brain wraps around Violet part 3 and LAN oof.
So if that interests anyone huehuehue:
- My main focus rn is fleshing out Lust’s story, actually. Lil fluffy LustBerry fic, probably, with a splash of hurt/comfort lmao.
- I do have a plan for the UT crew finding out about Resets, explained that here
- I would love to do something with Razz and King or other secondary characters of the series, ngl. I know I’ve been toying with how to get the Bad Time Trio together somehow (not like, for a fight or anything, just for funsies lmao), but idk! Kinda jumping all around there XD
- Past Dreamtale fic! Some Vantablack, maybe Dream angst huehue
- Also had a vague idea for Dream coming out of his stone prison but again, smol, not thought out much. I wasn’t sure if it would fit better as a stand alone or added to something so I’ve been holding off.
- … That Horror idea is very wonky but I really wanna do something with him. I might figure out some way to work it XD
- The most fleshed out plot I have rn is the main one with Nightmare’s reluctant scheming, but obviously, I cannot say much there. It’s more of an issue of actually writing it than it is of any planning. Cuz hoo boi have I got plans for him muhahahah. I have talked about it all to one friend on discord, so have the meme I tortured them with for now :D
As you can see, most I have is a lot of puzzle pieces and nothing to attach them to lmao! Even so, I do love where this series has gone, and I do wanna continue it. I won’t make any promises, because it all depends on how my IRL stuff goes, but maybe I’ll make a little ficlet book for shorter takes on the winged bois! I will not promise that I’ll write every story idea everyone gives me, cuz I doubt I’ll write anything I just generally don’t vibe with, but hey, the options there, why not.
Maybe it’ll be nice, maybe I’ll regret everything I said by tomorrow morning, who knows! Guess we’ll find out later ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
#i really really only have to get through this weekend and I’ll be more free#i have game characters to design and doodle asks to get to#so I definitely have priorities over writing fics rn#but honestly writing little fics might be a nice change of pace lmfao#all my 10k+ bullshit wheeeze#asks#undertale#undertale multiverse#winged au#dragon balance au
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songs about toxic people 7*
Sanzu Haruchiyo X Reader
Summary: In which you are Bonten’s No. 2 and Sanzu is No. 3. Almost ten years of being stuck working together means you’re both bound to pick up on each other’s idiosyncrasies, yeah?
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*IMPORTANT NOTE: this is more like an interlude/bonus chapter actually centering more on misc bonten x reader Gen! interactions. it still ties in with the whole story, it’s just there’s less to zero sanzu in this one cus the focus will be more on the other bonten haha, so if you’re here exclusively for sanzu x reader, you may skip this if you like! 😬
it’s just i got these headcanons that idk what to do with and also they are somewhat short 😭
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chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4 / chapter 5 / chapter 6
chapter 7: We may not be a perfect family but we love each other (until we don’t) - koko
.
.
Koko thinks of cats when he thinks of you; partly from the circumstances of your first meeting, partly ‘cause of the way you sort of simply glide in and out of rooms quietly with the stealth and fluidity of one.
(Although Sanzu had insisted he thought more of ghosts and wraiths, a comment which Koko only made light of even though he wasn’t wrong.)
She even kinda fights like a feline, he’d told Inupi one time all those years ago, as he thought of the way your lithe and minimal movements were always able to take bigger guys down along with the quiet ferocity to match.
Maybe she learns from all the cats back in the shrine, Inupi responded—a joke, essentially, in his own terms. Koko suppressed a smile: cat and dog, you and her, maybe that’s why you two get along so well went his own, sad attempt at humor, because you and your second-in-command were obviously very close and very unlike cats and dogs. The joke, however, sadly did not seem to land, and Inupi’s forehead only creased, his expression dumbfounded.
That’s not how it works.
Koko never forgets the day you were first introduced by Mikey. It’s at the back of Toman’s abandoned shrine, at the edge of the thick forest surrounding the area, that their new leader had said they’ll be meeting Black Dragon’s temporary captain. He never specified what anyone would be doing in the forest at this hour in the afternoon, and neither him nor Inupi had asked, but then there you were: in your bare feet and in your school uniform, attempting to move a big pot of plant from one spot of land to another, your expression almost annoyed. (At the pot, most likely, which did not seem to budge.)
Mikey called your attention still a few meters afar:
“Hey. Whatcha up to—”
in a tone that very clearly did not seem to intend to place whatever you were up to above this particular Toman business at the moment, so really, it would not have made any difference whether you answered or not. Which you didn’t, only glancing at your president once—not with the angry expression, at least—before continuing with your ordeal.
The pot nudged just a tiny bit.
Only when Mikey finally stopped right in front of you and you noticed Koko’s and Inupi’s figures behind him did you finally stand straight, looking at Mikey quizzically. “What’s up?” Quick nods to Inupi and him. “Hello.”
Mikey briefly introduced all of you and proceeded to explain that you were to be formally placed as the Black Dragon’s new captain today, to which your eyes slightly widened.
“Oh, I thought you said tomorrow.”
Mikey hesitated at first but then shrugged. “Hm, they came here already today so I thought might as well. Come on, it’ll be quick.”
You narrowed your eyes at him and then to his two quiet companions but then so agreed anyway, and as Mikey ushered you in front nobody else aside from Koko seemed to notice your lack of shoes. You’d only taken a few steps ahead when you tugged at the sleeve of Mikey’s coat, making him pause.
“I don’t have my Toman jacket,” which was obvious but was not what Koko was expecting for you to say, if he were to be honest.
Mikey looked at you blankly. “Well, where is it?”
“Well, something happened to it,” was your only vague response, but then you turned your head to where you just came from making all three boys follow suit. On a wooden bench slightly obscured by the plants were a family of cats consisting of a mother and her kittens, all sleeping peacefully in a cozy pile on top of your balled up Toman jacket.
“Oh. Okay.” Mikey only nodded like he completely understood. Without thinking about it twice, Sano Manjiro, Tokyo Manji gang’s No. 1—feared around the streets of Tokyo, bowed to no one and stepped over everyone—took off his billowing Toman coat and draped it over your shoulders. “Here, you can borrow mine,” he simply said. “I mean, you gotta look the part.”
Your mouth stretched into a grin.
Beside him, Inupi gave Koko a quick, wordless glance accompanied by that tiny, upward curve on the corner of his mouth that anyone else could’ve missed. Inupi rarely smiled at anything anymore those days—perhaps one of the reasons why this singular, initial meeting had stuck in his mind all these years. It’s one of those memories Koko always thought he could probably live without, occupying a quiet little corner in his mind which, frankly, a much more practical or life-changing memory could have occupied, if it were up to him. But then there you were with your cats and your air of schoolgirl abandon making Inupi smile, an information that he simply didn’t know what to do about.
“Alright, boss. But please, no speeches.”
This made Mikey laugh. “Can’t promise you that, I’m sorry.” It’s only after a few more steps that Mikey did finally notice your bare feet.
“Where the hell are your shoes?”
“Oh, they got wet,” you quietly said. “I was playing with the cats…” and three pairs of eyes stared at you like it wasn’t enough of an answer. “With a hose. Manjiro, I was watering the plants.”
And so you stood atop the shrine steps while addressing the men from Black Dragons, your feet bare and covered in scratches and the Toman president’s much bigger coat over your shoulders. Nobody questioned the absence of shoes—at least not out loud—not with your leader Manjiro right by your side, in his flip flops holding a half-eaten taiyaki in one hand.
The memory comes unannounced in snips and pieces some years later as another Bonten meeting ends. There’s various movements around the table by now, but then Koko catches your undivided staring as you sat across from him, your chin propped up against one hand. He ignores you for a short while as he fixes his things, until he finally decides to look up.
“Anything wrong?”
You suddenly purse your lips in a small smile amidst the gloomy and rigid air of mid-morning Monday meetings and for a moment, it’s as if Koko is thinking of another memory.
“I just realized you kinda look like my Mr. Kaku,” is all you say. The little remark makes not-your Kakucho look up from the document he’s reading without really turning his head, while Rindou who is seated beside you squints—in curiosity or amusement, Koko can’t tell. From his own right side, Takeomi is slowly angling his head as if meaning to take a better look at Koko behind his curtain of silver hair.
Mr. Kaku, of course, is your pet cat, the one with the smooth silver fur that you’d rescued from an abandoned site during an out-of-town business trip some months ago. You and your unimaginative pet naming sense landed on “Mr. Kaku,” in honor of your then-partner Kakucho who had volunteered to keep the cat inside his bag thru the doors of the hotel that didn’t allow pets. But he looks nothing like Kaku, Manjiro had quipped, earning a few grunts of approval from your ever-biased circle, but you couldn’t have been bothered so you stuck with the name.
Koko is quick to decipher that in your-speak, cat comparisons are more or less compliments and never a form of insult—not that in your mid-20s, you all haven’t already gotten above petty verbal affronts, after all. So he humors you, eyes now back to his things but with his attention still on the matter at hand. “What, is it the hair?”
“Yeah, it’s the hair,” Rindou says before you can answer, his head lolling lazily on one shoulder. “Can’t believe no one had noticed before.”
“And the eyes,” you simply nod. “They both got these nice, sharp eyes.”
Would you have named him Mr. Koko if you thought he resembled Kokonoi before? is the one lingering question that none of the men around you bother to ask.
It’s only a couple of weeks later, after another Bonten meeting, when Koko hands you a souvenir from his weekend business trip: a red cat collar with a customized pendant, a tiny enamel engraving of your Bonten tattoo. The pendant is black on one side and gold on the other, and the small gasp you let out makes every head in the room turn—the almost unfamiliar, genuine sound of delight thawing the usual morning’s stern atmosphere.
“There’s a shop right across the hotel where they make rush engravings like that.” Koko is saying casually like it’s no big deal, but he sees the expression on your face and he can’t help but grin. “Thought Mr. Kaku might like it.”
Your eyes perk up at the mention of ‘Mr. Kaku’ like Koko is the first person to ever acknowledge that Mr. Kaku doesn’t need to be named anything else apart from ‘Mr. Kaku.’ “Oh, it’s perfect, Koko. I’ll send you pictures once I make him wear it,” you say, your attention instantly back to your hands, choosing to ignore his ‘I think just one picture might be enough.’
From the other end of the room, Sanzu is making his way towards the door. “Congratulations,” he smirks as he passes by behind you, quirking one eyebrow up at Koko. “Now she won’t be shutting up about it all weekend,” because Sanzu will be spending the next three days with you over in another city to conduct business with another drug scion, of course.
Across the table, Kakucho only sighs before shaking his head. “I still wish you could’ve picked a better name for your cat,” he says—a valid complaint, Koko thinks bemusedly, now that your own Mr. Kaku looks more like a feline version of himself.
chapter 8 >
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this one goes out to my closest friends the ones who make me feel less alien
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#kokonoi hajime#koko#koko hajime#kokonoi x reader#koko x reader#gen fic#tokyo revengers#bonten x reader#bonten x you#bonten x y/n#sanzu#sanzu haruchiyo#haruchiyo#sanzu x you#sanzu x reader#sanzu x y/n#koko x you#koko x y/n#kokonoi x you#kokonoi x y/n#kokonoi hajime x reader#inui seishu#inupi#inupi seishu#kokonui#kokonupi#inui#inupi tokyo revengers#sano manjiro#mikey sano manjiro
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Dance the Night Away: Peter Parker X Reader
A/N: This ain’t following any particular timeline – let’s just say... idk, after Far from Home, maybe?
WARNING: use of the ‘P’ word (Flash being Flash)
Peter walked down the hallway amidst the chatter, trying to reach his locker as the crowd grew thicker and thicker, making it impossible for him to even see properly. Which was until a hand seized his wrist and pulled him through, letting go of him as he smashed into the storage compartment with force enough to make his brains rattle.
“Oops, sorry,” you said with a sheepish smile.
Peter had turned to thank whoever it was, but, catching sight of you, he groaned. Not that he didn’t like you – you and Peter had been best friends since you were eight years old. Recently, however, a banner had been put up by the senior girls announcing that prom would be taking place the following Saturday. And with only about five days left, you had taken to pestering Peter into going, hoping that if you’d fling the question unexpectedly, Peter would get scared into answering. You had, however, no luck so far.
“Y/N, I know what you’re going to say,” Peter warningly began, “And I don’t wanna hear it.”
“But I wanna say it,” you said, “And that I shall. Peter, come on! It’s a crucial life experience! I mean, you’re studying all the time these days, and I get it, you have a clear view of your future, and I’m happy for you. But pleeeaaaaaaase, just do it for me? It’s one night, Peter, come on! One night where you have to let go and just have fun! After that, we can go back to making circuit boards together like we used to, but just this once? C’mon, don’t tell me you’re turning me down.”
As you took a deep breath after this whole rant and Peter took one look at your sincere smile, he sighed.
“... Fine,” he mumbled.
Your eyes grew wide. Surely you’d misheard?
“What?” you asked, “Louder, please?”
“Fine!” Peter bellowed loudly so that a dozen heads turned in your direction and people began snickering.
Not caring in the least, you flashed a wide smile before engulfing Peter into a huge hug, speaking, “Thank you so much! It’ll be the best experience of your life, Peter!”
“Yes, that means better than your spiderman stuff,” you whispered in an undertone as Peter said a disbelieving, “Come on!”
Needless to say, you had finally convinced Peter to go to prom. Now came the hard part. Truth was, you had liked Peter since you were both, what, fourteen? Convincing Peter to go to prom was a task for the strong, but asking him to be your date? No way would he feel the same. Peter had never ever hinted, that your relationship could be more. In fact, he felt rather frantic to prove it couldn’t be more – something that convinced you that you did not belong together and that, someday, you would have to get over this silly little crush. Still, seeing Peter go to prom with any girl who made him happy was enough for you.
“Right, now that we’re going,” you said the following morning, when he’d found you standing next to his locker, waiting for him to arrive.
Peter sighed, “Mm hmm?”
“We need dates,” you ignored his disinterest.
“Do you have one?” asked Peter.
“It.... it’s complicated,” you muttered.
Peter crossed his arms, “Listening.”
You shot him a glare before sighing and telling him, “There’s... there’s this boy I like. I was really hoping he would ask me to homecoming back then, and I turned down anybody who asked me just to chase that blind belief. Guess what? He didn’t ask me. And I know he won’t now, but I don’t know... something inside me still hopes he would.”
“So, you’re scared to say yes to anyone in case he asked you but scared to say no to everyone in case he doesn’t ask you?” Peter clarified, causing you to laugh.
“Sounds about right.” you muttered, “But hey, enough about me, what about you? We need a date for you. Do you have anyone in mind?”
“Not really,” Peter shrugged.
“Okay....” you said slowly, “Well, I’ll just list off people you would be happy with as they come to my mind... maybe you can ask one of them.”
“Fire away.”
“Okay... well, there’s Emma Jones from my biology class,” you began, “And she’s really nice.”
“Not my type.”
“Oh,” you frowned, “Okay... Alyssa from P.E?”
“The one who said spiderman sucks? No thanks.”
“Zoe from English?”
“Nope.”
“Ava from chemistry lab?”
“Meh.”
“... MJ?” you asked in defeat as Peter incredulously looked at you (A/N: sorry MJ, I love you <3).
“Okay, fine,” you snapped, “I’m done helping. Let me know if you find someone?”
Peter gave another nod as the two of you made your way to class.
------
You were panicking. Two days were all that were left, and so far, you had turned down countless boys including Flash Gordon who had swore and made rude hand gestures at you as a way to handle rejection. You didn’t know what was wrong – why was this impossible hope of Peter asking you still clouding your possibilities of a relationship?
Peter knew nothing of this – yet he annoyed you. If he was too blind to notice that you were madly in love with him, why did the very sight of his face make your brain go empty?
Now with one day left and nobody to ask you, you slumped moodily throughout the day, not talking and sitting silently at lunchtime, stabbing your potatoes pretending that it was your feelings for Peter.
“Okay you’re freaking me out now,” Peter said as the two of you were walking home and you still hadn’t opened your mouth.
“No date – again. God, this is just like homecoming,” you groaned.
Peter looked surprised.
“I thought a lot of guys asked you?”
“They did!” you moaned, “It’s just – that guy, I don’t know why he has this effect on me. It’s like – we weren’t meant to be together or maybe I wasn’t meant to go out with anyone ever.”
“Hey, that’s not true,” said Peter with something new in his expression. Behind the terribly unconvincing ‘concerned best friend’ mask, you saw a flicker of something... smugness? No, you were dreaming. You hadn’t eaten all day – this was probably a side-effect.
“You know what, I’m gonna grab a sandwich at Delmar’s,” you muttered, “I haven’t eaten since morning. Do you want to come?”
“Sorry, I promised May I’d come home,” he sheepishly said, “She wanted me to go get an outfit with her.”
“Oh,” you snickered, “Good luck with that. See you tomorrow!”
“See you.”
And with a heavy heart, you walked away from your only chance of having the person you cared about most as your date to prom.
--------
“Oh god, what was I thinking?” you muttered, staring the reflection of you in a(n) F/C dress with your hair styled <inert preferred style here>.
“This is stupid!” you said to no one in particular, before taking a deep breath and walking to the apartment across from yours and knocking on the door.
The door opened to reveal Peter.
“Oh, good you’re here, this will take just a second, May wants to –” he stopped abruptly, staring at you with eyes round as saucers.
“Um,” you began, he still kept staring.
“Earth to Peter, you still in there?” you snapped your fingers in front of his face as he blinked and turned a delicate shade of red.
“You – you look nice,” he managed to choke out.
“Thanks...?” you said, walking inside and taking a seat on the couch.
“Okay, um, M-may will take us there in her c-car, she’ll be h-here any moment, let’s just w-wait.”
“Pete, you having a stroke or something?” you asked in concern.
“No, I’m fine.” (A/N: he’s not 😉)
As if she had sensed Peter’s need to be rescued, Aunt May came walking into the room. She stopped at the sight of her nephew staring slightly at you, who was examining a coffee mug on the table. Smiling to herself, she cleared her throat.
Both of you jumped in surprise.
“We’re ready to go,” May stated, as the two of you got to your feet, following her to the car.
----------
“This was a mistake, wasn’t it?” you asked, looking at the doors of your school gym which were closed ominously.
“Why?” asked Peter in surprise, “I thought you wanted to go?”
“I do,” you admitted, “But – we don’t have dates, it’ll look so... lame.”
Peter scoffed, “Y/N, do you really need the dimwits that attend this school to justify how many cool points you have?”
“Not exactly,” you said in surprise, feeling slightly better.
“Yeah, come on, let’s just do it. Together, okay?” asked Peter as you nodded.
You both took nervous, deep breaths before pushing the doors open to reveal the commotion inside.
--------
You two were walking across the gym, interestedly examining the decorations ang pulling faces at the couples which were making out, till you bumped into something hard.
“OOF!” you groaned, falling to the floor.
“You okay?” Peter asked hurriedly, pulling you to your feet. As you both turned to look who it was, you were surprised to see Flash standing there with his mouth hanging open.
“No way,” he said, gaping, “HEY EVERYONE, LOOK! IT’S DATELESS L/N AND PENIS PARKER!”
You groaned as a million heads turned your way and slowly, the laughter broke out, jeers of the obscene names Flash had called you now echoing off the walls.
“Haha, real funny, Flash,” Peter said sarcastically, but once he saw your near-tears expression, he seized your wrist and pulled you out of the gym into the open.
“Come on,” he pacifyingly said, “Don’t cry over him, Y/N! He’s not worth it.”
“This is homecoming all over again,” you groaned, struggling to contain your tears, “School dances were never meant for me. Let’s just – let’s just go home and finish making that model spaceship we were working on.”
“Sounds like a worthwhile night to me,” Peter shrugged, tossing a brave smile your way, “You don’t need prom to be happy, you know. Let’s go.”
And so the two of you walked home, talking amongst yourselves, being the best friends you’d been since eight.
Best friends.
The sound of that word made your blood boil hot. How naïve were you? This was absolutely perfect – a million guys on the planet and you chose to fall for one who would never see you the same way.
As your apartment building came closer, Peter cleared his throat and spoke, “Wait in the living room with May for ten minutes. I have a surprise for you.”
“Seriously?” you asked, taken aback.
“Yeah, why not?”
“What is it?” you asked curiously.
Peter cocked an eyebrow.
“Kinda missing the point of a surprise if I told you what it was.”
“Makes sense,” you agreed, “Okay, but make it quick. I’m dying of curiosity.”
“You’ll live for another ten minutes,” Peter assured you.
Your curiosity was now bubbling to the surface like boiling water threatening to spill. You thought of what Peter could possibly have to surprise you, and you stopped to sit on a couch in the living room next to Peter’s aunt.
After exhausting every possibility (each as unlikely as the next), Peter finally dragged you ti the door of his room.
“... I’ve seen your room before, you know,” you laughed slightly.
“That’s not the surprise,” Peter playfully rolled his eyes, “Okay, close your eyes.”
“Jesus, Peter,” you snorted as his hands placed themselves over your eyes, “You are such a drama queen.”
“Open them... now!”
And you opened your eyes to see that the usual clutter surrounding Peter’s room had been cleared away, leaving some space for god-knows-what in the middle of it.
“Wow, you finally cleaned your room!” you exclaimed, “That is a surprise.”
“That’s still not the surprise!” Peter whined, “C’mere.”
He grabbed your hand and pulled you close as your brain clouded with confusion. What the heck was going on?
Peter threw his phone aside as a light waltz began playing through the air. Peter placed one hand on your waist and the other one to grab yours as your confusion cleared away.
“You said you wanted to go to prom,” Peter stated as you two swayed on the spot, moving slightly to the music, “You didn’t say where. Now we’re away from judgy eyes, we can be weird.”
“Seriously, Peter?” you giggled at his dorkiness, “I never knew you were so cute.”
The words had slipped from your mouth before you had time to think them through. You were praying he didn’t hear you, but a hitch in his breath made your heart drop.
“You – you think I’m cute?” Peter asked, blushing furiously.
“Well,” you sighed, there was no backing out of this, “... Yeah, I do.”
You looked down, refusing to meet his eyes.
“And the guy you wanted to get asked by...?” Peter didn’t need to finish his question; he knew you understood.
“Yes,” you whispered, tears brimming at the corner of your eyes once more.
You sucked in a deep breath and looked up, “Look, Peter, I know you don’t feel the same and it’s honestly okay –”
“Shut up,” Peter mumbled, his lips brushing over yours. Your lips brushed together a few times as the both of you melted into the addicting sensation, not aware of the surroundings, not caring in the least. To Peter, all that mattered in that moment, was you.
You two pulled apart after a while, both blushing like crazy with no idea what to do next. It was you who spoke first, shyly.
“I – I think it’s a good thing we’re alone right now. That would be an embarrassing yearbook photo.”
#peter parker#peter parker imagine#spiderman#spiderman imagine#spiderman x reader#peter parker x reader#peter parker x you#peter parker x yn#spiderman x you#spiderman x yn#fluff#angst#prom#dance#cute#marvel#marvel imagine#mcu imagine
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