#idk man. it felt weird
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Reverse of the “nooo don’t transition, you’re too sexy” happened to me today
Someone told me that if I went in T I’d be super fucking hot
Which like. Probably. But I’m also hot now so weird backhanded compliment
#for reference I didn’t say I wanted to go on T#I’m very neutral to the idea#also I’ve spent a decade working through my body dysmorphia in recovery from an ED and am finally pretty okay with how I look#so hearing that kinda fucked me up???#like bitch I AM hot. I’d still be hot if I was on T but like#that’s not the point of transitioning????#idk man. it felt weird#trans#transmasc#nonbinary
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sometimes you gotta give the coolest most badass character you know a really silly trait
#clownzy#branzypierce#lsshipping#i'm not. maintagging the fandom but at least the characters? surely?#branzycraft#clownpierce#xuh art#paper#sketch#wip#yes. this also applies to the old man champion from parkour civilization#i also felt like i ought to put it out there sooner rather than later if people are gonna be weird about it idk#my headcanon is clown is 22-23? ish? while branzy is around 45#clown knows what hes doing ok#also i absolutely think this plays into why branzy thought clown was not serious at first cuz no way this guy is actually interested in him#and honestly maybe clown wasnt. maybe he was just messing with branzy at first. but branzy IS fun and cunning and smart and deadly and#silly and useful and so down for murder and clown ended up liking him fr so hard and so fast. oops. boo boo the fool
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Based on my favorite gif lately
#my art stuff#digital art#baldurs gate 3#bg3#astarion#batstarion#once again specifying this is a spawn astarion with some sort of wild shape thing#bat#good morning#gif#I’ve been in such a weird place mentally about art lately#I just keep stopping myself from drawing things cus I want to draw Astarion -#- but fsr my brain decided I draw him wrong and thus makes it pointless to even start#bat form is fine - I have no problems with it. But in his normal form? no can do buckaroo.#It’s one part why I haven’t shared much art lately - I don’t get happy enough about the “quality”#then just don’t share it as a result - in turn making me feel worse because I’m not posting - making me doubt myself more - etc etc#idk man - I got way too giddy earlier today cus someone could tell this was Astarion - even though this isn’t even the version of him I -#- feel insecure about#I keep seeing these artists making more realistic art and cool comics and interactions - most of which are shaded really beautifully -#- and all I can think about is how I CAN’T do that - even if it wouldn’t fuck me up mentally#I just put too much stress on my ability to create realism and I keep “failing” at doing that (by actively avoiding it for my own health)#idk man - I just wish I felt better about Astarion’s stupid chin OTL
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so im not sure if anyones interested, but, i went through quite a bunch of totk critiques by people who were also very disappointed with it and thought id share my favorite videos i found (granted, i only really wachted those that youtube recommened and its mostly .. white men... things like the orientalism problem are not mentioned at all for example, maybe ill update this post if i find any more diverse voices)
i dont agree with every single point and also dont know most of the channels (aside from the big zelda theory guys) so i judged solely by what they mentioned in those videos and the quality of it (like the audio .. bc i cant listen to bad audio)
in no particular order, also they talk about or use footage of the literal ending stuff so if you arent done with the game yet, better leave these for now
youtube
youtube
youtube
youtube
(the following one is a podcast thing by multiple zelda theory guys, there some stuff you can skip at the start thats just kidna random things, but the video is marked with chapters)
youtube
(theres some mention of some things not making sense, like the sonau only being two, and ithink thats kinda bc the english translation was weirdly vague about that, in the german version its much more directly said that they all died out and only rauru and mineru were left of them;
also mentions of how unfitting it is to call the enigma stones "secret"stones in english might come from a similar thing; in german they where called "Mysterienstein" which would be translated as mystic/mysterious/enigma- stone
just wanted to mention that since the vast majority are gonna play it in english only and the stuff online is also dominated by english)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#totk#ganondoodles rants#not really#but it kinda fits in the theme#some things are a lil too complainy for complainings sake#but overall those are the ones i felt spoke about alot of the broader problems#Youtube#also i dont ... like the english translations of these games#and im not a fan of the english voice acting either tbh#idk whats with zelda in particular#and i dont want to shit on translators#but man#some weird translation choices have done active damage in the whoe lore department#plus its jsut kinda .. weird and unecessary at times#why call it gloom?? miasma sound way more connected to malice and actually menacing#secret stones??? why?? mystic or engima is right there plus its confusing bc they .. are not secret at all??#makes stuff complicated too bc im using the words i know but in english almost every name is totally different#why not ... keep the names of the og japanese??#i know german is guilty of changing stuff too#but my point stands
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Day 70: android tango wip :3
#tangotek#tango tek#hermitcraft#hermitcraft fanart#skadoodler#colorful skadoodler#idk man me and a friend just made the saddest au ever and it’s also 4am#also it felt weird giving him human eyes but they’re kinda cute ngl
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s2 of arcane was a major disappointment to me all things considered. it was gorgeous and i can't deny that; i fully enjoyed watching it, but its plot was overcrowded and it completely abandoned everything that happened in s1. silco and vander's sacrifices, the fight for zaun's independence.. it was all completely undermined by the war. countless lives lost and for what? we got a glimpse of what zaun and piltover could have been, but in our timeline everyone was fighting the arcane and ambessa rather than the oppressive piltover. it wasn't about the undercity and topside anymore. it just felt kind of nothingburger to me which was disappointing considering how much the first season elicited emotion
#idk man im just talkking. im just saying my thoughts#i just feel like.... really dissatisfied#arcane spoilers#arcane#i also really hated the whole thing jayce said at the end about viktor's leg not being a negative aspect of him#idk . im disabled and it made me feel weird. that's not to speak for everyone obviously#anyways his disability originated from the grey iirc#viktor had reason to absolutely HATE topside and he still wanted to unite the two communities#he would've been much more interesting as a direct antagonist sort of in silco's position than the route that was taken#do i think he ever would've taken that antagonistic route considering his nature? no..#i understand why he wanted unification. painlessness.#it just almost felt like the first season didn't matter at all WHICH SUCKED!!#and none of the deaths made me feel anything because none of them were done in a way that really elicited emotion in my opinion ESPECIALLY#ESPECIALLY heimerdinger's. we barely had time to process it#whateverrr whatever
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man. watched nimona today and none of you freaks prepared me for how heartbreaking that movie was gonna be to watch as someone who was a suicidal queer kid.
trying to embrace the role of being someone monstrous only to end up being hurt by the very armour you wear, all the little ways people close to you hurt you and how it builds up over time no matter how good things are other times, not wanting to sacrifice any part of your identity no matter how its hated, y'know?? seeing no way out of the constant cycle of betrayal and hurt by 'allies' but finally giving them what they want. becoming so clouded by grief and agony and loneliness that you aren't yourself (but beneath it all you still are (you can still hear a voice in the shadows roars of pain)).
brother how am i supposed to emotionally recover from this one. that reveal is going to be on my mind forever this movies gonna stick with me.
#nimona#i should read the comic if i get the beans#mod post#yeah idk man i saw a lot of talk abt the gay ppl and i am so glad we saw gay ppl like forreal#i love those two. mwah. ballister Is a meow meow or whatever the hell ur calling him#but fuck man. the ending hit like a ton of bricks for me personally it felt so personal#its rare u feel like Seen by a movie and espc arguably a kids movie but man for a second i felt seen and that was weird and upsetting#great movie. u guys should watch it
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the sillies
#Roku#avatar roku#monk gyatso#gyatso#sud#sud atla#sud avatar#ta min#sozin#firelord sozin#makittuq#ro min#rozin#sudoku#atla#whatever combination thereof of rokus team avatar for their ship name#gyatkusudmin??? rosudminso??? sudrogyatmin??? tasudgyatro???#who fucking knows man#they have been plaguing my mind (affectionate) for months and months and months#i need to both write and draw them fr#also please don’t look too closely at the gyatso edit i made it felt weird using him as an old guy but the others in like their late 20s#we were robbed of seeing young gyatso. ROBBED i say#also robbed of seeing old sud but that’s another discussion entirely#hmmm maybe drawing idea mayhaps#idk#im running off of 5hrs of sleep and that was like almost a day ago im going to sleep im sorry if these tags are actually incoherent
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i tried to do the hs artstyle and i feel silly cause it wasnt as bad as i thought it was to make.HURRAAAYYYYYYYY i wanna keep experimenting :3
also Golden's pose is referenced from this banger Ena card
#fnafhs#fhs#fanart#digital art#art#fhs z3ro#digital drawing#illustration#fnafhs fanart#fhsz3r0#fnafhs golden#golden#kick my 4ss if you need to idk if its wrong that i referenced the card ;_; idk man i just felt like the pose fit golden idk idk anymore#artists on tumblr#digital artist#artwork#i have a weird feeling im falling into a rabbithole cause i wanna try again#ooooh im SO butchering this artsyle
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"it's been a year since my boyfriend tommy broke up with me"
but sure, they were fiances.
#idk man so much about this episode felt off to me#like not knowing tommy was gay despite saying yes when eddie asked that question last season? weird#retconning tommy as abby's fiance and not boyfriend? weird#buck not even attempting to reconcile things with tommy#after all that stuff about having every reason to give up and trying again anyway? weird#911 spoilers
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Much as I'm glad for signs of life in the fandom, the HeyKids Archive Wiki lowkey highkey annoys me lol
Like I like the found-family aspect of the "show" as much as the next trauma-riddled neurodivergent queer former weird kid, but the Archive leans into it a bit too much, I think? Like. Where's the unsuitable-for-its-audience nightmare fuel? Where's the writers/actors getting sex jokes and profanity past the censors????? Where's the cosmic horror undertones-you know, the thing that canonically ties Candle Cove to Local 58?! WHY DOES THE SKIN-TAKER GET A REDEMPTION ARC AND ENTER A HEALTHY LOVING RELATIONSHIP WITH HORACE?!
Like, I'm sorry, Candle Cove would NOT have been a progressive-for-its-time, wholesome kids' show that actually teaches the audience life skills and age-appropriate morals, that show would have been what would happen if The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack were made with a budget of $20 and a shoe string and Thurop Van Orman was being tormented by horrors beyond human comprehension and I think we as a fandom have forgotten that.
I know I'm swinging a bat at the proverbial hornet's nest by saying this, but I am very much a mid-2010's Candle Cove fanon truther. That shit should be horror-comedy at best and 'I can't believe they let this air' at worst. It should be dark it should have jokes that fly over the child audience's heads and it should be, dare I say it, problematic.
#obviously no shade to the creators of the Archive I think that goes without saying#it just annoys me personally as a horror fan and I felt like yelling about it on the internet#idk man#I just feel like some of y'all would have an aneurysm if you watched Flapjack or any of the weird public access shit CC emulates#not even worried abt the response I might get to some creative decisions I'm planning on making anymore#why? because THIS post right here is likely equivalent to firing shots into the air to scare off the HOA#candle cove
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Amateur Hour but I gotta outsource this. Aromantics. Heed my call. What is "romantic" love to a non-believer?
Bonus Round if you're not entirely ace -- does experiencing any amount of sexual attraction influence your answer? Also acknowledging that both aro/ace identities exist on a spectrum. Believe me. I am deeply familiar... with so many kinds of spectrums........... 🧍
Also if this breaches containment It's Not That Serious........... just a personal question. For a friend. Me 🙂‍↕️
#was so tempted to put 'sometimes 'love' is just autistic obsession' as an answer bc on god#i do think that's a factor for me. like. espppppp in moe's case. moe is just Obsessed w alfonse.#extremely weird about him constantly studying him. like. it does feel like love... the intensity of it..... but.#both me and moe. most romance repulsed motherfuckers out there.#like. like. not to get too personal but the one relationship i did have. i genuinely felt i loved him#but i also think. so much of it was me reflecting what i Think love was 'supposed' to look like.#most importantly he was my best friend (at the time). and i def did feel differently about him than i did anyone else/even other friends#which is why i'm so conflicted... like half i did genuinely love him half i've never been able to love correctly#and it's always taken some level of putting on a performance according to what i see to 'perform' love#like. like. am i just autistic. does it just come down to the autism again.#but also esp nowadays like. back on my bullshit. i actually ALWAYS hesitate to call whatever moe has w alfonse 'romantic'#like. i think he does feel/experience romantic feelings. but moe is just so dysfunctional and messy#that like. i don't think it would call anything it feels about alfonse romance.#but it still completely adores him. in a way that's distinct from how it loves sharena and how it feels about anyone else.#even charas it admires. somehow. which honestly jusy leads me back to The Obsession again#also extremely focal is how the demisexuality kicks in. like. it's definitely not devoid of sexuality.#IDK IDK I'M TALKING TOO MUCH I'VE TALKED TOO MUCH AND I'M SO TIRED. I'VE BEEN SO TIRED#i'm not in my feelings honestly i'm just frustrated LMFAOOO LIKE. SCREAMING. WHY DOESN'T IT MAKE SENSE‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥#why am i preordained by fate to never be loved OR understood. wjat the hell man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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so i went to grad yesterday
rambling in the tags
#dani says stuff#i have... a lot of thoughts#im still thinking a lot of thoughts#i guess this counts as vent art/???? fdjkkjds#im just idk man the industry is rough rn#and i understand that it goes through its ups and downs i knew that when i jumped into the deep end#but this was the cherry on top of a cake#i truly felt like i was in a sitcom and they were gonna roll credits any moment#its just... such a choice of topic to say to the graduating batch from the school of creative media arts#in the age where meta wont let you opt out of their ai scraping tech#and adobe is claiming rights to artists work to train their own ai#its hard not to feel disheartened a lil tbh#three years of working myself to the bone only to get that at the end of it all#i laugh about it because if i dont i just get more upset#and honestly something about the sheer absurdity of it all does make it funny in a weird way#oh well back to drawing my silly little ocs it is <3#vent art
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“For a master of deception and subterfuge, You’ve made yourself quite the bed to lie in”
#soooo hiiiii Im back and making full color art work again!#you know the drill#death note#lawlight#light yagami#l lawliet#my art#death note fanart#deathnote#any wyayyyy time to ramble in the tags which is the real reason why I make art anyway#shout out to Monica for putting me on to the song Body Paint#that is where the lil caption is from#felt classy to use a lyric#otherwise it would have been uhhh#Foot Man#or ummmmm#L kissin feet#anywayyyyy I know we are always joking about the feet thing#but im trying to get real with it#like! it is a weird level of submission to Light… right? or idk it is possible that Light finds it humiliating#OHHH the dynamic of L trying to worship and Light finding it humbling?#anyway I will find a way to double down on the feet thing in an artsy way.#oh yeah also L smokes and thats cannon everyone hush#also what if he ever burned Light with a cig durring [redacted] and [redacted] the burn and [redacted] [redacted] [redacted]#Paris is a bad influence#bonus points to anyone who knows the movies these poses reference!
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Hey did I ever tell y'all about the time I dreamed that I had a baby daughter called Ellie that began with my finding out I was pregnant and ended on like her third birthday?
I legitimately woke up thinking "I should go check on Ellie" and then realised she was never real and when I tell you I SOBBED. I've been haunted by an implacable sense of loss ever since. Did I travel to another dimension? Wtf happened because that was insane.
#I'm not even joking when I say it felt REAL#I have this baby doll (it was my mum's when she was a kid and I have it now) that sometimes I just hold and it makes me feel better???#Did I astral project into another life?????#Was it just a really fucking intense fever dream??????#For the record I was like fifteen I have never even done the do let alone had a pregnancy scare#But yeah my little Ellie#And she never fuckin existed#I woke up halfway through planning her birthday party like baking a cake or sm and I was thinking#“I'll give her the little green cardigan I knitted”#Woke up to a silent house and was like “she's never usually quiet this time in the morning”#Then realised what had happened and started CRYING#idk man it's insane#From a psychological point of view it's fascinating but I've tried and tried to analyse the dream and?????#I always come up with something different???? I can't pinpoint the actual cause and effect of the whole thing?????#Madness honestly#And it was just a normal day too nothing weird had happened it wasn't a coma and I wasn't knocked out it was just a Dream#A very very real one#For the record I don't think Ellie had a father#I think it was just an immaculate conception that nobody ever questioned#Might have been IVF now I think about it#That would make more sense#dream#weird dreams#Ig I should add a grief trigger warning???#tw grief#one time i dreamt#Very confused and it's been like two years so wtf yeah that was... Intense#The most dream of all time#Maybe I'm just fucking insane lol but yeah
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The way I watched the new tailstube video and saw nothing really romantic and then I come on here and everyone's talking abt sonadow in the video. Like at this point I can't tell if ppl are looking for crumbs of their favorite ship when there is none or if I'm just oblivious
#ramblings#like i didn't see that lol#i actually have kind of mixed feelings on this tailstube tbh#i felt like their rivalry was really really forced here#but also the 'ultimatesorelosersayswhat' 'what?' bit is pretty funny and cute#and when they complimented each other on their use of chaos control was pretty cute too#but i didn't see anything romantic until ppl pointed that out#like sure maybe the 'opposites attract' bit from tails could've been like a tease at the ship or something#but i genuinely didn't see it that way when i watched it. tbh i still don't really see it#it's just kinda weird?? to not see the romance in something everyone else seems to interpret as romantic#like it makes me wonder if i'm the one who doesn't get it#and it's not ppl seeing something that isn't there#idk man
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