#idk ive never had someone read my piece before posting it
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fluffyartbl0g · 1 year ago
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The one piece reread only makes the hardest moments hit even harder,,,, even when you’re rereading it poorly in portugese
Or AKA, i found out today that HINATA SHOYO reads one piece and I haven’t recovered since
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#one piece#haikyuu#hinata shoyo#roronoa zoro#(kinda)#omfg okay time for my entirely SEPERATE POST IN THE TAGS#i only got into one piece at the end of last year... but ive been in the anime and manga scene for like. my entire life#i cannot understate how WILD it is that I havent noticed how everywhere one piece is....#like once i read it... i started finding it EVERYWHERE#my sister gifted me an issue of shonen jump ages ago cause i liked act age and kimetsu no yaiba chainsaw man promised neverland etc#and it doesnt have like a one piece chapter in it actually (to my disappointment)#but IT DOES HAVE A LIL ADVERTISING SEGMENT AT THE FRONT TALKING ABOUT OKIKU FIGURINES AND OTHER ONE PIECE CRAP#AND IDK IT LITERALLY JUST BLEW MY MIND#ONE PIECE DIDNT EXIST IN MY LIFE BUT.... IT DID????#I HAD ONE PIECE MERCH BEFORE I EVEN BECAME OBSESSED WITH IT??? (hahah if you can consider a tiny segment mentioning okiku op merch XD)#just imagine suddenly being obsessed with a piece of media. and then you look around ur room and U SUDDENLY RECOGNISE A CHARACTER MERCH???#ITS BEEN IN UR ROOM FOR YEARS BUT YOUVE NEVER REALLY EVEN NOTICED IT OR JUST BRUSHED IT OFF WHENEVR U SAW IT#BUT ITS THAT CHARACTER!!!! ITS THAT MEDIA THAT UR MADLY IN LOVE WITH????#also im being 100 percent legit when i say that the sense of comeraderie i feel when someone says theyve ALSO read one piece#is insane#discovering that domics and worthiikids and all these other big youtubers that ive known for years have loved one piece like me?#it makes my heart clench and my eyes water man#ive never felt so connected to the world... one piece really is peak fiction.....#i love one piece's community sm....
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epiicaricacy-arts · 11 months ago
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oh we’re still so young, desperate for attention
this was super experimental so i will talk about my process (+ clearer version) under the cut
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i’ve been looking at a lot of “messier” or more textured painting styles recently and an artist that stuck out to me is clariondeluna ! they posted a self-portrait recently that i really liked and i was super interested in the brushwork seen in their work. i love all the textures and how the shapes feel so loose yet everything is so detailed.
that’s not a method for me at all!!!! i cannot paint like that at all and the stuff i like to paint is very different to theirs. which is okay!!!! i had no intention to copy this artists style so closely like with what i tried to do in my raiden painting, i just wanted to try this style out :^)
it’s been a goal of mine to avoid over-rendering like i tend to do a lot, and i think i’ve been doing good with that recently! the mindset i’ve got going on right now is that if i find myself staring at it too hard for too long, i have to leave it and move on. if there’s still something wrong with it, i can fix it later once ive got a fresh view!
i’ve been trying a lot of things with my art this year. i always try to challenge myself with each piece, and to end the year off i wanted to be as uncomfortable as i possibly could be with this painting. i let myself draw whatever i wanted because i still wanted to enjoy it, but everything i did in this process was new, including parts of the subject matter.
i’ve never drawn a head at an angle like this, and i struggle with drawing mouths open. i don’t do bold lighting like this, and if i do, it’s not fire. i’ve never drawn fire! i also rarely work with warm colours and i hate using green, so i combined those to be my colour palette. i like working cleanly so instead of having a dozen different layers for one section, each section only had 1-2 layers for rendering. instead of clipping masks i would simply paint over things loosely and clean it up later. i never like having limbs cut off in a drawing so i had his other arm go GOD knows where. i don’t like weird patterned backgrounds so i made myself figure out how to like it!
IS THIS MY FAVOURITE PIECE OF ALL TIME. no. absolutely not. but i’m very proud of how this came out with all the challenges i put on myself. i WANTED to get better at these things and be more broad with my art, both in terms of the styles and subjects i portray.
okay let’s talk about wtf this drawing is
for those who don’t know, the design in this painting is my fatui/“Father” lyney fan design (read the design post here). the concept isnt super complicated and i don’t really have much explanation for it, but i wanted to combine the story of how lyney wanted a delusion before getting his vision, fire eating circus acts and how olympic medalists will bite their medal to prove it’s real??? don’t quote me on that i’m like 75% sure that’s a thing that happens. i don’t watch sports though so im just believing someone i heard on the internet ages ago.
anyways. i think fire eating acts are cool. and i think the fact that lyney wanted a delusion is very interesting to me. scratches my brain in the right places. and yk as a magician lyneys character revolves a lot around fooling people and creating illusions so i guess what im saying here is that lyney is trying to prove to himself that this power he’s been bestowed is real. bc his whole life his only constant has been lynette so he is trying to see if he can trust this new power. cause i guess this is an alternate universe where lyney does eventually become “Father” but he never got his vision ??? idk im not making lore for this i just wanted to dress up this funny little guy.
ok i’m done
thanks for reading
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here’s my dog
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shitpostingkats · 11 months ago
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hello hello!! i came across your post about baron in the aromantic tag and omg i JUST. needed to say that i am having the EXACT same experience as you right now 😭, aroace watching fantasy high for the first time (though in not as far in as you im on like sy ep 6), but ive seen clips of the baron scenes before and it's just like oh my goshhhh isn't it CRAZY?? how a silly goblin boy in a dnd show makes you feel more seen than anything else on planet earth (for me at least)?? And he's such an amazing character on every single level too, i think about him and him and his mom every day... of my Life....
It's just likeeee. LIKE. Oh my gosh it's just so good. he makes me very happy. i literally started watching fh BECAUSE i saw clips of the baron scenes and knew i just needed to see this. anyway yeah this got really long but. Isn't he just the best ever TBH ....
aegfvhjksjhdl I had the exact opposite experience. Saw a single animatic for Baron's introduction scene like a million years ago and completely forgot it was from fantasy high until I got to The Scene and was like "Wait. I think I've heard this before."
Not to give to many spoilers, I came into Fantasy High knowing Riz was canonically ace but like... I wasn't sure how much of a thing it was going to be? Idk, I just figured it would be the (still very nice!!!! and important!!!) representation of just saying he's ace once or twice.
HOOOOOOOOOO boy I was not expecting to have multiple scenes that examine aceness and growing up ace that cut me to the bone. I felt seen while listening to Baron's second appearance, just validated and moved and really emotional. I straight up cried, which was doubly surprising, because the last time I cried over a piece of media I was in middle school and had just finished reading the Gregor the Overlander series. Brennan and Murph just wonderfully captured a lot of really hard to articulate emotions, emotions I was always convinced were never really going to be understood by someone who hadn't experienced them first hand. And that meant all the more to me, listening to it. We are not alone. We are not incomprehensible.
Riz Gukgak being aroace is so important to me.
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coffeeallaloneandlord · 4 months ago
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got out my laptop to write a vent post like it's 2014 idk i'm just like ruminating on every breakup i've ever had and realizing after 15 years of trying to fit the role of girlfriend that is really just not for me lol! like i really thought i was on that path but if there's been any theme to my life so far it's that my path is not straightfoward like i transferred high schools i transferred colleges i moved to a new state without knowing anybody lost my housing immediately in a pandemic and still made it fucking work now i manage a restaurant which i could have NEVER seen myself doing 4 years ago even tho i always wanted to. the first most significant relationship i had when i was 18/19 was with a really genuinely great guy, i broke up with him because i knew somehow that i was too young and had a lot more to experience. it sucked because i loved him deeply and still did for years afterwards to a painful degree lmao. that colored a lot of my subsequent relationships thru college and beyond, which mostly: sucked. and they sucked because they all paled in comparison to the great relationship i had given up in order to have the freedom to have shitty relationships lol. so then i had some shitty relationships, interspersed with periods of girlbossing, then when i was 26 i started dating someone (long distance that i met thru a friend) who was really a perfect match for me in so many ways and i genuinely thought like this is it. literally had king of my heart on the relationship playlist, baby all at once this is enough. but then over time the realities of what it would take to really build that relationship, especially if it meant marriage, actually sank in for me and all that i would have to give up about myself, the life that i've built here, that i fought so hard to build. also i've said it before and i'll say it again.... this grown man let his mother do his laundry. this red flag represented more family dynamics that i won't get into for his sake but it was like once the puzzle pieces fell into place about what i was being asked to sign up for re commitment and marriage it was like omfg no. i will not be doing this man's laundry in 5 years' time fuming and resentful. so i ended that relationship which sucked because all my breakups SUCK i can never have a half decent breakup to save my fucking life, but i was still of the mindset that he wasn't the one for me and i needed to keep looking/waiting. i've dated here and there since then. but what took months and months to sink in the aftermath of that breakup was that the little details like the laundry and the distance that caused that breakup and not the underlying cause of all my breakups since i was 16 which all boil down to i don't wanna do this anymore lol. some people think the term honeymoon phase is controversial or whatever but that has been the case for me in every single relationship ive had that's gotten off the ground. relationships that don't get off the ground are a completely different story lol the only similarity is that every breakup ive ever had big or small sucked ass. to the point where it would lead to me staying in relationships way longer than i should have to avoid a traumatizing breakup which as we all know only makes the breakup worse [[laughing emoji x 13]]. so now like thinking about a guy a like and care about and him hypothetically asking me to be his girlfriend and i can't think of anything fucking worse. like no shade to the girlfriends out there. but my experience of being a girlfriend, even of a guy who treats you well, is that they are using the experience of possessing you to feel good about themselves. all guys do this. the guy who wanted to marry me treated me like aphrodite and worshipped the ground i walked on. and i believe he truly loved me, in a way no one ever has. but it felt perverse after awhile, like in the end it was really serving him. my laptop may die and i don't wanna lost this post, if you're still reading tysm for reading my stream of consciousness <333 if you didnt read this far sorry for not being perfectlol
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whattfamidoingwithmylife · 8 months ago
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hi i haven’t posted in a while and ive been on here intermittently it’s nice to see that some people have found my account and liked my posts i genuinely didn’t think anyone would see these but here are some life updates
1) i never was able to afford my tuition and am taking time off while i work
2) i’m still seeing that guy i posted about months ago and jesus christ he’s fucking perfect i’m so in love with him also he doesn’t know about my tumblr though maybe one day we will go through it together but it’s cringe honestly anyway he is pretty dominant but doesn’t know much about bd/sm (again idk if tumblr will censor/suspend me) but he did agree to go to a local membership bd/sm place for education they have classes and seminars which is good because i want to be with someone educated before we engage in anything more than we have been doing but also let me brag real quick THIS MAN KNOWS WHAT HES DOING the shmex is so good oh my god it’s always double digit O’s and i love him so much he’s a biker and the helmet pix are so hot and the black compression shirt and grey sweat pants combo has me fighting for my life i always feel like i need my inhaler when i see him like that but i am so in love with this man i hope i spend the rest of my life with him genuinely i adore him and he treats me so well
3) i had previously mentioned avina st graves’ books i became friends with the author and am also a beta reader for her she has written more books and her writing has me in a choke hold the book skin of a sinner by avina st graves has scenes in it that i helped write and it’s so surreal to have my ideas in a book that so many people have read and are reading it’s insane
4) my life honestly fell apart for a bit but i wasn’t alone to pick up the pieces my boyfriend helped me i’ve spent most of my life alone and very independent so having someone in my life telling me to stop and not worry because he is going to take care of it and me is something i’ve never experienced before and it’s truly a blessing
5) i’m still disgustingly broke and spending all my money on books and paying bills
6) my father actually put me in a shit ton of debt that i didn’t know about until i started getting phone calls saying i owed debt collectors money and i am utterly fucked on that front
anyway that’s all i know so boring and again no one will probably see this but i sometimes find solace in writing these and posting them
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lunatic-fandom-space · 3 months ago
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Der Kronprinz (1989) [The Crown Prince]
This one was really good, I was very pleasantly surprised!
But before I talk about everything that I liked, I need to be negative for a moment. So, Ive been trying to watch all these films in their original language and Ive mostly succeeded so far, but this was a hungarian film that I watched the german dub of because I thought it was a german film and it obviously wasnt. I dont really like watching dubbed live-action media, I actually thought for the longest time that I didnt like watching any live-action media because "seeing humans captured on film felt unnatural to me" like Im from fuckin back when movies were invented, but then I realized that the thing that actually felt unnatural to me was the fact that the words people would say were obviously not actually coming out of the actors' mouths. I know better now, but dubbed media still feels 'off' to me whenever I watch it, and that was the case here as well.
There were also some weird directorial choices that contributed to that off-ness, like whenever a character would make a longer statement, the camera would slowly zoom in on their face until they were done, and the way people would look towards the camera was very weird, its not that they would look straight at the camera/at the audience but they would kinda look past it but it never really seemed like they were looking at other characters who were behind the camera, it felt more like they were looking past 'you' or the audience. Idk, Im not describing it in the best way but it made for kind of a weird viewing experience
But whatever, the plot of this film more than makes up for those minor complaints. This isnt just a straight-forward romantic retelling of the events leading up to Rudolf and Mary's suicide like most of the other films so far, its actually about these two guys, Peters and Lukacz, trying to piece together the truth of Rudolf's death in the immediate aftermath of it. Peters is an american wroter who originally came to austria and met up with Lukacz to write a book about the austrian empire in general, but then they announce Rudolf's death by stroke pretty much as soon as he arrives. They talk about it while theyre on a train to vienna and the conductor overhears them them and tells them that he thinks Rudolf was actually murdered because 30-year-olds dont usually die of strokes so thats suspicious, and he wasnt very well-liked at court so theres a motive there, which piques Peters' interest. Then, when the newspaper says that he died due to heart issues instead, Peters decides that he needs to get to the bottom of this, and then the rest of the film is him and Lukecz going around and asking people who were somehow involved with Rudolf and/or his death, interspersed with relevant scenes from his life.
If youve read my other posts, Im sure youve already guessed that the main reason I like this film so much is that it has a different setup and approach to this story than the others, and that is true, its so unbelievably refreshing seeing a Rudolf-film thats not just two hours of "aww isnt it soooooo tragic that he was soooooo in love with this 17-year-old girl but just couldnt be with her because of his shitty family and wife, they had to both die to be together 😭😭", but I also think it was very well-executed. All these interviews with all these different people who are all biased in different ways do a good job of painting a very complete picture of Rudolf (in my opinion as someone whos not very familiar with him as a historical figure, Im mostly saying that because he comes across as very flat in most of the films, which I dont think is the case in this one). Theres also all these rumors sprinkled in from like random people around Maylering that Peters and Lukecz interview to see if they maybe know anything, or even them themselves being like "you know, I heard this thing...", which I really liked because it added to this being a film about the unreliable narrative(s) and the drama around the mayerling incident. In some ways its about the messy birth of the whole Mayerling Mythology which was very interesting after seeing all these romantic and 'clean' movies that exist because of it.
Another reason why I liked it, that you might have guessed already as well, is that Mary wasnt really in this film all that much. And I know that sounds bad especially coming from someone who would consider herself a feminist, but Im gonna be honest with you, Im at a point where i dont even want male filmmakers to include female characters if they clearly dont care about them. Give me a story with a rounded out cast consisting of only guys instead please, its easier to ignore the fact that you dont see women as people that way. Sorry, Im just so sick of all these boring one-dimensional portrayals of Mary and her relationship with Rudolf that this film gets points for simply not torturing me with it. However, Mary does get one very interesting scene in this one, its the very first scene of the movie before we even meet Peters and Lukecz, and its basically the only part thats presented as 'true' because its not framed by any kind of unreliable narrator; theyre at Mayerling and Rudolf is finishing up his goodbye letters and Mary asks him if he's writing one for Stephanie, he tells her that he already wrote one and shes like "did you tell her that Im with you? I want her to know that Im the last person who saw you alive", the scene goes on for a little longer but I only wanted to talk about that part because, good god, that is such an insane thing to say. But I mean, I like it, I think its interesting that shes spiteful towards Stephanie here both because Mary is usually portrayed as innocence incarnate, and because I feel like these films never really get into what she thinks of her. Well, technically this film doesnt really get into it either, but atleast theres something there
Anyway, thats pretty much all I wanted to say, the only thing would be that I didnt really like any of the performances but I find it hard to tell if its because they were actually bad or if its just that off-ness I talked about at the start.
All in all, it wasnt my favorite viewing experience but I really liked this film, it was very interesting
Oh, and theres one last thing I have to say that didnt fit anywhere else, I feel like I havent had one of these in a while;
To my knowledge, this was the second time Rudolf has been shown as a child in a film since Erzsébet királyné (1940) which is literally insane to me. Youre telling me theyve been making films about this mentally ill freak for 49 years at this point and not only has no one ever attempted to seriously psychoanalyse him or link his mental illness to his childhood, only two of them ever even showed him as a child?
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nanjokei · 1 year ago
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all your sycophants telling you to be meaner, nah youre just an asshole. did you like. even read the post in the first place. bc it doesnt look like you did?? i get that it makes you feel cool and good abt yourself to mock other ppls thinking-out-loud type posts but you basically telling them to shut up and keep their thoughts out of The Pure And Perfect Tag™ and then go on to say "oh im autistic ive never gotten the chance to rly speak up and be mean so this feels good" like..... thats so painfully hypocritical. you should KNOW how it feels to be told "shut up no one cares" so why are you doing it to someone else? so im telling you to shut up. youre annoying and no one cares and you shouldnt use other people as punching bags. asshole
did you get it out of your system. that's great. i don't really feel like giving a benefit of the doubt response anymore given after the first ask you decided to go ballistic like this... like, not even being sassy, i could have just responded "are you mad" and published it. but i am a neurotic person who will respond even if it's not in the way i initially set out to. just for you.
just for transparency, here's the first ask i got last night:
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hi. i think you are projecting a lot of feelings onto me that i did not express and stretching my original statements. which in some sense, some may see as understandable! i was being less than gentleman-ly! i don't know if this is the op messaging after i blocked them or a friend coming in to give me a piece of their mind, it does not matter. this is something i was gonna say even in the first ask: had i been approached for an apology, i probably would have caved and apologized, because i'm weak to that kind of thing. at the very least even if i didn't agree, i would have wholeheartedly apologized for any distress or trouble. this isn't bull or me trying to flatter my way out of a situation. the response i got— which a friend ended up reading, to be honest i just blocked right away— was thoroughly strange, something something apologizing and being like "idk tumblr tag etiquette" and choosing to delete the original post. which i would not know how to respond to. i'm not some kind of tag police or god of tumblr or whatever, so why apologize to me or delete the post. i am writing this response under the assumption that it could be someone else, but a hit dog will holler, in this one sentence i will address OP directly: that response was strange. had i read it, i would have either ignored it still or apologized, i have no idea, but initial my response really was "but i have no power over this person or anyone". i did not ask for you to clean up your contribution to a tag or police it. i simply stated my opinion on my blog when prompted by a third party expressedly out of earshot of the op. is that a morally correct thing? proooobably not. but it is the internet. "why are you, the person who got hated on, continuing the cycle of hate" type bs might as well be a self fulfilling prophecy. if you feel this way, why send me asks about it at all if you're gonna go ape over me not responding immediately? does it mean so much to you? go ahead and block. i do not argue with people online. but i'll respond because clearly you want one. not gonna prostrate myself before anyone, and respond just as coldly as you are painting me out to be. this is my special fanservice to you, since you wanted to believe that about me so badly.
>pure and perfect tag
i do not check tags for a reason. i checked it one time. i guess this implication comes off of what i said so i'll say it out clearly but i genuinely could care less past the initial pang of cringe what is in there. had nonnie not continued to converse with me i would have moved on ans forgotten about it. i am not a police or a militia. it means nothing to me most days if a tag is "good". who the hell cares. you are obsessing over my existence, my opinion and the weight of such a thing a bit too much over here.
>shut up no one cares
neeeever said this, and no one has ever said this to me. the story i recounted about being called toxic was in the youtube comments and was 5 years ago. no one told me "no one cares". it just hurt my ego. anyway, if someone cared so much to send two asks about it, then thank you. i really won't shut up.
>never got the chance to speak up and be mean
ok.
>my sycophants
it was one nonnie. are you obsessed with me or something? i am like one random ass blogger on a dying website. i do not have an army or cult of personality. i am just one guy.
>end of the ask
heard you loud and clear. thanks for the feedback, not gonna reflect on it much though. it was an asshole move. does it make me an asshole? yup.
it was catty and petty of me. i knew that much from the very first ask i answered. but op wasn't tagged, i didn't send anyone to them either, so i can only really think "what were you doing on my blog anyway". because yes, this is a blogging site, not a pvp site, i didn't engage with anyone to start fights. didn't bring op's name into it, didn't actively mock them (the comment about them not being special was ad hominem though i admit to that much. sorry.)
you cannot expect everyone to be 100% nice and handle people with kiddie gloves in their own blog space when they are not bringing you into it especially given i did not direct anyone to anyone's post.
had it been me i would have just blocked and moved on. pwease no steppy and all that. whoever sent op an ask about it to make them respond is kind of a drama obsessed weirdo lol. like i'm just saying. causing both me and op a headache. it did not have to shake out like this. neither of us were gonna engage with each other and everyone could have gone to sleep without any icky feelings. honestly, from my point of view, both of you are strange. wow, i am barely hiding who i think is behind this ask. but it really is addressed very generally.
don't send me another ask! i will just publish them with no response. this situation was entirely avoidable and i lament that you decided to both waste my time and your own with all this. just block me like i asked!
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thebigqueer · 11 months ago
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omg new year new fun tag game. ty for the tag!! this looks fun
1. how many works do you have on AO3?
49 currently but i have deleted or orphaned some so it could be more than that
2. what’s your total AO3 word count?
187454
3. what fandoms do you write for?
only riordanverse. i’ve considered writing for adventure time but i just don’t have enough passion for it
4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Soft Touches in the Darkness (valgrace one shot)
moonlight (valgrace one shot)
Promise? (solangelo one shot)
Lost Voices (solangelo tartarus fic)
Secrets Uncovered in the Firelight (solangelo one shot)
5. do you respond to comments?
no cuz i’m shy 😭 but i do sometimes if someone’s comment is particularly exciting or i like a take. i do always always appreciate the comments though they make me happy <333
6. fic with angstiest ending?
hmm… i would say Bottle the World (arcane au valgrace snippet) or Flaming Eyes (leo & jason)
7. fic with happiest ending?
probably New Year, Old Beginnings (valgrace secret santa au).
8. do you get hate on fics?
no not really. & i’m thankful for that!!
9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?
not publicly i don’t 🤭 but if you were to look through my docs there’s probably like one sexy piece with my ocs. idk if it counts as smut cuz they don’t actually do anything... it’s just toxic lesbian horny rage nothing really happens lol
10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve ever written?
i don’t really but i do have an arcane au. it’s not really a crossover i just kind of made up a plot for pjo characters based on the end of arcane lol. (arcane au snippets) WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED someone once asked me to do a (crackfic) she-ra & pjo crossover but i can't find the link unfortunately...
11. have you ever had a fic stolen?
i don’t think so
12. have you ever had a fic translated?
nah
13. have you ever co-written a fic before?
yes but weve only posted 2 before. all the other co-written fics never got finished unfortunately
14. what’s your all time favorite ship?
honestly i don't have one i think it really depends on my mood and what im reading at the moment.
15. what’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
ARCANE AU 😭 MY POOR ARCANE AU IM SORRY 😭 it's not that i wont write it its just that its never going to be coming out in full its all gonna be in one shots because i have 0 energy. also i had this one "immortal" au i tried writing a while ago and i still like the concept just not the characters i used at the time but i dont think ill write it again
16. what are your writing strengths?
i write a lot (as in my word counts are high per fic) but i dont really consider it a strength because i don't think length equates to the quality of a fic. a fic is good even if its short or long, and i like short fics more beacuse i feel like im feeling just as much in a shorter amount of time but other people might prefer long fics. its about what you write about and how you do it, not about length. ive also been told im pretty good at integrating introspection with dialogue but idk.
17. what are your writing weaknesses?
also plot. it's like the fics that have a really dense and thought-out plot are the ones i never get to finish cuz i get too intimmidated after i finish planning them. i'll always plan them out in bullet points and then even when im almost done planning them out i just give up at the last minute and then never get them done lol. maybe one day i'll finally write something. i think if the plot isn't too dense then it's better off
18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
i think it's cool. i don't think i've done it yet but maybe i will one day.
19. first fandom you wrote for?
percy jackson. it was a solangelo fic in first person on wattpad 💀 WAITT SCRATCH THAT. when i was in 2nd grade me & bff at the time LOVED the rainbow magic books so i think we wrote something that was similar in plot to that. that was a banger series
20. favorite fic you’ve written?
i really liked "Stay. For Once." (lost trio fic) because it was my first time writing something for the lost trio and even though looking back i might change some things i think i really loved writing about them & thinking about their dynamic. i also really liked "Stars Bursting Across His Lips" (valgrace one-shot) not because i actually like the fic itself that much but it was really fun to write cuz i think driving on a highway at night is the sexiest most erotic most romantic thing anyone can do. i dont think i have a true favorite though.
tagging: @crushing-on-nico-di-angelo @perachel-heretic and anyone else who wants to do it. no pressure though
20 questions for fic writers
tagged by @mrv3000
1. how many works do you have on Ao3? 195
2. what's your total Ao3 word count? 403 068
3. what fandoms do you write for? percy jackson and the olympians, heroes of olympus, trials of apollo, kane chronicles, magnus chase and the gods of asgard, nevermoor, her royal highness, roots of chaos, x-men (films mostly but some comic bleedover), avatar the last airbender, the legend of korra, the kyoshi novels, marvel cinematic universe, bbc ghosts, a song of ice and fire, doctor who, the locked tomb, star wars (prequels mostly), spiderman comics, rosewood chronicles, derry girls, dc (vaguely, comics)
4. what are your top five fics by kudos?
rot with all the burnouts in the cell (dc marvel crossover)
oh my brother, my brother, my brother (who have you become in the wake of all that's happened?) (star wars timetravel)
breezeblocks bricking up my heart (my take on a dadneto reveal)
water into wine (five times percy was the son of dionysus and one time he was the son of poseidon)
5. do you respond to comments? i do my best
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
that's relative and i have so many fics that this probably isn't accurate but by my own measure it's probably don't want to fight the tide (nevermoor fic, being immortal sucks)
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
again that's relative but i'd say there's a million roads to rediscover (pjo/hoo five times jason missed his sister, and one time he saw her again)
8. Do you get hate on fics?
occasionally i get like smarmy comments like one on a certain fic that the timeline didn't line up (it did + i had page references + it was tagged canon divergence anyway) but not really
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
i have one so ig lesbian threesomes??
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
i write so many crossovers i love putting characters in situations. probably rot with all the burnouts in the cell since it involved a ton of drama
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
not that i'm aware of
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
i think one of them but i can't remember which one. (technically this is studying) i'm trying to translate a few of my drabbles into scots gaelic
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
in part like it got started and then i got ghosted before anything else happened
14. What’s your all time favorite ship?
the couple i've written the most about is a tie between morridence, fierrochase, and jadie, but i'd say i get the most feelings about ruegard
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Great the Roman is coming up to its third year anniversary this month and i only hit the halfway point a few months ago so we'll see
16. What are your writing strengths?
lesbians. probably emotional stuff if i'm being serious
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
plot. its part of the reason i only do oneshots about 1k-3k but i'd like to work on more big fics. part of the reason was i started a bunch back in 2021 and i'm still working on two of them
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
one of my fics has some dialogue in scots gaelic but i cannot remember for the life of me if its supposed to be 'S ann or 'S e form and its haunting me
19. First fandom you wrote for?
fun fact: i originally wrote on wattpad and published a fierrochase fic on the release day of the hammer of thor. it's called fierrochase and it Sucks but it might actually be the first one ever which is fun if not slightly haunting
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
well you don't know me. but i know you it's a asoiaf time travel fic from the pov of people who don't know. i feel like i really pushed myself with characterisation on it
tagging people who i think write fic @tragedykery @lesmiserablol @oh-hush-its-perfect @thebigqueer @aphrodititi @ethannku @speedytherandom
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carrotmakar · 4 years ago
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Does anybody wanna be my beta reader? Like it doesn’t have to be for good, I just want someone to like read my Harry fic and tell me if it’s okay or if there’s something I missed.
I’m not completely done with it yet, so I’m hoping that by the tie I am maybe somebody will wanna read it.
If not that’s fine though lol
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rollercoasterwords · 2 years ago
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Yes yes yes to all of your points about jegulus and the capitalism of fandom as a whole. I find the whole thing so interesting in a mildly terrifying way lmao
One thing I’ve noticed with jegulus on TikTok that I’ve never really registered seeing with another ship (tho I could obviously be wrong, thx algorithm) is that people advertise their fics in a way I’ve not really seen before in forms of countdowns and trailers pre posting. And yes be proud of what you’ve created, I am the biggest supporter of tooting your own horn but sometimes it feels a little… off to me. Like almost like people are viewing fic writing as becoming ‘content creators’ and trying to go viral with these pieces of work in the same way that art and TikToks goes viral. And with the marauders and jegulus in particular being such a TikTok heavy fandom (as you pointed out in your essay) maybe that’s why it’s more apparent, because a lot more people interacting with this subsection of the fandom have been ‘raised’ (for lack of a better word) to view the internet as a place where the point is to go viral and become well known, so to create art for the sake of creation is an entirely alien concept. So why would you not make a trailer for your story and post it half a dozen times to TikTok?
And then pair that with jegulus having fewer works than bigger ships which means that the ‘bigger’ fics are known and read by the majority, which ultimately means that people have a better chance of going ‘viral’ if they post a story with that pairing compared to wolfstar where the competition is higher.
I’ve never really kept a track of these fics that are advertised and hyped up before chapters are posted, but I would be interested in how many are abandoned if and when the author doesn’t get a barrage of kudos and comments, and the subsequent serotonin boost with it.
Sorry this ask doesn’t really have much of a point or direction, (and I’m not even sure if it even made much sense ☠️) it’s just something I’ve been noticing with increasing frequency recently and I was wondering if you had any thoughts, as you write your points and arguments so well!!
anon i literally want to kiss u on the mouth u brought up sooooo many good points!! yes i have so so so many thoughts about this maybe i need to make a separate post bc like....ive talked so much about the way that like. people interact as readers with the like tiktok/social media/influencer mindset but ive definitely seen it crop up with people who write fanfic too. and the thing is bc there aren't really cleanly delineated boundaries between readers + writers of fanfic (like....most of the writers are also readers, and many of the readers are also writers) it definitely comes from both sides.
i think for anyone who has like. internalized this mentality that art must be validated by an audience to be worthwhile and that you can only be Seen by turning urself into content for consumption it's very easy to approach fanfiction with a mindset stuck in a consumer economy. and like. that isn't a moral failing, because we are literally all being conditioned to think of any creative pursuit as something that is only worthwhile if it can be turned into Profitable Content. but i DO think it's important to recognize when we're falling into that mindset, because fanfiction is so antithetical to it. and also just like....i don't think any of these people who are approaching fanfiction with this underlying idea that they need to curate an audience for validation will be able to find deep or lasting joy, because if your primary motivation in writing is just to get as many eyes on it as possible, then like....idk. it will never be enough. there will always be someone with a more popular story, with more people reading it.
and like. i actually mentioned this in my little tiktokification essay that escaped confinement, and i got a bunch of responses of people in the tags or reblogs going "there is NOTHING WRONG with wanting to share your work and wanting people to read it!!!" and i was like...i didn't say there was anything wrong with it?? i said if your primary motivation in creating art is just to get as many eyes on it as possible, you probably will not find lasting joy in the creation of that art. so :/
anyway now i think i want to write another essay so thank u for that anon lmao
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cunningambitousdetermined · 3 years ago
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i need a plot for this
yall so ive been trying really hard to get back into writing and i went to a writing camp this summer. im going to post a poem that i wrote there later bc im super proud of it but right now i have something else i need help with. SO basically there was a prompt about someone finding a letter or a note. that’s the prompt. so i wrote something, really liked it BUT I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE TO TAKE IT FROM HERE. my basic ideas involve the two characters meeting each other again to do SOMETHING WHICH I DONT KNOW and slowly arcane (youll see when you read the story below) thaws and falls in love with kalon and kalon has always been in love with her and its like best friends to enemies to friends to lovers ya know? ANYWAY if you dont hate me for being inactive and needy, please read this and help me. 
Dear Arcane,
It’s been a while, hasn’t it? 10 years. Wow. I don’t even know if you’ll ever get this, you could’ve moved. You could be dead. Oh god, that’s dark. You’re not dead, someone would’ve told me, I’m sure. So that must mean that there’s a good chance you have this, but I’m not even sure if you’ll read it.
He was right, as he most often was. Arcane had not planned to read the letter from the moment she read her name on the envelope, written in a neat sort of messy handwriting that could only come from one person. The letter had been sitting at her desk for a week before memories began to drown her and she knew she had to open it.
That’s not the point though, I’m sure you’ll read this. You’ve always been a sucker for the intimacy of written letters. Maybe that’s why I wrote to you instead of calling.
Arcane closed her eyes, the pounding of the memories at the door slowly consuming her. She took a deep breath and let them in. The whispers started to fill the room, every word echoing off the walls, like her past had become a living, breathing thing in her room. How could he write her now? After all these years. Anger reared it's small head in the back of her mind. How could he be so casual as if he wasn't the boy who ripped her heart out and tore it to pieces. 
Maybe it’s because I did read all the letters you wrote to me. Even after the voicemails stopped filling my phone and the emails ran dry, your letters kept coming.
She remembers writing those letters, the pen shaking in her hand as it hit the paper. She remembers wondering what you said to someone like him, a friend who left you behind. The squeeze in her chest that tightened each time he didn’t reply. The break in her heart when the last letter she ever wrote was returned to her doorstep.
If you’ve read this far without tearing my letter to pieces, then I would say this is a good start to our reunion. I’ve missed you. Your stubborn ways, always trying to keep me safe. But you always came with me wherever I went anyway. I miss your secret smile, the one you saved just for me. The treehouse we built in your yard. Do you miss that? I wonder if you wonder about me. I wonder if I can even ask that of you.
She did miss them. But, those things that she missed were long gone. The treehouse was overgrown with vines, Arcane was sure you couldn’t even get into it anymore. She went with him on his stupid adventures because what would she do if he left and met new people? He would leave her and she would be alone. So she desperately followed him blindly, hoping it would keep him close. Arcane missed her secret smile, the genuine one she had always saved for him. He missed it. How could he miss something that he destroyed. With his one and only letter to her, he demolished any leftover love for him that hid in her heart. He couldn’t ask if Arcane wondered about him. That wasn’t fair. That night, ten years ago, was still a raw wound in her soul that she was pretty sure would never heal.
~
The rain was relentless that night, banging against every edge of the house, but a little girl was waiting by the door, not even flinching as the lightning and thunder clapped furiously. Arcane peeked her head above the window frame to find the mailman running through the storm, his frantic steps pounding through the floor of the house. Her eyes lit up with a hope that was slowly fading with each mail drop. She opened the door and hid the small smile that started to spread up her face with a cough.
“Hi, Dan!” Arcane’s voice gave away the excitement that was flooding her system.
“Hey, Arcane.” Dan couldn’t help the pitiful grin that he gave her. She waited by the door for him every day and each day there was no letter for her. It must be soul-crushing, he thought, waiting for a letter that never comes.
“Is there…?” Arcane was practically on her tiptoes at this point. Dan rifled through the letters, dread settling as her name wasn’t there. Again. And then there was a squeal. “Oh, Dan! I found it! I knew- I knew it- I told them!” Her sentences didn’t even come out fully as she beamed, her smile brighter than any ray of the sun.
Arcane had run into the house, a breeze following in her wake. Plopping down into the soft plush couch, she ripped open the envelope, not caring about the paper that flew everywhere in the room. A paper fluttered out, floating toward the ground. Arcane grabbed it, hands shaking, she could practically feel the sweat dripping down her face. Words were the easiest way to break someone. The letter only contained eleven words, yet they would stick with her for the rest of her life.
Stop writing me. None of it was real. You were nothing.
Eleven words. And they shattered her. Crumbling, shattering, a million pieces breaking. Sobs racked through her whole body, her chest shaking and trembling with each broken breath. She caught her face in the mirror hanging off the pale wall and didn’t recognize the girl that stared back. You were nothing. A scream tore through her, the ache of her heart so raw that even the sun seemed to cry, rain dripping onto the panes of the windows. And slowly, so very slowly, Arcane buried the ache and gathered the shattered pieces of her heart and encased them in an impenetrable cage, never to opened again.
~
The ache was still present now, ten years after the letter had arrived. The dullness of her buried hurt made her clench her fists around the letter that sat in her hand now, the same lopsided handwriting adorning it.
But, that’s not why I’m writing this letter. I’m writing this with an actual purpose, if you can imagine that. I didn't just write to rehash our friendship. 
Arcane could feel her eyes narrowing, fighting the urge to roll her eyes at the inanimate piece of paper. An actual purpose? To break her heart all over again? This time she did roll her eyes, even though no one was there to see it. But, it wasn’t the fact that he wrote her after all these years or that his tone was friendly throughout that made her body freeze. It was the last line that had the hairs on the back of her neck standing to attention.
In all the years that Arcane had known him, he'd never been very dependent. He often just struggled in silence and figured them out on his own. Not once, not ever, had has asked for help. But, there the sentence was inked in his slanted, loopy writing. 
I need your help.
Love,
Kalon
  ~~everything below here is stuff that doesnt have to be a part of the story but i still liked it and where it was going (idk please give me ideas)~~
The quiet, shock of the room seemed to weigh on Arcane. She flopped back onto her bed, the soft pillows cushioning her landing. I need your help. Those few, simple words, tugged at the strings that bound her heart. He needed her. The thought was fleeting as just as quickly as it came, it left. In its spot was anger. Now he needed her? After all those years when she needed him? What did he do then? Nothing. And that’s what she was going to do now. She huffed in satisfaction, tossing the envelope to the side. Her fingers reached into her hair, massaging her head. There were too many things to think about right now. Arcane squeezed her eyes shut as memories stung her eyes in the form of tears. 
~
“Please, don’t leave me.” Arcane had whispered, her small breaths filling the one room of the treehouse. 
“I don’t have a choice. You know I don’t want to go.” Kalon’s voice broke and he looked away so Arcane couldn’t see the tears in his eyes. It was silent. 
“We’ll still be best friends right?” 
“Yeah.” Kalon’s reply didn’t hold much conviction, causing Arcane to look over at him, confused, glossy eyes narrowing. 
“To the moon and back, Kal, remember?” She said, her tone desperate. It was a promise they made one night as they were watching some cheesy movie on the old television set. The boy had told the girl that he loved her too ‘the moon and back’. Kalon had then explained that the two characters said that so that they would never be apart. They could meet at the same moon, always and then they could go back. And then, they would never be fully apart. Arcane had liked that. So naturally,  she had grabbed Kal’s face and made him promise that they would go ‘to the moon and back’ if they were ever apart. It became a goodbye for them, a way of saying ‘I’ll see you soon’. 
“Yeah,” Kal had replied, a smile barely curling through his lips, “I’ll race ya there.”
~
She wasn’t sure how long she lay there, letting her memories flow down her cheeks and into the bedsheets, but eventually she had to get up. She pulled herself up and off the bed, limbs protesting at the use. She just needed a few days is all, then she wouldn’t even remember what she was crying for.  Kalon didn’t mean anything to her anymore.
thank you for reading this far, i love all of you. just throw out ideas please. or give me some advice, i would love that. whether its about my writing or the plot i would love to have tips and constructive criticism on how to get better! tagging some moots who i hope dont hate me after this below the cut:
@natashxromanovf @pad-foots @griffxnnage @voidmalfoy @flxss-bxbblxs @alwaysreading @herondalesunsetcurve THANKS YALL I LOVE YOU MORE THEN I EXPRESS AND I DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT DESERVE ALL OF YOU AND YOUR LOVE
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kaitosimp · 4 years ago
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As a filthy, filthy multi shipper I’d like to know both headcannons you have for all his pairings and why you like them so much, if you want to of course!
As soon as I read this, my mind started ranting so hard 😂 I will happily answer! And tysm for asking bc if being able to talk about kaito is rare, imagine how much ive talked about the ships i have with him, so im very happy rn!! 🥰 WARNING: dis gonna be long as hell 👁👄👁
OKAY SO the two main ships I have for Kaito are Oumota and Saimota, Saimota is my fave ship and Oumota is my fave comfort ship! The other ships I rlly like with him are Akamota, Amamota, and Momoharu, i pretty much read any fic that has him paired with someone but these are the ones i search for on my own whereas the others its a "i'll read 'em if i come across em" type of deal! So lets dive in 👁👄👁 (i have endless hc's for my ships so i'll only give a few or else this'll never end)
🌌🎭 Oumota 🎭🌌
Reasons: I am a goddamn sucker for thematic parallels, enemies to friends to lovers, and the rivals tropes 🌚 I dont even know how i fell into the oumota hole, cause i didnt consider it much in game, but after reading a few fics it just made me so happy! I love their banter and clashing personalities and stubborness lol, and goddamn, the post game/hangar fics for them are *chef's kiss*
Hc's:
-The way Kokichi tried to get Kaito to see he had feelings for him was by bothering/pranking the absolute shit out of him, but Kaito's dense to these things so he didnt even realize Kokichi stopped bothering other ppl to target him specifically
-When Kaito realized he had feelings for Kokichi, his initial reaction was "oh fuck oh no why him pls no-"
-Eventually Kokichi had to directly tell him to his face he liked Kaito cause Kaito wasn't getting the message at all
-Kokichi loves stealing Kaito's clothes, esp his jacket
-They argue a lot but its over the absolute dumbest shit like before they got together, its usually nothing serious
-Kokichi secretly loves listening to Kaito talk about space, though he teases Kaito about it
-Kaito's fave thing is to cuddle/spoon Kokichi, cause he's the perf size to snuggle with
🌌🔍 Saimota 🔍🌌
Reasons: CAUSE YES!!! From the beggining of Shuichi being the main, Kaito is there for him and supports him so much and makes sure Shuichi is okay, he's just so supportive and loving and helpful and motivational and he's something Shuichi def needed to move forward in the killing game! I just fucking love their dynamic and how they help each other and how they balance each other out as well, plus the whole hero and sidekick thing is adorable! AND OFC THE FAMOUS "i shouldnt be talking about another boy like that" LINE ASDFGHJKL ITS CANON OKAY
Hc's:
-Shuichi confessed first, it took a few times for him to get his feelings across properly bc each time he said something like "i like you" or whatev kaito was like "aw bro i like you too!"
-Kaito tried to get over his crush on Shuichi bc he thought Shuichi wouldn't go for someone like him (i hc him being kinda insecure and covering it up with that confident persona of his)
-Shuichi isn't big on physical contact, but he makes the exception for Kaito bc he's always so warm and gives the best hugs
-Shuichi is the only person who Kaito lets see him vulnerable, it took a lot of time but he eventually learned to stop bottling everything with Shuichi
-Kaito constantly takes Shuichi stargazing, its his fave thing to do and Shuichi is ever so happy to accompany Kaito and listen to space rambles
-Their first kiss was beyond awkward and Shuichi nearly fainted but they got the hang of it eventually
🌌🥑 Amamota 🥑🌌
Reasons: I literally saw an amamota fic on ao3 and it won me over oops- to me it just makes sense! They're both adventurers in a way and i love their personalities together, Kaito's boisterous nature would be a nice change of pace for the ever calm Rantaro and Rantaro's mellow nature would be something refreshing for Kaito y'know?
Hc's:
-Kaito always tried helping Rantaro catch up in classes bc he always misses 'em to travel and he was always the first one to welcome him back
-Rantaro got attached to Kaito and didnt even realize it until he came back one day and kaito wasnt there to greet him (cue disappointed rantaro and bAM thats when he realized)
-Kaito loves hearing about Rantaro's travels, he's always asking for pics and details
-Kaito confessed first, he literally couldn't take it anymore and just threw it out there while Rantaro was mid greeting
-Rantaro didn't tell Kaito about his sisters until about a year into their relationship bc he was scared Kaito would disappear too
-Rantaro literally re-visited a bunch of islands and countries in the artic circle just to take pics/vids of the aurora borealis for Kaito
🌌🎹 Akamota 🎹🌌
Reason: I just think they'd be sooo cute together 🥺 Kaito and Kaede are both positive people who try to help others and their personalities fit so well together! Idk man it just makes sense to me
Hc's:
-Kaito absolutely loves hearing Kaede play the piano, sometimes he'll sneak record her so he can listen to it whenever he's feeling down
-Kaede tries teaching him how to play the piano, instruments aren't his thing but he tries his best in the lessons cause it makes her happy
-Kaito's confession was accidental, he was just listening to her play when he blurted out how pretty she was, which led to an awkward confession talk with lots of blushing
-Kaede has tried to compose a piano piece that embodies Kaito's personality but she fails everytime, cause his larger than life personality is hard to capture perfectly
-They're both big on affection, so they're constantly holding hands and hugging
AND FINALLY, 🌌🔪 Momoharu 🔪🌌
Reason: THEY'RE GREAT TOGETHER OKAY 🥺 I just love how Kaito got Maki to come out of her shell and how he trusted her/accepted her!! He gave her the cutest nickname and befriended her and literally gave his life up to protect her, aND MAKI'S CONFESSION ABOUT FALLING FOR KAITO STILL MAKES ME CRY
Hc's:
-Maki confessed it ever so casually while mid training, which literally made Kaito fall over in shock
-Kaito loves Maki's hair, he could spend hours playing with it and he always helps her brush it
-Maki hates her scars, but Kaito's always there to kiss em and remind her how beautiful she is, he always traces constellations on 'em when they cuddle
-Maki's constantly scared she'll accidentally hurt Kaito, or that he'll get hurt bc of her past
-Kaito's very protective of her, just like Maki is of him
-Maki loves the sound of Kaito's voice, her favorite thing is to listen to him talk about space
W O W i am so sorry for this massive post 💀 I seriously tried limiting myself asdfghjkl oops
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mingot-studios · 3 years ago
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Things currently polluting my mind (will be added to as i think of things)
 How bad the Star vs. Finale was, and weather i should even bother trying to watch the show again at this point
The fact that the next JoJolion chapter is coming out soon and I STILL haven’t read 107 with my mom even though I’ve already read it
Not being caught up on One Piece and having 0 IDEA of whats happening at this poin as well starting to flaws with the series (racism, transphobia, and homophobia) that i knew was there but chose to ignore and weather it should hinder my relationship with the series. Also wanting to murder Oda for demoting Franky to ‘Pervy Grandma’ (srsly wtf oda)
Upset Infinity Train was cancelled even though i never watched it, and wonder why the fans cry for it to come is suddenly not happening?
The fact i’m going to be returning to in person schooling which is my personal HELL
my brother leaving for college upstate (Me and my brother have never really been that close, we fight alot but I cant imagine life without him)
The fact that my procrastination has gotten so bad that I nearly had to retake PE, World History, and English
The Owl House coming back on the 12th but i had downloaded the first 2 episodes but haven’t watched them and debating if i should, also having a meltdown  over Disney screwing the show over and having its third be 3 or 4 (i cant remember) 44-minute specials
The fact that me and brother STILL haven’t finished our Yume 2kki Let’s Play
I haven’t been watching anime regularly with my mom
I haven’t posted anything to my DeviantArt or YouTube in months
I have so much energy right now but no outlets
I still haven’t tried out my drawing pad i got for my birthday last year
I have so many drawing ideas but my spiral sketchpad is filled up and I have yet to get a new one
Ive many intricit and detailed story ideas that i know im gonna forget if i dont write them down bu due my procrastination i haven’t done so im prolly gonna lose everything
The fact Thurston Waffles hasn’t posted anything since late April as well as the fact that he’s got Kidney problems
So many ideas for videos but I only have WindowsMovieMaker and the HumbleBundle my mom got me idk YEARS ago won’t install
I’m gonna be 17 at the end of September, which i only have until next June before I graduate High school, have to give up my Chromebook, start thinking about college and getting a job, possibly moving out and living on my own, the knowledge that my parents are in their late 50′s and early 60′s so hey might be gone sooner than most parents and I dont know how to function without my parents doing everything for me
These weird tingles ive been getting in my body for he pas couple days
The fact that im not gonna a kid soon and im gonna have to grow and stop doing whatever i want whenever i want and i’m gonna never accomplish my dream of creating a successful cartoon and will probably end up at a dead end job I HATE just to make ends meet and eventually dying alone because I dont wanna be in a relationship or have kids
Everything is too overwhelming. The light, the sound, my thoughts, its all too much. I wanna curl up into a tiny ball and disappear from this awful experience called life
Capitalism
i hate being so passionately when i’m upset, everyone else is calm but i have meltdowns and freaks outs over things i shouldn’t even care about or are miniscule (Comes with being autistic i guess)
I have 0 patience and i hate it
I’m starting to regress back to being a childish brat after all the progress i’ve made
i’m constantly surrounded by either criticism or praise that contradict each other so i dont know what to believe about myself
the fact that i have so many great story ideas but i cant write a cohernt thought with proper grammer or sytax or spelling o save my life, nor the art skill or the patience or the tech to draw comics
i haven seen my therapist in days and i need help but i know im not actually gonna change 
having gender panic
I have no in person friends and ive forgotten how to interact with people
ive become a noodle limbed nerd
Ive gotten super skinny
I want someone o break through my shell and help me change bu I know thats just a fantasy and im the only one who can do that but im too lazy to put effort into it
everything i used to enjoy suddenly feels tedious monotonous repetitive and uninteresting
I feel trapped and scraed 
The fact after being bulied so much the only way i can really assert myself is to get violent and angry because they would want me breakdown and cry
I have this image in my head of who i want to be; And badass that people including adults, are scared of and know not to fuck with me or they’ll get hurt (Basically Jotaro, bu I’ve had this image since before i even knew what jojo was) And the fact I KNOW that i’s a pointless endever and that i only dig my own grave when i get mad but its like ingrained Branded into my my psyche so im always going to larp that vision of myself but not get anywhere and only regress further
I want to address my problems and change but I never do and stay static and regress
I cant take crticisim even though i know its true
The reason im so scared of writing fanfiction is because i know its gonna be a mess despite what i think is a great story and people will end up mocking it and what little self confidence i have will shatter
Star Vs wasted potential
the fact that I dont know where to take the whole “Rubi dies at the  end of he first season but comes back o life except she’s not actually she’s just a walking meat sack containing an anchint eldritch god that will, sooner or later, burst out of her and destroy her body, and she’s fighting for control of her ow body due to Skarlotus trying to devor her soul and Data’s medience is only delaying the inevitable” storyline of my concept cartoon, The Crypto Club
I have an AMAZING idea for an Invader Zim storyline that has fascism, rascism, mass genocide, child soldiers, political intrigue, propaganda, baiscally space hitler and more (okay that came out sound REALLY bad, but NONE of it painted as good!) It also involves Zim and Dib coming together to stop an even bigger threat and there is a really ironic ending that brings my OC GA83′s story full circle
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nefoe-dd · 3 years ago
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SO SMT AU AM I RIGHT GAMERS
I mentioned this in the tags of another post and joked about it in Discord but my brain went brrrr during my last class of the day and now I lowkey have a full plot starting to form lol.
Keep in mind the only Shin Megami Tensei game I’ve played myself is the Nocturne remake, plus I only really remember bits of the plot of 4 and whatever we’ve been given so far of 5 so I’m not super well versed in the series.
Also I’ll add this to the tags too but DSMP Spoilers specifically for the contents of Techno’s Will exist in this post, because that is where the idea for this came from. A lot of other JRPGs have similar plotlines but I specifically thought of SMT because its kind of a meme specifically for that at this point how the plot always seems to have the same type ending bosses. 
Also some spoilers for Shin Megami Tensei IV
ANYWAYS
Now Presenting: An AU where Techno’s Limbo is an SMT Game lol
(Under a ‘Read More’ because it got way ahead of me)
An Introduction to Relevant SMT terminology:
Demons: Makes up a large majority of the characters in the game. They are the enemies that you face in combat, and its possible to recruit them to your team through various means. Some demons exist in the overworld though, and can be talked to normally, they’re chill most of the time, unless you do something to tick them off. ‘Demon’ is not taken literally by the Christian definition, they are based off of various figures in folklore and religion around the world, some are even based on Gods and Angels.
Law vs Chaos: Many SMT games have multiple endings based on these two alignments, along with the neutral alignment. It is usually decided by some important decisions the player makes throughout the game. I’m most aware of the SMT 4 ending, in which the route you are on decides the final dungeon, the character you team with for the ending, and the final boss (its either Satan or the in-game version of God). It’s based off of the traditional interpretation of these two, where Law represents the importance of authority, and Chaos represents the importance of freedom. 
Another note is that a lot of SMT games take place in a post-apocalyptic world of some kind, which, spoiler, is the case here.
General Plot Details and Worldbuilding:
- Techno dies in the prison. The stasis chamber fails and Quackity succeeds in killing him. Permanently. 
- Despite dying, he wakes up again in the main prison cell, but things are different. The lava isn’t blocking the entrance anymore, (in fact there isn’t any lava at all), and he’s alone. Upon peering outside the main cell, he notices a bit of sky peeking through the prison ceiling, like it had been broken into. 
- The drop down to the bottom floor is long, but he’s dead, so he just shrugs and jumps down so he can see what’s going on. Turns out there are several holes in this part of the prison, in fact there are multiple on the ground, likely where the lava had escaped from. (Obviously Minecraft lava specifically doesn’t work like that, I’m pretty sure in the DreamSMP the bottom is all source blocks, but just ignore that bit). 
- He exits from the back wall of the prison, and everything there so far looks normal, except for the fact that there appears to be less trees than normal. Of the trees that are still there, many of them were cut down and never collected, and some appear to have fallen over due to some damage.
- Techno goes around the prison to the front, and that’s when he notices some things that are very wrong. Various parts of the prison, not just the main cell, are also sitting destroyed. Many cracks, scuff marks and full-on chunks are missing on the walls. The usual entrance which houses the nether portal is hardly still standing, and he can see straight into the main lobby where the portal would lead into once you were let through. 
- The surrounding areas are not much better. Tommy’s outpost is toppled over in the distance, only the base and bottom floor are left standing. The tents near the beach are collapsed and destroyed, the only remnants of one of them is a small piece of fabric ripped from the main bit and laying on the ground. Skeppy and Badboyhalo’s mansion is crumbling where it stands, half of the back wall and ceiling are gone. And that’s only what’s visible from here. 
- The rest of the server is also in various states of destruction, the spawn walls are hardly left standing, the main nether portal area is covered in potholes, none of the portals are active. The prime path is rotted and broken in most areas, the buildings along it are not faring much better than the ones he’d seen before. And the further he gets away from the prison, the more the plants themselves appear to be dead or dying. 
- L’manburg’s crater looks much the same as it once did right after its destruction, albeit with more debris at the bottom which had fallen from the sides as they slowly eroded. The flag at the bottom is torn up and discoloured, honestly its hardly recognizable. The nature that had finally begun to reclaim the land has slowly been dying instead over time, and the bridge overtop has completely collapsed. The only thing still standing, is the ever present obsidian grid that looms over it in the sky. He supposes that whatever disaster had caused this wasn’t able to reach that high up, or that it was at least in part done by someone that liked the way it looked. Not that there seems to be a need for the reminder anymore. 
- Something something, he finds out DreamXD is here, and that he might have had something to do with how this world looks. And as much as it shouldn’t matter in the afterlife, he did promise Phil he would be killing God sooooo he goes on a mission to do just that. He can do pretty much anything now that he really doesn’t have to worry about dying, so why not. He has no reason to care about some God, especially when they’re the only ones left.
- Some DSMP people hang around the world and are represented by certain demons, the mostly chill ones that kinda just hang around in the apocalyptic scenery. They don’t recognize him, it isn’t really the people he knows after all, but they are willing to talk to him since they can tell he isn’t human either. He learns little bits of what happened through them, and learns where DreamXD resides, that being one of the strongholds that’s a bit further out. 
- Unfortunately, due to the portals being inactive, and his inability to break anything efficiently, or even at all, he has to travel using the overworld. Along the way he manages to speak to some others, this allows him to better locate where the God is, although it doesn’t seem to be hiding out. He even sees it sometimes flying around, which he uses to follow where its hiding. 
- Some of the random demons he runs into recognize that he’s not supposed to be here (according to them at least), so he has to fight his way through them. Luckily, many of the friendly demons that he talks to end up tagging along in order to help, thus making up a team he can use to get through them instead.
 - There’s probably a demon that seems to resemble Phil somewhere, living alone (alone for so so long) away from everyone in an arctic house perhaps. If I wanted to really up the angst, the demon takes a liking to Techno right away, which is partly how Techno is able to tell its him so quickly. The more they talk, the more Techno realizes how lonely the Phil he knows must be without him there, how upset he’d be once he reads the will and finds out what happened to him. Thus he’s more motivated to, you know, fight God, in an attempt to figure out what the hell happened. (DXD is the only entity existing here that also exists where he’s from, he can guess pretty easily that maybe, just maybe, they are one and the same). Thus, he is given a choice that he knows he will have to make in the future. 
- Eventually he manages to find the stronghold and comes face to face with DreamXD himself. DreamXD is just kinda chillin there, they fight, through DreamXD doesn’t seem to be putting in too much effort, almost like it does not want to win. 
- Techno wins (duh), and he is left with a choice, a choice to finish the job, or spare the god and allow it to go free. And, well, he feels that he doesn’t really have the right to decide whether it lives or dies, and while its possible that DreamXD caused whatever disaster created the current state of the world, but he doesn’t know that for sure. DreamXD has done nothing this whole time he’s been here, and its done nothing to him or his companions.
- He chooses to leave it alone, and DreamXD seems to know that it was always going to end that way. 
- DreamXD disappears, and Techno wakes up in the cell again post-revival, the prison and the world around it is the same as he remembers
(I don’t remember the exact real-world to limbo time difference but I imagine that it felt like, a day, maybe half that, while irl it was only a few minutes to an hour.)
Some other notes/details:
- The other possible ending would have resulted in Techno killing DreamXD and being given ANOTHER choice to take its power over the world, or just leave and stay there forever. Basically DreamXD’s existence is vital to the power of the revival book, and it’s death would have resulted in Dream not being successful in his revival attempts. Obviously we have no idea how the powers actually work yet, but I just came up with an explanation because I thought it would be interesting. You can decide on your own which of these endings fall into Law, Chaos or Neutral because uh, its complicated given the scenario. You can also decide if letting DreamXD live even fits into his character! Idk! But its not like DreamXD’s being oppressive by any means, not that there’s anyone to oppress here anyways. That’s my logic anyways.
- I don’t know what demons would represent specific people, I’d like to use one of the Angels for Phil but the Demons based on Angels usually have an important role in the plot that is in line with the Law alignment and like, protecting god or whatever, so no. There are a couple bird ones but idk if they fit the vibe, idk it could work, I’d have to look at a list if I want to go into this further.
- I kinda want Eret to be an Inugami because it’s body does that thing that ferret’s do when they’re all stretched out :) The only reason I’m hesitant is because Inugami is a dog, and Goose deserves representation.
- The reason I imagined for why Techno can’t break anything is because the mining fatigue lasted throughout this because he died with it, it’d get in the way of fighting too but at least it isn’t weakness, and he’s not alone either.
Uhhhhh that’s it for now I think!
(will potentially add to this if I figure something else out in the future)
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laddumb · 3 years ago
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OMORI SPOILERS, but it accidentally turned into a long appreciation thread for the game and fandom??
[TLDR] I am very greatful for this community and the game because it pretty much got my life back on track ♡
Anyways thinking about how in the "netural" ending when basil yknow, uses the garden sheers on himself, sunny decides that nothing is there
Sometimes i wonder if sunny really still cared for basil or not, but thinking about it now
He did
He still cared for everyone.
In his mind basil was still his best friend, and to see his best friend do that
Fuck man
Omori hurts bad
Whenever i sit here and think about the little things
The slight details that i missed in febuary
Theyre all so
Hurtful
So greatful that i found out about this game man, it means so much to me, before Omori i spent all day miserable thinking about the same thing that upsets me so much but
Omori gave me something new to think about, something that wasnt distracting because it made me sad or someones life was at stake, but because it made me happy
I finally have the motivation to draw and animate again, and sure the bad things are still on my mind all day but, i see an omori video or meme or fanart or just think about the game and the bad thoughts are completely lost for a moment
I could talk about this game for hours on end, truly
And Basil man, ive never related to a character so well, its so nice seeing someone whos like me, even if its fictional
Its like nobody understands me as a person but if Basil were here, he would because he IS that person
Ik it sounds corny, but its 5 AM and im in a strange mood, no, more like a greatful mood
I think im starting to be happy with the things in my life, and that happiness started because of Omori. And fuck yeah this fandom is amazing, a majority are great people, you guys make beautiful art and animations, hilarous memes, cool ass fanfics, all the good shit
Its stupid, i know, to say a video game is whats picking my life back up, but ive felt so fucking terrible for over a year and finally, finally im starting to be okay again
Its not just omori of course, but i can thank omori for being the reason i started appreciating the things i had more, and loving my people more, i spend time with my family now, i dont just sit in my room miserable all day. I sound like an idiot huh
Idk man im just rambling
Rambling my thoughts onto this silly app and like 10 people will see this and read it through
Idek how this post got to this point, i just wanted to talk about a little detail i noticed
Idk man, this game will likely forever be my number one, maybe im wrong but, right now, where im at, this game is like motivation for me
Thank you Omocat for creating this game, thank you everyone who donated and made the games creation possible, thank you to a majority of the fandom (excluding the ppl who would look at or make r34, blame basil, and argue over ships aside from the hero x anyone but mari and the sibling ships cuz wtf?? Why would u ship siblings or hero with the friend group??) Because truth be told, with how small this fandom is, its like every day i have new fanart to look forward to
Just off the top of my head, ginumo and tabdood i owe you 2 a lot <3 U two are one of the main reasons i stayed in the fandom at the beginning and i look forward to every piece of art you guys make, so thank you
Theres others but im bad with names
Not just them tho, every piece of fanart i see, i love it
I love beginner artists making fanart because fuck yeah its so sweet, and one day they'll look back at it, thats where they started, and they'll want to revisit omori, and all the artists that have been drawing for years and years making omori art, YEAAH MAN EVERY FANARTIST BRUH <3
I love all of you, every creator in this fandom, yeah im talking about you
What you just made one drawing?? Oh u just discuss the game?? FUCK YEAH I LOVE TALKING ABOUT THE GAME !! THAT ONE PIECE OF FANART IS GOLDEN BRO !!
Dont get me started on the comics yall make
Even the people who like or reblog, yall keeping the fanartists and discussors going bro
Love yall
Everyone of yall
Goodnight ♡
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CRYING IN THE (WINTER)CLUB
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Before starting the ID I want to say there are some OC characters in this, and I’ve described their general appearance in this google doc for ref!
[ ID: Wide front view colored art drawn traditionally and colored digitally. Every character is in fullbody except Dr Habit whos drawn till above legs. In the scene many people are gathered out in the winter snow at a backyard. Snow falls everywhere. Overall pic is light blue toned. There is slight pale vignette around it.
Dr.Habit is looking away and wiping a tear, smiling. In the artists interpretation he has yellow fur, pink hair, stitches on hands, deep red nails.He wears long brown fur coat, big white knitted scarf, black fingerless gloves, black fur ushanka with orange fruits and green leaves design. Wears hair in a long plait. A dark grey maine coon leans into him.
Putunia is laying down, hands on cheeks making a ''ooo'' face in anticipation and glee. In the artists interpretation she has long dark brown curly hair. She wears a purple petunia shaped dress, blue pants, short brim straw hat with fake purple flowers,  thick yellow socks. Wears hair in big pigtails tied with pink bobble ties. She is looking at Lil Habby( the puppet) holding a fire gun to a melting chocolate bar, melting into a cup for making a drink. He wears the usual with a pink flower in hair. He has long thin simple shadow arms and legs here.
Marigold is sitting idle on the grass, looks curiously at snow on his petal hair, maybe even irritated. Near him on a pink cushy sofa with green highlights and little yellow flower designs sits Rose playing his flute eyes closed and legs kicking casually. In this picture his hair is longer. His hair tie rests on a sofa arm.
Behind him the Carlas are making a Snow Carla. Fortune Teller Carla is smiling and keeping a camellia on the snow figure. A red sleeveless dress and red gloves are drawn on her, wears hair in double buns with sparkling grey flower bands encircling buns, green eyeshadow. Another Carla laughs heartily, adding more snow.  A green buttoned dress with yellow ''fluff''  and striped brown cap with same fluff is drawn on her. The third Carla's face is away from viewer, she too is adding snow. A blue dress like Elsa's icy dress and a purple flower crown is drawn on her, though the cape is actually worn. The Snow Carla has one swirly eye dug in, a button eye with leaf lashes and branch eyebrow, carrot nose, red wax lips stuck on. From the camellia tree behind the red-clothed one, a pair of green cat eyes with thick brown brows stare.
Farther away on the other side Kamal is walking in, holding a half eaten pitha in hand while approaching. He holds a bag with a box saying ''To Kamal, with love''. In the artists interpretation his face is acne scarred. He wears a blue-black sweater, purple scarf, blue pants, brown winter shoes with white fluff at the top, one gold earring, frog shape chew necklace, hair is in a bun.
At the center Trevor is reaching up  with a stool and fiddling with a giant vibrating hot chocolate machine. He wears his usual coat with added blue jeans, red scarf with yellow and black stripes, leopard print heels, green goggles, mask for mouth, silver ear piercings. Hair is in a mullet and nails are sharp and black. The machine has a funnel streaming black smoke, and many bright devices on it. In the center of it is a radioactive symbol. On one side to its bottom is a part reading ''DEVIL MODE'' in allcaps with fire graphics, a big red button in a glass case is above it with a note that reads ''Never(underlined) touch'', stuck with a smiley face pin. There is a mounted fish figurine on one handle. The hot chocolate is fizzling over the brim.
Behind him a long table laiden with food is seen. There are swirl designs on the wood's sides. There are red and green apples, borscht, three colored drinks, yorsh, glintvein , 3 tier chocolate cake, shchi, cut open peaches, cut round bread, bowl with sweet bread cakes, three small buns, full breasted chicken in aluminium foil. Lily is looking over the table edge, grinning with the aim of stealing the cake.
There are plants around, a winter garden. In some places a green color overtakes the snow with grass growing. All over the yellow fence, to the left side, are huge clumps of winter jasmine.
To the horizon trees in blue-green shades with snow coverings are seen, closer and then farther and farther away. In that distance the silhouettes of Jimothan smiling and waving to Trencil, while dragging Parsley through the snow behind him are seen. Trencil stands and smiles, a little of his towering purple castle with red highlights, many turrets, visible.
end ID]
DESC UNDER CUT 
yisssss MFERS I made a winter piece before winter was FUCKING OVER sobsob
heres my yearly tribute to the season of nosebleeds cracked lips and flies aND SNOW!!!!!!!!(NOT WHERE I LIVE ;W;)
Also my birthdays really soon. Like next week soon
Ermmm ahffjd to talk a little about what I drew...hmmhfhg...well idk if the perspective( god i tried) makes this look different so ill just throw it out there thats Habits not looking at my sonaJDJVNJ hes looking away and crying due to found family feelings. Carlas doing some gay shit. Pabit+Putunia about to start a small localized natural disaster. I mean how else do u make hot choco without setting chocolate on fire tbh. Hotted chocolate. aNd YeS mY fAmIlY SeLf iNsErTs ArE ThErE tOo >:3. The machine will explode tommorow but its OK. They can make bath bombs from the carnage. Hrhggh I had a different idea but then my sis changed my HC so Im just gonna say Habit built it but with Trevors help hence the flashiness nd DEVIL MODE. Now that ive watched hlvrai i cant stop dropping references this series is so quotable .   Sawww those guys in the back? Honestly Trencils probably a winter person with the low light, fog and blocked sun.
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EDIT: WELL MY BIRTHDAY GOT OVER AND JANUARY ALMOST TOO DAMN..GETTING OVER MY HEAPING ANXIETY AND POSTING
I dont Expect a lot of notes or anything but I suppose its alright, one of the important things to me is just archiving my art somewhere.
I know the IDs long but I’d recommend reading through if u also wanna like know the specifics of what I drew, OVER 15 PLANTS I THINK   I’d be flattered,
If you reblog with tags i’ll be happy though!!
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[ID: The same drawing but with no editing- no vignette, snow overlay, blue overtone or color correction. end ID]
EDIT: Shortened the rlly long ID, but if someone wants to know the plants i drew under ‘winter garden’;  The flowers and plants visible at front are virginia rose, red chokeberry, snowdrops, a single frost covered rose, piers japonica in pots. To the middle inkberry, more snowdrops, colored hellebores patch,  glory of snow, black hellebores patch, pansies, cyclamens, yellow aconite, some more snowdrops. A little farther are two winterberry plants, a camellia tree, witch hazel, english primroses, staghorn sumac. 
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