#idk its not like this is new and ik ill get used to it but golly gee is the world loud
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saeshiraw · 1 year ago
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tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry
#tw rant#studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not#its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels#so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday#i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me#n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone#yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my#friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep#of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle#but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today#i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts#and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics#just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people#im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier#im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk#and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know#but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac#h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe#ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch#people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and#seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want#are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to#spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was#i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next#“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes#me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good#but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im#intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout#but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one?#the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone
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phagodyke · 9 months ago
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damn I rly have another 4 weeks of holiday this year huh. I should start making some plans
#well maybe more like 3 weeks bc I wanna keep some to use for long weekends or day trips#but thats still kind of a lot..#my problem is i dont wanna take time off just to stay at home bc I do that most weekends. but im not sure I rly wanna go anywhere either#I dont mind travelling but its very much just a function for me. even when im travelling for fun + not bc I Have to it feels no different#Im v independent but I just dont rly have the adventurers spirit. plus im disabled so going new places alone is so stressful sometimes#ugh I dont wanna let my parents catch wind of how much holiday i have tho bc theyll be like come stay with us for a week!#i will Kill Myself no thanks#theyll probs already get christmas with me and thats an ordeal enough#its the expense as well idk how much its worth it. even if i can afford it like that money couldve gone into so many other things#ahhh.#my flatmate did suggest we go somewhere together but i feel like shes gone off that idea.. ik she doesnt get as much holiday anyway#id feel bad eating into it just so she has to spend more time with me even tho we already live together. nightmarish ik#there are maybe some landscapes id like to see but not alone bc id wanna hike but i dont rly have any friends into that kinda hiking#like i cant rly just fuck off into the mountains for a week by myself the risk is stupid#i dont knooooow. maybe ill just do myself a cornwall trip v early or late summer when kids are in school that might be nice#bc its just trains to get there. and ive spent a lot of time alone there before like it wouldnt be as stressful as a New Place entirely#i wanna do a music festival in the summer too but rly id only need 2 days holiday for that. and again i cant rly go alone#so i need to find ppl to convince to come w me#god i feel so lame for not rly wanting to go on proper holidays. but its never felt worth it to me sorry 😭#blame the childhood trauma or whatever#ill stew on it and maybe ill think of something we'll see. ive got a while yet before id need to book stuff anyway#gotta do some more cleaning today but the sooner i can get it done the sooner i can play elden ring 🙏🙏🙏🙏#.diaries
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nomaishuttle · 1 year ago
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i kind of dislike that its like. focused on your sim being a landlord it seems (from surface level looking into it) But whatever
#iiii am going to use it so i can have a huge family living on the same lot without having to use mods to increase household size#bc it gets overwhelming having to control like 50 sims LMAO. this is awwwsome bc i legit just this morning got inspired to start a new#legacy save ik i always say that and then i barely even make it to 3 generations but listen. this ones going to be different bc i remembere#ghosts and i have a rly cool mod so that only certain sims (kids animals and some other sims) can see ghosts#so i think itd be swagalicious to have a ton of ghosts . idk why i said swagalicious sorry. butttt itd be so cool to have this huge old#house and split it into smaller apartments so i can have a big family living there :] and have little likee detached apartments..#im just kinda bummed that itll treat the extended family members as like. tenants. rather than family members#BUT this is exciting. i feel like i cn make something rly similar to my great grans house#where like. you had the main house my great grans house and then you have my uncle ronnies trailer in the front yard and then#my aunt brits/shaes (idr whos it actually was skull) trailer out back...#and this could also be like my grannys house Ill never be able to actually make my grannys house in ts4 its got like. a kind of weird layou#its not weird TO ME bc its normal. but its built into a hill so ts4 doesnt like it#same thing with my grans house. both of them r built into a hill so its just not doablee 😭 unless they completely change the way they do#terrain + floor levels. bc the way my grannys house is like#the front door is ground level and then theres a little landing bit#and then you have a staircase upstairs and a staircase downstairs#and downstairs is Technically a basement but bc of the hill like. the back wall of the downstairs has a little patio. even tho the front is#likee. its not completely underground theres likee maybe 2ish feet above ground level and there s a window there peeking into a flowerbed#and the downstairs isnt like a normal basement bc its like. its got 3 bedrooms + a living room with fireplace and its own full bathroom. an#also the laundry room is down there#sigh.... so basically the house is like. its a very simple 2 story house but theres like. its just shifted so its a halfstory below ground.#i mighttt be able to do something with platforms ?? to make it work?? but i wouldnt be able to build it into the hill#my grans house is more straight forward like the basement is mostly underground aside from the very back wall which is also the garage#butttt its also got a little landing on the staircase that leads to the basement. and theres a door there that leads outside#it also has a bunch of random doors on the top floor (which is the floor you enter on but as you get further back into the house its like.#it kind of turns into a 2 story house)#this isnt my grans Now house she moved out yeah im upset abt it but whatever. but yeah its like that bc apparently the basement used to be#like. entirely underground but when the interstate was built they had to like. move the house ?? or move the hill at least. so yeah
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ace-with--a-mace · 2 years ago
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i can hear again but i can hear wayy better now and everything js super loud
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nomairuins · 27 days ago
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whining hours . sry
#like idk i try to like. imagine a future where i have like. friends. you know. Bare mimimum i have People i talk to. who arent lamp. and i#just cant imagine it happening again#like. i genuinely feel like i cant connect to ppl anymore and idk how id like. i dont see a way for me to do that ever again since i cant g#to school and like. sny job im able to get wouldnt be the kind where i like. meet people or make friends. and last year when i eent out wit#the express purpose of Making friends i literally couldnt. speak to anyone. like i just sat alone with my headphones on until it was time t#go home ... i dont know how to like. initiate casual conversation#+ like. i worry i get way too invested in any potential friendships bc i want so badly to be Normal and have friends and then i freak out#rly badly over something trivial. and thats entirely my fault like I need to work on not letting my freakouts effect the person im freaking#out abt. yk. like its my stupid brain that just gets rly rly overly defensive and weird abt everything its not like. I need to work on that#and thats another reason i dont knowif ill ever be able to make friends again is bc i genuinely dont trust myself not to get overly attache#way too quickly and then explode or something. idk#i also think maybe im just not meant to have actual lasting relationships with anybody ever. yk. like maybe im not meant to ever have roots#and maybe i just wont ever get to have stability and my life will always be entirely transient. Perhaps thats for the best so that i dont#have t like. lose ppl. and ppl dont have to deal with me#+ if i make bad decisions there r less ppl to care abt it. you know. which is a plus. idk#theres like. some parts of me r like desperate for friends and for love and to just . feel like i exist and Talk to people and like. have#stability. and then the rest r like No this is good bc we cant hurt as many ppl like this and also we dont deserve any of that so this is#for the best. and i just have to sit here like ok ! bc if i seek out friendships that part shuts it all down and if i dont the other part#makes me feel miserable and lonely. like damn i am destined for misery. but whatever. it doesnt rly matter DHRNFJFN im just being whiny#it just feels like i need like. ok this is my abdicating responsibility and is the reason i dont have friends disclaimer. i know that. very#aware. but i like. i need somebody to be the one to reach out to Me bc i like. i cant reach out to ppl like. i cant Try to initiate#conversations . but i think if there was a person who like. initiated conversations w me and started a friendship with me i like. i think#itd help me get used to Having a friend again and then id like. id be better at maintaining it and eventually id be able to pick up th#weight. but Obviously nobody wants to like. put in all that effort for somebody whos incapable of returning the favor possibly ever. yk#i need to just bite the bullet and humiliate myself and reach out even if its embarassing and even if it makes me have to throw up#<- happened one time when i tried to talk to someone new. which is so. oh my god. there r ppl who have avtual fucking issues and then im#just like boohoo i tried to think abt a conversation starter and got so anxious i fucking threw up. GOD. i hateit i hate it i hate it. but#wtvr. ik i cant actually expect that from anybody basically like. ik its a stupid wish. idk. i just wish i had somebody who could help me#like. remember how to mask and how to socialize Like a real person. and wouldnt mind that im like. weird right now. and would be willing to#talk to me until i got normal and stuff. wtvr. idk ... 10000 lashings
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sundial-bee-scribbles · 2 years ago
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Yeah like what’s the point of even having anon features if they can’t use your website?????? Like on certain blogs I can’t even view them without being blocked????? I don’t understand????
And I can’t talk to people if they don’t have a submission box which is awkward because not many people have a submission box that I can see! -🌟
══════════════════ 
well the blog thing is most likely that some people have set it to not be visible outside the tumblr dashboard; some people just don’t want their blog viewable to anyone outside of tumblr and there’s a number of reasons why that could be, it’s their own personal decision
the submission/ask box thing can sometimes be a case i know of new users forgetting to turn it on, but sometimes too its deliberately turned off (or limited, like anons being turned off and only other users can ask qs) for, again, a number of different reasons (︶︿︶)
#submission#i forgot to answer this one sorry#the askbox being disabled entirely now if you dont have an acc is so so shitty tho ugh#also cause in general asks are the more popular thing i dont really know too many people who even remember the submission box exists#maybe ive been here too long. idk not that long but even before having an acc i was familiar w/ how the site worked and memes and such#i def get the frustration but there are valid reasons why some people limit who can contact them/view their stuff#that also being said though it is really shitty that modern internetscape basically forces you to make accs you might never use just to#view things or save images or whatever. in some cases i definitely do get why they do that#but like for newspaper sites lets say thats really fcking annoying. can i not know wtf is happening without paying up so much bruh#this is also a random nitpick but i HATE the new tumblr.com/(blogname) compared to the old (blogname).tumblr.com#ik new users might have no idea that you are able to turn that off and get ur own custom domain. but like its so annoying how this is forced#they butchered the link sharing stuff too its fucking hell if i wanna send tumblr links on mobile now. so annoying ugh#if anything age of website managements fcking shit up when it was fine before and legit nobody asked for change. its just like that sometime#sorry for randomly ranting and kinda negative vibes??? ill get to the playlist thing later again sorry its taking a while 😭#ollie the star anon
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youreverydayfangirl · 1 month ago
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BAD BLOOD
pairing: max verstappen x singer reader
summary: the one where a private phone call gets leaked, no one gets the full picture and people are quick to judge
warning: online hate, mentions of cheating
a/n: after two months its finally here for you guys
face claim: sabrina carpenter (just had to because shes gorgeous)
f1 masterlist
main masterilst
series masterlist
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yourusername has posted
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liked by alexandrasaintmleux, francisca.cgomes and 1, 485, 921 others
yourusername SUPRISE!!! I struggled to keep this secret but now i can announce it. the bad blood mv is out now with some very familiar faces
tagged: oliviarodrigo
alexandrasaintmleux AHHHH MY BEAUTIFUL BEST FRIEND
-> yourusername SAYSS YOUUUU
francisca.cgomes I STILL CANT BELIEVE I WAS IN A MUSIC VIDEO
-> yourusername ANYTHING FOR YOU QUEEN
oliviarodrigo is this what we call a slay?
-> yourusername you know it sweet thing
chappellroan IM OBSESSED WITH YOU
liked by creator
milliebobbibrown ICONIC MV
liked by creator
leahsavajeffries I WAS IN THIS
-> yourusername YEAH YOU WERE
user1 MOST ICONIC MV OF ALL TIME
user2 LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, HER
user3 anyone find it weird that exbsf wasn't in it
-> user4 I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING LIKE WHAT
-> user5 go touch grass people grow and change and no ones seen them together for like months now
y/ngossip
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liked by exbsf and 31, 859 others
y/ngossip SPOTTED! yourusername and landonorris in what looks like a very heated public exchange, could this be the end?
user1 tagging them is so messy 😭
-> user2 RIGHT
user3 NOT MY PARENTS
user4 whatever happened IK its y/ns fault
user5 not exbsf liking this 👀
-> user6 RIGHT
user7 idk what anyone says exbsf liking this speaks SIDES
-> user8 right cause she wouldn't like it if y/n hadn't done anything wrong
-> user9 this is such a bold accusation to make
user10 exbsf TELL US YOUR SECRETS
user11 THEY WERE TOGETHER FOR FIVE YEARS OMG 😭
--------------------------------------
THE PHONE CALL
a few months prior - during a conversation
Ex Bsf: Can you just support me for once instead of making it about you
Y/n: Support you? You cheated on Jacob how can I support you Ex Bsf
Ex Bsf: By being my friend instead of being all high and mighty
Y/n: I'm sorry Ex bsf but its true and I don't know if I can support you with this
Ex Bsf: What would you say if it was you who cheated on Lando
Y/n: Hypothetically, I say I cheated on Lando and be upfront with him
Ex Bsf: So have you cheated on Lando
Y/n: Of course not, I love him so much and he means to much to me, I don't ever wanna lose him
Ex Bsf: If you did ever, your gonna own up to it right
Y/n: Yeah of course I have to, but this isn't about me
Ex Bsf: Well you kinda did make it about you
Y/n: No I didn't, You asked me about it Ex Bsf
--------------------------------------
yourusername has posted
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Liked by alexandrasaintmleux, francisca.cgomes and 11, 274, 964 others
yourusername and that marks the end of the wonderland tour! i can't believe everything that has happened over these past couple of months and i am so grateful for all the support i received from you guys over the past couple of months. stay tuned guys and ill see you at the grammys 👀
alexandrasaintmleux obsessed with you omggg
francisca.cgomes grammys this year are going to pop off
user1 SHES STUNNING STOP
user2 NEW MUSICC???
user3 girl we saw the article....
-> user4 what article????
-> user3 she cheated on lando
-> user5 WHAT
-> user6 source???
-> user7 theirs legit a voice recording of her and exbsf
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Y/N L/N AND LANDO NORRIS SPLIT
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Yes. You heard us right.
Fan favourite f1 couple, superstar WAG Y/n L/n and Lando Norris have reportedly split after L/n cheated on him. A leaked phone call between L/n and a third party has been leaked.
AUDIO RECORDING HERE
Transcript
Y/n: I cheated on Lando
Ex Bsf: You cheated on Lando
Y/n: Of course, I love him so much and he means to much to me, I don't ever wanna lose him
Ex Bsf: Your gonna own up to it right
Y/n: Yeah of course I have to
CLICK HERE TO READ MORE
----------------------------
yourusername has posted
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liked by alexandrasaintmleux, francisca.cgomes and 1, 293, 950 others
yourusername 3 GRAMMYS!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! TYSM GUYS FOR ALL OF THE SUPPORT AND FOR TAKING WONDERLAND AND TURNING IT INTO SOMETHING ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL, WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS HOW AMAZED AND GRATEFUL I AM..........
alexandrasaintmleux WELL DESERVED
liked by creator
francisca.cgomes YAYAYAYAY OMMGGGGGG
liked by creator
user1 i used to have so much respect for you
user2 i can't believe u cheated so dissapointing
user3 your setting such a bad example for you younger fans...
user4 CANCEL Y/N
-> user5 yep #cancely/n #y/nisoverparty
-> user6 #y/nisoverparty
-> user7 #y/nisoverparty
-> user8 #y/nisoverparty
-> user9 #y/nisoverparty
-> user10 #y/nisoverparty
user11 🐍🐍🐍
user12 #y/nisoverparty
user13 🐍🐍🐍
user14 Ex/bsf deserves better
-> user15 her and lando should get together tbh
--------------------------------
Hi guys, i'm really sorry i am going to start posting more often but things have just been really busy as im starting grade 12 work which is insanely dissicult and family drama has been going on and i've been working on writing a book which is pretty exciting
anyways i will try to post more often - maybe once everyweekend or second weekend
------------------------
taglist:
@lyannesworld
@pippyth3hippy
@scorpiomindfuck
@syddddddddddddd
@paigem00
@toldyouitwasamelodrama
@lilsiz
@chelle1306
@sired4urmama
@stinkyjax
@kiyomisan
@hotgirlslikemax
@itsjustkhaos
@sid-is-gr8
@mastermindbaby
@akkklys
@reidsworld
@tall-tanned-tattoo
@mrsmaybank24
@m1892
@taliya8346282844eliviahdgdajs
@midnights-lily
@skynel09
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sweetteainthesummerx · 6 months ago
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THE LOVE LASTS SO LONG (9)
In which Aubrey gets interviewed...
series masterlist
★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★
ellemagazine posted
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ellemagazine Our June edition features Aubrey Yang on her directing debut, the trajectory of her career and new friends in Formula One. Full article linked in bio.
tagged: aubreyyang
liked by formula1, olliebearman, mckennagraceful and 80,944 others
view all comments
user1 ON MY HANDS AND KNEES BARK BARK SHES SO FINE
aubreyyang thank you for having me Elle! always a blast 💋
-- aubberieloverss MOTHERRR
dior.n.goodjohn ILY UR SO BEAUTIFUL AND ETHERAL
-- aubreyyang stawpp ur making me blush
formula1 thank you for the shout out! hope to see you in the Ferrari paddocks soon 🏎️
liked by aubreyyang
-- f1wagsupdates BAHAHA f1 admin ur brave for that one
lilymhe prettiest girl
-- aubreyyang me and dior miss u tons! can't wait to see u soon
mvertsppdudu can ollie fight ill catch him in the paddocks
ELLE MAGAZINE
NEW ISSUE
INTERVIEW WITH AUBREY YANG
Aubrey Yang, the multi-faceted actress debuts her talent and grit for directing and screenwriting in her short film Pelt, winning the Best Screenplay and a notable nominee for the Best Film during London Film week. Since we've last seen her at Elle New York, she has turned 18, nearing 19 now, and made some drastic changes to her life.
Since her film, Yang has not been in any other production as talent, but teases us with a new project "that's coming soon, don't worry". She adores her new found love for being a creative, and is scouting to get her hands on more projects in Hollywood on that side of the camera.
Her studies continue at New York University and she is set to graduate early, next year. When asked about her ability to balance school and work, she smiles knowingly and tells us that "it's important to take breaks, but more importantly, I've chosen things I love to do".
During these breaks, Yang is often seen with fellow young actress Dior Goodjohn and international pop sensation Olivia Rodrigo. But 18 has brought a new hobby: Formula One.
"I met Lily [Muni He] and Alex [Albon] at a gala, and we hit it off. They're like my parents" she answers adoringly. She has been seen multiple times in both the Williams and Ferrari garages visiting with fans and learning about the mechanics of racing.
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"I've met some wonderful people; I never really got to be a regular teenager because I was working and going to university early. They've really helped teach me about having fun and letting loose."
Next year when we inevitably feature her lovely face again, we'll see the new changes to her life.
MESSAGES
ollie
I read ur article it was great
sad I didn't get a shout out tho :(
aubrey
sorry boo
PROMISE TO GIVE YOU ONE NEXT YEARR
ollie
okay :)
anyways r we still on for the trip?
aubrey
yes mr. bearman
ollie
I was thinking Charles and Alex might want to go w us
aubrey
YESSS MY FAV MONAGESQUES
ollie
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gotta go but talk later? ☺️
aubrey
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kk cya bearman
ollie
bye yang :)
MESSAGES
alex 🖼️
cou cou chérie!
(hey dear)
aubrey 🎬
AHH ALEX J'avais l'intention de t'envoyer un texto ! On part en voyage en Europe ?
(I was meaning to text you, are we on for the Europe trip?)
alex 🖼️
yes but I have smth to ask
aubrey 🎬
um not the English what's wrong
alex 🖼️
DO U LIKE OLLIE
aubrey 🎬
UM BYE WHY
alex 🖼️
bc I have to watch him text u and its dégoûtant
(disgusting)
aubrey 🎬
bro idk
dior thinks we like each other
its just hes becoming such a good friend
he makes me smile
and hes so sweet and kind and gentle
hes not like any other guy ik
alex 🖼️
its going to be such a long trip 😔
aubreyyang posted on their story
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olliebearman replied to your story
cute 😊
aubreyyang
ikr shes my cousins baby
olliebearman
oh
very cute
wanna play 9 ball on message
aubreyyang
YOURE ON
bearyfast_04 posted
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bearyfast_04 I think im ready to be a father
liked by alexandrasaintmleux, leosdad and 10 others
leosdad fatherhood is hard
-- landoakabob u have a dog
-- leosdad u take that back hes my son
pastryboy SIR U ARE 21 WDYM CHILDREN
-- bearyfast_04 but look at her 🥰
-- arthuranddw another fallen soldier
★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★
Taglist: @callsignwidow @iloveyou3000morgan @honethatty12 @taygrls
© sweetteainthesummerx.tumblr. all rights reserved. unauthorized copying, translation, or claiming of my writing or any works as your own is strictly prohibited.
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strawberrystealer · 2 years ago
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Bungo Stray Dogs- What I think they’d do if someone kidnapped you
Characters: Fyodor, Nikolai, Sigma, and Akutagawa
For some reason I think about this a lot sooo why not write about it!
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Fyodor- 
Angry, upset, annoyed, all of those would be understatements
The pure rage that would fill this mans body once he gets the news-
If he saw like a letter or something thats like “Ayo we got ur bae come get them or they die lmaooo #livelaughlove” But a lot more sinister and stuff he’d go straight there and uhhh
Basically kill everyone there using his ability of course
He’d be so quick about it too, like drop everything he was doing and go straight there
Once he’s at the place in like the span of a few seconds everyone’s already dead and he goes over to you and idk takes off your blind fold or whatever they have on you
He becomes the softest man you’ve ever seen just for that moment cuz he doesn’t know what you’ve been through and he doesn’t want to cause you anymore pain
Once you two get home he’ll run a bath for you or something and stay by your side
He’ll make sure no one ever touches you again, he can’t ever risk losing you.
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Nikolai- 
I bet he’d be like coming home all cheerful, ready to come mess with you or something and... you’re not on the couch.
Not in your room, the bathroom, anywhere
The smile immediately drops from his face and he gets worried
But then again he probably does this all the time so he texts you and you don’t respond??
Now he’s 10 times more worried than he was before!
Probably not a lot tho cuz he probably knows where you are
If thats the case then he just goes the the location and pays you a lil visit
Knocks on the door like a gentleman ofc 
But when they open it-
BOOM
“QUIZ TIME!!! Where’s my lovely little s/o?? Can you guess??” And he looks over and sees you inside the house.
Then he’d immediately kill move the kind gentleman into a burning fire! So sweet ik
He’d get to you and ofc be worried but once he finds out you’re okay he’ll be fine and back to his normal goofy self 
Unless you want the more realistic take where he cant stop thinking about it and thinks its his fault for weeks but is also trying to rid himself of emotions so ofc he cant be scared or guilty so he’s constantly battling himself on whether or not its his fault and if you still even like you because he might not have been there just in time to save you.
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Sigma- 
He’d be so unbelievably worried 
He wouldn’t know who did it, why, how, or anything and he’d be just as confused as you probably are 
He’d probably have to ask for help, contemplate calling the cops but then realizes hes fr a terrorist he cant do that-
So he asks Fyodor for help and after a bit of pleading Fyodor gives him the location of where you and your abductor are
Once Sigma gets there, with some guns he’s probably scared to use, he sees the man that kidnapped you
Its gonna be like “if you give me ur casino ill give u your s/o” type of shit (super unrealistic but its all I can think of rn)
So obviously ur man isnt having that and shoots him
I mean he had no problem shooting that red haired girl (whatever her name is in the hunting dogs) so he probably wouldn’t have a problem killing some weak guy to get his lover back
Once he gets you safe he’ll keep asking if you’re okay alllll the time just because he’s so scared
“Darling are you sure you’re okay?? He seemed really scary... he didn’t hurt you did he? Do you need any bandages?”
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Akutagawa- 
He looks completely unfazed
Like he’ll read some letter telling him to come get you or you die and be like “...Ugh not this again” 
He will get you though
And he is slightly scared but not really because he knows you’ll be fine once he gets you
When he gets to the place he doesn’t even knock on the door
He just punches a big ass hole in it with his ability and goes through it 
Also kills your abductor<3
Once he gets you he’s quiet
He’ll lightly hug you, glad your alive and the drive home will be silent
He’s considering weather he should be all “you’re so weak how’d you even get kidnapped” or “are you okay? ... He didn’t do any physical abuse to you, correct?” But both of them sound weird to him so he’s silent
When you get home he’ll prepare anything you wish
Tea? Dinner? Blankets? Anything, he’ll do for you
He does love you and he was very worried its just he has a poor way of showing it, thats all :)
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mikalame · 1 year ago
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On live
you and tom, its like set in 2023, no hate to heidi but you and tom are married you are back up singer for bill in the band 
Tags:@violentnewmarley @oppopotamus
You place your phone down on the coffee table a vase holding it up write as you sip on your tea you just made you glace and some of the questions beings shown on the screen and most of them talking about where tom was you intentionally ignored it until bill asked where he was and when is “lazy bone ass” would get up little did bill know you and tom where getting into a bit of a heated make out sesh before bill started spamming you say shit like how you two need to come on and how the people need to see ALL of tokio hotel even tho gustav is never on/online.
 “I am here ladys and gentlemen” tom says in a sing-song tone a complete difrent contrast from before when he was groaning about having to do another live. He slides beside you and moves his arm to be around you neck resting his hand on your opposite shoulder he answers a couple questions and gentely sqeezes your shoulder you look at him and his eyes greet your then look down you follow his eyes and see hes looking and his harden crotch (idk what else word to use ) his eyes flick back up to the camera as not to draw attention to the problem he has, you look back at the camera aswell but slowly move you hand closest to him to slowly palm him through his sweats. After as few miniutes you inch your fingers closer to his waist band grabing both his sweats and boxers and try to pull them down tom fakes and streach and lifts his hips a little bit just enough to get his pants down but not enough for the camera to see his goods.
You look at him as a silent way to ask if he was okay with you doing this and he look as ready as anyone could be for this activity his eyes swimming full of lust you grab him and slowly pump him uo and down tom still talking to the other members and gustav and georg kindly joing the live so tom being more quiet is not as noticed. You spread around his pre-cum around his cock and stroke him faster and see toms breathing speeds up and his hand shake a little bit his hand go to the simble for the filters and he swipes giving him new fliters every second you giggle at some of the funny ones so you didnt look too distracted by what you were doing with your hands. 
You had been doing this for a while now you two had almost been caught when bill had to repeat to tom a question, when tom did answer the first noise he had made was a groan before quickly saying what bill wanted to hear “what was that groan from tom aye” georg raising and eyebrow with a questioning look in his eyes “oh just feeing a bit ill georg no need to get worryed over little ole me” tom says ending the sentence with a chuckle hiding his groan as his cock throbs more frequently sending a message that he was close to cumming . He leans forward and places his hand over his mouth to muffle the groans that are getting louder you stroke harder and tighter going faster you hear a loud groan come from tom and you down to see cum leaking out and lading on the sides of the table and on his sweats you look at toms face and see his eyebrows knitted together and jaw clenched tightly. You look at the screen sending a look off pity to them for tom “___ is tom algs” bill asked “yeah, i think he really not feeling well so sorry that we have to end the live on our part, i feel like tom wouldnt be to happy to see edits of his vomiting over the camera” you chuckle before exiting the live 
“Jesus christ, how did we pull that off” tom says panting between breaths trying ti even out his breathing “yeah ik i think georg might of caught on thank god he didnt say anything else tho” you giggle at toms exspression “we should do that again” you say thinking bout it in your “yeah, sure your the one that gonna cum tho i dont think i can do that again” tom sighs with a smile on his lips. 
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listleven · 2 months ago
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Using LOA with love
(and pateince+persistence)
FIRST BLOG!
Hi LOA Tumblr! I am frankly new to this community but have seen enough to know over consuming is not what I should be doing. Im here to show my journey in manifesting my ideal reality, using the list method, SAT's, and whatever else I can say I might use meditations but I don't know yet(I have a invasive family, I dont want them to catch me doing that 😭) I will post what subs I will use. Most of all I know I have it now soooo. Ive seen enough of post's yelling at me bc Im paying attention to the 3d or telling me once again about LOA. Im still in a partial learning faze so I might use this blog to ask questions, but mostly Im going to start applying and this blog is for everyone who is as well. Basically for reminding everyone we are in our desired realities/have our desires! I've had loads of success with LOA so it is real and very much inevitable. Anyway here are some stuff in my list of everything in my ideal life (which is from now on my actual life) I will be posting the results but technically I already have it so yeah.
-I never study for anything but when I get a test or question on it I answer correctly without fail
-I always get straight As
-I only affirm once to manifest instantly
-I am the void every time I count down from 5
-My 3c hair looks exactly like the Pinterest curly hair, even though I don't put any effort into it, I literally just wash my hair and leave it alone, its so easy to do.
-Every godsend beautiful fanfic I've read in AO3 that's been left unfinished now has an ending and its so good 😩
-I can speak, read, write any language I want perfectly
-I shift instantly with just one affirmation
-Im really good at dancing and singing
-I don't have to use the toilet anymore (its so annoying ill drink one glass of water and boom)
-My favorite show isn't poorly written and is actually really good (guess which one, It really has so much potential and its actually my biggest object of love I have to save it )
Besides my hair being effortlessly good Im not touching my physical appearance bc Ive always been very pretty and skinny but that doesn't mean its "harder" to manifest and if you want to go for it its your reality you deserve to feel good about yourself. Up till now my life has been messed up by older men, my mom, school, and religion but no more of that! Now I have everything in my list and I'm living my most ideal life! Feel free to send asks and DM me to vent or whatever. IK a lot of people don't like that but I personally find it easier to talk to online strangers and dont mind at all.
Im also very curios about lucid dreaming I might update on that too, idk ksksk, Anyway,
~ With Love, you can call me, Jyspire
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asteroidzzzn · 1 year ago
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more than just a dream - 005, 6am
pairing: college!ellie x reader
synopsis: you transfer to a new school where you only know one person; your childhood best friend. he invited you to a beginning of the year party to meet some new people, but one person, in particular, catches your eye... his other best friend.
a/n: HALLOWEENNNNNN
genre: social media au, fluff
series masterlist -- previous chapter -- next chapter
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bria 🧚
HI WHAT COSTUMES R U ALL WEARING TO THE HALLOWEEN PARTY
jesseee 😙😙
hot dog with mustard
y/n
hot dog with ketchup
jesseee 😙😙
hehehehehe
y/n
hehehehe
bria 🧚
😭 anyone else besides those 2 answer pls....
dina
im gonna be ghostface !!
bria 🧚 ❤️ a message
bria 🧚
i love that omg
what ab u ellie?
ellie
eh idk i dont feel like dressing up
bria 🧚
BOOO boring tomatoes tomatoes
dina ❤️ a message
jesseee 😙😙 ❤️ a message
y/n ❤️ a message
ellie
HELP EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU GANGING UP ON ME/??!
y/n
come on u literally have to wear SOMETHING
its HALLOWEEN
jesseee 😙😙
yk who u kinda look like
pennywise
y/n ❤️ a message
ellie
YOU ARE A SICK MAN
ellie left the groupchat
jesseee 😙😙 added ellie to the groupchat
jesseee 😙😙
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ellie
??!?!?!
dina
HELP MEE
ellie if u dress up as pennywise ill actually pay u
ellie
how much r we talking ab......
dina
$20
bria 🧚 ❤️ a message
bria 🧚
PLEASE YOU HAVE TO
ellie
oh i will
$20 is $20
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dina 💋
hi do u know where y/n is? she spammed me a few minutes ago but i was talking to bria but now i cant find her anywhere
ellie
shes ob the table
singing and dacnging
ik shes wearung a hot dog costuke but she looks hotrn
so hot omh
dina 💋
oh ok so ur very drunk rn
ik shes wearung a hot dog costuke but she looks hotrn ur GONNEEE LMFAO i wont let u forget u said this
focus focus we'll talk later thank you ill go find her
ellie
mmkkhkkk cya
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jesseee 😙😙
do ygs know where y/n is
i havent seen her since the party last night and its 6 am already
bria 🧚
im with her rn i had to take her to the hospital
she fell off a table and broke her wrist
jesseee 😙😙
oh my god
ellie
holy shit is she ok?
dina
aw poor girl :(
bria 🧚
holy shit is she ok? yeah she will be
shes honestly more upset she didnt get to see u in ur pennywise costume...
ellie
oh thank GOD she didn't
i looked ridiculous
dina
ok miss 'idc what she thinks ab me'
ellie
dina this isnt the gc with just us and jesse
bria 🧚
uh is there something i dont know
ellie
oml no theres nothing just forget it
dina
oh shit
im sorry
dina deleted 6 messages
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a/n; this is my version of a cliffhanger.. also i just realized this is the halfway point in this series and they havent even realized they like each other...... LMFAOOO
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i enjoy slowburns a lot actually if u couldnt tell
it will get more interesting soon tho pROMISE
taglist: @ximtiredx @gold-dustwomxn @elliesinterlude @fireflyels @trulygnomed @deluluwh-0-re @elliewilliamsmissingfingerss @emluvselandabs @ariianelle @jokerpokimoon @lonelyfooryouonly @lil-elliesgf @yuaaa05 @ourautumn86 @ucannotcompare
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phagodyke · 6 months ago
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so sweaty at work its actually revolting
#ambient in my lab is 30c at the mo..its abt 26 in the main lab but i have a smaller/less ventilated space#and i had a water bath on at 90c + incubator 55c. cant use a fan bc im working with respiratory sensitisers so dust inhalation risk#AND full ppe (long sleeve trousers closed toe shoes thick full length long sleeve labcoat p6 mask goggles hairnet nitrile gloves)#fortunately im done with the hands on stuff for the next 2 hours so i can prop the door open and put the fan on now#but when i took my ppe off my shirt was straight up fucking wet. not even just underarm sweat patches but the front + back too. YUCK!#good thing i anticipated this + picked out a v light/breathable outfit today but really i shouldve brought a whole change of clothes#and still no word abt when theyre putting the fucking aircon on. they said it MIGHT be later this week but no promises#not that itd help in my lab bc they didnt install a unit in there anyway..... we dont have the spaaaace#ik the reason theyve been so reluctant to install aircon is bc they have a new plot where theyre gonna remodel + build a new lab#so like in idk 2 yrs time this lab will be shut down and if im still working w them ill get a big shiny new application lab. WITH air con#separate from the main lab + installed w all the equipment we actually need so i dont have to run between both labs and canteen constantly#but whether ill still be here in 2 years... well its a big if. pay + benefits r good + i like the work + generally good environment#but there are many other labs in the world... some of which probably already have air con. and id like to work w plants again eventually#cuz my degree was in biology specialising in plant sci. not food/biochem (<- industry im in rn)#anyway. at least its taken my mind off how tired i am..... im gonna take a snack + water break and then i have some admin to do#happy wet beast wednesday everyone#.diaries
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nomaishuttle · 1 year ago
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Why r they like 80 dollars.. whatever itll be a housewarming gift to myself
when i mov eout im gonna buy one of those anatomical skeletons and im gonna name him heironymous and hes gonna be my roommate
#im trying t think of all the furniture i need...#i think when i get homeee well. my goals 4 today is 1. shower most importantni cant until 8 but i need to fucking shower i feel grody and#im so sick of letting myself be scared of his room#and umm 2 i need to make my new Journalling spreadsheet which im excited for... and then im going to make a points system to make finding#an apt easier#and j alsoo need to do more credit card research 😭 i like . vaguely understand jit but im having a lot of trouble likre. avtually picking#a credit card bc my banking app. Girl navy federal needs to fix their entire shit.. i can access it kn clmputer but its so overwhelming and#idk what im supposed to look for 😭😭 credit scores r so demonic like. i hate that i Have to get a credit card basicalyl to be allowed to#get an apt . i think i cn be responsible with money When im watching myself closely . looks at my history with gacha games#but when moneys tight i can be rly rly rly responsible basically. and im getting pretty good at saving...#so yes. i need 2 get a credit card n then i cn use that for my grocery orders and stuff.. ill have to check the actual umm amount so that i#know what percentage of it i should use... and obviously ik the Dont spend it if you dont have it rule dw ill be keeping that sm in mind#im hoping since itll be Through navy federal theyll be able to just automatically pay off the credit card ?? idrk how that works 😭😭#worst case scenario ill judt get in the habit of checking in on it 2 be safe...#aughh. if anybody has any tips for choosing a first credit card thatd be rly helpful 😭😭 im afraid i wont be able to build up a good#score in time so its all very scary..#ik i could just umm. i think when you rent from homeowners credit score isnt as important usually#but 1. Horror stories from my mom 2. the whole fiasco with the one place we were gonna rent so id rly rather rent through like. an#established company... ykwim#idk. obviously companies r Also evil but 😭😭 also the more likee. corporate apartment complexes have a lot of benefits thatd be rlyhelpful#mainly gyms bc i wanna start going to the gym... and rheyre free for resirents so im like Looks
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novaazurite · 2 days ago
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Making my grand return after 3 weeks of inactivity! (Though I may not be active all the time) Lets talk about TPOT 14!
While I did enjoy this episode a lot, the only downside I have with it is how it was a little too fast paced, I can handle that for BFDIA, but I think knowing how TPOT usually is maybe it was a little offputting, I might need to do a rewatch, but I remember a lot from the episode so im still goin with this post.
So with that said...lets start the ramble session!
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So I just want to point out how Pencil is clearly living in the past on how obsessed she is to desprately reform FreeSmart by getting Book and Ice Cube, idk why it just feels funny and weird, you can clearly tell how uncomfortable they were in this and last episode that they want nothing to do with her, whatever the hell she did to them in IDFB (im still having thoughts the 'FreeSmart downfall' is gonna hppen in IDFB with Match being the first to leave the LOL.)
Ill admit the shot of the new TCOA was pretty cool, I like it when they implement 3d things into BFDI
Now... onto the CAS. I freaked out so bad in vc when I saw Pin and Ice Cube safe, ik Taggy and Book was gonna be safe so i didnt worry, but felt like Pin was in danger because she couldnt do much being stuck to Gaty, I thought Icy was gonna be out because she was used just to try and kill the fish monster, she couldnt really do much. But OH MY GOD.
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I FUCKING GOT IT RIGHT. FOR A WHILE I HAD A FEELING ERASER AND GATY WAS GONNA BE OUT. Ill be honest Eraser didnt have much going on anymore because of Teardrop being eliminated in TPOT 9, so what else did he have left? I dont know exactly, I really had expected him getting out. Now TREE? I didnt expect him to be in the bottom 2, I thought he would be third to last safe, Pin and Gaty being bottom two because both of them didnt do much but be stabbed and used as a weapon by Robot Flower. As much as I love Gaty, I had a feeling she was gonna be out, and finding out I was right about her and Eraser being out made me insanely shocked. The first time I ever got a TPOT prediction right, though I thought One was gonna immediately snatch them up soon after, but good thing Book took notice of it and try to have and her, alongside Pin try to keep Gaty safe. While the others threw Eraser around basically.
Now im glad we got to see the elimination space again, and seeing the others are trying to escape, Fries and Puffball trying to break what seems to be a barrier? Also I noticed Saw, Nickel and Coiny are not there, ik they arent snatched by One but maybe theyre somewhere?
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This genuinely made me sad, I had a really good feeling Two was gonna be upset about Gaty being out, I was definetly aware they couldnt bring themself to send her to the elimination space knowing how close she is to them, I didnt expect them to send her to kitchen, however, seeing the scene of One staring at her makes me feel like Two should had sent her there, Gaty is at risk of being snatched, which is gonna upset them even more or hell, send them into a panic, from what ive seen, they seem to brush off the fact Bell/Bomby/Barf Bag/Needle are missing, but what happens if Gaty disappears? Will they try to keep running the show? Theres a lot of predictions you can go off from.
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I just wanna show this screenshot its so funny that Taggy is just staring at Book like this 😭😭😭
Glad to see Firey Jr again!
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Its funny how DPYA tried to do the same thing from last episode trying to defeat that venus flytrap(?), like sure that would totally work again.
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Kind of like how Pin thought doing this again was gonna work in BFDIA 15, LOL.
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Closing out my post on the post credits scene, I kind of wonder where the other exitors went. I completely freaked out seeing Match end up in the Pillary Ruins, and this shot here is so cool like.... Knowing last episode we saw Firey and Leafy, are we gonna see more of the BFB contestants again? I wonder what they will have for the plot in future episodes...
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And something tells me FreeSmart may reform again, knowing Match is with Ruby and Bubble, and apparently Pencil trying to get Ice Cube and Book back, though its not gonna happen.
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okifyouinsist · 1 month ago
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tagged by @killerandhealerqueen (i just keep forgetting abt this one SIGH but i have free time rn and im committed)
1. why did you choose your url?
growing up, i just wasn't a social media girl purely bc of the fact that my parents were super strict and I assumed they wouldn't allow me to have it and I just never really saw the appeal anyways. Then later a few friends basically forced me to make my first account and because i wasn't very creative and thought i was the funniest bitch ever i made my first user 'ifyouinsist' and it just kinda stuck ig
2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.
nope. i fear if i had a sideblog id end up neglecting it and forget abt it or make it my new main blog and neglect this blog and this blog is literally my baby
3. how long have you been on tumblr?
well i've had an account since like end of 2019, beginning of 2020???? (im pretty sure) i didnt like use my account tho i just had it to look at other ppls blogs not my own, i only acc recently made up my blog up properly and started posting this year when it was like 2 am and i was on holiday to visit my home country and my mum and my aunts were gossiping and i was like whatever who tf cares how late i am to a fandom and the rest was history
4. do you have a queue tag?
nope, my drafts are a terrifying place and if they ever saw light id die
5. why did you start your blog in the first place?
to reblog pretty art and to compliment writers on ao3 AND on tumblr bc they deserve everything and more
6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?
logan sargeant. need i say any more???? hes my bsf in spirit
7. why did you choose your header?
loscar. LOSCAR. loscar. i am very much totally normal abt them i swear (lying through my teeth rn). they're just my everything unfortunately and sometimes i like to say the fist bump is their version of intertwining their fingers together
8. what’s your post with the most notes?
ik this bc it was the first i myself made and it was abt loscar obviously and i thought i was SO funny (im not) and its lowk still such a flop post but its MY flop post so here it is :)
9. how many mutuals do you have?
idk man im shy (scared of rejection) so i dont have a lot, like genuinely let me go see acc, oh ig its me and my 14 moots against the world i love you guys fr
10. how many followers do you have?
BYE my 26 followers are my 4 lifers fr (im such a flop this is hilarious)
11. how many people do you follow?
37 (sigh need to follow more ppl RN)
12. have you ever made a shitpost?
im gonna be so real idk what defines as a shit post but most probably yeah
13. how often do you use tumblr each day?
idk im acc really inconsistent like ill be MIA for 2 whole days and the next week ill be on tumblr like for most of my day when i can its very confusing like today ive not been on it a lot im academically locking in and all that
14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?
ummm no. like. if i see someone i follow getting hate ill send them a supportive ask and then at the end of it be like anon ur such a loser get a life but other than that. nope.
15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?
im very much neutral abt them, like idc if i need to reblog it yk if i want to i will if i dont then i wont
16. do you like tag games?
YES (said in a very normal voice)
17. do you like ask games
YES. i love getting asks id cry if someone sent an ask (i have one rotting away from a moot rn i WILL answer it i swear)
18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?
can i say all my moots. i wanna say all my moots they're all famous in my eyes guys, i start tagging its gonna end with all my moots being tagged but like @killerandhealerqueen and @dwarvenchords were the first 2 ppl to come to my mind theyre both just the coolest fr
19. do you have a crush on a mutual?
nah. i have FRIEND crushes on literally all of them tho. wanna be their friends SO bad
20. what is the last song you listened to?
Mamichula- Bizarrap
21. what are you currently watching?
in my docuseries era rn watching breakpoint (STILL)(i only have time on the weekends rn SIGH)
22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy?
sweet. im such a 'lets skip the dinner and just get dessert' kinda girl
23. what is your current relationship status?
this is SUCH a complicated question to answer but heavily leaning more towards single
24. what is your current obsession?
sports. like just sports in general. like ive always been a casual fan of sports but i never used to take a deep dive into it but this year i decided to dive, and i dived VERY deep, so like motorsports, tennis, football, cricket, trying to get into hocky rn im collecting them atp. also. documentaries. like when i get time ill be binge watching like 5 documentaries i just love them sm
25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?
wish i could tell you fr, i mean, rn im re listening to SOUR by Olivia Rodriguez AGAIN bc thats the way my life is going SIGH, Olivia is my favourite basic artist fr, nothing compares to listening to SOUR for the first time in 2021
ANYWAYS, thanks again for the tag i really appreciate it, im gonna tag @ezisregrettinglifedecisions @fabeong @whatssthepooiintt
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