#idk its just very satisfying to me
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some drawings of my favorite guys!!!! i just think theyre neat. love to observe their shenanigans
#i totally dont have a type of character i gravitate towards or anything#that’s craazyyy….why would you ever think thaat………….#i have no defense#this is a pyke and kremy lover household <3#and hopefully soon a shepherd lover one too#ive been working through ep 1 of strahdanya after watching the prologue#i dont know how they played for 9 HOURS#the commitment is crazy#but in a good way#i really enjoy sarnax and victoria too!#their faith is so so interesting to me#and victorias voice and personality are lovely#ALSO#I LOVE THE VOICE NIKKIE DOES FOR STRAHDANYA#and pincushion and bavlorna#idk its just very satisfying to me#i look forward to the party encountering her so i can listen to it more <3#legends of avantris#kremy lecroux#pyke stardust rhapsody#silas shepherd morgan#once upon a witchlight#stardust rhapsody#curse of strahdanya#my art#loa tumblr#loa fanart
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saw someone saying something like "do you really think veilguard story would be better if you could do evil choices?" and actually yeah. i think if they let us act more like the dreadwolf on the "you are a paralellism to the dreadwolf" game, it would be more significant when the story tells you "you are a bit like him/you are nothing like him" because , thats how you chosed to play it.
#like i think the game could be good without the evil choices. but i would like a choice at all tho.#it can be just pragmatical vs idealist it can be about how much would you be able to give or sacrifice#how the game is now when you lose people it feels more like you failed more than you sacrificed them#veilguard critical#also#i can see all his memories and judge him in veilguard#but the thing that really made me be on his shoes#was the inquisition mission In Hushed Whispers#where you wake up in a horrible world and you just want the old one back#da4 spoilers#da4#dragon age#stuff like the emmrich mission i thought it was gonna be a paralelism to solas#of “would you sacrifice your people in order for you to have more power to save others?”#“would you move on from the dead or try to get it back ?” like it worked both ways#there was a moment in game i thought all the companion missions were thematicly connected to the themes of the plot#but idk the themes are there but at the same time there are not idk how to explain it#when varric is like “you are not like solas!!!” doesnt really work for me when its impossible to be like him#it never worked for me when charas in videogame tells you “you are X” for things that you are forced to do in game#and its always a gut punch or very satisfying when you actually chosed to do them#anyways im rambling
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i think dinostar is such an interesting ship right now even if i've kind of turned away from it after this season. the problem is that it's complicated, and fandoms historically don't like nuanced situations or takes. i don't think it's fair to say darius is putting brooklynn on a pedestal, since from his perspective, she hasn't done anything wrong, and kenji has been framed as this unfair partner to her. it does feel like his feelings are very immature and more of an infatuation right now ("if he loved you half as much.."/"unless?"), especially when you compare them to kenji's own feelings for brooklynn - his girlfriend who he's loved for 6 years - but that isn't a horrible thing, it's just different. i do completely understand if people dislike the ship right now, and even criticize darius' way of handling the accidental confession, but i just think people have been way too harsh on all three of them without being willing to see that all of their perspectives are different
#like darius' whole thing this season was his tendency to say or do the wrong thing and make things awkward by complete accident#he's a very awkward person as it is and considering he's also never dealt with romantic feelings before and he didn't even mean to tell her#about them it makes sense that he once again said and did the wrong things while trying to fix it#i'm not going to judge his characterization just yet until we see how he handles his own feelings vs kenji's next season after finding out#she's alive#he was still respectful of her and i doubt after learning more of kenji's side and realizing this man genuinely does still love and miss he#that he would prioritize pursuing her romantically(especially since she already yk.. rejected him and also literally just left them all)#if anything i think the finale putting his feelings about her survival to the side and focusing on how it hurt kenji to see her alive and#leave him kind of indicates that brooklynn's not really going to be much of a love interest for darius after this#which imo as a dinostar enjoyer and professional darius lover i'm actually okay with#slightly off topic but season 2 has made me really appreciate kenlynn on its own because of how tragic and nuanced it is#so i think focusing on them instead is not only a better decision in terms of consistency and storytelling but it's just the more realistic#and satisfying choice right now#and that's not to say i think they'll be perfectly fine or even together again once they're reunited properly#in fact i very much hope she ends up alone and they all get closure from this#and there's always the possibility that later on the show might actually revisit dinostar again#which would be better than them trying to do so now in my opinion#idk this is probably a mess but i've been trying to think about how i felt about this love triangle for awhile and since s2 handled it#completely differently than i thought they would. i feel like it's not going to be that simple#and i just wish fans of all sides would kind of chill out on the characters lmao#jwct#chaos theory#jwct s2 spoilers#brooklynn jwct#jwct season 2 spoilers#dinostar#kenlynn#kenji kon#darius bowman#jurassic world
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i dont have the right kind of mental illness for BBC merlin to actually make this but in my head there's an animatic of hamiltons "satisfied" involving merlin, arthur, and gwen that Haunts Me
#it haunt me#im thinking bout it again cause i got tunes on shuffle and satisfied came on#i love this fucking song#gwen is fucking. eliza.#the trouble is with merlin and arthur because like. it would make sense to have merlin be angeliica bc unrequited love but also not at all#it would be friends not sisters here but like like like#cause angelicas role better suits arthur for the song w/ being 1st born noble but likeeeeeeeeee. him n gwen aren't like.#the way hamilton talks 2 angelica is very merlin 2 arthur I think. could be other way but works best as merlin = hamilton kinda#the goal is fucking. argwen marriage merlin being depressed Just Like Canon Lads#i have like. parts of the song storyboarded in my head#the only thing i can think of is like. fucking. id be switching povs a bunch during the song to make it make sense#like uhh. arthur would be 1st and 2nd reasons. merlin would be 3rd reason.#it would start as merlin switch to arthur when they start talking then back to merlin for 3rd reason#which is WEIRD but thats the only way it would make sense I feel like????????????????????????????????????????/#with merlin its like. idk 1st and 2nd reasons don't work#ive considered doing fuckiing uhh#morgana as angelica and arthur as eliza and mmerlin as hamilton#that WOULD work best but also doesnt quite have vibes I want. i am more of a morgwen girlie idc about mergana#idk the ship names lmao#ALSO arthur would not mak e a good eliza. he is not all sweet and demure and whatever the fuck. so like#i cant win. i cant win but it haunts me sometimes it would be soooooooooooooooooooo#the love triangle drama. it lives in my head i had this idea like a fucking YEAR ago it Haunts Meeeeeeeeeee I can't escape animatic brainro#bbc merlin#i dont even usually post about my merlin bullshit thoughts#but im pullin an all nighter nad also ive lost my sanity I think#its like sinew sinewy sinewy. slipping. strerciing. ougghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#i will now depart tumblr again for multiple weeks. mwah#lilac post
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Yk what actually. I'm sick of staying quiet Conya is a perfectly fine ship. I don't understand why people dislike it so much. In early Ninjago? Sure, back then it wasn't the greatest dynamic and didn't really have much in terms of actually substantive interactions. But people are still casually hating on it and putting it on DNI lists right next to ships like Greenflame like they're comparable and I'm sickkkk of it it's been YEARS!! Their dynamic has grown so much since then!!!! They're on the same level as Braincell for me in terms of ships I really like I think they have a great and interesting dynamic!!!! They're cute together!!!!!! EVEN OUTSIDE OF MUDSHOCK!!!!! RAGHH!!!!!!!!!
#ninjago#conya#cole brookstone#nya smith#nya jiang#I will always personally prefer platonic Conya but their relationship is still so so important to me in a way thats very specific#to me being Aro. Like. Idk. It's not exactly QPR stuff bc I dont think they would ever label anything but that also means that I don't think#they would hate a romantic label either!!!!!! Raghhh!!!!!!!!!! They're friends above everything else though obviously 💯💯 theyve always#got eachothers backs#Also i do prefer Mudshock just because Conya doesn't make sense to me w/o Jay somehow in the mix unless there's some sort of messy breakup#involved. And. Jay would never really take that well and it would sort of just sour the whole group dynamic esp since Cole is Jays bestie#and ALL OF THAT just to get two characters together feels so shallow to me shdjsgd. Like. Idk. None of that crap is worth it the romance#isnt anywhere near necessary for the two. Their bond is unspoken and they're satisfied enough w/ what they are right now even if they could#be smthn else#I just dont like the 'Lets ruin/throw away all of our othe relationships for LOVE 😍😍!! Because for some reason romantic relationships are#automatically more important and deep and mean more to us than any other relationship so its totally worth it every time!!!' it feels so.#like. amatonormative. Yk?#anyways ill shutup now I LOVE THEM!!! I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!!#they make my aro heart really really happy ok. I dont know jow to explain it but i have another post abt them in the conya tag I think
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#my pomme design has changed sm and im still not sure im quite there its just so crowded and I still am not satisfied w it#but I like the opal magical colouring its from unicorn for pierre#the hijab is def a design I really like for pomme but like I want butterfly wings for pomme so the duck wings move up to ear position#but the ears are covered and also wing ears dramatic dragon horns a hijab and then a beret on top of it all like ????#and then I just went crazy cause I wanted the rainbow colors from Bagheras hat and also wanted more etoiles in there#and then I had no idea how to put Antoine in here so for now a lot of red is enough cause like whiskers would've crowded it even more#idek im probably not putting Kameto in there more than there already is w blue cause like he isn't really active at all#and I wouldn't even know where to start w bad#also the reds fucked w me at the end I ended up messing w them a lot cause the red I used for the dress before began looking very orange#but idk she's really cute I put a little creeper face and a little pacman as well not for tazercraft but for pierre and etoiles#okay design rant tangent whatever over#QSMP#qsmp fanart#fanart#qsmp pomme#qsmp eggs#miras art#ps yes the glasses were in fact a last second decision
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I love being a beta reader I'm out here googling things like 'what part of speech is but' and 'hearkens vs harkens what is right' and still feeling like this
#some of this stuff im very confident in and flat out wrong about so good thing I checked...#ultimately all my formal education happened a full decade ago and all my editing is VIBES BASED 😭#like it just FEELS more natural and better to me this way! idk! I'm lucky I remember what a spliced comma is!#so when I make a correction I really struggle to justify it#man...grammar is hard...efficient text communication is hard#I am having fun tho. like I do really enjoy it and it IS satisfying and I do feel like I'm doing good work#I do generally trust my instincts and I feel like I've read enough recently to prop me up#its just sometimes im like...I can't tell you why i think this should be different....it's the vibes....#and sometimes grammar IS stupid and who cares etc.#cor.txt
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probably going to rework my human bellum design again
#surprise surprise im still not satisfied with it but i think i have the base down#might just rework his clothing a liiiiitle and maybe like. give him at least slightly darker skin#he still comes off as edgy or some shit to me. i still want to stick with the violent delinquent sorta angle#i just feel like its a bit much or whatever. he just seems too unremarkable but also too detailed#or something. with the scars all over. maybe its bc i cant picture him v well in the game artstyle? but ive never cared much abt that#tho looking at the comms ive gotten of him. he seems fine. the x on the eyepatch might be a bit much#maybe he can customize it when he materializes it idk and the x is a default. its made of sand when you inspect it#it might also help to write him more. force myself to think abt him in situations#in other news im thinking abt damien possible post ph healing magic. i like the idea i have#i really need to fiure out more defined post ph arcs it does bother me how aimless it is#i know vague stuff but very little specifics. it needs a fucking plot#i do want to keep bellums human form making him look closely related to link. i like that#its funny if nothing else#salty talks#damiens fine hes just a guy he doesnt need anything too fancy. if i think abt it too long my certainty dissolves#wow i love being insecure ablut my ideas. i love rsd. ohhhhhhhhh boyyy#now its a minor vent. w/e. at rhis rate im. gonna start talking abt how my job scheduled me on a shift#with the literal bare minimum number of scheduled workers so if its slightly busy its going to be a living hell#at least i get paid for closing so when closing inevitably takes over an hour bc i have to do it alone im getting paid more#if i wasnt motivated by money itd be so fucking over for me in the workforce
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im so scared of the last episode of the miniseries
#hfjone#i did not go into the miniseries expecting a satisfying ending btw dont get the wrong idea#becsuse thats obviously not what one aims to do but GOD i just want something good to happen to these people#someone theorized its gonna end eith everyone being presumed dead#bc the next episode will likely come out on the 15th#which is a day before the report about liam being presumed dead is issued#and its so plausible and im very scared#because idk if i can handle anymore heartbreak from this series after one 18#anyways my prediction is that the series will end with ava calling her lovely wife (voiced by me)
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ohhh fight club is like GOOD good
#sorry i havent seen it since i was like 13 tbf#and like. don't even know how to unpack the. Interesting. mental health things happening therein#but otherwise damn... guh...... brugh.... aough..... and so on#need to actually read it but going through knowing the twist is like. extra satisfying#it's probably just bc it's my current Thing but im trying to figure out why exactly it shares vibes w d.evilman to me#smth about its flavor of 'world going to shit' i suppose. like the disillusionment stems from a similar place#and i guess some of the.. forgotten identity stuff. if you wanna call it that#theres also a certain amount of overlap in the flavor of plotting ryo and tyler have. somehow#actually that comparison is going to be stuck in my head for a while hold on#not to mischaracterize ryo and his (initial) goals or anything im just saying like.. there's something there#the way they deliver plans. the sort of out there allusions and iffy logic about the world delivered via monologue and the reckless abandon#idk how to explain it and im not doing it WELL but im tonguing that cut on the roof of my mouth. so to speak#also very funny to look at marla and tyler's similarities and go ohh narrator has a type lol#anyway anyway#maybe it's just the way both make me feel. same texture of brain-mush
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that line of astarions where hes like "oh dont pout because you're not getting your sweet, cuddly astarion. i can't be the person you want me to be" in act 3 makes me go crazy wtf
#its so tastey ....... how are people mad abt his ascended ending its so narratively yummy ... leaving the cycles of abuse unbroken#is kind of epicc sometimes#like i got that on venlis playthru which was 80 hrs of hope and love and seeing the best in people so it was very thematically appropriate#idk it was kewl and felt like a callout for ppl who think growth is linear and all that. not even like astarion tries to be a good person#usually cus he heel-drags and resents altruism but with patience he can come to care about the player character in exquisite ways#i dont even remember what this was triggered by i think venli was talking to the gur and told him he had to help their kids or whatever LOL#hes just crazy hes like im biting and killing you for trying to see the good in me hows about i become worse#personal#delete#but also what he says to dark urge when you resist for the last time and its like 'you see? you dont have to be what someone made you to be#exquisite ... . ...#but also victory absolutely ascended him and it was fun and yummy and also narratively satisfying to see him go insane LOL#bg3 spoilers#just to be safe
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not to be spoilery on main but I was just rereading (for like the 11 thousandth time) some of the ending portions of roots, and I don't care who disagrees with me and I don't care what people will think when it's out, but I sure can fucking NAIL an ending baby!!!!!! yeehaw!!!! 🤠
#whenever people are like 'damn i hate action' or 'How Do People Write Satisfying Endings' i have to remind myself#that i should take pride in the fact that ive gotten very very good at doing both of those things#which I dont intend as a brag or whatever. trust me. my shit aint polished and idk jack Fuck about writing as a craft#for fucks sake I JUSt learned how to identify passive voice and can't get its/it's right to save my goddamn life#but for all the weaknesses I have and struggle with on a technical level I more than make up with in the actual Story-Telling part#anyways no use trying to humble me I Know What I'm About Son
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Tbh as satisfied as I am with how Season 3 ended, and how I do want a Season 4 but not necessarily needing it, a small part of me is glad that Hannibal ended the way it did because if it had continue on till the very end, the true ending would've been much more soul-crushing than the one we got and honestly I don't know if I would be able to cope with it lmao.
Like it's pretty clear that a story like Hannibal would not have a happy ending. At most, it'd be bittersweet, at worst, it would fucking destroy all our hearts. The open-endedness and rather hopeful ending of TWOTL is a much kinder conclusion than whatever was originally planned.
#hannibal#Watch me eat my words when they announce S4 in like the next two years idk#But srsly I will forever praise TWOTL for being one of the greatest finales out there#“It's beautiful” — as Will puts it#Setting aside all its poetism#I really like how if you accept it as the true ending‚ it would be a very satisfying and beautiful end#But if you don't and reasonably so‚ then the ending still gives you room for imagination on what could happen next#Obv that was the plan since S4 was an iffy idea at the time but it's just executed so well yk?#Ok yap over lol
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We started the session being comfortable putting our nose in and then immediately pulling back for a treat. We end our session comfortably (loosely) bucked in
#with a little walk around the house and a loooot of treats. then off and done#and she wanted to keep going too#but i know I'd end up pushing too far. better to stop early... especially since im not a very good trainer and undoing issues would be hard#anyways. this because i want to try whippet racing#and i know sometimes its required for coursing so may as well be ready for anything#or like. “a natural relaxed yet alert stance” as the racing rulebook says... im assuming basically stacked?#pretty sure that's how she's arranged for the measurement wicket at roll call#she doesn't like standing on the board and she doesn't like the wicket either so a couple people helped me arrange her#would like to not need that. and that wont be allowed for racing so like. double the reason to improve#idk idk i just want her to have a full enriched life. as much as I'm able to give#fastcat is frequent nearby but seems kinda disappointing for her. since its not really that much running/chasing#lure coursing is infrequent and very satisfying for her#i dont know yet how frequent or nearby racing is but at least it would be another fun thing for her!#getting a rc car is in line with that goal. more frequent fun chase games + conditioning for other things we do#we just dont have any fast friends nearby so she rarely really runs the way i know she wants to#anyways. this has been a rant#whippet#misdemeanor#dogblr#petblr
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was gonna say smth else but this turned into a vent sorry everyone just ignore. typical weekend post on this blog u know how it is here we go👍
#wild ik so many ppl getting married meanwhile im over here struggling to convince myself my friends even care abt me or want me around#pathetic to admit but i cant even fantasise abt someone loving me bc im too insecure n emotionally unstable#my mind just shoots the idea down like whoa. unrealistic. ur incapable of expressing or receiving affection in any way that matters#no matter how badly u want to... and even if someone did well u wouldnt believe them most of the time#gotta get out of the fucking labyrinth first i couldnt inflict this shit on anyone i cared abt#but it makes me so desperately sad sometimes i dont know how im ever going to get out of this ive been trying for years and years#and im a little better at it snd i dont feel like this all of the time i know it just comes around and itll pass again#but im tired of being in so much emotional pain so frequently. and shouldering it so alone. theres such a disconnect between myself and#others and i dont know how to bridge that i don't know how to stop feeling so isolated and unwanted !!!!!! im trying so hard#it doesnt even bother me w relative strangers in my life like i dont get insecure at all around them i like meeting new ppl#bc theres like. no expectations i guess. like ik they dont care abt me personally and idk them well enough to do that either#and its fun but it doesnt satisfy needs that i have like i need to feel close + connected to ppl i need to care abt them + feel cared for#but as soon as i do start to care abt ppl it gets all tangled and i end up getting rly badly hurt over and over. thru no fault but my own#bc im constantly alienating myself and bc i struggle so much w shit like physical affection which is frustratingly rly critical for me!!!!#it wouldnt fucking matter if i didnt like or want affection ik some ppl are fine without i wish it worked like that for me#but nope instead i have to be constantly messed up over my complete fucking inability to express myself in any form#and ik it makes everyone around me so uncomfortable so it just becomes self reinforcing and eventually they drift and leave me behind#and i just do that over and over and over and every time ill tell myself ill do better ill try harder and itll get easier and someone will#and it happens again and right now im at the stage where the abandonment fear is starting to kick in which is awful n paralysing#and usually a precursor to actually being abandoned ehich is always my own fault bc i start behaving so erratically out of fear or defense#its self fulfilling and im trying. im trying so hard not to let it overwhelm me again and not to start acting out and freaking ppl out#and im coping with it okay i think but just hurts me a lot its all internal my rejection sensitivity is gradually ticking up and up#and argh!!!!!!!!! and some days im okay and some days its like this and i dont know what todo when its like this im so tired and in pain#its not even that bad today tbf. once im done typing this to get it out ill be able to do smth else and distract mysrlf for a bit#and then calling friends later too so exposure therapy innit. but itll be fun and i love them but i will probably also feel very bad after#or even possibly during but thats okay ill still manage fine im not going to let it interfere i dont want it controlling my fucking life#i am going to have a nice time and be okay despite it all. even if i do have to fucking battle this every day forever#and even if it stops me living my life to the extent i want and feeling as ok as i want i just have to come to terms with and be ok w it#and im not going to be!!! a fucking asshole abt it!!! i dont want to hurt anyone else thats the most important thing no matter how i feel#thr rest is all secondary and ik i cant help a few little bumps here and there but trying hardest to keep it separate its not negotiable
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#when his face does the Thing#when he does this Move#chae hyungwon#hyungwon#monsta x#maxsixgif#okay wonnie when are you going to tell me about your new subunit#or am i forced to post all this old material to amuse myself#i am very amused though#he's so dumbdumb but i would *** a man for him#i really like the Rush Hour choreo#especially this part#idk why#its just so satisfying to me
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