#idk it's frustrating bc it's not that I don't wanna interact at all it's just so fucking hard

[ipusingularitae]

my dad: *telling me i do have socialization deficits, that i need to step out more and interact with people and look like i am part of the environment and that i am "there" and present*

me, knowing damn well i have socialization deficits and feeling overwhelmed in social situations, especially when I don't feel like i fit and when I don't know the other people: ... okay

my dad: did you get upset with me telling you this?

me, dissociating so I don't start crying in front of him: ... no

[bamfkeeper]

Kurt teaching you German numbers, his methods are very encouraging. 18+ under cut. MDNI.

This crossed my mind, and I think it's super hot. But maybe it's just meee idk 😖 It's all for fun anyway. I have trouble retaining information so I figured Kurt would come up with something to help you remember if you have the same issue. <3

Warnings: More dominant Kurt bc I wanna see more this side of him, it's not too crazy. Afab reader, sex toys, praise, orgasm denial, slight overstimulation, oral (reader giving), he uses his tail~ Not edited, please ignore grammar mistakes!

WC: 1.8k

You didn't speak German, when you met Kurt you vowed you'd try to learn. You asked him to help you from time to time, and he gladly did. He always praised you for words you got write, and gently corrected you or helped you when you got something wrong or simply couldn't remember. But even if you missed a day, you forgot everything. It was frustrating for you, how you couldn't retain something so simple. Kurt knew how you felt, so he thought he might change up the lessons to make them a bit more...interactive.

"We will start off easy, liebling." he hummed and sat in front of you, looking down at you on the floor. You were trembling and looking up with anticipation, biting your lip, squirming slightly on the vibe he had on your cunt. "Numbers. One through ten, ja?" he turned the vibe on a low setting, enough to jerk you up slightly, but not enough for you to reach your peak.

"Okay..." you rasped, crawling to be more sat between his legs. He chuckled and watched you fondle his growing bulge in his underwear. "Naughty liebchen..." he cooed, "Wait."

With a reluctant whine, you stopped and looked up at him again. Your cheeks were much hotter from the situation, he hadn't ever been this way before, but you weren't complaining.

"One." he said calmly, his tail curled up at the end as he watched you.

"Eins." you replied softly, your legs trembling. You could feel your core dampening, your clit throbbed against the dull vibration from the vibe. He grinned down at you, nodding. "Good. That's correct..." a press on the remote made the vibrator increase a notch, which in turn made you feel more pleasure.

"And what's two?" he asked, slowly pulling himself free, his cock slowly hardening as his hand stroked it. Your eyes were glued to his pretty cock, the tip beading already and you wanted to taste him.

"Zwei," you said back, hoping he'd let you suck him now. He saw your wants, but he didn't give in just yet. You were only on two after all, you needed to remember more than that first.

"Ah, good...three." he continued, hitting the next button to increase the vibrations. The second setting felt good, but not enough for you. You wanted more, and he saw your hips squirming. He smiled at you, he was unbelievably hot right now, it wasn't fair.

"Three." he whispered, "Make it to five and I'll let you cum." he promised, his hand steadily stroking himself. The promise of your climax made you feel more motivated, you were pretty confident so far. "Drei," your answer came out with a slight whine, and the vibe increased again, the third setting beginning to make a louder hum and your legs shook more.

"Das ist gut...you are doing so good." he whispered, "How about four and five? Can you remember four and five?" he asked, his hand moving a little faster on his cock. You bit your lip, spreading your legs slightly as you practically made a pool under you with how much you were leaking. "Ah...a-ah...v-vier...and....fünf..." you moaned loudly as he hit the button twice and the vibrations increased two notches.

He hummed and his tail tapped your back, urging you to scoot closer. "You did well, how about I let you reach your first orgasm? You remembered one through five, you deserve it don't you?" he reached down and cupped your face, his cock almost touching your lips but not close enough.

"Y-yes...." you whined, his finger pushed into your mouth gently and he tsked, so you corrected yourself. "Ja..." a bit muffled with his finger but...he got the gist. He nodded, his tail trailed your spine and moved between your legs. His spade cupped your pussy, feeling how wet you were and his eyes glistened.

"What a naughty girl. You are so turned on by this, hm? I had no idea this is what would get you to remember. I suppose we shall do this anytime you need a German lesson, won't we?" he pulled his thumb out of your mouth and held your chin, pulling you closer to his cock. It throbbed slightly, the head dripping sticky precum for you.

"Do you like when I am like this? You probably didn't expect it from me...but I assure you liebling...I can be however you want me to be." Kurt hummed and rubbed his cock on your lips. "Not yet..." he teased, his tail gently pressing your soaked entrance. "Tell me one through five again, sweetheart."

You were dizzy, you never thought Kurt could act like this, but hell, you weren't going to tell him to stop. You shifted, your back arching slightly, trying to get more of him to poke into you, but he anticipated this and withdrew his tail. "Kurt," you whined, pouting before reciting the numbers in German.

"Was that so hard?" he questioned, a playing smirk on his lips as his tail pushed back against you. Between his tail toying with you and the vibe, you weren't far from your orgasm. He worked you for a bit, until he felt you push your face into his thigh, moaning loudly as you felt your orgasm hit you. Your entire body shook with the shocks of it, the vibe was right on your swelling clit and it felt so intense that you swear the vibrations went straight to your toes.

"Ah...that's it...let yourself go, liebe...you're so good." he praised and groaned to himself, seeing you reach your peak almost got him to his own, his hand stroking himself hastily. When your orgasm was over, you whined and panted from the intense sensation still humming on your clit. He chuckled seeing your blissed out face, though slightly wincing from the overstimulation. "You are so beautiful...you feel so wet on my tail, liebe...can you get to ten?"

"A-aah...nngh, Kurt..." you whimpered, "S-s'too much..." you panted and held his legs. He shook his head and smiled, "Get to ten...then I'll give you a break."

He continued the slow count to ten, when he got to eight, you couldn't remember what it was. "Nngh...I-I don't remember..." you whined, your second orgasm right there....so, so close! You were right on the edge and about to teeter off when he cut the vibe's power. Your throat caught a strangled cry and you looked up at him. Your eyes held betrayal and he laughed softly.

"You know our deal, schatz...each number you get correct increases the power...for one you get wrong, you cannot come." he said calmly, explaining it in a teasing manner. His head tilted slightly, his hair curling at the ends and falling over his forehead. "Let's try again...from one."

You groaned and pouted, your forehead pressing against his leg. "Fine..." you muttered, feeling a little stubborn but obliging. One look up at him and your resolve melted away. You leaned up and kissed his tip before he could say anything in response. "Eins, zwei, drei." You said quickly, "Vier, fünf, sechs." your tongue dashed out and licked over his tip, tasting him. Your tongue took its time, slowly rolling over his head and pressing against the slit to get more of his precum.

"Sieben..." you trailed off and thought about what eight was, you had forgotten before. "Er..." you frowned, your brow furrowing in thought. His cock head came into view, you kissed the tip and suckled. "Oh! Acht!" you said proudly, making Kurt smile widely.

"Ja! Ja, das war gut!" he laughed and held the remote up a bit, turning the vibe back on. The vibrations weren't as strong as they were but they were slowly building back up. "Now what about nine and ten...?"

You moaned loudly, your already sensitive clit being stimulated raw like this made you more ready to cum a second time. The intensity of right before your climax overwhelmed you and the sensation continued. You felt like you were balancing on the rope right before free falling to pleasure, the vibrations just needed to be slightly more powerful...

"N-Neun...." you rasped, hot breath hitting his hard dick and he had to hold everything back, maintaining his composure so you completed the exercise. "A...and...zehn!" you weren't sure on that last one, but spat it out anyway.

Kurt was relieved too, he needed more from you just as you needed more from him. "Ja, good, you got them!" he turned the vibe up and he cradled the back of your head, pulling you to his cock and pushing past your lips. He bobbed your head and he groaned, "Ja...so gut...I know you've wanted this." he grunted out of a clenched jaw, his tail continuing to caress your pussy.

"More, liebling...I'm close." he warned, guiding you to bob your head quicker. Your hand reached down and fondled his balls, rolling them gently and earning louder groans from him. Each noise he made shot pleasure straight to your core. "Mmn, mmf!" you looked up at him as you tried to take more of him than you were used to.

You gagged slightly, but that didn't stop your determination. He watched with half lidded eyes as you tried your best to deepthroat him while your orgasm hit you. Your nose buried into his pubic hair, saliva dripped down his balls as your tongue pressed against his cock and protected the underside of him from your teeth. You muffled a cry as your body shook from the force of your climax rushed through you.

His eyes roll back and he jerks his hips up slightly, soon hot ropes of cum shoot out into your throat, coating your tongue as he pulls back so you don't choke. The sticky fluid fills your mouth and you eagerly drink it down. He feels you swallowing and he waits until you get it all, then he pulls himself out of your mouth.

"Oh, liebling...c'mere." he pulled you up, your poor legs trembled as you stood. He turned the vibe off and removed it from you, looking at your swollen and reddened clit. "Poor little button," he smirked and leaned down, laying a kiss against it. You moaned loudly when his lips touched your throbbing bud and he pulled back before it became too much.

He gave you that charming smile, and your exhausted face couldn't help but smile back. He would be the death of you, you swore. He pulled you into his lap and held you, kissing your neck and cheeks in a loving manner. He adored you more than anything else, and he loved how the two of you could have fun and explore these kinds of things together.

"You know...if you ever want to learn German colors..." he trailed off, flashing a mischievous grin. Maybe you could go for another lesson.

Thanks for reading.

*BAMF*

dividers by @/adornedwithlight

Cover images: Immortal X-Men #7 (2022)

[moreespressoformydepresso]

For some reason I started imagining a scenario where the tributes and the mentors somehow get trapped together in the arena (without the peacekeepers being there don't ask me how I haven't figured it out) at first the mentors are freaking out meanwhile the tributes are just sitting there being like: we are dead anyway and each group is staying on one side of the arena and don't want to cross the other side however when supplies are sent for the mentors empathize on only the mentors the nicer ones are willing to share with their tribute while the less good ones are complaining and screaming nonstop until the tributes have enough of the screaming and tell them to shut up Bec they are the ones who the capitol is trying to save and send supplies for and the ones who well get to live while if they get out of the arena while they will come back home in boxes and will never get the chance to grow up except one and the tributes who are frustrated with their mentors varbully smack them down until the bad mentors finally shut up and slowly they go from insulting the tributes to trying to have a somewhat casual conversation although with little success idk I am writing this while half asleep so sorry if it's all random and there are dozen of plot holes and I haven't decided if the reason they are all trapped in the arena is Bec of the bombing and where the peacekeepers would be as I am not considering them so sorry if this is all random but it's a scenario that I thought would be somewhat amusing

That's a fantastic setup for a fix-it!! Because the best way to convince people to part with their prejudiced, bigoted beliefs is to let them interact with the people they hate. It forces them to see the humanity in those they've convinced themselves are lesser beings. It's what most of my full fix-it AU's are focused on: forcing the mentors to see what they refuse to accept. The tributes just don't have the power or influence to stop the games, but the mentors do. They have the freedom to actually do something. It's just that they don't, because they only care about their own tribute and are raised to believe in the system. The games are a part of the system. Working within the system means trying to make their own tribute the victor, and it's that mentality that gets all of the tributes except Lucy Gray killed.

The bombing's the only time the tributes and mentors both go into the arena at the same time, so it'd have to happen then if we wanna stick as close to canon as possible. Ain't no way the Capitol's gonna let their precious children be alone in a large space with district people so there would be peacekeepers either way. The best way to handle this is to kill most or all of those peacekeepers via rubble. The first bomb goes off in the entrance rather than near it, effectively collapsing it shut, and the second goes off lower down in the stands. Only the walls to the bottom of the stands collapse, the ceiling stays intact. Possibly a third bomb goes off to create a gap in the ceiling that's too high for anyone to reach.

Maybe Treech and Lamina are sent by the mentors to climb the pile and find a way out? Because the mentors view themselves as smarter and more superior so they try to take the lead and be in control. They wanna send Wovey too but the 22 glares (bc Dill wouldn't glare) burning into their very souls put that idea to rest very quickly. But Lamina and Treech can't make an exit without moving stones which would risk bringing the whole building down on everyone. The mentors refuse to accept "no" until Reaper and Marcus have enough of their shit and threaten them to accept the answer or face the consequences. Sejanus, throughout all of this, is an absolute angel trying to stop his mentors from being jerks. It's not effective, but he's trying, and he only admonishes the mentors that try to threaten back. Not Reaper or Marcus, because of course not. They're well within their rights to be rude to the Capitol kids. So, they're stuck and retreat to their corners because of the mentors.

I think the tributes would want to be with each other while stuck in the arena, but their mentors would stop them because competition and "those other tributes are vile and dangerous district scum and you're different so I can't be around those beasts!" Maybe that's actually the snapping point for one of them? It would show some more selfless characteristics which would make it harder for the mentors to ignore. This kid didn't stand up for themself but for people who they met days ago that'll have to die soon. It's very echo-y in the arena so even spoken words can be heard by everyone. Perhaps, while the tributes like Facet and Panlo are screaming at their horrible mentors for being trash, they reveal some of the horrible living conditions in the districts? Like one of them will go "and not even when we're in the Capitol can we escape you worthless, slimy douchebags depriving us of our basic needs! Not even when you need us fed will you bother inconveniencing yourself in the slightest to be less than the bare minimum requirements for a basic human being!!!!" and it kind of shocks the mentors out of their delusion because the tributes haven't ever been so openly hostile before.

Maybe, if they rant a little further, the other mentors turn to their own tributes and ask if things are really that bad. The answer? "Ha! No. Absolutely not don't worry :). It's worse :D" When Facet straight up tells Livia he hates her and everything about her, and Brandy declares she wishes she'd gone through with slitting Arachne's throat rather than showing mercy, they start to realize just how much the tributes loathe them. It's awkwardly silent for a few minutes when Gaius tries to lighten the mood with one of his "jokes". The mentors laugh. The tributes scowl. Panlo says nothing, merely looks Gaius in the eyes for a few seconds. Then he spits in his face and decks him hard enough to break his nose. Standing up, he goes to sit with Sheaf. The glare he gives when Gaius speaks up indignantly and tries to follow shut him up immediately as he sits down. Something about the previous conversation about not feeding the tributes sits with Vipsania and she turns to Treech. "When I said you should perform for food, I-"

"I know about the prize, Vipsania. It's fine, you don't have to lie." Marcus and Sejanus have spent this quality time to bond and become actual friends (because Sejanus is very funny when he subtly roasts his classmates and Marcus can appreciate that the guy's trying to help them at least) so when Sejanus tries to apologize Marcus merely gives him a hug and assures him that he didn't do anything wrong. Coriolanus' belief in Gaul's theory is destroyed because they're all effectively cornered and this is the most human he's ever seen the tributes act (because he can't not pay attention this time). No one's dead, and even the already starving tributes who were initially denied food haven't done anything drastic or caused any actual harm. Huh... Maybe he should listen to Tigris a little more, she's always been there for him after all. He knows she has the best intentions, whereas Gaul... He's starting to have his doubts about her.

Pup asks Lamina whether she thinks he's been a good mentor, and her answer is along the lines of "Yeah, and you've been a good friend to me." She glances at Treech, and he remembers all the things he so desperately tried to diminish and write off. The way they were always near one another, them sharing all their food (his earned through performance, hers given by Pup), the way they constantly looked over at one another to make sure they were still okay and their obvious concern. They cared about each other, and he was fine with taking someone so clearly important to Lamina away from her because actually questioning the system would've made him uncomfortable. His comfort had been more important to him than her happiness, her mental stability, and possibly her life. Vipsania turns back to Treech. "Do you hate me?" It catches everyone's attention, and he stares at her with an unreadable look on his face before hesitantly saying: "You could've been much worse..." While she knows she'll regret it, she repeats herself. "But do you hate me?" For a few agonizing seconds, you could hear a pin drop while everyone waits for his next words. They don't come. Instead, he merely looks away from her, curling in on himself. It's answer enough.

All the other tributes look away as well, and that's when it finally actually hits the mentors. Even the tributes with nicer mentors hate them. It's Lucy Gray who explains it. Some of them like their mentors just fine, but due to the circumstances... There's a part of them that can't help but feel resentful towards the Capitol kids. Their privileged lives, their frivolous worries like school projects that somehow take precedent over children who rely on them to survive, the everything about their circumstances and everyone's role in it. The system that caused the suffering and future death of the tributes is the same system that benefits the mentors. And no matter how much said mentors show they care, it clearly wasn't enough to make them even question this unfair world. Silence and inaction can speak much louder than any word or action ever could sometimes. This is one of those times.

I have so many more ideas but I'll cut it off now. Do you want to write this? If not, I'd be interested :) (with credit given ofc). I do have two running stories and 3 things I plan to start writing, but I'd give this precedence over at least 2 of those lmao. But it is your idea so...

[jemmo]

ok i was too exhausted to talk about i hear the sunspot last week so now i have 2 weeks worth of ranting saved up and i can feel the tidal wave coming.

edit: i had to add a read more bc this turned into the messiest, most tangent-filled rant. tl;dr idk i just like it

and first off i wanna semi-respond to some discussion ive seen around the show with regards to pacing, that its slow, its frustrating etc. and the extent of my response is... yeah. well, not just yeah. its not that i agree or disagree, its more that i dont have a way to respond that is unbiased or removed from my personal opinion bc i love the show a lot. if i totally detached and looked at it, yeah, maybe i'd think that way. god knows ive said the same thing for many, many other shows and funnily enough its usually one of my least favourite things. at least, i thought it was, but now that i think about it...

ok this is gonna be a tangent but ive now been watching bl and been in the bl space for over 3 years (wow, how did that happen?) and i think its really interesting to think about, and i'd love to hear from others as well, how my taste in bl has changed. what i like, what i dont like, what i value in a show and how much i am willing to invest in or engage with a show. before i got to bl, i was very much looking for bl content. even when i was younger, i was always trying to find queer content and it was usually european, and then in my anime phase i watched all the bl anime, and that led me to cherry magic blah blah you dont need to know the rest. but at that point i was very much hungry to just see queerness on screen. and i mean explicit queerness, not necessary sexual, just like dating and kissing and explicit same sex relationships. and i think in that haze and the height of hyperfixation i watched many shows that i probably wouldnt have the patience to now. i watch a lot less bl now, maybe bc im more busy with work, maybe bc bl is actually getting worse idk, or maybe i just dont have the effort the engage with something when i dont like it, or it just doesnt interest me. and speaking of what i do and don't like, i feel like this lack of patience has also come with this gradual change in what i want for the show. i know bl now, i know its out there, i know more and more is being made every year, im not in short supply of explicit queerness anymore. so now i can be more picky. if i find myself getting bored watching a show, i just wont watch it. and also bc ive been watching bl for years now, i feel like i am developing what my taste in bl is, and thats not exactly something i can describe, for me its more a i know it when i see it kinda thing. thats why i try a lot of shows out but am happy to drop them after a couple of eps when i know i dont vibe with them.

and with shows i dont drop, they usually fall into 2 categories; im actually enjoying it or im just waiting around to see where this goes. and to call myself out, bc of all these things i think it means that im... well, not less critical, but less able to be unbiased when watching a show i do like, bc hey this is the one show out of 10 going on this month that im obsessed with, of course im not gonna be critical of it. and thats not to say i should be critical of i hear the sunspot, more that im not bc my bias and taste just makes me like it. all the things people think are its flaws that i see with other shows, i just dont see, or dont care about, bc i just like it. and thats me with the pacing. in any other show i would probably be bored and impatient. but for me, bc of so many other things, bc of what theyve done with characters in the mean time, bc i just like these characters a lot, the way they interact, the way they think, the whole vibe of the show and what it says, im just not bothered by it. its not an issue to me. and thats my tangent on personal taste and how youre allowed to just not think that a show has flaws when you like it even if other people think its flawed and youre equally critical of other things but anyway.

back to i hear the sunspot. i dont know why i love this slowburn and lack of communication but i just do. maybe its bc the show doesnt feel rushed. ive been frustrated so many other times when shows wait until the final ep for the couple to get together, which im guessing this show is doing, but thats usually bc nothing else about the show is engaging me so it feels like im being left waiting. i dont feel like im left waiting here. here, i feel like everyone as a character is being valued and whatever time i spend with any of them, i love it. i dont find myself waiting until kohei and taichi get a scene together like i have with other shows bc everything else, everything with them individually, everything with maya, with taichi's friends, idk what else to say i just love it all. and that shows bc i cried just as hard at the scene with maya as i did at the scene with kohei and taichi.

and now for just some fave bits, starting with maya. i just love her. people were so ready to be annoyed with her and pick her apart, but i cant scream enough about how amazing it is that the show introduced a female antagonist and managed to, in my eyes anyway, turn her into someone i liked and felt for and just enjoyed watching. finally, a female antagonist that wasnt just disposable after she served her purpose. and whats better is that what we come to learn about her recontextualises her actions when she was first introduced. i just know upon a rewatch that when i first see her acting out and being mean to taichi, i might still be mad at her, but ill also see a girl that is struggling to make it look like she is fine, someone who is trying her hardest to make it appear that she doesnt try at all, that shes fine, shes no burden to anyone, that this huge thing that is scary and difficult to deal with, shes fine with, bc shes just that good, no biggie. that need to make it all seem casual, to not show weakness, is even exactly why she got mad at taichi in the first place, bc she thought he wasnt trying, he was just doing things casually and he was ok with letting people know he wasnt perfect. he didnt take perfect notes and that was ok, he was still trying his hardest. thats like the exact opposite of maya's mindset to be perfect but make it look like shes not trying. and i think that clash was a great thing to add to the show, and so rewarding when taichi finally hit the nail on the head and told her she didnt have to try so hard, that its ok to let, or even make, other people make the effort. its not sympathy or pity, its kindness.

and now for taichi and kohei. there was just so many things that i loved, the scene of kohei cutting onions with his mom, the whole montage in the classroom going through the highlights of taichi taking notes for kohei, the whole vibe at the end where it was never explicitly said but you just knew it was taichi's last day. and i adore the way that kohei didn't ask questions when taichi told him about dropping out, he just had that faith in taichi, there was nothing to question, he believed that whyever it was, whatever it was for, taichi had thought about it and made the decision and that was enough. instead he just talks about taichi, how hes amazing, making him feel good about himself so he can feel both confident in his decision and whatever he does next. and as for taichi, i know we all wanna know why he cant just say he likes kohei and get it over with, but i dont think thats the right sentiment to bring to the show, or at least not the one i have. whatever it is, i just dont mind, bc to me taichi is a person and if he cant bring himself to say it now or doesnt want to or doesnt think its the right time, thats fine. thats the kind of energy gives me anyway, that i shouldnt be pressing these characters for a reason. its similar to how the show doesnt feel rushed, its like im fine if taichi doesnt say it bc theres no deadline, you say your feelings when youre ready and want to and thats just up to him and im not here to rush him, neither is the show. it just gives him the space to figure things out and make his mind up and decide when the time is right, when he isnt on rocky ground with yknow new people being mean to him and making him doubt himself or questioning what he wants to do with his life and taking on something new - like if taichi is overwhelemed by all of that, its fine. and i can hear the argument oh show us that and like yeah, as i said for any other show id say that too but here i dont care. taichi not saying his feelings can be for any reason you want to come up with, the show doesnt need to give us one, nor do we need one to accept he hasnt done it, but also if you want a reason, theres more than enough to draw from the show to come to your own conclusions. that kinda sounds like the most pretencious defence of a show thatsputting off a confession for the final ep but hey its what i think and i vibe with that thinking so there.

honestly, what i feel about this show is that it didn't need to be a bl for me to watch it, bc i adore everything about it that id watch it even if it was just bromance or even pure friendship, but the fact it is that bc its a bl, because it has that romance, it makes it better. and maybe thats why im not bothered by the pacing, bc im not waiting for the bl moments, im just enjoying the show for what it is, for the story its telling, for the characters its created and the message its conveying. and god if i think about it ending next week i will bust a cry so for now, we live in denial.

[fandomfluffandfuck]

hi S ok you definitely dont have to answer this bc its basically just me venting and its pretty lame haha but im curious if its something you've ever dealt with or if u have advice... basically i have diagnosed ASD and marvel is my special interest and has been since i was a kid and im pretty positive its going to stay my favorite thing for the rest of my life lol. and sometimes i get so sooo sad and kinda lonely thinking about the fact that like .. i know its basically still one of the biggest fandoms out there but like all my favorite fics were posted like 5-10 years ago mostly from authors that arent even in the fandom anymore and theres never gonna be another movie with steve and bucky together that everyone gets excited about and wants to talk about and theres also just so much less of a fun goofy little tight knit community for stucky on tumblr and online like ... idk i just miss so bad when the mcu was at its peak and there was so much content to consume and so many people passionate about it... and i know theres definitely still a huge presence and like im so thankful that youre an author that i love thats still super active and im always glad to visit your page and to see that theres still so many fans out there that care and wanna interact yknow. but tumblrs different now and its been like ten years since peak stucky content and the actors are all doing their own thing now idk it just makes me sad 😩😩 i feel like such a loser saying it i swear i have other interests and an irl life that is very fruitful and lovely hahaha its just makes me a bit frustrated at my autism because i know i wont be able to ever really stop loving these characters even as others move on

Hey, sweets!

I understand what you mean and you're not a loser, not at all. It's fucking great to have an interest in something, anything--what else is life for? You gotta have something to be focused on and interested in that gives you joy, otherwise, what is there? Just blandness. And, yeah, Marvel fandom is still very much active and that's wonderful and great! But, it's also true that it will never be the same as it was in its heyday. Personally, I wasn't around when the stucky fandom was exploding along the release of CA:TWS/the general MCU height, but I certainly see all the old art, edits, cosplay, etc. that's still reblogged and I've read so many of the fics from years prior, so I have a grasp of what was happening. And I can totally see how you'd miss generally, but especially if your fixation has attached deeply to these characters.

I have a sibling on the autism spectrum (who's old enough to have been diagnosed with Aspergers's syndrome before that was phased out but they are, of course, on the spectrum regardless of arbitrary hierarchical labels that I will restrain from ranting about because I fucking hate that shit, don't talk to me about "high functioning" ugh) and they have a few different life-long hyperfixations as well. So, you're not alone, but, it is hard to think of any actual advice per se. I think you're already doing what you need to be doing, y'know? You're here and enjoying what is going on now, connecting to blogs that are active, finding space where you can talk about these characters, you've got other things to do that also capture your attention, and, of course, you know you're sad about what isn't going on anymore. It's okay to be sad. You can't control what you're passionate about in the same way you can't control who you fall in love with. Are these silly little fictional characters not just people we've fallen in love with a little or a lot, no matter if they don't "exist"? I love that for us. Humans are so cute and full of love.

Fandoms and people change and sometimes it fucking sucks when it happens, sometimes it's great. Either way, it's part of the ecosystem of life. Water and nutrients and air and sun--it makes people change, it makes them grow, and you're allowed to be sad about what they used to be, you just have to keep growing, too. Remember what they were and know who they are now.

Hopefully, something in there helped you feel better, even if it was just from telling someone how you feel.

[milfzatannaz]

Do you know why is there so much Danny phantom stuff on hellblazer tag?Do you have any suggestions how to mute it? Because I already mute the words but it's still appearing? I don't hate Danny phantom or anything Iam just confused I am currently reading the og hellblazer comics I just finished reading the family man arc...(I am reading using ur reading guide),I know John from dcau and Keanu's Constantine movie, I also read the all of his appearance in the swamp thing before starting his own series and I really wanna know more about John Constantine I havent watch the cw version yet bc idk where to I just wanna see hellblazer content...fanarts, people talking about him and ya know stuff about John, muting the dpxdc tag thingy doesn't work because it's still there when I search the tag...you can't see the post but it's still there.. its just say 'muted tags'... (probably because Im using Android or....not) it's just frustrating...why is the Constantine tag barely about him?...you and the 5 other major vertigo fan blog on this app seems to be the only acc where I can get raw hellblazer fan content...

sorry English is not my first language

hey babe I totally getchu. I have NO IDEA!!!!!! where the Danny phantom shit came from. I’ve been in the fandom for 3 years ish and I swear to god one day I woke up and the tag was FLOODED. before Danny phantom there was stupid billy batson headcanons but I successfully bullied a lot of people away from that 💀💀💀💀 I fucking hate this stupid crossover. I want to reblog panels not see stupid text posts about a defunct Nickelodeon children’s cartoon

I hate that John is a stand-in character for irrelevant crap and John centric content is hard to find. People don’t seem to want to interact with his canon they only want a stereotypical messy bi man to sleep with their faves or parent random teenagers. BARF!!!!!

as far as muting I’m not sure. Some ppl don’t tag properly and spam character tags. I’d block dcxdp if you haven’t already. you are welcome to scroll my #Hellblazer tag, and my #john and #vertigo tags if that’s any consolation?

[torialefay]

First of all, wishing you all the best of luck on your assessment🍀🍀🍀🍀

Second, mad agree with you on the hair post like😊

Third, coming from a lower middle/middle class area, i have never met a single person who was financially "normal" to this area or on the poorer side who would dare throw their electronics like chan has before. Even if they got richer later, old habits die hard, and you learn the value of money. I mean, I've seen people toss or flip their phone softly when bored, but never that hard or with a laptop or something, holy shit. You can tell a lot about someone by their interactions with not only people, but everything. The amount of times i watched an idol and went "🫵rich kid attitude" is kinda funny. And i totally agree with all the asks that came in between you and your mutuals and some anons, skz are all mad hardworking, but i dont think you can or should ignore or cover up the fact that they had the financial help and the resources to learn more and give them an advantage above the rest both personally amx through jype. Its kinda like college acceptance imo. And YES creatively free with many many many restrictions. Not even talking about k-idols, normal musicians have talked about the restrictions and requirements they need to have for their appearcance and the songs they released, i can only imagine being an idol is just exponentially demanding and restrictive. Their real voice is there, but it's smaller than a lot of stay think. Hayley Kiyoko talked about her company (label?) Not wanting her to write anymore songs about girls and Colbie Caillet has a whole song about her frustration that her label wanted her to write more love songs.

*incoherent noises* i could go on forever, but my god, cortana, play "we dont believe whats on tv" by twenty one pilots

And oh my god, i wish fandoms lighten up some. Its okay to not like everything every artist or show or whatever you like comes out with. It may even be healthy to not. When you love someone, youre not gonna let them keep fucking up and then you go "youre doing amazing sweetie", no, you have to tell them that they fucked up so they are aware of their mistakes and get better. Im pretty sure i read somewhere that skz mentioned thats what they prefer anyways. Sure its gonna hurt, especially since so much heart and hope, and hardwork went into it, but if its not good, its okay to admit that and that goes for every relationship ever. And if they dont wanna listen, then, thats on them.

Im really loving all the reality checks on here recently and i havent even ranted on about "i like it" yet lmao

thank you baby!!!! and tbf, i think they could look good in absolutely any hair color or hair style. except i never want to see christopher in another fully-red moment again. his lil red highlights or whatever he had recebtly for the mv were cute, but i'm not here for the full red like leave that man alone 😭

i was talking to one of my moots about this a little bit, so i'm actually glad you brought it up... but idk it's kind of embarrassing(?) idk for me to talk about so please bear with me im queasy lol. i was never some like super spoiled-brat rich kid or anything, but growing up i would say my family was very well-off or privilged maybe? idk it's kind of awkward to talk about bc i don't want people to feel certain ways about me but yeah. i think when you are in that kind of position, it's so easy to not even realize how advantaged you are. like there's that mentality of "oh i'm such a hard worker and that's how i've gotten here" when really, as uncomfortable as it is to admit, you don't *actually* know how far you would've gotten if you'd done it ALL on your own. not relying on anyone else... and not knowing if "just you" is good enough is a veryyyy hard pill to swallow- aka why most people disregard their privilege even being brought into the equation. it's easier to just pretend it doesnt exist. hence, i guess, why we love to think of SKZ coming up from nothing... it's just so easy to fall into that trap. and i feel like even the skz members fall into that trap themselves

unfortunately, that is the biggest drawback of being a kpop idol. in a way, you can't even be your full self anymore. which is sad. like not only do you not have full control of your own music (which is supposed to be your livelihood), but you don't even have control over how you're perceived. i talk a lot ab how i wish i could hang out with the guys behind the scenes, just to see what they're REALLY like... and when you think about it, that's kind of sad. i consume so much SKZ content, but even with all of that, it's very apparent that we don't know how they are when the cameras cut off. everything we see of them is specifically controlled by their team... except for things like bubble ofc and we see what that has revealed to us about chris lol. it's just so sad, but then again, it's exactly what they signed up for. (bonus points to u for the twenty one pilots reference though my god how i love them)

it's definitely not healthy to tell someone that they're amazing and perfect in every way and agreebwith absolutely everything they say. that's not helping anything. there's obviously a lot of stays who felt uncomfortable with the song, but imagine if no one said anything??? like literally everyone was too scared to say it and everyone just went along with it. theyd have a whole new comeback w songs ab not fucking liking you and just wanting to fuck and shit 😭 which like, power to them, but stays would just be playing themselves at that point lol

haven't ranted on "i like it".... YET?!?! oh lord, i'm strapped in and ready 😭😭😭😂

[explorevenus]

Hiiii! I was out all day so I didn't get to drop in and respond to 🫧, nor did I get the chance to ask my silly littol questions that I'm always stacking up on 💀 (every time I don't have the time to send an ask, I write down my questions in my notes and ask when I can 😭) so I def wanna get to that soon, BUT! Before I do, I wanted to check in on you and make sure you were okay :(

I saw that you and tea made posts explaining yourselves in regards to some angry anons and it made me so upset. Like,, it's literal fiction 😭 it's not that srs. the fact that you two had to even make those posts to break things down for them is insane, like- Yall are taking things way too literal, of COURSE kidnapping is bad. Of COURSE stalking is bad. nobody said it was something that was condoned- it's literally for a fictional story because the plot is based around said dark topics, like?? 😭 kinda the point- idk I just felt the need to jump at your guys' aid bc it just upset me that you guys had to even explain yourselves ☹️ they shouldn't be interacting with things that they aren't comfortable with- the tags are RIGHT there. And also?? Idk like- if yall are mad about these fics, then keep that same energy with literally every dark media ever produced, like???? be so srs rn.

Like it's fine if yall don't wanna read stuff like this, nobody is forcing you- it's not everybody's cup of tea, I get that. but don't spew hate just bc you personally can't bring yourself to read it??

You don't have to post this if you don't want to, honey! Especially if you want some time away from this topic, no worries! I will understand <33 Just wanted to send some love your way because I can understand how frustrating or possibly even scary/discouraging it is to receive stuff like that- but your anons love you and we have your back! So please please continue to do ur thing, bb 🫶🏻🫶🏻 WE LOVE YOUR CONTENT RAAAAHHHHH 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣

(This also goes out to dollrxst and nexyswrites if they see this <33 started with venus' yandere fic and expanded to you two HAHA) (+ but again, if you don't wanna post, don't be shy to share my message with them 🫡!!)

bottom line, don't let these bum ass bozos get to yall grrrrrr, your anon bbs got you 🫶🏻🫶🏻

MWAH TAKE IT EASY, MY LOVES!! 🩷🩷

- 🐕

okay first of all dog anon you're the best and i love you ;w; cc'ing @dollrxst and @nexyswrites just in case they need some words of encouragement <3

secondly i am perfectly fine, thank you for checking in <3 people are gonna do what they're gonna do and that includes taking fanfiction way too seriously lmfao. it's unfortunate and a bit annoying but ultimately it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, i've done my due diligence in tagging my shit and putting proper warnings on everything so if people wanna get upset about what i write, that's their prerogative lol

thanks for sticking around and checkin in and being supportive and sweet <3

[fighterbound]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER.

REPOST DO NOT REBLOG !!

NAME: jana

PRONOUNS : she/her but they/them is okay with me.

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION : discord is your best friend bc i don't access tumblr unless im at my pc ( some days i don't got energy for that). discord i got on my phone. i will say i am nervous when it comes to talking to others, so sometimes i either talk too much, talk too little, or take a while to reply back bc im thinking about what to say. know it's not you, it's me. i am an awkward turtle and totally not charming like naruto.

NAME OF MUSE(s) : this is a multimuse blog so there's several on here. mainly deal with nar.uto and b.nha beyond those two uhhh i have fe3h / diamond no ace / ff7r ( im getting to into it!)

BEST EXPERIENCE : seeing the results of continued interaction and plotting toward dynamics. feeling the general shift of my muses toward other muses and being like hey let's go bug them because they enjoy the company of that specific muse/blog. hitting that stride with someone else, where you both are on the same wavelength regarding your muses. sometimes it happens quickly, other times over the span of months and years of following one another. it's such a sweet moment seeing all the hard work of writing / plotting / interaction with someone and watching your muses growing together or reaching that sweet plot point you've been building up to. c:

RP PET PEEVES / DEALBREAKERS : lack of matching energy. if i plot with you and don't get anything back, that's one of the biggest dealbreakers. i will pull the weight for my muse(s) but i am not doing it for you. i like to think im pretty flexible in terms of letting it a slide in the beginning bc we're still figuring each other out and acting like awkward turtles but if i continue to feel that lack of energy then we're going our separate ways. i only have so many spoons to spend on here and i wanna make sure i enjoy them. also it frustrates me a lot when im asking questions, trying to get things going and just getting one word answers. i start thinking it's me and im doing something wrong. that never leads anywhere nice for mental health so, yep.

also lack of interaction. i have it in my rules if we don't interact generally within the first month then i will unfollow. again i let this slide sometimes bc life gets busy and we got all life to deal with. with that said, i generally try to reach out either by sending a DM or ask.

MUSE PREFERENCES: honestly i enjoy the softie characters and watching them grow into themselves and finding themselves. but uh i really only have one softie. the rest of them are assholes and sunshine assholes. so maybe my preference is assholes. idk. they just gotta call to me and i gotta feel for their story. yanno? or like their ship LOL

PLOTS OR MEMES : i generally prefer plotting, but not lot of it. i like to a get a general gist of direction then leaving everything else open-ended. bc really the muses sometimes don't follow the plan and i fully support following them into whatever problem their track wreck self is heading toward. i like memes, but sometimes i don't. and that's all me bc i want all the interactions to have some kind purpose, to keep building and developing our muses. but i know that's unreasonable expectation to have. plus memes are totally are great for exploring potential ideas, working out of the norm, and feeling each other out! so yess they're good but also sometimes i feel they don't go anywhere and im like did i waste time writing that? the answer is no, bc it's practice, it's a chance to explore. but can't help the way you feel at times.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES : generally short replies, i like the quickness to them. however i do enjoy long ones when they start to dig into the muse and pick apart their thoughts.

BEST TIME TO WRITE : who knows. generally it's the weekend bc that's when i don't work. also when im reading. if i go time without reading a book of fanfic then my writing insp is going to suffer. sometimes i can pull out replies during the week but that is raaaare.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S) : little bit. the introverts you find on here are. the ambitious ones. the people pleasing ones. the ones struggling to find their place in the world and voice. little bits and pieces.

tagged: @fightaers & @dynmghts ( thank you for tagging me!) tagging: @vsagis / @sunsweets / @kiigan / @hatredcurse / @raisedcold / @soulsballad / @yookimi

[morsobaby]

Like I don't wanna start interacting with the tumblr ecosystem less but sometimes I deeply wish I could just make more original posts in peace.

Like, most of my notes activity is people just reblogging stuff that I've reblogged on here, nothing I myself post gets noticed at all, no traction usually unless it's one of my very all applicable trans positive posts or whatever else. But I wish this could just be my blog and I wouldn't have to feel the crushing weight of being ignored. Maybe this is the wrong kind of feeling on the seemingly "introverts who have no life and love being on the computer" website but I'd rather eat bricks than go on any of the other so called social medias bc GOD the state of everything these days.

Idk, I am harboring bitterness. I have so much to be frustrated and feel bad about

[rinhaler]

The anon who just found out u were fuwushiguro here!!

Yes I absolutely understand the frustration from not performing as well with follower count to likes ratio - as an artist who used to be quite popular and likes went from thousands to only like seventy. At some point you feel like you’re not doing it for you, but actually for others. I’m happy you realised the happiness can come from writing and not only hate.

The friend who left you I can also relate to a bit, my ex best friend of 6 years also left me quite recently and it was like there was an empty hole in me because even if you’re not friends anymore, your brain can’t quite handle the change. I’m so sorry that happened to you, but the greatest challenge is to not only hold yourself to one person but to be open and try new possibilities, and that’s what you’ve seemed to done! You have new friends, new mental attitude, and a brand new beautiful blog (that I love the theme of btw!!!) You’re doing great and will continue to do so, because if there are 100 rinhaler fans I’m one of them, if there are 10 rinhaler fans I’m one of them and if there are none, I’m dead.

Also to the question you had, idk it’s just the way you describe certain things..? It’s hard to explain, I have about 50 fanfic blogs that I really love the writing of and fuwushiguro was one of them. Your world building, character description as well as development, SO GOOD!! And your wusyaname series was amazing, I used to check your blog religiously for any updates, and I’m happy you’re reuploading them here bc now I’m gonna reread them every week!

Also the way you wrote yuuji in the aita!sukuna fic was extremely similar to the first few chapters in wusyaname before he goes on that trip (if I remember right)

Have a great day/night :D

omg ARTIST AAAAAA im obsessed I'd love to see your stuff if you ever feel comfortable sharing with me sometime but no pressure ofc! I know it's very personal! ive been trying to get more into art but im finding it hard to balance practicing art stuff and writing. I also have massive art insecurity bc I don't think I'm good enough (same with my writing) so I totally understand if u wanna keep it all to yourself but go you for being a talented babe <3

interactions on tumblr suck and I'm starting to be able to tell myself it's purely luck what performs well and what doesn't, so I'm finding it a lot easier to write things I actually want to write now rather than what I think my followers will like.

Also yeah in regard to my friend, we were online friends and we'd only known each other for around two years but god i adored her and i still do tbh. I think about her and our memories all of the time we were so so close so her decision to just randomly cut me off really hurt. I'd love to talk to her again but I know I have to respect her decision and I wish her the best!

It's been a good opportunity to get back into writing so at least something nice has come from something so sad. And I love this little space so much! I'm glad you like my theme! It was greenish at first n i was like nope this aint the one i am a pink girl through and through!

ALSO AAAA THE WAY IM BLUSHING ABT AITA YUUJI BEING LIKE WUSYANAME YUUJI UR SO RIGHT 😩 definitely not intentional but god maybe i missed him more than i thought! I'm so excited to be reposting it though it's going to be like living through the magic of it all again and hearing what everyone thinks and stuff! I haven't read it in so long so I feel like I'm right there with you all hehehe

anyway thank you for supporting me always ur literally the best i adore u pls take care of urself mwah mwah mwah

[theha1r]

🔥 rping <3

( send the fire emoji for an unpopular opinion )

oooh boy okay - i'm gonna do multiple bc i have a lot of feelings lmao

1 - idk how unpopular this is but - the rpc! is not! what it used to be! like the rpc used to actually FEEL like a community, nowadays things just feel so vastly different. no one comments or interacts with people's ooc & hc posts anymore. crack threads & silly little things are few & far between. people are constantly acting like this is a jobby & not a hobby tbh! i see it all the time! it literally seems like there's no enjoyment in rping anymore & it really seems like no one wants to branch out anymore -

2 - if you're writing an oc - pls at LEAST tell me what they are. like you don't have to have a full bio but at least some basic info? or even for unpopular or unknown canons. ones that aren't easily googleable. like i'm talking even just giving me a name, age & basic personality traits. because if you're throwing a character at me that i don't know at all - i don't know if certain situations or reactions would be appropriate & all. like just pls, give me something to work with at least?

2A - ALSO to add to this, if you have a canon muse that is canon divergent in some way or your own spin or au or you have certain hcs that go against canon ... PLEASE LIST THEM! OR LINK THEM! SOMEWHERE??? bc otherwise i'm just gonna assume canon stuff & throw canon situations at you! & then you'll be frustrated & i'll be frustrated & it'll be a whole mess - like pls just list your stuff somewhere bestie - just listing 'divergent' with no other information tells me nothing ...

3 - if you have faceclaims for your muses, pls list them! somewhere on your blog! idc where, it doesn't even have to be a fancy list - but there's a whole ton of actors & singers & influencers that i don't know, plus i'm just generally face blind - so having to play a guessing game of who this fc is can be very frustrating - like if i wanna make edits or if this fc does something problematic or something i'd like to be able to know who they are -

4 - i do not like teeny tiny icons. i'm sorry - but i don't. i barely like anything smaller than 100x100 but if you're going smaller than 75x75 ... why - i have to be over here like ken jeong in that community gif trying to figure out who tf i'm looking at. especially with the above point if you don't have your fc/fcs listed. like no offense to anyone who does the small icons but pls don't be offended if idk what your muse looks like -

5 - ... this one is gonna get me flamed but ... i don't like first person or second person pov, especially in rp. i don't like second at all & first i really only tolerate with like actual novels/books - i don't even like it in fanfic. & i get why some people might do it, but idk i just don't vibe. it throws me off for some reason. i think they can work with certain characters, but moreso for drabbles & things. it just throws me off to see in actual rp threads tbh ...

6 - this is more so for not just rp but also for fandom spaces but ... IF YOU WANNA WRITE A GENDERBENT CHARACTER OR A IRL PERSON/CELEBRITY ... literally. just. make. an. oc. make an oc sibling. make an oc based off the irl person. make an oc that exists in the universe w very similar traits as the character you wanna genderbend, slap a different last name on them and say they're cousins with similar traits. or something! anything! it's twenty-twenty-fucking-four why are we still writing genderbent characters & rping as irl people. like literally why

[enn0s]

omggggg!!! bruh my idenITY HAS BEEM REVEALED HASNT IT DAMNNN DAMMN DAAAMN!! you know whats funnie? as I was typing I was like "When will be the day I forget to press anon" I...forgot how different the interface is on here...I am sweating lmaooo

I was not ready for this yet OTLx infinite

*i pretend i do not see* (but hello darlin its nice to meet you for real ♡♡♡) ill copy the old message so we can still talk anon if you're more comfortable with that 😊

im sorry life has been hitting like that lately! i know when it rains it really pours so i hope you've been able to find an umbrella and that you've been finding places to rest enough during this period of go-go-go! i bet once you get settled into a school routine your schedule will hopefully be a bit more manageable.

Linguistics is such a cool field! My partner was going to go into that before life decided that she was gonna be an AC technician lol, she'd still like to get back into it and become an interpreter at some point tho! Languages and their evolution are fascinating, i hope you go and get to enjoy it to the fullest! Fuck everyone else, it's your life and you get to go do what you wanna do.

lmaooo its cool about my partner calling me fucked up and feral, shes not wrong and we were saying it in the context that her and her sister were street dogs and im an alley cat, its why we mesh so well even tho we're all very different people at first glance lol.

I listened to your list and im diggin the vibes!!! WOODZ has been a fav in my house for years im always excited for his new stuff. That first EVNNE song is /it/ tho, i really do like it a lot, their voices don't sound like they're new to the game, they sound really polished for how young they are. Idk whats in the water in Busan but thats where bts jimin and jungkook are from too so it must be somethin special!! That Phantom song brought back SOOO much nostalgia lol it was everywhere for so long and i hadnt listened to it in a hot minute. 2Pac and Limp Bisikit too, still holdin it down after all these years.

whewww this took so long lol top 10 songs /IS/ a hard question to ask! every time i would lock in a list i would come across another song i wanted to add but for the moment i think this is a pretty solid personal soundtrack.

1. Snooze - Agust D (this is Suga from BTS' solo work and it hit me like a fuckin bus the first time i heard it, hes been my guy since their debut and they've gotten so astronomically huge compared to where they started, it kinda gives me whiplash sometimes and ive just stopped interacting with the fandom as a whole besides my little group chats with my friends bc it just got Too Big but despite all that he's still putting out music that touches my soul and aims to comfort the lost and tired and i just... i love him idk)

2. Bleed - Epik High (love these old dudes, my friends call them my kpop dads and this song in particular is a fan song but they've taken bits and pieces from the track and remixed it into new songs over the past few albums which is just a super cool auditory experience for me)

3. Dancing With a Stranger - Sam Smith & Normani

4. Just Pretend - Bad Omens

5. Pensamientos Intrusivos - Kali Uchis

6. Flip Flop - Megan Thee Stallion (its definitely one of her more lowkey beats and a sad ass song but i just. i love her so much and im so proud of her for keepin it pushin)

7. Que Maldicion - Banda MS, Snoop Dogg and Becky G

8. The Sharpest Lives - MCR (i know this album front to back lol)

9. Not Worth It - Emotional Oranges

10. Pied Piper - BTS (sorry for all the infodumping about them but id have to make a whole other list if i got into their discography lol. for the moment this one just jumps out at me as a fav and a vibe)

I hope you enjoy if u get a sec to listen to any of it!

im sending you good vibes goin into your new semester and that your phone stops actin up! its always so frustrating like... u have one job, please work 😭

wishing you good days ahead and time to yourself to recover ♡♡♡

talk to ya next time!

(prev message under the cut for ref ♡)

--

I sliding through wild, rowdy and funky

D. Racc here once again 🦝✨💨

I hope you didn't forget about me because I didn't forget about yoo hoo~ Since our last talk, I have to admit…if God, gods, or some all mighty force exist, they're giving me a run for my mental and physical health this year, but I am alive and unharmed just…life is LIFING right now But! I will be going back to college this year and I am going to study linguistics. I find it funny when people ask what I'm studying and they reply with an underwhelmed response. No worries though, it just gives me the drive to go toward it even more. I have been getting out of the house often and trying to take care of myself, but I will say its hard to keep consistent with constant setbacks. How's things going on your end?

I totally understand not being able to turn a hobby into a career. I admire those who do, but also respect those who keep it as a hobby because doing it for work will definitely dampen motivation in my opinion. TY TY for the recognition, same goes to you too!  because it is VERY hard to actively stay tuned in into hobbies or interests when you're an adult in this day and age. I get you there though loool I hate being told what to do as well even for regular work. At this point I know I need to be my own boss or work under someone sensible which..for some reason, it's rare. But I get you, I started to learn a little late that, even the smallest doodles count as art or even progress. And us as an artist, decides when a piece is done. There's a lot of delusion when it comes to art and as I grew older I realized all these standards are made up! I can art any way I want too! art snobs can eat iiiit~

Awww I'm glad someone who isn't a fan (well YET! hopefully lol) truly recognizes a group or artist's talent when they are actually talented. One of the members, Seung Eon, vocals reminds me of Daehyun's. Saw that he is also from Busan. Them Busan boys got some PIPES! on them. I don't know why it gives off opera potential. Daehyun being in plays just proves it. But man…do I feel your pain. I can't bring myself to support a group when the youngest of the group is like 15. And no offense to those who do…but I have a liiine. Youngest member in EVNNE just turned 18 and the oldest Keita, recently as well, turned 23. This is the only group I stan right now and have been trying to look for more groups 21+. I've seen a couple debuts and took notice of some groups I never got to look into since I dropped the fandom. HOnestly thoough…once again..they are my new B.A.P loool! I don't know how people multitask affection. They are literally the only ones in my EYE VIEW. I do wish them big success on top of healthy, free lives, but I will say I love smaller fandoms. It's much more intimate and less toxic, but I do want the boys to get their moneys worth lool. All that work? Yeah they deserve all the love.

I love K-pop when it comes to the music and culture, however the standards and fan culture honestly turned me off even to this day. It's hard to support the industry with all the twisted shitake mushrooms that go on especially in the background.

ahhhhh! the dreeaded questiiion lool! not in a bad way it's just…so many y'know? and sometimes I forget a song is my favorite until it comes on shuffle again. No specific order, just some off the top of my head.

SUN OR SUCK -WOODZ (fell in love and discovered this man's music late last year I feel like I missed out too, but when he comes out of enlistment!? going to see his first show once he comes overseas, so talented and such a sweet person)

Badder Love -EVNNE

XO -EVNNE

IXLU - BYG (!!! are you prepared for B.A.P's farewell comeback?? they look like classic men, very nostalgic, almost makes me want to draw)

Hole In Your Face -PHANTOM

Do You Wanna Taste It -Wig Wam (Peacemaker put me on)

One Look- Leo

All Eyes On Me -Tupac

Stay With Me - Yoo Young Jae (ft. Zelo) (I don't know why this song always brings a smile to my face. It's one of those songs if serenaded I will combust)

Break Stuff- Limp Biskit

I was fighting so hard to keep it at 10 loool. Sorry it's mainly K-POP, it's really been taking over my radio ;; What about yoou~?

Yeeees as you should've. You already knooow! Tevin Cambell? amazing singer. Stand Out as well…//chef kiss of the divine. Shrek is important to the culture. I know this is somewhat unrelated…but since he's the voice of Shrek, I LOVED Austin Powers. I did not know that man was a constant in my childhood along with Jim Carey. The Mask is amongst my favorite childhood movies.

HAaaaa..I'm sorry but that's so funny. Not him calling you a  jacked up and feral ahhh..that's love right there. Tiger + Stray = I bet fierce and majestic on the outside, but natural, wild and free on the inside..maybe a little crack-headedness but hey! that's their charm haha!

TY x3 for wishes of good quality Zzzs N' Meats! I will do my best! Hope you've been well and stay well.

Until next time! D. Racc City OUT! 🚪🦝✨ _💨💨

P.S. My phone is completely inoperable ;-; on my computer like a old head lool I joke. Nonetheless, we will talk as soon a possible ciao ciao and take care

[semidecentpoet]

Semi-rant bc I have been Vibrating all day, feel free to ignore

So, I'm a journalism major, and I wrote this article for a class (I got a ways to go before I publish it anywhere lol) ab a woman who broke into and stole from three different places last year. I haven't been able to get much information outside of court docs ab her or the cases themselves bc it's all ongoing and shit, but in one of the documents for a previous charge like six years ago, it said she was experiencing homelessness at the time. So, naturally, my angle changed.

I talked to someone from a local human service outreach program and the communications manager for the United States Interagency Council on Homelessness, and I included some data from the Department of Housing and Urban Development. I interwove these pieces of information into the story to explain how homelessness could and does affect someone's interactions with the criminal justice system.

As an aside, I don't know if she's still experiencing homelessness. I put down that she has experienced it, but I don't know if that's still the case (I can only do so much ab people nOT GETTING BACK TO ME). Given how the homelessness-incarceration cycle is (as I learned from the aforementioned experts I talked to), it wouldn't be surprising if she still is.

I finish the article, submit it, and then send it to my parents bc I love them and I want them to see what I do and I love them—

My mom says, "Looks good, sweetie"

And my dad says, "Nice job. Very compassionate. What are your thoughts about personal responsibility of their choices? I didn't see any mention of that. 🤷‍♂️"

This

Bitch

I'm not going to go through the multiple essays I've sent him throughout this lil debate in the gc—yes, he starts this shit in the gc with my mom bc why not rope her into all this?—bc I already wrote that shit and I don't wanna do any more Preaching on how systemic issues cannot realistically be solved with individual choices.

(Did I include the quote from the communications manager of the top government agency on homelessness in the country ab how "homelessness is the failure of systems and not the people who are failed by those systems"? Yes, yes I did. I wonder how he missed that.)

Ik this is not a unique experience at all, but it's just frustrating, yk? You grow up believing your parents are Good and they know Good from Bad

And then they say shit like this.

There is a bit of comedy here, tho, featuring:

my Super Conservative "Christian" dad who "found God" a few years ago (idk what he found, but that ain't my Jesus)

me, a leftist, a firm humanitarian with a strong sense of justice (and a damn good writer, but that's besides the point)

and my left-of-center mom playing somewhat of a mediator (while texting me separately to just stop bc he's stubborn and it won't go anywhere and "I know it's frustrating but don't worry, I Can Fix Him" [not a direct quote, but—])

I stopped responding a while ago. I think it kinda drifted into forgiving loan debt somehow? Idk, I'm Done, yk

Blegh. There's some comfort, tho, in being so firm in what I believe in. Ik it's not fair to ridicule my child self, but I used to be such a kiss-ass to the authority figures in my life. I'm genuinely proud of myself for making Points and standing by them and not budging one damn bit. Independent person at 19, wild

This experience, while discouraging in a lot of ways, makes me feel more confident in fighting for what I know to be right. How's that for a sliver of a silver lining?

[marsupieaux]

Using this inaugural grad school tumblr post to just yell about my woes bc idk, life is objectively not bad but I am really feeling the frustrations of living in a new city and the time crunch of only having 2 years in this mf.. mostly just feel old and lonely, and I can't think of a sadder more pathetic combo ~

on the plus side: i've never been hotter in my entire life, i finally found a groove and a crumb of inspiration in my coursework, arguably had the best summer of my life meeting new friends, and even more debatedly experienced a type of romantic connection for the first time in nearly a decade that i actually believed in.

what sucks is a lot, but lets start with that this masters program is presenting a lot more annoying and (frankly) heartbreaking challenges than i anticipated that have fractured my perception of this place and my purpose being here. i had such high hopes and expectations and truly just fantasized about this opportunity for years, and now that i'm here, i just feel more let down than inspired. at least for right now. i don't know if this is for me; i feel like i can be successful at it, forsure, but i end most days feeling empty inside. at least a little bit. i'm adding all these caveats bc it's true, some days and mb even quite often i can find something positive about this experience and how i'm growing bc of it, but good lord.. i do not fuck with at least half of the people im obligated to interact with in this program, everybody kinda already has their own people and i don't feel like there's opportunity for me to actually find friends to be with, and the coursework itself was off to a bumpy start and is just not giving what i thought it would. i'm mustering up the patience to push thru this bc i know it's not even a month in, but fuck! i'm lonely and old and i only have 2 years here to make the most of it.

secondly, and i'm probably gonna just word-vomit right now bc i'm still not entirely sure of what to make of things, but i definitely got my little heart broken recently. i started going on dates with a guy in an open relationship, and long story short, i for some reason was led to believe that maybe i could be his boyfriend too. it turns out that was never the case and probably won't ever be the case. i'm trying to make peace with that fact bc, like, i obviously respect that boundary and the kind of love that this person and their partner have with one another, but fuck! what the fuck were we doing all summer long then? just opening up our hearts to one another, sucking each other's dicks, going on picnic dates, kissing and cuddling in our beds—doing all of this just for fun?

i'll forever be grateful that this person touched my heart and helped me unearth a side of myself that i hadn't experienced in so fucking long. like, just genuinely grateful bc romantic love has felt so weird and shameful and like something i had to forbid myself from experiencing. and so when i got to really feel that feeling again... i felt so lucky and so happy and so grateful. but fuck! now i'm left with lingering hopes and mixed emotions about it all. did he lead me to believe that this could've been something greater? or is it more that i walked into this blithely ignorant, setting myself up for disaster? idk what version of reality stings the most. i wanna believe in not just the goodness of this person's heart but also the righteousness of it, idk. if i liked him so much.. if i trusted him like i did, then how could he do this to me? i say this jokingly but also not, i am just a baby when it comes to dating again. and i also wanna believe that i did the right thing, chased after love rather than ran from it. that i was brave and gentle and that it was okay to let my guard down for once bc i was gonna get the ending that i deserve. i spent years, especially the last 1.75, building myself back up to a place to let this kind of romantic love back into my life. i finally felt confident and ready. to think that i myself made a mistake and played with my own heart... that just makes me hate myself with how much disappointment I feel.

just so im clear with myself, i do believe that i'm coping much better with these stresses in my life much better than i ever would have before. *screams internally* but it sure as FUCK isn't any easier. i think i would be in a much better head space if i felt like i had a stronger network of friends here, but i just don't have that. and my own network of amazing beautiful loving friends and family—they're just so far and have their own things going on. with time, they're all growing more in their romantic partnerships and other friendships nearer to them in a way that's so cool to bare witness, but it also means that i get left further and further behind. im not asking to be more of a priority in their lives by any means, but shit i guess i wish that i even had anybody that saw me in that way. someone or some kind of community that i can feel connected with and love on back. i fear that i don't rly have that anymore. it's hard to find that again in new places, too.

i'm cautiously optimistic. i've been hurt and scorned and disappointed, but i don't think i'll turn (prolongedly, incessantly) weak or sour. life is always gonna remind me that i can't have it all, but god damn it, this is all that i got. i'm gonna find the wherewithal to persevere even if it means fashioning out of my ass the inspiration and purpose to keep going. like mitski said, you kinda just have to buckle up and take the good that comes with the bad. so if these first few weeks i find myself white knuckling my way to peace and happiness, then so fucking be it. by any means necessary, im gonna be okay.

i'm gonna be okay.

[dayslily]

hey, so I’m not sure if this is going to make sense but in the last year that I’ve been in exclusively discord rps I’ve noticed that no one actually writes anything out or does any interactions outside of text message threads. People will post like summaries of something that was supposed to have happened in a channel sometimes, or reference it in a text message thread without really giving context. It’s kind of frustrating because I joined an rp group to write with people in the group & read threads they’ve written. Another thing, it seems like the members of the current group I’m in think that it’s a novel concept to read each others threads — which is confusing to me bc I thought we were suppose to do that? Idk if you can give any sort of advice on how to approach this lack of writing thing with admins so we can actually get things happening in the group but I would appreciate any help you give. Thanks & have a great day.

hiii dw this made sense to me!! i think text-style threads are common because they're easy to reply to throughout a busy day. even in my group, u will see texts more than paras. some months we have 12k word count 4 threads & some months we have no word count at all!! para-style threads seem to be reserved for special occasions or just when we have lots of free time! idk about ur current group thinking it's odd to read others threads ... that's such common practice 4 my group we even highlight our favorite parts of each others threads, texts or para. members are still being active (just through text threads), so i don't think the admins would be able to do anything. and if they're providing summaries and plotting things that did happen, it seems to me that things are still happening in the group. unless the group was promo'd as para-heavy then i don't think it would be exactly fair to ask everyone else to change their rp style in favor of your preferences - the group you're in may not be for you and that's totally okay!! if you really like the group and would prefer giving it another shot, you could try initiating threads -- posting starter calls, dming ooc to see if they wanna turn a text thread into a thread, etc. you could even ask to do one-liner threads to 'ease' into threading and maybe it would get more exciting as u go on!! sorry if i rambled a lot but i hope this can help a little!!