#idk it’s just so funny how they were like “i’ll agree with you but I have to remain an enigma”

[mossytrashcan]

kicking my feet twirling my hair and giggling as I think about my two nice anons

[multifariousqueer]

Ooo for a Nate request could you do something like Nate x shy virgin reader or something like that ?🤭

Ofc darling!!🩷

Warnings: smut, mentions of bruising and abuse, deflowering, sub! Reader, strong language, nate being rough, idk I think that’s it

The warm autumn air brushed your skin as Nate’s hand snaked its way around your waist. He had began walking you to school during the summer so that you didn’t get kidnapped. That was one of his biggest fears, you getting kidnapped and assaulted. He would offer to drive you but you liked to walk when the weather was nice:

“So I’ll pick you up at 3, okay?” He spoke. It wasn’t a question so much as it was a statement.

You knew not to test Nate after seeing what he did to Maddy and Cassie. Nate would never intentionally hurt you physically, but hey, accidents happen right?

“Okay” you said softly. Nate loved when you would speak softly and do whatever he wanted.

He smiled and led you into the building, where he saw Maddy who gave you both a death glare:

*Flashback*

“You know he’s toxic, right? He held a gun to my head, are you fucking stupid? Why would you date him?” Maddy said to you once she found out about your relationship

“I’m sorry” you said in tears. You had always looked up to Maddy and seeing her mad at you made you want to die.

“You will be” she said before leaving. That was the last time you guys spoke three months ago.

Since that day, Nate became more and more protective over you. He was always the jealous and possessive type but this pushed it over the edge. Nate loved Maddy but he loved you more, and if anything happened to you, he would kill whoever hurt you with a baseball bat.

Nate always had his hand around your waist or holding your other hand as he carried your books in his abnormally large hand. If anyone looked at you funny, he would shoot them a death glare and grip you tighter, sometimes even leaving bruises. Nate liked leaving bruises because it proved that you belonged to him.

He watched as you migrated over to your friends and watched in awe at how pretty you looked. Your hair was in a ponytail and your clothes were tailored to your body perfectly, your smile lit up the room as you giggled at one of your girl friends jokes.

Nate barred you from having guy friends that weren’t his because he didn’t like the idea of someone hitting on you, Nate took offense whenever someone tried to take what was his. To him, you were his toy, his object of affection that only belonged to him and no one else. He admired how clean and untouched you were, never having a serious relationship before him and never even having sex at all. Thoughts of you in compromising positions and in outfits that only he could see littered his mind throughout the day and made his pants tighten. He couldn’t wait for what he had planned after school.

*Flashback*

Nate and you had gone to the mall one day after school. You browsed for a new pair of shoes but Nate had gone for other, more promiscuous reasons. He took you into Victoria Secret and bought you a bunch of lingerie in pink:

“Here. Try this” he said, holding up a stringy pair of underwear with a bra that had a bow on the breast.

You eyed it nervously before hesitantly agreeing to try it on.

You tried it on and Nate’s breath hitched. He pulled you in between his legs and grabbed the bow on the bra and pulled it, leaving your breasts exposed.

Nate pulled your sensitive buds in his mouth while you let out a small moan:

“Please not here” you breathed

Nate bit down on your nipple and gave you a look that told you to just go along with it. He rolled your nipple in between his teeth as you let out small moans and breaths, the fitting room getting a bit hot as his mouth moved from your nipples to your mouth:

“I don’t wanna take your virginity here, babe” he breathed

“Than where?” you asked

Nate whisked you up over his shoulder as he took off the lingerie and replaced it with your normal clothes. He walked up to the register, still holding you and said:

“These please”

You walked out of the mall and he ushered you into his truck, your outfit riding up a bit as you slid into the seat.

It seemed like you would never use that set but the day finally came. He took you to his house where he had a picnic in the backyard:

“Hi, y/n!” Nate’s mother said

“Hi, Mrs. Jacob’s” you answered with a smile

Nate’s family loved you because you made Nate seriously happy and you were respectful, unlike Maddy who disrespected them all the time.

Nate ushered you into the back and sat you down gracefully.

“Aww Nate, thank you so much” you cooed

“Mhmmm anything for you, babe” he spoke

You two chatted about any and everything, mostly about football and how he had found his fathers tapes:

“That’s horrible. What can I do to help?” You asked

“Well, now that you mention it-“ Nate started before lifting you up bridal style and carrying you to the bedroom.

You were innocent and Nate knew that. You had never done anything sexual with anyone in your life:

“Have you ever done this before?” Nate asked

“no” you said, feeling 1 inch tall

“Have you ever touched yourself?” He asked, looking down at you as he placed you on the bed.

“Ummm… yes” you said, hesitating to answer honestly because you were afraid that he wouldn’t be happy

“Hm. Okay” he said before laying you down on your back and spreading your legs

Nate pulled your panties off and spit on your core, sending low whimpers from your mouth into the space. He grabbed your neck and whispered in your ear:

“Can I fuck you?”

“yeah. just be gentle” you begged

Nate scoffed and said:

“always”

He rubbed circles along your clit as moans escaped your lips, sliding two fingers in and pumping them gently:

“Fuck you’re so tight for me” he breathed

Your mind was preoccupied on how full you felt. If his fingers were this big, you couldn’t imagine how big his cock was. Luckily, you didn’t have to imagine long because as your orgasm was approaching, Nate stopped, leaving you empty and frustrated.

“Not yet, cutie” he smiled.

Nate pulled out his hard cock as you watched in awe at the sheer size of it. He saw the look in your eyes and said:

“You’ll get used to it”

He pushed himself inside of you as you let out a moan of pain. You gripped onto his bicep as you felt like you were being split open by him. He let out a loud groan as he felt your warm walls grip onto him. His eyes found yours as tears filled your eyes and he grabbed your hand:

“Do you wanna stop?”

“I- ughh- no” you said through tears

Nate paused for a moment to give you time to adjust to him. You tapped him to let him know that he could keep going and he did. His hips moved at a slow pace as your face went from an expression of pain to pleasure. His pace picked up as moans escaped your lips and his mouth found your neck and chest, leaving large bruises on both. He wanted the world to know that he had you the night before, in such a vulnerable position underneath him.

His pace went from fast, to very fast as the vulgar sound of skin slapping and your tight cunt drove him to the edge. His eyebrows furrowing as his orgasm approached in a wave. He looked down at you and placed his hand on your neck as he angled his cock up so that it was touching your g spot. He thrusted upwards in a way that made your walls twitch and grip onto him. Your back arched and your mouth parted as your orgasm approached fast:

“I think I’m gonna cum” you moaned

“Not yet.” He said

“Please?” you pleaded

Nate pulled out his cock and you whimpered.

“Since you wanna act like a slut and not listen to me, I’ll treat you like the slut you are” he breathed before flipping you onto your stomach and holding onto your neck.

His thrusts were rough and merciless as you whined into the pillow, his grip tightening on your neck as his thrusts became sloppier and your orgasm became closer and closer.

“Cum. Now.” He barked

You did exactly that as a wave of pleasure washed over you and made you unable to move. You lay there, a moaning mess as your boyfriend released ropes of his cum into you, marking you as his.

“I’m sorry for being so rough” Nate said breathily

“Mmmmm it’s okay” you moaned

He picked you up and laid you on the mattress properly as he left to grab a cool towel and your favorite big shirt of his. You laid there reminiscing on how amazing your first time was.

Nate cleaned you up and joined you on the mattress, pulling you into his embrace.

“Nate?” You asked

“Yeah?” He said

“Can we do that again?” You asked innocently

He chuckled and said:

“Maybe tomorrow, Princess”

[severelystrangewriter]

Meddling Friends (Kids) (Flufftober 2023 Day 7)

Pairing: shinichiro sano x female reader

WC: 1440

Warnings: none

Summary: shinichiro is lonely so emma, mikey, and izana take matters into their own hands

Note: idk how dating apps work but this idea was just too cute to pass up

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“How tall is he?” Emma asked as she, Mikey, and Izana stared at the bio page of the dating app they downloaded on their older brother Shinichiro’s phone. They were currently huddled on the couch as they discussed it seriously.

“Like, six feet,” Mikey responded.

Emma hummed thoughtfully before typing, “I’ll put six foot two.”

“But that’s lying,” Izana argued.

“It’s for Shin’s sake,” Emma defended, “Now I need some interests, uh…”

“Motorcycles,” The three teenagers said at the same time and Emma diligently typed it out. Then she sat back thoughtfully, “Is that really all he has going for him?”

“Pretty much,” Mikey shrugged.

Emma shook her head, “We’ve gotta come up with something else… How about ‘I like to take long walks in the park and enjoy nature’ or something like that?”

“But that’d be even more lying,” Izana sighed.

“Do you want him to get a girlfriend or not?” Emma snapped, “This is Shin’s only hope, so we have to make him look good.”

“Put ‘loves kids’, some ladies like that stuff,” Mikey added, “And it’s true.”

Emma agreed and put it down, “Now all we need are some pictures.”

She went through his selfies and found the best photos of their older brother and added them to the profile. Then she smiled in satisfaction as she hit the finish button.

“Alright, it’s done!”

“What’s done?” Shinichiro’s voice sounded from the doorway causing the three siblings to jump in fright.

Emma was the first to recover as she proudly held out the phone, “Your dating profile!”

“I’ve been looking everywhere for this thing,” Shinichiro said as he took the phone back, then his sister’s words registered, “Wait, what dating profile?”

He looked down and his eyes widened at the sight of the dating app that hadn’t been there before.

“We took the liberty of making you one,” Izana explained, “You’re welcome.”

“Well I’m deleting it,” Shinichiro replied.

“No!” Emma tried to take the cell back, but he held it high in the air out of her reach. Mikey had the perfect solution and jumped on his older brother’s back, wrestling him to the floor as it became an all-out brawl for the phone. Just then his cell dinged with a notification, causing everyone to perk up.

Emma gasped excitedly, “Someone’s interested!”

“Really?” Shinichiro couldn’t keep the delight out of his tone as he sat up and looked back down at the device. He clicked on the notification and the dating app showed your bright smiling face. He made a noise, sounding impressed.

“She’s cute,” Mikey commented, peeking over his shoulder to see your picture.

Emma quickly scanned your bio and gasped again, “She sounds perfect for you!”

“You think?” Shinichiro found himself asking as he also looked over your information. “Well what do I do?”

“I think you swipe to match,” Izana explained, taking the phone and doing just that. Then he handed it back and continued, “Then you just message her.”

“Message her?” Shinichiro repeated in surprise, “What would I even say?”

“Well most people start with a hello,” Izana said like it was obvious.

“No! Do a joke! Show her you’re funny!” Emma advised.

“Is he though?” Mikey questioned blankly.

“I can be funny,” Shinichiro argued, furrowing his brows.

Before he could think of something to say, you sent the first message. 

“Is that her? What’d she say?” Emma asked.

“She said ‘hey’ with a smiley face,” Shinichiro answered, “Quick what do I say?”

“Just say it back,” Mikey shrugged, “Come on, you’ve held a conversation before.”

Ignoring that last part, Shinichiro did just that and soon you were replying.

That was the start of many messages shared between you and Shin. You two seemed to hit it off really well and had quite a bit in common. He found your mannerisms endearing and just genuinely enjoyed talking to you.

However, after about a month, Shinichiro still had yet to ask you on a date, the whole reason why the younger Sano siblings downloaded the app in the first place. Which is exactly what led them to take matters into their own hands once more.

“Have you guys seen my phone?” Shinichiro asked one day as he walked into the living room only to see Emma, Mikey, and Izana huddled around it again. “What are you doing?”

“Talking to (Y/n),” Emma replied nonchalantly, being the one actually holding the device.

“What?! With my phone? Did you at least tell her it was you?”

“No,” Mikey answered bluntly, and before Shinichiro could get his phone back, the phone dinged with a message.

Emma read it first and squealed excitedly, “She said yes!”

Shinichiro was lost, “Yes? Yes to what?”

Emma simply handed his phone over to her older brother with a smug smile on her face. “You have a date tomorrow!”

“You didn’t,” Shinichiro sounded breathless as he snatched the phone out of her hands. His heart was pounding in his chest as he looked over the messages of them asking you out by pretending to be him and you enthusiastically agreeing.

“It’s at the zoo at ten o’clock tomorrow morning,” Izana explained.

“You’re welcome,” Mikey added.

Shinichiro didn’t know what to do or say. It’s not like he could cancel the date because he didn’t want to seem like he wasn’t interested- he was very interested. He was just surprised you said yes.

So Shinichiro sucked it up and decided that he would make it the best date ever.

The next morning you both met up at the train station and made your way to the zoo. You were wearing a cute outfit and Shinichiro just put on a pair of nice jeans with a crisp white shirt that Emma insisted he ironed.

The date was going a lot smoother than Shinichiro thought it would go, much to his relief. You both laughed and joked as you went around to see the animals. There was even a point where you took the initiative and started holding his hand.

Finally, you suggested stopping somewhere for lunch which he agreed. You found a nice little restaurant and were currently waiting for your food.

“So is there a reason we’re being tailed by three kids wearing sunglasses, all pretending to read a newspaper?” You asked lowly out of nowhere, startling him.

Shinichiro furrowed his brows and you subtly nodded your head to the side, gesturing to a table not too far away. And sure enough, when he looked over he saw Mikey, Emma, and Izana sitting at the table, peeking over a big newspaper while wearing sunglasses. When they noticed they had been caught, they quickly ducked their heads behind the paper.

“They stick out like a sore thumb,” Shinichiro felt a wave of irritation as his eye twitched. They really don’t trust him to do anything, huh?

“I take it you know them?” You asked as you took a sip of your drink.

“Those are my siblings I was telling you about,” He replied with a huff.

“The ones that made your profile?” You tipped your lips up into a teasing smile, “And asked me out for you?”

Shinichiro buried his face in his hands and groaned, “Yes.”

You started giggling despite his distress.

“It’s not funny,” He whined, peeking at you through his fingers which made you laugh harder.

“It’s hilarious,” You responded, then when you gained some semblance of control, you grinned at him, “And actually really sweet. It just shows that they care about you.”

At this, Shinichiro lowered his hands, “You’re not weirded out?”

“Nah,” You shook your head, then you shrugged, “Do you wanna invite them to join us?”

“But what about our date?” He questioned.

“Do you want to spend the rest of our date being watched like zoo animals?” You countered, “Come on, it’ll be a nice bonding experience.”

Shinichiro felt a soft smile grow on his face, “You’re so cool.”

“I know,” You said sweetly.

And so you and Shinichiro invited the three teens to join you. They didn’t seem the slightest bit guilty for crashing your date as they immediately started asking you all sorts of questions to get to know you better. Shinichiro watched in fascination and adoration as you clicked with his siblings without hesitation.

They suggested going to the aquarium which was nearby and you walked with Shinichiro, holding his hand and laughing as Emma, Mikey, and Izana started pointing out fishes that they claimed looked like their older brother. Despite all the teasing, Shinichiro felt so grateful towards his younger siblings for meddling in his love life and leading him right to you.

[dabuggh3]

Heyyy Can you write smth cutesie abt picking hamzah up after he gets too overwhelmed at comic con. I couldn’t stop thinking abt it the whole time watching it was rly funny😭😭😭 Please and Thank you

HIII YESS, no because when I was watching the video and I literally started getting anxious because of how overwhelmed he was. I paused the video😭. But anyways thanks for requesting and I hope you enjoyyy!!💗

Hamzah calls you to come pick him up from comic con because they were done shooting the video for slushynoobz. You get in your car and head over, you arrive and he gets in the car. The first couple mins were quiet, “ So how did it go?, did you like it?”. “ uh it was good there were so sooo many people on one of the floors it was actually crazy, we had to sit down for literally half of it” You look over at him and he was holding something.

“ What did you buy?” He looks down and starts bursting out laughing as he shows you, my little pony oven mitts. “ Hamzahhh” you say laughing. “ Waitttt, okay me and Martin were passing by and there was just like a huge ass stack and we were like what’s this, and we started talking shit and the lady was like oh they’re home made, they’re home made like 5 times, and idk what came over me and I just bought them.”

“ They’re kindaaa cute” you say looking at them. “ I wasted like 30 dollarssss, I saved 5 dollars tho, we bargained with the lady ” he says smiling. “ 30 dollars is actually crazy, but they’re homemade remember”. “ Stoppp, oh my god and someone called Martin the skinniest Spiderman they’ve ever seennn”. You laugh , “ that’s so meann”.

“Babe I swear I was looking at some people and I literally wanted to gag so bad I don’t even know why”. He continues talking then he goes silent, just staring at you,“ What’s wrong” “ You’re so pretty you’re glowingggg” he says admiring you. You turn and smile at him. “Even on shrooms, you’re the prettiest girl I’ve seen”

For the rest of the drive he continues talking, pointing at random signs, and telling you what he’s seeing. You guys arrive, parking into you’re apartment complex, “ Yea and Martin went over and asked him for a hug and I was like boy he don’t want no dam hug from youu, the guy looked so scared I recorded it.” You both laugh so hard, “ Okay we’re here let’s go” “ Huh, I swear the car was still moving”

You guys enter the apartment, and Hamzah changes then plops down on the couch. “ Do you wanna eat something orrr” “ No I’m okay I’ll eat later” “ Okay” you walk over and sit next to him, “ Want to watch something” you look over at him as he sits with his head back eyes closed, “ uhhh yea,” he opens his eyes and turns looking at you. He smiles and leans over to kiss you. He then positions himself, laying on your chest. “ Do you wanna watch Arcaneee??” You say in an excited tone.“ Yesssss” he says smiling.

You and Hamzah lay on the couch as you rub his back. And he keeps pointing out random stuff from the show that he’s never noticed, “ wait was that always there I swear it wasn’t”. 30 minutes pass by and while laying down, you feel his stomach growl. “ Babe are you sure you’re not hungry?” “ No” “ I literally felt you’re stomach growl right now, ima go make you something” you try getting up. Hamzah holds onto you harder while making himself heavier, “ I’m not hungry, don’t leave” he says muffled because his face is buried in your chest. “ I’ll take like 20 mins and I’ll be right back, I’m literally right here next to you in the kitchen”. “ No”. “ Okay then come with me”

Eventually Hamzah agrees and comes with you to the kitchen. You end up making him a sandwich. While making it Hamzah is just hugging you from behind, watching. “ Are you sure the mayo’s not expired, it’s kinda a weird color” “ No it’s not, trust me”. You finish and go back on the couch. Hamzah sits back down and eats his sandwich. He then goes on a whole rant how Martin didn’t want to finish watching Arcane and he’s missing out. Then he starts talking about the slushies, “ I hope they actually enjoy the video, I feel like we looked so dumb” he laughs. “ Nooo, they’ll enjoy it dont worry”. Eventually he starts getting tired so he starts quieting down and ends up falling asleep.

I hope this isn’t horrible 😭.

[telyscope]

neteyam and lo’ak when human!readers mask breaks when they’re with them

okay so this was originally an anon req but i accidentally deleted the ask i am so sorry anon. BUUUT LUCKILY i was able to remember the request. if i remembered incorrectly, or if you wanted headcanons instead of whatever this is (idk what to call it) then please send me another req! if it also just wasn’t what you had in mind, i’ll be more than happy to rewrite it for you!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

pandora is a place made to inhabit 8 foot tall creatures. every form of life on pandora is stronger, bigger, and a threat to humans. even the air.

neteyam

“watch your step. we wouldn’t want you plummeting to your death now would we”

“very funny.” you throw a glare at neteyam, clearly not amused by his joke because you’re afraid that may actually end up becoming your reality

neteyam had decided to show you around the forest. well, the parts of the forest you haven’t yet seen. you’ve been around the omatikaya people for years now so you’re quite familiar with the forest, but you’ve never gone in the tops of trees or climbed mountains tops. i mean, you’re a human after all, the amount of dangers you could’ve faced if you’d tried are endless

sooo neteyam offered to finally show you the places you’ve always dreamed to see. you felt safe with neteyam, he knew how to fight and he could fight well. you knew he’d protect you the entire time, so you agreed

you two were hopping along the tree tops, bouncing through the huge leaves provided by the trees. it was nothing like you’ve ever seen before. you had the best view from here. it was so beautiful.

you were in such awe, adrenaline was rushing through you. you were too busy admiring the view that you seemed to have forgotten that the only thing keeping you up right now was a leaf. you weren’t paying attention to where you were walking, your mind occupied by the view. in fact you forget you were walking at all. you were just mindlessly taking steps. alas, you stepped on the tip of the leaf. it couldn’t hold you up.

a scream of your name. that’s all you heard. it was neteyams. a branch had broke your fall. you had landed on your stomach, so there was no severe pain but you were sure it would leave a nasty bruise. the branch wasn’t too far down, just slightly below the leaf, so you thought you were fine. you were too careless and fell, but you were fine.

until you felt a breeze on your face. you didn’t even need to feel your face to know that your mask broke. it seems a smaller branch had cracked your mask and the impact of the fall shattered it.

neteyam hurried down, jumping down from leaf to leaf to get to you as quick as possible. his typical calm character was gone, he was terrified.

you didn’t acknowledge him. you froze. you couldn’t move, or speak, you were just frozen. your mask was broken, and you guys were nowhere near the lab, there was not a single chance in hell you would be able to last long enough without breathing until you reached the lab.

neteyam pulled you up off your stomach and layed you in his lap. “hey focus on me alright? please, just try to stay awake for as long as you can, please.” he swoops you up and starts going down the tree. “ i promise i’ll get you to somewhere safe.”

you could hear the worry in his voice. but even so, he pursues his promise without hesitation.

—

god, your head was pounding. you sit up to find yourself in the lab with neteyam nervously pacing back and forth around you. “i passed out, didn’t i”

he shoots his head toward you with a huge sigh of relief to finally hear your voice. “i tried to get you here as quick as i could, but you could only hold your breath for so long, im sorry. how are you feeling?”

“hey, at least i’m not dead,” you shrug. “but honestly, this is all your fault. if you hadn’t made that awful joke about me falling i would’ve never fell. so, thanks for that, teyeam.” you give him a teasing smirk and he playfully whips his tail at your arm

“this is not the time to be joking, you could’ve seriously gotten hurt you know,” he walks over to you and kneels down to your level. “im sorry. im glad you’re okay. i promise to keep you safe from now on.” he places a kiss on your forehead and tucks a piece of your hair around your ear. you smile to yourself, relieved that you’re okay and so grateful to have someone like neteyam.

lo’ak

you and lo’ak were always sneaking out around the forest and doing things you probably shouldn’t

no matter how many times you two go out and about on some sort of adventure, you’ll never stop being so clumsy

i mean really it’s unbelievable. you’d think that somebody would learn to not be so careless after doing something so many times. but you, oh you just seemed to get clumsier every damn time

nothing too bad has ever happened though, you usually just end up with some scratches from walking into branches or bruises here and there from tripping over your own feet

that’s all it ever was. a funny little incident that leaves you and lo’ak both laughing at how reckless you are

this time wasn’t the same though.

you and lo’ak were running along a big branch that was connecting two trees. you’ve crossed this branch several times with ease, but this time there was a particular dip in the branch that you hadn’t noticed

“cmon hurry up, i know you can go faster than that” lo’ak calls out from up ahead

“i hope you havent forgotten that you’re 7 feet tall and your legs are as long as my entire body.”

“excuses, excuses,” he sarcastically rolls his eyes

not wanting to hear him continue whining about how slow you are, you speed up your pace quite a bit

as you’re about to reach where lo’ak is, your foot falls into the dip in the branch you’ve never seen before.

you fall face first, hard. and you earn yourself a rather harsh tumble down the branch.

lo’ak is struck with panic. “shit shit shit.” he races down to where you landed, luckily only a couple feet below the branch.

you groan in pain, pushing yourself up with your hands only to find shards of your mask scattered across the ground. oh fuck.

“lo’ak.”

“don’t move, you’ll only hurt yourself even more” he shouts from above. he’s too busy trying to get down to you.

again.

“lo’ak.”

“are you okay?? what hurts??”

again.

“lo’ak.”

he finally gets there in front of you and looks down to see what happened.

oh.

oh.

“your mask-“

“it’s broken. i know.”

well, shit. you just wasted your breath by talking.

he stands there for a moment with wide eyes unsure of what to do. guilt rushes through his chest. all he can think about is how this is all his fault. if he hadn’t told you to hurry up you wouldn’t have tripped.

but his emotions are irrelevant right now. he can deal with them later. he needs to get you somewhere safe.

luckily, you guys aren’t too far from the lab. if he sprints fast enough, he could get there in a couple minutes.

“oh fuck- okay. i need you to hold your breath for just two minutes. could you do that?”

you nod in response not wanting to use up even more of your breath. never in a million years did you except to be this thankful for the stupid ass things you and lo’ak would do when you were younger. he would dare you to see how long you could hold your breath without your mask. it made you a pro at holding your breath, and oh boy were you thankful for that foolishly earned skill right now.

he picked you up, careful not to place his hands on your injuries. you wrapped your hands around his neck and closed your eyes hoping that would somehow get you there faster.

he rushed into the lab, startling everyone that was peacefully working just seconds ago.

lo’ak sets you down gently and you let out the biggest breath you’ve ever held. you began practically panting and you hunched yourself over in exhaustion.

lo’ak opens his mouth to say something, but no words come out.

“thank you, lo’ak”

“no. no don’t thank me. im the reason that all happened. what if we weren’t near the lab?? im sorry, it’s all my fault.”

you’re not sure if it’s because you just held your breath for two minutes or because you think he’s speaking nonsense, but you laugh. right in his face.

“you’re kidding me right?? there is no way you’re laughing right now.”

“sorry, sorry. i just couldn’t take that seriously. it wasn’t your fault lo’ak, you know how clumsy i am. you saved me, so seriously, thank you.”

he pulls you in for a hug, smiling to himself.

[anzulvr]

Hello!! How are you today? If it's okay, I wanna drop a request: Karma with GN!reader that grew up being the non-attractive friend that believes that no one is actually gonna fall for them and thinks that every confession they get is a joke (they're attractive and cute but just not that attractive to make others fall for them)

I'm slowly crawling back to Karma fics rn because i keep rewatching the anime and I've been craving more HAHAHA I hope you have a great day!!!<33

Summary: In the ask (Karma akabane x Reader w insecurities who thinks anyone who likes them is joking)

comfort / gender not specified , <3 (also y’all r cute enough to make ppl fall for you don’t say that idc if idk you ik it😤)

When Karma first confessed his feelings for you, you laughed.

Not because it was funny but because you thought he was kidding, you liked him a lot, your laughter was just a way to disguise your disappointment over the fact he could joke about something like that.

It wasn’t a joke, he couldn’t believe you’d think that.

Once you started dating you realized how easy it was to make him jealous, whenever you wear a new outfit or even look cool sparring Karma looks around to make sure no one (..maehara) is looking at you with heart eyes. He thinks it’s impossible for someone to not like you.

— So when he sees some random guy inching closer to you smiling at who knows what you're saying, Karma starts to get ticked off.

He sneaks over behind you and lightly tugs your ear

“Ow- hey!”

“[Name] who’s your friend?” Karma asks in the most condescending manner possible.

“Oh this is Kenji, he just moved here and was asking me to show him around.”

“Ah really? You’re better off using the maps app.”

Kenji was quick to counter, “id rather go with someone whose familiar with the place, like [name] here.”

Karma turned to make eye contact with Kenji “If that’s the case you wouldn’t want to go with [name].”

“Why not?”

“[Name] would get you both lost, I’ll go with you.”

“No it’s alright, [Name] already agreed.”

You pulled karmas sleeve, “it’s okay, you’re not busy?”

“ ‘Course not, I’ve got time for you, let’s go.”

The whole walk Karma made sure to put a good distance between you and Kenji while keeping his arm on you.

He seemed annoyed every time Karma held you closer and gave him a side glance.

Karma on the other hand was purposely being touchier just to see the look on his face.

(after a few minutes Kenji realized Karma wasn’t leaving and made an excuse to leave.)

On the way back Karma mentions it to you

“I can’t believe he was trying to make a move on you, it’s good I got there before he got you alone.”

“He just needed help, I think I would know if that were the case!”

“He would’ve used a GPS. You thought I was joking when I told you I liked you, you’re too naive- don’t worry the way he scrunched his face whenever I got close to you made everything worth it!”

“I thought that because you joke about everything! And you’re also…”

“…Also what?”

“Nevermind, forget it.”

“No, say what’s on your mind.” Karma encouraged.

“Can’t you see you’re too good for me? Everyone knows it.”

“Are you kidding? [Name] you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“Mm...” You looked away he could tell weren’t buying it, he pushed further

“[name], I don’t know why you’re with me.”

“You’re perfect, why wouldn’t I be with you?”

“That’s exactly what I think of you.”

note: updated finally gave him a nameeee. things r slow it’s been like two weeks but I’m making a masterlist.

[strniohoeee]

idk what to ask but something super angst enemies to lovers with matt

Disregard(Matt’s Version)

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Matt and Y/N hate each other. However one night at a party things take an ugly turn, and Matt’s there to help her. Feelings are expressed but are these feelings mutual? 🌷

Warning⚠️: None really some guy tries to take advantage of reader.

Song for the imagine: R U Mine?- Arctic Monkeys

And satisfaction feels like a distant memory

And I can’t help myself

All I ever wanna say is “are you mine?”

“You at a party with Matt? How’s that going to work” my friend asked me over the phone laughing

“It’s going to work because I hate him, and I will be far away from him duhh” I said raking through my closet looking for an outfit

“I just don’t know how you can hang out with him and his brothers when yall can’t stand one another” she said

“Well Nicks my friend mostly sadly and Chris is cool, but Matt’s just always there” I said huffing when I couldn’t find the shirt I wanted

“Why don’t you and Nick just hang out” she responded

“I mean we have, but they are always together. I’ve learned to just not acknowledge him” I said laughing

“Man I don’t know how you’ve been sticking it out this long” she said to me

“He was at his worse in high school, so if I got over that I can get over anything” I responded back

“Mmm that’s true he was an annoying little shit” she said giggling

“He really was, and he was such a dick” I said rolling my eyes

“He was, but I’m gonna let you go girl. I know you have to prepare for this party, and I’m about to head out with my man on a date” she said to me

“Alright girl I love you, and have fun I’ll talk to you soon” I responded

“Love you too, and have fun as well” she responded

I hung up and finished looking through my closet for another outfit.

“FINALLYYYY” I said as I found the shirt I’ve been hunting for

To be honest I’m not too sure why my hate for Matt was still there. I’ve been friends with Nick for 5 years now, and although Matt was an asshole in school I couldn’t stop my hate towards him.

He just was always there, and swore he was hot shit. He wanted to be cool and mysterious so badly and it annoyed the shit out of me.

I agreed when Chris called him “tough” because it was true. He acted like this big bad guy, and like he was too good for everybody. Hated it and I hated him

Initially I really liked him, but he destroyed all of that when we were in high school. It haunted me daily…..man fuck Matt

I finished getting ready and decided to Uber over to the triplets house since Nick wanted us to carpool

I headed into their house and walked up to nicks room

“Nickkkk” I said as I walked in and hugged him

“Heyyy” he said pulling away

“Excited for tonight?” I asked him as I sat on his bed

“Very! I haven’t been to a party in a while” he said looking in his closet

“Oh my gosh sameeee” I said

“Should I wear a pink shirt or a black shirt?” He asked

“Mmmmm pink, that color looks good on you” I said back

“I was thinking the same” he said laughing

Suddenly Chris and Matt barged into his room

“YOOO” Chris yelled coming in

“Hey” I said smiling at him

“Stop fucking screaming like a bafoon” Nick said

“Uhhh who brought the negative Nancy” Chris said rolling his eyes

Nick just rolled his eyes at Chris as he finished getting ready in his bathroom

“Nick I have a question” I said getting up

“What’s up?” He asked

“Do you have my perfume I left here a while back” I asked

“Mmm I should, might be in my top drawer” he said

“Yeah you might want to mask that smell” Matt said laughing

“Ew….youre not funny” I said giving him a dirty look

“Yeah and youre ugly” he said making an ugly face

“You act like a two year old” I said not even looking at him

“Alright children enough” Chris said rolling his eyes

“I’m going to wait downstairs, I’m not going to allow Matt to ruin my night” I said after I sprayed myself with perfume and leaving Nicks room

About 10 minutes later they all came down and we decided to head out. Matt drove us to this influencers house who they knew and we headed in

“Alright guys don’t get too wild and try not to fight anyone” Nick said

“Got it” we said laughing

We walked in and started to say hi to the people we knew. I headed into the kitchen to make myself a drink because this was going to be a long night.

I was sitting in the kitchen sipping on my drink while people watching when I saw someone from the corner of my eye.

“Hey” he said, I looked over at him smiling as I swallowed my drink

“Hi” I said properly

“I’m Grey, but most people call me G” he said sticking his hand out for me to shake

“I’m Y/N” I said shaking his hand

“Are you here alone?” He asked as he began to make himself a drink

“Oh no I’m here with some friends, but we branched off” I said to him

“Oh nice yeah I did the same. I think my friends with some girl or some shit” he said shaking his head

“Ahh yes the classic party hook up” I said

“So cliche right” he said laughing

I went to answer but Matt walked into the kitchen clearing his throat and shoving in between us to get a Pepsi

“Oh uh am I interrupting something?” Matt asked looking between Grey and I

“No, go away Matt” I said sighing

“Cant I get a drink?” He said cheering my cup and giving me a shit eating grin

“I’m going to uhhh I’m going to head out” Grey said before walking off

“You fucking dick” I said punching Matt

“I came to get a drink” he said shrugging his shoulders

“You’re such a fucking asshole I hate you” I said finishing my drink and going to make another one

“Not sure why you hate me” he said scoffing

“Tuh- you’re not sure?” I said grabbing a coke to mix with Malibu

“Mmm no not really” he said shaking his head

“Oh well let me jog your memory shall I? You were an absolute piece of shit in high school. You called me every terrible name under the sun. You turned our whole grade against me. Let’s not forget that so-called prank you pulled on me. Calling me telling me you liked me when you knew I liked you asking me out and then telling me it was a joke and that you truly hated me. Oh not to mention you recorded it and sent it to the whole fucking school. You humiliated me in front of everyone” I said mixing my drink

“It wasn’t that serious, you know. I was hanging around asshole guys and I thought it was cool” he said nonchalantly

“You’re still the same way though” I said scoffing

“I’m really not” he said

“You are Matt….you are. I don’t know what I ever did to you, but I know I don’t deserve this shit” I responded

“Oh don’t act innocent you weren’t a saint” he said

“Yeah maybe in high school I got you back a few times but nothing compared to the shit you out, and that was high school were 21 now” I responded

“I have my reasons and you have yours” he said

I looked at him and scoffed…what is he even saying

“Grow up Matt” I said lifting off the counter to walk away

“Right back at you” he said shaking his head

“And stay the fuck out of my way” I said shoving past him

I walked off angrily and decided to look for Grey because I really needed to take my mind off of Matt. He was making my blood boil and my head spin

I saw Grey sitting on a couch scrolling through his phone

“Hey stranger” I said walking up to him

“Oh Heyy Y/N” he said smiling and locking his phone to put it away

“Sorry about that back there he can be a bit annoying” I said sitting next to him

“Ex boyfriend drama?” He asked

“Oh god no. Rival since high school” I said laughing

“Damn since high school” he said

“Yeah” I responded taking a seat next to him

Grey and I had been talking on the couch for a while. His fingers and hands often becoming loose and touching me. Nothing that made me uncomfortable, but it was certainly strange.

Unbeknown to Y/N Matt was watching her and Grey the whole time. He had a weird feeling about him, but couldn’t put his finger on it. He didn’t like that Grey was touching her, but she didn’t seem bothered so he stood back.

“Hey want to head up to a room I can’t really hear you” Grey asked nicely

“Ummm yeah sure” I said

“Nothing weird I promise” he said laughing

“Oh no worries” I said laughing and getting up to follow him

Matt was sitting as he watched them get up and head to the stairs. His ears perking up at this…..something was telling him to follow them.

Slowly Matt got up following behind them at a good distance. Listening in on their convo as best as he could. Didn’t seem strange, but he still wanted to make sure Y/N was okay.

Grey and Y/N had walked into a room shutting the door behind them, and Matt stood a few feet behind. He didn’t want to listen in, but he also wanted to make sure nothing weird was about to go down

“So tell me more about you” Grey said as we both sat on the bed

“Mmm well I’ve been living here for a while now, I’m originally from Boston” I said scanning my brain for more things to say

“Nice nice” he said staring at me

“I’m not sure what else to say” I said giggling

But Grey didn’t say anything he just stared at me….it started to bother me

“Is there something on my face?” I asked getting nervous

“Oh uh no sorry you’re just gorgeous” he said

“Oh thank you” I said looking down

At first coming up here seemed like a good idea, but now I’m worried he got the wrong picture. I did not want anything to do with this man other than a possible friendship. This was started to bug me out

Suddenly he started to lean in, I jumped up

“Oh no no that’s not why I came up here” I said backing away

“Oh? Well then why did you come up here” he asked shocked

“Umm because I thought you wanted to hear me better not try to kiss me” I said looking at him weirdly

“Well one kiss wouldn’t hurt” he said getting up

“No I’m good” I said nodding my head at him

“Just one come on” he said in a sleazy way

“And I said no. No is a full sentence” I said getting upset

“Stop being a tease already” he said

“I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong idea, but I do not want to kiss you” I said

He came closer and I backed away banging into a table against the wall

“Back away” I said

On the other side Matt heard the muffled conversations and the scuffling going on between two people, but he didn’t know what was going on.

“Please stop” I said pushing him off of me as we struggled against the table causing some things to fall

“Come on baby” he said getting upset

“FUCK OFF” I yelled pushing him off and grabbing the front door

My eyes surprised me when I made eye contact with Matt who was standing infront of the door

“Matt?” I asked confused

“What’s going on?” He said looking behind me into the room

“Nothing” I said pushing him back trying to get him to leave

“Your little bitch is a tease” Grey said to Matt

“She’s not a bitch, and if she said no then it’s no” Matt said looking the dude up and down

“She doesn’t want you either, so don’t try to be Superman” he said scoffing

“Fuck you. I’m being a decent human being respect her” Matt said

“What are you going to do about huh?” He said laughing at Matt

“Come on stop” I said trying to pull Matt away

“No” he said pushing my hand away

“You’re a piece of shit” Matt said walking towards Grey

“Don’t care” he said still laughing

Matt looked at him before punching him in the jaw

“MATT WHAT THE FUCK” I yelled out

They both started to scuffle around throwing punches

“Stop it” I said trying to pull Matt away

Matt hit the guy again in the nose causing him to stumble backwards

“When a woman tells you no that means no” he said backing away from Grey

“Matt we have to go now” I said pulling him away

Matt and I ran down the stairs and to his car

“Are you okay?” He asked me as we got in the car

“Yeah I’m fine” I said bluntly

“What a sick fuck” he said turning his car on

“Why do you care?” I asked

“Well I got a bad vibe from him okay, and I just didn’t want you to get hurt” he said as he pulled off

“Matt caring about me” I asked

“I don’t care about you…..I just didn’t want some creep to take advantage” he said scoffing

“Mm don’t care about me sureeeee” I said sitting back in my chair

“I don’t fucking like you okay Y/N” he said getting upset

“Feelings mutual I could’ve handled my own” I said

“Didn’t seem like it” he said

“I had it” I said getting upset with him

“You’re so stubborn” he said

“And so are you” I said

“Just stop okay” he said gripping the steering wheel tighter

“Stop what? Just take me home and shut up” I said rolling my eyes

“You’re such a bitch I try and help you and this is what I get” he said

“Stop the car” I said bluntly

“No” he said

“Matthew stop the fucking car now” I said

Matt looked over at me and pulled over. I hopped out and began to walk

“What the fuck are you doing?” He asked

“Shut the fuck up” I said continuing to walk

Matt hopped out the car following behind me

“Get in the car now” he said sternly

“You’re not my dad, go away” I said shooing him

“I’m not asking you again. Get in the car now” he said trailing closer to me

“GO AWAY” I yelled at him

Matt ran a little faster and grabbed my arm pulling me to turn around

“IM NOT LEAVING YOU HERE STOP BEING STUBBORN AND GET IN THE CAR” he yelled at me

“Let go of me” I said pulling my arm away from him harshly

“Get in the car. I know you hate me. I get that, but get in the car. I’ll take you home and I’ll never bother you again” he said

“Matt no I’m not going anywhere with you” I said

“Stop being so stubborn holy shit” he said pulling at his hair

“No one told you to save me, no one told you to take me home and no one told you to follow me out here. You don’t like me so go away” I said turning around to keep walking

“Yeah I don’t like you because…..because I love you” he said

I stopped in my tracks and slowly turned around to face him

“What?” I asked

“I love you okay” he said shaking his head

“No no you’re not doing this. After all these years of being a piece of shit you’re not about to pull this I love you card” I said pointing at him

“I’ve been a horrible person I know, but I truly didn’t know how to express myself. And i know these words probably mean nothing. But I want you to know I can’t do this anymore. I can’t hide my true feelings by pretending to be mean to you. When I saw you and that guy I got so jealous because that….that should be me” he said

“I don’t know what to say to you” I said shaking my head

“That’s okay. Just get back in the car, let me take you home. And you don’t have to see me ever again” he responded

“Matt I… I don’t know what to say because I love you too. I have loved you since high school, and I masked these feelings with hatred because it was the easiest thing to do” I said

“I’m sorry, okay. I never meant to hurt you the way I did” he said

“I don’t know if I can accept that apology right now. You hurt me badly” I told him

“I get that, but just let me take you home and we can talk about it tomorrow” he said

“Ok” I responded in a whisper

I got back into Matt’s car and he drove me home. The whole ride was silent. My thoughts racing in my head about what he told me….did he really love me?

Matt got to my apartment complex and walked me to my apartment door

“Thanks Matt” I said looking at him

“Oh yeah no worries can’t have you walking alone at night” he said

“No. I mean for everything tonight thank you” I said smiling

“Oh yeah. Of course” he said smiling back

“Ummm I really like you, and you did hurt me, but I want to work this out” I said

“Yeah yeah I do too” he said looking at my eyes

“Well goodnight Matt” I responded opening my door

“Can I have a hug?” He asked shyly

I smiled at this and pulled him in for a hug, kissing him on the cheek

“I appreciate you truly for tonight” I said smiling weakly

He nodded his head at me

“I’ll call” he said

“I’ll answer” I responded

And with that I walked into my apartment locking the door behind me.

Matt drove back to pick up his brothers. Once he was home he laid in bed smiling to himself.

I can’t wait to hear her voice again.

The End

I hope you enjoyed this one I love yall sooo much omgg🥹🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

[garf1eld4evr]

Hello! I saw that you were taking fic requests, I have an idea but only if you want to 😅.

Could you do one where Vox and Alastor are in a tickle fight, and the reader sees them and thinks it's really cute, so she goes to tell the others? They (Vox and Al) are embarrassed and tickle her until she agrees not to tell?

Idk I think it's cute-

Oh god you’re so right Nonnie! Enjoy <3

★ • What happens here stays here • ★

Years back~

Before Alastor and Vox became enemies they were quite the little team! They would always hang out, have fun together and ofcourse have tickle fights to see who would win. Not only because of that, but they would use it against their will. One day Alastor had invited Vox over at the Hazbin Hotel so they could chat and talk about their life since it’s been a week ever since they last talked. Alastor was currently sitting on an armchair with on leg crossed over the other and Vox was sitting on the end of the couch close to him with his arm resting on the armchair.

“So I heard you and Val had another argument?” Alastor asked with his usual smug grin.

“That was private! How the hell did you figure that out?” Vox asked a bit annoyed.

“Why I have my ways dear! It’s quite funny if you ask me! I wonder how your dear viewers would react to that lovely piece of information!” Alastor teased, clearly joking ofcourse. Though Vox wasn’t having any of his bullshit. The guy was too sensitive.

“I swear if you say something like that again I’ll wipe that grin off your face!”

“Why how charming! Though I couldn’t say I’m quite pleased with that mouth of yours Vox. No wonder Valentino always fights with you~”

That did it. Vox had enough of Alastor’s constant teasing. So all of a sudden Vox pounced on Alastor, threw him on the ground and sat on his waist.

“I warned you…” Vox’s left eye began spiraling like a trance while Alastor on the other hand wasn’t scared at all, but he wasn’t quite sure what to expect from his best friend.

“Now now is that any way to treat your host? Where have your manners gooOHOHOHONE?!!!”

Alastor suddenly burst out laughing as Vox’s fingers began spidering on his sides.

“Ah you talk to much. Why don’t you start laughing more?” Vox teased as he poked and pinched his sides while Alastor kept laughing loudly, desperately trying to get him off his waist, which lead to no avail…

“Vox!! I- hahah!!! Let go!!!” Alastor begged and begged though Vox just didn’t listen… that’s when the radio demon gathered enough strength and summoned 4 of his black tendrils. They grabbed Vox’s wrists, lifting his arms above his head as the other two wrapped around his stomach. Vox let out a surprised yelp as he realised what’s gonna happen…

“Wait Alastor! There’s no need I uh… I got carried away!!” Vox was grinning nervously.

“Oh what’s wrong Voxxy? Still afraid of the tickle monster?~” Alastor placed both hands above his stomach and wiggled his fingers teasingly, without touching him yet. Vox then burst out laughing.

“I’m not even touching you yet! But if your so tempted for me to do so then as you wish~” The tendrils soon enough began wiggling all over his stomach causing him to shriek and scream like a high school girl. Vox has always been most ticklish than him which has been quite the struggle for him.

“Alastor! Stohohop!!! I cahahant!!!” Vox squealed and laughed hysterically.

“My my, music to my ears~ since when did your laughter become so adorable and contagious Vox?” Alastor teased as he poked his back with his caine while Vox screamed in laughter. He wasn’t even begging him to stop.

“My your enjoying this quite a l-“

Suddenly Alastor was cut off by a giggle coming from behind. The tendrils dropped Vox as he turned around to see Y/N holding her phone up recording them as they put the phone away.

“I’m so telling everyone!”

Y/N quickly began to run off as Alastor summoned a tendril as it went flying towards them and wrapped around their stomach, pulling them back to him.

“Now now Y/N I suggest you delete that recording from your picture box before I murder you.” Alastors eyes went pitchblack as his radio voice went distorted. Vox’s left eye also began spiraling again as Y/N received a death glare from him.

“Oh hell no! This was the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen!”

“Then you should face some consequences…” Vox said angrily as he grabbed Y/N and started scribbling on their sides and belly.

“WAIT NO!!!” Y/N squealed loudly as they burst out laughing. Alastor bend on one knee and took off their shoe as he held them by the ankle and poked and scratched their socked foot.

“Such giggles!~” Alastor teased as Vox angrily scratched and poked and squeezed Y/N’s belly and sides.

“You gonna tell?!” Vox asked angrily.

“Yes!!”

“Right.” Vox’s hands began glowing with electricity as his hands went under Y/N’s shirt and he squeezed, sending a ticklish vibration. Y/N shrieked with laughter.

“I WONT TELL!!!” Y/N yelled through laughter.

“Sorry darling what? I couldn’t hear over someone laughing~” Alastoe teased from down below as he scribbled on Y/N’s foot.

“I PROMISEEE!!!” Y/N cried out from laughter. They were getting very red in the face.

“Hmm… what do you say Vox?” Alastor raised a brow and looked at Vox curiously.

“You promise to delete it and never tell anyone?”

“YES!!!” Y/N yelled desperately.

“Hmm… okay… you’re off the hook, kid.” Alastor released their foot, so did the tendril release their stomach and Vox let go. Y/N fearfully ran out the room leaving both Vox and Alastor alone.

“Heh we can use it against them next time…” Vox grinned as his voice changed to a TV static.

“Oh you are so right…” Alastor replied.

“Now how about some tea!” Alastor suggested as he walked away to get some tea, while Vox send a playful poke on his side.

“Oh how your getting that back.” Alastor then jumped on him, pinning him to the ground as the war began all over again.

★ • The end • ★

[hairstevington]

Stranger Therapy

Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington

Summary: Based on this text post, Steve and Eddie match on Tinder and decide to go to couple's counseling on a first date to see how long it takes the therapist (Murray) to figure them out. Link to Ao3

Word Count: 3K, check out part 2 part 3 part 4 and epilogue!

Warnings: Nothing too serious, Steve/Eddie went to high school together but don't know each other, modern day AU, aged up, brief Robin cameo, Matchmaker Murray, and my fav tag of all - gay scheming!

A/N: I'm a counselor in training currently but I don't specialize in couple's counseling so this may or may not be accurate? Idk man it's just fun and silly I love our stupid boys sm. Original post by @hxneyfarms

It’s a match!

“Robin, it worked!” Steve shouted from the couch. She ran from the kitchen and joined him, peering over to stare at his screen.

“I told you it would! It’s funny!” she insisted. Steve rolled his eyes and anxiously pulled up the profile of his new match. 

“Oh, shit,” Steve said. “I remember swiping right on this guy. Didn’t think I had a shot.” He looked through the pictures. They were all candids, slightly blurry, or shots of him with his friends, but due to his distinguished look it was easy to pick him out even in a crowd. 

“Show me his bio,” Robin ordered. Steve closed out the pictures and scrolled until the bio was in full view.

Eddie, 25. Shit at bios.

“Well that’s kind of boring,” Steve said. 

“Yeah. You think he’s a bot?” Robin asked.

 “Or a catfish, maybe,” Steve mused. “Either way, I still think I should take your joke down. I don’t talk like that in real life, and people might get confused.”

Robin had convinced him earlier to change his bio and replace it with - let’s go to couple’s counseling and see how long it takes the therapist to realize we don’t know each other. Steve had been a little tipsy when he agreed, and he assumed nothing would come of it. But then, Eddie matched with him. 

“You’re thinking way too hard about this, Dingus,” Robin replied. “People write weird shit in their Tinder bios all the time.” 

“Eddie didn’t,” Steve countered. 

“Yeah, but look at him,” Robin responded. “He’s distinctive. It’s attention-grabbing in itself.”

“And I’m not?” Steve asked. Robin chuckled.

“You’re the kind of pretty where if you don’t have something witty in the bio, people will think you’re just some ignorant surface-level airhead who’s never worked a day in his life, and that’s not cute.”

“Okay, ouch,” Steve said. 

“It’s a compliment!” she insisted. “Like, you need to show that you’re witty and funny and able to poke fun at yourself, otherwise you’re going to attract the wrong kind of people.”

“And this guy’s the right kind, huh?” Steve opened one of the pictures back up - one where Eddie was passed out on the couch with a beer still in his hand. As they looked at the screen, a notification popped up. Eddie sent you a message.

“Let’s find out,” Robin said. 

-

Eddie: If your bio is serious, I’m in

Steve: Wait, really?

Eddie: Yeah xD sounds fun

Eddie: You got a therapist in mind?

Steve: Honestly didn’t think I’d get this far

Eddie: Boo. 

Eddie: You’re lucky I know just the guy

Steve: Okay…

Steve: So how do we do this?

Eddie: Dude, it was YOUR idea

Steve: Ok but I’ve never done it before!

Eddie: Steve! I’m your first? <3

Steve: Yeah, yeah. I’ve never pranked a therapist before. 

Eddie: I hope you’re either rich or have really good insurance. Otherwise this is gonna be an expensive first date.

Steve: I got it covered. 

Eddie: I figured you did. I’ll call the guy in the morning and get back to you with the appointment time. 

Steve: Okay. How’s your night going by the way?

Eddie: Nope!

Eddie: That’s not part of the deal, Steve. We go into this blind or not at all.

Steve: This is insane.

Eddie: Once again, your idea. I’m excited. Are you excited?

Steve: Thrilled.

Steve: I’m still concerned about how you know the perfect guy for this.

Eddie: 😛

Eddie: Don’t worry about it.

-

“I don’t even think he’s serious,” Steve said after he recounted the entire interaction to Robin.

“I don’t know, Steve. Sounds serious to me.” 

“What if he’s like - not right in the head?” Steve wondered, reading the interaction over and over again. “Like, who is this therapist and why does he know him? Is he actually going to make an appointment? What if this whole thing crashes and burns?”

“I honestly think he plans on it crashing and burning,” Robin replied. “And then after, the both of you either hit it off and laugh about it forever, or you have an amazing failed date story to tell your friends until the end of time.”

“That’s…actually genius.” 

“I know.” 

Steve read the messages one last time, focusing on the bits where Eddie was mildly flirtatious. Steve! I’m your first? He could tell if Eddie was being condescending, or what vibe he was going to bring to this absolute insane first date. But, as Robin said, it would be a story no matter what. 

He tried to focus on that and not the anxiety that started brewing in his veins.

-

The appointment was set for two weeks later. Eddie still refused to talk to Steve other than for details on where to go and at what time, so for the whole fourteen days, Steve assumed he was being pranked right back. Eddie was messing with him, or he’d cancel, or Dr. Bauman didn’t actually exist, or he’d be murdered, or, or, or -

None of that happened. Instead, on a Tuesday afternoon, Steve pulled up to an office building about fifteen minutes from his apartment. He’d passed by it several times and never once wondered what went on inside. 

Apparently, really weird first dates.

They had decided to meet up in the parking lot and walk in together. The whole thing was crazy, but having one of them pick the other up so they could drive in together was way over what was needed to commit to the bit. 

Steve got there first. They needed to be fifteen minutes early to fill out paperwork. It was twenty minutes prior to their appointment time. 

This was weird. It felt a lot different than all the times he’d met someone for coffee. In another world, that’s how he and Eddie would have met. But no. He had to agree to this stupid thing, and now he was too far into it to back out. Jesus Christ. 

Eddie’s car pulled in a few spaces down. Steve knew it was him from the hair alone - unmistakable. He got out of his car and walked towards his date, his palms sweaty. Eddie got out of his car a moment later, eyeing Steve as he approached him and smirking. 

“What gave me away?” Eddie asked. 

“You think I wouldn’t recognize my boyfriend?” Steve snapped back, pleased at the way he was able to take Eddie off guard. 

“Touche. Well, come on, then. Let’s do this.” 

-

Before they knew it, they were sitting in a cramped waiting room, alone, filling out paperwork. It consisted of insurance information first, followed by names and some quick background questions about the “couple.” Steve began filling it out, thankful that he was still on his dad’s fancy rich-person insurance. It covered basically everything, even fucked-up couples fraud with Dr. Bauman.

“Are you not worried I’m gonna, like, steal your information or something?” Eddie asked as Steve wrote down his policy number.

“I mean…should I be?” Steve responded. 

“No,” Eddie answered with a shrug. “I gotta say, though, you’re way more trusting than I am. It’s ballsy. I like it.” 

“Uhh…” Steve was trying to concentrate on the paperwork, but the compliment was throwing him off. “Thank you, I think.” He continued filling out the paperwork.

“You’re from Hawkins?” he asked. Steve nodded, absentmindedly. “I’m from Hawkins.” This caught Steve’s attention. 

“No shit.” 

“Yeah, seriously.”

“Small world,” Steve replied before turning his attention back to the form.

“You have a cute middle name,” Eddie teased. 

“Shut up,” Steve responded. He wanted to find Eddie’s pestering annoying, but instead he found himself smirking, even giggling a little bit. This whole thing was so ridiculous. He shoved the clipboard onto Eddie’s lap. “Your turn, lover.”

“Euch,” Eddie groaned. “That is not one of our pet names, no way.” 

“Noted,” Steve chuckled. He was…kind of enjoying this way more than he expected, as weird as it was. He’d grown accustomed to a lot of even stranger things in his life, so this didn’t feel as shocking as he’d initially thought. 

“Don’t look,” Eddie said as he covered the paper.

“What? Why not?” Steve asked, confused. 

“Because not all of us are as blindly trusting, Steven,” Eddie responded. Steve shook his head and looked away. 

“Good thing we’re in therapy to work that shit out, Edward Munson.”

“You looked!” Eddie exclaimed. 

“It was right in front of me!” Steve pointed out. 

“Fair enough,” Eddie sighed. “Okay, now we gotta put down a reason for doing this.”

-

Fast forward ten minutes, Eddie and Steve were seated next to each other on a relatively small but cozy burnt orange couch. The color was ugly, but the seats were comfortable. Steve noticed the cushions had a natural dip that kept inching him closer to the person sitting on the opposite side. He figured this was certainly intentional. 

The doctor sat in front of them, reviewing the papers the pair had just filled out.

“Hello, my name is Dr. Bauman, and one day I may let you call me Murray,” he began, his eyes fixed on the papers in front of him. “I see here on your sheet that you’ve been feeling distant from each other, and that you’re looking to feel more connected, right? Can you tell me more about that?”

“We’re just launching right into it, huh?” Eddie asked. 

“Well, we are on a time crunch here. Your decision how you spend it,” Dr. Bauman answered. 

The man was immediately intimidating.

“Ooookay,” Steve said, taking a deep breath. “Yeah, I guess it just feels like - like he and I don’t even know each other anymore.” Eddie stifled a laugh, covering his mouth with his hand to make it seem like he was maybe getting emotional or perhaps trying not to sneeze. 

“I see,” Dr. Bauman said, eyeing them both suspiciously. “Let’s begin with how you two met and we’ll go from there, okay?”

“We were high school sweethearts,” Eddie replied with a grin.

“Wow,” Dr. Bauman commented. “Well, it’s common for a lot of development to happen from then to now. How did you two get together?” Eddie looked to Steve, as if to say, you’re up.

“It just kinda…happened, I guess,” Steve began. “We were assigned as partners for a project and really clicked.”

“Yeah, and then we snuck around for a while. Sneaking kisses in janitor's closets and empty classrooms, you know the drill.” Steve tried not to blush at the thought of sneaking around with high school Eddie. If they were both from Hawkins, did they actually go to high school together?

“Snuck around for the thrill?” Dr. Bauman asked.

“No,” Steve responded. “I wasn’t out yet.” Eddie looked at him curiously, as if he wasn’t expecting Steve to say something so serious. He wondered if it was actually true. 

“Well, that and -” Eddie added. “- he was a popular jock and I was kind of a freak.” This time, Steve looked at Eddie curiously. Steve was a popular jock. Eddie could have assumed that, or made a lucky guess, but something told him that wasn’t the case. 

Eddie Munson. Munson. 

Oh.

Oh!

It took Steve a minute to recover from that information. They did in fact go to school together, they just had never interacted. Eddie obviously remembered, and he obviously knew that Steve didn’t. So what was the goal here? Was Steve being punked or something just so Eddie could get free therapy?

“Steve, you look a little pale there,” Dr. Bauman noticed. “Did that trigger something?”

“Yeah -” Steve croaked, now unable to look at Eddie. If he had, he would have noticed Eddie didn’t look as smug as Steve assumed he was. “Yeah, I just don’t think about high school that much anymore.”

“Why not?” the doctor asked. 

“Because, I - I’ve changed so much since then. I’m not that guy anymore, and I don’t want to be that guy.”

“Ah, I see,” he hummed. “So, Eddie fell for someone who no longer exists. I think I’m understanding the problem here. Eddie, do you feel that you’ve changed?”

Damn. This guy’s kinda good.

“Uhhh -” Eddie began. Neither of them expected this to get so serious so quickly. It didn’t even feel like it was about their imagined relationship anymore. “N-no, I don’t think I have.”

“And Steve, do you think Eddie has changed?”

Steve thought about the limited memories he had of Eddie in high school. Cocky, slightly unhinged, just as he was now. But there was something different, he just couldn’t really pinpoint what. Maybe if he’d talked to Eddie for longer than like ten minutes total in his life, he’d have a better idea. 

Then, he realized the point of this wasn’t to be serious. It was to make shit up. Steve pivoted back to the original plan. 

“Yeah, I mean -” He shifted in his seat, finding himself now thigh to thigh with Eddie, despite not meaning to be. “He’s, uh - it just feels like we don’t have anything in common anymore?” It was something he’d heard lots of couples say.

“Do you want to make this work?” Dr. Bauman asked. 

“Why else would we be here?” Eddie answered. Dr. Bauman narrowed his eyes. 

“You tell me.”

Eddie and Steve were kind of not good at this. Their story was based in truth and not very exciting. They both seemed to realize this at the same time.

“Steve slept with the dogwalker,” Eddie proclaimed. Steve scoffed, half-amused, half-offended. 

“Yeah, well you sold drugs to my mom!” he shot back. The two guys looked at each other, pretending to look angry while simultaneously wanting to laugh. 

“Woooah, there,” Dr. Bauman responded. “Now we’re getting somewhere. Do we want to begin with Steve’s infidelity or Eddie’s illegal activity?”

“That’s not gonna, like, go on record or anything, right?” Steve asked, suddenly anxious. “Like, the cops aren’t gonna show up at Eddie’s door?”

“Our door, babe,” Eddie clarified, not the least bit nervous. 

“Depends on how long ago this happened, I suppose,” Dr. Bauman answered.

“Long time ago,” Eddie said. 

“Are you still currently dealing?”

“No, I don’t even do drugs anymore. Well, like, except pot - but that’s legal now so it doesn’t really count, I think.”

“Dude,” Steve whispered. 

“You brought it up,” Eddie replied just as softly. 

“Right,” Dr. Bauman responded, taking it all in. “No report needed, then. Let’s move onto the dogwalker.” 

They continued to add to their lore as the appointment went on. At one point, Eddie even faked tears. His acting was…decent enough to avoid suspicion, thankfully. When the clock hit 1:45, their time was up, and they’d successfully managed to fool Dr. Bauman. Mission accomplished, date over. Right?

“Well, thank you so much, Dr. Bauman,” Eddie said. “I think you’ve really helped us out today.”

“Yeah, seriously,” Steve said, smiling. “We feel so much better.”

“Now hold on a minute,” Dr. Bauman said with his hands up. “There’s still a lot of work to be done, in my professional opinion.”

“There is?” Eddie asked, confused. 

“Oh, definitely. Most couples go to a minimum of four sessions, and that’s still a low average. Plus, this was only intake. I mean, unless you guys weren’t happy with the counseling I gave you today…”

It felt like a challenge, and Eddie loved challenges. Meanwhile, Steve was too awkward to come clean or tell the doctor they weren’t interested. 

They made another appointment.

-

“Well, that went pretty well, I think,” Eddie said as they left the building. 

“You knew me already?” Steve asked once they were a safe enough distance from the office and Dr. Bauman. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I just knew your name and face, man. And, like, your vibe,” Eddie answered. “Back in high school, anyway.” 

“You should have told me,” Steve said. 

“You should have remembered,” Eddie shot back. “Whatever, it was fun. Right?”

“Eddie, I have no idea what that was,” Steve replied. “We have to cancel that appointment.”

“Why? You don’t want to see me again?” Eddie grinned. Steve rolled his eyes.

“No, I - I mean, I don’t want to waste his time. That spot should go to other couples who need it. Meanwhile, we could go get coffee like normal adults.” 

“I dunno,” Eddie said, kicking a pebble in the road as they walked. “I kinda liked it. You can’t tell me you didn’t.”

It was true. Steve couldn’t say that he didn’t.

“Doesn’t matter.” Steve unlocked his car and made his way to the door. “We’re canceling.”

“He’s the one that wanted to see us again, Steve,” Eddie reminded him. 

“Yeah, because he thought we were an actual couple.” Steve was getting frustrated at Eddie’s antics, and the way he refused to back down. “I don’t know if this is gonna work, man. This has been, uh - well, it’s been weird, but I think -”

“We have to go, otherwise you’ll be charged a cancellation fee,” Eddie blurted out. It was a lie, a bold-faced lie, and yet -

“So, I’ll pay the fee. Can’t be more than the cost of a full session,” Steve figured. 

“Ugh!” Eddie groaned in frustration. “Okay, fine. Look - I’m annoying as hell, I’m a mess, I’m broke, and I could never afford someone like Dr. Bauman. I don’t know about you, but some of the things he said actually made me think and I kind of want to ask him about, like, real shit.” 

Steve stared at him blankly for a minute. 

“You - you want me to keep going to fake couple’s counseling with you so you can get actual therapy?” Steve asked, stunned. 

“I mean, you could work your shit out, too,” Eddie suggested.

“What shit? I don’t have shit,” Steve insisted. 

“Of course you do! Everyone does!” Eddie yelled. 

“You’re insane,” Steve muttered. The thing was, he wasn’t saying it out of anger. He was saying it in understanding. 

Because the thing was, Eddie had a point. Dr. Bauman was good at what he did, and Steve knew he’d never sign up for individual counseling. He already had the appointment. Eddie smirked. 

“You’re with me, aren’t you?”

Fuck.

“Fine,” Steve agreed. 

-

Notes from Dr. Bauman - 3/18

Eddie and Steve

Together since high school

Feelings of disconnect

Steve/dogwalker

Eddie/mom/drugs

Clearly lying

Clients are faking their relationship for me, for some reason. Will continue to work with them to figure out why. 

They aren’t dating…but they should be

(next chapter)

------------------------------------

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[bridgetotheskyyy]

snapshot.

summary: Deidara meets a superfan

warnings: Smut, 18+, rough sex, choking, pool sex, reader has a bit of a description, reader is complex, mentions of killing

word count: 6.9k

a/n: I had this idea shortly after conceptualizing Apprentice and while I was, like 70 or 80% done with that fic. And now we have this fucking 7k monster. I consider this to be a spiritual successor to Apprentice, maybe a oppositional series of events even? Idk, you decide lol. There are even some similar words and wordy allusions that you may catch haha. Hope you enjoy!

read on ao3 here. (recommended for extra notes)

Kisame’s wicked cackles reverberated across the cavern walls, summoned from the pit of his stomach; Deidara was sure he would pass out sooner rather than later. 

“It seems,” Pain began, eyeing the sculpture in the center of the room, “you have an admirer, Deidara.” 

Deidara’s brow twitched as a blush snuck across his face. His eyes roved over the sculpture ― the naked sculpture.

Tobi threw up his hands in laudation. “It’s so pretty! ”

Kisame laughed harder ― if it was possible. 

“I have taken it upon myself to apologize to (Y/n),” Pain continued over the cackling. “She’s one of our main contributors, after all; we would be amiss to upset her.” 

“When …” Deidara’s brow held a life of its own, “... did she send this?”

“No clue; I had Kisame retrieve it,” Pain explained. “Apparently, we sent the wrong member to entertain her.”

Kisame’s hand hugged the wall. “You’re damn right! ” 

It was as subtle a joke as could be achieved by Pain and it still wasn’t funny. Deidara’s eyes had not once left the sculpture since Pain had signaled for his attendance, saying it was of the utmost importance he appeared. One arm yawned out to the sky while the other snaked around and brushed against the meat of the breasts ― your breasts. One leg stuck out before the other, the fat of the thigh attached concealing the womanhood. 

Your womanhood. 

Both futile attempts to afford the piece some decency. Futile, Deidara guessed, was the point. It was coquetry. A shameless attempt at flirtation on your part. 

And just in case Deidara was too dense to get the message, you’d taken it upon yourself to leave him one, attached to the foot of the sculpture’s dais:

Hello! Please deliver to Deidara. Thank you.  

It even had a smiley face after the period.

Deidara balled his fist. 

What. The. Fuck.

“(Y/n) must be an incredibly beautiful woman!” Tobi admired the piece with fascination, a sparkling heart encasing his eyehole. “Look at the face, and the hips, and the feet ― ”

“Tobi!” Deidara was beet red. “Shut the hell up!” 

“Deidara,” Pain spoke again, unfazed by the cacophony. “I’m sure you’ll be undertaking a journey west? Since (Y/n) has clearly requested you specifically.”

Deidara’s eyes yo-yoed between their leader and the monstrosity of the naked sculpture. He debated it. Of course, all while fantasizing about shoving explosives down the laughing fishman’s throat and turning him into a pile of sardines. 

Tobi can taste one himself, while I’m at it.  

“What?” Irritation bit Deidara’s tone. “We’re fucking prostitutes now?” 

Pain raised holographic brows. “If it ensures peace, then yes.”

Deidara’s mouth dropped. The audacity of it all. How much was he expected to take? 

“We’re waiting, Deidara.”

A pause. He was no fool. This wasn’t a request, it was an expectation. 

“Fine,” Deidara sighed irritably. “I’ll go, all right?”

“You better,” Kisame said, at last recovering from his fit. “Better get those high heels out and start walking the streets, too!”

Deidara was ready to draw blood ― 

“No need to be crude, Kisame,” Pain’s backdropped against another fit of raucous laughter. 

Says the man who puts a naked STATUE in the room.

“ Honestly, ” Kakuzu spat. “Do the rest of us have to be here for this?” 

“I second that!” Hidan said with relief, “Finally, something we can agree on. ”

“Of course,” Pain said. “You were here in the event Deidara tried to refuse.”

Deidara ignored them all. He gave the sculpture one more scan before swallowing dry and awaiting the end of the call. He could not believe your gall. You were so … brazen . A simple love letter couldn’t have sufficed? No? A naked ― What the fuck was the matter with you?

Still, he was … intrigued. Curiosity was a hooking finger, beckoning him forth. Was that really … your body? Your lips? Your thighs? Your …

Deidara swallowed dry again, his tongue sticking to the top of his palate.

He’d go to the village and put an end to your games. 

And maybe …

He wouldn’t let himself go there ― even if his treacherous mind was wandering already.

<<<>>>

You sat in your museum of sculptures, head tilted up against the gods you had crafted.

The door creaked open.

“I just received Pain’s crow,” your assistant’s voice rang. “Deidara should arrive in another day or so.” 

Stars were in your eyes but you kept your back to her. “Great!”

Your grand plan relied on whether or not Pain, mysterious leader of the Akatsuki, was morally bankrupt enough to hoe out his members. At any point you could’ve been rejected with your sculpture returned swiftly to you. But it worked. You were thrilled. The first part of the plan had succeeded. 

You were going to see him again.

Your assistant’s footsteps tapped repeatedly over the polish floors upon which you now sat. 

“Hmm.” Doubt deflated some of your enthusiasm. “Do you think it was effective enough? You know, for him?”

Your assistant huffed incredulously. “What? Just because Deidara’s a shinobi means he’s immune to pussy? C’mon. You’re not one of those types that thinks all shinobi are noble and stone-faced, are you, (Y/n)-sama?”

  As if. You guffawed. Nobility wasn’t the issue; hundreds of people scoured the red light districts for carnal game. You told your assistant as such. 

“At least seventy percent are shinobi searching for quick thrills,” You joked. “If my math’s correct, anyway. It could be higher. And I know any one of them would be more than happy if a girl simply threw herself at them without need for reimbursement. But still …” You trailed, gaze tailing down the hardened clay of a kimono-garbed sculpture. “I only wondered. It’s been a long time since … I don’t know how dedicated he is to his little terrorist group, is all. He might not be as amused.”

“You answered your own question, ma’am,” your assistant said. “And even if he wasn’t a shinobi, he’s a man. It’ll go down without a hitch! You worry too much.”

You nodded. She was right: despite the years, you wanted to speak to Deidara in his language. Art. How could he resist such an enticement? How could any man, but especially Deidara, due to the manner in which you had sent your little gift. “Okay. Part one of the plan: Complete!”

“What’s the rest of the plan exactly?” You heard the pat, pat, pat and knew from your many years with your assistant that she was thumping her clipboard against her head. “Dinner? Walk on the beach? Or just … Fucking?”

Your smile was evil. “Yes.” 

You held Deidara in your mind’s palm. Blonde hair, gorgeous face .. . One of the most admired artists in Iwakagure ― no, the most. For  could rival Deidara? Even your knees wobbled in the face of his raw talent, even years later. He was still revered in the art community. Of course, his name grew to possess more notoriety than reverence when he started blowing up things ― and people. But, hey everyone was flawed. 

It was only when he went rogue and abandoned the village did you start your own search for him. Years passed and then … reports of a long-haired, blonde shinobi with profound arsonry acuity. Rogue. Affinity for birds.

Bingo. 

Your giggle was shamelessly girlish. “I’d love to woo him.”

Your assistant chuckled. “Aaand you’re not the slightest bit afraid of him? I mean, with all respect, (Y/n)-sama, he’s a criminal. He’s an arsonist. ” 

You licked your lips. “Love me a bad boy.”

“Right,” she said with a chuckle. “Forget I said anything.” 

“I will. Now, let’s get ready.”

<<<>>>

“We’re going to see the girl with the pretty feet, aren’t we, Senpai?” 

“I told you to shut your mouth, Tobi.” 

Deidara’s taller partner buoyed from foot to foot as he tailed behind. Deidara didn’t want to think about your body ― your incredibly artful body, artful in more ways than one … 

The sun crept from the sky as it vivified the color of peachskin. Deidara’s eyes darted hither-thither, collecting information. It was all he could do to not summon one of his explosive birds and fly over this entire, forgotten village. The urge to set it ablaze and go home was immense. A part of him had wanted to make such an entrance, but prudency would never allow it. 

Nor would Leader.

Deidara turned back to Tobi just in time to see him pose, a hand visoring his visible eye while the other landed on his hip. 

“Leader said the pretty naked lady would have someone waiting for us,” Tobi said. 

“Hm,” Deidara said. It was true; they would wait for someone to escort them to you. Until then, they remained lost in one of the village’s districts. The streets were alive with noise and peopled with busy folk. Deidara could tell the amount of businesses actually open were sparse.  Pain had called you one of their main contributors … She must be a big wig to have people doing her dirty work for her. Just who were you? And how were you so familiar with him to send such a thing to the Akatsuki headquarters? 

And if you were so rich, why did you squalor in the dirt with the likes of those in this village?

Thoughts bubbled in the back of Deidara’s mind― 

“Hey …!” 

Outside of a food stall a woman eyed them, holding a curtain back with manicured nails.

Bingo . 

“Tobi,” Deidara gestured. “C’mon.” 

“Okay, senpai!” 

Deidara neared the food stall.

The woman ticked her head to the side with a smile. “Enjoy your gift?”

Pink colored Deidara’s cheeks.

“So, you’re escorting us, right?”

The woman backed away to admit them into the food stall, where the people inside, dining on bowls of ramen and mackerel were too engrossed in their meals to notice the cloaked men enter. 

“You got me,” she winked. “C’mon.”

The woman led them behind the bar, where they slinked through the backdoor into the alley. 

“Don’t need anyone asking questions about the cloaks,” she reasoned. “Surprised you didn’t think of that, Oh Great Deidara of Iwakagure.”

“Of course I did!” Deidara said. “I look stupid to you?”

“No,” the woman’s eyes roamed on Deidara now. “You look cute . My mistress really didn’t lie …” 

Deidara averted his gaze as the woman snickered. Tobi gawked. 

“Does lady think Tobi’s cute, too?” 

“Uh,” she blinked. “Sure.” 

Tobi twirled with a squeal. Deidara rolled his eyes. 

“Whatever,” Deidara said. “Just take us to meet her, all right?”

“Sure …” the woman said. 

They traveled through as street lights blared to life, the sky a bruising purple as evening descended.

“I only wanted us in there to help us blend in a bit,” she guided them through the streets. “I hope it wasn’t too troublesome getting here.” 

“We can care for ourselves,” Deidara said, prickly. 

“You don’t have to be so defensive,” the woman said. “I’m just making conversation.”

“I said don’t worry about it,” Deidara snapped. “So … who is this woman? This mistress of yours?” 

“I’m one of her many assistants, yeah,” the woman said, leading them down a dark street, made darker by the light of day dying faster. “I started working for her years ago. I was so amazed by her art and so intimidated by her talent, I didn’t think she’d accept me. But, surprise surprise.”

“Yeah? So how she so rich? She sell her art?”

“Exactly! People come from all over the world to see her exhibits. She brings so much tourism to this ragtag village. She doesn’t even keep her wealth to herself; she donates so much. She should be much richer than she is! She’s a saint, really.”

So she donates to the Akatsuki, the deadpan of the thought laid flat in his mind. Deidara was silent, tailing shortly behind her. Some saint.

“You called me Deidara of Iwakagure.”

“ … Yes, I suppose I did.”

“So … Your mistress … she knows where I’m from.”

The woman was silent now as she led Deidara and Tobi down street steps to a quieter street, nearly bereft of people beside the occasional deadbeat smoker. 

“She from there, too?” 

Deidara went unanswered. 

Hm, so I’m on to something, Deidara noticed the buildings growing taller, treeing up as the raucous of the village slipped away. They traveled further south. Maybe Pain’s got this wrong; maybe this girl’s a fucking black widow and wants revenge on me for something. Figures, he’s sure he’s broken a few hearts in the past he’d long since forgotten about. But then … Why would she donate so much money to our organization? She clearly believes in it.

“We’re here,” the woman-assistant said.

Deidara raised his head ― and kept raising it. 

Shit . 

The mansion was immaculate, easily the tallest of all of its sisters. Its main building was flanked by towers with onioned tips and was encased in a giant garden, all of it shielded by a surrounding wall. 

Deidara stared, bug-eyed.

The doors to the gate’s entrance burst open and a gaggle of girls filed through. 

“They’re here ―!” 

“Ooh~! there’s two of ‘em!” 

“Mistress will be so pleased!” 

Girls stood star-eyed at Deidara while more hugged themselves to Tobi’s arms. 

“Tobi likes pretty girls!”

“We’ll entertain the other one,” the woman-assistant said with a wink. “You just follow us.”

The woman-assistant led them in where the cult of girls drove Tobi away laughing and giggling. 

“This way,” the woman said. 

Deidara followed her, looking around. From the inside, the mansion opened up like some grand palace from myth, folkloric and mysterious. Columns shouldered the brunt of a ceiling that raised into the darkness. The floors were illustrated scenes from what Deidara recognized as actual myths. Valiant samurais rescued princesses with flaring kimonos, dragons ribboned down hallways. The scenes on the walls diverged from the ones of nobility beneath them, were lavish with depictions of wild courtesans and … 

Deidara blushed. 

Begrudgingly, he had to admit you did have taste; the art was a lot, but wove together into one cohesive masterpiece. The hallways the assistant led him down were flanked by vases winking with sheen and overflowed with bell flowers, roses, sunflowers. The hallway widened into a foyer. Something winked in Deidara’s peripheral and when he looked upward saw that the ceiling domed into a orb of glass, giving way to the first few blink of stars. 

He had entered the lion’s den for sure.

“ Deidara … ” 

The sirenic voice compelled his head to a foyer alcove where a figure shrouded the threshold. 

His eyes widened. 

(E/c) eyes glittered at him. Long legs supported swaying hips. Elegant cleavage sinking into a familiar mound of breasts. Delicate hands, hickey-worthy neck … 

And lovely ― and lovely … 

Inwardly, he sighed, defeated.

Feet.  

The naked sculpture colored Deidara’s memory. 

“Deidara!” You parroted in awe. Your expression shifted as you came to smolder at him. “In the flesh. And just in time for dinner.”

Your kimono waterfalled as you left the alcove. Deidara gulped, speechless as you sauntered to him.

“It ―” Deidara’s cheeks grew hot. “It really is you …” 

“It really is me …” 

Your woman-assistant's eyes tennis-balled between you and Deidara before bowing respectfully. “I’ll give you two some privacy.” 

She hurried away down a different alcove. 

Deidara shook his head in a desperate attempt to reclaim his senses. Fucking hell, Dei, get a grip.

“So,” he cleared his throat. “I ―”

“I still can’t believe you’re actually here,” You began to turn, “Let me show you ―”

“Wait, I think we should discuss monetary terms first,” Deidara said in a futile attempt to hold some ground over the woman. 

“Hm?” You blinked. “Didn’t your leader explain things to you?”

“What do you mean?”

“The money comes after the evening,” you winked at him. “Of course.” 

Pain, you fucking ― 

“Deidara …” You revered, pulling the sleeve of your kimono back over your shoulder. “Before dinner, I would love for you to see the rest of my work.” 

“Your,” Deidara deadpanned, blinking, “work?”

“Yes,” You smirked at him. “You enjoyed the piece I already had you review, I presume?” 

Deidara fought to keep things on the issue at hand, but his eyes grew preoccupied with the twinkle in yours. The sky above the two of you had plunged into a chief darkness. Candles flared to life to douse the hall in tangerine light. 

Deidara turned a blind eye to it. “Your assistant called me Deidara of Iwakagure.” 

You eyed him. “Did she …?” you said coyly. “I’m glad she didn’t try and call you anything else; she’s got a mouth on her.”

“How do you know me?” 

You shied away. Your head dipped. Deidara tried to ignore the cuteness of it all. 

Focus, damnit.

“I’m guessing you’re from Iwagakure, too?” Deidara pressed. “What are you playing at?” 

You took your time. “Yeah, Deidara, we have a village in common.” You began to walk, crossing the columns to circle him. “Do you remember the underground competitions that used to be held there?” 

“Hm,” Deidara recalled and relished in the ego trip it afforded him. Dark rooms. Rowdy spectators circled around art pieces under makeshift stage lights like cavemen around fire. It was before he left the Iwagakure, when he was still itching to engage in the village’s indie art scene before growing bored of the whole thing. “I won most of them.” 

“I used to show up early and wait for you to showcase your things,” You glazed with memory. “You were always my favorite.” 

Deidara smirked. “Hm, naturally. So you’re, what, some kind of superfan Not like I’m surprised, but …”

You thread past a column to scoop up a candle holder. 

“You could say that,” you said. I have something to show you, if you follow me.”

He obliged, curiosity hooking him with a second finger. Candle flame lit like thin clovers to ward off the darkness. The flames illuminated the sway of your hips as he trailed. The sleeve of your kimono slipped past your shoulder again, revealing the skin of your neck and shoulder pad to him …

Why am I even noticing? 

You brought him to a room hidden behind a set of rectangular doors.

“This is where I keep them.” 

You pushed the doors open with a strength Deidara wouldn’t have expected. 

Deidara entered ― and stopped.

It was a museum of art; animal pieces blazed his vision; exotic birds in flight, elegant cranes, all shaded and hued with masterful care and, if Deidara hadn’t been who he was, he wouldn’t have been able to recognize them as pieces done with clay. There were apricot-colored foxes, a dragon head amongst a dragon bust. Deidara recognized a few self sculptures in the forest of pieces. Obscure structures too abstract to be assigned to names dotted space, esoteric symbols eluding even him …

“You inspired me to create my own art,” You explained as he gawked. You inched to him and brazenly took his hand in yours.

Deidara jumped from the sudden contact and found your pretty face in the dim light. Stop … stop. A part of him wanted to summon a tongue to taste the salt on your palm. 

“It’s how I’ve made my money,” you continued as you tugged him along the aisles of work like an excited child.

“So you’re that kind of fan,” Deidara said as he recovered. And, what do you want from me?” he chuckled in disbelief, “My critique?”

“Of course.” 

He wasn’t expecting an honest answer forthright. Sincerely, he roved eyes over your work. 

“Hm, well …” he approached one, taking inventory of it head to foot. “Give me the candle.”

You obeyed.

“You’ve got a great understanding of color, I’ll give you that,” Deidara examined. “Painting can be messy, especially on clay ― and honestly so many artists use colors so … bluntly; it makes the whole thing come off as garish.”

“I’ve noticed.”

He laughed at that. “Hm! … You’ve got a great eye. And I don’t hand out compliments easily.” He raised the candle to illuminate another sculpture. “How long did this one take you?” 

“Five weeks,” You answered before chuckling somewhere behind him. “It’s funny, I sketched and re-sketched this one so many times, it was technically seven weeks.”

“A perfectionist. I like that.” 

Deidara found himself smiling. Rarely did he get to talk to someone about art or its many processes. Deidara thought of Sasori and was touched with a tinge of respect for his fallen partner. But, of course, they’re philosophies so often chafed against one another. But you … An image of him helping you craft one of your pieces came to his mind: his hands guiding yours over unsophisticated clay, paint dashing your collarbone, maybe on your lips … 

“Deidara …?”

Your voice brought him out of his thoughts, only for him to realize you were now in front of him. 

“We could talk about this more over dinner.” 

Your hands grazed his forearms and for some reason he didn’t pull away. The alluring scent of your perfume flirted up his nose. 

Deidara’s cock twitched; he kicked himself inwardly. What was he? A fucking teenage boy? He had half of a mind to shove you away, end this … whatever this was.

But none of that happened. Instead, he agreed. And, taking his hand again with fingers threaded through his, you led him out of your museum. 

<<<>>>

You let him to the roof of one of your buildings, where moonlight bestowed diamonds over the still waters of your pool and the dinner table waited, illuminated by more candles. 

“You’re a real hot shot now, aren’t you?” Deidara said.

You blushed as he surveyed dinner. “Is it too much?” 

“Nah, if anything it’s just the artist in you dying to come out,” he shrugged. “I respect that.”

You moved to take a seat, Deidara following you. He stopped you, pulling out the chair for you. 

You sank to your chair with a mixture of surprise and thrill. “What a gentleman. ”

“Just showing my respect, is all.” 

You snapped your fingers and two waiters appeared to kneel before you, plates of food in hand. 

Deidara did a double-take. “Wow.”

The waiters displayed the food and took their leave. His favorite: bakudan.

“You think of everything, don’t you?” Deidara said.

“Yeah.”

“Hm …” he could not pretend as though he was not impressed, but he could try as he took his seat.

He remembered the art shows in Iwagakure. You were always there? Did he ever see you? Even if he had, you would’ve been little more than a nobody to him, another sycophant he rightfully deserved amongst a herd of fawns and nothing more. You’re telling me all that time … I had a groupie groupie?

“Hey,” he said. “Remember when you said you used to attend my showcases.”

You lowered your fork to raise your brows. “I remember ten minutes ago, yeah.”

Deidara’s own brow twitched. Cheeky cunt . Then kicked himself; he didn’t want to think about your cunt. He watched your tongue swipe your plump lower lip ― then kicked himself again. 

“Why didn’t you ever try to talk to me?” Deidara asked. “I mean,” he leaned back in his chair, dangling his fork, “not like I needed any encouragement, even back then, but what gives? If you were such a fan ―”

“I was shy, back then …” You said. You toyed with your food. You had turned bashful, like a schoolgirl. “Still am, to be honest.”

He scoffed. “Hm! Says the woman who sends naked sculptures of herself to people.” 

You waved your fork. “What can I say? You bring out the wild girl in me,” The glint in your eye turned seductive. “Always have …”

Deidara gulped. What did that mean? You play with yourself with me in mind? Is that it?

Thinking that was another mistake;  images of you sieved into his mind. Sweet, feminine hands sinking in between the softness of your thighs, fingers grazing your wet lips to ... 

What did you smell like? Did you smell as good there as you did everywhere else? 

He shook his head. Fuck . 

“So you’re telling me,” Deidara said just to say something, “you have absolutely no issue with what I do.” 

“I don’t know,” You coquetted. “What do you do?”

“Don’t play coy . You contacted Akatsuki. You know damn well what I mean.” 

You were silent. 

“Killing people,” Deidara said. “Blowing them to smithereens. Kidnapping. The gods know what else. You’re cool with all that?”

Your manicured hand wrapped around your wine glass. You raised it, but before bringing it to your lips: 

“Birds of a feather.” 

You drank. 

What? 

“Come again?” 

You smacked your lips. “You’re not the only one who’s killed a few.” 

A pause. You set aside your drink before challenging his gaze. 

“Care to elaborate?” he asked. 

“I had an assistant once,” you began. “She told me she was desperate for a job, but you wouldn’t know by the run of her mouth. She complained, took off without warning. But then it turned out she had sticky fingers; she tried to steal one of my pieces. I’d had enough.” You leaned over the table as though you feared Deidara wouldn’t hear. “So I killed her. Used her for my piece after the last.”

“And,” Deidara swallowed, “your current girl …”

“You’ve already met her,” you said. “She’s mouthy, too ― but not to me.” 

You had killed, not only that ― encased a girl inside your work. She had wanted your art, and she had gotten her wish. 

“That’s …” Deidara trailed. “... Amazing.”

You smiled. “So, you see, I have no problem with what you do. Who am I to judge, am I right?” 

“Do the villagers judge you?”

“This village has seen enough strife for a lifetime,” You said. “I don’t think they’d mind learning about indiscretion ― especially if they knew why I killed her.”

Deidara raised an eyebrow. “So you donate bundles of cash to clear your conscience?”

“My conscience is clear,” You said. “People shouldn’t have to suffer any more than they already do. I want this village to prospect. I donate because I want to.” You popped a piece of food into your mouth. “You never answered me, by the way.”

“About what?” 

“The sculpture,” Your eyes narrowed with coquetry again, a glint especially bright and beautiful in your eye with aid from the moonlight. “Did you like it?” 

Deidara’s heart beat especially loud in his ears ― and this time he didn’t kick himself for it. 

“... Yeah,” he relented. “Yeah, I liked it.” 

“And it’s been a long time since I’ve seen any of your work, Deidara,” You raised to leave your seat. “Why don’t you show me something?” 

Deidara’s eyes widened. Far was he ever from an opportunity to flex his brilliance, especially on someone so appreciative ― so 

deserving. 

“Sure!”

Enthusiasm straightened your shoulders. “Really? I mean, If you need ―”

“I don’t need anything,” he said, waving you away. “Just stand back!” 

You obeyed, eyes bright from the contagion of his excitement. So aptly memorized did he have the hand signs, Deidara didn’t care to glance at them. Instead, he watched you try to futilely follow his movements. 

<<<>>>

Clay spilled like milk from mouths on Deidara’s hands to form into creatures before your eyes ― you blinked furiously and each time you did another creature was born; small dragons, spherical creatures with eyes, birds, and one, growing piece of clay, raising meters above the ground. It looked like a snowman to you but, knowing Deidara, it was leagues more dangerous. 

You stepped back, overwhelmed by the breadth of Deidara’s creation, Deidara’s artistry . 

One of Deidara’s clay birds flapped its wings, swerved in the air and landed gracefully on the cliff of your shoulder. 

“So,” Deidara’s smirk brightened his face and sent a throb to your nether regions, “what do you think?” 

What do I think? You pet the bird’s clay-made wing. What do I think?  

You took a step. The roof crowded with his creatures to dab white ivory among the encroaching night. 

Surely, it helped being a ninja; Deidara possessed powers you could only dream of understanding. Still. Your mouth hung agape at the amount of things he could spring alive from the literal palms of his hand. Your eyes followed up at his bigger piece, more of a monument to you than a mound of clay. 

He’s a god. A god among men. A god of art.

“Hm!” 

Poof.

You startled. Some of the pieces began disappearing. They left the roof choking with smoke until only his large, snowman-like piece remained. 

“I see you’ve been stunned into silence by my art,” Deidara said. 

You didn’t reply, only began to step forward. 

“Hm!” Deidara looked away, crossed his arms. “It’s only natural, after all, to have your breath taken away by my artiste.” 

Another step. Another. 

“I’m sure our leader didn’t even tell you what I’m capable of.”

Another. 

“It’s a good thing, too ―” 

You were running now. 

“It would’ve spoiled the surprise ―” 

You pounced on Deidara. He cried out but you barely heard it as the force propelled you both backward, falling hard and fast into the swimming pool. 

<<<>>>

Bubbles spilled from Deidara’s mouth. He could feel your hands on him, somewhere, everywhere ― 

He looked to the surface of the water and swam toward it. He could not feel your hands anymore.

He came up for air, looking around for you. 

“(Y/n)!” 

Then you emerged ― but he had no time to register it as your arms came around him. You pulled him down toward you, your lips crashing into his in a wet kiss. 

“Mm …!” 

Your tongue ran over the hard shell of his palate. Your hands held his cheeks. Your legs hooked around his waist to trap him between your thighs.

“That was ― mm ― the most ― mm ― amazing thing I’ve ever ― mm! ― seen!”

Deidara’s hands found you ― and immediately met skin; your kimono, having not been able to withstand the pull of the water, slid dangerously past your shoulders, the folds opened wide so he could feel the full cushion of your breasts against him. 

Oh, fuck.

Just as he began to play with your tongue, you broke away.

You faced him with heavy-lidded eyes, drops of water falling from your abused lips. 

“Let me make good on my promises to Pain,” Your hands hooked behind his neck. 

“Wha ― what?”

“Fuck me, Deidara,” Your voice was thick with lust. “I told him the quantity of my donation was completely dependent on how hard you fucked me. It would be an honor to be fucked by such an amazing artist!” 

That sent something to his dick. 

The surprise dissipated. He smirked. “Really …? Is that so …” 

He gripped your throat and hoisted you above him. He heard you gasp and tightened his grip, feeling the twitch of his cock in response to the  victimized sound. 

“Beg for it,” he ordered.

“ Oh … ” You whimpered. Your head fell back as Deidara’s hand served as a brace. 

He reached downward and tugged at the wet bow of your kimono. He yanked it and reveled in it coming apart to reveal the rest of you.

“ Beg. For me .”

Everything you did and had done was a plea for him, he admitted, but the idea of you begging vocally made him painfully hard. His eyes drank in your naked form still half submerged in the water. Wet tits in his face. A droplet of water fell away from a nipple. 

“Please …” came your breathless voice. “Please, fuck me ― oh … ” 

He thumbed at the tempting nipple, pert and so responsive to his touch. 

“ Nothing underneath, ” he feigned chastisement, pinching the nipple between his fingers. “Fucking slut .” 

He tightened his grip twofold and was pleasantly surprised with the moan you rewarded him with. The strict fit of his pants was becoming too much to bear. You jerked in his hold, tits jiggling in his face. 

“ Please, fuck me, Deidara!” 

Satisfied, He set you down and watched you bounce in the water before yanking you forward. He pressed his mouth against yours once again. You reached for him to no avail; he spun you, your back now pressed hard against the side of the pool. He released your mouth to dabble kisses at your neck, biting at pieces of skin. 

“ Fuck …!” You arched and Deidara fell into the dip of your curve.

You gripped his hand to bring it to your face. He stopped kissing you to look at what you had in mind, his tongue still present at his palm. 

Your lips traced his palm and began to kiss the tongue there. 

“Mmm …”

Deidara laughed as you tongue-kissed his hand. “You really are a fucking weirdo, aren’t you?”

The tongue slithered over your own. You released a moan and closed your mouth over the tongue, a flushed red tainting your cheeks. Your hand pressed behind the back of his hand, forcing it to deepen the kiss, to nibble at his tongue. Deidara hitched a breath. You sucked it further into your mouth. 

“ Ah ― y … you wanna suck on something so badly …” Deidara murmured. “MaybeI should give you something more legit, hm …”

You mewled in approval. His tongue retreated from your mouth and he felt a twinge of triumph when you gasped for air. He approached you. A hand ghosted over your neck before ramming you hard against the wall of the pool, the force with which he’d done it so hard he was sure its cement edge imprinted on your upper back. With his other hand he tugged his trousers down. 

You met his eyes.

“Take a deep breath.” 

And he plunged you into the water.

He looked down, watched the water dance as your squiggly reflection gripped his cock and fit it into your mouth. 

Deidara groaned. His head fell back as you hollowed your cheeks and took him in. The water did nothing to stall your mouth; you bobbed your head, stroking what couldn’t fit into your mouth. 

Deidara steadied himself with a hand at the pool’s edge, entranced by how your tongue rolled back to lick his head each time you pulled away, only to take him deep into the back of your throat when pulling in ― 

“ Nargh …! ” 

A hand palmed at his balls while another tightened around his cock. Deidara reached for your head in the water to thread fingers into your head and force you harder onto his cock. 

“ Aah … shit! ” He wanted you to choke on it. He wanted to own your mouth. 

And apparently you wanted that, too; you popped him from your mouth a few times. You hadn’t come up for air once since he’d submerged you, his cock now your only business. He yanked your head up. He forced a kiss, the taste of himself in your mouth driving him mad.

“Enjoying dinner, I see, hm, hah …” he quipped, eyes heavy on your hand still stroking his cock. “What a pro. ” 

“Only for you, Deidara-senpai. ”

You hand abandoned his cock and you licked him off your palm. Without his help you went under, fitting his cock in your mouth a second time. Deidara kept your hair from your mouth as you sucked him. His cockhead hit the back of your throat and, oh , you didn’t choke, only took more, more. Greedy cunt. 

He imagined you practicing this for him, only for him, your senpai. Your mouth hungering for what wasn’t truly there. Deidara squeezed eyes shut; close, close. You were sucking his cock as though his was the only one in the world, worshiping with your mouth and tongue. He imagined your lungs desperate for air, screaming for them, yet your mouth too transfixed to care. 

A fucking servant for him, obedient to his cock. 

Deidara’s cock twitched. His groan was low and rumbling as he spilled his seed into your willing mouth. You sucked hard, jerked him into your mouth. Your mouth slicked with his cum and grew impossibly warm. Saliva and his own seed coated his cock. 

“Aaah-ha- ahh …! ” 

He scalped you as he emptied into your mouth, cum guzzling down your throat.

At last, you popped him from your mouth and emerged before him, mouth and lips thoroughly abused.

Deidara’s gaze cast down on you. He caught his breath in the seconds absent of words. 

“I could use a girl like you,” Deidara exhaled. 

You popped your lips, eyes dreamy and narrow. “I think you just did,”

“Hm! An apprenticeship, then?”

You recovered immediately. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted.” 

He smirked at his own prospect and pulled you to him. “C’mere.”

He emerged from the pool before helping you follow suit. He removed his black fishnet shirt and flung it away. He drank you in. Naked, in the flesh ― and wet, right when he thought you couldn’t be improved upon.

You settled atop the dinner table and waited for him. Deidara came to you.

“Spread those legs.” 

 You acquiesced. He licked his lips at the sight of your puffy, glistening cunt.

“You wouldn’t be my first,” You said, “but you’ll be my last.”

He slotted into the space you afforded him. He caressed your vulva before giving it a firm slap. You yelped and his lip upturned at the sound. He slid a finger between your folds, encouraged by your appreciative mewls. 

He gripped the fat of your cheeks and forced you to look at him and not his adventurous fingers. 

“Your best. ” 

You hooked your legs behind him as he geared his cock grazed your folds ― 

And thought he might cum just from the sound of your drawn out moan when he slid inside you. 

He bucked from instinct, the firm grip of your twat clouding his senses. Again he went for your throat, the appendage becoming its permanent resting place. 

“This is what you wanted, right?” Deidara breathed out, thrusting hard. “Leader’s gonna get his fucking money’s worth …” 

Hands gripped his wrists tight as he began to fuck you, the table wobbling slightly underneath your mewling body. 

“Yes …! Ye―Yes, oh!” You clung to him, Deidara’s hands upholding you. “ Fuc ― oh, Yes! I owe Pain my life ― oh! ” 

He released your throat just to bite at it. He sunk his teeth into your skin while his hands committed to making scarlet red prints against your ass.

“ Fuck, you’re ―” Deidara stammered. The feel of your cunt swallowing him was too much. He recalled Kisame’s threat to fuck you himself. Not on your life, sharkman . And he felt himself thrust hard just to affirm you were his. He’d set the entire world ablaze before anyone else could experience the wonderful grip of your cunt. “You’re mine. ”

You tugged him to your lips again and kissed him. A moan from you vibrated against his lips. He reached downward to tease your clit and your legs trembled at his sides.

“ Fuck, Deida ―” You flung your head back. “ I’m ― ”

He knocked you onto the table and lifted your legs over his shoulders. He began to pound you, relishing in the bounce of your tits. Plates fell to the floor and shattered as he wrecked your cunt. 

He choked you again, sure there would be a greater hand-shaped bruise once he was through. He flicked your clit, thumbed it. Your scream rumbled under his grip as his balls slapped your ass. 

Your moans grew shrill, and you clenched ―

“ Fuck …! ” Deidara lost himself in your tight cunt. He slapped your clit, grip dangerously tight at your neck―

“Yes, please!” You called out as you came, “Dei― Deidara!”

Spurts of cum left his cock and sucked into your cunt. You convulsed and convulsed. You showed him the whites of your eyes as you came. Deidara held you to him by your thighs. A few more weak thrusts and he gave out on top of you, his chin hiding in the crook of your shoulder.

A few moments passed. Deidara raised his head, caught you over the corner of his eye. “So … everything you wanted?”

“And more, ” You sang.

He maneuvered to place a kiss at the heart of your collarbone, still so fascinated with it. He removed himself from you before assisting you as best as he could. 

“Did you mean it?” You inquired after a few moments more.

“Hm?” 

“About me being your apprentice?” 

“... Hm,” Deidara shrugged. “Well, I’ll have to check my schedule. But, if it all adds up, I wouldn’t mind having you by my side.” 

You squealed, engulfed him in a hug. 

“Ah, ah!” Deidara fought you off. “Okay, okay, whatever!”

“Oh, I’m so excited! ” You bounced. “So, so ― wait!” 

You pulled back, smirked up at him.

“I almost forgot,” You said. “Your payment … ”

<<<>>>

“Two million yen,” Pain said. “All in a single donation ― our highest to date. I assume it went well?” 

“Hm!” Deidara said. “Very!”

“And Miss (Y/n) tells me she’ll be requesting you monthly from now on,” Pain continued. “Each time with the same donation or higher.” 

“Are you telling me Deidara’s dick is going to fund all our expeditions from now on?” Kisame mocked. 

“And the rest of our lives,” Kakuzu’s voice tipped in interest, “if this goes on …”

“Don’t get any ideas, Kakuzu!” Hidan barked. “We’re not whoring ourselves out.”

“Shut up,” Kakuzu bit back. “I’ve never even thought about it. Unless …”

“What girl would wanna fuck you? ” 

“A satisfied and wealthy client means less worry over how we secure our money,” Pain said, ignoring the bickering, “so, in a manner of speaking, yes. Deidara will aid in contributions― as we all should.” 

“Well, then, we’re all set!” Deidara said. 

“There’s just one thing that irks me about this whole endeavor,” Pain said. “... Where is Tobi?” 

“...”

“... He didn’t come back with you, did he?” 

“... No.”

“...” 

Pain sighed.

“... Go back and get him, Deidara.”

[takenbypeter]

Heyo you already know it’s gonna be Peter Maximoff! Sooooo reader and Peter are a couple but sleep in separate dorms?rooms? idk what you would call it but they obvi live in Xavier’s school for gifted youngsters. Anyways, reader told Peter she was going to bed a little earlier just to tell him. He agrees without putting too much thought into it and continues on whatever he’s doing. Until he’s getting ready for bed and goes into his closet and notices….. one of his shirts are missing. He is speeding around looking for it even though he technically doesn’t need it at this millisecond, it’s just the thought of him not knowing where it is that’s bugging him. He cannot find it anywhere in his room. So he goes out….. assuming somebody is messing with him. Wakes up the guys who might’ve done it like Cyclops, Nightcrawler, even the Beast cuz he just “KNOWS”. Probably cuz Peter knows he’s a bit (a lot) of a butthead to them and maybe someday they’ll want some payback and today was the day. But all of them denied it and Peter is going absolutely insane. He now gets all the X-men in one room and THEY ARE NOT LEAVING UNTIL THIS CASE IS SOLVED (his band t-shirts are a priority). Somebody has to be lying and he brings in the big guns. He’s woken up Xavier. (yes he woke him up, put him in his wheelchair, and sped him into the room) He would’ve just asked Jean to read their minds but she might try to protect Cyclops or something. The arguing got louder since the X-men were all now stuck in a room, annoyed at Peter for waking them up, and still don’t really know what the heck is going on. Reader wakes up from the noise to see what all the bickering was about. There she opens the door all eyes on her staring right at the supposed “missing” shirt she was wearing. Heads turning back to Peter most (all) of them with angry faces and reader with a confused look. Peter sweetly walks to reader without an anger in sight. (he’s never angry at her and thinks she looks cute in the shirt) He comforts her as if nothing had happened and puts her back to sleep. The team’s jaws just drops in utter disbelief. A couple minutes later he comes back to the angry faces and awkwardly apologizes. As soon as he noticed he’s got no sympathy he speeds aways. Let’s just say there was a bit of a goose chase throughout the night until they tackled him down. This is just a silly and LONG request. Sorry :/

Too Cute To Blame

Peter Maximoff x reader

Words: 1561

Authors note: hey hey bestie 🌺 so glad to get a request from you, I loved this idea so funny 🤣thanks for the request and enjoy

It was another one of those nights in the X-mansion. No missions, no actual fighting, it was just a normal day filled with a number of training and lessons to practically bore your mind, but you knew they were important. At least it was over for the day.

You were currently in your boyfriend Peter’s room as you two typically were, if not your own. It was getting late and he was spread out on his mattress with his eyes shut and his hands folded together behind his head while he bobbed it to his music that played throughout the room.

You listened too, initially starting the night cuddled against him until you got slightly bored and opted to read in his desk chair.

But as you checked the clock that he had displayed underneath some papers you realized just how late it was and that's when you decided to call it quits for the night.

Packing up your things you got up and leaned over him, “I’m heading to my room, I’ll see you tomorrow,” you say and with his eyes closed he puckered his lips and you bent down to meet them for a quick kiss. “Goodnight,” you said and he repeated.

As you stood back up you looked around making sure you weren’t forgetting anything and that’s when your eyes landed on one of his band shirts. It was in his clean clothing pile on the floor with other clothes and before you could give it another thought, you took it.

You didn’t think it was a big deal but apparently it was.

Peter stayed up for about two more hours before he decided to at least attempt at sleep. After getting up from his lazy position he zoomed on over to his pile that he just washed and searching through it he realized the shirt he was planning on wearing was gone.

He knew he washed it, he absolutely washed it…didn’t he? Great now he was questioning himself.

Instead of thinking about it too much he continued his search practically tearing apart his closet, and dirty laundry bin in search of the black graphic tee.

It wasn’t a big deal or anything, it’s not like this was going to bug him for the rest of his life.

…except it was.

As he searches and searches, double checking every nook and cranny he finally comes to the conclusion that it’s not in here.

As a new thought popped into his brain he squinted while tilting his head, someone took his shirt.

“No he wouldn’t,” he mumbled to himself before he thought about it some more and let out a weary, “he would.”

And that’s when he sped off.

He knew exactly where he was headed to first. Scott’s room.

When he got to the place that he barely stepped foot in, he quickly put on Scott’s glasses before hovering over the boy, “hey,” he gave Scott’s face a little slap causing Scott’s eyes to flicker. When that didn’t do the trick he slapped harder, “hey!” That one seemed to do something as the mutant woke up, “what the f—“

“I know you took it,” Peter accused not wasting a second.

Scott looked around the room, his eyes landing on the darkness from the window,”what time ‘s it?”

Peter turned Scott’s head back to him while Scott easily pushed it away, “give me back my shirt.”

Scott let out an angry sigh as he turned to his side and covered his head trying to block out the light, “I don’t have your dumb shirt.”

Peter leaned back, still suspicious, “I don’t believe you.”

“Don’t flatter yourself. I don’t care about you that much.” Peter lifted a brow at Scott’s words, that was true. Maybe it wasn’t him.

In the next second Scott’s light was off and Peter was gone for his next suspect.

Arriving in the blue mutant’s room he leaned over the boy deciding if he should slap him as he did Scott or choose a different approach this time. As he was distracted, he noticed Kurt’s eyes beginning to open and he took the opportunity, “where is it?” He demanded.

Kurt yelped not expecting this at all, but once his eyes fully opened he calmed down realizing what was going on.

“What’s happening?”

“Someone took my shirt. Was it you?”

“Do you really believe I was the one to take it?”

Hmm, sure Peter’s bugged the kid but honestly, the blue mutant had a point and off Peter went. He sped right by Jean Grey’s room knowing; one, she would either protect her dumb boyfriend, or two, she probably had no idea either way, so instead he headed for the labs that he knew Hank would probably be in.

“Hey!” Peter shouted so unexpectedly he caught Hank off guard as he practically dropped whatever science tube he had in his hands, “where’s my shirt?”

Hank gave him a blank stare behind his safety goggles, before responding, “do I look like I know?”

Peter pressed his lips together as his hands interlocked with his pointer fingers pressing against his own lips in thought while he practically scanned the beast, “you honestly look like you know…everything,” Peter said before once again taking off.

And like that he spent the night practically waking half of the mutants of the building up but still he got no answer, which is when he decided to get the big guns.

But not just that, no, he was going to publicly embarrass whoever took his shirt so they won’t ever do it again. Gearing his body up he grabbed the closest suspect dropping them off in the lounge area of the building. Then he filled the room, and one by one he brought in every single mutant he suspected until he got Charles, yes Charles out here.

“Oh great the psycho’s back,” mumbled Jubilee as Peter took his place in the middle, while Charles was just beginning to process everything.

“Peter, what is going on?” Charles asked.

“I’m glad you asked,” the gray haired boy pointed a finger practically scanning the room, “someone in here took something of mine, something very precious.”

“It’s just a shirt!” Shouted Scott.

“A Pink Floyd shirt, it's very important.”

“A shirt?” Charles squeezed his eyes shut and his fingers went to his forehead already getting a headache despite having been just woken up. “Do I have to watch you all like children?”

Peter winced suddenly feeling like this wasn’t the best idea.

“Just go to bed, we can figure it out tomorrow,” suggested Kurt.

“No, we're doing this tonight. No one is leaving till we figure this out.”

“Okay will whoever did it just confess I prefer not to use my powers on such mundane behavior,” Charles said, currently regretting his decision to bring kids together like this.

“It wasn’t me,” could be heard followed by a bunch of, “wasn’t me either,” which was then followed by “will someone just confess already?” Which was followed by a “Scott we know you did it just give it back,” causing Scott and Jean to defend him before turning the suspicion on someone else thus creating a full circle of mutants blaming mutants throughout the room.

As the arguments grew, so did the noise, awaking most other mutants who hadn’t been accused yet.

Including you.

You woke up from a deep sleep to sudden shouting and curious about the ruckus you put on some nearby pants as you entered the mutant filled room with your boyfriend standing in the middle of it all.

“What’s going on?” You questioned eyes squinting trying to adjust to the sudden bright light of the room.

Nearby young ones looked to you before looking down a little, and began nudging one another. As everyone was suddenly becoming aware of what you were wearing the room grew quieter and quieter but you, too tired to think, only kept your eyes on Peter who just realized you had entered the room.

It took only one second for Peter to glance down and easily spot the shirt he’s been desperately searching for. But instead of scolding you or accusing you like he did the others, he just runs to you immediately wrapping his arms around you while internally gushing about how cute you look in his old t-shirt.

“It’s nothing. Just an argument but it’s settled now.”

“Oh okay?” You said head still propped on his shoulder as he had his arms around you. Soon enough he removed his arms and just took your hand in his, “just go back to bed, everyone’s heading back anyway.”

“Okay?” You repeated not questioning the man's actions and everyone watched as he walked you out, leaving them there to question his sanity.

“So that’s it! We get yelled at, we suffer, but not—“

“Well you saw how cute Y/n looked,” Peter said interrupting Cyclops from the chair in the corner causing some to jump at his sudden appearance while most just glared. “Who could be mad at that face?…so uh…goodnight.”

And off he ran. Most went off to bed while others weren’t done with the whole situation.

“Oh he is so gonna get it," said Jubilee as she noticed Scott practically grinding his teeth in anger before he plus a few others tried to run after the speedy mutant.

[onyourowndaisymae]

Yoo I have two request which I’ll send the other one separately but I am in an ANGSTY mood rn sooo yah also been binging ur headcanons and stuffs and I just love the way you write ?? It’s so entertaining lol

AnywY the actual request: can you write like a one shot or headcanons if you prefer of mc who is struggling after the belphie incident ?? Like they feel like they’ve mostly forgiven him and can act normally around him and they’re friends and take naps together but sometimes the flash back just HITS THEM and they have nightmares and panic attacks that can be so bad sometimes someone needs to get Simeon to calm them down. Maybe something of how the brothers react/treat mc and belphie? Idk I’m just thirsting for like MEGA ANGST rn bc my dad made me cry little bit lmao 😭

it comes at night

hello anon! i'm terribly sorry you're in such an angsty mood, though i thank you for all the love-- and for sending this request right as these ideas were on the front of my mind. it genuinely makes me so happy to see people enjoying my work, and it makes all the writer's block and such worth it. i cannot express enough how much i love seeing all the comments, reblogs, etc. as people engage with my work.

anyways. i'm not sure how i feel about this piece, especially with how LONG it ended up being, but maybe that's just my mushy brain talking after looking at it too long. regardless-- i hope you enjoy (well, y'know, in like a sad and angsty way).

synopsis: you thought you would be able to move on like all the others. your body was healed, your anxiety tucked neatly behind a mental wall built to keep you safe. yet something in you was stuck. you couldn't just move on. you were trapped in a battle between your friendship with belphegor and the fear gnawing at your brain as you remembered what exactly he did to you. when the dam finally breaks, your whole brain floods with terror, until you're swept away with it. nobody can save you now.

genre: angst, no happy end, just a big ol spoonful of sadness

word count: ~3.1k

content warnings: chapter 16 spoilers, graphic(?) discussions of death, depictions of panic attacks, nightmares, mc progressively getting worse from fear + lack of sleep

it's funny how time works. 

you'd been around your fair share of years. you’d grown, you’d changed, you’d spent your entire life looking toward the future you had planned. then you, a mere human, were yanked into an unfamiliar world. you spent an entire year in the devildom– a year that simultaneously dragged on and flew by– and came out the other side a new person. a single year in the devildom has changed you more than the human realm has your entire life. time was a mischievous thing, always leaving you chasing behind in a fruitless pursuit of something you’ll never quite understand.

but, she also brings blessings with her. they say that time heals all wounds. you've always agreed with that sentiment. scraped knees and adolescent broken hearts are swept away with the passing days, trailing further and further behind you until one day you forget to look back and remember them. the pain scribbled down on diary pages or cried into pillow cases no longer stings like a fresh burn. these things are nothing but scars now. time has a special way of patching you up, of rubbing your back until the tears clear up and you can finally see again. that is how it's always been. 

where is time when you need it? 

she hasn't quite abandoned you, this much is true. cuts and bruises heal over the passing days. your hair and nails still grow. your body still changes, slowly but surely, marching onwards week after week. yet your mind is trapped in stasis. you struggle to break free, but at times the rot consumes you whole, until you’re crying under the covers and begging from respite from the memories. 

on the worst nights, you find yourself in the attic again, watching the door between you and belphegor swing open. you watch yourself march towards death.

you can still feel his hands around your neck, digging his claws into your fragile human skin like you're made of sand. the scent of blood-- your own blood, on the floors, on the walls, leaking from your torso and staining your clothes a permanent maroon-- still clings to the inside of your nose. even your wildest dreams could not erase the sight of his smug grin, the way his eyes lit up looking at your battered body.

no one person should have to carry the weight of realizing they're going to die. that's what you thought about when your body hit the bottom of the stairs, when belphegor tossed you down from the attic with a harsh laugh and punted your limp body into the entrance hall. you thought about how unfair this all was. you were just trying to help. you thought you were doing the right thing.

one of the worst parts of your untimely demise was watching the others react. the voices pool together in your head, like the colors of the rainbow twisting together on the surface of an oil spill. asmo's panicked shriek blends into satan's angry shouts, desperate to understand what's going on. lucifer's yelling almost drowns out the fearful cries coming from levi, held back by a very silent beel. 

but above all of that, you remember mammon. your first man, the first demon who took a chance on the defenseless little human, rushing to your side and gathering you in his arms like you were about to break. his hand on the side of your face, the tears streaming down his face, the shaky, desperate voice assuring you that you'll be okay and begging you to hang on, okay? please don't leave me. you can't remember if he was shaking or if it was your body's last ditch effort to stay conscious-- maybe both. your trembling fingers intertwined with his. words came out of your mouth, and you're not sure what exactly you said, but he only cried harder in response. 

and then, as your eyes shut for the final time, you woke at the bottom of the attic stairs. you had cheated death. 

your price? you had to carry the memories. 

the world kept spinning. days passed in the devildom. you returned to school, kept on top of your homework, spent your days in the house of lamentation alongside the seven demon brothers. you even got to know belphegor as he navigated his return home. he quickly grew fond of you. that, in and of itself, was jarring. but you returned each and every smile with one of your own. his actions were rooted in his own grief for his sister, you knew, and for that you could not fault him. you helped him repair the severed relationships between him and his elder siblings, stitching the family back together like a prized quilt until the seams of betrayal were sufficiently hidden. 

time is a traitorous bitch. why did she choose now to leave your wounds bare and bleeding?

everyone moved on but you. everyone got to wake up in the mornings without a nagging anxiety holding them back. the others could hang out with belphegor day in and day out without a growing feeling of dread popping up when you think you're safe. 

he killed you. he was grieving. your blood drenched the entryway floors as he laughed. he has grown. you watched the light leave mammon's eyes as you slipped away. belphie has been nothing but kind to you since that day. you fucking died. 

you wish your mind could pick a side. did you forgive him, or did you resent him? was he your friend, or your killer? these answers evaded you in the dead of night as you struggled to sleep again. it was becoming more common for you to lose hours of rest to these nagging fears. who are you? are you even you anymore? did the switch in timelines scatter your atoms across countless universes, leaving the you that looks back at you in the mirror nothing more than a hollow shell? 

you thought that you could keep your mind on a tight leash, keep your cards close to your chest as you continued to live with the brothers. you were wrong.

the first meltdown came during a nap with belphie. you had grown to trust him-- you thought you trusted him-- enough to sleep around him. he'd coax you every so often into an afternoon nap. always in the light of day, always your choice. and for many afternoons, you were perfectly content with this arrangement. belphie was warm and cuddly, a perfect companion for a lazy afternoon. he had this way of making you feel safe as you slept-- the nightmares couldn't come when he was snuggled up next to you, when you were sure his actions were ones of affection and not another trick to gain your trust.

one afternoon, while the sun was beginning to set, you stirred under the warmth of the blankets. the body next to yours lingered close, steady breaths lulling you back to dreamland. you could stay like this forever, you thought.

and then you felt it. the gentle graze of a familiar cow tail against your skin.

something inside of you, a dam you didn't even know was there, snapped. a hot flash of panic rose up your throat as your whole body jerked away from the feeling. your eyes shot open and you found yourself in the last place you needed to be right now: the attic. you pulled yourself out of bed before your brain could catch up. colors flashed across your vision as a consequence. you whipped around, disoriented and upset, and spotted a sleeping belphie in the bed where you once were.

a sleeping, demon belphie.

the familiar curve of his horns made your throat spasm as you tried to breathe. the colors flashed in your vision again-- oh god, what a terrible time to be left defenseless-- as your brain tried to drag you back to that day. you could practically see his face shift from relief to malicious, insidious joy as he began to attack you.

"hehe... does it hurt? finding it hard to breathe? i'm sure it must be very unpleasant."

please. please no.

" i have to say, seeing a human face twisted in pain like this... why, it's so much fun that i can barely stand it! i... i can't contain the laughter!"

you weren't quite sure when you hit the ground, but it was loud enough to wake belphegor from his slumber. he peeled his body off the mattress, slow and dazed, as he looked for you.

"mc? what're you... what's going on?"

please don't. this can't be happening.

your lungs collapsed from the weight of your own panic. you gasped-- once, twice, as your vision went in and out. were you bleeding? your hand loosely brushed at the front of your clothes, but couldn't process whether that was blood or your vivid imagination. were you even breathing? your head felt light and heavy at the same time. the wires in your brain were all crossed, sending both resuscitation and shutdown signals to each part of your body. this feeling... this was too familiar.

were you dying?

"mc, what's going on?"

you came face to face with belphegor. your friend, your killer. the demon who had lured you up to this very attic to kill you, now gripping your shoulders as interrogated you inches from your face.

you screamed. you screamed until your brain shut off completely, leaving you in an inky pit of darkness as your consciousness slipped away.

the house was in disarray for several days. apparently, lucifer came in shortly after you passed out, mammon at his heels, to save the day. you woke up later in his bed, the room cold and empty, with a throbbing head and a tear stained pillow. you stumbled out into his office to find him at his desk, lost in some paperwork like always. the solemn look he gave you as your eyes met told you everything you needed to know.

from this day forth, your fear was now your constant companion.

nobody in the house of lamentation knew how to move forward. not you, not the brothers, not the widening gap growing between you all with each passing day spent in emotional limbo. finally, lucifer called everyone to a family meeting where, over the course of an hour or two, everyone came to an agreement to acknowledge what had happened and why, promised to be mindful of this trauma that you're carrying, and move forward like you requested.

silent days slowly but surely filled back up with laughter again. the brothers came back to your side at their own pace-- asmo first, within a matter of hours, then mammon shortly after, then the others in the following days.

belphegor was the last to come around. his silence spoke volumes about his guilt. he had no clue how to comfort you. he'd do anything to repent for his actions. yet that was the way that life worked, didn't it? some actions simply cannot be undone.

but you didn't let that stop you. despite the panic that closed your throat every time you saw him for the next month, you slowly earned his friendship again. you assured him that the attic incident was a one time thing, the remnants of a lost nightmare blending into your consciousness as you awoke.

until it wasn't a one time thing.

the nightmares crept up on you. the first one happened, of course, that same night, as you thrashed and wept into lucifer's pillows. then a week later, another. a week and a half after that, another. the frequency eventually became higher and higher, until you started planning your sleep schedule (or lack thereof) around your new insomniac tendencies. but even you couldn't manage to stay awake forever.

on a bad night, you'd wake up in tears, crying weakly to yourself as you tried to coax yourself back to bed. on worse nights, you'd shoot up out of bed, limbs tingling in fear, opting to spend the rest of the night in the common room until the others woke for the day. on the worst night, you finally broke. you shattered worse than you could have imagined.

you finally collapsed into bed, body shutting down after a three days of minimal sleep. you were starting to get shaky from the lack of rest, and your lack of appetite was upsetting the others. you crawled under the covers and let your brain slip out of your hands and off to dreamland.

what a fool you were to think you'd get by without nightmares.

visions of demonic teeth tearing at your flesh filled your head. you tried to run away, tried desperately to wake yourself up, but their claws sunk into your flesh. the pain was vivid, was real. memories of your death lived underneath your skin, ready to resurface in the dark of night when there was no escape. you fought back as best you could, kicking and screaming and trying to run, but you were no match for the supernatural strength of your demons. you eventually gave in, an act of learned helplessness, and surrendered yourself to your worst nightmares.

you woke up choking on your own tears. heaving, gasping breaths tried to save you, mixing with coughs as your body struggled to hang on. the tears finally gave way to the memories-- hot blood dripping from your torso, screaming faces begging you to stay, your head going fuzzy as your vision followed--and your screams escaped without a fight.

a mixed cacophony of voices came flooding in the room. you'd be touched by the gesture, seeking comfort in the arms of your dearest friends, if your brain hadn't reminded you that they were demons as well. nightmarish beasts with fangs and claws, predators built to rip your soft flesh from your bones and leave you to die like roadkill.

you felt a hand on your shoulder. who's was it? you could not tell. your first and only instinct was to scream for mercy, hot tears streaming down your face as mammon's hurt expression moved back out of your line of sight. your chest heaved with effort. it felt like your whole body was caving in on itself. you didn't even realize you were shaking as you curled your body into a ball. your side hit the mattress with a pathetic thud and you wept, bitter and fearful, as a panic attack kept you trapped in its grip.

you don't know how long you stayed curled up like that, wordless cries echoing from your room and into the hallway, but eventually the sound of approaching footsteps caught enough of your attention to forget the panic, even if just for a moment.

"hey, it's okay," a familiar, comforting voice approached, cutting through the fear like a moonlight on a stormy night. "mc, it's me, it's simeon. it's going to be okay."

you felt the bed shift under the weight of someone sitting down, and you blindly threw your body at the person before checking to see if it was really him. it took you a few moments to raise your head, and when you did, you saw him: simeon, your angel, blue eyes full of worry as he met your gaze.

you cried in his arms until you fell into a fitful, dreamless sleep.

the next morning was miserable, to say the least. breakfast was tense. they all watched you like a hawk, like you were a powder keg about to explode with one wrong move. you couldn't blame them. you were afraid of your own emotions, and on some level, you were afraid of them. your trauma was making you afraid of the very people you cared about the most. these brothers had welcomed you into their home, took care of you as you adjusted to life in the devildom, and yet you couldn't hold eye contact without breaking in to a cold sweat.

the only person who did not watch you was belphegor. he was nowhere to be found during breakfast, nor dinner, nor breakfast the following day. you tried to seek him out, but somehow the avatar of sloth had become a skilled sneak in his silence.

you finally caught him alone on day four of radio silence. you both had stayed home without realizing the other had also skipped school that day-- you, from the lack of sleep eating at your brain, and belphegor, with his usual routine of missing class to nap at the house of lamentation. he was curled up on the couch in the common room, basking in the warmth of the fireplace in his slumber. you decided to wait for him to wake up. you sat down on the couch opposite of the one where he rested and watched him, quietly, like he'd disappear if you dared to blink.

creepy? yes. but your brain was long ruined by sleep deprivation and gnawing anxiety to worry about such trivial things.

when he finally stirred, you gently called belphegor's name. he took a moment to finally look at the source of the voice, but when he did, his body froze as the two of you made eye contact. a few moments passed in silence. finally, he sat up and began to make a move to leave.

"wait."

he stopped, but his gaze did not meet yours. you rose from your seat and joined him on the couch. the youngest pulled his legs in, twisting his body into a defensive little ball, and countered your next sentence before you could even open your mouth.

"you shouldn't be here with me."

"i think i'm old enough to make decisions for myself."

he shifted uncomfortably in the silence. you spoke again.

"i miss you. and i'm sorry."

he scoffed to himself and stared at the fireplace. "don't know why you think you should be apologizing to me. i'm the one that's the problem."

"you're not a problem, belphie. i never meant to make you feel like one."

every hair on your body stood on end. your hands trembled against your wishes, so you sat on them to stay focused. you had to do this. you had to keep moving forward.

"i hurt you, mc. you're afraid i'm going to do it again."

you sighed-- it came out more shaky than you would have liked-- and looked down. how had it come to this? how had someone you'd grown to hold so dear become a stranger again?

"i don't want to stop being friends. i don't like when you avoid me."

"you still get nightmares, don't you?"

you pause. his icy gaze on the side of your head sent you into a cold sweat.

you smiled-- it felt more like a grimace, personally-- and prayed it didn't come across insincere. your fingers carefully intertwined with his. he met your gaze. you were thankful he couldn't see the way your chest tightened when you made eye contact. 

"i'm okay, belphie," you lied. 

this fear was going to be the death of you. 

[lestappenforever]

I find it funny how some people undermine Max and Charles’ friendship. The fact that we got to see a video of them and later photos of them playing padel that Charles himself organized is testament that they are friends. I mean if that video and the photos were not shared we would never have known that it happened, but we did.

This leads me to the essays I’ve seen around (yes, I’ve seen 3 now each with a different take) I like that we are all trying to analyze why we think the lestappen content posting by RBR (lbr SF are not even trying) but what if it’s just not that deep? Maybe they are just showing that two “rivals” as people so like to call them can have a good relationship/friendship off the track? Maybe it’s not about Charles going to RBR or RBR trying to foster a positive image for Max. Max has come to terms with the fact that not everyone likes him, he’s who he is the misunderstood-f1-bad-boy who is a generational talent. So yeah it’s not about his image either, a few fans may boo him or hate him but he’s still the third most followed f1 driver so…over 10million fans I mean that’s major for a “guy who’s not well liked” Idk I’ll go with Occam’s razor on this one. It’s just about friendship or it could be an EA promo thing. But then again why go through all that trouble just for EA when they could just drop the thing and leave it to the fans to chew on? Just food for thought inspired by the lovely essays by @tsarinasblog and @slythereen.

Anon, I absolutely love getting different takes on everything Lestappen, so thank you so much for sharing your input! ❤️

All the essays going around about have their appeal and I am honestly on board with all of them. But the one I agree with the absolute most is your take, because the idea of all of this being nothing more than Charles and Max proving that they are actually friends — that they genuinely like each other and enjoy each other's company — is the most beautiful take of it all and the mere thought of it warms my heart.

There is no way the padel date was the first ever time they hung out outside of F1, and I just think the whole recent development of their friendship is truly wonderful, regardless of what may or may not lie behind it.

[callmearcturus]

Mission Impossible: a Crazed Ramble by tentacledwizard

Re my mission impossible ask: gonna share my thoughts bc I just finished watching the series (sans 2 and 3) and boy do I have Thoughts. I think I’ll cover the ones I’m most interested in (Ghost Protocol, Rogue Nation, and Fallout) though I might ramble at u about 1 and 7 later lmao. So okay here we go

Ghost Protocol. I REALLY liked this one. This is 2nd on my ranking of MI movies.

This movie has the best team vibes. Might be my favorite iteration of The Team, even if Luther isn’t really there. I just got really emotionally attached to these guys and their interactions lmao..

I liked Brandt. Jeremy Renner didn’t have to do some heavy-duty acting for this role, and he didn’t. His role was to be small and cute and tormented, and it worked. So well that I mumbled “where is my wife” when I watched Fallout, and my brother looked at me strangely. 

Jane Carter holy moly. Dude you were NOT kidding about Jane Carter. I love her so much. I love how she’s not even slightly the love interest, how her and Ethan’s interactions have this respect and camaraderie, and even when they kiss it’s not romantic. It’s great. Loved how she got the dudely “gotta avenge my dead wife” backstory with her boyfriend getting killed, and how that propels her most ruthless actions. I guess I’m pretty much agreeing with everything you’ve said about Jane lmao. SHE’S GREAT. Also loved it when she fought Léa Seydoux, it was pretty cathartic. Let female characters be driven and reckless and (eyes Rose Lalonde pfp) yeah

Benji Dunn the man that you are. Okay I’d say that Benji is at his best in the next movie, but this is a damn good introduction. He’s newly promoted, a little bit out of his depth, and I’m a sucker for funny nerdy sidekicks okay. Gonna talk about him some more when I get to Rogue Nation probably.

Ethan Hunt has the best haircut in this film. Idk man that’s my Ethan Hunt commentary. Oh wait it was also funny when he wore the mustache

I GOT ALL FLUSTERED WHEN LÉA SEYDOUX WAS ON SCREEN. I DON'T KNOW WHY THIS IS. HOW PECULIAR

Didn’t watch 2 and 3, so the brief glimpse of Julia was very intriguing and bittersweet. Then of course in Fallout she Julias all over the place!

OKAY NOW I CAN TALK ABOUT THE BURJ KHALIFA

I’ve actually seen the Burj Khalifa irl and it is SO TALL (I know, very surprising) so I cannot wrap my head around the fact that this scene was shot on location (??) I need to look into that more.

I am a dork and I do not know much about how stunts and action scenes are calibrated, hence the sheer delight I derived from the way the camera moves in the Burj Khalifa scenes. Also my hands got really sweaty during the first half. (The “blue is glue, red is dead” part reminded me of “hasta lasagna don’t get any on ya” IDK MAN)

I spent the wall-climbing section gazing at the TV rapturously and occasionally mumbling “uh oh,” “Ethan Hunt: Human Gecko” or “the climberrrr” alternately. I literally was not hearing myself because I was watching so intently. My breath was BATED lmao.

And like I’d seen the gif sets, I knew he was gonna jump but I didn’t know when. So when Ethan does jump, it’s so sudden that you can’t help but go :O !! And it works. Anddd that’s my favorite stunt in the film (i am an easily impressed nerd with no technical knowledge but i AM dying on this hill. The Burj jump would impress ANYONE and for good reason)

I am replaying this scene in my head over and over. It’s just. It’s so good. My reaction to it reminded me of when I watched [S] Descend and it just Worked and I was amazed. To say nothing of Cascade lmao. Actually yeah this kind of is Cascade in a sense

I'm sure none of this commentary  is really original, but I really love it when Tom Cruise does a big jump heh. I am a simple man

So yeah this film is easily my 2nd favorite. It’s character-driven, there’s comedy elements, the way the team interacts and collides and argues with each other is wonderful. And I believe in Jane Carter supremacy.  

Oh yeah, Bogdan was funny too. So many good + funny moments here :D

Wait how could I forget the best character (the Russian man who has an enemies-to-friends arc with Ethan)? Love that guy.

OKAY this is too long so Im gonna separate this into 2 parts.

they sent three asks and then I responded, we're gonna use a cut here, LONG POST!!!!!

@tentacledwizard PART 2.

Rogue Nation. This one’s my favorite! I like how it begins not with Ethan but with the Team, because their interactions are good. And of course Ethan’s trying to jump on a plane. Just another Saturday.

I am not very good at talking about plot so let’s talk about Benji Dunn

ok wait first I gotta say that I like how they played with the usual IMF message. The “we ARE the syndicate” got me. Really good moment, and I bet if I rewatched it I’d catch all the little details that made me suspicious of whoever was talking. 

Anyway Benji Dunn.. the man that you are…

Like I said, Benji is at his best in this movie. There’s so many little moments that cement his greatness. He’s gaming on company time! He lies about not being Ethan’s friend on a daily basis :( also the sincere dorky smile he does on his way to the opera is so wonderful. 

I really like how sincere Benji is. He’s genuinely looking forward to the opera, and he’s eager to wear a mask someday, and he cares about Ethan so much. Yeah he’s a funny little British man but he’s also v sweet and you can see why Ethan goes crazy and kidnaps the prime minister to get him back. 

speaking of, I really think that Benji and Ethan’s relationship is… if not the core of the movie, it’s definitely a major part of that core. Does that make sense? Like, I tried to take a picture of the screen every time Ethan and Benji glanced at each other knowingly, and I ended up with a lot of pictures. Even with the 6-month separation (Ethan with a beard is something I never thought I’d see), they know each other. Ethan knows Benji wants to see the opera, and Benji will yell at Ethan when Ethan needs to be yelled at. Ethan compliments Benji’s tuxedo (as he should).

Also ffffuck whenever these guys worry about each other… like when Benji tells Ethan he’s probably going to take it too far one of these days.. Man. The scene where Ethan washes out of the giant torus with Ilsa and Benji goes to talk to him is so good.

oh and yeah Ethan did kidnap the prime minister. For benji. HE DID THAT!!!

Also the scene where Benji is forced to speak for Solomon was honestly incredible, it was like Ethan and Benji were having their own separate conversation with eye contact. When Ethan briefly put his hand on Benji’s shoulder, maybe to reassure him without having to talk, and Benji glances up at him… that’s good stuff right there. When Benji was finally able to talk it was cathartic. God I love these two

Plus the opera fight scene is so fun oh my god.

ok let’s talk about my queen Ilsa Faust

Ilsa Faust is great, and I really like how this series does female characters. Because she has her own shit going on, there’s a bit of romance between her and Ethan but they’re both agents with missions, and she’s never sexualized. I love that. Her signature move is filmed the way a male character would be filmed if he were fighting. That’s awesome.

I really loved Rebecca Ferguson’s performance here, the conflict between saving others and saving herself was neat. It’s also interesting how she has way less reservations about killing people, which plays off Ethan’s… everything. And she never makes it easy for Ethan, which I’d honestly do too if I was involved in the shit she has to deal with. 

But of course there are moments that show she does care about him (asking him to run away, the scene where she saves him in the underwater whirly spinner). The hug was pretty sweet.

Also, Ilsa is when I started really paying attention to the outfits in MI, because all of her looks were great. The yellow dress is iconic, and I REALLY liked the pleated coat she wears when talking to Solomon Lane. Plus the suit she wears in Fallout is Good.

Solomon Lane is a good villain. Jim is the MI villain I think of when I think of MI villains, but Solomon is very distinctive. I mean that voice, man. The VOICE. Lmao. He kind of reminded me of a parasitic worm made human, which is a 100% good thing.

So who has the more distinctive and weird voice? Solomon or Claire? That is the question. (I think it’s Claire tbh. Four am, four in the morning, four o clock)

So this is my favorite MI film. It’s fun, it has a good villain. We see Ethan’s personality start to shine through, too- he’s emotionally driven, as evidenced by when he fucking DOES ALL THAT TO SAVE BENJI GOD I LOVE THESE TWO. So yeah, this is the Ethan and Benji movie to me. It’s also a stellar debut for Ilsa Faust… wait what do you mean she gets fridged in the 7th movie. What do you mean

OH Jeremy Renner is still here! And more Luther! Hell yeah.

really want to rewatch this one so I can take more notes on the stunts and stuff, too

Ok time to make a part 3 because this is ridiculously long

PART 3

Fallout. Oh man. This one messed me up. 

So from the start, Fallout is a darker, queasier watch than the previous two. The more I watched, the more I realized that this movie Is Ethan Hunt’s Nightmare.

Like there’s the straightforward nightmare at the beginning, and then the film just Doesn’t Stop. It keeps messing with our minds again and again. 

This is the Ethan Hunt movie. This is our deep dive into Ethan Hunt’s mind, and at some points it kind of feels like a test of how well we know him- because he wouldn’t kill all those people, so this must be another nightmare, right? 

I am used to vivid nightmares, and this film perfectly captures the sheer horror of having one. And I was constantly doubting my own perception, bouncing between bad dream and reality along with Ethan. Man.

Like Mission Impossible has always kind of had that element, what with the masks and everything, but this film dials it up to eleven. I recognized the horror of Ethan’s situation here, and it was a feeling that stayed with me the entire time.

I mean at some points, it gets surreal. The line about Ethan literally being his own worst enemy (it’s true!), his wife showing up in little glimpses until she finally appears, Lane pinpointing Ethan’s fears, etc. When Ethan looks around at the church and says he’s terribly sorry, it’s such a small moment but it’s still kind of a gut punch. Ethan Hunt is trapped in his brain and so are we.

Even the title sequence shows everything burning around Ethan. The full theme song sounds like it’s going to end, but then it keeps going. This movie feels way more apocalyptic than any of the others.

Even Max is dead. I mean come on.

And we see how this screws up Ethan’s judgment, how his priorities are a little fucked in the grand scheme of things. He puts a few people over millions, for better or for worse.

Ethan Hunt running is an iconic part of the franchise, but what happens when all the messed-up stuff he went through catches up with him? What about the fallout?

So when the ending rolls around, it feels like Ethan is waking up, and that lends it a certain catharsis. But the uneasiness of most of the movie still stuck with me for a long time afterward.

Okay let’s talk about the new characters.

Alanna was neat, and I liked her outfits too. Though every time she flirted with Ethan, I had this vivid mental image of Ethan driving up and yelling “I fucked your mom, shit lips!” Probably something he’d say to Zola instead though.

Walker was such an asshole and that was kind of great actually. Not a single redeeming quality to be found. Have fun falling off that cliff, johnny boy.

Oh yeah and he got to say the only “fuck” in the entire series I believe. (It should have been Ethan. Well I can always hope.)

That conversation Ethan and Benji have about how Ethan won’t let anything happen to him, but then later Ethan does something that seems to put Benji in danger (making him be Solomon Lane)? Chef’s kiss. Also Benji FINALLY got to wear the mask, and he’s damn good at it.

More of Ilsa and Ethan’s relationship and man is it complicated haha. I like the scene where they’re walking through a symmetrical landscape, just paralleling each other, until finally they’re face to face. That’s good stuff right there. Also the scene where he’s in the hospital bed was sweet.

My wife [Brandt] is not here but luckily we get a lot of Luther. Luther is the constant in this series- he’s stuck with Ethan from the beginning, for better or for worse. (Better, because he’s a good character). So Luther really cares about Ethan, evidenced by his conversation with Ilsa. He probably knows Ethan better than anyone, except maybe Julia but then again she and Ethan have been apart for a while. 

Julia was great. The scenes with her and Ethan were v bittersweet. They still care about each other (just look at Ethan’s constant guilt over not protecting her), but she’s living her own life now. The conversation they had near the end was the culmination of all this, the moment we were waiting for. Plus I enjoyed her friendship with Luther, like I enjoyed Ilsa and Benji’s friendship. The scene where they’re cutting the wires/talking about Ethan was cute.

as for the stunts, hmm… I didn't really get the level of physicality I got from, say, MI1 or Ghost Protocol. Idk man maybe I’m just biased against helicopters?

ALSO I really like Face/Off and Hit Man so the John Lark thing was p cool to me. Ofc John was the asshole CIA agent though.

Anyway good movie, might take some time before I can rewatch it but it’s a masterful delve into Ethan Hunt’s mind. Not my favorite but also really really good and I wrote the most about it.

Conclusion. Wow that’s a lot of thoughts. Probably too many to put in one ask. Uh I kind of also want to talk about MI1 and Dead Reckoning as an echo of MI1 but this was a lot so idk if you’d want me to do that lmao. Anyway I have to thank you for convincing me to watch Mission Impossible all those months ago, because it is one of my obsessions now. (If you read all this I am sorry lmao, hope it wasn’t boring tho) 

And now I can finally read your Benthan fic! 8D hell yeah.

okay now it is my turn to reply

I frankly adore Brandt. I've joked to Brandt that I don't really ship Benthan, I just use it as a vehicle to write William Brandt and have him tell jokes. I adore his angry little bureaucratic ass. I am actually a fan of Renner when the material gives him actual shit he can do. Like, he was fucking WASTED in the MCU and the "Hawkeye" miniseries proves he could have been having fun this entire fucking time but they never GAVE him anything. And even if his role in MI is simple, McQuarrie is so damn good at writing characters that Brandt feels vibrant. In GP he goes from sad sweater boy to lowkey the weakest link of the team but everyone is there to help him. And in RN there's a THOUSAND lil moments I love with him. I always point to Benji's interrogation scene, there's a VERY VERY PRECISE bit of editing where Benji is going off on a tirade about how the CIA sucks, and the camera lingers on Brandt LITERALLY JUST LONG ENOUGH for Renner's mouth to make this tiny microexpression, like TWO FRAMES of Brandt indulging in admiring Benji's lie-craft.

Also the argument in the bigass car with Luther was Renner improvising according to McQ. Love it. Brandt's my angry little pencil-pushing angel. Any time he shows up in the PT AU, I'm 😍😍😍

GP lives and dies on the team dynamic tbh, which I find hilarious bc imo MI3 was pronounced dead on arrival bc the team dynamic is non-existent and like, why am I even here???? the chemistry is truly batshit.

IF YOU WOULD LIKE ALL THE TRULY MIND-BOGGLING FACTS BEHIND THE BURJ CLIMB AND HOW TERRIFYINGLY PRACTICAL IT WAS check out this post

Also Ethan's gorgeous LEAP at the end of the sequence is my second-fave Physicality Moment in that movie. The first is of course Ethan's silent vault over the railing after he leaves his prison cell. I'm a slut.

and I bet if I rewatched it I’d catch all the little details that made me suspicious of whoever was talking.

oh you want a fun one? in the record shop, there are two listening booths. ethan goes into the one on the left.

Solomon Lane is sitting in the one on the right.

re: Benji in Rogue Nation, I mean McQuarrie himself has said Simon Pegg as Benji Dunn is the beating heart and soul of the Mission franchise. so don't worry, we ALL stan.

ILSA FUCKING FAUST. /fans face. Yeah, the way MI handles women is like… I don't know how to go back to, like, James Bond films. I keep remembering Skyfall (which I remember as a good movie) and how one of the ~bond girls~ is casually executed and the whole point is how unfazed everyone is, how DISPOSABLE she is, how James Bond as a franchise wants backpats for pointing out "man it sure sucks how disposable women are in these spy flicks huh"

smash cut to Ghost Protocol, Rogue Nation, Fallout, and ESPECIALLY Dead Reckoning.

I keep saying this but MI manages to pull off the Metal Gear thing in that the Male Gaze of the camera is thoroughly bisexual. Long before we see Ilsa's amazing leg shot at the opera, we get a long lingering shot of Ethan's tiddies, and the way he's held captive is very female-coded, the position, the way he tries to wile his way out of it, the barefoot thing, all of it. There's such intense intentionality with how MI frames bodies.

Hell, I've been flicking between MI and the X-Men AU movies and comparing Ilsa to Mystique is super interesting because both of them fight with their legs-first. But the choreography of Mystique always has this "heh heh heh naked legg" feeling, while with Ilsa, her fighting style is so consistent, it feels like a natural result of her build and how she utilizes momentum. I remember there's a fast moment in Fallout where she very casually assists Ethan by taking out a guard as he extracts Alanna, and she does her leg flip thing. It feels Correct for her, rather than the MCU "make sure you fight pretty" bullshit.

Anyway I love Ilsa but Benji is actually the Love Interest in RN and we all know it.

"wait what do you mean she gets fridged in the 7th movie" SHE DOES NOT GET FRIDGED i am gonna die on this fucking hill, that Ilsa's death was good and actually meant something

Anyway I cosign all your thoughts on Fallout. I think it's the best movie and frankly I think it's a cinematic masterpiece. The claustrophobia of it, the nightmare of being Ethan Hunt, the repeated use of dreamlike imagery to convey that we're falling further into that nightmare with him, AND THE ENDING. I find the ending so bittersweet because yes, Ethan and the team pull it off, they push at the edges of possibility and reason until the universe yields and gives them the win

but then Julia says "I know you'll always be there" and its like watching a door slam in Ethan's face. He's always going to be in this dream/nightmare, a world that exists one layer removed from reality, and he can't get out. It's amazing. I want to kiss McQ on the mouth.

That Ilsa-Ethan scene was not in the original script and TC suggested it day-of and they just did it and its one of the most beautiful shots of the movie, with the green trees melding with the slight green tones of Ilsa's outfit and with Ethan's eyes. The fact they have an entire conversation between Ethan and Ilsa's eyebrows. I love them.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Would you do a pic based on the song “Do you wanna be friends?” By Leanne Firestone as a Ken x reader? Like I feel like this song really could work for them. Like kens super all like “Oh stereotypical Barbie is so amazing” and reader just is like “oh. Okay yeahb I’ll support you” and just follows the song. Idk lol

Ough the unrequited love goes hard here </3

.........

"So...I take it that it didn't go the way you hoped?"

"Sadly..it didn't." Putting on his best smile, Ken sighed quietly as you both sat on the beach together. "I forgot it was girls' night and...she didn't want me there. Period."

You blinked. "She seriously said that to you?"

"Yeah."

"And..it didn't hurt?"

"I mean..she wasn't wrong. She could never be wrong. It's not my place to intrude on her night and I need to respect that. I'm just happy I got to dance with her and...almost kiss her after the party." His attempts to sound upbeat were forced, although he didn't want to concern you too much. "Simply being in her presence is enough for me. She's just so...amazing and beautiful and so smart. I'm glad we're boyfriend and girlfriend."

'It doesn't sound like she thinks the same...' Is what you wanted to say to him, but you decided to keep that to yourself. Instead, your shoulders remained slumped as he continued rambling about how "awesome" Stereotypical Barbie was.

It was nothing new to you.

You and him have been good friends for a while, although roughly 90% of your chats consisted of him gushing over Barbie nonstop; the remaining 10% were either him complaining about Tourist Ken or rambling about Beach-related stuff.

Obviously, you didn't mind talking to him and wouldn't dare shut him down. You actually enjoyed every moment you spent together, even if he can be a bit dumb and showy at times.

You just wish he didn't bring up Barbie's name in every single conversation...considering that she barely mentions his name whenever you talked to her.

It was unconventional at best for a Barbie to not be interested in her Ken, but that's just the way she is and he doesn't see anything wrong with that.

He wasn't getting the hint.

When you found Ken sitting alone on the beach tonight--in the spot where you'd normally practice you guitar skills--he looked awfully dejected and lonely. You immediately knew he tried shooting his shot with her after the huge blowout party with planned choreography and a bespoke song..

And ultimately missed by a mile.

"You know what she said to me earlier after that Beach accident, [y/n]?"

"What did she say?"

"She said I was "very brave"." Stars were practically shimmering in his blue eyes, his grin growing wider. "She thought I was brave! Isn't that awesome??"

"Yeah, it sure is." Nodding in agreement, you turned your gaze up to the brightly-lit moon in the sky. "You're a lot of things, Ken. Brave, funny, cool...she should seriously cherish those and not just shut you out because of "Girl's Night". I don't think that's fair to you at all."

The words came out faster than you could think, and your body tensed up as you watched his expression falter.

Maybe you've said too much.

"I..um-"

"Wow, that's...nice to hear, [y/n]. Thank you." He put a hand to his chest, looking at you with a gentler smile. "You're a great friend, you know that?"

"...right, we're great friends." You reluctantly agreed, forcing you own smile for his sake. "Do you mind if I play some guitar? This is my usual spot but-"

"Ohh, I forgot you had that...thing." Then he pointed to your acoustic instrument. "If you want me to leave I can-"

"No, no, you can stay! I'd hate to see you roaming Barbieland all night by yourself."

"Nah, I'm not really "roaming" aimlessly." He brushed off your worries, smoothing his hair out as though it was tousled by nonexistent wind. "I just sorta...wander around till I find a cozy spot. Sometimes I get lucky, but other times I imagine myself in her dreamhouse. I bet next time she'll let me stay over. Who knows? Maybe one day we can call it Barbie and Ken's Dreamhouse. Haha..wouldn't that be awesome, huh?"

At the end of his rambling, he had that same lovestruck appearance on his face as he rested his jaw on his fist, gazing at you.

That's the kind of look you wish he'd give you instead.

"Yeah, that would be cool." Once more, you agreed, before taking your guitar out of its case and placing it across your lap. "Well..I'm just gonna start practicing."

"Right. Thanks for listening, [y/n]. I'm just gonna sleep over here and dream of our future." He stood up and walked about ten steps towards a baby blue towel somebody left behind in the sand, laying down and curling up. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Ken. Sleep well."

Despite how uncomfortable he seemed, he had no problems dozing off as you heard light snores mere seconds after he closed his eyes. You saw a content smile gracing his lips and gazed at him for some time.

He never looked more peaceful.

"This one's for you.." You whispered softly, fingers gliding across the guitar strings as you began playing a song you've recently memorized.

Then you began singing ever-so quietly, closing your eyes and feeling the music flow through you.

""Do you wanna be friends?" I mean I wanna be more. But if "friends" is how I get to have you...then..sure. I'll be quiet in my pining. I won't tell you about the pain. I'll be silent in the night when I know that you're asleep..but I wanna ask you if you're awake.."

You weren't sure where you've heard this song before. It just popped into your mind one day and resonated with you so deeply, filling your plastic heart with a foreign feeling.

That being...the feeling of longingness. Pining.

Love.

It reminded you of Ken, and where your relationship with him currently stood...and possibly will remain for as long as you both lived.

You knew that he'd always choose Barbie over you at the end of the day, even though you've seen her reject him time and time again. He still kept chasing after her no matter what, always hoping she'll one day say "yes" to him staying over at her dreamhouse instead of shooing him away.

Eventually, he'd have to wake up and realize the truth.

Maybe then he'll finally see that you were the only one who ever gave him the time of day. The only one who truly cared about where he slept, if he was okay, etc.

The only one who truly loved him.

Perhaps in another life, it can be [Y/n] and Ken.

But for now, you just continued playing the guitar at him, even though he was off in dreamland, blissfully unaware that you were speaking to him through this song you were singing.

If only he knew your genuine feelings for him; although that may never happen since he's always calling you his "friend".

And if that's what he wanted out of this relationship, then...you'll have to settle for that. For his sake.

You'd hate to lose him.

"So we'll be friends, and I'll be okay. The world won't end if you don't love me, even if it feels that way..."

[yourlocalshrimp318]

Yea so my mother agreed to watch good omens with me. And if we watch a show or movie together, we like to comment on what we see, sometimes what we say is funny. And I thought „why not share it with tumblr?“

First of all: the German dub of good omens is surprisingly good. It’s our first language, and she’s got problems with understanding English, so we gotta watch it on German. Of course it’s a little bit strange and you need to get used to it , but good.

After the first scenes in Eden, when the intro started she instantly stated that it’s very obvious that it’s a British production. Monty Pythons are similar. I think it is a compliment, though I am not sure if it.

She asked me when the two demon guys appeared what on earth the thing on the head of these demons are. I couldn’t remember it. During the first episode she frequently asked me about the third child, where the hell is it? I sadly told her, I didn’t know, but I will find out and tell her.

After the first episode, I asked her if she was okay with continuing watching good omens, and she said: „I just really want to know what happened to the third child.“ well, I’ve got bad news.

We continued to watch the second episode.

After War received her sword, my mother said that for her age of approximately 6000 years, she looks surprisingly young. „I wonder how she does that.“ she said. I do not know, mother, it is probably her supernatural being.

When Agnes Nutter first appeared, we laughed at the weird way of speaking. We liked it though.

We continued, met Anathema and Newt, but no comment was left there. Except when Newt was incompetent of using a computer.

When Crowley and Aziraphale entered the ex-order of satanic nuns, she was very happy, when the paintball guns became machine guns. Of course murder isn’t right, but it happened to be a detail she liked.

My mother made a VERY concerned face, when the Thems started the British inquisition (why then? Idk)

She really liked Aziraphales cup. I hope we get one now. I’ll let you people know.

So, this were the first two episodes. I had fun. I am also concerned and a little frightened that I will make my mother a part of the ineffable fandom. She seems happy. We have a new show to binge watch, she likes that a lot. Also she didn’t question Crowleys weird walking and the ‚friendship‘ they have. She’s cool.

I apologise for typos, grammar mistakes and other stuff, I do not speak English as a first language.

Sleep well, folks :D