#idk it makes a great gift
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Absolutely smitten... A redraw of some fanart I did a long while back before I got into Clip Studio. ...happy (belated) bday to my awesome fren @mothiepixie who has been a inspiration teehee.
Was gonna add some easter eggs, but may do sketches instead cause I'm tired after this one, whew...
Motti belongs to Mothiepixie Lex belongs to me.
#my art#caycantdraw#motti mothiepixie#motti belongs to mothie#lex belongs to me#lexverse#lex fanart#siren!lex#sirenau!lex#mermay art#cause why not#two beautiful sirens/mermaids#one of my favorite colorful pieces so far#so beautiful ough#mothie is cool as fuck#bff#the sea version of an echo flower is sea's echo.instead.#idk it makes a great gift
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What if Lucanis offering "does he like coffee or knives" to Emmrich (re: Strife) was kind of a throw away suggestion? What if it was Lucanis' was of trying to say: "Emmrich why the fuck are you asking me for romantic advice? That's an Illario thing."
#lucanis dellmorte#lucanisposting#the hilarious part is Lucanis is GREAT at giving gifts to people he knows#so normally#he would be a great person to ask#because he will always have pragmatic/functional gift advice#what's also funny is that if Emmrich approached him about a platonic gift#lucanis would probably be really interested in helping him find something#but the romantic aspect makes him panic#he's like idk idk don't ask me-#oh rook thank god you got here
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I feel that during the first coffee date walk through the market, rye has a fraction of a millisecond's kneejerk trauma freakout of '...wait. wait. am I really catching feelings for a rich boy again. with how that went down last time. am I truly that stupid' (once derogatorily referred to quite openly at a party as 'young master anaxas' pet mortalitasi' to which the young master anaxas only grinned and shrugged and STILL you don't break up with his smug controlling ass for good for six more months because you have a desperate bottomless yearning pit where your self respect should go, twice shy lol). and then he actually looks at lucanis standing next to him getting harding spearmint to help with bad dreams and generally being so quietly thoughtful and sweet through the prosaic yet necessary medium of grocery shopping it makes me feel a little unwell to truly contemplate. and rye is like '*the softest fondest eyes anyone has ever turned on anything* ...you know what. I suspect we don't have to worry about that repeating, I think we're probably safe. I am comfortable being this level of stupid. (slowly dawning marital intent even at this stage)'.
(part of the reason rye buys NONE of illario's bullshit at all right from the beginning is that he's basically vaccinated against this exact type of dude after that relationship lol. charming suave guy who in the beginning pays you a lot of lavish attention and takes pains to make you feel special every time you're in a room with him -- but shallowly and mostly, it slowly dawns on you, when there's something he wants from you (and he's often doing it at the expense of someone else, raising you up to put someone else down and you won't believe this... it can turn into a seesaw at a whim. yay). and beneath that there's just a seething pit of resentment and inferiority complexes and bitterness left to fester until he can make it everyone else's problem and that IS going to start to bubble up between the cracks with you too if you stick around for long enough. no thank you been there done that wasted my youth and potential on it and all I got was this lousy shiny set of new emotional intimacy issues haunting me for life! trust me illario I HAVE, as it were, chosen the wrong dellamorte before, which is exactly how I know I didn't this time. go get him lucanis I've got your coffee
hilarious mental image: rye and illario sitting quietly together while everyone else is busy milling about during a cursed dellamorte family dinner (the vibes are so bad. you know the vibes are bad. sitting as still as you can and hoping for calm skies is your best bet without lucanis or teia favourite child privileges to work with) and rye out of the blue gazing thoughtfully into nothing over the edge of his glass with half-lidded eyes to go 'you know. you remind me a lot of my ex. not in a good way' and illario with absolutely no shame and hilariously also something that's the closest he ever gets to real sympathy going 'yeah, I get that a lot'. best talk those two ever had, unironically. their bond leveled up to its final form that day. *soulsborne boss defeated text* MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING REACHED)
#idly trying to decide what nevarran great house rye's shitheel early twenties boyfriend was part of#(possibly as one of the piddliest side branches of that house too b/c between that and the youngest son thing..... bad news)#there would be something especially delicious about him being a van markham of course. adds some Layers#to the baron van markham situation. but maybe that's TOO neat. nobles can just suck as a Class (as they do). I must Contemplate#I do really love the idea I'm going with here that it could be the youngest son of the duke of cumberland (so an anaxas)#(perhaps grandchild? slightly unclear how the numbers work out there we have too little information to go on I think)#who made so much trouble back home in cumberland they basically sent him off to the capital to raise hell over there lol#the classic 'god idk send him off to an aunt and she'll either straighten him out or they'll kill each other#either way he won't be my problem for the duration' move. oh the tribulations of an afterthought of a son no one really needed#(funny headcanon to make that the pentaghasts can't come up with a solid direct heir to king marcus to save his at least#seven-fold resurrected ass. while the duke of cumberland has heirs. maker help him but does he have heirs the house is full of them#where are they all coming from. his wife staring directly into the camera like she's on the office)#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#Lucanis Dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#illario dellamorte#doing coffee with the crows after the city choice adds quite a bit here lol. among other things it opens the distinct possiblity#that rook has overheard lucanis talk about wyverns in banter and the dagger is a more purposefully chosen thing#much like lucanis' cake choice is dependent on rook's beverage preferences later on. their freaks match#gifts to give your special person to tell them you've done deep research on them but like not in a stalker way#this post went off to places I hadn't expected. but love the rye and illario stuff that turned up here lmao like yeah that feels about righ
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this might be nuts but I think my sister & I might try to do a trip abroad with the baby next fall
#I took on a couple extra last minute students#and suddenly I have enough money to like. maybe plan a fun trip#here is my secret dream: instead of giving lots of Christmas gifts#i kind of want to have a tradition of giving a small gift or two#but then having our big joint gift be a trip#which we would ideally take in the spring/summer#and as he gets older we can read books and watch movies about the place we’re going#and then when he’s a bit older he can help plan the trip#like help pick out where we stay and what activities we do#anyway#in college and grad school I got to travel internationally almost every year#even though I was making almost no money#but then I stopped for a long time (pandemic + after)#and I just sort of forgot that like#nobody gives you permission to travel#you just have to choose to prioritize it and save for it and plan it yourself#so idk 🤷♀️#I also think that like#it could be a nightmare traveling with a small child! but also alternately#it could be a great way to get him used to it early#and also my favorite activities while traveling are always just like#wandering around a new place#and spending time getting to know it#rather than racing from place to place#so that seems like a type of travel that could be possible with a kid#and anyway idk! like any high difficulty parenting challenge#i bet even just attempting it will feel pretty great#even if things don’t go to plan#anyway we are currently considering 3 options: Netherlands or Slovenia or Nice
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My mum was gifted a small glass of honey that neither of us likes but dont want to throw away
Does anyone have a recipe for something that uses a bunch of honey but it doesnt give much taste to the endproduct?
(The glass is 125g but the recipe doesnt have to use up the whole thing in one go ofc)
#mine#honey#recipe recommendation#idk who to gift it to and i dont want it to go to waste :(#maybe i could try to make some cookies or smth with spices to hide the honey taste? idk man im not a great Baker tbh
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It's my birthday month! I will be the big ol' age of 37 on the 28th!
Some friends showed interest in getting me presets for the occasion, so I made a Throne wishlist (bc I am an adult there are a few adult things on there - like 4), there's also a Ko-Fi and PayPal if you can't decide on anything 🤭
#personal#birthday post#throne was fun and it's def a big list but idk why it makes me feel weird to share it lmao#physical gifts would be nice and lovely but as an unemployed disabled person money would be great too
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what's the word for a best friend but like the kind that drains all your energy if you have to interact with them
#just got off the phone w my bsf of 5+ years and its like#you get me like no one else but idek who u are anymore and this relationship doesnt really serve me anymore#but thats not a reason to throw out 5+ years of just getting each other and that special connection we have#idk#phone call totally drained me and now im laying here upset like she said smth to me otp to hurt my feelings#she said smth to me the other day that triggered my ed#she thinks shes the only one with issues like im glad you can joke about your eating disorder but like bear in mind that i ALSO have one!#which you know about because it was something we bonded over when we met#and you dont know how my eating disorder is going because you dont listen when i talk. so i have stopped talking.#but it isnt going great! and when you brag about how skinny you are because of this or that#and complain about how you genuinely hate people who “lack the self control to be anorexic”#that harms me mentally#and you dont care because you arent joking#i recently got my christmas gift from her#which took a while to get me because she ordered it on christmas eve. and then kept forgetting to give it to me once it arrived#but she literally used the gift that she bought me and told me when she gave it to me like huh !!!#and i wasnt even upset about this when she told me because if she had asked i would have let her#but i told my mom and sister and they were soooo mad. and then i was like wait maybe thats weird#like i can understand that what she did was socially unacceptable but i didnt mind because it was her yk like thats my bsf. but now im upse#AND THE OTHER DAY i told her i dont read much fanfiction and she was like#well thats because you arent autistic so u dont know what its-#-like to be consumed by an interest/hyperfixation and have to consume every form of media associated with it#like YES I DO !!! all of my friends autistic or not think im autistic except for her#its this weird dynamic in her head where im the token neurotypical to her token autistic like idk if she just likes being the only autistic#but i feel like im so clearly autistic because idk how to mask. not that im trying to make this a “whos more autistic” contest but like#i think she likes being the manic pixie autistic chick and its so weird but im not diagnosed so im not gonna go to bat on that one w her#whenever i tell my roommate about things my bsf does my roommate is always like “im scared of her” or “real friends dont act like that”#and its always a reality check because i dont think twice when she treats me like that#but the people in my life are starting to hate her lowkey....#my mom was deadass like wow i dont think shes a good friend
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I got an email from my grandpa today and all the draft responses I’ve been working on in my head sound like an 18th century letter that’s going to have to travel for months to reach him.
pandemic year 5 really has me feeling like me and a very small handful of people I know are living on an entirely different plane of existence than everyone else
#like I haven’t seen him in over a year. I’ve seen him 3 times since 2020#so I guess on the isolation and slow communication front it’s pretty similar#he used my chosen name. I haven’t changed my email yet but he used my chosen name#I don’t even care at this point if he never gets my pronouns right#I thought I’d never be able to tell him. I didn’t want to find out his politics were more important#he’s quiet and kind and he gives people expensive gifts any time he can afford it but he constantly forgets people’s allergies#so he might get you something you can’t have but whoever you pass it along to will love it#he cries at weddings and during church services and sometimes random holidays#he passes out in his rocking chair at every family function#he’s the unofficial photographer of every gathering ever since my great grandfather stopped being able to walk as much as the job requires#and he voted for trump in 2016 and has afaik an active nra membership#he once complimented my outfit by telling me he’d call me a stud if I was a guy#which like. ok. I have some notes#but uh. thanks?#idk I’m just. it sucks being so far away from everyone and everything because the rest of the world is ignoring an ongoing pandemic#I’m missing so much of my life and others lives and even parts of my own transition#I can make steps to reach out but it only goes so far if poeple#are unwilling to mask or vaccinate or even just ask what needs to happen to make it safe#so I don’t. idk. kill my partner#or become even more disabled than I currently am#my family’s been making steps and they’re taking me seriously but it’s all so slow and I’m still sore from bracing for rejection#I’ve been bracing for rejection for so so long it’s terrifying to reach out. about anything#this is not condusive to a healthy relationship lol#not sure what to do other than bonk myself on the head and say ‘get better’ tho#*bonk* ‘try again’#one step at a time ig#ahshitherewegoagain.jpg#.txt
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Applied for a job and applying to community college. It feels weird. It feels like I'm 18 again, even though I'm turning 23 in less than a week. It feels promising though
#so when i was 18 i was supposed to go to college!#i was. i was accepted and everything. i had plans#i was going to go for sign language interpreting. i had hella scholarships#and then. they went bankrupt. spring break before i was supposed to attend#it was unfortunate. i didnt have time to try to attend another college. and asl interpreting isnt a common course#so i moved out of my parents house a few weeks after graduation and just started working#it was great. until i moved to philadelphia#where i lost all of my money and tanked my credit score by being poor#so now im back with my parents#what a horrible cyclical turn of events#and for the longest time ive been trying to get out again. move out. get back to work#i have a job now but it barely pays uh. anything#and i was fighting so hard to escape that i didnt stop to think that i dont have the means to and i would just end up not great again#so i decided to apply for a front desk and marketing position at the same place my older sibling works#an art center. a place that i really fucking love tbh#and a nearby community college has free college for people that were essential workers during the pandemic#i think i would have to live in this state for a year tho so maybe not college right now#but maybe someday. if i get this marketing/front desk position then im sure ill stick around for a bit#idk im having weird conflicting feelings about trying to put down roots here#but i cant leave anytime soon. thats kind of hitting me#i dont have money. or a good credit score. i will not be accepted to an apartment#and even if i am i will not be able to pay rent#so i might as well get a job i like. not just a placeholder#see about going to college. especially if its free#and instead of like. waiting for my life to start. maybe do something with it while i have it#if that makes sense#suicide tw ahead-#i didnt think i was going to make it past age 18. and now im nearly 23#so im living every day with no plans#every day is a lovely little gift that i never expected to have so now its a task to try and figure out what to do with it
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oogh. birthday in 4 days............
#idk why im so excited abt this birthday in particular#its not like its a milestone number or anything. its 27#maybe i just like that im getting older lol. idk what it is really#anyway a commission would make a great bday gift <3 LMAOO
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you guys im so fucking excited I could cry... i gotta call a bunch of ppl idek who to call next
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Meow !
#Hey future me ! This is queued on December 21st !! Im a day late lol#DID YOU GET THE ESSAY DONE IS IT OKAY ARE YOU PROUD OF IT. MY GOD ITS KILLING ME#ive got like four paragraphs but I csnt for the LIFE of me figure out how to end it#How was christmas !!!!!! I assume good unless someone. like. died#What was ur secret santa gift? I dont remember what I asked for as the prompt lol#im rlly happy rn bcs a lot of ppl are putting nice comments on my art ^.^#What are you drawing rn? Im making the no6 secret samta piece of them all in a diner#Also. How is ur spanish grade. my god.#idk if they wouldve let you know yet but if they did- did you get into the college? hope so !!!!!!!#I havent been feeling great. Moms been on my ass about my spanish grade#but James is here rn which is rlly nice !!!#oh !! I mentioned the hiragana I knew last report. You should know them all rn yeah? I know up to the y line#so 38 without the tantan or maru#mmm. dont have much else to say#hope ur doing well !!! stay safe ^.^#weather report
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So, after watching the anime and reading the manga after seeing the live action I have a few issues with how they did the Arlong Park section (though it's still a super good adaptation overall). Some of them are bigger then others so I'll start with the smallest addition that bugged me even the first time I watched--Nami's chain.
First of all it just doesn't make sense, especially since they changed it so it was Nami who approached him on making maps and getting money for her village. Why would he chain her in a room to do the thing she already promised him to do? Also if he's afraid of her running away, why does he ever let her leave to steal money to buy the village at all?
It doesn't even make sense in manga cannon where he made her make maps for him, because she genuinely has no where to go and Arlong knows that. Arlong is no genius, but I think him using a chain on Nami makes him look stupid. The village people have already kicked her out, and in the LA even her sister hates her. Arlong knows she cares about the village because she's willing to risk her life to get the money to buy it from him. She can't run away because she knows he'll kill the villages in retribution, while she can't even really go home because everyone hates her for 'joining' his crew.
She essentially only has Arlong as a life line no matter how awful he is. He doesn't need to put a chain on her to keep her there because she needs him, both because she needs to buy back the village to save everyone, but also because when she returns to the Island Arlong Park is the only place she can go (especially in the LA where her sister hates her and wouldn't let her sleep in their old house).
The second reason it bothers me is because I can almost guarantee it was added because they worried the audience wouldn't understand just how bad Arlong was to her without him being more physically abusive. That or think the audience would criticize Nami for not leaving as a child. Plus it adds more angst to Nami's character--that was most likely why they changed it to her sister hating her as well.
The thing is I really don't think it was needed. Arlong was bad enough to Nami as it is. She was under constant psychological abuse due to Arlong holding the lives of the villagers over her head. Every injury she got because she was stealing money is his fault. Later during the Fishman Island Arc she has a flashback of the crew not feeding her. We have Arlong shoving her face into her desk because she purposely (or maybe accidentally) misdrew a map. He only started to treat her better as she grew up, but even then it was always clear he saw her as lesser and enjoyed mentally torturing her when he was given the opportunity.
Nami didn't need to be chained for her pain to be 'bad' enough. Her life was already terrible. She was already a victim of abuse, both physical and mental. The chain adds nothing and doesn't make sense in either the LA or the Manga's story.
Third, it does leave a sort of bad taste in my mouth that given the fish-men were coded more as black in the LA, that they had essentially a black coded character (played by a black actor) chaining up a white girl. It feels even worse when they added Arlong constantly talking about fish-men slavery--making it clear from the get go that's why he hates humans. That entire thing is it's own can of worms, but at least to me it does come across as kind of off-putting. When it adds nothing, and easily didn't have to be included it just makes it feel worse.
#one piece#Arlong#op Arlong#Nami#op Nami#live action one piece#idk i think i just don't like how often writers add in physical abuse to add more angst for the character#because they don't think the audience will take the abuse seriously otherwise#even when it doesn't make sense#like in HP it never made sense to me just how physically bad the Durslesy's treated Harry#cuz one of their few character traits was that they wanted to look better then their neighbors and were huge snoops#like realistically these people would be parading Harry around as their charity case and 'aren't we so great that we took this poor boy'#that doesn't mean they wouldn't be abusive#they wouldn't get him gifts unless it was to look good and I'm sure they would let Dudly bully him#and they certainly wouldn't love him--it'd only be an act out in public#but i just don't think JKR thought that would be bad enough#or that her kid readers would understand why Harry wouldn't be happy with them#and they really only get worse in later books with putting bars on his window--like how is that gon'na make them look good to the neighbors#and not get them the gossip around town?#the chain is also stupid because why would Arlong not trust a 10 year-old with zero skills to come back#but be fine with Nami coming and going once she's older and more capable of making it on her own?#and way more likely to become embittered to the villagers who hate her and leave them to Arlong's fury while she gets free#like honestly in the LA Arlong's lucky Nami's a really good person because those people were all awful to her#and given all the shit she had to go through it's shocking that she didn't just say 'fuck you guys I'm out!'#like in the manga it makes sense cuz her sister still loves her and they're still close#so in the very least she's got some support#Also like just lock the door#if she can pick a door lock she can pick a chain lock
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Ray's After Ending is so funny because for a good chunk of it, most of the RFA members are knocked out by V's sleeping gas (Saeran is immune, Saeyoung isn't present bc he was kidnapped by his agency under his father's orders and MC wakes up in like an hour) but the game has a call feature where you can call the characters and it would be a waste if you couldn't use it bc the characters were unavailable so instead they have other people pick up the call (Jumin's driver picks up Jumin's phone, Jumin's father picks up Zen's phone, Yoosung's friends and mom pick up Yoosung's phone and Jaehee's coworkers pick up Jaehee's phone) and we do get to learn about the characters from outsider's point of view but it's so funny to me that these people are visiting their loved ones and suddenly the phone rings and they decide to just. answer it. and start talking to this stranger they've never met
#prince's talk tag#maybe its not actually weird people just pick up their loved one's phone call for them but i personally wouldn't#i cant stop thinking about how its Jumin's father that uses Zen's phone like Chief Han what were you doing in Zen's room??#i know they needed to assign somw character to Zen and he's not on speaking terms with his family#but I would of thought Chief Han would go to Jumin and the driver could go to Zen#does this mean something? am i thinking too hard about this?#also rip yoosung his friends and mom lowkey kinda dragging him in their call with you#and with the friends since one of them is a girl one of the options is like 'A girl?!?! are you dating??' and shes like 'no lolol'#'he's nice but i dont see him like that'#the main thing that made me make this post was thinking about Yoosung's mom saying how Jumin calls her sometimes and sends her holiday gift#like!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! idk man that just plays on a loop in my head#i know thats like a very professional thing to do. Jumin was raised to please people in a business capacity#and the he cares about the RFA so yea it makes sense. im sure he has gifts sent out to companies his works with#and I'm sure if the other members had a good relationship with their parents hed do the same with them#but in the RFA Yoosung and I guess V are the only ones with parents they talk to#idk if he sends a gift to V's father tho bc we never talk to him#but man. while i know hed do it with the other members if he could just the fact he does it with Yoosung is sweet#and it makes the part in Seven's route where he calls Yoosung's mom about her son's dilemma make sense to me bc they do talk once in a whil#so its not too out of the blue when he does it i guess#but man can we talk about how awesome Jaehee is? bc her coworker that picks up her phone spends every call gushing about her#like we knew she's great at her job but man hearing her coworker talk about her fills me with such love and admiration#and she's apparently really loved by the other assistants too like they all gush about her#jaehee is the best character in the game im not joking around#they wanna get close to her but bc she's their boss it's hard T_T#and the one that picks up the phone wishes Jaehee knows she was the one that stood with her overnight when she wakes#Yuni (the assistant you're talking to) says she would of quit the job had it not been for her#LIKE!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAA!!!!#it was a nice way to use the call feature during the first two days of the characters not being awake to answer#and even though this is supposed to be the last thing you play before completing the whole game#you still learn something new about the characters you've known since day 1
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tbh i feel a lot more loved when someone tells me they love me directly through their words and by giving me their undivided attention rather than anything else
my ex gave me a lot of handmade gifts, and i did like them, but id rather that we had just spent more time together instead of apart while he made stuff to give me later
like hello? wouldnt you rather use that time to actually be with me instead? yk, with the person you claimed to love?
#im an extremely jealous person and i get jealous of anything and anyone that gets between my time between me and my partner#yes even if it is for something thats meant for me#i dont truly want gifts i want spoken words of love and attention#like i appreciate the amount of time and great detail in the things he made for me#but i would have preferred us to just actually do things together instead#yk like couples do?#ugh idk... does that make me selfish?#that i only want to be loved in the ways i like the most?#...well since i feel the need to ask... probably...#sickness.php#ex.exe#noa.txt
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY @jann-the-bean!!!!!
you know i had to draw this lil precious baby again because my GOSH-!!! too adorable<333 (i believe she is capable of murder with how full of rage she is tho- gremlin behavior<;3333)
there's only so many ways i can say how much i adore your art and writings before i become a broken record because SERIOUSLY!!!! you are my biggest inspiration when it comes to writing and i swear if i hear you saying ANYTHING otherwise i'm breaking into your house no matter how far away you are cause i'm not tolerating such lies!!!! you are an AMAZING bean and i would hug you to death if i could >:'Dc <333
mocha belongs to jann
mobster au is both by @help-im-a-gay-fish and jann
#art#my art#gift#mobster au#mocha#mob!mocha#human!mocha#because seriously how can a human be so HUGGABLE#i wanna be her friend but she would be too cool for that</3#hhh xD okay okay but seriously if i catch you having a bad day- on your BDAY of all days!!- me and your brain's gonna have some problems-#my vocabulary is poor man idk how to tell you you're like. the most fantastic kind and supportive talented writer AND artist ever#without repeating myself!! you've heard all of these before but they're still TRUE!!! you're just!!! so COOL!!!#still remember the days before my blog and if i could describe what it felt like to be followed back by you it would be. insane#IT WAS CRAZY i was literally shaking!!! you absolute MASTERPIECE maker like name me ONE fic you made that you don't like-#and i'll cite all the things that make it a literal banger like don't try me!!!! i WILL bury you with love you menace to society!!!#i have so many fond memories of your past writings tho i think i'm just gonna re-read them once i finish my studying :')#just came back from school and i rushed to my computer to post this hhh >:'D please don't forget how much you mean to all of us!!!#amazing. you are AWESOME AND GREAT like always!!!!#happy bday mÖther- queen of angst and sweet precious boys >:'Dc <3333
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