#idk im so tired. gn

[insomniiuh]

humanoid noodle

eeby, gn.

[ddeongies]

just wrote a ton of notes for a twitch streamers ryeji au instead of sleeping

[sanjisboyfie]

ONE THING ABOUT ME is that i'll slip in anyyyy masculine vocab wording in my lil headcanons and oneshots to literally scare fem alligned readers. IM SORRY but how many times ive had to just stare at my screen when a SECRET ATTACK OF "baby girl/princess/queen/mama/ma/other fem alligned terms" in a gn-reader is used. like....

and w a lot of my shorter stuff the only pronoun used is rlly "you" so they may b unaware its for a male reader. but then BOOM "pretty/handsome boy/prince/baby boy/my boy/etc" WILL BE MY SURPISE ATTACK . REVERSE UNO BASICALLY .

[gizmo-best-robot]

(I FORGOT TO exiST AAAAAAAAAAAA)

@griffinftw I forgot to post this omg BUT NOW IT'S HERE AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

[gunksh1t]

So this is how it felt to finally be useful. It ached all over, it just got worse and worse but you were grateful, you were happy. You...you wanted this. Your God said you did. He was never wrong. Your blood drummed loudly yet his words were loud and clear as he smiled that same loyal, loving smile which you happily returned. Until his fist met your nose with that same and familiar crack

“What was that doll?”

you silently shook under his gaze, the pouring blood pooling into your waiting palms, droplets squeezing between your fingers. The pitter patter the only sound along with his pants. You had the honour of having him waste his energy on you since you couldn’t do anything correctly. That’s right. You were just his doll, God’s plaything, Your God’s punching bag. Of course you didn’t deserve to express anything, not even how thankful you are that God was fixing you - especially not in his presence. After all, it was a blessing in itself that he allowed you to breathe around him. Your knees throbbed from the drop of your body but his satisfied hum was enough to drown out all pain. All the air was forced out of your body, his heel digging into your chest, your ribs almost audibly groaning under the force. There was no escape, of course not that you wanted to. Why would you ever leave your perfect God when he was going through the effort of correcting your mistakes? It showed how much he cared, how much he loved, how much he wanted you. That’s why you could bear through it all. For his love, for the love of God. That’s why you would always stay, even as you watched his retreating back through tears and a wide grin, tasting the blood on your teeth. You would forever stay for him. Your very own Lord and Saviour.

[vivizzy]

AASB cosmicball shitpost

(oren’s lying btw. he’s probably ten times gayer than mike.)

[underscorecareless]

photos of mine somewhat recently that capture a vibe I like, but dont rly care to explain here, other than displaying them for your consideration, ty

not ai generated but a little* color editing ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[monachopism]

being jewish with zero affiliation to israel and rather a generational line of activists for palestine is a hard line to walk and sometimes i wish i could just fall off

[sable-roteuth]

I guess I can post here again..... have rina.......

[crows-home]

Do you sometimes wonder if Maria had oldest daughter síndrome ™ and what was going through her head while they were haunting down his little baby brother who she never was able to protect and knows how poorly he is treated by everyone else but her ?

hooooo boy ok. i have so many thoughts about Maria Robotnik anon. You're lucky i have free time right now to ramble.

THIS ENDED UP SO MUCH LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD SORRY LMAOOOO

Maria is somewhat of a blank slate, no? at least, she was in the beginning. Her main purpose was "tragic backstory." and there's something to be said about girls/women in media and their only roles being support for the male characters and their arcs. but those are big conversations that other people are more verbose in digging into. also i'm sleepy.

Maria, to me, has always been a blank slate. If not, she's always been the "perfect, proper, glass child." Poor Maria, so soft-spoken, so kind, but sick. She died sacrificing herself, don't you feel bad for her?

i don't think Maria has eldest daughter syndrome. It's something adjacent, though. It's a suppression of emotions, especially negative ones, that can be seen as eldest daughter syndrome. It's the expectations that have been put on her, by herself, to be kind, be courteous, be good.

Because Maria has a terminal illness, perhaps since she was born. The people in her life care about her so much, her grandfather takes her to space because it lessens her condition, there is a massive project going on to save her life!!

Maria doesn't get to be sad. She doesn't get to be angry. She can't show any of these emotions, can't scream and cry about how unfair all this is, can't speak out against people talking like they've already lost her when she's right fucking here. She can't be "difficult". Because her family has given so much to her, for her. They're so sad when they look at her, she can tell. So, I think, Maria puts this pressure on herself. To smile and be happy and positive, so as to not worry or bother anyone.

Children do that, when they perceive themselves to be a burden. It doesn't matter if they're explicitly told that or not. Maybe the adults in their life tell them "God, taking care of you is so expensive. Do you know how much better things would be if you weren't here?" Or maybe their family is loving, but at the end of the day, they see their parents struggling to pay bills, struggling to put food on the table, and wonder "Is it because of me? Am I weighing them down?"

So they become what I like to call "low-maintenance." Never taking more than is needed, because they're hyper aware of the resources they're taking. They make sure to stay happy and agreeable, because they don't want to cause trouble or bother anyone.

In my head, this is where Maria was at. She was happy, sure! No doubt, she loved her family and her grandfather and she loved Earth so much, so desperately did she want to be a part of it.

But she could never talk about the ugly bits. About her anger and frustration and even the depressing thoughts.

I think she started to with Shadow.

Here's her little brother, this little guy that was born from a test tube to be her cure, but has a soul all his own. Who she could talk to about these tough things.

"I sometimes wonder why I was created," Shadow might say.

And Maria, her soul aching, understands.

They come to their own conclusions, on the ARK, about who they are. Shadow is treated like an experiment, a pet, a thing, rarely ever with respect. By most, except for Maria. Maria looks at Shadow and sees family.

With Shadow, she can be moody. She can be snappy. Shadow can be silly and as unserious as he wants without constantly being under the proverbial magnifying glass. They are siblings, that's what they do!!! They don't have to put up this front like they do in front of other people. They don't have to be perfect when they're around each other.

"I feel guilty," Maria might say. Her voice might quiver and shake, like she's admitting something damning. "For existing, sometimes."

Shadow, absolutely floored by the admission that his sister is not always happiness and sunshine, understands.

I love headcanons and aus where Maria is allowed to be just a Weird Little Girl or really get into what she might have been into (goth, macabre, art, etc.) It gives her depth. It gives her life.

So I imagine all this, all the ways this young girl kept herself amicable and calm and pleasant, because she's so afraid of being anything but. Then I imagine all of it coming away when she's with her brother.

Then I imagine her running down the hall, grabbing his hand as the alarms blare. She is filled with love and hope for a world that she was never sure she would get to see. But by God, Shadow will see it. I imagine that there was always the possibility of death looming over her life, and the bullet just sealed it. I imagine the guilt that she feels when she pushes the button that sends him down. I imagine the fear and sadness she feels at the thought of him being alone, ultimately knowing there's nothing she can do. But hoping it was enough.

[pr0jectult1m]

Funny little messy sketch im going to do nothing with before I go to bed

[pteropods]

Im very tired so sorry if this doesnt make sense. Sometimes I will see people post abt usamericans or anglophones or w/e, and its abt a stupid construst specufuc to the mentioned group or w/e that the rest of the world doesnt actually follow but is considered the norm bcs america/english speaking ppl do it. And like the vast majority of the time I will agree w/ it bt man. Man. sometimes I see smth and I want to grip them by the shoulders saging You are not immune to not considering other cultures either. Holds ur hand.

[sykei]

i just woke up at 4am with a small, mild rash on my forearm. this is so awesome 🐎

[polarized-here]

[Apologies for the sudden absence in art and stuff, I was just a mess for a couple of days and in an art block]

Yeah, I know it wouldn’t make sense but my brain hadn’t shut up about the idea of Sheriff keeping the very same axe that he had… done an impromptu incision with.

[ZA!au is from @spinningbagel, & I should probably head to bed since it is like 2 am basically]

[risingsunresistance]

hourlytechno posted something from the resistance so casual reminder. Soon 👀

[espectres]

5 am ...