#idk if. this is kidney stones. but its hurting in my kidneys

[so-very-small]

somewhere out there, there is a borrower passing the smallest largest kidney stone in the world, and they deserve an entire deep dish pizza for their ordeals

[feelboss]

i wanted to make a post about how "i can fix that" from holes and "as you wish" from princess bride are incredibly poetic and sweet examples of telling someone you love them without saying the words but also i took pain medication for my (potential??????) new kidney stone so im like...

its sweet idk acts and affirmations of love. something seomthing. my kidney hurts.

[freezi-drink]

Rant about medical issues under the cut (it's honestly tmi, and a very long post, feel free to scroll)

A couple Fridays ago (the 8th?) I went to the ER at like 7 in the morning for lower abdominal pain that I just assumed was from PCOS but it was bad enough to need ER grade painkillers, so I went and they gave me painkillers (which didn't do jack shit), and gave me an IV*, and did a blood test and a vaginal ultrasound, and they wanted to do a urine test too but with tummy pain obvs my first thought is to go to the bathroom just to rule things out so I couldn't give a sample when I was there and they Wouldn't Let Me Drink Water (ik this is probs what they Have To Do, but still annoying), so the Dr ended up canceling it and saying it was probs just the PCOS anyway. So he sends me home with a couple prescriptions and I'm like yeah ok whatever. I get home, the hospital calls, said I left my favorite flannel, my dad and I head out to get that, grab my prescriptions, and a smoothie to hopefully get some calories in me. Before he could even leave the smoothie king I made him pull over so I could throw up. Well I'm still laying on the bedroom floor in pain for several hours, even with my dad giving me the prescription painkillers as often as the pharmacist said he could, but I vomit from pain Twice (the first time losing my smoothie so I have No food in me)(also, the best way i found to sit to minimize pain was on my knees with my forehead on the floor, which was NOT helping the nausea lmao) and when I was sitting on the floor of the bathroom bc I was nauseous a fourth time and didn't really feel like throwing up on the bedroom floor, we decided to just cave and go back to the ER. So we go, it's super busy so I sit in the waiting room for probably 20 minutes, they put me in a hallway with reclining chairs and curtains (they had enough space to give me a room that morning) and by this point I am loudly sobbing in pain. I will myself into sitting still so the nice nurse man can give me a new IV in the other arm**, and they order me a urine sample and a CT scan with contrast. Luckily, though, the nurse I got was a saint and made sure I got my morphine shot before they took me for the CT. Anyway, I'm waiting, the morphine isn't working great, but it's there, but then, out of nowhere, the morphine STOOS WORKING so im back to Very Loud Sobbing, and this nurse, wonderful man he is, comes over and says "so I put your pain at a ten, cool?" And it's funny but I'm still dying so they give me toroidal (which helped A LOT btw, i was sleepy and giggling for a While) and once it had kicked in he wheeled me over to the restroom for the urine sample, which was all fine and good, we passed a girl in the hall that I went to highschool with, he even paused the wheelchair so I could say hi, and when they eventually finished their testing, they essentially said "our bad man, 👎it's actually kidney stones :/" and told me that I had already passed some, but that there were some still there that could pass anytime between that night and a year from now. So they give me a whole slew of drugs - antibiotics, prostate relaxer (for the bladder? idk), nausea pills, two different pain meds (one lighter, one heavier) and sent me home. Cut to now, it appears that the time has come for at least one to pass, and it FUCKING HURTS and i'm ON MY PERIOD***, screaming swears into the ceiling, and generally having a bad time, so basically my life sucks lmao

*I have been to the ER many, many times, and had many, many IVs before, but Not Once has it ever hurt, and this shit HURT. As soon as I took off the bandage, there was a massive bruise that has lasted over a week. :|

**this IV was wonderful, and didn't even leave a little baby bruise, barely even a mark, ily nurse that was assigned to me mwah

***also its not just period pain, I do in fact know the difference now :|

[imisswinter]

i learned i have kidney damage today from blood test results

tw : sh ana

i dont think its severe but im taking a break from ana for a second

not too hard but im just going to have to be for conscious and cant drink coke zero and eat salty foods.

its going to be hard for me to redirect some of my oral fixations to safer ones but also im going to have a hard time controlling myself because im feeling weird.

im predisposed to organ damage because my body produces too much collagen and allows it to accumulate. ive known this, but ive hated myself for so long for unrelated reasons i mentally disregarded about the consequences. i would fast for days on end and only drink water and acidic things. i would take ibuprofen/prescribed medications on an empty stomach in fear of seeing my face bloat from a cracker. knowing full well i could hear and feel the searing tearing pain in my torso; so bad i would reflexively bend over clutching my stomach and instantly groan...of course resuming seconds later as if nothing had happened.

i ignored it and just kept on dancing, walking, working, whatever i was already distracting myself with .

i hate feeling concerned with my health it always throws me into a hypochondriadic spiral. i dont want to question my bodys every weep.

idk i feel so conflicted about wanting to hurt myself

thankfully my parents care about me if i tell them and im grateful for that. but i dont want to make them sad. i want to do the things that make me happy. as in i dont want to be in a hospital all day. if im going to die i want to spend my mobile days free. we have resources for care 100%. but kidney failure is is little more precarious than a gall stone or a bad flu. its also my fault. ive had this auto immune disease and still treated my body poorly. im not even skinny. i want to escape from all of this. im so ungrateful for everything.

[yusukenui]

mdzs novel stay safe from me today only cause the episode had enough recoil damage to put me to sleep before 2 am

[noblechaton]

happy new years dudes! 

this post is a sort of run down of my last year or so and rlly it’s just me rambling about my (sometimes gross, warning to all gross-haters out there (like me)) health issues so feel free to look past this

2020 was probably the single hardest most stressful year of my entire life so far and while some reasons are uh. kinda obvious. it sort of especially crunched down on me as it was the first year of my life where I had a persistent health problem for the entire duration

back near the end of 2019 (october 19th I think) I noticed this weird pain in my chest and it scared the heck outta me when it didn’t go away after a few days so I managed to get to go to the doctor for the first time in maybe an actual decade? to try and sort it out bc like on one hand my habits were(/are) bad and the day beforehand I’d been running on a horrid amount of sleep and my only food was bad fast food stuff for breakfast and dinner

anyway the appointments started coming after that as test after test cleared me of. well. anything. there wasn’t really anything weird found after a stress test or uh. this one test where they ran a wand over my body with some goo on it. idk what its called

so naturally I was really just totally lost bc the pain was still there up until around late january?? I think? my memory gets a bit hazy here bc so much had happened but I’m pretty sure that shortly after it faded away (mid february-ish?) I felt normal-ish but then had this awful headache that just straight up wouldn’t go away that lasted a month or so that got so bad I broke down and begged for a hospital despite knowing my bill was outrageous already but I managed to go anyway and got a CAT scan then and an MRI a few days later that turned up nothing again. legit nothing (aside from a kidney stone lol) and just like the chest stuff it faded

some time after that I got really shaky aches and pain sin my wrists and ankles that hurt super bad that I sort of didn’t talk about but at that point at least it was something I could sort of cope with and it eventually stopped after a while (I think this was bc of an antidepressant I was on that I just. immediately stopped taking as a result of the pain) 

but eventually that gave way to what was the worst of it where I spent around 2 months being entirely unable to eat or drink /anything/. I mean anything at all. water of any sort, crackers, it all came back up and. really really sucked. I lost a lot of weight and struggled a lot and I still struggle to talk about this one bc it was so traumatic and I’m terrified of it coming back to this day (I still don’t eat or drink all the stuff I used to eat or drink and maybe never will. I almost entirely avoid dairy of all kinds now which might tie into my current problem??)

obviously I got multiple tests for this. two cameras down my tummy and an emptying study and all of which turned up.............nothing. nothing I didn’t already have anyway. nothing that could be causing it and then of course shortly after the last test, the one that I thought would definitively answer what was wrong with me,(the emptying one), I was so desperate for food that late one night I devoured some awful fried chicken from the grocery store in the middle of the night and fell asleep and the next day I could finally, thankfully sort of eat again. my dad cooked up salmon for me since it’d been in the freezer and I tried it and it mostly stayed down and then from there it stopped happening all together

this one still stresses me out and again I’m fucking terrified of it bc I still have no indication on what it is or was

but that brings me to the last month or two? (which is a good ~4-5 months? from that last thing I think. my perception of time is fucked and filled with me being pricked with fluids and stuff bleugh) which has been mostly this weird discomfort/pain in my left side that’s almost always there (but has faded sometimes) with the occasional awful discomfort uh. between my legs back there. and this awful burping habit where I taste the last thing I ate for a while

this one’s hard to pin down and I haven’t been to a doc for it (yet, I wanna go and get a colonoscopy and even asked about a stool test that one doc said no to?? and plus it’ll probably be even harder now than it was before) and I’ve been on various laxatives (started back when I wasn’t eating as not eating meant getting anything out was uh. difficult) that all sort of dipped in usefulness. lately I’ve been drinking a glass of prune juice every day or two and it seems to do the most help but it’s still there

now this is odd for me bc I’m not even sure I’ve been constipated or anything and there’s a few theories I’ve had that range from me having IBS to it being tied to my body recovering from 2-3 months of not eating or uh. removing waste. to suddenly doing it a lot (this is also my theory on the belching since my neck/throat used to hurt a shitload on account of all the acid and stuff coming back up but it’s sort of slowly felt less bad?). I also sometimes feel super zoned out and foggy but that might just be my bad sleeping

lately I’m sort of wondering if this is maybe all a neurological thing?? or maybe some sort of mental snap caused by stress from my life. it’s been hard for me to consider much else beyond a deep mental issue after so many tests ended up with good results

I’m not smart enough to know for sure but. idk. a year of nearly nonstop bodily pain no matter what I did (exercise, no exercise. eating better, eating worse, etc.) with every single possible test done beyond a select few providing no results has sort of left me as a terrified wreck without anywhere to turn and it just sucks. I’m tired of being so scared of my own body

and all of that on top of. y’know. everything going on in the world. it fucking sucks

last year was real fuckin bad man and I can only try and hope that this year gives myself and everyone else a reprieve at least. a moment to breathe and be consistently happy again. thank u guys for still hanging around me and enjoying the piddly amount of original content I put out. 

I wanna do more for this acc since it, and you guys, got me thru a lot of this last year or so (I even got to see Glaciator in the hospital once lol) and I intend to start streaming myself playing video games over on twitch more often but I can’t make any promises rn. all I can do is hope to continue putting out even the dumbest of posts that y’all might get even a tiny laugh out of

[winterscaptain]

I don't know if I like SPN anymore, but it's like my guilty pleasure. And I'm nervous for tomorrow. What's going to happen? Someone's going to be upset no matter what. I just want them to hug each other and be happy. Also, I hope you get a diagnosis soon, because diagnosis means that treatment can start. -🦇

that’s so valid!! i stopped watching circa season 7... i think??? idk it was some time in high school, but i’ve been keeping up through the dash!! i’m very interested to see what they get up to in this finale. 

an update! they think its a decent-sized kidney stone that’s causing and exacerbating my infections! it also hurts like a kidney stone, apparently. i had an ultrasound today, so they should know more after they get those all analyzed and stuff. thanks baby!!

[tsukidrama]

I guess it’s my turn to say I’ve been getting distracted playing video games, I just got The Last Of Us 2! So far 2022 seems to be good for me, I spent New Years Eve with my friends (all vaccinated don’t worry)! I hope you had a good time.

Ah, I also hope you feel better with your kidney stone? I don’t really know how they work, so I don’t know whether I should say it passes quick or hurts less, either way I hope both of those happen. It doesn’t sound fun at all, the thought of them always grossed me out.

aw it happens! don't sweat it, i promise. have fun though crying your way through that game lmao. i'm glad that you had a good new years and that you were safe! thanks! unfortunately i've had better new years than spending most of the night trying to convince my family that i didnt need to go to the hospital :/ i'm better now but still pretty meh, tryin to hang on til the weekend

lmaoo. i guess? idk if i've passed yet it or what (i hope so) but i do know have never been in pain like that in my life, it hurt so much that it was making me nauseous. idk what i would have done if i didn't have my wife to get me through it, i love her so much.

> A thought about Annie enjoying decorating I had: imagine her covertly putting up pink decorations for Valentines Day. She sneaks heart stickers on the windows, and when you ask she just says, “oh I thought you did that, hmm.” You know it’s Annie secretly decorating but you save her the embarrassment. She’s too cute. <

> Annie in overalls and flannels all the time better be canon in TRNT, that’s what I’m imagining her wearing. Especially the first chapter when she’s building the house, a lot of lesbian energy there. <

AWWW YES ITS CANON 😇💕 that's so cute she's secretly such a softie once you can get her to drop that grouchy uninterested front she puts up. she cares SO much about making her gf happy but would rather burst into flames than have it be acknowledged, because emotions are humiliating.

chapter 1 is in the middle of the summer so i picture a tank top and shorts BUT she's wearing a tool belt so it's still the gayest possible look of all time.. chapter 6 is set in the winter though so i'll put her in a flannel. just for you, because i love u!

> I know I’m a bit late but once again, take your time with the new chapter. No pressure on my end (I’m still excited, though)< > Happy 2022, < > Pink Anon <

no worries! and thanks wkenkenbf at this point it's happening when it's happening. my kidney stones said: fuck your writing!

happy 2022! thank you thank you

[cat-skull]

i had a hospital adventure and i am now CHOCK FULL OF MORPHINE. here... is my story 

it begins earlier this evening t like fuckin. idk 9? and i was Dying. on the toilet. clutching a tashcan. Extreme Vomiting. from the PAIN of the Worst Dying PAin Agony in this LIFETIME SHIT guys.. i was just Writhing and sweating and DYIBG and but the pain was just on this right side of my back and side,,, suspicously.. right where my kidney lives......

so then i stop puking. and go to the hospital and they either were hacving The Slowest medicine night or i just looked so awful they took pity on me cause i got a room immediately and began writhing on the hospital bed and my mom told those doctors just what was HAPPENING> what the hap was fuckening. then i waited forEver and i tohught “is this it? is this the end for me? not like this...” but only like ten minutes had passed then those doctors they gave me pain killers and i was ok. 

BUT THEN!! that nurse said “time for a catscan. you might hve KidNey Stone Passing Syndrome Disease Plague, which everone in the world says is the worst pain. and worse than having birth. so get in this wheelchair to go to scan land” i got in the wheelchair and went to scan land. and i was Hurting :( then in my room where ooops forgot to say earlier but they stole my pee and said it had blood. anyway. i go back to my room and i said “blease.... the PAIN.... my KidnEy stone...” and they! gave! me! more! MEDICINE and i went asleep. then i woke up and blah blah blah i still was hurtin so bad i said once more “bplease.” 

they gave me MORPHINE and my legs immediately Stopt. jelly leggis as i always say, when i get morphine put into my blood for the first time this very night. and then i got perscriptions and i went to walgreens and the cashier looked at me and said “howre you doing tonight” i said “alright.” because this drug is in me. then she said “ YOU dont liook it!!!” i had Hospital Gear equipped. “well im doing better than earlier” and she laughed because im fuckin hilarious. my mom says “karen on morphine is very talkative” no. im just very          .....on morphine. anyway now i have to drink a million water bottles every day and piss into a filter to catch the evil rock meandering its way through mine own baody. the End,

[heyekiel]

Many Questions Tag

rules: answer these 85 statements

tagged by @th7thsense thank u i love u !!

THE LAST

1. drink: tea 2. phone call: mom 3. text message: it was sephora jfbjfbn 4. song you listened to: ludovico einaudi - questa notte (this dude awesome check him out if you like classical) 5. time you cried: yesterday night? 6. dated someone twice: when i was figuring things out 7. kissed someone and regretted it: yeah i kinda regret everything but also dont cause i know better where i am now 8. been cheated on: nope 9. lost someone special: yes 10. been depressed: yes 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: not sure if it was related but yeah

3 FAVORITE COLORS

12. black 13. white 14. deep deep red

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. made new friends: yes, i made a few here on tumblr !! bless yall ily 16. fallen out of love: nah love as yall hear it is a forreign concept to me 17. laughed until you cried: yup (thanks sis) 18. found out someone was talking about you: yes? i dont know? 19. met someone who changed you: nope 20. found out who your friends are: dont have friends 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: no

GENERAL

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life:  lol you rly think im gonna go count 23. do you have any pets: yep, i got 9 cats at the moments and farm animals (too much to count soz) 24. do you want to change your name: yes, it’s planned,, dont really know the legal proccess yet but,, its planned 25. what did you do for your last birthday: ate cake with m mom and sis and the twins i think? then went back to studying lmao 26. what time did you wake up: 6:30 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: crying lmao 28. name something you can’t wait for: death 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: when she dropped me off at the train station last night 31. what are you listening to right now: nothing im watching elijah and christine 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: my cousin named thomas does that count? 33. something that is getting on your nerves: lol myself 34. most visited website: tumblr, yt and the uni webmail 35. hair colour: dyed black, natural brown 36. long or short hair: i have rly short hair like mark short? they used to be waist long lmao i cut everything at the same time 37. do you have a crush on someone: im ace/mostly aro 38. what do you like about yourself: my right hand nails hsbvsvjhfj (no but my eyes are rly pretty) 40. blood type: b- 41. nickname: my sis calls me ya (from mydead name) but @zhonqchenle calls me ez and thats it i have no friends lmao 42. relationship status: still ace/aro 43. zodiac: scorpio 44. pronouns: sigh genders,, but they/them (i dont mind he/his cause theres no neutral pronouns in french but,, the first im more comfortable with i guess) 45. favourite tv show: teen wolf is my shit ngl, sense 8 (still gotta see season 2), and bad guys (thats a drama guys check it out its a police dark serail killer one stuff shit i love it its so good) 46. tattoos: thats planned,, but im broke rn we’ll see later lmao 47. right or left handed: right handed 48. surgery: kidney stone removal (fucking drink guys that is NOT fun) and other stuff are planned for later 50. sport: i did artistic gymnastic for like 9 years, i danced for a while (i did modern, hip-hop, classical), i did natation i did a bit of aikido (im not sure thats how you write it thats a martial art),, but i dropped everything in the end (i do a bit of boxing tho) 51. vacation:  rn? lmao im in uni and we broke 52. pair of trainers:  addidas i think,, theyre from last year

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: nothing 54. drinking: also nothing 55. I’m about to: study lmao thats all i fucking do 56. waiting for: the sweet release of death 57. want: learn to compose (have the time time for it who am i kidding) 58. get married: nope (id marry a friend tho lmao) 59. career: dream job? producer. actual job? i don’t now, either psychiatrist, comportementalist, legist, sound engeneer (i cant speel this fucking word i give up) ?

WHICH IS BETTER

60. hugs or kisses: both (kisses dont mean romantic love to me id kiss a friend on the lips i dont,, care) 61. lips or eyes: both bitch 62. shorter or taller: it doesn’t matter to me idc 63. older or younger: also dont care 64. nice arms or nice stomach: what does nice mean lmao,, i dont really care 65. hook up or relationship: sigh 66. troublemaker or hesitant: both leaning over the first

I realized this was dating question kdfbjkdb LMAO so,, this is bout anyone im comfortable with jbkjbsjvsd /rly close friends and shit/

HAVE YOU EVER

67. kissed a stranger: dont think so 68. drank hard liquor: lmao yeah 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: yeah but i found them 70. turned someone down: yeah 71. sex on the first date: i knew the dude but yeah 72. broken someone’s heart: yeah i guess 73. had your heart broken: yeah 74. been arrested: i dont get out my bed kjsbvss 75. cried when someone died: yes 76. fallen for a friend: thought i did,, ended up ruining myself

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

77. yourself: no lmao,, my ability to get through shit by really impulsive decisions?? yes 78. miracles: depends what you mean by that,, i guess it case by case 79. love at first sight: yall gotta stop putting your whole life and heart and trust in someone you know thats how you get murdered fucking stop 80. santa claus: stop what if kids see this 81. kiss on the first date: dont care none of my buisness,, it becomes if one of my  friends gets hurts or i witness someone get hurt 82. angels: why not gotta believe in something (im the angel i am ;))

OTHER

84. eye colour: lOL theyre really weird but really pretty ive never seen it anywhere else ?? theyre bleue on the outside and turn grenn/grey-ish, then brown/gold ish in the middl its fucking wild istg. i didnt know what to put for the passport lmao (also pics dot take all of the colors?? thats a lil weird too idk rly) 85. favourite movie: imitation game,, enders game,, i forgot one i dont remember?? im tired

tagging: @jenolees @zhonqchenle @safetypillow

[jqmwol6y-blog]

My front axle broke while driving and the whole wheel came off. Should my insurance cover this?

My front axle broke while driving and the whole wheel came off. Should my insurance cover this?

My front axle broke while driving and the whole wheel came off. Should my insurance cover this?

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :COVERAGE-FINDER.NET

SOURCES:

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[taylorb94-blog1]

medical mystery

so one reason i wanted to start a blog was to vent and write out about the medical mystery thats going on with me right now. so here is the deal, pain we all experience it, physical or emotional. but, both at the same time is just unfair.

it all started two years ago, normal night sitting at home and then it started, the pain. lower abdomen, upper pelvis, whatever the medical professionals like to call it. basically us ladies know it as the area around the ovaries. i know what you are thinking and no these were not cramp x.x. thanks to the depo shot i haven’t had a period or cramps in what feels like forever. yes, i know “tmi” well you started reading and the natural human curiosity is making you keep reading.

so pain started, first kind of annoying but as the night went on, it got more and more intense. doubled over, screaming, crying, worst pain of my life. so my mom rushes me to the er, 5 hours, poked with needles and peeing in cups later, doctor says bladder infection. he convenced me that, thats all it was, shot me up with some toroidal and anti-biotics and sent me on my way. 

few nights later, same thing. this story is funny just wait. so since i was just there and showing the same signs, more poking for blood and they wheel me off to do a ct. now we (my mom and i ) are waiting, and waiting, and waiting...... finally doctor peaks his head in the curtain and the first thing out his mouth,” have you been swallowing coins?”, as you could imagine i had the most angry and confused look on my face. only thing i could think to say was “ DO I LOOK LIKE A  3 YEAR OLD LEFT ALONE WITH CHANGE?!?!?” don’t get me wrong in todays day in age with munchhousins and crazy people i get now that it was a valid question, but at the time i was just upset.so the diagnosis that night was “foreign objects in the cologne” yea try to go to work and explain that to your boss. with out mentioning names, i had a mole in the hospital who may have looked at my file for me. the ct tec. said the objects were “ undissolved food or pills”.... so my “coins” was my dinner. cant roll my eyes hard enough.

fast forward grand total of 6 E.R. visits. yes i know a lot but hey i needed answers. there were nights i laid in my bed just thinking to myself that a butter knife to the abdomen would give me some relief. why a butter knife? just think of how pissed off you have to be to make damage with a butter knife..... scary right? now we move on to the ob/gyn two different doctors, 4 different ultrasounds later. nothing , and everything passed though our minds,( cancer, cysts, endometriosis, ect. even telling myself if its the worst, “ hey i can always adopt”) but everything came back normal. 

then one doctor had the magical idea that he pulled out of his butt “hernia”. and if you are like me with all this medical mystery, google has become your best friend. a hernia occurs when you put strain on your body with heavy lifting and what not, producing a lump or bulge. i could be sitting down doing nothing and this pain starts, (hell its hurting now and i’m laying in bed typing this.) but i went with it, and talked to a surgeon. fast forward to another ct scan. this time with the contrast, both oral and though iv. if you have ever tasted that stuff, omg it was horrible and then to “make it taste better” they added raspberry flavoring. yea that tasted like a raspberry’s asshole. But i pinched my nose and gulped as much as i could at a time. thinking to myself “do this now and we get answers later.” 3/4 of a liter everything that went down tried to come back up. and as i sat in that waiting room i held back tears, because yes, there were more people in there with me. all waiting to do cts, lucky some not having to drink the horrible drink. but i couldn't help but think to myself, they all know what they are looking for. cuz of course i was eves dropping on conversations, but one cute guy was there for kidney stones, one was looking for something else i forgot, but when they asked me, all i could say was Idk and try not to cry. yes everyone was there for a bad reason but they all had something more then me. a piece of mind, a diagnosis, a plan. i had nothing but a gut full of nasty drink and theory. 

ct results come back, i sit in the doctors office hopeful that we have an answer, that we can make a plan, that i can finally start to feel better. 

my world came crashing down the second she walked in the door. i could see it all over her face, then she spoke,”honey i’m sorry but we don’t see anything on the ct,” i cried beyond control, ugly crying face and all. 

side note, i am not a thin woman. yes i am plus size and “over weight” and due to this sickness i haven’t been able to work out and lose weight. but after crying my eyes out so frustrated to the point i was begging for exploratory surgery. the surgeon looked at me and said “maybe if you lose some weight.” .... ok now im pissed. “NAME ONE FAT PERSON WHO HAS THIS PROBLEM” yes i need to lose weight, but don’t make that the dumb answer to this situation.

needless to say here we are, still in pain, changed diet, gone gluten free and all that fun stuff and yes i have lost some weight. Has any pain subsided? hell no. 

the pain had escalated to where i could not walk. so my mom took me to the emergency room again. (against my wishes) and i told the doctor on call” i was not leaving with out some kind of answer and stronger medication then what ive been given (cuz lets face it, no i don’t want hard core pills but the aspirin they have been giving me was not worth the kidney damage it was doing, it did not put a dent in the pain.) i laid on that bed crying, to the point i couldn't speak, and as me and my mother told her the adventures of the past two years. for the first time i left she was actually listening, that she didn't want to rush me out of there but actually give me an answer,especially when i said the magic words “please cut me open, ill do the exploratory surgery”, of course she didn't have one, but her theory goes right back to ovaries, something called interstitial cystitis. 

so we are back to square one, thinking its my ovaries but at least now i have a stronger theory, yes the pain is horrendous, the doctor visits seem tedious, and you start to question your sanity when the doctor tells you that nothing is wrong or they cant find anything. but its your piece of mind that you must hold on to. 

at the end of this, i hope people will say, “ she was a Warrior.”

i plan to keep you all updated as i continue my mystery medical journey. and i hope you are an entertained with my tails.

this is my story, i don’t regret posting it.