#idk if this is coherent i got emotional

[vickyvicarious]

God preserve my sanity was told like a legit prayer in the audio!!

It's like. Preserve my sanity. Let me die sane and leave the real me behind. Let me fight the madness clawing at the edges of my mind until I can preserve my soul in these pages and help someone else. And because it's not a story about Individualist Hero conquering all, he manages to save his sanity until he could no more. And then, mad and at the mercy of kinder souls, he waits for his love, whose name was the very first thing he could manage remember, to come to him.

I have been trying and failing to come up with an eloquent response to this for days and days now. Well said. God.

I can't get the image/sound of Jonathan praying into his diary out of my head. There's something here in finding faith and in his desperation and determination keeping him going when he doesn't even have hope anymore, because he wants so badly to live, to leave this place, to return to the one he loves. He just keeps going and going and pushing himself through as long as possible, but as soon as he is out of immediate danger he just can't anymore. He's been running on fumes for so long already. But it's okay, because even if that diary (diary as sanity, diary as soul, diary as ability to help prevent this happening to others) is all he has when he leaves, he still has it. He lost so much else but he managed to protect the most important things long enough. It's okay that he couldn't keep going longer, because as soon as he managed to get out he wasn't alone anymore. The kindness and care of strangers bookends his castle experiences and ensures Jonathan's survival. This novel isn't about an Individualist Hero at all, it's about bonds that bring people together, trust and love and support, and when Jonathan simply can't carry the weight of everything he's experienced any longer, others are there to support him. Even before Mina physically arrives. But she was there all along...

The thought of Mina gave him the strength to stay alive long enough to make it back to her, she was the first one he could speak about, his first clarity in the depths of his madness. And she accepted him, as changed and weakened as he was, with immediate and complete joy. She accepted his diary, the gift of his horrible experiences (diary as sanity, etc--), and treasured and protected it and him. Never betrayed his trust but only sought to help him, and once she learned what he'd been through she believed him without hesitation. Sought to validate him immediately, to reassure him that the sanity he scratched and clawed to preserve was indeed real - and yes, thus his nightmares too, but he did it. He made it out. And his record achieved what he wanted all along, it helped to protect others from Dracula and his like, it helped them to end him forever. (But not alone. None of them could have done it alone.)

His prayer is granted, more than granted because he makes it out the other side of this in the end. Forever changed, but not in the way he feared so badly, the way he was willing to die to escape. And instead of dying alone with only the desperate desire that his words can serve to help someone, anyone... he lives on, surrounded by a new family. Having defeated his former tormentor for good. And while the original diary no longer exists (just as pre-castle Jonathan can never come back), there are copies. The knowledge (his soul, his sanity, every metaphor or symbol ever applied to his diary as well as all the other letters and journals of everyone else) will never be lost.

[getsemantic]

Penumbra podcast junoverse finale………

[dossei-dossei]

how deal with taidan

[msftsn]

and @maljefe wrote in the journal; staining paper with ink to bleed the words : ❛  the truth is, i don’t want just anyone. i want you.  ❜ love confessions . loni & kazimir .

unnaturally blue eyes widen for a moment, surprise taking the cyborgs visage over like a thundering storm and for a moment it was as if kazimir brahms didn't exist. as if that cursed man from all those years ago was still alive, still human. as if that wretched man was standing here instead of him. as if there was still any humanity left in him. he stares at her, looking as though she'd just casually revealed the secrets of the world to him. she looks conflicted, as if she too can sense that this wasn't how it was supposed to be. the playful banter, the tension in the air ... it was supposed to be casual. sort of. they both knew better than to chase after something with someone who could ruin their life. & yet here they were. for a selfish moment he wants to smile.

because he never stopped loving her even after death.

his mouth opens, and perhaps for the first time since kazimir brahms first came to be his voice is more human than robotic; his throat constricts, hurts with the strain as it trembles in shock. even though he knows that he shouldn't be saying anything when he was the one who sought her out, who wouldn't let his past remain buried and followed her even though she didn't even recognize him. who selfishly pulled her in and pulled her close while donning and entirely new life and name. they both silently agreed that this was not going to be some cheesy story. that she'd do her thing just like he'd do his - that the closest to commitment they shared would be chris because whether he wanted to or not, that was her son. what foolish, emotional hypocrites they had been. his voice trembles, shivers. cracks and wavers.

❛  this isn't supposed to happen! you can't just fall in love with me!  ❜ - ❛  too late. ❜

she looks at him as if she's not sure if she can truly reach him; as if she didn't know she already owned his heart before she even knew him. and she doesn't, he remembers. because he's cruel. unfair. because he never truly told her anything other than the scraps he was willing to throw over his wall. he wants to think that maybe he wasn't built for love, but even though he knows he wasn't ... he does. he loves. he loves her with all his heart, with every fiber of his being and every piece of his brain. with every last bit of his soul; he loved loni valadian. itohan eghide once said that the actuality that the heart does not want to feel doesn't negate the certitude that it once felt and will still feel. the second he read that quote he hated it for its truth.

now that he thinks about it, perhaps he's been too self-indulgent, too selfish in the entire ordeal of this; and now he alone carries the guilt of two heavy hearts bared to destinies cruel wits. mien relaxes, shock making way for a raw sort of sadness that he should not be able to convey. he is breaking his system; or rather, loni is. but it is not the kind of breaking that will cause him to short circuit, rather it is a sort of brokenness that will allow him a little more freedom in his humanity, maybe. if he is lucky. and if he isn't ... well, it was nice for a few seconds he'd say. he looks at loni, looks at the furrowed brows, the serious expression on her face; the faintest twitch of her mouth that betrays that she wants to grab him by the collar and shake him for not saying anything else and letting her words dangle in the air - for allowing himself to get hurt, badly, without giving her a chance to say these words to him.

she's yelled at him for that before, right when he woke up. he assumes it's because she knows that unlike normal people he does not need time to readjust after waking up when his wounds have been tended to, simply because his body cannot feel the exhaustion and fatigue humans or humanoid-aligning creatures can. he lets out a dry, low huff at that, gives a bitter smile at the ground. he's feared that, for a while. he'd hoped that loni would be like him; a coward in their own right. but she isn't, never has been and he regrets underestimating her like that. she shouldn't be so intimidating to him in this moment, she was the one with her heart on her sleeve, she was the one baring it to him not the other way around. and yet, he falls backwards, lands his ass on the couch and puts his head in his hands, body racking as if he's sobbing violently. and maybe, just maybe, if his body could it would be doing just that. but it can't.

❛  don't do that. don't love me. don't give me your heart for me to waste it. ❜

his voice is breaking, cracking at the edges to reveal the sharp vulnerability that has cut him all these years. reveals the rawness that he's hid behind the lie of being incapable of processing such deep emotions. if he wasn't himself maybe he'd be happy. ecstatic even. he remembers a time where he would have jumped in joy to find out his emotions were reciprocated. but those times were over, at least in the outwardly joyousness. that person died when he thought of trying to help make the world safer against people like him. when he thought the one good deed he could do was destroy the very group that wanted to send him after the she-wolf.

he doesn't need to look up to know she probably feels just as helpless as him. it had to be said, had to be outed. if he stops denying it then he knows that much, but he would've hoped it never had to happen. emotions as soft as this deserved tenderness, to be treated like the fragile things they were; not to be thrown into two lives full of darkness and violence. he shakes his head, again, again and again before he gives up. looks up at loni with utter defeat in his eyes. his voice is hoarse, the faint traces of static buried underneath the pure agony in his voice. no, he's destroyed himself with this love. he refuses to pull her into the self - inflicted destruction too.

❛  don't love me. it will kill you the way it killed me to love you. ❜

[2manyfandoms2count]

It's been a week and a half and I'm still getting emotional at how upbeat/hopeful 1989 (stolen) was, and how devastating the addition of even just Say Don't Go is:

"Why'd you whisper in the dark/Just to leave me in the night" feels like a direct reference to You're in Love's "one night, he wakes/a strange look on his face/pauses, then says/you're my best friend", which in retrospective is just heartwrenching

And then you have the whole kind of echo to How You Get the Girl, and may I say: ouch. As someone who writes alternate scenarios of how I wish things would go/would've gone just to get them out of my system, I appreciate the depth of HYGTG even more now because suddenly it no longer feels like just a catchy song that provides an excellent framework for what you want to hear when you've fallen for someone who doesn't know what they want, and how they should handle finally figuring it out; behind that kind of breezy song, a part of me kind of feels like it's a shot in the dark to possibly hear those words from the one you'd like to hear the words from.

This is without mentioning All You Had to Do Was Stay. There's something about the sense of pride in that song, staying away even when the person you wanted comes back, because of the hurt it caused you once. Being forced to leave yourself, because the other isn't staying, even if they might not be actively leaving.

Anyway, I might be reading too much into this because it resonates a lot right now but yes. I just feel like Say Don't Go adds an extra layer to 1989 tv which is just. Wow.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[maraczeks]

+

[dan-crimes]

I hate the creativity my dream mind has because I rarely have dreams and my dreams tend to be the most thought out creative things I've seen myself create just fully functioning game ideas or murder mystery type deals or just complex storylines or even just fully self indulgent crossovers with cartoon characters lmao and it makes me UPSET bcuz I can never think of that stuff while I'm AWAKE so I think my dreams are sucking up all my creativity

[vaguely-concerned]

My two cents on how much of Mind!Varric is Rook’s mind trying to fill the blank space and how much is Solas actively talking through a convenient blood magic paper doll of the mind: I think it's a mix of both, a truly collaborative psychosocial horrorshow if you would, but waaaay more towards the second. It feels too directed and tactical at times to be anything else. Rook's mind is willing to go along with the denial phase as far as it can fucking carry them to not have to face the grief and regret and does its part in papering over details that don’t make any sense, the way brains will strive to create coherent meaning even out of deeply confusing input, but to my understanding it's a collaborateur in how that plays out, not the instigator or control center. Solas is using it as a path to agency and to gather insight into Rook as a person unguarded as he can't count on in his own guise. (That stoic option that leads to him being like 'oh I see you're cautiously denying me access to your inner life. well. at least you still have Varric to talk to. y'know as an outlet :)'. You absolute BITCH Solas! That alone convinced me that he HAS to have an active hand in it on some level.)

My guess is that it takes considerable effort on Solas’ part to make Mind!Varric do anything more involved or complicated than seeming to sit up in bed and give casual commentary, and that’s why he keeps having eerie five minute shallow pep talks with you before he announces he conveniently needs a nap aaanyway good luck kid you got this haha. When he’s just spouting NPC lines from his bedrest, I’m ready to believe that could be Rook’s mind being allowed to improv lines for him more freely because it’s less about Solas trying to get something out of them or working an angle and more ‘Still here! Still totally alive and fine and the mentor figure you know and love and trust :) don’t even worry about it! Thankfully there is no war in Ba Sing Sei, as we all know’ upkeep work lol. Rook’s mind is allowed to set the tone of Varric, the outlines, but not always the content. 

AND, on a (beautifully fucked up) character psychology level, I feel like Solas is indulging in actually getting to be the good supportive mentor figure to Rook with one hand to assuage the guilt he feels about what he's done -- and what he's going to do -- to them with the other. Same internal logic as he uses in Trespasser about the Qun. ‘Almost everyone is going to die from the course of action I’m doggedly pursuing eventually. But at least I can make their last years happier and freer and kinder than they would have been otherwise. and that kind of makes up for it right. a little bit. doesn't it. doesn't that make it better at least. I need that to make it better)'. Did I really take your beloved mentor and friend from you if you don’t know yet that I did? Some philosophers would argue not really! So it’s probably almost ok actually. Isn’t it even a little noble that I’m taking all this grief and guilt on myself and shielding you for now. With undertones that I’m not sure he would realize himself (and might be mortified by if he did) that he is so incredibly lonely, and even a dishonest and indirect emotional connection is more than nothing when you’re that desperate. In this setup he gets idk. Both the control he craves so incredibly badly in relationships and over himself, and the scraps, the fading afterimages, of intimacy and warmth and companionship, even second hand. The one thing Solas and Rook agree on deep deep down is that they really wish Varric weren't gone. They're handshake memeing this in the saddest and most creepy way possible.

I think an important element too is that Solas needs Rook and their team to *succeed* —  up to a certain point. He needs someone to hold the two other elven mean girls off until he can get out of here. Ideally, in a perfect world, even do all the hard work of killing them so he can swoop in at the end and do his thing when both sides are exhausted and out of resources to stop him, and then Bob’s your uncle! Same logic as he was using with Corypheus, and after that worked out so well, too! King of choosing to never learn from a single solitary mistake he’s ever made even though i fully believe he could have the capacity to Fen’Harel <3 The underlying idea isn’t flawed, you see, it was just unforeseen circumstances getting in the way. This time for sure it’ll all work out the way I cleverly imagined it in my head beforehand. Cue By Talos this can’t be happening etc. in the form of a statue almost crushing him like a bug. 

So he's providing guidance and forging Rook into a leader from two angles: one Rook might not trust, and one they probably will. Shaping them into what he needs slowly and carefully. He’s helping you hone your team into their most effective state, as he might have done with his own agents back in the day, setting up his chess pieces even if he has to squint through two glimpsed realities to do it haha. Pincer maneuver of an insidious stealth mentor you never asked for. Also… at one point mind Varric gives you a whole little monologue about how Solas' problem is that he’s always seen his interpersonal connections as flaws and see where it’s landed him, all alone and the worst part? it hasn’t even worked. it’s all been for nothing he’s back where he began with nothing to show for it but his mistakes. Like...that has such strong 'uh okay happy to play your therapist from two rooms away here what the fuck kind of traumadump is this' energy to me, I’m not sure Rook like. Thinks that much about Solas as a private person. So much of Solas' self-loathing and futile insights into his own flaws seem to shine through in Mind!Varric's dialogue all the time — I just can't believe that there's no guiding hand behind it as it were. 

Most of all. I feel like people underestimate the degree to which Solas is incredibly funny. As in, he has a very consistent and recognizable sense of humour. It’s one of my very favourite things about him. We must remember — it is crucial that we always keep in mind — Orlesian accent and wig Solas from May The Dread Wolf Take You (my beloved, the explanation for why I love this dude even with the. All of the everything else. No one does it quite like him). He is not at all above doing things or adding little flourishes for his own obscure amusement, in fact that seems to me to be one of his most consistent traits. The Randy Dowager Quarterly comment Varric has? The ‘Maybe this is the Dread Wolf’s revenge. Forcing us to house sit for him’ thing? To Me this is 100% Solas amusing himself in his boring Fade jail surrounded by the screaming hellscape of all his regrets. Source: it came to me as divine revelation through pure vibes trust me bro 

If nothing else I find it much more narratively interesting personally if the connection between Rook and Solas really is that defenselessly intimate and entwined (and so unbalanced!), and the sense of violation and invasion and betrayal afterwards consequently all the more nauseatingly intense. Even if you kept him at arm’s length in the open, he’s been under your skin the whole time, looking around, gathering what he needs to destroy you, wearing the face of a friend. Regretfully, probably, but choosing to do it every step of the way anyway. (Sound familiar, Inquisitor? Solas doesn’t have that many tricks when you actually look at it, he keeps returning to old tried and true ones like a dog with a bone haha.) Maybe he even genuinely meant some of it as mercy, which only makes it so much worse. It makes his sin against his own core principles of autonomy and the freedom of all beings in mind, spirit and body so much more juicily grave if it’s something he pursues actively and consistently, rather than it half-falling into his lap as a happy accident mainly orchestrated by Rook’s own subconscious. Solas, too, is at his very lowest point, the closest to giving in and becoming his own antithesis fully that he’s ever been, and it makes the choice of whether you still reach out your hand to him one last time or not all the more impactful and difficult.

[arcane-temp-fandomblog]

The more I rethink Mel's arc which Amanda said was the best arc, the more I feel it encapsulates all the issues of Season 2.

Yes, I think Mel's arc is one of the most coherent with setup at end of Season 1 and end at Season 2. It's bittersweet but good.

But then I think how we got there and there are glaring problems:

- contrived way of being removed from the plot - the abduction by Black rose, Mel is now not a character influencing the plot, not even having opinion on the events of the plot - she will be in Black rose limbo until plot needs her to respawn in plot required place to get her 3 step resolution of the arc. This happens to Jayce, Ekko and Viktor too.

- over the top shocking cliffhanger that feels like something interesting is coming but in hindsight are just for cheap tension - so when Mel is abducted, it spawns speculation of what are Black Rose's intentions, I thought it was building towards something BUT it just segways into clips of exposition of her powers, of the Doomsday coming to piltover and of her mother's history. They abduct this poor woman for months on end to give us exposition. The same happens with Jayce shooting Viktor. We do not understand these actions, they just seem soo final and shocking and leading into something great. I would like to compare it to finale of S1 which is more shocking with Jinx's rocket yet we understand everything about it.

- making things emotional but in hindsight in a cheap way - so, remember when Black Rose kills Elora, Mel's friend? The emotions! The shock, right? BUT Why do they do it? Please, why would an organization that wants Mel to join them kill off her friend? What's the point of it aside for Mel to be sad? Elora actually got off well, she at least has a dialogue about her death unlike Isha or Vander or Jinx or Vander 2.0. If you compare these deaths to how logical deaths of Marcus or Finn were.

- inefficient storytelling - we get black rose scenes but they're just exposition that never flows into the main story. Never influences it. Contrary it makes the whole story worse, because now Black rose abducted Mel for months to tell her she needs to figure out how to avert the Doomsday. So months on end this organization just waited for her to solve the wall puzzle instead of trying to locate and assassinate the threat in Viktor, or influence Piltover politics to throw out Ambessa. This is cartoon logic.

- impossible to resolve conflicts - this is more on Ambessa' writing, because in ep. 8 she goes like this: Mel, it's not enough you'd join me to avenge Kino, we now have this weapon in you and this nice old chemist is lending me a hand making more weapons BUT it's impossible for me to change plans, because to stick it to Black Rose and mages in noxus as magic is unfair, I'm making this new army with the help of this nice mage I just found in the rubble. This army is also exclusively puppeteer by him. This is cartoon logic of a bad guy, not a human.

- keeping conflicts simple by keeping characters apart until 2 scenes before finale - this is hypothetical so please friends be nice, what if instead of Black rose abduction plotline the whole exposition part of it went like this: Black rose possesed Amara asks Mel to help her get introduction to her mother. Mel and Amara meet Ambessa, where Black rose reveals herself like in original scene and delivers the exposition about Mel's origins and Kino's fate. All the while changing faces between Amara, the Ionia princess and Kino to the horror of all involved. Then Mel's powers awaken like in the puzzle wall scene. Idk if that'd be better but it'd be more efficient and would keep Mel in Piltover. One scene instead of several, leaving Mel and Ambessa more time for an arc build up. Also Elora lives. Anyway, that's my stab at it while chilling and listening to 60 y/o lady showing off her spoon collection in an asmr. It's a very nice asmr.

- symbolism as character development - so when Black Rose gives Mel the Ionian processes necklace I felt really good, it felt as if Mel is finally carving her identity as Medarda from Medarda family history. But then it hit me, we don't know what she thinks of it, we don't know why she goes back to noxus on the ship, we know nothing of ot in her words. It's symbolism. Not as bad as Jayce having his whole character development this season conveyed in symbolism by role playing as Bear Grylls in Apocalypse survivor man, but it feels cheap anyway to not write character just use symbolism.

Anyway, those are my gripes and apparently this is the best arc of this show.

[starmocha]

I'm gonna finish this story, I'm gonna finish this story, I'mgonnafinishthisstory, I'm gonna finish this story

Main story of Bride of the Dragon King is currently at 26.7k words...and idk, I think there are like ten scenes left. Most of my writing notes got scattered in my phone, because I've also been itching to write a few other AUs and more of the LNDS babies series. I have a goldfish brain and the attention span of a golden retriever, sorry, I can't be fixed 😔😔😔

Anyhoo, here's a wip snippet to hype myself up lol

Prelude is already out and I am keeping track of who asked to be tagged when I post the main story. Just mention explicitly to me somewhere and I'll add your handle to the list.

“Come here.” “I will not!” you protested vehemently, arms crossed over your chest, back turned to him in embarrassment. You could hear the sound of water splashing, sensed his presence shifting. You blushed harder. Sylus sighed. “I do not like repeating myself.” You flustered, but continued to adamantly keep your back to him. “You are shameless!” Sylus smirked, tilting his head in amusement. “Am I, my beloved?” Before you could even think of deigning him a response, Sylus motioned with his hand, summoning crimson tendrils that wrapped around your body, lifting and dragging you over until you shrieked in shock, finding yourself submerging into a hot spring. You surfaced quickly, gasping and sputtering, choking on the water you had accidentally engulfed. You could hear laughter and you turned in his direction, glaring, red-faced from both anger and embarrassment. You immediately splashed him with the water, yelling, “How could you do that?!” You gasped again, not expecting Sylus to wade closer to you. You quickly tried to avert your eyes, well aware he was completely nude in your presence. The sound of the water splashing seemed to grow louder the closer he moved to you. You whimpered when he invaded your space, his hand gripping your chin, gently guiding you to meet his darkening eyes. “As you have said, my beloved,” he murmured quietly, eyes darting back and forth from your flushed cheeks to your quivering lips, “I am shameless.” You swallowed slowly, heart quickening as his lips moved closer and closer until he finally claimed yours. You weakened, letting yourself be tempted by this sweet kiss, and forgetting momentarily the salacious situation you were in. As Sylus kissed you, his hands skimmed down underwater, resting on your hips and rubbing slow, lazy circles on them, feeling the wet fabric of your clothes clinging to your skin. You could feel an unusual heat building inside you as he touched you, seemingly testing the boundary between the two of you. He pulled away first, eyes growing hazy with desire. You panted, unable to regulate your breathing after the whirlwind of emotions he had just put you through in the last few minutes. You tried to speak, but all coherent thoughts seemed to have left your head, and from the way he was smiling at you, a cross between teasing and adoration, you found yourself at an even greater loss for words. After a moment, you managed to find your voice, as feeble as it may be. “You are so shameless…” you repeated, attempting to look elsewhere, though by this point, Sylus made sure he was the only object of your vision. “…how can you ask a maiden to bathe with you?” “She will be my bride,” he answered unabashed, smirking at your gawk at his audaciousness. His finger traced over your trembling lips, the light, fleeting touch left behind a tingling sensation long after they were gone. He hummed in satisfaction at the reaction you had. “Am I not your lover as well?” You blushed deeper. “…in a sense…” He chuckled, shaking his head in amusement at your coyness and embarrassment. He leaned down, taking your lips for himself again, pleased as he was able to draw out your soft, sweet moans. Minutes passed, he broke the kiss, the warmth of both your breaths intermingled, breathing heavy, and your look of disappointment not missed by his keen eyes. His fingers glided along your flushed cheek, down to your chin, and with a light tilt up so your soft doe eyes met his own aroused gaze, Sylus husked quietly, “In all sense, I want to be your lover.”

[asuyaka]

Eyyy it's been a while since I've requested anything, and since I'm back to my JJK brain rot how about a good old request for my favorite dead divorced gay couple?(how are we copin', manga readers?)

So idk if you've ever seen or heard of the "Missing Halloween" animation on YouTube, BUT--

What if satosugu found out that Reader(who they were very close with) was actually the spirit of an past special grade student that died in a mission by the hands of curse users (maybe they raided the school or something, idk it's like- 1AM in here my brain will not remember all the shit that happens in the JJK lore to make a coherent plot point) and now just roams around near the school, and that explains why everyone just seemingly ignored Reader's presence completely and gave the three weird looks whenever they hung out together. Also I like to think that these two idiots found out about reader's situation after fooling around during detention and accidentally tripping on some dusty old boxes that had some old stuff in it, finding one of those group school year pics from when Yaba was the boys' age and Reader was also in the pic from when they were still alive.

In much simpler words, Satosugu x ghost!reader that they didn't knew was a ghost until they found a picture of Reader's academic years.

-🌈, Anon.

★ - JJK brainrot 's so real f' me too !! (Satosugu once 'm get m grubby lil hands on you... >:(( )

☆ - Satosugu x Ghost! Reader !!

♡ - 's nice ta see you again, 🌈 nony !! ヾ(^▽^*))) hope you're doin' well <33 (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ | 'm have seen Missing Halloween! made me s'sad (◞‸◟；) but s sooo bittersweet! m nota huuugee animation fan, but Missing Halloween 's one of m favs! (๑≧▽≦)

Being a ghost is interesting, to put it simply.

You get to see things you never got the chance to when you were alive, like the top of Mount Fuji and the vast streets of Shibuya. Sure, you missed what it was like to eat your favorite food or speak to people, but it's the price you have to pay for your naivety.

You thought you'd be alone, wandering the hallways of Jujutsu High forever until they came.

Geto Suguru and Gojo Satoru.

The strongest sorcerers in the modern era.

Shock is an emotion you haven't felt since your death, but you feel it again when you notice that those two can not only see but touch you.

It's an odd feeling. Having someone touch your skin after years (it's only been two) of being dead. Weird, but nice.

"Suguru, back me up here!" Satoru whines, holding his friend by his shoulders and shaking him back and forth.

You and Satoru were arguing about which ice cream flavor was the best. Granted, you haven't had ice cream —or any food for that matter— in a long time, but there was no way you would let Satoru get away with saying Birthday Cake.

"This is your argument, and I like Vanilla." Suguru shrugs and the betrayed look on Satoru's face causes you to giggle.

Satoru turns to face you, chest out and voice boisterous. "Well, [Name], since we can't agree, I guess that means we'll have to go to an ice cream store to find out!

Suguru's face turns blank. "Where in that argument did going to an ice cream place happen?"

"Right now, duh." You huff, rolling your eyes dramatically.

"No, guys, I don't have money, and I'm not taking you dumbasses to an ice cream place at this hour." Suguru's voice is stern; like there's no room for back-and-forth bickering.

You three were now at a small ice cream shop a few minutes away from Jujutsu High.

You tried not to talk to Suguru and Satoru much, so to bystanders it wouldn't look like they were talking to literal air, but they didn't get the hint and kept talking to you anyway.

Sometimes you wonder if they even know you're a ghost.

The way Satoru uses you as a headrest (you're putting spiders in his bed tonight) and how Suguru tends to maintain eye contact when he talks to you (earning a couple of odd stares from some in the store), you’re 99.9% sure they think you’re a real person.

Which you are, obviously, but you’re only technically real to them. Why that is, you aren’t exactly sure yourself.

Before you three get to the counter, you make up a fake excuse of having to use the bathroom. You tell them the flavor you want, make sure Satoru doesn’t do anything weird, and order the flavor with the most sugar (you aren’t 100% sure if you can even eat but it’s worth trying) before you excuse yourself. 

You make your way to the roof, sitting on the edge and looking out into the city. It’s calming. 

You’ve always enjoyed how relaxing it was to be able to see people going about their lives, the soft breeze sounding through your ears accompanied by the smell of ice cream and bread from nearby stores.

It’s nice. 

From the corner of your eye, you spot Suguru and Satoru sitting at an outside table. They were talking amongst each other as they presumably waited for you, an empty spot only held by a cup of ice cream filled with your favorite flavor.

You drop down at the back of the store, brushing the dust off your body and making your way to where Suguru and Satoru are sitting.

“Jeez! Took you long enough.” Satoru rolls his eyes and immediately starts eating his ice cream. 

Suguru rolls his eyes. His posture is the same as always, a man spread and his arms crossed only breaking whenever he needs to eat his ice cream as well. 

Huffing, you kick Satoru underneath the table. Blowing a raspberry before taking a bite of the ice cream.

Good news, you can eat.

Bad news, you don’t taste a single thing.

Well… they don’t need to know that. They’re having fun, your inability to taste shouldn’t spoil that for them.

“Satoru, Yaga’s going to kill us if he finds us, you know?” Suguru huffs, keeping watch as Satoru looks through the yearbook of past students in Jujutsu High.

“Oh, hush!” Satoru kicks him in the knee, gasping when he finds a book tucked away behind several (thankfully sleeping) cursed corpses.

Satoru grins. “Found one.”

Suguru takes one final glance at the hallway before turning to see what Satoru dragged him here for in the dead of night (or early in the morning depending on the way you look at it).

They flip through the yearbook, snickering when they see what Yaga looked like two years ago. His buzz is shorter — if that’s even possible — but he still has his stone-cold resting face.

They make it to the back of the book, where there’s a special section dedicated to students who died before the year is over.

Really, Satoru was looking for what [Name] looked like when he was younger. He’s suspected you were older than the two of them since he never sees you during school.

“Satoru… is– is that…?” Suguru’s voice is weary as his finger points at a photo of some dude he recognizes.

A boy he recognizes.

It’s your picture, you look the same as you do now. “What’s he doing here? We see him all the time– right Suguru?” 

Suguru pales. “Is that why Shoko calls us crazy? [Name] isn’t alive—”

“Yes, he is!” Satoru almost yells. The book drops from his hands with a thump! small colors of blue peeking out from the bottom of his sunglasses.

“We can touch him, we can see him!” Satoru stomps his foot. “How is that possible if he’s dead, huh?!”

“He might be a cursed sp—”

“Then the curse alarm would’ve sounded!” Satoru’s voice sounds like it’s tethering over an edge. He’s confused– he’s known [Name] for as long as his first year, you, him, and Suguru are inseparable so why can Suguru accept the fact that you’re (supposedly) dead?!

“Let’s ask him then, is that okay?” Suguru puts his hand directly on Satoru’s shoulder, moving his thumb slightly for comfort. 

The albino takes a deep breath to calm himself. He shouldn’t be mad at Suguru, he loves Suguru.

So, he does what Suguru says. He lets Suguru lead the way to where they found you the first time. Close to the artifact warehouse but closer to the forest that surrounds Jujutsu High.

You’re there. Sitting on the grass as you stare longingly at a bird.

The sound of rocks crunching under their feet must give them away because in a second you lock eyes with Suguru, a soft smile on your face.

“Suguru!” Your voice is warm– comforting even. “What are you guys doing here? Aren’t you guys breaking curfew?”

“Are you dead?”

Satoru’s blunt question causes your body to freeze. He sounds angry. Maybe it’s because you didn’t tell them that you were a ghost, and they somehow found out themselves.

You weren’t all that popular when you were alive. You were an adequate sorcerer with mediocre abilities. Nothing that puts you out there– not like the two in front of you anyway.

“Y-Yeah?” You avert your eyes sheepishly. “I mean, I died a few years ago so—”

“Why didn’t you tell us anything?” Satoru cuts you off, the hand still holding Suguru’s tightens slightly.

Why didn’t you tell them? Because they’d stop hanging out with you? Were you scared you’d lose the only people who know you’re still technically here?

Because you’re bound to this school and have only ever left because your attachment somehow shifted to Satoru and Suguru.

Ah, that’s why.

You were scared to be left alone. That’s why every time you could, you’d rush over to where they were. Engage in conversation with them, and do mildly illegal things with them because they make you feel wanted.

“I guess… I was scared you two would stop hanging out with me..?” You let out a laugh even though nothing is funny. “You two are the only people who know I still exist, so I thought if you figured out I was a ghost…”

“— that we’d stop talking to you altogether?” Suguru finishes for you and you can’t help but nod.

“That’s stupid! We fight curses, why do you think being a ghost is going to stop anything?!” Satoru grabs you by the shoulder. You’re sure his grip hurts, but you can’t exactly feel pain anymore.

“Yeah, I know…” Your hand touches Satoru’s forearm. “Now that you know… it doesn’t change anything between us… right?”

The longer the silence stretches the more anxiety swallows you whole. If they stop talking to you or start avoiding you, you aren’t sure what you’ll be bound to.

Maybe that spot by the artifact warehouse. You’ll be forced to stay there– alone, with no one to talk to, no one to make you feel alive.

“Of course, not.” Suguru’s voice is warm, it makes something well up in your eyes.

“Sure, it might be weird since sorcerers can’t see you, but you’re our friend. You just have to promise not to keep life-altering secrets from us. Right, Satoru?”

Satoru huffs, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes. “You owe me, stupid ghost boy!”

A smile stretches across your face and you’re unaware of the warmth rolling down your cheeks. “I’m glad.”

You won’t be alone.

You’ll be able to talk to them, now that they know your biggest secret.

You’ll have Satoru and Suguru, and they’ll have you.

Maybe being dead– or being a ghost isn’t so bad after all.

[esoteric-terror]

Moth Flight - Leafpool - Mapleshade

im feral about them. rambling under cut bc i have so many thoughts

i always see moth flight + leafpool and leafpool + mapleshade, but im shocked to not see moth flight + mapleshade more, and of course all 3 together

they have similar situations, and particularly mapleshade and moth flight have. eerily similar traits? prideful, easily jealous, and have strong faith in starclan.

all three lost their kits, whether willingly or not, they were not their to mother their kits. and i imagine neither moth flight nor mapleshade would like that leafpool got it “easy”, both would definitely be in the “leafpool didnt suffer enough actually” camp.

for moth flight she doesnt like seeing others happy when she couldnt, leafpool barely gave up her children, why is she allowed to be content when moth flight didnt even get to see her children constantly?

while mapleshade didnt even get to take care of her children since their lives were taken from her. leafpool basically had it perfect in maples eyes bc at least leafpool lived with her children. (unrelated but my ideal scenario in the last hope, that instead of attacking sandstorm and killing spottedleaf, itd be with leafpool and hollyleaf. i think itd be much more impactful to 1) see maple and leaf interact, and 2) have hollyleaf die for leafpool since she tried to kill her, itd come full circle)

theyre both envious and prideful, both take that anger and jealousy out on others in death (and life for mapleshade), with moth flight attempting to send anyone who breaks her rule to hell and mapleshade attempting to kill or at the very least physically harm those who got what she wanted but didnt get. but leafpool, whos children openly expressed their disdain for her (albeit not for too long), doesnt take out those negative emotions out on others, she doesnt blame squirrelflight for saying that her and bramble werent their real parents, she doesnt blame her children for being mad at her, and i cant imagine that moth flight or mapleshade would do the same. shes still kind regardless

idk. this isnt nearly as coherent as it is in my head but Oh Well

[batboyblog]

2016 is often considered the point when leftism managed to get itself into the mainstream and became more popular, but I honestly can't help but wonder, given the sheer descent into conspiracy theory and selfish cruelty of the current state, whether in hindsight it was actually leftism's step into decline.

I've been thinking about this a lot, sadly I'm getting the start of a Migraine, so the edges of my thoughts are all fuzzy so idk if I'll be able to do what I think justice, but lets try.

The human mind doesn't really like complexity, it'd a pattern recognition machine built to find food and stuff that thinks you're food in the African brush. So we like to find patterns and lump stuff together, its hardwired in.

so "Leftism" I do understand what you mean, but I think it covers a really wide area.

and I think in politics we like to assign ideological and policy logic to things to political movements, it has to be about a coherent and rational ideology and world view we think. But... I think, often times it's emotional as much as anything. Did people vote for JFK or Reagan so much for policy as they, personally in their person, seemed to be the antidote to what was wrong in the moment? JFK seemed young and energetic when compared to an elderly and ill President Eisenhower, Reagan had the claiming aging leading man energy to make everyone feel like it'd be okay, a movie cowboy to lead us against bad guys we didn't understand while nice guy Jimmy Carter seemed stuck.

So back to 2016, I think there was so real ideology to start. The Left of the Democratic Party felt empowered after 2006, the left of the party had been against the Iraq War from the jump and that turned into the organizing issue that pushed Republicans out of power in 2006. A San Fran liberal, founding member of the House Progressive Cause was the first woman Speaker (and in favor of gay marriage too). In 2008 the Left of the party for largely emotional reasons sided with Obama over Clinton, even though they largely overlapped on policy and where there were (minor) differences she was to his left.

so riding high from two back to back wins, having gotten a lot of progressives elected to the House and Senate (like Bernie Sanders) progressive Dems were pretty let down by the real results, the ACA got bogged down and their dearest wish list item, the public option, which Pelosi fought for so hard, failed to make it into the final bill, and then 2010, a blood bath. And understandably there's been some frustration with Obama for not living up to the hype and also failing to really focus on state level races, Democrats got tarred hard

BUT! there's also an emotional side, Occupy Wall Street. I remember at the time being interested in it, I was young and more radical, but soon I got really frustrated because they had no demands, I watched every night MSNBC which was very sympathetic, but no one could articulate what it is they wanted, past a vague idea of "punish" the guilty.

I think there's a lot of restless frustration, some of it grounded and based in reality some of it not, in this country and its only grown over time as well as a contempt for and a break down of any kind of respect for experts and norms any anything established.

SO! I think that emotion latched onto Bernie and the left of the Democratic Party. As someone who worked that election I can tell you, at first knocking doors in New Hampshire, I got the taste of the very start of the campaign. And people would say "oh I'm voting for Bernie now, but I'll vote for Hillary in the general" but soon it went from friendly, from "we're pushing her to the left" to something bitter and angry. I had Bernie supporters tell me 1990s Fox News conspiracy theories around the Clintons, I had a Bernie supporter (in the general election) follow two college girl volunteers for blocks back to our office to SCREAM at us all.

Bernie won the New Hampshire Primary pretty commandingly that year, and partly because he had a strong volunteer network. But in the general despite many efforts we could barely get any of his regular volunteers to come work with us against Trump. I remember one lady who showed up just once and looked RIP SHIT! to be there, I think she said that all the positive stuff we said about Clinton, at a canvass launch for Clinton, made her "sick" and "don't expect me to say anything nice about her!" and she was one of only a tiny number of Bernie people who showed up in the general so she was better than some.

I remember the only Bernie Volunteer we got to become a regular. He'd knocked doors for months in New Hampshire for Bernie, organized his own phone bank into Nevada for their primary, drove down to South Carolina and spent the week before their primary knocking. Clearly a true believer, and when he decided to volunteer with us they kicked him out of the Facebook group he started and stopped speaking to him. I'll always remember what he said, that around the Bernie office they used to say that "a Trump voter was just a Bernie voter who hasn't been educated yet"

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, there were real motivations of the progressives and the left of the party, real policy based frustrations, particularly around how health care worked out, and I think Bernie Sanders himself was running because of that and to express that. But it tapped into something else, something not really political and much more emotional, rage and bitterness and a need to punish, the same energizes Trump taps into. It made a permission to be nasty to people you don't like, particularly women, I won't repeat the things people said on the phones, horrible.

now in 2024, almost 10 years later, there's a lot more depression mixed in, Trump talks about America as a 3rd world country all the time, there's just a vibe of having given up, hopelessness. There's a genocide and everything is horrible and hopeless and give up and die.

I don't believe in giving up, I don't believe in bitterness, I'm not a sunny person in real life, but I believe the point of politics, the politics I'm a part of, is lifting people up. It might be corny and uncool, but I believe in America, not that we're prefect, no, we're not, but together we've done great things, we fought a world war and went to the moon, and we can do great things together still always if we believe in each other, build each other up, stop being so afraid and weak and sad. I want to be beat fascism again, I want to go to the moon again, I want to beat climate change, and finally finally make the promise that all men are created equal REAL, and I don't believe in hiding behind walls, and crying that we can't do it any more, fuck that shit.

[idakyrie]

(This is part of an AU and a LOT OF TEXT asdfg) WHAT IF.... That weird deformed shape of Fake Peppino (AKA Bruno) is actually that way because of a brain problem (known as TBI)? That would explain that peculiar way of behaving (Silly? Goofy? Childish? Doesn't think straight? Doesn't know what he's doing? Almost 0 common sense, that almost permanent expression on his face, that strange way of moving... He is doing his best to stay on his feet and not melt completely (even if it shows a bit), he can barely speak coherently, among many things (WE MUST PROTECT HIM).

I'd like to think that the brain is the only organ he has, because the rest is just... Mmh, slime? amalgam? xD, it could be a HUMAN brain that Pizzahead (his creator) got (I like to think he is actually someone insane in a bad way and too different when it comes to his lab, just pretending to smile, hints of psychopath), that brain belonged to another chef, here I clarify about getting 2 adns: Peppino and Bruno (this last I mean the one from the abandoned pizzeria and yes, he is dead, where the hell Pizzahead was going to get that brain from? Actually dead for trusting a humanoid pizza)

So Fake Peppino has 2 adns? Yeah, that makes sense... Although Peppino and him don't look quite the same (Although Pizzahead's goal was that, to be the perfect impersonator), except for the clothes BUT here comes my favorite part, his stable form. 

Actually, his brain problem can be treated, he would still have 2 forms: stable and unstable, this unstable form is the one we all know, it would be present whenever he feels threatened, in danger or any other negative emotion (although he can take any form whenever he wants and be a mix of both forms).

Some history: Bruno is the first "clone" to be created, it went well, everything was perfect and one more minion... UNTIL... Pizzahead has a complicated, abusive, stupid, manipulative and ignorant attitude, basically he never treated him well, it started with scolding and even abuse (And yup! it was Pizzahead himself who caused him great injury) Why? He is a demanding and perfectionist guy, the clone had to come out EQUAL to Peppino (the irony is that he hates him and only does it to fuck up his life, to be able to replace him with some of the SO MANY clones out there) at the time he thought it was a GOOD IDEA to mix both adns and come out the same as the original, I repeat that this guy is an idiot?

Something funny is that after that he made other prototypes of clones (Classified as second generation idk) but these... None came out well, they are aberrations and can be found in a frozen chamber, he doesn't want to relive that moment and kept trying until he finally succeeded, the famous Peppino clones that can be found everywhere in the lab, inferior versions, weaker and more animal behavior than the first "clone".

Here comes another problem, Pizzahead paid more attention and was nicer to those clones, making Bruno jealous and annoyed, he never received a good treatment from him (Still he was loyal) and he had to fix and clean up all the atrocities the clones did, that means ALL the time, he could not defend himself and lived in silence, developing a great hatred towards them, precisely his behavior changes drastically to the most aggressive, just hearing a "croak" makes him angry (MODO BERSEK GOES BRR)

Many years enduring physical and emotional pain until he ends up in what? In an abandoned pizza restaurant? Just him being abandoned being very bad in all aspects? Completely alone for years, the only contact he had with others were those clones that invaded his "new home" (explaining why there are so many peppino corpses in that pizzeria).

(that girl in the image is an oc of mine hshs)

Bruno still has that silly and innocent personality, sensitive but at the same time disturbing if something bothers him. Paternal sense, playful and a big fan of Peppino, sometimes he annoys him by imitating him HAHA. Does he keep that frog behavior? YES! It's not as obvious as the clones because he knows how to control it. 

At the beginning he doesn't like to be touched, after all the problems he went through he doesn't even know if there are good people in this world, so gaining Bruno's trust is a bit complicated but if you talk nice to him (as you would do with your pet XD) the interaction will be effective. 

Does he have traumas? Besides he doesn't want to see Pizzahead and the clones again, or there will be a massacre, it's the first time someone is nice to him, he's afraid of abandonment and losing the little progress he has made... AND NEVER EVER SEE OR HEAR ANYTHING RELATED TO ANY LABORATORY AGAIN, his life was hell there, anything related either scares or angers him.

If you have any questions, you can ask and also, sorry if there are errors in my English, it is not my native language, I hope you can understand ;w;

[creatively-cosmic]

i wanted to draw something different today soooo. i went n scrounged up a buncha pokepastas that ive read/pokepasta ocs ive seen around recently (mostly via mutuals)! ill tag creators and link sources under the cut, and ramble a little abt my thoughts... ^^

if anyone wants me to untag or remove their stuff from this btw let me know i didnt ask i kinda just. started doodling.

also half of yall i either never followed or only Just did i need 2 remedy that. ive been observing yalls stuff from a distance i keep forgetting to Press the Fucking Button is all

Your Friend Silver (Elias) by @uuberwachen ! this was such an INSANELYYY well written story and it stuck with me for DAYS. it really slots in the space in my mind that holds the classics and the twists and stuff with it genuinely got me. i cant recommend it enough if anyone who sees it hasnt read it yet. i got so excited when i saw a dedicated ask blog went up. i wish i werent scared of sending in questions to those things

Pixel Blue: 3DS VIRTUAL CONSOLE (2016) by @calybunz ! ahhh this was such a cool one to read! id see updates on it incidentally n i can tell a lot of work went into it- it was definitely worth it! its well written with a lot of heart.. maybe im just a sucker for stories that focus on a sympathetic blue.. the ending made me so SAD dude what the fuck. though my favorite parts were probably the dream sequences- godd the imagery of it all was fantastic!

Nuzlight (Mia) at @nuzlight-mia ! this is one i dont know much about yet, but her personality and design really captivated me when i first saw her! she seems like such a sweetheart and i look forward to getting to see more of her :3 i feel so bad for her situation.. the story n concept are all so interesting!

Missing Numbers (Green) at @themissingnumbers ... is our thing but green is hells (@hells1nfern0 ) dude that i have no sway in so. whatever. im unwell about him im excited for more to be revealed abt him :] i cant really say more than that since i know his secrets

FIRE RED FREE DOWNLOAD (Infected/Abandoned RED) by @aibouart ... another one i saw the design of first and was just IMMEDIATELY struck by. i love when stories twist in-universe things that're generally treated as normal and mundane and use its horror potential! a parasect parasite outbreak where the protagonist gets infected by that and ends up full of mushrooms...? thats the kinda shit i love to see >:)

Jack by @sparklingdemon ! cool ass design ive been wanting to draw and a cool concept to go with- the creepyblack protagonist as a grinning-reaper type where the ghost is an extension of him rules. i also loveee when designs utilize the fossil missingno stuff!! kabutops's arms lend themselves REALLY well to being a scythe

Glitchy Red: Retold by @lycankeyy / @glitchyred (idk which blog youd rather have tagged sorry). so i saw this when the official ao3 repost went up or got mentioned or something and it. really. resonated with me. like its hard to put my thoughts into coherent words, other than i had to just. Lay Down for the rest of the night after reading it and just feel whatever emotions struck me. it cut really deep but honestly- that's just fantastic. it's not often that i read something that makes me feel as viscerally as this rewrite did, and i have nothing but adoration for it because of that (we do have the plural bias which doesnt help regarding this lol). in my mind this is the definitive version of glitchy red.

Sanctuary AU (Aster) by @possiblyfunny . ANYWAYS ON A LIGHTER NOTE i fucking love aster more than i can put into words. given we get tagged in almost every piece of him that goes up its always such a delight to see and learn more about him! id been planning to draw him for months at this point but only just got around to it haha -v-" i look forward to seeing more abt the sanctuary au! please continue to tag me in those posts idc if it includes my guys or not i just care so much abt it