#idk if this counts a ex christian

[cobul]

It has been a long time since I posted something personal, but I need to vent a little.

My christian family (mainly father’s sides, him included) KNOWS that I don’t believe in anything, yet given the minimal opportunity, they will try to convince me to “talk with god” just in case I ever miraculously gain faith. They say things like this:

“Oh, cobul, so you are stressed with college exams? why don’t you try talk to god? You will feel release!”

“So you’re worried about [insert ANY topic]? I know you don’t believe in anything but please! Pray for god! Or at least do it for me”

Like, if it was just a few times? No problem, I understand it is their set of beliefs or whatever. But because of the frequency of it happening in this last year, it’s becoming really off putting, honestly. I swear, one of these days I’m going to snap and tell them to fuck off. If they wanted me to believe in god, maybe, just maybe, they shouldn’t have sent me to a laic school where we studied history of religions (a class where we were taught about the biggest religions worldwide in the most aseptic way).

It’s kinda funny, they me gave free will and didn’t make me join a catechism group while I was younger because they thought that I would somehow choose Christianity when I became an adult. These were my fathers words, a few years ago:

“A kid cannot fully understand what a religion is and what it compels, and should not be indoctrinated in one. Believing in god should be a conscious decision, not something coming from a compulsory habit”-.

Taking in account that my father and his siblings were brought up in a traditional christian family, it’s to be expected that they think of Christianity as the default and the best, despite them being more liberal than my grandparents, I think they failed to realize that giving me freedom of choice could also mean that there was a chance of me not becoming christian. That or they overestimated their persuasion or faith power to convert someone. As a more tongue-in-cheek comment, maybe they thought that at least I would believe in something, which would be easier to work with for them, probably.

All in all, at least they’re not TOO homophobic and my father accepts my homosexuality way better than my lack of faith.

Sorry for the long post, I know it’s an oddly specific situation what Im talking about, but thanks for reading, in case this reaches anyone. (Also sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes, I’m not a native speaker, so feel free to correct me).

[rebellum]

The whole transandrophobia discussion thing is weird bc it feels like it's a bunch of poc and jewish trans people being like "here are my experiences of how specifically being MASCULINE had affected me, and the discrimination and violence I experienced based on that. And here is how that relates to me being a racial/ethnic minority"

And then a few loud white trans people going "ohhh you wanna be oppressed so bad you *slur*. This is why there aren't any poc in your movement it's because REAL poc understand intersectionality"

[toashesireturn]

absolutely insane take from the priest this past sunday but apparently he doesn't consider marriages only carried out at the courthouse and not through the church as real marriages so if you got married and didnt get a specifically catholic marriage then having sex is still a sin. absolutely baffling take along with the rest of the purity culture bs he was spouting

[religion-in-humanity]

I am from a very odd religious background. I was raised culturally Christian, in the sense that my family celebrated Christmas and Easter, but my family wasn't religiously Christian in any way.

My mom was neo-pagan (until she became baptist well into my late teens) and my dad is a die-hard atheist; I can count all the times I went to a church on one hand and that was always with extended family (and they were all deeply unpleasant experiences), I never prayed or said grace (I held my cousins' hands awkwardly and stared ahead in silence), and my only religious education was Veggie Tales but I was so disconnected from Christianity that I didn't even realize it was a religious show.

(My great-grandma was sent to a Catholic boarding school as a little NDN girl. I grew up seeing her little figurines of the Virgin Mary and the crucifix hanging above her bedroom door, but she never told me about religion. She didn't raise me, or my brother or cousins or her own children, with the fear of hell that was beaten into her.)

I don't know the things that even other culturally Christian people seem to know about Christianity. I don't know Jesus's apostles, I don't know the story of the last supper, I don't know anything about his crucification or whatever it's called. My knowledge of the Christmas story is based on that one vine ("I brought you myrrh." "Thank you." "Myrrh-der!" "Judas, no!" Idk who Judas is either). I can't tell you what that thing priests stand at is called. I don't know the difference between a priest, a chaplain, and all those other people. I can't recognize biblical references.

Which is a very long way of saying that I don't have the same background that a lot of other converts and potential converts are coming into Judaism with. I don't have the deeply ingrained antisemitism that Christians are raised with; I'm sure I heard some iteration of "Jews killed Jesus" as a child but it never registered to me until I started hanging out with Jewish people. I definitely still hold antisemitic beliefs, because I was raised in a society, but I don't have the black and white thinking that ex-Christians bring to the table, where you're either perfect or damned and there is no in-between.

So it's been odd to me, realizing how many other potential converts don't see Judaism as its own religion and culture but as a saving grace, a way of being redeemed from the sins of Christianity and colonialism and whatever else. And then they're forced to realize that Jews, like everyone else in this world, are human beings who are complicated and messy and often selfish and cruel and all their faith in the ways that Judaism can "save" them is shattered by reality.

I have been over here furiously studying, highlighting half of my books and listening to audiobooks while I do dishes and waiting on a holding list for weeks to check out this one book that several Jewish friends recommended and signing up for all of MJL's email lists and even reading the weekly Torah and Midrash portions and their commentaries even though I have no biblical experience, along with talking to people and asking questions and researching synagogues and making a list of questions for a rabbi. And it is so so clear that these people treating Judaism like their spiritual saviors, literally replacing Jesus in their lives with Jewishness, have no actual attachment to Judaism itself and no interest in it beyond the benefits they think it will give to them. They aren't interested in the religion or the meaning or the history, because if they were, then they'd already know how important Israel is to Jewish communities and how prominent Zionism is in all its forms.

They want the culture and the holidays and the bragging rights without any of the weight and history that makes Judaism what it is. As a Native person, I see that so much in people who are trying to connect to distant Native ancestry or pluck at our cultures for themselves; they want all the fun parts without the work and pain and misery and trauma.

Idk. It's just such a depressing realization. I'm not longer part of any actual convert groups and I'm glad for that because I don't know how I'd react to people just. Discarding all this work and passion and love as if it's nothing.

[cbsxreader]

imagine if Christian with an S/o that was a ex BLU mercenary (prolly doesnt have anything to do with his backstory, or maybe they saw it and cant do anything to stop it?) idk I thought its a funny angs- I MEAN silly idea (I got too silly with ideas)

I'M GONNA HAVE TO SPLIT THIS INTO TWO PARTS BC I GOT CARRIED AWAY AND OVER-EXCEEDED THE CHARACTER LIMIT 😘

Christian with an S/o who is an Ex-BLU mercenary Pt.1 (link to Pt.2 at the end)

*takes in breath*

Cw: Implied torture (not graphic), kidnapping, betrayal, death, coming back to life, revenge, murder, swearing, angst, miscommunication maybe?, comfort at the end

It was already pretty tense around the two of them when they both worked for RED and BLU. Because if anyone found about Sniper's and his S/o's relationship, they both get into massive trouble. Either that, or they get put up against each other like the RED Demoman and BLU Soldier.

But other than that they were great together. Dates had to mostly be out in the wilderness both because Sniper didn't like public spaces and they both didn't want to get caught betraying their teams.

It was one cold New Mexico night when Sniper suddenly found himself unable to move and seeing all dark. When his blindfold was taken off, he saw that was tied up in a chair and surrounded by the BLU team. It didn't take long for them to get straight to the point and not leave him wondering.

They didn't take mercy on Sniper, in just a few minutes they made him cough up blood, apparently because he had simply gotten a lot of kills that day. The hard blows from the BLU team didn't seem to end, it was like each team member went ahead and took a turn at hurting him in the way that would bring him the most pain.

Amidst all the blood and the torture, he saw a familiar figure in the doorway. His eyes slightly widened upon seeing his lover before snapping out of it after another hard blow from their Scout.

Sniper had learned from earlier that screaming won't make things better at all for him, plus he was already too weak to call out or get their attention. Instead he sat in the chair, bleeding and panting, hoping he'll make out of this alive.

He looked at his S/o, trying to figure out why they're here, when you're weak and your eyes haven't been left out of the torture it isn't easy to read a person from afar. But what he could make out was that their spy came up to them, said something and made them leave.

His eyes widened, his only comfort left him to be tortured. Then Sniper became fearful, thinking that he's completely doomed by fate, that there's no one to save him, not even his lover. As he watched his S/o slip away, he pleaded in his mind that they wouldn't leave, but they kept going forward, away from him. Lost in his own thoughts and confusion, he didn't hear the barking orders of the BLU soldier and only snapped out of it when he heard a shotgun getting loaded. But it's too late, loud one bang and he was dead.

After he miraculously comes back to life, he's both confused and revengeful. Confused on why the hell he's alive and suddenly so powerful, revengeful because of his torture and betrayal.

Though it's not too long before he comes back to kill his torturers. With determination, an array of sharp weapons and a cold look, he fearlessly steps into the BLU base.

"I'm gonna get payback, and there won't be any little miracle to bring you back like it did for me..." He whispers to himself.

Oh, the way the BLUs' faces contort into fearful expressions when they see what a monster they had created.

Brutal easily tears the mercenaries' bodies apart. The rush of true bloodshed is like nothing he had ever experienced before. But it feels good. As his heart steadily pumps in his chest, adrenaline rushes everywhere it can. Slowly but surely, the corners of his mouth curve up at this newfound joy.

He counts off the mercenaries in his head, keeping track of who hasn't witnessed what he now could do. One..two..three...

He always ached for the fear in the BLUs' eyes when their weapons didn't work against him or only slightly stopped him before he attacked again. Four...five...six...

As a sniper, he had always been left in the dust, considered weak or a coward for keeping his distance from the heart of battle. Well, not anymore. Seven...eight...nine..

One more...His lover. Ex-lover? He doesn't know, yet.

While he wanders through the base, his S/o runs towards Ms. Pauling who was sent to see what was going on. She wants to investigate but upon hearing what horrors have occurred, both of them speed right back away, leaving the building in the horizon.

It's a few days later when Brutal finally tracks down where Pauling had hidden his S/o. Down underground, behind thick metal doors. His determination to find his S/o makes it easy to get past any obstacles. He looks all around, quietly searching the place and keeping his ears perked up for anything.

But all it takes is for a stray bullet to be accidentally dropped on the cold floor to let him know where to go. His head snaps in the direction of the sound and then he takes off, his footsteps echoing through the big building.

Meanwhile, his S/o is trying to keep their composure, but how can they when something tore through their entire team and now they have to face it alone. They had run after a weapon once they heard doors being ripped open, knowing it's the thing that killed their team.

They think of running away but they realize that they've already been found thanks to a slight clumsy move. They could only await the danger that's coming for them. Whatever it was.

Their eyes widen when they saw what looked like a sniper in dark clothing with nightmarish red eyes. But, their sniper was killed...it can't be...

They don't have much time to think before he charges at them. He easily gets them in his grasp and disarms them. With confusion and fear in their eyes, they can only look at the killer that massacred their colleagues as he pins them to the wall.

PART TWO HERE

[doberbutts]

I hope you don't mind me speaking about the "Christian Atheists" comment, as someone who follows several of the people who've been hounded by this discourse.

The reason that term got used in the first place was meant as shorthand for atheists who have a more Christian framework for atheism because those specific types of atheists were harassing Jewish atheists and saying that the Jewish framework for atheism - which is different than the general Christian cultural idea of atheism where it is perfectly secular - doesn't count and that they were still religiously Jewish if they didn't renounce their cultural practices and switch to "secular" holidays like Christmas/stop going to synagogue for community-building reasons. And while the term itself isn't great and I'm not excusing that and any hurt, I think it got taken entirely out of context. It was being used to point out that 1. Jewish atheism is not the same type of atheism as that of ex-Christians because of how Judaism as a religion and culture functions and 2. to point out the hypocrisy the atheists harassing Jewish people on here were showing by saying that only their version of atheism was true atheism.

Essentially, they were being told they were the ones who were secretly still religious and were trying to point out by using the term how unfair that would be to say of them as well as how that feels like an aspect of Christian universalism holding over, "You need to assimilate and THEN you can be a secular atheist like me."

Idk. It just got out of hand when people started losing the context that this discourse only blew up so badly because ex-Christian atheists were using their religious trauma to harass Jews trying to talk about a broader social issue and wouldn't take "this isn't about you specifically and if the conversation upsets you you don't have to participate" as an answer.

Christian Atheist comment anon again. I also just would like to point out that everyone I've seen use the term or anything similar (that wasn't just being an asshole because I did see some of that as well) has explicitly said, multiple times that they do not think that ex-Christian atheists are still functionally Christian, cannot get rid of that aspect of themselves, etc. Like, I've seen them have to say over and over and over again that they do not think that and it's repeatedly been the pissed off atheists (specifically the ones denying the existence of cultural Christianity at all) putting those words in their mouths and they've been having to beg to be heard when they say that's not what culturally Christian means nor what it means to have an ex-Christian framework of atheism. Just that being ex-Christian creates a different kind of atheism than Jewish atheism because of how Christianity views culture and "Christian Atheism" turned into an unfortunate shorthand because of how often they were having to explain this.

Unfortunately I believe it's escaped containment, because while I have seen this being used this way, I've also seen it being used in the way I just described as well.

As said, I have seen the bad behavior of athiests (usually formerly Christian or raised in Christian families) harassing people of other religions than Christianity due to their own religious trauma stemming directly from the Christian church. And I think it's wrong, to be clear. Religion and culture are closely intertwined and not only do I think it's wrong to say "believing in religion is morally wrong" but I think it's ridiculous to close your understanding of religion to just how Christianity does it, because Christianity itself is a huge spectrum from "goes to church on Sunday and prays before meals" to "electricity is the devil and thomas edison was a witch" and "wouldn't be able to pick them out of a crowd of people" to "strict dress code which must be adhered to at all times Or You Are A Filthy Slut"

Often this narrow understanding of the world's religions comes directly from a rejection of the dominant religion in this country (ie, Christianity) and because that's many people's only exposure to organized religion you'll often get statements like "personal religion is fine but organized religion is always bad" and "religious leaders are always corrupt and pull strings behind the scenes and secretly run the world" which has some uhhhhhhhh really not so great implications when they're applied to more than "I'm angry that Christianity has done what it has to the world as a whole".

Unfortunately the post that pissed me off was one that used the term in a completely different manner, talking about how "non-practicing Christians aka Christian Athiests are still Christian at heart" because that's how it works for other religions (non-practicing Jewish people are still Jewish, etc) and how saying otherwise misunderstands the way that culture and religion hooks together. But that statement in and of itself misunderstands Christianity, because "Christian" isn't an ethnicity and while some things can be called "Christian culture" on a broad scale, again because "Christian culture" can vary so widely it becomes a question of just how non-practicing does one need to be before they're allowed to say they're no longer Christian at all? Do they need to not have been born in a Christian-dominant country? Do they need to have been born to non-Christian parents? How many generations away from Christian parentage are we considering far enough from "non-practicing Christian athiests" before they lose the "Christian" label?

So again I ask, with that logic, doesn't that make everyone who lives in a country that has government mandated Christian holidays and expectations to have Sundays off and legislature that's tied very closely to Christian interpretation and has words like "Jeez" and "Goodbye" and "BC vs AD" and the Gregorian calendar "culturally Christian"... or is this something that's only being applied to athiests and ex-Christians who haven't yet converted to a religion that Christianity is actively antagonistic towards? Would you call my friends Christian Jewish, Christian Muslim, Christian Pagan for practicing the Christian culture of enjoying their Sundays off, giving gifts on Christmas, and telling me "goodbye" when we part? If not, then why are we surprised that athiests, especially ex-Christian athiests, don't love the implications of the label when it's being used this way?

And, if the answer is yes, then understand that by definition you're grouping people who have deep, generational religious trauma (the indigenous and black populations I previously mentioned) with the very people who used the religion that traumatized them as an attempt to commit genocide.

[ardent-apostasy]

liar, greedy pig, atheist, secularist, potty mouth, lgbt supporter, contentious woman, self-lover ✌

Tag yourself, I’m the atheist, secularist, potty mouth

[whitesilverandmercury]

ff7 / chronology project

nzivvo timeline theories / part 1 & part 2 sleepezi comprehensive compilation deep dive

hello i am a slut for chronology projects and timelines, this is nothing compared to the comprehensive greek myth family tree project i’ve been neglecting building 

timeline key / HUGE shoutout to the editors of the ff7 fandom wiki and their timeline(s), massively helpful -- backbone of this chronology version is a cross-reference between dated events in before crisis and crisis core: reunion

dates / ff7 compilation records 12-month calendar years in the format [era] - εγλ [year number] with calendar time measured in two-millennia eras; the years of which count upwards and end at 2000, at which point the following year begins the next era at 0001 -- for example, Zack is born [ μ ] - εγλ 1984, and Angeal dies [ ν ] - εγλ 0001

eras [ μ ] and [ ν ] = loosely, [ μ ] is the 2,000-year era preceding the Wutai War -- Jenova crash lands on Gaia at the start of this era and Zack, Aerith, and Cloud are all born at the end of this era; [ ν ] is the era in which most of playable ff7 compilation takes place, beginning shortly after the Wutai War

εγλ = for whatever reason part of the dating system, preceding the era year when writing the date; some fan theories interpret it as an abbreviation meaning “that which tells of this era of Gaia,” similar to the Christian “in the year of our Lord,” by analyzing the Greek letters that are used and suggesting that: ε could stand for εποχή (epoch, age, era), γ for Γαῖα (Gaia), λ for λέγω (verb, to tell a story) 

FF7 TIMELINE / ongoing; as organized for fic (a)chronology of now

(going to eventually link little headcanon vignettes to various events along the timeline!)

canon = plain  headcanon = italics

[ μ ] - εγλ 2000 (Wutai War ongoing) 

january 

Zack promoted to Second Class 

february

Aerith turns 15

late spring

Cloud leaves Nibelheim for Shinra recruitment in Midgar, fails basic screening for early SOLDIER program enrollment and is instead enlisted into the infantry (Public Security Division)

note / it’s a real struggle to pin down exactly what time of year Cloud leaves Nibelheim for Midgar, so after cross referencing a bunch of material, entries, timelines, canon events, etc. i’ve made the tweak here to shift it back a year from canon, ex. i find it hard to believe Cloud is assigned guard duty for a scientist carrying massive classified SOLDIER intel (before crisis: June [ ν ] - γ 0001) potentially only weeks after joining Shinra

august 

Cloud turns 14

september

Zack turns 16

note / idk, this astrology feels good in the fan theories re: his birthday in September or October

Angeal, assisted by Zack, delivers a presentation on the SOLDIER program for new infantry upon completion of boot camp

fic vignette / Cloud is in awe of Zack Fair at the SOLDIER recruitment presentation 

october

Rumors spinning about First Class SOLDIER Genesis deserting in Wutai, along with large numbers of Second and Third Class SOLDIERs

Hollander absconds with classified Science Division information 

november

Zack dispatched to Wutai / Fort Tamblin with Angeal, stepping up to fill Genesis’ absence, where Angeal abandons Zack and Shinra to join Genesis

december

Zack accompanies Tseng to Banora Village to investigate Genesis’ disappearance, where they encounter both Angeal and Genesis

Banora Village is destroyed in an aerial raid by Shinra, wiping out and covering up Genesis’ base and operations

Rufus Shinra becomes Vice President, then goes on long-term business trip

[ ν ] - γ 0001

february 

Wutai War ends, and Avalanche forms in Cosmo Canyon

Aerith turns 16

Mako production does not return to prewar levels, instead intensifying in some ways

Avalanche attempts to detonate Reactor 8 and assassinate President Shinra, but they are stopped by Sephiroth and the Turks 

march

Public-facing information released saying First Class SOLDIERs Angeal and Genesis were killed in action

april

Zack promoted to First Class; Zack and Sephiroth defend Midgar from Genesis and his army, then head to find Angeal (and Hollander) at Mako Reactor 5

Zack and Aerith meet when Zack falls through the Sector 5 church roof, having been knocked down by Angeal from Mako Reactor 5; their meeting is interrupted when Zack is called back to the Shinra Building, where Genesis Copies are after Hojo

may

Shinra is getting a bit desperate with building SOLDIER ranks, and begin kidnapping to recruit 

june

fic vignette / the first time Zack calls Aerith “Sunshine”

Cloud is assigned to a squad escorting Professor Rayleigh, a scientist transporting classified data on the SOLDIER program, as are the Turks; they’re jumped by Fuhito’s Avalanche, and the data is inevitably stolen

note / because of Cloud’s involvement with this event, as well as his surprising performance therein, and Shinra’s anxieties over building SOLDIER ranks, his SOLDIER application is pulled from the pool / bumped to the top for review

july

fic vignette / Zack and Aerith at Evergreen Park

Cloud is notified his eligibility for SOLDIER has been reconsidered and 6-month preliminary evaluations will commence immediately

notes / imagined SOLDIER program: details here

august

fic vignette / Zack and Aerith’s first kiss

Cloud turns 15

beginning / september 

Zack and Cloud meet on the Modeoheim mission, overseen by Tseng; they discover Genesis Copies, Genesis, and Hollander; Angeal arrives on scene, intervening; Genesis falls into the Lifestream and Zack kills Angeal, inheriting the Buster Sword; Hollander is detained and taken to Junon

fic vignette / Zack asks Cloud if he wants to be friends 

Zack gives himself a mourning scar

Tseng tasks himself with ensuring Zack and Cloud work together as much as possible 

mid / september

Cloud and Aerith meet when Zack sends him to deliver some things to her

Zack turns 17

november

Zack mentoring Cloud during his SOLDIER preliminary evaluations

fic vignette / Zack and Cloud and marksman practice 

[ ν ] - γ 0002

january

Shinra State of the Company event

fic vignette / the trio hooks up for the first time, part two

mid / january

Zack deployed with Tseng to a protest at ammunition factory not far from Rocket Town, Cloud and Dockitt accompany

Tseng returns to Midgar for emergency meeting; Turks send an operative to Icicle Lodge to support Second Class SOLDIERs Essai and Sebastian, finding Fuhito’s Avalanche base

Zack and Cloud are sent straight from outpost to Icicle Lodge, to help locate the missing SOLDIERs; Zack and Turk discover Fuhito’s experiments, including Essai and Sebastian, who are beyond saving and die in Zack’s arms; before the base detonates, Zack fights and kills Kyneugh, one of Fuhito’s Ravens 

end / january

Cloud starts SOLDIER preconditioning phase I (weekly mako test injections) 

february

Veld (Director of the Turks) is fired and replaced by Heidegger (Director of Public Safety), who sends the military instead of Turks when Avalanche attacks Junon

Aerith turns 17

Shinra holds a philanthropic gala to save face / rally support following the Avalanche attack on Junon 

march

Cloud starts SOLDIER preconditioning phase II early (biweekly mako infusion) due to Shinra’s anxieties over SOLDIER ranks 

april

Cloud discharged from SOLDIER program after second infusion causes reactive toxicity; behind the scenes, Tseng ensures he is not cast off to the streets or Science Department

june

Lazard deserts Shinra, expecting a whistleblower on his embezzling support for Hollander’s essentially anti-Shinra research 

Zack sent on mandatory vacation, which is interrupted by Genesis copies; Zack sent to Junon from Costa del Sol, Cloud sent to Junon from Midgar, as Junon is under attack by Genesis copies helping Hollander escape; Sephiroth dismisses Zack from the fray, sends him home to protect Aerith from mounting monster attacks in Midgar

july

Lazard and Hollander are reported as killed in action

Genesis’ army begins to attack mako reactors around the world

note / this means more frequent and/or more intensive assignments for Zack and Cloud, but not always together; meanwhile, Fuhito and Elfe’s Avalanche is getting more and more pushy in their strategies 

august 

Fuhito and Elfe’s Avalanche try to kidnap Aerith before Shinra can get ahold of her again; a passing Turk protects her

Cloud turns 16

early / september

Zack and Aerith build a flower cart

mid / september

Zack turns 18

Sharp spike in monster sightings / attacks in Nibelheim area

end / september

Cloud accompanies Sephiroth and Zack to investigate the Nibel Reactor, during which Sephiroth discovers the makonoids, Jenova, etc. 

october

Nibelheim incident: Sephiroth razes Nibelheim to the ground, Tifa is mortally wounded, Zack incapacitated, Sephiroth stabs Cloud and Cloud throws him into the open Lifestream reactor channels 

Hojo takes custody of Zack and Cloud, Zangan saves Tifa

this timeline / chronology is ongoing and will be updated occasionally. 

[remtheenlightenedone]

Hashtags imma use from now on....

So idk if this is a thing, but I made a few hashtags for my post to specify it's my post. Just bored and wanted something to list too. Alright:

#just thoughts / #rem's thoughts = my two cents, comments, opinions, on a specific topic

#mental wellness / #rem's mental wellness = mental health related stuff in general. Sometimes I might not tag as such.

#no offense = in regards to jokes that are sarcastic, crude, or just a tidbit out of pocket. Usually just an autistic thing.

#bruh = "I can't believe you posted this" / "did they really say or do that?" (Not op, the person they mentioned) / funny and/or random post. Not a bad thing.

#no sleep / #2 am thoughts = comments passed bed curfew or midnight

#quotes = shared or reblogged quotes

#inspirational / #motivational = quotes, stories, poems, etc that are meant to inspire and encourage positive outlook on life

#rem's vegeta f/o = regarding "my" Vegeta. Not anyone else that shares him.

#positivity = general positive post

#f/o positivity / #fictosexual / #proselfship positivity / #proself-ship community / #f/o community = I am neither on any side but the proship community in general has always been chill so I made these tags in case. But it's in regards to f/o or fictosexuality in general. I don't pick sides. I refuse to.

#rem's philosophy / #philosopy = covers theism, agnosticism, and philosophies I share that consist of stoicism, minimalism, Buddhism, and daoism. Some might be christian based but dw I'm not a Christianity zealot. I follow God for how I believe God to be.

#rem's (insert mental disability/illness here) = anything related to Autism/Asperger's/Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD or with both just AuADHD. Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Atypical Depression, or any other thing I haven't listed.

#rem's manic panic! = If im self aware enough, I will tag this. Usually I tend to make longer post or can't articulate myself in less word counts so I go on long tangents. It's usually caused by hyperactivity or mania.

#err of caution on rem = rem's not themselves, possibly paranoid, and needs help. Give them a hug and some treats and comment positive things. They will thank you. Also a tag to indicate that I'm not myself. May not be mentioned during times of distress or illness.

#rem the poet = poems made by rem. They're not the best but they're fun to write.

# rem the burned out artist = artwork that is either finished, wip, detailed, simple, etc and consist of watercolor, acrylic, graphite, or digital drawings on ibis paint. Hardly post though

#rem loves it = when a like on a post isn't enough to show appreciation for it and op

#🙏🏽❤️ = your post has been praised / appraisal

#❤️ = shorthand for rem loves it

#rem rebukes = for negative post that has negative speech, words, phrases, etc. Or tells someone to unalive (ex. kys)

If rem thinks it speaks from a dark place, rem rebukes it. Also to rebuke on their own post that speaks of toxic or negative people.

#rem thinks this is positive 👍🏽 = self explanatory

#rem's positivity bookmark / #positivity vibes #positive thoughts / #positive = for positive post, quotes, etc.

#rem likes pokemon / #rem's pokemon= pokemon related stuff

#this is why rem likes atla/tlok = for topics relating to atla/tlok or any zutara content

If I think of any more id definitely post them in an update ✌🏽

[whatqueen-wildcats]

Answer the evens for the music ask 🤪

Here u go finally hahaha

2: A song you like with a number in the title

6/10 - dodie

4: A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about

Sweater weather - the neighborhood

6: A song that makes you want to dance

Beyoncé RENAISSANCE, just all of it lol listened to it a lot this past summer

8: A song about drugs or alcohol

Idk uhh Juice - Lizzo also a very dance-able choice

10: A song that makes you sad

Wolves - Jensen McRae

Don't think I've ever heard this song without crying

12: A song from your preteen years

Stars - Switchfoot (any early sf qualifies tbh, but got to dance and scream to this one live last year with a couple of fellow ex-youth group queers in one of the weirdest and most healing concert experiences I've had yet lmao)

14: A song that you would love played at your wedding

I Wanna Dance with Somebody - Whitney Houston haha every time I hear this song I just picture the reception dancing and singing along with a room full of people I love and my brand new spouse and it being such a moment of joy

I don't have super significant ones I want for ceremony or first dance or whatever cause i feel that's very dependent on the relationship, but this tune is a Must at some point on the dance floor

16: One of your favorite classical songs

Mmmm idk which individual piece would be my fave but i do love to listen to Chopin (To be a bit pedantic, he's a Romantic period composer, not properly Classical period, but in the Colloquial Sense of Classical it counts 🤣)

18: A song from the year that you were born

*hastily googles songs released in 1994*

Basket Case - Green Day

Very strong memories of hearing it for the first time about 10 years after its release from my cousins shiny new mp3 player and being SUPER jealous

20: A song that has many meanings to you

Twenties - Semler

Always a bit of a mindfuck to listen to honestly -- lmao press X to skip this monolog but please do listen to the song, it's excellent.

cause I so easily could have (and indeed for most of my life thought I was going to) follow the path of the ex-friend in the song, the good Christian girl just looking for any nice guy to settle down with and meet all those traditional expectations... it's what I thought I wanted. I'm sure if the first boy I wound up dating had actually been a good person and didn't fully shatter my entire already-fragile sense of self, I would've stayed on that path for decades and a couple of kids before even getting close to figuring out why I was so miserable. It's all I knew. And I think of all the people I know who did take that path, the friends i grew up with and no longer speak to... the repetition of the line "how long will you live until your life is your own?" I think of my mother and grandmothers. I hope they're all happier than I would have been had I stayed. I think of all the ways I still people please, and think with gratitude for all the ways I no longer do. I could go on but I won't lol.

22: A song that moves you forward

Idk what exactly this is even supposed to mean? Like, motivates me? Gives me hope? Who knows but youre getting

City - Thao & The Get Down Stay Down

24: A song by a band you wish were still together

tbh I can't think of one? I'm sure there are some, but several that I would've said a few years ago have either come back already or I no longer care for them lol. And of course there's plenty of Before My Time bands that would've been cool to be around for but feel like that's not the point of this question.

Idk, what keeps coming to mind is Foo Fighters - they aren't actually broken up but Taylor Hawkins, their drummer, passed suddenly last year. For the song I'll pick "But, Honestly"

26: A song that makes you want to fall in love

So maaannyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ughgh

If We Were Vampires - Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit

Makes me absolutely SICK that I haven't met the love of my life yet and every day that passes is one less that I get to spend with them in this mortal existence 😫

Addendum: I've taken so long to finish answering these that I've found a new answer in the meantime that I'd like to share, Kevin Atwater, several of his songs apply, but going with My Blood is Your Blood *foaming at the mouth*

28: A song by an artist with a voice that you love

Probably the best and most ENCHANTING voice I've had the joy of getting to hear live so far in my life is Florence Welch of F+TM, I'll pick the song Cassandra

30: A song that reminds you of yourself

Okay this would be SO EASY but i really don't wanna pick a sad or self-deprecating song. Those have their time and place but I'm practicing them not being my default lol.

Gonna answer with one that, maybe doesn't exactly *remind* me of myself? but helps me embrace myself: Hit or Miss - Odetta

Thank you, as always, for facilitating my long-winded nonsense! 💖

[rennisaturate]

open to: anyone relationship: friends, dating, exes, have fun !! ✨🎵✨ jenny's new, christian's younger sister, undergrad, aspiring pianist (this might change tho idk), good friends with sammy and jordan, hmu if u wanna know anything more abt her ✨

" you know, you almost convinced me you were gonna stick around, but everybody knows almost doesn't count, "

[khodorkovskaya]

I completely agree with what yoire saying about him, it's just that hes cute and seems really nice, but I barely know him tbf so I should just let go and move on

But part of me Hope's it will get better and progress into something

And honestly, that's the part I hate about myself the most because i end up destroying myself in the process and i KNOW I'm doing it but i dont hold back???? Like???? Do i like to feel misery and unwanted???? No, yet I seem to drawn myself into it????

Why????? 😥 like what's wrong with me lmao 😅

i think we all have that little voice in our head that wants to feel miserable and unwanted...? or maybe it's just some people idk

but there's something so comforting about being sad and in love. maybe it's because it strips you of responsibility and you just passively go through with whatever's happening to you. like it's horrible for sure, but there's a part of it that's kinda satisfying. like the melodramatic sigh of "oh well, i guess i'll suffer, this is my destiny". i used to live for this shit when i was with my ex! and not to be all christian, but suffering really does give you purpose and makes your life appear more meaningful. here's a great video essay about it btw, it really makes you think.

and the thing you say about hope too is very interesting. there's a saying that "hope dies last" and it really does. i feel like when i was with my ex i was addicted to hope. it was always like "i just need to make it through this week and then it'll get better" or "i just have to wait until the summer/x date/x event and then it'll get better". it was just this never ending cycle of waiting and hoping that things would change. and this cycle lasted FIVE YEARS! FIVE YEARS!!!

no but literally, i remember the start of the relationship was quite painful so id be like "okay i just have to wait a little more until we get to know each other better", then the first year in it was the constant waiting for him finishing his studies and getting his career together, then i had convinced myself that once i start uni it will get better, then i waited for us to move in together... not counting all the numerous times id tell myself to wait for things like exams to be over or for the next season to start or for us to go on holiday or whatever other stupid deadline id come up with for myself. and the worst thing was that my ex was a failed self-proclaimed entrepreneur who clang on to his absolutely ridiculous business idea he had for all those 5 years. and every time he would be like "i just need to wait to finish this paperwork", "i just need to wait until i can refurnish my office", "i just need to get my first couple of clients and then things will take off", "wait a little more, you'll see that next year i'll be a millionaire". and of course his business never took off because he's a terrible businessman! but id always listen to him and give him a pass! every. single. time.

so spoiler alert: it doesn't get better. so don't start hoping if the guy is full of red flags from the start. the red flags aren't gonna go away, you can't wait them out.

and if you feel this longing for sadness and misery, just listen to lana del rey, eat a tub of ice cream and move on. but please don't ruin your life because of it.

[ameliagiovanna0]

10-20 :)

I wasn't sure if you meant 10 thru 20 or 10 and 20, so I just did all ten lol

10. I met a dog named Cobweb, and I absolutely loved that

11. I can turn my tongue on its side

12. Our CEO got arrested for tax fraud. I also had to report a guy for threatening to kill his ex-girlfriend. I had to talk to the teacher, the principal called my parents to thank me and let them know that the state police might be calling. That was fun. We also have a famous country singer alumni. Idk if that counts as gossip, but there ya go 😅

13. Nope

14. I'm not a huge coffee person, but maybe an iced mocha or a French vanilla cappuccino

15. People always want to know how old I am. From the time I was 10, I've literally had people come up and just ask me. When I was younger, people thought I was younger than my actual age because of how tiny I was. But then, I started getting drink menus at restaurants when I was 13. People, especially now that I'm in college, always assume I'm older

16. Oooo, this has been rolling around my brain for a while, tbh. I think it might have to be something for my late grandma. Out of all of us grandkids, everyone says that I'm the most like her. I even picked up some of her mannerisms by the time I was 2. It freaked everyone out because we lived so far away that I didn't get to see her very often, and I still managed to do the same things she did. Even though, she died when I was 8, I've always felt super close to her. Plus, my cousins said that my cookies are the closest to hers, which makes me all warm and fuzzy. Her name started with an E, so I think I'd get a letter E Maybe on the inside or side of my wrist

17. Yeah! by Usher, Lil Jon, and Ludacris. I'm not mad about this result 😂

18. I usually don't say that I have a favorite musician. I tend to just like whatever sounds good for the moment. But I think I'd have to go with for KING & COUNTRY. They're contemporary Christian. I've been to three of their concerts, and it was amazing. They're amazing performers. They have a song called Priceless. It's about how women are treated like objects and that, despite what we might be told, we're priceless.

I see you dressed in white

Every wrong made right

I see a rose in bloom

At the sight of you (oh, so priceless)

Irreplaceable, unmistakable, incomparable, darling, it's beautiful

I see it all in you (oh, so priceless)

The song goes along with the movie and book of the same name. They revolve around a man that finds out he's hauling human trafficking victims and ends up protecting them.

I also absolutely love their song God Only Knows. Bonus points for the version they did with Dolly Parton. HIGHLY recommend both songs, and for KING & COUNTRY all together, even if you don't like Christian music. Because I usually don't, but they're top notch

19. Mr. V! He was my 7th and 8th grade social studies teacher. I'll never forget him. I loved social studies anyway, but he made everything so much fun. He was kind and really cared about all of us. He actually sent me and my best friend, who was also in his class, cards when we graduated.

20. Chaotic, multi-fandom, disorganized, happy place

[eldritchgray]

So I just burned my old bible in a ceramic flower pot, and honestly? It felt great. I should destroy more religious shit  

[transrevolutions]

when I was seven years old I remember camping.

no, not camping specifically, I guess. I have fuzzy memories of camping, but what I have a crystal-clear memory of was right before. about a week, to be exact.

I can remember the exact peachy-orange color of my shirt, the way the heat rose off the pavement, my pink-and-green fleece tied around my waist. but what I remember the most clearly was thinking to myself:

“god please don’t come to end the world until I can go camping”

you see, when I was young, they always talked about god ending the world. someday. sometimes, an ominous ‘someday soon’. I was seven and I was young and little and naïve, of course I thought it meant literally.

“god please don’t come to end the world until I can go camping”

I wanted to go camping. I wanted to get to do that, and each day I begged god to wait until I could go camping. because I didn’t know if ‘someday soon’ meant tomorrow or next week or even next year or when I was fifty or a hundred or dead for a thousand years.

“god please don’t come to end the world until I can go camping”

I was a puppet on a string. tied to a maybe-truth that I never understood and nobody bothered to explain. I was a seven year old girl with scabbed knees and hair in a ponytail and a gap between my front teeth begging an all-powerful omnipotent god not to end the world until I could go camping.

“god please don’t come to end the world until I can go camping”

if I had asked my mother, she’d have said that god probably wouldn’t be ending the world before I could go camping, but if he did, then it was for the best, but I’d never understand because I was like an ant compared to god. maybe I would have believed her. after all, I was only seven. still a kid, still fixated on simple things, simple wishes. just to go camping with my cousins and roast s’mores and swim in the mountain lake.

“god please don’t come to end the world until I can go camping”

how long did I spend begging god? and how did decency become mercy in the eyes of so many? how much of my mind today carries the scar tissue from the seven-year old me trembling and scared that god would end the world before I could go camping?

if I could speak to myself as a seven-year-old, I’d tell her that she shouldn’t beg, that she is strong, that she is not an ant, she is a human. I’d tell her that she owes god nothing and that she is so, so much more than just a pawn. I’d tell her that she can go camping, and god will not end the world, because I won’t let him.

of course, if I told her that, seven-year-old me with her barrettes and hot pink sneakers and tie-dye tank tops, she would assume it was a demon coming to turn her away from god, and run into the house and cry.

“god please don’t come to end the world until I can go camping”

[demonicintegrity]

Honestly? I wasn’t a Lil Nas X stan or anything and I still won’t consider myself that because I’m not overly into his stuff.

But this? Montero? Important. Or at least, the reaction to it is very important to note. Y’see Nas isn’t the first one use satanic or other occult imagery. Hell he isn’t even the first mainstream one to use it (if you count P!atd Emperors new clothes. Mainstream and religious themes, tho it wasn’t up to this level I think.) but he is the first mainstream one to use it in reference to his sexuality and completely reclaim it. Again, not the first one, but the first mainstream one. And that’s important. Whether you care for the mainstream or not, you can’t deny the reach and influence they have.

(I think) what conservative Christians’ biggest problem with is that the video showed him going “fuck it” and went to hell and wasn’t afraid of it. After all, if Heaven wasn’t going to accept him for who he is, he doesn’t want that then.

The key thing is not being afraid of hell and rejecting Heaven altogether. These two are antithetical to the entire Christian doctrine. You must desire Heaven and God’s favor and you must fear The Devil and Hell. If you don’t do that, the rest starts to fall apart, maybe. When Christians butt heads with others, they often get most bothered when the other person states they don’t want God or Heaven and what not. A very “how dare you not want what i want” sorta thing.

And idk if Lil Nas X is Christian or not, but this is how he chose to reframe the religious themes for his story. But there are ex-christians, both atheistic and theistic, who have had this same line of thought. If God/Heaven/The Church won’t accept this about me, then I don’t want it. Hell, I think part of the revival of witchcraft and rise of neopaganism and satanists in the past decade comes from people rejecting the church. People, who more often than not, were harmed by the church.

idk idk. Yes this music is important for the gays reclaiming the doctrine that has harmed them. This probably means the world for some queer folk. But for me, this is an indicator of something I was wondering about for a while. I think this is another sign that there’s about to be a major shift in how religion is going to be perceived and interacted with, at least in the western world at least.