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serene-victory-77 · 3 years

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Autistic Kaz Thoughts

TL;DR at the end because this is really long again

So, obviously Kaz is neurodivergent, that comes from the affects of his trauma, but it seems myself and many others have sen a strong basis for Autistic Kaz specifically, and I thought I’d like to explore that.

Some other people have talked about this but I wanted to put in my two cents

Disclaimer: A LOT of things about Kaz’s behavior line up with the effects of his trauma. My response to that is that Kaz can be autistic and traumatized at the same time. Things That Make Sense In Canon (It’s Basically Everything):

Hyperfixation:

- Magic tricks (sitting in front of a mirror for hours practicing and trying to figure them out)

- Staying awake for hours wondering how things work

- He hyperfixates on every single job to hell and back, and he enjoys figuring out every angle

Special Interests:

- Goes hand in hand with above, but magic tricks and sleight of hand are definitely his special interests

- Lock picking might also count, and card games? He seems to like all of it. Robbing...?

- Being a criminal is Kaz’s special interest. Sounds ridiculous but think about it. It helps that it keeps him alive, but he does actively enjoy it

Sensory Issues:

- A lot of this is related to his trauma but again, he can be both autistic and traumatized *shrug*

- Regardless of the Reaper’s Barge, touch aversion could be another trait. Having gloves and clothing that covers can be a good buffer from sensations he dislikes.

- He dislikes crowds/crowded because of the higher probability of touch/the Reaper’s Barge, but you can also tie that back to autism since many many don’t like being in crowds

- He likes silence (talks about sewing people’s mouths shut). He’s used to Barrel noises, but he might not like voices stacked on top of each other. Auditory sensibility is really varied, and sometimes noises are fine/sometimes they’re torture

Behavioral:

- Again, so much of this is related to his trauma, but REGARDLESS!

- Dramatic af in the books, but both he and Inej say he’s quiet and reserved. Good with words and doesn’t seem to mind talking, but he really only talks about his hyperfixations:

- The exceptions make up almost all of the books, which is why he might come off as talkative, but he’s usually talking about a plan, having solved something/tricked someone (think conversations with Van Eck, Rollins), so of course he wants to talk. The other big exception is when he talks to Inej.

- Kaz is good at reading people, but there’s a lot to disprove that all autsitic people are bad at reading others. Many actually “over-read” and notice a lot/see things others don’t pick up on. Doesn’t make someone more socially competent (just because you know what’s happening doesn’t mean you know what to do about it). I don’t think it disqualifies him from being autistic

- Kaz is incredibly mentally organized, so over-reading people is actually helpful for him.

- With stimming, he’s amuses himself with cards, magic tricks, playing with coins and lock picks. It happens enough times to be a “thing” in the books. Sleight of hand can count as stimming.

Mental Capabilities:

- Autism doesn’t equal genius, but many autistic kids are also prodigies, and with Kaz I think it applies.

- Autism and really good memory aren’t uncommon, and it tracks with this from Kaz:

- “Once he learned a game, it took him mere hours to master it, and then he simply couldn’t be beaten. He could remember every hand that had been played, each bet that was made. He could keep track of the deal for up to five decks.”

- He can also do complex mental math, which can also apply to this if you want it to

Other Things That Don’t Technically Mean He’s Autistic But For Some Reason Feel Autistic To Me:

- Autistic people can wear whatever they want, but for whatever reason Kaz’s wardrobe, regardless of mocking Mercher’s, seems like it could be a product of Kaz’s specific brand of autism

- Birds of a feather flock together, all his friends are neurodivergent

- The crow motif. Neurodivergent people seems to really like corvids? Also many have animals that are just “their thing” so yeah, crows

There’s probably other stuff but I’m currently forgetting it all

Exploring This In Fics/Headcanons!:

- People can write Autistic Kaz however they want, but here are my personal thoughts:

- I noticed I already write young Kaz as autistic-coded, as he usually only touches and talks to Jordie and is very attached to him, is quiet and likes puzzles more than ‘acting’ games, and doesn’t speak a lot but has an advanced vocab.

- Kaz can eat just about anything for survival, but it’s easy to headcanon him as actually only liking a few foods. Some autistic people are picky, and others love food, because people are different. That being said, I’m picky, so I headcanon that Kaz doesn’t really like eating with a few exceptions (things like chocolate, breakfast foods, ice cream, chips, pasta, coffee, because I love those things) and greatly dislikes many other things (I like writing that he doesn’t like carrots?? Idk)

- In Alternate Universe fics that make it hard to justify Kaz’s touch aversion with Jordie’s trauma/more modern AU’s: Autistic Kaz With Touch Sensitivity! It keeps him in character, gives him a reason to wear gloves, and adds neurodivergence without compromising his canon traits.

- His boundaries being ignored or sensory overload could also work to explain why he’s so pissed off all the damn time

- Not a lot changed between Kaz and Inej. Autistic Kaz and Trauma Kaz overlap a lot and can both work in canon, so he can still want to touch Inej like in the books. Many people have exceptions, and Inej (and Jesper, and the other Crows) would make sense as being Kaz’s exceptions. Plus, it adds to Inej’s feeling of safety because Kaz wouldn’t even think to touch her without reason/without asking until they’re a LOT more comfortable. You can still write him as being touch averse to Inej regardless of romantic feelings though.

- I think a reason Kaz isn’t talked about as an autistic possibility very often is because he’s such a badass? The portrayal of autistic people is often that they can’t be leaders, or that they’re soft and a cinnamon roll. People are more likely to make, say, Wylan autistic, and ignore the fact that Kaz has a lot going for this. So, to write Autistic Kaz realistically, what do you have to do?

- Write him how he is in the books, with all his same habits and thoughts. In a modern AU, you can actively acknowledge it. Tag Autistic Kaz regardless of it being a focus. And in “canon universe” fics, you can still tag him as autistic, and mention how Kaz was like as a child or use introspection

- Autistic Kaz, using his canon character traits, probably won’t read as OOC

ALSO!

Jesper’s definitely ADHD and while I was writing a fic I realized Kaz and Jesper have an ADHD/Austic friendship. It’s true that Jes and Kaz don’t always understand each other, but:

Kaz actively appreciates and likes Jesper (otherwise he wouldn’t be so hurt by Jesper’s loose tongue), and similarly to being unbothered by Wylan’s disability, I don’t think Kaz would mind Jesper’s quirks.

Since Jesper often fixates in fights, Kaz doesn’t have to worry about interference from Jesper’s brain during a job, and when it’s casual hanging out, I think Kaz just doesn’t care/actively understands where Jesper is coming from.

It’s not too supported by canon other than Kaz internally deciding that one of his best friends is going to be the hyperactive and social Jesper, despite them outwardly seeming so different

And why Jesper would pick reserved, quiet, and oddly prickly Kaz to be his best friend too. They don’t match up but if they just kinda vibe with each other/understand their brains work differently, then you have a very interesting basis for why they’re comfortable with each other.

TL;DR A lot of Kaz’s traits in the books (hyperfixations, special interests, sensory issues, behavior, mental capabilities) can be read as very autistic coded. This helps with rationalizing his behavior in AUs that lack his Jordie backstory while remaining completely in character and can also help characterize Younger Kaz. Additionally, it would not and should not compromise his badassery or competence. He and Jesper are Autsitic/ADHD friends.

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker analysis #character anaylsys #autistic kaz brekker #neurodivergent kaz brekker #jesper fahey #adhd jesper fahey #inej ghafa #wylan van eck #Kanej #six of crows #six of crows duology #neurodivergent character #autistic character #my post #feel free to reblog #feel free to interact #my crows

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ramp-it-up · 3 years

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Scene Stealer

Pairing: Rafael Casal x Reader

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: Minors DNI, a little angst, some language, a smidge of jealousy, but mostly just fluff! No smut! 😃 All errors my own.

A/N: This an ask from @wreakhavoconmacroissantdiggs for the Show Runner AU. I really love these two. Hope you enjoy, Loves! 💚

Read the previous part, Sundancer .

Hi lovely! Idk if your still doing requests right now? If you are can I have a fluffy/soft-ish moment between Rafa and reader? In the Showrunner AU and reader is actively filming a scene and Rafa's being difficult, lol

Your relationship was the talk of the town, especially since you accompanied Rafael on the red carpet of his latest win; it also happened to be your first nomination.

Ever since you went public, you were content with being ‘partners.’ You, especially, said there was no need for anything more. You didn’t want to tie Rafael to you, because you didn’t own him.

Art was the most important thing, not a conflict diamond and a piece of paper.

Rafael quickly agreed. After all, it had been his manifesto. You two had a perfect understanding. Until you got this role.

This gig required you to dance, and you hadn’t used your classical training in a while. You were nervous as hell.

“Who does music videos with this big a budget any more?”

You just rolled your eyes as Rafa as he delivered the shade. He would never outright say that he didn’t want you to do it; he always supported you, but you could tell it bothered him.

There was a slight tension in the air in the days leading up to filming, but you both pretended nothing was up. You were busy with rehearsal, so you brushed the thoughts of this shift in your relationship aside.

Maybe he was a little tight because you told him that the singer could definitely get it during a cast party before you two were a thing. Except in Rafael’s mind.

Rafa had taken mental notes on everything about you, and this one he didn’t forget. But, he loved you, and he was going to ride for you. Right?

----------------

On the day of the shoot, Rafa pulled up to the studio at about 1:30. He agreed to meet you there when you invited him for moral support. You’d been there since 11 am.

He shook his head to himself as he was shown to your dressing room, lamenting the fact that he didn’t bring Diggs, because he would be the one needing moral support today.

Rafael knocked on the door and heard you say, "Come in!"

He walked in and saw you in a big, poofy, but short wedding dress. A more elaborate ballet tutu, but still definitely a wedding dress. Rafael was thrown for a loop, so he just stood there, taking you in. He felt like he was breaking a rule, looking at you in this dress.

You looked absolutely amazing.

The make up artist was working on you, but you turned around and grinned when you saw him in the mirror.

Rafa felt like he needed to sit down.

"What do you think?"

Rafael actually couldn't think. He looked down and noticed that you had your pointe shoes on. They matched your skin tone perfectly and extended your lovely legs.

He began to feel warm, a heat which began in his chest and radiated throughout his entire torso. But he was a thug. He tried to express it.

"You look beautiful...."

His throat was dry. What the fuck was wrong with him?

To you, Rafa looked a bit like a fish, his mouth opening and closing with no sound coming out.

"What?" You cocked your head at him.

Rafa recovered and moved toward you. ‘Keep your cool,’ he thought.

You shrugged at him, turned back around to the mirror, and continued.

"I would never actually wear anything like this. It's too poofy and big. Too princess-y. Not my style." You grimaced.

"You look beautiful." It finally came out.

Rafael smiled, feeling an overwhelming desire to kiss you. The makeup artist exited and Rafa was left staring at you in the mirror again. You were a vision.

He cleared his throat, deciding to lighten the mood.

"Can I climb under that dress and do what I want to do?"

You threw your head back and laughed. Once again, Rafael was caught in your spell.

"I'm working babe, but we can arrange something later..."

‘Whatever you say, my love,’ Rafael thought.

But what he said was, "Cool."

--------

When filming started, Rafael stood out of the way behind the camera to watch. It was a church scene and apparently what you had to do was dance down the aisle to the altar for the wedding scene.

You were lowkey checking for Rafa, and everytime you looked over, he was glowering at you, the set up, or back seat directing. You could read him like a book, and he was not amused or positive about this.

That only made you more tense and out of the zone. You began to regret inviting him. What was his problem? Was he jealous? He was being an ass, and you were going to tell him about himself later.

You ignored him as you stretched to get ready for another take. You were not going to let him ruin this for you.

---------

Rafael saw you and melted. He watched, mesmerized, as you danced toward the star of the video. Rafael’s heart clenched when you reached them and kissed them lightly on the lips.

It happened at least six times for the different takes and angles, and Rafa had visions of dragging you away from there, but he remained calm.

Rafael had no idea that his emotions were so loud. All pretense, all acting skills, all professionalism went out of the window the moment he saw you in that wedding dress.

He just did not think this production was up to the standard of you. And he caught on to the interactions between you and the star of the video between takes. It was not cool

You ran through a couple more takes and finally it was time for the last scene, the love scene.

You were whisked back into your dressing room for a wardrobe change. Rafa paced up and down in the hallway to calm himself down. After a few minutes he thought it worked.

Until you came back out.

You were in the sexiest black nightgown he'd ever seen. And those heels. You looked hot as fuck. But when he looked into your eyes, it was clear that you were terrified.

"Rafa, I don't think I can do this. I'm not feeling it…” Nerves were getting to you.

“They are sooo not like I thought they were. They're kind of…. There’s no chemistry. And I’m a hack actor if I can’t do this…” You bowed your head, ashamed.

Rafa hooked his fingers under your chin and brought your head up. He looked at you sternly. He was angry. But not at you.

“Energy up. Expectations down.”

You tried to respond with a brave smile, but you were really about to burst into tears. Rafael grabbed your hand and pulled you back into your dressing room. He made sure to lock the door.

You thought you knew what he wanted.

“Rafa, we don’t have time for that, I…”

“C’mere.”

Rafael hushed you and grabbed your hand, pulling you into his embrace. His large hand was on your lower back, and he held your other to his chest, beginning a slow dance to music only he could hear.

You looked up at him quizzically and raised your eyebrow.

“Rafa, what…”

“I know that we talked about not seeing the need for marriage in this crazy world, and that we are married to our art, but take a little mind excursion with me…”

You fell into rhythm with him as he began to whisper-sing “Hideaway.”

…See you’ve had the wrong plan

been sipping the wrong wine

Ay ay… let me put you on my vibe.

“Imagine we’re dancing at our wedding…”

You snapped your head up and looked in his emerald eyes. They twinkled down at you.

“I said, ‘imagine.’ This is just an exercise.”

“I would write a new song just for you and sing it while we’re dancing and get you wet for me but make you wait until after we party all night with our friends to get some.”

He smiled down at you and you were with it, getting into the fantasy. You swayed with him a little longer and smiled back up at him. Rafael’s stomach flipped.

So of course he twirled you away from him and back into his arms. His hand moved down your back to your ass.

“Seeing you in this would be the perfect wedding present. Imagine me waiting on you, not wanting to wait any more to touch you, taste you. Make you a mama.”

You stopped and stared at Rafael.

“….That’s quite the imagination you have there…”

Rafa stared back at you. “I am a creator. I create wild musings.” He turned you around to face the mirror.

“Use it.”

He put his hands in your satin covered hips.

“Pretend you’re a woman who would want that. Marriage. A husband who would cherish you and try to make you happy.”

Rafael bent down to hug you from behind, pressing his cheek aside yours.

You gazed at your reflections in the mirror. In that moment at least, you were that woman.

Rafael kissed your neck. You closed your eyes and you felt it before you opened them, but when you did, he had stepped away.

“Now go out there and pretend that person is what that woman wants.” Rafael looked at you in that way one more time before he cleared his throat and looked down.

You straightened up and walked toward the door.

“Thanks for the fantasy, Cash.” You looked back at him.

Rafa winked at you. “Anytime.”

——-

Three hours later, after you’d killed the scene and production had wrapped, Rafa waited for you in the parking lot, smoking and dialing Diggs on the phone.

“Whattup. D. I need you to talk me out of buying a rock.”

--------

Tag List:

@braidedchallah @theatrenerd86 @sebastianabucknettastan @imatyoursurrvicesurr @riiyy @lonelydance @jbrizzywrites @honeysucklechocolatedrippin @anh1020 @sillyteecup @ohsoverykeri @theselilwonders @biafbunny @summerofsnowflakes @honeysucklechocolatedrippin @wreakhavoconmacroissantdiggs @janthonybitch

#Rafael Casal #rafael x reader #rafael casal x reader #rafael casal fanfiction #rafael casal series #rafael casal fluff #rafael casal angst #rafael casal x you #Showrunner AU

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mywitchcultblr · 2 years

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i think it would do you some good to understand that fandom culture isnt everything. you can enjoy a piece of media without leaning into the nasty parts of fandom. if stuff is bothering you, you are allowed to block it out of your view. the internet is everyone, and that includes people who will disagree with you. and thats ok. thats the beauty of the internet. i see you in the tags and youre loud (why the giant text size?), of course nasty people are going to gravitate to you. fandom isnt bad, and you can easily avoid any bad parts of fandom you dont like. idk i just feel like....youre stuck seeing and interacting with things that make you upset and it really REALLY does not have to be that way.

I really don't interact with the things that i don't like... Not that much honestly. At the same time i don't really block people because i always feel bad about it... I keep thinking about the person behind the account and what they might feel

But let's admit it... Fandom can be so much, like even if you don't look at the things that you don't like... and I'm using fandom not just for fandom things but actually to help me building portofolio and navigating online space to help with works

The easiest way to gain some traction on the internet ( when you don't have pretty privilege and you don't put out your face online ) is through fandom. So i have to be active in many places

Why am I loud? That's just me

Also i love the big font. Small fonts gives me headache sometimes

I don't know I don't like holding back and censoring myself, like i always say what I have in my head... So yeah I'm just gonna continue post whatever

Like I'm literally almost incapable of holding back my tongue, and i don't like holding back

There's no middle ground within myself only 'WTF PEOPLE GONNA SAY OMG OMG' and then there's the 'FUCK YOU IM NOT GONNA COWER' like two extreme of the emotional compass within myself

I'm a very emotional person in a nutshell

Ps. I also love to analyze everything+ being super outspoken that's just asking for debate but eh *shrug*

#sigh #fandom #anon #ask #the elder scrolls #dragon age #greedfall #stardew valley #ofmd #arcane #mass effect #divinity original sin 2 #fallout

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noona96n · 2 years

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The Guest Ghostbusters AU, you say? I am intrigued. Tell me more, don't be shy, go on, write that fic!

asfghjkldi i can't believe u read my tags lol (for anyone who's interested, i think anon is referring to this reblog)

okay, so, i'm absolutely certain that mb 3 years after canon, Gil Young and Choi Yoon will move in with Hwa Pyung. well, Choi Yoon basically moved in about a year ago but they like to pretend he didn't.

anyway, after finding out that Hwa Pyung is alive, Gil Young and Choi Yoon bulldoze their way back into his life. they visit him every weekend and, when they can't be there physically, they video call/facetime and such. it's also the reason why Choi Yoon finally FINALLY gets a smartphone. well, Gil Young gets that phone for him and tells him to shove it, she's not taking it back, it's a gift. fck that vow of poverty or whatever, he can have the phone bcs he's not the one who bought it.

anyway, one day, in the middle of lunch or whatever, Gil Young was called back to Sangyong for an emergency case or sth so she had to leave asap. Choi Yoon is willing to go back with her but she said she'll come back to pick him up later in the evening. except she couldn't bcs it's a murder case or sth so Choi Yoon has to take a taxi back to Sangyong. except there's no taxi bcs Hwa Pyung lives in the middle of nowhere and it's late af so Choi Yoon decides to just stay the night.

they go on a 5am walk the next morning and Choi Yoon drops by the local church with an old Father. they talk and pray while Hwa Pyung snoops around the church. and then a couple of weeks later, Choi Yoon transfers to the local church in Hwa Pyung's area. he loads all his stuff into Gil Young's trunk one weekend and Gil Young is like ??? and Choi Yoon is just *shrug* and Hwa Pyung is just 'aight, might as well'

the local Father is more than thrilled to have Choi Yoon around and finally gets to retired. Hwa Pyung fishes and visits the church and goes into the confession booth just so he can talk to Choi Yoon.

Choi Yoon lives in the on-site housing (im sorry but idk what the place that priests live in near the churches are called, im not christian. im barely a buddhist lol) anyway, he lives there and Gil Young picks him up on her way to Hwa Pyung's house every weekend.

but, one weekend, after a particularly difficult case, Gil Young is wasted and can't drive back so she crashes at Hwa Pyung's and Choi Yoon's like 'well, there goes my ride' when he can totally walk back to the church. Gil Young stays the night every weekend after that.

and then she starts going there after work on Friday and leave every Monday morning at ungodly hours to get back to the station in time.

and then, one day, Gil Young just... shows up with a fckn ton of luggage with her and claims Hwa Pyung's room as her own ??? and Hwa Pyung is just *sigh*

she transfers to the local police station and eventually retires from active duty after an incident that left her very sick/injured. she becomes a private investigator and goes fish with Hwa Pyung and somehow gets roped into demon hunting with Hwa Pyung and Choi Yoon absolutely loses his shit bcs two supernatural-blind people hunting demons on their own ??? they cant exorcise them what are they thinking ??? cue Choi Yoon internal anxiety going at full force

anyway, further further into the future, Choi Yoon stops caring about his vow of celibacy and officially enters a relationship with Hwa Pyung (bcs im willing to jump hoops for Choi Yoon to throw his vow of celibacy out the windows but unwilling to make Choi Yoon stop being a priest bcs Choi Yoon being a priest means Choi Yoon will be able to save his loved ones in the future + he helped save Hwa Pyung's life (yea i think he managed to exorcise Park Il Do at that beach somehow)). i say officially bcs let's be real, they've been low-key dating since forever, they're just both dumbasses.

anyway, Gil Young be coming back from filing their taxes to see Hwa Pyung bending Choi Yoon over the kitchen counter and she's so pissed but fond of them she throws her shoes at them before leaving and go out to have a smoke in the front porch. and yes she hears them fckn but she's like *smokes* *taps feet* *checks watch* "urgh they're taking so long this time tsk" *rolls eyes* and yes, this time, this isn't the first time she hears/sees them have sexy time

they go on demon hunting adventures together and get thrown in jail every other week and Gil Young phones detective Koh who spends 30mn shouting into his phone but always shows up to bail them out. he also brings them tofu. and his wife's homecook meal bcs he knows they haven't eat shit since their arrest and god knows they need to eat bcs the three of them are more or less dirt poor.

but look, they be struggling to get by and always running head first into danger and complaining about the lack of air-conditioning in the summer and their hot water running out in the winter but u know what, they're happy.

they're happy and that's all that matter.

Hwa Pyung, Gil Young, and Choi Yoon are so incredibly happy and that's all that matter.

#ocn the guest #the guest ocn #choi yoon #yoon hwa pyung #kang gil young #noona96n

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nefoe-dd · 3 years

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SO SMT AU AM I RIGHT GAMERS

I mentioned this in the tags of another post and joked about it in Discord but my brain went brrrr during my last class of the day and now I lowkey have a full plot starting to form lol.

Keep in mind the only Shin Megami Tensei game I’ve played myself is the Nocturne remake, plus I only really remember bits of the plot of 4 and whatever we’ve been given so far of 5 so I’m not super well versed in the series.

Also I’ll add this to the tags too but DSMP Spoilers specifically for the contents of Techno’s Will exist in this post, because that is where the idea for this came from. A lot of other JRPGs have similar plotlines but I specifically thought of SMT because its kind of a meme specifically for that at this point how the plot always seems to have the same type ending bosses.

Also some spoilers for Shin Megami Tensei IV

ANYWAYS

Now Presenting: An AU where Techno’s Limbo is an SMT Game lol

(Under a ‘Read More’ because it got way ahead of me)

An Introduction to Relevant SMT terminology:

Demons: Makes up a large majority of the characters in the game. They are the enemies that you face in combat, and its possible to recruit them to your team through various means. Some demons exist in the overworld though, and can be talked to normally, they’re chill most of the time, unless you do something to tick them off. ‘Demon’ is not taken literally by the Christian definition, they are based off of various figures in folklore and religion around the world, some are even based on Gods and Angels.

Law vs Chaos: Many SMT games have multiple endings based on these two alignments, along with the neutral alignment. It is usually decided by some important decisions the player makes throughout the game. I’m most aware of the SMT 4 ending, in which the route you are on decides the final dungeon, the character you team with for the ending, and the final boss (its either Satan or the in-game version of God). It’s based off of the traditional interpretation of these two, where Law represents the importance of authority, and Chaos represents the importance of freedom.

Another note is that a lot of SMT games take place in a post-apocalyptic world of some kind, which, spoiler, is the case here.

General Plot Details and Worldbuilding:

- Techno dies in the prison. The stasis chamber fails and Quackity succeeds in killing him. Permanently.

- Despite dying, he wakes up again in the main prison cell, but things are different. The lava isn’t blocking the entrance anymore, (in fact there isn’t any lava at all), and he’s alone. Upon peering outside the main cell, he notices a bit of sky peeking through the prison ceiling, like it had been broken into.

- The drop down to the bottom floor is long, but he’s dead, so he just shrugs and jumps down so he can see what’s going on. Turns out there are several holes in this part of the prison, in fact there are multiple on the ground, likely where the lava had escaped from. (Obviously Minecraft lava specifically doesn’t work like that, I’m pretty sure in the DreamSMP the bottom is all source blocks, but just ignore that bit).

- He exits from the back wall of the prison, and everything there so far looks normal, except for the fact that there appears to be less trees than normal. Of the trees that are still there, many of them were cut down and never collected, and some appear to have fallen over due to some damage.

- Techno goes around the prison to the front, and that’s when he notices some things that are very wrong. Various parts of the prison, not just the main cell, are also sitting destroyed. Many cracks, scuff marks and full-on chunks are missing on the walls. The usual entrance which houses the nether portal is hardly still standing, and he can see straight into the main lobby where the portal would lead into once you were let through.

- The surrounding areas are not much better. Tommy’s outpost is toppled over in the distance, only the base and bottom floor are left standing. The tents near the beach are collapsed and destroyed, the only remnants of one of them is a small piece of fabric ripped from the main bit and laying on the ground. Skeppy and Badboyhalo’s mansion is crumbling where it stands, half of the back wall and ceiling are gone. And that’s only what’s visible from here.

- The rest of the server is also in various states of destruction, the spawn walls are hardly left standing, the main nether portal area is covered in potholes, none of the portals are active. The prime path is rotted and broken in most areas, the buildings along it are not faring much better than the ones he’d seen before. And the further he gets away from the prison, the more the plants themselves appear to be dead or dying.

- L’manburg’s crater looks much the same as it once did right after its destruction, albeit with more debris at the bottom which had fallen from the sides as they slowly eroded. The flag at the bottom is torn up and discoloured, honestly its hardly recognizable. The nature that had finally begun to reclaim the land has slowly been dying instead over time, and the bridge overtop has completely collapsed. The only thing still standing, is the ever present obsidian grid that looms over it in the sky. He supposes that whatever disaster had caused this wasn’t able to reach that high up, or that it was at least in part done by someone that liked the way it looked. Not that there seems to be a need for the reminder anymore.

- Something something, he finds out DreamXD is here, and that he might have had something to do with how this world looks. And as much as it shouldn’t matter in the afterlife, he did promise Phil he would be killing God sooooo he goes on a mission to do just that. He can do pretty much anything now that he really doesn’t have to worry about dying, so why not. He has no reason to care about some God, especially when they’re the only ones left.

- Some DSMP people hang around the world and are represented by certain demons, the mostly chill ones that kinda just hang around in the apocalyptic scenery. They don’t recognize him, it isn’t really the people he knows after all, but they are willing to talk to him since they can tell he isn’t human either. He learns little bits of what happened through them, and learns where DreamXD resides, that being one of the strongholds that’s a bit further out.

- Unfortunately, due to the portals being inactive, and his inability to break anything efficiently, or even at all, he has to travel using the overworld. Along the way he manages to speak to some others, this allows him to better locate where the God is, although it doesn’t seem to be hiding out. He even sees it sometimes flying around, which he uses to follow where its hiding.

- Some of the random demons he runs into recognize that he’s not supposed to be here (according to them at least), so he has to fight his way through them. Luckily, many of the friendly demons that he talks to end up tagging along in order to help, thus making up a team he can use to get through them instead.

- There’s probably a demon that seems to resemble Phil somewhere, living alone (alone for so so long) away from everyone in an arctic house perhaps. If I wanted to really up the angst, the demon takes a liking to Techno right away, which is partly how Techno is able to tell its him so quickly. The more they talk, the more Techno realizes how lonely the Phil he knows must be without him there, how upset he’d be once he reads the will and finds out what happened to him. Thus he’s more motivated to, you know, fight God, in an attempt to figure out what the hell happened. (DXD is the only entity existing here that also exists where he’s from, he can guess pretty easily that maybe, just maybe, they are one and the same). Thus, he is given a choice that he knows he will have to make in the future.

- Eventually he manages to find the stronghold and comes face to face with DreamXD himself. DreamXD is just kinda chillin there, they fight, through DreamXD doesn’t seem to be putting in too much effort, almost like it does not want to win.

- Techno wins (duh), and he is left with a choice, a choice to finish the job, or spare the god and allow it to go free. And, well, he feels that he doesn’t really have the right to decide whether it lives or dies, and while its possible that DreamXD caused whatever disaster created the current state of the world, but he doesn’t know that for sure. DreamXD has done nothing this whole time he’s been here, and its done nothing to him or his companions.

- He chooses to leave it alone, and DreamXD seems to know that it was always going to end that way.

- DreamXD disappears, and Techno wakes up in the cell again post-revival, the prison and the world around it is the same as he remembers

(I don’t remember the exact real-world to limbo time difference but I imagine that it felt like, a day, maybe half that, while irl it was only a few minutes to an hour.)

Some other notes/details:

- The other possible ending would have resulted in Techno killing DreamXD and being given ANOTHER choice to take its power over the world, or just leave and stay there forever. Basically DreamXD’s existence is vital to the power of the revival book, and it’s death would have resulted in Dream not being successful in his revival attempts. Obviously we have no idea how the powers actually work yet, but I just came up with an explanation because I thought it would be interesting. You can decide on your own which of these endings fall into Law, Chaos or Neutral because uh, its complicated given the scenario. You can also decide if letting DreamXD live even fits into his character! Idk! But its not like DreamXD’s being oppressive by any means, not that there’s anyone to oppress here anyways. That’s my logic anyways.

- I don’t know what demons would represent specific people, I’d like to use one of the Angels for Phil but the Demons based on Angels usually have an important role in the plot that is in line with the Law alignment and like, protecting god or whatever, so no. There are a couple bird ones but idk if they fit the vibe, idk it could work, I’d have to look at a list if I want to go into this further.

- I kinda want Eret to be an Inugami because it’s body does that thing that ferret’s do when they’re all stretched out :) The only reason I’m hesitant is because Inugami is a dog, and Goose deserves representation.

- The reason I imagined for why Techno can’t break anything is because the mining fatigue lasted throughout this because he died with it, it’d get in the way of fighting too but at least it isn’t weakness, and he’s not alone either.

Uhhhhh that’s it for now I think!

(will potentially add to this if I figure something else out in the future)

#Dreamsmp #Dreamsmp spoilers #DSMP #Technoblade #none of the schoolwork I've done so far is this long what the fuck did I do #this is almost 2k words btw

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threecrowsinatrenchcoat · 3 years

Text

Paint My Spirit Gold

Dukeceit Week Day 2: Green/Yellow

Fans of the YouTubers "Deceit" and Remus "The Duke" Sanders start to suspect that maybe, just maybe, the two of them are more than simple internet pals.

AO3 Link: [here]

Word Count: 2187

Warnings: n/a

@dukeceitweek <3

[ID: A screenshot of a Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It features a watercolor-style painting of a snake. The snake appears to be made of melting chocolate, and there is a large bite taken out of its tail. Cherries and jam are leaking out of the snake at the bite wound. The snake's expression of horror is overly-exaggerated to the point of comedy. The caption reads: "liked your snake boi, @SerpenThyme. thanks for the inspo." /end ID]

A notification ding cut Janus off mid-sentence.

“Wow, someone left their cell phone on, so professional,” he said, giving the camera a dramatic eye roll. That someone was him, of course, because he was the only one in the apartment- just him and the running livestream- but that was no excuse not to be a drama queen about it. He finished wiping flour off his hands and grabbed his phone to silence it; but the notification made him pause. He flicked his eyes up toward the camera and gave a slight smirk.

“My goodness, I’m famous,” he drawled. “The Duke himself has graced little old me with some fan art.”

Most of the comments in the chat wanted him to show it, so Janus opened up Twitter to see the full post he’d been tagged in. It was a watercolor painting of the coiled-snake chocolate sculpture- lovingly named Jake by his viewers- he’d made for his YouTube video last week; it was wearing an expression of such comedic horror that Janus had to stifle a laugh. He flicked his phone screen toward the close-up camera on his counter so his viewers could see.

“How kind of you, Remus,” he said. “All of you should go scold him for what he’s done to poor Jake here.”

Most of his viewers would know he was joking- after all, they were the ones to nickname him Deceit when he provided neither a real or fake name for his online persona. They knew full well what he was like by now.

The oven timer dinged. Janus silenced his phone and set it aside.

“And our first batch of cookies is done. You know, why don’t we show the Duke some appreciation?”

[ID: An Instagram post by user @SerpenThyme. The photo is an artistically-framed shot of a stack of sugar cookies with green, yellow, and pink icing. Propped up against the stack is another cookie, with an intricate icing-drawing of an octopus. The photo appears to have been color corrected to have high contrast, low saturation, and a dark vignette at the edges. The Instagram user @OctoDukie is tagged. No caption. /end ID]

“You know, I have often been accused of actually being a little old lady, what with my fondness for knitted jumpers, rocking chairs, and incredibly fucked up murder mystery books. Today I am doing nothing to dispel this accusation, by making soup.”

The studio was dark and empty aside from Remus' workspace. Everyone else had left long ago, even his own brother, which meant that it was officially ass-o'clock in the morning (or, as most people called it, somewhere between 1 and 2 a.m.) But Remus was stuck in hyperfocus, honed in on putting the last touches on a commission that he'd been putting off for weeks. It's not that it was a tough painting- once he'd gotten started, it was actually a very creatively satisfying piece- but man, executive dysfunction could go suck a dick

“French onion soup, specifically. Because while I do like to pretend I am a classy bitch, I am also, regrettably, a lazy bitch with a distaste for anything that takes longer than one bottle of wine to make.”

Remus hated working in silence. It was stifling, almost suffocating. His brain needed noise like his lungs needed air. So when the studio had grown still and silent, Remus had flipped open his laptop and queued up some YouTube videos.

“So we have here three pounds of onions that we need to slice up, pole to pole. You’re going to cry no matter what, so if you have any memories you’ve been repressing since middle school, now is an excellent time to dredge those up.”

And if it happened to be 90% SerpenThyme videos, well. Sue him.

“Now the first rule of caramelizing onions: fast and sloppy is always better than slow and thorough… at least, that’s what every man I’ve ever slept with tells me.”

Remus choked and glanced over to his laptop screen just in time to catch Deceit's trademark smirk directed at the audience just for a moment. It was the deadpan delivery that always got him. Remus could barely hold onto a joke long enough to get through it without cackling mid-punchline, but this fucker could say the funniest shit like an off-hand comment.

He wiped his hands off on his jeans (what use were clothes if you couldn't use them as paint rags?) and pulled his laptop across the table. He typed out a quick comment, citing the timestamp of the joke, and after it was posted, he shut his laptop.

'Cause ass-o'clock was short for "get-your-ass-home-or-I’ll-kick-it" o'clock.

[ID: A screenshot of a YouTube comments section. The first comment is by user TheDuke, and reads: "10:42 wow, rude." The second comment is a reply by user SerpenThyme, and simply reads ";)" /end ID]

Janus plopped down on the couch with a slight groan. He didn’t need to stream today, but he really hated missing days. Besides… he was fine. Really.

He adjusted the camera until he was happy with the framing, and then checked the settings on his streaming software. Satisfied, he started the stream, and watched as his usual viewers rolled in.

“What do you mean I’m not in my kitchen?” Janus drawled, addressing the chat. He glanced around with an expression of faux-shock on his face. “My goodness, when did that happen?”

He chuckled, and then gestured to his surroundings. “Yes, we are in my living room today. If you must know, my closest and most trusted friend tried to murder me today- yes, Virgil, it was attempted murder and nothing less- and I survived with nary a scratch… and a broken foot, but that is beside the point. Anyway, I’m not allowed to stand for long periods of time, and I may or may not be somewhat inebriated by pain pills and couldn’t stand even if I wanted to. So we are cooking from my couch today.”

Janus paused for a few moments to read the chat messages as they popped up. A few get well soon’s, a few theories about the “attempted murder,” Virgil- who moderated his chat for him- vehemently denying the “attempted murder” but otherwise refusing to clarify the event, and a large volume of wtf why are you streaming today, take care of yourself comments, which made him smile. But one particular comment caught his eye, almost lost amid the torrent of an active chat: wait this kinda looks like the Duke’s living room?

“Oh, VampSuga,” he said, addressing that commenter in particular with a slight smirk. “I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about. Anyway, since I can’t reach my oven from here, I thought some no-bake cookies were in order. For these you will need-”

[ID: A screenshot of a Discord conversation. The text reads:

“VampSuga: Ok ok hear me out. Dukeceit.

Starstruck96: who?

IneffableSnek: lmao

FeralBeauYasha: lol

VampSuga: Deceit and Remus Sanders! They’re totally dating. I will die on this hill.

FeralBeauYasha: Isn’t the duke w/ PatPat?

IneffableSnek: no thats his brothers bf

FeralBeauYasha: ohh

VampSuga: Did anyone see Deceit’s stream today? I swear that’s the Duke’s livingroom.

StarStruck96: idk that seems like a stretch

IneffableSnek: no wait i kno what u mean

IneffableSnek: im watching the duke’s old videos and that one where he shows off all his old weapons he’s in a living room kinda like deceit’s

FeralBeauYasha: They were acting all cute on twitter too

VampSuga: DUKECEIT” /end ID]

"Hey guys, been a while since you've seen my face and not just whatever my hands are busy with, when it's within YouTube's terms and conditions I mean. They used to be way more lenient…" Remus trailed off for a moment, then shook his head sharply and plastered on a grin.

"Anyway! In June me and a few other creators did a fundraiser for the Trevor Project, and y'all smashed the goal, so I let you decide what video I'd make this month." He paused, and gestured to the mountain of clothes piled behind him on the bed. "And you had so many juicy ideas to choose from, but you decided to dress me up like a Barbie instead."

Remus paused to scroll through his phone for a few moments. "Ah, ok, here we go. Twitter user YoonIsMyCat- oh, BTS, nice- sent in this first outfit. Uh… future Remus, put up the post here somewhere." He gestured vaguely to his right. "Y'all went with either a fuckton more clothes or a fuckton less clothes, which I respect. Apparently this outfit is called…” He squinted at his phone. “Amish chic? I take it back, no respect at all.”

Remus cycled through the outfits his viewers sent in, which ranged from the aforementioned “Amish chic” to “2008 rave attire” to “ok now you guys are just fucking with me” (which consisted of one of those big puffy snow coats, lime green in color; booty shorts with the shrug text emoji across the ass; fuzzy pink boots; and a yellow cowboy hat to top off the whole thing. It was awful. Remus loved it.) The mountain of clothes on the bed gradually became a mess of clothes spread across the floor instead, until there was just one outfit left.

“Ok so Twitter user VampSuga sent me this outfit that I’m gonna call ‘sexy librarian.’ I couldn’t find this exact sweater online, but-” he paused for dramatic effect, before brandishing a sweater toward the camera like a bullfighter. “My boyfriend had something that was close enough.”

Remus hopped up from the bed and switched off the camera so he could change.

“They’re going to lose their minds,” a voice drawled from the doorway. Remus threw his shirt at him.

“Shoo, I’m getting naked.”

[ID: A Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It features a selfie of YouTuber Remus “The Duke” Sanders, a Hispanic man with his hair dyed green and styled into a spiked mohawk. He is wearing a yellow knitted cardigan over a black button-up shirt. He is grinning widely at the camera. The caption reads: “my viewers pick my outfits! now live on youtube. go see what i look like as a sexy librarian!” /end ID]

DukeceitStan

first and only dukeceit shipper ig

DukeceitStan

wow there’s so many of you now! Hi!!

DukeceitStan

i want this to be canon so bad omg

DukeceitStan

i mean just look

[image]

how

[image]

cute

[image]

[ID: A series of three gifs featuring Youtubers SerpenThyme, aka Deceit, and TheDuke, aka Remus Sanders. Deceit is a black man with long, dreadlocked hair, and vitiligo patches along the left side of his face. Remus is a Hispanic man with green-dyed hair styled into a mohawk, many ear and facial piercings, and tattoos covering both arms. Each gif is edited so that the highlights are tinged yellow when Deceit is seen, and tinged green when Remus is seen.

The first gif depicts a close-up shot of Deceit’s hands as he carefully decorates a cookie with green and yellow icing. The cookie art he is working on appears to be a half-finished octopus. The gif then fades into a mid-shot of Remus, with his back to the camera, facing a canvas. The canvas is blank, and Remus appears to be laying out paints on a table to his left.

The second gif depicts Deceit seated at his couch, facing the camera. He has many ingredients spread across his coffee table (including oats, cocoa powder, and butter) and appears to be in the process of laying out several more. The gif fades to show Remus seated at a similar couch with a similar coffee table in front of him. The camera is angled slightly downward to better show the myriad of knives spread out across the table. Remus is gesturing wildly with a morning star held in his hand.

The third gif depicts Deceit in his kitchen. He is pulling on a bright, yellow knitted cardigan, and smirking toward the camera. The gif fades to show Remus in his bedroom, seated on his bed. He is holding up a similar-looking cardigan toward the camera and grinning. /end ID]

“Remus, it’s almost two in the morning. Come to bed.”

“I’m coming, sorry. Twitter distracted me.”

“Mm. I can’t believe the bird app is more distracting than I am.”

“You should try harder.”

“Come to bed and maybe I will.”

“Ok, ok, I’m coming. Hang on though, is it cool if I post this?”

“Sure. They figured it out anyway.”

“Sweet. Ok, Jannie, I’m coming.”

[ID: A screenshot of a Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It reads: “Dukeceit is canon.” /end ID]

#dukeceit #dukeceitweek #remus sanders #janus sanders #sanders sides fic #kye writes

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halfthealphabet · 3 years

Text

@greygullhaven and @lawlessferalgay tagged me both but on different blogs lol so here it is

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

50,094 (I write a lot of short fics lol)

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

9 fandoms (ish). Kingkiller Chronicle (27), Haven (16), and then one or two for Hamilton (both crossover), Leverage (also a crossover), Cloak ad Dagger, a retelling of Bluebeard, Red, White, and Royal Blue, and Legacies.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A recount of Rio fro Red, White, and Royal Blue, where Alex and Henry tell their friends what happened in Rio when they first met. Very funny and I frequently forget I write it lol.

You can break my heart from Cloak and Dagger, a to all the boys au I never finished and have very few comments on oops.

kiss me too fiercely, hold me too tight from Haven, an alternate scene in Fear and Loathing if Duke had offered to hook up with Nathan instead of rando girls.

Old Friends from Kingkiller Chronicle for Kote and Tempi, a ship I have very little investment in and is super super short but people love it??

an eventful morning from Haven, smut for the threegulls and it's light and fluffy and a little funny.

5. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

a lot of my kkc fic gets super angsty cause there is a lot of like, character analysis in fic form, but There's a part I can't tell takes the cake and I cried writing it. it's about denna and her patron and domestic abuse. it was stuck in my head and I had to get it out. (but also wow there is a lot of angst in my fics???? @ me please explain).

6. What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I'm partial to A life without you is empty, even tho I don't care about Timeless at all anymore, it had the part in the ending that was important to me, which is Lucy saving Amy because sisters are important, okay? But Good Morning from kkc is also super sweet because sim and fela are my darlings.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

yes, kingkilller chronicle and leverage, as well as kingkiller chronicle and hamilton. yes, I do have a problem, thank you for noticing. one day, I'll write a kkc and haven crossover, I'm sure

8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I shock myself by saying yes to this, not even fics with smut, just straight up smut. as to what kind? i have no clue.

9. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

usually, unless I get super distracted, it just feels kind.

10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not yet, but I write for unpopular fandoms so *shrug*

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not as far as I know

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, never gotten around to it. tried to once but it fell through in high school

14. What's your all time favourite ship?

Parker x Hardison (Leverage) (I do enjoy the ot3, but Parker and Hardison have my heart), Tandy x Tyrone (Cloak and Dagger), and Audrey x Nathan x Duke (Haven) (they are addictive)

15. What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

. . . I have several *hides behind table*

16. What are your writing strengths?

I have been told when I write for kkc, I sound like pat rothfuss, which like, WHOA. like, more than once, and that's an amazing compliment to me. I'm trying to carry that style over to other fandoms, but I usually prefer writing dialogue heavy with little description, or actively describing someone's feelings and nothing else for like two solid pages.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

describing setting is a huge one but whatever lol

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

only French if @logarithmicpanda has approved it (I have heard them talk so much about terrible translations in published books, I would not be comfortable doing it), but I probably wouldn't tbh. there has been no need so far.

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

before I published fic online, Stargirl in grade school and Half Resurrection Blues in college were both fics I handed in for grades lol. the first one was from Cinnamon the rat's pov and the second was Carlos going to therapy cause I think I'm funny. on ao3, kingkiller chronicle.

20. What's your favourite fic you've written?

hm. I really am not sure. maybe Blue and Red

tagging @nbvethbrenatto @coat-the-boneless @iamtheholyghost @bisexualshakespeare @cookiedoughmeagain @serendipityxxi and idk anyone else who sees this and wants to!!

#this was fun!!!#tag game

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peaches-writes · 4 years

Text

how to appease your asian aunties ch. 3 - spring break

* icym: this was prev. a guide to social gatherings but i changed the title bc i still think i’m funny that way

description: in the immortal words of blood-related aunts and aunts you’re not even related to but forced to call your aunt at reunion parties, “do you have a boyfriend?” member: jisung / han genre: fluff, fake dating au, implied rich kids au, eventual childhood / best friends to lovers au, college au, implied fem reader (but i still used they/them pronouns) word count: 5.4k chapter warning: food, a conversation calling out toxic asian family culture oops note: i’m not confident with this one bc i had to re-write this two times (?) with diff. plot directions + srsly idk what happened here what was the point am i ok + i didn’t post this accidentally this time !!!!

ch. 1 // ch. 2 // series masterlist

After seeing you and Jisung interact during your trip to the mall, your mom has started loving this new idea of you dating one of her close friends’ sons so much that she has not-so-discreetly started conspiring with Mrs. Han in order to see the two of you together as much as possible. From invitations for snacks and drinks at one’s house every day after school to whole-day activities on the weekends (usually to the mall or the cinema), it didn’t take long before you and your own best friend put two and two together and conclude that your respective moms have somewhat developed an auntie type of obsession over your fake relationship.

This idea that your moms would love you and Jisung together so much to this extent initially flew past your head when you started this fake relationship last Christmas. You were only thinking of casually fake dating your best friend, after all; such arrangement ideally confined only in social gatherings where invasive relatives and family friends ask about your love life endlessly. You genuinely did not expect that that Jisung would start tagging along to you and your parents’ Sunday movie dates and side with your dad every time you disagree on your selected movie’s ending; or that you would not be parting ways with Jisung after school anymore when you reach your house and he has to drive another block to get to his.

But for the most part, you’ve decided as the weeks fly by with this new added twist in your everyday, it’s fun and, even at times, cute. Though Mrs. Han dotes on you more now, like you’re her own child, and your mom is starting to be more talkative around Jisung since they now have you to talk about, you still get to eat snacks either your mom or Mrs. Han made, hog the extraordinarily fast wifi at Jisung’s house, and get free movie tickets and shopping bags from when you’re going out with the other’s family on the weekends. Plus, it’s made your workaholic mom come home earlier just to see you and Jisung lounging in your living room and Mrs. Han’s worries lessen now that Jisung’s busy with something else that isn’t academics or whatever it is he does with his Bumble and Tinder apps.

At times, it’s tiring having to hang out with your best friend under the guise of a couple, especially when you didn’t really plan for it to be this way, but you can’t deny that there are perks to it.

So, you wait more patiently for Jisung every day after your classes now even when he usually takes a lot of detours to see his friends before driving over to you on the other side of campus. You still hang out with your friends, Ryujin and Chaeryeong, after classes, of course, but you part ways with them just a little bit earlier now to anticipate Jisung’s Convertible pulling up in front of your building and unnecessarily yelling at you to get in even when he’s the one awfully late.

Because if you were to choose between your other best friends and a free expensive snacks, you’d always choose the latter without fail.

“You know,” Chaeryeong comments next to you on this particular Friday, stretching her legs down to the steps below you three while you scroll through your phone and Ryujin naps on your shoulder with her earphones still plugged in. “if I didn’t know that you’re ditching us earlier for free fake dating food, I would’ve thought that you and squirrel boy were seriously dating.”

“You always think we’re dating either way.” You roll your eyes, not even sparing a glance at the smug grin on her features. “Anyway, aren’t you happy we’re ‘dating’ now? It’s what you’ve always hoped for but, you know, fake.”

Only then do you turn to Chaeryeong over your shoulder, also scrolling through her social media on her phone. She meets your gaze after with a scrunched up nose and furrowed eyebrows. “Hm,” She pretends to contemplate, placing her index finger up to her chin. “I don’t know. I think I’ll have to wait until someone caves and you actually develop feelings for each other—like in books!”

“Seriously?” You deadpan with pursed lips, only making her laugh. “Of all things you could bring up.”

Chaeryeong shrugs in response with a knowing smile, chuckling when your expression doesn’t change. “You never know!” She replies in her defense, laughing all the way. “You did say after break that you’re just going to fake date if there’s an event but it’s Spring Break tomorrow already and you’ve been fake dating every day since classes started again.”

“Sounds like a romantic trope to me.” She comments last teasingly before you can even interject, swiftly dodging your hand when you reach up to try and smack her. Literature majors, really.

“For one, I don’t want to date Jisung, I’ve seen enough of him my whole life for that and I don’t think I’m in the mood to date in general. And besides, we’re only a ‘couple’ at home when someone’s mom is watching.” You counter as you retract your free hand back to your side, alternating your gaze between her and your other hand with your phone. Jisung’s last message is that of him informing you that he’s making a quick stop at the International Relations department today to hand Hyunjin his books ten minutes ago. Knowing him, if he didn’t get lost or got distracted by a kiosk selling coffee, he’s probably on his way now. “And you know I love free stuff, it just happens to come only if I hang out with Jisung these days.”

“So what happens when you ‘break up’? And I don’t mean the cute perks from the aunties.” Chaeryeong asks next, leaning back on her propped elbows now that the stairs going up to your college building have started to cool down from being exposed to the sun the entire day. “I mean, it’s back to normal for us as your friends—I do miss not having to remind my parents that you’re a couple now—but your moms are going to think it’s weird that you suddenly broke up and went back to being friends like nothing happened.”

“I already told you and everyone else, we’ll think about that when it happens.” You shrug both at her and the nagging thought in your mind that she has a point.

“And when exactly will that happen?” She prods on, smiling smugly at knowing that you and Jisung never talked about this certain part of your current predicament clearly. “‘Dating until everyone doesn’t think of Jisung as a fuckboy or when aunties stop offering blind dates’ sounds vague to me.”

You see Chaeryeong’s smile grow bigger when you don’t answer immediately, accidentally letting time pass until Jisung’s gray Convertible pulls up steps below you with an obnoxious honk.

“Y/N, my mom bought gelato today!” Jisung yells at you from his roofless car, his radio blasting Bermuda Triangle at an embarrassingly loud volume. “Let’s go!”

You then quickly shake Ryujin awake in response, gently moving her to Chaeryeong’s legs when her eyes open, before standing up and waving goodbye at your two friends. “Like I said, I’ll let you know when it happens.” You hurriedly conclude your conversation with Chaeryeong with a triumphant smile, making her roll her eyes. “See you after the break!”

Chaeryeong only shakes her head in disbelief, easily letting you go from her interrogation with a wave goodbye. “You be careful now, hm? Have fun with your ice cream, then!”

You chuckle as you run down the stairs, waving your hand up for her as you move away without sparing a last glance. “Don’t worry, I’ll take pictures!” At this, you open the front passenger seat to Jisung’s car and smoothly slide in, haphazardly discarding your backpack next to his at the back before closing the door next to you. “Hey, ugly. Glad you didn’t get lost on campus.”

“Speak for yourself, ugly.” Jisung teases back, shifting the car’s gear back to ‘Drive.’ “How was your day? You three look so bored out of your mind there.”

"Better now that we’re going to eat ice cream at home.” You put your seatbelt on as Jisung now drives the car home, reaching over to the radio in between the two of you after and lowering the volume. “Classes were tiring as usual. What flavors did auntie get, by the way?”

Jisung almost makes the wrong turn with your choice of words, quickly gathering his thoughts and shaking his head. “Fu—u-um, Ferrero, strawberry, and mint choco, that’s what she texted me.” He shrugs, making the correct turn to the nearest campus gate this time.

From the corner of his eyes, you nod with a hum as you sink back in your seat, completely missing the way you unconsciously caught him off-guard even with the screech of the car tires. “Oh, cool—no pun intended there.” You chuckle to yourself, leaning to the opposite side now to watch the college buildings pass by. “We’re watching The Conjuring 2, right?”

“Yeah.” Jisung scoffs, brushing off what remains of his sudden nervous feeling with the comment. “Tch, cool.”

Like every Wednesday and Friday that Mrs. Han prepares you after school snacks and drinks, you and Jisung go through tubs of ice cream and tumblers of water while a horror film is projected on the television of the Han’s ground floor living room. Mrs. Han, who has her office day off on Fridays, would occasionally drop by and either ask if the two of you need anything or comment on her distaste for horror under her breath.

“Oh, oh, dear.” She clutches her pearls dramatically, much like her son would, as she passes by for the sixth time to go to the kitchen and catches another glimpse of The Conjuring in the process. She then turns to you and Jisung after to calm her nerves, catching you still sprawled across the sofa with your legs lazily piled on top of Jisung’s.

Of course she’s seen you in the same position before in the few times you came over as one of Jisung’s friends but the sight now seems different under the guise that you and her son are a couple. Typical mom.

“Hi, auntie!” You greet her when you catch her from the corner of your eye also for the sixth time, waving your empty spoon in greeting with one hand while the other blindly reaches for Jisung’s laptop on the coffee table to pause the movie. Jisung hides his face under a throw pillow at this, already having enough of his mom snooping around for today and you giving her the time of day. Since when did you get comfy with his mom, anyway? “Do you need anything?”

Mrs. Han immediately shakes her head with a dismissive wave and smile. “Ah, nothing, I was just checking up on you two!” She clarifies again. “Do you need anything? Extra pillows? More water?”

You shake your head politely, holding up the water tumblers on your other side reassuringly. “We’re good but thank you!”

At this, Mrs. Han clasps her hands together in satisfaction. “Alright, if you need anything, I’ll be in the kitchen, then!” She concludes, taking a step back from the door frame. “You’re staying for dinner, right, Y/N?”

You glance over at Jisung, prying the throw pillow away from his face enough to see him shaking his head and making you feign a teasing frown for his mom. “You don’t want me to stay over dinner, babe?” You taunt with a smile, chuckling when he pushes the pillow back onto his face. Turning to Mrs. Han, you add, “I think Sung doesn’t want me staying for dinner, auntie, but I’ll gladly stay over if you want me to; anyway, my parents are coming home late today.”

“What? Oh, he’s just being shy!” Mrs. Han dismisses with another wave of her hand. “Please do stay for dinner. I’ll text your mom for you too.”

“Alright, if you say so.” You nod, giving her your sweetest smile now. “Thank you so much!”

With that, Mrs. Han then bids you goodbye and proceeds to the kitchen. When the sound of her stilettos fades outside the living room, Jisung removes the throw pillow in front of his face with a groan, scooting closer to you until his shoulders bumped into yours. “My mom, seriously.” He then smacks you on the shoulder with the throw pillow as you press ‘play’ on his laptop again. “Ya, are you seriously dining with us tonight?”

You kick his legs under yours in response. “I think it’s cute, it’s not like she caught us doing something weird.” You shrug in his mom’s defense. “And yes, I’m staying over because your mom is clearly cooking tonight and I can’t say no to an offer and free food.”

“I’ll have to get back at you when we’re back at your house on Monday.” He counters back, shamelessly dipping his spoon on the mint chocolate ice cream in your hands. As he bites on the small chocolate drops on the ice cream, a thought then crosses his mind and he asks, “Wait, are we still hanging out on Spring Break?”

You turn to him, swatting his hand belatedly before taking a big chunk of his strawberry ice cream. “I don’t know, my mom hasn’t mentioned anything and I don’t think my parents have any plans of going on vacation this break.” You answer truthfully before eating the spoonful of ice cream. “What about auntie?”

“Nothing from her too.” He shakes his head. “Though we’re definitely going on vacation this Break—my dad really wants to check out the new Jeju hotel.”

“When are you coming home?”

“Friday night, I think? We leave on Sunday.” He answers, taking a sip of water now that the taste of ice cream is now making his mouth feel sticky. He takes note of how you used the same word again, recovering quicker this time before he could even choke. “So we’re definitely not hanging out on those days.”

You hum against another spoonful of ice cream, this time from the Ferrero ice cream in the small gap between the two of you. “I mean, it’d be nice to be away from you for once—we’ve literally been joined to the hip after classes and most weekends since the New Year—but that would mean no free food which would be a shame; I really like your mom’s cooking.”

“Ouch, I didn’t know you don’t like spending more time with me just for me.” He clutches his chest dramatically, hugging the throw pillow again. “I thought you’d like this since I was away for a year.”

“We barely hung out before you even left.” You chuckle in amusement, grabbing the pillow from him again and this time lazily discarding it to the other end of the sofa. “I already thought you’re annoying the rare times we hung out before. Now, you’re just the bane of my existence.”

Next to you, Jisung laughs along belatedly, holding his ice cream tub away when you try and take another spoonful of strawberry from him. “Yeah but I’m the bane of your existence that you’re ‘dating’ in front of the aunties for free stuff and them leaving you alone.” He points out, giving in to you after when you almost topple over the Ferrero ice cream and handing you his strawberry ice cream. “So you can’t really complain.”

You roll your eyes as you exchange tubs of ice cream. In front of you, a jump scare goes unnoticed as you pay more attention to Jisung anticipating what your next words would be. “I’m grateful,” You clarify in a mumble as you chew on the ice cream. “But you’re still annoying as hell.”

“Not like you’re any better.” He rolls his eyes with another playful laugh, shifting in his seat. “Yeah, I think we shouldn’t hang out on Spring Break: we’re going to ‘break up’ if we keep meeting too much at this point.”

This time, it’s you who gets another thought at this comment. Shifting in your seat as well so you’re now facing Jisung, you ask in a change of topic, “Right, I meant to ask: when exactly are we ‘breaking up’?” You raise an eyebrow at him when his eyes widen in confusion. “It’s just that Chaeryeong and I were talking about it a while back and it had me thinking.”

“Hm? I thought we’ll do it a little after Chan and Miyoung’s wedding.” He shrugs nonchalantly. “There aren’t many events after that and I’m sure the aunties won’t bother you for a while since you’ll start working.”

“And if they do?” You ask back curiously. “Starting work at your own parents’ company while going through a ‘break-up’ doesn’t exactly guarantee a free pass from blind dates—remember the last time Yeji had a relationship the aunties knew about?”

“Right, that was quite chaotic.” Jisung replies, keeping his spoon in his mouth now instead of eating more ice cream as the unexpected question actually catches him off-guard. “But, I don’t know. I guess we can keep going a little longer after the wedding, until the aunties have someone else to bother or, you know—if you end up liking someone else.”

You then catch Jisung’s eyes light up at this idea and you hear him quickly add, “Hey, how about that?” He then removes the spoon from his mouth, placing his ice cream down in between the two of you. “You don’t have to worry about your elders and we don’t have to fake date anymore.”

“Actual dating?” You furrow your eyebrows. Jisung nods at this. “You know how I feel about that. I don’t think I want that for myself right now given the changes that are going to happen after we graduate.” You wave your hands around now, setting your ice cream and spoon down before sinking back in your seat. “And I especially don’t want that just for the sake of getting people to mind their own business; it’d be like giving in to the pressure in a way.”

You glance over at Jisung to see him nodding thoughtfully now, an unfamiliar look crossing his features before he meets your gaze and comments, “Okay, that’s fair—but we both know it’d be too troublesome to fake date for a long time.” He then sighs, sinking into his own spot and leveling with your gaze.

Suddenly, you feel a shift in the air around you as Jisung sets his ice cream down on his other side. “Aish, don’t you just wish you can talk back to older people?”

“Yeah.” You nod in agreement this time, pursing your lips. The air suddenly felt sincere now, a bit comical since the people keep screaming on the television in front of you but, for some reason, you don’t feel like laughing because Jisung isn’t despite obviously having the same thoughts. “I mean, we all know that the talks about dating and career and everything else are often in good-nature but a lot of times they’re just invasive and a bit rude.”

When Jisung doesn’t reply as quickly, you nudge his shoulder and add, “I especially think of the time you told some of the parents during Yeji’s birthday about your plans to study in Malaysia and how negatively they received it because they think you won’t graduate on time and that you should just finish college quickly and work.” Jisung’s eyes widen in surprise this time. “They don’t know how hard you work in your studies or how you really wanted to go abroad and explore and I really wanted to scold them for it.”

“Y-You still remember that?” He asks in disbelief, earning him a casual nod from you.

“Of course,” You confirm, your free hand unconsciously balling into fists on your lap at the memory. “I’ve never wanted to yell at my mom’s friends until that point even when you tried laughing it off so I’m glad you proved them wrong when you came back during Christmas and impressed them when they asked about it again.”

You see Jisung chuckle under his breath shyly, tearing his gaze at you for a moment. “You mentioned that night that you were annoyed. I never knew you were this annoyed.” He muses out loud. “Thanks.”

“Thinking about it now, I feel a bit bad,” You point out after, heaving a frustrated sigh. “You’re keeping up with fake dating me even though it just started as a little joke last Christmas to protect me in a way but I couldn’t stand up to you two years ago.”

Looking up at Jisung, he grins at you reassuringly and shakes his head, effectively easing the atmosphere back into being more lighthearted. “No, it’s okay.” He dismisses your frown. “Just knowing what you really thought then is fine already.”

“And,” He shifts in his seat after, transferring the tubs of ice cream in between the two of you now to his other side so he can scoot closer. “I get free food every other day from your mom because we’re ‘dating’ so it’s nothing, really.”

You scoff when he breaks out into laughter. “Right, of course.” You deadpan before breaking out into genuine laughs yourself. “What was I even thinking, talking about sincere things with you?”

The two of you laugh for a while, even more when Jisung pretends to complain that you just 'wasted’ the last act of the movie talking about ‘mushy stuff.’

“Stop complaining, dummy,” You smack his elbow, sitting up properly now as the credits begin to roll. “you entertained my rants instead of stopping me so it’s your fault too.”

“Because you brought up something of mine from two years ago!” He protests before moving away to gather all your scattered snacks to the coffee table, laughing in disbelief all throughout. “I had to respond or it’d be rude!”

You only roll your eyes at him, making the two of you laugh even harder. You then lean back on the sofa, stretching your hands above your head and removing your legs off of Jisung while he disconnects his laptop from the television and closes both electronic gadgets.

Turning to you, after, you see his laughs turn into a small sincere smile once again. “But seriously,” He says, glancing back at you from his shoulder. “Thanks.”

“For?” You prod him teasingly, earning you a groan of frustration from him.

“For almost getting mad at the elders?” He jokes back with a raised eyebrow before going back to being sincere again. “Nah, for being understanding with me and my choices.”

“Of course,” You reply casually. “even if we joke around a lot, you’re one of my best friends—well, as if I had a choice in that, you know me too well and too long.”

“Way to ruin the moment.” He frowns at you in feigned disappointment, making you chuckle, until another thought crosses his mind. “And, Y/N?”

“Hm?” You look up expectantly at him.

“We have to break up some time after the wedding but I’ll still try and protect you,” He clears his throat awkwardly. “from the ‘rude’ and ‘invasive’ comments after, I mean. You should do whatever you want to do freely and date seriously when you want, not when older people pressure you into it.”

At this, your gaze softens at him visibly, even more when he doesn’t make other hints that he’s joking. “Thank you.” You mumble, just loud enough for only him to hear when you see Mrs. Han pass by the hallway again. “You should too, you know, do whatever you want and date whenever you want to.”

Jisung opens his mouth to speak but, behind him, you catch a glimpse of Mrs. Han suddenly returning to the hallway and stopping by the living room entrance again, waving at you and unintentionally cutting her son off. “Y/N, Sungie, dinner’s ready!” She informs you before Jisung could even get a single syllable out, making him purse his lips in annoyance with his face hidden from his own mom’s view. “Y/N, I already texted your mom, by the way, and she said it’s fine that you stay over for dinner.”

You turn to the side and nod at Mrs. Han, chuckling when you see Jisung hiding his hands on his lap and exaggeratedly curling his fingers up in frustration. “Thank you, auntie! We’ll be right there!” You assure her, smiling up at her until she disappears back to the opposite direction of the kitchen.

Turning back to Jisung, you swat his finger tips back into relaxing with a laugh. “Guess we have to go back to adhering to the system and fake dating for now, though.” You conclude with a giggle, standing up from the sofa and fixing your clothes. “What were you going to say before your mom barged in?”

After a moment of silent contemplating, Jisung ends up shaking his head and following you, gathering the tubs of ice cream in his hands. “It was nothing.”

“Really?” You ask, elbowing him gently before picking up your water tumblers from the sofa. “Come on, tell me.”

“It’s nothing, seriously.” Jisung assures you with a laugh, walking ahead of you out of the living room and turning around to see you catch up. “Come on, leech, dinner time.”

You bump his shoulder with a laugh when you manage to catch up with him, “Shut up, you’re also a leech.”

“But not on this day, you’re in my house.” He corrects.

Dinner with the Hans regrettably passes too soon even with all of Mrs. Han’s questions on your school life and post-college plans; and Mr. Han bringing up embarrassing and, at times, even exaggerated stories from when you and Jisung were children. When Mr. Han is suddenly forced to retreat back into his home office to attend to a minor emergency (hastily bidding you and Jisung goodnight) and Mrs. Han managed to win in your argument over you helping her and the house helpers to do the dishes, the old grandfather clock at the house entrance strikes quarter to 9 PM which prompts Jisung to offer you company in walking back home.

“Yes, how thoughtful of you, Sungie! Do walk Y/N home!” His mom comments with a proud grin as she shoos you out of the kitchen. “I’ll see you after Spring Break, Y/N, okay?”

You nod, giving her one last side hug, careful of the dish washing liquid bubbling up on her pink gloves. “Have fun on your trip to Jeju, auntie!”

“I’d ask you to come along if it didn’t turn out so last minute, I did mention it on New Year” She jokes, much to Jisung’s horrified face. “Oh, Sungie, what’s that look for? Don’t you want Y/N to go on a trip with us next time?”

You giggle nervously, pulling away from the hug after and taking a step back to Jisung’s side. “Maybe next time, auntie? I have lots of deadlines this break, anyway.”

“Ya!” Jisung hisses at you discreetly, pouting again that you’re entertaining his mom’s antics. You only elbow him in response.

In front of you, Mrs. Han seriously contemplates on the idea before waving her drier glove. “Yes, it is quite last-minute right now since we leave on Monday.” She smiles fondly. “Next time, it is, then!”

“Okay, that’s enough planning for a future trip!” Jisung quickly interjects before you can humor his mom longer, placing an arm over your shoulder and turning you around to face the open door leading outside. “It’s getting late and I have to walk back here on my own after!”

You wave back at Mrs. Han, laughing when she rolls her eyes at her son before bidding you one last goodnight. “Goodnight, auntie!”

With that, Jisung gently pushes you into a run out of his house, haphazardly closing the door behind him and directing you across the front lawn, to their gates, then, finally, to the dimly-lit streets of your subdivision. You’re only pulled to a stop when Jisung almost pushes you to a car parked on the house across his, making you laugh.

“Ya, we didn’t have to run out so fast!” You protest, clutching your stomach with one hand while the other hits his side. “My stomach hurts.”

“You keep entertaining my mom’s ideas!” He playfully whines back in between tired pants, catching his breath quickly before throwing an arm over your shoulder. “If you’ll keep going like this, you might actually become best friends!”

You scoff, keeping his arm on your shoulder anyway as the two of you now walk to the direction of your house. “Watch your words, Han Jisung, or it might actually happen.” You warn him teasingly, adjusting your backpack on your shoulder. “Besides, I was just doing what you were doing on New Year—how did you call it?—’earning points.’”

“I also told you then that my mom already likes you so much,” He pouts, easily pulling you flush against him when a lone car passes by. Instinctively, he then moves you to his other side so he’s walking closer to the road. “You’re just going to be more annoying at this point.”

“Well, I like your mom, too, so I’m going to be extra annoying from now on,” You grin mischievously. “maybe until we ‘break up’ then everything’s going to be awkward for a while.”

Glancing over at Jisung from your side, you see him genuinely frown momentarily before sighing in feigned defeat. “Fine, do whatever you want.”

You want to ask him about the sudden frown but you end up shrugging it off as you cross the street to get to the right turn at the intersection. With the new direction you’re walking into, Jisung shifts you to his other side again.

“You know, it’s not like some car’s going to crash into us,” You move to his other side anyway and swiftly dodging another offer of him slinging his arm over your shoulder. “We’re inside the village? Where the speed limit is 20 kph?”

Jisung scoffs, dropping his arm back to his side “Your house is on your side of the street, dumbass, that’s why I moved you there.” And, as if on cue, you see your own house slowly coming into view among the towering gates and trees. “That little heart-to-heart talk we had must be getting to you, huh?”

“As if.” You elbow his side in retaliation, your backpack hitting his back slightly in the process which only fuels his teasing more.

“Aren’t you glad I’m here to walk you home?” He asks with a grin, just as you reach your gates. “Imagine if you got lost when we’re literally a block apart.”

“I hope the dog next door escapes and chases you back home,” You groan, walking a few steps ahead to open the smaller entrance on your gate with your key.

Behind you, Jisung only laughs, unfazed, before walking over to your side again and extending his arms out for a hug. “Okay, sorry,” He grins halfheartedly. “Come here, goodbye hug.”

You raise an eyebrow at him, swinging your gate open with one hand and stepping one foot on the other side. “What do you mean? My mom’s inside.”

“Yeah, but I haven’t hugged you alone in a while.” He points out while tilting his head sideways, earning him a genuine look of confusion from you.

“Ya, it’s not like we don’t hug platonically before all this.” He adds with a shaky snicker before pouting. “I’m going to get s—”

“Okay, fine.” You scoff with a small smile, stepping outside again to hug him. “Look who’s getting all mushy now.”

“Yeah, yeah,” He shakes his head against your neck, reluctantly pulling away from you after a while. Rubbing the nape of his neck bashfully, he adds, “It’s just that—everything’s been a bit different now since I got home.”

“It’s mostly your fault—”

“—I know and I don’t regret it,” He interjects quickly, wiping the smug smile of your face. “since I’m doing it to get you away from creepy guys but it’s just us now and I sort of...miss being casual.”

Your frown tugs upwards into a sincere smile as you lean back against the gates. “We are casual. It’s just that people are looking now.”

“Can we hang out sometime?” He suggests with hopeful eyes. “just us, like old times.”

“You call it old times like it wasn’t just two years ago,” You point out, chuckling now. “But—sure.”

Jisung nods with a big grin now, excitedly shifting his weight on his feet. “So, see you after the Break?”

“Buy me something nice from Jeju then we can talk.” You conclude, stepping inside now completely. “Night, Sungie.”

“Hm, goodnight.”

When you accompany one of the Han’s family drivers to fetch Jisung and his parents at Incheon International Airport exactly a week later, you only expected to see the box of imported chocolate snacks Jisung promised to buy you as the only unfamiliar thing that you’ll see, maybe even an entirely new carrier with Mrs. Han’s vacation haul if she did actually spent more time shopping than working.

What you genuinely did not expect, upon finally spotting your best friend and his parents waiting for you at crowded Seattle’s Best, is him holding more than just your box of chocolates.

“Hey?” You wave at Jisung in confusion as you stop right in front of him. To your right, you catch a glimpse of the family driver, Mr. Yoo, greeting Mr. and Mrs. Han on the next table before obligingly taking their luggage cart. “Who’s this little angel?”

Only then do you notice the two other unfamiliar people with Jisung’s parents, eyeing you curiously and whispering to Mrs. Han, probably to ask who you are.

Jisung waves his hand at you once before transferring the same hand over the nape of his neck, “Y-Yeah, um, this is—”

But before he could even finish and maybe even explain, the little girl on his lap shifts in her place and jumps to stand in front of you. “Hello!” She grins sweetly in slightly broken Korean, waving one hand at you while the other clutches Jisung’s bear plushie. “I’m Kitty!”

“Oh, hi, Kitty!” You bend your knees slightly to level with her gaze hidden behind round eyeglasses, briefly sparing a glance at Jisung after and raising an eyebrow at him before smiling again at the little girl. “I’m Y/N, it’s nice to meet you!”

“It’s nice to...m-meet you!” She politely returns the gesture, hugging Jisung’s bear plushie shyly after and making your heart skip a beat. “Will you also live with us?”

“At home?” Your furrow your eyebrows deeply now, standing up properly and turning to Jisung who you then belatedly notice has stood up as well and slung his backpack and Kitty’s over his shoulder. “Sung?”

Jisung stands next to Kitty and places a hand behind her back, clearing his throat awkwardly. “Kitty’s going to live with us for a while.”

ch. 4 // series masterlist

tags: @t-toodumbtocare @sandaigdigan-reads @pwarkhans @ruellelix @malai-barfi @mahalau @milkywayfelix @qweens-stuff @tenclouds @crscendoforsung @verobibble

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theonetheycallhannah · 4 years

Text

The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Chapter 13: SNAFU

Characters: Captain Syverson, various original minor/supporting characters.

Summary: Sy has some time to think about his past, present, and future while roughing it in the Virginia wilderness which leads him to a revelation about what he really wants…but is it too late?

Need to start from the beginning? Miss an update because Tumblr? Click me!

Word Count: 4.7k

Warnings: Mild language, mature themes, military and weapon terminology, discussion, and use. (For those who don’t know, SNAFU is a term coined in the military. It’s an acronym for “Situation Normal, All Fucked Up.” And since this is from Sy’s perspective, I thought a military term, as opposed to a therapy term would be appropriate.)

Author’s Note: Despite this being the longest chapter, clocking in at almost 5k, it was one of the easiest to write, and came the quickest. I love writing from Sy’s perspective, and the pure love he has for Shane. I’m hoping to be able to write a bit more of his POV before the story is complete. We’ll see. I apologize if it seems like one long rant about Sy’s feelings…I guess that’s what it is, with various activities peppered in. He can be a sensitive guy, and I wanted to show that.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism.

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Hope I’m not forgetting anyone! If you want to be notified when I post a new chapter or work, I’ll be happy to add you to my tag list! Stricken blogs are getting personal messages from me when a new chapter is uploaded because Tumblr’s faulty tagging system will not stand in the way of me delivering what the people want!(?) lol! (Although…their lackadaisical notification system might…sorry for that. I have no control. lol!)

X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@

Sy was no whimp. That much was certain. Missouri winters had toughened him up more than most men in his battalion and most of the participants in the training he was currently undertaking.

But it was more than that. Sy was uniquely prepared for the elements. He remembered a particularly harsh December night during Christmas break, before he joined the service when he was home alone and had to let the dog out. Fool that he was, he wore no shoes. Greater fool, he'd allowed the door to the back yard to close…and unfortunately, it had a tendency to lock. Which it did. He tried fruitlessly for a while to break back in, but being without a cell phone, he knew he'd have to walk a good distance for help with the lock.

He slipped out the gate and started up to the road, to follow it to his grandparents a few miles away. The county road wasn't the best kind for walking, particularly barefoot in the late fall, but his feet were soon too numb to feel the gravel and whatever else was lacerating the soles of his feet. After about an hour, he made it there, shivering, knocking frantically and waking his frail old grandparents up to rescue him from his own negligence. He'd regret that until the day he died. Not that they were angry about it. They shrugged it off. His grandma cleaned the blood and dirt from his feet and bandaged the shallowed abrasions. They didn't look too bad, considering the area they lived in and the trash that could have been waiting to carve him up. Then she set about cleaning up Sy's messy footprints from her normally immaculate floor. Grandpa looked all over for their spare keys to Sy's and his mom's house, and finally found them. He lent him a pair of shoes, drove him back home, and let him in the house. After that, Sy found himself eager to spend time outdoors during colder weather. As if determined to build up a tolerance to it in case he ever found himself in such a situation again.

Now, despite the time of year being only late August, it was unseasonably cool, especially at night, as if Christmas was right around the corner, and Sy was wishing more and more that he had someone to cuddle with during the nights he'd be doing cross country training here at the beautiful Shenandoah National Park. He had packed only the essentials for the expedition, a mess kit, bed roll, canteen, modest rations, first aid supplies, et cetera, plus a rope and a tarp for building a shelter. On his person, he had a compass, a topographical map of the park with checkpoints indicated, waterproof, strike-anywhere matches, a hunting knife, a tactical knife, an M17 pistol, and three .9mm clips. He was also given a flare gun to use in case he got stuck for any reason and needed extraction.

On his first night in the wilderness, he'd taken a lot of time falling asleep. Thinking.

He thought about his last week at home. He wondered how Mr. and Mrs. Stevens were doing with Aika. Shane had offered to watch her, and he considered it. He had appreciated her eagerness to help after her…less than enthusiastic response to hearing about this trip. But he decided since Aika had a close relationship already with Fred and Caroline, and she was still getting to know Shane, they'd better be the ones to take her. She understood, and had offered the second reason that since she worked so much, she wouldn't be able to give her the kind of attention she was used to. That had made a lot of sense. He felt like kind of a bad dog parent for not thinking of it, himself.

He thought about the week he'd been here already at the compound. His first day filling out paperwork, he was asked for an emergency contact. He was used to putting his mom…but she wasn't in the best of health, herself. He had nobody. Nobody but Shane. He put her down, instead of his mom. He thought about the seminars on company approved methods of subduing and detaining targets and combatants. He should have taught Shane some self-defense moves before he left. She could handle herself, and she'd proven so, but still. A refresher, or an advancement on one's skills was always a good idea. But he was sure she'd be fine. He thought about her the most in the torturous policy and procedure lecture. What he wouldn't'a given to have her here with him. She would have made everything fun. And she would have been a way better study partner than Keith. Keith, a Navy vet from Little Rock was a good guy…he just…didn't get Sy's jokes. He was a very literal kind of thinker, and it took extra effort for Sy to communicate with folks like that.

Shane, though…he and Shane wouldn't have gotten too much done, study-wise. They would have been…distracted.

As he hiked along the trails to his first checkpoint, he breathed in the clean, crisp air and stopped at the odd overlook here and there. The park was nestled on the outer edge of the Blue Ridge Mountains, and they were too gorgeous not to appreciate while he was here. He found himself…uniquely emotional. He didn't feel lonely often, but since he'd met Shane, he'd hardly gone two days without seeing her, even if it was for just an hour. She'd love all of this. She'd probably want a tent, and coffee in the mornings, so they wouldn't be able to travel quite as light, but they'd make it work. Maybe one day they'd take a trip like this. Just for fun. No checkpoints. No deadlines. No semi-automatic weapons…well, honestly, he'd probably still bring a gun, anyway. You never did know about people these days, he thought. Of course, that's probably what people think of me carrying a pistol, he also thought…anyway, he was almost to the checkpoint.

Said checkpoint was a big tent, like the ones they sold fireworks out of leading up to Fourth of July. Inside there was a single lane shooting range set up down one half of the tent. On the other half, there were stations set up with dismantled weapons that you had to assemble in a certain amount of time. Someone had beaten him to the range, so he started with the guns. No problems whatsoever. He was familiar more or less with all of the models, or some version of them. When the previous participant, a small blonde woman, had finished on the range, Sy stepped up to the counter.

The attendant reset the target for Sy so he could do a close range shot, then again for mid and long range ones. He shot well, although he still wasn't used to the lighter weight of the SIG Sauer M17s the armed forces switched to back in 2017. They'd offered him an M18 at the compound, but he favored the heaver pistol, instead. Maybe the M18 was more packable, but Sy just didn't feel right firing a weapon that felt like a feather in his hand. If it was up to him, he'd take a Colt Python .357 Magnum Revolver. That, however, was more than just a question of how the firearm felt in his hand. Being out in the wilderness like this made him think back to how it must have been before these lands became civilized and gentrified. Back to the days of the cowboy, Wyatt Earp and the OK Corral. Back when it was just the wild and free land he could pretend it was now. He thanked the attendant, who was writing his name on his targets to take back to the compound along with his graded weapon assembly timesheets, and then was back on his way.

There was an eerie beauty about this unsullied land, he thought, as the dusk fell the second night of the excursion and he began setting up his camp about halfway between the first and second checkpoints, by his estimation. With his fire built and his shelter up, Sy took out some of his rations, cured meat, hard cheese, and some walnuts, and had a light supper before cleaning his gun and turning in while the ground still held some heat from the waning sun, wishing again as the cold set in that his woman was there to warm him.

His sleep was fitful. And he awoke before dawn, from dreams he couldn't remember but which still left him feeling empty. They must have been about her. He was starting to feel regret. The last time he'd seen Shane, he'd said some things that he meant to be selfless. But he didn't mean them. He meant the parts about loving her, of course. But the last thing he wanted was to come home and find her moved on with someone else. He couldn't stand to think about it. As he walked into the next checkpoint area, the range was already set up for close range firing. He riddled the target with .9mm holes and could barely wait until the attendant got the fresh sheet set to mid range before he began firing.

"How about you let me fully clear the lane before you start on the long range target, okay, Syverson?"

"Sorry, man. I'm a little…on edge today. Won't happen again."

The short, sandy-haired buck trotted out to replace the riddled sheet with one more for the long range leg, pulled it down and lacked it in to long range position, then hoofed it back up to safety, sensing the captain's impatience. Sy shot cleanly, but with cold anger, as if the silhouette on the page out there was trying to take Shane away from him. He put two square in the chest, and two in the head without hesitating.

"Man, I've never seen a long range shoot like that! What's the deal, you pissed at an ex, or something?" Sy checked the man's lapel for a name tag.

"Not exactly, Mister…Daniels."

"Call me Jack." they shook hands, and Sy chuckled, questioning.

"I'm Sy. You're name is Jack…Daniels?"

"Yes sir. No relation to the Lynchburg Daniels, unfortunately. Momma wanted to name me after her granddad, and my old man, well, he had no problem with it given his affinity for the spirit."

"A wise man, your dad. Some of my best nights have included Tennessee Number 7." He didn't elaborate, but he was getting very specific flashbacks of drinking games in his kitchen with Shane. And he was gonna have to shake it off before the weapons assembly drill, or else he'd end up putting together an assault rifle backward.

He made it through without any trouble, thank the good Lord. But that didn't mean that his mind wasn't still reeling. He was thinking of Shane and the possibility that she was being courted by Chris Evans look-alikes and young Harrison Ford doppelgangers, and it was making him furious. He was pretty sure that she was about as interested in taking a break as he was, but he couldn't help himself from making the offer under the circumstances. He kicked himself as he made his camp for the evening, not very far away from the third checkpoint, but too far away to get there by dusk when the daily deadline was. He was a shoe in to get there first in the morning, though, if he was reading his map correctly, and he was damn good at maps, if he did say so, himself. And who would bitch at him for bragging out here, anyway. The odd cricket or squirrel? He didn't think so.

It was colder tonight, and he was thankful that he thought to boil some water for his canteen and put it at his feet. He curled his surly, burly body up under the layers of blanket and thermal sheeting. He was almost warm enough…but he still needed something.

His sleep was plagued by strange dreams that he unfortunately remembered tonight. The scene began with Shane in a bright pink dress and matching gloves, dripping with diamonds, like Marilyn Monroe in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. She looked so glamourous and beautiful, but she was getting passed from man to man to the tune of Madonna's Material Girl, which was not the correct song, and he knew it in that moment, but couldn't correct anyone, because it was all playing out on the big screen TV in his basement. When he realized this he turned it off and noticed a familiar head of hair on his lap and stroked it, about to say "Hey, sunshine." until the figure sat up and looked at him, and it was Jordan, the PTA, batting his eyelashes at him, and asking, "You ready for bed, babe?" The therapist leaned in for a kiss, but Sy leaned back, tumbled off the couch and landed on those crutches again, standing right in front of Shane in the lobby of the therapy clinic.

"Hey sunshine." he said warmly. She looked confused.

"I'm sorry, do I know you?"

"Well…I should hope so…it's me. Sy."

"Sorry, not ringing any bells. I'll look you us and see who you're with, though. Usually Heather tells the new patients which therapists they get their first day. What's your last name?"

He felt like he was getting kicked in the gut with a soccer cleat worn by the Incredible Hulk. He answered with defeat.

"Sy's a nickname. Last name Syverson, first name Logan."

"Oh, there you are. Looks like Cory gets to take care of you today. I'll let him know you're ready. As long as you're all done with the secretaries?"

Sy nodded and collapsed to the floor blacking out. When he woke up, his neighbor, Mr. Stevens was standing over him, insisting it was time for him to get ready. He kept handing him things to put on. Pants, a nice shirt, a vest, a light blue tie, a jacket, nice shoes. The whole enchilada. They got out of Fred's car at a little white chapel outside which, his neighbor pinned a small boutonniere of powder blue hydrangeas to his lapel and walked in with him.

"Come on, boy. She'll be here any minute."

Sy was nervous, but excited. He was obviously marrying Shane. But he couldn't remember proposing, or planning the wedding, or an engagement party, or bachelor party, or rehearsal dinner, nothing…but none of that mattered. He heard the first notes of "Here Comes the Bride" and everything faded away, anyway. He began to cry as she got closer. She was moving slowly, he presumed out of nerves. Or perhaps she'd chosen the wrong shoes. It didn't matter. They'd dance the night away barefoot, and make love until dawn. He wished her veil wasn't so thick. He couldn't even see her bouquet. Let alone her stunning face, no doubt smiling as she cried with him. When she stood in front of him, he broke protocol and removed the veil to find Aika in a white dress on her hind legs panting, tongue lolling happily to one side.

"You may now kiss the bride." said the wizened old minister, causing Aika to knock Sy to the ground licking his face until he blacked out again.

This time, he woke to the chirping birds of a mountain morning in Virginia. His campfire long snuffed, his canteen now chilled as his blood. Those dreams…those were traumatic. He didn't want Shane to see anyone else. The thought of seeing anyone else himself repulsed him. Thinking about what his life would have been like if they'd never gotten to work together made him physically ill, and he was terrified that if he didn't act on these feelings, he'd end up with no one but his dog. Why did it take a trip out of state and all these nights of solitude to figure this out? She was all that mattered. He could dig ditches, flip burgers, get a teaching certificate and coach, or teach gym. Whatever. He also liked history. He could think of something if the people at Secure Source couldn't keep him in consistent work. It would be fine. He understood his purpose now. And it wasn't just to do his duty to his country. He'd served proudly for years. He had a new purpose now. And it was her.

He packed up camp in what he was sure was record time and hauled ass to the last checkpoint where the brass should be waiting for finishers. He was the first one there this morning, but he wasn't sure if anyone had made it yesterday. He didn't try to make small talk with the attendant today. He was on a legit mission to get back to his locker at the compound, turn his phone on and call Shane. He fired four shots, but only made two holes on the long range target. One in the chest, one in the head. The attendant was impressed, giving the highest possible grade.

"Man, Syverson. I pray I never do anything to piss you off."

Sy nodded in acknowledgement and went on to the weapons drill booths. Today, there were distracting sound effects playing on a speaker in each booth, and each one was different. Sy ignored the cacophony, pretending it was white noise, and focused on the puzzles at hand, breezing through the new weapons in better time than ever.

As his cards were being scored and turned in for review to Jane Freitag, the administrator over acquisitions and training, he got himself a cup of coffee and a doughnut, and just observed her, tactically, and objectively. She was a redhead with sharp features, freckles, and light eyes. She was slender, but dressed simply, and modestly. The consummate professional. Sy had honestly barely registered her gender, and it wasn't because she wasn't beautiful. She was. Full red lips, lashes for days, and although her clothes didn't exactly accentuate her shape, he could tell he had a decent figure. He just wasn't interested. And would never be interested in anyone but Shane again. Miss Freitag startled him out of his thoughts.

"Mr. Syverson." She beckoned him to the entrance to the tent near her vehicle.

He picked up his gear and coffee and trotted over to her.

"Ma'am?"

"Jane, please."

"Sy, then, for me. What's next on the agenda?"

"Well, you're the first participant across the finish line. I'm very impressed. It seems as though you almost could have finished last night."

"Yes, ma'am, if I hadn't taken a little extra time for sightseeing, I might have made it here by dusk last night. I just haven't had the hustle I had today."

"Well, that's nothing to sneer at. Normally, the deprivation of food, regular water supply, and proper sleeping conditions make participants sloppy. The opposite seems to be true for you, as you've done better at each checkpoint than the one before. Now, let's get back to the compound and get you a proper meal, and a shower, and talk about what's next for you here at Secure Source."

"Yeah, about that. Before we go much further with this, I need to know one thing."

"What's that?"

"I need to know if you'll be able to find me work near enough to St. Robert and the base there so that I don't have to relocate and travel all the time. I've got a life there, and…it's not something I can just pick up and move on a whim, and I don't want to be away for weeks and months at a time. I know I made this trip work, but I'm praying it didn't already ruin everything." He wasn't going to waste time mincing words. He needed to know right away or else this wouldn't work.

"Sy, with your talent…they're gonna want to put you on the high profile cases. Celebrity security. Concerts, movie premiers, things like that. You'll be wasted as a small town rent-a-cop." there was true concern in her face and her voice as she drove them out of the park and onto the main road to Secure Source's compound.

"If there's a need I can fill, how is that a waste? There's lots of talent in this program. Just 'cause I finished first don't mean I did it the best. And I'm sure most of these folks have the people skills to take them farther'n me. And if you wanna gimme first crack at those, I'll hear ya out. Just…let me reserve the right to turn down the out of town jobs. Especially if they're short notice. And if it takes me away from another security job, I want you to send me a replacement a few days in advance so I can meet 'em, train 'em, and introduce 'em around."

"Seems reasonable." Jane said.

"Well, alright, then. I think we got ourselves a deal. I'll shower up in the locker room real quick, then meet ya in the commissary for a sandwich so we can handle the particulars?"

"Sure, Sy." she agreed as they pulled into the parking structure.

They went their separate ways, Jane to her office, and Sy to the quartermaster to return his supplies and get the key to his locker. He practically danced there, he was so giddy to get to call Shane. He did need a quick shower first, though. Which he took, grabbing some shampoo and soap out of his travel bag. When he got back to his locker, towel around his waist, he replaced the products and grabbed his phone. He sat on the bench between the rows of lockers as it booted up.

When it did, it began alerting him as if it's life depended on it. Three text messages, three voicemails, … and twenty four missed calls. That was odd. Maybe a telemarketer had gotten his number.

He checked the texts first. One was a picture of Aika from Fred, his neighbor, the other two were from Shane…two days ago. The day he went into the park.

Hey, hope you have a great first day of Survivor: Virginia! Lol! Be safe! I love you!

OMG, nutty day today! I'm gonna be doing notes for hours! I'll text you in the morning! <3

And then nothing…he chuckled at Survivor: Virginia, but was a bit concerned. Maybe she'd decided not to waste time texting him if he wasn't going to respond? He didn't know. Maybe some of the calls or voicemails were from her. He'd check before calling.

One from his mom, one from the Stephen's house phone, and the rest were from Fort Wood Therapy. That was weird. He was discharged and didn't have any appointments…surely he wasn't missing any…Shane would have said something. He listened to the voicemails. The first one was from Heather.

"Hey, Sy, it's Heather, Shane's friend here at therapy. Hey, give me a call when you get this. Thanks."

Weird…the next one was from Susan, Shane's boss. In the same tone.

"Captain Syverson, it's Susan DeForrest here at Fort Wood Therapy Clinic. Please give us a call when you get this. Thank you."

Again, weird. The last one was Susan again and far less friendly and measured.

"Mr. Syverson. I don't know what kind of game you're playing, but you need to bring Shane back to work and stop screwing around. One or both of you is in serious trouble. Either you're being hot-lined for abduction or she's fired for not showing up for work. The choice will be hers." and the line went dead.

Sy felt his stomach twist into nauseated knots at Susan's words. Shane hadn't been to work. For how long? He had to call them. He didn't want to think about the horror that might have befallen Shane while he'd been away.

"Fort Wood Therapy Clinic, this is Heather, how may I help you?" Heather said, trying to hide the obvious worry beneath the cordial demeanor.

"Heather, it's Sy, what the hell's going on with Shane? What do you mean, she hasn't been to work, I don't…"

"Let me give you to Susan, Sy. I'm sorry." She added the last two words in a whisper. After a brief moment on hold, Susan picked up.

"So, Mr. Syverson. Finally decided to call us back?"

"Cut it out, Susan." He let her blatant ignorance of his rank slide in favor of getting to the point. "Tell me what's going on."

"Shane left work Monday and hasn't been back since. No one has seen her. Apart from you, I presume. I knew letting her date a patient would come back to bite me. I should never have--"

"Shut up! This isn't about you, and it isn't because of you. And you had no right to tell Shane who she could and couldn't date, anyway. I haven't seen her in about a week and a half. I'm training out of state for a job. I've been away from my phone since Monday, and I just got back to it now."

"She isn't…with you? I assumed…"

"Well, you know what they say, Susan. I'm coming back early if I can manage it. See if I can do something to help find her. Thanks for calling me. I know your intentions weren't the best when you did, but ultimately, it worked out. I may not have found out otherwise, at least until… much later."

He hung up before she could respond. He had to talk to Jane about cutting his training short. This was all his fault. If he had just come to the realization of just how important, how vital Shane really was to him before he left…well he never would have gone in the first place. She was his life now. His world. His future, and his whole heart. Tears stung his eyes as he dressed to meet Jane in the commissary. She'd have to be okay with this. She'd have to understand.

As he got closer to the smell of fry oil, seasonings, and sizzling meat on a griddle, aromas that usually made his stomach grumble with hunger, he had to swallow back the bile that crept up his throat. He found her seated at a small round four-top, already eating a salad. He sat across from her, startling her from whatever she was reading on her phone, and again when she looked at his expression and complexion.

"Sy, what's wrong? You look downright green!"

"Listen, Jane, I'm going to have to leave training early." She scowled at him, but he was more concerned with the putrid smells of boiled egg and onion coming off her chef salad. He had to get this over with quick before he wretched in the middle of the mess hall.

"That's a big ask, Sy. Gonna have to have a reason."

"I just got a call that my girlfriend is missing. I need to go home and help find her."

"Oh…yeah, that's…that's some reason. I'm really sorry to hear that. Any leads so far?"

"No, I just got off the phone with her useless boss and all she told me was that she hasn't been to work since Monday and can't be reached on her phone. I have my suspicions, but I wanna talk to the authorities."

"Okay, well. Maybe when things calm down at home, we can set you up with some online courses like we do for our assets who need refreshers, but are on assignment. I'll approve that for you."

"Thanks," he said, gratefully, "I'm also wondering if the company has any…transportation solutions for me…of an immediate nature?"

"Man, what were your letters to Santa like as a child?"

"Oh, you know, a little red wagon, end of poverty, world peace…that kind of stuff." he grinned his most charming grin.

"Why am I not surprised? Okay, but you have to return the favor somehow, Sy."

"How about, one assignments of your choosing, no questions asked?"

"Hmmm, what about five assignments?"

"Three?" he countered.

"Done." they shook hands across the table. "I would have settled at two." she smirked.

"I would have done ten." he winked at her as he turned to retrieve his belongings from his bunk and locker. He had a plane…or perhaps a chopper to catch.

Up Next: Chapter 14: No Call No Show

#Sand Castle #netflix sand castle #captain syverson #captain syverson fanfic #henry cavill #henry cavill fanfic #sigh for sy

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janiedean · 3 years

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Is it bad that I really enjoyed reading the kinda fandom history/fanw*nk history posts abt j*nsa? XD Tbf I'm also a bit addicted to fanlore articles. XD Anyway I think in the tags of one post you mentioned j*imexs*nsa starting as an antijb thing? Would you mind elaborating on that? Sounds like an interesting, albeit bonkers, story, too.

dw I don't think it's bad I mean... we all enjoy catching up on wank we weren't part of (and my friends the things I could tell you abt spn fandom or when I was around at the sidelines for the worst rpf fic ever..) but anyway *deep breath* SURE THING LET'S SAY IT I mean....... it's not like it hasn't been years and I can talk abt it so whatevs, under the cut because reasons, also I'm saying now that a lot of this was what I deduced from circumstances and you've got to take my word for it unless someone who was around then remembers it and can confirm my impressions bc it was a lot less obvious than the j*nsa stuff

but going from the premises again:

I got a tumblr in like may 2011, read asoiaf june-july of that year, started being active on the tags around august-september 2011 so it was before S2 aired and 95% of the people that were bnfs/around then aren't on tumblr anymore/are here rarely these days so you've gotta take me at face value

in the main asoiaf bnf group there was this one jc shipper who like... I mean she's still active on twt and blocks everyone shipping jb on sight but good bc let's just say she's a piece of work not to mention that she spent months/years writing meta abt how jb was like fanfic stuff and had no book basis and how if you liked j but not c you were a misogynists which was wildly popular

I would like to add that person is basically... let's say everyone in jb fandom who ever got harassed knows exactly who I'm talking about and I'll leave it at that and was not for ship and let ship let's put it like that

so basically this person was on my dash bc I followed ppl who followed her and I saw a lot of jaimes*nsa stuff from her

in the sense that like... she was doing with it what I did with jonc/brynden back in the day when I was wanting to convince the world they were the crackship that was promised as in posting abt it/spamming it/discussing how it made canon sense/more canon sense than jb anyway and the likes, and like there was a fairly numerous amount of stuff for that ship back in the day - like before S2-3 aired jaimes*nsa had pretty high fic numbers/fanwork numbers considering that in canon they haven't interacted once

and that went hand in hand with keeping on trying to burn ground around jb before S2 aired/before they met in canon with that meta

and like... it's not like it started as an antijb thing in itself bc I'm sure that there must have been someone into it before the show aired same as there were ppl who as I was reminded lately wrote brienne/loras hatesex and so on, but the explosion which was during S1-3 (then it lost a bit of traction I think mostly bc jb exploded and sansa/tyrion happened on the show and the ppl involved kind of went more on twitter and didn't produce that much content anymore tho it still has numbers™) was also continuously fanned by person above + her followers who most likely were like... genuinely into it but again the antijb meta was around quite enough at the same time, so

also like... let's just say that back in the day I was the main t*robb ship contributor and I also wrote jb though less but jb was smaller as a fandom so I did post when the ao3 tag was at like... 30 fics or smth so I separately had my foot in both ponds and like until S3-S4 any t*robb fic where jb was the sideship would get tangentially less views/reviews than ones where they were not which in itself wouldn't be a problem bc obviously maybe ppl wouldn't ship one of them, but then there was this uuuh specific case

where someone who followed me for the t*robb who also followed her at some point asked me in private if a 22k t*robb fic that was the sequel to... my most famous/popular jb one let's put like that had a lot of jb in it because they were die hard jc people and it was triggering to them (which... I mean fair enough but in retrospective using that term instead of 'you know I really don't vibe with jb and I'd rather not read it' felt a bit like they were trying to guilt trip me ngl), I said that they showed up together in two scenes and were in the background and at most it was 1k worth of fic and the answer was that it was way too much so they were going to have to skip and like again their prerogative but idk that conversation kind of left me like is this some kind of roundabout way to say that it'd be better if I didn't sideship them? idk but until S3-4 I had the distinct feeling that at least for my own stuff having both ships together meant less readers and ngl I didn't update the infamous t*robb wip fic for a year because I was planning to make jb fairly prominent as a sideship there and I was there like 'oh god what if I get wank over it' and I didn't but again I would like to state it wasn't just because of one person, it was... the general atmosphere that seemed unfriendly unless you stayed on the jb tag/kept both separate

and I would like to add that the moment S3 happened and it sailed anyway bc it was going to was when the targeted harassing of anyone who was active on the tag started ssssso :|

basically like... I have a lot less evidence to go on re ^^^^ than the j*nsa stuff because that is well-documented the rest is my very humble opinion about the background of when j*aimesansa started getting popular but like it also was v. prominent in between jc people (same with the jcsansa threesomes) who were also following that person - I would like to also add that a bunch of ppl who shipped both were absolutely lovely and nice to interact with in other situations and not harassing anyone about it and again nothing against ppl into it as a thing but the moment of its peak was in conjuncture to the burning ground around jb moment driven by that specific person so *shrug*

#1 #2 #4 #5 #3 #anonymous #ask post #anti-jaime x sansa #anti jaime x sansa #anti jaime x cersei #anti-jaime x cersei #anti-cersei lannister #anti cersei lannister #again it's me going with what i recall but i'm p. sure some ppl who were around then can corroborate #*in jb fandom i mean

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shatterthefragments · 3 years

Text

Questions Tag Game

Thank you for tagging me @catholicnicky!

Hmm I'm supposed to tag 20 but I'll tag:

@kiaya, @caffeinatedbraincell, @randofando-spoonie, @cowgaykermit, @boutiquetraveltravelboutique @rhubarbdreams

If you want to play :)

1. Name/Nickname: Shatters <3

2. Gender: *shrugs noncommitedly*/nonbinary fits best

3. Star sign: okay so I took a thing and I'm going to assume that "Sun in Pisces" is this? bc i have no clue any time i look at that :eek:

4. Height: it is to my delight that I can definitely say 5'3" and not actually 5'2"! Bc I'm only a couple inches shorter than a friend and that would mean I'm taller than 5'2"!

5. Time: at the time of this Q: 12:20... ah I should get ready for bed soon... (longer by the time I post this at a little past 1 am)

6. Birthday: Feb. 26

7. Favourite Band: Currently? Maybe Polyphia? Most played currently at least. I've been vibing with Nothing But Thieves, Daughtry (again), 3OH!3 (i know), Florence + The Machine (though I have yet to do a discography playthrough yet), (ok so I'm scrolling through my saved artists for this one), The Neighbourhood, some local bands, and The Pretty Reckless lately.

8. Favourite solo artist: oh dear god. Um. Loving and/or getting back into: Rina Sawayama, Toby Fox, Ichika Nito, Tim Henson, Lil Nas X, King Princess, Hayley Kiyoko? idk it could be a lot more. But for Reasons it currently has to be Lil Nas X <3

9. song stuck in my head: because I caved and got TikTok (derogatory) because of the Chocolate Potato Cake (from 1912!) [and if you didn't just hear that in Dylan's voice you should find it on Youtube it's great] it's Maneskin's Beggin. When that's not recently heard, it varies between many other songs. If I whistle, it's usually a simple march we played in band. Maybe Soda. Maybe the hook from The Worst. Who knows~ not me!

10. last movie: either Waves or Wolf it's been so long since I've watched something. But soon hopefully Hartenstraat!

11. last show: Leverage! When I rewatched it last year or something!

12. when I created this blog: perhaps 2012 or 2013? I deleted most of my blog and started over though at around 15k posts so it may have been before that? But I don't think it was much before 2012 if so.

13. what I post: please tell me fuck if i know aaaaah whatever I see when I pop on when I have the capacity to actually reblog or queue it i guess? mostly related to whatver i'm fixated on <3 (speaking of - draining my queue for the tumblr post+ strike so that'll suck to get filled again afterwards :P)

14. last thing I googled: "Sugar and spice makes everything nice quote"

15. other blogs: theoldguardinshatters is my tog sideblog! I have some other... rather inactive blogs... not really sure I want to share them. Some are straight up empty.

16. do i get asks? not often

17. why I chose my URL: I'm a poet! jk jk (or am I?) but I wrote a poem back in middle school... actually a few versions based off the same premise/line (i was going to see if I could find it but looking back That Far in my blog is like "yeah, there's no way I'm faking my mental illness even when I fear I might be" so I'm just. not. going there. like holy shit maybe i should purge my old posts again...) But if I remember maybe I'll put what I can remember under a cut?

18. following: after swearing I'd never follow more than 100: 304. But many aren't active anymore :( (also literally me 5 yrs ago: 'oh god I follow more than 30 people I'm freaking out, it's too many!')

19. followers: 234, but who knows how many are porn bots I never really kept up back in the day

20. average hours of sleep: ...that is a good question... idk. maybe 5ish when I work and maybe 9ish when I am just me on my own?

21. lucky number: culturally: 8, personally, also: 3,7,13,17,19,23

22. instruments: formerly flute and tenor sax. I haven't exactly kept up oops >.< (so i guess rn I just whistle or hum or sometimes sing)

23. what am I wearing: shorts and a t-shirt

24. dream job: bookbinder, or some other creative pursuit that allows me to work with my hands - cake decorator? other arts? idk. maybe secretary? maybe fancy ass barista/pastry decorator? editor? illustrator? i have no clue please send suggestions <3

25. dream trip: with friends. Not having to drive the entire time. Longer than what I'm currently able to do... maybe a couple months... maybe in europe or asia? maybe just road tripping across canada. idk. It sure would be nice to see them again <3 hopefully camping with one (maybe two?) mid august-ish though! :D

26. favourite food: dim sum (bc I really miss going out with family!), sushi, desserts, pies, quiche, eggs benny, Popcorn, I'm not sure. those are also safe foods texturally usually too though.

27. nationality: canadian, half chinese.

28. favourite song: *shrugs* right now perhaps Soda or The Worst

29. last book I read: ...i don't know... maybe a reread I did of What They Always Tell Us or Martin Wilson's other book We Now Return To Regular Life last year?

30. top 3 fictional universes I would like to live in: ...fuck. I don't know. Most of the fantasy universes I read are fanfic... Maybe.... Waves Cinematic Universe - now that Gabriele has a boat, we could boat! Some universe with wings! A universe with UBI *sideeyes gvmt* Stardew Valley universe! :D

from what I can remember maybe (again - Several Versions of this were written... back in middle school...)

Shatter the fragments to see what's left Release the weight That's on your chest

There's nothing left For you to see Nothing left But apathy

#tag game #tag games #this was fun but hard!#poem snippet under the cut #long post #kinda yeah

4 notes · View notes

suhoerections · 5 years

Text

Temporary Fix

➵ Pairing: Frat boy!Chanyeol x reader

➵ Word Count: 5.5k (bout 2- 3k is smut)

➵ Genre: Smut, some fluff???, Crack??? idk but defs smut

➵ AU: College

➵ Warnings: Unprotected sex || Fingering || Public sex ||

➵ Plot: Chanyeol is everything you need, he’s your temporary fix

➵ Tag List: Idk i just felt like yall would like to be tagged,,, @kyungseokie @ninibears-erigom @rosyyeols @chanyeolol @fairyyeols @taetaesbaebaepsae

➵ A/N: FUCK,,,, also its inspired by this song (yebo ik its 1D but leave my inner 12 yo fan girl alone) AND i made that moodboard thingie for the post so don’t repost it without credit or you’ll be worse than comic sans

Bodies moved around you to a pulsating rhythm that seeped through the frat house. The music was loud and some upbeat tune that droned in the base of your skull.

You worked your way through the ocean of couples grinding against each other, your destination the kitchen bench filled with enough alcohol to get three times the amount of people here drunk.

“Hey! Y/N!” The voice cut through the crowd of people, a lanky form weaseling through the horde to get to you.

“Hm?” You turned around, noticing the fluffy halo of Baekhyun’s black hair bobbing through the sea of bodies.

“There you are!” He exclaimed, the curve of his waist already attached to the form of some random guy, his lips swollen with a post make out pinkness. “I almost had a heart attack when I couldn’t find you.”

Your eyebrow cocked instinctively, a small chuckle filling the space between you.

“Baekhyun… I’m surprised you noticed I was gone.” Your eyes flicked momentarily to the blushing boy beside him, bashful dimples formed in his cheeks as a pink scattered the skin.

“Hey!” Baek sassed, “Just because I’m sucking face with someone doesn’t mean you can run off on me.”

You scoffed, arms folding over you chest at your best friend’s brashness.

“I’m not going to third wheel you and…?” You looked toward the boy standing next to him, eyebrow cocking in prompt for his name.

“Yixing.” He said shyly, black hair falling into his face, hand clasping Baekhyun’s tightly.

“You are not third wheeling! I’m meant to be your wingman!” A pout formed on his lips, a grumpy expression similar to a toddlers crossing his features.

“Baek, go have fun with your friend.” You urged, gently nudging his foot with your own. “I’m gonna get some drinks.”

“At least let us come with you.” He grumbled in response, lips forming a larger pout. “I want to make sure you’re safe.”

You shrugged, turning around and walking into the kitchen, Baekhyun following close behind with Yixing’s hand intertwined with his own.

The kitchen bench held a variety of cheap alcohol befitting to the college party, the granite surface covered in bottles upon bottles of liquor.

The glass of the vodka felt cool in your hands as you poured it into the red plastic cup, your eyes scanning the thankfully less crowded kitchen.

“Xing,” Baekhyun cooed behind you, his nimble hands reaching around to nab the vodka bottle out of your hands. “Do you want a drink?”

Yixing stood there, dimples forming again as a shy smile spread across his face and his reply sounded in the small space between the three of you; “Sure.”

He seemed out of place at the frat party, his oversized sweater and cute apparel screaming night at home rather than raging, alcohol induced, college student gathering. Though he obviously caught Baekhyun’s eye - his fluttering eyelashes and small smiles already indicating that he was more than interested in Yixing.

The taste of alcohol was prominent as you sipped the drink, leaning against the granite bench casually. Your eyes surveyed the kitchen - the room less active than the bustling living room yet also alive with conversations that filled the smaller space.

You must of caught his eye, because he approached you first, a hint of a smirk tainting his handsome features as he sauntered over to you, overconfidence lacing his steps.

“Hey beautiful.” He drawled, the basic introduction causing you to hold back a scoff.

Baekhyun must've noticed the stranger before you, his hand already interlaced with Yixing’s and disappearing into the crowded living area.

You forced a small smile onto your face, praying to whatever God that this stranger would leave.

“Hello.” You responded, already hiding behind your cup of alcohol, sipping the comforting substance.

Whoever this guy was, it was no doubt he was interested. His eyes were glued to your body in the tight shirt that accentuated the curve of your breasts and waist. The gaze of this stranger taking you in hungrily.

“I’m Sehun.” He introduced, his lips curling into a smirk and his inky hair falling into his eyes in shaggy strands.

You had to bite back the urge to respond with; I’m not interested, but you didn’t, opting for speaking your name with a small smile.

“Ahh, that’s pretty,” Sehun’s smirk widened and you anticipated the words before he said them, “Would sound prettier echoing around my room tonight.”

It took almost all your willpower not to cringe, not to rear away from the stranger in front of you and just run and hide in a corner. Anywhere away from him.

A scoff sounded from across the kitchen bench where you stood, bringing your attention to a handsome stranger pouring himself a drink.

His chocolate eyes met yours, twinkling with a kindness that you didn’t see in most people, his smile holding back a laugh as he overheard Sehun’s poor attempt at a pick up line. He intrigued you, his black, fluffy hair falling into his eyes in a shagginess that was cute and quite the opposite of Sehun’s over gelled strands. The worn leather jacket and plain white tee accentuated the bad boy vibe surrounding him.

Sehun must of noticed the split second exchange between you and the other stranger, your demeanour changing from closed off to open, but not for him.

“Hey sweetheart, how you getting home?” He spoke, trying to divert your attention back to him - and it worked, though you only did it out of courtesy.

“My friend is probably taking me home, he dropped me off.” You didn’t mean to sound so uninterested and bitchy but you couldn’t help it, your tone as monotonous as you can be without sounding like a complete robot.

“Friend? And he’s a he?” Sehun cocked an eyebrow, intrigued as to whether this was actually a ‘friend’.

You huffed an amused smirk, “His name is Baekhyun and he’s gay.”

“Oh…” He trailed, pausing momentarily as he tried to think of how to fill the awkward silence between you both.

“Don’t waste your breath bud, she’s not interested.” The stranger spoke with a deep voice, his grin hidden behind a cup and his demeanour casual as he leant against the granite bench. A small, appreciative smile crept onto your face as you turned to him slightly.

Sehun scoffed, a sour look crossing his face as he surveyed the stranger in front of him.

“Like you have a better chance.” He grumbled, but thankfully got the hint, stalking off to hit up some other chick.

You let out a sigh of relief you didn’t know you had been holding in, your eyes flicking to the man behind the kitchen bench.

“Thank you.” The relief laced the tone of your voice as you thanked the handsome stranger.

He shrugged, the gesture casual yet entrancing as his eyes danced across your features.

“You just look like the type of girl who’s tired of standing with somebody who doesn’t know what you like.” His voice was deep, husky and filled with mystery. A smirk fell across his features as his eyes wandered across your body in a suggestive gesture.

“I guess you could say that.” You spoke, a smirk creeping up on your features as you looked into the chocolate abyss of his sparkling eyes, “You saying you know what I like?” Your head cocked playfully as you spurted up your mustered confidence into the question.

An equally playful smirk adorned his face, his perfect lips curving mischievously. “I’m pretty sure I could figure it out.” He drawled, the deepness of his voice sending shivers of excitement down your spine. “I’m Chanyeol.” He casually spoke, eyes flickering down your body once again.

You could barely comprehend your name coming off your lips as your eyes met Chanyeol’s, his gaze seemingly putting you under a spell of him, though the moment was soon broken as a cold hand gripped your wrist.

“Thank God you’re here, Jongdae is playing 7 minutes in heaven upstairs and he’s only doing it to get in Minseok’s-” Baekhyun’s voice cut off as he surveyed Chanyeol standing behind the bench. A slight smirk toyed at the edge of your best friend’s lips as his eyes raked over the man in front of him. “Bring your friend.”

Chanyeol looked to you with a smile that seemed to be holding back a laugh, his lips dancing on the edge of his cup as if it was the only thing stopping him from bursting out with a chuckle.

“I’ll come.” He chimed in, deep voice relaxed and smooth yet his gaze trained on you with an unspoken question of ‘will you be there?’.

A relaxed shrug was the least you could muster without bursting out of nerves and excitement at Chanyeol’s implied interest.

“Why not?” You questioned, though it was left unanswered as Baekhyun looped an arm with yours, his eyes dancing back to Chanyeol with a flirtatious smirk.

“Hm I like this one better than the other guy.” Baek hummed in your ear, his gaze now on your features.

“Me too.” You cooed back, a smirk forming on your lips as you felt Chanyeol’s arm snake around your waist.

His touch was not one you were expecting but it was amazing nonetheless. The warmth of him seeping through the tight fabric of your shirt, his hand large and encompassing as his touch seemingly soothed you. A scent of musk and an earthy home tickled your senses as he moved in closer to you, the smell of him more inviting than that of sweat and beer most of the frat boys wore.

“Is it okay if I come?” Chanyeol leaned down to whisper in your ear, his body pressing against your own as you made your way through the swarm of people to the staircase.

“I don’t see why not.” You smiled, your body already melting into his inviting touch.

Baekhyun’s sudden break away from you brought your attention to him tugging on your hand, leading you both up the stairs in a rushed manner. “Hurry up,” He whined, lips forming a pout as he almost yanked you out of Chanyeol’s grip, “I saw some twink checking out Yixing and I need to make sure he’s not getting cornered.”

“We’re coming.” You assured, reaching the top of the stairs and following him down the hallway.

It was seemingly less busy upstairs, drunk people wandering around for a toilet and a few socks on door handles was all there was to see. Most of the partygoers were downstairs, knocking back booze and hot boxing smaller rooms.

Baekhyun knocked on the last door down the plain hallway, the frenzied bangs carrying out into the room.

“Jongdae better open this fucking door or I swear-” He grumbled, waiting impatiently.

A squeeze on your hip brought you back to Chanyeol, his lips ghosting your ear as he whispered over Baekhyun’s grumbles. “This Baekhyun? The gay friend?” His question tickled the shell of your ear, his breath tantalising and hot on your neck.

“What gave it away? Him checking you out?” You laughed, an amused smile lighting up your features.

“I mean-”

“Baekhyun.” A mop of brown hair and a cheshire cat smile appeared behind the now open door, “Took you long enough.” Jongdae cooed, his kitty grin spreading as his eyes landed on Chanyeol, gaze sweeping across his muscular body.

“I only brought them here so they can make out.” Baekhyun spoke casually, his hand waving in a dismissive gesture as he walked past the man in the doorway and into the dimly lit room.

A light blush scattered across your cheeks as you followed him in wordlessly, swallowing a thick ball of nerves as you heard Chanyeol shuffle in behind you and the door click shut. The only thing easing your beating heart was his hand gently settling on the small of your back.

A small group of people you were vaguely acquainted with sat in a loose circle on the floor, a few you remembered from Baekhyun’s friend group that he tagged along with to hit up gay bars. Their eyes watched as you and Chanyeol joined the circle, his hand snaking around your waist and pulling you into his warmth as you both sat.

“So~ Who wants to do the honors?” Jongdae smirked, eyes flicking around the small circle attentively, his gaze analytical and searching as his cheshire cat grin only accentuated the mischief in his look.

Baekhyun grabbed the bottle, his nimble fingers throwing it across the circle to hit Chanyeol square in the chest.

“You go first.” Your best friend smirked, his lips curving into a mischievous grin as his hand toyed with Yixing’s.

Chanyeol’s eyebrows raised above the line of his boyish cut hair, the rugged strands falling into his clouded eyes as his hand reached out to place the bottle in the middle of the circle.

Your heart rate increased as you watched the dim lights of the room dance across the glassy surface of the empty beer bottle. Chanyeol’s body was comforting as you leaned into him, fiddling with the hem of his white tee in nervousness and hope that it would land on you.

The neck of the bottle spun around in a circle quickly, the movement fast and blurring as it whizzed around in a spiral of tightly coiled anticipation.

The bottle stopped.

And your heart sunk.

It was like being dumped in cold water, your stomach doing a flip as the glass pointed in the dreaded direction of Yixing. A deep blush scattered his cheeks and as he seemingly sunk into his oversized jumper.

“Fuck off.” Baekhyun scoffed, reaching out to pluck the bottle off the floor and point it towards you, “You are not getting 7 minutes in heaven with Xing.” His demeanour was defensive yet his eyes sparkled as they met your own, urging you to go with Chanyeol.

A cocky smirk lit up Chanyeol’s features as his hand squeezed your hip gently, the action sending a shiver of excitement to run down your spine. “Fine then,” he spoke deeply, voice laced with confidence and adrenaline.

Jongdae shrugged, unbothered by the obvious cheating on Baekhyun’s behalf. “Whatever floats your boat, the bathroom is just there.” He commented, flicking his wrist in the direction of an ensuite. “If you make a mess, clean it up.”

A few snickers arose from the group as you stood with Chanyeol, heart beating erratically against your chest, muscles seized in a thrilled anxiety that rattled your body with arousal and desperation.

“You okay with this?” Chanyeol whispered in your ear, his hot breath fanning over your sensitive flesh in a sensory pleasure that had you holding back a whimper.

“Perfectly fine.” You cooed back, an anticipatory smile creeping its way onto your features as you tried to soothe your beating heart - which only intensified as you stepped foot into the dark bathroom.

There was a moment of processing as the door clicked shut behind Chanyeol, sealing you both in the small room.

And that was it.

Chanyeol closed the space first, his movements desperate as he crossed the small space to you. The palms of his hands were hot, burning as they gripped your hips harshly, pulling you into his even hotter body.

Chanyeol was like a star - burning and intense as his lips hit yours in an intense crescendo of lust and want. His tongue was hot, the muscle moving against your own as you melted into his chest, fingers instinctively tangling in the inky strands of his hair.

He was a great kisser, fantastic in fact. His lips were plush and cushion-like as they moulded your own perfectly, his tongue teasing as if he could work it better elsewhere and his teeth nipped against your lip whenever the need for air had you pulling away.

It was heaven.

You lit up underneath his touch as he moved his hands around your body - Chanyeol being the switch to make you respond just how he wants it. It made you more aroused than you already were, the heat between your legs only heightening as he gripped your thighs tightly.

“Jump for me, baby.” Chanyeol directed, his voice gruff and dripping with lust as his fingers dug further into your thighs.

You obeyed; allowing him to lift you onto the bathroom bench with ease. A few bottles of various lotions and body washes crashed to the floor, the sound loud in the small space - yet you were both too occupied to care.

Chanyeol’s lips were on yours again, placing a sloppy kiss on your lips before trailing down your jaw and neck. His hand gripped your hip tightly, the other trailing along your exposed thigh. Your breath hitched, chest heaving against his wandering hand as his fingers teased and tickled the sensitive flesh close to your throbbing core.

His teeth nipped your sweet spot, your neck craning on instinct as he sucked a small mark into the skin. A smirk tainted his lips as he continued to mark and tease you, his fingers inching higher with every nip and tug against the delicate flesh of your neck.

A whimper escaped your lips as you felt your clit throb, the action sending sparks of pleasure through your body and a wetness to stain the cotton panties you wore underneath the skirt. The cotton panties Chanyeol was so close to touching, his fingers near enough to graze the wetness he had caused.

“Can I?” He breathed, the question heavy in the air as his fingers toyed with the elastic of your panties.

“Yes.” You responded, your statement barely a whisper - but it was all he needed to shove the cotton aside and bring the pad of his finger against your clit.

A whimper filled the small space as you gripped his biceps harshly, the sensation of your fingers digging into the chiseled muscle cause Chanyeol to moan low in his throat. He worked his calloused finger against the swollen nub, his breath hot on your neck as his other hand gripped your ass harshly.

The feeling engulfed your body in pleasure, tendrils of desire and arousal seizing you in a coil of pure bliss.

“Ch-Chanyeol~” His name fell off your lips, the two syllables breathy and half moaned as they filled the dark bathroom.

“Fuck.” He muttered the curse, deep voice turning you into a puddle as he pulled his finger off your clit, inserting 2 digits into you slowly. A whimper escaped your lips as he started hard and fast pace with his fingers, curling them to graze your spot with every thrust.

“You’re so wet, baby.” His breath got hotter on your neck, bringing his lips closer to nip the skin teasingly. Your fingers tightened in his hair instinctively, tugging on the messy locks as his fingers fucked you closer to your release.

“We need to get out of here.” You half moaned next to his ear, body arching into his hand.

Chanyeol pulled away, eyes meeting your own - the orbs glazed with arousal and need as he surveyed your disheveled form, body succumbed to his fingers. A low growl sounded in his throat as he pulled his fingers out, bringing them to his swollen lips before sucking your wetness off them.

Your breath hitched as you watched him suck your arousal off his fingers, the action sparking a desperation within you.

A desperation for Chanyeol.

“How do we go without the others noticing?” He questioned, helping you off the bench.

A devilish smirk lit up your features as you gestured toward the large window over the expensive bathtub. “How else?”

Chanyeol cocked an eyebrow, walking over to the window and poking his head out in question.

“Yeah, there’s a roof underneath. We can do it.” He turned back around, holding his hand out for you as an invitation.

“We better be quick, the others will be knocking on the door soon.” You noted, grabbing onto Chanyeol’s hand.

He climbed out first - insisting that he’d help you down. His lanky form accidentally banging on the window sill by accident.

“Yeol, be careful.” You giggled, watching him rub his head with a grimace, “They’ll hear us.”

Chanyeol rolled his eyes, helping you onto the platform roof outside the window. “Like they didn’t hear your moans before?” He countered, lips curling into a shit head smirk.

“Shut up.” You wacked his muscly arm gently, poking your tongue out in mock annoyance.

Chanyeol chuckled, the sound hearty in the crisp night air, a small breeze lightly carrying the melody of his laugh away. The moonlight hit his handsome features, the silver beams accentuating his beauty as he smiled at you. It took your breath away, the sound of the raging frat party drowning out in the singular moment on the roof that you shared with Chanyeol.

“I’ll jump down and I’ll help you off, ok?” He asked, walking down to the edge of the roof, being careful not to slip on the tiles.

“Okay.” You spoke, following his careful footsteps to the edge and watching him jump down with ease - his height making it possible to happen without hurting himself.

“Come on.” Chanyeol jokingly urged, his hands reaching up as if he was going to catch you.

You sat on the edge of the roof, being careful not to sit on the gutter as you shimmied to as far as you could get.

“Stop mucking around. Just jump, I’ll catch you.” He waved his hands gently, signalling you into his inviting arms.

You bit your lip gently - it wasn’t exactly the shortest distance down and you were scared you’d hurt him, but you took a leap of faith as you heard Baekhyun crash into the bathroom.

“WHERE ARE YOU SHITHEADS I’VE BEEN KNOCKING FOR THE PAST 5 MINUTES.” Baek’s yell carried out the window, prompting Chanyeol to mutter an urged ‘quick’.

Your eyes widened as you hopped from the edge and landing in Chanyeol’s arms securely.

“What’d I tell ya, baby cakes?” He teased, smirking as he pulled you into his chest.

“Shut up.” You teased back, grinning stupidly as you melted into him, his scent and warmth seeping into you invitingly. A small commotion from the window brought your attention back to Baekhyun, his loud voice being distinctive in the night air as him and a few others talked loudly from the bathroom.

Chanyeol laughed, the delicious sound making your focus on him once again.

“Come on, let’s go.” His hand interlaced with your own as he ran off into the night with you.

“A car?” You cocked your eyebrow, stopping outside a sleek, black mustang. Though it was one of the old ones - the type from the 60s that were hardly around anymore. It suited Chanyeol perfectly, the black leather and retro look fitting his James Dean, ‘bad boy’ aura.

Chanyeol smirked at your question, popping the back door open and waving a hand out for you to enter, “Ladies first.”

You smirked back as you walked up to the door, slipping into the dark interior.

“I parked it out here so no drunk assholes would bang it up.” Chanyeol spoke, closing the door and encasing you both inside, “But I suppose the seclusion is serving another purpose now.”

He started closing the small distance between you both, bringing his body close to your own. Chanyeol’s car smelt so much like him it was intoxicating and with him so close - you were drowning in him.

And you loved it.

“I suppose it is.” You cooed gently, leaning into his broad chest.

Chanyeol didn’t bother replying, his lips finding your own in the dark space, hands silently wandering your body. You kissed back, deepening it as you got hung up in him. His lips moulded with your own perfectly, tongue gently dipping into your mouth as he opened up to you.

A small whimper escaped you as he grabbed your breast harshly, kneading it through the thin fabric of your shirt and bra. Chanyeol growled in response - the sound sending arousal to run through you like a drug as he nipped your lip.

His hands started to wander more, the digits dipping under the hem of your shirt and pulling it over your head as he kissed you harder, more desperately.

“Yeollie.” You moaned the nickname as he pulled away, only to have his lips to crash into your neck, sucking a dark bruise into the sensitive skin.

He broke away again once more, tugging your shirt over your head and discarding it somewhere within the car.

A gasp fell off your lips as you felt the cool night air on your nipples through the thin lace of your bra. Chanyeol smirked as he saw the perky nubs, bringing his fingers up to give one of them a quick pinch. The action sparked a small moan from you, fingers tightening on his shoulders.

“You’re so responsive.” Chanyeol praised breathlessly, ripping the delicate lace off your chest in an effortless movement.

“Fuck.” You breathed into the cabin, watching him discard the wrecked fabric into the depths of the car.

“I’ll buy you a new one.” Chanyeol spoke, bringing your attention back to his lips, the rosy skin brushing against your erect nipple teasingly.

Another moan filled the car as he sucked harshly on the sensitive nub, swirling his tongue around the nipple. He smirked into you, tugging the bud between his teeth, eyes flicking up to meet your own devilishly.

You melted at the eye contact, working your fingers up to tangle in his thick hair and tug gently.

The desperation for him was eating away at you, you needed Chanyeol hard and fast but he was toying with you - pushing you to your limit in the backseat of his car.

He groaned against your skin, the noise sending hot sparks of arousal down your spine as he tugged your panties off under your skirt. You inhaled sharply as the cool air brushed against your wetness, coaxing the hot arousal threatening to drip down your thigh.

Chanyeol’s fingers danced under the hem of your skirt, swiping a digit down your slit before inserting it into your entrance.

“You’re still so wet.” He cooed against your skin, bringing his lips back up to your neck and kissing the sensitive flesh.

You bit your lip in response, too invested in the way his finger twisted around inside of you to be bothered answering. A moan fell off your lips as he added a second finger, eyes meeting your own again as he watched your face contort in pleasure.

The pleasure he was giving you.

“Chanyeol~” You moaned his name into the dark space, whimpering as his fingers curled into your spot and a coil of pleasure built up in your stomach.

“Do you want to cum on my fingers?” His voice was thick, the deep tone touching places and making you feel things you never thought you could from someone’s voice.

“Y-Yes,” You responded, the single syllable hanging breathlessly in the air, “I want you to make me cum, Yeollie.”

Chanyeol moaned, the sound sending you closer to the edge as he elicited the noise at your words. “I want to make you cum,” He groaned heartily into your ear, “I want my fingers to be soaked in you.”

A whimper sounded in the back of your throat as you bucked your hips into him gently, desperate for more as you started to ascend to your high.

You wanted it so bad.

Your walls clenched around him as he added a third finger, bringing the pads of them to rub against your spot deliciously, his thumb already rubbing tight circles against your clit. The sensation was sending the coil in your stomach to tighten, tendrils of pleasure circled your abdomen as you felt your high near, felt the delicious snap of your senses about to explode. You moaned loudly, hoping that the car would conceal your cries of release as you continued to moan.

Chanyeol responded to every sound with harder rubs to your clit, curling his fingers firmer against your spot as you continued to let out the pleasurable noises.

It wasn’t long before his fingers dealt a final stroke that caused you to explode - your body arching in bliss as your orgasm washed over you in powerful waves.

“Chanyeol!” It was the only word you could articulate in the moment his fingers brought you over the edge, your body plunging into the abyss as he let you ride it out.

“Fuck you’re beautiful.” Chanyeol groaned, lips meeting jaw line in sloppy kisses as he pulled his fingers out. Your chest heaved as you tried to regain your breath, attempting to recover from the powerful orgasm he had given you.

Your eyes met Chanyeol’s once more as you splayed out on the leather after being completely wrecked from his fingers alone. He smirked, bringing his lips to your own in a wet kiss.

He pulled away, eyes still trained on your own as he brought the three fingers up to his swollen lips, parting slightly to allow for the digits to enter and be sucked clean. Chanyeol moaned as he tasted you on his skin, the action sparking you to regain your desperation from before.

“Delicious, baby.” He smirked again as he pulled his fingers out, the digits lowering to rest on his belt, “Can I?”

Your eyes widened as they flicked down to his bulge - it was large and you could tell he wasn’t small. A nod was all you could manage, your mouth growing dry at the sight and your pussy clenching around nothing as you watched him unbuckle the leather.

Chanyeol pulled his pants and boxers down enough to reveal his dick. The member was thick and large, the head red and begging for something. He hissed gently as he brought his hand up and down his cock a few times, pumping himself gently.

“You okay with this?” Chanyeol’s eyes bored into your own as you watched him intently.

“Of course.” A smirk fell upon your lips as you waited for him to reach out to you, for him to take you however he wanted, “Take me, Chanyeol.”

The two words were all he needed, eyes glazed in arousal and desperation as he settled his body over your own, laying you down on the leather seat. You gulped, watching him line himself up and get ready to pound you into the backseat.

Chanyeol moaned as he entered you, body flush against your own as he buried himself to the hilt - wasting no time at all. A moan fell off his rosy lips as he worked himself into you, your wetness making it easy for him to slide in. Your own moans mixed with his as you accompanied to the stretch, his considerable length stretching you perfectly.

He started off a gentle pace, allowing you to get used to it, Chanyeol soon got carried away, his hips speeding up with every thrust and his moans becoming more desperate as he started to get a little bit rougher.

He was amazing, his cock perfect and stretching you out in a way that you found no one else did. Your nails dug into his broad shoulders for leverage as he started to get more erratic, thrusting hard and fast into you.

The leather was creaking, the noises of his hips slapping yours and your moans being the only thing filling the cabin of his car. Chanyeol’s moans were even deeper as he was in you, the noises sending you closer to your second high, your walls clenching around him involuntarily.

Your legs wrapped around him tightly, the heels of your feet digging into the small of his back, trying to bury him deeper into you as you arched into his body, a loud moan cascading out of you as he hit your spot.

Chanyeol groaned in response, doing his best to fuck you harder and deeper within the cramped space. The coil in you started to tighten again, the post orgasm sensitivity making it easier to reach as your high loomed before you.

Your moans became more frequent and loud as you started to approach your high, your body and mind lost in the spiral of pleasure that Chanyeol was giving you. Your nails dug deeper into his shoulder blades, leaving angry lines of scratches on his skin through his clothed back.

“Ch-Chanyeol!” You choked his name out through a moan as the pleasure started to build up once more, become unbearable to the point where your orgasm washed over you with a particularly hard thrust from Chanyeol.

His hips stuttered as you came around him, a deep moan filling the space as he tried to thrust through it and guide you through the orgasm. Though he had to pull out, cumming just in time as his seed coated your thighs in a sticky mess of pleasure.

“Fuck.” He muttered into the dark cabin, eyes watching you through the pale moonlight.

You were wrecked, breathing heavy and wasted on the black leather of his backseat. Chanyeol leaned down and kissed you gently, catching your lips in a soft kiss.

“You can call me when you need me,” He muttered into your lips, “I’ll be your temporary fix, babe.”

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