#idk if that's good or bad bc mine is really really questionable

[nyxypoo]

thinking about when the time when me when he when uhm when HANDS FACKKKKK

[thisfanisgonesorry]

groupie love — hobie brown

guitarists dont get as many groupies as you’d think they do. 😮 

tags: smut, vaginal sex, mirror sex, hairpulling, hookups go crazy, dom/sub, teasing/praise kink obv, creampie bc i forgot the condom at home, brief cockwarming. bro is a lovesick idiot fr. possessive as HELL. porn w feelings kinda? infatuation? idk theres feelings! im mentally ill! pussy so good that hes down bad! consent is sexy tho.. parasocial relationships arent

(but it’s so hard sometimes with the star when you have to share him with everybody; and i know what you’re thinking of, you want my groupie love)

🕸️

One thing led to another and he was leading me through the backstage entryway, his arm draped over my shoulder as he walked with a pep in his step, filled with adrenaline and trying to get it out of his system in ways that didn’t end in him pouncing on me. (Though admittedly, that’d be short lived.)

Backstage was mostly empty besides a few select crewmates who overall didn’t seem too phased by my presence. Hobie greeted them as he walked past, as if he knew each one personally. The rest of the band had seemingly dipped, and weren’t too worried about Hobie being missing from wherever they’d gone to hang out.

“Li’l lady wants to check out the green room.” He winked at one of the crew as he continued, dismissing them to give us space. The green room was nice but it wasn’t his destination in mind. He stood there for a minute, looking down at me briefly, before spinning dramatically and pushing his back against the dressing room door, sliding in and pressing me against the wall in a fairly smooth action.

“Don’t think anyone saw that?” I muttered out quickly, it was more of a question as I really didn’t see much from the spin itself, caught a little off guard by the sudden movement and unable to process much until I was pinned firmly against the wall. The dressing room was small, and he took advantage of the fact.

“M’hm, no.” He shook his head, leaning in slightly. “Nah, y’re all mine.” He continued.

His hands lingered on my waist, his fingertips reaching under the fabric and restraining himself as much as he could as he felt the soft skin underneath.

“You seem energised.” I laughed softly.

“I’m fine, jus’ got my blood pumping. Was a good show. Can I kiss you?” He spoke quickly to the point where if you weren’t paying attention, you would’ve missed it. There was a short moment of silence where the air hung heavy as he waited, oh, how he waited so very patiently.

“... Yeah.” I nodded.

His patience ran thin, and his lips harshly made contact with mine, almost pushing my head into the wall. What a way to get a concussion. He groaned into it for a moment, enjoying the taste and licking my bottom lip slightly. My hands loosely hung around his neck, 

“Bloody ‘ell...” He muttered, pulling away and going down my neck. His free hand reached to the door, locking it before anyone could walk in. He was kissing and licking my neck, letting small bitemarks dance across the skin.

He began tugging at the hem of my shirt anxiously, wanting to just strip me bare, bend me over, fuck my brains out, but all in due time.

“Doors soundproof.” He commented. “Let me—”

One arm was wrapped around his shoulders, grabbing a fistful of the leather jacket and tugging on it to beckon him forward as the other grabbed his hand, pushing it closer. In hindsight, it was kind of sweet how certain he was letting things be.

He quickly removed my shirt that had his own band’s logo on it, throwing it to the floor and fumbling on the bra, running his large palms over the fabric. I leaned forward to kiss him again and his hands dropped to my hips, hastily (and harshly) dragging me to the dressing table, pushing me up against it. 

Our lips were reconnected once again, though the kisses were messy. My arm was still around his neck, my other on his chest. His hands began to slightly shimmy down my shorts and he moaned into the kiss. “S’pretty, darlin’, so..” He mumbled breathlessly, pulling away enough to let me kick off the shorts (albeit, struggling to because of my boots) and for him to shrug off his jacket. Both articles disappeared somewhere into the room to be determined later.

My hands lingered to his hips, reaching up and feeling his toned abs from under his shirt. “Y’so hot, Hobie.” I moaned back, feeling the way his stomach tensed under my fingertips.

“What? like ‘m not meant t’be fit?” He tried to joke as he palmed my tits again. 

“Didn’t mean it like that.”

He only responded with a laugh, kissing my neck and collarbone as he removed the bra, thrown to the side and his hands explored downwards in an attempt to remove the last of clothing.

“This aint fair.” I breathed, seeing him still fully dressed.

“Yeh, I know.” He responded, taking his shirt off, another piece lost to the room.

He ended up turning the light off, so the only light in the room was the one radiating from the mirror itself. He looked good like this but I guess that was the point. His face was flushed, it would be hard to tell otherwise if it wasn’t for the heat that it was giving off, you could literally feel it from across the room; his eyes were hyper focused and his lips were swollen slightly.

He leaned forward to kiss me again. “Y’re so beautiful.” He groaned.

“I was about to say the same thing.”

I reached down boldly, my fingers twitching to unbutton his jeans, to pull the zip down, to—

“Y’re gonna hurt y’self.” He joked, swatting my shaking hands away. “Touch yourself f’me.” He asked softly, trying to speak clearly despite his otherwise dishevelled behaviour.

I slid my fingers between my legs, toying with him as he watched between kisses. 

“C’mon, darl’.” He purred sweetly. “Work y’self open f’me, please?”

He swallows the moans that leave my mouth as I push my fingers inside, weakly thrusting as he continues to kiss me, hovering over me as he palms his hardness through his jeans.

“Hobie, c’mon.” I groaned, getting impatient with him. All he wanted to do was toy and tease me; holding me closely as his eyes scanned my naked body like a piece of meat, kissing as much of the flesh as he could, longing for the taste and feel under his lips.

“Alr’, alr’.” He drawled finally.

He pulled away enough to create distance between us, we both stood in anticipation, catching our breath slightly as he unbuttoned his jeans and pulled the zip. The jeans themselves were grungy, and his dick freed itself from the tight confines as quickly as it could, shimmying the jeans down to his thighs.

“No underwear? Anarchist goes commando?” I asked breathlessly as I continued to work myself, yet finding humour in comparing him to a militia.

He sucked in a sharp breath. “Y/n. Don’t.” He warned.

“You go pantless just in case some pretty girl would fuck you tonight?”

I poked my tongue out between my teeth, biting down on it slightly, wanting nothing more than to be testing my luck with him. He grabbed my wrists, removing my hand from my insides and holding the sticky, shiny fingers up. It looked filthy in the bright light, he tutted slightly before licking the fingers clean, grinding his hard cock against the slick folds.

He held both my wrists in place, making it impossible for me to fight him with the movement of his hips, he was careful that he wouldn’t accidentally push himself into me, whether or not that accident was with his own free will or not. He was enjoying this, the torturous nature of it all. Yeah, definitely don’t talk back to him.

“Feels s’good like this.” He tried to speak clearly; “Could jus’ fuck you like this, yeah? Cum all over y’r cunt, don’t even go in?”

“I’m sorry.” I quickly spoke when I realised he could just stay like this.

“You’re sorry?”

“Please, Hobie, fuck me real good. I’m sorry, didn’t mean it.” I pleaded, though he could tell the words were only half hearted.

He tried to laugh but it got swallowed into a groan. He threw his head back and released my wrists. “Yeah, yeah. C’mon.” He spoke, finding amusement in it. He hissed slightly at the loss of contact as he turned me around to look in the mirror, bending me over the dressing table.

His breathing quickened as he admired the view of me bent over the table, elbows supporting my weight and my pretty eyes looking up at him through the mirror. He swallowed thickly, still grinding lazily against the wetness as he tried to shimmy his pants down further, they got about a little past his knees before getting snagged on his boots and he realised that it wouldn’t go much further than that.

“Ngh.. Fuck, y’so good.” He struggled out, a low moan erupting from his throat. “Gettin’ m’cock all nice ‘n’wet.”

“Hobie, I’m sorry.” I threw my head forward, not wanting to look at our reflections. “Fuck me, please, want you.”

“I know.” He groaned as he aligned himself. He gave a harsh tug on my hair, forcibly making me look in the mirror. “Look. Watch.” He panted.

He slid his thickness deep inside in one slow, stuttery motion. I watched carefully, my mouth fell open and my eyes threatened to close. His eyebrows knitted together and his mouth mimicked mine, falling agape.

“Oh my fucking god.” I moaned out, unable to hold my head up but quickly felt the tug on my hair as he held my limp neck in position.

He buried himself completely, “Look at how I’m stretchin’ you out, y/n, my darlin’.” He grinned lopsidedly.

He began thrusting slowly, watching the faces that I made, his eyebrows stayed knitted like he was focused on my expressions and nothing else.

“So good, Hobie.” I muttered, my head threatening to dip forward if it wasn’t for his grip on my hair. I tried to squirm away from him and his grip on my hip got tighter. “So big.”

“Yeah?” He spoke condescendingly, relishing at the way I felt around him. “Y’ve been dreamin’ about this, haven’t ya’?”

“Mhm, all the time.” I moaned quietly. “Fantasise about y’so bad.” 

“I bet’cha always wondered how good I’d feel buried deep in y’cunt.” He commented, picking up his pace as he felt the warmth swallow him perfectly; it wasn’t necessarily rough or fast, but the size of his cock as it nestled all the way in was almost too much. Almost. “The real things s’much better, ain’t it?”

“Ah! Yes!” I cried, reaching back to push at his hips.

“Takin’ me s’well, darlin’.” He groaned, not letting up. He wasn’t being relentless but the position and the harsh pound of his cock was all too much at once, I closed my eyes tight and he fought the urge to give another harsh tug on my hair.

“S’deep, Hobes, baby—” I groaned, though it was immediately followed by pathetic whines which completely diminished the point I was trying to make.

“Why y’pushin’ at me, sweet thing? What’s wrong?” He teased, knowing damn well that there wasn’t the faintest of an issue.

“So deep.. So big. Slow down.”

“What? Y’don’t think y’can take it?” He joked through slurred speech, giving a particularly harsh thrust.

“Mhm!” I jerked forward with a whine, then feeling the harsh tug on my hair as my body pulled away from his tight grip.

“I think y’can take it jus’ fine.” He continued teasing, still desperately nudging my insides. “M’pricks too big f’you, ain’t it, darlin’?”

I shook my head weakly, keeping my eyes glued on his face as he fucked me from behind. “No, mhm— I can take it.” I struggled out.

“Y’doin’ s’good.” He slurred with a groan.

The audible wet sounds began to fill the dressing room and I could do nothing but let out a pathetic whine as I could feel the sticky liquid make a mess on both our thighs. The slickness was making it easier for him to slide in and out, using it to his advantage to fuck into me even harder. It did nothing to ease the slight slapping sound, and if that door wasn’t soundproof like Hobie claimed, we were probably being louder than the show itself was.

I shook my head weakly, jerking forward at his movements and taking whatever he would give me. “So good. So deep. So big.” I rambled, the only words that my brain could come up with at the given moment.

“I want y’to watch, darlin. Look at y’r pretty face as I fuck you.” He spoke, knowing I wouldn’t be able to open my eyes in the slightest, coming across like nothing but a cock drunk groupie whore, though I guess, it wasn’t far off. “Y’re basically droolin’ for me.”

“Keep talkin’ to me like that, holy shit, make me cum.”

“Eyes up here. On me. Y’got it.” He praised, his harsh tugs became more gentle as he got more stern in keeping my eyes on the view. “Keep lookin’, c’mon, darlin’, look. Y’re s’beautiful. All f’me, look at ya. So fuckin’ gorgeous.”

His voice began to ramble, whines and groans leaving his throat at intervals. 

“I’m trying.” I mumbled out; “It’s hard.”

“Darl’, ‘m not gon’ keep tellin ya’ to keep y’head up.” He moaned, removing his hand from my hair and rubbing figure 8’s right where I needed it. “Yeah, y’re gonna take it.” He panted, leaning over my body to press kisses on my shoulder and neck. “Take it, darlin’, doin’ good. Doin’ so good.”

I leaned my head back on his shoulder, looking down through half-lidded eyes at the filthy view of him fucking me into his dressing table.

“See? You can handle watchin y’self gettin’ fucked like a good girl.”

“Hobie, ‘m gonna cum.” I moaned, struggling to watch myself but worried that if I stopped, he’d pull his hands away from me.

“Watch y’self, good girl.” He praised again.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“Fuck, can feel y’squeezin’ me.” He whined. “Cum for me, darlin’, s’pretty when y’clench this big cock, yeah? ‘M stretching it out, y’gonna be so perfect f’me.”

I took a bite out of my knuckle as I felt it hit, he slowed down slightly but kept the movements methodical besides the gradual slowing as he praised me throughout it.

“Hobie—” I cried out.

The way I clenched around him made him harshly hold onto my hip, the moans filled the room loudly as he fucked me through the wave. Small purrs of praise were audible but it was almost impossible to focus.

“You right?” He rasped out, slowing his movements to a halt. He would’ve cum right then and there if he didn’t have half the mind to prolong himself.

“Mhm.” I hummed, dazed and confused. “Keep goin’.” I acknowledged, wanting to make him feel good.

“Wish I could fuck a pretty thing like you after all m’shows.” He spoke sweetly in my ear, thrusting up again for his own orgasm, it started slow but he increased his pace when he began riling himself up with ideas. “Tease y’before so y’re all wet and ready when ‘m done.” He laughed softly. “Y’can help me warm up m’fingers for the guitar.”

He spoke softly and calmly as he could, feeling the wetness twitch around him from overstimulation. He kept this slow as he could, knowing that he didn’t want to end things just yet. His dazed eyes tried to memorise every detail he could; hooking up with a groupie meant the chance of never seeing them again, his movements on my clit picking up too; he was desperate to bring me pleasure, he needed this just as much as I did, which was saying a lot.

I weakly tried to keep my head up, watching his face attentively, he looked completely dishevelled with need; something about this was driving him crazy but all I could focus on was how good he felt.

He started kissing my neck again before deciding to ask a question he knew I probably wouldn’t answer otherwise. “Why ain’t you got’a boyfr’nd?” He grunted over my limp body, feeling himself hit the deepest parts and watching me react to it. My vision would go white and I’d jerk into the feeling.

“Don’t want one. Only want you.” I spoke matter-of-factly despite my dazed demeanour.

“Fuck, Y/n, Don’t say that.” He choked. “Wan’ keep you all f’myself.”

I groaned, pressing myself closer against his body. His arms wrapped around my torso, pulling me to stand upright and my arms reached around to touch him the best I could, though his hand stayed glued to the pussy that he’d grown infatuated with.

“Y’re gonna be thinkin’ about this for a long time, yeah?” He breathed. “Gonna think about m’cock fuckin’ into y’cunt?”

“Hobie—”

“I feel y’gettin’ close again. God, want y’so fuckin’ bad.”

His hand took a faster pace than what it previously was, rubbing hard and fast circles into my clit, wanting to feel me be undone on him when he cums.

“Better than I could’ve imagined.” I panted in admission.

“Y’re.. ‘M right there.” He moaned. “Y’so hot, makin’ me s’hard. Gonna make m’cum.”

There was nothing I could do to respond besides lewdly take what he was giving me, nodding weakly and trying to watch the view in front of me. He looked so beautifully debauched, and feeling his ragged breathing against my spine was something I didn’t know I needed to feel, something I unknowingly longed for.

“Mhm, y’can stay wit’ us.” He nodded, as if what he was rambling made any sense. “Bring you along, keep you f’shows. Darlin’, you’d be my perfect li’l groupie..”

His pussy-whipped drunk ramblings sounded like a love confession as he neared his release, knowing he didn’t want it to be over so soon but desperately wanting to feel the warm, tensing tightness around him as he filled me as much as he could.

“I want you, I want you.” I nodded back, too cock-drunk to care. 

“Cum f’me, y/n, cum with me, need— Oh fuckin’ shit.”

He groaned as he felt the clenching of my walls around his hard cock, desperately wanting to take him for all he’s got. Give it to me, give it to me, give it to me is the only phrase that repeated in my head as I felt the twitching and nearing signs.

“Give it to me, please, give it to me.” I pleaded through orgasm.

His body shook with want and he forced his eyes to stay open, needing to watch this unfold before him in a weak attempt to convince himself that it was real. Keenly watching the way my face contorted as I came on him, my eyes barely open enough to see the way his face mirrored mine. He let out small pants and whines, before his hips pushed deeply, his hips stuttering weakly as he filled me with his cum.

I felt the warm liquid between my legs, throwing my head back and sighing as I tried to relax from the high. Beautiful afterglow; beautiful boy. He collapsed forward slightly, holding me in place but using one arm to support us.

“It’s a really nice tour bus. Don’t even need y’own bed, just sleep in mine.” He continued in a whisper, pressing a soft kiss into the sticky flesh of my neck, nuzzling the hair away.

We stood for a moment before he pulled a chair from the side of the dressing table, slowly sitting us on it and keeping the position, his arms wrapped around me tightly like he never planned to let go.

I squirmed at the feeling. “Mhm.. Y’think?” I laughed softly; not taking him close to serious.

His eyes were heavy and he continued to look at us in the mirror, an unreadable expression as he buried his head behind my shoulder, his eyes barely poking above the flesh for him to admire the view. “I’m serious.” He mumbled awkwardly before going to a complete whisper. “Stay?”

[girl-dot-tzt]

Alright results are in, I'm not allowed to finish for 36 days 🙃

Im going to update this as a lil diary to keep me honest💃

Day 1: I'm feeling pretty good, I notice I get really horny when I take my prog the ✨️fun way✨️ so I'm going to use that method to increase the challenge this month. I'm thinking of meeting a friend tomorrow so I'm excited!

Day 2: more of the same, pretty standard, had a great time with said friend. Getting a teeny but pent up but nothing crazy yet.

Day 3: getting more pent up but it's still manageable, made the mistake of reading a ton of horny posts and getting myself really horny. Thankfully I calmed down and now I'm good to go

Day 4: went to work, did some bike wrenching, now im boutta sleep. pretty uneventful but I'm meeting a good friend of mine tomorrow so I plan on making up for the lack of horny twofold. I need to get some Oregonian mutuals bc I'd like to bite someone :3

Day 5: got my tits fondled for like 3 hours while I watched anime and got insanely high, I need like 4 people to hold me down and grope/tease/fuck me... preferably all at once. I've got 31 more daysssssss, does it count if it's hands free? 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️

Day 6: got no sleep, very horny, idk what direction Is up, and I need an answer to the question from yesterday 😫

Day 7: got sleep but not railed because if I get railed too well I'll could possibly finish and idk if that's OK yet :3. I'm going to mountain bike today! I'm super excited bc I need something to take the edge off, if I'm really unlucky I'll get too horny from the idea of getting fucked in the woods and make an update here.

Day 8: we're evening out a little, this may not be impossible, tbf I haven't had time to do much lately so when I finally get the time to ride my toys that might change. I'm planning on doing that tomorrow :3

Day 8 update: I accidentally took two progesterone pills because I boof mine, but I accidentally muscle memory-ed taking my prog orally. Got so horny during work that I nearly cried.

Day 9: I broke some spokes while mountain biking and now I'm sad, but horny and frustrated too. I can only think about being bred, but also being sad that my bike broke, damn fucking stupid sticks getting inbetween my fucking spokes. I need railed bad, etcetera etcetera

Day 10:

Girl abs, that is all

Day 11: I'm going to fuck myself on the biggest toy I own until I'm crying or edging with my Pspot🧍‍♀️ I will return

Day 12: I'm pretty sure I ended up getting edged. Pretty sure because I've never actually finished hands free before and my vibrator died right before I was about to finish. One of you witchy mother fuckers knew I was about to cheat or something, no other explanations, couldn't possibly be that I forgot to charge toys like a dumbass. Laugh it up, I got edged hard by my ADHD.

Days 13: I had a threesome and it was awesome! I explained my agreement to them and got teased a bunch as me and my friend dommed the fuck out of a gorgeous girl. We groped and kissed and sucked all over her body as she got more and more worked up, until eventually I was fucking her with my big purple vibrator and she came hands free for the first time! We made sure to shower her with all kinds of praise and congratulations 💃💃

Days 14-16: started a new job, I'm getting so horny these days that rather than feeling butterflies it's like an almost painful NEED. Like I just desperately need to get tied up and ground into dust, getting edged with my vibrator did a number on me because I'm a mess rn���

Days 17-20: if I may be honest i embarked on this endeavor to try to finish hands free, I've never done it before but I desperately want to. I think I'll be able to do it by the end of these 36 days or sooner. Idk it's just a hunch🧍‍♀️

Day 21-29: 10 hr shifts in a lab will drive you nuts when there's nothing to think about but getting railed and ice cream percentages. On the plus side I am not only paid but required to eat ice cream every hour at my job. On the downside, I got so horny I cried last night🧍‍♀️😵‍💫😵‍💫

[ganondoodle]

this isnt a call out for anyone; i keep getting asked why i even post my opinions on the internet if i dont want to argue whenever i mention how tired i am of people trying to argue with me or proof me wrong

and i just ... for one its bc there are people that have told me they like hearing my opinions bc it makes them feel less alone, its validating to hear that i am not alone and i make them feel less alone (this is a big reason)

then theres the thing .. do you feel good never saying your opinion on anything and just keeping everything to yourself? be it big or small, i tried to do that for years, just trying to crawl deeper and deeper into a hole bc clearly i am the problem and should be able to deal with everything on my own, never say anything, i could be annoying, i could be a burden, and it nearly killed me; i have very few friends and i already spam them enough to feel constantly guilty

and if i did that on some private account ... what use is that, thats the same thing as not saying anything, whats the use of saying anything when no one listens, even to select few, whats the point if others cant find it, there might be people i dont know at all that would find solace in hearing my stupid ramblings about games

its true i lack self control and just tend to talk about stuff when i feel the need of talking, but is that really so bad?

correct me if im wrong but i was never of the impression that posting something on the internet automatically means wanting to debate and argue unless you specifically say or initiate it on someone elses post? like thats why i pretty much always make my own post to complain and dont go on other peoples posts of opposing views, id view the latter as an invitation to argue moreso than the former

when i post some stupid opinion (im talking about harmless personal video game opinions mind you) on my own account who am i bothering, if people agree thats great! if they dont they can just move on- i know people love to discuss and share different opinions but the the ones i most often encounter are ones where its a basically trying to start a fight over whos more right (like theres always one correct opinion to have) or just telling me i am not allowed to feel like i feel-

im aware i cant expect everyone to be able to see a differeing opinion and move on without saying anything, but when i say something, unless its specifically a question, i just do it to vent, to let my thoughts out so they dont slowly gnaw at me, maybe find validation in others also thinking like that (i know i cant also expect everyone to think that way .. i just see it as a form of politeness? sorta?); in all honesty, i dont do it to get told opposing opinions (i know thats maybe a little ... idk, selfish i guess?) bc i usually have seen or heard those already and am saying mine bc i havent seen it before or very very little- what i think is often very much not the majority so the need to say something gets greater the more i see somethign i dont agree with, like an urge to balance it? a call to see if i am alone or not? and much less so to argue or debate over something like that, im tired and exhausted at all times, and have often trouble even getting myself to draw, i dont enjoy fights of any kind, and especialyl so when its about something so completely ignorable like a game opinion i only said bc i wanted it out of my head and bc i have seen that the majority seems to be of a different one

like a sticky note on a wall, not an invitation to a political meeting?

maybe this is something i need to work on and get better at, i havent found a way that lets me get rid of my thoughts in a way that doesnt leave me feeling guilty (like spamming my friends) or to gnaw at me (not saying anything, or somewhere no ones gonna hear it)

i know im incapable of shutting up ever (though at least i got a better control over my emotions by now) and i risk accidentally seeming like im inviting people to a fight but i dont know what else to do

maybe its something i horribly missunderstood about the internet, but its my only outlet for that, i dont have anyone IRL to talk to about my interests, maybe its a flaw that needs work, maybe its just a flaw, i dont know :/

[mommyashtoreth]

what are your most hated popular aziraphale and crowley mischaracterizations

GREAT question I fucking love complaining

Not to sound contradictory right off the bat but for Az it's both like. "Aziraphale is mean" and "Aziraphale is SO cartoonishly nice that he can't even fathom of anything that could be construed by anyone as being somehow 'bad'", because I think both are really fundamental misunderstandings of Aziraphale as a dramatic character for the former and as a comedic character for the latter. "Aziraphale is mean" seems to be based entirely on the ending of s2 and I've certainly said my piece about that already, but to summarize I think it's a bad reading of that scene and I find "actually Aziraphale is manipulative and mean and Crowley is 100000% always in the right and never did anything wrong ever" to make for a much more boring story than what we've actually got. On the other hand, boomeranging right into the other direction and making Aziraphale way too nice is ALSO something I find boring, but in a more standard "fandom flanderization" type of way. Like, I'm sure you've seen something where Aziraphale is so nice and good and pure and soft and sweet and smol cinnamon roll needs protection that he passes out whenever someone says the word "penis." And I find that boring! It's a bad way to engage with his joke. Aziraphale IS nice, genuinely, and he's good to people and helps people and loves humanity, but also like, he's smug and he lies and he says guns lend weight to a moral argument and is kind of a cunt in ways people don't give him credit for. And that's good! That's awesome. He's really really really funny and I obviously really really like him. Basically I wish people knew how to balance "Aziraphale is nice" and "Aziraphale is a bitch" bc both are true and it's a fine-tuned craft managing to depict both at once

Crowley is harder to pin down... idk I just Also find a lot of fandom Crowley very boring in very similar ways, either stripping him down (God I wish) to form one half of a very basic very boring Good Guy Vs. Bad Guy dynamic, or making him this like Sexy Domineering Alpha Male Daddy Dom type that I find very boring. Not that I think Crowley can never be sexy or domineering, my url is literally, yknow, that, but I think all his "evilness" has an almost playful nature to it where like you know he's having fun with it, OR I like when it feels like he's doing it as a job. like Oh, fuck, have to make the quota today. Gotta go cause a pileup. I think people generally tend to make Crowley either too serious or too nice, and he IS nice, there's a guarded softness in like both renditions of the character that IS very important, but he's still Also kind of a bitch! And that's fun! Idk people always make "sin" out to be some huge thing like "Crowley has to literally murder a child" which makes for good conflict, but there's also little stuff that he's a) good at and b) likes doing, like causing traffic jams and moving construction poles around and just like, generally annoying people and I think that's really really funny. I read a fic once where she would order pizza for delivery to other people's houses, and I'm still workshopping mine where she, like, convinces this rich guy to invest in a bad industry so when his stocks plummet he'll be insufferable to be around (also bc greed is a sin. There are sins besides lust! Animals), and that's fun! And honestly Crowley's fun even when he's down in the dumps, he's funny when he gets annoyed with Aziraphale or when he gets angry at Gabriel or whatever. I wish people tapped into that more! Idk I also clearly like Crowley a lot I think we could hang out I could grab a beer with him and play Bowie and Brian Eno on the jukebox, and a lot of fandom Crowley does not feel like somebody I could grab a beer with. Let him loosen up! Misery is fun to write but all work and no play makes Tony a dull boy

[p0rk-guts]

waitt but what's different about your ocified velvette... i like her a little but find myself wanting more substance from her in canon tbh

TEEHEE WHAT A GOOD QUESTION I TOTALLY DIDN'T SET PPL UP TO ASK ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay sew me and @ajistorpid were talking and they inspired a good chunk of my ideas so you can blame them for feeding my sick delusions.

Read more just like last time bc I talk too much sorry but there's art in there too oooo you should look u should read my ramblings

As far as I know, Velvette has no canon age at death, cause of death, or death date so based on what we know we just crafted our own headcanons. AJ proposed she might've had parents who ran one of those family vlog channels with her as the face of it, becoming a child influencer under her parents' control. I was thinking she could've been a child model- yk like. dance moms or something. Idk I don't remember what was happening on that show— anyways. Yea

Either way she grew up constantly controled and perfection was her standard. All of her outside thoughts and feelings and interests and opinions were constantly dismissed in favor of what made her more marketable. She never did get that popular in life tho, and her mentors always shamed and blamed her for it.

Idk if this is canon or not, but the idea of the sinners designs reflecting their vices or things they regreted or hated in life is an untapped gold mine to me so that could explain where Velvette's supposed doll and clown themes come from. Became a toy dressed up and paraded around for the entertainment of others + joke never taken seriously. She'd hate that

(As for how that ties into my redesign…. me and AJ were thinking she could be a vampire doll, but I'm not sure IDK I wanna sketch that out and see what it's giving)

In hell she easilly fell back into this warped facsimile of her old life bc it was all she knew. "she feels some form of pseudo control and enjoyment because she has no one pulling her strings now" (<-AJ) SHE'S running things!!! Who's the puppet now!!!!!!

Then THAT had me thinking too because now that I think about it. Why Is she the backbone of the V's?? She's like. An undergrad student in my mind at the MOST and Vox and Val are two men pushing 40 I'm sure. I think a big part of it is the fact that those two are almost complete and utter buffoons who let their emotions cloud their actions constantly, Valentino most obviously but even tho Vox seems more composed like when he's talking Val down from his outburst and when he was talking to the press, we can still see he's a total mess—especially where Alastor is concerned. He lost it so bad during their duet HE SHORTED PENTAGRAM CITY'S POWER.

Now out of all the V's we've seen the least of Velvette (I'd call it what it is but yall gon get real mad at me), The most we really got out of her character was the overlord meeting (and despite her huge ego and unruly behavior she did end up speaking facts), so maybe she Is just as unstable as them in canon but canon is SHIT and this isn't about canon anymore. In my mind she's very much in charge of the back end of their work. Vox is obviously the head of the operation—or at least he seems like it to me—what with the tech company having his name and with him answering the interviews, but I think that's all he is. The figure head. Velvette is the brain behind it all. When Vox proposes new buisness endeavors off the cuff she's the one who goes back and makes sure they're getting handled properly because he doesn't really dig into the backend of how things happen. Vox goes to most of the conferences or whatever (Vel's too busy running her shows and serving cunt after all) but Vel follows up on what was learned.

(also yeah all that makes this very much an au of an au bc it'd take a lot of radical changes for the two of them to be friends I think. It's fun to imagine anyway)

Quoting AJ here bc I'm bad at paraphrasing and they said it well:

"And if we're going to make her sympathetic, (obviously not excusing her enabling a rapist) Val and Vox are grown ass men and she never got to experience the world outside a camera

Velvette is easily malleable with no real relationships!! Some victims tend to gravitate towards people who are similar to their abusers the only exception is that she feels like she has control this time"

THIS this. THIS! Okay uhh vague personal experience w/ abuse cw ig. skip this paragraph if you don't wanna hear it. But It kinda reminds me of my relationship with my parents- NOT THAT I SEE THEM AS TWO DADS AND A DAUGHTER I DO NOT BELIEVE IN THAT NOTION IN A POST PILOT WORLD If future content proves me wrong it proves me wrong but at this moment they're all equals in my mind (…and I hc them as poly BUT WE'LL GET THERE) but In my situation it's like. I hate my parents for the abuse they've caused me, my mom more than my dad bc she's satan incarnate, but there are still things I like about my dad and. Tolerate. About my mother. We still can talk cordialy and spend time together, have fun together even, and I show affection to them, but deep down I know I wanna cut my mom off later and maybe my dad too depending. Additionally my mom is completely Incompatent and pulls none of her weight so despite it all I've been forced to pick up the slack and become half the brains of this family. I do chores she should take care of. Handle money. Make important decisions about our health and safety she doesn't care about.

AAAny ways. This is so my version of Velvette. No I'm not projecting (I am). She pulls a big chunk of the weight around there (some of it being carried by Vox and virtually none by Val). She's very close with the two of them but isn't a fan of everything they do (Cares more for Vox than Val in my mind). Speaking of, she definitely isn't some saint now, she still makes the love potions and is Impassive to both Val and Vox's behavior, but part of that Is her just seeing it as part of the business. Shady practices and exploitation are par for the course in any business to her. She never truly grew out of the harmful mindsets ingrained into her by whoever her enabling caretakers were in life and they're still apparent in hell. (Maybe she even experienced some of the darker sides of exploitation in life but was groomed into thinking it was okay contributing to why she doesn't see Valentino's actions as heinous. Idk. thinking on it)

Circling back to my poly V's idea. Idk it just seems plausible to me. Vox and Val already have their whole thing going on, they all live together, and they all have nicknames for each other (Vox calling her my dear, Val calling her baby doll, Vel calling Vox darling). Ik that could just be their personalities and the pet names don't have to mean anything more but this is MY au and my word is gospel hope this helps. It just makes sense

I could go on and ON about the toxic insanity of the Poly V's in my mind— particularly between Vox and Valentino— but this is NOT their post so maybe next time. As for Velvette, I get the vibe that she'd be intimate with both of them and enjoy it but she's never the one to initiate anything. Sometimes they're all like this 🤞🏾 and others the boys are a complete turn off to her (main example being the difference in her attitude towards Vox in episode 3 vs episode 8). Her tolerance of them flips on a dime depending on how they're acting. She also prefers to be a casually entertained observer to VoxVal more often then not (ex. end of episode 8 imo)

Boys aside. My Velvette is still a social media influencer and she's all about advertising. advertising products (like the love potion), clothing looks, technology... Heck even herself. "You're nobody if you don't wear this or use this or look like this ^ - ^". Projecting on her even further by making her have a love/hate relationship with her profession aka the modeling aspect of it: she's always had a genuine love for fashion and dressing up but the internal pressure for perfection she's placed on herself makes it hard for her. She's very hard on her models and designers bc of this

Couldn't think of a segway for this but also WHAT HAPPENED TO VELVETTE WANTING TO FIGHT THE ANGELS??? The "full assault plan" against the angels??? And then when the fight actually came they were all just lounging around watching it go down like it was afternoon tv????? This isn't even a "we'll get to it in season 2" thing did they honest to god forget? Did that line not mean anything??

Well I didn't forget and it's pissed me off since my first rewatch of that meeting scene. Don't think we don't know how the V's got the angel head, but In my head Velvette was the one who initially proposed the idea for an assault against heaven and her insatiable need to feel respected and feared only spurred this plan on, incredible risk be damned.

It also felt weird to me that Velvette just. Let it go when Carmilla said the meeting was over. Just. "Oh ok! Plan cancelled no more attacking heaven ^ - ^ I'm gonna go scroll for the rest of the show!" Hu h. My au-ified Velvette would definitely fight her on it— if she thought killing angels would change the game and Carmilla held the secrets behind it she would pry! Blow up at her about it until she wasn't getting results and bitterly storming off with as much composure as she could muster. Not wanting to team up with Carmilla but find some way to use her for all she was worth and get her way in the end, use the power and resources the V's had to actually make a plan. Would it have worked without the Morningstars? Eh. Either way I'm sure she could delude herself into thinking they were the most powerful people in hell. Ugh I don't wanna make an au rewrite of the show and I that was never my plan so idk where that'd go but. Yea

ANYWAYS anyways. wow you made it to the end somehow! Here's your treat :3

Context u didn't ask for: Some days Velvette overwhelms herself with her own impossible expectations. Nothing she creates or puts out is good enough. She gets extra anxious about her following; nothing's happened to them, but what if they see the miniscule flaw in her latest clothing that she sees? What if she's no longer perfect? (Even worse in the vamp Velvette redesign of her bc she literally feeds off their attention and admiration)

She'll snap at everyone and disapprove of every look and then hole herself away somewhere where she crashes and is just. So. Tired. But she'll be out of it the next day, ready to keep the conveyor rolling.

[ohimsummer]

OBVIOUS?? I DID NOT KNOW MERFOLK EAT HUMAN PEOPLE HELP??);&:&

OMG NO I MEANNTTT 😭 us, as in... our... coochie 😞

okay bf i go further detail into a hc of mine about this—yesss, i think little fishies are reasonable and seaweed food for them. i can see merman!satoru being like "fish are friend, not food... until i'm hungry 😁" and i agree w the hunting bigger types of fish like sharks. it's a way to show his dominance 😈 he's alpha like that

anyway, about us being the obvious food !! (yapping activate) — i hc merfolk don't really eat the pussy equivalent of mermaids, bc anatomy and stuffff. i don't think it's possible, or like just reallyyyy difficult to get around w, but mostly the former

soooo, imagine merman!satoru's surprise when u tell him humans can 'eat out' women and he's like "humans what 😧!?". once u explain it to him, u teach and let him try to do it w u

next thing u know, u've accidentally created a monster. he's damn addicted to it and u can't even be mad bc he's so good at it. ofc he is, u taught him after all !! 😍

sorry for yapping so much, um... have a good day, snookums <333

OH….yeah yeah I….i knew that…….🌚

PLS merman! satoru thinks little fishies are cute but he also Torments Them…chasing them down in the water (for them it’s a high-speed chase and for him it’s more like…whatever their version of a brisk walk is) he out here cornering the fish n got em scared for their lives just to be like ‘nahh I’m just messing with ya 😼or am I….NAHHH I’m kidding I’m kidding….👀” he is a menace both on land and in water 😭

him and merman! suguru out here tussling with sharks for fun as kids…do you guys know that lion king scene when they’re in the elephant graveyard and then the hyenas chase after simba and nala. okay that has happened to merman! stsg because they were some BAD ASS LIL GUPPIES IN PLACES THEY SHOULDNT HAVE BEEN‼️exploring a whale graveyard and got caught by some sharks. satoru was beefing with sharks for years after that smh

I forgot where I saw it but I am stealing the idea—female merfolk have their mermussy as like, a slit on the front ? Sort of like in the area where the coochie would be but it’s on the front (I am going to say also well-disguised with scales so their mermussy isn’t just. Obviously Out 🌚. idk. maybe they only use them for reproduction and not really for pleasure. idk 😭)

ORAL WILL BE HIS DRUG!!! I am imagining merman! satoru with a slightly longer tongue so whewwww….yes he is a PRO!!!! might not even really know what he’s doing but his tongue is long and able to get some REACH so it doesn’t matter. he’s waiting for you at the dock every time you come to visit him. You’re trying to get info about merfolk life and he’s just rushing through the questions because he knows you’ll let him eat you out at the end.

[stuckinmymind22]

one piece character's top 5 taylor swift songs

in honor of the last weekend of the eras tour here’s what i think one piece characters would listen to overall their favorite is no body no crime tbfh (followed by fearless lol)

it’s my blog and i’ll use any excuse to mush my 2 favorite things together

ft: the straw hats (as i currently know them), ace, shanks, vivi, buggy

might add more characters when i meet them idk

the straw hats

luffy

casual listener, knows all the hits

our song

the fearless big three (fearless, you believe with me, love story) loves to sing them, doesn’t know the words

unapologetic ME! lover

zoro

was difficult bc he lowkey feels like the type of guy that isn’t really into music

likes blank space alright, geeze, stop asking him

lowkey fucks with reputation, will never say it but he does

false god

fw nbnc too

he’ll never say it but the smallest man who ever lived is really good

nami

she grew up on taylor, not a diehard swiftie but def knows most of her discography fav album: either speak now or midnights

should’ve said no girlie for sure

the way i loved you

better than revenge

vigilante shit

you’re on your own kid

bonus: who's afraid of little old me? WHAT IF HE'S WRITTEN MINE ON MY UPPER THIGH

usopp

definitely a taylor fan, borderline swiftie (was hard to cut his down) fav album: ...1989

fearless for sure, will sing it with luffy at any party

we are never ever getting back together

bad blood ft kendrick lamar (you forgive you forget but you never let it GO)

question…?

ONLY IN MY MIIIIIIIIIND

bonus: girl at home (sings it with luffy, who doesn't really know the words), look what you made me do, midnight rain

sanji

this one was the easiest by far lol, definitely a swiftie fav album: fearless

teardrops on my guitar (he thinks it’s relatable, but would never say it, can catch him listening to it sad after he found out a pretty girl was in a relationship)

you belong with me (see above)

enchanted (ofc enchanted is on here)

sad, beautiful, tragic (same reason as teardrops on my guitar)

believe only or not, i did something bad

chopper

tbh it was hard to pair his down, like this was over 10 songs long originally, but idk if he’d qualify as a swiftie

LOVES love story

wildest dreams (loves doing the aha-ah parts)

gorgeous

it's nice to have a friend

no body no crime

robin

enjoys her music but not into any artist enough to be qualified as a “fan” (also hard to cut down bc she would relate to a lot of songs tbfh) favorite album: ttpd, specifically the anthology

mary’s song (thinks it’s really cute)

haunted

clean

the archer

the prophecy hits really hard for her

franky

likes her more than he is willing to admit

picture to burn

mr perfectly fine (yes he knows the vault tracks, doesn't make him a swiftie 🙄)

22

style (thinks it’s about him)

florida!!! (the drums man)

ONE SLIP AND FALLING BACK INTO THE HEDGE MAZE

other characters

ace

not a swiftie, just really into music in general and some of that just happens to be taylor swift

cries listening to a place in this world

i can see you

i knew you were trouble

this is me trying (also cries)

WHAT A WAY TO DIE

bonus: i know places, no body no crime, cowboy like me, and the way i loved you

shanks

doesn’t talk about it but will admit he loves her if you ask fav album: too hard to chose, maybe folklore or speak now he's not sure

should’ve said no (will sing it when drunk enough when any word that reminds him of the song is spoken)

dear john

red

illicit affairs

no body no crime

bonus: wonderland, i think he knows, and maroon

vivi

yes she’s a swiftie, why do you ask? favorite album: red

you belong with me (for sure her fav)

began again

the lucky one

betty

would’ve could’ve should’ve

buggy

of course he’s a swiftie that’s not even a question fav album: lover

you’re not sorry

atwtmvtvftv (has the scarf AND the hat, you don’t get it like he gets it)

you need to calm down

claims folklore is a skip and only likes long story short on evermore

mastermind (thinks its relatable, practically written for him lol)

bonus: end game, cruel summer, down bad

[incoherent-orca]

💭

🐳

im really trying not to but damn,,,,,, im falling off malevolent

the entire last quarter of s4 and s5 so far are so ,,,,,,oddly packed with explanatory monologues and people giving extremely detailed character analyses of ??? themselves ?????

idk i just had to power through The Witch. like this woman just killed the most important guy in your life, possibly permanently, why are u letting her ask questions like its a job interview

frankly why are u justifying urself to her at all? John's return from the dark world and his deal with Kayne are things he hasn't even told Arthur, his closest friend, why is he laying it all out for some hostile stranger who asks leading questions ??

that's another thing! the witch herself is so inconsistent

does she respect John's innate power or not? does she recognize him as a godly being regardless of whether she recognizes his titles or not ?? because if Hastur/KiY doesn't matter to her because those are the gods her enemies worship, why does she give two shits about freeing John from his flesh prison?

it doesn't make sense that she's like "Hastur? idk and idc" and flexes her magic on John, then becomes subservient to him when he pretends to embrace the KiY title again

the monologues are also so,,,, unprompted and jarring. john sweetie you did not need to recite your essay about what you believe humanity and morality is

and idk the way the writing treats the concept of "humanity" just does not vibe with me, especially in The Witch ep. so the witch comes from a line of women mistreated by society so badly that she's given up hope on the human race as a whole,,,,, and the writing chucks her in the "monster" box wholesale because she has no hope and does creepy slimy things in a cave? is that not an absolutely tragic showcase of how humans can be monstrous and how things that are monster-ed & othered by society are still people?

you go through all this trouble to set up monstrous characters to juxtapose against John and emphasize how different he is, but it falls flat when the witch actually??? has a pretty good reason for turning out the way she did, and the writing gives her the barest crumbs of sympathy

has she not seen the cruelty humans are capable of? doesn't she love her maggots like a mother? why does she get slapped with the label monster and nothing else?

EDIT bc i am not immune to the spirit of the staircase:

for a show where one of the protagonists is a monster finding his humanity and regret, it seems so disinterested in exploring any other monster character. LIKE let's not forget that besides the monster-of-the-week in s1, John was the closest thing we had to an antagonist, and his arc is still one of my favorites ever. he does horrible, cruel shit, but is able to feel remorse and make some kind of amends towards Arthur. and John as the voice of morality in the mines? so fucking good

but in The Witch ?? it's such a one-sided conversation. the writing (through John) does not give a damn about the witch's trauma except in how it can be used to poke flimsy questions at John's identity. there's no fascination at all in the monsters. That's exemplified in how it's only sympathetic to John to the extent that he rejects his nature, which is a shame because holy shit John has a working monster form now!!!

YET ANOTHER EDIT:

I'm not exactly mad that arthur died but,,,, i AM disappointed that harlan did that ? the whole fake-out death. i feel like respecting the permanence of death is ,,,, idk a better writing choice. it takes more to pull that off, because you can't return to the status quo of your story AND find a way to continue the plot while providing space for grief

I get that it was meant to be a consequence of the patrons making a bad choice or something,,,, but surely there are other long-lasting effects that don't involve cheapening any consequence from now on ?

idk, any death of arthur from now on will always lack impact, because I'll be squinting at it suspiciously and thinking "well there's precedent for reversing protag death in this show, how do we know this is the real shit?"

then the show will have to spend an unnecessary amount of time providing evidence as to why he can't be brought back this time, and by then any emotional impact will be kind of dulled

[theodoraflowerday]

heartstopper s3e7 live episode reaction

oh my god

these bitches horny. good for them. good for them

tara's so pretty :(

NOT NICK WANTING TO POUNCE ON CHARLIE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RUGBY FIELD

"why are you looking at me like that" he wants to redacted your redacted and redacted you redacted with redacted and redacted for redacted

like let's keep up charlie boy you know what we're getting at

lets_get_it_on.mp3

NICKTARAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

lesbian and bisexual himbo supremacy. we got adora and bow, we got tara and nick.... who else do we need

they can afford durex condoms for sex ed??? is truham like a fancy private school or what

"ughhhh so slimy" SAME TAO AKDLDJDLDKD

I only use condoms to cover up ultrasound probes tho but every time I touch one I'm like D: idk how people with dicks do it

harry is so disgusting lmao

"I could tell she really wanted it" you wouldn't know what a woman wants if she spelled it out for you my brother in christ

the std images akfjdkfkdkf who among us wasn't traumatized by std pictures (which is fun bc now I work with stds all the time and it's not that bad)

CHLAMYDIA = BAD JAKDJDKFJDKFJFKFJFDKGUFIFDOGIDIFIDO

oh elle baby

NOT FUCKIN DAVID

WHY'S THIS BITCH HERE

they're so flustered oh my god

the texts :(

OH TARA AND DARCY

oh okay that was...... that sure was something huh

oh my fucking god

bro nick is so fuckin cute

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

worse than mr farouk nominating charlie is mr farouk AND mr ajayi teaming up to nominate charlie???? that was SO cute wtf

I'm so glad elle has naomi and felix :(

ARE YOU TRYING TO PEEK? IT'S ALLOWED WE'RE IN LOVE

i might genuinely die

MICHAEL

bro I see michael and my entire world lights up i love him *so* much I truly think he's my favorite osemanverse character

"my advice is to sneak out" "my advice is that you don't need a sleepover for the activity in question" lmao they're horrible influences both of them

I HOPE YOU GET TO HAVE YOUR SEX SLEEPOVER DOFLDGJDLFJDLFK

MICHAEL HOLDEN YOU ARE THE *LOVE* OF MY *LIFE*

"michael, can you stop talking about my brother having sex?" "sorry 😬" god I love him so much

not everybody being this invested in getting nick and charlie to have sex skfjslfjslfjdl

YOU HAD SEX AT SCHOOL?!?!!??!?!

he's SO SCANDALIZED JSKFJSKFJSKFJDKF

"and also we have a history of getting walked in on" RIGHT? like they better get a hotel room or something, my god

bro I will literally tattoo every nicktara scene on my tits they're SO beautiful

YES TARA VALIDATE HIS EMOTIONS

"oh, nick, I'm not really the person to ask about sex between guys" "....yeah, fair enough" I LOVE THEM /SO/ MUCH UBDJFKDJFLDKFLDKF

NONBINARY DARCYYYYYYYYYYY

oh man im so fucking overwhelmed. this season's got me overwhelmed.

tori going "we all love nick" like :( best in laws :(

tbf I still think charlie went about it in the wrong way, like jane isn't even *wrong* about the exams thing but also he's 16 and horny so like...

um. okay. so that was the most over the top romantic thing in the PLANET what the FUCK tao can you be normal??? can you not raise the bar so high????????

oh is it really a heartstopper season if nick isn't looking at pictures of charlie and feeling Things?

oh he sure is Feeling Things huh

NO NICK NOT THOSE THINGS

oh thank god charlie is here

oh hold on

pause

charlie is here

I know what happens here

oh my god I'm not prepared

bro

no

oh my god

oh my god no I'm not prepareeeedddddd

yeah well if they're ready I have to be ready

"you give me so much confidence" he really does :( and it makes me so sad like nick baby you're a wonderful person :(

"I can't talk to anyone else like I talk to you" GODDDDDDD

"basically I'm freaking out" oh he's so right so am I

"I think we're both a bit of a mess" AND YOU'RE ABOUT TO MAKE A MESS AM I RIGHT

THE MUSIC IS INTENSIFYING

that's more @ me cause I'm not fuckin calm

"char, this is literally the only thing I've been able to think about" SCREAMS AND CRIES

THERE'S SO MUCH ELECTRICITY

OH HE FLIPPED HIM

OH M TGOD

DYA WANT MINE OFF? YEAH

[to the tune of hot to go] W H O R E S YOU ARE CURRENTLY HAVING SEX

THE H AND GOLD

THE? BUTTON?????

WHY ARE YOU UNDER THE XOVERS

WHERE'S THAT HAND GOING

IM

BROOOOOOOOOOOOO

oh yohd

oh my god I can't believe they done did it

oh my god I love this show *so much*

bro I love nick and charlie so much?

[mousydentist]

my favorite fics that i wrote and why

So, first I'll explain. I'm gonna being reccing my own fics which I'm not super sure how to do cause I mostly just yeet shit on ao3 and let the fates decide, and I'm never sure what's like, too much? Like I see other people rec their own fics and I'm like (O O) how do i do that. Like idk why I have this resistance to like, telling people that I like my own fics? So today I said fuck that, everyone's gonna know now.

And I've just been doing not so hot recently for a number of reason and I figured like, I've been obsessing over so much, why don't I get to be excited about the good things? So anyway, these are my favorite fics that I've written, not just the ones that have done the best or whatever, just my personal favorites, so without further ado...

(quick fyi, all of these are locked so you need to be logged into ao3 to view)

First up is sorry that i can't believe anybody really starts to fall in love with me , don't ask why the name is so long I just like the song lmao. This one's special to me cause it was my first KPTS fic. Is it the best? No. Does it have a super deep meaning? Nope. But it's cute and it's mine so I love it. Next!

the imperfect art of making it. Very self indulgent. I wrote this for the endorphins fic fest which gave me the motivation to write, but really I just loving transing my characters, and soft KimChay deserves lots of love.

Next up, do you look up to the sky? My first whumptober fic and the first one I wrote bc as soon as I looked at the prompts I was like "oh Kim's getting locked in the fucking basement for sure" and then he did! Success. Also KimChay are a pstd4ptsd couple, I won't be taking questions at this time.

This is getting longer than I thought it was gonna be but fuck it, I told myself I was doing this to remind myself why I like writing and that I do actually enjoy it so the longer the better tbh bc it means I really do love it. It's not a bad thing if all of my fics have a special place in my heart, right?

Ok last of the non dead dove ones is i should have kissed you. I don't exactly have a reason, I just think it's a good fic.

The next ones are dead dove cause I have two modes which are cute fluff and illegal <3

chay and kinn and chay. This thing is my baby. I love him with my whole heart. I wrote him in discord messages on my walk to and from classes. This is one fic that I would not be ashamed to say I've read several times over. This is the fic that I think of when people say "write the fics you want to read." This was also a spite fic which makes all of that even funnier lmao

Willow Dancin' On Air. This one's not dead dove but it is KimVegas so eh. But this is another fic I wrote purely for myself. I just wanted some fluffy lil somethin somethin and now every time I listen to this song I think of this fic

Ok last one, Why minors shouldn’t gamble. This one also started on discord and was written in my notes app at like. 9 am while I was still in bed lmao. Because that's where inspiration peaks. And it's hot idk. omegaverse will never not be be a special interest of mine, hopefully one day we can find out what happens when Kim joins the party, I'm genuinely curious.

OK! So. That was something. Tbh I feel a lot better lmao. My therapist would be so proud of me if I ever told her I write fanfiction pff. Normalize reading your own fics over and over. I'm saying that directly to myself cause I see all these like motivational things about writing and then I don't believe them, what's that about?? Doing this reminded me that I actually like the things I create, highly recommend. Now I'm gonna get myself a glass of water cause for the next maybe 12 hours I'm changing my life!! I'm doing self care!!! Woo hoo!!!!! Now to post this before I remember that other people can see it :) Ok bye ✌️

[toxicanonymity]

Heyyyyy! You can totally ignore this 🙏🏻 but as someone who’s now read most of what you wrote for Joel and enjoyed (!) it, I was wondering if you ever had to justify to yourself the topics you are writing about. I know it’s a fantasy that doesn’t reflect supporting those narratives irl. But do the topics affect you in any way while writing or do you not let it have any hold of you? I’m sorry this is so serious but you are the first fic writer dealing with this stuff that I actively read (after roughly 15 years of reading/writing fanfic) so I’m asking in good spirits and mean no harm or negativity. All the best and I wish you many more successful stories 🙏🏻🌻 ty for the great reads!!

Okay, I’m nervous to answer this one.  I hope the answer doesn't upset you because that's not at all my intent.  I'm only gonna answer a Q like this once, so fuck it we ball . Only read this if you're comfortable with all of my work.

A few weeks ago, I was talking to my personal trainer about this, and it just so happens that his husband is a sex therapist. Kink friendly, and I know they swing, so that put me at ease and I got in touch with him. Also drug friendly which is good because I had to get high before my first appointment bc I was nervous lol.   Random, but when I got there, I found out he also shares a waiting room with a massage parlor, so that's kinda cool too.  

First Appointment: Idk how many waivers I had to sign but I didn't read a word of them.  Let’s call him Dr. Rock  for short - When Dr. Rock came out to get me, I shouldn't have been surprised given his husband is a PT, but this guy was super imposing, like muscles making his arms stick out from his body.  At the first appointment, he wanted to know some of my specific characters and stories, which I didn't expect.  I was a little shy about that at first, but he kinda coaxed it out of me and listened really attentively.  He even took a few notes which made me nervous at first, but he didn't ask any judgmental questions.  I felt good when I left, but the next week I was still a little nervous to come back just in case he was waiting until the second session to spring any "concern" on me. 

Second Appointment: When I showed up for the second session, he didn't come get me from the waiting room. I was the last appointment of the day and he was running behind, catching up on paperwork, and the receptionist said I could go on back. I walked into his office and it reeked of weed. And he had already taken off his shirt and was wearing a tight undershirt. Okay, Dr. Rock is cool.  He invited me to sit at his desk that time instead of the sofa, and I worried it was a bad sign, but it turned out that’s just where the ashtray was.  Dr. Rock  lit up an actual joint, took a puff, then tried to hand it to me.  I declined, I guess I was just flustered.  Kinda smoothed my skirt then sat back down.  He put the joint down in the ashtray, I thought that’s that. 

Then he lunged across his desk, took my head in both his hands, and brought his mouth about an inch away from mine.  I opened my mouth, totally frozen, and he exhaled into it.  Yeah, Dr. Rock shotgunned me.  Then I looked down, and what was he wearing with that tight-ass shirt?  PJ pants.  Coincidence?  Wasn’t sure, until he said “yeah, there’s my bad girl.  You couldn’t sign those waivers fast enough, could ya?” He slid across his desk, Saved by the Bell style,  I stood up to not get knocked over.  He walked over and double-locked his office door.   I must've been beet red.  Like almost too mortified to be turned on, until he got right up against me and he was hard. I walked backwards to the couch and he pinned me on it.  

I was like, “Uh, is J (husband) cool with -” 

“Don’t you worry ‘bout him..” He started gnawing at my neck.  Shoved his hand between my legs.  And yes, yes I was.  He was like “Ohh yeah, you know you want it.  Let’s see how depraved you can be.”  He took off my panties, pulled down his waistband, railed me.  At first, I was kinda distracted thinking about if he was gonna ask me questions at the end and stuff, but he was actually really good and well equipped and I forgot all about it after a minute. He was like “Yeah, you want this cock, that’s why you came here in the first place. Hell, J prolly told ya how to get it.” I was speechless.  When he was close, he said “Lemme see those filthy fingers you’re always typin’ with.”  Then he came into both my hands.   

-

Third Appointment:  Next time I came in, I was expecting to have a traditional appointment and have to talk about my feelings in the previous experience and stuff.  I was really nervous.  Once again, he didn’t come get me from the waiting room, and I was told to go back to his office.  But that time, he wasn’t at his desk or even in his office.  I sat on the couch - felt less like I was invading his Dr. space that way.  I was sitting there in his office, picking lint off my skirt, and out of the corner of my eye I saw someone his size lumber through the door.  

I did a double take - blue mechanic suit, popped collar. Triple take - Michael Myers mask, WHAT? My heart was beating out of my chest. I stood up as a reflex. He stood there wiggling his fingers at his sides almost imperceptibly. Then he pulled a knife out! He wrapped his hand around my throat, walked me into the wall, and just stood there.  He put the knife up to my throat and I kind of whimpered, and maybe he realized he went too far, because he threw the knife to the floor.  Then he just stood there holding me against the wall.  I was like, “Should I.. what do you want me to do?”  And he just tilted his head at me.  I looked down and sure enough there was a huge bulge in his jumpsuit.  So I went for it, I unzipped him.  He breathed heavily in the mask, then aggressively lifted up my dress and ripped open my stockings.  Then he railed me up against the wall. Didn't say a word the whole time.  Finished, left me there, didn't come back. 

-

Fourth Appointment:  This was gonna be a little awkward because I had an appointment at the gym with J. right after my appointment with Dr. Rock.  I didn’t know how much Dr. Rock shared with J.  Dr. Rock was running behind again and I started getting nervous about making it to the gym in time to work out with J.  I texted J. to tell him I was running late, and he didn’t respond.  After waiting for like 30 minutes, I decided to leave because I didn’t want to miss my training session. 

I got to my car, started to unlock it, then heard, "Don't you fuckin' dare."  I turned around, and Dr. Rock was pointing a rifle at me?? My heart almost stopped. I think this was an actual rifle. I live in Texas so I wouldn't be surprised.   It was slung over his back with a strap and all.  I looked down and he was wearing boots and TACTICAL fucking JEGGINGS.  He put me over his shoulder  at first and started back toward the building and I was so nervous about the rifle swaying right next to my head. 

I said, "please, I can walk." 

"Alright, sweet pea but you better move those pretty legs." 

He put me down and manhandled me inside, NOT into his office, but into the massage parlor and threw me down on a DIRTY old massage table.  Here's the kicker - there were clients in this room.  A bunch of depraved men waiting for their happy ending.  He unbuckled his belt while making me pull down my pants and choose where I wanted him. Then he pounded me from behind and pulled me up against his chest.  He lifted my shirt and bra up so all the clients could see and degraded them while he fucked me. Like, "yeah this is what y'all came for innit? Buncha sickos.  Well she's not workin'.  Not this one. You won't fuckin see her again. Better jack it now while ya have the chance." He made the whole room of clients jerk off.    Then, when Dr. Rock  was about to come, he pulled out, pumped himself,  walked over to the nearest table, and came all over the client, who started sobbing.  Then Dr. Rock came back to my table and said "you did good, sweet pea" and left.  

When I got back to my car, I had a text from J. that said, “Get a good enough workout?”

-

Sorry for answering your sincere ask this way, but thanks for the perfect opportunity to apply this concept. Hopefully an entertaining way of declining to get serious?

[plumdonutsv]

hi!! i saw ur post abt fom :]

i hope u dont mind if i structure this like a point by point answer to questions u put in ur tags <3

i feel like im playing the game right. unlike stardew, fields of mistria doesnt make me feel bad for not using every second of the day. i think fom has a nice balance between easy and not too easy

i kinda feel like im going slow and fast at the same time? time during the day passes in a blink of an eye but when i look at the calendar im like still halfway through the season. idk how to feel abt it yet

my time management is so bad 😭😭 im terribly forgetful so i'd like set a goal for the day and a second later i'd be like "wait what" but i dont usually mind cuz i dont feel rushed by the game at all which i really appreciate. i think that mistria places a huge emphasis of getting to know the people and i love that

i like a LOT about the game: the soundtrack (especially the mines music), the aesthetics, character sprites art, environment art, the art in general, i LOVE the characters so much, it feels like everyone has their own thing but you can't tell all of the stuff they're about immediately i think? like i didn't realize Holt made toys until i saw his station in his house, i love environmental storytelling <33 honestly i love that most of them are so kind to you, it's the kind of game i personally needed. i love that the combat is not a clicker and that u gotta watch how the monsters act to figure out the best way to defeat them, i love the set up, i love that the earthquake has lingering consequences on the town and the community. it's a lot of fun <33 ofc i have some criticizms too and stuff to improve but im too tired rnfjsndbd

OH AND THE LORE!!! i need to know more about mistria's lore. especially the magic and all that stuff thats goin on in the mines

i love all of the characters fr, my fav love interesrs are Ryis and Adeline. Ryis is just so sweet and kind and gorgeous, he loves birds, he's from a family of bakers, he has family with a lot of sisters in the capital that send him care packages with cookies, HE LOVES BIRDS (<- it was the thing that had me like "you're the one"bfjsnhdsnbd) just a disney princess type of guy

Adeline just got me in her palms and i'm not even sure why or how exactly yet but all i know is that i walk around her like a puppyfjsnbd she's such a nerd and i adore her, she loves doing paperwork and calls it a "party", she is the heir to the land and she loves taking care of it and its people but forgets to take care of herself and im just like *biggest wettest eyes at her* also pink hair. oh mh god

and like i think all of the other townies are so cool. I love the kids, theyre the cutest and i love seeing them around town doing their thing. i love that we have different models of families like. man i'm so excited for more stuff in this game

i'd love to chat mistria with u if you'd like to <33 and i'd love to know what u think :D

have a good dayyyy

omg thanks for your response!! i feel like i relate to many things you said. i haven't played a farming sim before bc i didn't think i would like it. since i would prefer games w some kind of story or lore, i didn't think this game would be for me. really, i had no idea what to expect in the game

i feel like i'm also going slow and fast while playing! the day goes by so so quickly but i also feel like maybe i'm not doing enough. sometimes i'm thinking "why are my crops growing so slowly please grow faster!!!" but then i'm surprised w how quickly they grow. i get up and see my tomatoes and corn ready to be harvested. but for the most part, i feel like i'm going at it too slow. i'm almost done w summer but i just got magic

i relate to what you said about time management. there are some items on a task that i just couldn't find so i do another task. then i just entirely forget to search for that item (like i cannot find seaweed still). then literally TODAY i was in the mines for too long and had to rush home. the next in-game day i went to the mines earlier in the day to not make the same mistake.

the music in the game is amazing! i find myself humming along while playing or humming when i'm doing something else. i'm surprised that i even remember how the music goes. i've played totk for a bit but i can't remember a single song. i love how everyone has different seasonal outfits. i really like how celine has a different outfit in the early morning. (idk if other characters have a different outfit at that time i can't remember). i'm glad i could play the game bc i'm gonna be moving back to school soon and this would be a nice way to take a break from coursework.

i also like how most of the characters are nice to your farmer. i just cannot pick one favorite character. it's too hard for me to bc they are all so lovely 😭. i agree that the kids are cute! i try to give luc a bug each time i see him.

one of the things that i don't like so much is that there is only one place to save. i can't remember if there are other places to save

[autisticempathydaemon]

hello everynyan :3 /ref

4 the redacted match-ups ! not sure if you're still doing these or not bc i'll be damned i'd give up after the first 3 🙌🙌🙌 power 2 ya ! (if you ARE, in fact, not doing these anymore pls ignore this. this never happened. kay.)

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

this was the hardest question bc i LOVEEMUSIC so bad i can never really pick ONE fav bc it changes every 2 seconds but !!! gun to my head as of rn i'd say -- "but not kiss" - faye webster

'i want to see you in my dreams,

but then forget.

we're meant to be,

but not yet.

you're all that i have,

but can't get.'

i chose this song primarily because of the aesthetics & instrumental,, + the feels - i love how the piano carries and portrays every feeling (dread? maybe?) alongside the vocalist ugh sick to my stomach /pos

as for the verses i've chosen i just. really like the way she sings them HA i guess depending on my current mood i might relate to the lyrics for .5 seconds due to a past relationship of mine that had me fuckedd anyway.

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

i WISH i could enjoy these as much as others but i have the attention spam of a fucking goldfish i need to be stimulated 24/7. i cannot stare at the same face and occasional photo/clip for over 10 mins.

i might watch more of em if they had like a satisfying slime video in the corner or smth. i find i only watch ones that have a topic/interest of mine that i am actively curious about/into????if that makes sense??

for instance, the only one that comes to mind rn is "in defense of chat noir" by toon ruins UGH ITS SO GOOD i used to be a huge fan of miraculous so that defffinitely takes part in why i rewatch it every few months.

What is your go-to way to fall asleep?

on my stomach. arms under pillows. one leg up. yo i bought these headphones made specifically for sleeping while listening to relaxing noises or smth & i kid you not i use them shits to listen to asmr/rp audios. sometimes it puts me to sleep other times i'm up all night tryna figure out what position the listener and 'character' are in. anyway!!!

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

first thing that comes 2 mindd for whatever reason is 'may' ?? possibly bc i really like my birth name already and 'may' is somewhat close to it already? also because i'd love writing it over and over in my handwriting . probably just an excuse to write the letter 'y' actually.

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why?

fav character changes ALLL THE TIMEE for no reason my fav is all of them rlly i just wanna love and be loved BUT when i reaaaally think about it ?? hudson. even though he's like. an easter egg. i cant have anything. wanna "D D D D DDDJJJ ANXIETY" into his pants. what. who said that. just got hacked wtff

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.)

a know a LOTT of ppl love david but i am sorry i just cannot. angel better than me idk how they do it. srry. my momma raised a bitch. i've never ever gotten to finishing any of his videos so maybe im the problem but from the get-go THIS BITCH IS SCARY BRO he's so damn intimidating . the fact that his voice is rlly deep doesn't help either :C ..& don't even get me started on early david.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

this is such a good question rlly makin me think . hmm . OK I FEEL LIKE A BASIC BlTCH BC PPL HAVE BEEN SAYIN THIS ALREADY BUT . hux. we like this 🤞 . as for why?? i feel like i need and would . honestly really appreciate more,, warmth and positivity in my life - and i def get that sorta 'aura' from him. & i know damn well he'd give the best hugs. and we could go to the gym together. it'd be so fun. so precious.

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.)

ok first of all #relationshipgoals that is so sweet awe :((

i wouldn't say i really 'ramble' per say -- i just talk. to myself. like a normal person. mhm. i struggle with sleep in general, so i'm usually up till like 5am. typically endlessly scrolling through my phone, or talking to the abyss about something personal that's been on my mind for a while. if it's really bad, i cry in my voice memos. if i just need to - refresh? get smth off my mind so i can sleep? i write songs.

...and then i record them on my $15 wireless headphones. onto that very same voice memos app.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

if im being honest,, depends on my mood . but god could i fuck up some strawberry milk and mini oreos right about now. . mind you i've had strawberry milk like once but it changed my life u dont understand

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment.

i mean i don't listen to it 24/7 but man i outdid myself w this one. it's called "insanity" and every single song matches the vibe of . just straight up 'otherworldly' ?? if u catching what im throwin?? all songs r pretty 'out-there' - in terms of the vibes - at least i like to think so. for reference it has songs like "goth - sidewalks and skeletons" and "eternal youth - růde" . IDK i guess it makes me happy when songs from a playlist actually match up with one other

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why?

i listen to this japanese-kawaii-metal-based group called BABYMETAL and i loveee them soso much. a few "metal enthusiasts" go out and call their work 'not real metal' , which is why i guess you can technically call their music a pleasure media -- as well as the fact that whenever i put on one of their songs mfs r like ... what is this - cause its three young japanese girls talking abt bubblegum with the the most insane guitar riff in the back. their newer stuff is incredible. womanhood at it's finest. give them a shot plspls /nf

ALL DONE !! ty 4 reading & have a lovely day/night, wherever you may be <3

Oh, this one is perfect and required, like, no thought. Vibes-wise? Given your energy? It’s just gotta be Guy.

Building on that, I love that you write songs and he writes screenplays(?). I think it’s so cute to pair writers together so that you might inspire one another and be each other's biggest fans. I also like Guy for you because he strikes me as one of those people who calls themselves “polyjamorous”, listening to basically anything and everything. He loves all your songs and all your playlists, vibing along to all of it even if there’s no words or words in another language. He doesn’t care: he’s with you, so he’s having a good time.

I would predict a fun, artistic life for the two of you like parallel-playing co-writing sessions with the two of you having individual headphones on, making funny faces at one another when you catch the other staring. You take turns showing each what you’ve created and hyping each other up, offering critique. When the writer's clock keeps y’all up till 3 AM, he’s got leftover pizza and any snacks you could possibly want. (He strikes me as the sort of guy who always has junk food caches.)

Song:

It was just two lovers/ Sittin' in the car, listening to Blonde/ Fallin' for each other/ Pink and orange skies, feelin' super childish/ No Donald Glover/ Missed call from my mother/ Like, "Where you at tonight?" Got no alibi/ I was all alone with the love of my life

Given your passion for music, I tried to pick a love song for y’all that was emotionally evocative to the mind and the ear. I chose this one because I thought the piano instrumental and how it evokes that mental imagery of sitting with someone during the golden hour might resonate with you. I also like it for y’all because this song got really popular on tiktok, and Guy would probably know it from there.

Runner-ups:

Obviously, we have to have Hudson as a runner-up. As a DJ, he’d be so loving and so supportive of your craft, hyping you up on air all the time and playing your work whenever he can. He’d also make you really bomb-ass playlists. A less obvious runner-up would be Anton, but I really like this one. You’d be more of an opposites attract sort of pair, but I think it’d be cute, and listening to music would remind Anton of you while he’s away~

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[ganondoodle]

Oh man I saw your totk issues post and I agree 100%!! Those are all things that have really bothered me about playing totk, and things that made playing it not nearly as fun (the dungeons, the shrines, the building, etc).

Especially the map!! When I tell you I was so disappointed by the maps on totk, I was hoping for something new! It really just feels like a modded botw, not an official sequel.

I was wondering what your thoughts are on the concept of “what if they had sent link to the past instead”? So the surface map would feature huge differences in the land forms and buildings that exist, and we’d get to see more ganon whenever he visits Hyrule, or go out to the desert to see Gerudo town, etc.

If they really wanted no sheika tech, they could also just have it being newly built? And you could introduce the new characters and such, etc etc.

(I also think the past champions are such a missed opportunity? If botw is about grief and loneliness, and finding hope in the hopeless, and Totk is about coming together despite that, it could have been really interesting if Link had gone to the past! They could have used the past setting as an eerie reminder to what Link and Zelda had lost when the Calamity struck!)

THAT BEING SAID: I’m not as familiar with the legend of Zelda lore, and haven’t played totk very much! I wanted to know your thoughts on this because you seem to have a lot of story and game mechanic knowledge that could explain why this could be a bad/good idea!

(Plus, your discussions are always super interesting to read, as is your custom totk lore, so I’d love to know what you think🩷)

I’m sorry if you’ve already answered an ask like this! If that’s the case, feel free to point that out and I’ll go through your ask tag if you have one:) I hope you have a great day!⭐️

Hi!

im glad you enjoy my rants, i often feel like im being overly mean but tbh were else could i just rant as much as my heart desires without getting spammed by annoying people (certainly not on twitter lol)

i have talked alot, and i mean ALOT, about totk and my issues with it, both lore and gameplay wise, i dont claim to be an expert on any, though i am an old zelda fan and aspiring gamedev, i really only talk about what i feel about it, what i think about it, and by all means im biased as hell xD

if you dont know yet, the "ganondoodles rants" tag is where all my rants go, so if you are interested in reading more on my totk thoughts thats the way to search (given tumblrs search in blog works ..)

and to answers your question, i have touched on it briefly, sending link back in time before the shiekah tech existed would have been an easy way to excuse how they jsut got .. rid of it, bc they didnt, it literally didnt exist yet- and for reusing the map- though that argument falls a little flat bc ... they coud have already done that in present totk, like i brought up in one of said rants, things like flooding gerudo desert, collapsing death mountain, drying out zoras domain etc, and changing the location of the main populations would have already done alot without having to redo the map in its entirety;

the little changes to map itself really wouldnt that big of a deal if they didnt also send you to the EXACT same locations AND repeat the SAME LOCATIONS AGAIN but in the underground, like thats a fact i have talked about multiple times bc its so illogical in every way, anywhere theres a settlement on the surface theres a bigger mine below, its so stupid, the shrines conenct to a lightroot, the same, again, you dont need to explore bc theres nothing TO explore (its also extra weird bc theres one below taburasa (tarrey town) which .... link literally build with dumsda (hudson) a few years ago .. unless that got retconned too idk wth do i know anymore honestly- AND it makes the sonau extra weird bc why the hell do they have a bigass mine under every settlement ESPECIALLY UNDER GERUDO TOWN like, that just adds to my suspicions towards them)

anyway, link to the past was the point and yes, it could have solved a few issues (mainly shiekah tech and the whole "story" taking place AGAIN in the past completely disconnected from you the player) i personally am not so much a fan of it, but that mostly comes down to me just not liking time travel, i dont like going back in time, i want to play and do things in the here and now, i want to repair the damages of the calamity, find out its origins, maybe fix that too, i love to learn about past stuff too, but that more in text, no literal flashback (unless done well), i want to connect to the past but it also holds alot of mystery that maybe shouldnt be touched upon, some mysteries and unkowns are much more interesting when left as such, i want to THINK about things and come to conclusions that are logical and makes sense in hindsight even if it wasnt clear at the start, i dont want information and what to think about it told to my face over and over like im stupid

after botw i really didnt care much about the past, maybe about the acient hero who alot of people specualted to be of gerudo origin due to its red hair- which also got a monkeys paw curled bc in totk they do sth with but its so stupid and insulting that i do not accept it as canon, say what they want, there are no dog people anywhere in the past nor present botw/totk wtf is that i hate it- and its not even .. why is that the reward for that, it has literally NOTHING TO DO WITH TOTK ITSELF I COULD YELLLL AAAARGH

main point is that really, i wanted to explore the past .. in the present, i hoped to find broken old shiekah structures, old labs and maybe some left over damage and records from when the old king persecuted the shiekah for their tech, i wanted to know where the ancient energy the shiekah used was coming from, what the boss arena in the middle of hyrule castle really was- so many things just discarded and acted like they never happened or mattered; i dont want to travel into the past, i want to discover whats left of it, piece it together, discover dark secrets you can ask no one about bc all that knew about it are long gone- thats what intrigued me about botw, it felt like there was so much left to discover only for totk to throw it all away and just do its own thing .. but not commit to that hard enough either so its neither its own thing nor a sequel-

.. that wasnt really what you wanted to know was it? xD sorry i tend to ramble on if someone seems to give me permission to

to sum it up, i think it COULD work, sending link to the past instead, if done well, but so could canon totk have been, it could have been done well but wasnt for reasons i dont know and tbh even fear bc i worry its sets a dark future ahead of zelda; i personalyl am just not a fan of time travel so i dont have that much to say to it :O

[compacflt]

my apologies if this is too simple or juvenile or personal a question but HOW did you become such a proficient writer? and do you have any tips or pointers to keep in mind? i know you must do a lot of reading and a lot of writing, but your skill is just incredible to me. your prose!! your cadence!! when we get around to talking about it is genuinely one of the best things i've ever read and i'd eat it if i could!!!

this ask was so sweet thank you!! rly made my day when i needed a boost. Hope you don’t mind i took a couple days to think about it cause no one’s ever asked me for writing advice before

idk how i became a “proficient” writer bc I really don’t write that much. something about my fic gave me brainworms and i went into overdrive but that’s…not my usual MO. which is why it’s weird for me too. admittedly i am studying english/creative writing as my second major at uni, but i haven’t learned anything in any of my classes you couldn’t learn by just reading and writing on your own. honestly i should’ve stuck with my IR major instead, i find structured cw classes a complete waste of time. but here are some little tips i thought of that would’ve helped ME:

This is more a “do as I say not as I do” because I’m really bad at habits like this, but keep a diary. You can write about the big events (went to the store, did homework, got laid etc.) but that’s boring—focus on the details (watched someone at west side market throw a glass bottle of olives at a rat, broke a pen and permanently stained my dorm desk and won’t get my deposit back which pissed me off because I move out in a week, this guy’s breath smelled like lemon pledge and it made me wonder if he drank window cleaner before kissing me etc.). Real life is really interesting! How can you write about interesting real life in an interesting way? It’s a good way to practice. You don’t have to do a big reflection at the end of the day or anything. It’s okay to jot down something you saw & then immediately forget about it. It’s the act of figuring out how to translate life into words that’s important

If you type, learn how to type FAST. This is just my experience, but I think typing faster makes your cadence, clause length, dialogue, IDEAS flow better/more naturally. We think in words/sentences, not letters.

This is a super lame tip that’ll make you roll your eyes, but read poetry. Poetry is all about how words/ideas/images sound and interact with each other. Don’t get hung up on one poet—im not really recommending any for precisely this reason—read poetry you love (for me, Ada Limón, Jack Kerouac, Frank O’Hara, ghazals etc) AND read poetry you hate (for me, Rupi Kaur, Emily Dickinson, Whitman, etc)! Read all genres you can get your hands on. (I think there are like “great poetry anthologies” you can find for free online if u don’t know where to start. Also you can’t go wrong with subscribing to/reading a variety magazine like the NYer. It’s pretentious but it exposes you to all kinds of weird topics, ways of writing about them, etc.) Figure out how certain combinations of words and punctuations make you FEEL, and why, and why the writer chose (or not) to make you feel that way. Figure out which literary sounds you like and which ones you don’t. For me, i figured out that I REALLY like alliteration, comma splices, zeugmas, the rule of three, and

“he’s [verb]ing again… yeah compacflt’s characters are [verb]ing again… big shocker”

If you have an idea for a piece, figure out what it is you really want to get out of it—to say something? to experiment with a different style? to see your fav characters do something? to have fun?—and then figure out how, on a technical level, you should write to match that goal (this is where the poetry training comes in handy). If you’re just writing to have fun, don’t listen to any writing advice (incl. mine), because most of it is bullshit and over-generalized and will make you feel bad about yourself. Just take the advice that you think will work for what YOURE trying to write.

But if you’re writing to explore some political idea, then you should think about HOW to best write about that idea. What would be a convincing story/allegory/scene to engage with this idea vs. not convincing. I talk on this blog all the time about how disappointed I am that my very-adult-grown-up attempt to deal with the dynamic of “immovable internalized homophobia vs unstoppable falling in love anyway” is rendered a little childish/immature by some pretty unconvincing plot points like the characters buying a house together—I really should have considered how that plot point would interact with the characterizations I’d built already (hint: poorly). You can think of writing as kind of a military structure if that helps—you have strategy on the overarching campaign (plot/character growth/allegory/theme) level, the battle (scene that advances the above) level, and the tactical (sentence-level construction/syntax/wording) level. They all have to work together. If a scene is failing to properly engage with the idea you’re trying to convey, you’re losing a battle that will weaken the overarching campaign. Same thing if you choose a weird word in a sentence/write in a style or tone that’s weirdly out of place with your idea—it makes your engagement with the theme/idea less convincing. just try to be purposeful and consider your strategy on all levels of your work as you’re writing it!! At the very least it’ll make editing easier lol.

But then again when I read my own writing from just a couple months ago I cringe out of my skin, so like—just also accept that it’s a process and we’re all just making it up as we go along. Be proud of being embarrassed of your old work, because it means you’re growing. Own that shit. When I finished writing WWGATTAI i thought it was the best thing I’d ever written, and maybe it was. But since the day I finished working on it, it’s the worst thing I’ve written since then. That’s a great feeling. Not to be like writing grindset obviously bc it’s supposed to be fun—but if what you want is to get better at writing, the strategy is to WRITE a whole bunch of shit, and then own your embarrassment about how much you’ve grown since you started. And know you’re still always growing and learning. there should never be any “goals” where skills are concerned 👍🏽