#idk if my vision was worth it
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I had a vision ok (I'm sorry link click nation)
#I worked on this until 3am and I have work tomorrow rip#this is kind of my first time attempting a proper edit with text so sorry it looks kinda off đ#I know the fandom is flooded with angst edits rn and I'm not maning it any better#idk if my vision was worth it#link click#shiguang dailiren#shiguang#link click edit#link click spoilers#link click yingdu#link click bridon arc#link click season 2#lu guang#qiao ling#cheng xiaoshi
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5656cce26fff4468c47810557f6e21be/1c01eefe0e4e7218-94/s540x810/aaefb6de52a1a3d625b92d19ec27e21829c7faa6.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4659ff3d52a1cf0725ffc28d10e287e9/1c01eefe0e4e7218-7c/s540x810/6e03086208b7108c1b422471841f979d16845079.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e22ca0b6aea65fae62b8e531c595e445/1c01eefe0e4e7218-1e/s540x810/ac8d0c3ecc3141b9a084f3636d2f0fcc359e48e5.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/40204188cc7301597546756edb175063/1c01eefe0e4e7218-9a/s540x810/21719ff5de57e74395820380fb2eb79f64a8a9cf.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/96cc7ceda987921126dce7c42a75bef6/1c01eefe0e4e7218-c7/s540x810/20deae80a272a688eb7ed7e65911de5a3556c925.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4cb448028a87d45536ce06963beef459/1c01eefe0e4e7218-67/s540x810/611207fd34078752f887dc71da0e6b19abfcd9b0.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f19b0d33706de1f0552fa3278cc4c540/1c01eefe0e4e7218-31/s540x810/50515cb6c98264dbb99373d6b7ccc7c61db4a725.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/08e24ff40da7e555293a5a477ec7ed07/1c01eefe0e4e7218-07/s540x810/7de26e6c47f120419c24cfb852db22c79b057053.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/42e67765fdc0740b51157b34c48b22e0/1c01eefe0e4e7218-61/s540x810/d8b2bfd22045a34ce8e0aa9d25ab01ca29af2cff.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2131108dd429a3661eb8b28fc388e4fa/1c01eefe0e4e7218-e0/s540x810/c6df96e40543daf1e4cdeadebe8d6e2cb589f23d.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/36155e8fbbe877a403efed48480903c3/1c01eefe0e4e7218-b7/s540x810/f0178af0fab63636932f144618001bffa0d01121.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a6c94605314364e18ff888055f36aa98/1c01eefe0e4e7218-2b/s540x810/d15b60bb552e457ffb9a62f39070f02e3d03c34c.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5231784afc4d6824f09a8d66b47f710e/1c01eefe0e4e7218-a2/s500x750/cb81f7715c6c96cec2a8fb2121177118e908677a.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/8b53352ed1b766b6a33579106f23e45d/1c01eefe0e4e7218-ab/s540x810/855fea4fb1c3ee2846bef13957bb28b6fbdc7ed8.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2d0ff9264bbe38a003e26ed65ce0522e/1c01eefe0e4e7218-da/s540x810/d9f082b13bfd328c4b3eafb50d052d600935bfde.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9f8c09ef4f5713bc3c6822371bce3e59/1c01eefe0e4e7218-56/s540x810/cbeb9d04b8a8713c29b63c6626a61fe3ef6177f9.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/929af27f66eae15e61d7f7bd0b68647b/1c01eefe0e4e7218-b8/s540x810/0befbe4cd8b87703c6689979fd28ac4a24754c97.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c966f556d7e3d109903f1ee34f25c87c/1c01eefe0e4e7218-dd/s540x810/f8f5972335c59242cfa979e143a693f2080f7a74.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f871557190ff70b01a8c9afc78c2fd1f/1c01eefe0e4e7218-a5/s540x810/185983f599c2570edea7adf070da2495a9a3fe9e.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/726c898ce58dd330a70a7bf868cc18cd/1c01eefe0e4e7218-65/s540x810/f082dd0a788498a4f4c49e25d3b2cc6a697cbf0b.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/3138fcb14e9aade2fd507534adc0fdaf/1c01eefe0e4e7218-a5/s500x750/1d914e2d0bcb9558abec17c82ac46eb7092bce35.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2a4f6f2ece17e849c07d0cacbf0d18cb/1c01eefe0e4e7218-f1/s540x810/c0b5df0f44fc4535ccebaa5db37f8fc2f8e7be8c.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/77908645bff7257e7659dc8963766fe9/1c01eefe0e4e7218-c9/s400x600/300df29bba1a901280191599ef3dd8b493e6f9f3.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a3a7fe19df5936f6f8067d8eb8ad2f1f/1c01eefe0e4e7218-bb/s540x810/1f885121adb1e59a1e4f826b8cb4adce19d19ae8.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/3e27094bff664ba3596aae46db993eca/1c01eefe0e4e7218-39/s540x810/d4c8aab19151a81a90e4c0733b5312b2a1cc8fc2.jpg)
Canines
The hand that feeds
Mickbell Tomas & Kuro Dungeon Meshi
^ 1: Ink-the-artist, I will remove my teeth / 2: Margaret Atwood / 3: C.S. Lewis, The Horse and His Boy / 4: Mitski, Iâm your man / 5: Ojibwa, I love you like a rotten dog / 6: KotOR II / 7: Stardrop, Everything thatâs ever been mine is covered in teeth marks / 8: Sodikken, People Eater / 9: Mitski, Iâm your man / 10: maxime., The life and death of a dog / 11: Mitski, I bet on losing dogs / 12: maxime., The life and death of a dog / 13: hun, I did not bite with Malice / 14: C. Michael Davis, Don't Pet the Dragon / 15: Mitski, Iâm your man
v 1: Early versions of the myth as in aeschylus orestes / 2: Ink-the-artist, I will not remove my teeth
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/cec1237b1ca56f863d7f39af671d7ddc/1c01eefe0e4e7218-fd/s540x810/b4c095dd073ff47994210dbc235a474b2411a088.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5ae6114acda607cd9301ce7a76b26404/1c01eefe0e4e7218-6e/s400x600/306a43b5ab0aa15303e80dc4f49f4b2703adca79.jpg)
#Yeahh iâm workng on a mickbell & kabru party analysis oops#Iâd bleed for anything if it held me the right way. Even teeth#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#Mickbell tomas#kuro#mickuro#mickrin#Itâs on topic in my heart#The red means I love youâŠ#The duality between the care & devotion and the hurt & isolation is really what gets to me#Traumabonded kittens highkey#Tw#cw#cw abuse#tw abuse#Web weaving#web weave#webweaving#I hit 30 pics :( would have added more if i could#Idk even anymore⊠Pls tell me you see the vision#Mick obvi loves Kuro a lot but this was meant to focus on the unhealthy side if that wasnât obvious. Abuse tactic of isolation etc etc#People always leave. doesnât matter how or why but his parents his sister everyone heâs never enough to stay#and thatâs why he thinks he has to trick Kuro into thinking Mickbellâs the whole world or heâll discover that thereâs more out there.#Stuff thatâs worth leaving him for. He has to make the world scary and unknown and not pay him and not let him have connections#Thatâs why he doesnât want people to have a choice!! Either Mickbell doesnât care about you or heâll make sure you can never be without him#and there being a third option/outcome in this freaks him out!!!#Some of these should be called âNo Titleâ instead but I have bad academic crediting etiquette this looks cooler sorry#Heâs scared of course he bites. Thereâs only throwing bones when feeding a stray. So bare your teeth and chew me up#Everything heâs ever loved has teeth marks
239 notes
·
View notes
Text
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/0dad6c62f7c3b99c863b28f36b47f4d6/70c0afe499d7a7ad-03/s540x810/ce729d5b5a306affadae553c2e5e9f216be534a3.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e469014f405b1978c9f7e701b8deef01/70c0afe499d7a7ad-a9/s540x810/4c2f0e6054f5a7c4cd54ba321b64f7e4590799cf.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b9ebc599e7924c8b2a684b357f6bc046/70c0afe499d7a7ad-f7/s540x810/bebd9787a13a469a2e674001d4289de8f73e65cb.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/68610a423cab0b7944f87a383bd76f58/70c0afe499d7a7ad-d3/s540x810/4786cf8c150eddd7d99a223af13c68da4fb7eba8.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b98c306fe04fde1b0a53b693046e66f7/70c0afe499d7a7ad-4a/s540x810/a85c5493aa4c730cb946c09af88d691e3b0aaa24.jpg)
A new sculpture! Finally... I feel like I never sculpt anymore since I'm always sick or have some 500 other things going on or projects to finish, but I'm trying to schedule time to do it more often this year hopefully..! Just a generic fantasy creature as usual, but did try making the eyes a little more sparkly this time.. hrmm..
#sculpture#fantasy art#fantasy creature#art#elf#lol what are the tags I should use... I still never know.. EVIL social media.. hate the idea of tagging anything ever anyway. but alas..#I also would ideally like to start selling them again and open up custom commmissions and stuff again once I can hopefully get paypal#stuff sorted out. and find like.. a good way to do things.. etc.. I did still want to sell them through auction instead of agonizing#over setting prices being afraid they're either too high or too low. So being able to just be like. Here. this is $50. or more. or less.#negotiate. the worth is whatever you feel like it is so i personally dont have to make that decision. etc. lol... But etsy doesn't let you#do auctions or like pay what you want type stuff so.. then I was thinking ebay? but idk.. ANYWAY.. I want to set things#up so I can sell stuff again hopefully. I still haven't fully recovered from the costs of when I had to take my cat to the vet and put#them down last year and etc. So it'd be good to sell a few things. perhaps.. maychance... perhamble... so on and so forthe... ANYWAY#I was going for whiter more milky sort of hair that blends in closely with the skintone but after the paint dried it seems more yellowy kin#of. which is fine. But just not exacltly like my mind vision lol..#Also it's like... wow... someone with face spots and elf ears and a half open mouth with a gap tooth and wavy hair and kind of downturned#eyes... revolutionary... never been seen before... every sculpture I have ever made surely doesnt look licherally exactly like this... LOL#but maybe it's just a style. so what. People have their motifs lol.. Im just getting back into sculpting. I shall sameface in peace. huzzah#Just like the only thing I ever carve out of avocado pits anymore is eyes. Because that's just whats fun to do. I'm going to accumulate lik#25 similar avocado eyes and have nothing to do with them. I was thinking of stringing some together into a necklace of eyes or something li#like that but.. hrmm... ANYWAY.. Love to do the same things repetitively. :3c
127 notes
·
View notes
Text
sometimes i forget that people on here donât know iâm visually impaired/legally blind, or that thatâs even a thing with people with albinism (iâm actually likeâŠblind. not in the âoh haha iâm like a bat, i canât see the board!â, itâs the âiâm never going to be able to get a drivers license unless itâs extremely, extremely limited to daytime and two lane highways only, needs an iep, canât read less than size 24 font without squinting, reads braille because my eyes get tired, canât see snow/rainfall, canât see 3d, can barely see my keyboardâ kind of way) so when i try to make a blind joke it doesnât hit as hard as it does if you know me irl. sigh.
#misc#maybe itâs my sign to stop making an ass out of myself#whatever i donât believe in signs#i do know braille tho#like itâs not the quirky âlol so blindâ thing#i genuinely cannot see#idk how to explain my vision either since i donât have normal people vision#so itâs hard to compare to smth youâre not accustomed to#i dunno this is a ramble#ok the driving thing is complicated#technicallyâŠi can kinda sorta drive#if i wear my contracts AND glasses AND and extra set of glasses with a bionic in it#and iâd have to go through tests to see if even that worksâand even then i have to go in front of a driving judge to see if they approve it#and if it got approved then iâd still have to go to âspecialâ drivers ed#and at the end of all of that my license would be limited to daytime and no more than two lane highways#BUT i canât even try that because if all went according to plan iâd lose my services and iep#so iâd have to wait til after college#which given all of thatâŠitâs not worth it#sure i feel like an idiot riding the bus in my junior year and needing to be picked up from clubs (and iâll feel worse my senior year)#but i guess its better than getting my services repealed#this turned into a rant#âŠoops#iâm really insecure abt not being able to drive mb lol#i mean get at least iâll never have to be designated driverâand the school canât take my nonexistent license for âlow gradesâ#ignore the tags this is a ramble abt my personal insecurities-âiâve never ranted abt the visual side effects of albinism đ#alaskaâs irl bullshit
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Vatores Present... A Decennial Vampire Bash: Part V
Previous / Next
Helena: Lilith, hold on. Who's that? [shudders] Is he watching us?
Lilith: Don't worry about him. He's just a dusty old windbag who wouldn't know fun even if it came up from behind and slapped him on the ass.
Vladislaus, telepathically: You reckless, impertinent girl. Your continual lack of discretion will be the ruin of all of us.
Lilith: Oh, stop being dramatic. And stay out of my head, old man.
Vladislaus: You'll one day grow to regret your ungratefulness, daughter.
Lilith: Do not call me that.
#ts4#sims 4#sims 4 story#ts4 story#simblr#story: hzid#bramblewoodvamps#just a small nugget of intrigue to lock away in your head for later#idk about this vlad though... is he still recognizable enough???#it was a very rushed makeover & i didn't have a real vision#but everyone say THANK YOU LILITH for giving us all that particularly vivid metaphor#the way their facial expressions unconsciously mirror each other's#they hate that they're so alike#anyway helena's just like nope none of my business not worth asking any follow-up questions at all!!!#lilith vatore#helena zhao#vladislaus straud
98 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've had a dream in which someone made a cover of "the last supper"/"gethsemane" from jesus christ superstar, but the lyrics were changed to fit viktor and jayce and it was AMAZING. SPECTACULAR. i wish it was real sdfghjkl
#i was dizzy the entire day AND had a very upset stomach (idk why; i guess it's a cold or smth?)#and therefore i didn't catch much sleep and i've barely eaten anything#so when I've finally fell asleep my brain gave me this most amazing vision#......it's worth noting the ''someone'' in question was studio accantus (and more specifically marcin franc and kuba jurzyk ofc)#(they made AMAZING polish versions of jesus christ superstar's songs. y'all should check them out. seriously.)#tbh marcin franc could play viktor in a live adaptation; he has the perfect kind of a beautiful tired eastern european face sdfghjkl#NOW THAT I'M LISTENING TO THE STUDIO ACCANTUS COVERS I THINK I COULD ACTUALLY. turn this dream into reality and make it into a fanvid???...#idk i need to think about it some more and then maybeee??.......#arcane#jayce#viktor#jayvik#jesus christ superstar#studio accantus
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
sometimes I wish I was a more interesting + charismatic person just so I could keep conversations going bc I like sharing space with other ppl but they routinely lose all interest and leave once I run out of things to say/start talking abt things that don't concern them :-(
#and boy do I run out of things to say so fast when I'm talking to friends who ik dont give a fuck abt any of my interests...#theres only so much i can make small talk or ask them questions abt their own interests/lives yknow. man#it just makes me feel like im constantly competing with smth else for other ppls attention all the time + constantly losing#eg. when i say smth + my flatmate reaches for her headphones a little dark souls banner appears across my vision like INTERACTION FAILED#and i can feel my rsd + insecurities praying on it like the more i feel this way the more it prophetically fulfils itself#by making me less willing to try and take up space so i become a smaller and smaller person around others#it frustrates me a lot sometimes and i dont rly have the will rn to undo that and force myself to take up more space regardless#ik this sounds like a water is wet complaint like oh nooo woe is me people get bored of me when i talk abt boring things (!!)#but when im spending time w ppl i like i enjoy listening to them talk even if im not interested in the subject bc its Them talking#and if they care abt smth then its worth hearing abt!! to me anyway. but it rly feels like no one reciprocates that idk#oh well not that it matters. at least i like the shit im into so i can talk to myself abt it in my head or on this site lmao#and i like myself as a person even if other people dont so theres always that. ur no 1 should always be urself <3#voicing this makes me feel so stupid + embarrassed urgh. i hate being anxious abt dumb shit i hate being the sort of person who worries#that their friends privately dislike/just tolerate them or whatever bc id never want a friend to worry abt whether i thought that abt them#and im not naturally a very insecure person!! i think im just feeling particularly vulnerable atm bc of the season + jobhunting so long#+ the fact im dissatisfied with my current social life + still feel very wobbly from not having other ppl i can trust or rely on etcetcetc#and thats just bleeding into other areas. and it sucks a lot. but theres nothing to be done abt it rn bc im not going to communicate it#to other ppl bc im not pathetic enough to make my anxieties someone elses problem + beg for pity attention im too proud for that đ#anyway. gonna play some noita + then i rly need to work out today bc thats probs part of why im feeling so shite#if ur reading this ignore me im just venting itll pass. i hope youre having a nice day :^)#.vent#.diaries
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
i think i should kill myself not necessarily as a desire to be dead but because i think life is incredibly boring and even moments of genuine joy dont particularly make living 70+ years of basically Nothing and Chores worthwhile. i want to see if theres another universe ill go to. and if theres not then at least i dont have to do laundry and to work anymore
#i got over being violently suicidal bc i hated myself but im still suicidal just in a different way#all happiness in life is 'despite' something or a 'but'#idk. 'i spent an amazing day with all my friends and it felt like life was worth living!' yes but thats IN SPITE OF everything else being#pointless. like the reason it feels so good is because its finally not boring and awful for five minutes not necessarily that its the#greatest joy a human being can experience#i dont particularly think anything we can experience on earth or in a human body is very interesting. its only interesting in comparison to#everyday life. we arent psychic or having ecstatic visions or discovering new worlds and colors or anything particularly monumental#i want to die so i can have the potential to shift to another planet or reality#i want to join a cult NOT bc i think theyre not insanely abusive and corrupt and evil or could be good but because i need#to be made delusional or something. like i need my brain twisted into a new shape. not into a healthy shape or anything or to be 'fixed'#i need to be fully crazy or in a coma or a permanent drug induced episode or something. or be dead#those are the options. im simply so bored of being alive no matter if life goes good or bad im just not interested#its like a tv show i dont particularly like. im not saying its bad its just not for me. id like to change the channel
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
hey artists how tf do you learn to draw people bc I've never been particularly good at drawing but I can manage plants and I can manage stuff that's vaguely geometric but humans? Impossible. But also I have animatics in my head that have been in there for 10 years and at some point I can't keep waiting for them to make a silmarillion TV show to give me footage to use so I guess I gotta learn how to draw faces and how proportions work and shit
#sadly I am also very impatient#this is a tragedy#the answer is presumably practice but like. Idk#I guess the real issue is good old adhd problem of delayed gratification#like if it takes years to get good at it's not worth doing#except I'm starting to realize that if I've had this visions in my head for 10 years....#they're probably still gonna be here 10 years from now. So might as well figure out how to draw Elrond I guess#(Elrond and like 20 other finweans and then make them distinguishable from each other lmfao yeah see this is the problem)#(my brain does not give me small easy beginner ideas. It gives me expert level ideas and shrugs when I ask how I'm supposed to do that)
1 note
·
View note
Photo
SUNSHINE EXCHANGE
Dahlia Kiseleva for @come-along-pond
I hope you like it!
#ocappreciation#ocapp#annas sunshine exchange#shadow and bone oc#not my oc#my edits#poppy's oc: dahlia kiseleva#idk about this again#i had a vision but was it worth it?
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
I wasn't planning to text post this but I ran out of tags. I will finish off my one day egg meal plan with a late night snack of 4 devilled eggs and have successfully eaten my age in eggs. Once I hit 30 this will no longer be sustainable.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6529039b659ecb48f452db900645b57e/410dfcfe17902296-ac/s540x810/a8001304e2dbab27e4631b34a20baf5da9d5cef3.jpg)
@rabbit-factory getting more data because it really is an amazing question to ask
This conversation happened at 6am btw
Answer in the tags â
#breakfast: scrambled eggs sandwich with bacon and mayo. 2 eggs. i would make a batch of 10 deviled eggs to eat throughout the day#second breakfast/morning snack: 2 eggs worth of deviled eggs#lunch: chicken n egg salad. probably 1 chicken breast and like 3 boiled eggs? idk this part would take some planning#do the eggs in the mayo count?#i think the eggs in the mayo should count#lets say all of the mayo i use in this day is 1 egg to be conservative#but lets me real im white so its gunna be a lot of mayo#2 more deviled eggs for second lunch#im going to dye some eggs to bring some whimsy into what is now an egg fueled hellscape of a day#i subscribe to the dye one eat one model#while one is marinating in the dye i am eating another like an apple#i usually get bored around 3 eggs dyed so thats 3 more nondyed eggs eaten#up to 13 now i think#halfway there#2 more deviled eggs lets go#we're up to dinner now#i want to make a monstrocity of a meal that is cooked to resemble nonegg foodstuffs but is in fact all eggs#so im thinking baked potatoes#these are just boiled eggs that have been split open on top. had the yolks removed. and had scrambled eggs reinserted#with the aforementioned yolk deviled and dolluped on top like sour cream#that's 2 more eggs#now an omlette but rolled into tubes like green beans or asparagus#my vision is really coming together now#lets say thats 2 more eggs#now i want an eggurger#burger but egg#scrambled egg patty#2 more eggs#extra fluffy scrambled egg buns#2 more eggs for each top and bottom
27K notes
·
View notes
Text
I am This Close to just trying to crowdfund some new glasses for myself. These daily migraines are getting to be a little too much
#quacking#it sounds like my new jobâs vision insurance may not be worth it#Iâd just need like. $125-150 but thatâs not really money Iâll have the disposable income for#and my job requires me to stare at a screen with no built-in hue adjustment so Iâm blasted with blue light and my photosensitivity HATES it#itâs just. UGH I hate things costing so much money all the time :(#and idk if crowdfunding would even be successful. plus I think Iâd feel bad bc thereâs others out there who need it more than me even if#my need is totally valid yknow??#anyways. enough vent posting for now
0 notes
Text
it infuriates me that i had to be born w a bum eye. most ppl who got coloboma dont have any vision loss w it but i just had to be part of the ones that does have vision loss. and through the years its ruined my perfectly okay eye too so it cant see well now either. and its just gonna get worse forever!!!! and i got cataracts in it!!!!!!!!!!
#i... hate to think abt it#and ive never asked her..#but coloboma is semi common w fetal alcohol syndrome#lolol shed get so defensive#i hate it. i know she did the best she could and that she loves me..#i wish i could .. idk fix my eye its so depresssing having to deal w it#or idk i wanna spoon it out#sometimes when im angry that i cant see something or i cant see well in general i go into a crazy monologue#abt removing my eye#as violently as possible#cause u know the violence is part of the reclaiming#what am i even saying anymore...#idc#cataracts point is important btw cause if they remove the cataracts i lose all vision in that coloboma ridden eye#doctors said to me its not worth it cause it still gives me peripheral(?) view of stuff#but honestly i feel like id be better off w that fucker carved out of my face#.. they wouldnt do that obviously theyd just leave it in to be a gross reminder#just dull and not responding to anything#fucking EW#im gonna be sick i think thinking abt my eye situation
1 note
·
View note
Text
dual life | sjy
pairing: mafiaboss!jake x fem!reader genres: smut, angst, slight fluff wc: 10.8k+
ê° đ
warnings ê± :Â swearing, mention of drugs and illicit things, mafia stuff, jake implicitly jealous, oral sex (f. receiving), nipple sucking, unprotected sex (do it safely, please). lmk if i missed anything else.
ê° đ
synopsis ê± :Â being a serious and respected businessman was the only side of him that jaeyun wanted you to know, afraid that he would let you into his life and, over time, you would get to know not only sim jaeyun, but also sim jake, the mafia boss.
ê° đ
notes ê± :Â idk how, but i thought about it for a day and just wrote it down. i let my mind run wild and wanted something completely different for jake, so here it is. i hope you like it!
ê° đ
part 2 | masterlist ê±
The corporate environment could be challenging and misogynistic when a woman holds a position of great power. At first, the fear hit you hard when your name was molded onto a plaque and, below it, the title of the boss was stamped. But alongside all this, you found yourself supported by your colleague and partner Sim Jaeyun. The first man who saw you with respect, who treated you like a boss and a partner, who handed you demands with the same intensity as he handed demands to other men in the company.
He was incredible when he signed the contract to share that company with you. And it was a good deal because once your name was linked to Jaeyun's, everything inside that building seemed to be moving perfectly toward success. Numbers and shares grew faster and faster, and meetings were shared late into the night where you and Jaeyun reviewed what you had done so far, whether you needed to change any strategies in your approaches, and how you two could take the next step.
You were surprised every time because even though he was there for everything, his word was always final. Jaeyun seemed to want your approval even if his vision was the opposite of yours. It was as if your permission was worth more than his, even though you saw him think for a while before making any decisions. Carefully and cautiously when he asked you about shares and employees, about investments, and what he should do, he was careful and very intelligent, but in his view, you were so much more. So having your approval before his was more important.
This meant that the two of you shared more time than necessary, apart from being in the office. Jaeyun constantly calls you to have dinner and go over some papers when, in reality, the two of you did everything but go over papers. Or when he called you for coffee in the middle of the day to de-stress from an annoying client in question, you gladly accepted because the combination of his company and a hot coffee was all you needed after a moment like that.
What started as routine things became a little different when Jaeyun became warmer towards you at work. It was hard to tell at first since he was always very professional and the looks you got from him were either approving ones or small smiles after a good idea in the corporate environment. You never noticed anything more than that. Until that moment. Where he made a point of touching your hand when he sat next to you, reaching for your pen while he was resting on the other side. Or when Jaeyun would gently rest his hand on your lower back so that you would enter the rooms before him as if he would lose sight of you at any moment even though the room was quite large and there was no way he could lose sight of you.
Dinners no longer had the excuse of work stuff, Jaeyun just wanted to go out and talk to you about everything other than shares, money, and boring investors. He wanted to know more about you, he wanted to hear you tell stories and he wanted to share his too. However, in this respect, you could feel him wavering a little as if he was afraid to talk about something he shouldn't have.
In your mind, Jaeyun had something difficult he was dealing with, so he tended to be more reserved about it, but you learned enough about him as the dinners became weekly. Every detail about his life â which he managed to share with you â and every quirk you picked up on as the two of you spent more time together. Jaeyun was a little box of surprises that you were trying to unravel little by little.
But as things naturally grew closer between you and him, something about the boy's behavior caught your attention. From time to time Jaeyun seemed more scattered at meetings, as if his mind was anywhere but on the words of an old, gray-haired man talking about work. Or how dinners between the two of you became the company cafeteria, him refusing â politely â to go out with you with the excuse that he was too tired. But at the same time, he didn't want to break his silent promise that you and he would share a meal at least once a week.
That didn't bother you, after all, you still had his company even if the dishes varied from pasta with fancy sauce to ramen that he asked an employee to pick up at the corner convenience store. That wasn't so important, at least Jaeyun was sitting in front of you with a faint smile and talking about how hard his day had been and how he wanted to go home and be with his dog.
Everything changed that night. You did everything in your routine, working tirelessly in your office while receiving a few emails from Jaeyun to line up a thing here and there. Answering a few calls and dealing with the staff as best you could. After you finished work, you just wanted to be in the cafeteria and try another flavor of ramen that Jaeyun had bought, claiming that you would love it. Your mouth was already starting to salivate because you knew he could find the most unusual flavors, always impressing you with the smallest things.
But your heart sank when the door to your living room opened, revealing Jaeyun and a grocery bag. Everything happened slowly before your eyes, even though the scene itself was so fast.
âI can't stay todayâ Jaeyun's voice snapped you out of your reverie, the bag placed on your desk while his hands were now hidden inside the tailored pants he was wearing.
âWhy? Did something happen?â you asked, trying not to sound disappointed enough for him to see that he had messed with you.
But what you didn't know was that Jaeyun knew you as well as you knew yourself. Your every expression, tone of voice, everything. He knew exactly how you felt, perhaps because he was the same way, but also because he watched you too much.
âSome personal problemsâ he sighed softly, looking away from the bag to you âI brought you the ramen, so you can try it and tell me what you think.â
Jaeyun tried to smile to lighten the mood, taking his hands out of his pockets to fiddle with the bag and take out the bowl, showing you the new flavor he'd found. You bit your lower lip to keep from letting out a sigh or saying something you shouldn't have. Your heart was strangely bothered by it.
âIt's no fun without you, Jaeyunâ was the most you could say without sounding desperate or showing too much.
He felt the weight of everything fall on him as his eyes fell to the pot of ramen, seeing a spark of sadness shine in your eyes as your hands touched his and took the pot from his hand. Putting it back in the bag, you closed it and pushed it towards him.
âIââ Jaeyun turned away from your table, not wanting the ramen packets back âI'm sorry, Y/n. I really have to go.â
âJaeyunââ
He was afraid that if he heard you say anything, he'd stay for dinner with you. That's what he wanted most. But he couldn't. Jaeyun had to leave as soon as possible before everything went to shit. So, just as quickly as he entered your office, he left and closed the door before he heard anything else come out of your mouth.
You stood there at your desk, staring at the bag that had been left there. It was the first night since you two started eating together that he didn't stay. The first night that Jaeyun barely looked at you before saying goodbye. He didn't even touch your hand as he did when he picked you up for dinner or coffee. He was so distant that it seemed like you didn't recognize him.
Meanwhile, Jaeyun was racing against time to try to balance the double life he was leading. Getting involved with you wasn't in his plans, not least because corporate life was just a façade for him, so the moment he found himself nurturing any feelings for you, he knew he was screwed. Jaeyun couldn't fall in love, but he also couldn't help feeling it when everything seemed natural when he was with you. Your presence made him forget all the bad things he experienced outside that office. That is there he was Sim Jaeyun, your partner and someone who was slowly taking over your heart.
But unfortunately, that couldn't be forever and he knew it. Leaving the elevator and walking hurriedly to his car, he took off his jacket and threw it on the passenger seat, the place where you had sat countless times in your work clothes as beautiful as any woman he had ever seen in his life. That symbolic place belonged to you, even if he didn't want to admit it. Jaeyun let his head fall back against the steering wheel of the car, uttering swear words that he remembered and that made his body explode with rage.
He wanted to be Sim Jaeyun forever. Your partner, the man who was slowly making you fall in love.
But leaving there he was Jake, one of the mob bosses who was now rushing to help his friends with new charges and problems coming up.
The sound of his fingers drumming on the marble of the table was a little louder than usual. Jaeyun tried hard not to show how annoyed â and angry â he was to be there that night. He knew it would be impossible to hide from his friends how much he disliked being there, but at the same time, he couldn't forget what an authority figure he was there too.
âAre you in a bad mood?â he heard Sunghoon's voice cut through the air, entering the room with all the grace he had compared to the other boys. Jaeyun sighed, stopping his drumming to slide his hand to the glass in front of him and drink all the liquid it contained. He wasn't sure what it was, but he would thank Heeseung later for putting in the highest alcohol content he could find.
âDon't tease me, Parkâ he replied after feeling the burning go down his throat.
Sunghoon laughed a little and sat down next to Heeseung, facing Jaeyun.
âI asked you a question, broâ he said, âWhy are you in such a bad mood? Jay and San have already managed to corner those idiots and take what they tried to steal from us.â
Looking at it that way, Jaeyun could be relieved. Smuggling drugs wasn't something he was proud of doing, but he knew how respected he was for carrying on his father's work as well as he would have liked. At the time, Sim wished he hadn't been so good and just stuck to executive work, without getting involved with the family mafia. But he knew how much confidence his late father had and how much he wanted Jaeyun to take over.
âI know, it's justââ
âHe's mad because we ruined his date with his girlfriendâ Heeseung winked at Sunghoon, who quickly understood everything.
âShit, tonight was the night of your romantic dinner.â
âIt's not a romantic dinnerâ Jaeyun tried to make amends.
âI told us not to call him, damn it, Heeseungâ Sunghoon pretended to be angry, knowing that there was no way not to call Jaeyun. This was of a gigantic magnitude and even though the two of them were his right-hand man, they couldn't make decisions without consulting him first. A form of respect for their best friend, who had taken them in even after taking on a dangerous and important position.
âWhat did you want me to do?â Heeseung tried to defend himself, sliding down the back of the chair and running one hand through his hair âThey tried to rob usâ he continued âMy only thought was to run to the shed and stop it, but I couldn't do that without Jake's approval.â
Jaeyun listened intently as the conversation unfolded in front of him. Heeseung and Sunghoon knew that they had complete freedom when it came to any decision, especially if Jaeyun was playing the role of partner in a big company. Wearing a suit and tie, expensive tailoring, and with you by his side. It was a persona he wanted to maintain, even though reality hit him every time he received a call from his best friends informing him of something concerning his second job.
He ran a hand through his hair, the sting of the drink gradually fading from his throat as he looked at the two boys still talking.
An absurd urge to disappear and leave the business to the two of them, to run to the office because Jaeyun knew you'd still be there working, eating the ramen he'd left for you. A strange tightness in his chest made him sigh. He had left you alone for the first time after everything had happened. It wasn't because he wanted to, but Jaeyun was afraid of involving you in the second life he was leading. He didn't want to put you in danger, make you go out to dinner with glances lingering between the two of you.
That life brought Jaeyun and his friends a lot of good things, but just as many bad things. He walked around with plainclothes security guards all the time, but it wasn't as if he could do that for you without your permission. It would be handed to him on a plate to tell you about his life in the mafia because on what pretext would Jaeyun say he wanted to offer you private security? It wasn't as if it was necessary for the life of a company boss. No one would want to hurt you for that. So with his lack of creativity in coming up with an excuse, he found himself doing the one thing he didn't want to do: hide you.
Dinner in the company cafeteria was safer than parading around with you by his side, even though it was the only thing he wanted at that moment more than anything. Holding your hand again with the excuse that the restaurant was full and he didn't want to let you out of his sight. That may have been true, but a large part of it was because he was worried that someone in disguise might harm you.
Jaeyun had declared enemies and he knew what some were capable of. Anything could be done against him, but no one should lay a finger on you.
âJake!â Heeseung's shout brought him out of his thoughts quickly, blinking hard to regain awareness that he'd been immersed in his thoughts for too long âDude, do you have her on your mind again?â
âAt least disguise itâ Sunghoon muttered.
âI think I'm going to shoot your ass, you idiotâ Jaeyun pointed at his friend, getting up from his chair.
âCalm down man, I'm kiddingâ he said âMessing with her really puts you in a bad mood.â
Jaeyun ignored it because he had no way of refuting it. He realized that everything that involved him made his nerves frayed and his feelings more acute. It wasn't as if he could control what he felt. If he could, Jaeyun would have chosen not to involve any feelings because he wanted to protect you. But the next thing he knew, any little detail about you made him lose his mind. He wanted to keep you close, he wanted to feel you, he wanted to have you even if it meant risking everything.
A remnant of conscience made him keep his touches a little simpler, although he felt the absurd urge to grab your waist and feel your lips pressed to his.
âI'm going to check what Jay's got so farâ Heeseung got up too, passing the seats and going around the table to leave the room âAny news I'll let you two know, so keep an eye on the phonesâ and left.
Now with Sunghoon being the only presence in the room besides him, Jaeyun felt the weight of everything almost crush him. His friend's gaze almost pierced his insides because he knew how Sim felt. Sunghoon had a better view of Jaeyun's feelings than the other two.
âSit downâ he said when he saw his best friend lost in thought, barely able to utter a word apart from opening and closing his mouth a few times. Obeying, Jaeyun sat back in his chair âWhat's going on?â
What about? He wanted to ask but knew it was a waste of time. There was nothing Park Sunghoon couldn't figure out. So the other just sighed, leaning back even further in his chair and closing his eyes.
âI shouldn't have liked her in the first placeâ it was almost natural to let it out, as if he wanted Sunghoon to hear those words âThings should be professional, I should just focus on the actions and nothing else. Then go back home, deal with the mafia problems my father left behind, and later think about marrying the daughter of some other mafia boss.â
âBetter than marrying Y/n?â Sunghoon asked.
It was strange that his best friends spoke your name. This was proof that the two worlds Jaeyun lived in were colliding. Then he opened his eyes, wanting to scream out everything that had been squeezing his chest for the last few hours.
âThat's what happened to my father, I justââ
âIt doesn't have to happen to youâ Sunghoon interrupted him with a certain kindness, although there was none in his tone. He still looked at his best friend as he said each word with deep sincerity âYou fell in love with her and you have to go with that. Make Y/n part of your life like Sim Jaeyun andââ
âDon't even finish itâ it was his turn to interrupt him âI would never bring her to meet Jake Sim.â
âBut if you two got engaged, sooner or later she'd find out about the double life you lead, manâ Jaeyun hated how certain Sunghoon seemed about anything. He was the most rational when it came to work and personal life and always had the best advice. He was responsible for not letting any of his three best friends commit any kind of madness.
âThis can't happenâ his hands ran frantically through his hair, messing up every strand that Jaeyun managed to get his fingers through. He wanted to pull them out of his head in a moment of small sanity but came back to reality when he heard Sunghoon's voice next.
âMaybe you don't need to tell her at first, but it might make Jaeyun's life a little more enjoyableâ he said calmly, âYou really are falling for her, we can see that.â
We. Jaeyun had always been good at hiding his feelings, from the prettiest to the worst, from his friends. Or so he thought since he had to swallow so much just to make his father proud and be where he was at that moment. Bringing Sunghoon, Jongseong, and Heeseung with him was a baggage of confidence and a remnant of the normal life he had before getting involved in the family business. The only three people in his circle who knew everything, who never judged him, and were always there for Jaeyun. The best childhood friends who stuck together, and that in itself made them get to know more about each other every day.
That's why the three of you could see Jaeyun slowly falling in love with you. Although the words never left his mouth, the way he talked about you could already be deduced from afar. The sparkle in his eyes when he opened a message from you on the meeting table in the room as Jake Sim. The spark of a feeling emerged as he replied sweetly. When the boys attended a company dinner as fake investors, talking to you about the profit they could generate for your and Jaeyun's company. The reality was that they were there at Sim's request to check if anyone was a possible suspected smuggler or rival since his name had been talked about so much in the city at the famous dinner. He was afraid of someone showing up and ruining the double life he had fought so hard to hide.
It was the first and only time the three of them had met and talked to you, but it was enough to see the way Jaeyun looked at you. How he behaved next to you and the tired sighs he released throughout the night as each man approached you. Before, your name was a legend to them, Sim Jaeyun's lousy partner in the company, but when they saw you in person, it all seemed to make sense.
Now we know why Jake fell in love so easily, Heeseung almost lost his teeth when he made that comment inside the shed, after counting out three hundred and eight suitcases of cash. Payment for the container of drugs they had distributed. Jongseong was in charge of separating his best friend so that he wouldn't beat Heeseung to a pulp, while Sunghoon calmly intervened.
Everything went so slowly until he realized that he had fallen too hard for you. In the feelings he was having for you.
âWhat can I do about it now?â Jaeyun finally looked at Sunghoon, really looked at him. Looking for an answer and no longer wanting to run away from what mattered at that moment.
âHow about making amends and asking her to dinner?â he asked.
âI don't want to go out with her and be seenâ You know, I don't know who might be following meâŠâ
âCome on Jake, how many men do you have doing security for your dead father's mafia?â he glared at his friend, always teased by the way Jaeyun didn't like to say that it was all his now. It would be easier to say that it still belonged to his late father, that all those men followed the command of Mr. Sim, to whom Jaeyun gave his voice. He didn't like to be called boss, although it happened at the teasing of his friends.
âManyâ Jaeyun answered him.
âThen put them in charge of her security once a weekâ Sunghoon swiveled in his chair, his eyes never leaving Jaeyun's for a second âWe have enough men to put in one a week without her noticing, and you'll still be able to go out with her in peace.â
He seemed to ponder this for a moment. He didn't want to be awkward about mentioning to you that men were escorting you for your safety, after all, he was afraid that something would happen to you even if the two of you had no involvement whatsoever.
âThat's a very good idea, Hoon, butââ
âThere's no such thing, you know it's the only way if you want to have something with her.â
For a while longer he seemed to think about the possibility. It wasn't as if Jaeyun was hiding something terrible from you, not least because he would be looking out for your safety. He'd also be freer to go out with you again for the dinners you two shared during the weeks.
âNot to mention that if you and she start dating, the security will be doubled, don't you think?â Sunghoon stood up from his chair âEveryone will know about her if something gets serious.â
That was Jaeyun's fear, that everyone would know about you besides him and his best friends. In that world where he was Jake Sim, there was no way anything could be hidden. It wasn't like the world where Jaeyun could get away with it under an expensive suit and a lot of stock. He sighed heavily, throwing his head back without the strength to continue the conversation. Knowing how right his best friend was.
âRight, thanks for the advice, anywayâ Jaeyun asked.
âAt your serviceâ Sunghoon smiled âAre you going to stay there now? I'll check on Heeseung if Jay needs any help tooâŠâ
âI'll stay a while longer, I'll be going soonâ he said, still sitting down because his body seemed to be weighed down by the barrage of information and advice thrown at him in such a short space of time.
Sunghoon walked to the door of the room, opened it, and turned to Jaeyun with a playful, silly smile on his face.
âYes sir, bossâ giving a mock salute, he ran off before Jaeyun could gather up a load of papers to throw in his direction, but Sunghoon was quick to close the door. Not before hearing the other swear at him for his provocations.
Jaeyun got to know you little by little, his first impression being of you as a strong and fearless woman. Someone he could easily work with among the men who underestimated you and who made him feel angry. Little by little, he noticed how easy it was to live with you and how you could read between the lines when things were happening. He was surprised when he started to notice the moment you felt uncomfortable in a meeting or in the presence of a man who tried to put you down, or how he could understand how bothered and angry you were with some stupid comment or action that had gone wrong.
Over time, he realized that he knew a lot about you just by interacting with you professionally. But when he decided to take a step and invite you to dinner, under the pretext of reviewing something from work, Jaeyun knew he was ruined. He knew that the first sincere smile you gave him had ruined and torn down any barrier he had built over the years in an attempt to not bring anyone into the dark and double world of his life. Jaeyun didn't want you to be a part of that.
So trying to push you away and keep you safe was the first and only thought he had, swallowing the physical and carnal desire that consumed him for wanting to have you in his arms. He couldn't afford to make the mistake of going around glimpsing you and your beauty, enjoying life as a couple that he knew was dangerous.
Sim Jaeyun was a good man, but Sim Jake was the opposite of that. And between the two personas he found himself divided on what to do because he knew that in both his lives, he was in love with you. It was the only thing he couldn't separate.
He knew it was too late to try to make Sunghoon's advice count for anything. Arriving at the office the next day, Jaeyun knew he had screwed up when he saw the bag of ramen on his desk, the two untouched pots very well placed next to the papers he needed to fill out during the day. What surprised him was the way you treated him throughout the week.
Professionalism took over again and you were the Y/n he had met when he joined that company and took on the role of being his partner. He saw the old woman with whom he had shared the management of that building and whom he had always admired â later he had fallen in love â and now he was back to the beginning. At least you, because he felt that he was falling more and more into your charms and letting his feelings take over.
It wasn't easy that you were monosyllabic in meetings, your gaze never meeting his, and every time you both needed to talk about any decision, you said you were busy and asked Jaeyun to talk to your secretary. You were running away, he knew that. So it could only mean that, besides being upset about him leaving you that night, something told you that you also had feelings for him.
Because no one would be upset about canceling a dinner. Even with the shitty excuse he gave you, if neither of you had feelings for each other, Jaeyun wouldn't have been frustrated to get Heeseung's call that night and you wouldn't have been upset to see him leave without even eating with you and then leaving.
It was a silent competition of who was handling it the worst way possible.
But he didn't know that jealousy was being added to the mix when he saw a new investor smile at you. How bold he was to approach you after the meeting, in the coffee room, and ask if you wanted to go out for something to eat.
I've seen this happen before, idiot. Don't even try. That's what he hoped the look would convey, but Jaeyun forgot that you hadn't looked in his direction for a few days, trying to ignore him as best you could. That's why you accepted the invitation. A little hesitantly because it had never happened before, other than Jaeyun, it was the first time that any man inside that building had invited you for something other than your partner. At that moment, after so many days, you looked in his direction, afraid of what you might feel when your eyes met. But seeing the discomfort on Sim's face seemed to give you some satisfaction.
âI still have a few more things to take care of, soââ the man extended a hand to you, gently holding yours. His touch was gentle and you tried to smile a little wider, looking away from Jaeyun to the boy in front of you âDo you mind meeting at the restaurant on the corner in half an hour?â
âNo. Itâs okayâ you replied, feeling him squeeze your hand and lean in to kiss your torso, pulling away and letting go of your hand. He smiled at you once more, returning to the circle of men that was in the other corner of the room to say goodbye and do what he had to do.
You thought you should chat with your employees after a meeting, have some coffee like you always did, and then go to your office. But Jaeyunâs gaze was starting to make you feel strange. He didnât miss a single movement of yours, from the moment you moved to get a cup of coffee to when you approached your secretary to whisper to him.
âIâm going to my officeâ you said quietly, not wanting to make a fuss with anyone. âIâll be leaving for dinner soon, okay?â
âYes, maâamâ he smiled at you, looking away to Jaeyun and swallowing hard. Your secretary had always been a bit wary of the man who was staring at you, but since there had never been any disagreements, that was passed on as he showed himself to be completely professional.
Jaeyun had never felt jealous until this moment, watching you gracefully leave the room and close the door.
It was all his fault and the idiotic way he tried to push you away even though he wanted to keep you close. Now, not knowing how to act, Jaeyun had to witness that scoundrel of someone asking you out and, worst of all, you accept it.
Something settled inside him and, without measuring any effort, he walked out the door quickly to your office. His mind had never worked well under pressure, whether from anger or jealousy like it was now. Jaeyun had never been jealous, after all, he had never met anyone who aroused that kind of feeling in him. It was like an urban legend or only hearing about the romantic stories that Jongseong and Sunghoon had here and there. But he had never felt that in his life.
When he stopped in front of your office door, his heartbeat almost rose to his ears as adrenaline and anxiety ran through him. Jaeyun didn't know how he would act after finding you in your office and confronting you. He knew something would happen, you could feel the tension in the air every time the two of you were in the same room, he just didn't know how intense it was. He had a slight impression, but he couldn't decipher you from that yet.
He decided not to knock, gripping the door handle and turning around without beating around the bush, entering right away before you could say anything else.
âWhatââ you quickly turned around from the table, where you had been facing away until then, packing your things and ready to leave. Your heart almost jumped out of your mouth at the sight of Jaeyun standing in the middle of your living room. The thud of the door as it closed went unnoticed by your ears and the only sound was your own racing heart. âJaeyun?â
He approached slowly, one step at a time as he thought about what to say or how to act. You could tell how fast his chest was rising and falling due to the rapid breathing from the fright he had gotten seconds ago.
âWhat are you doing here?â you asked, trying to stay calm as he continued to approach. The steps stopped just a few inches away when he cornered you between his body and your table, making your body almost bend over if it werenât for your hands being quick enough to hold on to the edge of the table.
âYouâre not going to this dinnerâ the authority in his tone of voice made your legs tremble, but you were grateful to hold yourself firmly against the table and your hands tightened their grip on the edge. Jaeyun still had the ability and knowledge to read you so perfectly that when he saw your mouth open â probably with the intention of asking why â he was faster and leaned in to press his lips to yours.
He expected anything: a slap, a sudden pull away, a loud curse that could echo throughout the building. But the surprise came when you let go of the edge of the table to spread your hands against his chest, slowly moving up until you grabbed the collar of the shirt he was wearing, pulling him closer to you.
You were an amazing woman and he knew it, every single thing you did drove him crazy. And feeling you pulling him between your legs, giving way by opening your lips and welcoming his tongue and tangling it with yours.
Everything seemed magical to Jaeyun and you. Each touch took its time, something that had been repressed until now. He brought his hands to your hips, keeping you in place as he made a small effort to lift you up and sit you on the table.
Your pride in trying to ignore him was going down the drain more and more, as Jaeyun intensified that kiss and moaned against your lips. You should have pushed him away and gotten out of there when it was time, but now it was too late. He was tangled between your legs and his hands were doing a great job squeezing you and sliding down to your lower back to slide down to your ass. It was your turn to moan against his lips, your nails going inside the collar of his shirt and scratching his shoulder to mark something against the skin you wanted so much to know.
âJaeyunâ you whispered breathlessly and he swore that was the best sound he had ever heard in his life. Pulling his lips away from yours to get some air for his lungs, he let you ramble on as he lowered his mouth down your jaw. Feeling the taste of your skin and the texture of it between his lips, marking a path of saliva until it reached your neck.
âYes, babe?â Jaeyun had no idea how much he moved you, because if he did, he would never call you by that nickname in the form of a whisper, while still kissing your skin and sucking a good amount of it between his lips. The pop noise he left after a long suck, certainly leaving the spot marked a few minutes later.
âI needââ you wanted to say that you needed to go, that this would be a provocation on his part. But your mind wasnât working right and it didnât help that he started pressing his hips against yours. âHoly shitâ you moaned softly, the hardness of Jaeyunâs cock slowly making the right pressure against your still-clothed clit. You couldnât say how he had the exact notion of where to press and how to press.
âI already told you that you wonât, Y/nâ Jaeyun gasped against your neck, moving his kisses up and trailing the tip of his tongue across your skin until his face was level with yours again.
That sight was hell on earth for you. Jaeyun with his lips red and shiny from the kiss they had just shared, adding to the kisses and hickeys on your skin. His eyes drooping and dark with desire staring at you with a possessiveness you never thought you would know. You wanted to be able to say something, but it was impossible while you had his hands on your shoulders now.
âTell me if this is too much, okay?â What did he mean by that? What was Jaeyun thinking when he asked you that kind of thing? It was already too much to have felt his kiss in a situation like that, but you were sure that it was too much to have his fingers unbuttoning the buttons of your shirt.
Every particle of your skin is exposed for his eyes to admire even more. You were never one to wear low-cut tops at work and his sanity was grateful for that, so he didn't know what to do as each button was undone until he reached below your breasts.
âShitâ he cursed softly, praying that you wouldn't hear the hint of vulnerability in his voice as he noticed the light lace adorning your breasts. They were beautiful and he didn't want to think about anything else but touching them. But Jaeyun didn't want to rush, he needed to feel you because he had been depriving himself of it for so long and almost lost.
When the last button was undone, he bit his lower lip to keep from moaning at the sight of you naked in front of him, sitting on the table with his body between your legs. Jaeyun would be lying if he said he had never thought about being in that position with you, or any other, where only his cock inside you and your voice moaning his name would be enough for any scenario to be propitious. He felt like a pervert for it, but there was no denying the desire that radiated inside him every time you showed up.
Leaning down, Jaeyun left a kiss in the space between your neck and your collarbone, enjoying the sounds you made and smiling against your skin when he didn't hear any objections from you. This meant he could continue with the kisses until he reached the curve of your breast, tracing the outline with the tip of his tongue. He looked up, seeking eye contact with you and when he did, he knew he was where he belonged. The way you looked at him, the tense and longing expression you maintained as you held his gaze was all he needed.
âCan I continue?â he asked.
âPlease, yesâ you answered, nibbling on your lower lip at the same moment that Jaeyun's teeth slid over the lace of your bra, lowering the fabric enough to expose your chest. He was on the verge of madness to taste every part of you, but desire consumed him with every reaction you had to his touch.
The tip of Jaeyun's tongue circled your exposed nipple, making a moan run through the room as it slipped out of your throat. He felt his cock tighten even more in his pants with each sound you made. His hands â which had previously remained calm when touching you â now impatiently ran over your shoulders to remove your shirt with a quick tug, going to the middle of your back to unbutton your bra and rip it off your body as well. Turning his attention back to your breasts, he sucked your nipple with such desire while his large hand covered the other and squeezed to feel its softness.
You were on cloud nine, his every touch coated with possessiveness and desire, making your head spin as you felt Jaeyun's warm tongue against your nipple. The silent sucking compared to the sound of your moans, while your hands quickly went to his hair to pull the strands as a sign that he would never stop what he was doing.
But he also didn't intend to take his mouth off your body. If Jaeyun could talk at that moment, he would tell you how good it was feeling every part of your skin, hearing every one of your moans, and he still hadn't done half of the things he wanted to do with you.
Missing your mouth, he went up to your lips again to share another kiss, this time a little more sloppy and slobbery. Your tongues ran against each other for dominance while your mouths fit perfectly, the synchrony of the movements making you both gasp into each other's mouths.
Jaeyun's hands went to your hips again, but this time his speed and strength came to the advantage as he took off your skirt along with your panties. At another time you could notice how skilled he was and wonder â or not â why he was in such a hurry or knew how to do it so quickly. But now you just wanted to focus on the cold air of the room hitting your pussy and how Jaeyun released your lips with a lewd and wet noise.
It never crossed your mind that Sim Jaeyun, your partner, the man you had seen many times seriously across the room â regardless of the number of times you had dinner together â and for whom you were harboring feelings, would now be kneeling in front of you. He was perdition personified in that submissive and vulnerable position. His eyes were bright, like a puppy begging for a reward. And you knew that what he wanted, besides making up for lost time, was to be between your legs like that.
A mutual and wordless agreement between you and Jaeyun was drawn at that moment, with him slowly approaching your pussy and you opening your legs enough to accommodate him even more. As a test, he stretched out his tongue and licked a long strip from your entrance to your clitoris, collecting your essence and feeling your taste linger on the tip of the wet muscle that he passed through your entire intimacy.
âFuck, Jaeyunâ you tilted your head back, the deliciously warm sensation of his tongue licking your pussy was too much to handle. His hands wrapped around your thighs and held them wide open as he licked a little more, seeming to be hungry as he collected a little more of your essence.
You rested your hands in his hair, your legs feeling like jelly as Jaeyun moved a little further. He focused on sucking on your clit, circling his tongue over the sensitive bud as he looked up to try to catch some reaction from you. Your head was thrown back, but he wanted you to look at him, just once. Just once to see him eat you like a good meal.
âLook at me, Y/nâ Jaeyun asked hoarsely, pulling his lips away from your pussy to get your attention. You wanted to pull his hair and bury his face in your pussy again, the lack of contact with your clit made you whimper softly, it was a great torture. But you had to obey if you wanted to feel him again, so your head lifted, your eyes searching his to find the sinful sight.
There was no way Jaeyun could be that desirous more than anything else, it was impossible that that man could look so good in any position or situation. You almost cursed him if it weren't for how quickly he maintained eye contact as he approached your pussy again. This time he sucked you more slowly, drawing circles on your clit and maintaining eye contact, not losing a single second of his eyes on yours. He moved one of his hands away from your leg to slide between your folds, introducing his index finger into your hole.
âIâ Fuck, don't do thisâ you pressed yourself against his finger, the introduction being too much for you. He wanted to fuck you so badly now, with your moaning and your eyes nearly closing, it was torturous to keep them open as he inserted the second finger and continued to suck on your clit.
The movements were now combined quickly, making him alternate between scissoring movements and rotating his fingers inside you, at the same second he sucked your clitoris and ran the tip of his tongue over your pussy, opening your lips so he could spread his saliva along with your essence. The wet sound of his fingers going back and forth inside you, Jaeyun's prominent knuckles almost making you come undone right there. Your walls sucked him so deliciously that he wanted to feel his cock being buried inside you and how hot it would be to be inside there.
The thought alone made Jaeyun feel his underwear get wet, he knew that his pre-cum was almost overcoming the tailoring of the pants he was wearing. It was already too much to have to endure all of that without being able to feel the slightest relief in his cock. But when he decided to introduce the third finger inside your pussy, it was as if he had seen the vision of heaven. Your head fell back again, you couldn't keep your eyes on him.
âY/n, lookââ
âCome up here, please,â you begged. He gave your clit one last kiss as if to taste you one last time before moving up his body to be close to you again. His fingers continued to work your pussy harder and harder as it clenched around his sliding, wet digits.
When Jaeyun brought his face closer to yours, you didnât wait for any response other than to place your lips on his, sharing the taste of you that lingered on his lips. It was all so intense as your body shuddered and the knot in your stomach broke. You hugged Jaeyunâs body between your arms and held him by the hips between your legs, your pussy convulsing on his fingers as his mouth muffled the most obscene and loud moans you could make calling his name. Cumming on his fingers so hard that all of your liquid easily ran down the palm of his hand.
He wanted you to take the time you needed to catch your breath, the intensity of your orgasm taking over every cell in your body as he was careful enough to pull his fingers out of your pussy. You moaned and whimpered, the lack of contact making you feel empty and weak, but something sparked in you when Jaeyun pulled away enough to bring his fingers to his lips, licking the length of his cock until he reached the palm of his hand.
âI knew you tasted amazingâ he whispered, completely cleaning up what had been your orgasm liquid until there was nothing left.
You pulled him back to you, running your thumb over his chin that held more of your liquid. Jaeyun smiled slowly as he felt your soft touch, your fingers sliding down it until they reached the waistband of his pants.
âY/n, donâtââ
âShhh, itâs okayâ you kissed his jaw, your lips slowly sliding down Jaeyunâs neck to part of his exposed collarbone âIt must hurt, huh?â
âNoâ he lied, moaning the second your hands undid his belt and opened his zipper so his cock would be less tight. He wasnât good at that kind of lie per se, but he wasnât stupid enough to want to demand too much from you either, considering the intensity of your orgasm, Jaeyun was already happy to see you satisfied like that.
âWe can make this less painful for youâ your voice whispered so sensually that he almost came undone right there, his Adamâs apple bobbing up and down before he felt your mouth kiss him, right in the middle of his throat. âPut that down for meâ your request was an order that had no objection, so Jaeyun quickly pushed his pants along with his underwear, his cock jumping out and hitting against his pelvis and stomach. Your eyes quickly scanned down, seeing the size of it and sighing at the thought of it being inside you in a few seconds.
âY/nâ Jaeyun moaned, an absurd need to have any kind of touch from you against him. Then your fingers quickly went to the head of his cock, red and shiny with pre-cum, spreading all the liquid with the sole purpose of stimulating him and teasing him a little. âWhat the fuck, shitâ he cursed.
It was too much to suffer, considering that Jaeyun had been untouched for a long time, even more so after hearing your moans and seeing what your body was capable of with just a few touches from him. Impatience took over and he pulled his shirt by the collar, not bothering to undo any buttons, he just wanted to get rid of any piece that held him and feel the heat of your body against his.
âI wantââ he moaned again, pushing his hips against the palm of your hand when you held the base and went down the entire length, masturbating his veiny and thick cock between your fingers. Jaeyun wanted nothing more than to feel your touch and what you were making him feel.
âWhat do you want?â you asked, your lips still against the skin of his throat, slowly sliding down to one of his ears to whisper the words. He spread his hands on your thighs, squeezing the soft flesh and pulling your body over the table so that he was at the edge of it. Your hips and your pussy are a little more exposed to him.
âI want to be inside you, Y/n. Iâ fuckâ Jaeyun knew he was being a mess just moaning and fucking your fist as your hand tightened more and more on his cock. Spreading the pre-cum all over the length until it reached the base.
He went crazy when you leaned in enough for a ball of saliva to escape between your lips and slide down to the head of his cock, spreading some of it along the length with your â almostâperfect aim. That helped spread it even more across Jaeyunâs cock and he couldnât take it anymore, it was too much for him and the boy was afraid he would explode in his hand and cum right there. It would be shameful to do this without him being inside you, even for a few seconds.
âY/n, pleaseâŠâ it was his turn to beg now. The feared Sim Jake would never do this, would never be in this role, much less Sim Jaeyun. Both respected and feared, but now he just wanted to be yours and beg for whatever you had to offer.
Without further provocation, you knew how painful it was for him. And your pussy got wet again just from the sounds he made and the unfolding of the scene in front of you. Positioning his cock at your entrance, it was a silent invitation for him to insert himself into your hole. Your hands left there to hold him, one on each side of his neck, letting Jaeyun lead the movements.
Slowly he thrust his cock into you, the warmth of your pussy and the wetness of your juices being enough to shelter him so well and facilitate the entrance of his cock that you swore it would not be possible to fit. Soon he was all the way inside you, his breathing uneven as he finally had his cock shoved into your pussy.
âHow do you feel?â Jaeyun uttered with some difficulty, his chest rising and falling quickly as he leaned his body towards you.
âAmazingâ you tried not to moan, pulling his face close to yours so that his forehead rested on yours. âYou can move nowâ your request, again, became an order when Jaeyun finally moved his hips to remove his cock and leave only the head inside you, returning with a slow but strong movement. His pelvis touching your clit with the movement.
He could no longer hold back his good manners and the desire to go slowly, wanting to make you feel every time his cock entered and left your pussy. Jaeyun pressed his fingers into your thighs, leaving marks that could be seen later as his nails dug into your skin, gaining momentum to start the movements. The sounds of skin slapping and the wetness of both your arousals are the perfect symphony accompanied by the moans that you and he left in your living room. It was visible the way you tried to keep your body each time Jaeyun thrust his cock even deeper into you, the burning slightly appearing in your groin with each more force that he thrust inside you. Your walls fluttered around his cock and sheltered him each time he entered with even more force.
âShit, you feel so good.â Jaeyun gave a small smile when you tried to say something, only managing to moan and nod in agreement. Knowing how hard it would be for you to say anything at that moment he went faster and faster, pressing his fingers harder and harder against your body, now moving up to your hips. He felt you move your body against his, rubbing your clit against the length of his cock each time he pulled out completely before burying him deep inside you again. Jaeyunâs pelvis stimulated your sensitive bud each time he went so deep that there was no space left between your bodies, his balls slapping against your thighs and adding even more to the obscene noises in the sex between the two of you.
Jaeyunâs cock twitched as your pussy tightened, indicating that your orgasm was just around the corner. He was also about to cum, practically holding it in for so long that he feared how much would come next.
âI needââ Jaeyun whispered.
âInsideâ you cut him off, knowing he could cum just by the way his hips bucked between thrusts. Your hands slid down his neck and up to his cheeks, cupping his face and pulling him in for a kiss. Your tongues tangled, your lips quick and desperate for some pressure as he picked up the pace to drive his cock even deeper into you.
A combination of his hip thrusts and the pulls he gave your hips to meet him, he felt your pussy clench around him so hard that it was enough for Jaeyun to spill. He came, painting your walls milky white as he moaned your name relentlessly. You werenât far away and it only took a few more thrusts for you to cum on his cock. The white ring formed around his length as he continued to thrust in and out of you, not indicate that he was stopping just because cum was still gushing from the head of his sensitive cock.
With one last movement, your pussy milking every last drop, Jaeyun stopped moving. The strength draining from his body and giving way to calm, the high serotonin running through you and him after you both came together.
Jaeyun left a slow kiss on your lips, waiting a long minute until he finally pulled out of you. The sensitivity hits you both and makes you moan into each other's mouths.
âSorryâ he said as he knew you might be hypersensitive, even though he wanted to stay inside your pussy all night if he could.
âOkayâ you replied, smiling tiredly before looking to the side and searching for your clothes. He went faster before lifting his underwear and pants, leaving a hint of sadness in your body for depriving you of the sight of him practically naked in front of you. But what caught your attention was that Jaeyun picked up his shirt from the floor, stretching it towards you.
âI donât know where there are tissues, butââ he smiled a little, using the sleeve of his shirt to clean you between your legs.
âJaeyunâ you tried to stop him, but it was too late. Jaeyun cleaned you so carefully that it was practically impossible to believe, especially after what the two of you had done and the marks he had left on your body.
He helped you change, putting each piece of clothing in its proper place and still waiting for you to fix your hair, turning to him after a long time. The stain on the sleeve of his shirt, after it was put on, made your cheeks burn more than looking into his eyes and thinking about what the two of you had done.
âSoâŠâ you began, looking at him with a shy smile. Jaeyun smiled too, biting the inside of his cheek to keep it from growing even bigger as he got closer and wrapped one of his arms around your waist.
âThen Iâll take you home, and weâll have dinner properly again from now onâ as a couple, he wanted to add. But that was too much for just one night, Jaeyun wanted to tell you that as the two of you went out more often.
Explaining the fear he felt about his feelings for you was the most that could come out of Jaeyun's mouth. That made him feel good enough to not think he was lying â completely â to you. He was really afraid of what he felt, but at the same time, he was afraid of bringing you into his double world. The last part was still a secret, but at least hearing that you forgave him and that you accepted having a relationship with him was all that needed to be said.
Two months in which Jaeyun stopped being afraid to tell you what he felt for you. That the two of you, besides being business partners, had become a couple. You started to frequent his apartment and met his friends too, those who had to lie about their professions and never let it slip that they worked for Sim Jake, who you didn't even know.
Two months in which you had private security, unknown to you because Sunghoon's idea was better. At least one man every week took care of you from afar and kept Jaeyun informed in case anyone suspicious approached. No consequences were made as the relationship progressed. He was a little more relieved. Keeping it just in Jaeyun's life was what he wanted for a while, if things really progressed and became even more serious, he had to tell you about his other life. But there was no need yet.
âLoveâ your voice made him abandon the thoughts that constantly intrigued him, afraid that you would leave him at any moment for the lie he so wanted to get rid of, but couldn't. Looking in your direction, the smile came automatically when you approached him, going around the office desk to sit on his lap âIs everything okay?â
âWhy do you ask?â in the last few months Jaeyun let the thought pass that you could also read him the same way he did with you. That you knew him as well as he knew you.
âBecause Iâve been feeling quiet for a few days nowâ you wrapped one of your arms around his shoulders, at the same second he wrapped his arm around your waist âAnd because youâre twenty minutes late for dinner.â
Shit, the dinner. He had completely forgotten, staying inside the office to finish answering Jongseong and Sunghoonâs messages, trying to keep things out of danger with the new robbery that had been successfully carried out. He wanted to know if everything had gone according to the orders he had given that same morning, completely forgetting that he was supposed to meet you twenty minutes ago in the company parking lot.
âShit, love, Iâm sorryâ Jaeyun leaned in, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. His heavy breathing hit your skin and made you shiver. âI justââ
âHow about we go home, then?â you asked, one of your hands going up to his hair and trying to stroke it slowly. âYour day must have been kind of rough, those men are annoying when they want to go back on their proposals.â
Every time you deduced that Jaeyun's tiredness and fear had something to do with the office, his heart sank a little more. His breathing hitched and he wanted to scream. But he held himself back and just nodded slowly, kissing your skin and lifting his head to look at you.
âWait for me in the car? I'll fix everything here,â he asked.
âSure,â you smiled once more, that being enough to calm all the nerves that persisted in his body. You leaned in to leave a quick and simple kiss on Jaeyun's full lips. âI love you.â
âI love you, Y/n,â he whispered back, kissing you once more before letting you get off his lap to leave the room.
Saying that he loved you out loud was like freeing himself from the bonds that suffocated him, held him back, and hurt him. He had never said that out loud to anyone other than his parents and his best friends. At first, it was as scary as wanting a relationship, but as you said and showed your love, Jaeyun knew it was the right thing to do. He felt that all that love was overwhelming, that as intensely as it scared him, it was the only thing that gave him the courage to continue.
Turning off all the appliances in the room and turning off the lights, he headed to the hallways of the building, greeting the security guards and some employees who were still there. Going to meet you in the parking lot. He just wanted to go home, enjoy your company, and take a hot shower. Many notes Jaeyun could think about having sex with you and using it as a form of calming, but that night he just wanted to feel your embrace, and your smell alone being the only thing capable of making his mind unfocused from everything that worried him.
A natural calming that was always right in front of him, the person who was the perfect balance between chaos and what he needed to stay alive.
âJaeyun!â That was your voice, he could hear it from far away, but it wasn't like your call was as soft and calm as it always was. You were screaming. In desperation.
He looked around the open parking lot, trying to find you and why you seemed so desperate, but suddenly his world fell apart. Jaeyun's stomach was churning seeing your figure through the window of that van, screaming desperately and being pulled by someone hooded who wanted you to be quiet.
The car accelerated, making a complete turn in the parking lot before stopping next to Jaeyun and the passenger rolled down the window.
âWe have something that belongs to you, Jakeâ the man smiled with rotten teeth, Jaeyun ran a few steps to grab him, but the driver took off âWe want our drugs back!â he shouted before disappearing.
Your screams were the last thing he heard before the dead of night and the noise of the tires tearing through that parking lot. Jaeyun fell to his knees on the ground, the strength draining from his body. His scream echoed throughout the parking lot as he felt despair flood his body, along with the burning in his eyes and tears streaming down his cheeks.
What he feared most had happened. And he would stop at nothing to get you back.
© ikeuverse, 2024. do not copy, translate or steal my stories.
#enhypen#enhypen smut#jake smut#jaeyun smut#enhypen jake#enha smut#jake angst#jaeyun angst#jake x reader#enhypen x reader#enhypen angst#jake hard hours#enhypen hard hours#jaeyun hard hours#enha fics#enha angst#enhypen masterlist#enhypen imagines#bay writes.
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Constantly torn between saving up enough money to commission someone to paint something I feel deeply unprepared for, and painting it myself anyway just to challenge myself.
#i have a vision that involves a LOT of surrealist gore and violence and uh *cough* animal death but I'm also a wuss. đŁđ#also i can't draw horses worth shit. but i also want to learn. but i also don't know if i have the stomach. waugh.#idk how to describe my style except brightly colored realistic-adjacent anime with glam undertones??? and this would severely of brand#but at the same time i am a cinnamon bun with a needle inside of it and that needle craves blood sometimes.
1 note
·
View note