#idk if it’s a part 5 post lol

[violentdelightshavevioletends]

More Processing through Fourth Wing's Ending thoughts with me & SPOILERS!!! Day 2… (maybe 3… idk time😂 I’m running on 3 hours of sleep forgive me) of processing Fourth Wing’s ending (I’m only 1 chapter in to Iron Flame) & perhaps sleep deprivation is making me weak😂 or time is clarifying wounds but I kinda feel opposite of a lot of previous opinions right now So…

I’m sorry, I love you Violet; and honestly a piece of me (probably trauma) gets why she’s so hurt by Xaden. As someone that’s dated the wrong people I get it… betrayal hurts. When you’re that close to someone, things get messy; and if your heart was given on a platter, before that trust breaks it is terrifying. If you feel like they didn’t know you, didn’t trust you, didn’t think you worth it; or maybe you didn’t know them, couldn’t, and you just wanted to love them so much; because you love them so much. It doesn’t always matter if they warned you, it doesn’t always matter if they welcomed you it just leaves you lost. Even if maybe this time it is a right person… but I feel more sorry for Xaden.

Xaden who was a child. A child. Paying not only for his parents mistakes, feeling the pain of it not only in their execution and the trauma of watching it; but for 107 innocent children’s parents mistakes. It was up to him to keep those kids alive, while being a grieving traumatized child himself. He holds the weight of the world on his back rather literally. And he has since he was a child… that is a very long time to create a habit… to learn most people cannot be trusted and experience the distrust of almost everyone upon a mere first glance. And on top of that he is one of the few people who know the truth of their world, who has nothing left to lose himself, but everything to lose for everyone else. While being one of the few (if not only) people who have the power to take that information and actually make a difference, to be unpredictable & therefore avoid a pre-known future, to have the power & use ability to use it. And save everyone; 107 innocent lives, and an entire country. All the while not being the only one, he is not acting with all the control, he is a part of a much larger wheel. Every move he makes is watched, is a risk, for himself, for all he has left, and all anyone else has.

And that is not to excuse behaviors: he did not lie to Violet but he did not tell her everything, yet he did tell her that. He told her time and time again and while it was a classic “I’m not worth it” prove him wrong, he also proved it right; he never said he could say that, give that… and wouldn’t it be odd if he did? If he was willing to risk all of it for a girl he hasn’t even known a year; a girl who is the generals daughter, and best friend to a mind reader who could easily use that connection to betray them without her even knowing it. And yes, it’s different because it is Violet: Violet who is just as intelligent, could help so much, who has power, and above all is good; she wouldn’t risk those kids either. But taking that leap in telling her, while worth it, the risk was so high I understand why it couldn’t have been.

And also while I hate the rift this creates within them a little bit of me thinks it’s the only way they can go forward because Violet joined the rebellion by choice. She didn’t join for a guy, she didn’t join out of force, she joined because she saw wrong in the world and wanted to fix it. Because she is trustworhy, and good, and powerful, and brilliant. And maybe now they can finally speak without all these state lines and war divisions and fear between them.

Minus the fact it’s horribly complicated by grief, guilt, anger, confusion, and someone to blame.

But in that I really can’t stand the idea of any of that blame being put onto Xaden because of all people he is grieving Liam; his brother. His brother who isn’t alive, or a secret weapon of a rebellion to come back… one of the few people who knew more to him, and he is chalked up to be just another rider, another mark, another dead rider caught in a war of wrong things paying the price for debts that were not his own; like so many before (and what I fear to be) many after. Xaden doesn’t need the blame he already feels the guilt. He gave everything to protect the children of the rebellion, and he just lost one; one of his best friends & only family members left. He did everything he could to prevent it… but also he gave everything for that rebellion once again.

And that’s not to say he does not love Violet enough to do something, or love his people enough; no one is expendable to him and he makes it known right there & then. Run, leave, live… he practically pleads it. And when they do not he gives what else he can to saving as many people as they can… in that he loses them, he loses the last people he loves to fight for in the midst of fighting so others won’t. When it comes to Violet he does break the rules, he takes the step, he would’ve stopped it had he needed to… he flies for Liam still… he tries.

And she has every reason to feel hurt, to take space, to heal. Hell, to go on. But stuck this close and this far from one another is agonizing because he fucked up but it’s because of the situation… and while he messed up, it’s not all his fault either. Nor is this the point that should matter most. And while I’ve previously taken her perspective I just wanted to give a moment for his own cause they are both pretty heavy.

Now final new-ish point on the subject of all the intermixed and frankly “blame-placing”: that being Dain. Who may or may not have known, and may I be wrong, may he have involuntarily given Violet up or truly not known what that cost would be… while wrong… I imagine the price of Liam’s life will weigh heavily. Fucked up as it may also be he does care for Violet, it might not be in the right way… but if he didn’t know then maybe the unfortunate truth is none of them are the ones at blame.

Which leaves once again the rising question of General Sorrengail who I think is going to have a big secret and do something good for the rebellion and the Empyrean leaders who are probably awful psychopaths as I anticipate if correct.

So idk what this is but I guess there’s another perspective.

[zaahvi]

GLORY TO THE RISEN GODS

[n0heart]

.

[todayisafridaynight]

THIS IS GONNA SOUND SO MEAN BUT WHY DO U LIKE RYO AOKI/MASATO

masato hot

[kindahoping4forever]

PSA

If you are interested in remaining free of all tour spoilers, I'll be tagging all my show related posts with the tag: #the 5sos show tour.

If you still want to see content but your main concern is setlist spoilers, any discussion of the confirmed setlist or videos of songs from the show will also be tagged #the 5sos show tour setlist.

To clarify, setlist spoilers will sport both tags so if you decide to block them both, the post will show up like this:

And then if you see a blocked post bearing only the main tag, you'll know it's at least safe from song spoilers!

Happy tour season! 🥰🥰

[bylertruther]

i don't like season three when viewing it as a continuation of seasons one and two, but i do very much like season three when viewing it as the prequel to seasons four and five... hmmmmm.

[dorkicon]

bitching abt my job again

tags contain frank mentions of transphobia and homophobia

[new-lupin-iii-confessions]

important screenshots

[keeps-ache]

so Apparently a game i was running on my computer (without a cooler thing for a good minute there, because i guess i thought i was invulnerable to heat) may or may not have burnt out some parts of my machine. and it's been a couple months since i've played it bc it just stopped working one day and i just had to accept that lmao- but anyway i'm booting the game up again today, Surely this will go differently :3

[dbphantom]

romance dawn bubblegum-gum

[spacejammie-eimmajecaps]

I just had the weirdest dream

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[meejijis]

If I had a nickle for every time I got into a severely niche canon ships that has the trope gentle girl x brooding boys with spiky hair all while being the most lonely diehard shipper ever for both of these ships, I'd have two nickels

Which isn't alot but it's weird that it happened twice

[caruliaa]

this is like. it feels insane to do and i feel like i might just do it for a bit of a break but like. i kinda wanna change my blog theme and url and stuff to be hatchetfeild themed. im still into cs ofc but npmd has meant iv felt myself rly getting back into tht stuff, with finally watching nightmare time and everything and idk. i feel like i associate this current like. aesthetic and phase of my tumblr is smth i associate with a phase in my life when i had someone be a part of it and now they dont want me anymore or ig. its a bit self pitying to say that but they still yk. arent in my life anymore and its hard to not feel a bit sad with how my blog is rn with how much i associate stuff like this with them. idk maybe not my url im very proud of being tuser caruliaa but i think it wld be good for my pfo and blog aesthetic yk. ill change them back to cs eventually (and i also know im not tht active in rly any fandom on here anymore but i do wanna try to be a little esp in terms of like. connecting and talking with others) but i think it cld be a good change. or even like a cs theme thts different yk idk . but cs while smth i loved before and can love after them its also smth i shared with them a lot so i think focusing on smth tht i didnt rly share with them as much at least for a little bit wld be good for me yk while also reclaiming tht interest we did share ofc

[spacebugarts]

Porn bots keep following me again like girl don't come into my house unless you're here to listen to a 5 hour rant about V and why Mike and Martin should've been the new Kirk and Spock

[larentslovechaos]

ok i think i'm for real ready to live on my own now