#idk how to tag individual parts lol

[new-lupin-iii-confessions]

important screenshots

[myreia]

— v. raison d'être

It was never going to last. They knew it from the beginning, all of them. Their time in the First was temporary, fleeting. For some, that would have been enough to give pause, to keep distance. For them, it made these moments all the more precious—even when it was difficult, even when it was unfair. Ryne knows they are both proud of her. That will never change, even when they live in separate worlds. It is a bittersweet thing to say goodbye, to close one chapter and begin the next. But change is necessary, a fundamental aspect of life. There is no sense in clinging to the past when the future—with all its countless possibilities—lies ahead. There is no looking back. Only forwards.

[golbrocklovely]

cultish love // colby brock

A/N: first off, so sorry for this being so late, i had a lot of things i had to edit about this fic. also this is my longest fic ever ! like the other fic before this, this is a AU version of colby… where he, you guessed it, is a cult leader. and he is also corrupt (but like aren't all cult leaders). again this deals with some possible heavy themes, so give a good read of the trigger warnings before reading ahead. i've always joked about colby being able to lead a cult, and that's basically where this idea came from. this fic also took a turn i wasn't expecting, but i like it anyway. also the first half is written as a journal entry (all italized) and then the rest is an actual fic (not italized). lmk what you think, and happy haunting !

prompt: you're a journalist, and your next big story is on the 'empathic love' cult, led by none other than colby brock. this cult is not known well, but you are getting a first hand look at them and what they do. and quickly, colby takes a liking to you. || fem!reader x AU!cult leader!colby brock

trigger warning: SMUT, no actual sex but you do get mentally fucked (it will make sense in the story), cult vibes all around, love bombing, cursing, supernatural powers, colby is very intense and kinda scary but also still his charming self, slight dubcon similar in vain to sam's story - you never say no outright, but you do have general feelings of 'wtf is this, idk if i like' so if that's too much for you, feel free to read something else :), colby's aura is crazy good at giving you visions, strangers-to-soulmates?? don't know if that's a tag lol, also…. colby's technically bisexual in this????? but like barely

word count: 8610

I've been a reporter for only five years, and this story.... it could make or break my career. Cults aren't as prevalent as they once were way back when. They still exist, just in the shadows. A lot quieter on most fronts. Usually disguised as a business or religion, for tax reasons of course. But this cult, Empathic Love, is unlike any cult I've heard of.

Of course, they don't call themselves a cult, but that's what they are. How else would you describe a bunch of randos following one man around wherever he goes?

They only started so many years ago, right before I graduated university. The main founder, Colby Brock, is a pragmatic individual, according to his followers. The cult began blowing up in my town a little over two years ago, and now people flock from all over the world to visit the Love Compound. You would think it's Disney World the way people grow excited about it.

But I am here to get to the truth of this cult. What is their motive? What are they planning to do? Will this be another Waco or Heaven's Gate? What sinister beliefs hide underneath the modern-day hippie aesthetic they show?

These notes will document everything I experience for the next couple of days. And in case I go missing, these are my proof of who's to blame.

I don't think it will go that far, but you can never be too sure.

~~~~

Day 1 - Investigation

I'm still incredibly surprised I was allowed to come onto the Love Compound. The leader himself apparently reached out to my boss and told them that they wanted someone to come down and interview the group. They allow visitors from time to time, "new recruits" as some of the townspeople call them, but reporters have never been allowed in. Not once. Until me.

Driving up to the compound was nerve-wracking. I never imagined I would be nervous; I've interviewed plenty of criminals in my years, have done full blown investigations into scary, horrifying crimes. But something about this place freaked me out. Partially because I didn't know what I was getting into. But another part of me, and I will never admit this out loud, felt... at home.

The only promise I made to myself was I wouldn’t drink any kool-aid while there. So, I plan to stick to that. Pretend my previous statement never existed.

I was greeted by a beautiful woman when I got there: Avery. No one went by last names. And some apparently changed their names altogether, which was not surprising. My guess is there were most likely criminals hanging out amongst the group. But I had no proof of that, just a hunch. It easily could be a safe haven for those wanting to escape whatever life they had before.

The compound was three Victorian style mansions connected to each other and had a decent size farm attached - about 222 acres. Avery told me about all of the vegetables and chickens they farmed. Everything was organic and used up as often as possible. Anything that couldn't be eaten or produced too much for the only 100ish people in the compound, was sold at the farmer's market or given away to the local food bank. Avery explained to me very clearly that everyone in the compound chipped in one way or another. Some still worked normal jobs, but just lived here with everyone. But she noted that Colby hoped in the near future no one would have to work at all and they would be self-sufficient in a couple years.

A cult with future plans? Almost unheard of.

I told Avery that I was given an all-access pass to ask anything I wanted to, and nothing I asked could be ignored or deflected. She agreed to an interview. I recorded all of it, but here are the highlights of what I gathered.

I asked her why Colby was such a secretive man. There were very few photos of him that did exist out there, but all that was rumored about him was his alluring eyes and generally attractive presence. She agreed that he was handsome, describing his as having "ocean blue eyes" and his voice was to die for. "Deep and arousing", as she explained.

I noted that she seemed almost lost in thought at the idea of him, like she was envisioning him directly in front of her. Strange behavior; but not for a cult follower. Many end up falling in love with their leader, believing they have a genuine relationship with said person.

I bought up the name of the group, Empathic Love, and said it felt a little too inviting. She laughed and told me that it was right on the money - the best way to describe why everyone was there. She expressed to me that so many of Colby's followers wanted peace and love and light, and that being in this group felt like that. It was rewarding to be surrounded by those that cared and wanted to see each other succeed. Life outside the walls of the compound was rough, scary, draining; but inside, it was all love.

Call me cynical, but I don't believe that for a second. It took all the strength I had to keep from rolling my eyes at her. But I could tell from her voice, her motions... she was telling the truth. Well, her truth.

I wanted to know what brought her here, so she spoke of her previous life. She was abused growing up, moved around a lot in foster care. She was almost homeless, and then one day she ran into Colby. He had just begun the Empathic Love group, and she just knew she had to stick with him. Her life immediately turned around the moment he was in her life. The adoration in her eyes told me a different story, so I pressed her - "are you and Colby... together?" She smiled and said no, but she knew that they were life partners before, just not currently.

Oh... so it's one of those types of cults.

She said that Colby doesn't have a second in command, wife, girlfriend, whatever. Everyone is equal and heard. He's just the face of the group, which is a bit ironic given even I have no clue what he looks like. I knew he was young, in his mid-20s. But other than that, no idea.

I needed to know, why stay? What keeps you here? A dreamy look came over her, like she had said this a million times before: "Colby. He is love, and that's all anyone could ask for."

Chills ran up my spine at the tone of her voice. It was dull, and her words sounded like a mantra, the way she said them so easily.

I wrapped up my interview with her, quiring if I was allowed to interview others. She said yes and began sending over random people one-by-one to me.

If I hadn't gotten chills from her first, I would have from everyone else. Something about seeing everyone saying similar things, smiling happily, like the ship isn't sinking around them was eerie. It made my stomach churn when I would ask questions I already asked Avery, and get almost the same speech back.

I interviewed about 15 people. All variety of ages and genders. I suddenly realized that there were no children around, and everyone was over the age of 21.

Consenting adults… minus the supposed brainwashing.

A couple of the interviewees stuck out to me:

Penelope, 25. Her upbringing was similar to Avery's, but she still kept in contact with her family. Apparently, she wasn't the only one like that either. Many still kept in touch and even visited their loved ones. I asked her to describe Colby, tell me anything about him. She giggled, almost like a schoolgirl, and began to weave such a story about him. He was kind and caring. His smile was contagious, just like his laugh. And his singing voice was fantastic. She talked about him like he was a boy band member, and she was his biggest fan. I asked her to give one word to describe him, and she said "Love. He is love, and that's all anyone could ask for."

Greg, 36. He had fallen into rough times, and desired a fresh start. He had heard about this group online, and figured checking them out while he was in town wouldn't hurt. And that was a couple years ago. I wondered why he didn't feel weird listening to someone that was younger than him, and he shrugged. It was nice not having eyes on him. He loved being in a wallflower, and he believed that Colby deserved all the love he got from everyone in the group. Every ounce he got was ten-folded back into the group. Greg had never felt so connected to a group of people and he knew it was all thanks to Colby. "He brought love into my life like I never have had it before. Because that's who he is: love."

Heather, 29. She mentioned how for most of her life she felt like shit. Her confidence was at an all-time low when she met Colby. He encouraged her to keep at it, to love herself and find happiness everywhere. And by spending more and more time with him, she did. She has never felt more confident about herself, her life, her direction, and Colby is the reason for that. The tone that took over her voice when she bought him up was odd. It was very similar to a partner describing the love of their life, almost like wedding vows. I asked her haphazardly about her love life, how that was going for her. And she told me she had been on many dates - something she never used to do back when she was younger or before Colby. But she did note that regardless of who she ends up with, she knows that a part of her heart will always belong to Colby. They were connected, forever. "Love and light and happiness is what I desired, and I got it - all because Colby exists in my life now."

It felt like I was getting nowhere with some of these interviews. Many said the same thing, Colby being love and light and blah blah blah. I wanted someone that wasn't gonna just quote to me whatever mantra he made them learn. And luck was on my side, because I was able to interview their newest member, Ash. They were 23, and very beautiful. There was an almost smugness about them, like they knew they were the shiny new toy on the block. The confidence only a young 20-something year old could have.

I asked them, point blank, about Colby. Be brutally honest. They told me he was hot, and that's what drew them to him. They liked the idea of living in a group setting, especially since they grew up with many brothers and sisters. They liked helping out, and they liked knowing that Colby was keeping an eye on them the most recently. I then followed up with how long it took for them to join the group. "Three days. That's how long it takes for everyone."

I questioned them about the "Colby is love" thing, and they agreed it was a bit strange, but they couldn't help but feel the same way as everyone else. They were like a moth to a flame when it came to him. Everything about him was hypnotizing, entrancing. It was like staring at the sun; even though you knew to look away, you just couldn't help it.

Then I had to know: were they sleeping with him? Most of these cults feed off of the leader fucking every person they wanted to and leaving other members high and dry. But for some reason, it felt as if Colby was sleeping with everyone with the way they all talked about him. Ash dissented, saying no one was sleeping with him. He didn't sleep with any of his followers. But they all shared a deep, sensual mental connection with him. They felt like, sometimes, he was in their soul. And that sensation alone was euphoric, bordering on orgasmic. They also knew that in another life, they would have been together, similar to what Avery said.

It was then I knew that this group was clinically insane, or just really infatuated by what Colby was selling. It had to have been some crazy brainwashing. But it was odd; people were allowed to leave, to see loved ones, to have lives outside of the compound walls. Hell, some had dating lives that included those not here! That's unheard of, and completely stupid on Colby's part if he wants to keep things going.

A cult leader that wanted to watch his world implode.... I had to meet him. I had to meet the myth that was Colby Brock. And tomorrow I get my chance to.

~~~~

Day 2 - Interview with Colby

I feel the need to explain that these are my notes, not really meant for anyone else to see. And really, the only reason anyone would be seeing this is if I disappear or got murdered.

So, I say all of that just so I know, for myself, that this is a safe space for me to express my truest emotions and thoughts after interviewing Colby.

And all I can say, honestly, is that... I get it. I understand it now.

I felt my nerves hit their break last night before going to sleep, unable to stop my mind reeling from what was to come. I ended up bringing along a bodyguard, or really a photographer. I had known Trey since I started working as a journalist, and I knew I could rely on him to get us out of the Empathic Love compound if anything went south. I wasn't sure what I was up against when I went to interview Colby, but God... I didn't think I was so underprepared.

I met him in his office, Avery walked me over to it. It was up in the attic of the third house. It overlooked the entire property with wide windows. For an attic, I expected it to feel dark and dusty, but surprisingly it was light and airy. Almost like being out in the woods and taking a deep breath.

Colby was sitting in his main office chair. He spun around to see us, a light smile on his face. I'll be honest - I was taken aback by his beauty. I understood Ash's whole spiel about him being attractive and looking at him was like looking at the sun. It was intense. He was intense. His blue eyes bore into me, almost like they could see through me. I felt chills, but they weren't of fear. It was out of... excitement, of awe.

He greeted me, giving me a warm handshake. I hate to admit that I almost blushed at the sound of him saying my name. I had to take a couple deep breaths before starting. Avery left the room, and Trey sat outside the door, in case of backup.

I recorded our interview, knowing that I couldn't keep track of everything he said. But listening back to it now, his voice.... it's like a song. A beautiful, spellbinding song. I could almost fall asleep to it....

I asked him about his life, and how he came to be a leader for a group like Empathic Love. He spoke of his upbringing lightly, barely scraping the surface. He talked about growing up pretty normally, having a loving family, a great friend group, and then one day realizing that he could make a change in the world. That many people loved him and loved being around him. And that's when he knew that if he could make their lives better, he would. So, he started Empathic Love. Originally, it was just gonna be a safehouse for those that needed it. But then more and more people joined and suddenly, it grew into what it was today.

I asked where his family was now. "In Kansas," he told me. He said nothing further than that.

He humbly spoke of all the love he received from his followers, or his "friends" as he put it. They all cared about him in a way that he only wished he could return tenfold. I questioned him about the whole "Colby is love" thing. "How come everyone says almost the exact same thing, like they've been brainwashed into saying it?" He didn't even trip over his words as he spoke matter-of-factly to me. "I didn't come up with that phrase, they did. You would have to ask them. I take it as the highest form of a compliment, truly. I'll be honest, it's a bit embarrassing at times when they call me that, but I can't help what they do. I appreciate their love, nonetheless."

I continued asking him about different topics, until finally reaching the one I was most intrigued about. "How many of your followers - excuse me - friends, have you slept with?" He smirked, smirked, at me and said "None. Did any of them tell you that we slept together?"

"No, but the way they talk about you like the sun shines out of your ass does seem a bit odd, don't you think?"

He looked unphased. God, he had an answer for everything. "I'll be honest with you, some of my friends might be in love with me. But I make it abundantly clear that while I love them, and love their love, I don't have feelings for them. I'm still looking for the one."

I remember holding back a glare, "So, you're celibate?"

"Now, I never said that." He let out a chuckle, then his eyes darkened. "Why do you care so much about my sex life? Unless of course, you want to join it."

I tried ignoring his gaze and his words but stuttered through my next question. “Then who exactly is the right one for you, if it's not one of your followers or friends?”

It took him a while to answer, he even closed his eyes for a bit. He sat up once he knew, sauntering over to his window that overlooked it all. "I imagine the one for me is someone that will bring peace to me and my life. Someone that for all my faults, can see who I am truly deep down. She will love me, and I will worship her. I will show her what true love feels like. Our souls will be one, because they always have been."

Something strange came over me. I don't know why I said it, but I uttered, "What about looks?"

Who cares about looks! Why did I ask about looks? I was a serious journalist, not a reporter for Star Magazine!

He looked over his shoulder at me, "Looks aren't that important to me. What matters is mind and soul. Who you are deep down. But if I had to pick… someone like you. I feel someone like you would be a perfect fit around here."

I wanted to give him the sassiest voice and rebuttal I could muster, but deep down I was shaking. Energy raced through my body, like I had been electrified.

He kept his back to me, staring out the window. “I'm not trying to be overly complimentary. I'm just being honest. But I can tell that you would do so well to have us around. To have... me, in your life. I bring a lot of love to people's lives, that's for sure. But I also bring a lot of drive, and passion, and intimacy.”

Intimacy?

“People open up when I'm around. They tell me everything, even things they never dreamt of telling another person. And I allow it, because clearly, they needed to express it. And once they do, it's like the floodgates open. Love and light just start pouring into them, into their life, and it's overwhelming - but so worth it. Doesn't that sound nice?”

I guess so...

“I bring happiness to so many. My friends have told me that they get jittery around me, I'm like a shot of adrenaline. And that energy, that power, courses through them. And when it gets expressed, it comes out in…” He took a long pause, turning back to me. The look in his eyes… I can remember it as if he was still in front of me. “Pleasurable ways.”

I hate admitting this, and it's embarrassing to say it even now, but I felt a jolt of... something, run through me. I won't even say what it was out loud, in fear of never being taken seriously again. But what happened after that, I don't know if words can even express it well.

Colby continued talking, but I couldn't pick up on any of it. He was talking up a storm, but I couldn't help the sensations I was feeling. Even in my wildest of fantasies, I've never felt anything in reality. It was all in my mind. But in that very moment, it felt like it was happening to me.

I felt lips tread up my neck, stopping just below my ear. A hot, low moan breathed into my ear. My spine tingled at the sound, my hands gripping the armrests of the chair. If I didn't know any better, I would think Colby was behind me, making those noises. My hands suddenly felt hands on top of them. My eyes widened, looking down, but nothing was there. I couldn't really move my arms once the invisible hands were there. My whole body felt numb and heavy, relaxed. My mind was the one on edge, worried as to why I was feeling all of this.

I hadn't eaten or drank anything at the compound. Maybe it was being poured into the room by the vents? I don't know, but something was making me feel this way.

The invisible hands drifted up my arms, massaging my shoulders for a moment. My head lulled back, almost hitting the back of the chair. My mind was on high alert, but my body was about ready to fall asleep. The hands relaxed me so much that my eyes began to flutter.

But then... they drifted down my torso. They traced along my neck gently, drawing small, insignificant patterns. The hands grew lower and lower until they finally were on my chest. I felt the hands cup my breasts softly, my breath hitching in my throat. They kneaded my tits gingerly, my nipples hardening in my bra. I bit my lip, praying that I wouldn't make a sound. It was hard not to, especially when the delicate fingers of these invisible hands found my nipples, gently pinching them.

I remember closing my eyes tight. Trying to clear my mind. This wasn't actually happening to me. There was no way. This was a psychosis or a drug hallucination that was happening to me and Colby was doing nothing about it.

One hand drifted down my body, stopping right above my sex. I suddenly became very aware at how wet I was, my eyes widening. I felt a rush of blood flow through my cheeks. I was about to get caught. These invisible hands made me wet, and I couldn't stop them.

And the terrible thing was, I didn't want them to. I wanted them to finish the job. To get me off... in front of Colby. One hand rose back up my body, grabbing my neck and turning my face to look up at him.

A deep voice whispered harshly, "You want him, don't you?"

I didn't say anything, afraid of what would come out. But deep down, I knew.

"Say it, and it's yours. Say you want him. And he'll have you... forever."

I opened my mouth. I felt the words almost leave my lips. I stuttered out something. I closed my eyes, my body feeling high.

And then in a split second, it was all gone. The room grew quiet, and Colby cleared his throat. "Y/N, are you okay? You look flush."

I jolted out of my seat, being able to move freely again. I looked around and realized Colby was sitting once more, staring at me concerned. I finished the interview abruptly, saying I had everything I needed - even though I definitely didn't. And then he uttered words I wish I didn't hear.

"If you want, come back tomorrow. We are having a celebration here. I would love if you came by, even if for an hour."

I nodded, not even really taking in what he said, and left. Trey was confused as to why I bum-rushed out of the room, but I never told him the truth. How could I?

I knew deep down I shouldn't have said yes to go to the party. But getting that footage would be killer for my article. Interviews are great, but a party at a cult compound? That's bound to end terribly (for Colby, but great for me).

But something in me can't shake this feeling that I basically signed myself up for the end. End of what? I'm not sure. But I'll find out tomorrow.

~~~~~~

Stepping back onto the compound made my heart race. I was nervous as all hell, and just wanted this day to be over with already. Today was my last day doing this story. I was counting the minutes to when I could go back to my office and write about how this place was insane, or whatever narrative I planned to write.

I had enough proof that something was up here. All I needed to do was a bit more digging. And during the party is when I planned to do it.

Avery walked up to me, smiling brightly. "Hey, Y/N! How are you doing today?"

"I'm okay. I know it's a bit early, but Colby never specified when the party was going to take place." I replied.

"No, you're totally fine. The party is gonna happen later. Right now, though, we have something going on that you'll definitely want to see." She clapped excitedly.

"Oh? And what is that?" I questioned.

"We are inducting a new member!" she exclaimed giddily. "There's a whole process that we do, and everyone is involved. I imagine that will bode well for your article if you see it firsthand. It's all taking place in that tent."

I stared over at the huge tent, its plastic cover doors strangely inviting.

I hummed, "Sure, I'll be there in a moment."

Avery nodded, turning on her heels and prancing over to the tent, following in other members.

"What's happening in there?" Trey asked.

"Apparently they are inducting someone new into their cult." I informed him.

He blinked. "Group, you mean."

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, whatever. Make sure to capture as much as you can."

He shook his camera, giving me a wink, "On it."

We both walked in, many members still up and around, giving everyone hugs and chatting. Avery waved me down, patting the seat next to her. I walked over and sat. My body tingled in anticipation. I wasn't sure what was going to happen. My breathing picked up as everyone grew silent, the doors opening. Colby walked in, and people rushed to their seats.

Colby called out, "Hello everyone, good morning."

"Good morning, Colby." Everyone said in unison.

Jesus, that was creepy.

"A lot of things are going to be different today. First, we have guests watching our festivities. Y/N and Trey. Everyone, give them a hand." He gestured to the two of us.

The tent exploded in applause, Avery evening rubbing my back sweetly. It felt like I was being congratulated on something I didn't achieve, my cheeks flushing at the acknowledgement.

"And secondly, sadly, the new member we were going to have decided not to stay." He frowned, his face dropping.

Members gasped, some audible "oh no" echoed around the tent. Colby nodded his head sympathetically. “I know, but fret not. I think this will be a learning experiment for our new guests. We can still do our traditional motions of having someone join us. But, imagine it as if it's a mock ceremony instead. Ms. Y/N, would you please step up here?”

My heart stopped when he looked into my eyes, the first time since yesterday. I glanced at Avery, who grinned enthusiastically. She pushed me out of my seat, my body following her lead. I gazed around, finding Trey, who pulled away from his camera with a concerned look. I stumbled up the walkway, stepping on stage with Colby.

Colby lowered his voice so I could only hear him, moving away from the microphone. "I know you wanted to know about how we induct someone into our little home, so I figured why not use you as an example? We aren't actually inducting you, in case you’re worried. This is just what would happen if you were joining. Are you okay with that?"

I gazed around the huge, white tent, making eye contact with many people in the audience. They all looked so eager, waiting to hear my response. Some were even shaking with excitement.

I stuttered, feeling Colby squeeze my hands to bring my attention back to him, "I-I guess so."

"Fantastic." He turned, still holding one of my hands, "Alright everyone, you know the drill."

The crowd cheered, suddenly many lining up to a microphone at the side of the stage. Colby lightly pulled me to a cushioned throne, sitting me down. "So here's what's going to happen. People are going to come up to that microphone, and they are going to give you plenty of love. Genuine love. And then the next person will go, and so on until everyone has spoken."

"Everyone here? Like, all hundred plus of you?" I whispered.

"Yes. It's gonna be a while, so get cozy." He laughed, rubbing my shoulders.

Time felt frozen as slowly everyone came up and said something nice about me. Some were quick, mostly just commenting on how nicely I dressed or how the stories I had covered in the past were interesting and thoughtful. But others, it's like they could see into my soul and point out the exact thing I was insecure about. Everyone was complimentary and it was nice, but exhausting.

The line had dwindled down, and the next person to speak was Avery.

She stepped up the microphone, giving me a huge smile. "Hi, Y/N. I know we don't know each other that well, but I feel like I've known you my whole life. These couple days of getting to know you, being interviewed by you, have just been the highlight of my life. You are such a lovely presence to be around, and you deserve all the success you've gotten these last couple years."

Lots of people in the crowd nodded, agreeing with Avery. She continued, taking a deep breath, "I wanted to add - you are so deserving of love. You are easy to love too, and I hope that you are surrounded by people that make you feel that way. I know that this is just a mock ceremony, but I truly believe you would be such a great addition to us. I know you don't trust us, but I hope that soon you will find that you have a safe place here. Even if you never come back here again. This is your home now, and forever will be."

My chest heaved suddenly, tears welling up in my eyes. What the fuck is happening right now? Why was I crying at what she said? Sure, it was sweet and kind, but... how did she know I needed to hear that?

I turned my head, wiping the tears before anyone could see them fall. The crowd clapped as Avery left, going back to her seat.

The last couple people were a blur, my mind still hanging onto Avery's words. Suddenly, a hand was placed on my shoulder, jolting me out of my thoughts. I gazed up, seeing Colby's beautiful face staring down at me.

"The ceremony is done. Now, time to party."

~~~~~~

It had been a couple hours since the ceremony, my body feeling almost numb but jittery all at the same time. It was hard to shake all the love and words that were thrown my way today. Sure, some were probably just lying and saying random things because they had to, because they were conditioned to. But it freaked me out how some just... hit the right spots, knew my insecurities.

The party itself was fine. Two of the houses had parties happening in them, and since all three houses were connected, you could leave one and walk into another. There was a dancefloor full of people, and multiple fully stocked bars. Tons of food was at each table. It honestly looked like an adult prom. But I wasn't in a partying mood. Trey, on the other hand, was enjoying himself immensely. Girls and guys surrounded him, laughing at his jokes and bringing him plates of food and wine. One girl kept rubbing his thigh, staring at him longingly.

I wanted to leave. I had had enough of today, and I just wanted to be as far away from Empathic Love as I could be. I decided fresh air was what I needed, so I got up and slid out the back door of one of the houses, taking a deep breath. There were still too many people around, but I noticed the last house, the one with Colby's office in it, had no lights on and no one around it. I walked through the yards, stopping once I was by the back porch of the third house.

I sighed, leaning back against a railing. I could still hear the party going on, almost getting louder now that I wasn't there. I shook my head, feeling overwhelmed.

“Hey, Y/N. Fancy seeing you here." Colby's voice broke through my thoughts.

I exhaled. “Hi, Colby.”

He cocked his head, “Are you doing okay? You seem... upset.”

I felt this sudden rush of anger, knowing in reality he was to blame for all of this. “No, I'm not doing alright. I want to go home, I'm extremely overwhelmed by this party and all the people around here. That ceremony was too much for me to deal with, and the only way for me to get out of here is Trey and he's getting rubbed down by your followers!”

He took a step back, putting his hands up defensively. “Woah, that was a lot. You must have needed that release.”

I glared, “You think?”

“Look, I get it. It's a lot to take in. I myself don't love going to all these parties. It can be really overwhelming and if I'm honest, it gives me a lot of anxiety,” he admitted casually.

“You get anxiety?” I scoffed, “How? Everyone here loves you.”

“I know. That's the stressful part!” He sat on the railing, turning to me. “I'm the leader of this family. I have to make all the right decisions, and sometimes that means upsetting some of the people closest to me. Not to mention, so many eyes are on me, and it's just all too much sometimes. Even if you think this group is a cult, I still care for everyone here. I make sure they are fed, have a job, and have a life outside of here. And that's a lot to take on.”

“How do you deal with all of it, then?” I questioned.

“Patience. And a lot of alone time when I can get it - through meditation, specifically,” he laughed. “I was actually going to go meditate before I found you. Would you like to join me?”

I shook my head. “No, I'm good.”

“Are you sure? Look, at the very least, it will get you away from the party and all the noise. You don't even have to join me, you can just... sit in the room with me while I do it.” He argued, shrugging his shoulders.

I gazed at the party, everyone had grew rowdier while we were talking, and I didn't even notice. But my head felt like it was spinning from the noise alone. I sighed, nodding my head. Colby smiled, opening the door to the house, and I walked in first. I followed him up to his office, sitting down on his couch as he sat in the center of the room on the floor.

I raised an eyebrow. “That's where you meditate?”

“Yeah, I know it's a bit silly. But I feel so much more grounded... on the ground.” He replied cheekily.

I snickered, sitting back and watching him. He crossed his legs, resting his palms on his knees. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He took multiple breaths until they were low and shallow. I furrowed my brow, my eyes never leaving his form.

It almost seemed like he was asleep, or in a hypnosis of some sort. He was completely still and silent. A dull glow appeared at the top of his head, growing brighter and larger. I leaned away from him, my eyes widening at the sight. What the fuck is that...?

An aura grew around him, surrounding him completely. He didn't move, unfazed by it. His eyes remained closed, and with each breath it grew.

"How... are you doing that?" I uttered, my mouth a gape.

"Doing what?" He spoke in a monotone voice.

"That... aura. How are you doing that?" I pressed.

“I've always been able to do it since I was young. You can get closer if you want to.” He suggested.

How did he know I was still far away?

I stepped off the couch, moving closer to him. I kept my distance, but the aura was almost pulling me in. It was beautiful, the light reflecting and growing bigger. I was almost engulfed by it, but it stopped right before getting to me. I could feel its warmth, its energy. It was calling to me, beckoning me to step towards it.

The aura wrapped around me, filling me with light and love. Or at least that's what it felt like. I gasped at the sensation, my legs shaking underneath me. I breathed in deeply, my lungs filling up with fresh air. I didn't feel like I was in the room anymore. I felt like I was flying, the world almost zooming around me.

“Let your body relax, Y/N. I know it's so much to take in.” Colby’s calming voice spoke.

I felt my body give out on me, falling onto the soft rug. I laid down on my back, staring up at the ceiling. Visions began to swirl in my mind and around me.

How is any of this happening?

He answered, reading my mind. “Because of me. Because of us. Because of the connection you and I share.”

My body felt very heavy, unable to move even if I wanted to. I could move my eyes, and out of the corner of them, I saw Colby stand up. The aura remained around us, almost engulfing the entire room.

“You know, I knew the moment you stepped foot on to the compound's grounds, you were going to like it here. You were going to stay.” He smiled sincerely, gazing down at my body.

I blinked, confused. “What? I-I don't plan to-“

He cut me off, “This is the final step, Y/N. Everyone gave you love, people celebrated you, and now... I'm allowing you in.”

I wanted to shake my head, but couldn’t. “But I don't want to join.”

He chuckled, “Yes you do. If you didn't want it, none of this would have worked on you. You wouldn't be seeing what is directly in front of your eyes.”

The visions morphed around me, suddenly showing Colby and I. But we weren't us, we were different people, at a different point in time. But I could feel it was us. We were in love, growing a family together. Our lives were beautiful.

What the fuck is this?

“That is our past, or present, or future,” he winked. “The thing is, Y/N, I never seek out anyone. They all seem to find me.”

“That's not true, you emailed my boss about being interviewed.” I remarked.

"Oh, you are so forgetful, Y/N. You emailed us, begging to interview me and anyone else that said yes. I only agreed because I knew you wanted to meet with me. You sounded very eager to join in your email." Colby pulled out a piece of paper, reading from it happily, "Dear whoever reads this, I'm hoping to score an interview with your group, Empathic Love, for an article I am writing. I would love to meet Colby, and really pick apart his brain on why he created said group. Maybe I could even join if you guys win me over. Please let me know if any of this sounds of interest to you. Sincerely, Y/N of Global Gazette."

He leaned down, staring into my eyes mischievously, "Now does that sound like someone that didn't want to be here?"

My heart raced, suddenly scared. “Why don't I remember writing that?”

“I couldn't tell you. All I know is you wanted to be here. And there's a reason for it.” He sat down on the ground next to me. I wanted to get up and run, but my body stayed still, heavy. “Growing up, I realized very early on that certain people just... gravitated to me. A lot of women, yes. But really it was anyone. And not only did they gravitate towards me, they became obsessed with me. At first, I was confused, uninterested in ever going through that. Who wants someone obsessed with them? But then I realized how much good I could do with so many people rallying behind me.”

He continued, “As I got older, my ability, or power, or whatever it is - grew twice as strong. Suddenly, all the people around me followed me, did anything and everything I could ask for. Then, I began getting visions, and I understood why this was the case. Everyone here: we had a past life together. Their souls and mine have always been connected. They find me and then continue to stay. And almost always, they fall in love with me. It's just so glorious.”

“You're insane.” I mumbled.

He hummed, “Interesting, especially since you’re seeing the same things I am.”

It was true. The whole time he spoke, I saw vision after vision of our past lives together. We were always destined to meet, destined to be with one another.

“But the thing is, I know you're different from all the rest. You and I, we are meant to be together forever. You are meant to love me forever, and I am meant to love you. That's why my abilities affect you so greatly.” Colby divulged.

“What if I say no? What if I want to leave?” I grunted, trying to shake free.

“You've had the ability to go all this time. You just don't want to. You know how much love I can give you. You know how much pleasure I can give you as well.” He bit his lip, his eyes snaking up and down my body, “You've known that since yesterday, haven't you?”

Blood rushed to my cheeks, memories of yesterday played in my head.

“And do you know what’s crazy about that? That's not even half the pleasure I can give you.” Colby kneeled next to me, a devilish smile on his lips. His hand lightly brushed my face, cupping my warm cheek sweetly.

A burst of arousal raced through me, my body spasming in ecstasy. “Oh my God!”

“I know, it's a lot to take in. But I just want to make you feel good, darling. You deserve it.” He leaned in slowly, “You are mine, after all.”

"This is what your followers meant by a deep and sensual mental connection," I groaned, feeling hands all over my body, touching me in the most lustful of ways. "You got inside their heads and mentally fucked them."

“...That's one way of wording it. But if they didn't trust me, if they didn't already want me, it wouldn't happen.” He winced playfully, “So in reality, it's your fault.”

“Fuck you.” I growled.

“But baby, that's what's happening,” Colby laughed darkly. “Those hands, those kisses and bites... that's all mine. I can tell you're losing it. You want me real bad, but you don't want to admit it. I get it, you’re overwhelmed.”

I felt like my body was getting electrocuted with pleasure. My hips grinded into the air, needing some form of relief. My nipples strained against my bra, wanting any form of touch. I closed my eyes tightly, embarrassment rolling through me as I felt my damp panties against my sex.

Fuck, he was right. I did want this, and him.

I didn't even need to say it out loud. Suddenly I felt a cock slid inside of me, too easily from how wet I had become. I ripped my eyes open, looking around. Colby was watching me from his chair, smirking.

He palmed his hardening dick through his jeans. “Imagine how much better it would be if I was actually inside of you, filling you up with every. fucking. inch.”

I thought about screaming Trey’s name. Maybe he could help me.

He grimaced, rolling his eyes. “He won’t do anything for you, sweetheart. He joined our group just a couple weeks ago. Right around the time you sent the email. So really, you have all the more reason to join us.”

“Even if I join this cult, I will never stay here. I will leave here and never come back.” I hissed.

“And that is your choice to make. But Y/N,” his gaze lowered at me, his eyes intense. “You will never be satisfied. You got barely a taste of what I can offer you, and you're gonna want it forever. Just like everyone else here.”

“You're a- fuuuuuucckk!” I moaned, the cock inside of me hitting my spot deeper. I caught my breath, glaring at him. “Y-You're a freak.”

“Says the girl almost coming to my invisible dick.” He spat, clenching his jaw.

I bit my lip, annoyed at how right he was. The hands exploring my body gripped my ass, slapping it lustfully.

“Okay, okay. I'll agree with you. I am a bit of a freak of nature. But let's not act like I'm some monster. I let people leave. But they always come back because they choose to. I can't force people that far. Pinky promise,” He stuck his pinky out, and I rolled my eyes defiantly. He huffed, “It's not like this place is Scientology, for Christ's sake. We are love. I am love.”

“You are the most tainted form of love that I've ever met.” I retorted, gripping the rug to hide my building arousal.

He deadpanned, “Ow. That hurt.”

Colby strutted over to me, laying down right beside me. The pleasure grew more intense, my hips bucking desperately. His one hand hovered over me, never touching me. It didn't matter, because having him this close felt like his whole body was on top of mine, fucking me hastily.

“If you allow yourself to enjoy this feeling, you might actually come. Because I won't force you to. I'll just keep you here, for hours, riving in pleasure until your brain melts into goo.” He smirked, “How's that sound?”

"I-I hate you." I gritted my teeth. Why did I feel like I was lying?

"No you don't. But soon you'll be able to admit the truth." He leaned his mouth in close, his voice low and sincere, "I know that this place might not be what you imagined your home to be like, but it is. You will always have a place here. You will always be loved here. And I know that's what you want deep down. To be loved unconditionally. To have every fiber of your being satisfied. And if you let me, I will do that. I will please you every night, however you want me to. But for me to do that, you have to let me in. You have to let love in."

The cock inside of me pounded faster and faster. I could barely think anymore. The only thing on my mind... was him. The lives we had together, the life we could be having. I knew I shouldn't want it, but I did. I wanted him in my life, forever. He was what was missing, and I couldn't live one more day without him.

I mewled loudly, my hips thrusting up erotically. Colby's hand cupped my face gently, turning my head to look him in the eyes.

His alluring eyes stared deep into mine, his jaw clenched. "You will always be mine. I am love, and that is all you could ask for."

"You are love, and that's all I could ask for." I repeated mindlessly, grabbing onto his arm desperately.

His face softened, “That's right baby. You're such a good girl for me. My good girl, forever. You want that, don't you?”

“Yessss, please Colby. I want to be yours forever.” I keened.

"You will be. I promise, you will always be mine." His eyes darkened, the pupils almost completely blown out. "You will never leave."

"I won't!" I trembled, my orgasm building closer and closer to the edge.

“You wanna come, Y/N? Get close for me. Don't I feel so good inside of you? You like when I do this?” Colby's hand snaked down my body, rubbing my clit sensually.

I begged wantonly, dying to come. "Pleaseeeeee! Please let me come! I need it! I need you."

"Of course you do, baby. You and I need each other. Our connection is unlike anyone else's. Tell me the truth and I'll let you come." He leaned in close, his lips brushing against my ear, "Tell me, baby. Say it..."

"I love you," I cried out, right on the edge. I direly wanted him to say it back, knowing it was already the truth.

“I love you too, baby,” he smiled sweetly, kissing my cheek. “Now, come for me.”

Hot, white pleasure shot through my body. I had the strongest orgasm of my life, my mind shattering as I rode every wave of pleasure that went through me. Colby stayed by my side, shushing me as my high lowered down more and more. He kept whispering 'I love you' repeatedly, my mind unable to hear or think anything else after a while.

I blacked out at some point but awoke when my body was lifted off the floor and placed softly into a bed. “Wha... happenin?” I slurred.

“Relax, darling. I just brought you to my bed. Well, our bed now,” he chuckled. “I want you to get your rest because tomorrow is a big day for you.”

“What's tomorrow?” I murmured.

“Your introduction to everyone as my soulmate.” Colby informed happily, tucking me in. “Everyone will be so pleased that you changed your mind about joining us.”

I nodded my head, snuggling deep into his bed. He dimmed the lights, whispering softly, "Welcome home, Y/N."

[thewillowtree3]

Korrasami Secret Santa 2023!! ;DD!!

Hi, Korrasami fam!! We're back!! ;D!!

We're doing Korrasami Secret Santa for 2023!! (Sike, I did not copy this part from Korrasami Secret Secret 2022, but the rest I will LOOL). 6 years and kicking, babey, let's go ;DD!!

The rules are the same:

Korrasami creators will be able to gift one another with Secret Santa gifts. Whether it be fics, art, videos, animations…the fun’s all there! (It doesn’t have to be holiday-themed! It can be whatever you want :)

The Process:

This Secret Santa exchange will be done through drawnames.com, which is a Secret Santa Name Generator. You’ll need your email for this, and you can message me it directly on Tumblr (I’ll gather everyone’s names up, and put them into the generator when it’s time to draw names.)

The due date to sign up is 11:59 PM Nov 30, 2023 PDT (I’d like everyone to have ample time to do their Secret Santa gifts). :)

Most likely, you’ll need to make an account on drawnames.com (you don’t need to, but it’s recommended.  When you get to writing your Wish List on there, under ‘Hobbies and Interests’, make two different lists: One for ‘Fic Requests’, the other for ‘Art Requests’. If a writer draws your name, you’ll have a suggestion for what you want them to write. If an artist draws your name, they’ll have an idea of what to create! (Also, originally, this project only had fanfic and fanart- but if anyone can contribute any other talents, that’d be swell!)

Example: Fic Request- I want Korra and Asami cuddling at home with a fireplace!

Art Request: I want Korrasami going otter-penguin sledding!

The fic and art requests can be the same, or they can be different. Please limit it to one, or if you can’t choose, then two options. You can also note things that you don’t want (i.e. No smut or NSFW work!). You can be as specific as you wish.

Also, everyone else! We recognize that there may be people in the fandom who don’t create content, but still want to contribute! @lamftw​ came up with these great ideas four years ago, if you’d still like to participate in the Secret Santa. You can:

Create Korrasami memes! The more memes, the better :)

Share your favorite Korrasami headcanons! We’d love to hear them.

Share your favorite artwork/fanfic!

Share your favorite moment from LoK or share how much Korrasami means to you.

Create Korrasami memes, write a sweet holiday message/ note of appreciation :)

Also, we can all show some love to our favorite creators, to Bryke, Janet Varney, and Seychelle Gabriel (the voice of Korra and Asami, respectively). :)

When everyone has signed up, I’ll put all the names into the Secret Santa Name Generator. You should get an email, asking you to join the Secret Santa exchange. Just click ‘Join Group’, and you’re good! Once everyone has joined, the names will then be drawn, and you’ll get your chosen individual (you’ll get an email for this too). Please remember to check your email on Dec 1; we cannot draw names unless everyone has joined the Secret Santa group!

The reveal will be on Dec 19, 2023 (the 9th Korrasami Anniversary ;DD). Post your work on Tumblr, and tag the person you got, so they’ll know what lovely work they got! Also, please tag ‘Korrasami Secret Santa’ so we can save these posts for the future :).

Please note that if you sign up, you HAVE to commit to making something. This is open to all creators, of any skill level, but please please make something if you sign up. You don’t wanna leave anyone hanging!

Last note- remember to message me on Tumblr and give me your email. That’s the way to sign up! :)

Let's freaking go, y'all! LET'S MAKE THIS A GOOD ONE!! ;DDDD!!

Spread this to all your creator friends! LET'S GO FAM!! ;DD!!

6 YEARS IN A ROW!! LEGGO!! ;DDDD!!

Note- 11/27: Hey y’all, I’ve been shadowbanned recently LOL. Idk when Tumblr will unban me and give me my account back so ;__;. Because I’ve been shadowbanned, I cannot see any messages about the Korrasami Secret Santa :((. If I don’t get my account back before Nov 30th, I’ll just have to postpone the event and make a new date for it/prolong the posting date. I’ll keep y’all updated ;__;.

Note-11/28: Y’all, I just found out- Y’ALL CAN SEND IN ASKS!! I can still see them!! ;DDDD!! So if you still wanna join, please send me an ask with your email. I’ll still be prolonging the join/posting date if I don’t get my account back before Nov 30th, but this is a solution in the meantime!! :33

[unknownpisces002]

Bleed me dry, Make me blue

" She was born in limbo, with the, need to be as simple. As her, makers and the made up things she dreamed."

Shuri Udaku x Reader.

Summary

Fairly different from your peers around you? You're labeled as an outcast. For being far too incompetent to complete certain task and request from your leader, K'uk'ulkan.

As well as from your sister, Namora. Who doesn't make it easy, or let you go without knowing that you'll never be as dexterous, predominant, or treasured as she is.

Which you learned how to accept and live with after while. Because being reminded that you're nothing but a powerless individual everyday, who'll never be anything more except the useless being that you are? Tends to brainwash you and cause you to start believing that those assumptions might be true. Until you find yourself being intrigued by a prisoner, that is. And one of royalty from the surface world, who's encounter will leave you questioning everything you believe in–as well as yourself.

Word count: 6.7K

Themes: friends to lovers to enemies, and then lovers again, angst, eventual sexual content later in the series, slight violence, verbal abuse, reader just wants to be accepted and seen for who she is, forbidden romance i guess you could say?, reader is Talokanil, but we can pretend that she's black, because i wasn't 100% sure if they had any black Talokanil people during the movie?, eventual fluff, and etc.

Tag list: @inmyheadimobsessed @vixentheplanet @shurismainbxtch @pinkwright ( this is my first story ever on tumblr so as we grow together and embark on shuri and the readers journey? just let me know if you'd like to be tagged, and i'll be glad to put more names here in the future ❤️ )

Divider by: @firefly-graphics

Author's note

hi, i'm niy! and i'm a new writer who's decided to branch out from wattpad even though i love writing on there? to tap into something new and write about what i've been interested in lately? which is shuri/letitia. this story will be a series with idk how many parts yet? but i've been putting some thought into this for a while before actually typing anything out? so most likely? there will be a decent amount of parts lol. i don't really know if i have anything more to say, except that i hope you all enjoy part one, and if so? please feel free to follow me and things of that nature. as we proceed to experience this journey of shuri and our kind hearted reader together. 🥹

inspiration for this story period, came from jhenè aiko's souled out deluxe album. which you all probably would've noticed had i not said anything? because majority of the upcoming chapters? will feature a song from there and possibly her other albums she has. but this song specifically? really helped me piece everything together and it got my inspiration and ideas flowing.

but now with further ado? let's get onto the story!

There was an uproar occurring within the city of Talokan, as you paced around nervously in a circle, with knitted eyebrows and an accelerated heartbeat. Outside the front of Namor's cave, where you were being watched like a hawk by the guards who blocked the entrance. As you awaited for him to send some kind of message or bless you with his presence himself.

After Namora had showed up into your quarters unannounced, looking highly displeased and angry, like she always does. Whenever she's forced to take time away from her second in command duties? To be a sister to you–which she hates. And you know that she hates it.

Because she reminds you of it every single time, when the two of you are alone. And far away from other ears to hear, like they've done in the past. Which you were honest to God? Quite a bit thankful for. Knowing that she finally decided to belittle and tear down your demeanor in private? Rather than carelessly doing it around others, and ruining your chances at forming normal friendships or acquaintances with other Talokanil people, who were close around your age.

" Y/N?" Your breathing stilled along with your heart, at the sound of your name rolling off Namor's tongue. " K'uk'uklan." You kneeled before him, holding out both your hands in front of you, as you paid him your respects.

" Ba'ax ts'o'ok in meentik ba'al k'aas?" Rising to your feet slowly after he returned the hand gesture, you tried to steady out your ragged breathing. Seeing that your question had gone unanswered, and that Namor's eyes were boring into yours, with a glint of what looked like disappointment in them?

Translation: Have I done something wrong?

" In ch'ujuk ch'ùupalo' yéetel talamilo' ob?" Namor's eyebrow raised slightly, as he tilted his head to the side. Continuing to stare at you intently, as if he could see straight through you. " Are you unhappy here?"

Translation: My sweet troubled child.

" Because if you are unhappy, and not completely satisfied with the way that things are here? You know there are ways, for me to put you out of your misery and discomfort, Indefinidamente."

Translation: Indefinitely.

A tremor of fear rushed throughout your entire body, once the realization of him threatening to kill you? Had settled inside of your crowded up brain, that was full of thoughts and many different scenarios. As you found yourself trying to imagine what he would do to you, and how he would do it? If you were to continue being the failure that Namora had cursed you to be.

" I am not unhappy, K'uk'ulkan." You responded to his question with a shaky tone, after standing and being silent for what felt like forever.

" Bey u, much sa'asik in." Translation: So please forgive me.

" Much sa'asik in tumen decepcionar, in Ajaw." It didn't take long for the warm feel of tears to come rolling down your face. As you fought to maintain eye contact with Namor, despite it being very intense. As he circled around your small body, as if he was a lion stalking his prey, preparing to pounce.

Translation: Please forgive me for disappointing you, my king.

" Shh, shh, it's alright." His hands came in contact with your skin, as he cradled the bottom part of your chin. Using the pads of his thumbs to dry your face free of the tears. That kept spewing down your face uncontrollably-nonstop, like a waterfall. Or a dam that had been broken and left unfixed.

But at a time like this? You couldn't keep your emotions in tact and prevent your evident occurring sadness from showing, like you'd normally do? Whenever you'd failed at completing a special task that Namor requested. After he'd given you a warning not to screw up or disappoint him. 

Which for some odd reason you blamed the God's and Namora for? Seeing that whenever you attempted to try and redeem yourself for all the fuck ups and mistakes you'd make, while trying to be as great and respected as your dear loving and kind big sister? That you always ended up failing.

And digging yourself into an even bigger hole, that not even Namora couldn't save you from, after you had messed up and displeased the king. " Y/N?" Namor called out to you once more. Allowing you to be snapped out of the small trance you were in, as you continued to weep in front of him softly. Hoping that he'd forgive you for what felt like the hundred millionth time.

And spare your life, instead of putting you out of your misery. Despite your small disliking for your home and some of the people who lived here. Who'd make existing and trying to find your place and what was meant for you? So much harder than it already was. When you had an unsupportive and callous older sister. Who already did that regularly, as if she got some sort of satisfaction, out of making you feel like you were nothing more than an ungifted and worthless individual.

That would never amount to anything or ever be anything. Except for the person that you were right now. Which hurt a lot at times, if you were being completely honest? But over time you grew accustomed and numb to her vile words, and derogatory attitude that she'd show towards you.

And despite how deeply it made you want to put yourself out of your own misery, with the way that her and others had treated you? You refused to let her or anyone else who'd defied and depreciated you in the past, and even still now in the present? Push you to the point of no return.

" Y/N, I need you to take the initiative that I know you have? And that I've distilled inside of you? To be more like Namora. And try harder, way more harder than you do now? So you can be prepared and take charge, like everyone else. So when I call out to you in a time of need or if we're at war?"

" That you'll be ready to stand beside me, Attuma and your sister. And assist us in fighting for our people."

Hearing the word try come out of Namor's mouth, caused your tears to come to an abrupt stop. As you struggled to mask away your apparent frustration and anger, that was slowly beginning to settle over your features. Try, you thought to yourself.

He wants you to try, and be more like Namora? When you've given and lost almost all sense, as well as your peace of mind, trying to force yourself to be a person that the universe and God's above? Clearly didn't want you to be. Seeing that whenever you did attempt to follow up with Namor's commands, as a way to try and regain his trust and respect? That you failed.

Every single time.

No matter how hard you pushed yourself, to be more like your sister or Attuma? 

You've always failed nevertheless. But with a forced smile and eyes full of determination? You nodded and told him you would. Which made him release the hold he had on your face, and smile back at you warmly.

After detaching his lips from the top of your forehead. " In wa'alike' u meent nukuch ba'alo'ob, waal mía." He stepped away from you, inching back near the entrance of his cave.

Translation: I believe you will do great things, my child.

" Kux betpajal ichil le ba'ax yaan Máax ku ya'alik yóok'ol a Buka'aj u ba'al tu beel nojoch? Chúuns tu intentndo yéetel Ma'atech a desanimes, tuméen kolnáalen le k'áate' u páajtal juzgar máak waye'."

Translation: And despite what anyone says about your capability of being great? Keep trying and never get discouraged, for I am the only being allowed to judge anyone here."

" Yes, K'uk'ulkan." Kneeling a second time, you repeated the hand gesture from earlier. Bowing your head down slightly before him, as he did the same. Before disappearing back into the entrance of his cave, where he probably was finishing up a wall mural or painting a new one, as he normally would.

But as quickly as the assumption came? It had faltered away much faster. When the special guest, who you're assuming was the one of royalty, from the surface world. That had the entire Talokan city, as well as the people murmuring and gossiping about? Came walking out of the entrance way of the cave, shortly after Namor had entered back inside of it.

As she was followed behind closely by the guards, who shot you a look of distaste, that clearly meant get lost. And not to watch where they were going, which of course? You ignored and instead went with your instincts, that always led you to get into trouble at times.

But how could you not? After being blessed by the sight of an actual being from the surface. Who was cloaked and wearing a white gown, which you recognized from seeing earlier. When Namora had came into your quarters, and stated that Namor had wanted to see you. After you failed to complete your mission he'd sent you out on.

When a U.S ship had came and tried to steal away vibranium, that was detected outside of the Talokan city walls. And had it not been for Namora coming to save you in time, after a bullet had wounded your side? While you were attempting to fight off one of the U.S agents, who had caught you off guard and snuck up behind you? When you were attempting to fight off another one?

Then maybe you wouldn't have been alive. And of course? Namora wasn't going to let you live without knowing that she'd been the one to save your life. But her doing that and holding it over your head? Was already something you expected she'd do. And despite how annoying it was that she felt the need to bring it up, whenever the two of you talked since the situation occurred?

Apart of you felt grateful to her nonetheless, that she had saved your life. Instead of leaving you to die, like you assumed she would? With how mean and unloving she always acts towards you.

The walk down the hall of the cave was quiet and a bit nerve wracking. As you crept slowly and stealthily, trying your hardest not to look too suspicious if you were caught. Or seen by anyone who'd realize you were somewhere you weren't supposed to be during the moment.

As you approached one of the cells, that had a guard on the outside. Who held onto a staff tightly, as she stood up straight. With her shoulders upright, facing her head forward. In the direction of the entrance, which had allowed you to catch a quick glimpse of the well familiar slightly curled hair, from the female you had seen earlier.

Along with the shaved sides she had, as well as the white gown that was embroidered with teal colored beads. That Namor had made specifically for her, as you watched her from the shadows in awe, from where you were currently standing, with your body slightly crouched as a way to hide yourself from being seen.

Which let you know right away that you were in the correct place.

Seeing how many guards were on patrol. And standing on the outside and inside, which also confirmed that she must've been from a line of great royalty. With how closely her and the other individual, who she was standing beside. And having what looked like an intense or secretive discussion? Were being watched.

" Ba'ax juntéen! Ba'ax ka beetik husmeando ti' le nu'ukulil le áaktuno'? Xeen tu xíik, Wa informaré k'uj. uk' ulkan." One of the guards who stood outside the entrance shouted at you, with her hand pointed in your direction.

Translation: Hey! What are you doing snooping around this part of the cave? Leave at once, or I'll report to K'uk'ulkan.

" I-i was sent down here by my sister, Namora." You spit out quickly, with your hands raised in the air in surrender.

" Yaanten permiso utia'al u yaantal waye'." Taking small steps forward you inched closer towards the guard.

Keeping your eyes locked on hers, as a way to show that you were being honest. Despite the fact that in actuality? You weren't. But of course she'd never know that. And you prayed to the God's up above? That she'd never find out either, once she stepped aside and granted you full access to enter inside of the cell.

Translation: I have permission to be here.

That honestly in your opinion? Wasn't really like one. Nor did it give off an imprisonment vibe, with how the other guards that were located inside? Were offering fruit to both the Princess and the smaller female beside her. While being kind and doing small gestures that you would have never expected them to do, being that they were supposed to be prisoners after all.

But due to the Princess's status of royalty? You assumed that Namor had ordered the guards to treat them both with kindness. And not to bring any harm unto either one of them. Which still felt quite odd and unusual? Especially for him to do? With all the rumors you'd heard about the person standing to the left of the Princess.

Who'd apparently created the machine, that had detected the vibranium, that was located outside the Talokan city walls. " Oh shit, behind you!" The smaller girl shouted frantically.

Alerting the Princess of your presence, as you approached the both of them slowly. With wide eyes full of curiosity and astonishment. And a bit of amusement, as well? At the sight of how afraid the girl who shouted had looked, once you made your way directly in front of both of them.

With a blank expression settled over your features, and crossed arms. That soon unfolded and went down by your sides. As you extended out your right arm, with your hand held out.

" Hi." You said slowly, gazing upwards at the Princess. " I'm, Y/N."

" And you must be the scientist, who created the machine that detected our vibranium?" You turned your head in her direction next, feeling a small smile tug at the corners of your lips. At the sight of how much more afraid she looked now? Than she did just a moment ago. When you were beginning to approach them, after entering inside the cell.

" I made that machine for class man, and I had no idea that the U.S were going to use it to detect vibranium." She held her hands up in surrender, stepping behind the Princess shortly after making that statement.

" I-it was just a class project–"

" And I didn't mean to upset anybody." Continuing to blabber on about her innocence and not knowing that the machine she built, was to detect vibranium? You found yourself letting out a light chuckle at how frantic she'd gotten.

Before extending your hand out to the both of them once more. " I'm not angry." You told her, speaking in a light voice.

" Namor might be angry? But I'm not angry at you."

" And I'm sorry that you're in this situation. Because it's fairly obvious that you're innocent and knew nothing about the machine, being used by the U.S? But I'm not here to bring any harm unto either of you."

" Then why are you here?" The princess muttered out questioningly, raising her eyebrows at you in suspicion.

" To meet and greet you properly." You answered quickly, halting in your footsteps when she stepped back away from you, when she had felt that you were getting far too close.

" Meet me?" She let out a chuckle next, tilting her head towards the side.

" Yes." You nodded your head up and down, continuing to keep your eyes locked with hers.

" I've never met anyone from the surface world before, well? I have actually. But it was a U.S soldier who almost killed me. So, I guess that doesn't really count as actually meeting one and greeting them properly? Like how I'm trying to greet the two of you."

" But if my presence is making the two of you uncomfortable? I can leave." Turning on your heels, you let out a deep sigh. Feeling foolish all of a sudden for coming down here, and thinking that the two of them would be delighted to see you?

When you were nothing but a stranger, who lived in a place that neither of them would be able to survive in. With a completely different appearance than they had as well, but even still? You had hoped that they'd be a bit more welcoming.

Seeing how they weren't so uptight, with the guards who were currently still inside, before you approached them. " No..wait." You paused immediately upon hearing that, with your backside still facing the two of them.

" I am, Princess Shuri. Of Wakanda." She spoke aloud. " Daughter of Queen Ramonda, and King T'Chaka."

" It's a pleasure to meet you, your highness." You turned back around facing her, proceeding to bow and greet her properly, like you were taught to do by Namor. When being in front of the presence of royalty.

" And it's also a pleasure to meet you too." You glanced over at the scientist next, hoping that she'd tell you her name. And quit being so afraid as if you'd hurt her? When in reality? All that you wanted to do was get to know them.

And possibly learn more about their life on the surface world? Before Namor decided to do whatever it was that he'd do with them. " I'm, Riri." She finally revealed her name, after a long awkward moment of silence.

" Riri Williams."

" Nice to meet you, Miss.Williams." Another smile settled over your face, as you clasped your hands together nervously, and averted your focus back towards the Princess. Who was already eyeing you intently, as if she was in deep thought about something.

" So.." You trailed off, taking a seat against the floor. " What's Wakanda like?"

" Because I've heard Namor mention, that the air there? Is pristine. And how the water is nothing compared to the water, here in our ocean."

" It's beautiful." The princess spoke quietly, smiling a bit to herself. At the thought of her homeland and the people who lived there. " Beautiful and peaceful."

" But your home here in Talokan? Is quite beautiful too." Her gaze returned to your face, when a small, cheerful laugh–had erupted from the back part of your throat. Which puzzled her and Riri for a moment? As they wondered what is was, that you found so funny.

When Talokan, was just as beautiful and full of joyful individuals? Like Wakanda.

" Have I said something that's amused you?" Shuri questioned, with confusion settled across her features. " No, and yes." You answered, taking this time to pick with the bottom part of your mouth mask, that had covered up your mouth and nose.

With water being on the inside, that allowed you to breathe properly. 

" You don't think that Talokan is beautiful?" There was a hint of amusement and disbelief in Shuri's tone. As she watched you closely, looking as if she were trying to read you. And figure out why you had given the response you did.

" I do." You nodded. " But some of the people here? Aren't quite as joyous and kind as you think." Mumbling the last part of your words so lowly, that both the Princess and scientists had glanced at one another afterwards. As a way to see if either of them had heard what you said.

Made you laugh for what felt like the thousandth time, as you rose to your feet again slowly. And smiled cheekily at the both of them, before repeating yourself. Once you saw how stressed they both had looked, while trying to decipher what you had muttered out moments ago.

" I love being from Talokan, and living underwater. With the fish and whales, and all other beings that exists here. But..sometimes? It gets a bit overwhelming. Trying to exist inside a place, where you'll never be able to fit in or be accepted? Regardless of how much you try to make other's, see you as an equal."

Opening up about your troubles to strangers? Had never been something you'd think you'd ever do. With how much other Talokanil people your age? Had judged you off the mistakes you've made. While trying to be as great as Namora, who never had to try too hard, to be respected or treated fairly.

Unlike you, on the other hand? Who went through hell and back, just to have someone smile at you. Or acknowledge your existence, on the days that you walked alongside of your sister, with eyes full of hope and admiration? That you could be as gifted as she was some day.

And be the one that Namor called out to, for help and to be a listening ear. But of course? You knew that those dreams of being as great as Namora, Attuma, or any other guard here? Would never be an actual reality.

Because you were ungifted. And far too incompetent, to be as great as any of them were.

" I know how that feels." Riri glanced up at you, with eyes full of sincerity. " To want to be accepted and fit in with others? To the point that you work yourself to death and jump over mountains, just to please them? When all they'll do is reject you and laugh in the end."

" But you wanna know what helped me get through that?"

" Yes, please." You nodded eagerly, with eyes full of desperation.

" I said fuck them, and chose to do what it was that I wanted. Because I realized that being like others? Was lame as hell and unoriginal. When I could just be in my own lane. While doing something that made me genuinely happy? Instead of forcing myself to be someone? I knew that I wasn't."

Her words of advice were kind, as she flashed you a warm smile. Before placing her hand atop your shoulder hesitantly. Causing fresh tears to rush to the brim of your eyelids. As you threw your arms around her tightly. Which had caught both her and the Princess completely off guard.

But she returned the gesture despite that, making your heart pump with happiness. For what felt like the first time in forever. Being that for once in such a long time? You had been seen and understood for who you were, without having to do anything to show them that you were worthy of receiving their kindness and respect.

" Thank you." You sniffled, stepping back from the hug after a while. With your hands wiping away at the tears, that were falling continuously down your cheeks. 

" So, so much."

" No problem." She patted your shoulder once more, offering you the sleeve of the robe she wore, to clean your face. Causing you to smile and shake your head, declining. Before you shifted your focus back towards the Princess.

Feeling your stomach go into knots, when the corners of her lips curved upwards. And she smiled at you. Allowing her perfect, pearly white teeth to be seen. And the sharpness of her jaw to pop out, and catch your attention. Sending you shying away from her gaze and inching near the exit of the cave, so you could leave.

And be gone, before Namora or even worse? Namor showed up unexpectedly.

" It was a pleasure meeting the two of you." Turning around a final time, to face them and wave goodbye. You couldn't help but avert your gaze back to Shuri. Who had already been watching you as you were proceeding to leave.

With an unreadable look in her eyes, that had left you wondering what she might've been thinking about? But you figured that there was a possibility she could be homesick? Since she had been taken and brought into a place, full of people and things, that she wasn't so familiar with.

" Same to you, entle." Shuri was the first to speak back, a surge of confidence and amusement filling her body. As she watched your brows knit together in confusion, while you tried to figure out what it was, that she had said to you meant.

Translation: Beautiful.

" And perhaps maybe one day, if you're allowed and granted access to leave? Then you can come to Wakanda and visit. So I can show you just how beautiful and pristine, the air is there."

Nodding on that note, you said a quick 'yes', with a voice full of excitement. Hoping and praying to the God's, that Namor would allow you to visit her? And experience being in another place, that was far more different and clearly advanced than here? Seeing how the black beads on the bracelet, that was wrapped around the Princess's wrist? Began to glow a light blue color.

Which you're assuming she hadn't noticed? With how closely she was eyeing you while smiling uncontrollably, with a smile so infectious and warm? That you found yourself returning the expression. And soon your cheeks began to grow sore, with how widely you had spread your lips, to mirror her exact grin.

" The two of you, might as well go ahead and fuck each other. Instead of doing the shit with your eyes." Riri let out an exasperated sigh, plopping down to take a seat against the cot that was behind her.

Fuck? You thought to yourself with a frown. Growing confused at what the smaller girl had meant. As you wondered why the Princess had began shooting her a glare, with a face full of what looked like embarrassment?

" Please excuse Miss.Williams, vulgar language." Shuri turned back around to face you, speaking in an apologetic tone. " She has a tendency of being very..blunt? And talking without thinking about what comes out of her mouth."

" If I'm being honest? I have no idea what she said even means, but I have to get going now. And I hope to see the two of you again soon? If Namor grants me access to leave, that is. Oh, and Riri?"

Your eyes glanced over your shoulder, watching as she sat up from her slouched position and raised an eyebrow questioningly. " I hope Namor forgives you, and allows you to go home."

" I hope he allows the both of you, to be reunited with your families. Because the two of you are far too kind, to be held here? When neither of you have done anything wrong."

And with that, you walked away. After waving goodbye a final time. Feeling much more lighter and happy? After being in their presence and experiencing their kindhearted energy. Which was something you were going to miss, very much.

Had Namor decided to get rid of them, like he'd been telling Namora he would do? If the Princess hadn't complied with whatever wishes he had. For Riri, the scientist.

You're awoken out of your slumber, by a rough hand being pushed against your shoulder. Which causes your body to shoot up, and your eyes to open on automatic. As you rubbed your hands against them lightly, trying to get used to the bright lighting that was now on in your quarters. Causing you to squint slightly, and rise your body upwards from it's curled position.

When you made out Namora and Namor's faces, being not too far away from your bed. As looks of anger and dissatisfaction? Were evident in their intense gaze upon you.

" Jump'éel guardia kíinsa'abij le áak'aba' tuméen juntúul intruso." Namora approached the side of your bed, urging you to stand. Without caring about how rough she was handling you. As you struggled to catch your balance, after she'd shoved you onto your knees. Allowing you to be directly in front of Namor.

Translation: A guard was killed this evening by an intruder.

Who had stooped down to meet your level, as he cupped your chin tightly. And gave it a light squeeze, making you squeeze your eyes shut in fear of what he'd do to you? After he opened his mouth and spoke the next words.

" Ba'ax seguramente k'a'abéet a yaantal jump'éel extraña inclinación? Ka lela' p'u'ujul, in waal."

 Translation: You surely must have a strange penchant? When it comes to upsetting me, my child."

" And before you deny being anywhere near the caves where the cells are, this evening? It has already been told to me? That you were there. So please, Y/N? Make this easy for all of us. And most importantly? Yourself. And tell me exactly why, you were seen conversing with the Princess and the scientist? In the first place."

Each of his words hit you like a bullet, with how harshly he was speaking. All while keeping a neutral like facial expression present, which honestly? Had to be one of the things that you feared about him the most. The way he could be threatening your life? And not look angry or frustrated.

Unlike Namora? Who allowed all of her rage she felt right now? To be showcased off. So you'd be able to know that she was pissed at you, and of course? Disappointed–as always.

" In ajawo', Sa'asik in, Béet." You pleaded, turning your head away in discomfort, when his grip on your chin had tightened.

" I was only curious and I wanted to meet them." You added.

Translation: My king, please forgive me.

" I knew nothing about the Wakandan's plan, to come and retrieve them. In ts'aiktech in jach t'aan, I knew nothing about it!"

Translation: I swear to you.

" I see." Namor finally spoke, as he released the grip he had on your chin. Which made you collapse backwards and fall against the cool floor. As you scooted away from him near your bedside. With hot tears rolling down your cheeks, and ragged, labored breathing. 

" And the air in Wakanda? Was very pristine." Pausing in his footsteps, he snapped his finger loudly. Making Namora rush towards his side, eager to comply with whatever task, he was proceeding to ask of her.

" Beetik a querida kiik utia'al sáamal." Namor's eyes peered down at you from the side, as you continued to cry uncontrollably. Cradling the bottom part of your chin, as your heart rate began to accelerate, upon hearing his words.

Translation: Prepare your loving sister for tomorrow.

The demanding request left both you and Namora, staring up at him in confusion. While he on the other hand, kept his same neutral like expression present. Pointing over at you as he eyed Namora closely, and waited for her to come to your side like he'd requested.

" Beetik u ba'ax, in Ajaw?" The confusion in Namora's voice was evident, as she approached your side slowly. Despite the fact that you could tell, she wanted nothing but to grab you up by the chin herself? And scold you for being so foolish and careless, as if you sneaking down to the caves, to talk to the prisoners? Wouldn't have been discovered.

Translation: Prepare her for what, my king?

" Y/N, mentioned her distaste for living in Talokan to the Princess." Namor announced what you had mentioned to Shuri and Riri aloud, the statement making Namora crane her neck. And snap her head down in your direction, which allowed you to almost feel how much her anger was beginning to radiate from off of her body.

" I-i never said I hated it? I-i just said th–"

" Chan tonta, Bix a atreves t'aan k'aas u k wotoch!" Namora raised her voice, as she gripped the bottom of your chin, forcing you to face her. Without caring about the fact that the gesture was starting to hurt you.

Translation: You foolish little girl, how dare you speak badly of our home!

" Teech jump'éel su'utalil!" Her shouting continued, and her choice of words had caused your chest to ache. As you widened your eyes and stilled your breathing. At the sound of a choked out sob erupting from your mouth, following light sniffing.

Translation: You are a disgrace!

" N-namora, please." Seeing your sister this angry with you? Was a sight you hadn't witnessed in a while. But just hearing her say that you were a disgrace? While looking at you as if she was ashamed to even be related to you? Had caused what little bit of hope you had of the two of you rekindling your bond? Shatter into millions of pieces, like broken glass from a mirror that had been cracked.

" Enough!" Finally speaking again, after allowing Namora to tear you apart with her words? Namor had motioned her back beside him, causing her to let go of your chin, all while adding a bit of force as she did so. Which made your head fly back and bump into the edge of your bed, leaving a throbbing sensation present on the left side of your head.

" Y/N?" 

" Y-yes, K'uk'ulkan?" You stammered out nervously, rising up to your feet with your chest puffed out. As you awaited for him to say what he wanted from you. " Come." He curved his index finger, beckoning for you to walk towards him.

And you did so slowly, with your hands clasped together tightly, as they shook and began sweating a bit? After you finally made your way in front of him, and his intense, intimidating eyes? Were now gazing down at you.

" Tomorrow? We will be going to Wakanda for revenge." He started off slowly, causing you to swallow hardly, and just nod. " And the Queen and scientist? Will be killed."

" Which will leave the Princess, with no choice but to be crowned Queen. And that will put us one step closer? To getting Wakanda to form an alliance with us, so we can go to war with the surface world."

" And I know what you're thinking, my child." A deep chuckle left his lips, as he began circling you like he'd done earlier. " You're thinking that the Princess won't comply?"

" And that she'll refuse my offer? Because the death of her sweet, loving Mother. Am I correct, Y/N?"

Shrugging your shoulders, you muttered out ' I'm not sure' incoherently. Feeling what little of a heart you had left? Break for Shuri. At the mention of Namor, admitting that he was preparing to murder her Mother on tomorrow, after they had just been reunited this evening.

" Ah, I see." His circling around you stopped abruptly, making you glance up at him with glossy eyes and raised brows. While Namora stood off towards the side, continuing to stare at you with nothing but disgust and disappointment, and if you weren't mistaken?

A look of hate.

" I can sense your pity for the Princess, Y/N. And I know that this is a lot of information to take in? And that you're probably angry with me, for preparing our soldiers to tear down the home, in which your new found friend lives? But I warned her Mother, before their people came and killed one of ours."

" So whatever pity or sadness you feel for them? Lose it!" Flinching from his tone as he shouted at you? You dropped your head in shame, struggling to keep back your sobs when he opened his mouth and spoke his last words, before proceeding to leave from out of your quarters.

" People from the surface world? Only care about themselves, Y/N. And as pure hearted as you are? I apologize in advance for what I'm about to request of you. But just know? That you refusing my command? Will leave me with no choice but to kill you."

There it was again, you thought to yourself. As you reflected on how your body had felt? When he had threatened to kill you earlier today, with no hint of remorse in his tone as he did it. And as you looked over at Namora, she didn't seem the slightest bit phased about Namor's threat to end your life either.

And that there? Had stung, and before you knew it? You were crumbling right in front of both of them. Not caring about how weak you may have looked, as you wept uncontrollably. With loud, painful, sobs escaping from out your mouth.

" Tomorrow when we go to Wakanda? You will be accompanying us. And when we get there? Your job is to find the Princess, and convince her to accept my offer to form an alliance with our people. So that Wakanda and us Talokanils, can go to war with the surface world together."

" And I'm also aware, that after I kill her Mother and the scientist? That she will not be too elated to have you in her presence. And maybe? She'll have you thrown into a cell where you'll be held as a prisoner? But despite that possibility? Your job is to convince her to join me."

" Ka wa leti' u niega?" You choked on your words, staring up at him with anger. That you weren't afraid to mask away, like you'd normally do. When he had taken it upon himself to make you feel in the exact same way, that Namora would make you feel.

Which was worthless. And like your feelings about things? Didn't matter.

Translation: And if she refuses?

" Then you sing to her, and you make her agree." He stated sternly, referring to your siren abilities, that helped you perform hypnosis. And place someone under a trance, that would beckon them to you, and allow you to be in complete control of them.

" Do I make myself clear?" Inching near the exit of your room, he paused in his footsteps. Refusing to leave, to go and alert the soldiers of their task for tomorrow. Until you spoke up and answered him.

" Yes, K'uk'ulkan." You said quietly, drying at your eyes with the palm of your hands.

" I understand."

Inching back towards your bed, when he remained silent. And continued to stand in your doorway, you shot Namora a look of hurt. Hoping that she'd feel guilty for not having your back, in the way that you tried to have hers–despite your lack to be as dexterous as she was?

But you knew that deep down? She didn't care. And that she'd rather watch you fail and be punished, than to assist you in being better at the things you weren't as good at.

" Oh, and Y/N?" Namor said your name lowly, as he was halfway out of your quarters.

" Yes, K'uk'ulkan?"

" You mentioned that you wished to be granted access to visit Wakanda? So despite your mission? I hope you take the initiative to enjoy your time away from Talokan. Because after one week time has passes, and I return ready to conquer the surface world? You'll never be able to leave these waters again."

" So enjoy your stay, In ch'ujuk ch'úupalo' yéetel talamilo'ob." He laughed menacingly, turning around to face you fully with a look of amusement present.

Translation: My sweet troubled child.

" And please do not fail to disappoint me, Y/N. Because if you do? Then you'll leave me with no choice, but to put you out of your misery. Like you've so desperately been wanting for the past year."

[tidalskii]

It was announced yesterday that LittleBigPlanet 3’s game servers would be closing indefinitely, putting an end to the remaining online support the original LBP trilogy still had. I’ve managed to collect my thoughts and pay my tributes to the series before I part ways with it.

This game series means the world to me, and I am extremely proud and honored to have been apart of it’s community. I started playing the games in 2010 with the demo for LittleBigPlanet on PS3 and… I wasn’t impressed. I got stuck before I even played the game! I had a second controller turned on somewhere so 6 y/o me was presented with the “Select Profile” screen.

Having no clue why none of the buttons on my controller were working, I think I just turned it off and didn’t play it for months. Idk what got me to play it again, but I’m glad I did because I fell in LOVE with the game. Everything about how it controlled just… clicked with me. I thought it was genius, the sheer amount of expressiveness you could display; tilting the controller to move your head or your hips, using the D-Pad to change your facial expression, moving each individual arm with both sticks and the limb buttons on the back, it was all so intuitive and fun to do. Although, once me and my cousin learned how to slap each other in-game, it was over for my parents’ ears lol, we’d be screaming and yelling at each other. Sure enough that Christmas, I got the full game, specifically the special kind with some of the DLC pre-installed. That’s where the REAL fun began. Nearly every night after school I’d bring a couple of friends over and we’d try to play through as many levels as we could in one-sitting. The Metal Gear Solid DLC levels I often died immediately in and I would wait for an older kid I knew to get to a checkpoint and revive me. Regardless of how bad I was at the game, it was so much fun, especially now that we were able to experience the create mode. My mom actually started playing it, too. I don’t have any pictures of it sadly but she made a really expansive house with separate rooms and secret passages everywhere, it was really cool. I’d say I spent a good year or so playing the first game, then Christmas 2011 arrived. That’s when I got LittleBigPlanet 2.

LBP2 is my favorite video game of all time, it does what every good sequel should do: expand on what made the first game so amazing without straying too far away from its core appeal. For starters, if you already owned LBP the game will ask you right off the bat if you wish to import all of your collected items, costumes, and levels into LBP2. This absolutely BLEW MY MIND and in a weird way it kind of made playing the first game obsolete. You mean to tell me EVERYTHING I’ve ever made is already here, I can just… continue working on it?! I can still rock the same costumes I had, I can play music from the FIRST game in the SECOND game?!?! That alone made LBP2 so much of a gem in my eyes, it was LITERALLY the first game and MORE. But the fun didn’t end there! It was around this time I got a PSN account, so I was able to experience everyone else’s creations online and… wow. A whole new world just opened up, a whole community to engage and interact with. I met so many amazing people, some of whom are my closest friends to this day, over a decade later. It was through a group of some older kids that I often tagged along with that started getting into anime and comics more. 2011-2014 was a magical time to be on LBP, those years really felt like “The Golden Years” of the online community. Oh yeah and LBP Karting and the portable games existed too, I guess. I played LBPK, I thought it was fun… I still own it, but I’ve barely touched it after all these years. From what I’ve heard PSP and Vita seemed like a lot of fun, I’ve just never played them. Around early-mid 2014, it was announced that there would be a third LBP game for both the PS3 and the newly-released PS4. New characters, 16-LAYERS in create-mode (!!!), and a weird purple lightbulb as the new main-antagonist of the story mode… “Newton”. I remember being so excited for it to release. We were FINALLY getting a THIRD LittleBigPlanet, for a new console, too! We sure did, alright.

To this day, I’m still not sure how to feel about LittleBigPlanet 3, and it feels like the greater community more or less can’t ether. This game… SHOULD be better than the 2nd game, and you know what? Catch me on a good day and I might say that I prefer LBP3 to LBP2. Everything’s there, a new story, cross-compatibility with LBP and LBP2, a fleshed-out create mode, all of it’s there and what we have in the game is phenomenal, however there’s one big, glaring issue that distracts it from being superior to its predecessors… this game is BROKEN. I know people like to throw out that term a lot with somewhat buggy games but oh my god, LBP3 is DANGEROUSLY glitchy and exploitative. By this point, Media Molecule had moved on from the LBP series to continue developing new games, leaving Sumo Digital to oversee LBP3’s development. I feel so bad for Sumo Digital because it’s painfully obvious Sony rushed their time to complete the game for a holiday 2014 release date… and the quality of the final game reflects the time-crunch they must’ve gone through. Joining friends can take you up to a half-hour if you’re unlucky, it’s a gamble if the game will even function properly. Often you’ll be sent back to your pod after the game rapid-fires it’s loading screen (btw serious warning for anyone with epilepsy: DON’T play LittleBigPlanet 3, it does stuff like this all the time), but when the screen fades in, Sackboy doesn’t respawn, soft-locking the game. Fun! I’m not sure if anyone else suffered from this one specific, GAME-BREAKING bug as I’ve never seen anyone else talk about it, but around 2015 or so my game’s gravity just… freaked out, regardless if you were in hover-mode or not, Sackboy would float off to the left of the screen and phase through all of the walls. I tried restarting the game, cleaning off the physical disc the sink, but nothing would fix it, I literally had to reset my game progress. Very fun! Another weird thing I ran into is the inability to place down stickers with the PS Eye Camera Tool. It just stopped working entirely at one point, even in previous games like LBP2. No idea how THAT happened, very strange bug. Despite all this… I powered through, because truthfully I do think the content in LBP3 is superior to the previous games. The music is great, I found myself genuinely invested in the story and it’s characters, the DLC packs introduced in LBP3 were all very fun, and the create mode is a GODSEND compared to the first 2 games. Honestly, that’s one of the 2 reasons why I chose to stick around with LBP3, there is SO MUCH you can do with the tools it provides you. For those of you who don’t know, for the last couple years or so I’ve been building full working models of the Thomas the Tank Engine characters in LBP3, and that’s led to me gaining a humble but amazingly awesome following in the game. I love Thomas, I love LBP, I just wanted to put those two interests together and I’m very happy people seemed to have liked what I made, which is very wholesome and sweet.

I am devastated that the game’s online services are now gone for good, but it was kind of inevitable. LBP3’s lack of quality opened the door for a lot of nasty exploitation and modifications people made to their games. The servers were hacked in 2021, and that led to the termination of the PS3’s servers. It wasn’t hard to deduce that PS4’s servers were running on borrowed-time. Regardless of how unfortunate it’s closure was, this franchise was supported for 16 years. That’s not a bad run at all. I would say I’m surprised it wasn’t closed sooner, but then again… I’m not surprised. The LittleBigPlanet community is so amazing and passionate over these games. When the 2021 server attacks happened we all rallied together online to keep it alive, if just for a little bit longer. Even at its very end, a lot of us had so much more creativity to share with the world. To all those out there listening, I hope you’re able to channel that creativity outlet even further beyond in the future, whenever and wherever that may be. As for me, I’m going to attempt to learn “Dreams”, Media Molecule’s spiritual successor to the LBP games, released on PS4/PS5. From what I’ve seen and played of that game, it scratches that itch LBP left on me. It’s so good.

Rest easy, Sackboy. Thank you for some of the best experiences I could have asked for in a video game. Here’s hoping for a LBP4 one day, old friend. 🌎

[peppermint-moss]

13, 19, 22, 25, 32! :)

13. talk about a wip you like! wink wonk needletail amv!!!!!!!!! I'm determined to get him done by end of summer before uni starts again AUGH its gonna happen im gonna do it i SWEAR here's some thoughts

I was like 'why is this video taking so long' n then realized most of my amvs are 3 min tops and this one is 5 MINUTES WITH BACKGROUNDS like yea bud its gonna take a while afjskdlhg

I'm trying da vinci resolve again and with a new faster computer it's actually been going alright!! I hate. the gaussian blur it's doing weird things but I don't want to figure out how to use fusion to workaround it and it's not a huge issue so... just gonna leave it be

i hatee backgrounds and they're just kind of. im doing them out of necessity and shortcutting the hell out of them lol dont look at the backgrounds too closely when the video comes out LMAO

video itself is going good!! there's a lotta scenes im v excited to see come into its final stage and im v excited C: !!! sneak peak be upon ye!!

19. where do you find inspiration? I have an 'art ref' tag on my main blog that I usually just kind of scroll through so its mostly a collection of art/photos/colours etc i find on tumblr c:

22. do you have a favorite color palette to work with? I love warmer toned like soft brown-tinted pieces but I've never actually drawn with that i don't think.. Cooler tones I think are trickier for me (I keep ending up with pink in there but I don't think I should be??? idk lol) but i Looove when I can add a pop of like cold piercing cyan to a warm piece hehe

25. what size canvas/paper do you use? I used to draw somewhere in the 3000x2000 px range, BUT my friends were like thats so small!! and they draw on like 5000x5000 px which sounded WILD to me but I gave 5000px a shot and WOW i do like it... i can get more detail in with my lil brush.. yea so I'm transitioning over to using bigger canvases now lol

32. have you done a lot of collabs? No not besides the occasional map part (which I only really stick to doing just my part anyways!) I prefer to work individually waay more which is like a strength and a weakness cause I don't think I'm very receptive to collaborative work lol (i have less patience for it and am less likely to voice my thoughts orz.. I'd like to be better at collaboration but because its smth I avoid my brain's like well no need to improve that then afjdsklgh) BUT im p baller at getting things done on my own

Something i DID do a while back is the art collab meme with some friends which I actually really loved how they all turned out!! C: (Jo is me btw lol) (idk if there's an originator for this meme ? closest i could find was this but lemme know if there's someone else to credit)

ask game questions here

[caliburn-the-sword]

tlc fairest thoughts

this is all gonna be one post because if i put every "levana wtf" moment i had. i would end up just posting the ENTIRE book. ngl will probably tag this as anti?? because i don't have very much that is nice to say unlike the other books. respectfully, do not press keep reading if you're gonna be upset about how i feel about fairest because i don't want you to have a bad internet experience and i don't want ME to have a bad internet experience. thanks <3

am i really going to be forced to go through a whole second-hand-embarrassment-fest as an explanation for levana's backstory

sorry the writing style is giving the cruel prince. and i am very much not a fan of that book

wait i'm really confused. levana was 15 yet is now celebrating her 17th?? did the mourning period last an entire year or???

levana is just as delulu as cress when it comes to love, but she doesn't have the excuse of being locked up for like a decade in isolation. what's her excuse lol

respect for evret for being the ONLY grown man in this goddamn series that doesn't go after minors

AND NOW LEVANA IS 16 AGAIN. looks like someone in publishing didn't notice the continuity error lmao

idk if it's because i'm tired but WHY does channary not want anyone to know the father of the baby?? and also aren't there dna tests for that which make it redundant anyway??? tho i guess if she's fucking THAT many men then she wouldn't even know where to start with testing even if she did want to

i'm sorry but there's something HILARIOUS about levana hating all these women having babies. knowing that the babies are gonna grow up to kick her ass off the lunar throne

is the queen being glamoured????? it's hard to say because she was ALREADY such a disturbed individual that it's hard to say whether this new shit is her own thoughts or someone else's

TF LEVANA WAS SET ON FIRE BY HER SISTER?????

ahhh. part of me wonders if channary glamouring her sister during early developmental stages is what made levana so fucked up to begin with

the description of how hair catches fire is entirely accurate

god. i feel so bad for evret. his entire life was ruined and then he was killed before he could ever see his daughter grow up

ngl levana didn't seem to be very proactive in HER OWN story?? it's just a bunch of things happening to her or falling into her lap CONSTANTLY. other than her glamouring evret and trying to kill cinder, she never actually DOES anything. it felt like the author had a checklist of things like "okay these all canonically happen before the events of cinder so i'm gonna tick all these off quickly". idk. didn't love it. i'm glad that at least she didn't go to any effort to redeem levana, but istg levana literally had the moral consistency of literal water. one minute she's like "time to toss this baby off a balcony" and then "boohoo i didn't realise that killing someone would ACTUALLY kill them" like girl what???? that's not to say that i WANT her to be good and whatever, in fact i mean the opposite. just let her be an evil bitch. stop with the totally random, OUT OF PLACE bouts of empathy that happen for literally no reason. pulled me out of the plot so hard every time it happened. maybe it's because of my negative feelings but it just felt very anticlimactic?? i'm just sitting here like "okay so what??"

managed to get through the slogfest but i can already feel myself slipping into a reading slump. yesterday i wanted to read winter SO bad but now i feel like i need time to recover from that read. lesbians give me strength to persevere because i KNOW that i will LOVE winter

[nightcolorz]

Quick disclaimer: I mean no hate or ill will at all to any fanfic writers who’ve written this trope. You’re all very talented and u shouldn’t let my personal taste stop u from writing what u want to write. This is just me complaining for fun bcus I’m a brat and I care way to much about stupid internet stuff concerning my vampire blorbos. Also this isn’t directed towards any individual fanfic and/or fanfic author since I’ve seen lots of works that include this, and wouldn’t be able to name or remember any specific work even if I wanted to bcus I dislike this sm that I rarely stick around for long when this comes up in stuff I read. So plz don’t be like “oh this is about xyz isn’t it?” Bcus I guarantee u it is not

I’ve noticed this trope that’s become common enough to be annoying to me recently concerning Nicki. This isn’t a fanfic exclusive phenomenon, it’s also present as a general attitude among amc iwtv fans mostly which is a rant for another day. But basically what it boils down to is fanfic writers (pretty much always in AUs for reasons that will become obvious) characterizing/utilizing Nicki as the romantic rival for loustat and/or bitter ex who we should be rooting against bcus he’s interfering with the Ship. I really dislike this trope! As someone who’s a certified Nicolas de Lenfent fanboy it’s so disappointing whenever I come across a fanfic that includes Nicolas as a reoccurring character and he ends up being stripped of all his nuance and character traits and boiled down to unlikable romantic rival. It sucks! And it’s frustrating especially bcus theirs literally canonical loustat romantic rivals (Antoine/Antoinette for show fans bcus tbh this is a very amc exclusive occurrence) that could easily fulfill this role! And if that doesn’t suit your fancy we have love interests of Lestat that r generally disliked/unlikeable (at least imo) that could be used in a similar way (coughcoughDavidTalbotcoughcough). And u could make an argument that those characters just don’t have Nicki’s brand of drama and emotion and yes! I agree! That’s why I’m frustrated! Bcus I would eat up a fanfic that explored a love triangle or rivalry between Nicki, Louis, and Lestat where shit hit the fan over the unique conflict and drama that would unravel considering the characters and their dynamics + history, au-ified or otherwise, but I’ve never come across a fanfic like this! And trust me, I read a lot of fanfic. It’s just a little saddening for me tbh. I love Nicolas sm, I don’t like reading about him as the shitty ex bf and the shitty ex bf only, with little to no depth. The reason I’m complaining about this is bcus it’s reached the point where it’s clogging the Nicki character tag on a03 a bit, I keep finding fanfic with him in it and checking it out only to find him portrayed as a stock bitter ex character. And I honestly don’t know where this characterization even came from when it comes to the show fans? Bcus Nicolas has only ever been framed in the show as Lestat’s tragically and mysteriously dead first love, and it’s like, idk how u can hear about that and come to the conclusion that this guy would make sense as the romantic rival? Like poor Nicolas lol, he’s literally dead let him rest 😭. He doesn’t have any part in this ship drama 💀. And now I’m getting a lil off track and verging onto general Nicolas hate in the fandom and not just in fanfic, but whatever, I all ready decided I’m not touching that. But u know, as a side note, Nicolas in book canon was never once framed as someone who’s existence is a threat to loustat and the validity of their love, so u don’t need to make him about that! Louis and Lestat r immature messes who can’t function healthily ever but not to the point where Louis has beef with Lestat’s literally dead ex boyfriend 💀 c’mon now

also if I didn’t make it clear my beef isn’t with framing Nicki as a villain I love me a messy bitter bitch.My beef is with stripping him of all that makes him interesting for the sake of having a generic romantic rival in ur fic. Not a fan of that. However I am all for messy bitter bitch Nicki. Idk this phenomenon just comes off as weird and kind of upsetting to me. It’s kind of like if the John Wick fandom had a trend where ppls self insert ocs or y/n characters had drama with John Wick’s dead wife…it’d be uncomfortable. (I’m not in the John Wick fandom so idk if this is an actual thing lmao).

[saketoge]

bias tag game !

tagged by @lee-minhoe and @ambivartence 💕

rules: you're going to pick 10 of your biases (or as many biases as you have and then fill in the rest of the spots with idols you like) and number them 1-10, then answer the questions below. try not to look at the questions before you make your list!

tagging (if u want no pressure ofc!): @chanrizard @gnanii @snug-gyu @changbeens @jikyu @lunetual @minchanz @jinniebit @jwoongz

continued under the cut :)

bias list !

lee know (skz)

dk (svt)

jaehyuk (treasure)

taehwan (vanner)

mark lee (nct)

jinyoung (got7)

bang chan (skz)

soobin (txt)

donghyun (ab6ix)

mingyu (svt)

questions !

1. Between 7 and 5, who did you bias first?

mark was first; i got into nct in like late 2019 and i didn't find skz/chan until late 2021 i think?? mark is like , my second or third bias in nct though lol

2. Between 2 and 6, who are you more attached to?

deekay babieeeeee <333 don't get me wrong i LOVE jinyoung but seokmin ...... that's my number one dude, my boy of all time, if u will

3. If you were to spend the day with either 3 or 1, who would you choose and what would you do?

OMG LEE KNOW OR JAE 😭😭😭 i'm gonna give it to lee know tho (nobody's shocked). similar to mel's answer we could go on a lil stroll through the woods then stop for coffee after. we go back home and i'll watch him make lunch for us and then we binge watch spy x family for the rest of the day bc i still haven't finished it yet and he would not have that .

4. What is your favorite physical feature about 9?

donghyun my bestie my bee eff ?!?!! honestly probably his cheeks he has the most squishable lil face like look

are u kidding </3

5. What is your favorite part of 6's personality?

PARK JINYOUNG MY BELOVEDDDDD 😭 he is so passionate about what he does - singing, dancing, acting, he is putting in the work and it shows!! didn't think i could love him more and then i watched he is psychometric DUDE 🥺🥺 that's not even the one he won an award for but like dang bro he was good !!!! also i feel like he has a good balance of being silly goofy and like . being serious/chill/more reserved??? idk he's a virgo so he def takes himself seriously but like , not too much u know ??

not to rant but i love how he loves his members too . he is so kind like he really loves them and cares for them and wants them all to succeed, regardless of how often he says they're annoying (yugbam the problem children fcdjhdvjk) he's rly just the mom (yugyeom's specifically) of the group and it's very sweet <3

6. If you were to tell 8 anything you wanted, what would you tell them?

soobin!!! i would tell him he's doing a great job being the leader to his hooligans and that i get "bye guys!! hi ladies!!! mwah!" stuck in my head at least once a week 🖤

7. Between 1 and 2, whose closet would you raid?

between lino and dk hm ... i think they're both pretty similar (casual, comfy, boyfriend-y) but if i had to choose i'd say dokyeom. he seems just a little bit more adventurous in his style i feel like he likes a good pattern

8. What is a style that you want to see 3 try?

hm for jae and also for the rest of the group i think something in the vein of seventeen's home;run era could be fun .. all the funky colors and retro-y fits ! 🤔🔮 i'm seeing jae with dark hair and a patterned collared sweater .. and pearls ofc 🔮

9. Between 5 and 4, who are you closer to in height?

i think mark and taehwan are the same height (5'9"/175cm) so neither ! hfdkvfjfd

10. Between 10 and 9, whose music do you like the best?

individually, i'm sorry gyu i'm gonna give it to donghyun i looove his vocals ! venus ??? so smooth so ethereal 🍯 in terms of their groups though, i love my yeppis but it's gotta be seventeen for me dawg they're like all time for me we're rly in this carat shit for life 💎 i can't find the words to explain how much i love them and their music literally the only thing coming to mind rn is when dk said "it's love, of course" and like !!!! yeah !!! ykwim !?!!

[katebishopofearth]

20 questions for 20 writers

tagged by @wheelsup-sevenup

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 69 (nice 😏)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 317,923

3. What fandoms do you write for? Marvel (mostly ironwidow) and Our Flag Means Death. I have some Clexa fics from back in the day but haven't written for the fandom in years.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? i'm kinda surprised by these but i guess that older fics and multichapter fics have more time to accumulate kudos? - Something Worth Living For (2498 kudos) - A Night of Drunken Revelry (564 kudos) - iron masks and spider kisses (534 kudos) - Broken (485 kudos) - The Art of Taking a Blade (461 kudos)

5. Do you respond to comments? YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES. I try to reply to every comment because each one is literally the best part of my day.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Oof. The shit I've put Natasha through lol. Probably falling. which is Natasha reflecting on her life as she falls to her death on Vormir. dream. is also up there, it's about kid!Natasha learning to love Yelena as a sister.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? "happiest" is not quantifiable lmao. In the context of canon, maybe Something Worth Living For, it was cathartic and healing to give Clarke and Lexa their happy ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Yup it's happened a handful of times, luckily few and far between, but they always feel like getting a splinter stuck in my skin for days afterwards.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I've written light smut of the sapphic variety. I'm ace so smut is never about the sex for me, it's about character dynamics, power and intimacy. For example, the (non-explicit) sex scene in iron masks and spider kisses is about Toni baring her deepest secrets to Natasha and letting herself be vulnerable with her, and Natasha's acceptance of Toni's scars and past.

10. Do you write crossovers? Nope. My brain doesn't work that way.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I think that some of my very early ironwidow fics have ended up on Wattpad :/

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Not that I know of

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yup I've written a few early ironwidow fics for a challenge waaaaaay back in 2014, with the talented @auripigmentum, @kuailongs and SatinSatire. They helped me find my footing with writing ironwidow: Chemical Reaction (Tony gets kidnapped, Nat comes to his rescue), Never Simple (Natasha finds out secrets about her own past, angst ensues), and Good Intentions (speakeasy era AU that still lives in my head rent-free)

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? i'd be lying if i said anything other than ironwidow. It's the ship I keep coming back to for over a decade.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Oh god. The teen vigilante Avengers AU I was writing in 2014. Idk if it'll ever see the light of day but it was my all-consuming pride and joy for months.

16. What are your writing strengths? idk, you tell me. probably putting characters through angsty situations lmao. Also action scenes (thank u Warrior Cats).

17. What are your writing weaknesses? actually writing lmao. It's hard to get into the mood/mindest for writing. Also writing multichapter fics – my attention span isn't built for anything longer than a 5+1.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I rarely do this because I know that code-mixing (mixing two or more languages when speaking) is incredibly nuanced, varying depending on language, context, and individual speakers. I pretty much only do this when the character canonically code-mixes in speech, and I try to stick to how they would speak, in order to sound as natural as possible.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Warrior Cats when I was about 12 on deviantart. Good times.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? Oh MAN. It's hard to choose a favourite child. I don't think this is my most well-written fic, but the question is asking for a favourite fic not a well-written one, and it's probably iron masks and spider kisses. I loved exploring fem!Toni, and her relationship with her gender and femininity. It's a specific flavour of ironwidow that I haven't found in many other fics (tho there are a couple out there that definitely influenced how i wrote this fic). It's also truly a labour of love – I started writing this around the time Endgame was coming out, and wrote it over a time of enormous change, angst and upheaval in my life.

This was so much fun! I love talking about my writing haha and sharing older fics.

Tagging: @queeenpersephone @autumnwoodsdreamer @missmacfire also i'm realising that i don't remember which of my mutuals is a writer (it's 1 am u can't blame me for this) so if you're a writer – especially if you're on the OFMD fic server – consider yourself tagged!

[ambivartence]

bias tag game!

rules: you're going to pick 10 of your biases (or as many biases as you have and then fill in the rest of the spots with idols you like) and number them 1-10. then answer the questions below! try not to look at the questions before you make your list!

tagged by @boobzi and @lee-minhoe and @dive-in-the-blue (thank yallll 🥰💕)

tagging (no obligation!): @dakbees @gnanii @jikyu @lunetual @neonunau @quokki @seokmatthewz @woodziecup + anyone who wants to play~

my biases (in random order like i literally used a website to randomize it):

d1 // dkb

hongjoong // atz

jihyo // twice

lee know // skz

jiung // p1h

mingyu // svt

jacob // tbz

hangyul // bae173

xiaojun // wayv

jeno // nct

QUESTIONS:

1. Between 7 and 5, who did you bias first?

between 7 (jacob) and 5 (jiung) i biased jacob first !! i got into tbz around feb 2022 (and became a jacob bias in march) and got into p1h in july 2022, so not that big of a time difference honestly!

2. Between 2 and 6, who are you more attached to?

between 2 (hongjoong) and 6 (mingyu) i'm more attached to mingyu (sorry hongjoong LOL) i've been biasing gyu longer and mingyu is just.... so mingyu!!!

3. If you were to spend the day with either 3 or 1, who would you choose and what would you do?

omg evil question how could u make me choose between d1 and jihyo help..... NOOO omg what the hell why cant i have both?? what if dongil and i go to a twice concert??is that allowed??? or jihyo and i go to a dkb fansign event together LOL the dakbees' reactions would be priceless haha

4. What is your favorite physical feature about 9?

XIAOJUN PRETTY PRETTY EYES PRETTY EYEBROWS PRETTY HANDS EVERYTHING SO PRETTY!!!!! DID YALL SEE HIM AT NCT NATION HE SLAYEDDDDD

5. What is your favorite part of 6's personality?

probably mingyu's clumsiness hahaha but i think part of his charm is that he's always trying his best so his clumsiness is so endearing when it happens!! it's always a complete accident and he tries so hard to make up for it (but the other members never let him live LOL)

6. If you were to tell 8 anything you wanted, what would you tell them?

i would tell hangyul to do a bae173 US/world tour, also leave podol, also get more back tattoos, also remind him of his goal of growing his hair out and getting it permed again bc these days he's been getting too many haircuts

7. Between 1 and 2, whose closet would you raid?

between 1 (d1) and 2 (hongjoong) definitely hongjoong i love his fashion style he has such interesting taste and i want it all

8. What is a style that you want to see 3 try?

omg jihyo has done so many concepts already haha and we finally got jihyolo!!!! so i dont even think i have anything left to ask from her. maybe rock concept??? idk the only thing i would ask from her is to marry me skljdfajsdfajsfjsfkkdjjjjjj

9. Between 5 and 4, who are you closer to in height?

between 5 (jiung) and 4 (lee know) i'm pretty sure jiung is taller and i'm shorter than both of them so i'm closer to lino :')

10. Between 10 and 9, whose music do you like the best?

between 10 (jeno) and 9 (xiaojun) who are both in nct and even in the same songs... aksjdlfasdjfjsjj LMAO. hmm. ok well between nct dream and wayv i think i do like wayv b-sides more but i like dream title tracks more :') in terms of their individual styles i'm a sucker for xiaojuns beautiful voice sorry jeno but that man rlly can sing! even tho i do love jeno's raps especially in zoo

edit: also i just listened to the new nct 2023 album and the bat jeno ATE 🤩

[dont-blame-it-on-the-kids]

Also @ anon like, idk the interaction on stuff is a lot different rn than it was when I was posting more steadily even just two years ago.

The likes to reblogs and comments ratios are wayyyy off on tumblr. And likes are good! But they don’t tell me anything. What did you like about it. What do you think happens next (I know some people don’t like predictive comments but this tells me if I’m laying out the story right! If I’m foreshadowing Correctly and How I want you to think!). What made you cry. Did you audibly react to what you read?? (My faveee is “I Yelled in my living room! How could you!!!! 😭”

And reblog! Please for the love of god. If it doesn’t ‘fit’ your blog make a #offbrand tag that people who don’t want to see it can filter out. But please please reblog thats HOW POSTS MOVE on Tumblr! It’s How they’re Seen!

Send me more asks like this! Tell me what you thought! Let me know if I’ve inspired you! I have a whole tag of old work and I get likes on them sometimes but again, really no one but you and me sees your likes on my post.

I’m gonna be honest here for a moment. @nyamadermont is always reblogging my old stuff and commenting in the tags. Nya is really a large part of why I came back. Because my stuff was getting Visible interactions.

For Ao3 comment! My most recent fic Wire. It has 22 comments listed. Ao3 reads comments weird and That’s me replying to Two Individuals. (One of which commented on Every Chapter! It was sooo encouraging to see)

If you need help commenting on Ao3 pick one line from the chapter that really stood out you. A line that made your heart sink or your gut twist or made you smile. You can out it in “quotes” and throw it into the comment box with “oh my god my heart! This lineeeeeeee” and I will accept that lmao I’d love that! Let’s me know exactly where I did my job as a writer lol.

TLDR:

Writing and reading fanfiction is a game of strip poker if you want to see more of me I’ve got to see more of you ☺️

Thank you so much for this ask anon!

[corpsoir]

Corpse. I’m OBSESSED with your OCs and their stands. Absolutely rabid for these fellas. These are SO RAD and I need to know the entire life story of every single one. Do you have any fics of your OCs? Also, I imagine they’re located in Sweden, but where and when do you imagine them in the Jojo’s timeline?

AAAA THANK YOU??!!? i'm glad you like them!! if it weren't for me being the way i am about creating new accounts and shit everywhere i would make them a toyhouse and compile all their info and story there but. i'm not gonna do that, i'm tired of having accounts everywhere lol <//3 one day i will try to make some sort of masterpost about my ocs for fun i guess

i do have minimal writing of them, the thing is while i'm super confident about my art, i'm not at all confident with my writing so every time i show my writing to anyone i need to run and hide because . it's scary. but i do have this one which is basically just a little blurb thingy about how Skagen got the scar over his eye. there's another one i have posted but that's before i completely changed their story and we can ignore that one as it's no longer relevant for the ancient hook gang <3

i also have one draft going on rn about the sailor trio being chased by lovart's father kjell who is the villain in the story but i haven't posted that yet, idk if i will ;_; it's very self indulgent with sailing lol

and FINALLY. the sailor trio isn't connected to canon at all, they just exist in sweden in their own universe. calamari is connected to canon in the sense that they're part of passione but in the stories i have with him and my friends its like. loosely connected to post vento aureo times

if you check my tag corps.oc there should be crumbs of info on all of them there! if not checking each individuals name tag also works if tumblr doesnt eat half the posts

[jamiscrazy4krerdly]

Awesome swag new pfp = not being terrified of social media for a day yay. Everyday I suffer from the looming fear of not doing the Demigirl Catti with Ghoul Neos community justice when I am the only member of the Demigirl Catti with Ghoul Neos community </3. Can guarantee ghoul will play a humongous ginormous gargantuan part in both of my AUs that I’m working soooooo hard on!!! “I thought this was a Krerdly blog??” Sorry not sorry, get Catti namedrop jumpscared. BOO!! (Dw, the gamers still get to be the main characters or whatevsss.)

(Tysm @solasaich for the amazingest Kris ever!! I experience a little more gender envy towards them every passing day.)

Pogress (pog progress) report: shitting my pants. Favorite written down thought: “is this foreshadowing or foreshitting?” (I had a crisis about something inconsequential the day I’m writing this except I’m writing this at midnight so it was technically yesterday!!!) I will be very lucky if even one of my stuffs gets done before the end of the year. But Gamers… I am totally writing Demiromantic Kris so good it is insane; the Krerdly nation is LOSING for one of my AUs lets fucking gooo. (I’ll make dedicated posts about them EVENTUALLY!! Pinky promise. Cutting off my pinky.)

Alsooo, I learned how I like to write Ralsei so I can’t wait to put him in the spotlight for one of my fics!! Aaand then pretend he doesn’t exist for the other, sorry. My ability to sideline characters is unparalleled!! (RIP Asriel LMAO)

ALSO also I’m making a Deltarune Personality quiz on UQuiz maybe. 7 Results, 10 (?) Really Dumb Questions (so far). I color coded the assigned points for individual answers to individual questions and it made me happy. (Susie is ourple)

Ok ok ok I need to write this somewhere so now is a good time as ever: I am so MAD at myself for not putting my silly little tags in my latest ao3 fic >:( idc if it was improper or whatever the hell I should’ve been able to put #successfully-injected-20-ounces-of-silliness-into-Kris WITHOUT FEELING BAD!! I even decided NOT to mention how I think Kris (and all non-binary people for that matter) should totally one-bajillion-percent be allowed to have boobs without being ridiculed for it. The many shapes of our little flesh vessels are obviously not inherently indicative of our gender identity at all and I had the perfect opportunity to state that fact in the notes section but I DIDNT because Kris wearing a binder is part of their character and story that I’ve crafted for them and I wanted to address it properly in another future fic but it’s such a MINOR THING and won’t be this super dramatic factor that’s the center point of an entire fic like I made it out to be like WHY was I so lame and didn’t take a stance on that when I had the chanceee?? UGH!!!

Speaking of fics!! So far I’ve posted one for Christmas and Valentines, right? Well besides my draft for New Years it recently dawned on me that I still need to make one for Halloween and I’ve never written horror before (besides some stupid spontaneous one-off paragraph comment for a yaoi on wattpad IDK what 12 year old me was thinking) so YEAH idk I guess I’ll try my best, I have a couple good ideas?? If push comes to shove I can always revert to “ice cream cake full of fluff with an acidic slice of plot on the cutting knife” or some bullcrap.

Ok enough thinking, I’ve already had to do soooo much that while trying to think of a new nickname for Kris every single fic. I’ve brainstormed some real bologna, but I AM proud of the one I came up for my Deltadungeon AU! Title pending…

THIS bullet point is is dumb but… does anyone play Roblox? Yes? Ok, follow-up question: do you know what Doodle World is? It’s like the bestest pocket monster game on the site. Basically I’m forming a Deltarune theme team consisting of Kris Berdly Susie Noelle Catti and Jockington and if I record some good battles with my trashy theme team I might post them somewhere somehow idk lol but it’d be funny. I cannot WAIT for nothing to come of this.

I saw someone say they HATE Kriselle (on pintrest of all places) and since I’m a multi-shipper AND a certified hater I’m dedicating this paragraph to be a meanie to that person specifically. They are THE childhood friends to lovers!! Noelle watches in abject horror as Kris puts every shape in the square hole. Kris shows off their blades and Noelle tells them blades are for skatin’ and calls them a dingus. Noelle chases after the knight and Kris screams “GIRLFRIEND, STOP, GET BACK IN THE CARRGRHG” while she goes “youuuu come back here” and tackles the knight to the ground, knocking the helmet off and revealing Berdly underneath. Just thought I’d let you all know!!

Ok but honestly I’ve been sooo obsessed with Catti and Ralsei interactions. I have a vivid image in my head of Kris setting ghoul up on a date with an alleged “Prince of the Dark” and then Catti sees this sweet fidgety guy in bright colors and flowy clothing and ghoul’s like “figures” and it PROBABLY doesn’t work out if we’re being realistic but I’m holding out hope!! Rise up, Catsei (Ralti?) shippers!!

Ok gamers as a treat for putting up with me this far I present to you with a scenario: Kris and Berdly on a cloud-watching picnic date with a basket and flowers laying on a blanket except NEITHER of them are actually cloud-watching get epicly pranked!! Berdly’s on his 3DS playing Mii Plaza while Kris is letting bugs crawl on them and thriving. That’s so cool I almost can’t believe that it’s real. Everybody look forward to my upcoming fic based entirely around this idea titled “Kicking Back (A Green Shell)!” /j

Anyway for Halloween Krerdly is Waluaisy while Suselle is Bowigi you’re all WELCOME!!

[stregoniconiconii]

What’s funny is that I think that a lot of headcanons on Stobin’s dynamic is still unhealthy, whether it’s intentional or not, which makes sense for a friendship formed during a traumatic situation, it’s just that it’s usually not quite a codependency lol

Oh yeah i think this is true. I’ve sort of turned my codependent stobin tag into a catch all stobin not being 100% healthy about each other tag tbh lol. Maybe a more accurate term would be enmeshment? That’s usually what ppl are describing, i think. Tbh codependency is usually used for relationships where one of the couple is an addict and their partner enables their behaviour, but it’s been used in other instances a lot now. And i think enmeshment is the word used to describe the unhealthy behaviours in a codependent relationship although sometimes it’s called an enmeshed relationship…basically psychologists love having a million slightly different terms lol. I’ve definitely heard of individuals being described as codependent and them forming enmeshed relationships as well…which of the two, i think steve is more likely to be more codependent. Robin actually seems to be quite aware of herself and she gives good relationship advice to steve (be urself etc etc) and then in lucas on the line (canon-adjacent but still) she also gives good advice to lucas..could be a case of it’s not her relationship so she can see what a good thing to do would be? Like she has a blindspot for her own relationships? idk

The thing with relationships formed during traumatic situations is that you form coping mechanisms that may or may not translate well to a non-traumatic situation. Like for example steve wanting to know where robin is during a stressful situation like say. Getting kidnapped by russians is understandable! Steve wanting to know where robin is ALL the time is not realistic and would result in him crossing boundaries in order to make sure he knows where she is. That may or may not be part of a codependent relationship, it could just be described as a manifestation of PTSD/paranoia.

I think what ppl are usually talking about when they say codependent stobin is how they’ve sort of become one person. A unit. They literally want to become one person lol but that is enmeshment which is codependency…so maybe it’s not inaccurate to call it codependent. Idk we could argue about definitions all day. Bottom line stobin are Not normal lol