#idk if id ever play the games though
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Really interested in both fandoms, so I drew this before I learn anything about em
#faith unholy trinity#ultrakill#ultrakill looks really awesome and faith looks really scary#a#might become passive intrests of mine#idk if id ever play the games though
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okay last one. au where nothing goes wrong at all ever (a lie) and melia venam gay moment
#i like this game a normal amount (also a lie)#everyone should play now do it now please#pokemon rejuvenation#oh another thing about twitter. makes me sad i cant yell about things in the tags there like i always do because there are no tags there#if i wanted to id have to make it into a thread and im pretty sure people read those. so awful#i mean not that i say anything worthwhile here usually but still. no one reads this here. i could yell my thoughts if i had any#anyways about the au :] i have no idea how it would work#i have no thoughts ever at all i was just replaying the game and the one little line melia says at the picnic made me sad#the one where she says its her last day in gearen and asks the player to go with her to gdc#and then she just goes ah nevermind that was weird of me to ask#and no… wait come back… id love to go to gdc with you… :[#and thats where that idea came from. idk where the rest of it came from though i think ive been cursed or somethinv#and also something something her saying shes afraid to go to gdc alone only for her to end up in the past also alone sometging something. ow#my thoughts are very coherent i promise (no they arent)
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@ those tf2 server related tags: the lazypurple silly servers still exist. and if you want a silly-adjacent server that still has killing/pvp enabled then they also have a "TDM" server where objectives are disabled so you really just get to dick around
i figured his servers would still be around, although i don't think i ever had personally played on his servers before. i think i've seen some videos of them in the past though.
the two servers i use to hang around in through 2012-2016 were mostly just... hang-out servers? the term i refer to them as is "hub servers", similar to like... hub levels in platformers. one was a big city server where i met a good ammount of my friends on, the other was a server with maps the server owner created, which is also the server that hosted one of my maps. they had some sourcemods in common like the jetpack plugin.
im not sure if i could personally experience the vibes of those servers in the same way these days. granted anytime i play tf2 these days, it's usually to play casual, haven't touched any community servers in a long time.
#ask#anon#theres a channel ive been subbed to on youtube that made the uhh... meet the random fortress videos#those videos give me nostalgia in a way i cant describe#cause like the two servers i mentioned didnt have that exact extreme vibes going on.#but thats what it felt like to play those servers sometimes#like i see those videos and i imagine thats how the golden machine gun server was back in 2008 or so.#i never played on that server for context. but i watched plenty of videos from their channel#the golden machine gun also brings back the nostalgia of a server having custom maps specific to that server#like you couldnt experience those maps anywhere else.#those kind of maps i think honestly inspired me to get into mapping#that. and the second server listed above had maps that kinda looked not great. and i wanted to make a map that looked nicer.#i dont agree with that sentiment in going about making maps now. but thats what got me into mapping.#im told that server hosted the map i made a lot. like it was a really popular map even after i stopped hanging out there#idk. i guess what im getting at is that theres a certain magic to the servers i use to play that idk if ill ever experience the same again#thats not to say it cant be recreated or remade exactly. its just idk if i could experience it the same.#id have to be around a lot of folks from friendshow. whom of which are folks i met from those servers#though not a lot of us play live tf2 that actively these days. ive mostly been playing cause my current computer runs it well now#and ive just been having fun playing casual.... for the most part. and also customizing my guys#im okay at the game these days. ranging from pretty good to okay in most matches.#sometimes i kinda want to be in a server where i can just look pretty and fuck about.#im sure maybe ill find a place some day. ik the servers exist. i just havent really tried exploring any#i think my experience to those servers are similar to roblox servers i use to hang around in as a kid in 2008-2009#if anyone remembers uhh... space cruise v3 or whatever. thats the vibes i want to achieve for a map some day.#like youre just in a big space cruiser with your own personal room and you can do jobs to get money and buy furnature#and just mill about and shit. too bad that world doesnt really work anymore with robloxs code changes since 2007....#anyway thank you for telling me anon! i do appreciate it!!
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sucrose is like... the cutest thing ever
#⇢₊˚⊹ 🩷∥ruby∥yo,ide yo !!#i made an alt acc to play as aether cuz i picked lumine in my og#just out of curiosity#and for my starter pull i got sucrose#in my og i don't have sucrose (yet. istg if i dont get even ONE copy of her from the current banner...)#so i got to use her for the first time#and she reminds me a lot of hanayo from love live#except she's an alchemy nerd and not an idol fan#i like me some pana so unsurprisingly i like sucrose too#you know what's funny though#they give you two discounted acquaint fate 10-pulls when you're first starting out right?#but instead of giving me another character in the second 10-pull#the game gave me another sucrose#i'm slightly bummed that i didn't get like bennett or xingqiu or chongyun#or literally anyone else because i need more teammates#but i can't complain too much because you know. it's sucrose#also her little ears flick up in her idle animation and it's the most adorable thing i've ever seen#i also really like the physics on her cape thing and her ponytail#idk how to explain it. it's just really satisfying to me
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keep wanting to replay mother 1 so badly its actually driving me crazy
#I CANT THOUGH LIKE.. ITLL BE SUCH A WASTE OF TIME#i barely ever enjoy replaying rpgs ill feel so bad if i try to replay it nd its just Boring#ALSO I HAVE SO MANY OTHER GAMES IM PLAYING THRU RN THAT I ALSO WANNA PLAY LOLLL#like it doesnt matter i should play whatever i want whnever i want…but like..#i feel like id rather play more of smthn new than replay smthn i already know so much abt#idk#uhhhmmhmm i was gonna say smthn else what was it#OH YEAH#i keep thinking abt how goofy the way i played mother 1 was when i step back nd think abt it#the be brief i was playing with an arcade styled controller on a standing desk so i had to stand up yhe entire time while playing#technically i COULD have gotten a stool or lowered the desk but i was too lazy to#honestly the standing didnt bother me too much especially since i was usually playing while chatting with my sister or one of my friends#and also the way things were setup w the emulator was super cryptic so i didnt even dare to touch any of the savestate type stuff so i#played like completely cold turkey. one time i accidentally closed the emulator (one of the buttons on the controller was mapped to escape#nd my arm hit it by accident) so i lost like. 20 minutes of gameplay#i cant remmeber where it was it was really funny though#inquisitivewaltz.txt#i love this game so much it genuinely makes me feel ill sometimes#ahhhhhgghhhhhhgggghghjjjhhghhhhj
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Pissy cuz I got re2 on my switch like a damn moron without really properly reading the description and it’s a version that requires internet connection to run and so I couldn’t even fight the first zombie cuz of how awful the game was cutting out 😭
#the klock keeps ticking#the good news is the game was on sale and i didnt spend actual money cuz i had funds from a gift card#but like. i still wasted 15 gift card dollars that i couldve used for a game that didnt need internet to work#i am such a fooool why didnt i read the description it like said it in big letters REQUIRES INTERNET TO WORK#i was just so excited to see the pretty leon and the pretty claire 🥺#maybe if i go somewhere with good internet i can try again aksjka but yeah lol trying it here is hopeless#our internet is sooo bad i was playing as leon and it starts with the gas station convenience store#couldnt walk and move the camera it was very laggy and the game kept flashing at me like BAD CONNECTION GRRRRRR#then when i went to shoot the funny zombie like damn i must hold the world record for worst attempt at a tutorial enemy ever#i obviously couldnt aim cuz the zombie was moving and everything i did was lagging behind and also when i went to shoot#i literally get possessed and just shot all my bullets at the wall like what the hell whyd i do that 😭#so yeah my fear of playing these games cuz i dont think id be very good at them is more than justified aljdks#im still upset though like i wanted to play this game dammit this sucks#idk why the switch version is like that it sucks and i am mad and angy 👺
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OKAY BEAR WITH ME Y’ALL. I HAVEN’T PLAYED THE GAME SO I’M JUST GOING OFF OF SOME TIRED OLD MAN TROPES.
FRANCIS MOSES x READER
also, i haven’t written down any of my rules, but i don’t have any limits! i’ll write whatever requests people send me! whatever your dark mind can think of will be my pleasure to create!
i don’t mind if you’re not 18+, since, if i ever do make smut i’ll just label it as 18+ and TRUST that 18+ ONLY will read. you all have probably seen, but i’ve just written about my thoughts of different fandoms so far so there’s no 18+ posts YET. (maybe i’ll make this account SFW and do another for NSFW? idk, i normally post on other platforms but randomly decided to give tumblr a try lol)
as a NM/trans man myself, i TRY to keep my readers gender neutral by not really describing the characters features. hard on TRY bc i know the last blurb fic i made of dead plate was Rody x Male Reader lol, oopsies! anywhooo, enjoy~!
WARNINGS! doppleganger mention, possible unconsciousness, possible death, possible unfunny dialogue (bc sometimes i’m the only one who finds me hilarious lmfao), you’re kinda a baddie ngl, you and Francis are besties, Francis is a cat lover?! Francis is a tired old man who hates technology. phone mentioned despite the first wireless phone being made 23 years after the story takes place (use your imagination) uhhh, anything else i forget? comment below!
Francis let out a long sigh of relief, taking his cap off with one hand, using the other to dab away at his sweaty forehead with a handkerchief. Upon seeing the exhausted man, you can’t help but smile softly, shaking your head as you get ready to scold him, once again. You cross your arms, looking at him through the window with a playful disappointed glare.
“mhm mhm, what do we have here? you really should be getting more sleep, mr. milkman, your eyes are starting to sport their own eye bags.”
with this comment, Francis shakes his head but is unable to stop the small, yet tired smile on his face. he bends down to place the crate of milk jugs onto the floor before handing over his ID card. you hum, narrowing your eyes when Francis doesn’t give into your whims. you eye his card, glancing at it a few times before slipping it back to him with a chuckle.
Francis’s eyebrow raises in confusion at your reaction but ends up shaking his head, rolling his eyes playfully and sighing softly. he places his cap back on his head and huffs, deeming your reaction as a go ahead inside.
“now… what if i was a doppelganger? you aren’t even going to call my room to check if someone is there? such a reliable doorman we have.”
despite Francis’s playful tone, your grin slips into a frown as you study Francis from behind the glass. this causes him to tense up, suddenly feeling nervous, like he did something wrong. you hum, tilting your head into your palm as you seemingly analyze Francis for a little while before deciding to speak.
“what’s up brother?”
Francis blinks a few times in surprise, his head tilting in confusion at your question. His eyes narrow as he thinks about the question you asked.
“what’s… up… brother…?”
Francis looks up at the ceiling, taking your question to heart. upon seeing nothing on the ceiling, Francis can only shake his head and sigh at your antics.
“are you done with your tomfoolery, (Y/n)? i’m quite exhausted and would like to go up to my room and rest.”
you can only shake your head, clasping your hands together like a disappointed father getting ready to discuss their kids grades at the dinner table. you begin to explain.
“when Francis first walks in here, he always forgets one of three things… his keys, his hat or the crate of milk. you came in here, although exhausted, you seemed put together, unlike Francis, who is clearly going through a midlife crisis. Francis will then ask me about my cat, well, because he’s a cat person, though he insists no one knows. oh, and, Francis’s home phone has been broken for the past few days and is actually at the store, right now. so, Francis being here so soon, isn’t possible. that, and well, Francis never understands my references, but indulges me anyway… anything else i forgot, doppelganger?”
you bat your eyelashes, smirking from behind the window like you just cracked down the traitor in your group. with each statement, Francis’s doppelgänger’s face becomes visibly more and more angry until the doppelganger begins to completely change: black eyes with white pupils, a wide and eerie black mouth, adorned with long and sharp claws on the end of the doppleganger’s elongated limbs.
“you… you’ll regret this… i will get in one day and get my feast, starting with you. i’ll gut you, keep you alive so you can watch your organs fall out of your body and your blood splatter against-! *CLANK! BAM! PLINK!*”
before the doppelganger could finish his fantasy, much to your amusement, the doppleganger’s body tenses upon being struck before crumpling to the floor after becoming unconscious. you look up from the doppleganger’s body to see the real Francis hovering above the, possibly dead, doppelganger. you shrug, knowing that you wouldn’t have to call DDD services to take care of the mess, now you just have to clean up the body.
“mmm… tuesday… tuesday…? did i get that right?”
you hold back a chuckle at Francis’s response to your last question. you can only nod, letting Francis have the win this time. pinching the bridge of your nose and sighing, a loud laugh bubbles up from your throat as the two of you realized what Francis had hit the doppelganger with.
“ngh… i just bought this phone… damnit… his hard head must have broke it, ah, if i bring it back could i get a… refund…?”
#tnmn#tnmn milkman#tnmn fanfic#tnmn francis mosses#tnmn x reader#tnmn x male reader#that’s not my neighbor x male reader#that’s not my neighbor x reader#francis mosses x male reader#francis mosses x reader#doppleganger#d.d.d
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What's in a Virtue (Kyle "Gaz" Garrick x Reader)
*GIF not mine*
Summary:
Gaz wants you, but the hotel bar you work at has rules; when a bartender calls dibs, all others have to back off. It's how the peace is kept, and as the new girl just trying to rack up some savings, you're not willing to rock the boat.
But Gaz doesn't take kindly to you avoiding him, and he's never been one to beat around the bush. From confessing his love on the first night you met to shouting your name seven times from across the bar, he's not letting you off the hook that easy. Not when he's seen the proof that you've fallen just as hard for him.
A/N: idk man i accidentally googled who ghost was like a week ago and fell so deep into the hot cod men rabbit hole so here we are. Enjoy!
Word count: 8261
Gaz is pretty sure he’s in love with you.
It’s a surprising discovery at 11 pm in an American hotel bar drinking the worst scotch he’s ever had. It’s even more surprising because he just discovered you existed all of thirty minutes ago.
He’s got his glass swirling between two nimble fingers, trying to find that line between hating his drink and actually putting it down. And he’s watching you.
You’re the same bartender who’d asked him (in a horrible imitation of his accent) if he’d wanted his neat scotch “shaken, not stirred.” You’d flushed after you said it and promised to leave him joke-free for the rest of the night. He’d laughed, a bit hollow from his circumstances, and told you it was all right. That he liked it, and that made you flush a little more.
Now, you scuttle like an ant past the other worker, a blonde who’s been making eyes at him all night. Your face is split into this unabashed grin, grippable hips bouncing off the counter as you sweep by and reach below for a bottle, giving him a view of the enviable dip between your breasts.
At first, he thinks it’s just that. Too much American booze, not enough inhibitions; both sending him into that post-mission spiral that makes him touchy and want to touch all at the same time. And he finds it’s nice to watch you rattling glasses and wiping up spills; it’s soothing, the way your eyes are alight with life in this ritzy place, seemingly unbothered by the high level of customers. He especially likes the way you mock the spoiled sods when you can get away with it.
The hotel must be experiencing the perfect storm of weddings, proms, and business meetings—not to mention one very unfortunate layover for one very unlucky special forces sergeant.
He watches as teens keep stumbling back to the counter with pink cheeks, flashing their IDs every time they ask for a new drink. Despite their prom getups and obvious ages, they swear they’re just guests from Mr. and Mrs. Weddington’s ceremony.
The girl you’re with now, stumbling from her heels but selling it as though she’s tipsy, begs and begs for another lemon drop before she “goes back to work on Monday.”
You nod either way, and he watches as you make a display of pouring alcohol into one shaker and juice into another, swapping them out when the teen looks back towards her friends.
You send her on her merry way with a sugared rim and a lemon rind, saying something like “Go easy” as she wanders back to her table. You smile to yourself, amused at this little game you’re playing with half the customers here.
You must feel the heat of his gaze, because you glance at him then. He hopes it’s burning you up as much as it looks, that nervous pinkening of your face as you give him a shrug like what else was there to do?
And Gaz, again, thinks it’s just that. Lust. He thinks about wiping that small smile off your face with his lips, stumbling with you into his hotel room, frantic fingers peeling off clothes. He thinks about how it would be—giggly, probably, despite his surprising coordination when he’s plastered. It’d be you and him swapping words back and forth, back and forth the whole time, silence only filling the room when you’re kissing him and when you feel so fucking new it steals your and his words away.
He doesn’t know why he latches more onto the idea of the moments afterward, the biggest thing being that you decide to stay. Then it’s more back and forth, hobbies and pet peeves and every little thing that’s been on your minds since the 2000s. He gets to know you inside and out, inside again a few more times even as your conversation runs on.
It’s no longer lust at that point. He knows that.
He’s ruthlessly torn from the fantasy by the blonde bartender who, judging by the looks you’re swapping with her, has gotten the entirely wrong idea about the direction of his stare.
He swears to God he was being obvious about it. It was you—it was fucking you that whole time.
But he’s noticed a couple things about you.
The first is that you’re quiet when your customers aren’t overwhelmingly sloshed; awkwardly so, for a bartender. You’re something of a mirror when they are, far more relaxed, laughing easy and cracking jokes, like you preferred your real self be forgotten the next morning.
The second is that you’re soft. Around the edges, all pillowy at the hips and thighs, a sloping curve down each side. And you were soft with your words, no yelling, no arguing with customers, just easy little jabs that no drunk mind would ever cotton onto.
You were only snappy with him the second his head started growing fuzzy.
He wants more of it, even as the pretty bartender makes friendly conversation.
She asks about his day, then his job, then his adventures. Three of the last things he wanted to think about tonight, let alone discuss with a stranger who wants in his pants. However, because she “loves a man with a British accent” and he’s too damn polite to give her the boot, he reveals a little.
Yes, his job is hard. Yes, he’s jumped from an airplane. Yes, he’s killed someone. Of course they were bad.
Until they weren’t. But he won’t tell her that.
However, above all things, Gaz is a planner. And though he’s caught the wrong fish with his bait, his plan B is working excellently.
Gaz glances at you, brushing your hair behind your ear in the increasingly crowded room. The wide array of customers spread out among the limited seating are starting to flood the bar. You can’t pass out beers and shake cosmopolitans at the same time, and a wonderful warmth blossoms in his chest the second you glance at him too, growing desperate.
There’s something like an apology in your eyes. You’re sad you have to ruin your friend’s chances; meanwhile, he thinks it may just be the best part of his night.
The third thing he discovers about you: you’re trying to be the wingwoman for your pretty friend here, and Gaz won’t have it.
You’re going to have to come over here. Beg for help from your friend.
Ruin this little flirtation she’s got going on—what a shame.
You’re too damn polite, just like him. The second he talks to you when you make your way over, you’ll think you have to stay. Humor him for a bit. He’ll ask you for a drink, forcing you to come back a second time around, when the bustle has slowed. He’ll rope you in for the rest of the night by then, and the wait’ll be over.
He feels like a damn schoolboy when you take that first step toward him, and he’s practically vibrating when you get close enough that he can hear your voice for the second time today. It’s far less grating than your friend’s, he’s certain of it—he wouldn’t mind if it was you badgering him, is what he means.
After all, Gaz was on leave, and when Gaz was on leave, he liked things slow. Fresh off a mission, he liked to roll through the motions, order drinks and let the memories turn into static from the corner of the bar. He’d planned on calling Price and damning him for saying it was a blessing to get trapped in the US, set up at a posh hotel on the task force’s budget.
But you stop before him, contrite eyes softening, and he’s getting better at seeing the upside of it all.
“Hate to interrupt—I know you two are trying to get all cozy in the dark over here, but I could use your help, Jeanne. ‘Hugh Janus’ is asking for another beer and our non-alcoholic tap just ran dry.” You look off into the distance, frowning slightly. “I fear we may have genuinely drunk teens on our hands soon.”
Jesus, was her name Jeanne? Gaz hadn’t caught that.
On the bright side, he’s able to confirm one of his sneaking suspicions. Your eyes really are fucking gorgeous up close, and they’re so expressive that he can read you like a book.
But he hates the way you say “you two.” It’s so nonchalant.
Was it too much to ask for a little envy? Just a hint of spite, to prove that some part of what he’s feeling, even a little speck of it, isn’t one-sided?
Your friend— Jeanne , apparently—gives him a disappointed sigh, looks at him like he and her are two conspirators planning on eloping any second. “Duty calls. I’ll be right back.”
He nods, trying to find that balance between polite understanding and absolute relief, but his head grows foggier by the minute and all he can manage is a “sounds good.”
You dive into an explanation when the pair of you are far enough away to inspect the taps, gesturing at a couple of them, and then discreetly at a group in the crowd.
From here, he can see it a little more clearly. You’re younger than the blonde, probably just by a couple years, which means you’re newer here. Younger than him, too, since he pegs Jeanne at around his own age.
The blonde disappears into a storage door wedged between two shelves loaded with glass bottles and illuminated white-blue. A manager, maybe.
Only thing he knows for certain from observing this quick interaction is that you’re finally alone.
He flags you down, and his chest floods with that warm, fuzzy feeling all over again when you hustle over, genuine smile on your lips—because you’re so damn easy to read.
“Know you’re busy, ’nd I hate to bother you, darling, but can you get me another scotch? Shaken, this time, if you please.”
The pet name lands perfectly. Even through all the chatter and music, he can hear the quick stutter in your breath. Then you laugh at his joke, like you think he deserves it.
It’s cheap of him to force that laugh out of you with a shitty joke like that, but he’s feeling a little needy. Wants a preview of what the real thing would sound like.
Fucking music, surely.
“I’ll go get it—”
Not yet. I need more time.
“Not right now. I’ll finish this one off while you work through that fresh hell–” he nods toward the anxious crowd “–then you can come back to me. You’ll find I’m pretty patient.”
A little less so, when it comes to you, but you don’t need to know that yet.
The slight slur to his words must be comforting, because you give him that small smirk you’ve been conservative with all night. “I’ll hold you to that. I’ve heard Brits are perfect gentlemen; be a shame if you proved me wrong.”
“I’m all that and more, darling.” He winks. “You’ll see.”
He could be the bloody worst man on the planet, too, if you wanted.
And he could come out and say that to you, all the things he could be for you tonight, if he wasn’t so keen on the instant change in you.
Because here’s what he expected: a few more little flirtations back and forth, everything kept light and easy. He’d keep you smiling and smirking like that, comfortable in your own skin for just a little bit longer before you have to go back to the other customers and slither back into your shell. He’d get to see that breathtaking blush of yours, pink splotches that tell him he’s on the right track. And then he’d get your rapt attention for the remainder of your and his night, quite like he’s given you his.
But that’s not what happens.
Instead, you’re instantly sheepish, finding yourself leaning a little closer, so close he could reach out and run a finger along the back of your hand (a small touch, but it would certainly floor him).
And then guilt. Pure, heart-wrenching guilt, like you’re taking every word of his to heart in the worst possible way.
Gaz panics.
But you’re not wearing a ring, so no husband, no fiance. He guesses boyfriend or some long-standing crush he can’t—shouldn’t—burrow his way in front of. It’s a disappointing discovery, something he’ll be stewing on for the rest of the night or maybe week, depending on how long he’s stranded here.
He’s not a fan of infidelity, and he sure as hell isn’t changing his opinion on that anytime soon. So he settles himself for a night at the bar cut short. Maybe he’ll order drinks up to his room from now on, praying the task force won’t try and shift the bill onto him. He can’t imagine coming down to the bar and seeing you will be nearly as satisfying anymore.
“I shouldn—I mean, Jeanne really likes y—I mean, we kinda have this rule where we, um,” you fumble with the rag on the counter, suddenly invested in a stain he’s been avoiding all night. You swallow. “I’ll just, uh, bring you your drink later. As promised. I should go help her.”
And you dash off as fast as you can between the counter and the precarious wall decor, almost running into the storage door the other bartender whips open while dragging out a new keg for the tap.
Meanwhile, Gaz…
He has a question.
Were you feeling all that guilt over some “dibs” rule at your bar?
He wants to laugh. The whole first-come, first-served thing makes you look as guilty as if you clubbed a baby seal. So what if Jeanne wants to ask him out? If he says no, does that mean he gets you?
Then he actually laughs a little, because it’s so ridiculous that it’s honestly cute. You care about and respect your coworkers, and support them when they’re hitting on guys at bars. So cute. You’re like the ultimate wingwoman, he’s sure, but that’s not going to change the fact that he wants you.
But the night drags on, and this half hour of patience Gaz promised you becomes paper-slim when you pass off his drink to Jeanne and avoid his end of the bar for far longer than is acceptable.
But you’re still giving her reassuring smiles and manning the bar as she lays her interest on thick, asking how long he’ll be staying and telling him when she gets off.
Gaz isn’t laughing anymore. And that little thing you do where you back off and play wingwoman? Definitely not as sweet as he’d thought it was.
Fuck, it might be the one thing he hates about you.
Because you avoid him for the rest of the night, and he still can’t take his eyes off you.
Not to worry, though. Gaz is a patient man. More importantly, he’s a planner.
He’ll find a way.
He always does.
~~~~~~
Gaz barely sleep that night. Too busy thinking about the mission, the lives that were lost, all that blood that had coated his hands just three days ago.
The way it bothers him comes and goes in phases. Some missions slip off him like rain water over a slick road, rivulets down drives, and he sleeps just fine.
Others soak into him, further than skin deep, where his body becomes a subcutaneous cache of nightmares and gunpowder, and he wakes up choking, smoke filling his lungs, tearing at the tissue of his throat enough that water can’t soothe the burn.
Mornings like this is where he fights fire with fire.
The hotel bar is unsurprisingly destitute but still oddly open at 11 am on a Thursday morning, and he takes a seat more daringly center-staged than he had last night. He glances around, letting thoughts of you, a bartender whose biggest issue was a dibs rule on men, swathe around him.
Admittedly, a lot of it is foggy. He remembers wanting you—a lot , actually. Too much, he might even say, but after all he drank he’s surprised he even found his way back to his room. But the place, a little more aglow with the open windows (that make his head fucking spin, by the way), looks the same as last night, which means he can still envision you wandering over every inch of it.
And he thinks no, you probably weren’t that attractive. Maybe your snipes weren’t that funny, and he’d had no reason to get so upset with you over a rejection. And every little wish he’d had that you were the woman who could warm his bed while he was out on missions and greet him when he came home was a bit over the top, even for drunk Gaz.
Sober Gaz knows better. Sober Gaz knows that no other human being can have that much of an effect on him anymore, because he’s had to rebuild himself after joining the military, after seeing the most honorable and dishonorable things humans can do, and he’s just not fit for something unconditional.
Drunk Gaz, though….
Hammered and horny. That’s all it was. A terrible mixture, and he’s damn ashamed that an innocent girl like you became the target of it. God, did he even tell you his name? Or was it just instant come-on and creepy watching from the corner of the bar?
Gaz notices he’s not alone as he lets his eyes wander; there’s a group of three elderly women jabbering in the corner, waving too-friendly when he spots them. He tosses them a dashing smile, the one that makes his grandmother’s friends burst into titters and giggles.
It has the same effect.
“Who knew you’d be just as charming sober?” a familiar voice rings out.
Gaz’s heart thump-thump s forcefully.
“In all fairness, you do have a shot with them too, if you really wanted to take it.” You lean a little bit closer over the counter, one-ended smile pulling at your lips, and when he catches a trace of that same perfume, his chest twinges.
Fuckin’ hell.
“She’s newly widowed,” you nod to the gaggle again, demeanor conspiratorial, “and happy to be, apparently. Why am I not surprised you’re popular to all ages?”
He’s got no clue what you’re talking about. Damn, he’s not even listening. Your lips look too soft to him right now, and it’s downright unfair how domestic you look in morning light, placid and playful, like the last thing you were made for was exacerbating nightlife.
“All ages?” he mumbles, because he can’t quite think straight, and the best thing he can do is repeat the last few words he’d heard you say before his train of thought had caught fire, derailed, and crashed explosively against brick wall.
He’s struck still, is what he means. He can’t quite think past the idea of you, coming a little closer to him, letting him trap you against his chest. Letting him breathe in the scent of your hair as you tell him about your day—boring, maybe, if it wasn’t you who was telling the story.
But your voice and tone, that playful edge that sounds like the sweetness of cotton candy and would taste like fucking everything to him, it draws him in.
Gaz comes to the conclusion that not everything was a drunken haze last night.
And he realizes that maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t quite the fisherman he thought he was, trying to catch you. If anything, he was the fish snapping after your line, bait or no, wanting to be yanked out of the water and gutted until everything he ever was was bare for those pretty eyes.
And he’s that very same fish this morning, gaping and blinking wide-eyed.
Fuckin’. Hell.
“My God, those teenagers last night? And then Jeanne, and the bridesmaids? And, okay, I shit you not, even the bride. You’re a menace in this bar, you know that?”
“Are you included in all that?”
If he remembers anything from the night before, it was the way you clammed up after he made his first move. You’re the spitting image of it now, pursed lips and antsy fingers, even after all that big talk.
It’s an absent thought that flies past him in that moment, but he recalls that you were only loose enough to joke around with people already tipsy. He lets a small consideration tag along, a half-thought, really, that maybe you felt as comfortable around him as he did around you.
That, or he still looked smashed from last night.
You dodge his question completely.
“So what can I get you this morning…?” You let the tail end of the question drag on a bit, and he decides it’s because you can’t remember his name. He tries to stave off the gross pinch in his stomach by recalling there’s an all too real chance he never even told you.
“Kyle.”
You shake your head quickly, mumbling, “No, I—I remember.”
Gaz, though he can’t help but feel like an asshole for it, grins at your stutter.
“Surprise me, then.” He sits back, not remembering when he made the decision to lean a bit closer. “YN,” he tags on, smiling a bit more at your nervous laugh.
You look him over, some short glance that stuffs his head full of cotton, and start working on a concoction with a small grin.
He’s patient, minds his own business and fiddles with his phone as you shake and pour.
No messages from Price, and Gaz shoves down any distant panic that he might have sent an aggravated text or two in his state last night.
But no messages means no updates, which means it’s safe to assume he’ll be marooned at this hotel for another two weeks.
Not as bad as he thought it would be, so far.
You step away with a tray of drinks and return empty handed. Then you slip a glass in front of him, frosty and golden, slowly seeping red by a single maraschino cherry.
He guffaws. “Mai Tai? What, no umbrella?”
You slip a mini umbrella into his drink. “You underestimate me.”
His headache is killing him. The sun’s too bright, and he’s thanking God that the music in here isn’t nearly as pounding as it was yesterday. The memories still haunt him, horizoning his mind. Every drop of blood, every plea, every blank-eyed stare.
And then there’s you. Just you. You read like a sheet of paper, and you’re soft around the edges, and you couldn’t even comprehend half the things he’s seen.
You spoon another maraschino cherry out of the cooling jar and pop it into your mouth, laving your tongue over it before biting down, the juices dying your tongue red.
Fuck.
Gaz wants to kiss you.
He wants you to taste the Mai Tai on his tongue and sigh happily, eyes rolling the exact same way. He might die if you don’t.
“It’s on the house, only because you were true to your word.”
He gets peeks of that red tongue of yours and shifts in his seat. “What d’you mean?”
“You were patient, as promised, and I’m afraid I’ll need a little more of that today.”
Any of it. All of it, for you. Fuck, he could be so patient for you.
Gaz furrows his brow anyway. “Didn’t know you were so greedy. Why d’you ask, love?”
“I guess you couldn’t tell from last night, but I’m a pretty shitty bartender. That’s why they got me working mornings.”
He glances at the Mai Tai. “So you’re sayin’ I’m shit outta luck.”
“I’m saying that if you’re going to let me pick your drink, you’re going to keep getting whatever’s left in the mixer from formerly Mrs. Jones’ group of three. I should warn you, they party hard.”
Gaz sighs. “What’s next on the menu?”
“More mimosas. That was their warm-up. You wanna catch up?” You frame a carton of orange juice in your hands enticingly.
Fruity drinks from here on out. Gaz doesn’t exactly mind the idea, though he’d come down to the bar for something with more of a kick. But he’s wondering how long your shift runs if you’d worked the night before and the morning after.
He’s got a chance here; without your friend present, your guilty conscience must feel balmed.
Gaz shakes his head, tearing a finger at the mini umbrella’s ridges. “I’ll stick to their schedule. Have a feeling I should be pacing myself with that crew.”
“Good feeling,” you nod.
The air of silence that settles is comfortable. There’s the rattle of ice and champagne, the slow slosh of orange pooling in three going on four glasses, and Gaz watches you through it all. But he can see the way his gaze makes you nervous. Your movements are all rickety, and you can’t quite find that rhythm between shaking the mixer and making eye contact.
Gaz wasn’t lying. Most if not all the women he’s met (sans a few of his targets) agree: he’s a kind man. Chivalrous, soothing, amiable.
So he’s not sure why seeing your nerves gets a lovely thrill rattling its way down his spine. Sure, he wished you felt a smidge less timid, a lot more loose and sunny in his company. But, he guesses, it’s because with you, he’s willing to settle. Take what he can get; it’s not unlike a stakeout, really. He’s parked here, waiting for you to come out of your shell on your own time.
Can’t really help that he’s greedy when it counts, though, and when you set the mimosa in front of him, he reaches before you can pull away, getting that warm slide of your fingers against his.
“So what are you doin’ here, in a place like this, if you’re not a good bartender?”
He has to salvage your courage before you slip into the backroom for space to think. He can’t let that happen, overthinker that you are, and you’re too nice to abandon him mid-conversation.
He’s okay with manipulating you that much.
“Gap year. Several actually, but I don’t like to think about that.” You’re fidgeting with a rag, twisting it until the damp cotton creases under your fingers.
“What are you gappin’ to?”
You huff out a laugh. “Med school, hopefully. Grad school, possibly. Just want to do something more, you know? Since apparently a bachelor’s gets you nowhere nowadays, and I’m just thirty grand in hole for nothing.”
“It’ll work itself out. For you, I’m certain of it.”
And he thinks he’s nailed it.
Look. Look at all he can say and do to make you feel comfortable. And look! He can make you laugh and smile. And his touch was nice, right? Warm, gentle, everything you’d want. He’s got it right here. Waiting for you.
And then you blink, long and slow, eyes on the counter. Then…
“You know, I’m really jealous of Jeanne. I mean, she has it all figured out.”
Gaz fights the urge to grind his teeth, but he drops his elbows to the counter and cups at the mimosa. Not good enough, doesn’t burn enough. Too easy on the champagne, and he distantly wonders if you pull what you did last night all the time.
That thing where you go easy on drinks by coming around less, or neutering them completely before you pass them out.
That thing where you’re trying to do better for everyone , where you think you know better. He can only guess that it’s come so often with a cost to you that it’s all you know how to do anymore—giving, no taking. Helping always; never, ever hurting, no matter what you want.
“C’mon,” he mutters, but you’re reaching for another red cherry. Chewing on it as it dyes your teeth pink.
“She’s one of the managers here, did she tell you that? And she’s only a couple years older than me, and she’s just… she knows what she wants. And goes for it, too.”
Is that what it was? You weren’t willing to go for it?
He’ll build that bridge for you, dammit. He’d hold you hand across the whole fucking way if you’d just let him.
“She’s the only person in the whole area willing to give me a chance, even though I’d never bartended before.”
He lets you ramble, lets the sound of your voice sink into him, gives encouraging responses when he has to.
Jeanne likes to go hiking.
Jeanne likes to swim.
Jeanne loves nights out.
Sure, yeah, okay. But do you like any of that?
You don’t. You hate it all, actually. You even have a fear of drowning, heights, the whole works. You’re very much a homebody, curled up on your couch reading, drinking tea—not a huge fan of wine, or alcohol, actually, but don’t laugh! It was the highest paying job you could find, and yes, you do see the irony. Yes, you make a good cup of tea. Why?
Trying to find out even that much about you was like playing a damn tennis match. You won’t stop shoving the topic away, getting all insecure when he asks what you like. What you want.
He plans to change that.
But for now? Fine. You won’t talk about you. But he’s not going to let you talk about Jeanne.
So you’re talking about him.
“We don’t get much of your type around here.”
“Special forces?”
“British.” You give up on wiping the counter, instead leaning on two hands and watching him sip at the piña colada you’ve just made. He’d offered you the pineapple slice. After you’d said no, he watched you watch him bite in, wiping off the juice off his lips with his thumb.
He had to remind himself that it was patience you were looking for, even with your lips parted in a daze like that.
“Special forces, though, huh?” You glance around with faux wariness. “Should I be worried?”
“Depends. How many people round here are up to no good?”
“I mean, there’s the occasional bad tipper but, between you and me,” you lean in, give a small shrug, “I deal with them in my own way.”
Gaz raises a brow, smile growing. “Maybe I’m the one who should be worried.”
“Depends. Are you going to be rifling around for a five or a twenty-five dollar tip in that wallet of yours?”
Gaz sighs, “The best company always comes with the highest price, don’t it?”
“Not as high as you think,” you laugh.
If there was ever a groove to find between you and him, he’s finally located it.
Five minutes too late, it seems.
You’re glancing at the clock when you hear rustling in the storage room, and the blonde bartender that’s bloody haunting him now pushes through the swinging door.
“Jeanne.” You voice is a wonderful mixture of fake enthusiasm and slight disappointment. “Look who’s here.”
Trapped. That’s what he is.
And you leave without a goodbye or a glance in his direction, too.
He tells himself you’re shy, insecure, delicate little thing that he keeps pushing the boundaries of, trying to find the edge of having you and scaring you off completely.
Like taming a wild animal.
Fucking patience. For all his years, all his adventures, he never knew he’d run out of it in the most civilian of circumstances.
He sticks around a while longer, humors Jeanne’s interest. Amazingly enough, they have so much in common, who would have thought?
And who would have thought that after last night, that was the last thing he’d ever want.
~~~~~~
You’re doing that thing again, where you ignore him.
He’d think it’s cute, how shy you were, if you only didn’t sic your friend on him each time you did it. He’s fairly certain his interest is clear.
He’s been going to the bar for the last few days. Sometimes he sees you, sometimes he doesn’t. He prefers the former, and when it’s the latter, he’s reminded of just how shitty the alcohol is in the US, and that he’s trapped here, and how it’s starting to become hell.
But he won’t tell you that. That your home and this hotel are the last places he wants to be on the whole planet, present company excluded.
Despite the fact that present company feels like she has to include her friend in every conversation. He loves how selfless you are, no man left behind and whatnot, but he wishes you could see the failing attraction right before your eyes.
You try to slip off, leave the pair of them alone, but Gaz won’t have it. If you wander too close, he’ll drag you in, call your damn name across the bar if he has to, wrench on that ever-guilty, ever-pleasing heart of yours to go and answer him, talk to him, pay him the attention he needs nightly, apparently.
As of late, you’ve started playing this game. Gaz’ll bring up a topic, anything from the horrors of war to butterflies.
And you think there might be some upsides to the horrors of war, maybe. And butterflies are ugly and gross, always.
Gaz loves how beautiful the mountains are up north; you despise them. They look cold.
But he thought you loved cold weather?
Well, you don’t like cold weather when it’s… on mountains. You guess.
An interesting play, he quite thinks. Such odd tactics you have running in your mind. But you’re trying so hard to be this good, loyal friend. You want so badly to find the middle ground here, please Jeanne and Gaz, let them both be happy.
But when push comes to shove, Jeanne had dibs. And Gaz has to bear the brunt of it.
Two weeks have gone by before Price contacts Gaz again. Tells him the 141 had lain low long enough that he can come back home and get some well deserved leave. The news makes him fucking ecstatic when he first hears it. Thank fuck he’ll never have to use the launderettes here again, never have to listen to the damned click-click-click of the aircon or the mini fridge.
He misses so many things from home.
Shepherd’s pie. Good cigarettes and tea. A whiskey sour from that bar just three blocks down from his flat.
And his flat. His bed. His sofa, the kitchen he barely uses, the door that whines because he can’t bring himself to oil it; gone too long, too often for it to really matter most days. The toaster he doesn’t plug in ever because it damn well almost burned down his flat last time he was out for two months.
All of it empty. Cold and bare. Too unused to really miss.
Gaz slows while packing his things. He stops, grabs his phone, then lowers to the bed. He stares at the recent calls list, Captain still at the top, call ended twenty minutes ago.
Home has a different taste in his mouth than it used to. Not horribly bad, but different enough to notice.
It’ll be quiet. Gaz used to love quiet.
Being here has changed something in him.
Nothing big—all small things, in fact.
A pondering floats down on him, comes to his mind and makes the rest of his body tighten, a coiled spring waiting, wondering. It’s such a small question, too, but things with you always seemed so small and insignificant, until he got a moment of quiet to consider it.
Do they sell your perfume in the UK?
It’s not a huge thing if they don't.
Really, it’s not life-changing. He’s just trying to consider never having it again, never having it flood his senses when you get too close, lean a bit closer to slide him his drink.
Then it’s you not leaning in close ever again. Then no you, ever again.
Gaz can’t quite make it make sense.
Home is good. Hell, he misses it.
But home is no set place anymore. Home could be two poles repelling each other but attracting him, pulling at each half of him, waiting to tear him down the middle while he tries to decide.
Two fucking weeks? Gaz has to check his phone to make sure. Has that really all it’s been?
Bullshit.
Tell him why it feels like it’s been years. Tell him why he can’t imagine going home as anything other than a misstep, one bad fucking decision away from sealing his fate.
A slice of shepherd’s pie and a nice cup of Earl Grey—it can wait.
A little longer, at least. He needs some time to make certain on some things. A month, maybe. On his own dime now. After all, what’s four thousand dollars compared to a missed opportunity for something better?
…He’ll see if they have deals on extended stays.
~~~~~~
“YN.”
Nothing.
“YN.”
Still nothing.
“YN!”
You’re avoiding eye contact and maintaining a six-foot radius at all times, like he’s got the damn plague.
It’s been the same setting for the past four weeks; corner of the bar, closer to the same dark shit that swirls in his glass now, aiming for privacy and good company.
He used to think he was a good shot, but his accuracy’s been bloody terrible as of late.
Twelve times. He’s tried asking you out twelve times.
After the most recent attempt crash-landed with you interrupting to tell him about your sister’s obsession with popping zits, he considered it. Oh boy, did he consider giving up, asking himself why the hell he ever got so desperate in the first place.
Tonight was supposed to be some last hurrah of sorts. His flight leaves tomorrow morning, and his patience with you has become so thin it could snap with a single breath.
But he gets here, sees you.
Sees you bustling around the bar—which, in his mind’s eye, is his flat. And you look right at home, by the way. Wandering in and out of his room, his kitchen, the living room. Curled up on the settee, your soft thighs winking at him from beneath his own sweatshirt. Then you’re dancing in the same way, hips swaying to the obnoxious beat, leaning in closer instead of pulling away when he grabs onto you like he ought to.
For all that’s good and pure, you never distance yourself like you do now.
There’s no easily spooking the you in his head that wants him just as badly as he does you.
Your name falls from his lips an unavoidable number of times from the corner of the bar, and you finally fold.
See—wasn’t so hard, was it?
Not so painful if you’d just give in and go on a date with him now, too.
You saunter over, a world-weary sigh falling from your lips. “My God, Kyle, you sound like a damn cockatoo over here. Or my mom, which was a bit unsettling. Need I remind you I regret telling you my middle name.”
“Then you won’t be surprised to know you’re getting a good scolding, with the way you’ve been avoiding me.”
That same look takes up your features, pouty lips and wrinkled brow, like he’s barking up the wrong tree all over again. Might be his favorite expression of yours, second only to that little grin when you see him each day.
The same one that keeps him barking.
“You know it’s for a good reason, Kyle. I’ve told you this.”
“Remind me again, darling. Is it a boyfriend?”
You huff a sigh. “No.”
“Husband?”
You roll your eyes. “No.”
“Lesbian?”
“What?” You stare at him wide-eyed, and he shrugs.
“Just makin’ sure my bases are covered. So what is it, then?”
“You’re unbelievable.”
“I’m also dead fuckin’ serious,” his voice raises when you try to walk away. He can barely refrain from swatting out at your wrist, spinning you back around to look at him. Over the weeks, he’s discovered your biggest weakness is his eyes, and he puppy-dogs them now. “Out with it. Please.”
His white-knuckled hands ache from where they grip under the bar’s ledge, and he’s trying blessedly hard to keep still as you look him over. Every scar, every bag under his eyes, every premature wrinkle. You can see it all and more, probably even see the nightmare he had three days ago, where it was you tied up, enemy’s gun pointed at the pliable skin of your temple, your cries echoing in the empty warehouse.
Where, a building over, in sniper-position, Gaz’s frozen. His fucking trigger finger won’t twitch, and he can’t breathe, can’t move even as the gunshot lit up your skin, and he rolled out of the same hotel bed, coughing on the floor, wheezing.
He tops off his eyes with a dashing smile, pleasant like his mind hadn’t painted the picture of you bloody and dying, still haunting him.
Gaz isn’t as easy to read as you are. You wouldn’t be able to tell.
“You’re looking at me like that again.”
“Like I’m whipped?” As if he could look like anything else.
“No, like…” You bite your tongue, and Gaz would give anything to know what you’d planned on doing with the hand you’d raised toward him just then, only to let it drop down at your side. “Never mind.”
“C’mon.” God , his hands ache. “Just tell me. Thought we were friends?”
“We are friends, Kyle.” You ignore how smug he gets, fixing him with a look. “But that’s all we are.”
Gaz scoffs, “I don’t get it. Just because your friend has, what, a li’l crush on me, and she doesn’t even know me, this can’t happen?”
You know what this is. He knows you know what this is. And he knows you want it, too.
“It’s…” you bite the inside of your cheek while avoiding his gaze, and he knows it’s because you can’t think when he looks at you like that. Pleading. Desperate. And so damn breathless at the sigh of you that it makes it that much harder for you to say you don’t want him. “It’s a whole big thing we agreed on when I started working here. It’s how the peace is kept, not just between Jeanne and me—but for everyone. That’s just how we do it.”
“YN…”
You ignore him. “And I like this job, Kyle. I do. I don’t care that I’m horrible at mixing drinks, and that I can’t handle drunk people to save my life. It feels good to have something to do when I don’t know what else to do with myself, and I can’t have some little lover’s quarrel ruin that.
“And Jeanne is a great person. And I know you don’t like it when I bring it up, but it’s true. She saw you first and called it. So I’m stepping back, not getting in the middle of it because I owe it to her, and I don’t get why you won’t just do me that solid and give her a chance. You two are a much better fit than you and I would ever be—”
“You hate camping.”
You fall silent, staring at him in confusion. “What?”
“You hate camping. And the woods. The outside, really. You told me that. Then you told me your daily circuit is the bar, then your home, sometimes to the café down the street from here, but that’s rare. And that you like books, but I know s’not the cute, adventure-y ones you pretend to like. I googled a few of yours, ones I caught you sneakin’ on your breaks—dirty little bird, you are, by the way. But I like that about you. All of it. Everything you think you have to keep under wraps.”
“Kyle…”
“I like the way you say my name, too. And how soft your skin looks, and those thighs—fuck me. Is your perfume cherries, by the way?”
“Peaches,” you mumble. He nods.
“That too. I mean, every little thing, darling. I swear, I want it. Don’t care that we’re complete opposites, that you’re scared of what I do, what I’m built for. I need you to know that I want you because of that, not in spite of. I don’t need you all the time, I promise. But I don’t think I could handle it if I didn’t have you at all.”
You want him. He can see it. You’re melting into a goddamn puddle before him, wandering nearer and nearer like you can’t help it.
What else can he say? What the hell else does he have to do to prove that he wants you so bad it’s driving him up the walls? Gaz is wrenched so tight in his seat that he could snap and hurdle the counter, drag you out of here and show you everything he’s willing to give.
He needs a promise before he leaves. Something.
“God, Kyle, I didn’t…” your breath stutters, but you won’t pull your gaze from his. “I didn’t know. I didn’t know you were so serious about this.”
You didn’t know? You couldn’t fucking tell? After a month of him puttering around here, begging for your attention, doing anything he could to get you to look at him—
“I thought you were just…”
Fuck.
Gaz shakes his head.
Fuck.
Messing with you? Teasing you? That’s all you thought it was?
He tips his head back, locking onto the ceiling.
What could he have said during the past five weeks that would make you think that?
He runs through every conversation, every interaction, every whipped, needy look he couldn’t hold back because he couldn’t stop them around you.
And then he thinks about Jeanne. How you’ve been pushing her on him. And how he’s a perfect fucking gentleman and entertained her interest with polite conversation.
Then there’s you, his shy little rabbit watching from the other end of the bar, so damn skittish that he can only draw you back in after she’s long left him alone. Not even surveying or passively watching, but crafting wildly inaccurate conclusions in your little overthinking head.
No.
No, no, no, because, fickle as you are, you’re a giver.
And Gaz’s been stealing that role from you this whole time.
He hasn’t let you show your worth. He doesn’t need to see it, no, but you think you have to prove it. You like your trials by fire. You don’t like winning by default.
You don’t think you could be wanted for wanting’s sake.
In all fairness, Gaz didn’t think he functioned like that either—unconditional terms and all that. So he thought he’d had to give back. Give back so much that it frightened you, and you couldn’t hold up what you thought was your end.
A bloody fool. That’s what he is.
His little American rabbit plays by different rules. In the UK, women in bars are so straightforward, so honest.
What a fuckin’ sod he is.
His flight leaves in nine hours, and he hasn’t packed, hasn’t slept.
Too busy thinking about you. How much of a wrench you’ve been in his plans.
He didn’t think wanting you would be like asking the world to spin the other way.
And, hell, what’s he supposed to do when he does leave, gone off on the mission Price’s hinted to him, the one that’s halfway across the globe, and you’re back here, trying and probably succeeding at forgetting he exists.
Fuck.
You not knowing he exists.
Him having never met you.
The ideas make him sick.
But Gaz…
Gaz is a planner. Above all else.
And if you want an opportunity to show what you can give him, he’ll give you just that. While he’s on a mission, mind on worse, far more horrible things, he’ll give you that chance you’ve been itching so hard for.
“Your phone.”
You’ve been watching him go through phases, even refilled his glass while he was out. Scotch on the rocks, this time. Like you thought he had to start taking it easy from here on out, like you think he deserves it.
“What?”
“Let me give you my number.”
“Kyle… that’s not a good idea.”
“Don’t care, love.”
To your credit, you have a healthy amount of wariness. In several jerky movements, you pull your phone from your pocket, open it to a new contact, and pass it to him, eyeing up every little thing he types.
Kyle (Hot Guy from the Bar) Garrick.
His phone number.
Then he texts himself quickly, saves your number too, and holds your phone out.
When you grab at it, he holds tight, tugging for your attention.
Like he hasn’t, in a most wonderfully heady way, already got it.
“No funny business with this, love.” His features turn grim. “No giving it to your friend so she can woo me—”
“Woo you?”
He gives you a stern look. “A phone call. A text. A fuckin’ pocket dial, I don’t care. But I want it from you, or no one, yeah?”
Only after you nod, slow and unsure, does he push himself out of the barstool for the last time, nodding to you. Eyes soft as he whispers, “Have a good night, darling.”
Your eyes don’t leave him as he walks away, phone still gripped tightly in your hand.
~~~~~~
Part 2
#kyle gaz garrick x reader#call of duty x reader#cod x reader#kyle garrick x reader#gaz x reader#kyle gaz garrick#kyle garrick#gaz cod#cod gaz
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lying in wait
Randomly listened to some Hamilton over the weekend, ended up with "Wait For It" stuck in my head, and wrote this in a couple hours today. I think it's angst, but with a nice dash of crack? Idk 😅 But I hope it makes you smile! 🫶 below + AO3
November 3, 1981
The cottage is silent, save for the ticking of the old grandfather clock in the hall, and it’s already pitch dark, with only the faint glow of street lamps and budding moonlight shining in through rain-slicked windows.
Lily draws up her knees to her chest where she sits on the sofa, peering mindlessly into blurry windowpane. She doesn’t remember the last time she walked aimlessly down a road, or went into a shop. Sometimes, on stormy autumn nights like this, she wonders if she ever will again.
Footsteps tumble down the stairs, then come to an abrupt halt.
“Lil?” She can see his shadowed outline, one hand in his hair. “You just…sitting in the dark?”
She shrugs, though he probably can’t see, and asks, “Harry went down alright, then?”
James chuckles to himself as he crosses the room, picking his way around the furniture until he drops onto the sofa next to her. “After reading every book twice and playing the Snitch game for thirty minutes…yes.” He leans closer, grinning. “Our son is asleep.”
She rests a hand on his scruffy cheek. “It’s only supposed to be ten minutes of the Snitch game,” she teases him.
“I know,” James sighs. “But he asked for ten more.”
Lily snorts. “What, and then ten more after that?”
He throws his hands weakly in his lap. “Wha—am I supposed to say no to the kid? He looks just like me!”
She falls into him, a laughing heap, and for a moment, they simply giggle deliriously together. It’s nice. It’s normal. Or at least a sliver of it.
James cuddles her into him, and Lily breaths him in. They’ve lost so many over the few years since Hogwarts, but they still have each other. She clings on to that, to him.
“I love you,” she says into his chest.
He kisses the top of her head. “I love you, too.”
A stretching silence; a heavy sigh. “It’s his birthday.”
“I know,” James murmurs. “I can’t stop thinking about him.”
Lily peels herself off his chest and swings a leg over his lap, sitting with her arms looped around his neck. How many conversations have they had over the years while sitting just like this? How many more will they get?
“He said he’d be in touch by today.” Her mind won’t stop racing. “What if this was a bad id—”
“It wasn’t,” James cuts her off. “Besides.” A heavy sigh. “It was…our only idea.”
“Do you think…” She pauses, plays with his hair. “Do you think we…did the right thing?”
He sits up straighter, pulling her closer against him. “You’re the only two people in my life I know I can trust completely,” he says. “So yeah, I think we did.”
There’s no use rehashing it again; they’ve done that enough. Yes, he now has a target on his back, but it’s not like he wasn’t already a target before. No, it couldn’t have been anyone else—not Albus, who knows more than he’s saying; not Remus, whom Albus and Sirius both suspect; and not Peter, who’s been looking exhausted and strung-out from the night-shift reconnaissance he’s been assigned. Yes, he had to leave. And no, it wasn’t cowardly to do so.
Granted, that last bit had taken a not insignificant amount of convincing (damned Gryffindor), but he eventually came around to their idea. Staying around in England with Voldemort sure to be onto him was certain death. But why not take advantage of being top of Voldemort’s mind? Why make it easy, when instead he could make it hard? Give the Order a leg up? Let them use him (or rather, the idea of him) as bait to lure and manipulate all the Death Eaters looking for him, and maybe even root out the spy in the process? And really, if anyone was going to lead Voldemort on a wild goose chase, setting traps and lying in wait, who better than Sirius Black?
Still, she worries. She can’t help it. And she knows James worries too, even if he does do a better job of hiding it.
There’s only one thing left to do, really; only one way to pass the time sufficiently distracted from racing thoughts. James must read her mind, because he’s all eager hands and excited tongue when she kisses him. Maybe it’s unhealthy, how much they’ve used sex to cope the past year. But when his mouth feels like this and hair’s in her hands…she’s not sure she cares.
“Prongs!”
They jump, springing apart like they’re fifth years caught after curfew. James swears under his breath as they fumble to right the clothes they’d started shoving aside before he reaches for the small mirror sitting on the coffee table.
“Padfoot!”
Lily frantically feels around the sofa for her wand.
“Why’s it so dar—oh, don’t tell me you were just—”
“We were waiting for you,” James covers.
“Mate. That’s worse. Just say you were shagging.”
“Well, we weren’t yet.”
“Hi, Sirius.” She brandishes her now-glowing wand, recovered from the seam between the cushions.
“Lily! Looking rumpled as ever!”
She yanks her cardigan back up her shoulder as she scolds, “Shut it.”
“I miss you, too.”
They can only see Sirius’s chin in frame, and it seems like he’s moving around.
“Happy birthday, man,” James says.
“Thanks.”
“Where are you?”
“Hang on—I have to show you—ready?”
“Yeah?”
His face comes into view and Lily instantly gasps.
Sirius grins. “Like it?”
His once shoulder-length hair’s been chopped off stylishly short in a fresh cut that makes him look like old Hollywood charm in that loose button-down he has on.
“Damn, Pads!”
“I…barely recognize you,” Lily stammers.
“Well.” He adjusts the mirror closer to his face. “That’s sorta the point.”
A heavy pit settles in her stomach.
“How you been?” James asks. “Travel go okay?”
“Yeah, fine.” Sirius shrugs. “I’ve been doing things the Muggle way—that Muggle Studies N.E.W.T.’s finally paying off, who woulda thought.”
“Where are you now?”
The mirror turns around, panning over an ocean-side city lit up with lights through a set of patio doors. “Cannes,” he says, and Lily hears the grin in his voice. The mirror turns back to his face. “I have access to money here, dad’s side of the family, in the French bank. And I figure…” He flops back atop a hotel bed, one hand beneath his head. “If Voldemort wants to come get me, he’ll just have to bring his snakey arse down to the beach, won’t he?”
They all bust up into snorting, wheezing laughter. It’s not normal; none of it’s normal. But laughing with her husband and their best friend like this is the closest to normal she’s felt in a long time, and she thinks, if this is how life has to be for awhile, she can live with it.
#missgryffin writes#jily#jple#james x lily#jily fanfiction#alternate ending#not really sure what this is it just happened#everyone lives au#justice for sirius black#getting the adventure story he deserves
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I need advice asap!
Im 21 years old and im a student in college. I work a coffee shop job. My boyfriend is 23 years old and works a full time job as a computer engineer for a company and makes 70k a year if not more. I’m considering breaking up with him, but before why, I’ll elaborate.
Me and my boyfriend live together.
His apartment burned down in late 2022, early 2023. Until he found a place he stayed with me and my family. When he got his place he asked me to move in on a few conditions: id cook and clean.
We have a dog. I handle most of everything for the dog except for maybe walking and play.
My boyfriend and I had a huge fight months ago, nearly a year ago, because when I wasn’t there, I was hanging with friends, he broke into my laptop and searched my messages and found old sexual messages between me and this girl and accused me of cheating. Yet he never broke up with me.
He hardly ever speaks to me and makes it seem like I’m an annoyance.
He doesn’t respect my boundaries and always pushes me
Now he wants me to quit my job and get a serving job so I can pay half the rent as well as my other expenses.
He wanted to visit his parent in Florida and drive using my car. Dealership said my wheels weren’t good and I needed them all replaced. He paid for it and told me I had to pay him back even thought I never asked. He drove my car down there and doesn’t pay shit on it! And is trying to do it again, but I said no this time.
He hardly interacts with my family.
He doesn’t help me financially but expects me to help him. The most she’s bought me is a few books and stuff. When I bought him a 1.2k dollar amp for his college graduation and I was broke, that came out my savings and it burnt in the fire.
I constantly bend over backwards for him and get hardly anything in return. I think our relationship has run its course I just have no idea what to do.
I just need advice I feel so stuck and stupid. Can anyone help me? Mg parents keep telling Me to come back home and finish school, save my money. But idk I’m afraid he’ll expose my sexuality to them cuz he said he would.
Two last things, this is more recent, my boyfriend is supposed to be going to Florida in a few days and I can’t afford to come —context it’s his brothers engagement party—I already expressed this. Not I mention it would be out 3rd anniversary while he is down there and he hasn’t said shit about it. Also instead of helping me he just sends me screenshots of flight costs and shit.
Another thing happened the other night. I got kind of drunk and was sitting on the couch. I wanted to talk to him and was begging for him to come talk to me and sit with me. And he got so annoyed and said he was tired and walked away and kept ignoring me even though I was calling for him. But had energy to play on the video game and laugh with friends and play with our dog not even an hour earlier. His response when i called him on that?
“I worked ten hours today. You didnt.”
Am I the asshole, what should I do?
#relarionships#relationship advice#send help#tumblr fyp#relatable#am i the asshole#buck barnes#armando aretas x reader
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IDK man I think the real reason no one likes Blue team or rather no one ever celebrates their wins is cause almost all their wins they got threw exploiting some kind bug or just unfairly killing people. People can say all they want that Tubbo got their kill fair and square but we all know they wernt winning without that kill and I highly doubt they would have gotten said kill without that lag. It dosnt matter who wins or loses in the end its just a game but I think its fair to point out that whenever Blue wins there always some discrepancy that makes them win. Red has also done this once but their other wins they got not out of lags and bugs (the 2nd day was threw exploiting a game feature tho), Green just got beat into the ground cause they always tried to play fair (and again Blue used their crap ping against them for a diffrent win a diffrent day that also felt like a shit win) I switch between all POVs so its not like im biest for Red I just think Blue has gotten nothing but unfair wins and thats why no one likes them. I do get that their like "unlucky" but I dont know man I dont think I want to watch a bunch of people cheese an event just cause they wanna win so bad. Seems like cheating a win and that dosnt feel satisfying :/ like if they had gotten that win without killing a lagged out player id feel better about it.
Sorry but when Red stole the Green's NPC and killed El Quackity all by himself multiple times getting their first win, everyone was celebrating and saying they were allowed to do any dirty tactic because they deserved. Blue never got this treatment.
Their win yesterday was fair, but people started making up shit like metagaming and rule breaking to make it as if they only could win through cheating. And every single accusation was a lie, which just shows it's all about people being sore losers not about caring what's fair.
As Aypierre said "We win as a fraud, or die villains".
Also, it shows you clearly didn't see any stream post-event. Tubbo, Etoiles, Roier, and Cellbit went to a PvP practice server and kept dueling each other all night. Tubbo won a lot of fights against Roier. He won a lot of duels against Etoiles too. And that's where they have their equipment evenly matched. Roier's helmet was broken in his fight against Tubbo. Tubbo had a very big chance to with regardless if he had lag.
And why are you blaming Blue for the fact that Red logged in even though they didn't need to? All they needed was a kill and Red could have just left them, there was nothing that they could do. Roier was the one that decided to take the risk with his bad connection and fight. Why are you blaming Tubbo for Roier having lag?
Don't you feel not even a little ashamed?
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edit: if anyone saw a post where i was being all depressed because i lost the post i was working on. turns out tumblr did post it but my sleep deprived brain didnt think to check my posts !??! thats my bad
i make poor decisions when its late and i really shouldnt be playing gacha games because i get more impulsive then i usually am but also outside of 'i really want halloween riddle' i and someone else were praying for each others pulls (we both wanted riddle) and were gonna stay up until it did the daily reset to immediately start pulling so here i am (if you've seen my other posts you should know that it was also like this in HSR that I pulled Jade even though I didn't have an erudition built and didnt really want her but tired me thought ..what if i pulled and then i got her and then i didnt have pulls for jiaoqiu)
Result is, Halloween Rook (30 pulls) Halloween Riddle (60 pulls) and then since I was already there I decided to pull until 100 where I got Halloween Silver (100 pulls) its a good haul👍 but also rip all my pull savings. but also now i have all the cards i ever wanted (riddle as a fav and silver cause when i first started and looked at everyones card art his halloween one was really pretty) so like. this is good with me 🤷
anyway the only card remaining on my like. wish list(???) i guess is like. next main story card. erRr JP SpoiLeRS but Sebek Armor of Eternal Night or something like that. cause General Lilia duos with Sebek. but honestly not that big a deal sometimes i find dorm uniform sebek's as peoples support card
but thats less a want want and more i want him to make my cards strong instead of i just want to pull them i probably wont use them but like i want them (i probably will use them in the future but i need to build my main team first 💀)
in any case i do like sebek but also idk man
like. i set a bunch of goals of stuff i really wanted to do as a twst player when first starting which was really a bunch of ideals (like it didnt really seem possible and i figured id have to settle for less?) but like
i wanted halloween riddle and silver general lilia tropical wear riddle i got all of them
also i wanted to get every riddle card cause ppl were doing it for the favorites and i really liked riddle. so i got his birthday bloom. i do NOT have his other birthday cards because ooh boy i do not have the funds for that im perfectly content with my birthday bloom, one ssr at a time please. but so im content with that, still marking it was ok since tbh i dont really expect to get them all since i usually play f2p and also even i got all of them wtf do i do with them ???? but so check anyways for birthday bloom. but also besides that i literally got him in the first ten pull TWICE so like. i feel like that should count ?? cause that was stupid crazy luck 😭
and i wanted two dorm uniform cards who duo'd off of each other so i could have like two of them in one turn and it does the satisfying double duo thing when it switches between them attacking
which i can do. because i got dorm riddle when i first started, and i got dorm azul a bit ago who im working on getting the books for. so i can do that too.
and then i also wanted to be the kind of player who had a bunch of strong cards built that i could switch between a bunch of them for battles. which i do i just need to build them.
so its like.
??? idk what to do now
i yapped a lot more than i thought i would
um.
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What’s the overall plot for your music box take?
turns around slowly. im so glad you asked........
BASICALLY tldr its mtmb if it fit into the lm universe, so imagine alice's mansion with minibosses and keys etc, except theres parts where youd play as mario trying to find out how to beat alice while luigi tries to catch up to them. AKA mtmb if it was tamer and under nintendos watch (mostly)
now the longer explanation. like a step by step of the plot in my brain:
lm mtmb is, as mentioned, an au i guess? of mtmb where the initial concept of 'mansion with ghost in a music box who possesses mario', except with far less dark themes to keep in the 'vibe' of the luigis mansion games. mario finds the music box, winds it up (because he's the first to die in any horror movie ever), accidentally releases alice who is incidentally connected to him since hes the one who released her (though partially). more explanation to the connection to mario later
so alice freaks out after being free, realizes mario essentially has her cage in his grasp, queue chase scene up to the second floor, at which she catches him and realizes she can possess him and break the music box to free herself. she realizes the music box is basically indestructible, and after some contemplation realizes she can use it to trap others instead of herself. and even better AGAIN, having possessed mario she can see through his memories vaguely and realizes hes got connections to a princess!! and she LOVES a lavish life. so she decides not only does she want to be free, she wants to use marios body to escape the mansion, overthrow the mushroom kingdom, and reign as queen so she can basically be pampered and spoiled.
she can only possess mario and/or be out of the music box for a short amount of time, and then will need to sing/play the music box from within it, in order to 'recharge'. this often gives marios location away when hes hiding from alice's minions, the other ghosts in the mansion. mario's half of the story relies on a run and hide and dodge kind of gameplay rather than luigi's usual attack head-on gameplay in lm games.
then luigi is sent over because the mushroom kingdom realizes they sent the guy who got captured by ghosts several times over to an abandoned mansion, and yes, luigi brings the poltergeist. he goes through a normal lm first floor experience, then when he gets to f2 he confronts alice who is in the midst of possessing mario. luigi is unable to use his poltergeist on alice in time before she sends ghosts to stall luigi while she runs forward in the mansion, and this routine continues through the story.
mario works on hiding from ghosts and researching the music box through the house much like in the original game, and luigi works on making his way through alice's forces and catching up with them. alice is desperately trying to find out how she can reverse the music box and use it to trap others whenever she can possess mario or just appear outside the box.
final battle is on the roof, alice reveals that shes possessing mario to luigis complete LACK of surprise. the glowing eyes and mouth gave it away, alice. luigi has to dodge beams of music from the box, as well as avoid damaging mario when alice hops out of his body. a very precision based boss fight, id like to imagine
at the end of the day, luigi weakens alice enough to grab the music box and seal her back inside of it, then settles to take it to egadd for safe-keeping so some guy doesnt. idk.. wind up a creepy music box in a lone room without reason. who who do that right mario. Mario
as for alice's backstory, she was wealthy and from a noble family, but not necessarily royalty. and she loved to sing! but when she moved into her new mansion, it ended up being haunted, primarily by riba. riba complimented her voice and promised to immortalize her in music forever, which alice took to a promise of fame, and happily followed rita's plans, only to realize he was leading her into a trap.
riba traps alice's spirit in the music box, taking 'immortalizing in music' quite literally, and then possesses her empty body and runs off- they never see each other again.
riba mainly has a small part in the story because i feel like he never fit in too well with mtmb to begin with?? like hes an immortal demon or whatever but also marios gay lover???? something something chicken farm IDK. i feel like he serves better as a vague villain that was the catalyst to the current villain u know?
ANYWAYS. yea thats lm mtmb xoxo
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game brought tp you by a tag from the wonderful @hackercult ^-^
favorite color: yellow i think its so lovely especially when it gets to hang out with other warm colors like red and orange and. well those are all the warm colors. but pink is pretty cool too
currently reading: been taking a break from reading while i get settled in and find a job so uh. indeed job postings
currently watching: the great big beautiful world pass me by
last song: boys dont cry by the cure. i put my songs on shuffle so the last real song i decided to listen to is the times they are a-changin' because i made a joke while playing vic3 with a friend and remembered the song so i listened to it. im brave enough to admit it.
currently cravin: pizza, burgers, and fried chicken. ive mostly been eating thai and pb&j type food lately so im actually growing reminicstnt of the stuff. but more than any of that i want money <3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333
coffeeee or teaaa: coffee id love to be a tea girl but idk i never put in the effort to make the switch. but i like coffee still dont like black coffee but with a little milk and maybe some sugar its pretty good. especially if you use a french press instead of just drip coffee
hobby i wanna try: music band. ive wanted to be part of a band since i was like 8 lol never happened but ill still keep writing shitty songs. also translation i think it would be so fun to like. figure that out though im not good enough at any language to really try more than a few sentences. and lastly streaming i hardly ever play videogames unless its for an audience on account of its the only way i ever played videogames with my siblings growing up so i wanna do that
tagging @yuriyakuza @numetaljackdog @plushri GO MY TAG GAME MINIONS KILL
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hi hi!! could i please have a matchup for obey me ? u can call me rio, i go by she/he and im bisexual ^^ i dont mind being matched up with a guy or a girl (theres only one girl anyway,,) . i love love LOVE space, sleeping, sonic, hatsune miku, and pokemon. as for dislikes, i hate allergies, bugs, and the dark (my ass is TERRIFIED of the dark). i like playing games and watching movies in my free time, my favorite aesthetic would have to be cottagecore or something of the like. i have long, curly brown hair, blue-ish eyes, i wear glasses and im unfortunately 5'3. idk my mbti but my friends always tell me im funny and kinda unhinged. my dream birthday present would be a miku figurine (im broke n desperate some1 hmu prettu please,,,). id say my love language is physical touch and some of my current favorite songs are its a wonderful cat life, from the start, rabbit hole, and escape from the city !
thank youu !! :3 damn i wrote a whole paragraph 😭
— matchup —
if you'd want a matchup too, make sure to check out this! link
i match you with...
Belphegor!
★ okay so.. i can see it, okay? not just because you like sleeping- i mean that too BUT-
★ your love language is physical touch, and i think Belphie wouldn't mind it at all. in fact, he'd love to always be near you in one way or another; holding your hand under the table, leaning his head against your shoulder, rubbing your back. besides.. we all know that Belphie loves hugs
★ his favourite type of date would obviously be a napping date, let's be honest. but now he can't imagine falling asleep without holding you
★ when you first mention your interests to him, he says he loves the same things, but the second you're gone he rushes to Levi for explanation (Levi would love Miku, let's be honest here)
★ speaking of Levi, you two would sneak into his room when he's not around, cause who else has this big variety of video games/dvds?? it was meant to be a secret, but then you two fell asleep on the floor in his room and Leviathan caught you:)
★ i'm pretty sure he would take your glasses off a lot because "he wants to see your eyes better", or try your glasses on and asking if it suits him!
★ you said you're scared of the dark [i feel you on this one] and i think Belphie would make it his mission to make you comfortable. he doesn't mind turning on the lights for you, he will happily reassure and comfort you whenever you feel unsafe (even though he will complain a bit at first. but don't worry, he doesn't mean it)
★ honestly for some reason i feel like Belphie would hate bugs too, so if you see one in your room, he's the last person you'd want to call for help, he'd just run away and make you deal with it alone
★ he would threaten Levi to go buy that Miku figurine for you 😭
★ laying in the grass together and watching the stars at least once a month is a must!
hey, this is my first ever matchup, so i hope it's okay! when i read your request, my first thought was belphie! i also considered levi, but i think belphie fits more:3
thank you for requesting! have a nice day<3
#obey me#obey me x reader#matchups#matchup#anime#obey me belphegor#obey me belphie#matchup obey me#obey me matchup#obey me lucifer#obey me simeon#obey me satan#obey me fluff#om! simeon#om! belphie#belphie x reader
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HEY BUDDY :D !!! lion, maine coon, american shorthair, tiger, cougar, and fishing cat !!
HIIII!!! 👾
This is so many omg
Lion - I'm probably most proud of how far I've come over the last few years, I went through a lot and am still learning to live with some of it. It's definitely shaped a bit of who I am now, but I'd like to think I have grown from it and carried it with me rather than living in that dump forever :) AND MY FRIENDS IM SO SO SO PROUD OF THEM AND HOW MUCH THEY'VE DONE AND I WISH THE BEST FOR ALL OF YOU :((
Maine Coon - Honestly I'm not too sure how others would describe me, or even how to encapsulate my personality into one word--I'd like to say I'm energetic but I also have my moments of not being as much, I'm nice but I know I can be a bitch, I'm a lot of things but I'm really unsure of what word could describe me, plus I don't remember any good descriptive words rn :') (I'm so tired)
American Shorthair - I have many things that comfort me, id say my friends are my biggest comfort, as cheesy as it is. My friends remind me I'm not alone and have reasons to keep going, even when it feels impossible. I also often tend to latch onto games and streamers/YouTubers for comfort (a big one is hermitcraft!! :D), many of the people I watch now are people who practically raised me and I love them dearly. Another few smaller things that I find help comfort me are things like music, tea, or small things like animals (my cat!!!) or stuffed animals :3
Tiger - Another one that I'm not entirely sure how to answer :( "Being cute and being mine" -☀️ I think I went through the 5 stages of grief trying to come up with something that's all you're getting, oh yeah and my worst is probably the fact that I'm indecisive or like impulsive idk
Cougar - Hehehe fandoms 😇 Definitely undertale, fnaf, and sanders sides in the later years. I was (unfortunately) an aphmau kid back in 2015 but that was more watching her content and less fandom stuff. The undertale and fnaf ones definitely didn't ever stop, I got really into sans aus back during covid and relied on all three of those fandoms for comfort during the quarantine too. Sanders sides definitely helped me over the years before and during covid, it was definitely a rough time in my life as I was learning new things about myself and others around me, and it helped me so much with learning how to be me and accept myself as I am. As for a fandom I'm really active in now, id say the one I'm most active in is Hermitcraft (so surprising!!! 🙀) I got super into it back in season 6 when grian joined because I watched his content before he joined, and now I watch most of the hermits, I do tend to focus on a few each season while watching the occasional stream/video from the others though! I also listen to the imp & skizz podcast, and I find it rather comforting when I'm stressed, I love the hermits so much and they've definitely helped me so much without even knowing :) (and the fandom is so silly I love everyone)
Fishing Cat - I have so many I'm definitely going to forget some, I love learning new things and it's led to many hobbies that I do and will probably get back into in the future! :) I do crochet, it's something I have been learning since I was really young but couldn't get the hang of it for the longest time because my mom had a hard time teaching me it since she's left handed, I love reading, I read all kinds of things from old novels & poetry, romance and mystery, to nonfiction and sci-fi, I enjoy reading anything as long as it can keep my interest, and I loveee getting reccomended books (even though my to-be-read list is SO long), I like small crafts like jewelry making but it hurts my hands (especially the more intricate ones like fancy necklaces, bracelets, earrings), i love gaming, its a big part of who I am seeing as I grew up doing it, and even though i dont it as much anymore I still enjoy it and love playing games with my friends!! I enjoy drawing, but it's stressful because I'm not great at it and am way too perfectionistic over it. I used to paint but I never got too good at it and never had proper supplies, it was very fun though and I'd definitely get back into it sometime down the line. I listen to a lot of music, and watch youtubers/streamers. I like to go on walks, but with some of my health issues I don't go on them as often (I definitely will do more this summer though!!) and hanging out with my friends and animals. I plan on getting into sewing and possibly cosplay sometime so that will be fun to learn! I love creative hobbies, despite how stressful they can be when they don't go how I wanted it to :) I love seeing things I'm able to make evolve and get better and I get better at doing it, and I love consuming information and seeing people be people!!
I'm so sorry this is a lot of yapping even for me 😭
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