#idk if i'll ever finish it animation is hard
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WIP for an idea that basically came to me in a vision where it's like a platformer game but with Kira jumping off the Empok Nor balcony onto Dukat's head like she does in S7 E9 Covenant and the pills he gave everyone spill out of him like when you lose all your rings in sonic
#ds9#kira nerys#kira is actually my favourite#pixel art#pixel animation#idk if i'll ever finish it animation is hard#i would take a bullet for kira nerys no questions asked#star trek fanart
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Fantasic yes thank you @mt07131 It should be noted I am taking the hottest bubble bath of my entire life while I'm typing this and my skin is the color of Mr Krabs. (these are all cheeses that I have had before so my opinion of each is extremely biased)
We're starting with Neve. I know what you're thinking 'our dear detective has a food pyramid made solely out of the menu of a back alley chippy, obviously she's Kraft cheese or cheese whiz' and you are incorrect. Sit on the floor beside me while I take my bubble bath, we're going on a cheese discovery hand in soapy hand
Neve is specifically a combination of the two cheeses that are in these bad boys that you can find at Walmart for $15. With enough coffee and distractions you can live off these for an entire week. Each piece of cheese is about the size of a quarter, they're powdery, they don't melt well, and the only reason it's in your fridge is that someone brought it to the potluck and no one else ate any of it. We're ignoring the rest of the platter this is only about cheese.
Harding is a fried halloumi stick. It's squeaky cheese that is sooo good when it's melted and somehow still in stick form. The first time an only time I’ve had it was when I lived in the UK. A little cheeky Nandos with Harding? Come on now she's the one suggesting it. This woman eats ham and jam slams, she's eating cold hallumi (bad salty brick ew ew nasty), Taash's first complaint if they ever lived together that would be that they could hear her eating the leftovers right out of the fridge at 3am cause it's squeaking so damn loud while she's chewing
Bellara is the giant babybel. Pictures don't do it justice and the absolute glee of taking off the little jacket before you bite into it like a peach? Undescribable. There's not a doubt in my mind that this woman would collect the wax and leave it in a clump on her bookshelf where she would repeatedly tell you she's gonna do something with it. And yet it grows ever larger with every giant babybel. She's the small ones too but those are somehow worse because she just eats the entire bag of them the second she gets home (not that I do that every time or anything haha dont look in my trash rn)
Davrin is, without a doubt, apple smoked cheddar either from Wisconsin or Lancashire, there's no in between. Once this cheese is in your life you will be fundamentally changed as a person and you can never go back to the way you were. No other cheese holds the same richness and warmth as apple smoked cheddar (either from Wisconsin or Lancashire) It has like this sweetness from the milk in it that's balanced out with the smokiness of paprika. Davrin's bringing this to the cookout and you're going to thank him for putting it on your burger at least four times
Lucanis is Fulvi Pecorino Romano (yes it is Italian why do you ask) This is some of the most expensive cheese I've ever had which is perfect for the man who's offering to pay Harding 6,000 gold to stand around while he kills somebody and then asks if that's too low of an amount when she's speechless. This Romano is made from milk taken from a single herd of sheep that live just outside the city of Rome. It's got this a grainy, crumbly texture that I don't think I'll have anything like again. (I had it at a preview night for this movie I worked on for redacted, I think there was caviar there too it was insane)
Emmrich my sweet vegetarian (and vegan? idk) is Climax Blue cheese. It's plant-based blue cheese, streaked with a natural and flavorful blue-green veining. It is well-rounded, with a creamy, fudgy texture, and with fruity and earthy notes balanced by a warm peppery finish. It's made out of coconut milk instead of animal milk and it's got pumpkin seeds in it somehow. I'm not vegan but my best friend is and she brought me this one time from her work and I ate it all in about 20 minutes. Excellent with wine and those really thin tiny crackers, makes you feel the good kind of fancy
Taash is ghost pepper and fried onion cheddar cheese. Never been hurt by food the way I was hurt the second this touched my tongue. And the cool thing about it is it's also dairy free, and substitutes milk with hemp. The heat from the ghost peppers builds and mingles with the burst from the fried onions and each wheel is aged in a cheese specific cave before it's packaged. It also has that good glowy classic melty cheese flow when it gets hot. If you're like me and you are white people spicy smelling this alone will hurt you
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#taash#emmrich volkarin#davrin#lucanis dellamorte#bellara lutare#lace harding#neve gallus#oh ive been in the bath for a while i feel like a hairless cat's armpit
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Ok, so this is the wall, in my bedroom which consists of many many fandoms or just topics I have grown to enjoy over time. A couple are outdated considering now, but they were pretty special to me when painting it. The wall was finished in 2023 on June 15.
Many were made by printing the logos/designs on my printer, tracing the backs really hard in a pencil, and then firmly pressing each design onto the wall so I had a stencil of what I was coloring in. Many are just designs I found on the internet at the time and others are just logos or things I thought would be a good symbol for said fixation at the time.
Did I want it to look different at the beginning? Yes, originally it was going to be the symbols or main characters in one big collage but I realized that I have zero art skills and it wouldn't ever be accomplished so I made the design more simple and now I really like how it turned out.
Do I wish a few were different now because of time or lack of interest? Yes and no. Yes, because I either don't like a certain topic at all anymore or I just could have something that I think represents me more on there but for right now I'm okay with how it is. No, because I look at this wall every day of my life, and seeing a certain square can remind me of a specific time in my life that I really enjoyed and I love that feeling.
Do I think that some of the squares are a little cringe now over time and how I have changed as a person? Absolutely but I could never ever get myself to get rid of those ones because they might be looked upon as weird or cringe now but at the time they helped me get through so many tough times that I can't get myself to get rid of those.
A few of these squares will definitely be changed but at least 97% of them I love seeing every day because of the memories and good times. I love my wall and it represents what I've liked over the years and that's okay. You should be able to like what you want without being criticized for it, hell I've debated posting this because I was scared that people were going laugh at the things on there but to be honest? Let me laugh with you as I remember how that square I cringe on now or how that square I would defend with my life. Just be you, that's all.
What are the fixations that are on the wall, and do I still want them there? I'll tell ya starting from the top right corner.
863 - Youtube series (Keep)
Five Nights at Freddy's - Video game series (Keep)
Amphibia - Animated TV show (Keep)
Amulet - Graphic novel sereis (Keep)
Arcane - Animated TV show (Keep)
Bendy and The Ink Machine - Video game series (Keep)
Brooklyn 99 - TV show (Keep)
Carmen Sandiego - Animated TV show (Keep)
Chuckle Sandwich - Podcast (Keep)
Cuphead - Video Game (Keep)
DanTDM - Youtuber (Keep)
Compass South - Graphic Novel series (Keep)
Detroit Become Human - Video Game (Keep)
The Last of Us - Video Game series/TV show (Keep)
The Dragon Prince - Animated TV show (Keep)
Mandela Catalogs - Analog Horror series (Keep)
DreamSMP - Youtube/ Minecraft server (Depends, I always look back now and cringe at myself but then I remember how it was at the time and how it felt to me at the time. Probably keep though just because of how it got me through Covid and just a rough spot in general)
Droid - Youtuber (Keep)
Eddsworld - Youtube series (Keep)
Flash - I watched the TV show (Keep)
Harry Potter - Books/Movies (I honestly like Fantastic Beats movie spinoff more than the main books/movies. Idk why but this one might change over time or it'll stay, haven't really decided that yet, maybe)
Henry Danger - TV show (Keep)
Hilda - Animated TV show (Keep)
How to Train Your Dragon - Movies/Books/TV Show (Keep)
Infinity Train - Animated TV show (Keep)
Jurrasic Park - Movies/Books (Keep)
The Group Chat - Youtube group/Podcast (Keep)
Last Kids on Earth - Books/TV show (Keep)
Lucifer - TV show (Most likely change)
Marvel (Keep)
Merlin - TV show (Keep)
Minecraft - Video Game (Keep)
Star Wars - Movies/TV shows/books/etc. (Keep)
Ninjago - Animated TV show (Keep)
The Owl House - Animated TV Show (Keep)
Percy Jackson - Books/TV show/Movies (Keep)
Pokemon - Video game series, etc. (I really don't know why I put this on here, I was never a really big fan other than owning the cards so will probably change)
Sam and Colby - Youtubers (Keep)
The Walten Files - Analog Horror series (Keep)
Space Boy - Webtoon but I found it through the graphic novels (Keep)
Spongebob - Animated TV show (Keep)
Steven Universe - Animated TV show (Keep)
Stranger Things - TV show (Keep)
Subnautica - Video Game series (Keep)
Treasure Planet - Animated Movie (Keep)
Umbrella Acadamy - TV Show (Keep)
Voltron - Animated TV Show (Probably change because I never really got into it but binged it with my sister, liked it but not love)
Wings of Fire - Books/Graphic Novels (Keep)
Things I would want on the wall now
Transformers
Multiple Analog Horror series
Portal games (Though I painted my closet doors portal themed so I think it cancels out)
maybe some music albums but I have something like that in my room already
The Magnus Protocol
ONG might put Ao3 on there tbh
Some absolute BANGER webtoons
Some more recent YouTube series, animated of course
Over the garden wall was literally a fever dream but I loved it
OH lab rats and Mightty med I grew UP on those
Gravity Falls
More that I can't think of rn
Okay wow um I don't usually post this big but I really like my wall and just wanted to share it. Maybe I'll post some more stuff about my room that I like just because I'm proud of it.
Part 1(This one), Part 2
#My wall lmao#how tf do i tag this#okay uh wait I got it#This is gonna be a lot but bare with me#project 863#fnaf#amphibia#amulet series#arcane#bendy and the ink machine#brooklyn 99#carmen sandiego#chuckle sandwich#cuphead#dantdm#compass south#detroit become human#last of us#dragon prince#the mandela catalogue#dream smp#droid#eddsworld#the flash#harry potter#henry danger#hilda#how to train your dragon#infinity train#jurrasic park
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🖤 weekly tag wednesday 🖤
hiiii, pocket friends <3 thanks for tagging me @jrooc @michellemisfit
Name and A03 handle: doshi, snifsnufkin
Current Location: clip studio paint
Favorite picrew (don't have one? you can skip this or do this one)?
there was my top 1 favs ♡ poicon maker ♡ by poika, but i found out that it's removed (deleted or private) 😭
i love a lots...
picrew // picrew // picrew // picrew // picrew // picrew // picrew
What's one thing you want in a picrew?
most likely none of you know that it will soon be a year since i released my own picrew and so after that, i can't be picky and upset anymore if i didn't find the right hairs for me hahaha
i won't say what I WANT, but i love having a choice of cute animals!
and speaking of! hehehe, i'll note every thing you'll write there!!! because now i'm doing a new picrew maker rn and i say nothing 🤭
Favourite thing you’ve created (or seen created) for the fandom?
i love this drawing sm
Why is it your favourite? something in the vibe, dark, tension, colors. maybe especially because it's a scene from the fic and i think it shows their tension quite well?
Did it come easily or was it hard to create? no, at the beginning i didn't get the perspective i wanted, i was interested in this angle with the mirror reflection and was upset when things went wrong because in my head it was perfect lol so i just redrew it
Last ao3 fic you commented on? Workhouse Rock and A Song Only You Can Hear by Deena @suzy-queued I've kinda settled into her page
Biggest WIP heartache you’ve ever experienced?
idk, probably Your Question Has Been Received by Macy @celestialmickey but i like the way it stopped on their meet and kiss, and also i know that Macy wants to get back to it one day, so it's not exactly a heartache
Favorite trope or head cannon you like included in a fanfic?
slowburn and mutual pining for sure! i love the delving into Ian's bipolar, the emotions and the versions of his depressing episodes hit me all the time. the last time i cried over this was in The Menagerie by @crossmydna
Least favourite? a/b/o. when things happen too fast (i really love slowburn... give me a fic where they didn't kiss until the last chapters and i'll eat it *says hi to Deena and ULAK boys*)
Secret or surprising kink or trope? i have cymbals monkeys in my head not in a kink way of course,,,,
Describe how you feel after you’ve created something new?
i can finally get a good sleep,,,, i'm dying to share it with you!
Top hype man you have that always helps you get across the finish line: all of you <3
It's been a bad day, you turn to the fandom and you _____?
i'm falling into fics
tagging @suzy-queued @lingy910y @burninface @mybrainismelted @creepkinginc
@celestialmickey @sickness-health-all-that-shit @crossmydna @heymrspatel @gallawitchxx
@energievie @blue-disco-lights @thepupperino @vintagelacerosette @gallapiech
@roryonic @spookygingerr @deathclassic @sgtmickeyslaughter @nymacron 🖤🖤🖤
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A Retrospective Analysis on Touhou 17
So it's finally here, and even though I know for a fact that I am not going to be able to get the Keiki drawing done by this time (I'm having trouble with the eyes, for some reason it's always that aspect of drawing her that's difficult for me, I can never really capture the essence of her character no matter what I do) I still wanted to post something about this game today since it's the game's 5 year anniversary. I have a lot of thoughts on it, and my views on the game have changed quite a lot throughout my time being a Touhou fan. This is going to be very long so I'll put the rest under the keep reading tag.
So for some background, Touhou 17 was the first Touhou game I ever played, I got into the series during 2021 shortly after my Hunter X Hunter phase ended (since the manga was still on hiatus at the time) and I remember playing 17 during that time as well. I'm pretty sure that the reason I played it was because of that one nitirushh animation where Keiki disses the animal spirits so hard that they die (still my favourite fan-depection of Keiki tbh, it's just really funny to me) and that set my interest in the game itself. It was also the newest Touhou game at the time and none of the other games interested me as much. Then I actually played the game and at the time I found it insanely fun. I remember feeling so excited playing the stage 1 of the game and thinking to myself "Holy shit I'm actually playing a Touhou game" and having a lot of fun with it. Even though the game itself is the easiest out of all the Touhou games, it was still a challenge for me at the time since I had never played a bullet Hell before. For this reason, the game as a whole struck a chord with me. Funny Touhou animation aside, I don't know if it was because I had only recently gotten out of my Hunter X Hunter phase after finishing the whole 2011 version of the anime and had caught up with the manga during 2020, but maybe some aspect of 17 kinda scratched a similar itch in my brain and it really stuck with me IDK.
As for what I think of the game itself now.... gameplay wise, it could be better, it's still fun but there was so much potential for the game to tell it's story through the medium it chose to present itself in. Why did we not have more similarities between Eika and Keiki's danmaku styles to show their connection? Why did we not have a moment similar to what happened in TD during the final boss fight where Mayumi comes back in to take over during the fight in a last ditch effort to protect Keiki? It's the final boss so go all out! The animal spirits could also be balanced a lot better as well, especially with Youmu becoming incredibly overpowered with the wolf spirit, and visibility is a bit of a problem in this game. Some of the tracks could use a bit more polish too, I commend ZUN for being experimental with his newer tracks but the stage 3 theme and staff roll theme are both kinda eh, and while the boss themes have a lot of good punch to them and can be really good, it still feels like some extra spice could've been added to really make them stand out (which is why I love the theme remixes Saki and Yachie got in Touhou 19). I also wish the Animal Realm got explained better within the lore of the series, mainly because it raises a lot of questions about how Hell was founded and it kinda needlessly complicates things. I would've rather it be introduced as it's own region of Hell rather than being a separate thing entirely that just so happens to be located next to it. I also wish that we got more stuff with this setting that explains how it connects to the rest of the worldbuilding a lot more, I definitely feel like actually having it explained more in the mangas would definitely help to make it feel less convuluted, but unfortunately the closest we're getting are cameos in Lotus Eaters and very brief mentions of the games themselves. I still like the game though, as I've mentioned I do love a lot of the music and I love all the characters we got introduced to in this game. I've been appreciating Eika a lot more recently, I do like Urumi but she's neat and I like her design a lot, Kutaka is a fucking shithead who kept FUCKING UP MY 1CCS IN BOTH 17 AND 17.5 THE FUCKING BITCH- who is very funny and I love seeing more insight into Hell's management. Yachie's great and I find her relationships to the other characters in this game very interesting, Mayumi is awesome and the more I think about her the more I like her, and I love how Saki contrasts Yachie in her strategies. That being she has no strategy and just goes "fuck it, we ball" with no hesitation lmao.
I'm pretty sure you all noticed the absence of one character in particular, that being Keiki. I've made it no secret on this blog that Keiki is my favourite Touhou character, and a lot of that is because of her role as an antagonist in Touhou 17. I always found it really fascinating how ZUN created her as an allegory for AI (I don't know if Apollo just randomly blessed him with the gift of prophecy because MAN does that statement hit harder now more than ever) and the fact that she's portrayed as a very morally grey character in the game itself and Reimu's reaction to her, stating that she can see an "evil aura" in Keiki. I've already talked a lot about Keiki on this blog and I don't know what there is that I haven't said, but I wanted to start off with her because it ties into a big part of why I still find this game's story interesting. That main aspect being it's parallels to Gensokyo and Touhou's overarching them of humanity's relationship with nature.
So to step back from 17 for a second, I feel like we should look at what the Youkai represent in the story. Youkai in Touhou are created from humanity's fear, and back before science was able to properly explain anything, this fear very often manifested into a fear of nature. Natural disasters would end up wiping out villages, dangerous animals would often lurk in forests and end up killing anyone who would go in them. Overall nature isn't very kind to humanity, and humanity knows this. This is why humanity would often try and find reasons as to why these things would happen. This brings us back to the Youkai in Touhou who are the embodiment of the unexplainable. In manga like Forbidden Scrollery and Lotus Eaters, we often see how the humans in the human village are at the mercy of these Youkai, the only reason that they aren't being slaughtered is entirely for their own benefit so they don't run out of resources. The only hope the humans in the village really have is to turn to the gods, another product of man's desire to explain the unexplainable, to potentially save them. The survival of the people in the human village will always be in the hands of beings beyond their comprehension. No matter what, humanity will always be at the mercy of nature.
Coming back to Touhou 17, we can see that the relationship between the human and beast spirits isn't exactly.... pleasant. The beast spirits all see the human spirits as slaves essentially and they gain strength from their torment. The only way that the human spirits are even able to stand a chance against them is to submit themselves to a god and pray for their protection. And even then there's no way in Hell that they're getting out of this situation since the god they're praying to views them the same way as the animal spirits (whether they are aware of it or not).
So if you haven't noticed by my word choice, there are quite a lot of similarities here with the dynamics of the Animal realm and Gensokyo. That's not even mentioning the fact that in both places we have at least 3 different parties fighting over control of the humans, whether it be animal spirits or Youkai. Hell, this race for power in Gensokyo is a plot point in Lotus Eaters and Forbidden Scrollery, so it's not like this is a new concept for the series to explore either.
There's also something to be said about how Keiki and the technology she brings with her are seen as a threat to the order of the animal realm. Throughout human history, humanity's creativity and ingenuity have always been major factors in our survival as a species. We created tools to use the nature around us and make it work to our advantage, we created weapons to more efficiently hunt and find food to survive, and we created art and literature to document our histories and make sense of the world. Going back to 17, Keiki is the epitome of humanity's evolution and creativity and she is the one who responded to the human's cries for salvation. Another thing to think about is that in Gensokyo, the best the villagers are going to get in terms of technology are old computers that are very limited in their use, and even then barely anyone will have any idea how to use them. The reason that Gensokyo even exists in the first place is to preserve the Youkai and Gods that would become forgotten by humanity's technological advancement. In both of these places, technological advancement is seen as a threat to the natural order and must be suppressed at all costs.
Of course in Gensokyo it isn't as extreme as the animal realm. The Kappa, the Tengu, and even gods like Kanako are all quite technologically advanced and/or are introducing new technologies to Gensokyo (those are just the ones I could list off the top of my head, but please tell me if there are more that I forgot). But here's the interesting thing, notice how none of the examples I listed there were humans. The only way for the humans of Gensokyo to have these technologies introduced to them is if the powers that be, nature, let them have those technologies. Going back to the animal realm, even after Keiki is defeated we can see that the beast spirits are still using the technologies she (most likely) introduced, i.e. that one chapter in Lotus Eaters where one of the otter spirits introduced what is essentially a GameBoy to the Kappa and Nitori saying stuff like, "oh yeah the animal realm is actually pretty technologically advanced nowadays" as well as that one story in CoLA where Ran and Yachie deal with the AI Sumireko made. Once again, the only times when the use of technology goes unprotested in this series are when it's kept out of the hands of humans and back into the hands of nature. Even when humans are able to fight back and create their own technology, nature will always win in the end, no matter how hard humanity tries to defeat it. The way Touhou 17 ends is indicative of this, with Keiki being defeated and the Animal Realm returning to it's status quo.
However, Gensokyo has never had this kind of issue before.... or so it may seem. Yes there's never been any technological uprising by the human villagers and with the way things are there most likely never will be, but when you take away the potential for technological advancement from humans then the next best thing would be magic. And when humans in Gensokyo use magic to find a way to gain power and be more than just fodder for the Youkai, they end up being punished. This is most prevalent in Forbidden Scrollery when Reimu kills the fortune teller. I don't think I need to go too in depth about this moment since I already did so in my Forbidden Scrollery review but this once again shows a parallel between Gensokyo and the Animal Realm.
So what am I trying to say with all of this? I've been bringing up a lot of the similarities that these two places have but similarities can just be chalked up to coincidences that don't mean anything. What I've been trying to say with this whole thing is that the Animal Realm represents an extreme version of Gensokyo, one where every ugly aspect of it is dialed up to 11 and the law of the strong eating the weak rules all. It's a Gensokyo without a spell card system to level the playing field. I do want to say that I don't believe Gensokyo is a grimdark setting, sure some parts about it are bleaker than others, but there are also many good aspects of Gensokyo that I feel like I should bring up. It's a safe-haven for the forgotten, and if we continue viewing the Youkai and Gods from the lens of both of them being allegories for nature, Gensokyo is a place where nature can fluorish outside of humanity's hands. Unlike the Animal Realm, Gensokyo was never established with the intentions of harming people. Nature is both beautiful and terrifying, and where Gensokyo displays the beautiful sides of nature, the Animal Realm displays all the ugly sides of it. Even then, there is some overlap between the two, Gensokyo does have a nastier side to it and the Animal Realm is a place where nature can exist unrestrained by humanity (even if the place is still a shitshow overall). Now that I think about it, this sort of duality between the two realms is kinda fitting for Touhou, and I can't stress enough that when I say that Gensokyo and the Animal Realm have some parallels I am not trying to say Gensokyo is a grimdark dystopia. Hell even going back into the Lotus Eaters manga, the otter spirit that escaped from the Animal Realm even said that Gensokyo was a better place to live.
So yeah, I don't really have any good way to end this aside from saying happy 5 year anniversary Touhou 17. You are a flawed game but god do I still love you. Oh yeah, and if there's anything I missed or any mistakes I made, please correct me/let me know.
#touhou project#touhou 17#wily beast and weakest creature#keiki haniyasushin#I mention Keiki the most so that's why I'm tagging her in this#text post#東方project
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Legacy superlatives tag game
hello babes I found this really old tag game that was being passed around simblr like almost 10 years ago and I thought it was funky and fun. I brought it back for the legacy girls. I'm tagging some folks who've got a few generations under their belt, so: @beebeesiims @simsandgiggles @natolesims @bearphase @akitasimblr but if you see this n u wanna participate please feel free to!! <3 I will be answering for Nova and Lucky bc they're both done as of October 2024.
Favourite heirs
Nova: HONESTLY I think my 9th generation heiress has officially dethroned Musica from gen. 2, like I genuinely feel like I went out with a bang.
Lucky: I love Iain from gen. 5 okay he's been through a lot. I put old boy through a victorian death trap of a story and he still made it out flaws and all.
more below...
Favourite spouses
Nova: this is really hard but I think it's Neveah from gen. 6 by @lizillasimming. I had genuinely so much fun with her and she even got her own solo adventure like hello? mother
Lucky: OOHHH this is really hard but I love Chen Ruiyang from gen. 4 mainly because he had the most fleshed out story between Magnolia and his generation and also bc he's hot like. yes daddy.
Favourite spares
Nova: hmm I guess I'll hand it to Crow from gen. 3 bc he appeared as a side character in the Luckys too! but then again Soma from gen. 8 is about to be in another save, so it's up in the air.
Lucky: Sara from gen. 3 thank u bye! actually, I loved Ibrahim too; gen 3 kids were just built different
Favorite side characters, if you do story-oriented saves (skip if not)
Nova: ok this save was really inconsistent with story lmfao but I'll hand it to ... idk Lim Shiyeon from gen. 3? she was not a good person but she gave us Delilah at least so.
Lucky: of COURSE it's miss Khadijah Daniel from gen. 3! she ran Finn's office like a naval commander. but I also have to give an honourable mention to Jiang Yuqi from gen. 4 because she's mother.
Mishaps during your legacy
Nova: let's discuss Salem from gen. 7 dying in a glitched out fire that the firefighters refused to save him from!!! damn!!! that shit pissed me off so bad bro
Lucky: umm it's obviously Shaw from gen. 7 fucking DYING BEFORE HIS GENERATION COULD EVEN START OMFGG.....like are u kidding me dawg!!! i had PLANS FOR U!!!!!
fuck man, 7th generations of my legacies are bad omens...
Largest number of children
Nova: oh let's talk about how Jericho and Day-Day from gen. 1 had four kids: TWO sets of twins in a row?!! i actually quit this save for the first time because of that AJDSIOFDSKF
Lucky: Franklin and Bayram from gen. 2 had three, and that's not even counting all their dependent animals. six chickens, two cows, and a llama! and one Sister Elisabeth.
Any surprises
Nova: that I even FINISHED THIS SAVE AT ALL. lmfao. I abandoned it like 3 times dude! but I'm nothing if not stubborn. and also that I ended up really loving my final 9th generation. I can't wait to post that one.
Lucky: that I pulled out all the stops for the story portion of gen. 6? tbh that was the most story for TS4 i'd ever worked on, and it was hard, I won't lie. but rewarding. and I'm terribly satisfied with the results.
Favorite family pet why this is question so low smh.
Nova: aw now come on, it has to be my baby Tango from gen. 4. a little stray that went up to Delilah to ask for a home...and she took him in...I love u Tango...
Lucky: now can this go to anybody but Cake Boss from gen. 4? the immortal dog so iconic she also appeared in TWO Nova generations? like hello?
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I'm having thoughts about "Httyd: The Hidden World" and how incredibly disappointed I feel about it, and how I hate that.
Specifically, how I hate the fact I can't simply enjoy it. I feel envious every time I see someone praise the movie and show genuine love for it, meanwhile I sit here looking at it with utter disappointment and finding it hard to think it as canon.
And I tried to enjoy it, I really did.
I only watched it much recently, not when it came out, with not much memory of the 2 previous movies, and yet I sat there confused and in utter shock of the plot. I can't just sit here and ignore all the worldbuilding it broke, all the morals they fought for in the previous movies that got completely thrown out of the window. And this isn't even including the series (which I am now also watching bc I never got the chance to finish them), the more episodes I watched, the more the 3rd movie just became worse to me with how many things it just threw away.
But again, without the series, it still just doesn't sit right with me.
And I'm not gonna go on a rant about why, bc I think that deserves to be it's own post, or else this one would be way too long for me to type out coherently, I dont wanna focus on that rn (feel free to ask tho I guess).
I watched it with my dad, who was the one who introduced httyd to me (or well, it was one of the random movies that came out at the time that he had us watch since he knew me and my sis liked animated stuff), and he has no recollection of the older movies, and even HE felt put off by it. It just felt so....empty?
Idk
People can enjoy it, I dont wanna take that away from them, but it just sucks. I hate how this movie is the canon for it, how I'll have to sit here and accept that this is how it ended, (imma ignore the future series thank u very much), that not everyone will agree with me that this movie isn't canon and that we can move past it, which they shouldn't, people deserve to have their own opinions ofc. But that I, out of my own stupid will and stubbornness of not being able to move past it, will just sit here in this deep and dark hole of disappointment and no matter how much I claw my fingers on it's walls I wont ever escape to the top of the light.
There are stuff I genuinely enjoy about this movie tho, how they introduced hiccstrid kids, the cute chemistry between them and the lovely flashbacks between Hiccup and his dad. There were some moments I genuinely luaghed at and still do. But it's all attached to a bigger and broken plotline with such disappointing conclusions (take a sip every time I say disappointing).
And yes, there is the "ignore canon choose fanon" line, in which I do follow alot. But here, for some reason, I have such a hard time doing so :(
So yeah, I hate that I can't enjoy the 3rd movie. I hate that I live in constant disappointment for it and there wont be anything I can do about it bc that's how it is, how it ended, the canon.
I'm not here for an argument tho. If you like the movie, than great! Go enjoy it! I'm not stopping you, I'm not trying to invalidate that and sorry if I did come off that way. I personally just have alot of gripes with it and feel kinda alone about it
Just block and move on if this bothers you, I dont wanna upset anyone with this, just need a let out of my frustrations
#i dont often talk about my deep deep feelings over a hyperfixation#I'm still often embarrassed about it#the only one so far is fnaf but that has became my career at this point /hj#but this has been eating me up ever since i started to go back to httyd#i have so many other thoughts about it#and i might make more rants about it too bc i have THOUGHT and OPINIONS that has been eating me alive#and no one to genuinely talk to about it#so imma just scream into the damn void so i can relief the burden of my overtaking mind#httyd#httyd the hidden world#httyd 3#rant#httyd 3 criticism#cake talks
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Hi! I fell at work yesterday and broke my wrist so I was just wondering how the pedro boys would react?
Idk if your requests are open or not but if they aren't, I'm sorry!
✨My Masterlist ✨ / ✨ Send me a prompt ✨
It has been almost a YEAR since I wrote for this blog and I can only apologize for taking so long to get to this (but i did get engaged!)
My requests were indeed open and still are so don't apologize and hope your wrist is OK now ❤️! I'm starting slow so I've picked Joel and Javi but lemme know who else to do - hope you enjoy ✨)
Warnings: Minor description of a broken wrist and relevant care, swearing.
Joel Miller 🐴
You blamed Tommy. Ever since you guys came to his place and settled in, he had you working almost immediately. It started small, little kitchen jobs, which showed how much you hated kitchen work, and ended where you are now - the stables.
Animals were far better than people, great listeners and easy to take care of and you had come to love showing up to see your boys in the morning. You had felt uneasy at first, after being on the road with Joel and Ellie so long, not being with them felt wrong but now, a few months in, you had grown into your own little routine (even if Joel was grumpy with the early morning wake up each morning).
Issue was, while horses were better than people in almost every way, they definitely had the temper of one and after a poorly timed saddle tightening, you found yourself thrown backwards onto the ground after a particularly hard shove from Shimmer's head. Even worse, you hadn't quite landed right and now your right wrist was radiating unimaginable pain.
Joel was going to be pissed.
More annoyed at yourself than anything else you started the walk back to you and Joel's home, wondering how long you can keep a broken wrist secret from the guy before he got suspicious. As you entered you noted his boots by the door and sighed - guess your secret wasn't safe for long.
Hearing the door open, Joel was already making his way towards you. He had been on patrol, you could tell from the mud caking his jeans just below the knee and the few fresh cuts around his hairline and nose. He was looking at you intently, eyes narrowed and surveying your form until he landed at your cradled arm, "What's that then?"
You shrug, trying to make your way past him as nonchalant as possible "Pissed shimmer off with a tight saddle. They just knocked it, i'll be fine."
Joel moved, for a guy so tall and wide you forget how fast he can be and he blocks the entry way, "Show me." You roll your eyes, "Joel, honestly it's nothing, I'm going to shower and th-" his large palm wraps around your lower forearm and you hiss. He grunts, "thought so" He leaves, disappearing into the kitchen and opening drawers. You resign yourself to his care and seat yourself in the living room awaiting his return.
Soon enough, Joel comes back with pressure dressing and medical tape and seats himself beside you, his hair has slightly fallen in front of his face so you push it aside gently with your other hand. His face hints at a smile before adjusting his position and begins wrapping your wrist, "We'll go to the doc after this, just don't want it jostlin' on the way there. No use making it worse." You nod, watching him as he finishes up before he finally looks up to meet your eye and asks softly, "You alright?" You smile, leaning forward to kiss his forehead, his eyes falling closed, "Yeah baby, I'm OK." He exhales, fingers tracing your knee, their heat trailing a path across your skin making you shudder, "Good. Let's get going."
Javier Pena 🥃
Javi is a tough one. This guy works in Columbia, he is no stranger to injuries or injured people and while he cares deeply for those he's close to, he's definitely not one to show it in the moment - especially on the job.
You end up breaking your wrist pretty bad after jumping from the rooftop, so bad in fact you swore you could see the bone underneath the thin skin of your wrist but when you're chasing a wanted criminal through the streets, there isn't really time to slow down and check. You keep running, Javi not far behind you, and as you turn a corner the step down from pavement to road jerks your wrist which rips a pained cry from your throat. Luckily, Steve got a much better head start than you two and you see him deck the guy in the middle of the marketplace, his body flying back with a thud as Steve crows with delight, "You guys see that shit?!"
You're panting, sweat dripping from your forehead (and a lot of other places) as you laugh before gingerly sitting down, curling yourself inward with your wrist balanced across your raised knees. You hear Javi slow behind you, his presence a searing hot shadow across your back, "You OK down there querida?" You shake your head, "Nah, think its broken. Landed pretty rough off that roof a block or so back, didn't want to stop but think i made it worse." You're almost certain the adrenaline coursing through you is making the pain duller so you dread how much this will hurt, "I'll get up in a sec, just need to catch my breath."
You hear muttering but you don't quite catch it as Javi moves away, now walking over to Steve and you can't help but admire the shoulder muscles bunching under his now drenched shirt as he helps move the guy into a car. Once Steve drives off, Javi goes to his own car. He opens the passenger side door, dropping stuff from the seat into the foot well, before making his way back over to you. He checks back over his shoulder and you follow the gaze. You notice he's checking the streets, making sure no one else is wandering around but looks as if all the commotion has faded off - anyone still lurking is going about their own business, unaffected by the events that occurred only a few minutes prior. Seemingly satisfied, Javi turns his attention back to you, offering a hand to help ease you up slowly and you make your way to his car.
You realize he hasn't said anything since he left to talk to Steve, you seat yourself down as he shuts the door and makes his way to the drivers side, "Javi, are you alright? I'm sorry about this but I swear it wont happen again. I just slipped is all and Steve caught the guy so no harm done, right?"
Javi had begun to put the key in the ignition but is now stuck with his hand on it. With the engine idle he asks, "No harm done?" You nod, "Yeah, the guy is on route back to the office, Steve will question him and hopefully we're one step closer to Escobar."
Suddenly, Javi jerks back, body hitting the leather seat behind him as he white knuckles the steering wheel, "No harm done? You broke your fucking wrist. Middle of a goddamn chase and you don't even stop, don't let me know, just keep going head first into fuckin' stupidity probably making it ten times worse by chasing the fucker and then you sit there apologizing like you did something wrong. " He pinches the bridge of his nose, exhaling roughly and fiddling with his breast pocket for a cigarette, "You're reckless and I can't be worrying about you out there, I have to trust you." He's found the cigarette now, lighting up and puffing out the open window, he turns to you and you suck in a breath at the fear in his eyes, "I can't see you hurt sweetheart, you're my goddamn weakness and I can't show that shit to these guys - you understand me?"
You nod, hand coming out to rest on his knee, "Yeah honey, I got you. I'm sorry. I promise to be more careful next time." He stares at you a beat longer, mouth twitching before leaning in to crush his lips on yours. He pulls away, lips brushing your forehead before skirting your wrist in an action too gentle for a man that's killed so many others, "Good."
〜💫〜💫〜💫〜💫〜
Pedro’s thirsty thots tags (hi again guys, ive missed you)
Please let me know if you want to be added or removed <3
@evyiione @rattlethe-stars @asta-lily @ironbabey @woollybantha @tobealostwanderer @mamacitapascal @letterfromvienna @buttercup–bee @kenoobiwan @bastillealmighty @neganwifey25-blog @djarinsbeskar @lovesickmadsadpoet
#pedro pascal#joel miller#javier pena#javier pena x reader#joel miller x reader#joel miller fic#javier pena narcos#javier pena fic#javier pena imagine#joel miller imagine#the last of us fic
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how do you use references when you draw fanart or figure out how to draw irl characters?? it's just that i've been looking through your art and i feel like you ability to capture a character's idk essence, in vibes + appearence, are just unmatched! they're all so dynamic and like them i just <33
aaa thanks so much!! im glad to hear that since i honestly dont watch a ton of live action? i generally have done a lot more fanart for animated things so thats nice to hear haha anyways though!! i have far too many words that may or may not make sense to say so i'll put how i use references and figure out live action characters below
the main rule i like to keep in my head is that i am drawing the character, not the actor, if that makes sense?
this is all taking arthur as an example, to show what kinds of things i look for!! if i were talking about merlin any other live action character like. bobby briggs or something all the details would be super different haha a way i like to familiarize myself with a live action character at first is tracing which i must preface by saying TRACING ISNT BAD!! its a tool and it just needs to be used correctly. tracing is a great way to figure out a method to drawing things, so its really valuable in studying. im not gonna address using tracing in finished artwork rn bc thats where it gets a little dicey and i would talk about it too much.
i dont really need to do this for arthur anymore but it was a fun exercise lmao
sorry the images are so crunchy i always forget i work on small canvases, anyways in capturing a likeness i like to emphasize and exaggerate a little which features make the character most recognizable to me.
he's got a sharp nose which is bumped at the bridge and a little bit upturned at the bottom. when he's smiling his eyes crinkle a lot and his cheek muscle becomes more pronounced and connects into the corner of his mouth
very square jaw. his brows are thicker near the center and don't have much of an arch. his cheeks are hollowed with neutral expression and the muscles on the sides of his mouth (depressor anguli oris, if i remember correctly lol) are obvious when the corners of his mouth are downturned
the corners of his mouth fold in a lot when he bares his teeth if hes angry or agitated, its a different type of fold when hes relaxed or smiling
his masseter is rather pronounced when he's talking or agitated, and i usually connect the line of it to the line that goes down from the inner corner of his eye. i forget what the word for it is rn but its different from eyebags (though i do like to draw eyebags)
but none of these details work if whatever hes doing in the drawing isnt in character, yknow? like he could look like arthur but he wouldnt really feel like arthur if hes not acting like arthur. idk it s hard for me to put to words im sure u get what i mean enough
body shape and language are also super important to think about, these are some things i keep in mind with arthur - hes shredded but not like marvel movie dehydrated shredded (good for him) - hes very broad and his shoulders slope down because of his trapezius muscles - he takes up a lot of space! he hardly ever curls up or sits with his feet up in his chair. even when hes sleeping hes pretty sprawled out - his "closed off" body language is crossing his arms or raising his left hand to twist his index finger ring with his thumb (worried/thinking gesture) - he moves with a lot of purpose usually and isnt often clumsy (unlike merlin lmao) - he moves his shoulders a lot when he walks (see top left image)
honestly think body language is just as important as facial features if not more, for the purpose of creating personality and character
i probably sound like i think way too much about this stuff which i. i kind of do but not in so many words i dont need this many words when its all in my brain. but yeah thats how i figure out how to draw a live action character i guess? anyways this was kind of a mess haha
#ask#anon#i worry a lot about my art not reading correctly as the characters im drawing so its really good to hear that its somewhat working haha#long post#long fucking post!!! god. sorry about that#how i draw
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For the director's cut thing: At the end of Climb up to your lips, you implied Max F and Logan might be A Thing, and I'd love to hear more about that if you want to share ❤️
idk if i'll ever actually finish the logan perspective thing i started writing midway through the main story bc actually when i looked back at it i was like these are really just my own background notes what do you think you are jrr tolk himself you don't have to publish stuff you wrote for your own reference. but hey if there ever was a medium for all your stupid lore and self-fanfic then it surely is a o three dot org (note to old men fantasy writers etc) so maybe i will.
basically the thesis is that logan, like oscar at the start, is lonely and can't get what he wants, which is a boyfriend. both him and oscar have resigned themselves to never being able to reconcile their ambitions in f1 with anything that fulfils them in that way and sort of let their friendship settle as a pseudo-standin where they can hang out and be each other's person to take to things, go to dinner with, whatever and just live in suspended animation until something (???) happens and they get disney prince rescued.
something does happen for girloscar which is that she isn't so much disney prince rescued as like, dragged into a bath by a wet cat. and she can't believe this is happening because she's fancied lando for ages, used to pine at him from the alpine pit wall so much she got caught by otmar once, who mistook it for trying to steal secrets off mclaren and she had to make something up about the front wing.
she's so excited to be teammates with him but also so, so mortified and trying really hard to be normal about it. logan's thrilled to be in f1 at all but also realising that deal he had for fucking about a little bit with some of the f2 guys was just fucking about for them when their girlfriends weren't on the travel budget and definitely won't survive being in different paddocks.
oscar gets lando and logan gets lonelier. at the same time, his season's falling apart and everyone's announcing his career dead before it feels like it's had a chance to start. he has to rely on benny and james and benny starts to, gently, put distance between them to keep it professional, manage logan's expectations. so he clings to james, at the same time as knowing this is probably the worst possible way to try and keep his seat and that it's going nowhere, the team principle not a viable fuckbuddy, let alone anything more.
enter jenson button. hot dad, sympathetic ear, special advisor to williams. whiskey supplier. a man who's there to help you celebrate your first f1 point and certainly isn't going to argue if that involves a bit of fucking your brains out. lovely, sweet, gentle, funny jenson who makes logan feel special and loved and sweeps him up from his flat in london in fancy cars to go to fancier restaurants as though he deserves the champagne.
and then goes home to his wife and kids.
somewhere along the way, hurting during the 2024 season, logan has to break it off. he wants what oscar and lando have, not this. it was glamorous and exciting and giving him the confidence he was part of this world he's fighting to stay in, for awhile but then it starts making him realise he'll only ever be the number two in that situation, forever out of contention for the real prize. it's all a bit on the nose.
so he stubbornly struggles through 2024, single as fuck and finding himself taking rather than giving advice to oscar about things to stick up your arse, which feels lonelier than ever before. in miami the combination of his and oscar's shit weekend and lando's good one leads to him coming out for a few drinks and ending up fucking one of the mclaren pr guys. he has a meltdown when he sees the papaya shirt on the floor the next morning.
pr guy's very discreet about it, although he keeps smiling at logan every time they cross paths and logan's about 85% sure there isn't actually a need for him to follow oscar so closely, actually. logan's shaky position makes someone being so into him about as comfortable on his skin as sweaty fireproofs but that doesn't stop him being desperate enough to fall into bed with the guy again once he has something to celebrate. once he realises he's charlie-from-marketing's jenson figure.
he's not an asshole so he does take the guy on a few dates, try and romance him a bit. maybe he, too, can find love with a mclaren twink, it worked for oscar after all. but it just doesn't click, the guy doesn't really understand him, too in awe of the fact he's getting screwed by an f1 driver to notice the bedsheets are ikea and one of the pillows is pretty badly tearstained. that logan's barely clinging to his ride, feels like he is what they're saying; one of the worst ever, not even brave enough with the car to crash as spectacularly as latifi.
logan doesn't exactly break it off but says he needs them to take a break while he's negotiating his contract, can't risk anything. it's not a huge surprise when a few week's later it's obvious the guy's moved on with ollie bearman. like his last relationship, it's all a bit on the nose.
2025 gives him time to work out what he really wants. f1 might not be it, life might be better somewhere else. he starts talking to formula e teams, wondering if a life in papaya might not be that bad after all provided he didn't have to see oscar and lando mooning over each other. and that's not even fair because oscar asks him to be her best man and he's stoked, especially because lando's is max and they've stayed in touch, still hang out. max is doing a few bits racing gts, initially as a quadrant thing but then it turned out he was more than good enough to be in demand as the pro to a gentleman driver who was so eager to get back in a race car he didn't really negotiate on price, even.
logan avoids asking him about it but max is fucking hype about how mint the 24 hours of spa is. fucking mental, mate. you're throwing it up eau rouge with a bunch of blokes who wear suits, like proper suits not race suits, all week in the pitch dark and it's shitting it down with rain and you think: i shouldn't be enjoying this, should i? should really be driving into the pits and saying no thanks, that's absolutely mad, can't be doing that sort of business. but then when it's happening you're like, properly into it, aren't you? got a podium in misano, mate, it was mad. blowie off one of the mechanics, that didn't happen in f3 did it haha mind you guess they would've been a bit of a nonce back then wouldn't they. you should come to a race i'll get you vip, they'll go mental for an f1 driver being there mate, they went mad when bob dropped into brands and he was only there five minutes.
logan doesn't say that he thinks he has a lot less star power than lando but they do give him vip anyway. he's never been to magny cours before, it feels weighted with that type of european history the classic race tracks do, like another thing that might find out who he is and reject him.
even if the circuit isn't embracing him, max does. complains about logan being so fucking tall, mate, it's annoying, i swear you were smaller than me once. he wasn't but max can pretend that, if it helps. max is jangling with nerves, rushing between trying to sort things out with the team - because it's not like, you know, f3 and that, you have to set the car up so the other bloke can drive it the best he can and then you just sort of have to cope with how it is. actually, that's quite like f3 innit? do you remember in fucking silversto- nah, let's not think about that right now.
it's nice. it's nothing to do with f1. even with the quadrant logos, that's max's thing, no weird haunting of lando around and it's not like logan dislikes the guy, at all, it's just that it's nice that this is all theirs. logan can breathe out, relax, laugh properly for what feels like the first time in ages because no one's scrutinising his every move and max gives him a headset and tells him to listen out for when he's boxing, put the fucking kettle on, yeah?
logan falls asleep on max's hotel bed, listening to him recount the whole story of a race he just watched. max tucks him in, rather than the trophy and if they wake up hugging that's no one's business but theirs. didn't used to do blowies in f3, either but when there's something to celebrate and max really is so small, so cute, so unselfconscious about everything because it's just them, yeah. doesn't have to be a massive fuss like bob and oscar, do you want a lift back to the uk? i've got space since bob moved his fucking golf clubs out the boot finally.
oscar and lando get married a week later and it's very oscar and lando. logan didn't have a date to bring, didn't even think about it before he saw george's girlfriend and kelly and the sharp stab of whoever lewis' guy is. logan knows there's no point being jealous on that scale; he couldn't be lewis, on any level but everyone wants, don't they?
max doesn't have a date either. probably doesn't need to hold logan's hand while they're waiting for lando and oscar to do their vows and max is crying and maybe logan's crying too. they have to stay behind to clear up the flower petals, getting tutted at in french while max rolls his eyes and says they should try being told off at Viry, fucking hell.
if they're later to the reception than is strictly necessary because as they were leaving max turned round and said "do you think, mate. you know, we could - one day" and logan decided to stop living on borrowed time and properly make out with him against the harbour wall. have to stop because they're getting dangerously close to third base and max is breathy and gasping and telling logan he can have this. they always were equals, each others' biggest rivals, maybe they're meant to be here, bright eyed and hair disarrayed and grinning at each other, not the places they've been struggling.
oscar's definitely onto them, makes some really crude comments about it being traditional for the best man and head bridesmaid to fuck, innit and logan has to tell her to fuck off and bother her husband. they are properly cute, though, aren't they? never thought bob would be able to hold a relationship together but she's properly straightened him out, who knew he just had to get pegged- fuck, pretend i didn't say that. oh, how did you know, too?
logan and max normally stay with lando and oscar when they're in monaco. but there's only one spare room and this doesn't feel the moment to drop that announcement, as well as they do not want to hear what those two pervs are doing to each other tonight. so they're in different hotels but everything in monte carlo's pretty much the same place, pick logan's on the basis it's nearer the casino and they can go for a late night, last drink once they've got oscar and lando's very drunk dads into a cab.
kissing when they're in fancy suits is hot. fucking when they're out of them is hotter. when logan slides home into max's body and sees him gasp, feels his hands curl on logan's shoulders as they both moan and if it's too much like lovemaking then, well. maybe that's what they're doing. creating something, between them. something that's all theirs and they can choose without anyone else's decisions or approval. no need to wait in limbo or have to guess what happens next, which is that they come on each other and then curl up together, max sprawled on logan's chest all happy and sated and real.
he doesn't wait for the f1 decision, to make plans. racing drivers aren't patient and he finally feels like one again, especially every time his boy brings home a trophy like it's theirs. logan starts adding to the collection, too. both of them get to push, at last. they've always been good at doing that for each other.
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truly wild to me that i first got the idea for that fic about six-to-eight years ago
i really do want to finish it one day, even if it might be awhile
unfortunately, getting wrapped up in fandom burned me out pretty bad. vento fandom was wild. i got over-invested in stupid shit and probably was kind of flippant at times. it made me feel like a bug under glass. i don't do well in fandoms. i get burned out really easily. there seemed to be constant drama going on and that really drags things down, man.
more importantly, i'm also just not that into jjba anymore. idk. maybe i need to do a reread. i do reread jojolands when it comes out. i got into jjba during a really weird, very stressful part of my life to have a distraction that didn't require a lot of brain energy, but i'm older now, out of that stressful situation, and don't really have the same motivations to write. i got dogs to pet. i have a partner who i love very much. i'm busy playing little games and talking to my friends.
mostly, as mentioned, jjba was something i started getting into because i needed something kind of silly at the time (that's not an insult) but i don't need that anymore. i'm getting into series i like on their own merits. it turns out i don't really like shonen as a whole.
i kind of lost track of what i was doing with some parts of it tbh. my original notes have vanished into the aether. i need to do a big reread but it's a huge commitment, so i haven't done it. there's storylines in there that i wish didn't overcomplicate the plot and pairings that i started setting up that i'm kind of meh on now. too many characters. some story beats that i don't think i executed well and some i don't think i was actually the best qualified to handle. fundamentally it does seem like an inherently silly thing to write an introspective fic series about depression and cycles of abuse under the guise of the funny punchghost anime but also existence is fundamentally silly, so like, whatever man, i don't really regret that part. might not have chosen abbacchio as the protagonist if i was going to write the whole thing today.
maybe i'll release a broadstrokes outline of what i was planning on doing some day idk. the series has been in progress so long that honestly if anyone ever finds this post and wants to know the spoilers, i'll just tell them. parts of it may seem anticlimatic and that's because the whole death fic was originally just a setup for the part that i really wanted to write.
i miss geun and stefano, my not-OCs. they are very dear to me. i want to do something with them but they're ultimately so tied to the canon fates of sorbet and gelato that it's hard to adapt them to other settings. like, they're technically not my ocs but let's be honest, they're OCs in every way but design and name.
i have more thoughts and feelings on my forays into writing here but also then i will ramble for five pages, so let's cut it down now. we're writing this stream of conscious style baby and this brain is t i r e d.
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Wednesday, July 31st, 2024.
What’s the most worthwhile thing you’ve done in the last year? It's difficult to pinpoint just one thing. It was more like an accumulation of worthwhile things that eventually built up to where I am today (and will hopefully continue to build up to greater accomplishments in the future). Also, this didn't all take place within the last year, but I feel like going back to the "beginning" is important for setting the foundation. It kind of started back in March of 2023. I started making art again, and I actually managed to keep up with it. Not only did it activate my creative mind, but it gave me this sense that I really could stick with something if I just put my mind to it.
Then, around the end of May 2023, I took a chance and went back to volunteering at the animal shelter again. I used to have a really hard time managing my emotions/reactions in social situations, so I was terrified that something was going to set me off and I was going to ruin it. There were things that I found upsetting or hurtful, that struck at my core fears; however, I was determined to push past them and refused to let them get the best of me. At first, I was there 3-4 days a week from about 8am-10am, but around Oct/Nov, I started showing up even earlier, staying until morning cleaning was finished (so 11am give/take), and going 4-5 days a week.
Also, it was in Oct that I started learning how to drive again. I progressed pretty quickly and began driving to the shelter. Prior to that, my dad used to take me. He'd do their laundry or write while I worked back in cattery. Anyway, some days I would go alone; other days I would drive with or get a ride with him. Then, around the end of May of this year, he had some procedures done which took him out of shelter work for a while. I continued to drive alone. By then, I was at the point where I was there from around 7am-11am/5 days a week.
I maintained that for a while quite comfortably, but just recently, I started trying out full days. Basically, I'd get there between 7am-8am and stay until closing, which tends to be sometime between 5pm-6pm. Currently, I'm doing 3 full days and 2 half days a week. I'm still adjusting, as it was a huge jump and it is pretty exhausting, especially the last push before closing, but I feel like it's something I can sustain. I'm hoping to get to the point where I can manage 4 full days and 1 half day, which would put me at approximately 40-45 hrs.
In between all that, I continued to work hard in therapy, cultivate my daily routines, carve out restful moments just for me, etc. Oh, and I almost forgot - I got back in touch with my mom in June/July 2023. I think it's mainly due to the work I've done on myself that our relationship is working out in a positive way. I don't think things would have lasted if I was still in my pre…hmm. I'm not even sure what to call it. My pre-SOMETHING mindset. Idk, but there was just this huge shift in my thinking somewhere along the way that made it possible. And even after typing all of this out, I still don't think I've even scratched the surface of the changes that have been taking place within me. It's like…for the first time in a long, long time…I have hope that I'm not broken, that I really can have a relatively normal, functional, adult life.
What foods make you want to gag? Anything overly fishy. Or seaweed. I've tried it a few times now, thinking that I'll finally like it, but nope - I never do.
Do you consider yourself to be organized? Maybe in a chaotic way. I try to be neat and organized, but I am such a forgetful scatterbrain.
Have you ever made out with someone? Yeah.
What time do you get sleepy? I'm almost always sleepy, especially these days.
What music do you listen to? I like classical, classic rock, grunge, metal, some country and indie/folk…the occasional pop song… My tastes are all over the place. If I like it, then I like it; it doesn't really matter what genre it is.
How old were you when you started to walk? I have no idea. I guess the usual/expected age.
Which member of your family do you get along with the best? My dad.
What cheers you up when you’re sad? Chatting with my dad, cuddling with my cats, making art, listening to my favorite YouTubers, trips to the Mountain Park, being at the animal shelter…and honestly, sometimes it just takes time. It's not any one thing specifically; it's just getting on with life and trusting that whatever is bothering me in the moment probably won't be bothering me in a few days, a few weeks, or whatever. I'll be bothered by something brand new by then. ;D
What do you sleep in? Sweats, a t-shirt, and a hoodie if it's cool enough.
Have you ever tanned topless? No.
Wear jewelry? I have lip piercings and I will sometimes wear several rings.
What’s something you’ve been told you’re good at? Cat whispering~*~~**~
How much can you eat? I can eat a whole lot, especially when I go out to eat, but it's not really in my best interest. I prefer to eat several small meals spaced throughout the day. It keeps my energy levels up, keeps my migraines at bay, etc.
What’s the furthest away you’ve ever traveled? East and west coasts of the USA.
Are you a cat or dog person? Definitely more of a cat person.
Have you ever done drugs? Eh.
What does your room look like? Spacious, somewhat minimal and whimsical, white/peach walls, teal carpets, lots of natural morning light… Really gives me vibes of safety, coziness, comfort…
Recommend a really amazing book. As far as relatively recent reads go, House of Suns. It's not "timelessly amazing" like some books, but I did greatly enjoy it.
Recommend a really amazing song. Idk.
Recommend a really amazing movie. Idk.
Who’s your favorite actor/actress? I don't have one.
Have you ever run away from home? Not seriously.
Do you exercise ever? Not specifically/intentionally, but I get a lot of exercise working at the shelter.
Do you like your hair, the way it is and the color? I'm fine with it. Sometimes I think I might like to get it actually styled, but…I'm lazy.
Do you have any friends named Baloo? Or is he just in the Junglebook? No.
Are you a Disney movie fan? I wouldn't classify myself as a fan, but I do like a handful of Disney movies.
Do you eat seafood? Not often.
When was the last time you cried? Oops, I had to redo this answer because I realized I was mistaken. The last time I cried was actually last Friday. I kind of already went over it in a previous survey, but it was just this defeated sense of doing my best and pushing myself so hard - really getting out of my comfort zone on a regular basis - but still feeling like a constant outsider. I don't want to get into the exact situation because it was probably just me overthinking things, but yeah.
Do you have good working habits? I mean, they're still developing, but I guess they're alright.
So where the hell do you want to go in life? At this point, all I'm asking for is a stable, quiet, and generally content existence. Nothing fancy, nothing flashy. Just the ability to provide for myself and survive.
What are your boundaries? That's…actually a really good question. Even though I'm very guarded and emotionally distant, I feel like I have pretty poor boundaries. I don't stick up for myself or speak my mind very well. I just let everything pass through me, feign ignorance or obliviousness, smile and nod, etc. I am a person without a form.
What are some of the funniest things you can think of? Idk.
What are two quirky little things about you? I don't knoOoW. I'm just weird in general. Everything about me is quirky.
Are you claustrophobic? Not seriously.
Do you like getting wasted? Ooh, that's complicated. The thinking part of my brain knows better, but the drinking part feels an almost irresistible drive to continue until I'm incapacitated. I did manage to have a few sample beers at the fundraising event last Friday without issue (and was comfortably verging on tipsy), but afterward, I was like…oh man. This is why I don't really drink anymore…because I could feel that siren song to drink to oblivion.
List three things that you look for in a friend. Compassionate, good sense of humor, similar interests.
Do you prefer Angels and Airwaves or Rihanna? Neither.
What religion are you, if any? N/a.
If your house was on fire (and your family escaped), what would you save? Do my cats count as family? If not, I would save them; if yes, then I guess I would save…idk, maybe some clothes, my phone, and a few precious items.
Do you have any sash belts? No.
What do you have on right now? Include everything, nail polish, makeup, etc. Dark gray sweats, black t-shirt, and a dark blue hoodie.
Does caffeine make you hyper? No. It can help wake me up a bit, but it doesn't make me hyper.
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so, with season 1 of the x anime nearly finished and the first chapter of the manga's second.. whatever the word is here out, what are your thoughts on x so far? i've been mostly spectating though i'm finally sitting down and watching the anime fully (currently 34 eps in) and.. i have hopes but i'm also. very worried to be honest like i don't think the authors have a plan
The season 1 manga ending has my hopes up since it addresses one of my many problems with the story, but it's more about this possibly being the point the series starts to get better and less about it being good on its own
If this wasn't Beyblade, where every gen has at least one bad season, I probably would've dropped the anime 20+ episodes ago. And even with the Beyblade name making me hopeful season 2 is better (like was the case in Burst), Multi is the only main character keeping me invested
I'll probably make a whole post on Bird and Ekusu going deeper into my problems with them, but the main thing is that they kill any tension the story has. By episode 10 you already know the pattern they go with, so the tension is battles is nonexistent, and in terms of character development, Ekusu has had practically none since episode 1 and Bird keeps going through the same "arc" every few episodes
And for how hard they want to hammer in Bird's struggles, ever since he got Hells Scythe, Bird and Team Persona have never faced any tangible setbacks (manga notwithstanding). Idk, but "feel bad for the guy who keeps falling upward" is a hard sell, and while it's possible to make it compelling, Beyblade X seems completely uninterested in giving Bird the necessarry depth for it to work
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I think yuri on ice is the only anime I've watched in full multiple times in both sub and dub
Like other animes I like I have in fact watched and rewatched various times but I don't think I e watch an anime IN FULL in dub except yuri on ice
And like yuri on ice is 12 episodes so it's not hard to be able to watch in rewatch but other animes that I have watched dubbed was always like partial
Like when I watched Attack on titan junior high I watched that majority in dub but the site I watched it on didn't have all the episodes in dub so it I'd be watching it like until like episode 6 or something and then like episode 8 and 9 would have subtitles but 10 would switch back to dub
I dont think I've ever watched Attack on titan junior high fully in sub either cus I remember rewatching it specifically so I can watch it in sub but some episodes were still dub😭😭😭
I think the first time I watched Haikyuu I watched season one in sub and season 2 in dub but I think I had it on as background noise so I wasn't reading the subs anyway
Not sure in I've fully watched saiki k in dub or not like I've definitely watched it sub and probably a majority in dub but I don't remember if I watched it fully in dub like all of it
I've watched Attack on titan an uncountable amount of times start to finish in sub mostly and probably a majority in dub, anytime I rewatch it its always subbed idk why but I whenever I think to rewatch it it's always subbed unless the intention is to watch dubbed, I think I've watch season 1-2 fully in dub, most of season 3 I've seen dubbed but similarly to junior high except I pick and choose which episodes I wanna watched in dub, I've also watch like half of season 4 part 1 in dub but yeah I don't think I've ever fully watched Attack on titan in dub
With death note idk depends on the day😭😭 I haven't watch either dub or sub fully but sometimes I just be wanting to watch it different💀
I've watched a couple episodes of naruto in dub
Idk about my hero I don't even remember what episode I left off at I stopped watching a long time ago well not that I stopped watching it's just I was getting caught up at one point cus a new season came out so right then I... stopped getting caught up... and just didn't watch the new season... its been 3 years... I think I've seen season 1 and 2 in dub but... you know clearly not the rest😶
I think I was trying to finish season 4 so I can watch season 5... or like i was starting season 5 of something... like September thru October 2021 I was attempting to get caught up...that checks out right? season 5 came out in 2021 right
Why am I thinking so hard about this😭
I believe I've watched a few episodes here and there from Jujitsu Kaisien season 1 I've watched in dub but not season 2, crazy i never actually finished jjk season 2 no but cus I would watch it w my friends weekly on the tv monitor at school like every week we would hook up some one laptop to the tv and watch the new episode but when the semester finished we obviously weren't in school and I... well I honestly forgot.. but it wasn't the same yall we were bonding we were having fun we were spending time together like yes I did actually forget but at this point I'll watch it when I decide to rewatch the series
Oh! I've definitely watched ouran in botb dub and sub fully me and my friends used to binge it on sleepovers
This was literally a post about me watching anime dubbed and subbed but it honestly just looks like a list of all the anime I've watched😭😭
Making this post is making me think I should try to log into my crunchyroll account again--
#kay just saying shit#yuri on ice#attack on titan junior high#attack on titan#haikyuu#the disastrous life of saiki k.#death note#naruto#my hero academia#jujutsu kaisen#ouran high school host club
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wip questionnaire tag
tagged by @fortunatetragedy here <3
I'll tag @writernopal @coarsely and whoever else wants to of course (blank questions below the cut!)
What’s the first part of your WIP that you created?
Orion lol. He was a ttrpg character who got out of hand... At the time, I was really struggling with shelving my Ashgrove wip so I was desperate for something else to write. I started with a short story about his background. then the story for EWT officially started with the climax scene I had no context for lol.
If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?
you'd think I would be better prepared for this question, but it's hard to pick just one song. probably "Desire" by Meg Myers
What are your favorite characters that you made? Why?
...I'm excluding Orion from this question.
Madrigal probably, we as a society need more fictional women unapologetically doing truly atrocious things. she's fun to write, and her story taps into some of my own fears/anxieties in a way that's been interesting to explore.
What other pieces of media do you think your fanbase would share?
Interview with the Vampire, Hellboy, Hannibal, probably Supernatural I'm afraid lol. all the gooey old horror movies that used astounding amounts of fake blood and slime
What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP?
oof, I'm a discovery writer so plotting is always a struggle; I know exactly where I'm going with it, but only the broad strokes of how I'm getting there.
achieving the tone I'm aiming for has been difficult as well, but that's something I can make a bigger priority in rewrites.
Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!
I don't know if Madrigal's brood count as animals....... they are semi-amorphous monsters of the primordial waters who want to achieve solid physical forms. idk how much to share about them without spoilers??
but there's one in particular in chapter 7 who ends up a little different from their siblings for Reasons, they're fun :) I um. I didn't plan to make them an actual Character but I might have to give them a name. maybe Orion will adopt them after they maim her.
How do your characters travel/get around?
Commercial flights, public transit/taxis, and more walking than Orion ever wants to do. Annex refuses to reimburse him for rental cars.
What part of your WIP are you working on right now?
I don't always write chronologically, so I'm sort of cobbling chapters 7 and 8 together at once because I'm not sure where I'll put the chapter break. (also because I was impatient to write the sex scene in 8)
What aspects (tropes, maybe?) will you think draw your audience in?
apparently cannibalism as a metaphor for devotion is "cringy" now, but hopefully there's still some good honest freaks out there for it. monsterfucking never gets old though, and we're going to get there I promise
What are your hopes for your WIP?
I hope that I'll be able to finish it lmao.
What’s the first part of your WIP that you created?
If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?
What are your favorite characters that you made? Why?
What other pieces of media do you think your fanbase would share?
What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP?
Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!
How do your characters travel/get around?
What part of your WIP are you working on right now?
What aspects (tropes, maybe?) will you think draw your audience in?
What are your hopes for your WIP?
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Hey Burt! I like when the cards do that bouncing thing in Solitaire too. When I was little I loved watching my mom play and make the cards bounce. I mostly played games like Rodent’s Revenge, JezzBall, Chip’s Challenge and other free games that came with Windows back then. I wasn’t good at Chip’s Challenge and never finished it since it had 149 levels and got pretty hard. It looks like this:
Before this gets too long, if you don’t want scary games, I recently started playing a game called Little Kitty, Big City. It’s adorable and a lot of fun. You’re a kitty trying to get back to your apartment. You befriend animals, explore, wear cute hats and steal collect stuff along the way.
Wow, that was... really interesting flowerbarrel. Really. OK, it really was, but it kind of lacks meaning when you started pirating every game you own when you turned 14 (much to your parents chagrin, but that's a story for another time). Although that screenshot does seem familiar... maybe... IDK.
And also... OF COURSE I'M GONNA PLAY SCARY GAMES! I mean seriously, you really think that I'm not gonna try to play a scary game or two while I'm doing this. I mean take a look at all the famous youtubers that ever played games for the internet
Markerplier, Dream from Minecraft, William Shakespeare, that person on the corner between Main and Fourth. They all played really scary games and it's more entertaining to see people scared then it is to see people aggravated because they didn't read the game instructions and have to be forced to figure them out while people scream at them in the chat.
It's foolproof really. Plus, I think the Stanley Parable kinda falls into that whole scary game category. There's something very very wrong w/ that game. Seriously, it gives me the shivers...
Anyway, I'm not saying I'll be entertaining when scared anyway. If anything I'm probably just gonna be as boring as usual. Most definitely... really... I promise. But I will check out that cat game though.
How did you know I like cats!? Flowingbarrel, are you following me around or something? Leave me alone!
JK... maybe
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