#idk if i’m more pissed that im still living at home or the fact school isn’t free

[starjxsung]

hai star, how are you?

ughh! i’m so so sorry your sister had to go through that :((( it really is so frustrating. i also haven’t been able to fully enjoy my vacation (or anticipating lolla peacefully either) bc even if i didn’t fully work things out, i was still stressing. i’m just frustrated bc nobody organized this well. i have a lil fault bc i could’ve reached out earlier but my professors or the program coordinators or whatever could’ve reached out to the supervisors and gathered all the info before just saying i was assigned to the center. they said there’d be other people but they didn’t tell me i was competing (they probs didn’t even know cuz they didn’t even communicate with the supervisors). idk, it’s a super red flag imo from all parts. i hope things do work out in the end. at least my professor said that if we can’t talk it out she’ll find me a new center (bc like i wanna leave so badly but i want my master’s bc if not all this suffering would have been for nothing🥲).

nonetheless, im so so so glad your sister’s internship came through but they handled it sooooo terribly. i feel for her so much. idk why people (especially if they take internships/practicums like wtf) don’t organize their shit!! but whatever, we ball. but it’s been so crazy lately. grad school has been too intense, where can i apply to place lip balm upon the lips of lee know? pls lmk

the move has been kinda stressy bc it’s been raining so badly here and we haven’t been able to clean the outside of the apartment 🥲 but we ballin too.

in terrible news, as we talk about lack of competence, tw: pet loss. as i was writing this message my bf said that the vet told him today that his senior family dog who was in surgery and had a leg amputation due to cancer had to be revived and was at the verge of death. which is so so so sad in itself. as a person that loves my animals more than anything, i would’ve taken the decision to put her down before the surgery but to each their own. but what really pisses me off is that the vet didn’t even do (or offer, in fact) to get her bloodwork done, knowing that she was high risk due to her age, condition and weight. the vet didn’t even do checked if she could survive before scheduling the surgery. and my bf’s parents were very naive and didn’t question it. and man, hate people that have lives in their hands and only care about money. this poor baby is still suffering there as of right now and it absolutely breaks my heart.

on a brighter note, my bf and i have a vinyl collection and i just ordered ateez’s the world ep.fin:will a few days ago. i’m really excited to get it. i’ve never seen a kpop vinyl irl and im really really interested in how it’ll look.

that is my life update of the day. i love you sm. thanks for giving me space to vent and im so sorry for always venting here </333 i hope you’re having a good time nonetheless, you genuinely deserve all that is good in life <3

(this is me btw)

-🐈‍⬛

THI WOOYOUNG PIC CRYINGGGGG why is he so cutie…….. 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔

I’m still just so frustrated that you have to be dealing with this :( and even if you feel like you should have reached out earlier, I feel like it was still on THEM to communicate that to you. Like how are you just supposed to magically know what to do considering it’s your FIRST TIME doing this…. it doesn’t add up !!!! it’s almost like radio silence leads to miscommunication and misdirection 🤔 hmmmm

anyways. let me know how it all comes along and I’m rooting sooo hard for you in the meanwhile 🙂‍↕️🫶 you got this bby you’re SO smart and capable and I know you’ll get there !

Oh my god :( I am so so so sorry to hear about your bf’s senior family dog :( it is so VILE that they wouldn’t communicate the risks or offer to get bloodwork done first. Of COURSE all they would care about is rushing a pet into surgery as fast as possible for a big check :( how’s she doing now? Was she sent home? And does she seem to be having any adverse effects from being revived? I am so so so sorry again bby that is so unfortunate and my heart breaks at the idea of a dog going through that much suffering 💔💔 me & momo are sending all our love & prayers your way, I hope she’s able to recover okay and have some more years ahead of her still :(

ON that brighter note, let me know how the vinyl looks !! That is so exciting! I own RM’s Indigo and BTS Love Yourself on vinyl and I’d love to buy more, but my record player broke (it’s just a cheap ass crosley soooo… no surprise lmao) but when I get another one I definitely want to get a few more good ones! My sister’s always dreamed of having Key’s Bad Love on vinyl so I’ll probably snag that for her. And then some Ateez and probably Shinee 🤲 I feel like onew vinyl probably sounds so heavenly frfr

I love you so so much bby and I promise to send all the San & Yeosang pics when I get them this week !! Sending you all my love, hang in there 🫶💖 I love you so so much 🫶💓💖💘❤️🩷 (hello kitty Wooyoung and Hongjoong sooo real)

[kur0m1bab3]

didn’t biden say students were gonna be debt free and that school would be free while he’s in office? BC…tuition is…yeah.

[smalltragedy]

* justice smith, demi man + he/they | you know gabriel de leon, right? they’re twenty three, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, six years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to 1984 (infinite jest) by the used like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole waking up in a body as heavy as the dead, emotions always on the verge of spilling over - you laugh before the punch lands, the belief that every encounter you have will be the last thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 31st, so they’re a scorpio, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 21, est, they/them )

hi im just reposting gabe’s intro bc its been a very long time n im starting a little fresh hehe. yes i do regret the text color bt im not going back.

VIOLENCE TW

mini playlist.

ghosting ;; mother mother / roam the room ;; citizen / art of doubt ;; metric / thnks fr th mmrs ;; fall out boy / heart in a cage ;; the strokes / where is my mind? ;; the pixies / flowers grow out of my grave ;; dead man’s bones / 1984 (infinite jest) ;; the used / blister in the sun ;; the violent femmes.

statistics.

full name: gabriel de leon.

nickname(s): gabe.

birthday: october 31st, 1997.

zodiac: scorpio sun, scorpio moon, gemini ascending.

label: the icarian.

hometown: belleville, new jersey.

sexuality: bisexual (masc-leaning).

pinterest.

biography.

it’s only rly ever been gabe n his mom n the little new jersey suburbs that r always the same no matter where they go. they dn’t speak abt fathers or brothers or spain or anywhere other than the now, and how its constantly changing bt oddly the same.

his mom’s name is sonia n we love her. she worked a lot as a single mom n p much hs done everything on her own ever since leaving spain.

they dn’t talk abt spain bt we cn talk abt spain n hw sonia hd grown up partially there n partially in the states n hw she’d originally planned to live there forever bt the man she’d fallen in love with ws involved in some. high class dangerous shit n it ws safer fr them to part even if tht involved leaving everything she knew n loved <3

bt its like. ok. bc she hd gabe <3 n they dnt talk abt it so it practically nvr happened. n she tries her best as a mom n usually tht is enough.

they moved around a lot just bc sonia is a very. flighty person. anxious bt nvr seems tht way is just always. tense. gabe didnt think she ws capable of relaxing fr. a rly long time.

she wld commute 2 nyc every morning n after school gabe wld climb onto the train n by the time he got 2 her place of work she’d be just getting off n they’d get a slice of pizza n sometimes they’d go somewhere like central park or coney island (just fr the novelty) bt most of the time they just got back on the train home w/ gabe either doing homework or napping on her shoulder.

when gabe got a little older he’d sometimes skip school n take the train after sonia had already gone so he cld spend the day in nyc. he liked learning bt didnt rly like school. he nvr properly fit in bc of the amt of times they’d move so it felt like nowhere ws. right fr him.

got rly involved in. the punk scene as a young unsupervised teenager n tht led 2 a lot of like. shitty stick n pokes bt also a love of. very loud angry music n a sense of justice tht he held tightly in his fists. got mouthy towards bullies whether at school or in the scenes he involved himself in n started getting into a lot of fights bc of it.

during this, sonia ended up dating n marrying gabe’s stepdad who he calls craig sometimes bt i dnt think thats his name i wont lie to u guys. its partially a joke n partially purposeful disrespect bc gabriel does not trust a single man bt like. man. ‘craig’ is just an accountant. he’s fine he’s a good dude. they once bonded over like. the mets.

violence tw // anyways. when gabriel ws 16 he got into a super super bad fight tht ended rly. terribly n like listen. nobody died bt it ws just. it got blown up very out of proportion n gabe might’ve gotten expelled even tho he wsnt even the one who started it bt thts okay. ‘craig’, or paul, suggested tht maybe. a change of scenery wld b good fr gabe n b4 they knew it they were. moving to paul-robert’s hometown of irving, north carolina. violence end of tw //

he wld’ve complained more bt. fr sonia’s sake gabe kept it 2 himself. it made her happy 2 see them all get along anyways n like. idk he cld put forth tht little effort <3

bt honestly like. he didnt rly get into too many fights once they moved down here n even tho sometimes he ws like. ommgg. i hate this town .. its so washed up .. he still made friends n like. the only thing tht changed ws tht it ws a lil harder fr him 2 acquire illegal substances.

anyways. currently he hs a tattoo apprenticeship n is a professional piercer n like. he plays guitar n writes songs bt thts more of a hobby rn than anything else. mostly focused on paying his rent at port apartments bc as much as he. loves his mom he does not want 2 live with her forever <3 n thts okay!

personality & facts.

overall xtremely passionate person like god. feels emotions so intensely. every time he opens his mouth n talks abt an interest of theirs its just very like. u listen n ur like oh. gained 2 inspiration. thanks.

clings onto his friends p tightly bc he like. nvr rly stayed in one place fr super super long in new jersey so he nvr made very long term friends n now hes like. very clingy HLKDSHLKFSHLKDG also hates to b alone. subtle desperation behind interactions with ppl he rly wld like to be friends with.

like dnt get me wrong hes gotten into. sm fights bt thts mostly bc he cannot keep his mouth shut n he also cnt stand douchebags he like. always wants to tear them down prob bc he ws a victim of bullying. n u know what. we support him. otherwise he loves ppl bt esp if they hv similar interests 2 him.

like golden retriever who bites kind of. intensely loyal but at the same time is very skeptical. things tht good things do not last very long even though they’ve been doing already fr the last few years.

also bit of a nerd. they were nvr rly a big fan of school bt theres smth abt a good superhero comic tht draws their attention more than like. any english class evr. bt seven soldiers of victory? classic. big dc fan.

uh. very into like. hardcore music. hardcore rock. punk. if its loud n angry they r into it like so so much. hs sm tattoos is like. super covered in them its partially bc they work at a tattoo shop n partially bc they do not know hw to manage their money well.

ooohh u know what theyre. kinda moody i wont lie to u. very defensive like they dnt evr wna talk abt their past. has experienced Things n they do not wish to discuss them. will usually like. deflect frm conversations he doesnt wna hv.

in tune with nature. loves fkn taking walks. hangs out in the woods by abernathy creek n lilac ridge bc nobody rly goes there n its just. nice

tries not 2 take anything super seriously 2 the point where when he does take smth seriously its a little scary bc theyre super intense abt it. forcibly optimistic even tho on the inside he feels like a total pessimist. lots of. deep down insecurities tht he projects by attaching himself p firmly onto others. >.>

so so so energetic. can never stay still. always hs to be moving around. restless like tht. probably got it frm his mom. overly protective over the ppl he loves. probably got it frm his mom as well.

goes onto Tangents bt also divert frm those tangents n is generally all over the place.

always cold n always looks tired n like he hsnt slept in a thousand years n u know what. sometimes he just does not sleep.

oooohh theyre a vegan. totally into animal rights. devious little demi man beyond that .. loves horror n the paranormal n believes in like. every cryptic. will debate u on it.

erm not. the kindest 2 themself theyre a bit self destructive. impulsive. drives very fast n parties super hard. said i will hv my effy stonem moment. u dont hv to gabe.

bt ya! luvs oranges n reds n is maybe a short king. hs an eyebrow piercing n like. a lip ring i wont fk around here he IS living his best emo life in 2021. a little outdated on the trends bt thats okay. probably will tell u hes frm new jersey. its a personality trait. smokes the shittiest cigarettes ever.

wanted plots.

just ghosting along ,, dnt even exist 2 me ,, ;; god. firstly just the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs like. spoken to romantically n then dropped suddenly. n then maybe like. one tht actually Hurt bt they cnt avoid each other bt theyre actively pretending each other doesnt exist n its. hurtful bc it ws like. actually smth nice bt <3 ykno FKLFSDHG

hey hey heyy c’maahn i’m just a little guy ;; n this is the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs probably. pissed off n hs either fought or been on the verge of fighting just. unable 2 resist a good bicker-turned-duel.

just blistering in the sun ;; they cld b close friends bt also they cld also not b bt just ppl who. indulge in bad impulsive decisions with gabe. general bad influences on each other’s health n just. no good! party hard bt at what cost.

n also ;; like ... rly solid good friendships ... flings n maybe an exe or two tht either ended on good terms or just. horrendous, ppl they’ve distanced frm, ppl also frm up north, piercing customers, bt not tattoo customers bc im p sure they’d get fired if they were just tattoo’ing ppl willy nilly, etc.

[theadorablespderman]

Everything to love about Far From Home not in this order:

Literally seeing that opening with all our loved avengers that are no more.

Whitney Houston “I will always love you” made me cry because damnit Tony’s face was right THERE! NOT OK!

The blip footage was pretty damn funny not gonna lie.

Peter’s cute ass plan to tell MJ how he feels.

MJ’s favorite flower being a Black Dalia because of the murder. Literally a girl I can relate too. Murderinos for life sister. Idk but it just made her sooo relatable!

The fact that Brad is a kid grown up from the blip and that made him seem all the weirder for MJ.

Jealous Peter was so freaking amazing! Oh my gosh! That face he’d get. I’m a sucker for jealousy and they did it so good.

Making MJ this awesome character she was before but also obviously has this softer layer where she does have flaws and insecurities and she’s really sweet but also so badass. That was amazing.

The starting relationship between Peter and Beck. It was cute and so I was sad knowing that Beck was somehow going to be the villain.

Also let’s talk about how Beck is basically Syndrom from the incredibles.

That scene with Peter and Brad....the pure terror when he snapped that picture

Also seeing how big of a dick Brad is and how unhealthy jealous he was.

“Nick Fury” getting ghosted, showing up in Venice, tranquilising Ned (don’t touch him you monster) and then promptly highjacking Peters Summer trip.

Showing the emotional trama Peter is going through. The anxiety, the greiving. It was very reminiscent of Iron Man 3 when Tony suffers from PTSD after the battle of New York. I loved that they showed Peter reacting as any kid would, many adults too, which is to just try and forget anything happened but being faced with the reality every day. So well done.

Happy and May’s relationship. Enough said 😂😂

I feel cheated we didn’t see Mr delmore again.

Addressing all the problems the Blip/Snap created. High school aging, school, drinking ages, homelessness and housing issues. That’s just the start of it I’m sure but they covered those pretty well and I love that.

The technology that made Beck into Misterio was so well done. Instead of some frankly, kinda far fetched story that he came from an alternate earth (which I was willing to believe but felt it was a cop out in terms of plot and character) they showed the real world issues that superhero’s can create. The Enemies that have a real deep rooted hatred for hero because they’ve personally been betrayed or wronged by them. Because marvel has always made clear, everyone is not on the hero’s side.

Steeping Misterio’s powers in tech which is classing marvel but again, so brilliantly done in this movie. I loved the development. Because at first glance, half way through, I was thinking “wow this is really kinda weird and unexplained and too witchcraft for what marvel usually brings to the superpower backstory” I know it’s weird to say after everything marvel has done. But it seemed just a tad out there without being too hard to grasp. Which again was brilliantly done because that was the whole point.

The nod to Misterio’s helmet even when Beck was in the hologram suit watching everything play out. I guess it was his screen? But I loved the staple of even without his big over the top suit he still had the trademark helmet. Great costume design.

Peter’s soft gazes towards MJ. Nearly gave me a cavity they were so sweet! Ahhh sooo cute

Mr. Harrington’s marital problems nearly made me pee my pants....we all knew here in the fandom that shit like that would half to happen but my god lol

The opera scene was sooo freakin cute and that one step Peter took when he saw Brad move in was so freaking cute and hot!

MJ running after him and finding the critical peice of information to crack the case wide open. Loved it.

Betty and Ned’s Sicily sweet romance that you knew couldn’t possibly last. They really nailed the realistic high school romance. But I still ship it.

The bus scene was epic. And when Peter knocked Flash out...god it was amazing.

Mj obviously having love eyes towards Peter same as he does for her.

THE FACT THAT HE ACTUALLY BOUGHT THAT NECKLACE FOR HER OH MY GOD! I CANT GET A GUY TO TEXT ME BACJ LET ALONE BUY A NECKLACE LIKE THAT WHICH PROBABALY COST A GOOD CHUNK OF CHANGE IT WAS SO FREAKING AMAZING AND CUTE AND TOUCHING.

All the iron man images got me feeling depressed as hell

“are you being serious because I was only like 67% sure?” That was amazing. Seeing MJ get so excited and trying to keep that hidden was awesome

The fact that she was so pleased with herself but also played it hella cool when Ned walked in and she said she figured it out. Literally that is me.

The shirtless Peter trope that we all wanted and freaking got! So freaking cute how she tried to peak at his abs. Like understandable girl.

The fucking illusions. Turning our sweet trusting Peter into a ball of mess. I was too.

God when he had to tell himself it wasn’t real but it still totally feels like it is.

Him trying to save MJ when she’s “thrown off the Eiffel Tower”

Every traumatizing thing Beck shows and tells him during the illusion. So shitty.

Seeing Tony’s grave, seeing iron man come out. That was awful and we all felt it in the movie because we’ve lost him too. We could FEEL that slap same as Peter.

Beck telling Peter that Tony’s death was his fault. I was abouta hurl myself at the movie screen.

Every illusion done in a way that just when you think it’s over, it’s never stopped. You forget what’s real and you feel trapped in it same as Peter does.

WHEN HE GETS HIT BY THE TRAIN!!!!!!!!!! Nearly had a damn heart attack!!!! My mom had to look over and ask if I was ok because I literally stopped breathing for a solid 30 seconds.

Showing gradually just how insane and evil Misterio was.

HAPPY BEING CONCERNED FOR PETER! LIKE SINCERELY AND HONESTLY CONCERNED! It’s good to know he’s got Happy to take care of him and May but that Peter still has a father type figure he can count on after Tony. Because you know Tony wouldn’t have put up with any of that getting hit by a train shit.

Also where the hell was Karen? We missed her. We got Edith but Karen wouldn’t have let Misterio take her over. WHERE WAS KAREN!!

Peter crying and needing to know Happy was real. Broke me heart

That hug between them was so sweet and you can see the concern on Happy’s face

Happy and Peter opening up to each other was so awesome considering their relationship in Homecoming.

ALL THE TONY and PETER PARRELLS! All of them!!!!!!!!! Not the people saying “Spider-Man’s the next Ironman” no the actual hints and glimpses at how similar him and tony actually are. The hologram gauntlet shot, a straight parallel to Iron Man when Tony is building his first real suit. Obviously “Back in Black” by Led Zeplen (formally known as AC/DC) playing. Another obvious hint toward Tony. The Stark sunglasses. Peter falling with the parachute and it literally looks like Ironman with his jet stream behind him from a distance. There’s so much more I’ll do a whole other post on.

Of course: “I love Led Zeplin!” Hahaha it’s such a kid thing to say! I’ve said it before I knew the big differences between AC/DC and Led Zeplin. It was so freaking perfect.

Peter making his suit and Happy’s face. Bittersweet and I live for the affection he holds for Peter now.

The Netherlands Holding cell...must I say more?

Brad’s downfall and MJs amazing comment about him taking pictures of people in the bathroom. Ep-ic. Even flash was like “bro that’s so weird”

Mr. witchcraft was hilarious and I loved his aside with Brad “I’m gonna be the cool teacher and tell you you can’t do that anymore.”

Flash is definately Gay or Bi and I’m so here for it. That wink he makes to Peter proves it.

All the near death truths in the vault of the tower.

MJ BADDASS COMES SWINGING WITH THE MACE AND IT WAS LEGINDARY OH MY GOD! YES GIRL! She’s my idol I love her so much.

Peter and his “Peter Tingle” And while we’re on the subject the banana he gets to the face while packing.

Important. His amazing skills at the end trusting his instincts (which is great because May says in regards to MJ, but it applies to this too) May tells Peter to trust his instincts and don’t think too much. And that’s what he does when he defeats Beck.

The bad ass “you can’t fool me anymore” after redirecting the gun away from his head at the end. Literally was so intense and well done.

Peter and MJ’s kisses! I loved how awkward it was at first and the slightly less awkward one. They really accurately captured the awkwardness of teenagers in love. Like that’s what it’s like guys.

Show me MJ’s parents you cowards, or show me something. Anything. I just want to know the nature of the situation.

Ned and Betty’s breakup. So funny and honestly not surprising at all. But still I ship them.

The hand hold. So cute.

May and Peter still being the cutest aunt and nephew duo there ever was.

I totally thought Peter was going to end with telling the world he was spiderman....BUT SOME OTHER ASSHOLES DID IT FOR HIM AND MADE HIM INTO A VILLAN AND IM PISSED. LOOKING AT YOU MR JAMESON YOU PEICE OF SHIT.

The movie ended and I have no idea what’s next.

Mid credit of MJ swinging through New York. Home girl doesn’t like and neither do I. Looks full on terrifying we don’t blame you hun.

After credit where the skrulls have been playing Maria and Nick fury for the whole movie. Honestly it made more sense because Nick fury seemed just a bit off. ALSO WHERE IS THE REAL NICK FURY at and I’m so psyched to see where this new movies are gonna go!

Alright that all for now folks!!!! Everything about the movie was great!!! I will have to watch again ad see if anything more pops up. Sorry for any spelling errors I’m on my phone.

[mayalevesque]

{ sky ferreira ♔ twenty-four ♔ she/her } well, well, well if it isn’t maya levesque running around peach hollow. legend has it, they come from blueberry boulevard and have lived here for four years. if you’re wondering what they’ve been up to, i hear they’re a baker at get baked for a living. they have been known to be condescending yet charming. a word of advice to them, always look over your shoulder. you never know who is watching. 

(hi!! i’m bella :) i haven’t participated in an rp for a hot minute so i am still kinda re-learning some things etc., but overall i am super excited! with that being said, maya is a fairly new muse for me. the last time i used to rp, i always played the easygoing, sweet character. maya, however, is not quite as easygoing or sweet, so she is very different for me! she’s a tough girl, but she is sensitive and has a big heart. there is nothing i want more than to plot with you! i am literally down for practically anything. anyway, here is her intro + some wanted connections. thank u for reading <3) 

her birthday is september 10th, 1995

she grew up in santa cruz, california

maya’s parents were artists, but they were not at all successful. because of this, money was tight. her parents often “borrowed” money from other relatives

speaking of her parents, the two were both addicted to drugs and did not treat maya well to say the absolute least. in fact, they didn’t treat each other well either. they broke up at least a dozen times during her adolescence

in high school, maya struggled with her grades + did not participate in any extracurricular activities (although she enjoyed playing the guitar)

she never really had a close group of friends because she was scared of getting attached to anybody

she has never been in a **real** relationship either. she has slept with her fair share, but she never let herself get too close to any of them

she is a bisexual queen

if u have not noticed she kinda has a “trust no one” attitude lmao

she dropped out of high school with only six months left before graduation because she felt that school just wasn’t for her (she lowkey regrets it now but it’ll take a lot for her to admit to it because she stubborn as hell)

got her first job when she was fourteen, worked as a cashier at a touristy ice cream shop

she began working her second job at age eighteen. the work paid so well that she didn’t even need her first job anymore... she quit her second job only months after being hired, but she still added a shit ton of cash to her savings because of it

on a whim, maya used all of her savings to move far away from her toxic home to start all over. and here she is!!

maya thought that things would be different when she moved away, but they weren’t. she still had to deal with her trauma and her trust issues. to this day, it is still not an easy task to get close to maya

she puts up a somewhat mean front so people don’t try too hard to get to know her, but in reality she is very soft and caring<333

she has recently begun going to therapy because she knew that she couldn’t carry her burden any longer, and she knew that she needed help

works at get baked as a baker 

wanted connections:

roommate(s): a few roommates sounds so fun!! it would make sense too bc maya spent most of her savings moving to peach hollow and it would be realistic for her to have to split the rent. angst + tension? or a best friendship waiting to happen? plus adding the roommates factor into it? genius. also im likely going to make a pinterest for maya too so a collaborative bedroom pinterest board >>>>>

friendships: maya doesn’t make friends easily, but after four years of living in peach hollow, she is bound to make a few! they may not know everything about her tho, but she may feel inclined enough to enlighten them someday

someone who pushes her to get her mf GED: self explanatory basically! this would be a rocky relationship bc maya would def tell them to mind their own business etc. but only because she doesn’t wanna accept the fact that she’s unhappy, and getting her GED could help her in the longrun (mercy)

lover(s) and/or ex fling(s): people she has slept with or maybe even got attached to/loved but is afraid to admit. could be ongoing or something that happened in the past! we love the angsty/crying gifs don’t we??

The One She Falls In Love With: lmaoo this can be reciprocated or unreciprocated. either one will bring so much tension and drama and goooodddd i love the drama so either way it would be a Dream. help her trust people! or break her heart! or both??? the possibilities are endless

ex-friends/frenemies: maya can piss people off easily so if u feel your character and maya’s don’t mesh well, may i recommend a frenemy plot? i luv those..im also a sucker for rekindling friendships and frenemies to bff tropes so its perfect

regular customers: this sounds p standard but here’s a Twist: it would be cool if maya could like..talk to a drunk/high customer and the two end up oversharing things about themselves and then it becomes a whole big Thing the next time the customer comes back sober ya know?? then from there the plot ideas are literally limitless period. idk its 3 am what im writing no longer makes sense so i will end this here lol

NOTE: u can dm me on discord to plot but i most likely will get back to you faster on tumblr messages. i do not mind either though, just letting yall know! :) thanks again for reading!! (also one last note + fair warning i SUCK at starters. wish me luck :*)

[speckledbears]

Thoughts on “Far From Home”

SPOILERS FOR “Spider-Man: Far From Home”!!!!

this is for you anon

ok so basically i thought that it would have been good if it wasn’t a Spider-Man (“children’s”) movie.

Like, I think Quentin (Jake G) was such an interesting character, and an amazing villain but, I hated that his entire reason was because he wanted to be the New Iron Man. It bugs me to NO END that THATS the reason. Tony stole the projector tech he made, made fun of him (even if the audience didn’t know), and fired him. I think that’s a much better reason than wanting to be the next Annoying, Mean, Rich Rich Rich So Fucking Rich Metal Guy. The tech was so fucking cool? Like, projectors that seemed so lifelike,,, that’s so cool (also i kinda feel like you could relate it to how disney is only using GCI now but the russos are dumbasses). And like, the story Quentin and his team put together for Mysterio, and all the planning and the production value (if you can call it that lol) was so interesting and I was so intrigued. If there was a movie for him, and he didn’t fucking suck, I would pay to see it. His issue is that he’s so hellbent on killing Peter, MJ and Ned that I was put-off from like, half the movie. It’s kinda terrifying that someone can say, “I’ll just have to kill the kids myself,” and NO ONE IS CONCERNED??? And the fact that he was willing to kill innocent civilians just to make headlines, that’s fucked (and modern). Also, I think the directors missed out on a big opportunity for Peter to have a new father figure. Peter looked up to Quentin, trusted him, seeked him out for advice, like he would a father. I don’t remember him ever doing that with Tony. Peter was always too worried he was bothering him, and Tony seemed to brush him off a lot. Sure, Tony picked him and placed so much faith in him but, in the end? I feel Peter became more of a toy for the Avengers than an actual team member. If Quentin had been a good guy, doing this shit for the “right reasons” (idk like, taking the burden of becoming Iron Man off Peter, and maybe mentoring him) he could’ve been AMAZING. I still love him (except his dumb reasons) but, y’all missed out!!!!

Next: The whole deal with Peter being chosen by Tony to be the next Iron Man. Fucking hate that shit!!!!! Peter is a CHILD, he’s 16, and obviously he’s not ready for that responsibility!!!! In the movie, he’s manipulated by Quentin (which i lowkey also hate and explained above) and he just!!! gave EDITH to him!!!!! He’s a good kid, but not mature or responsible enough to handle having access to that kind of tech. I mean, dude almost killed a classmate?? Literally called a drone strike on the kid, couldn’t figure out how to cancel it, and destroyed the drone himself. Let’s not forget that this responsibility was FORCED ON HIM BY TONY???? Like, there was this scene where Peter literally told Quentin that he didn’t want EDITH!!! He didn’t want that kind of responsibility that came with being Iron Man!!! All he wanted for the summer was to hang out with his friends and kiss the girl he likes!!! Peter just wanted to be a normal child for one summer and, apparently, that was too much to ask for. Also, in the scene where Happy and Peter are in the jet talking about Tony, Peter says that he doesn’t know if he can be the new Iron Man. Happy doesn’t even hesitate when he says, “No, you can’t. No one can replace him.” Like hello!!!! And then they immediately forget that little nugget of wisdom, and Peter starts playing with Tony’s tech and literally everyone with eyes can draw the parallels between Peter and Tony. It’s frustrating. I hated how Tony was treated after his death. I completely understand mourning a character, especially one as important as Tony Stark, but it didn’t feel like mourning. It felt like worshipping. Tony had become a martyr, and he fucking knew it (EDITH = Even Dead, I’m The Hero 🙄) and people are still licking his boots. It’s just so weird that, even though he’s supposed to be dead, he’s still a main character and RDJ isn’t even in the movie!!!!!!!! When a character dies, that’s it, they can’t directly influence the story anymore, and yet Tony is still the reason for everything Peter does? He doesn’t have his own initiative. He lived and breathed in Tony’s shadow, and he’ll live in it forever. He’s being forced to become the next Iron Man. And believe me, I love Tony. I grew up watching the “Iron Man” movies with my parents and brother, and I remember watching one in the theatre and laughing till I cried. Guys! He’s dead! He’s done more than enough! It’s Spider-Man’s turn now.

I really hated Nick Fury in this movie. I grew up watching the OG Marvel movies and I loved Nick, but holy fuck. This dude hounded Peter, a CHILD, for help against those Elementals when he could’ve literally asked anyone else (side note: he shot Ned with a tranquilizer dart like? dude he’s a child calm down-). He gave a shit ton of excuses for why he couldn’t get in contact with the other Avengers but, I call bullshit. This dude is like, one of the most powerful men in the world (Quentin’s words, but it’s also been proven in other movies). He managed to track down Peter, how is it THAT HARD for him to find an adult??? Then he hijacked the school trip so that Peter would be in Prague, and he KNEW that once Peter was there he would help. It’s manipulation. Never mind the scene like, 5 mins later where Peter says he’s worried about his friends getting hurt (and having EDITH but not really understanding her), and Nick exploded on him. LIKE DUDE??? he’s a child. I’m also super pissed off at the fact that Nick manipulated Peter using his Avenger status. OOOOHHHH you whore!!! Literally everyone knows that Peter loved Tony (🙄🙄) and he used him against Peter! ASK AN ADULT FOR HELP YOU HAVE AN ENTIRE TEAM OF THEM????? Oh also, the bitch KNEW Quentin was evil. There’s a scene that proves it. It’s right after their first meeting where Peter says no, and leaves. Nick and Maria (the brunette lady hes always with, im surprised i remembered her name) share a knowing glance. They fucking KNOW. And yet?? They let Quentin do whatever the hell he wants?? He literally tried to kill 3 teenagers, and planned to kill hundreds of civilians in London (and i’m not sure if anyone did get hurt or died but, i wouldn’t be surprised). But the most powerful man in the world can’t stop him, apparently. He wants a 16-year-old CHILD to do it for him. It’s ridiculous!

The romance was also a bit hit-or-miss for me. Like, Ned and Betty?? It felt so forced and contrived? It literally only existed so that MJ could take Ned’s place. Y’all notice that Ned basically ditched his best friend for the entire movie for some girl he barely knows? Also, the fact that they “fell in love” on an eight hour flight. Hate that. It’s such a trope and it’s ugly. The romance with Happy and May was kinda weird, too? I mean, I don’t know their past together. I didn’t watch “Infinty War” or “Endgame” but, it also felt forced. Especially at the end, when Peter asked if they were dating!! May said no and Happy said yes!! I’m assuming that’s supposed to be comedy?? ig??? Anyway, I didn’t really like the romantic rivalry between Brad and Peter? (btw no shit i almost called peter “tony” i’m telling y’all they’re synonymous now). Like, Brad’s logic in using the photo of Peter stripping to “expose the truth” about Peter to MJ was so weird and awkward? The entire scene felt forced and I was so uncomfortable watching it. Also, MJ would’ve stuck up for Peter anyway, so it didn’t even matter, and the rivalry was dropped so easily after the opera in Prague. I did actually like the romance between Peter and MJ, even though I wasn’t expecting to. It’s a bit weird how quickly he got over Liz, but whatever; he’s a teenager. (I was going to comment on the necklace thing but, that’s actually kind of in character for him so, y’all get ONE (1) pass). I thought their hug and kiss at the end of the battle with Quentin was super fucking sweet and innocent, and it was refreshing compared to most teen romance movies where they act like adults instead. I was in LOVE with that scene, and it was one of the only scenes I honestly loved.

Ok, I wanna go back to Quentin for a bit. This dude absolutely destroyed the Peter Parker we were given in HOCO, and at the beginning of the movie. Yeah, Tony already had him as a puppet, but Quentin took his innocence. Y’all saw how easily Peter trusted people before him!! Like?? When he found out Quentin manipulated him, he lost almost all his faith in other people, except for MJ and Ned. For example, the scene where Peter calls Happy to pick him up because he’s in a holding cell in the Netherlands? Love that scene BUT! As he’s limping over to Happy, so obviously fucked up and hurting, he makes Happy prove it’s really him. THAT FUCKING HURT LMAO!!!!! I hated that. And that last battle with Quentin on the bridge? He maneuvered so easily through the drones, it was impressive, and he’d only fought against them once before (seems impossible but whatever). And watching the projections dissolve away into just pixels and a scared little bitch in a fish bowl helmet? Classic Theatre. But, he was traumatized by previous experiences fighting Quentin. Peter’s growth made the movie good but, his loss of innocence really made this movie kinda suck. Sure, his innocence still there—the scenes later with MJ prove that—but he’s still lost his easy trust in other people. It hurt to see. And, like, I’m not saying he can’t be more mature but, he didn’t even trust Happy!! He’s so paranoid that he’ll find his loved ones replaced by Quentin’s illusions!! It sucks!!!! Peter isn’t Peter without that sense of childlike wonder, curiosity, and helpless faith in others.

Anyway, I wanna talk about that Netherlands scene again because, holy shit, I loved it. After Peter was hit by that train (i actually screamed but the cinematography inside the train? *kiss*), he wakes up in some holding cell in the Netherlands with a band of friendly locals, and the guard, who’s talking on the phone with his pregnant wife. I don’t know why but, that scene was one of the first to make me smile? Like, it was so sweet how the other men were so happy for the guard and his wife, how they gave Peter a spare shirt because he looked cold, how Peter just broke the lock and left? How the guard was wearing Peter’s mask???? I’m in love. The next scene I liked was literally right after, of Peter limping through the tulip field, and Happy landing the jet nearby. Without dialogue, that scene is so pretty?? The petals stirring in the wave the jet left as it landed?? The HUG???? UGH! I fell in love. Another scene I loved was the scene when Peter went to Berlin to meet with Nick Fury and Quentin manipulated it with the projection technology. Even though I knew it was fake, I was worried about what was going on outside the projection (he got hit by a fucking train so,,,,,, iwas right to be worried-). Watching Peter so helpless and trying to stay vigilant was so heartbreaking, yet I was lowkey impressed. Like? How many other mean ass men could pull that off? None, next question. I can’t even think about how to explain it. I watched that scene at least 3 times, and was amazed every time, my only thoughts anxiety for Peter.

Okay, lastly, I wanna talk about the tech. I thought it was so interesting and unique. Like, I’ve played with the idea of projection in stories, or with characters as magic but, never considered applying it through technology, especially tech as capable as it is. And every scene where the projections were being used were amazing. I mean, obviously it’s CGI, but in the context of the MCU, it’s so interesting and cool to see tech like that used in a very public way. And no one knew!!! The whole system (along with Quentin and his team) was so good at camouflaging that I was fooled at the beginning of the movie. I seriously believed in the Elementals and Mysterio’s ruined Earth. It’s part of the reason I really enjoyed his character. And, like I said earlier, Peter was fooled by it too; everyone was. He learned it, eventually. But not before Quentin could manipulate the situation one last time and claim Peter called the drone attacks on London, and revealed his identity.

All in all, I didn’t have fun watching “Far From Home,” and it’s mainly because it didn’t feel like a Spider-Man movie. I enjoyed “Homecoming,” so much more. The villain was far more relatable (even though you could see it as demonizing the poor), Ned and Peter’s friendship was so wholesome and sweet, the entire cast was fun, and it was more enjoyable than watching some angry rich white man trying to kill children so he can get richer.

[nekoabi]

Fic Masterlist!

I finally made a post version of my masterlist, which allows it to be viewed on mobile! Everything is also available on my AO3, which is also NekoAbi. 

The Five Times Patton Smiled And The One Time It Didn’t Reach His Eyes - Angsty. Romantic Royality. Romantic Prinxiety. Implied NSFW. College AU. School AUri

Admitting It - Romantic Logicality. Kiss. Sleepy boys. Terrible Title Syndrome.

Stitches -  Hurt/Comfort. Platonic Moxiety. Patton tears.

Falling For You - MASTERLIST! Romantic Logicality. Romantic Prinxiety. Platonic LAMP. One-sided (for now). Implied NSFW dreams. Implied wet dream. Swearing. Logan and Roman being know-it-all lil pieces of shit. School AU.

Planning - Platonic LAMP. Fluffy shenanigans.

Snow - Platonic LAMP. Virgil enjoys the snow. Pain mention, Self-inflicted pain.

Calm - Platonic LAMP. Its a calm day and Virgil gets introspective. Food mention.

Library - MASTERLIST! MASTERLIST (Rewrite) Library AU. All pairings, a different pairing each chapter, ending with LAMP. Cute fluff. Falling in love in different ways. Logan, head librarian. Patton, hired work. Virgil, volunteer. Roman, volunteer.

Too Close For Comfort - Past Prinxiety. Crying, Break Up. Roman is processing a break up, maybe some music can help.

Royality vs. Analogical - Romantic Royality, Romantic Analogical. Food mention, kissing. Each relationship is different; some are loud, some are quiet.

Nerdy - MASTERLIST! Romantic Logince. High School AU. Logan’s always been a lone wolf, but recently someone’s just been playing on his mind.

Fragrance of Dark Coffee - Romantic Prinxiety. Angst. Major Character Death Prior To Events. Influenced by Ace Attorney.

On the Verge of a Heartbreak - MASTERLIST! Eventual Moxiety. Angst in later chapters. School AU.

His Last Chance - Prinxiety. Angst. Implied cheating, lots of sadness.

Prompt Fill Fic Collection - University AU. Most LAMP ships. A collection of 9 prompt fill fics.

Logan’s Birthday - Written for Logan’s Birthday 2018. Platonic LAMP. Food mention, happy crying.

Tea Break -  Patton finds Roman having some issues with homework. Platonic Royality. Food mention. School AU.

Hands - Soft Logince. Roman’s frustrated by something.

Of Princes and Potions - MASTERLIST! Pining Logince. Royal Fantasy AU. Sympathetic Deceit. Mentions of war and injury. Chapter 6 involves blood, swords, knives, injury and strong anxiety attack parallels.

Rain On Me/You’re Perfect/The Way You Held My Hand/Stupid Band - School AU. Virgil is new to the school, meets a cute boy, can’t handle it. Themes of personal isolation.Chapter 3 had allusion to self-harm and talk of injury. Based off of a songs from Emo the Musical.

If I Can’t Love Her - Based off of a song of the same name. Roceit. Sympathetic Deceit. Roman hears a new singing voice, and needs to find out who it is.

Perfect - Romantic Royality. Kissing, Playfighting. Roman and Patton begin by playfighting, end up doing something they didn’t expect.

My Hero - Romantic Moceit. Kidnapping, Gangs, Violence, Fighting. Patton is kidnapped, and all he wants is for his boyfriend to come and save him... but that would never happen... right?

Ultraviolet - Logince. Past Prinxiety. Swearing, alcohol mention, past FWB relationship. Roman’s crushing on a fellow teacher and his inner performer can really help with that.

Bad Day - Implied Romantic Mox. Panic attack. Virgil has a bad day, Patton knows how to help.

Animals Know Best - Logicality. Prinxiety. Soulmate AU. Everyone has a partner animal that chooses them which not only has traits of their soulmate, but will also lead them to their soulmate. Virgil doesn’t believe in it all too much, until he can’t help but admit it.

Insomnia - Remile. Insomnia talk, mention of sleep therapy, mention of smoking. Remy’s dealing with some really bad insomnia and he’s referred to a sleep specialist. Yet the most interesting thing is the receptionist who works there...

Torn Apart - Heavy Angst with a happy ending. Lots of violence; stabbing, cutting off limbs, strangulation, choking, head injuries. Wrath is an OC of mine, he’s an angry man. Virgil sets him off. It’s a bad time.

Lullaby for a Duke - Remus mention. Based off of Lullaby for a Princess, an MLP song and animation.

Ranking Up - MASTERLIST! Splatoon Sides. Deceit and Remus are involved. 

Lies - Virgil-centric. Angst. Unhappy Ending. Suicide, Alcohol, Dangerous Driving, Car Crash, Death, Suicide (both implied and described), Implied Abusive Deceit. Based off of Lies by McFly.

This Day Aria - Villain!Deceit. Based off of the same song from MLP:FiM.

It’s (Im)possible - Roceit. “What you just asked for is impossible” and “Fuckbuddies falling in love”.

I’m Fine! - School AU. Roman’s sent to the councillor’s office against his will. Sure, he may have mentioned something in drama, but he’s fine!

Headache - No AU. Thomas has a headache and it affects where the sides reside... and to Roman more than the others.

Paint Me - Royality. Human AU. Struggling artist Roman needs some inspiration and the stranger knocking at his door is just what he needs. Based off of Paint Me from Firebringer.

To Love a Remus - Demus. No AU. Remus is an idiot, but Deceit thinks he’s hot anyway. Blood and Injury mention. Birthday fic for @doces-e--tuga

Virgil the Small Purple Emo - Moxiety. Love Makes You Grow AU. Virgil was unloved at a young age and stopped growing. A chance meeting might change his life. Secret Santa for @midnightsdarkangel (also my first and probably last attempt at GT)

Battle Bonds - No AU. Thomas is on a Pokemon kick and its affecting his imagination more than he could... well... imagine.

Theatre Technicians are basically Vampires - Vampire/Human AU. They all live in one house, work at the same place and are vampires. Angst included about their pasts which include the following: attacks, blood, talk of death, injury, scarring and attempted suicide.

Recreating - MASTERLIST! No ships. No AU. Thomas liked to watch Disney movies. That fact was one of the least surprising things about him. He could sit down and watch almost any of the Disney movies and have a wonderful time. Sometimes, scenes from those movies got stuck in his head. He never thought anything of it. 

Love on the Fly Floor - Theatre AU. Prinxiety, Roman is crushing bad on one of the flymen for the show he’s on. When his birthday rolls around, the cast and crew give him a surprise.

While The Sides Are Away, Virgil Will Play - No AU. The sides have a day out and leave Virgil at home. They don’t expect to come home to him looking... like that.

How Not to Help Your Nerd Boyfriend Find a Swimsuit - Human AU. Intrulociet. Logan needs a swimsuit. His boyfriends want to help. They are no help. Birthday fic for @cloverlyanxious/ @maeofclubsandart

Pier Pressure - Human AU. Logince/Pining Moxiety. The four go to the lake to hang out, Roman’s mad that his brother and friend are so clearly into each other but not taking the hint.

The 5 Times Patton Tripped and the 1 Time He Fell (In Love) - Human AU. 5+1 fic. Moxiety. Patton falls a lot, has done since birth. Doesn’t mean everyone’s used to it.

Remus Kidnaps You - Idk AU... mix of canon and human, maybe? No Ship. Remus kidnaps you to play with your hair. That’s about it.

Oh My God, They Were Roommates - Human/College AU. Prinxiety. Virgil meets an old friend, gets a crush on him, walks into him basically naked, freaks out. Ends happy.

Heatwave - Sides-Are-English Human AU.  There’s a heatwave. All the roommates are shedding their usual clothing for something cooler, except one.

Explainable Coincidences - Human/Teen AU. The twins explore an abandoned hotel, but they didn’t expect others to be there too.

Don’t Think Twice - Human AU. Song Fic. Roceit. It’s the happiest day of their lives, yet they still reflect on where they started from.

Keeping It Quiet - Human/Influencer AU. Prinxiety. Virgil and Roman keep their relationship quiet on social media. Not silent, just quiet.

Don’t Drink And Livestream, Especially When You’re Famous - Human/Famous AU. Platonic Roceit. Being drunk, drinking, kissing. Janus tries to help his friend get over his ex.

A Simple Mistake With A Simple Solution - Human AU. Logince. Roman messes up, Logan’s pissed. Roman makes it easy.

Skipping Ahead A Few Steps - Human AU. Logicality. Patton brings a dog home, Logan’s baffled and confused.

Oh How The Tables Have Turned... - Royal AU. Roceit, background Intrulogical. Roman’s brother likes Roman’s retainer. Roman doesn’t think he likes his brother’s. He’s wrong.

Just Like In The Fairy Tales - Semi-Fantasy/Royal AU. Royality. Patton sneaks off to his favourite place to enjoy the view.

An Apple A Day... Hurts Like A Bitch - No AU. Platonic Sides. The 5 times Janus got apples thrown at him and the 1 time he threw one at everyone else.

–

TVFH Related Stories

Pocky Day - Written for Pocky Day 2018. Shenanigans with TVFH cast and the pocky game.

Coffee Break - Virgil returns to his room and finds Reggie having problems with homework. School AU.

House Party - Roman throws a house party after a show. Mention of drunken behaviour and alcohol.

Beach Trip -  It’s hot, the gang decide to go to the beach. The night before, shenanigans ensue. Sexual implications. Relia focused.

--

FFXV Fics

Type Found - Pokemon AU. Prompto finds a Pokemon in an imperial base, saves it and plot things happen. The boys have partner pokemon.

Hair Troubles - No AU. Ignis can’t get his hair right and it’s frustrating. Prompto steps in to help.

Prompto’s Bike - Pre-Roadtrip. OT4 Chocobros. Prompto has a motorbike. The other bros really like it.

Cor’s Cooking Lesson - Pre-Roadtrip. Cor finds young Ignis attempting to cook and helps out.

[aletaevers]

( cisfemale ) haven’t seen ALETA 'PIXIE' EVERS around in a while. the FREYA MAVOR lookalike has been known to be (+) DRIVEN & (+) RESILIENT, but SHE can also be (-) VAIN & (-) UNRELENTING. The 22 year old is a JUNIOR majoring in NURSING. I believe they’re living in TERRA FIRMA, but I popped by earlier and no one answered the door. ( james. 20. EST. she/they. )

i’m......so excited......................like i LOVE aleta and im so iskdjfg !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pleathe give this a like if u’d like to plot w/ her !!! esp if u have a hendrix bb as they’d know her more ... obv

TW: child abuse, alcoholism, death, violence, grief. just some really tragic shit, man. self loathing.

a e s t h e t i c s

french-pane windows and ivy-coated bricks, silk pajama sets and champagne bubbles, wind through hair and constant, constant running; red cards and penalties, explosive words and hair-tugging, tear-soaked pillows and red eyes in empty bathrooms, the smell of roses and death, loose curls and sharp scissors, fairy tales and their endings -- how bittersweet, nails against desks, against backs, nails down a chalkboard, nails breaking skin. thrown fists and bruised knuckles, late night cereal-runs, getting lost in the woods, sleeping in fields. choking down insults, forced smiles, a wish for comfort.

general information !!

full name: aleta marit evers

nickname(s): pixie, tbd

b.o.d. - june 17th, grand ol’ gemini

label(s): the vixen, the amaranth, the hellcat, etc. etc.

height: 5′8″ tbh

hometown: giethoorn, netherlands

sexuality: bi as hell

pinterest

stats

biography !!

all aleta has ever wanted was to be happy. to just, for once--be content.

born to anton evers, a well-known neurosurgeon and eleanor evers (nee du pont), a talented actress appearing on several tv shows in her youth -- privilege is, essentially, her middle name

her parents met on the set of a hospital show, anton a consultant and eleanor a ‘patient’; it was the kind of love that was volatile and loud and known -- dangerous, in the end, maybe.

this was only possible because eleanor had always dreamed of being a star, instead of inheriting her families’ horse racing business; which thus resulted in her traveling across an entire ocean to pursue her dreams where there wasn’t already a name made for her.

lil fun facts about the evers: anton’s older brother is a partner with their father at evers & evers, and his younger brother is koninklijke marechaussee.

life was normal in the beginning; eleanor had her firstborn, rhys -- a son, which made anton happy. then, her second born, aleta -- a daughter, which made anton less happy. a few years after aleta came laurel, another daughter. and that was that.

it was supposed to be the three of them.

anton evers, in all his glory -- was nothing more than a no-good cheater with a bad temper and a lack of empathy. which, of course, led to his numerous affairs with one of his nurses. which -- in turn, led to the birth of one ramona evers, only to be discovered six years later. 

pre-ramona: when the kids got too much for eleanor, she’d let them fall into the hands of the nannies. plural, as there were many; not all willing to deal with three spoiled devils from the deepest pits of hell. she loved her children, but god, was she not built for motherhood. eleanor spent her days drinking wine and champagne, excessively, while the nannies chased after mud-coated children and faced their tantrums head-first.

their house was old and ~vintage~ and more like a mansion than anything else, a backyard leading into woods--countless woods. this is where aleta spent most of her time, when she got sick of rhys pulling her pigtails and him refusing to play knights and princes with her.

after a severe accident, ramona was suddenly left motherless and thus: custody went to anton. it came to a shock to the entire family, but eleanor the most -- she’d gone six years unknowing of the fact that her husband had another child.

it was like watching their mother turn into a completely different person overnight -- while never cruel to her own children, eleanor was relentless towards ramona. whether it were insults or nails dug into arms; more often than not a martini glass in her hand.

aleta had always loved her mother -- even with nannies looking after her more often than not. in her eyes, her mother and father had a marriage that fairy tales were based off of. anton worked often, but everyday he’d bring home flowers for eleanor; their home was essentially a garden; vases and vases of roses.

if her mother hated ramona then aleta hated ramona. rhys had begun closing up and laurel, out of fear than anything else, stayed clear of the soap opera that was now their life.

these were aleta’s nightmare child gone extreme years. unapologetically violent towards any other student who dared step in her way, she took what she wanted and was a typical bully throughout her school years. she was essentially just. a really angry brat. with dyslexia, which also made school Hard which in turn made her Hate School. 

more often than not, she was alone at home. more often than not, she was in the woods. they were her only source of peace. it was in the woods that she met vos. whether that was his real name, she didn’t know. she didn’t care. he’d gotten his foot stuck in a rabbit hole, and she’d gotten it out. and from that point, they were friends. it was like a fairy tale, which aleta had always been big on. she went by duif, going along with his shenanigans.

together they played knights and princes (aleta, always the knight. always. vos, the prince. always.) practically everyday until sundown, where they’d part ways.

throughout this all, eleanor had been getting worse. her alcoholism had taken an extreme turn for the worst.

when aleta was 12, she found her mother dead. she doesn’t remember much, just red wine mimicking blood and pearls strewn across the room, shattered glass and her own screaming sobs.

the day after the funeral, they moved.

aleta was, essentially, alone in the world after that. rhys had gone off with the bad sort of crowd and had no time for his mourning sister; he was grieving in his own way. laurel had befriended their neighbor, eva, and aleta had immediately taken a dislike towards her. she thought she looked like a rat. aleta told eva that much. and ramona was...off doing ramona things, avoiding her family by any means necessary.

time sort of...flew, after that. aleta channeled her anger through sports--and as she got older, into parties and general reckless activity involving alcohol and whatnot. grief still hung heavy in her throat, but she put on a mask of cynical coldness and became known as the resident bitch. it fit her. she didn’t care.

her moods calmed a bit as she entered university, but not by much tbh.

uuhhh hmmm. met tiago through her brother, and only pursued him because she had overheard ramona gushing to either laurel or eva or whomever the fuck about her little ~faraway crush~. so, like, obviously aleta fucked him? and somehow! they wound up dating! she’s very much in love with him, which terrifies her because she’s very scared of loving someone.

also...........uh......................may have gotten ramona expelled out of sheer pettiness. more on that later. :~)

personality !!

frank, rude, and spiteful -- at least she’s honest. even if her comments are riddled in backhanded compliments and eye-rolling. 

she’s not the....easiest person to befriend. has a habit of really only paying much attention to people she finds interesting; if you bore her then you’re out! thanks for playing!

despite how off-putting she can be, she’s pretty well-known. whether its because of her viciousness on the field in the many, many sports she has played for hendrix, or her presence at parties, or ‘cos she made your cousin or best friend or whomever cry in the bathroom, or y’know. her famous, dead mom.

doesn’t...seem to have a problem with her reputation? likes being seen as this tough, untouchable person.

is soft with very very few people, like, maybe three at the max? and she’s not even soft towards her siblings so difjgkh. one of these people is obv tiago.

she’s endlessly loyal, even if she does flirt with other people to make her bf jealous ?? like, she’d never actually cheat. not after what her father did to her mother. does it excuse her actions ?? fuck no. she’s still a bad person

hates her dad so yay !! daddy issues. p sure papa evers is part of a secret society but, y’know. just dad things.

she’s....very emotional. very prone to sudden spouts of just, anger. it doesn’t take a lot to piss her off, and she’s not a particularly friendly whirlpool.

cries a lot tbh. usually before she sleeps, or in the shower, or in one of the campus bathrooms. doesn’t let people see her cry but like...it’s also not surprising to catch her fixing her eyeliner in the bathroom after an episode.

she’s just in general p moody ?? petty ?? will talk shit to you in dutch, even if u fucking speak it. she doesn’t care. would probably spread a rumor about u just for funsies.

she’s gr8 at parties, usually ‘cos shes too crossed to be actively mean.

like, okay, i’ve made her out to be pretty Horrible but hbjnfdmgh she isn’t going to look at your character and just. start beating them down with words n fists and shit, y’know ?? she might be thinking it, but she’s not That impulsive

is apathetic at best towards most people otherwise, like, idk -- if she doesn’t have a reason, even if its a very small reason, she won’t bother with you. 

this VIDEO right fucking here. GOD. that’s an aleta vibe. it’s probably not something she’d say but just. the tone ?? awful. it gave me flashbacks to middle school when i watched that video.

has a sketchbook which is essentially anatomy notes and like, lil doodles n shit of fantasy scenery n shit

kinda...escapes into her mind sometimes ?? is still in love w the concept of fairy tales and perfect love and just. happiness. like she’s kind of obsessed with it ?? with the perfect image ?? which, hence, leads to her illustrating it. hence why she’s just so. in love. hence why she sabotages everything for herself too ‘cos ! she just sort of hates herself and knows nothing will ever be magical and perfect and shit.

so like, big secret fantasy nerd. probably has tried to sing with birds once when nobody was looking. she cant even sing. she shower sings and like maybe the bathroom acoustics make her sound not horrible but ?? she’s mediocre at best. it’s tragic, really.

there’s sm more, like, she’s just got a lot of feelings and contradicting personality points and she’s udfjighk she’s annoying. that’s what she is. aleta is CANCELED

ok ok ok but GOD is she good at sports ?? like genuinely just. she does like, track, hockey, lacrosse, tennis prolly idk, maybe other shit. and like granted she gets angry n then gets penalized for almost beating a girl down but isjkdfg she’s good at sports 

got the nickname ‘pixie’ on the field ‘cos shes fast and also has bitten a few people and is just very aggressive

EDIT: i forgot to mention that she !! stopped relying on her father for money (this does not include....stealing from him, which she most definitely does!!) and she’s kinda paying for things w/ savings and like...soon, she’ll get a job, i promise uhdfijfkg 

wanted connections !!

like...two close friends. pleathe, for her sanity.

uuuuuHHH god, just enemies of all sorts. ex-friends or never-friends or exes before tiago. people she’s talked shit about, or spread shit about

maybe she fucking poured her alcohol on ur muses’ head during a party

GOD i don’t know she drops people so much !!

other....friends, y’know, that she isn’t ~close~ to, but she gets along with fairly well

people she flirts with to make her bf jealous !! because she’s awful !!

temptations...b/c commitment is difficult for her b/c of y’know. her parents. not an actual affair but just...y’know. checking each other out, flirtatious banter, the whole ‘no i can’t ive got a boyfriend’ and shit like that.

teammates !!

dead parents club.

somebody who caught her crying in the bathroom hfdjgkh whether theyre concerned for some fucking reason or r straight up like ‘lmao...u deserve it’

ummm give me rhys ?? and laurel ?? or people who know them

rhys is a drug dealer so like.............she prolly knows a few ppl who get their drugs from him

friends of ramona’s before she uh . . . disappeared / got expelled

good influences who r like ‘stop being such a fucking dick aleta get ur shit together’

cousins !! she prolly has a ton

maybe......an online friend ?? who shes known for a while ??

bad influences who r like >:3 yes stay angry. stay bad. here, break this fucking window with this bat. yes, good.

literally i will take anything sjkfdg

people she’s tormented ??? has bullied ?? has embarrassed ???

[aro-aizawa]

Tell us about your AUs!! I’m curious!!

!!!!! an interested person???? hi anon i love you know that i would die for you without hesitation. bless you for letting me gush over my aus. this might be a lil messy (and long holy shit) considering im answering from my phone but from memory here are my aus (which i aint gonna lie are mostly either angst, hurt/comfort or canon divergent, or a mix of the three) in no particular order:

edit: now that im on computer it’s all under the cut but here’s a quick table of contents:

the one where hisashi is a pro hero

the one where hisashi is a villain

underground gladiator arena kidnap fic

the one where aizawa is inko’s brother

MUTE TODOROKI

izuku is related to all for one

gamer au

the one where uraraka is the protag instead

hp au

disney aus galore

the Spite™️ fic

the one where hisashi is a pro hero

heads up in literally none of my aus is midoriya hisashi a good parent. i mean in canon we know exactly three details about him being his name, his quirk and that he works abroad. that’s it. so, i don’t really like “good parent hisashi”. this au is basically ‘hey what if izuku got a fire quirk from his dad’ combined with my own personal views on fire, and then also deciding ‘wait what if hisashi and endevor did the same shit’. so it’s basically an au where izuku is in the same situation as todoroki.

it’s….kind of complicated now that it’s written down. in my head its p straight forwards?? anyways, basically my view on fire is that it absolutely shouldn’t be demonized as much as it is. because without fire, life couldn’t exist. it’s warmth and life and beauty. i just…think that view of it is perfect for izuku, and i always wanted to try my hand at fire quirk izuku.

also one of my few aus that’s actually gonna have a ship focus?? in that it’s tododeku but honestly knowing me i might end up accidentally dropping that aspect of it like i tend to do a LOT bc of my inability to write crushes (im an aro who’s never had a crush so me writing romance is…awkward at best lol)

the one where hisashi is a villain

i have……admittedly a lot of versions of this au. it’s by far one of my favourites to think about, for several reasons actually, mostly bc of angst but also because the hurt/comfort potential there is incredible.

my most current version of this au though plays with the idea that in the mha society those with ‘villainous’ quirks get discrimated against and pushed so the only chance they do have to survive is to turn to villainy. in this au i play with hisashi and inko’s quirks a little to make them more villainous and easier to discriminate against, for example hisashi can cremate anything he touches into ashes at will, and inko can minorly manipulate the limbs of other people although she’s mainly limited to pulling them towards her or pushing them back.

in this version, izuku is quirkless and still goes through ua determined to change the way that society works and right the wrongs in how it’s set up while also proving that quirkless people aren’t useless. a lot of dadzawa in this one because it is my w e a k n e s s. there’s a few other elements thrown in there, but overall that’s the basic jist of it.

underground gladiator arena kidnap fic

one of my darker aus where a group of villains kidnap kids who took the ua exam to create an “everything goes” fight club that customers can watch and occasionally participate in.

my general idea for this was “the sports festival is pretty brutal when you think about it. it’s almost like everything but killing goes” and then i thought that in a superpowered society there is no way there isn’t any kind of underground fight club where people can go full out w their quirks.

hence this au was born! the kids who’re kidnapped w izuku have been constantly changing over the ladt year or so that i’ve had this idea but rn i decided on having shinsou, kaminari, mina, tokoyami and yaoyorozu w him. the rest would be filled w ocs bc the villains weren’t dumb enough to kidnap all of the heroics students, just a handful.

bearing in mind the kids are all taken a couple days after the entrance exam so they’re not familiar with each other and izuku is the only one familiar w a pro hero and that’s a secret. not to mention he’s only used his quirk once at this point, and he has no access to recovery girl’s quirk so he has to figure smth out IMMEDIATELY or he’s completely fucked.

the one where aizawa is inko’s brother

look if you inspect my aus carefully you’ll see a theme and that theme is i fucking love aizawa. anyways, in this one izuku has a pretty powerful nullification quirk and is trained by aizawa. aizawa and inko have like an eight or ten year age difference, so they weren’t all that close until inko reached out when izuku was eight.

i’ll admit this is one of my lesser developed aus but it’s canon divergent with a focus on izuku hoping to be an underground hero. and due to his quirk and that aspect of his personality, it kind of changes a lot of things??? potentially a short(ish) au if i ever got round to writing it out. maybs about 20k-30k words idk.

(this is mostly born bc i feel like people forget that there’s only a fifteen year age difference between aizawa and izuku for a number of reasons. also bc inko/aizawa….is kind of weird in my mind. definitely not a fan :///)

MUTE TODOROKI

look i fucking love mute aus okay, but when i was trying to apply it to the mha universe i started thinking “holy shit todoroki could definitely be mute” or smth and ever since this au is close to my heart.

basically when poor rei burned lil shouto, she mentally scarred him into mutism. ever since the kettle incident, shouto can’t speak a word. endeavor is told by the doctor that although nothing physically is wrong, shouto is mute. endeavor is a DICK and p much decides he’ll just wait it out for shouto to finally talk bc he’s just being childish (basically he’s ablist and doesn’t let todoroki learn sign. which is bullshit but doesn’t majorly effect him bc he’s homeschooled until high school anyway).

it’s sort of canon divergent but also maybe a complete au??? in that there’s no league of villains. when all might fought afo the first time he succeeded in putting a stop to the villain and killing him. izuku still gets ofa, but he’s not the protag of the story, this time it’s todoroki.

anyways, ua sees that todoroki is mute (which isn’t registered and completely unknown to the general public) and doesn’t know sign language (resorting to notes and/or charades if he needs to communicate something), and decides to investigate that shit.

endeavor eventually gets what he deserves bc the trash bag can go rot in hell, and that’s p much all i got aside from the class realising FAST they need to adopt and love todoroki so there’s a lot of wholesome bonding there.

izuku is related to all for one

admittedly this one is one of my most underdeveloped aus but i still love it all the same. basically my take on it bc the whole ‘afo is hisashi’ thing kinda weirds me out considering afo is at least 200 years old. in this au he’s izuku’s grandfather and inko is his daugther who escaped him and lives in hiding.

i haven’t decided whether i want this au to be my take on izuku having afo or if it’s another quirkless izuku au. i haven’t gotten very far into it, all i know is that afo has no emotions and he’s a heartless bastard (me hating the dad for one trope w a passion) so there’s sort of MAJOR angst potential if i decide to go down that route.

gamer au

izuku’s quirk is that his life is a game. that’s….that’s it. if you’re familiar with sword art online, it has a lot of influence from that w/o the characters or plot or pervertedness or incest because what the fuck sao was so bad with all those. still pissed bc outside that it had potential and i think abt that a lot.

anyways, so y’know how in a lot of rpgs there’s the hud w stats and an inventory system and abilities?? well apply that to izuku and he’s p much that. the world “autosaves” whenever he sleeps, but he can’t manually load a save. if he dies he starts over from his last autosave.

bc of his access to abilities and stuff, he has the potential to be powerful bc hey he can basically do magic, but at the same time he just healed his body completely by drinking this drink he made w herbs and shit last night. also he can carry a ludicrous amount of shit that couldn’t possible fit in his backpack but apparently he’s got seventeen cheese wheels in there and room for half the classroom furniture too.

izuku sees the world w a hud which would be annoying but it’s normal for izuku. in fact, he sort of hates watching tv because the hud doesn’t appear on the screen and it’s so weird and bizarre he doesn’t really like it.

i haven’t planned anything but details of the quirk bc it can get waaaay too overpowered too quickly and hhhh i sort of burnt out of different ways this would effect canon, so i didn’t think abt it. but i did figure out that izuku would have so many gaming analogies for his friends and be into like a thousand different games.

the one where uraraka is the protag instead

born when i was complaining about how shitty horikoshi is at writing his female characters i brainstormed this au in a discord server where i overhauled canon w a more badass uraraka. (and she doesn’t even get ofa!!! she’s just badass on her own!!!)

basically bc she’s a lot more confident and determined in this au she influences a lot of her classmates. the other girls are a lot more active in their actions and are more than just the background characters. uraraka’s full strength is explored and i think i planned for her to win the sports festival bc she deserved it.

also inspired by the idea i had of pro hero uraraka kicking a lamp post down on her own strength and using it to put a comet home run on a villain like she did in the battle trial. bc holy shit that’s a fantastic mental image.

basically my “mha girls fucking rule and fuck horikoshi’s shitty writing” au

hp au

ah yes, finally we get to my take on the most generic of aus. basically i just wanted todoroki in hufflepuff to piss off endeavor and basically loving it bc he befriends izuku in it. i definitely haven’t developed this au outside of worldbuilding in how i’d combine the two universes whilst fixing both jkr and horikoshi’s bad writing.

i actually wrote a snippet that’s somewhere on my blog that i can’t link to now but you could probs for search it. but this was basically born from me getting angry at people putting the kids in the wrong houses. im a firm believer that izuku fits in nearly every house but hufflepuff and slytherin suits him the most while todoroki is ABSOLUTELY a hufflepuff. i wanted some platonic tododeku bonding so i put izuku in hufflepuff. uraraka is slytherin, iida is gryffindor, and it’d be too messy to list all the kids so i won’t.

but!! what im most happy w in this au is how i incoporate mha stuff into it. like how hagakure isn’t actually invisible she just got permanently hexed by her brother to always be unnoticed so you can never know what she looks like or where she is. tokoyami has a bird head due to a failed attempt at becoming an animagi. its permanent and although he could get it fixed, theres actually a number of wizards w the same thing do there’s a lot of animal like wizards. shinhou comes from a pureblood family thats been known for their dark magic, even though the last four generations haven’t been dark wizards the wizardinv world is convinced he’ll be a dark wizard too but shinsou wants to prove them wrong. amajiki being a metamorphmagus who shifts his limbs into animals when he’s nervous. etc etc. i have too much worldbuilding and no plot lmao.

disney aus galore

one day i thought up abt three different disney aus for the mha universe but my first idea was a little mermaid au for momojirou w momo being the princess and jirou being the mermaid.

except besides the basic premise i p much scrapped the whole movie in that jirou learns sign language to talk to momo and the two play music together. jirou plays piano or w/e whilst momo sings. it’s v gay. theres a ball and they dance and then kiss. i never wrote it out bc i didn’t wanna add conflict in it but never got round to actually writing it lmao.

but i thought up a tododeku tangled au, kiribaku cinderella au, tsuocha princess and the frog au, and a couple others that i didn’t plan out fully. still close to my heart if i ever manage to get round to writing them out. each would probs either be a long shot at 7k-15k words or a short multichapter fic at 25k-30k words.

the Spite™️ fic

the fic where i get pissed at every shitty thing about horikoshi’s writing. izuku gets mad at all might for his views on quirkless people and gets into ua on his first try. izuku rightfully does not take bakugou’s shit and calls him out at every opportunity. bakugou’s actions have repercussions. all might gets punished for almost letting bakugou kill izuku in an exercise.

izuku gets pissed over a lot of shit basically. also at one point he either punts mineta into the sun or loudly and publicly makes the argument that mineta should be expelled from ua including evidence and testimonies from the girls. and he encourages nearly all of them to get better costumes.

i haven’t actually written much abt it but if there’s smth i got pissed @ horikoshi for smth in canon it’d be address in this fic bc oh boy am i never spiteful so it’s kind of theraputic to write even tho i haven’t done it in a while.

uh….i have a lot more but man i think i’ve been writing this for like an hour or two idk im gonna finish this before the app crashes or smth. thank you for letting me ramble this got long oops sorry.

[bold]

Boy on the Bike

Read it on AO3!

Summary: Jeremy thinks he might be going crazy. That might be okay, though, because Boy on the Bike must be crazier. Crazy enough to get off his bike, wheel it up the driveway of Jeremy’s mom’s house, rest it against the house, walk over to Jeremy, and take a seat on the steps next to him.

“Why are-- What’re you--”

“You were sad. I’d feel bad if I just left you like that.”

(Or: Jeremy Heere, after having a very terrible day, meets Michael Mell, who inexplicably makes him forget there's any bad in the world at all.)

Notes: i had WAY to much fun writing this first chapter... these boys..... theyre gonna fall in love just u wait. this fic is prolly just gonna be jeremy and michael exploring smth neither of them have ever experienced before: ...............friendship (and eventually romance but shh theyre babies theyre just learning). idk how long this is gonna be but im excited for it

anyway i hope u enjoy this ride

Jeremy Heere is having a Pretty Shitty Day.

The morning began with a freshman spilling coffee in Jeremy’s lap on the bus. That should’ve been a warning sign, now that he thinks about it, that it was going to be a Pretty Shitty Day. Between second and third period, Rich Goranski shoved Jeremy into a locker and asked if he’d pissed himself. At lunch, Jeremy accidentally threw his math homework in the trash with the remnants of his lunch and had to go to class empty-handed. He mixed two chemicals incorrectly in Chemistry and the class had to move to a different lab so the room could be cleansed of toxins. At the end of the day, Christine Canigula bumped into him in the hallway and instead of apologizing, Jeremy gaped at her for three seconds before she walked away, probably creeped out of her mind.

After such a shitty day, Jeremy walked home from school and dug fruitlessly through his backpack for fifteen minutes before coming to the conclusion that he left his key in his room. He’s locked out. Of course, the one time he forgets his key is one of the rare instances in which he stays with his mom for the weekend, and that’s already terrible enough in and of itself. Reluctantly, he pulls out his phone (of course he forgot to charge it the night before, so it’s only at 21%) and sends his mom a text to inform her that he’s locked out.

He’s not expecting an answer, though.

It takes a lot for Jeremy to classify a day as a Pretty Shitty Day, because most of his days are spent uncomfortable and awkward as it is. Sometimes, though, things just stack up until he’s teetering on the brink of a panic attack before first period even ends, and that’s when the day earns the Pretty Shitty Day title.

It’s a stupid thing for him to cry over. Jeremy had been locked out of the house before, but now it feels like such a punch in the face. He has a terrible day and he can’t even go hole up in his room for the remainder of it. He feels even more like a loser than he thought was humanly possible as he sits on the front steps of his mom’s house and sniffles into the sleeve of his cardigan.

At the very least, he can take comfort in the fact that the only people who live in his mom’s neighborhood are old, deaf people. There’s no one around to watch him weep to himself like a fucking idiot.

That is, until Jeremy notices someone.

What looks to be a red speck bikes around the corner onto the street Jeremy’s mom lives on. The street is long and vacant, and the speck is rapidly becoming more identifiable. Jeremy doesn’t mean to stare, but he watches nonetheless as the person on the bike becomes a boy with black hair and a big, red hoodie. He’s not sitting on the bike, but rather riding it while standing, like some kind of dangerous hooligan. Jeremy’s eyes linger for a moment too long and the boy on the bike notices him.

Jeremy ducks his head, hiding his face in his knees in hopes that the boy will just keep going and not spare Jeremy’s creepiness another thought. He holds his breath and waits five, six, seven, eight seconds and just when he thinks the biker is gone, he hears a voice: “Hey.”

Jeremy whips his head up and, lo and behold, the boy on the bike is standing in the middle of the street, still straddling his bike, and looking at Jeremy very attentively. Jeremy blinks at him, jaw slack, and Boy on the Bike must take this as an invitation to continue: “Are you okay?”

Is he okay? No. Of course he’s not okay. He’s just had a Pretty Shitty Day, he’s exhausted, he’s sad, and he’s been swallowing a panic attack for the past seven hours. Is he gonna tell all that to some strange teenage boy he’s never spoken to before? Of course not.

“I’m fine,” Jeremy finally says, in spite of how puffy his eyes must look and how evident his trembling hands are.

Boy on the Bike doesn’t bite. “No, you’re not. You’re crying.”

Jeremy brings a hand to his cheek and finds that he really is still crying. He hadn’t even noticed. “I guess I am,” he says, mostly to himself, but Boy on the Bike hears him nonetheless.

“Are you okay?” Boy on the Bike asks again, and Jeremy doesn’t know what the fuck comes over him, but he answers:

“No. N-No, I’m not.”

Jeremy thinks he might be going crazy. That might be okay, though, because Boy on the Bike must be crazier. Crazy enough to get off his bike, wheel it up the driveway of Jeremy’s mom’s house, rest it against the house, walk over to Jeremy, and take a seat on the steps next to him.

“Why are-- What’re you--”

“You were sad. I’d feel bad if I just left you like that.”

Jeremy blinks at him and then, incredulously, bursts into a fit of giggles. Boy on the Bike looks at him, puzzled, and Jeremy wants nothing more than to stop laughing, but he can’t. “I’m sorry--” he gasps. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry-- I’m not laughing at you, I promise--”

Boy on the Bike gives him a confused smile and waits for Jeremy’s giggles to die out. “You good, dude?”

“I’m…” Jeremy coughs into his sleeve and squares Boy on the Bike with a look. “I’m J-Jeremy… dude.”

Now it’s Boy on the Bike’s turn to laugh, which he does, hard and unashamed. Surprisingly, though, Jeremy doesn’t feel like he’s being laughed at. It’s not the same sly, under-the-breath giggle people do when they’re talking about him behind his back. It’s not the same harsh, sarcastic laugh bullies do when they’re calling him names. Boy on the Bike has a beautiful, contagious laugh. Jeremy can’t stop looking at him and can’t stop himself from laughing, too.

“Sh-Shut up!” Jeremy squeaks through his own laughter. His voice cracks on the “up” and that only makes Boy on the Bike laugh even harder. “You’re mean! I thought you were here to make me feel better.”

Only he’s already made Jeremy feel better.

Boy on the Bike eventually sobers up enough to articulate himself. “Jeremy, huh?” he asks, and Jeremy nods. “Nice to meet you, Jeremy. I’m Michael.”

Jeremy smiles at him. Michael. “Nice to meet you, too, Michael.” Michael, Michael, Michael. It’s a good name. “Thanks for, uh, y’know… stopping to talk to me. That was really cool of you. I could’ve been, like, a serial killer or something.”

Michael pulls a face and Jeremy is quick to inform him that he is not, in fact, a serial killer. “I didn’t really peg you as the serial killer type. I don’t know how many serial killers can be found crying and locked out of their houses.”

“How’d you know I was locked out?”

“Well, Jer,” Michael says sagely, but Jeremy can only think about the nickname he’s already been given. “I don’t know about you, but whenever I’m down in the dumps, the only place I wanna cry is buried under a pile of blankets and my own sadness.”

Jeremy sighs longingly. “That’s exactly where I wanna be.”

Michael places a hand on Jeremy’s shoulder (it’s heavy and warm and comforting and Jeremy inexplicably wants to lean his whole body against Michael’s and find out if the rest of him feels that way, too) and gives it a few small rubs as he speaks, “You wanna tell me what’s wrong?”

“O-Oh,” Jeremy falters, momentarily incapable of forming words with his mouth. “I wouldn’t wanna bother you, Mi--”

“Dude, are you stupid?” Michael asks, with no malice. “I wouldn’t come sit with you if I didn’t wanna help you out, buddy. C’mon, lay it on me.”

Jeremy’s heart flips into his throat and he swallows hard before starting up on the tale of his Pretty Shitty Day. He tells Michael all about the coffee, Rich, his math homework, Chemistry class, and Christine. He tells Michael that he’s had a terrible day and he’s wanted to cry since seven in the morning and now he’s locked out of his mom’s house, which is so much worse than being at his dad’s because his mom doesn’t even care about him and--

“S-Sorry,” Jeremy says abruptly. Michael hasn’t stopped listening, nor has he moved his hand from Jeremy’s shoulder. “My mom’s, uh, a whole ‘nother can of worms.”

Michael nods and doesn’t press. “Next time, maybe.”

“Next time?” Jeremy asks, finding that his voice is suddenly too soft, too vulnerable.

“Next time.” He says it like a promise. He gives Jeremy a chance to steady his breathing before speaking again. “This is your mom’s house?”

“Mhm.”

“You don’t see her much, huh?”

Jeremy shakes his head.

“So you don’t live around here..?” Michael sounds almost disappointed.

“N-No, but I can give you my--” Jeremy catches himself. “Oh, my God, I was about to give you my home address. You’re, like, basically a stranger.” Michael doesn’t feel like a stranger, though. Michael feels like the closest thing he’s had to a friend in a long, long time.

“Oh!” Michael says, actually looking a little flustered at the notion. “No, I couldn’t ask for that--” He hesitates, looking down at his hands and fidgeting with his fingers before willing the words out of his mouth, “B-But I could, uh-- I could ask for your number-- Y’know, like, if you ever need to talk-- I just-- I mean, it’s totally cool if you don’t want to--”

Jeremy bumps his knee against Michael, who looks up at him sheepishly. “Gimme your phone, loser.”

Michael fumbles his hand around in the front pocket of his hoodie before fishing out his cell phone (a clunky old Android, which Jeremy makes note to make fun of him for in the future) and handing it over.

Jeremy punches his number in and Michael peers over his shoulder as he types in “Jeremy Heere.” “You gotta put in an emoji,” Michael says firmly.

Jeremy looks at him and raises an eyebrow. “How come?”

“All my contacts have emojis. Don’t mess with the flow, bro.”

Jeremy rolls his eyes, but scrolls through the emojis nonetheless. “Android emojis are ugly,” he comments absently, earning an offended shove from Michael. Eventually, Jeremy settles on the video game controller emoji. “There,” he says, satisfied with his decision as he hands the phone back over to Michael. “Happy?”

“Very much so,” Michael says, almost as if he doesn’t realize it, as he pockets his phone. Jeremy’s heart flutters. “Now I know that you’re not only a friendless geek, but you’re a friendless geek who spends all his time playing video games.”

That one hurt a little bit. Michael's so cool, Jeremy could tell. Michael probably has lots of friends at whatever school he goes to and probably won't even bother texting a loser like Jeremy. Jeremy must have wilted, because Michael rushes to reassure him that he was just kidding. “I have no room to talk. I do the same thing. I’m the resident friendless stoner at my school.”

Jeremy straightens up. “N-Not anymore!”

“What d’you--”

“You’re not friendless. Not anymore.”

Michael stares at him and Jeremy thinks he’s going to laugh again, but then he does something much better. Michael lunges forward and buries Jeremy in a hug and Jesus Jewish Christ, hugging Michael is so much better than how Jeremy imagined it’d be. He’s warm and soft all over, and when Jeremy noses against Michael’s shoulder, he smells like pine and laundry detergent.

“Thank you,” Michael breathes. Jeremy’s thinking the same thing. He decides maybe it was worth having a Pretty Shitty Day, if he got to meet Michael.

[smalltragedy]

* justice smith, demi man + he/they | you know gabriel de leon, right? they’re twenty three, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, six years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to 1984 (infinite jest) by the used like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole waking up in a body as heavy as the dead, emotions always on the verge of spilling over - you laugh before the punch lands, the belief that every encounter you have will be the last thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 31st, so they’re a scorpio, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 21, est, they/them ) 

hllo this is my second child i think theyre p grand n i love them a lot. as always pls like if u’d like to plot i’d lov to interact with everybody

VIOLENCE TW

mini playlist.

ghosting ;; mother mother / roam the room ;; citizen / art of doubt ;; metric / thnks fr th mmrs ;; fall out boy / heart in a cage ;; the strokes / where is my mind? ;; the pixies / flowers grow out of my grave ;; dead man’s bones / 1984 (infinite jest) ;; the used / blister in the sun ;; the violent femmes.

statistics.

full name: gabriel de leon.

nickname(s): gabe.

birthday: october 31st, 1997.

zodiac: scorpio sun, scorpio moon, gemini ascending.

mbti & temperament: esfp & improvisor / sanguine.

label: the icarian.

hometown: belleville, new jersey.

sexuality: homosexual.

pinterest.

biography.

it’s only rly ever been gabe n his mom n the little new jersey suburbs that r always the same no matter where they go. they dn’t speak abt fathers or brothers or spain or anywhere other than the now, and how its constantly changing bt oddly the same.

his mom’s name is sonia n we love her. she worked a lot as a single mom n p much hs done everything on her own ever since leaving spain.

they dn’t talk abt spain bt we cn talk abt spain n hw sonia hd grown up partially there n partially in the states n hw she’d originally planned to live there forever bt the man she’d fallen in love with ws involved in some. high class dangerous shit n it ws safer fr them to part even if tht involved leaving everything she knew n loved <3

bt its like. ok. bc she hd gabe <3 n they dnt talk abt it so it practically nvr happened. n she tries her best as a mom n usually tht is enough.

they moved around a lot just bc sonia is a very. flighty person. anxious bt nvr seems tht way is just always. tense. gabe didnt think she ws capable of relaxing fr. a rly long time.

she wld commute 2 nyc every morning n after school gabe wld climb onto the train n by the time he got 2 her place of work she’d be just getting off n they’d get a slice of pizza n sometimes they’d go somewhere like central park or coney island (just fr the novelty) bt most of the time they just got back on the train home w/ gabe either doing homework or napping on her shoulder.

when gabe got a little older he’d sometimes skip school n take the train after sonia had already gone so he cld spend the day in nyc. he liked learning bt didnt rly like school. he nvr properly fit in bc of the amt of times they’d move so it felt like nowhere ws. right fr him.

got rly involved in. the punk scene as a young unsupervised teenager n tht led 2 a lot of like. shitty stick n pokes bt also a love of. very loud angry music n a sense of justice tht he held tightly in his fists. got mouthy towards bullies whether at school or in the scenes he involved himself in n started getting into a lot of fights bc of it.

during this, sonia ended up dating n marrying gabe’s stepdad who he calls craig sometimes bt i dnt think thats his name i wont lie to u guys. its partially a joke n partially purposeful disrespect bc gabriel does not trust a single man bt like. man. ‘craig’ is just an accountant. he’s fine he’s a good dude. they once bonded over like. the mets.

violence tw // anyways. when gabriel ws 16 he got into a super super bad fight tht ended rly. terribly n like listen. nobody died bt it ws just. it got blown up very out of proportion n gabe might’ve gotten expelled even tho he wsnt even the one who started it bt thts okay. ���craig’, or paul, suggested tht maybe. a change of scenery wld b good fr gabe n b4 they knew it they were. moving to paul-robert’s hometown of irving, north carolina. violence end of tw //

he wld’ve complained more bt. fr sonia’s sake gabe kept it 2 himself. it made her happy 2 see them all get along anyways n like. idk he cld put forth tht little effort <3

bt honestly like. he didnt rly get into too many fights once they moved down here n even tho sometimes he ws like. ommgg. i hate this town .. its so washed up .. he still made friends n like. the only thing tht changed ws tht it ws a lil harder fr him 2 acquire illegal substances. 

anyways. currently he hs a tattoo apprenticeship n is a professional piercer n like. he plays guitar n writes songs bt thts more of a hobby rn than anything else. mostly focused on paying his rent at port apartments bc as much as he. loves his mom he does not want 2 live with her forever <3 n thts okay! 

personality & facts.

overall xtremely passionate person like god. feels emotions so intensely. every time he opens his mouth n talks abt an interest of theirs its just very like. u listen n ur like oh. gained 2 inspiration. thanks.

clings onto his friends p tightly bc he like. nvr rly stayed in one place fr super super long in new jersey so he nvr made very long term friends n now hes like. very clingy HLKDSHLKFSHLKDG also hates to b alone. subtle desperation behind interactions with ppl he rly wld like to be friends with.

like dnt get me wrong hes gotten into. sm fights bt thts mostly bc he cannot keep his mouth shut n he also cnt stand douchebags he like. always wants to tear them down prob bc he ws a victim of bullying. n u know what. we support him. otherwise he loves ppl bt esp if they hv similar interests 2 him.

like golden retriever who bites kind of. intensely loyal but at the same time is very skeptical. things tht good things do not last very long even though they’ve been doing already fr the last few years. 

also bit of a nerd. they were nvr rly a big fan of school bt theres smth abt a good superhero comic tht draws their attention more than like. any english class evr. bt seven soldiers of victory? classic. big dc fan.

uh. very into like. hardcore music. hardcore rock. punk. if its loud n angry they r into it like so so much. hs sm tattoos is like. super covered in them its partially bc they work at a tattoo shop n partially bc they do not know hw to manage their money well.

ooohh u know what theyre. kinda moody i wont lie to u. very defensive like they dnt evr wna talk abt their past. has experienced Things n they do not wish to discuss them. will usually like. deflect frm conversations he doesnt wna hv.

in tune with nature. loves fkn taking walks. hangs out in the woods by abernathy creek n lilac ridge bc nobody rly goes there n its just. nice

tries not 2 take anything super seriously 2 the point where when he does take smth seriously its a little scary bc theyre super intense abt it. forcibly optimistic even tho on the inside he feels like a total pessimist. lots of. deep down insecurities tht he projects by attaching himself p firmly onto others. >.>

so so so energetic. can never stay still. always hs to be moving around. restless like tht. probably got it frm his mom. overly protective over the ppl he loves. probably got it frm his mom as well.

goes onto Tangents bt also divert frm those tangents n is generally all over the place.

always cold n always looks tired n like he hsnt slept in a thousand years n u know what. sometimes he just does not sleep.

oooohh theyre a vegan. totally into animal rights. devious little demi man beyond that .. loves horror n the paranormal n believes in like. every cryptic. will debate u on it.

erm not. the kindest 2 themself theyre a bit self destructive. impulsive. drives very fast n parties super hard. said i will hv my effy stonem moment. u dont hv to gabe. 

bt ya! luvs oranges n reds n is maybe a short king. hs an eyebrow piercing n like. a lip ring i wont fk around here he IS living his best emo life in 2021. a little outdated on the trends bt thats okay. probably will tell u hes frm new jersey. its a personality trait. smokes the shittiest cigarettes ever.

wanted plots.

just ghosting along ,, dnt even exist 2 me ,, ;; god. firstly just the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs like. spoken to romantically n then dropped suddenly. n then maybe like. one tht actually Hurt bt they cnt avoid each other bt theyre actively pretending each other doesnt exist n its. hurtful bc it ws like. actually smth nice bt <3 ykno FKLFSDHG

hey hey heyy c’maahn i’m just a little guy ;; n this is the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs probably. pissed off n hs either fought or been on the verge of fighting just. unable 2 resist a good bicker-turned-duel.

just blistering in the sun ;; they cld b close friends bt also they cld also not b bt just ppl who. indulge in bad impulsive decisions with gabe. general bad influences on each other’s health n just. no good! party hard bt at what cost. 

n also ;; like ... rly solid good friendships ... flings n maybe an exe or two tht either ended on good terms or just. horrendous, ppl they’ve distanced frm, ppl also frm up north, piercing customers, bt not tattoo customers bc im p sure they’d get fired if they were just tattoo’ing ppl willy nilly, etc. 

[diabolikpersonals]

Like, what do you think of them generally?

alright alright alright alright alright thank u for the opportunity to talk about diaboys!!! I appreciate it ! under a read more bc I ranted forever

LAITO:

My first exposure to dialovers was the anime so my first impression towards Laito was like “oh, he’s the flirty one - oh shit he’s banging her in a church, you cant do that, thats nuts lol” but as I got more into the games, Laito became SO IMPORTANT TO ME??? especially like his relationships, w/ ALL the characters like his brothers and yui and the other families and everything! I especially love learning more about his relationship with Ayato and Kanato because it’s so dang complex. His feelings towards his triplet bros is really complicated because he loves them and you know he loves them but his trauma w/ his mom sort of fucks it all up so he’s got like this genuinely nice and kind and loving personality fighting against this trauma and warped view of the concepts of love and family that Cordelia gave him, and what you get is, “I love my family and I hope they die” and throughout the games u learn more about the reasons why he has those world views and it’s SO GOOD Laito is such a well thought-out character!?! As a writer Laito delights me but as a fan, his whole deal makes me so dang sad djhfghjdkdfd

That’s why I was so fucking satisfied w/ Laito in the Laito vs Shin cd because you got a bunch of the darker stuff surrounding him (his tendency to push people off of buildings, that FUCKING VOICE DROP he does when he’s genuinely mad) and Laito was like...he was SCARY. And he was scaring YUI and he was scaring HIMSELF, too, which made me so sad!! Laito was like crying and punching walls and being like “why am I acting like this??” and it fuckin broke my heart dude. He’s a genuinely good person, he’s so wonderful, but he’s recovering from some really really nasty stuff. So that cd really gave me a sense of like, “Man, Laito hates this just as much as I do.” It makes me want to...idk...it makes me want to give him more opportunities to be good. He really is good!!!

KANATO:

As for my first impression, I think Kanato turned me off right away because I could instantly recognize all the tropes they were gonna use when they were designing him. You can look at him and tell that he’s gonna be the ~yandere~ character (I hate using that word but u know what tropes I’m talking about). As soon as they showed him eating a bunch of sweets I was like “yep.” When they showed us his room full of wax dolls, I was like “uh huh, that seems about right.” And then he yelled a lot and tried to stab Yui for making him french toast or whatever and I was like “ok.........I’ll go start ayato’s route” u know??? just super not my type, and the Kanato vs Azusa cd was torture because Azusa’s so soft-spoken but Kanato’s always yelling at the top of his lungs. I had to keep messing with the volume and it bugged me.

I think I would like Kanato a lot more if he...had a...friend. I think rejet kinda realized that he needed one and they had that in mind when they were introducing Azusa, but that ended up being a pretty bad failure I think. Kanato doesn’t really get along with anyone and he’s pretty open about admitting that he doesn’t like anyone particularly well. I’m glad to see him starting to love Yui genuinely but...idk I feel like every other diaboy has another diaboy(s) that he gets along with really well and it’s always nice to see them acting friendly and even encouraging each other sometimes! Kanato doesn’t really have that kind of relationship with anyone. When Ayato tried to reach out and apologize in LE, Kanato was like “lol kill yourself” and I was actually so fuckin mad at him, I was like “boy if you don’t fix that attitude of yours-”..........I guess I just wish that he had more character development by this point. That scene really hurt.

RUKI:

Basically the WORST first impression ever...my first Ruki scene that I ever saw was when he broke the cat’s neck and I was so pissed. I was like “immediately fuck this guy” and he became my least favorite character right away. And on top of that he was really elitist and one of those jerk intellectuals “ohhh solve this puzzle or STAY OUT THERE IN THE COLD you big dumb idiot. im smart and you’re not” and I was like FUCK this guy, how does yuma put up with him with HIS backstory?

But I hella warmed up to him during MB, like especially during Reiji’s route where Ruki was like “...uh...okay” the whole time jhdghdj that shit was hilarious. Ruki started feeling really real. And I think that like...hm...like if Laito is a genuinely good person surrounded by bad influence, Ruki is the opposite - he’s a bad personality surrounded by good influence. Ruki’s a jerk and he’s been a jerk his whole life but he has these wonderful brothers who love him so much and this lovely angel Yui and he’s just got all these good people who look up to him and he has to be good. This little asshole kid who treated all his servants like shit is now cooking dinner for his three adoptive brothers every day and they love him so much and they love him so much. It’s so fucking satisfying. I love seeing him supporting his brothers even though it conflicts with his personality and his main drive, like letting Kou run away with Yui even though Kou couldn’t become Adam. Ruki’s most important thing in MB was making one of the Mukamis become Adam but he gave that up to let Kou be happy. That shit is so important. Ruki was such a fuckin turnaround for me, I hated him at first but now I love the hell out of him and what he represents for the Mukamis.

KOU:

Kou is great!! I think he’s affected lots of characters in really positive ways, and he’s been affected in positive ways by different characters and it’s really nice to see. For sure he’s still got that trauma from his past but I really appreciate that Kou is in an environment that doesn’t have a lot of reminders of the bad stuff from his childhood. Like, how Kou was sought after for being such a beautiful child, and how he was trapped in a dark place for such a long time. There’s none of that shit when he lives with the Mukamis. Rejet could’ve easily put in tons of haunting reminders about Kou’s whole “too beautiful for his own good” thing but whenever he gets complimented, it’s usually for something different. Azusa will talk about how talented and amazing he is, and Kino’ll be like “idol clothes are pretty nuts huh? lol” and Ruki will be like “you’re working properly after all” and I fuckin love that shit...They could’ve made it so dang hard for Kou, but no, he’s in a much happier place now. He’s nice and comfortable being with these people. That makes me feel relieved lol

I already talked about how he helped Ruki but I think the most important relationship with a diaboy that he has is SUBARUUUUU cuz like, when you look at Subaru’s route you’re like “oh he definitely needs a friend, I’m glad he has a gf but he was so dang lonely and self-deprecating that he DEFINITELY just needs a genuine good friend” and then Kou showed up and he was like “guess what subaru? we’re gonna be friends, I’ve decided” and subaru was like “???” and MB happened and by the end of it Subaru was like “I took everything you said really seriously and I do want to be friends with you..............im not gonna say it out loud tho. let’s just shake hands ok” and I was like AW HECK YEAH!!!!! And then you keep seeing nice little reminders that they’re friends in other games, like in either LP or VC (Im sorry I literally cannot tell these two games apart) they were picking out hair accessories together for Yui, and in the Subaru vs Kou cd, Kou asks Subaru at the end if he had fun, and in LE Kou gave Subaru that pep talk and made Subaru laugh, and Subaru was like “Kou if I’m gonna die then I want you to kill me” and Kou was like “But I don’t want you to die!” and Subaru was like “you dont??? you actually care? about ME???” ITS SO FUCKING GOOD DUDE Subaru needed Kou so badly. Thank god for Kou honestly

KINO:

It was weird like...I was so mad at him during certain routes but I could never actually dislike him. It’s because he’s so dang funny tbh. He literally killed some of my favorite characters but then he would say a funny line and I’d be like “haha, I’m glad kino is here!” like it’s almost scary how charismatic he is towards both the other characters and to me, the player. He asked nicely if he could kill Shu and Shu was like “ok, sure.” Kino is hands down my fav villain because of this. Especially because you can really tell that deep down he wants to be a real member of the Sakamaki family and like he genuinely wants to be friends with people like Yuma and Kou, and he’s got the whole villain-turned-awkward-family-member trope which I LOVE. Like especially in that drama cd where he was like “I never get to go to school so I want to do home ec with you guys! Let’s make donuts!” and Kou was like “ok!!!” and kou tries to be super positive and encouraging the whole time even though Kino was actually secretly plotting to blow the place up. Kino looks like an idiot but he’s a genius tbh

and and and and and and I want him to kiss yuri. I think yuri is super in love w/ kino too, despite the fact that he’s. annoying. thats all I got dhgfdjskj...I love the childhood-friends-to-lovers trope so fuckin much

CARLA:

hey carla fuck you

I was really mad at him for his actions in DF mostly ^^; And tbh it’s really hypocritical because it was a group effort between both of the Tsukinamis, but I ended up loving Shin and hating Carla. Kino also did similar bad stuff to Carla, but I ended up loving him while hating Carla. So, why?

Well here’s fuckin why. Shin and Kino are cute & funny. They have their nice little payoff moments - maybe Shin hurt one of my favorite characters, but then you get to see how bubbly and energetic he gets around his big brother. He was walking one of his wolves around christmas time while wearing a red jacket and a random kid approached him thinking he was santa claus. That’s adorable! For a long time, Carla didn’t have anything like that. And he was a jerk to absolutely everyone, including Shin, who was so dang devoted to him!! Like remember in the DF cds where he was like “hey shin, the plan is we suck her blood until she’s purified from the vampires” and shins like “ok nii-san got it” and he started sucking her blood, exactly like he was ordered to, and then carla came in and STABBED HIM and was like “hey dont touch my property” like SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK CARLA U TOLD HIM TO DO IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!! IT WAS THE PLAN

And he fucked Ayato up real bad in DF so I was so mad...;; I only recently started forgiving him once diatwitter and LE started up. Diatwitter let us see his cute old grandpa side where he fuckin wanders around amusement parks by himself like some kind of cryptid and kou keeps being like “wait was that carla? what the heck??” and LE gave us some pretty nice stuff like carla being like “ur definitely my brother, shin” so...carla is ok I guess...but then again LE also gave us some bad carla moments like “if ur not actually a founder then u lied to me and im gonna kill u” so basically uh?? carla’s just a jerk I think. I’m warming up to him at a snail’s pace but he’s still a jerk. sucks about the endzeit tho, I hope he’s like permanently ok now

[neuropathicgypsy]

I'm only going to say this once and without detail because for one it's no one's business

For two Matt Hagan used those bruises and those video tapes that were stolen to ruin my life

He showed everyone including Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin, the military security we had on base, the Chaplin, the commander, my supposed parents and more. "Who is this mysterious mustached man? Hes too old" when bull shit Matt Hagan knew exactly who he was.

And he only knew where I lived because he said he had to talk to Mark Anthony about the human trafficking and then he always ledt 10 minutes before Mark Anthony got there

Then Jesse did that shit to Mark Anthony wanting to talk to me and always left before i got there, sometimes I'd see him walking down my hall, even exiting the apartment once.

Then one time the night the cam was stolen Matt had pinned me against the apartment building and was Al demanding to me about whatever and all tried kissing me which made me shove him and run while him and Jesse laughed all loudly behind me. Which is traumatizing and I didn't leave the apartment for two weeks and didn't leave alone for over a month.

Because the police came and I went to find Mark alone. To warn him they were looking to arrest him for rape. Had they not laughed it wouldn't had bothered me. But their laughter was sick and disgusting.

So you ask me who should went and had the police after themselves.

Certainly not Mark. Who was a child although older than me.

.

The bruises did not hurt.

Yes Mark Anthony did give them to me. When he did grab my leg yes it pinched and yes it was mean but we either laughed about it or i would hit him and tell him not to pinch my leg

At that time i recall getting the bruises they did not hurt when i got them nor any time after.

All the time i have bruises and Idk where they came from and they don't hurt

2 weeks ago i had 3 fairly large bruises on my calf and Idk how i got them. And they didn't hurt.

I bruise easily without pain on my legs

But my arms have more pain and less bruising.

That is the way my body is. So yes there's dark finger mark bruises because he held his fingers there a long time. But i didnt feel any pain and i knew his hand was there. I knew he was squeezing my thigh.

I didn't stop him nor did i want to.

And that is all I have to say. And believe me, I didn't know how to explain it then.

Jane and Lily were all freaked out and so i didn't knpw how to explain it and they were trying to counsel me on abusive relationships so i had to climb on top of her to show them how i got them and Jane laughed at me.

Because we rarely had sex in front of the nanny cam.

That night we were going out and he came home early and I was smoking and watching the tv and browsing the news papers.

Yes i started smoking at like 2. Whatever. Who cares.

Plus if i was smoking it meant i could escape the human traffic factories easier because I had cigarettes and we would pretend we were lost just looking for a place.... We did a lot of reconnaissance. Incognito and did a lot of things to protect ourselves to be able to escape.

So I don't care about opinions or facts people have to judge my life.

I try to save people everyday and it means sometimes I have to murder kidnappers or smoke before I'm age 5.

So no one has a right to negatively judge me nor Mark Anthony. And what we did.

Unless you were in that exact same situation which none of you were because i was. Me not anyone else.

So I don't give a shit what anyone wants to say

I was a beautiful child with a beautiful body. And I obviously knew what pleased me and didn't.

No one has a right to judge that

I'm only writing because several people have expressed Concern about how I did get them

I would too if I saw them on a girl or a guy.

.....

I rarely do judge people. I do warn people that other people are dangerous to them.

And i do judge situations and experiences.

And i call people names but so what they aren't meant to do any thing but express my emotions and opinions about a person.

Like i said that girl calling on the daycare was a lazy bitch. That was my opinion. Fact is im a single mom too and i had to put my kid in day care before too and my kid was kidnapped from day care.

So a note to remind about diapers on the tummy isn't a big deal. If it were my daughter in a dress I would be concerned how and where people wrote on my daughter. And probably its better to write it on the arm.

But I didn't judge the girl. I judged the situation.

So as i said you could judge my situation but unless yoh were there you dont have the ability because what i did was rare

Very few people went into human traffic facilities in order to free people especially starting at age 2. Saint Luches started at 3. And hes a boy. And he was 2x my height.

And So our bodies matured faster. I was the only 2nd grader with books at school. And i was thin as you all seen.

With a mustache 10 year old Mark Anthony could drive. But he couldn't attend school at his age grade level.

So don't fucking judge us negatively

Be proud we adored each other and had proper sexual engagement. That is what the world can do for us.

And again the bruises didn't hurt.

And I'm upset and pissed off at what Matt did 30 years ago.

I don't care that people see me being me with a grown ass boy that loves me. I don't care at all.

Because there is nothing anyone can do to us.

Not now. They already did their worst to us.

I am proud of who I am and the fact that I enjoy sex with another person whom gives consent to sexual activity.

But the fact is that it is child pornography.

And I bruise easily and I was in harm from Mark Anthony. Ever. He always protected me.

When we weren't in groups. He left me a note when and where he would be. So if he was late i knew where to look for him. Because he would go in the boys only side.

And i was to call Ivana or The Orginal and Real Uncle Donald to have a car take me. Because a few times I would just go look and get a feeling and follow it and not even look for him.... Because i would always think "what is the most dangerous place?" And i would find it. So i had to take a car... Cause i got beat up on... On my face and poor Jesse didn't like the strangulation marks my scarf left him. He should never touched me nor taunted me.

And so we had a whole system. And when I saw Jesse leave my apartment, I told Mark that he was the one i saw in the park and gave the black eye to. That's why they went in and stole the camera. Matt and him. Jesse saw him with me once or twice and got him to do this and that. So that's the story they said. But they were living together and Jesse told him to go get the hook up on me unbeknownst to anyone sane.

When i went in the girls only side he waited in a truck in the street. To make sure i was okay.

That night they assaulted, me i had walked down to pick up Thai food while Mark Anthony was asleep. Cause we would eat it for two days and it only cost us $20 for 4 meals with soup and egg rolls. And we would get it when we had to shop or just shopped and wanted to rest after a long week

We usually ate it on weekends but that was a Wednesday and he had skipped work because of a chest cold.

Because getting the kidnapped people sick wasn't good because it could leak us or it would cause them to simply suffer more if they got sick.

So it would set us back and the people from the Thai restaurant would have to go in when they had news of family and the ability to relocate and they would sneak in to deliver food.

I never liked to eat at the restaurants because the workers there didn't eat and the girls i wanted them to know They were off work and would be. So simply a gesture of not eating to me meant the world would go without so they could be free.

Mark Anthony would eat to show the boys they were one and the same. He was free and they would be and should be like him.

But I always felt it distracted and weighed me down and i have an allergy to MSG. So id make a sandwich at home before i left. Id have a snack or bite or two if one of the girls asked.

One girl was Jewish and was worried about Nazi and being poisoned so she would usually give me a few bites of food to show her it was safe. Almost always. Or she would wait 20 minutes to see how the others reacted.

This is a different restaurant than i mentioned before. And different girls.

And so not eating gave me a way to watch the street if i felt unsafe or to watch the girls to get to know them individually.

Watch them laugh and talk and see how their cultures were different. I could tell how long a girl had been free before she wad kidnapped by her attitude and her voluminous self.

But not always. Some of the loudest had been in their whole lives and were happiest. Those always stayed. They didn't know how to get home.

But they always tried to get to the littlest right away to find out where their homes were so they could go home right away.

"We can get you home fastest" they would always say.

So I've had a very proud life. I'm not arrogant about it. I barely remember it. We did what we had to do to stop greed and abuse.

We returned them all. Clones. Humans. Aliens. It didn't matter. We trusted them and sent them home.

We were very young and naïve. That doesn't take from what we did. We did the best we could

So now we have learned in our years and it's a different kind of WWIII. As i said it's as good as over. But we still need to finish and we will.

All these wars, they have all been about the same, human trafficking but it was always covered

England told the Chinese to tell the Japanese the USA stole their people to be slaves. When it was England. Unknown to any, we had our own country enslaved.

So this is the first where it's been out in the open.

And we planned and planned and planned before returning to Earth, Mark Anthony and I.

So while y'all may think oh you were all young and shouldn't been having sex.

That isn't the case. Aliens should not be on our planet lying and trying to destroy us.

For more than 5 years Matt Hagan has been directly in my way. Since 2015.

Not until my daughter's intuition to change her 16th. Birthday celebration and i finally see Saint Luches again did anything fluid come back to me.

September 15 2019

And in that short amount of time we've been able to rescue about a Trillion people.

So make sure when you're pointing fingers you point the correct ones in the correct direction.

The nanny cam was, yes in front of the chair. What you can't see is the front door behind Marks big head.

You also don't see when Some one would open the door we would both slide to the floor.

Even if we were expecting someone with a key.

The Thai restaurant had a spare and Uncle Donald or Ivana had the other

My Uncle Dad knew where i was at all times had a list of apartments at his desk at work where it was safe. The apartment was closest to the bunker and restaurant just like when i would stay with Jane. Although Jane's was much closer, hers was between the restaurant and the bunker

Whilst this apartment was the apartment then the restaurant then the bunker when going North from the apartment. So it was a lonlier walk than at Jane's and how Jane and Lily could So easily insert themselves into my operation.

Because in the beginning I did walk. And it would be cold and stark. With them i felt warmth and comfort and happiness, excitement. Walking home... The sidewalk was cement like their walls, their homes they never wanted nor asked for. The buildings empty and dark.

The lights from the Thai restaurant would lighten my load and so when i got home, i was happy to be there and less sad about the girls i left behind.

The Thai restaurant's lights spilling onto the sidewalk as i huddled myself home were a beacon of hope always shining bright.

Like a lighthouse in the storm of my mind.

So none of you know what Matt Hagan did And he's all telling his group chat and asking for advise.

There is none. He set us back 30 years and started human trafficking himself.

There's nothing he can do.

There's no way i can stop him from spreading child pornography. But at least its mine and not some child being raped by an unknown man. Or some one that parades around in the sunlight as a doting father to the little girl he touched and tormented behind closed doors.

So people wanted to know what gave me the bruises. It wasn't a monster.

The monster tells a sob story once he gets caught and acts like he wants to fix it.

When really he destroyed it and he's discreetly bragging about it. And neglected to mention he himself killed the head chef and best detective at the Thai restaurant in 1997.

I know you'll never actually understand how meaningful it is to be able to be the one to help people be set free. How destructive it is to a persons soul and heart until you do it yourself.

Until you eat bites of food for a Jewish girl who is scared of Nazi ... How honoring it is to be that person that is that trusted by extreme. While girls tease her down the row about dying of the food they ate. And i tell them "eat some of hers, it's good. You must be a bad person to get the poison"

Then the girls changing and trusting and loving each other more. They all ordered different food each night and eventually the girl who teased and was a forever stay moved herself and her food down and shared off the plates with the Jewish girl. Even ordered less beef and more shrimp because the Jewish girl told the forever girl, "well if you are going to stay longest you'll eat the most and you should eat most of what you like best"

I watched the world change and get better for the most pained people, children really.

And Matt Hagan purposely destroyed it more than once over and over.

So if you run across the pornography of my childhood, dont be ashamed of it.

Watch it. See my face. See his. The desire we have for each other. See how in love we are.

And know i will remove every fucking alien from this planet and prevent any from coming in again and never will we have dead or human trafficking again for eternity.

We came back because of WWII and how Germany was acting. Killing all our humans just as they did in Africa.

Look it up. There's not a lot of Africans in the world. Once ago we all African. Every single one of us.

An Egyptian now isn't black. They're tan.

Mark Anthony was black as night. I was lighter skinned but still African.

Obviously now you can see I am stark white and still lighter than Mark Anthony.

At one time our skin was pink another time blue. So it has changed.

The whiter is the most fed up. We don't even want to resemble something on the planet. What is white? Clouds and some flowers.

No dirt is white unless it's infested with salt.

Im done. I'm all fuck you die on a second chance im not even gonna play. Some one goes near that car i got a guy burning alive in. It's gonna have an explosion to let you know to back the fuck up.

Mark Anthony will draw a line of fire that ends where it started -- a circle.. To protect his dying from being interrupted and to stop anyone from trying to interrupt.

But if you notice. Its a circle that ends where it started. Which means the world will return to its intended ways.

Me? Im all get the fuck out the way you see it? Hear it! Make sure you'll see it.

My shit is loud. But in that video posted tonight. You heard all the sounds i made. The sounds He made certain areas make you didn't. But my sex is quiet.

Which is why y'all don't get details. And if you notice, I do talk frequently about sex but i don't talk about what happens during it.

Because i can't explain it. Sex with the right person is something that is unexplainable.

It can be mimicked with anyone but its usually for a short time

But real authentic great sex with your soulmate is unexplainable with words. So I don't bother.

So. Running across my childhood pornography is a rare event.

It's not that i prefer people to see it. But since it has been posted... Don't be ashamed of me.

Don't be ashamed of you for really looking at It in depth and not feeling sexual about it. Or feeling a sleeping part of your sexuality you thought was dead.

I haven't been advocating soulmate matches constantly because I don't know what the Hell im talking about.

So when you watch it know those two people know what the Hell they are talking about. Just as I said about William and Kate.

They know, too.

So I'm not at all shamed. I'm proud of myself just as I am about William and Kate being together.

So in a way i most definitely deserve this video tonight for pointing them out.

But no one on this planet deserved what happened 30 year ago.

It's part of why Mark and i are not together now and why it took me seeing Saint Luches at a Knight event at a Renaissance Faire completely on accident.

And to look at a Disney Princess Fairytale when the Princess is hidden away until her 16th Birthday like Sleeping Beauty perhaps...

The monsters did get unleashed. But this time. They will die. Just like any real Fairytale.

Unlike Disney, my Princess is safe and will always be.

Unlike Disney it wasn't one girl the people feared for.

Its the whole world

My daughter was born on the anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr's "i have a dream" speech. And we celebrated her 16th Birthday late.

Where I once again saw Saint Luches the boy that allowed me at 2 years old to find my way through Iraq, Afghanistan, Isreal, create Al Qeada, ISIS and give Abu a name of honor.

And so Martin Luther King Jr. Sir. Your dream will be achieved.

Thanks to one little 16 year old child.

And had Matt Hagan not killed and eaten 14 of Declans soulmates we made from dirt like how the people were initially created

And i hadn't given birth to that little Annabelle for Declan. Then likely it would not happened the way it occurred.

So if you hadn't recognized a miracle before. You should now.

Regardless of what happens between now and then, as I promised Matt Hagan in Dunedin Florida when he paraded around as Dallas Frazier, "you will not get in my way"

And in 2002 when he tried to impregnate me with his semen, "you will not defeat me"

A long the way he's beaten me.

But no more.

I'm very proud of the world for fighting and standing together and surviving this traumatic lifetime we are living.

Its been A lot worse. And we are gonna make it better

That is why i am white as a cloud. Cause I will fucking kill from the Heavens if anyone succeeds in ending my life. I swear to you now and forever that i will.

Oh I also wanted to say I was pleased how Tumblr dash of the few I follow looked happier today.

Friday will be rough.

Sunday is super bowl. So keep in mind this will be the last time we watch commercials of products made by human traffic victims.

As long as we stick together and stick to the fight and resolve to remove people from those types of facilities

And we all are.

Next year super bowl will be less morose.

So, let's go 49ers!

I'm feeling Kansas (Wizard of Oz) everyday. I think we all need a break ;)

Ok ok i have a Kansas City Chiefs blanket at home cause it was on sale... And I've always liked the 49ers cause their name. And their helmet style.

So I'm impartial, really. And if i think too hard I'm gonna be all let's go WiZard of Oz!!!

So I'll remain impartial but I got a feeling on Kansas.

So let's go 49ers! Lets go!

;))

So Saturday just kick it on some downtime. Listen to music. Im sure allot of cleaning for the Sunday will occur so crank up the stereo, open the Windows and let some fresh in. Not all the Windows and not if the weather is too cold of course but let some fresh in.

We all need some fresh air.

Love y'all. Don't forget. We can't save the world if we don't love us.

💞💞💞💞💞💞💋

[youseriousjayse]

Oh shit. I wanna fuck my boss. This is...not good.

I stg I barely caught myself from just walking over and kissing them while they were saying something ridiculous after the shop was closed. Oh fuck oh fuck. THis is bad. They’re married and have kids and they seem like a good person but sometimes…I definitely think they’ve flirted w me before. And I seem to be a favourite for no apparent reason. They talk about their spouse and their personal life all the time to me (esp their spouse), but I’ve only ever heard them mention their spouse like twice to other workers. And they compare me to their spouse all the time. Always saying I sound just like them or I do this or that just like them. ANd I would definitely go for it if it was an option which prob makes me a horrible person, but that’s okay I already knew that. 

Idk how they manage to be both “ur really hot” and “ur the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.” It’s maddening. And they’re so fucking funny and that’s my weakness and they’re always trying to make me laugh. idek how old they are. in their twenties im 96% certain. Im horrid at guessing age. there’s def at the v least 5 yrs b/t us. but idrk. I don’t even hypothetically want anything serious. I literally just wanna be able to fuck them and feel mushy about them on the side and end it when I leave next july. Obv this isn’t ever going to happen but thinking about it hypotheticlly helps me short my shit out. idk. idk. i really like thm and they seem to like me. And the thing is it’s not even just about wanting to fuck them. I care about their kids and that means a lot bc i fucking hate kids and one of theirs is an attention whore and i rlly hate that type of kid. but i like them bc they are my boss’s kids and my boss loves them. And I love hearing more about them (even tho it’s always p sad shit about them acting up in school and always being upset bc my boss is never home)

Just…..wow. if anyone needed more proof im fucked up. have at it.

Seriously tho on the seeming interested in me and showing favouritism front, they are…so protective of me. Like they are Never like this with the other employees, and it’s definitely not like I can’t defend myself. The most marked example would be the guy who runs the bodega across the street.

He came in one day, screaming about how my manager had accused his son of stealing. So they were like, I’m not sure what you’re talking about but I’m sorry if there was some sort of miscommunication. And he just kept screaming at them and calling them a little bitch and a f*ggot repeatedly, and threatening to bash their fucking head in. And they were just taking it all very calmly and professionally and saying ‘I don’t recall this happening, I’m sorry if you heard differently’ even though he was physically pushing them and still threatening them and calling them all sorts of things. Then he finally left, but not twenty minutes later he came back, just as angry, shouting the same stuff and hurling around slurs and threats and pushing my manager around. Again, they kept very calm and responded reasonably and evenly the same stuff they had before.

Again he eventually left. But then he decided he had apparently still not had enough so he came back a third time. Just as angry as before, just as hostile and antagonising. The assistant manager on duty had come up front the last time to see what was happening, but had not intervened. However this time she tried to help, also calmly saying the same things as the manager. She had been working the day before and seen the guy’s kid come in and nothing like that had happened, so he started calling her a lying fucking bitch and saying he was gonna kill both of them, and kept more and more violently shoving my manager, which they continued to just calmly take.

Eventually the guy was just was repeatedly calling them a f*ggot again and again and again. And I, also calmly, asked if he could just please stop saying that word and he fucking rounded on me and started really laying in calling me a little bitch and all sorts of things, which I didn’t react to at all, because I have an excellent poker face. But I have Never seen my manager angry at all. Not even a little bit. But they were fucking furious, and they shoved him roughly back to the door (mind you he’s a big fuckin guy) And got right up in his face and fucking snarled Get The FUCK Out Of My Store (I did Not know actual snarling words was a thing, I thought it was just smth writers said to make the angry words more emphatic, but it is a Thing™) and shoved him straight through the door. And then they just took a deep breath and turned back around calmly as ever and was like ‘sorry about that’ to the other customers and started rearranging the counter like usual.

And that whole situation has come up twice since then when we were talking (it was months ago), and both times they were like yeah it was whatever, but when he started yelling at You I fucking snapped. And I’m like. Yeahhh how do I take this. Because I am not defenseless and I don’t look like it and I’m not tiny or fragile looking, we have several other employees more likely to feel the impulse to protect but,,,they never do? It never even seems to occur to them?

Just the other day I had a lady come in who was clearly spoiling for a fight. Rude and aggressive as fuck, but I treated her calmly and professionally bc that’s what I do, but she just kept saying dumb shit, so I kept responding, not in any offensive or upset way, just repeating the facts in a calm manner. She really started yelling and was like 'I don’t like ur fuckin attitude you keep talking back you’re getting all smart with me.’ And I (again. Very calmly.) Explained that I was simply answering the questions she asked. And she was like Where’s your fuckin manager bc you’re being rude as fuck you just keep talking back.

So my manager was at the register next to(?) mine(the counter is like an L shape and has registersat either side of the corner). And they turned around and said 'I don’t hear anything unprofessional or rude’ but she kept yelling over them and talking about how rude I was, so they kept saying I wasn’t doing anything wrong, so they were like 'Okay you can go now. Please leave the store’ and gave her the corporate number when she asked for it angrily, saying she was gonna complain about us (like so??? Fine. Here’s my name and the store # idgaf).

After she left and we took care of the couple of customers left they turned to me and were like 'wow she was really spoiling for a fight.’ And I was 'yeah I mean I saw it when she came in and was super aggressive right off the bat. She was so angry for no reason. Like…chill lol’ and they gave me a sort of look and were like 'I don’t know how you deal with that (((which, mind you, every employee, and Definitely them, deals w shit like that without going off))) I feel like it bothers me a lot more when they get like that to you, than it actually bothers you’. I just shrugged, but again……they dont,,,,do that for other employees. They always stick their neck out for me or get angry (I mean as close as they get to angry, excepting the thing w the bodega owner) on my behalf. It’s…what am I supposed to make of that?

Literally if they’re around and a customer tells me to lighten up or smile or smth (bc my face is just really unexpressive unless I put a lot of effort in) they’ll just smoothly come over and be like 'I’ve got the smile for ya’ or if someone is being aggressive or harrasing about it, they won’t even pretend to be cheerful and nice, they’ll just be like 'My employees don’t get paid to smile.’ Which,,,I’m not the only one who never smiles. Actually it’s just my manager and one of the assistant managers that always smile. The rest of us are p brusque and more obviously dead inside and dislike interacting with people. But again, they’ve never done that or said anything for another employee (that I know of, obv I’m not always around, but I’m around enough to feel like I practically live there).

And just. Bloody hell, they will talk about aggressive customers and tell me the customer got in their face and will be like 'seriously, like this’ and move their face so we’re barely not touching. Like. ???!?!?!????? And they get real close to me and brush by me a lot. Mind you, they do not do this to other employees (esp the face thing), but they’ll like lean over my shoulder to look at my paperwork or make fun of me (not like in a mean way just something stupid) or they’ll come over to put their numbers in (bc we need higher clearance on the computers for like,,,almost everything it’s so stupid) and they’ll like get right up next to me or squeeze in front of me. Which again, they do not do to others, and no other employee does that to me or anyone else.

If this was a book ppl would be pissed about the slow burn like Okay Why Aren’t Things Happening Already??! But unfortunately real life and an actual human being is more complicated than that. And I don’t know what to do with it.

~update: they just turned thirty. Fuck. I’m just barely twenty.

Edit: New jeans. very nice new jeans. dammit please stop rearranging the shelves in front of me while i’m trying to work, your ass is distracting. And a new tight tight jacket too and they wear it with the sleeves pushed up right below the elbow and that’s just. Always hot. The fucking jeans together with that stupid cursed jacket makes it incredibly difficult to look away. They’re just hhhhhhhhh I can’t. This is. So much.

YEAH I could prolly go on about them forever, but I know this is super obnoxiously long. I don’t know who I’m apologising to tho bc literally nobody reads this. Which is prolly why I overshare but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[pellicient]

vent TO ME

hahahaha well this will be venting to everyone i guess but whatever the more the merrier

so one of my best friends is in school at baylor and since high school she’s had health problems, usually concerning her brain. She had brain surgery a couple years ago and has seizures every once in a while. she had to drop out of her first semester of college to have surgery last fall. after that, she went back to texas (and we all live in indiana so i mean it’s a trek. every time something happens her mom has to fly out there). she had two seizures yesterday and won’t go to the hospital, is complaining about having to see a neurologist and i know she has reasons for it but it’s SO annoying to me that she won’t do anything about it. she literally addresses that fact that she’s being extremely stubborn but all she’s worried about is school. anyway, it’s me and her and one other girl and the 3 of us are best friends and she’s telling all this stuff to both of us now over text and being a bitch and i’m not even responding because i’m SO pissed off at her. i mean pissed off because i want what’s best for her and she’s completely ignoring the fact that she needs to come to a school closer to home. every time she has a seizure she’s out for a day or a week and her friends have to take care of her, which is unfair to them. then she gets stressed because she’s behind in school and the curriculum at baylor is tough enough without missing a week. and she addresses that all of this is unfair to everyone involved and STILL does nothing about it. she’s a very optimistic person but it’s gotten to the point where i don’t she’s even addressing reality. so anyway i’m on the phone w my mom screaming about this because i don’t want to text her and say something really rude. she knows what i think about all this and she’s literally in denial and i’m quite honestly seething. 

and so on top of that school is kicking my ass and it really shouldn’t be but i’m just not motivated, can’t focus, idk what’s going on at ALL and that’s frustrating me too. also im getting rly pissed off at everyone in a relationship which just means i want a boyfriend but even if i talked to boys i don’t have TIME for that so it’s stupid but i just don’t have any really close friends here at school, i have a couple girls i’m friends with from last year and i love all the people i work with but when i’m not with them i’m by myself and i think that’s starting to affect me. i mean i love being alone but at the same time it is nice to have a physical someone to be with ya know??? my parents might be coming down on friday so that’ll hopefully perk me up until i’m home for TG, and the weekend after that my friend is coming down for the serbian tailgate we have every football season and i think that will REALLY help because i think i just need to get drunk and have some fun and not think about school. which i think is my main problem, all i think about is school and it’s stressing me out because i have so much to do but i just can’t make myself do it. i guess it’s good i’m at least running to avoid doing homework bc that’s ya know healthy and all but i just need to find a way to make myself be productive UGH okay idk where this is going i’ve been talking for so long so anyway whoever reads this thanks for listening yo peace out

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Jack: everyone on the internet calls it a miracle that,we're alive

Me: really?

Jack: babe. Remember how I said earlier that sometimes you just look really stupid?

Me: it didn't seem like a miracle to me...

FBI: Well you should ask one of the cops then. Cause I ain't ever seen anyone deader or a room more filled with natural gas to the point where ee could not see for over two hours. We had to feel along the walls with a hope and a prayer we were doing it right to get them off the wall, using night vision goggles on our gas masks.

Me: well I don't have access to the tv channels... That's how I do it every day... Blind..

FBI: what did you do that day any way besides listen to their hearts to see if they would live?

Me: that was all... Well i burped at one of them... Sometimes they don't like to just be living they like something funny. I only did 2 tho... Brian was already awoke.

FBI: yeah he did that on his own. But Sabrina they didn't need any medical treatment. They just came back to life but how?

Me: some dead hang around their body until it's safer to get back in. Some that have had training.

Jack: IDK what I did baby but I was just there

Me: you remember where you were before?

Jack: the wall. Then just watching you but out of body like I sometimes do when I'm sleep but that was all. I seen you go to the store and I tried handing you your purse but you didn't seem to notice

Me: well I didn't know you were dead in the car

Jack: well you didn't even say thank you but you seemed to notice i was there when you got down. You said "well that was weird but not so much. It will be better when you get done being an ass hole and actually get the nerve to come see me. But let's go jn the store." I think. Did you?

Me: probably when I shut the door. I say it so much.. I don't really notice.

FBI: So what about the other 4?

Dinah Julie. My dead mom: i did. This momma. I said "well let's get back in now. Your girls are waiting." She knows how i do it. just gently glide over and shove them in at the light of speed.

My dad: so you just shove them in huh?

My mom: well they don't go. She just listens to their hearts. Oddly they took D down first and she just happened to go down and she knew he was on the floor and that was that.

Me: its weird that i didn't know it was him.

My mom: well shit you should had you seen his whole torso and all

Me: i just wasn't expecting him. I think i would wanted to know why he was there and

My mom: wanted to control

Me: cause a scene more... Get in the way. I Just shut up and work around things that I dont realize... That aren't that important... At that moment... Like i would had mommed out and been all why the Hell did this happen this way and WTF. Not control but know and then people will have to stop and deal with my drama and it causes more of a mess.. Because had i realized i would been upset. I knew there was a certain set of people up to 6... But the extra 2 i was not aware of

Jack: so excuse me ma'am

Me: i was mad at yoh.

Jack: haha.

Me: apparently for getting kidnapped!.

FBI: i don't wanna laugh but..

Me: but so the fact that there was more people didn't really matter because they were being taken care of.

Mom: well you didn't even take care of any of the Germans! It was the old guy you burped at!

Me: the people I'm closest to. I know them and i know their soulmates. And i can't watch their soulmates suffer any more because I've watched it a lot and iy hurts me a lot to see it. Not that the other people aren't important or significant but those two impact my life greatly and most often.

Jack: every single time i get kidnapped all you do is get pissed off at me. Time before last you fucking yelled at me "fuck you and your fucking Dali lllama that you rode in on!!" And you were so fucking pissed and your eyes were red, your brown part. And I was all... "Fuck idc what you say. I'm gonna live" and I felt really stupid because I was sure i was gonna die... Because I was shot in my lung and i thought it got ky heart. And you said that. Fuck you and your fucking Dali Llama you rode in on. I never heard that shit in my life. And i just saw a llama all clean and fresh snd i knew i was dead and you said "the whole fucking world seen that! Shut the fuck up! Go to sleep you're on my fucking nerve" next thing i knew I was in an American Chopper... And i said "thank you" and you said "yeah fuck off" and i said "fuck you bitch!!" And i started to cry and you smiled this slick sick smile all sly... Tilting your head so no one around could see it. And i knew. You said "you're welcome" and i started laughing and i said "i hate this bitch. I'm gonna fuck her hard" then about 6 weeks later after i got out of the hospital in Germany I was at Circle K in Belen and I was just got into town the day before and i smelled this girl in line and i was explaining to you "babe this girl ... I haven't smelled you in so long but she smells just like you where did you say you were?" And this girl did like you and reached back and scratched her head and when all uggghbbhh and i thought no way is that you. So i said it again and you flashed your left arm up your back to scratch it. And you said "oh my fucking God I'm going to kill something" and the cashier said "bad day?" And you said "no. Some stinky boy who is about to --" and i had grabbed your hand you had behind Your back and you didn't move or try to kill me or scream or even pull away. And so i stuck my head up next to you and said "she means me"

Me: and you smelt fucking good although your little beard was ragged... And i was all Fuck this goddamed ass hole sniffing chicks and shit like he's a school boy in love so I kissed your fucking face. But i didn't know it was you.

My mom: his point is that she actually saved his life then, too. I gave her his coordinates and she emailed every person she could think of and even posted it public so someone could find him ASAP. And they found him within 15 minutes. Not next to alive. But completely dead. And i told her. "Uh Your soulmate is dead you know" and she said "oh" "reached over metaphysically and shook his foot and said "dead people don't have sex, don't you know?!" And the first thing to come to life was his dick! I swear to you! I even asked him "did you miss your legs jumping into your feet and put both feet into your penis?" And he's still got no blood pumping in his other head and he says "i think she'll like" sick little bastards. Ive seen her walk into a McDonald's and find a shot gun victim shot in the chest and lean down and whisper "hey im gonna get some food. I think they got hot fries" and shoowm they come right back to life! Talk about enticing a fellow! She does that a lot. Just give Some one the thought they left off on is the best way she always says but if you can't figure that out, bribe.

Me: McDonald's is always easy. Food. If that don't work. Shopping. Sometimes its back to work or home but that yoh can usually tell. Most the time in reality it's the hospital... But I remember that one dude. He was all bleeding and all sat down and ate some food he had ordered. A quarter pounder big Mac they had them back then and some fresh medium fries. And a large soft drink. Coke with a small ice. He wanted the ice for a small cup not the large. He had just got off work. See he just got up off the floor all "where my food. Get. Out the way miss" and sat down and ate. Man he needed a transfusion... I wasn't sure what all went down. I just sat down near him whistling and all.. And he wolfed his food down and he said "man i don't feel so good" and fainted. Man i felt bad. He fell in slow motion just halfway... I went to help him sit up and slipped on this puddle of blood... He must had bled out half his blood. Most of the time i didn't go to the hospital with them. But him i did. He died. A lot. He didn't have enough blood. So i stopped the dude cause he kept zapping him. I said "you can't do enough electricity if he don't have enough of the joints -- the jolts are too much you're gonna fry his self and he already ate those fresh. He ain't got no juice in his wires.... I see you're not an electrician.he ain't got no blood!!! See You're gonna need 3 bags of saline for there to be enough liquid in his veins for his heart to even pump. Hes empty. How you gonna run a car without no gas?!" Finally the EMT eyes lit up said "you meant zapping him won't do no good. You called me froggy and i been lost since then Cause you know that ain't my name" "its because your voice. Like you got a frog in your throat. Well juice him up, Vince!" "Man you act like you aint from the Bronx, i swear. You didn't think you would get shot in there?" "You can't shoot an angel my buddy" "well what did he do that was so wrong then?" "That's not what I meant" "but you did get shot and it bounced off" "oh that's just my mom. She's my bullet proof vest"

Jack: how come I didn't get your mom?

My mom: cause you got your own and she saved your. Cranium! That's why you got shot in the lung. But tree said not to save you from it and we got upset! Until you got a boner and we thought it was funny

Jack: you know how i got kidnapped and shot?

Me: checking on a "homeless shelter" and they thought you were an actual kidnapper and they kidnapped you and held you hostage until your time was up and no one saved you so they killed you?

Jack: what the fuck babe

Me: i told you I'd kill your dam horse, too. Did you know that's what happened?

Jack: not until this fucking second "DAD"

Me: I told you all that shit about what he did in Iraq with that barbaric guy. And how he was in on 911 And how he used drones to shoot Iraqis for no fucking reason. I wrote it. I told everyone.

My mom: that's not Jack's fault so why.

Me: he was supposed to know. I wasn't supposed to leave him at Circle k. But who else was there? Alex Laughlin And I couldn't stand the sight of him. I got sick and i had to leave

Jack: well you told me to get the fuck out the car

Me: because I thought you were him! And you got out and every one went over and including Matt Hagan and i was all fuck this shit. I'm not doing this, I'll get myself killed.

Jack: well thanks a lot "dad" for getting me fucking killed and pretending to care

Me: i fucking told you. I hated you Jesse and I meant it. You fuck with me one more fucking time you're gonna eat fucking dirt. Do you understand?

Jesse: no

FBI: Sabrina so you're telling me that Jesse You're always emailing is a terrorist?

Me: yeah why didn't you know that?

FBI: because hes a dam liar. Mother fuckers of God. He calls them homeless shelters. That you run. But you don't do that shit you build them their own houses

Me: exactly. I don't fuck with home less people. They dont want homes. I bought some and then the homeless rented out the houses and moved back oj the streets. They explained to me they prefer to live outside. So i don't fuck with homeless. Take them food. Make sure they got umbrella and plastic sheeting for rain storms and blankets and so on and feed them but don't touch them. Leave them where they be. I teach my daughter that "they are homeless because they want to be" granted that isn't all. Some have other circumstances. But I dont fuck with homeless. They live under the stars. No rules, the truest most free people in the world. I dont fuck with them and it PISSES ME OFF YOUD USE MY NAME on a HOMELESS SHELTER, how fucking dare you. When its KIDNAPPING.

Jesse: well what do you want me to do? I'm here to please you!

Me: choke to death and die. Choke on your lies. And die. What the fuck do yiu think.j

Jesse: no