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kur0m1bab3 · 3 years ago

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My god this was so.. oh my god this was so beautifully written literally on the verge of tears, got a thug crying in the club☹️

crescendo ~ track 03

“when i look at you, my body does things i cannot explain but it must be synonymous with love. yet i fear when you look at me it isn’t the same. so i ask; can you see me? why can’t you see me? what else do i have to do for you to see me with your heart and not your eyes?”

timeskip!akaashi x mangaka!black fem reader genre: fluff, workplace romance, mutual pining, tiny bit of angst if you turn your phone sideways warnings: slightly suggestive, mentions of bodily harm, jealous akaashi, the word “kill” is used once word count: 5,188

a/n: the song is mostly in japanese so i put the lyrics in romanji and what’s in parentheses, ( ), is the english translation. also mangaka = manga author. also also taglist is still open for this series, link is in my pinned post !!

playlist: spotify apple music

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p.s// play me on repeat <33

You want him.

You crave him.

It was a type of yearning comparable to a willow oak begging for the rain after water becomes scarce.

But he’s always out of reach, always slipping through your fingers like the finest sand. He’s near, but never close. You can’t feel his heart or his warmth, but oh how you desperately wanted to. He was always five steps in front of you and it seemed as though you could never catch up. Even though you were running at full speed, the gap just widened, and you were left only with your wandering thoughts on what could be.

boku wa kimi no koto ga sukidakara (because i like you)

Everything about him from his voice right down to the way his left index finger taps the small wooden table the two of you sat at, ignites the flammable material that is your heart. You can’t help but stare at him in slight awe, your lips slightly parted as you drink in his features.

kimi no koe wo kiko etai kara (because i want to hear your voice)

“You know, maybe if you stare at your work as much as you stare at me, you won’t have so many spelling errors. I promise the dictionary is just as interesting as I am.”

You snatch your manga drafts back as you speak, your body growing hot from embarrassment.

“Don’t you think you’re giving yourself a little too much credit? The dictionary is quite fascinating and you are well, you.”

“Oh, how you hurt me. How will I recover from the words of a serial misspeller?”

“Maybe you should replace “misspeller” with something else because I’m having the sudden urge to wrap my hands around your neck.”

A sly smile makes its way onto the dark-haired man’s face.

Sometimes you make things too easy.

“I learn something new about your interests everyday. But don’t you think that’s a bit inappropriate for the workplace?”

You roll your eyes at his statement, expecting nothing less.

“What? Bodily harm? Because that’s the only thing I’m talking about. Anything else floating around in that head of yours is purely from your own disgusting imagination.”

Akaashi lets out a quiet laugh at your comment, appreciating the fact that you always kept the banter going. But his subtle laughter turns into a sigh of realization.

Akaashi was quite the hypocrite, calling you out for staring when he was much worse. Not a single day would go by where his eyes did not linger on you. It was like watching his favorite movie and you were the star actress. And regardless of his own hypocrisy, now wasn’t the time to break tradition. Like clockwork his blue-gray eyes lock onto you, capturing the essence of your beauty in his mind forever.

itsu mate mo mate ageru yo (i’ll wait for you forever)

You weren’t paying attention to him, too focused on all the small sticky notes detailing his suggestions and highlighting your mistakes. Keiji always caught things you missed and explained anything you might not fully understand, it's what made him such an amazing editor. You only wished there wasn’t so much to catch. It was a small blow to your pride every time he would point out a simple misspelling or incomplete text boxes. Despite your blooming crush on him, you wanted to show him that you were perfectly capable on your own. That you deserved your spot here just like everyone else.

Yet, you failed to realize that you had nothing to prove to him.

From the day the two of you met, Akaashi knew that earth was much too small a place for you. You belonged in the heavens amongst the stars and he would do anything to get you back home. That’s why he was a little hard on you, he wanted you to reach your full potential and that couldn’t happen without a little shove in the right direction.

However, there were times where the editor’s heart couldn’t handle the consequences of his own feedback and this moment would serve as one of them.

Your glossed lips settle into a hard line as you stare at all the revisions and when the small sigh escapes your mouth, Akaashi clenches his fists in guilt. He knows that the irritation you felt was never towards him but to yourself instead. You were your own worst critic and sometimes he wondered if his words only added fuel to the fire.

And at times like these Akaashi resists the urge to hold your face in his hands and tell you that a small spelling error meant absolutely nothing. That you could do no wrong in his eyes and that everything you created was beautiful beyond comparison. But all he can do is watch, too timid to ever mix business with pleasure.

You start packing up having seen enough of your own work, making a mental note to fix it later that night. Glancing over at your editor, you hear him mumble about lunch and a small voice in your head convinces you that the next words out of his mouth would be an invitation. But when he gets up with nothing more than a simple goodbye and reminder of what you should have done by the next meeting, you curse at yourself for thinking otherwise.

nande nanimo kamo kizukana indayo? (why don’t you ever notice anything?)

It’s been almost a year of working together and you still can’t get your heart under control. You made a personal vow to never let your emotions get the better of you, never wanting to jeopardize your position at Shonen Jump. But sometimes Akaashi made it so incredibly hard. Especially when he would lean over your shoulder, trapping you between his arms with his chest pressed up against you and his breath tickling your ear. His voice smooth and mellow flowed over your heart like thick molasses, turning it into the sweetest confectionery. There were times where the dark-haired man would have to repeat himself because you were too wrapped in the feeling of him.

itsu ka boku no koto wo wo kizuku no kana-ne? (will you ever notice me?)

You all but melted in his touch, trying to signal to him how much you wanted whatever he would give. And in those moments, you thought you couldn’t be more obvious with your affection. Yet, no matter what you did, your editor never seemed to notice. Always looking at you with that same deadpan expression, like your eyes were the only place he was allowed to look.

kizuku kana, kizuka kizuku kana (notice me ever)

Akaashi stares at the elevator doors, expecting you to burst through them with apologies on the tip of your tongue. You were late as usual and the dark-haired man was getting slightly impatient. He wasn’t angry, he could never be with you but this was the time you would usually start rambling on excitedly about your morning and what distracted you enough to cause you to lose track of time. Something about how widely you would smile and how your eyes would sparkle whenever you talked to him made him feel like everything was completely right in the world. Your voice was a sweet melody to his ears and it made his heart hum like it was listening to its favorite song.

Five minutes stretched into thirty, thirty minutes into two hours, and you still hadn’t shown up.

This wasn’t normal.

Akaashi could understand fifteen minutes but two hours? With no text, call, or indication that you were on the way. You never even called out sick or rescheduled meetings. You always showed up, even if you were a little late.

boku wa kimi no koto ka sukidakara-ne (because i like you)

Reaching for his phone, he quickly dials your number. The line only rings once before going to voicemail and the lack of answer causes worry to seep into every part of Keiji’s body. Nothing could happen to you, nothing had happened to you. He repeats the last part to himself like a mantra to keep him calm. You were far too precious to him and the mere thought of not seeing you almost every day was enough to send him straight to your house.

Akaashi presses your doorbell numerous times, stopping for a minute to see if you would answer. When he is met with no response the panicked man switches to heavy knocks and before he can land his seventh knock the door swing opens, revealing a very confused and sleepy you.

“Akaashi? What-”

You can’t even finish the sentence because he’s pulling you into him, holding you in the tightest embrace. You stiffen at the initial contact, your drowsy mind still in shock but you relax quickly after at the feeling of his arms around you. You can feel Akaashi’s shaky breaths dusting your neck and you give him a few seconds to calm down before pulling away and looking him in the eye.

“What are you doing here?”

“What am I doing here?! Do you have any idea what time it is right now?”

His voice is hoarse like he’s trying to push down tears that are threatening to spill over. Your eyes drop to the ground in embarrassment, you did not know what time it was.

Keiji watches the way you avoid his gaze and it spurs him on more. The words spilling from his lips like he had no control over his own vocal chords.

“It is 2:30pm, we are supposed to meet at 11am! Do you know how worried I was? I’m used to you being a bit late but when you didn't show up by 1, I started to think something happened to you. You didn’t even call or text and then when I called you didn’t pick up. All I could think about was you and what if something happened. Nothing can happen to you, I don’t know what I would do if you were hurt or worse.”

Akaashi’s chest rises and falls rapidly, his hands shake so much he has to let go of you to clasp them together. He screws his eyes shut as he tries to calm his breathing.

You look back up at him, your heart dropping at the sight of him in such distress. You hadn’t meant to worry him and you never want to again. Seeing him struggle to breathe, to speak, to even look at you causes a sharp pang of guilt to hit you.

You place your hands on his cheeks and Keiji’s eyes snap open to look at you. The feeling of your skin on his helps him relax.

itsu ma demo itsu ma demo (forever and ever)

“I appreciate you coming all this way just to check on me but I’m perfectly okay, promise.”

“Then pick up the phone next time.” He mumbles out.

“See... about that... I kinda stayed up all night drawing the next chapter and I fell asleep at some point.”

Akaashi narrows his eyes at you and you flash him a sheepish smile. You know the next words out of his mouth would be a lecture.

“What have I told you about procrastinating and having better time management? And don’t even start that “I work better under stress” excuse.”

You don’t even respond because there was no point when he was right every single time. You just pull him inside and lock the door behind him.

Keiji didn’t doubt you but the scattered papers, pens and pencils strewn across the floor only served as proof that you truly were working all night. You apologize for the mess and quickly start cleaning off your work table, organizing everything in a neat fashion before gesturing for your editor to sit opposite of you.

“Let’s get the meeting started and make up for lost time, yea?”

machi tsu zuke te age rugara-ne (i will wait for you)

The two of you spend the next two hours seated at the small table, talking over the drafts and fixing any mistakes. You were in the middle of explaining a certain plot point when Akaashi’s loud ringtone cuts you off. His phone screen flashes with a picture of a man with silver hair and the word “BESTIE” in bold letters at the top.

A deep sigh leaves the phone owner's mouth and he flips the phone over, ignoring the call. It’s quiet for a moment and you continue on with your previous conversation but the phone rings again.

“Are you going to answer that?” You ask, your head tilted towards the phone.

“No, keep going.” Akaashi insists but you can’t take him seriously when his phone rings with no breaks in between.

“I really think you should answer. Your bestie probably has something important to tell you.” You snicker, earning a glare from the man in response as he picks up the phone.

“Bokuto, what do you need?”

Despite the phone not being on speaker, you can hear the man on the other end quite clearly.

“Well did you find her?!?!? Is she okay?!?”

Akaashi glances at you, a small smile on his face as he answers.

“Yea, she’s okay.”

“That’s good!! Can I talk to her, please? She is my favorite mangaka and I was really worried too!!”

“No. She has work to do.”

“Aww come on, I just want to say hi.”

The two men continue to go back and forth and you giggle as you listen. At some point the other man is practically begging to speak to you but Akaashi is firm in his stance. But, you didn’t see the issue if Bokuto was a fan you didn’t mind talking to him, it was your supporters that you thank for everything.

You lean forward your face only a few centimeters from Keiji’s and he stops talking completely, distracted by how close you were and the way your eyes flicker to his lips for a brief moment. You take the opportunity to take the phone from his hands and press it to your ear. Akaashi tries to grab it back but you stop him with a hand to his face as you walk to the kitchen and he just gives up, if you wanted something especially from him, you got it.

“Hi! This is your favorite author speaking.”

There’s a minute of complete silence and then Bokuto starts gushing on the phone, showering you with compliments and praises. You couldn’t keep up with everything he was saying because he was speaking so fast but you still express your gratitude. The professional volleyball player asks you if you could meet the whole team. Apparently you have become a fan favorite and they have been asking Akaashi for months to bring you over.

“Is today okay? I can sign your copies and bring you the illustration book. It’s just that I’ll be really busy until next month and I don’t want to make you guys wait any longer.”

You hear shuffling on the other end and the sound of multiple male voices before Bokuto answers you with an enthusiastic “Yes! Everyone’s really excited to meet you! Tell Akaashi to bring you to Onigiri Miya.”

The phone clicks off and you hand it back to your editor, who looks at you with an annoyed expression.

“You know where Onigiri Miya is, right?”

“Don’t tell me Bokuto invited you there and you agreed.”

“Okay I won’t tell you that but I do need you to take me there after I get ready.”

You walk towards the direction of your bathroom, not even giving Akaashi the time to reject the idea. He sighs for what felt like the millionth time today and starts mentally preparing himself for the impromptu book signing.

“Let’s go.” You tell him as you pull your shoes on.

Akaashi only stares at you, his mind going dizzy with the thought of you. He doesn’t know what he should focus on. Maybe he could start with the way your dress hugged your body in all the right places, or how you smelled like sweet honeysuckle, or the way the gold braiding jewels in your hair made it look like you were wearing a crown.

“Stop staring, you’re gonna make us late.” You mumble, growing nervous from the intensity of his gaze.

“That will never happen and you know that. You’re way too beautiful not to look at and making us late is a job specifically reserved for you.”

Akaashi walks towards your front door, cheeks twinged with pink at the fact the compliment slips from his lips so easily. Could you blame him? When you looked like that? Like you could put Aphrodite to shame. That even the stars would look dull and dim next to you.

There goes your heart again, hammering against your chest at speeds you’re sure will kill you. He can’t do this and expect you not to fall in love with him, it wasn’t fair. But life likes to play funny tricks on people, including the two of you. A pair that so desperately wanted to be together but couldn’t see past the blinders they put over their own eyes.

You trail behind the taller man, letting him open the door for you and lead you towards his car. The drive over is mostly silent except for the soft music coming from the car’s stereo. It didn’t take as long as you expected and before you knew it, Akaashi was parking the car and opening your door.

The second you step into the restaurant, a man who you recognize as Bokuto walks up to you to greet you. A giant smile is planted on his face and you can’t stop the one that spreads on yours as well. He pulls you away from Akaashi and towards a table with two chairs, each on opposite sides.

“I hope this is okay? Everyone on the team is greedy and wants one on one time with you. This was the only thing we could decide on.”

You beam at him, happiness shining from every part of your body. If that’s what they wanted, then you were more than happy to oblige.

“Yea! I like it better this way. So who’s first?”

All the men erupt into a loud argument of who got to talk to you first and you watch them in amusement. They settle down enough to play rock, paper, scissors and the first person you meet is their setter, Atsumu.

You talk to him and he asks you for spoilers, promising to keep them secret. There was a man standing behind him that looked just like the blonde, shaking his head no.

“I don’t think the person behind you agrees so unfortunately my lips are sealed.”

“What? Who?” Atsumu whips his head around and immediately starts arguing with the man, who you later found out was his twin.

every day

You glance at Akaashi and he waves it off, telling you to ignore them and continue on with the next person. That’s how the rest of the evening goes, you meet each member and answer their questions or talk to them about whatever before signing their book and moving onto the next. The last player slides into the chair and you smile at him, asking for his name.

“Shugo Meian.”

“And let me guess, you’re the captain? Because I’m pretty sure the first one with the blonde hair lied to me.”

“Ahhh Atsumu, don’t listen to a word he says. I promise it’ll save you from a lot of headaches in the long run.”

You laugh softly and nod your head to let him know you’ll consider his advice. The conversation flows easily and you find out the two of you have very similar interests. Keiji watches the way you interact with the captain and his usual dead-pan expression morphs into one of clear irritation. He didn’t like the way you leaned forward on your elbows to take a closer look at whatever Shugo was showing you. And he certainly didn’t like the way the man whispered in your ear and how you let out a series of very pretty laughs at something he’s sure wasn’t that funny.

i’m sitting here hopeless, i’m hopelessly waiting

Bokuto eyes his best friend, a knowing smile on his lips. In all the years he’s known Akaashi, this is one of the few times where he’s seen actual anger on the man’s face. The younger one has always been the more level-headed half of the pair but seeing Akaashi losing his composure over you simply talking to the captain had Bokuto laughing quietly into his hand.

“Careful Akaashi, you might set my captain’s head on fire if you keep staring at him like that.”

“I’m not staring. I have to watch over her carefully, I am her editor after all.”

“Yea... just an editor... keep telling yourself that.” Bokuto whispers the last part to himself, not wanting to upset his friend even more.

You look over at the time realizing that you’ve been talking to Shugo for longer than you intended to. You didn’t want to be unfair and give one person more time than the rest so you politely cut him off with an apology and pull out your pen.

“And what would you like for me to write as your personal message, Mr. Shugo?”

“You can start with anything nice and end it with your number.” He flashes you a flirty smile and you decide to play along.

There was nothing wrong with harmless flirting.

“Why would you need that?”

“Maybe you can teach me how to draw or something.”

“Hmm, so private lessons is that what I’m hearing right now?”

“If that’s what you want, I wouldn’t be opposed to anything. Especially when it comes from those pretty lips of yours.”

You giggle. That man definitely knew how and when to say the right thing.

know that i see you, but do you even notice me?

Akaashi, however, did not agree. You weren’t supposed to be looking at Shugo like that. The expression on your face was the same one you made when you first saw him in the morning. He thought it was only reserved for him, that he was the only one lucky enough to bear witness to it and right now you were proving him wrong. And it wasn’t like he could say anything. You weren’t dating and there was no “editor” excuse he could come up with to stop what he was seeing. So all he could do was stand there with his hands clenched in tight fists.

Bokuto puts his hand on his friend’s shoulder in an attempt to calm him down. Akaashi is grateful for the quiet support but the silence doesn’t last long. A female voice cuts through the air.

“Instead of making yourself miserable, why don’t you confess and avoid further situations like these.”

The dark-haired man looks to the left and over Bokuto’s shoulder’s to find the ace’s girlfriend looking at him with a bored expression.

“It’s not that easy, we work together.”

“Yes it is. You just go up to her and confess your obvious undying love and utter adoration for her. I’m pretty sure the feeling is reciprocated.”

do you even notice me?

Akaashi wants to deny that last statement but your voice cuts him off as you announce your departure and thank everyone with a promise to come to their next game. You walk up to your editor, exhaustion written all over your features and he whispers a goodbye to Bokuto before taking you out to the car.

do you even notice me? ‘cause

As Akaashi drives you home, you stare out the window watching the way everything blurs together like a messy oil painting. Your stomach growls loudly and Akaashi lets out a small laugh.

“It’s not funny. I was so busy the entire time, I didn't even get to try any of the onigiri.” You pout, refusing to look at him.

“I think I have snacks in the glovebox. You can have those and I’ll buy you something once we’re closer to your apartment.”

“My savior. Where would I be without you?”

“Probably knee deep in spelling errors.” He teases, a small smirk on his face.

“Shut up.” You grumble out as you open the glovebox.

boku wa kimi no koto ka sukidakara-ne (because i like you)

You pull out a bag of chips and as you do a piece of paper slips out with it, falling right into your lap. You pick it up with all of the intent of putting it back but your name written in Akaashi’s neat handwriting catches your attention. You’re sure it's just a list he forgot to give you earlier today so it wouldn’t hurt to look, right?

But when you fully look at the paper, there wasn’t a bulleted list or numbered steps. Instead, you see a full paragraph arranged in a way you recognize as Akaashi’s personal style. At this point you know you should put it back but you physically couldn’t, the devil on your left shoulder pushing you further into temptation.

So you give in and read it.

You barely get past the first couple of lines before tears start to stream down your face and you’re telling Akaashi to pull over.

itsu ma demo itsu ma demo (forever and ever)

“You want me to do what?”

“Pull over.” You look at him with teary eyes and he tries to ask you what’s wrong but you tell him to pull over first.

Keiji does what you ask, driving into an empty park and shutting off the car. You open the door and get out, feeling a little bit overwhelmed at everything you just read. The driver follows suit, stepping out of the car and looking at you in confusion.

machi tsu zuke te age rugara-ne (i will wait for you)

“What’s wrong?”

You shake the piece of paper in the air as you speak.

“You’re what's wrong with me.”

Akaashi still stares at you, not understanding what you meant. So you decide if he couldn’t understand your words maybe he would understand his own.

“Sometimes I sit under the dark blanket of the night sky and utter your name to the moon, hoping she will respond back. I want her, I need her to tell me how to live in your heart the same way you live in mine.”

“Where did you find that?”

Keiji takes a step towards you while you take a step back, still reciting what was written on the paper.

“She’s the only one able to tell me because speaking with her is the same as talking to you. You, my love, are her earthly reincarnation. A being born from moonlight and crafted by the delicate hands of the celestials.

The moon, she never answers me and I know the stars that surround her sigh every single time your name leaves my lips. They must grow tired of me, but I have to know. I have to know how to appease you, how to get your heart to beat in rhythm with my own.”

boku wa kimi no koto ka sukidakara-ne (because i like you)

“Please give it back. You weren't supposed to see that.”

“Sometimes I wonder if the lack of answers is a sign. A sign that I don’t deserve the absolute blessing of your love. And if that’s the case, I will wash myself of all the sins I have committed that keep you from loving me. I will drop to my knees to beg, to repent, so I can be worthy of that spot I wish to fill in your heart.”

Akaashi steps closer to you and this time you don’t move. You whisper the last line as his body pressed against yours, trapping you from any further escape.

“And I know conversing with the moon is quite the delusion but I do it all because I love you and that love is enough to drive me to things that only make sense to mad men and the gods who made my heart in a shape that only connects with yours.”

itsu ma demo itsu ma demo (forever and ever)

You hand him back his paper and he shoves into his back pocket. Akaashi’s entire face is a bright red.

That poem was never meant for your eyes.

It was just a simple outlet for him to pour out his heart because he didn’t have the guts to tell you. But it didn’t matter now, since you read it aloud like it was poetry slam night.

“I’m taking you home. Get back in the car.”

“Did you mean everything you wrote?”

“If I answer your question, will you get in the car?”

“Depending on your answer.”

Keiji looks you in your eye and you don’t look away, never wavering from his intense stare.

“Yes. I meant every single word and I could probably write more if I wanted to.”

You clutch onto the front of his shirt with the prettiest smile he has ever seen on a person.

“Good, because this would have made my next question really awkward.”

Your eyes flicker down to his lips and your hands move up to grab his face.

“Can I kiss you?”

Without a hint of hesitation he answers, his voice laced with slight desperation.

“Yes. A thousand times yes.”

Your lips were on his before the last “yes” even fully left his mouth. Akaashi felt his entire world stop and he never wanted this moment to end. The moon had finally answered his call, and for that, he was eternally grateful.

machi tsu zuke te age rugara-ne (i will wait for you)

The kiss was fast and it made you dizzy, Akaashi’s hands on your lower back was the only thing keeping you from falling over. If you were Akaashi’s moon, then he was your tide, pulling you in and keeping you grounded. And like the gravity that keeps the two connected, the love between you was the force of nature that brought you together.

You both pull away for air and Akaashi plants a soft kiss to your forehead. You go in for another kiss but your stomach makes her second appearance for the night. Your face heats up and Keiji can’t help but laugh again.

“Are you actually going to get in the car now?”

“Yes! Let’s go. You said you would buy me food and I’m holding you to it.”

Akaashi looks at you in fake irritation, a small smirk on his face.

“That was before you decided to read my deep inner thoughts out loud. So, I am actually debating if I should still buy you something.”

You huff out a heavy breath, mumbling something under your breath and letting go of your editor as you start walking towards the car.

Loverboy trails after you, a sweet smile on his face after he hears your very quiet,

“I’m sorry and I love you.”

a/n: hii everyone !! this was a long one and i still don’t know if i like it that much :/ but i hope everyone enjoyed !!! akaashi was actually my first haikyuu crush so this was really nice to write. also the love poem akaashi writes to reader is an original by me made specifically for this story !! i love writing things like that and another small bit of info: the quotes at the very beginning are also written by me :)))

as i said about a week or so ago, i will be taking a 3 week hiatus (maybe more/maybe less) but once i’m back, expect A LOT of good things 😋. take care of yourself today <333

taglist: @santoteez @hyukathejaeger @cuppediacosmos @satorose @amisuh @missackerman1

#☆♬♩♪✧r0m1s.reblogs #poki.poki #r0m1s.rambles #melodys.music #I am so single #my god I wanna read this 1000 times over

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