#idk if i should post a teaser lol it's been so long

[wonustars]

𝘚𝘦𝘶𝘯𝘨𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘰𝘭 ’𝘴 𝘓𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 (𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦𝘳)

“𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴, 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴. 𝘪’𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳, 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶” - 𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘦’𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘣𝘺 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘩

story inspirtation came from this poll pairing: c.sc x reader word count: estimated ~10k+ (this teaser: 983 words)

genre: friends to friends with benefits to lovers, slowburn, angst, fluff, smut (mdni)

summary: You and Seungcheol have been friends ever since you were kids. Growing up as neighbours, experiencing all the horrific adolescent moments in high school, and now going to the same University together. Even though you’ve denied it many times to your friends, part of you has always had feelings for him, not that you would ever say it out loud. He is the one person you can trust with anything and everything. So what happens when he propositions the idea of becoming friends with benefits? (the plot maybe change a little while i’m continuing to write but the overall theme will stay the same <;3)

tags: bestfriend!seungcheol, nonidol!au, university!au, female!reader, mutual pining, slow burn so painful you'll feel it in your toes, they are one year apart, SLIGHT like extremely miniscule wonwoo x reader (for the angst mwahahaha), seungcheol is a jealous jealous man, they're both idiots, jeonghan is a menace as always, seungcheol has a lot of pride, so does the reader, (i'll add more once its finished lol)

warnings/smut: this will be added on in the full post.

taglist: open! send an ask, dm, or comment to be tagged for when i post the full fic.

notes: long time no post everyone.... a LOT of people voted for an s.coups story on my poll so i'm here to deliver mwahahahaha...ALSO im so proud of the banner i made like udek i love how it looks hehhehe, i spent a good hour or so on it T-T ! i really have an urge to write a longer story, so idk when i'll be finished because it may take me a while to finish so sorry in advance. I just started writing and I was playing Mikee's Letters by Just Hush during it and so i thought id incorperate the song into the story, but barely lol (its a tagalog song so sorry if the translation is a lil rough my tagalog is not the most accurate). this story is SOOOOOO self indulgnet that it should be criminal lol BUT im really excited to write this and im really excited to share it with everyone,,, but first i actually got to finish it hehe. talk to u soon, mwah <3!

As long as you could remember you and Seungcheol have been attached to the hip. Even though he was a year older than you, you couldn’t remember the last time you spent a day without him. You’ve been in each others lives ever since then, starting all the way from the young, bright age of 5, when you and your family moved into the small, humble house across his. Although your parents weren’t very well off, Cheol was. It was an odd thing that you two were neighbours because his house was much more grand, and nicer kept than yours. This didn’t really bother you growing up though, he always made you feel like an equal.  

Seungcheol has been with you through it all, the petty fights in middle school to the pains of adolescence in high school. He’s seen you at your worst, like the time you tripped and fell trying to impress a cute guy at school, which resulted in a nose bleed. You were so embarrassed but at the end of the day Cheol was there to help you clean your bloody nose and pick you back up. A true night and shining armor, which was practically his brand. He was the one to patch up your heart, breakup after breakup. Always your shoulder to lean on when you’re feeling down, and especially when you’re happy. 

A man and bestfriend like Choi Seungcheol didn’t come around very often, and you took notice of that since you were young. You cherish every moment you have and will have with him. He is a true gentleman with a heart of gold. He’s handsome, smart, rich and caring. Every single box on your list is ticked off when it comes to him. Yet, you know that no matter how hard you love him, you will only ever be his bestfriend. The girl he sees as practically his younger sister. The bittersweet feeling of being so close to him tugs your heart till its torn. It took you a long time to accept that all you’ll ever be is his bestfriend, and even now, you’re still trying to accept this fact. 

...

Seungcheol has always seen himself as your best friend. The man that will be there for you when you have no one else to turn to. He has never seen you as more than his best friend, his y/n. He is a man who never second-guesses himself, always keeping a strong-willed sense of mind. Every time one of his friends asked him if he had feelings for you, he would simply answer no; and that you were like a younger sister to him. 

That first year was lonely for him, he didn’t really know anyone and all his classes kept him away from socializing. The only thing that seemed to have stayed constant was you. You face-timed him at least once a week before he went to bed, never forgetting to remind him how much you missed him, and how much you cared for him. In the simplest words, you were his rock for that first year. 

Seungcheol was never warned about how lonely and jarring your first year could be. The change in place, people, and most importantly the change in the fact that you weren’t there experiencing it beside him. He was never one to believe clichè sayings, but he finally understood what the saying “distance makes the heart grow fonder” really felt like. He had gotten so overwhelmed from the loneliness he even began to write you letters, ones he would never actually send out, as cheesy as it sounds. But knowing that he was addressing them to you brought him some type of solace in that first year.

 A year later you came to study at the same university, and he was elated, to say the least. Finally, he had thought to himself. The one person he hadn’t been able to see, smell, or touch for a year was finally going to be in his proximity. 

Unlike Cheol, you were only able to go to this school through bursaries and scholarships, your parents simply just couldn’t afford to send you to school in a different city otherwise. It reminded you how lucky Seungcheol was to receive support from his parents, getting and going to school was nothing he had to ever think twice about. You knew you could’ve stayed with your family, and gone to school closer to your house, but with Cheol away, it just wasn’t the same. Nothing had felt the same since he left. But this didn’t matter to you the moment you felt his arms wrap around you again. 

You stood there in the airport all alone, eyes searching for a head of freshly dyed blond hair. The moment you heard his voice call your name, you knew you were finally home. 

“Y/n!” An excited, deep voice calls out for you. 

You whip your head around to see him. The man you hadn’t seen in so long, the man you were so desperately in love with. Your best friend. 

“Cheol!” A squeal escapes your lips, you run to him. He pulls you into a tight hug, wrapping his large hands around your smaller frame. Swinging you around like crazy, a laugh bubbles up from your throat. 

“I’ve missed you so much y/n.” Cheol exasperates as he hugs you tighter, leaving a kiss on the top of your head.

“I’ve missed you too Cheol…” You whisper into his chest, breathing in his expensive cologne, not caring that you are in public; staying there to embrace him for a weirdly long period of time. “Never leave for that long again.” 

[n1cholaswang]

ALL MINE — CJU

nonidol!au — boyfriends!bestfriend!jiung x afab!reader

cw: established relationship w/ intak, cheating (i don't condone it so don't do it mfs), first orgasm (lol ikr), unprotected sex, oral (f!r), praise, degradation, name calling, choking, rough sex, fingering (f!r), squirting (?), getting caught, idk tell me if i messed something

wc: 2.7k

a/n: after a long wait, here it is! i removed a little bit of content from my teaser post but that's cause i felt a little rushed and i wanted to get this out like... asap. i hope y'all enjoy even tho it's not the best. oh btw! lmk if you want a part 2 ;)

YOU and intak have been together for almost a year now and while things have been more than great, you couldn't help but feel like something was lacking.

two months into the relationship, intak had introduced you to his closest friends, taeyang, keeho, shota, jongseob, and jiung.

they all quickly became your friends and took you in as one of their own.

all except jiung.

while he put on the front that he was alright with you around, he wasn't. and that was mainly because, even if he had his eyes on you for a second, his cock would harden under his pants.

you are the most beautiful person he had ever seen before, and your intellect only intrigued him more. he wonders how someone like you could even be with someone like intak.

sure, intak was his friend and he adored him but when it comes to you, he could care less about intak, or anyone for that matter.

you didn't begin to get close with jiung until keeho's new year's get together.

you had found jiung on the balcony, looking over the city and quietly sipping his drink.

"whatcha doin out here all alone?", you joke, taking a seat next to him

he shrugs and takes another sip, staying utterly silent.

that was until your drunken thoughts got to you and made you start crying.

"you hate me!", you sob

he chokes on his drink, some of it spilling out of his mouth, "what?! what makes you think that?!"

"you never talk to me-"

"that doesn't mean i hate you, [name]"

the way your name rolled off his tongue was perfect. like, your name was made to be said by him.

"i thought intak already told you i'm a man of few words"

"he mentioned it but... i didn't believe him. you just seem so... friendly and outgoing"

he chuckles lowly, "why thank you. i try to be"

you and jiung talked all night, and right when the countdown started, here came intak and theo.

"3! 2! 1! happy new year!"

intak cupped your cheeks and kissed you with much adoration, while jiung sat on the other side of you, not bothering to look at the two of you.

it should be him kissing you. it should be him touching you, holding you, fucking you.

he thought about how cute you'd look with glossy eyes, begging to be fucked like a little bitch in heat.

he thought about how you'd look cumming around him and squirming under him while he fucks you through it.

he thought about how precious you'd look with your lips wrapped around his cock, pretty pink lips stained with the white thickness that would be his cum.

and there it was again, like clockwork, a fucking boner.

four months in and you finally got through to jiung.

so much so that you'd consider him one of your best friends.

you told him everything, even things you'd never dare to tell intak.

your declaration made water trickle down from his nose, "intak can't make you cum?"

you nod.

"so... you've never had an orgasm?"

"nope", you respond calmly

jiung's mind went wild. thought after thought of wanting to be your first everything.

you both sat in silence, you gnawing on your bottom lip to ignore the fact you're incredibly embarrassed and jiung fighting with his thoughts to not say what he really wanted to say.

"would you like me to change that?"

and of course, he let his thoughts win. but in his case, who else but him should make you writhe?

and that's where it all started: just one orgasm forced by his fingers.

who knew from that day forward you two couldn't keep your hands off each other.

every time you're left alone together, it's within seconds that your lips are pressed together and moving in perfect sync, your clothes on the floor, and getting fucked deeply into the mattress.

you'll never do it again, you promise yourself, for intak's sake. but why does it feel so good? why does being with jiung feel so fucking good?

your affair with jiung was a sin but why do you not care so much?

intak was a beautiful lover, taking the time to pepper every inch of skin with kisses and whimpering in your ear about how much he loves you.

but jiung, he was a devilish lover. all he has to do is look at you and you'll know exactly what he wants. he'll look at you then to the floor and you'll know exactly what he wants. with one calling motion of his fingers, you're on your knees for him.

intak has told you about how thoughtful and kindhearted jiung is. but with you, oh he's a demon in disguise.

on intak's birthday, jongseob and soul came up with the idea to eat lunch at this luxurious restaurant in seoul.

but little did the birthday boy know, his girlfriend was stuffed full of his best friend's fingers.

jiung would slowly thrust his ringed fingers into [name], making her hunch over their plate.

"doll, are you alright?"

intak's sudden question pulled you out of that state of pleasure.

you look up at him and nod, "mhm, i'm fine lover boy"

you reach out to grab his hand then jiung's fingers curled up inside of you, thrusting faster than before and nearly pressing the spot that makes you whimper and clench around his knuckles.

you slam your thighs shut, giving him the signal to stop and thankfully, he does.

and as soon as jiung's dessert was set on the table, he took two of his fingers — the same two fingers that was just inside of you, scissoring your hole — and gathered the whipped cream, placing his fingers in his mouth and licking it clean.

the whole table looked at him weird, keeho's face curling up in disgust.

"jiung, we are in public"

"what? it's sweet"

keeho rolls his eyes, "bitch we're still in public"

"let me do me"

"today is not your birthday, do you in two months"

jiung leans back in his chair and pokes at his piece of cake with his fork, "i know someone who'll do me in two months", he muttered.

"your hand isn't a who", jongseob says nonchalantly before eating his spoonful of his dessert.

everyone but jiung bursts into laughter at jongseob's snarky remark, but he was right.

someone would be doing him in 2 months, on his birthday.

you went into jiung's room, seeing his headphones on his head and a fashion show playing on his monitor.

you snuck up behind him and slowly pulled his headphones off, giving him a gentle kiss on his earlobe.

you see the corners of his lips curl up before he turns around, his smile fading.

jiung didn't know you had owned a choker.

jiung didn't know you had owned a short pastel blue and white plaid skirt.

jiung didn't know you had owned a lace bralette.

and jiung certainly didn't know about the white stockings with the prettiest, little blue bows on them.

his eyes traveled up and down your body endlessly, his eyebrows raising and jaw dropping.

"do you like it?"

"like it?", he huffed, "i love it"

he extends his hands, going straight for your waist and pulling you in between his legs. his calloused but gentle fingers felt you up, sliding up and down your sides to your outer thighs before comfortably slipping under your skirt to cup your ass.

you giggle at his excitement, his hands kneading with the flesh of your ass and placing little kisses on your stomach.

"is this mine tonight?", he asks before slapping your ass.

you smile at him, resting your hands on his shoulders, "since it's your birthday, i'm fully at your disposal today"

"happy birthday to me then"

jiung pulls you into his lap, your thighs straddling his. he leans back, taking you down with him and kissing you.

you felt yourself getting warmer, and wetter, his experienced hands cupping your tits. he begins to kiss your collarbones, gradually making his way up to your neck.

"since you're mine for the next 24 hours", he mumbles against your skin, "if i want you, you'll come to me, right?"

you hum in response as jiung's hands grope your ass once again.

"even if you're with intak?"

your lips press together into a line as you thought about how to answer that.

on one hand, it was jiung's birthday and you wanted to make him feel special since you've been spending all your time with your boyfriend. but on the other hand, you didn't want intak to be suspicious.

"yes, even if i'm with intak"

what the fuck [name] i thought you were still thinking, you cursed at yourself.

you assume that was the answer he wanted to hear. as soon as those words left your mouth, jiung lifted you up and stood from his chair, walking over to his bed and placing you on it, his body hovering over yours.

his hands traveled up your legs to your thighs, groping at the flesh of your outer thighs then moving down to get on his knees.

"try to stay still", he mumbles before lifting your skirt

his eyes dart up to yours, "no panties? wow, this really is a birthday gift", he nearly squeals

jiung wasted no time dipping his head into your core. his wet tongue flattened against your folds, prying them apart with the tip and gathering up all the sweet wetness seeping from your hole.

when he lightly sucks on your folds, you squirm and close your legs around his head but his arms link around your thighs, parting them and forcing you to keep them open as he continues to suck on you.

his tongue travels up and down before setting up a home on your clit, circling it with the tip of his tongue before bringing it into his mouth, suckling on the bud like it was a baby bottle.

you tried to keep your composure but you couldn't help but moan. the more you tried to close your legs, the tighter his grip got and the more he sucked on you.

his tongue pushed into your hole, your walls tightening around him.

your mouth opened to plead with him to stop, but the only thing that came out was a carnal groan as the fire in the pit of your stomach grows. jiung's tongue plunges in and out of you as his nose presses against your clit, adding pressure onto the already mind blowing head.

your fingers grip at his hair, yanking harshly as your orgasm is right around the corner.

but it was quickly ruined as he pulled away, lips glistening with your arousal. jiung stands on his feet, pulling him sweatpants and boxers down, his rock hard cock springing into the air. the angry red tip was leaking precum and you couldn't wait to put that beautiful cock of his inside you.

he grabs your thighs and pulls you to the end of the bed, his tip prodding at your hole before slowly sliding in. your wetness covered his cock from the tip to the base as you pull him down to your lips by his black tank top.

your lips collide and in the heat of the moment, jiung begins to thrust into you at a moderate pace, your soft moans muffled by his swollen and wet lips.

you begin to move your hips with his, fucking him back. and this only riled up jiung more.

he stopped, his hands placed next to your head and his blonde hair in your face as he watches you take his cock by yourself.

he huffs, "you're such a little slut for me", he looks back up at you, his eyes hooded and dark with desire, "aren't you, pretty girl?"

his voice was low which only made more arousal escape from your already stuffed hole, not that he minded. he loved the messes you made for him, and just for him.

normally jiung was a clean, very neat individual but once you're under him, all that goes out the window.

he pulls away, his cock slipping out with a string of wetness still connecting you to each other. he flipped you over onto your stomach, bunching the tight short skirt you had on and pulling you nearly off the bed.

he wraps a hand around himself, pumping it a few times before entering you again, this time at a dangerously slow pace. his thrusts became deep, his tip brushing against that gooey spot inside of you while he lays down on you and kisses the shell of your ear.

"i'm gonna make you mine..."

his hips lift up, slamming into yours as he puts much power and emphasis into his next words.

"all... fucking... mine..."

you cry out as his cock hits that spot again and again, more wetness leaving you and sticking to jiung's pelvis.

he groans as you clench around him, standing up and slapping your ass before pressing your hips deep into the mattress below you, putting all his strength onto keeping you still.

jiung's hips pull so far back you thought he was coming out of you before he pushes back into you again, your whole body moving forward from the force and you screaming out in pleasure.

he does it again, hearing you call out his name in desperation before he does it again.

he continues with that action, his tip kissing your cervix and your head buried into the mattress, fingers tugging on the bedsheets and arousal squirting all over his pelvis and lower stomach.

he smiles at the mess you're making together before he pulls out, slapping his hard wet cock onto your puffy lips and sliding back into you.

you couldn't hold out any longer, he's fucking you so good you don't know if you can even stand after this.

"can i cum? please?!", your head lifts up just enough for him to hear

"of course princess. i want you to cum all over me. cum on this cock, your cock"

"ain't this dick yours?", you could hear the smirk in his voice

"yes! 's mine!"

"and that perfect little pussy? whose is it?"

you groan loudly, your orgasm was right there.

"please... please... fuck please"

he could feel your legs shaking and he's satisfied, knowing he's the only man who would turn you into a babbling baby.

jiung pulls at your hair, forcing you to stand as he puts a hand on your throat and another on your stomach. he feels the bulge of his cock buried deep into you and the grip on your throat tightens as the thought of him breaking you invaded his mind.

and with one more powerful thrust, you're screaming. he acts quickly and kisses you, your noises being muddled again as your legs and body shakes under his touch.

your body collapses onto the bed, little tremors making you fuck jiung just a bit.

"ha-ppy birthday... j-jiung...", you say out of breath

"a happy birthday it is indeed", he smiles

he pulls out of you, getting back into his knees and licking his lips, about to devour your pussy again.

that is until the room door opens.

"hey jiung! happy bir-"

jongseob stops mid sentence, not being able to believe his eyes.

there you were, damn near naked and exposed in front of jiung and him with his cock out, still wet from just fucking you and his lips close to connecting with your folds.

jongseob rubs his eyes, seeing if he was just hallucinating but no, he wasn't.

"don't you say a word about this to intak"

"i... i wasn't even here..."

jongseob backs up slowly, shutting the door and shuddering in both disgust and confusion.

he never took you for a cheater, let alone a homie hopper. but as he stood there and thought about it some more, it begins to make sense.

every time you and jiung are left alone, you two always come back with messy hair and clothes. once, your lipstick was slightly smeared on his fingers after the boys left you two alone for an hour.

it all makes sense now to jongseob, but he couldn't dare to tell intak, even though intak was calling him.

"hello?"

"did jiung like his present?!", he was ecstatic

"y-yeah... he liked it..."

[trashlie]

ILY FP 219 (or, The One That Went to the Top of My Favorites List)

Hehehe is that an enticing enough, non-spoiler preview for you? lol I want so badly to tell everyone WHY they should be sure to FP this episode, but I don’t want to ruin it for anyone. Not that I think knowing what’s in there will ruin it, but I think the impact of going into it without knowing is just SO MUCH MORE POWERFUL. It’s BEAUTIFUL okay? That’s why you should read it - it’s beautiful! 

Idk where to begin with this one!!!! Over 24 hours later, sorting out my emotions is still difficult because I just keep wanting to climb the walls and start shrieking lmao AAAAHHHHHHHH! 

Those of us who are patrons of quimchee’s got a little teaser for this episode - the first part was SUPPOSED to post with 218, and quimchee said that 213-219 are all supposed to be parts of one much, MUCH bigger episode, so you know, if you want to read them all together, there you go! But anyway, even getting a little teaser of it last week, this episode was still full of so much new, and even what we got to see still hit just as strong. UGH. LISTEN. 

When the music hit me and I realized what it was? As we kept scrolling and Shinae furtively snuck back in? I CRIED okay lmao I CRIED. How long has it been since Nol last celebrated his birthday? When was the last time someone made him feel special on this day? Because he sure hasn’t allowed himself to. He hasn’t spent a birthday with friends - I mean, hell, this is the first time he’s even HAD friends who mean anything - and after everything they’ve gone through, everything he put them through, to see them show up just meant SO MUCH to me. I had no doubts that Dieter and Soushi would come through for Nol, but I didn’t think we’d get to see it so soon, either. I was so concerned that there’d been no time for them to talk at the party, that Soushi’s first indication that Nol was even there at all was seeing him fall into a glass table! Finding him bleeding out in the snow. 

How harrowing it must have been for them - at least Shinae has gotten to talk to him a little, has a little more insight into who he is, why he did what he did. I’m sure, in time, Dieter and Soushi will come up to speed, whether through Shinae or Nol himself, but even now, even with them NOT knowing or understanding, I think it makes it even more special that they showed up. Nol has been there when they needed him, whether they wanted it or not. He always had their backs, had a way of making them feel like they were special, like they matter. And now they all got to do the same for him, to return that favor. As readers, we know that Nol began those relationships with no real intentions, never intending those friendships to become real, but they did, both ways. There was something about Soushi’s commentary that really did me in - about how he doesn’t have bullies coming around anymore and even if he did, he’s got a buddy whose got his back ;~; How he went from wanting to take help from no one to coming around to the weirdly insistent boy. 

I love, LOVE, LOVE how all of their gifts related to the beginnings of their relationships. Again, it’s something about how it began on false pretenses, but how it became real and came to mean something to all of them that just really gets to me! I don’t know how to articulate it, the feeling of these people who desperately needed someone, being able to be that to Nol, that even though he’s tried to push them away, to run away, even though they have no explanation for his behavior, they still are there for him when he desperately needs it. I kept waffling for a long time on whether I thought Nol was intending to ghost everyone after prison, going back and forth even as he and Shinae talked in Minhyuk’s room. “Is he telling her this because he doesn’t plan to stick around?” But especially after all of these hospital scenes, I feel pretty confident that’s not his plan. Just like Soushi and Shinae never really intended to accept Nol’s friendship and thought they were fine on their own, I think Nol may be having that moment for himself.

Or, rather, I think he’s at a crossroads and is at war with himself. On the one hand, he doesn’t believe he deserves any of this. The way he talks about his birthday is so SAD; Shinae is right, people don’t talk like that! Was it a difficult pregnancy that Nessa had with Nol? Did his birth cause her harm? Is it just the circumstances he feels guilty for? Maybe he believes she’d be okay if she’d never conceived him? Maybe it’s because of his relation to the Hiraharas? He talks about people stepping on the burger - that definitely feels like it’s about the Hirahraras, taking his existence and making him feel insignificant and wrong, like he shouldn’t exist. But it’s the way he talks about the mistreatment of the cow sent to the slaughterhouse. It sounds like that’s about his mom - which could be the most he’s ever said about her. If his birthday is the burger, then the cow that became the burger would be her, right? I still have so many questions, ngl. Nol clearly has a complicated relationship with the memory of his mother - we know his childhood, before they left home, were his happiest memories, but at the same time, he can’t speak of the happy memories, or really, her at all. I don’t think the guilt is simply that he exists, and there’s more to it, whether it’s misconstrued on his behalf or just more puzzle pieces we’re missing. 

At any rate, Nol carries a heavy weight of guilt and has denied himself any joy or happiness, has never allowed himself to ENJOY things, lest they go awry. Probably like with his mom, and like with Shinae, a connection with him seems to end in danger. Of course, that’s not true - people end up in danger because of their own choices, and the choices of those around them - but again, we are talking about the way Nol views himself and the world. I think this is a big thing, too, because I’ve been thinking a lot about identity and perception lately, but I’ll try to get to that in a moment. 

For so long, Nol has been content with his self-inflicted punishment, but then he accidentally made real friends along the way. His quest to help people went off track. And for a while, he tried to fix that. He pulled away, he stopped responding, he tried to completely and cleanly cut them off, he drew the line and let them know. But here they still stand after it all, and he can’t help but appreciate that. The way my stupid heart flipped when he hugged Dieter and Soushi and told him he loved him. That feels like the most genuine expression we’ve seen on him in a long time - and for him to be so forthright with them, to even use that word at all! This is what makes me feel certain he doesn’t intend to ghost them. Why would he tell them that if he planned to leave? Why would he accept and embrace their friendship if he didn’t want it? And that’s the thing, isn’t it? His internal war is his wants vs what he thinks he deserves. It’s the fear that he brings harm to people, but that DESPERATE LONGING for that closeness. 

Throughout ILY we’ve seen so many times Nol wanted to reach out and denied himself the opportunity, for whatever reason. Countless times he’s reached out to Shinae only to close his hand into a fist and restrain himself. All that loneliness is haunting. I think it’s around the time they went to the arcade that Nol knew these relationships were real, and it was the arrival of Yui that reminded him he can’t do this, he can’t let his guard down, he can’t indulge his desires like this. To have that taste for friendship, for what it feels like to just let go, to be around people who don’t spend all their time trying to tear you apart, to be around people who CHOOSE your company, who CHOOSE to be with you? And then to retreat? He tasted something so sweet but had to give it up.

And now, after everything he’s done, they still show up for him, they still sat by and watched over him, they still came to CELEBRATE him? How can he continue to deny himself this? How can he close his fist and walk away from it? 

But, and my god I realize this is a very verbose point lmao, the point I’m getting at is, in the same way that Soushi and Shinae refused his friendship, in the same way that they thought they were better off on their own, I think Nol is at that same crossroad - is he better off alone? How bad is it, if he indulges just a little? 

I hope he thinks long and hard about what Shinae said very early in the evening, too. Whether or not he believes he puts people in danger, it’s not his call to make. Friendship is a two-way road and they, also, deserve to make their choice, to choose him despite the danger. It wasn’t Nol that put Shinae in danger. Maybe in a convoluted way you could say so - she’d never have called on Kousuke for that favor he owed her for getting Nol to the hospital the night of the masquerade - but regardless, Yui acts on her own. I realize this is not easy for Nol to see, because of what a deep-seated belief this is, but I hope it’s something he’ll consider more and more. 

There’s so much I could write about the birthday party ALONE. How wonderful it was to see them all together again after all this time, the sweet callbacks to their beginnings demonstrating how far they’ve come, how much they mean to each other. Nol is SO loved, and I hope he learns to wear that love as a much needed suit of armor. What does it matter that his family is trash, when this, his found family, makes up for it in so many ways? What does it matter that some people chose to make him feel insignificant, when he has people who choose to celebrate him, and the fact that he’s in their lives? ;~; That little happy smile and blush he wears when Shinae pointedly tells him they want to spend this night making him feel special ;~; It fucks me up lmao like lakjfkjafkjaf I’M GETTING WEEPY WRITING THIS ALL OVER AGAIN LMAO 

NOL DESERVES TO BE CELEBRATED. HE DESERVES TO FEEL SPECIAL. He came into their lives and individually made them all better. There’s an argument to be made that it was Kousuke’s financing that made Soushi’s life better, but we know that HE chooses Nol. That his companionship with Nol makes his life better. If not for Nol, where would they even be? He deserves to be celebrated because he’s brought so much good into other lives! And he deserves a return of that, too. All the good he tried to put into the world to counter the guilt he wears, all the good he denied himself and thus brought to others. GOD. I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ;~; I LOVE THEM, I LOVE THIS GANG I hope in the future we get to see more of them, now that we know how close their bond is, how much they mean to each other ;~; 

DIETER’S ORIGAMI DUCKIES AND THE LITTLE BIRTHDAY MESSAGES! THE CALLBACK TO NOL AND THEIR MORNING RUNS AND THE STILLNESS OF THE WATER AND THE DUCKIES ;~; Apologizing that these aren’t the best presents, that there’s no cake, but aren’t they? Isn’t this the best? There’s something about people spending their time and energy to create something for you that REALLY gets to me. Every time a friend hand-makes something for me, I just cry and cry lmao. Maybe origami duckies and happy birtday on a cake isn’t a lot of effort - but the point is that they TRIED. That at the last minute, they came up with something to try to return the kind of friend he’s been to them. They ARE the perfect gifts. What else could he possibly need more than to know that he is important to them and means so much? 

AND THAT WAY HE LOOKS OVER AT SHINAE, THE WAY SHE QUICKLY LOOKS AWAY, THE FLUSTERING, THE LITTLE BUTTERFLIES WE FEEL ON HER BEHALF!!!!! AUGH. 

I find it so cute and funny that Shinae was too shy to give Nol her gift at the same time, feeling that it paled in comparison to Dieter’s duckies, but personally, I think it’s right on par. Just like their messages, Shinae’s gift harkens back to the earliest days of her friendship with Nol, the orange soda she spilled on him, the fear he’s allergic to oranges lol, what she drew on his face the day following at that deli lol “You don’t suck that much” All the way back in episode 4, she told him “You’re a human first. And humans suck.” WHAT A CALLBACK!!!!!!!! Idk like, to me here gift was so on par, but also, it’s something that conveys a sense of feelings and being who she is, I don’t blame her for feeling a little shy about it.

ESPECIALLY COS MY GOD THERE’S SO MUCH SHYNESS IN THIS EPISODE MY GOD!!!!!!!! 

It’s been long established that I am here for the soft shit, the tender shit, for little stolen moments laced with intimacy, stolen little moments of calm in an otherwise turbulent storm. IT’S MY EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!! Dieter and Soushi on the spare bed in the room, while Shinae lays her head again on Nol’s bed, the both of them refusing to sleep. Shinae probably fears that he’ll disappear if she sleeps, that he’ll slip through her fingers; Nol probably worries that when he wakes this will be over, the calm, the good feelings. There’s something so TENDER about them trying to delay the inevitable, to stretch the last remining time. And, again, with Dieter and Soushi sleeping (god I hope Dieter is sleeping), everything that follows just feels again like a little stolen moment, just like every other moment they share together. 

The shift in Nol and Shinae’s relationship dynamic is practically palpable. How many times has she gotten flustered over his gaze this night? How many times has she been unable to hold that gaze?! I’m a sucker for this! There’s likely a number of reasons that have brought this reaction out of it. It reminds me a lot of episodes 117 and 118 with the nugget crushing hand holding and the shared music moment - how Shinae marveled over her hands afterward, how she had to go lmao hold Minhyuk’s hand to feel it out. That, and the little flashback snippet of Nol doing her make up at the formal seem to be the times that Shinae has been most affected by Nol, and I think in a lot of ways they resonate with the version of him she knows now. But that’s the other thing. She knows more than Dieter and Soushi do and through that, she’s aware of that significance and I think it’s absolutely affected her. They’ve been so incredibly vulnerable with each other all evening - Shinae being so uncharacteristic and saying so many heartfelt, sentimental things in effort to reach Nol, sharing her story about middle school, the reveal about Alyssa, the little things he’s let slip about his family dynamic. Shinae is already seeing him in a new light, and so much of it is just raw and she’s yet to have a moment to really sit down and take in everything. But also, the GLANCES, his INTENSE expressions. 

I was talking to someone on reddit about this but the thing is - this isn’t Shinae’s first meeting with Nol like this. In so many of their shared moments, this is the person he’s been, letting down his goofy mask, talking seriously with her. The break in at her apartment, the phone call after his family dinner, the scene at the wac, the breakdown on the hospital terrace, the time he gave her his extra taco. Though not as raw as this Nol, the edges softened and blurred more than he is now, she’s come face to face with this iteration of him. It’s the intensity that is so new. And lmao that intensity is what makes him so alike Rand, who made Shinae quiver LMAOOOOOO it’s so funny that this is finally catching up to her, that their appearance is finally frazzling her. But I think it’s a culmination of all of this. There’s an awareness at the tip of her tongue that she’s yet to voice, yet to confront, but she’s certainly acting on it. The stolen glances, the flustered glances away, the way she is so WHOLLY affected. 

It’s only just earlier this week, as far as the timeline goes, that Shiane realized HOW important Nol is to her, HOW scared she is of losing him, how much he means to her. Dieter used the l-word! It’s not a casual friendship. And his significance to her seems to dance along the border between platonic and romance - you can be significant to someone without it being romantic, you can be a person someone doesn’t want to lose without it being romantic. But SHE has to find that significance, she has to figure that out. All this shyness and flustering - is it the newness of this side of Nol, of all this vulnerability shared between them, or is it something more in the ways they bring comfort to each other, the ways they seem to stabilize each others’ world. I don’t think we’ve seen it demonstrated as strongly as we have with Nol, how Shinae’s presence and can center Nol and root him in the present, but I think we’ve seen a few instances of Nol being the same for her. 

This is one of those things about love and romance and friendship that fascinates me. At what point IS it romance? At what point does that friendship turn into “I want more of this I need more of this”? You can receive comfort from so many people, so at what point does it become something romantic?

And I think that’s what Shinae and Nol are toeing. Nol, certainly, is becoming more aware of that affect she has on him, the way she roots him to the present, the way she brings him much needed peace. Does Shinae realize yet the way she seeks him out? Does she realize how much peace she’s also gotten from him? 

And it seems so mutual, the way Nol gives in and indulges in the peace, the way he initiates these little moments of physicality. And it could absolutely be nothing, it could absolutely be just a casual touch amongst friends, except it’s them, and she’s flustered and looking away, and the butterflies seem to dance off the page. It’s the way he looks from her gift, loaded with what began their friendship what brought them into each other’s lives, and looks over at her trying to drown out his reaction, too embarrassed (TOO SHY!!!!!!) to see, that eyeless frame (QUIMCHEE DOES THIS SO MUCH! SO OFTEN! WHEN SHIELDING NOL’S FEELINGS!!!!!!) when he reaches over with his fingers in her hair.

HE DIDN’T HAVE TO DO THAT. HE COULD JUST TAP HER SHOULDER. HE COULD JUST SCOOT NEARER. BUT HE DOESN’T. IT’S HIS FINGERS IN HER HAIR, NEAR THE SCAR THAT PUT HER INTO DEFENSE MODE except she’s not, and he’s there, and she can’t look directly at him and he moves in close and it’s so INTIMATE it’s so TENDER it’s like the earbuds sharing moment except somehow even MORE because now she’s aware, NOW the fluttering is there, the stolen glances, the close proximity, the way he relaxes when he’s close to her, the way he is being so much MORE than he’s been before. 

His tapping finger and that coy, flirty, finger dancing?! The way she glances away as her finger dances towards him, on some level aware of what it means what it is a little too shy too coy, he way he hesitantly joins in and it’s something so SILLY so GOOFY such a light, light moment and GOD it’s beautifully done? You can FEEL the flirtiness of it, you can FEEL the little butterflies, the shyness and hesitation. The way Nol’s smile fades and he becomes serious before his finger hooks around hers, the way she thinks he’s playing until she, too, realizes, he’s not UGH. /UGH/ I SCREAM!!!!!!! How is it that a single finger hooked around another makes me scale the walls like this?! It’s such a small thing, but it’s so BOLD, initiating a dance even though he must be in pain! His back?! His body?! He’s not even on morphine ;~; He’s just. ENDURING IT. 

And idk, I never know what’s going through his mind. The dance she offered him that they never got to share. Something more significant than fingers dancing, something that means MORE. 

And again, that’s the thing. I think he’s so at war with himself. He’s still calling her Yoo, but he’s touching and so close and initiating that dance and he can tell himself it doesn’t mean anything, but he already knows. He already figured that out last episode. Soon he’ll be gone and he’ll be away from the people he loves, all alone again, and he’s scared to go. He still can’t bring himself to use her name, he can’t be so familiar with her - and yet is this not a more familiar way of being? I feel like part of is is that feeling of how fleeting this moment is, wanting to capture as much of it as possible, finally acting on what he wants. All those times he’s reached out only to close his fist, and this time he isn’t hesitating, this time he isn’t denying himself. This is what he wants, so he goes for it. 

Will he regret it? I hope he’s far enough beyond his point of no return that he can’t. I hope he’s acting out of clarity that if this is the case, if this is how he feels, then why shouldn’t he allow himself this. Perhaps there’s fear that when he comes back it will all be different, that this will be a fleeting dream and everyone will move on without him. It feels like the cusp of a dream and reality, where you allow yourself to indulge because soon you return to the real world, to the waking nightmare of reality and this will be all you have left to carry with you. 

It feels even more likely when he crumbles when she mentions when he returns. Perhaps it could be that he DOES intend to never come back after he releases, but idk, I guess I’m just so hopeful that’s not the case? It could be a parallel to the hug in the rain, when she asked if any of it was real and he hugged her because it wasn’t until it was and he couldn’t bear to say so. But it also feels so much like he’s afraid. The way he buries his head in her shoulder, his face hidden so she can’t see his emotions, their hands still held at their side feels so much like he’s afraid and doesn’t want to say so, wants to put on a brave face but he can’t. “When he returns” because for a time he will be away and he just had the sweetest taste of calm and when he wakes up from this dream the waking nightmare resumes, he’ll again be all alone and it’s so much harder to go back to alone when you’ve had a taste for this, when you’ve indulged. How can he go back to before, how can he face this new stage alone? 

It’s such a sad little scene, the way they’re standing together, another dance interrupted, but at the same time, there’s something sweet. Very bittersweet, I guess. Maybe it’s just because he’s too weary and hasn’t had it in him to put up the walls again, but to see him, yet again, seeking that comfort in her, allowing himself something he once would have denied himself. Allowing himself to feel his feelings and to comfort himself. 

There’s just so much that is beautiful and painful about this episode. For this to be the first time he’s felt peaceful and calm and he nearly died in order to have this moment? The knowing that he will have to leave, that he’ll have to return to feeling small and insignificant, that he has to face a new fear when he goes to prison, when this little suspended moment in time is all over. While I personally think - or hope - we’ll get to see a positive transformation from Nol while he’s locked up, thanks to the counseling he’ll be going through, it’s still hard to watch him have to leave this. I don’t want to romanticize his sentence by any means lol but I do think being away from his family, away from the people who chip away at him and tear him down, can give him so peace to confront what he hasn’t been able to. I don’t think it will be a total transformation of any kind - just the necessary first steps. Nol needs to be away from the Hiraharas, and to learn to see the worth in himself. 

I mentioned this earlier in this post, but I’ve been thinking a LOT about perception of self, and how others see us. For instance, the version of me that I intimately know, that exists to me, doesn’t necessarily exist to others. Likewise, there are people who will see me in very different ways than I see myself, and it’s not that they don’t know me well, it’s just that we all are different people to everyone we know. We’re multifaceted and shaped by our experiences, but also by our actions and how we’ve affected the people with whom we interact. 

Nol sees himself as a villain, as a monster, as someone who needs to be punished. But that’s not the version of him that Shinae knows, or Dieter or Soushi, either. To them, he’s a hero, he’s someone who does good. Shinae described him as the sun and while I think that’s partly because of his bright smile and bubbly personality as Yeonggi, I think it’s also in the way that he can make things a little better for everyone. Nol has never been able to see himself the way others see him, though, because he’s so pre-occupied with the version of himself he knows, the one that’s been so heavily influenced by the Hiraharas. That he’s a mistake, that he shouldn’t exist, that everything would be better without him. And because he can’t see those versions of himself, he can’t see that it’s not true. Shinae certainly wouldn’t be better off without him, nor would Soushi or Dieter. BECAUSE he’s in their lives, they are better off. And that’s what he needs to learn to see, to reconcile with the version of him that exists. Because sure, that’s part of him. Maybe it’s not correct, but it’s a part of his identity. But so is the version of him that exists to his friends. So is the version of him that Nana loves. And obviously, it’s not so easy to wake up to those sides, because of how overwhelming this version of him is. But I hope that time away from the people who feed into that image, with some counseling might help him start to clear that away and better see himself for who he is, all the multitudes that he is. 

Because here’s the thing - people contain a range of good and bad, that’s what makes us human. Our choices ultimately define that, but so do our circumstances. This is why I can offer empathy towards characters like Kousuke and Alyssa who have made choices that we wouldn’t consider right, but make sense for their circumstances. Nol contains so much darkness, but he also contains so much light. Maybe he’s not as radiant as Yeonggi - but maybe it’s only because he hasn’t had the chance to be. Who could he be with a break from the people who tear him apart? Who could he be away from their influence? That’s what I’m keen to see, and that’s why I think he’s not intending to leave everyone after prison - or at least not GHOST people. Maybe he does need to get physically away, go to college abroad, but that doesn’t mean he’d be abandoning his friends this time. 

Nol’s real family sucks. But this family - his found family - they can bring him the joy and happiness he deserves, even before he thinks he deserves it. Again, maybe I’m just being really hopeful, but I just feel like this is a significant, defining moment for him, hopefully the beginning of him realizing he’s allowed to indulge, he’s allowed the same comfort he’s offered to others. 

Gosh what a tangent lol I know this post would be a mess. I JUST. I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS. I have sooooooo many disorganized feelings seeing Nol like this, how sad I feel how happy I feel how much my stupid heart pitter patters over his interactions with Shinae. The callback to the dance at the formal where she was so uncomfortable (BUT NOW! NOW! SHE’S NOT!!!!!!) the teasing about her dancing, and he WILL miss her. HE’LL MISS HER! UGH /GOD/ 

But boy do I hope Dieter is fast asleep lmao ;~; I don’t think Shinae or Nol are ready to face what is unfolding, but Dieter reads them so well, he’s aware of things before they are. He knows what he is, for lack of better word “competing” against, and I think maybe he even knows it’s a losing battle. He made his move and she turned him down and I think he’s accepted her friendship with grace and delight - getting to know her better, getting to grow closer to her than he ever thought. And god, isn’t it painful to watch her and know that she seems to be drawn somewhere else, that it’s nothing you can do anything about? Because Dieter loves Nol, too. He probably understands how someone would be drawn to him at all! And while I think Dieter is a character who would handle things with grace, it would still hurt. I don’t think Shinae and Nol are a thing that, if they ever happen, would do so any time soon, and by that time I like to think Dieter would be over Shinae in that way, that they’d be close friends still, that they’d be people who root for each other and want the best for each other. But for him to have that awareness NOW, ugh the pain. He’s already taken note of the way she is with Nol vs how she is with him, the way she was so overwrought when they found out about all the secrets and lies, when they found her crying in the rain. 

I DON’T WANT HIM TO GO THROUGH THAT DAMNIT ;A; 

But we are definitely at this point where it’s a little too obvious to deny, a little too obvious to look away from. Any attempt at earning Shinae’s affection feels like you’re competing with something else. Even if she’s not ready to face it and admit it yet, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist. Whether or not it’s romantic or not is for her to decide, but for us as readers, we know that it’s something significant, that they have a mutual effect on each other that’s undeniable. There is so much trust shared between them now - despite it all, she trusts him, and he knows now that he can trust and rely on her, too. And as an outsider, it’s just obvious that something is there, however that something is defined. It’s not a stretch to say that Nol takes a priority, that she will at this point push things aside for him. 

Even romance aside, I think this is a dynamic we’ll be seeing a lot of going forward, because Nol still is not fast to open up to people and to rely on them. Trusting Shinae like this, letting her in to this more vulnerable side, I think defines a lot of their relationship to come as they evolve. Maybe Nol will leave and go abroad and maybe Shinae will date other people in that time, but I think we’ll see that Nol maintains a special place in her heart, that will be difficult for a lot of people to compare to. How do you compare to someone who has these experiences with her, who has developed a bond through these trials and tribulations lol? 

GOD. 

I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS I JUST. WANNA!!!!!!!! SCREAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

[kanmom51]

I’ve been wondering if Jungkook is working on his solo album at all. We don’t hear much about that, other than his Dreamers schedule. Is there any news on when he might be releasing something or at least some timeframe for any teasers? Jimin has been steadily working really hard and we get small glimpses through the reveals of his collabs, but crickets about JK. I can’t help but wonder what he’s doing with all his time. Maybe someone’s heard something I haven’t come across.

We haven't heard about Suga either. Or Tae. But they are all working on their music, their albums or collabs.

Idk if you remember the Festa dinner months back, but there we were told Hobi will be first to release, and although they didn't share the actual order of releases JK did blurt out something about Suga being next and him to follow Suga.

That was all thrown out of the window with RM pushed forward and Jin's Astronaut. I also think the Busan concert threw them off a little too.

We don't know what brought about the change in order though.

Is it the order of their upcoming military service or perhaps issues with the actual material for the solo albums, not being ready yet.

BTS have been working damn hard over the past few months. Don't let the lack of content and unknown schedules deceive you.

I'd go so far as to say that the past few months leading up to Jin's enlistment have been one of the busiest and hardest times they had gone through. Working on creating content to fill close to 2 years of absence, working on their solo music, preparing for the Busan concert, working with other artists on collabs etc.

Add to that the uncertainty, the stress, the anger, not easy times.

I think the reason we aren't hearing about JK's activities is because he's not the next nor the next next, lol, to be releasing his solo.

Logically Suga should be next, as he would have to enlist by the end of March, which is probably why we got Suga and his talk over drinks 'show'.

As Hobi is already done, JM will follow. And we've seen him hard at work. He also told us he's hard at work. And this is by his choice (all the photos posted by the people he's worked with wouldn't have seen the light of day if he hadn't agreed to them being posted).

It's funny how people are saying JK is doing nothing. Less talk about Tae probably because he's being more visible (even if not by working on music).

Kind of plays to the same rhythm as something wrong with Jikook because we don't see them together. They aren't sharing their work process with us, doesn't mean they aren't working. We knew about Left and right for the first time around JK's trip to NY before their visit to the White house. He recorded it way before that. I also want to remind you of RM talking about Indigo, telling us how long he's been working on that album. JK or Tae not being up next does not mean they aren't working on their music, for their own solo albums or for collabs with others. Doesn't mean they aren't writing, producing, recording.

Either of them not sharing their work with us doesn't mean they aren't actually working.

Add to that how JK has gone all stealth on us in the months following the wipeout of his IG account. At first he was sharing with us. Moments, clips, stories with actual fan interaction, showing his utter love for army. But something happened. Was this a belated reaction to the whole JM stolen mail and breach of privacy issue? Was his reception at NY the final straw? Who knows. What we do know is that it's all gone, and replaced by a super professional very cold concept with zero to little moments shared, that is, that aren't promotional in one way or another. Very pretty. Very detached and distant. JK said "I've had enough" and disconnected.

Anyways, bottom line, work, in some shape or form, is being done even if we aren't privy to it.

[sickgraymeat]

which fic should i prioritize! (non-poll)

Ok it turns out I cannot make a poll haha. Hi I'm writing bubbline fic on ao3!! I'm having a hard time narrowing down my focus and I'm hoping a little feedback will motivate me. If you have any interest in any of these pls reply or send an ask if you wanna be anonymous (although if @peachpaws0 is the only one to respond then anonymity may not work lol (thank you))

Here are my current WIPs that have a good shot of being finished someday!!! I tried to make like cool teasers which idk they sound silly but I hope they at least get the basics across. Listed in order (top-bottom) of most to least developed right now, but doesn’t necessarily indicate how long I’ll take to finish. All (probably) oneshots and under E rating bc that’s me. Also obvs subject to change but hopefully not enough to disappoint! (Sorry this is so super wordy; I promise I'm better at editing fic than posts lol)

🏝️ (guest starring Hunson Abadeer, all of the Scream Queens, Neddy, Lolly, & Pepp But) — Marceline’s solo tour of the islands leads her to explore a side of her roots she’s been carefully avoiding for a long time. For Bonnie — manager, roadie, and travel companion to the star — roots have never felt further away. 

🔇 (guest starring Finn, Neddy, Ash, Jake, Pepp But, Simon) — Contemporary human au set near Christmas. Bonnie, a prosthetist who’s spent the past six years trying to forget her ex, finds it a bit more challenging when Marceline’s new release hits the top of the charts.

🕰️ (guest starring BMO and Finn) —  Marcy and Bonnie mourn the deaths of their favorite humans, decades apart. While Marceline struggles with the incongruity of her young body and ancient mind, Bonnie finds it increasingly difficult to stay nice and pink. 

🍬 (guest starring Gumbald, Neddy, Lolly, Chicle, Pepp But, and BMO) — The Punchbowl spills on Tiny Taffy Princess. She won’t stop asking Marceline to dance with her. 

🥂 (guest starting Glassboy and STP) — Bonnie and Marcy return to the Glass Kingdom ten years post Obsidian as guests of honor at the updated Molto Larvo ceremony. For Glob’s sake, no one has anything to prove.

[wannabegwenstacy]

Writing Ideas:

okay, so this is what's gonna happen. i'm feeling manic and i got some free time from work and school currently. sooo..i'm gonna throw out a few ideas/teasers for some stuff i have in my drafts. if you like please tell me so i have some motivation to finish or even keep working on these ideas. thank you! ;)

Enrapture;

wordcount: currently at 8k...will most likely be over 10k and this planned to be part 1

pairing: Jimin x Taehyung x Fem. Reader/OC

tags: smut, fluff, childhood friends to friends w/ benefits to lovers, established relationship (friendship!), flashbacks, talk of college mayhem,

warnings: 18+ NSFW Smut, Alcohol Consumption, Talk of the Pandemic and Quarantine (it's set during the pandemic and the characters are in quarantine for part of it), talk of poor mental health (abandonment issues and some other stuff), masurbation, nudism, oral (m & f), nipple piercing (reader has them, vmin suck them), hair pulling (m), cock riding of the reverse kind, Taehyung has got a big dick but that's a given, cum eating, lazy eiffel tower..kinda, slight voyeurism, jimin at one point gives himself a hand job.

summary: When you you ended up moving in with your two best friends of 9 years to quarantine together during the pandemic the last thing you expected was to discover more about them than you thought you already knew. You knew everything there was to know about these boys so why does it feel so weird when one night after your celebration of quarantine being lifted when you wake up in one their beds all three of you together? this should be fine but it was far from just fine like you told them. This could change everything.

notes: i have been writing this for like 2+ years off and on. it's the first thing in my drafts lol like I add on and change things constantly. i want to finish it but this is the reason of my writers block/not posting. so i would love to get it out but i struggle.

The Boyz as College AUs

wordcount: sangyeon's aint even finished and its already 1.6k of bullet points. i have 11 members to write ranging from 1k - 2k words each..

tags: suggestive, maybe smut idk yet, fluff, crack, college au, very trope-y, i fell first but they feel harder trope, right person wrong time trope, slow burn bullet point style for most, slice of life, enemies to lovers!, best friends to lovers, okay you know what just assume probably every trope will be covered

warnings: possible smut..mdni, okay umm actual smut i just reread jacob's when making this 👀, talks of heavy anxiety, very cheesy, most likely all written lowercase on purpose, wip so not 100% sure of every thing yet

summary: this is gonna be formatted like my Bangtan in Bed thing I did years ago but more fluffy not so smutty. Pretty self explanatory but The boyz as College AUs! meaning how I imagine each of the boyz if you met them in another life in college.

notes: this one is my newest one in my drafts so it might take the most time to finish. might be a series but might be a master post we will see!

Bangtan in Bed: Jeon Jungkook | NSFW

wordcount: i usually do around 1k for these

tags: smut..and more smut

warnings: (this is the warnings i had from where i left off writing this part over a year ago. subject to change.) baby boy kookie, massages, dry humping, strong senses, sensory play, mood setting, daredevil kookie, risky sex, stamina control, strength kink, wall sex, shower sex, standing up sex, thigh riding, overstimulation (receiving), forced orgasms (receiving), praise kink (receiving), phone sex, guided masturbation, mutual masturbation

summary: how jeon jungkook might be in bed based off my opinion!

notes: i haven't touched this in a LONG TIME! I probably need to go back and change a bunch i already written. i also honestly need to go back and edit the other members to kinda see if they still hold up. I did get a request to finish this series a while back and it's been eating at me so that's why this is on here.

[redrawthecolorlessworld]

(not exactly) poorly explaining rhymix characters' backstories (part 3)

hi everyone

———

1. Colorless

how convenient that he's first...!

guy who has seen The Horrors of the World™ and loses all hope in everything and basically views the world as colorless.........do you get it now

a lot more might be elaborated during main story. who knows tho lol

2. Lea

i don't have much to say other than the fact that she had connections with spasmodic...... (lesbianism????!!!!! /hj)

3. Pandora Paradox

used to be The One Who Transcends All until she decided to do something that may have already been mentioned in past fic posts (aka her wanting to end the world because she thought that it's imperfect and shit like that). she got stopped by tsunagite and then boom. into prison realm she goes. after centuries or smth idk she gets released by tsuna because tsuna feels bad and misses her :(( let's go lesbians let's go. YURIIIIIII

4. Tsunagite

was a normal human being at first. also met pandora and bonded with her for like a full year or smth i forgor. pandora tries to fuck shit up and then tsuna stops her and seals her away into her prison realm. pandora ends up transferring some of her powers of tsunagite, entrusting her with the task of finding a successor for her. also tsuna misses her so she lets pando out like. a long time later. this is incomprehensible.

5. Mope Mope

was in an abusive household. watched her dad kill her mom right infront of her. the dad eventually gets arrested but she just. hates him a lot. eventually craves violence. lol

6. Mayoeru

she had a loved one. they live far away from memoria, though. she only met them once during a summer festival and never saw them again ever since. that's all

7. Trap Crow

.....will be elaborated in side story 1.

8. Aria

Nothing™

9. Suito

one of the first living beings to set foot onto rhymix. has lived a long life, and even got to know many people. his life isn't too interesting, aside from the very obvious beef between the elves and the humans of gyroscopia.

10. Ling Hao Cheliang

used to be a very upbeat and actually emotional kid, but then the experiments and the prosthesis replacements kind of fucked with his memories and his ability to feel emotions so. whoops

11. Ether Second

is simply here to complement with ether strike

12. Nhelv

explained in his introductory:

he used to like composing music but then after entering music contests and losing all of the time he gets really burnt out. do you see the reference and inspiration here yet

13. Random

dude idfk he's just there living his life taking whatever comes at him as if his playing baseball or smth idfk

14. #D3D3D3

sort of explained in her introductory??

the experiments related to the prosthesis led her to view the world and the universe in general as nothing. just blank. a Blank Universe.

Heh.

15. World Vanquisher

idk yet L

16. Convergence

i can't tell you this early, y'know? you gotta find out through something else. just wait until that time arrives.

17. Defection

worked for testify for a long time. that's all

18. Infinite Strife

has beef with world ender ever since they first met. that is literally all

also she actually has her own fear. nobody else should know about it yet.

19. Frey

sort of explained in his character teaser post

used to be a bright young kid who others would think would grow up to become someone remarkable one day. he said a lot of philosophical things too. however notalano lost its color, and at the same time, frey lost his parents. so he became more quiet and reserved ever since.

20. Horizon Blue and Bloody Marquis

used to be close friends, and even blue had feelings for marquis. but then they got taken in but uhhhhh astaroth, i guess???? and then marquis changed and blue is sad :(

21. The 90's Decision

she doesn't have too much shit going on with her. dw abt it. she's having fun

22. Pure

i don't really know yet ouch

23. solips

has always been curious of the world around him, including being curious of Himself???? damn bro what the fuck. idk what else to say i haven't really fleshed him out that much yet

24. Vulcanus

used to be friends with technicolour, and during the horrible accident in their hometown, he managed to escape and survive. now he resides in gyroscopia, waiting for the day where he and techni can reunite again

also he befriended inverted world. lol

speaking of inverted world...

25. Inverted World

she doesn't have much going on with her. she just really wants to travel all over the world, and maybe even go into parallel universes herself. that's all

THAT'S ALL OF THEM YAYYYYY

[x-v4mp3y3lin3r-x]

long post where i talk about Halloween Horror Nights, rant about Howl-O-Scream, and then also say some good things too lol

safe to say that HHN setting their swamp zombies themed scarezone in Louisiana might be an attempt to disassociate the concept from Vodou? I'm unsure if that's disappointing (a well-created swamp zombie theme set in, oh idk, south florida, based on vodou, would've been interesting IF pulled off correctly?) or if I'm grateful that FL HHN AND both Howl-O-Scream's seem to be managing to pull of their events without any misused Voodoo motifs this year?? all three of them?? oh I'm so proud

2021/2022 HoS Tampa had a Louisiana Voodoo scare zone that was weird. Inaccurate. Very uncomfortable. The whole thing was themed around Voodoo dolls— which aren't even used in Louisiana Voodoo. (And aren't prominent in Haitian Vodou, either.) And some time before that they had a "Voodoo Queen" event icon— which I guess is sort of more accurate than having white people in Spirit Halloween Dr. Facilier costumes walk around (Seriously, the scare zone was bad)— and her house (which ran for like a decade straight, actually) was at least sort-of grounded in Voodoo, it at least referenced the folklore of zombies, but again, featured fucking Voodoo dolls!

And Howl-o-Scream Orlando has been no better, using the same "Witchcraft Bayou" scarezone ALL 3 YEARS SO FAR, with fucking Voodoo dolls as the imagery, and AGAIN the knockoff Dr. Facilier costumes 😭 This year they don't have it listed on the site, though, thank god.

My thing is that, I am BY NO MEANS an expert on Voodoo or Vodou, I just wish that the cultures weren't so heavily demonized by using them exclusively for horror, and misrepresenting them, at that. [Especially here, where people do practice vodou/voodoo, it seems very insensitive] AND NO MORE VOODOO DOLLS! So yeah, I'm so grateful that after a whole fucking decade, that Howl-O-Scream (and hopefully HHN) may actually be letting go of the distasteful Voodoo motif

And of course to end on a lighter note, I'm happy to point out that Tampa is doing a SKUNK APE themed scarezone!!! That's Florida culture right there babey!!! I'm dead set on going to Orlando's HoS this year, which makes me sort of sad to miss skunk ape :[

Orlando also has teased a beach-themed scare zone that hasn't been announced yet, called "Paradise Palms", which I'm so morbidly excited for. The teaser photo is a counter bell, so maybe it's gonna be resort themed, and GOD that's fun!! I'm guessing it's gonna be paired with the unannounced "Water's Edge Wellness Center" haunted house? Which is ALSO something I'm dying to hear about tbh. Orlando has had such interesting themes, and yet they've been pulling them off so well that I've been tripping over myself to go every year lol. They've also yet to announce a scare zone called "Cannibal Harbor" which is also gonna be exciting, I'm sure.

So yeah, mixed feelings galore. Somebody should tell me if there's a word to describe the downright Orientalist view of Voodoo that most people have thanks to it being misrepresented in horror. (Actually, maybe it's JUST Orientalism? note to self, research that more later when my tummy don't hurt)

[urwendii]

19 and 29 😁

19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs.

idk where this go yet (i lie, i do) but here's a not so small preview of ATFB far in the plot bc i just wrote that scene (who writes chronologically anyway):

"What is this place? I have never been here."

"Do you see that mountains range over there?" Mairon gestures toward his left, "From there to the hills behind the river is a piece of the ancient lands of Old." He cannot prevent the soft nostalgic smile, "A remnant of Almaren, untouched by the Shadow. The last piece of my first Home."

Darker memories of the fall of the Lamps and the First Age arise swiftly despite the fond memories it brings to think of Almaren but he makes a conscious effort to remain in the present.

"The earth here is older than Endóre, tread with caution. It carries memories."

Readjusting his grip on Amarëa he resumes walking through the glade, the blades of silver grass gently dancing in the breeze. The silence here was loud to Mairon's ears. The land was ancient and recognised one of her maker, it sings in an old melody coaxing long stiffled yearning from him.

"You believe we could be safe here?"

He ponders his answer for a minute before settling for the truth. Always, as he has promised her. Turning to the Elf by his side he sighs and shakes his head,

"I cannot tell. Melkor never bothered with these parts but he had power over all the matter of Ambar." Knowledge Mairon had once offered in his naivety and love for the God. He looks towards the still slumbering Amarëa and forces himself to come up with a more satisfying answer. Or plan at the very least. Going back to Ossë empty handed was out of the question. For his own sanity more than his pride.

"But the Orcs and others creatures of his making have no knowledge of these lands. It should offer us enough reprieve." For now.

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

Oh i mentioned the scene with Uinen I had to take out in PYL, I wont post the entire scene as it is LONG lol but here's a few lines:

[...]Mairon had been lost to them, Ossë almost . These were times she disliked to remember, Ossë had been under constant supervision by both Ulmo and Manwë until he regained both their trusts and Uinen - even if eternally glad to have him back - had wanted to confront their King at the hypocrisy of it all, was it not Manwë who succumbed to his brother’s deceit as well, why was he not punished? such dark thoughts had climaxed upon the Aqualondë’s slaughter by Fëanor, she remembered the helplessness of such heinous crimes , paradise soiled by eldar blood and in her anguish she had awoken a mighty storm and sunk many of the Noldor’s ships. 

Uinen had not been proud of it, she had broken into tears at the lingering taste of her own darkness, had felt her own fëa shook with the revelation at how easy it had been to give in into that power. Maybe it had been this reason why after the War of the Powers and the casting of Morgoth through the door of the Night, Ossë and her had then spent most of their time around Númenor. 

When the scarred spirit of Mairon was sensed approaching the Enchanted Islands Ulmo had raged, sent Ossë to deal with Morgoth’s lieutenant but she had pleaded with them to show restraints, hasn’t Aulë shown mercy to Ossë? Should they not extend this to Aulendil? For instead of a vengeful spirit Uinen saw only someone who had given up not only on himself but on others, someone who would not allow mercy for his own ravaged soul. Mairon’s fire had been put out, a small candle - barely there - flickering in the chasm of his darkened spirit. For every step he took he stumbled through the shadows clinging to every rough edge of his soul. 

[noliaert]

lowkey it's fine not being associated with those ppl actually

anyway!

MORE IWTV WIPS

I'll perhaps add more of my reflections onto this later, but for now...

Btw! 👇

First one from up top is now done and posted here.

Butch-femme paris loumand: I've posted the wip seperately as well! 👉 Link ! You get another teaser by following the link!

Oh I kinda go crazy about this one

2. Kitty Lou. Idk what to tell you.

Based on this painting "cat in sofa" by martin leman that someone posted on twitter lol 👇

THE WIP SERIES.

The next few technically became part of a wip series... which only 1 has been posted so far- that of louis in the night (the colour being: purple/liliac/indigo?). The purpose was originally to just... try lower my standards for drawing and just get started sketching. And it *did* help me start out a *couple* of wips actually! Finishing however... It's all done on square canvases as well. I wanted to use different bases to play more with colour as well, and it proceeded in me wanting to make a piece for all the colours in the pride flag (not the progress one though) 😭 and then cause I had *more* ideas or just more things I wanted to draw at one point- I moved onto the original pride flags colours to give me more.

Claudia (HOT PINK). A dedicated piece to delainey's claudia, depicting a younger very recently turned claudia, seeing in the mirror manifested a version of herself that she began longing for- and with a companion that sees her to follow (madeline's hand on her shoulder w a pin between two fingers to depict the process of adjusting the dress in the dressing mirror). I wanted to draw her in that cute pink lilac dress she shes in the dressing window and wears on her first night at tdv. A hopeful piece in the sense that, that which she desired desperately and despaired would not come to pass, is something which she actually found in the end. Even... if for only a short while.

2. Claudeline (RED): One of my wips, or my main claudeline wip anyway. It gets more elaborate than this, but yes! Originally based myself on the turning scene (basically got a sketch I can post there), but then I wanted to pick a different feeding-scenario for them and the red.

+ Something more of a teaser

3. Louis (ORANGE/YELLOW). There's one that was dedicated to louis' grief. A simple sketch. I wanted to do yellow, for what ended up being claudia's colour, if I pick it for orange then it would make it a *warm* yellow. Though I was having trouble with the sketch and what I wanted it to be. Like- it was really simple, mind. Actually, I had two in a sense, but I abandoned the other one.

4. Daniel (YELLOW). Old man as a vamp preying on whoever for a snack, got a few sketch ideas. But yea. If the previous one is a warm yellow, then this is a colder yellow, almost green-ish, but functionally a yellow.

5. DM/armandaniel/ARMAND BITING (GREEN): Like. it's technically DM fanart, BUT the purpose was to focus on armand's blown out eyes when he went in for the meal (need to see more of them 👀). The eclipsed orange eyes. It's practically almost done, I could technically just post it. But esp considering the extra effort I went to with the louis one, I want to fix it up. Like get the nails in, and make sure I get the angle of his head as I wanted. And cause it's close to finished- as far as I know, outside of a clean-up cause it's sketchy... I lowkey don't want to share it here. Teaser though I guess.

6. Lestat (BLUE/TEAL/TURQUOISE). Uh something lestat, idk what exactly. But there's this lmao. I wonder if I should... work off of that one idea I had from S1 🤔

7. Lesmand/armandstat (VIOLET). 🥂Since it ended up being two of them... But yea, a sorta intimate love-hate freaky relationship thing. Also important- cat behaviour!

Only in sketchiest sketch/idea phase

Tears. THIS ONE THIS ONE THIS ONE. I lowkey tried to start gathering references and getting familiar with better capturing their eyes & the wanted expression. So I have a few sketches, but yea, majorly- this is it. So far. But I really wanna do it. Each one of them looking in different directions (chosen with purpose), and depicting different emotional ways of depicting their tears that feels fitting to their character.

2. S2 (not pictured): a dedicated piece to S2, kinda akin to the time glass one for S1, though more to capture loumand's dynamic from paris to dubai. The *discomforting* loumand. The abusive loumand (that is from armand, don't get confused). Mixing the bench scene into the room with the stones (😐) and the magnolia tree. Kinda the whole... slow suffocation, the poisoned tip, the megaladon, the tiger, the wolf in sheep's clothing bleating from his lap. ect. ect. Trying to figure it out and to effectively show its effect on louis.

3. Riccardo & Armand (+ Marius sneak): I WANT TO DO A RICCARDO AND ARMAND PIECE! Tell me if anyone else has done this yet??? Like have someone done this exact thing??? Or is it only so clear in my head that I think they have???? Overall I haven't seen too many arts from tva/with riccardo, but I want to do them. Like I'm genuinely worried there's an exact piece like this already o_o

4. Claudia in that red dress! And leaning on the rails of one of those swirly stairs! WE NEED MORE ARTS WITH THAT RED DRESS FROM THE PROMO!

I've got other sketches as well but for WIPS? Idk, I think that's... marjoly it? 🤔🤔🤔 WAIT right. I actuallyy have more ideas for self indulgent loumand yuri wips. lmao.

WHEN I SAY IWTV'S BEEN LIKE A MUSE TO ME??? YOU GET IT??? CAUSE I HAVEN'T DRAWN THIS MUCH FOR *ANYTHING* ELSE. NOT EVEN THE LOKI/LOKE ITERATIONS (which I do have more unfinished wips/sketch ideas than posted)! (Wait actually VS a big contender, but it's still not to the same degree). IF ONLY I DIDN'T STRUGGLE WITH FINISHING THEM 😭😭😭😭

NOLIAERT'S IWTV WIPS

Okay so I thought to show off some of my WIPs for IWTV (amc), especially since I've not managed to finish off most of my WIPS regardless of how excited I have been for them :/ IWTV in 2022 was like a muse to me! I had so many wips! But little or nothing to show for it (cause extensive projects got overwhelming) 😔 I have however finished off 2 loumand pieces since S2 started off, 1 that had too been a wip from 2022 (I'll edit in a link once I post it, I've done so on twitter, but I feel the need to fix on some things... majorly is the issue one of the louis-es as it was a 3, initially 4,-in-1 piece :/ was rushing cause of the looming loumand divorce and doom, otherwise known as S2 "trial" finality, was approaching... and I was feeling 😅 about the reception of softer loumand kisses at the time. Like- timing!)!

1. Batnight: I worked out this timeglass composition to symbolise Louis' transformation into vampirism after he entered that church one fateful night. The trifecta of the vampfam, the time encapsulated by death and by blood, something which Louis seemingly has a different relationship to than most living vampires as the "tortured vampire". All focusing on the drop of blood, but with different expressions. Idk if i should do anything with the background of the bottom half of the timeglass though 🤔I'm meant to sketch out Louis' family and community from the wedding on the top half, as the sun sets (or rise...) behind the family home (sorry), a life now closed off to him. Vampires and bats- uncontested. The church? It is one from New Orleans S1 and I remember asking for the ref, but I am uncertain that it is the correct church when thinking back on it. Which is 🧍 Also as I started on this late 2022, I had only Bailey!Claudia to go off of, which I'll probably stick to for this one. Would be cool with both! But idk if I can extend that energy. I do need to figure out which of her hairstyles to do though 🤔 and I've been learning more about how to draw black hair so that's fun too

CLAUDIA WIPS! (Both from late 2022)

2: For the first one? Something about the tragedy of claudia, for S1, leaning towards the middle, Claudia the child, the eternal teenager, but a breaking into maturity and adulthood, on... the child witnessing the troubles of their parents, and of the child failed by their parents. Claudia standing in ashes alone (oh not the born from ashes turned to ashes 😭 at least she wasn't entirely alone by the end but had someone choose to face the same fate with her over her own living ♡), looked down upon from our pov to showcase her continued positions of disadvantage. Not the most thought out composition or anything, just wanted to draw Claudia, but these were the things I was thinking about while doing so. Also just really want to try make more dynamic compositions. Try that is.

3: The second one is me wanting to either do a 3-piece with smaller edits, or a 3(+?)-in-1, showing off a little vaguely different stages in Claudia's life back in S1. Or maybe a combined 1 if I figure it out. Combining the cutesy and the horror ✌️ Since these were majorly just sketches, I should be able to try draw Delainey!Claudia! And though S2 makes for SO MUCH inspo too, I'm scared to start on more new things. An irony. But I'd like to finish some more ideas.

4 & 5: Lestat wips! First one is really just a sketch trying to capture his face, buuut the second one? My attempts at a gorier more horrific looking corpsestat since I was feeling robbed by the S1 finale? Oh certainly 🙏 gotta figure out how best to pose Claudia and Louis though, to make sure I make the right impression I wanted 🤔 may have to flip him over too... idk just... extensive work, but I've been especially excited about this one as well as batnight (and the soon-to-be-posted loumands)!! Both from late 2022.

6: St. Paul! Ah the brothers! 🙏 the impact his family, and specifically Paul, has on Louis cannot be understated (S2E8 final dubai scene 😊). Kinda get so emotional when I've been rewatching S1E1 too ;-; another wip from 2022! I so rarely have seen pieces of Louis' family, or human family, which is a shame. I really wanted to do one for Louis and Paul though, and so I ended up with this wip meant to symbolically (far from vague though hah) capture some of that "confessional relationship" (can't escape the catholism) they had, but in a more playful youthful setting. Lowkey pointing towards an elevated sainthood of the future dead too. Paul being Louis' closest confidante, and someone who wanted to be a priest. Many thoughts on Paul really. Paul practicing I suppose, during their teenage years, Louis happily entertaining him and then glancing over his shoulder at- I am thinking Grace, their sister. I found the angle of Louis' head challenging though (been feeling intimately on my limitations), and as it is, I need some refs of Jacob to actually capture HIM too, and not just the angle.

Now unfinished iwtv wips from 2024...

Armand wips! But yea, I already had ideas, but I've felt prompted during S2 to draw more Armand due to the whole Assad Zaman fanbook thing that I thought could be nice to join in on. I've struggled to draw though, even if I have finished the 3-in-1 loumand thing and the spontaneous loumand cig-kiss piece, so I was really damn rushing 😅

7: It's possible I'm mixing ideas... different intents. So I'll have to review it again. I wanted one more bitey one, I was thinking of the "easeful death" scene of E5, but with a different angle. Was initially thinking active feeding I think, with half-lidded eyes or direct eye contact... to put emphasis on the darkening of his eyes in those moments. It's funky and I really wanted to draw it, though I guess this is getting too distant to really see it much. Something something generally about vampirism, a general victim, putting emphasis on the blood that they provide. First by extended blood dripping down the throat, now by the body being the blood fully visually. Something classy, yet... I want to reposition the arms and have the head burrowed further into the neck to actively feed as first intended. I also think I am certainly thinking about an intimate art piece for the whole gentlemanly death feel, so maybe i should try actually find the piece for reference. Also, it's not exactly in this sketch, but I too want to have him in that E2 or E3 coven suit, with vague coven/cult figures in the background. We never really see him feed (properly, of a human), but I've been thinking about the... parent providing food for his children thing (motorbike scene E2), or the "let me teach you" of E3... So a "lead by example" sort of thing, like pre of the picture of the mountain lion and her cub feeding of a carcass sort of thing XD leant too much into the whole typical romantic imagery as I kept going and finally got some of that posture right (and so I tought). But these are the ideas ✨️

8: Armand too got ahold of a switch btw <3 Armand and electronics huh, or... not necessarily only electronics and technology. There's a general almost manic curiosity, which is especially found in that one DM chapter that I kind of adore (smh to private island and blabla tho). A mood, though I'm not making ratshakes 🫢 Assad was talking about it too in an interview though, relating to that fascination, so I kinda wanted to make a piece leaning in on that. Had a few vague compositions, some with more of that almost cold intensity of E5, but here he's more just chilling (doesnt mean it doesnt get intense) ^^ I also wanted to display an evolution of technologies, at least within a certain timeframe, so physically stacking a room with different stuff? Like that works XD because I was rushing for the deadline, I fear I only got to send in the wip (one in an even earlier stage than this one)... which is a real shame 😔 I am excited to finish it though!

Anyway 👍

[smittenskitten]

Aof Noppharnach Chaiwimol

The director and screenwriter of A Tale of Thousand Stars

P'Aof has been making content for GMMTV as early as 2017 with My Dear Loser as a screenwriter. He is best known for directorial work in creating some of the best queer content.

Some of those work includes: He's Coming To Me (2019), Dark Blue Kiss (2019), Still 2gether (2020), A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021), Bad Buddy (2022)

P.S My thoughts are rather haphazard sooo yeah! These are just some stray thoughts.

The stories P'Aof works with are are always very interesting. Are these stories flawless? Absolutely not, as much as I love ATOTS I can still poke holes in it. With all the flaws and all I do love atots if it wasn't obvious already.

According to P’Aof, he wanted to make ATOTS into a series since he read the novel in 2016/17. So technically this show had been in the making for a long time. They aired their first teaser back in 2019 but before they could start shooting you know what happened and everything shut down. Even after starting the shoot there were lots of obstacle like changing location, building an entire set (Tian’s house, the school) from scratch, nature, climbing cliffs with all their shooting equipment.

They faced a lot to make this show, and there were some fandom lores tidbits that was quite interesting (someone should make another post about the making of ATOTS!!!)

Watching P'Aof's shows I have always felt like I am watching a story unfold about two people instead of a typical BL (IDK if that makes sense!). The focus on emotions is another reason what makes his shows so great.

Shows like ATOTS, Bad Buddy has quite a grip on people. How many of us are still mentally living in Pha Pun Dao? Or in the rooftop of PatPran’s building?

With ATOTS I got introduced to more of P'Aof's works. After having watched most of the shows he created, I appreciate the craft and the craftsman's effort in making his shows better than the last one.

P’Aof also has a knack for doing cameos. If you are watching ATOTS right now, keep your eyes on episode 5 👀

Personally, I think P'Aof is a fan of thorathat (I have no way of proving this excerpt for what I have observed LOL). He loves the drama in his shows. Bad Buddy with family feud, ATOTS with heart transplant = love connection (but not really).

But none of them come close to what he did with Dark Blue Kiss. To this day DBK has the most dramatic opening I have seen in a BL (even if you haven't seen the drama check out the opening credits)

Maybe it's P'Aof’s flare for the dramatics that gives me hope for his next project (hopefully coming out this year!!! 🤞) Moonlight Chicken, starring EarthMix. While the theme or the title of the show is not that popular, I am looking forward to watching it.

So let's manifest another great show from P’Aof 🙏

[cotccotc]

i feel the same that your anon!! i've went on hiatus for a bit this year and ever since then i've been on this road of wanting to deactivate but not doing it (bc i feel like i will regret it) and then feeling better and start posting again and then feeling awful and wanting to delete everything etc. i think it's also about this feeling that you need to always be active bc if not you lose almost all your engagement (which is extremely demotivating). i remember going on hiatus after writing tcp because i was so burnt out and stressed since i push myself to write it even tho i was having classes and extra curricular stuff all day, everyday because i felt kind of an obligation to do so? like if i post on the teaser that i would realese it this day then it NEEDS to be this day, no matter what. it got to the point that i was super tired to even reply to anons (but i kept doing so, because again, these people took time to talk to me so i should be excited and happy even tho i'm not). but when i came back after taking some time (that was like, a month) my blog was as dead as it could be and i had no anons or notes, which made me feel extremely self conscious about things. after this i just been working on not forcing myself too much and remembering that, even tho i super grateful for the community i've built here and for the people that follows me, this is not a job and i'm here to have fun (therefore is ok to take breaks when i dont feel like posting), overall just trying not to feel too guilty when things don't go as planned. anyway massive rant lol sorry!!

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACKKKKKK it’s kinda tough to admit or talk about bc u don’t want to sound ungrateful …. but it’s definitely still an issue !! i think we’ve all kinda gotten into the habit of expecting more from ourselves than we can offer, maybe. like i started out on tumblr seeing all of these “big” writing blogs posting tons of long fics in (what seems like) a short period of time, or gfx creators being really on top of content w gifs and stuff, so u just naturally assume the whole community is just .. on all the time ! and engagement can have a lot to do w it too. i’ve found that my posts do better at certain times, for certain members, and with a certain amount of relevance (for ex: editing photo shoot pics right after they come out) but a lot of the time, that isn’t practical. and neither is being active w asks and dms all the time !!!

idk the main take away is: we all collectively need to stop giving a FUCK and be COMPLETELY UNHINGED & ACTIVE OR HERMIT-LIKE & LAZY AS WE WANNA BE without any need for explanation 😂

[yoongsisbae]

Content Tag Game

thank you @inkofyoongi for the tag and also bless you for the Poetica teaser I'm crying already!!! Yoongi and y/n kissing oh my heart.

1. what fandoms have you written for (but do not currently)? Harry Potter and Attack on Titan

2. what fandoms are you currently writing for? BTS

3. how long have you been writing? Writing online, I wrote HP ff when I was a preteen. Oh god it was horrible, it was a lot of silly meme worthy stuff, but that was half the fun in the HP fandom back in the day, then years later I tried to write one AOT ff and it did not do well lol, I think I maybe got two comments one of them being really mean lol and I gave up and left my story unfinished and moved on from ff (funnily enough I based a scene in one of my HOAL chapters off of it and no complaints so ha!...lol.) Then a friend bought me a dream journal, and I fell back in love with writing again after HOAL 🥰

4. on which platforms do you post your stories? I have a Wattpad and I just created an Ao3 to crosspost.

5. what is your favourite genre to write? Angst, I guess I am just a masochist.

6. are you a pantser or a planner? Well I am definitely not a planner, so I guess I'm a pantser lol. I rather just write the story instead of planning. I vaguely know the endings, the problem is most of my stories start out as dreams, and what usually happens in dreams??? That's right, you wake up BEFORE the ending. So then I have the arduous task of figuring out what else is supposed to happen lol, I feel like if I just write it out it will somehow magically come together in the end, planning is unnecessary stress I don't need lol.

7. one shot or multi-chapter? You know I really admire one shot writers, but I am just not built like that...

8. what is the perfect chapter length in your opinion? I would say as a writer and what I also prefer reading, between 6k and 10k is the sweet spot.

9. what is your longest published story? is it complete? Handshakes of a Lifetime is almost at 55k words 👀 and I would say it's half way done?

10. which story did you enjoy working on the most? I really love writing HOAL, some of the chapters were very therapeutic to write 🥲. During the beginning chapters I was going through a lot of chronic pain and there were long stretches where I was so engrossed I forgot about the pain which if you've ever suffered from chronic illness, is like finding a raft in the middle of the ocean. But also Run Run Run made me hysterically laugh for hours (the visuals in my head are something else man), I already know I am going to have so much fun finishing that story.

11. favourite request you’ve written and why? I don’t take requests, however there have been times when I requested myself to write lol. Instead of word vomiting all over my blog and oversharing to you guys who probably do not want to listen to my ugly problems, I said, hey, why not just take all that pain and channel it into a story instead? Because that's why people follow me after all and I'm a woman of the people lol, and that's how Blue and Grey was written. It's short and simple, and it's one of my favorite stories I've ever written.

12. are there reocurring themes in your stories? Hmmm pain lol, whether it be pleasurable pain or not lol. Again, my stories start out as dreams, so they are pretty random. I do notice there's a lot of “escaping”, that might just be a dream thing idk.

13. current number of wips? HOAL, C!HOC, RRR, BV:ITS, a cross over fandom story I am so excited for and will write before the year is up (I just somehow need to become a smarter writer before then), a cute theme story I want to release on Halloween, 6 angsty one shots for each member (Namjoon's is already written), and an unnamed invasion AU story that I hope will see the light of day, but I have so many questions as to what is going on and have to figure out those answers before I post it (also I don't know know if I should add another ongoing fic and do that to myself lol)

14. three things you have noticed about your own writing? I love cliff hangers, they are just so much fun, I truly can't help myself. I also can't help putting a hopeful spin on my writing, even when I think I shouldn't, the story would be more meaningful if I didn't, but I am a hopeless romantic so sue me. And even if my stories are very fantasy driven, I try to be as realistic as possible, especially during smut scenes, I need realism, I don't like writing unrealistic sex, so sorry if it’s not that fantastical sometimes, I try to make it up in story pacing 🥲🥲.

15. a quote you like from a published story. Chapter 4 of HOAL is full of sentences I am proud of lol. "...a storm so final in its answer, it must be controlled by the Grim Reaper himself." and "...rain droplets clash against the ocean, open like umbrellas, and the sea throws back tiny gems of water." I really tried to portray that calm before the storm feeling throughout the chapter.

16. a quote from an unpublished story. Here is a part of the unnamed story, "Namjoon never came back. You take out your phone, pull up Namjoon’s number. You don’t have a pen or pencil, and you’ve never been good at memorization. But this time you have to, you must remember the ten numbers as if your life depended on it, because you’re starting to feel like it might."

17. a space for you to say something to your readers. My dreams had been haunting me for awhile until I finally said, "okay, let me just try, I'll just try to and see if this whole writing thing will work for me." Sometimes you have thoughts that you just need to scream out into the world before they consume you and the fact that people are hearing me, and being moved in even the littlest of ways by my stories lifts the pressure off my shoulders just a bit every day. A lot of my stories are anonymous love letters to people in my life, memories I want to preserve and transform into stories people can enjoy, happy and painful, for better or for worse. So to my readers, thank you for enjoying my stories, for hearing me. ❤️

I tag: @cloudteawrites @bangtangalicious @smasmashin @alpacaparkaseok @deepdarkdelights @btsaudge @koosbabygrl and any other writer who wants to share! 💕

[thedinanshiral]

My personal DA4 wishlist + thoughts

I’ve been teasing this post for a couple of weeks over at Twitter, i’m the worst! But anyway, since game journalism has decided to confirm, once again, that the next Dragon Age game will be set in Tevinter like that’s breaking news, now’s as good a time as ever to write all this down.

Locations: Tevinter, clearly. It’s been pretty much a given since the end of Trespasser in 2015, with that scene where the Inquisitor stabs a map on a table directly on Tevinter as they promise to go after Solas to stop him. But also concept art and several stories from Tevinter Nights heavily imply Antiva, Nevarra, the Anderfells, and maybe Rivain. For those of you who don’t know your Thedosian Geography 101, that’s basically Northern Thedas. And it makes sense, since so far for three games straight we’ve been first stuck in Ferelden, then the coast of the Free Marches, and later the rest of Southern Thedas. We’ve never been North, only heard of it. So in DA4 i’m sure we will finally be able to visit.

Characters: If we’re going to Tevinter, we must meet Dorian again, maybe meet Maevaris Tilani as well (previously only seen in comics), judging from the latest comics series, i’m hoping for Fenris too. And going by the latest teaser trailer, we might see Varric again. As for characters that so far we have no news of, i’d like to see Cole, the Iron Bull, and if by any chance BioWare feels like blessing us with a Hawke/Fenris reunion i might just die happy.  I’d also very much like to see the Inquisitor, but more on that later.

Companions: considering concept art and the latest teaser trailer, plus Tevinter Nights stories and new characters, we have an interesting repertoire of new potential companions. A Tevinter mage, an ancient elf (like a temple guardian) or a dalish elf (like Strife), a Nevarran mortalitasi or spirit, Antivan Crows, Lords of Fortune (new faction, kind of like treasure hunters), Qunari lady, maybe an alchemist or shapeshifter, Grey Wardens (possibly a dwarf), a liberated or escaped slave, a Siccari (Tevinter spies/assassins)..even past agents of the Inquisition could return. 

Plot: We know Solas wants to take down the Veil. We know there’s two archdemons left, and Grey Wardens are regaining some spotlight in concept art lately. We might have to fight on multiple fronts simultaneously and be strategic about it. Solas might even unleash a double Blight just to keep us distracted while he focus on his own goal, who knows. But many other things are happenig in the margins and all over the place. The Qunari Antaam is having a crisis with some of its members supposedly going rogue, the order they’re so proud of is breaking up, and the whole of Northern Thedas is facing an imminent threat of invasion. Tevinter is still dealing with remnants of the Venatori and might soon be dealing with a slaves rebellion and/or a political and social reform (Magisters Dorian and Maeveris have been working wirh the Lucerni, a group aiming to restore and redeem Tevinter). The Antivan Crows -the de facto rulers of Antiva - may be dealing with a succession crisis, as their First Talon, a powerful feared and respected but old lady, might not be around for much longer and seems her chosen heir has died before his time. Meanwhile in the Anderfells nobody’s heard anything from the Grey Wardens’ HQ at Weisshaupt since the end of Inquisition, and as told in the novel Last Flight, the sudden reappearance of griffons may have had something to do with that radio silence. So you see, get ready for another +100 hours long game because BW has plenty of stuff to keep us busy with. But in short, DA4 seems will be about primarily searching, finding, and dealing with Solas. Regardless of what you decided at the Exalted Council in Trespasser, the Inquisition or what’s left of it is most likely the group orchestrating that mission. As it was so clearly stated then, they need new people Solas doesn’t know so he can’t foresee their actions, so it’s possible the DA4 protagonist is a new agent or a third party hired to do what the Inner circle can’t due to their familiarity with Solas in the past. But at the same time -and this is assuming we get to find Solas in this game - i definitely think the Inquisitor could easily show up again. No, losing an arm doens’t mean they’ve retired forever, prosthetics do exist in Thedas, a world where you can combine dwarven craftmanship with enchantments, seriously, i don’t ever want to hear “but they lost an arm” ever again as an excuse to write them out. And no, marrying Cullen or joining the Red Jennys is no impediment to join the “Stop Solas” Squad; the end of Trespasser means something, mainly that this is personal. Be it they loved them as lovers, as friends or ended up hating his guts for using and betraying them, the Inquisitor’s relationship with Solas makes this very personal, and so having any other character do that face off would cheapen all of it, all that bittersweet angsty development and expectations of either revenge or closure. That moment should happen between those two. It adds a ton of motivation due to their past historyas well, something a new protagonist would lack entirely.  My personal best hope is for a sort of dual protagonist thing, say we play new protagonist for most of the game but a selected missions or scenes where we play as the Inquisitor once again and take over for key and heart-wrenching dialogue options. My second best hope is for the Inquisitor to show up as playable for the moment we catch up with Solas. My third and final best hope is for the inquisitor to be a sort of advisor but more like new protagonist’s boss/employer to whom they report back to and get new missions from. The Inquisitor can be stuck in meetings for the most part of it, i just want to know they’re there, behind a door, super busy but there. A cameo like Hawke’s in Inquisition is the bare miminum i can take, anyhting less than that like a mention in a sidequest description or a footnote in a codex entry would be a total  injustice. 

Romances: I’m open for pretty much anything, as any good BW fan would be. But i’d like romances to feel more alive in the sense that they don’t abruptly get stuck once you exhaust all related quests and dialogue options. As much as my Adaar liked that spank from the Iron Bull, that it was the only thing they could share after their romance was locked was a bit..meh. I liked Dorian’s tho, because his gave one the option to talk a bit, go for a walk, gossip, and sure, it all happened off-screen, and there were limited possibilities, but it was nice and made their relationship feel a bit more real, like they had more to it than kissing and stuff. It happens in most games, once you secure a romanceable companion suddenly you run out of things to do and share with them, and you get stuck with the same 3 lines of dialogue over and over again. There should be a way of solving that.

Side quests: i’m ok with fetch quests initially as it is a good way of forcing the player to go out and explore huge maps, but i’d also like the fetching to have some meaning other than checking things off a list. I want to explore many ruins, and -can’t believe i’m actually saying this- i want a Fade quest. Wait! I know what you’re thinking but don’t kill me just yet, here’s my idea: what if we could visit the Fade at certain locations to witness memories or meet with spirits and recollect information on Solas, his past, his present? Both to understand him better (keep in mind we’ll most likely get a new protagonist who isn’t familiar with him like we are as players) and try to locate him or predict his next move. It would be i think i great way of having visions of Arlathan in its golden age, maybe seeing some of the other Evanuris, how they interacted with each other and with the elves in their service, what really happened ...i just want that sweet, sweet lore, i need it.

Technical stuff: ok, graphics will be amazing for sure, but i also would really really like: better, more varied and longer hairstyles, PLEASE. Body sliders, it’s damn time we get them. Mounts that actually make a difference! Let staves blades make damage in combat, I’M BEGGING HERE. Combined classes, MAGICAL ROGUES! A homebase we can fix up/build on/redecorate as fully as possible (Skyhold was great and i love it to pieces but why were those walls NEVER repaired????) . More casual outfit options, idk i love to dress up my characters, maybe some transmog? A day/night cycle and please i would love to see Thedas’ second moon, also weather variations depending on the region. Yes, i’m ambitious.

Gameplay: i’d like more AI options for companions, but not quite like in DAO, that was too much and i rarely used it. I’m curious how they’ll do combat this time but i know for sure i don’t want the kind of combat that has me going almost frame by frame pausing at every second, it’s annoying for me. I want large areas like in DAI but with a bit more stuff to see and do although one of my favourite maps is the Hissing Wastes so i won’t complain if we get a literal desert but i’d also like it to have secrets hidden around, make me work to find and solve them, i love exploring, i jump and click on EVERYTHING like i’m still a kid playing Monkey Island. A companion in concept art seems to be holding what looks like some form of rifle, so i’m curious how they’d incorporate that in the game. I know Tevinter has the magics and dwarves have the skill, a firearm is totally within the possibilities in-game without breaking any lore; also super curious what sort of skill trees Crows or Lords of Fortune could have, are they rogues, or warriors, or both??

So far, that’s what i got in my head.Well, most of it anyways, i may have missed something but this post has to end somewhere lol

What’s in your head? Feel free to share! Have you been thinking on how you’ll create your next protagonist? All i can think of is magical rogues and that  glowing bow was all the hype i needed.

[muwur]

haikyuu x otome: masterlist |  prologue

» synopsis:  a haikyuu x reader au where you, the player, are bound for university in a metropolis several hours away from home. hope and excitement are replaced with dread as you come to realize that juggling life as a student and a part-time employee takes a toll. from demanding classes to a ruthless manager, life just can’t seem to give you a break. that is, until you meet a certain someone who reminds you how to live and follow your dreams. somehow, when you’re with them, time stands still. maybe things are finally starting to look up. if only you could stay in those moments for just a little longer. 

» disclaimer: i do not own haikyuu or any of the pixels in this post (i simply made collages out of them)

edit: it’s been brought to my attention that another HQ writer may have written something similar to this idea in the past and I was unaware. Though I haven’t seen this particular type of thing written yet, I don’t mean to claim this event idea as my own bc I feel a lot of events that ppl put up may have some overlapping themes n such (tho this idea would def be more specific and be cause for concern of plagiarism) and bc I would never want to steal ideas/not ask other writers first/not credit other writers (that’s not cool fam). If you have any issues with this event, pls bring them up w me, and if you know any other writers who’ve done smth similar, pls share w me their URLs! thank u for ur understanding :) I hope u can still enjoy haikyuu x otome :’)

» how to play:

I. you can refer here for the general rules of my blog. also, for this event (and it’ll say in the descriptions below), i’m only accepting one character per request. also the word count limits i wrote here may change as im getting started on actually writing requests lol

II. essentially a collection of x reader one-shots, drabbles, and smaus in which you are a busy college student whose only break seems to be spending time with friends who actually get you or the 15-minute lunch break during which you get to ignore annoying customers

III. since this is otome-inspired, i have several options you can choose from. these options are essentially types of requests:

» everyday is a new start 

» drabble about how you meet the character of your choice  

» it is not guaranteed y’all are gonna gel (get along) when you first meet,, warning: if the character is usually a bitch, i may write them as one LMAO jkjk but fr

» usually light, fluffy, and/or silly

» hmm tbh,,, idk word count,,, probs anywhere between 700-1k words (i edited this word count after writing my first thing bc HNNN)

» the only characters you can’t request this for is yamaguchi, tsukki n hinata,,, bc you meet them in the prologue AHAHA sry it’s nothing too spaicy since it’s just in the intro

» it’s all in the little things

» one-shots about normal, daily interactions with the character of your choice

» in other words, these include what can go on in a day in the life of y/n and the character of your choice (after they’ve already met). in the city, the possibilities are endless

» give me a word (or several, cuz writing is hard lmao. also legit any word, like ‘orange’ or ‘nostalgia.’ i may choose only one or do a combination from your list :3) as a prompt and ill somehow make something of it lmao

» medium relationship development + exp

» 700-1.5k words

» hmmm what should i get today?

» very short drabble with a character of your choice about various scenarios and thots i have in my head

» a complete surprise, totally random, may have no context

» may be serious, fluff, crack, etc. 

» if u choose this u basically told me ‘surprise me’

» 100-300 words, depends on my mood

» when i see your name pop up on the screen, i can’t help but smile 

» short smau with a character of your choice 

» fluff or crack, ur choice or leave that up to me (if unspecified, ill just flip a coin)

» you can either give me a word(s) as a guide or leave the topic of convo up to me

» 2-4 panels

» you’d be surprised how much can happen in a day 

» BMO has nothing to do with this, i just found a cute pixel of him

» spaicy relationship development, the scenes in which you actually make progress in the game

» one-shot with a character of your choice

» order from the following:

» macaron: when they realize they’ve fallen for you

» banana bread: when you realize you’ve fallen for them

» iced americano: when they feel a tinge of jealousy 

» hot chocolate: when they see you crying  

» matcha latte: when they have a longing to be around you

» cupcake: love confession (may be intentional or accidental)

» major relationship development + exp + sometimes confusion

» 1-2k words

» these will probs take me longer

» all good things must come to an end

»  not as angsty as those bolded words above sound,,, unless you want it to be >:)

» drabble or one-shot with a character of your choice. the final interaction before finishing the game

» you have three options: good end (fluffy, romantic & the like), bad end (angst), or crack end (surprise)

» word count will be super variable, from 300-1.5k words

IV. this forces me to write one-shots, drabbles, anything but hc’s, and also forces me to limit my word count. that said, this will take me a hot minute, y’all. word counts may change too bc i am,,, indecisive n untalented AHAHA

V. search for ‘haikyuu x otome,’ ‘haikyuu x otome special,’ ‘haikyuu x reader otome’ tags! i will tag each work under these c:

got it? have a request for me? send me an ask or submission! 

request example: ‘start new game with akaashi’ or ‘love challenge with yachi in the empty lecture hall at night’ or ‘continue story with noya. words: tired, mangoes, music’ 

feel free to ask me if ur confused about anything and have questions! thank you so much for reading <3 im excited for this heh

inspired by recent haikyuu otome teasers i keep seeing online and the fact that i dropped my summer class and am taking on personal projects (like painting my room LMAO i gotta manifest my inner buff daddee ushi to move shit in my room bc i kid u not everything is rlly heavy in here. and i also delved back into otomes on my phone,, does anyone else play midnight cinderella or mr love LOL talk 2 me)

haikyuu x otome masterlist

[jaemtens]

check in tag

okay okay i’ll do it! i haven’t done a tag game in ages... i was tagged by @soonhoonsol, @njaems, and @sanshine

1. why did you choose your URL?

because jaemin and ten are two of my favorite nct boys and they had just posted this selfie together :(

2. any side blogs?

i don’t have any active sideblogs, but i have a few URLs saved and i did run @daily-shua for a while

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

my first account is from like 2014, but i’ve had this blog since 2017.

4. do you have a queue tag?

nah, but i’m not here that much so it’s probably my queue. i usually schedule my self reblogs for 1 am / 7 am / 1 pm / 7 pm EDT so they’re not too annoying

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

i was really into bts at the time and i wanted to have a separate kpop blog/account because i ran a few meme blogs on my “main” account. i don’t think i’ve logged into that account for two years now lol

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

out of all of the resonance teasers, it was the least painful as;dfkja;fdsk. plus i love blonde jaem + the outfit they had him in for departure version. i’ve thought about changing it lately, the newest candylab promo images are definitely my vibe.

7. why did you choose your header?

i suck at making headers and i was revamping my blog so i made the gif of markie as a placeholder. now it’s been there for like 8 months a;slfdkja;fdskdf; (i also should update that to the candylab shoot? or choose a black bg jaemin gif)

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

omg i thought it was this ateez gifset from their answer comeback, but renjun with the tiny kitties is actually beating it now!

9. how many mutuals do you have?

i think i’m mutuals with most blogs i follow, so probably 150+

10. how many followers do you have?

~12000

11. how many people do you follow?

225, but that’s probably inflated with a bunch of inactive blogs

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

oh i used to make a bunch of memes lol. a lot of them are embarrassing tho so i’m not going to share them here. i’ll just link this reblog from yesterday instead

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

probably a few hours in the morning and then i’m done for the day~

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

lol i usually try not to get involved with shit, but i definitely did not get along with certain seventeen blogs back in like late 2019. the tumblr fandom felt really cliquey back then. i think it’s much happier and cohesive now, especially since most of those people left for twitter.

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

i don’t reblog them.

16. do you like tag games?

tbh i usually don’t do them unless i’m tagged by like 3+ people, and then i’ll consider it a;slfdkja;fdk

17. do you like ask games?

yeah! i try to do one every few weeks~ i should probably do one soon when i have some more time

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

in seventeen: @jonghan and @soonhoonsol / in ateez: @holy-yeosang @sanshine and @songmingki / idk yet in nct / in tbz: @hwqll and @leesangyeon

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

nah, unless jaem is one of my mutuals lol

20. tags?

i have no idea who’s done this but @jonghan @holy-yeosang @songmingki @leesangyeon @hwiyoungies @ohoshi and @taeminnomuyeppeo