#idk if i should count it as a vent or not

[mushroom-girl89]

I'm f*cking dumb4ss lol

[itslilacokay]

do you ever

[puppyeared]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

[arsenicflame]

its gonna work... haha right guys? right??

[crimewizards]

i dont really know how to explain this, but it's incredibly frustrating to be a he/she pronoun user. every single time i go to a pride event, convention, even my queer-focused doctor, no one ever has she/he pronoun pins/buttons/stickers/etc. it's a little disheartening in a way i can't fully explain - when i went to that doctor, they had separate stickers for she/they and they/she, but none for he/she. the doctor had to clarify that i used both he/him and she/her, as if i'd written it wrong. like. are they too "opposite" to think about including? are they too "different" that no one would use them that way?

it just... i don't know, man. sucks.

[chibishortdeath]

I got a new sketchbook since I filled one recently :3c. Shout out to suddenly getting a ton of energy and drawing bizarre fanart at 1 am 💀💀💀.

I’m putting the more violent ones under a cut even if the post is already tw tagged because of the subject matter being a bit dark d(^^ ).

Along with explanations for all of them of course!

⚠️tw for self harm and burning past this point⚠️

First one (before the cut) is just some pose practice. Simon’s just sitting, all sad and mopey. There’s also a little chibi doodle of him in the bottom corner and a little pose armature in the top corner for a pose I didn’t even end up drawing whoops lol. I feel like I drew his face a little differently than I usually do in this one :O. Idk how that happened lol.

This one is to show the differences in anatomy between each game! The curse takes a lot out of him, poor guy, so he’s a bit less jacked than usual 😔. Well, more specifically he doesn’t have as much of a layer of protective fat anymore. And he’s also very tired :(. But yeah, this is just a reference I’ll look back at to keep this detail consistent! I was going to put scar reference on it too, but I completely forgot and eh it mighta made it kinda hard to make out anyway d(- - ).

I drew this side profile of Simon while watching a video talking about lost media stuff. I think the image I based it on was something Saki Sanobashi related, idk I just liked the vibes of the hair being blown back by wind and got inspired :). And yes I know that Saki is probably a hoax 💀💀💀💀💀, I didn’t have much interest in it tho tbh, besides just hoping something lost gets found in general. Lost media videos are honestly great for putting on as background noise when drawing :)

Simon is totally me when I have a crisis and cover my face with my hands, but make sure one eye is visible and miraculously out of shadow for dramatic effect!!!

Ok spookier stuff time, first of the below the cut drawings. This one is based on how sometimes vampires are depicted as being able to drain someone from long distances or beyond the grave. Dracula is mean, and Simon is suffering from the curse, the usual. Augh I actually need to do things cause I keep thinking of a cool scene of Simon having a weird Dracula nightmare and then waking up to see it wasn’t a dream, and that’s tropey as hell, but it’s spooky!!! Do you see my vision?

This is a depiction of like what happens with a game over or something :O. Like an absolute worst possible outcome: Simon dies and Dracula is unsealed and fully regenerated. I basically just took is Simon’s Quest design and then rehydrated it and tada, Dracula is no longer a skeleton— He ends up looking way more like Vlad the Impaler in this outfit hmmm. Also, unrelated, but a friend of mine mistook Dracula for Jesus in this drawing 💀💀💀.

Oh boy, edgy depictions of uh a lot of not being very kind to yourself themes. Idk how else to describe this one other than ya know when you get really mad at your past self for making a mistake or the wrong decision that you could’ve only known about in hindsight? Also in part the fear of actually becoming a vampire at the end of all of this? And I guess a bit of feeling like it’s your own fault, you’re the one that keeps shooting yourself in the foot, but I feel like he’d also attribute getting hit by Dracula in the first place as his fault too… hmm just a lot of very sad things going on, this one was definitely a later 1 am time drawing, maybe 1:40 or something. I think what I draw at night is further proof to not trust you when you’re tired; I get weirdly existential at night and then it’s totally fine in the morning. Simon! Just sleep! Stop overthinking!!! You’ll be ok!!!

This one I debated putting up at all cause it’s graphic and not finished (TwT ;). But it was a rare drawing of Simon smiling that didn’t look uncanny, which is kinda ironic because Simon this is not the time to be smiling—! That is also wayyy too far for just the Dracula ritual, you really only need a tiny amount to open the seal, but I’ll cut him some slack cause he is a bit at wits end by this point. I’d say maybe he’s smiling because he thinks he finally won, but tbh I thought of it more like when things are just so bad you start laughing. Like Dracula just rose from the altar and the morbid irony of it all is just so absurd, the irony that you did everything right and fought tooth and nail (Dracula’s to be exact lol) to stop it and here it is happening anyway. I wanna give this guy a weighted blanket and a bowl of warm soup—

These last two are based on what could’ve happened to him. The Grey ending is pretty much usually considered the “worst”, but they’re all nearly interchangeable, especially in the Japanese version. For example: the western release really makes the Blue ending seem like he died and didn’t kill Dracula, but it’s a lot more that he just died doing it in the original, which is to say that it’s kinda like the Grey ending just with a different eulogy— Anyway, the Grey ending is the only one that doesn’t show Simon at Dracula’s grave, so I’ve always taken it as he didn’t make it out of the castle basement. And well, setting Dracula on fire is a pretty common way to kill him so uh um, R.I.P. I’ve got a couple ideas for alternate comic endings to say the least. I might honestly just depict all of them and leave it entirely up to the reader which one happened because it doesn’t change much— Though this also has me thinking of how him surviving would work now. The curse would definitely have left some lasting effects, you don’t just magically stop having been rotted, sleep deprived, and whatever else it did. Idk I picture him being like Renfield levels of lost it afterwards if that makes sense… that could also be a pretty solid explanation for why his story isn’t told correctly and the cycle repeats with Maxim later; it’d be a pretty traumatic thing to talk about tbh. Ok but yappersvile over, next doodle 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

Aside from the burnt doodle that’s uh same explanation as the above (R.I.P.), the other two are just a little head angle and expression practice and one tiny one towards the top that’s Dracula being all spooky ghost vampire, but I didn’t like how it was looking and gave up on it 💀💀💀. It’s very hard to draw a vampire attacking someone and not have it look kinda awkward or unreadable. Tbh I struggle putting two characters in one image anyway because I have to draw the anatomy lines for both of them and they end up getting really hard to tell apart when one is behind another, one character suddenly isn’t proportional compared to the other, or you find out one of them isn’t tall enough for the pose you had in mind (>~< ). So anyway Dracula was accidentally way too short all of a sudden and I couldn’t figure out how to draw his torso without making a completely incomprehensible blob behind Simon oof.

Okie, it’s lunch time, bye :3!

[sophiasharp]

The experience of a new hyperfixation being a band

Cons:

No overarching story or characters to chew on, just real people with real lives

Listening to songs over and over and over till I get every drop of dopamine out of them I can and being paranoid on when it’s gonna run dry

The urge to lie in bed listening to music and do absolutely fuck all else

The fact of them being real people makes embarrassment over hyperfixation go up by 200%

Trying to satiate the want for more content requires social media (don’t have shit other than tumblr and not about to get instagram just to follow some theater kids)

Even finding the scraps of social media reposts I can on what platforms I DO have makes me feel slimy, like I’m becoming the worst type of fan

Just the barest acknowledgment that any member is attractive awakens some latent puritanical instinct who shouts “EW YOU’RE ATTRACTED TO A REAL HUMAN PERSON? CRINGE” at me and it’s really annoying.

Despite being a band of basically fully grown theater kids (theater men?), they are all either heterosexual, spoken for, or both, and all interactions are so completely platonic that there is no reason to ship any of them.

Pros:

There. There’s no reason to ship. Any of them.

Oh my god. I don’t feel the urge to ship any of them.

It’s all platonic. Completely. Platonic.

I don’t have to worry about shipping wars. Or if one ship is considered problematic or not. I just simply don’t care.

I’m free.

I’m fucking FREE!

I’M GONNA COME UP WITH AN AU SO UTTERLY DIVORCED FROM THE SOURCE MATERIAL IT’LL BE LIKE CALLING 50 SHADES OF GREY A SPIN-OFF OF DRACULA!

AND I’M GONNA MAKE EVERYTHING RATED MATURE AT WORSE WITH ZERO ROMANCE INVOLVED! ALL FRIENDSHIP ALL THE TIME!

AND NOBODY CAN FUCKING STOP ME!!!

Oh yeah their harmonies are really good too. I mean have you heard their cover of Nothing Else Matters? Who let them do that? Cruel and unusual use of talent

[morphestic]

I miss marching in front hundreds of people, you may be tired and your arms are killing you and your heart is beating out of it's chest from the adrenaline rush but it's okay because at the end, that whole audience is cheering and roaring for you and it's worth it. I miss sitting in front of an audience and performing during concert season, being a nervous wreck as your solo comes up but letting your fingers and mind do their thing and trusting that your efforts will show. I miss music.

[nyuheartbreak]

having social anxiety SUCKS!!!!!! I WANT TO INTERACT WITH PEOPLE WHO ENJOY THE SAME THINGS I DO!! BUT I END UP QUIVERING AND SHAKING LIKE A LITTLE WET CAT!!!! im just a wittle guy.... im only one apple tall.... the struggle is very much real

[cringelordofchaos]

ok, uhh, im heavily self projecting here - but -

(tw discussion of processing trauma. nothing specific.)

i want to see craig experience something so unbelievably traumatic, so devastating and absolutely horrifying, that instead of breaking down, or screaming, or crying, his emotions just... shut off. suddenly hes completely monotone, but so much more than so. this happened to me once. i usually overreact and tend to be emotional, but during... an incident (i dont feel comfortable sharing online), i just... my brain just made me not feel a thing. i began to be extremely rational and it was like my emotions switch was flipped. logically, i knew how absolutely horrible the situation was, but it was as if my brain knew i couldnt handle it, so it just tried to protect me that way. i want to see that happen to craig cuz i feel like it fits him... idk...

[saveugoodmadam]

the desire to get better at art and make friends in my fandom vs my overwhelming impostor syndrome: fight!

[scoliosisgoblin]

gyat damn it dude, I joking called my friend's drawing Peter (cause he had a round head) and bro said he was gonna play me a video going over the allegations of Fuboo and her fucked up husband????

[heartxdecay]

the weird part about being suicidal when you have ASPD is that it's just such a logical thing. People talk about attempting impulsively or because of intense emotions and I'm just like... "oh, I should just kill myself. It'll solve my problems and it's not like I'm contributing anything to society anyway."

[tbhimnoteasyonmyself]

.

[astralcurses]

girl help if i could stop actively seeking out content that triggers me thatd be great

[mysunshine-youremoonlight]

sometimes i look at things i write and i go "huh. my mental illness is showing"