#idk if i missed something i've only been here for a couple months

[alternautxyz]

i swear lmk distribution is cursed because for a good while it was barely accessible in places other than china. i get the show was made for china but it’s ironic the english version the show is originally recorded for is less accessible. then it starts dropping on the most random streaming services ever that no one owns out of nowhere which is the only legal way to find it. one of them was an old elsagate channel of all things, which dropped the entirety of season 4 with no warning. the english version of season 4 was still airing at the time. then happykids say they’re going to drop the specials in a week but proceed to only post the final episode of the special after like an hour. only one episode. out of 4. a week before they were supposed to. the exact day they announced it.

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/768686563949428736/honestly-i-do-kinda-think-the-discussion-around?source=share

idk, I think the "what's the alternative" argument still misses the point somewhat though.

for me, the point of "my body my choice" is literally just that - forcing a pregnancy on someone that they don't want (or forcing them to abort one they do want, for that matter) is SUCH a massive violation of bodily autonomy that the "reasons" for doing that don't matter. pregnancy fundamentally changes your body and affects everything about your health for 9 months. pregnancies that go wrong can threaten the life of the pregnant person AND their baby. that shouldn't be something people have to go through if they on board with it, period. for the same reasons you can't be forced to donate any part of your body if you aren't okay with doing that, even if you could do fine without it and the other person would die.

that's why as a disabled person myself i have no patience for the people who cry about "disability abortions" or compare it to eugenics. because sorry but people with ableist beliefs still deserve bodily autonomy, and it's just as much of a violation of their autonomy - and therefore their most basic human rights - to force them to go through with a pregnancy because their reasons make YOU, a person who is not going through that pregnancy, feel troubled. as i've seen posts on here say, you can't "perform eugenics on your own uterus." you are not obligated to give birth to any person you don't want to, and that is fundamentally different than a government or society killing people for who they are. same with people who want to abort because of the baby's sex. same with people who want to abort because, idk, they were given an expected date in the first week of january and they don't want their baby to be a capricorn. (i know this sounds like a joke but i have friends who are a hippie lesbian couple who announced the birth of their son with "it's a [his expected astrological sign]!" which was really funny because he was born a couple weeks early and then turned out to be the previous sign. so, people who take astrology way too seriously DO have babies)

i think that unfortunately and especially for a lot of people with conservative upbringings, a lot of people tend to see a hypothetical fetus with some identity in common with them and project themselves into that situation. the "what if i had been aborted?" thing but somewhat less self-aware about it. some feminist writing in the 80s talked about men doing this with aborted fetuses, seeing themselves as a male fetus being "killed" by a woman, but i think it's clear some women do it too when they share a (potential) identity category with a fetus. and i think the bigger issue here is that it erases the pregnant person. even the argument anon is making here, which again they're right about, still focuses on the outcomes for the baby rather than the person carrying them. and i think you "get" pro-choice politics better when you make a point of centering the person who is pregnant, and resisting any framing that (consciously or not) frames them as just a place where the baby grows. for instance, as a disabled person, my disability comes with a low pain tolerance that is a big part of why i never want to be pregnant. there are a lot of disabled people where that disability interacts negatively with their pregnancy in some way, and disabled pregnant people are usually among the first whose rights anti-choice people try to take away, whether it's their right to choose an abortion, or right to procreate in the first place, or right to raise the child they give birth to. i just really cannot take your disability rights advocacy very seriously when "disability + abortion" for you is only ever about the fetus and never about the pregnant person! (or also, when people fearmonger about autism screening for abortion. both because a lot of those people seem to think that's currently happening when it's not, but also everything we know about autism so far suggests it's extremely unlikely to be something we can ever detect with precision in utero. starting with that it's probably not caused by purely by genetic factors in the first place, and also that it's likely not just one specific thing caused by one gene. they're able to screen for down syndrome because it involves an extra chromosome, which is extremely easy to detect. also, sidenote, before people go into shaming people who abort fetuses with trisomy 21, keep in mind that there's a lot more to down syndrome than intellectual disability, including most people who have it having life-threatening heart problems that tend to keep them in the hospital for the first several months or even years of life. there are a lot of reasons people don't want their children to go through that, especially people without consistent access to health care, that is not just "ableism" toward the intellectually disabled.) geezus, this got long. sorry about that. i guess i just had a lot of thoughts about it, hope they were enlightening enough to anyone reading along to be worth the verbosity! but they were a lot of what convinced me when i used to be one of those people who was uncomfortable with "disability abortions"

--

Well said.

I think it's important that we let ourselves have our emotions about other people's choices without thinking they're a basis for policy. What if my child needs my kidney? Should I be legally obligated to donate? People will think I'm an asshole if I don't, but should I be obligated to?

[mapicccc]

Hi! I know I just sent you an ask a few hours ago but uhm. There's something on my mind.

So I've only been into lifesteal for like. 3 weeks? Maybe a bit more or less. Point being is that I don't know anything about the SMPs history other than the couple of videos I watch & what people live blog about season 6 LMAO. Anyway not important I'm just rambling LMAO sorry I get rambly in these.

ANYWAYS. My question is: When did Devotion Duo start? From what I gather it seems it was around season 4? but idk if that's right. All I know is that they'd had to have been together for a while for their relationship to be where it is now.

I just thought I'd asks since their dynamic seems to be fun & all the analytic posts I find about them seem very interesting (also all the art bangs. not a single miss that I've seen so far). So I'm interested in the very start of it and how it was.

Thought I'd ask you since you seem like the Devotion Expert around these parts /silly.

technicallyyyyy they go all the way to s2 when zam was added and have teamed at least partially Every Season since then, but due to s2 vods missing + a lot of current fandom members (including me) getting in during s4 + Their Arc happening then, s4 is veryyy popular with them.

short version, I have a list of vods going over one arc that revolves around them here

what i mean by Their Arc:

a small break down of s4 with them, zam first got back on ls about a month late so everyone else was already in teams, he kinda just gravitated towards mapicc and ro (teammate awesome) before officially joining them (vod here, around 3:38. zam works in a lot of their plans, he was a part of the prison (a short event where TA locked players in and offered a reward to get them out), medusa (lead by roshambo and helped by mapicc & zam, he worked to turn spawn building into obituary and covered his tracks by trying to seem like they were the ones searching for the culprit), and most notably, dupe war. dupe war was a project by spoke invloslving mass during of items and gear, claiming to use it to defeat another team (APO, not crazy important here) (in reality it was involved with wormhole stuff but fell through). as lot of dupe war wasn't streamed so we don't know exactly zams thought process through it all, but at the end of the war when all exploits were meant to be destroyed, mapicc revealed he and spoke hid away some stashes. zam was acting like this was fine while they were there but spent a Considerable amount of time after they had left debating taking these dupe stashes, ultimately deciding they would be best in his hands.

this was the catalyst for castle arc, an arc revolving around devotions and affecting them Heavily.

mapicc saw it as a betrayal, and did not take kindly. when they had their team awesome meeting (commonly referred to as Home sweet home, hsh for short) to confront zam, numerous times mapicc mentions wishing he could go with what zam said but no longer trusting him. I Highly recommend watching this vod if not any others, it is the single vod is have watched the most. I also have a transcript of it here (don't mind the typos, I still haven't gotten around to editing it)

and All of that is just lead up to castle arc, where mapicc hunts zam down again and again and again. while not part of castle arc, over the course of almost the whole season mapicc finds 4(mightve been 5?) of zams bases, it's a scene of hatred and carnage and violence.

and yet.

they still end the season together.

mapicc still choses zam over anyone else, over ro who had been by his side the entire time, over spoke who gave him power, he wanted to end the server with zam as the chaos of wormhole was concluding.

they really are a despite everything situation. anyone else would have refused to work together after what they had been through, but that wasn't even the first time they fought together after the betrayal. they have this constant yearning to be by each other's sides, whether that be for or against.

a very important quote for them, the source of their name, "and all of my devotion turns violent"

soooo that's s4!!!!!!!!!!! I'm gonna be honest I don't know s5 devotions that well (would recommend asking @derww about them if you want to know more) as for s6 there's just. so many small things. mapicc wanting zam to come back to fighting after refusing for so long, being so excited when he agrees. early empire streams he was wishing he was teaming with zam again. zam Constantly bringing up mapicc yesterday when thinking about teaming with derap. like he did Not need to do that. it's so amazing the way their devotion has evolved.

I've had issues in the past with links not embedding so also putting them down here in order just in case

[fromdarzaitoleeza]

Ahh it's the last day of 2023 already?

I am expecting a call from a friend although the possibility of this happening is very slim it always felt nice to hear the voice of an old friend ( I'm not a text person I've realised this over time but I am stuck to be a text person) .

I can't wait for spring to come in 2024 , spring provides an intense amount of healing to my soul.

The next four months are very crucial in my life if they go well I can survive the rest of the year, I have died a couple of times this year and I am amazed that I am alive i didn't honestly thought i would make it to the end of this year ( especially in the last 3 months , I badly needed help but i didn't wanted others to pity me so i spoke to none about it ) anyways I don't want to talk about it , i don't want to make it sound blue than it already is,a i am really sorry about the fact all my posts are blue I sincerely wish it wasn't that way( altho i haven't posted anything here with as much as devotion I use to do , partly cuz i created an Instagram acc but that's not all reason I ve been sad nonetheless) and sorry for all the "anon/asks" that i haven't answered

I have made no achievements this year and there is little to no progress towards my self love or self growth, but I think that's okay I can do it in the upcoming year, time flies so quick i can't believe Its been so many years since I was 16 I miss being 16 honestly I had more in me back then than i have now , i have lost of confidence my vision and my smile over the years it's as if I am very different person now , i certainly wish I wasn't this way i really thought i would be so much more and better in my early 20s but it is what it is , acceptance is haredest of all emotions in my opinion , you know things are harder to accept when you know you could have done better .

Just like in the last 2 years even this year I didn't make any real life friends with whom I can hang out with i think it's partly due to the fact some people are destined to be alone and I am afraid to admit I am one of them , I did make 2 online friends this year .

I don't want to share any life lessons i learnt this year but if there is something i would love to share is choose yourself one more time each time you feel it's the last time you are doing it , choose one more time to live,one more time to hope, one more time to have faith , one more time to start again [ the fact I am the one telling you this is rediciculosly funny ] .

Unlike most people i don't have a lot of goals for the new year I just got things i want to avoid ( idk if that's the same thing?) Avoid my leftover heart's heartbreak, avoiding what takes away my peace, avoiding what can cause me discomfort, avoiding things that make me question myself ( in any negative way) ,i think that's a little too much but that's it .

As I was writing this Google photos sent me a notification saying " 3 years back today with a photo of mine " and it broke my heart a little, now I am questioning myself how did i let so much happen to me , I wish I treated certain things as the last time instead of always stupidly believing in future ( my worse trait yes).

There is a lot to say as always, i wonder if I open my mouth i would never stop sharing things that go inside my mind , but i also know there is no use of it if i can't find people who can understand it , maybe that's how I end up ranting here .

Not to mention I love people who are patient, i believe in the near future i would only like to talk with people who could be patient with me and with my silence . I believe everyone deserves people who can be patient with them .

Nothing really matters in the end but at the same time everything you do matters ❤️‍🩹

[austinslounge]

I've been wrong about everything else, so I probably am wrong about my theory but here we go:

So I believe Austin broke up with her in late August. Right after the Canada trip. I think he was trying to make it through the summer and my guess was he didn't want to ruin a trip that was already planned.

But him missing her birthday wasn't that weird. For me it was all her family and friends rallying around her that seemed kinda sus. Like they were trying to make her feel better. Not to say her family wouldn't be there for her birthday but something seemed off. Like she was upset. She could've easily spent her birthday in NY with Austin if that's what she wanted. He wasn't filming yet and it's not like she isn't rich. But that ties into my suspicions that he broke up with her. So it wasn't an option.

Something was off with her at TIFF. I don't know if it was nerves or she was on something. But her need to hang onto Corey was weird. Deumoxi was at the afterparty and said Kaia was being protected that night. Like she was upset and her friends were rallying around her. Again, something that often happens when a break up occurs.

Then out of the blue comes these two L&S articles. Speculating about them having problems and Austin essentially wanting to end things. He's outgrown the relationship. Very similar to the article his team had put out there in May about them not having anything in common.

They hadn't been seen together in over a month. Kaia was in NY a few times but wasn't with Austin at any point. She was with Marcello. She was all over him. Two different occasions, she was with Marcello. She was acting like a single woman.

Then more articles come out speculating their relationship status. I'm sorry where there is smoke there is fire.

Austin had been busy working. Minding his business. Then he was needed for a pap walk to keep the break up rumors at bay. I think he'd be fine with the news coming out. but at the same time he's filming, so he doesn't need the stress of the break up coming out. Kaia did a lot of damage to her image and how people viewed her relationship with Austin the last few weeks.

Also the fact that nothing has changed in their demeanor either. If they had shown up together after a month and break up rumors soaring, looking happy and in love maybe people would buy it. But Austin is so done. He's just doing what he has to do to break away.

Just from what I've seen in past celebrity break ups. Often they've split before speculation even begins. But will go along with whatever plan their PR teams put in place. Austin and Kaia wouldn't be the first couple to be broken up and still have to act like they are together to keep up appearances.

Just a theory. Again where there is smoke there is fire. Saturday was way too much of a coincidence.

You know what girl? This is a good theory. You're not the only one who's had this theory. It does kind of make sense.

Also, the weight loss thing is very important to note as well. I don't think it's from the stress with Presley either, because he looks fine now, and I've heard that he's even been going to rehab.

We first noticed that Kaia was losing weight around July. It's now October, and she still looks frail. It's the thinnest she's ever been since dating Austin.

Idk about others, but I lost a ton of weight when going through a major relationship heartache and heartbreak.

Not to mention, they still look miserable with each other.

These things by themselves might not say much, but when you put all of these little things together, they do seem to paint a certain picture.

The fact that their teams haven't really said anything is very interesting.

Also, like you said, most celebrities have already broken up long before the official announcement comes out.

Many times, people can even just look at a couple and tell when it's on its last legs. I agree with you, where there's smoke, there's fire.

I'm just going to eat my popcorn like the rest of you all, and will see what happens btwn now and the end of this year.

All I know is, I don't think I can take another Gerber Family Holiday Trip in Cabo at the end of this year again. 😩

[decarabiandivorce]

Am i the asshole for staying behind on an uncharted planet

I (23M) have been a new hire at this shipping company for around three months and it has been absolutely horrible. The company has us work outrageous hours and there is only one other employee. A month ago that employee (my mentor) went on a vacation and ever since then the president had me switch over from simply organizing packages to making full deliveries. On my first trip, I was attacked by a group of space bunnies and the company was sent into debt because of it. They told me the route was safe and secure, however, it was clearly not the case. The important cargo was destroyed and the remaining debt is now more than a hundred years' worth of salary. The company is going under and the president is even accusing ME of doing something. I have no clue what he is talking about and am very frightened by the experience.

Now then my mentor (38?M idk) comes back and talks about how he was hit by a meteor and crashed. It took him a whole month to recover his parts and just barely made it back. Before he could even see his family the company's appraisal AI scanned a memento he yoinked from the crash site and now the president thinks its a great idea to send two deliverymen to search for treasures to sell. Why do we even have an appraisal AI I don't even know. So now me and this captain i've know for about two months is being sent towards an uncharted planet.

Then we crash. There was a blizzard and I am sent flying into the snow. I am tired, hungry, and lay down on the ground as I contemplate my life. A long story short we reconvened and it turns out this planet is FULL of hostile life! Creatures as tall as me just waiting to eat us. Holy fuck. My mentor is taking this as a normal occurrence???? He spent a month on this planet??? The hell????

So after fighting off creature after creature-some as tall as space pups while others as tall as buildings, we somehow get enough pokos to pay back the COMPANY'S DEBT. We weren't even paid overtime and I think my mentor GOT A PROMOTION? We barely had enough supplies for one person so I started taking back some of the local creatures to eat. (DM me if you want some of my recipes!) . We wake up as soon as dawn breaks and this planet's day and night system are so unlike my own planet. By the time it's 10 PM its Nighttime! Dawn is around 6 AM!

My mentor has been relatively nice. He gets my silence and for that, I am grateful he doesn't have me talk a lot. Cons: He forgets about me really easily. Usually, he has me just follow him while we explore and at some points, I feel as if I could have just stayed at the ship and slept and would accomplish the same amount of work. It is aggravating to be woken up so early and told to just follow him around.

After another long expedition I am about 10 seconds away from passing out our ship's appraisal AI (who has been so snippy with both of us) blares out that we should return home now. The thing is, after so long of being on this planet I realized that I prefer this planet more than slaving away at that delivery service. The same service that would send me straight first toward a hive of space rabbits for my very first mission. So I lagged behind a bit.

In my lagging behind, my mentor starts up the ship and leaves. At first, I am shocked. He actually did that. Holy fuck he left me on this planet. Sure our suits were upgrades to filter out the oxygen just before we left and I could last for months if not years....it was still shocking to me. I could not help but watch the sky as he blasted away. Maybe this was a blessing in disguise!

I walked for a long time, resting in safe areas to conserve my stamina and eating the creatures I knew were edible. There was a lot of experimentation here and there and I missed the spices of back home. I just knew that a certain creature would taste way better if I added in a couple more condiments! (Remember! DM me for my recipes!)

While exploring one of the caves, a giant spiderlike foe kidnapped me and placed me on it's head. It was so cute! Like riding a weird dog.

It was nice being with the big spider. It gathered some ancient technologies that were perfect for my survival. None of the other creatures seemed to bother the two of us and it was nice to know that there was someone else on this planet that understood us. Still, I was tired and after what felt like days, my suit's forced sleep mode kicked in. I have no clue what happened afterward nor how many days I was asleep but the next thing I knew was that my mentor was right in front of me making sure I was okay.

He says that he came back for me with the help of our boss, but I could see the poko in the president's eyes as the ship went over finances with him.

They killed the spider to 'save' me. The spider went on full attack while I was asleep on it and the appraisal AI thinks I was in control of it despite being unconscious. At least the captain think's I didn't do it...

They then told me that there was no third seat on the ship and that I will be sleeping in the cargo hold until they got every single treasure on this planet. I am pretty sure that's a space OSHA violation but at this point, I have been in so many life-threatening dangers that I gave up counting. At least they don't expect me to help out because I am 'recovering'. They are content to let me stay by the ship and I have been using this time to perfect my recipes with the supplies they got from back home.

[batsplat]

I want to know which current F1 drivers meet your ‘worthy of interest’ standard? Because I honestly find most of them pretty boring.

well, a dead giveaway for me mostly agreeing with your assessment is that I don't really post about f1 on here. which, okay, admittedly there's a lot of things I don't post about on here, like tennis for instance.... but y'know. there's more of a motorsports tumblr crossover, whereas nobody's following me for my tennis takes and the tumblr community isn't really my scene. with f1, I do actually follow it a lot through tumblr... and. I mean, I have plenty of opinions and all that, I enjoy engaging with it, but I'm not posting long psychological deep dives on here for a reason. I kinda follow f1 differently because it's a sport I got into with my flatmate, who I watch the races with whenever we can. and relatively speaking, our conversations about the sport are like... more focused on the team side of things in addition to the drivers, driver market gossip and news stories and all of that, just having fun with the controversy of the week etc (or every few months it's me sending her very long messages about how I think an x men f1 au would work, which she very generously puts up with despite only having a passing familiarity with the x men franchise)

that being said! ofc it can be fun to root for and against some guys in a more casual way! and I've definitely developed and refined my preferences for drivers in the last couple of years... the ones I primarily root for are george, lewis, alex and esteban. george has that like... idk, exceedingly obvious hunger to him that I really appreciate in athletes - I can tell every single second just how badly he needs this... how he does want to be loved and sometimes thinks too hard about how to achieve it... but when it comes down to it, he will ALWAYS choose winning. very compelling!! I love how even in his current situation where he knows a lot of lewis fans despise him... he still can't entirely help himself, he's still going to push it. because he just can't function any other way - he's not the type who can really be bullied into submission, which slaps. also he's clearly quite thoughtful, somebody who thinks a lot about his craft and is really committed to constantly working on himself. again, it's all about the hunger, that sense that he'll pounce every time given half a chance. that edge of neuroticism paired with the constant accusations of inauthenticity... plus, idk, there's a real air of uncertainty surrounding whether he'll ever be able to fulfil his potential, and I am a sucker rooting for someone who brings out my natural pessimism. but the thing is, he does have that dawg in him - if he ends up not making it, won't be because of his mentality

lewis in all honesty I missed so much of his career that it's always going to be a different type of investment for me... idk I've just never been the type of fan who can care if someone finishes p6 or p8 if they've won eighty million races. I have the same thing with marc too, had it with valentino back in the day, like I'm sorry but you've won so much it's just very... okay wake me up when you're fighting for something real. obviously I do enjoy all the narratives he's picked up over time, the nico stuff in particular is a lot of fun... I like his steel and grit and the way he's defied the odds to become one of the greatest to ever do it, and again the hunger he's got about him... got some real affection for how he's also kinda paranoid, moody, pessimistic, irascible, enough of an edge to him to be just a touch nasty. not a stranger to mind games himself, of course. and he's an excellent pr merchant!! such a carefully constructed persona, idk, makes him more compelling somehow. I enjoy whenever there's been a hint of tension in that particular teammate relationship, shame merc never had a good enough car for it to get worse. here's hoping he's not too washed to crash out leclerc next year or something fun like that

alex,, yeah, obvious underdog charm. bit of an odd route into f1 and has of course had to fight pretty hard to get back into the series at all. he's got a good dry sense of humour as well as quite a whiny streak that makes him more interesting, plus I like his friendship with george, (my general bar for caring about athlete relationships is 'do I think corporate is pushing this on me', which is true of a lot of these f1 'friendships' but not this one.) he's just quite easy to root for idk, my bar for rooting for athletes is way lower if you're not winning everything. like it's only if you're at that top tier that I need you to be an absolute dickhead for you to sustain my interest. and then with esteban, again, underdog appeal partly just because of how rough a road he had into f1,, not just another rich kid... also how many other drivers he's pissed off. pairing the on-track terrorism with a really sweet smile off it, which is always such a fun combination imo. AND too many people hate him, which makes me naturally root for him more

so yeah, y'know, I have thought about them a fair bit and talked about them with my flatmate and all that, but it's all relative in terms of the amount of time and interest I've invested in them. mostly I just bully them all a lot in messages that will remain unavailable for public consumption

[astronomic727]

Ngl I've been feeling a bit burnt out for a while, so I figured this may be a good time for me to start periodically posting old stuff from my Instagram and Twitter accounts that I've moved on from. There will of course be new drawings/posts in between too! Just gotta recharge is all. I guess for a bit of insight, and also story time I suppose, for the past few months I've been having driving lessons and I had my test a few days ago. Thankfully, I managed to pass but I think the stress of the journey coupled with pushing two videos out a week apart, and everything else that had happened in those months took some sort of toll on me overtime. So yeah, not taking a break or anything per say, just will be posting old stuff more often so it's all archived somewhere, and to take pressure off feeling the need to upload something here and there. With these old doodle dumps I'm also probably gonna give some insight into how I feel about them from an artistic standpoint. I may have not much to say, or I may have a lot, who knows lol. Anyway to begin with the stuff in this post, it's all fairly recent. Some were Insta posts, others were Insta stories. We have Via messing with a cranky Kayleigh, the sister's parents when they were young adults (Evelyn is dirty from working on her motorbike, and Vance is working towards his degree in Astronomy), sleepy Via helping Kayleigh get ready for school, young Via and Orion, and the duo again but in 2 memes lol For how I feel about these, it's complicated... this technically goes for like most doodles I've done up to now too, but I'm not fully satisfied. I'm happy with my full illustrations, but I feel as though my doodles miss the mark. It's like a weird perfectionist mental block or something, these are only meant to be sketches but it takes me forever to do them for some reason, and also (what is probably the reason why it takes so long) that along the way my sketch lines somehow turn into lines of line art quality. But I feel this over cleanliness sucks the soul out of my doodles and makes them feel flat. More recently to combat this, I've tried to give slight shading to these doodles whether it be cel or gradient shaded, like the Fortnite or Streetview meme posts I did, but I feel like I need to embrace sketchiness more, for both time saving sake and for appeal. Maybe I also need to do some experimenting with new brushes too, idk. Maybe I'm being overdramatic lol but that's just how I've felt for a long time, and just felt like getting it off my chest. Anyhoo, enough rambling... boy, you thought I had a lot to say here? Just wait till we get to the older stuff lmao, but anyway, I'll ponder on these thoughts, but see you all until then :)

[sleepis4theweak]

Hiya! I’m kind of a small creator on here and trying to get my rottmnt fic an audience but no matter what I do as promo material (art, skits, rambles) nothing ever works to get more than like 2 notes max. I’m confident in my story’s quality so I’m fairly sure that’s not the issue. I was wondering if you have any advice or anything like that? Your stuff is lovely and get a lot of community engagement so I’m curious if there was anything you actively did that helped you grow! I hope this doesn’t come off as rude or desperate, I just wanted to know if I was missing something since I’m pretty new to Tumblr. Enjoy your day ^^

Don't worry! You don't come off as rude or desperate at all!! <3

But tbh... you are asking the wrong person here...

I'm going into marketing, and I spent a full school year in high school doing an independent study on social media algorithms. So I know a LOT about how to grow social media followings- specifically instagram accounts.

But I never actually studied tumblr. I used to use instagram as a platform, but knowing how the algorithm worked was too stressful for me... I'd post stuff and be like "the algorithm won't like this because blah blah blah." Eventually I was drawing for the algorithm and not for me, and so I quit because it just wasn't fun anymore...

Which is why I have very specifically not studied Tumblr's algorithm, because I don't want it to turn into the same situation as with instagram. So I don't know a ton about how to grow a following... and also I've only been on tumblr for 5 months...

THAT BEING SAID: I can walk you through my tumblr and how it's grown!

My very first post was of a meme redraw with the 2012 turtles. I think it got around 1,600 likes?

I posted a couple more things, with varying amounts of likes and such. My first comic (which I never actually completed past the first part) got a total of 7 likes within the first months of posting it. Only when I got more followers did the like amount change.

When I posted my first chapter of the Flashbacks AU, I had 33 or so followers. I think I got to like... 300 followers from that first chapter alone. From there it was just... a steady growth of followers I guess. And with followers comes more reblogs, and with more reblogs comes more followers.

I have around 1,600 followers now. Not everyone is gonna like my posts, I think I get around 20 for responded asks and 100-300 for random pieces of art. Comics get closers to 600 or so. It depends on the content.

I think there are a couple of universal things that help grow an account:

1- Making sure your content is reaching the right people. Put the right tags in. Go crazy with them in fact. If I'm posting a piece with Rise Mikey in it, Im gonna tag: Mikey, Mikey tmnt, Mikey 2018, ROTTMNT, Rise Mikey, etc etc. On instagram they are currently trying to get people to limit their use of tags, but I don't think the same thing applies here. Even tho tags don't help as much here, they are still a good tool!

2- Consistency. Idk how it works on this platform, but consistency is generally a good thing! With instagram theres an actual method to it (1 post a day= good, but the more posts you do a day the less people it shows it to), it might be worth it to look up if tumblr has something similar.

3- Have fun with it! I know this is kinda lame to say... but don't change your content for views. Just... do what you like and eventually your target audience will find you :)

4- Engage with what audience you do have! It's fun to bond with people online, and it helps that "community engagement" piece you talked about!

5-... stalk people hehe. (By which I mean: Look at what other artists post! What tags do they use, do they reblog their own posts a lot, etc etc. Also look at artists with similar followings to your own. For example, studying Cass might not be very helpful, because Cass has a large amount of followers and I'm convinced they could post a picture of a blank canvas and still get 1,000 likes hehe... BUT- I mean you could scroll down to Cass' (or other artist's) first posts and see what they were doing then! Just... observe others I suppose!)

Id love to tell you likes don’t matter, that what matters is having fun and loving what you are drawing. But also I do know how it feels to post something you are really proud of and then have no one like it- it sucks.

But just keep on going :) You'll find your people eventually I'm sure.

OH ALSO: IF ANYONE ELSE HAS ANY TIPS FEEL FREE TO REBLOG AND ADD STUFF IN!!! <3

[bots-and-cons]

Hi, I'm sick

This is just me venting a bit, but I'll put the important stuff here so you don't have to read the whole thing if you don't feel like it. I'm sick, pretty tired and don't have much motivation for anything, so Idk if I'm gonna post much this week.

I've been sick for like 4 days now and I'm so annoyed, because I don't have the motivation to do anything. I want to write and do school work, but I'm feeling like crap so I haven't done anything for a couple of days now. Or at least I haven't done things I want to do. I've been doing laundry, washing the dishes and making food. When I made the big pot of soup on Sunday, it took me probably a couple of hours because I was in a lot of pain. Idk why though, like sure you can get some joint pain when you have the flu but holy shit I was having a hard time moving the whole day. Peeling potatoes and carrots and stuff was a really bad time.

I really hope I'll get better by the weekend, because I need to go to the school next Monday and Tuesday. I have to be there, because we have group presentations and I already missed the last two school days because of the train worker strike. I only have school 4 days a month, and the rest I have to do on my own. We get assignments and stuff for between the lectures, and a ton of reading that we have to do. I've enjoyed it so far and it's really nice to be doing something again.

When I heard that I wouldn't be able to go to the school when the train worker's strike was happening, I didn't take it very well to say the least. I don't deal well with change, I had a panic attack and cried for over an hour, because I absolutely hate it when my plans change suddenly. My mom was suggesting alternative ways to get to the school, but I couldn't handle it at the time, so I just went to sleep. I was semi-okay the next day and I attended the lectures online since it was an option for two of the four lectures. Then of course I got a call from the social worker I've been in contact with about some additional benefits. She told me that I should go on a sick-pay of sorts and slow down my studies. The thing is, if I wanted to go on that particular sick-pay I'd only be allowed to get 12 credits in the time I need 33, so I really can't do that. I couldn't explain that to her on the phone because I was so stressed already, I just started crying and she just kept telling me to slow down my studies.

I thinks it's pretty fucking stupid to tell me that, since I'm doing well enough so I can study more. Plus, I need the 33 credits since I want to get into the degree program for the fall. It just pissed me off and added to an already stressful situation.

I would not deal with social services if I didn't have to. I'm just not in good enough place that I'd be able to work and study at the same time so I have to live on benefits for now. I hate it, but I also know my limits and I know it wouldn't end well for me if I started working too.

I've had a pretty stressful couple of weeks and now I'm sick, so the stress if probably catching up with me. Thanks if you read this, and I wish you a good rest of the week, and remember to drink water :D

[forthelovelovelove]

Songs 10/28/2023

Is it good to post? To etherize. To become myself for a lovely pixel mystery front end i know so little about. Before my computer gets completely full of crumb dust I wanna blog some songs that I liked this month, I'll be a writer.

PAL - Safety Corridor

I'll start with one of the tens of albums I've listened to that came out this year, since I'm really really into new music. This is egg punk from Ohio and they have a great limited set of inputs - pleasing timbre dead pan vocalist, scraggily guitar, and bendy melodies. They use the first two of those here with their constant base and spare drums. It is a pleasing mix and something about this frank dick sucking song creates a believable erotic, dry as most truth is. The whole EP is good, I hope they make more stuff.

Razor - Speed Merchants

More discovery shit on my part, thrash metal isn't something I've explored too much but this album (Evil Invaders) rocks. Listening to this song just short of 40 years on feels like it agglomerates many disparate long-haired doer activities: rocking, gaming, being a tight end, drinking 12 beers. I do to feel like a speed merchant:

"Speed Merchants live for pleasure, Speed Merchants live for pain They live for understanding and sparks to start the flame"

Sounds like bipedal existence. My pain comes from loss of pleasure. Blah blah blah. Musically this shit is x-games rocking. It has that nice hook break down and then its all button mashing guitar strumming over a blast beat w ride smashing thrown in. Then there is real shredding in the middle... and it comes back, fuck the high pitched guitar turnaround goes soooo hard. Good shit Canada, idk much about Razor again, I thought this was going to be some valuable-only-for the album cover music, and it ended up being true mind expansion muzik. Look at some other album covers. LEGENDS!

Dynarec - Need The Teacher

Ok I looked up what dynarec means a couple weeks and it is something to do with running emulators and CPU usage on your comp. Could be totally wrong but I like that ok. Difficult to pick a song of this "User Input" album that's best, but this was one of my favorite. It has a nice detuning vibe and excellent cursed (not evil) toy box vibe, that talking synth melody that underlies the entire thing is a thing of distant beauty. Lovely! I listened to a lot of electro last month, and realized its a very strange genre often centered on elements I find have been done much much better in the development of hip-hop, techno, and other dance genres. But in this particular track there's idiosyncratic electro jamming!! Sweet.

2sdxrt3all - zack and cody

Ok I had to traverse forsaken urls to realize his name is phonetically dirtball, but I am a fried guy and thats why I'm still on soundcloud. This might not be the best example of dxrt3all, as there are songs where his adlibs almost argue with his main vocal track and show some of that beloved newness, but this beat! Oh loved that vibrato that comes in under the spooky high sine for the hook. The weight of "... he can't stop thinking about it" is intense, and admittedly, is a bit misleading of the manner dxrt talks about murder/robbery in most of his music. But he is a 17yr old ad lib master, and i recommend this song and then his discog (which I still need to explore). It's also cool he has a producer homie who he's almost exclusively linked with, there's still soul in the game! Hey I'm excited about a teenage SC head who isn't xavier (is he 20 yet?).

The Unlovables - I Want a Boy

Ok, seems like I'm bad at this shit, cause this is another consolation song from one of my most listened to albums of the past years. By that I mean there's a lot of good songs on this 2004 new york pop punk (power pop?) album. It is that pure candy muzik I fucking love, and I wonder if there's more like this to see. Still can't believe I missed that Everyone Asked About You show, but this song fucking rocks. I really want to cover it cause I think a version of this with 200+ bpm digital blast beats and overdriven synths instead of guitars would rock, the structure is so good. Unlovables have the best backing vocals, and all the musical cheese is liberated by the even cheesier lyrics. Perfect music, we should all get to feel immanence like this on a regular basis, sadly no one is as keen to soy as I am, and for that we will continue to burn. Hallie Bulleit is a really good vocalist.

Well let us hope that the world won't be completely fucked, and that it ends unnaturally instead of just being Joever. Americana should be perserved, global America needs to burn god damn. Hopefully I'll post more and that there will be initial and continued solutions in Gaza. Thanks

[aro-but-not-ace]

I've been ignoring the possibility of being aro for forever now cause it made me feel guilty (which is bad, I know), but I'm just going to dump all the reasons I think I might be here. If you could chip in your advice that would be cool, but don't feel required to, I know this is long.

When I was very young whoever my male best friend was was my "crush". When I had three male best friends, I had three "crushes". Then I thought I was gay cause I had a "crush" on a female friend of mine (whom I'm still interested in, but now that I'm older I know it isn't romantically). I would have friends I thought were cool in middle school who I would say were my "crushes" to make things easier to explain.

Later, I figured out one of my friends liked me due to some signs from mutual friends of ours. I felt nothing, but 3 months later I "confessed" cause they were cool and looking back I think I was platonically attracted to them. The idea of having someone who was interested in me and wanted to have a close bond made me feel fuzzy. Honestly I think they might have been aro as well, we only ever did chaste kisses and hand holding. I felt uncomfortable with this only because we dated for 2 years and I felt like there was a societal expectation for couples to be more physical. We were long distance, which I assumed was the reason for a lack of palpable romantic feelings towards them after like the first month of the relationship. We broke up amicably because I said I felt like my attraction had faded to platonic (I think it may have been platonic the whole time).

Now I've been feeling like there is something "wrong" with me because I don't feel attraction to anyone. Right now the only kind of relationship I can imagine with any of the people I know is platonic or friends w/ benefits. Idk if that is just because the available dating pool where I am is small though. I wonder if I went to a place with more new people if I'd develop romantic feelings. I can find people cute if I see them in the store or smth, but can only really appreciate them physically without knowing them well. I just feel like I'm missing a spark in me or something, cause romantic love is supposed to be passionate like a fire, right?

It is also strange cause I think I would only want any sort of relationship with a girl or a non-binary person (I am genderqueer). Can platonic attraction be queer?

Hello! I am REALLY sorry this is late, I hope I can answer in time for you to see this!!

First of all, there is NOTHING wrong with you for having no attraction. Just like there’s nothing wrong with an allo person not liking someone back for whatever reason, there’s nothing wrong with you for not liking anyone romantically ever.

I will say, as an arospec person, love ≠ passion. It’s different for lots of people, so it isn’t always passionate at first. However, despite what love feels like, most people can tell when they have a “spark”. If you don’t understand what allo people mean by a spark, you could definitely be aro.

Going with the idea of passion, it sounds like you’re allosexual (if you are asexual or acespec, skip this part). For me, I feel like my ideal version of love is passionate—but mostly because I am more sex-oriented than romance oriented. Someone who is alloromantic and allosexual would probably be more inclined to see love as something not as passionate. So if you’re aroallo, it makes sense to me why you’d have a more passionate idea of love (this is not saying that allo people don’t have a similar idea, I’m just saying that everyone is different, but if you feel sexual attraction and not romantic attraction, you’ll probably have a bias).

Overall though, it isn’t up to me if you identify as aro. I will say, you definitely sound like you could be arospec, but you could also be allo. Just feel free to take some time and think, and don’t be afraid to explore with labels and attraction. If you identify as aro and then realize you aren’t anymore, that’s okay! You have a better idea of yourself and your boundaries. And if you just identify as questioning until you figure it out—that’s okay too!! This isn’t a race, and you’ll find out eventually. Just be kind to yourself and take your time :)

[arnold-layne]

Hiya, NeverLove anon here.

If you’re still up for translating one of their songs I would appreciate it if you could do either track 1 or six from their Sex metal album. No pressure intended. I’ve slowly started listening to more Russian music and it’s been really interesting so far! Do you have any Russian rock or metal bands you recommend?

sorry this took me so long! i'll go with Лисий-кисий because i like that song too. so the title is a little bit hard to crack because officially the word кисий doesn't exist in russian. but it means something along the lines of 'cat-like'. Лисий-кисий thus can be translated as 'foxy - cat-like' (it's about a girl's gaze)

first goes the chorus:

Oh i like her foxy-cat-like gaze so much Look at me again Like this, foxy-cat-like Oh i like her foxy-cat-like gaze so much Look at me again. Hey, hey, again

chorus again

The devil's in the details, in the stuffy hall There's chemistry of young bodies You came here without a boyfriend Seems like he gifted you to me Closer-farther, let's play Until your hair is on my bedsheets I know, too cheeky That's what you like

Your boy calls, you don't answer Tell me I have hallucinations You look at me so bravely Kitty, don't snort so much You know you'll go with me Anticipating an adventure My fingers go up your skirt Don't mind me, it's just a joke

chorus

Good morning, you have 7 missed calls Let's make up a legend for you That you hung at the friend's You'll have to tell him that with courage This wasn't cheating You just decided to take your revenge on him Let's do it again and I'll call the taxi

Don't open your soul to me I don't want to listen to this I saw how bright were your eyes When you betrayed your feelings You fed your demons You needed it Don't mind it, it's just a joke Single-use joke

chorus

chorus

oh boy do i have recommendations for russian music for you! i've only started listening to it like a couple months ago (avoided it all that time thinking it was bad, yes i was very stupid), so i don't have many but i do want to give you some

Green Apelsin - great folkish music with acoustic guitar, texts are folk-related and love songs. i personally like the album Северный ветер (The north wind)

Эпидемия (Epidemic) - amazing power metal band! their songs usually border on fantasy, as it is with power metal bands. my fave songs are Всадник из льда (Ice rider), Письмо ведьмаку (A letter to a witcher) and Рожденный для битвы (Born for battle)

СЛОТ (Slot) - hard rock with insane female vocals. Check out their songs Круги на воде (Circles on water), Бой! (Fight!) and Мертвые звезды (Dead stars).

Нуки (Nuki) - solo project of SLOT vocalist. Страна (Country), Бойся (Be afraid) and Пищевая цепочка (Food chain) are very good! Obligatory mentions:

Король и шут (King and Jester) - probably the most famous band in the country. initially punk-rock, then they branched into several genres, including acoustic ballads and metal. i couldn't really get into it, but my boyfriend is a huge fan. there was a biopic recently which rejuvenated the fame of the band, idk if it's available in english tho

Ария (Love song) - an old heavy metal band that existed since the 80s. think russian iron maiden

Кино (Movie)- another incredibly popular rock band from 80s-90s. released some of the biggest hits in russian music, my first song i learned on guitar was Кино song even though i don't particularly like it. inactive since death of its founder, Victor Tsoi. there are legends that he's not dead, which gave birth to a famous saying Цой жив! ("Tsoi is alive!") ok this is all i can now offer but i'll keep looking and maybe make a list when i collect enough! russian music is definitely underappreciated on worldwide scene (we all know why) and that's very unfair, a lot of it is very good. ive sought a moment to talk about it for a long time, thank you for giving me an opportunity! hope you enjoy it!

[zorasapphires]

word dump time sorry

bg3 is hitting something big in my brain that I didn't realise how much I missed, I think my only bittersweet thing is that I don't really have anyone in fandom to talk abt it (or in my established friend group besides one person, who I appreciate! but it's different to an entire fandom space) since a) leaving twitter and b) really not caring about engaging with anyone i dont already know anymore (that part of my life is well and truly over)

but like I remember yknow, 9 years ago when dragon age inquisition came out and how much that completely changed what I love in video games, and how completely enthralled with bioware I was, how I played mass effect and that fundamentally changed part of me (something I also miss), going back and doing an entire playthrough of the DA series, my internet world just hugely opened up as I engaged with fandom in a way I hadn't since homestuck, made some incredible friends whom I don't really speak to anymore and really miss (most of who also left twitter a while ago, a couple I now follow here, some I fell out with) (I am probably going to go back and play bg2 as well tbh)

idk what the point of this is lol I am just so incredibly in love with bg3 (the effort theyve put into the story and characters far outways the really really unfortunate bugs) and I missed this, I missed a huge world with so much lore, character development, building relationships, just feeling enthralled to play more and more. like I know i picked up ffxiv because I missed huge rpg games, ffxiv has been super fun but definitely did not scratch this itch that bg3 is.

also funnily enough it's making me miss reading SO much. in 2021 i read over 50 books. this year I've read like. 2. but yeah delving deep into world building and character motivations...ima be picking up a book FINALLY after months of trying to talk myself back into it

[erintoknow]

Hello !

I'm sorry if you arleady answered this (I don't know how to use tumblr frankly), but I would like to know if you have any ither writting project ? I really like your stories and how you write, and since I spend too much time on fallen hero: retribution (the reason I'm back on tumblr tbh) I started my annual reading of the Aria-serie (btw I was the anon who asked if she could "print your story for personnal use" and I only realised later than it sound more "kinky" than "I-won't-print-them-to-sell-them-or-idk-do-so-capitalist-stuff-with-it"

hello reading friend, I remember you! c:

it never once occurred to interpret what you said in a sexual way, don't worry haha.

i do have another writing project now but it's unfortunately not one available for reading at the moment though i do post about it on my tumblr here from time to time.

towards the end of working on the Aria fanfic series I was getting really itchy to get back to working on something wholly my own and with my life getting busier, that's why i decided to give that series the little capstone it currently has and start exploring other ideas.

i toyed around with a couple different ideas and writing sketches before settling on that were a couple of character archetypes from the fanfic and plotbeats that i didn't feel 'done' with yet and wanted to explore more on my terms. so i started working on something in june and now like, uh, 8 months later i'm 47k words into my second draft of a novel project i'm currently calling Soul Rebel (i used that for a fanfic title first i know, but it's a good title okay, it stuck with me).

whenever i post about it on tumblr, that's i've been tagging it as too. sometimes i post draft snippets or thoughts or dump a bunch of vibes screenshots, i've got a concept playlist that i keep meaning to finalize and post at some point too because of course it's not my writing if i don't have music associations going on.

i don't have a good succinct elevator pitch for Soul Rebel's concept yet, but basically the core thrust for it comes from a pretty personal pondering of mine which is: when i first came out, i had a choice. i could have a roof over my head, or i could be true to myself. i chose to have a roof over my head, and i always wondered about how things would have worked out the other way. beyond that i've been throwing pretty much a whole bunch of stuff that interests or terrifies me: the effects of climate change and sea level rise on daily life, the totality of the surveillance state, how the advancement in medical care in a capitalist society only widens the gap between the poor and rich, cool superhuman powers (and their not-so-cool side-effects), queer community, being a neurodivergent little weirdo(affectionate), and the essential value of being kind to others in a cruel uncaring world

i could happily keep infodumping about what i've got so far, but this posting is getting long enough that i'll leave it there for now, haha.

i have no idea what i'll do with this novel once it's finished. i mean, obviously i have some vague ideas for another plot line after it that i want to explore, but i mean like, it terms of putting it out there. i can't imagine ever getting to publish it. the publishing industry is a nightmare to navigate, and while this technically won't be my first finished novel (those fanfics get that honor, i guess?) it's still statistically unlikely to go anywhere. would any printing press out there even be interested in a sci-fi novel with a bunch of queer characters and focused on a neurodivergent trans woman and an in-denial Ace enby?? i've been stuck reading a bunch of YA for my job so maybe there's some book i'm missing, but we seem pretty thin on the ground in publishing rep.

my other thought would be to set up a website and post it online serial fiction style, though i'd want to have the whole thing finished first. i value my ability to revise and rework way too much to give that up again, haha!

so... yeah, that's what i've been fixated and working on a lot in my free time. at least, when i'm not spending time with my partner, playing dnd, or reading. and now i have a second job which means even less writing time, tears.

some day i want to go back and give the fanfic a proper conclusion arc, but right now Soul Rebel's got my creative energy fixation

oh geeze, i went on for way too long, sorry about that! it's uh, it's pretty easy to get me talking about this at a drop of a hat rn. anyway, thank you so much for liking the fanfic!!

it means the world to me that people actually like what i write. i went to college for creative writing and it kind of sucked really. i ended up switching to poetry for awhile because a least people weren't tearing me down for it. anyway, it's been incredibly weird in a good way to get, and to continue getting two years on, positive comments on the fanfiction. i never imagined anyone would care or even like what i put out there. i just wrote it solely for myself and threw it on ao3 in a 'eh why not' gesture, so...... thank you!!!!!!!!!

[herofics]

Hi, I'm sick

This is just me venting a bit, but I'll put the important stuff here so you don't have to read the whole thing if you don't feel like it. I'm sick, pretty tired and don't have much motivation for anything, so Idk if I'm gonna post much this week.

I've been sick for like 4 days now and I'm so annoyed, because I don't have the motivation to do anything. I want to write and do school work, but I'm feeling like crap so I haven't done anything for a couple of days now. Or at least I haven't done things I want to do. I've been doing laundry, washing the dishes and making food. When I made the big pot of soup on Sunday, it took me probably a couple of hours because I was in a lot of pain. Idk why though, like sure you can get some joint pain when you have the flu but holy shit I was having a hard time moving the whole day. Peeling potatoes and carrots and stuff was a really bad time.

I really hope I'll get better by the weekend, because I need to go to the school next Monday and Tuesday. I have to be there, because we have group presentations and I already missed the last two school days because of the train worker strike. I only have school 4 days a month, and the rest I have to do on my own. We get assignments and stuff for between the lectures, and a ton of reading that we have to do. I've enjoyed it so far and it's really nice to be doing something again.

When I heard that I wouldn't be able to go to the school when the train worker's strike was happening, I didn't take it very well to say the least. I don't deal well with change, I had a panic attack and cried for over an hour, because I absolutely hate it when my plans change suddenly. My mom was suggesting alternative ways to get to the school, but I couldn't handle it at the time, so I just went to sleep. I was semi-okay the next day and I attended the lectures online since it was an option for two of the four lectures. Then of course I got a call from the social worker I've been in contact with about some additional benefits. She told me that I should go on a sick-pay of sorts and slow down my studies. The thing is, if I wanted to go on that particular sick-pay I'd only be allowed to get 12 credits in the time I need 33, so I really can't do that. I couldn't explain that to her on the phone because I was so stressed already, I just started crying and she just kept telling me to slow down my studies.

I thinks it's pretty fucking stupid to tell me that, since I'm doing well enough so I can study more. Plus, I need the 33 credits since I want to get into the degree program for the fall. It just pissed me off and added to an already stressful situation.

I would not deal with social services if I didn't have to. I'm just not in good enough place that I'd be able to work and study at the same time so I have to live on benefits for now. I hate it, but I also know my limits and I know it wouldn't end well for me if I started working too.

I've had a pretty stressful couple of weeks and now I'm sick, so the stress if probably catching up with me. Thanks if you read this, and I wish you a good rest of the week, and remember to drink water :D