#idk if i can even call it a show it was like...a whole experience

[starletcake]

Headcanon about mage Viktor and his 'origins'

I didn't really understand how viktor could be the mage from Jayces past and I didn't really get any real or satisfying answers to that from anywhere, so I thought I would spin my own little theory (or at this point you could say fanfiction) as to how this all happened, how viktor became the mage in Jayces story, what he meant by "only you could ever show me this" etcetc. I assume/determine/establish many things for my thoughtprocess to be true, I do that for my story to work and for my mind to be at peace and that it can grip an answer and not go insane about pixels because apparently i cannot act normal around media i like.

First of all, I'm gonna assume that some things are just true/meant to happen/fated in ALL timelines. For example that viktor is going to ALWAYS come into touch with the arcane and even if his path can be different each timeline his end goal is always the same - glorious evolution. I also assume that if you time travel/jump timelines and act as a seperate individual in this timeline (not like f.e. ekko replacing himself in his timeline) you are not allowed/cannot intervene too much with it because then the time/space continuum collapses or the arcane throws a fit idk.

So let's imagine a timeline, I'm gonna call it "the first timeline" (even though it doesn't really make sense in thinking of first/next/last timeline because all of the timelines are parallels, but bear with me), a timeline where viktor comes into touch with the arcane a different way, because here he doesn't even know Jayce exists (the mage which gave him the rune doesn't exist yet/in this "first" timeline). He merges with the arcane, thinks he's doing everyone a favour by initiating the glorious evolution, finishes it, creates a perfect world and everyone is happy. Except it isn't a perfect world and nobody is happy, in fact everybody is practically dead, without joy, love and choice, and Piltover/maybe even the whole world crumbles into arcane waste because of Viktors actions. He doesn't understand what went wrong, he didn't want this, he wanted everyone to have equal opportunities and end all suffering and be without sickness, be perfect. There had to be some kind of mistake here. So, with the help of the arcane, he travels to another timeline, and tries to change a few things in his story. With hindsight, this time he could steer his young self in the right direction and this time, surely it will work.

But it doesn't. So he tries again. And again. And again and again and again.

But everytime, in every timeline, with every change he made, with every different decision he made, with every different way he found the arcane, it always ended the same - the glorious evolution was a mistake. More than that, an error in his thinking of his younger self, which is the catalyst of the apocalypse.

Having seen that outcome time and time again, this "first" mage Viktor realizes that this cost for perfection is flawed, and that imperfections do have beauty in itself. So, he goes into another timeline, this time adamant to stop himself. But he fails. He just isn't able to stop his younger self, he is not able to prevent that he is coming into contact with the arcane, he is not able to change his worldview, he is not able to change anything about his goal or conviction. So, maybe someone else could? Trying and trying to introduce character after character into his life, trying to let others influence him, to no avail. How could he, anyway? How could anyone change this worldview of him? He, "first" mage Viktor needed countless of timelines and experiences to learn, that he doesn't have to be ashamed of his flaws, that he doesn't have to erase them and that imperfections are what makes them all alive. How could anyone show him, in his limited lifespan, everything he learned in a multiple factor of this time?

And this is where Jayce comes in.

Maybe, in one of the infinite timelines, the "first" mage Viktor was just as lost as Jayce on that fateful day. Maybe he was about to give up his endeavor of stopping himself becoming the villain in each and every timeline. Maybe, he began to accept that, just as he is fated to meet the arcane, he is also fated to doom the world. Then, he sees a little boy, crying over his dying mother in a snow storm. Maybe he thinks, even if i will destroy the world later, maybe I could do a good deed now, and saves the little boys mother. He gifts the little boy a rune, and goes on with his day.

And BOOM, Jayce just got introduced to the game. This little act changed the course of history entirely, suddenly there was a brilliant mind in the middle of Piltover, suddenly Jayce and Viktor meet, and suddenly, Hextech is invented. Viktor gets a partner he can trust, that he loves and admires and he gets this love and admiration and trust back. They understand each other in ways nobody else could, they share moments of intimacy and ways of love no romantic love could ever reach(thats also a reason i don't really ship Viktor and Jayce, deep love doesn't always have to be romantic in nature and there are so many other types of love that are no lesser and can be more intense(even though my gay heart yearned for them to kiss at that last scene ngl)(well this and maybe im also trying to convince myself that it doesn't always has to be romantic love that saves the world and is the most impactful and beautiful and fated etcetc(can you tell I'm aro)))

And suddenly, new hope flashes in mage Viktors eyes. It's him. He is the one. The only one. The one he was meant to meet, meant to choose so Jayce could choose Viktor again. And even though this timeline also ended in the wasteland mage Viktor saw so often already, now he knows, oh he feels that he will be the one to change it all.

So this little clip where we see mage Viktor giving little Jayce all these different runes? This is actually the end of mage Viktors journey, the last couple steps to finally find true peace, not in the form all of the Viktors always thought they will(glorious evolution), but in the form of accepting himself. And nobody else, not himself or Singed or Silco or Sky or Mel or Heimerdinger, only Jayce, only him, only you, could show me this.

(Finally, one of the runes caused Jayce to travel to another timeline where the apocalypse already has happened, and Ekko in one where he invents his timetravel device. Finally, mage Viktor can talk to Jayce and Jayce promises Viktor to stop him, forgiving him and loving him regardless. And Ekko, being the last push Jayce and Viktor needed to, being the catalyst of this even being able to happen)

I'm only writing/thinking about/posting this to satisfy my urge to understand exactly what was going on and why characters acted that way or why situations happened, to try to fill plotholes that nag my brain in a series that i absolutely love and gives me so many emotions(mostly pain, oh the misery). Idk and idc if any of that makes actual sense or fits in the lore of LoL or even the show itself, if it retconns some things or if the show itself retconns some of this theory/story, it makes sense in my head and I kinda like it, and thats what brings me peace idk how my brain works ok. (Plus it would be so cool to see some of the alternate timelines where for example viktor works with Silco and Jinx instead or smth)

[eggplantgifs]

yuzuru hanyu // GIFT, tokyo dome 2023.02.26

[sheryl-lee]

idk if this makes sense. but i kind of love that the last of us makes me cry and viscerally FEEL true emotions on a weekly basis. like i cant remember the last tv show i watched that had me consistently bawling my eyes out and so immersed in a show because of the characters, the story, the incredibly strong writing, etc. and it doesn't feel manipulative. it just feels profound and beautiful and poetic but also tragic and... human.

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry

( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)

(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)

[kuromi-hoemie]

hhhh talking about my writing was fun but 30 tags is not enough.. yes i have 3 major influences but i have minor ones too.. it is a lovechild of my favorite things.. writing is so fun and i have no self control or a concept of pacing myself i will sit there for 16 hours and get hit with every status effect but by god does it all just flow out of me. I've always been a music person yes but i also used to write a lot into early adulthood until The Incident™

but i am ready 2 jump back into it. i think comics are a great middle ground between the two mediums so i don't get As into writing bc i kind of started going crazy last time 🫡 i can take a more structured approach to it that forces me to pace myself and think about it differently. i love art.... i love making things i love knowing how to do things i love knowing how to play things i love having so many creative outlets, even if i don't do a lot of them regularly lol. it is enriching 😳 and nice to know that it's always there to come back to when u want.

[xnoctua]

🪶🦴🦋

[lustytears]

MDNI (luke castellan headcanons)

if you think this man’s a fuckin’ top n calls you “mami !!! feelin’ so good underneath me, fuckin’ slut,” you’re sooo wrong.

luke’s the kind of guy to fuck his fist to the sheer thought of your voice, the way it got all pitchy and high when you talked about something. fuck, he loved it.

he’s not afraid to moan (he is.) his poor legs will start shaking when your lips are wrapped around his achy cock. he thinks it’s the best pleasure a man could experience.

he’s a virgin. like. this man’s never seen tits, pussy, ass. nothing. he’s only been explained concepts from a few hermes cabin mates. otherwise, he scrunches his brows when you direct his lips to your clit.

like, he’s been in camp for years. he’s probably never seen a fucking woman. matter of fact, he closes his eyes when one approaches him lmfaoo.

“this is called a clit,” you showed him. “just keep putting your tongue on it, and i promise you’ll make a girl cum instantly.

(wtf is cum bro??? girls have buttholes??? huh???) /jk

he obliged, pressing his tongue down and eating you out like he needed to remember the taste like it was the last meal on earth. he’d palm his tight pants, his cock pressing against the harsh fabric and moving his hips.

honestly i feel like next time he’d forget where the clitoris is when he eats you out again.

fuck this whole “dom act” cuz bro loves being degraded and corrupted. he just needs to feel your cunt move up and down on his cock whilst you call him a loser for cumming so soon. this was his punishment.

i’m not joe goldberg but i’d say he’d last 8 seconds the first time he fucked a girl. it was awkward because he was shifted underneath a girl, her legs strapping around him as he laid down on the bed. you showed him where his cock went, and he thrusted slowly before widening his expression and closing his eyes after he came so hard in you.

oh, his favorite position is anywhere he can see your eyes. he just wants to enjoy the feeling of your eyes watching him, his every move, every kiss he pressed on your warm skin. all of it.

he actually cried. like, cried the first time he fucked you. he couldn’t stop complaining about how sensitive his cock was as you helped relieve some of the friction with your tight walls.

did i say he whimpers?? (i did……)

listen, he tries to act all tough when he wins capture the flag and even goes as far as tackling you down to the bed and taking off your pants but deep down inside all he can do is pathetically whine and moan when his tongue flicks your clit relentlessly.

he wouldn’t mind calling f!reader mommy at ALL. i mean, let’s ignore may castellan and propose the idea that he’d definitely blurt out “mommy” when your tongue swirls around his pink tip and when you keep fucking him with your mouth even after he’s deposited a load or two.

he’s such a tits man (that’s for ella.) he just grabs at your tits n gropes them relentlessly when he’s in the moment.

i feel like he’d love cockwarming idk why??

like, when you’re asleep he’d just keep his cock inside you after you’ve fucked out the cum from his balls.

anyways guys….

[finalgirllx]

guitar teacher!ellie x smartass!reader thank you for all the meet-cute requests @thatdammchickennugget -- they are my absolute favorite and this one is a classic. i plopped a lot of my real life into this lmao. i kinda wanna do a spicy part 2 here. idk. we'll see!

you wait with bated breath inside the cramped, soundproof lesson room at your local music store, where you signed up on a whim to learn the guitar. it’s an impulse decision, really—all but doomed to be just another tick off the ever-expanding list of random cool skills you’ve tried. at the very least, you hope maybe you can whip this one out to “impress the ladies.” maybe even serenade them with some songs and actually sound good doing it—lord knows many have endured the clunky chords of a red hot chili peppers song from some mediocre man already.

you clutch your new guitar semi-awkwardly, plucking the strings and lightly tapping the cool basswood. you can tell that the tune is off, but damn if you know how to fix it. you wonder if you’ll abandon it after the first 40 minutes, just like most other hobbies you’ve sampled.

in your hasty decision-making, you hadn’t even requested a specific teacher. you’d only ever seen middle-aged men employed here, which is fine. you trust their experience, picturing some warm-hearted old rocker coming in and showing off his tried-and-true tricks. what you don’t expect, then, is when the door opens and a girl your age enters the room, extending her hand to shake yours.

“hi, my name is ellie. you’re the one here to learn guitar, right?”

you shake her hand, eyes glancing over her form, trying not to seem like a dumbfounded creep. jeez, she’s cute. she has reddish-brown hair in a choppy bob, freckled cheeks, green eyes, and a dorky smile. she’s adorned in a faded blue jacket rolled up to her elbows, revealing arm tattoos, and a ragged t-shirt with a band you’ve never heard of. and this is the cutie who will watch you fiddle with out-of-tune strings and act like a complete dumbass? you half hope the ground will swallow you whole.

“yeah,” you manage to reply once you remember how to speak. “that’s me. word of warning: i really don’t know what i’m doing, so i’m, like, a total beginner.”

ellie chuckles reassuringly, likely having heard that tired statement a million times over. she gently picks the guitar up from your lap, inspecting its quality. of course, in her hands, the instrument looks like it was made to be held by her. “hey, that’s fine. everyone starts somewhere, right?” she gets to tuning the strings as naturally as breathing.

“so, what’s got you interested in learning?” ellie suddenly asks, just to fill the dense silence of the room. your mouth runs dry, struggling with a response that doesn’t sound as idiotic as “i’m an obnoxious flirt.” she catches onto your fumbling, adding, “what? wanting to look like a badass guitar god, hm?”

“calling yourself a badass, then?” the tongue-in-cheek question escapes before you can rein it in. ellie pauses her tuning to look up at you, and your heart drops to your stomach. she’s going to kick you out, you reckon.

“i mean… you are staring at me with your mouth open. must be in awe of my guitarist badassery or something. i don’t mind,” ellie replies with a knowing, smug smile, then returns to helping your sorry ass tune up your guitar.

yep, you definitely need that hole in the ground right now.

after that rocky introduction, the lesson takes on a more professional atmosphere, with ellie explaining the basics. she teaches you about the body of the instrument, the strings, and some basic history—you name it, and she knows it. it’s clear that ellie is enthusiastic about the guitar, her interest rubbing off on you, which does not help your case with how cute you already find her.

you try your best to be a good student, which isn’t the energy you typically bring to all your other short-lived courses. there is something special about ellie’s passion—how her lips move as she speaks about it, how her eyes light up, her fingers curling against the strings while demonstrating songs—it compels your attention. you listen respectfully to the multitude of rambles she embarks on and cuts short whenever ellie realizes she has led you too astray from the basics.

at approximately the 38th minute of the 40-minute lesson, you realize that you haven’t attempted to actually play the damn thing. ellie must have come to the same realization, flashing a tilted smile, hoping you aren’t too annoyed that this instructional course devolved into a ted talk, a worry she couldn’t possibly be more wrong about.

ellie assists your clumsy self in positioning the guitar onto your lap, showing you how to hold it correctly. the closeness has your heart racing, and every touch sends shivers through you—you hope the internal gay panic doesn’t translate outwardly. ellie takes her time helping you press your fingers onto the correct strings and frets to play a simple “c chord.” her fingers guiding yours with such precision causes your thoughts to veer into thousands of inappropriate possibilities. the pose feels a tad contorted, your fingers placed in a way totally foreign to you, but her reassurance builds your confidence to try. she crouches before you, making final adjustments before her greens glance back up to you expectantly, waiting for you to try.

you strum the one chord—a passable sound that resonates throughout the guitar. it gets the job done but, of course, lacks the flow that ellie could have had. but ellie is proud, her genuine smile and silly applause flustering you.

you find yourself feeling more accomplished in this single instance than in the last three skills you’ve tried combined.

“good start, guitar god. i’ll show you another one—if you think you’ll stick to a second lesson,” ellie then suggests, an endearing smile on her face as she watches you absent-mindedly fiddle with the individual strings a bit more. an effective bargaining tactic for sure.

“yep, no problem.” easiest commitment you’ve ever made.

"hell yeah," ellie rejoices, reaching out one last time to high-five you. she looks delighted. just happy to have a new, consistent student, of course--that has to be it.

you sign up for another lesson after—and maybe another. and another.

[netherfeildren]

Busy, Dying. Part 2;

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader

Summary: In an in-between place called his life, Joel Miller is alone. In search of a cure. In need of a miracle. In want of God.

Can I interest you in a cure for loneliness? She'd asked him in a language without words. Taking it is the easy part. Letting her go is impossible.

-OR-

an a/b/o soulmates AU

Rating: Explicit 18+

Content Warnings: No Outbreak AU, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Soulmates AU, Infidelity, Cheating, They're behaving badly and doing things they shouldn't be doing idk, HEA!!!!!, Angst, Fluff & Smut, Scenting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Group Therapy, Social Experiments, Explicit Sexual Content, Dom/sub Undertones, Complicated family dynamics, Discussions of self harm, Depression, Existential Angst, He’s a loser your honor!!!

Word Count: 6.3K

Read on AO3

Part 2;

It is your own conspiracy that if you say the words three times in the mirror—I am so alone I am so alone I am so alone—the feeling will go away. Banished ghost. 

You commit yourself to this practice religiously for three weeks before you feel you must absolutely return to the meetings held in the basement of the Emmanuel Episcopal Church or you might just die. 

The first Friday back, you watch him. He blunders around the crowd, struggling to find a seat when he rushes in late that evening, trying to sit as far away from you as possible and, to his great misfortune, ending up right behind you. Squashed between two old ladies, his big body comically trying to fold itself into the tight rows. You laugh at him the whole way through the meeting. 

He’s like a raging bull after that. Scowly and unapproachable as the omegas in the group inevitably make their meager attempts to talk to him. It makes it all the more irreconcilable, a man like that here in a place like this—all the while with a wife at home. 

You wonder about her. 

“That one has a bad temper,” Maria warns as the two of you watch him. They seem to know each other in some way outside of this church, and it takes everything in you not to beg for details. “Big and hairy like a bad, lonely dog.”

You say, “I think he’s shy.” 

She watches you very peculiarly after that, and tells you, “You’re lost, girl. Joel Miller isn’t what you need finding you.”

But you know this, you assure her, and you continue to avoid him. 

The following Friday, he’s the one playing the disappearing act. The next week, as well—no show. You start to dread even your own shadow, wondering where he is, wondering if he’s ever coming back, if he has children and how old he is. Wondering if he wonders about you. Wondering why you’re so obsessed.

Too full of curiosity for your own good, you hover when he finally appears once again. Circling him and Maria, desperate for any sort of information. 

His wife had been sick, he says. He’d had to take her to the doctor. 

You wonder if her sickness might be his baby—sick to your stomach at the thought of it yourself. 

Finally, the week after, the two of you break your fast from one another. 

“You’ve been ignoring me,” he says, coming up from behind, ambushing you once again at the dessert and coffee trough. This is supposed to be a safe space, yet it feels anything but with him near. 

“No I haven’t.”

“You’re not supposed to tell lies in church. It’s a sin.”

“I don’t believe in sin.” You turn to face him, and your stomach hurts. 

He’s got on a dark green fisherman’s sweater—well worn but knit sturdy. A thing that looks as if it’s been his for years. 

You’re feeling thin-skinned and unable to face him today, and for no good reason. You don't know this man. You have no right to punish him with your silence, no right to be angry, to wonder about him. But that sternness from before, the one that looked too heavy for him to carry, has been wiped away from his face now, and in its place he only looks very earnest, like he really wants to talk to you. And it’s only that, well you don’t know him, yes, but you’d felt that you needed to, or that you would. That you were meant to find him in this place, and you’re angry at yourself and at him at how wrong you’d been, still even after all these weeks of radio silence while he’d been busy caring for his sick wife. 

“Me either,” he gives a small huff of laughter, shoving his fists into the pockets of his dark jeans. 

Setting the donut in your hand back on the table—rude and gross, but it’s an afterthought—you wipe your sweet sweaty palm against your hip, appetite all gone now. The basement is suddenly unbearably hot, your heart beating in your throat. 

“Anywho, I gotta run. Somewhere to be—” you mumble, brushing past him. There’s a sudden rush of itching heat burning its way up your chest, your throat, ants crawling over your scalp. The room is stifling, your limbs leaden and too many bodies; so many disgusting, clashing scents: pheromones, and desperation and such terrible loneliness, and him at the center of it, ambrosial.

You’ll have to recite your mantra more faithfully in the mirror every night, not a single miss. Remind yourself, I am so alone, so that the feeling might go away, and you’ll forget him and the way he smells and his eyes like amber green river stones, more quickly. 

“Whoah, hold on,” he calls after you, following to the exit and up the steps to the world outside of this church. You’d brought a coat today, unable to enjoy the cold the way you usually do, uncharacteristically chill, aching limbs, miserable in the biting morning air. He calls your name, and you clutch the wool against your chest, trying to hurry away from his much longer legs and pace as he catches up. 

Suddenly, though, you change your mind. Whirling around to look up, you stop your running, and he’s right there, so close. “I haven’t been ignoring you. You were gone.” Mind changing again, your gaze falls, unable to hold his eyes. You watch his left hand flex like he wants to do something with it. 

“I know. I’m sorry.”

A scoff. “What are you apologizing to me for?” 

“You’re the most interesting person I’ve ever met in my entire life.” He says it quietly by way of explanation, like another apology. 

“You must not have met very many interesting people.”

It feels hot and cold at the same time out here. Your stomach still hurts. Your eyes ache as if you could cry, which is ridiculous because you have absolutely no reason to cry. 

“Maybe not,” he says very low. It seems he’s drifting closer, like you’ll float away. A car honks its horn loudly somewhere in the background, and you still can’t look at his face. His own coat is clutched in his fist and now the honker is shouting too, expletives and God’s name being taken in vain. 

“You should go back in there,” you tip your chin at the depths you’d just fled from, stealing a quick glance at his face, “Find someone else who’s interesting.”

He grunts once, a wordless no and lifts his coat to drape it over your shoulders—you decide you’re even colder now, you don’t think you’ll ever be warm again—and takes yours from your listless grip, draping it over his elbow. 

This man. “Aren’t you here to get to know people?” You demand, finally looking up at him angrily. 

“No,” he shakes his head. “Let’s go for a walk.” His palm at your bicep urging you towards Arlington and the garden sends all sound skittering out of your ears. He reminds you of your earlier words, that he might like to walk, and you can hear yourself agreeing while you look up at the muted light of the late November afternoon leaching through the cloud cover. Through the wool and cotton you feel your skin sucking heat from that singular point of contact, warming you entirely.

It had been blisteringly cold last night, the alluring taste of incumbent winter in the air, and a vicious frost had ermined all the tree trunks within the Boston Public Garden, roughened the surface of the grass. 

Joel chooses a quiet spot by the pond, the willow weeps above your head and all around the two of you the sharp autumn air is lightly laced with the fragrance of leaf rot. An elderly couple floats serenely in a lone swan boat at the center of the pond, not a ripple in the surface, as if they weren’t really there. 

Helping you to sit, he gently pulls his coat from your shoulders, laying the garment for you to rest on protected from the frigid ground and carefully looping your arms through your own coat now, he pulls the excess fabric of his up, draped over your shoulders once again, leaving you securely enveloped from the cold. 

“Here, let me help you,” he says, and the sudden gentleness in his voice makes you want to burst into tears. His character, that of some matryoshkin sort, one embedded in another in another, never knowing which is the realest one, the truest one, which will come next. Angry snarling dog one day, a gentleness that burns the next. You have the sense that a person could know him for decades and still never reach the center, never cease to discover more. 

Sitting before you—you perch alone on the island of his given coat—he tilts his head, leaning back braced on thick arms to look up at the swaying vines with just an impression of brilliant yellow-green, as if that were the color of the air. A sudden breeze stirs the softness of his hair, lifting a stubborn cowlick, and at that exact moment, the cloud cover parts on the face of the sun. In the brilliant shaft of buttered sunlight, his dark curls glint with specks of purest silver, leaving you wishing you could touch the fan of fine lines at the corner of his eyes, feel his age with your fingertips. 

“You’re angry with me,” he finally says, head still tilted towards the sky. You watch him very closely, learning. His voice is deep, quiet. He looks tired, the violet shadows beneath the brilliant hazel eyes. Still beautiful, the full, slightly sulky curve of his mouth surrounded by dark beard. He is everything, all of him, masculine. 

“It doesn’t matter.”

Finally, he looks at you, too. He’s got a big head, proportionate to his big body, that falls back heavily. You can’t help smiling at him, it feels too natural. 

“Now you’re honest.”

“I wouldn’t tell a lie here,” you say, and he sighs like you’re a supremely difficult little omega, too impossible to be reasoned with. But turning back to the sky, eyes closed now, there’s a smile across his mouth also, and you wish the two of you could sit here and laugh forever in this moment.

The silence between the two of you is marvelous enough to be unnerving. Settled beneath his great coat, you’d never believed you could feel the cold so little—learning every fine detail that makes up the man. Even inches away from him, he seems utterly unattainable, each of the two of you existing on your separate islands—you trace the woolen edge of his coat against the ground—some twenty years your senior and married. But the cold has given you such a feeling of grounding buoyancy. You’d awoken angry, miserable, so full of despair you would’ve been sick with it if it were possible. And now—you hadn’t felt this alive or awake in years, perhaps your entire life. He is a marvel, and there are bubbles in your head threatening to take you floating away, and yet, your feet are firmly melded to the ground in reality. 

How attractive, how delicious the prospect of intimacy is with someone who you know will never grant it. It fills you with something ferocious or hungry or snapping, something pathetic that makes you want it all the worse. And he, with a gravitational pull too strong to even think of escaping.

Yes. You hadn't felt so happy in years. 

“How old are you?” Breaking the silence, you ask him.

“Forty three.”

“You have a brother.” He nods. “I have one too.”

“Do you speak to yours? I don’t.”

“He calls me once a month. It’s all he can bear of me.”

“Mine won’t speak to me.” He sounds sad saying so. 

“Why not?”

“I hurt him. Scared him.”

“My brother, he says my whole life is papier-mâché. My values are all wrong, I’m a crowd-pleaser. It’s probably true.” You’d felt it impossible to better yourself, and yet still, you tried for him. “How did you hurt him?”

“You can’t change a man, only make him more secure. Depending on his character that may then bring happiness or strength or success. Tommy’s failure of this in me was more than he could bear, also.”

The willow becomes your confessional. “I spiked my own drink once just to see what it would be like. A doctor told me afterwards that I have self destructive tendencies. I want to hurt myself, but I don’t want to actually feel the hurt, which makes me all the more addicted to it. A supernumerary on the stage of my own life, too afraid of hurting and hungry for it at the same time.”

The heel of his left hand, you notice, is bearing down on an old acorn burr, and yet he seems not to feel the pain. 

He’s looking at you very intently now. Some glimmering streak in his eye. It almost looks aggressive, and a muscle flutters madly at the edge of his jaw. He straightens, sitting up to face you. The acorn burr is left flattened and disfigured in his wake.

“The last doctor I saw told me I was depressed. I never went back after.”

“Are you?”

He laughs surprisingly full of humor and then instantly serious again. “Probably. I’ve been watching my life, scratching at it trying to get in. I can’t. It’s right there.” The matryoshka shuffles, locked in his melancholy one moment, spilling brightness the next. 

You want to understand him so badly your hands shake with it. 

“What’s your favorite thing about your work?” You ask him. 

Where does his wife think he is right now?

“That’s a nice question. Maybe…” he thinks a moment, “Getting to make things that’ll go in people’s homes. The idea that something that came from me will be surrounded by a family.”

You can’t help yourself. “Why aren’t you at home?” You ask him imploringly, unbearably sad for him, sick with need, desperate to understand what it is he’s doing here, and all at once, utterly certain of what it is you are. “Don’t you love your wife?” The question is posed with no bravery, and yet it still comes out into the world demanding. 

He clicks his tongue, taken aback, a shocked breath, maybe even a small, reproving smile. A hundred different emotions coming to life across his face in that single moment. 

“I don’t know,” he finally answers. “I remember loving her. Maybe. At best? She’s a stranger. At worst? An excuse?” But he says it like a question. He’s asking you, not telling, for he isn’t even sure of it himself. You’ve caught him off guard. 

“No…” the click of his tongue snapping you to attention, “That's too generous. We’re trapped in a box together, but completely strange to one another.” It suddenly feels like he shouldn’t be telling you this—about her. You’re sure he shouldn’t be. 

“Do you hate each other?” You ask anyway. There’s something…your only example of love and marriage being two people who had always hated one another and filled the home where their children lived with more hate. It’s difficult to fathom something different than what that had looked like. 

If you were truly brave, you’d ask if he has children, too. 

“No,” he says immediately, a non option, his brow furrowed. “That would take too much effort.” 

Now you understand. He’s alone anyways. The feeling of urgency within you mounts. You’re frightened by this moment of discovery. 

“You’re Southern. Your accent…” You can’t discuss this anymore, needing to change the subject. 

“Texas.”

“When did you leave?”

“Long time ago.”

“Do you miss it?”

At his, he laughs like the question is ironic. “No. Where are you from?”

“Sometimes it feels like I can’t even remember.”

And as if he’d pulled the feeling straight from your mouth, he tells you that he understands what that’s like, and you can’t help it when you reach for his hand, being as careful with him as you would any shy creature, needing to hold him. 

-

“I’ve never been in love,” you tell him, childish look of recklessness and valor coming across your face as you pick up on the earlier thread of conversation you’d frightened yourself with. “It seems too daring, even grotesque.” 

He thinks he wants to capture that look in a bottle and take it everywhere with him. His entire body throbs with a heartbeat and the shape of your hand fits his as if every joint and muscle and soft ligament had been specifically designed for him to hold, filled suddenly with a terrible sense of foreboding. Looking at you, one just knows there’ll be a broken heart. 

Your small thumb smooths gently over his large one, and he marvels that such an exquisite creature would touch him. God, but you’re beautiful. Your touch, soft and enticing and painful all at once. No one had ever been so gentle with him.

“Won’t you tell me a secret?” You beg.

He will. He might give you anything in this moment. In the weeks he’d been kept away, he’d desperately counted the days and minutes until he could return to that place of worship and honesty. 

“I think about you,” voice hushed, the shaking of the leaves not loud enough to mask the soft breath you suck in as he gives you his confession. He maps the architecture of the small hands in his grasp, fingers tracing fingers, uncured clay fragile before the heat. He feels tired and strangely spent, almost drunk on your touch. His thumb slides upwards, marveling at the softness of your wrist, and then there, beneath the shivering distraction of your pulse and his disturbing search, the unlocked fragrance of your scent gland. It drifts towards him slowly like smoke rising from sleep.  

The air seems to pulse between the two of you with heat and premonition. That singular moment before everything goes terribly wrong, he can see it in your eyes. Such vibrancy, excitement, recklessness turned danger. 

“We should…” you feel him begin to pull away, grappling to hold on to the moment and his hand, “We should fuck.” He takes himself back, letting you go. Where else was this being led?

He cringes away from you. “Excuse me?” 

“Sex. You’ve had it before.” His mind reels. His body’s reaction at hearing your mouth say these things, the way it shapes them, the soft, full lips wrapped around the words.  

Looking away, he watches the pond’s couple help each other out of the swan. In his periphery, he can see you begin to bristle at his silence. 

“Don’t be peevish. It’s unbecoming.” 

He can’t help feeling angry. “I’m not. I’m old enough to be your father.” And you laugh at him. You’re deviating paths now, going opposite ways and angry at one another for it. 

“We could pretend that—if that’s what you want,” you say, voice husky and seductive. A small palm smooths up his thigh and his gaze snaps fire at you, hand clamping painfully at your wrist, fingernails digging at your gland, disturbing more of that gorgeous scent into the air. 

You make a pained sound. He needs to leave. He needs to never see you again.

“Don’t be disgusting,” he shoots back, hot everywhere. 

“Don’t be a prude.” He flings your wrist away, and you cradle it against your chest as if he’d hurt you. The heat turns to guilt pulsing through his limbs. 

Warring to wounded then, your eyes. You wrap your fingers around your discarded wrist. “What if we lose everything? What if tomorrow’s the end of the world? What if we’re so thoroughly cured of our loneliness after all this is done, we never feel like we need another person this way again?” 

His muscles tense with the need to flee or attack, the thought of you needing him, of being needed in such a way—he’s like some creature coming upon its mate. 

Despite his age, he had never tried to truly seduce anyone. He had never truly wanted anyone. Not in any real and base sort of way. Desire for him had been a mute and ordinary thing. But he could have you now, turned into a thing he’d never been before, he could mount you and rut you into the dirt like an animal. Never so much a product of his designation as he feels in this instant. 

He can’t even form word, and your body seems to pulse against his with embarrassed heat and indignation. 

“Have you ever even fucked an omega?” You spit at him meanly. 

“We shouldn’t be talking about this.” Voice carefully restrained, each syllable off his tongue is measured with his tenuous control. 

“Tell me anyways,” you demand, shoving his coat off your shoulders being the thing that almost makes him lose it. 

“It’s cold. Put that back on.”

“Tell me.” And he shouldn’t. You should have no sway over him. No demand of his honesty or anything else that belongs to him.

“Once. Only because I wanted to know what it was like.” He’s man enough to admit to himself the embarrassment he feels telling you this.

But it seems to quell some tremor in your eyes, and you sit back, palm petting at your throat as if you’re trying to soothe yourself. 

“I’m sorry,” you say, gaze averted, glassy, delirious look there. “I’ve always gotten my feelings hurt easily. I’m—” you shake your head quickly, sucking on your lip. “...too sensitive. Sometimes I feel like I’ll float away if I don’t find anyone to hold me down.” 

He should tell you that you’re not, wants to, but the image of you weak and pinned beneath him churns in his mind. Whole body aching suddenly, needing his hands on you before he does something truly heinous—he straightens abruptly, abandoning your reassuring warmth. Feeling suddenly cold despite the sweat dotting his spine. 

Without another word he turns to leave you there, alone, while the swan pair watches from across the pond as the two of you part ways. 

The next morning he awakens stiff and burning, his cock a brand of heat against his stomach. And works his entire day in a static haze, lavender spots at the edge of his vision where all he can think about is how you smell and the way your hand feels in his. By five o’clock, his fingers ache, spasming painfully from gripping his tools too hard. Breaking his weeks-long habit, he decides to attend the Saturday night meeting, full of constrained energy and sullen moodiness. Reasoning that a pretty, young girl like you wouldn’t waste her weekend in the basement of a church abandoned by God. 

And is sick to his stomach with equal measures elation and dread when he spots you sitting amongst the crowd of metal folding chairs—wearing his coat. He doesn’t hesitate even a little when he claims the seat next to yours. 

The two of you sit in strained silence the entire meeting, the other alphas and omegas surrounding throwing alarmed and intrigued glances your way as the tension brews hotter and more frenzied. 

His body hurts. This is a painful kind of lust. 

He listens to the speakers tonight with only half an ear, instead, occupied with the memory of what you’d looked like the other week eating a jelly and cream filled donut, imagining what your mouth would look like smeared with his blood and come. He can smell your body, how hot and trembling nervous you are. So unlike all that blistering, innocent valor from yesterday. 

The omega with the cruel husband turned sick one is taking her turn again tonight. Now that he looks at her, she has hair that at one time was vibrant red, now turned a softened copper threaded through with white. Time is such a painful, slow thing, Joel thinks. 

“Have you ever been with someone you knew you were too good for?” The omega asks the room, while the one beside him begins to shake, knee jolting nervously.

You’re anxious, and it makes him angry that you should be made so by his actions. 

Too rough for forbearance, his palm clamps down tightly on your knee, holding it still, and you make some supplicant whimper at the back of your throat. Almost imperceptibly, you draw away from him, the line of your shoulders growing rigid, and a wild, irrational sense of loss steals his breath. 

He’s been so busy lately, distracted. He’s hungry, overstrained, anxious himself. He doesn’t mean to be brusque with you. He just can’t help himself. 

Would we be here if we had? Someone lost in the crowd pipes back. 

The woman laughs, she has a kind face. “Me either.” You shove his palm off your leg as if it burns. “But there was someone… once. A chance, maybe. Someone I didn’t choose but should have. We were friends. We came very close to being happy.” 

And he suddenly feels a wave of desolation so overwhelming wash over him. He turns to look at you, your vibrating profile, so pretty, and he’s gentle this time when he touches your knee. Just to feel you. How terrible, he thinks, to only come very close to being happy. 

The speaker changes, and then it’s Maria’s voice talking to them all. Joel still can’t look away from you as you, in turn, refuse to look at him. “Stop, Joel,” you whisper. But he can’t. 

“At the start of this, we usually discuss a second option for those of you who aren’t able to find what you’re looking for in this. Sometimes it’s not so simple,” Maria tells them. 

A miracle move on drug, she calls it. 

The group’s coalition is sponsored by a pharmaceutical company, one testing a cure for loneliness. Something they think of as pilled perfection, something to numb the pain of loss. Any emotional wound, now with the potential to be a thing of the past. The young omega handing out the pamphlets had promised an easy cure, it seems this is what he’d been referring to. And if the potential side effects included an inability to hold on to any sort of emotional attachment afterward, well, the encounter groups they’d targeted thus far were grateful for it in the end anyway. They were all alone after all. 

“It’ll help you let go of everything you can’t let go of,” Maria tells them. “Help make you forget. Help make you un-lonely. We’ll be holding a session Wednesday morning for anyone who’s interested in being part of the trial. Our sponsor company, Firefly, is very happy to welcome as many of you as possible.” 

Beside him, you whisper, “Only a coward would take that option. What a cheat.” He hesitates, perplexed and wounded by your words. 

“You’ll never have to grieve or miss something you can’t get back, ever again. I know that for many of you, this is the ultimate fantasy,” Maria says.

“I think it sounds like something to help let go. Like what I came here for.”

You exchange cards. Now it’s your turn, the wounded look. 

When Maria’s through, bidding the group goodnight and setting them all free to mingle, you’re up and out of your seat before he can get a word in. He watches you go as if he were some sort of abandoned lapdog, only for a second, before he’s once again, striding after you. 

You weave almost drunkenly through the crowd, first heading towards the exit, then to the beverage station, then correcting and veering towards the back hall where the restrooms and catechism classrooms are. 

Gaining on you, he takes you by the elbow, pushing you deep into the darkness of the long hallway. Going far enough the din of desperate socialization turns a quiet murmur. You’re really in the belly of the beast now. So quiet and dust infused it feels as if it’s been years since a soul stepped through here. 

“What’s wrong with you?” Your face glows with fevered sweat. 

“I’m sick,” you mumble on the tail end of a whine when he shakes your arm into responsive compliance. “Let me go. Stop,” you fight, trying to claw away from him.

“No you’re not.”

“Yes, I am. I threw up all night. And you have the personality of a snarling dog more than a man. Has anyone ever told you that?” Shoving at his chest now feebly.

Ignoring your caterwauling, he takes you in entirely. “You’re not sick,” he says again, sure now. 

There’s a timeless hunger gnawing at his gut. Joel suddenly feels more himself than he think he’s ever felt in his entire life. 

Dragging you high against his chest by the collar of his own coat, he brings the tip of his nose slowly to the valley of sweet fragrance at the side of your throat. Inhaling deeply at the flushed, swollen scent gland there. The sound of your toes scuffing against the floor excites him even more. 

“You’re not sick. You’re going into heat,” he says slowly; gathering the overwhelmed, shivering creature as gently as he can in his arms. 

Your fingers claw at his own throat in return, as if digging for his own answering scent. “No. But it’s not time. I had one not so long ago.” You sound on the verge of tears, and he makes a deep, soothing sound in his chest. “My blockers...I— I can’t be. It’s not time yet.”

“It’s a breakthrough heat.” His other hand comes around to the small of your back and ever so slowly, he presses your hips closer to his. “It’s mine. Because of me.”

“No.” You shove back with renewed strength suddenly, spinning around to scurry deeper down the dark hall and then careening on weak legs into an abandoned classroom. 

Heart beating madly at the prospect of the hunt, he takes a singular calming breath before he’s prowling after the sound of your crying. 

-

“You need to not run from me right now. It’ll make my rut come faster,” his deep voice comes from somewhere in the dark unknown. 

You scramble around the children’s desks, weaving your way clumsy with disorientation to the far end of the classroom. You don’t want to go into heat right now. You can’t. Not with him. You need to be safe and alone in the confines of your warm, comfortable bedroom, far away from the temptation of him.

His heavy, panting breath sounds closer and there’s a shriek in your throat like a struggling kitten. 

“You want me to lose my self control. That’s what this is, isn’t it?” There’s a loud crash as he shoves one of the little desks out of his way, followed by your answering shriek. And then he’s here, coming up behind you but finding mercy enough to hold himself back at the last moment, panting as if he’d just run miles fighting against himself. 

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I’m sorry. Come here, baby. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. It’s okay.” He takes a step closer, and the slowing of his breath and soothe of his voice calms you in turn. “You’re only going into heat, that’s all, sweet girl. I’ve triggered it for you and I’m sorry. Let me come to you.”

You let out a high and harried sound, palm smoothing over your throat over and over again. “Joel,” you say once.

“I’m here. It’s okay.”

“It’s only that—”

“What is it?”

“I have to tell you something.”

“Tell me.”

“I’m embarrassed.” A helpless tear spills out over the edge of your eyelid. 

“You’ve nothing to be embarrassed about with me. Ever. We understand each other, you and I. Don’t we?”

And he’s right of course. You’d picked his face out of the crowd in instant recognition, after all. “I’ve had heats…but I’ve never—never had a, a heat with someone. With an alpha.” 

He’s utterly silent and you feel deranged enough you’re almost certain you can hear the pound of his heart inside his chest.

“You’ve never had a knot take your cunt?”

“No.” You swallow. “Never.”

You hear a muttered fuck, and his breathing goes quick and shallow and then even again. He has better control over himself than you do at this moment. 

“Then how?”

You flush full of heat, embarrassed. “T—toys,” you stutter. “Medication to help ease it.”

When he steps closer, only calm accompanies him. All is suddenly quiet. You want him. Your disjointed mind, overwhelmed by too many confusing emotions had gone into overdrive for a moment, but now, with the scent of hot, aggravated alpha surrounding you, it’s obvious this was all you’d needed to calm down. 

You can feel his hot breath against your forehead, the wash of heat on each exhale and the lingering scent of sweet musk at his inhale. You touch his cheek with shaking fingers and feel him turn ever so slightly into your palm, and then he’s bending slowly. 

First, it’s a soft, wet nudge of his mouth, your bodies held apart. Then his strong nose bumping into the side of yours, the splendor of inexperience turning to knowing, a nuzzle. Coming in again hungry, with the slick of tongue now, and the deep inhale of shock at first taste. Your breaths rush through one another, and you feel yourself backing away in maybe fear, more likely overwhelm, but his mouth follows your retreat and then his palms are at your waist, tugging you into himself, pressing you tightly to his body with a ragged groan. 

“Your mouth…Your mouth is so beautiful,” he says.

Everything in your lower belly cramps in painful agony, and you scratch at his arms and neck without much strength, trying to climb higher and take more of him into your mouth. Oh, you want this so badly. You want it to be everything you’ve dreamed of so obsessively the past weeks. Nothing else in the world exists except for your two mouths pressed together.

His lips burn a wet path across your cheekbone, sliding to the side of your neck to suckle at your scent gland. “Fuck.” His scraped teeth along the patch of sensitive skin. “Have you had sex before?” The question is gentle, understanding, his tongue tasting your sensitive earlobe, head ducking suddenly to give a sharp bite at your breast. 

“Yes.” His erection is pressed firm at your belly, hot even through his jeans and your sweater. His large body radiates heat. At your back, his palm finds the edge of your top, sliding underneath to make first contact, blistering skin against blistering skin. 

“But not an alpha.” He says it smugly, the bastard. Palm sliding down to your rump, tucking you more tightly against his hard cock. You shake your head at the crook of his neck, fingertips twisting in the back of his hair. Your breath comes in wet little pants that sound too pathetic to bear.��

“It’s going to feel so good,” he promises, rubbing slow circles low on your back with that wide, strong palm. “It’s different. It’s…” That palm slides lower, squeezees the curve of your ass. “It’s ordinary if it isn’t with someone…special. If there’s not the possibility of—” 

You tell him you understand what he’s trying to say. 

“I think it’ll be so good between us,” he finishes. 

At the waist of your skirt, his fingers press between your skin and the stretch of your tights, forcing his large hand into their confines. Your breath skips into his open mouth, panting into one another he cups you between your legs and suddenly all you can focus on is the tight ache there, the nylon soaked obscenely between your thighs. His arm around your back squeezes you tighter to his chest and his fingertips are pushing past lace edge to feel the slick swell of wet cunt. 

“Oh, Joel. Not here,” you moan. “Someone will come in.” He’s circling your clit, so sensitive and so swollen it hurts. You tug him impossibly closer, and he presses you back into the cold stone wall. “We can’t in a church.” Your protestations sound weak even to your own ears as you spread your legs wider for him. 

“I don’t give a fuck.”

He takes your mouth again, sucking deeply, groaning even deeper when he presses inside of you to the first knuckle. “Tight, baby,” he breathes into your neck, his hips slowly grinding into your pelvis. 

He feeds you more, then presses a second finger, holding still for a second, then another. Panting like a rabbit caught in a trap with three of his too thick fingers stuffed in your overstretched cunt. The sound of popping seams moves up your spine. 

“Can feel your little cunt shaking around me. Jesus—” he groans. It’s all mine, whispered into your hair. 

Suddenly, there’s the open and close of a door nearby. And then the sound of someone’s voice calling your names. Joel huddles you further into the dark corner, confined by the protection of his body, his fingers still moving in and out of you, stretching you well enough to burn as he presses as deeply as he can and with the utmost gentleness, pets lightly at the painfully sensitive mouth of your cervix. Humming in satisfaction at the feel of you. 

“Right there?” He hums. 

You’re crying, clutching at him even more tightly. Your name sounds again, being searched for, like a warning. 

“If I fuck you, nobody else ever will.” His voice is so dark it’s menacing. It’s recklessness, verging on a lie. Maybe it’s hope. 

Pressing lightly again, petting, petting, he pulls his fingers back a little, the loud sucking sound of your cunt trying to hold onto him, and you’re coming for him, crying into his neck, sucking on his scent gland so that the taste of him floods your mouth. The sound of a door opening, and you hear him growl at someone to fuck off in a very scary voice, his fingers never ceasing their steady thrust inside of your clenching pussy, and the frightened slam of a door. 

“It’s alright. You’re alright. That’s my good girl,” he pets and soothes at you, pressing a kiss to your temple, your eyelids, your mouth again and again.

Part 3;

Netherfeildren's Masterlist

Updates Blog

[blossoms-phan]

What The Hell. like genuinely do we realize. just their cadence of speech and the way they carry themselves now is so different to the way it was years ago, and that shows itself in everything from videos to what they post on social media to what they’ve been doing on stage for the last few months but like. god. i hold ii as a stage show and the whole era like very close to my heart it really hurts to know how much dan struggled in that time and that it was supposed to be the end of Dan and Phil (it wasn’t!!) but I’ve been thinking about just how completely different ii and tit are as stage shows and the way dnp perform them and it’s like i saw someone wondering about the acting in ii and though it was heavily dependent on audience participation a lot of the show was also acting and it’s not that they didn’t do it well! they’re great performers and maybe I don’t remember bc I wasn’t super into the phandom ar that time but it just felt like they were a lot stiffer performing it and that they didn’t really let themselves mess up or be silly a lot (outside of what was scripted I mean). someone lmk if you have different thoughts on this bc I haven’t rewatched it in a while this is just a ramble but i am so so happy about everything that tit is and that I got to experience this version of them as a longtime fan because it is so, so evident that they are really in the dgaf era, being unapologetically themselves, no one can tell us what to do and just having the most fun ever- that all comes out through the way they carry themselves on stage, improv silly little things for fun, genuinely laugh and smile through it all and dan calling phil babe. that’s the whole reason I started writing this like. cheers dear. it’s okay honey. we let ourselves phannie out over those moments as well but this feels so different?? and we haven’t even gotten audio yet but idk how to explain this I just feel like if phil had messed up a line years ago it would’ve been like a more performance level reaction y’know, like an eye roll and a this guy which dan still very much does, but just genuinely letting an “it doesn’t matter babe” slip out like????????????? they’re literally just boyfriends partners in life actual soulmates who live and work and do everything together doing this stupid silly fucking stage show together every night and dan can just call him babe and they move on and do the show talking about them sharing a bed and the ways they’ve supported each other through this whole thing and how they’ve gotten to this point of beautiful shared authentic fun with their audience and fucking press their hands together and go back to back after that song like this has no fucking clear point to it and yet im losing my mind. does anyone hear me

[sheastri]

Can I Call You Rose? ft. ln4

Pairing: lando norris x fem!black reader

Genre: Social Media AU + Story

Summary: In which the reader grew up in a household where she was never able to express herself properly due to her father. Lando heals her inner child and helps her experience all the things she wasn't able to when she was younger.

Warning(s): None.

A/N: No specific facecast, just the gorgeous black girls of pinterest!!

Also please send requests, whether they're movie based, book based, song based, or even original. Spill your brains and I'll bring the ideas to life the best I can.

Dedicated to all the young girls around the world growing up with immigrant parents who they knew loved them but didn't know how to show it. You will find someone who allows you to express yourself and heals you inside out.

୨୧–------------------------------------------୨୧

Flashback To Y/n's Childhood

13 years ago

Y/n had just turned 10 years old and was excited to celebrate her birthday. Her mother had suggested they all go out and grab dinner at a restaurant of her choice as her birthday treat. They were at home getting ready and just about to leave when her father had said something.

He had insulted her mother and she knew immediately that it would prompt a whole argument so she grabbed the car keys. She made sure to tell her sister, who immediately followed behind her, before she went outside to the car to wait for their parents.

When everyone had gotten in the car it was dead silent. Nobody spoke a word until her father attempted to break the silence with a joke, not an apology, a joke.

Her mother had laughed and went back to speaking to her father like nothing had happened. Y/n and her sister had looked at each other before going back to their phones. Out of nowhere her father begin to go on a rant, well yapping spree, about how this generation was always on their phones and started to talk about how his life growing up in Jamaica was.

Both her and her sister laughed as their mother commented on his very animated story and the atmosphere felt lighter, as though everyone could breathe again. They laughed and conversed until they pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant, Olive Garden.

It wasn't giving birthday dinner but Y/n's been craving it for weeks now, the only reason they couldn't go was because of her dad. He didn't like their food and made sure to make it known. He had eaten something before they left so she could hopefully enjoy just eating her food.

They ordered and while they were waiting her dad decided that he needed to complain more. He started with a joke about how she kind of left him to starve and how next time she should be more considerate. Her mother laughed and her sister spoke up about how she didn't like Olive Garden that much either.

Y/n eventually excused herself to the bathroom and went into a stall deciding to just cry. Safe to say her 10th birthday was ruined.

Alexa play "Can I Call You Rose".

୨୧–------------------------------------------୨୧

Current Time

liked by landonorris, whosimani, maxverstappen, and 246,789 others

Tagged: whosimani

y/nsdiary ya'll the view is next level 🤭

view all 13,729 comments

whosimani girlll you so fine, lemme take you out and treat you right.

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username y/n and imani serving as per usual

username ok but what are max and lando doing up in these likes??

username i was js about to say... username i mean y/n's been invited to a race before maybe they're just friends?

username Can I call you Rose? 'Cause you're sweet like a flower in bloom…

liked by oscarpiastri, mclaren, y/nsdiary, and 567,293 others

Tagged: oscarpistri

landonorris the view is just spectacular

y/n'sdiary this man is who i'd be if i never had an original thought in my life

username not her clocking himmm oscarpiastri GAGGED username lando are u js gonna let oscar and y/n eat you up like this??

username whos the girl in the last picture??

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whosimani whos the smoking hot chick in the last photo🫦

landonorris shes all mine ↪ username my heart just broke into a million tiny pieces ↪username nah wdym by this lando??

username Can I call you Rose? 'Cause you're fragrance takes over the room...

୨୧–------------------------------------------୨୧

I Wanna Plant You in my Heart, Oh, So Love Can Grow

Y/n and Imani had bought tickets to attend the Miani Grand Prix since they happened to be in town. Y/n wasn't so much as interested in formula one as Imani was so she was pretty much just tagging along for the ride. It was Thursday and they had come in for what was known as "a pit-lane walk" because Imani had wanted an oppurtunity to talk to some of her favorite drivers. Most notable were Oscar Piastri and Lewis Hamilton. Y/n, personally was a Lando girl. She wasn't a hardcore fan but she tuned in every once in a while and used social media to keep up with everything going on within the formula one community. They were walking around when someone bumped right into y/n knocking the cold matcha out of her hand. It had gotten over her and the opposing force. She looked up, feathers a bit ruffled and was jumpscared, mostly because she expected some rando, with the face of Lando Norris. They were both frozen for a bit before he helped her up. After he had helped her though he stared at her for a long time and she just averted her gaze before accidentally getting caught in his eyes. She let out a soft laugh at the situation before apologizing. Lando's eyes momentarily widened before he quickly began to stutter out apologies. Y/n just laughed at his nervousness before he offered to help her find some clean clothes. Y/n looked at Imani who had given her a thumbs up before giving her that look with her eyebrows raised which made Y/n let out a soft sigh. She took Lando up on the offer and they walked off. Many people looked up at them seeing them both giddy and drenched in Matcha. The upcoming weekend Lando had won and joked with Y/n about having her come and visit again along with a cup of matcha in hand.

Can I Call You Rose? 'Cause Your Thorns Won't Let Blood In Too Soon

It had been almost 2 months since the incident and since then Lando and Y/n had kept in contact. At the moment Lando was trying to convince Y/n to go to the beach and have dinner with him but as more than friends. Y/n had turned the idea down due to being scared of the prospect of a romatic relationship. Eventually due to a bit of convincing from Imani and communicating her feelings to Lando directly she had given him a chance. She had dressed up in a cute pink two piece in which she wore her swimsuit under. She had 2 gold necklaces stacked on top of eachother, one shorter than the other along with some lightly colored bangals. Her makeup was pretty light and she had on strawberry sceneted perfume. She heared the doorbell ring and rushed down with her purse before taking a deep breath and fixing up her hair. She opened the door and was met with a giant boquet of pink flowers. Lando angled the flowers in his arms so that he could make himself visable but also be able to take in her look. If the weight of the flowers hadn't kept him grounded he would've thought he had died, had ascended to the heavens, and had seen an angel. He took her in with all his five senses. His eyes had been blessed, his ears had the pleasure of being able to listen to her soft voice, his hands had the ability to caress and hold hers, his nose was able to take in the scent of strawberry that surrounded her, and his mouth was able to taste wonderful cooking. He never wanted to depart from her. She invited him in and had him place the flowers on the dining table until she came home later to figure out where to place them around her house. He held out his hand for her and led her to his car.

"What a gentleman you are tonight Mr. Norris." Y/n teased with a soft smile on her face.

"Only for you Mrs. Norris." Lando teased back earning him a soft slap from Y/n.

They ate at the restaurant first before going to the Beach soon after. It was late evening but the sun still had yet to set. Y/n wore a swimsuit but didn't plan on going in the water. She had brought a book. It was more out of habit since she was stuck watching her siblings play instead of being able to enjoy the trip. Lando had gotten into his swimsuit and wasted no time jumping in the water before coming out a bit after. He gave her a look with his eyebrow raised and she immediately got up, book long forgotten, and began to run. He chased her for a while, letting her think she was getting away before sneaking up behind her and wrapping his arms around her torso.

"Lando, no. Don't do this to me." Y/n had said dramatically while dying of laughter, already out of breath from all the running.

"Sorry love, it had to be done." Lando says laughing as he now moves one his arms under her legs and runs into the ocean.

After they were both soaked and tired but for Lando the most important thing was that Y/n had fun.

୨୧–------------------------------------------୨୧

Current Time

liked by landonorris, whosimani, mclaren, and 524,936 others

Tagged: landonorris

y/nsdiary meet mr. totally in love with me

landonorris and proudly so

y/nsdiary u tryna be the patrick to my kat? ↪ landonorris always baby username well damn, i love this for herrrr username glad to see that shes being treated like a queen

whosimani ya'll are cute ig

y/nsdiary like she didn't tear up when i told her the news

username ouhh i see you girl

username the famed caption stealer

mclaren can't wait to see you guys in the paddock again soon!

y/nsdiary cant wait to be back!!

username I js know he lets her embrace her inner child

whosimani AND DOES!!

username Can I call you Rose? 'Cause your roots have the power to consume...

liked by y/nsdiary, mclaren, oscarpiastri, and 736,927 others

Tagged: y/nsdiary

landonorris Meet Mrs. Norris. The woman of my hours, my days, my years, and hopefully my forever. There is never a day spent in her arms in which I lack love. I thank my God for you every time I think of you and I hope that you know that you are the pinnicale of my existence.

y/nsdiary nah because you have me over here trying not to sob, you couldn't have waited till I wasn't out?

landonorris nope, the world needed to know how deeply rooted in my heart you are ↪ username thats it, im never settling username girl js like me fr, i do not need those people knowing im a crybaby ↪ liked by y/nsdiary

username my girl just looked at me and sighed

username just looked at my bf and sighed

maxvertsappen1 my gf wants to hang out with your wife.

landonorris sorry shes never leaving the house again ↪ y/nsdiary Mr. Norris, dont make me beat you up again. y/nsdiary I WOULD LOVE TOOO

username I love them together so badddd

username I wanna plant you in my heart, oh, so loving grow

୨୧–------------------------------------------୨୧

And that's all folks, follow for more amazing stories!! Remember to leave suggestions in my box!

Please like and reblog, not necessary but would help out!!

[uglycryinglawyer]

heyyy tumblr,

class of 2024 law student here. no offense but you know things are bad when i take it to tumblr. law school really does something to your psyche and i hate to say it but despite this whole movement on social media to be more transparent, i don't believe anyone will be completely honest about their experience when their words can be traced back to them. being believable as 100% genuine & honest while being anything less than to followers that cling to every syllable of yours does more damage than good imo.

ill start this page with some honesty that i would label as a 6/10 on the "how embarrassed would i be if someone from my post-grad job were to see this" scale i just made up.

my first semester i felt like the smartest version of myself i had ever been because i got 1 online award from a fake company (seriously what business does this "computer-assisted legal education" company have hosting awards for schools around the country & why are they receiving our grades to begin with) for having the highest grade in my class. mind you, this company/award is not at ALL affiliated with my school, its literally made up. but its something that is made PUBLIC (as in if you knew my name you could google me and this stupid award shows up), and so many schools still acknowledge it to, idk, create further divisions between students that i guess the whole system of making everyones grades 100% based on their finals and curved (not in a good way) doesn't do enough for?

now here i am, having finished my 6th semester & walked the commencement stage a few days ago ugly crying over a grade because i might have just lost my honors status. when in actuality .... ~ kim, there are people that are dying ~ why does any of this matter?? this is what 6 semesters of slowly having your confidence in your own intelligence chipped away at does to a person.

its not over yet though - bar prep starts last week :). actually it starts on may 20th officially, but no ones being honest about the fact that they really started studying the day after their finals ended, if not earlier.

so i've decided to document my experience for you all here. with bar prep & my foray into big law (you know this field was meant for babies because that's what we unsarcastically call a career at a top law firm) on the horizon, & 6 semesters of pure chaos behind me, i have a lot to say!

im not sure who this is going to reach because, again no offense tumblr, but i doubt this site has the reach it once did. maybe this will just end up being a time capsule for myself, which i would love. or maybe this will help 1 person cope, which i would love even more.

regardless, if you read this far, thank you & tttys. going to throw some random hashtags in now don't mind me.

[stars-tonight]

Hiii, i am the 🍓 anon, and I loved the fic headcanon thing 🫶. Can I request another one pleek

Characters: Atsumu, Suna and Akaashi

Can it be of what it would be like to date them while being the volleyball manager of their teams. Like the type of interactions they would have with each other and like the team or idk😭. Thank you, much love

~🍓

DATING THEIR TEAM'S MANAGER (FT. MIYA ATSUMU, SUNA RINTARŌ, AKAASHI KEIJI)

all pre-timeskip!

miya atsumu

🕊️ proudly shows you off every chance he gets

🕊️ gets teased about it a lot but he's proud of you so he doesn't get flustered

🕊️ doesn't let anyone give you a hard time

🕊️ (this includes opponents)

🕊️ if anyone even looks at you wrong, you can bet he'll be popping up behind you with a scary glare on his face like "oh, what business does _____-kun have with my partner?"

🕊️ makes you settle arguments between him and osamu

🕊️ if you rule in his favor, he'll rub it in osamu's face

🕊️ if you rule in osamu's favor, he'll whine and pout about it all day

🕊️ always asks you for any statistics you take of his team and of other teams

🕊️ will make you stay back with him and osamu after practice ends to do some extra reps

🕊️ timeline issues: depending on whether you're his partner before becoming the manager or you're the manager before becoming his partner, the rest of the team will treat you differently

🕊️ if it's the first case, they'll be sure to be very respectful

🕊️ you'll probably end up helping kita keep atsumu in line

🕊️ if it's the second case, they'll be a lot more comfortable around you and will probably poke fun at your relationship

🕊️ atsumu seems like a rather possessive guy, so he'd be a big fan of pda

🕊️ demands good luck kisses before every game and congratulatory / comfort kisses after

🕊️ WILL kiss you in front of everyone and not be shy about it

🕊️ calls you the team's good luck charm

🕊️ if you don't praise him he'll be really sad lol

🕊️ i give you miya atsumu, the man with an intimidating presence on the court but who, in front you, turns into a huge whiny child just needing to be taken care of

suna rintarō

🕊️ gets teased about it 24/7

🕊️ atsumu flirts with you just to make him annoyed

🕊️ complains to you all the time about the twin's antics

🕊️ if they're fighting, he'll look over at you with a "please save me" look and an eye roll if he's feeling extra sassy

🕊️ after practice or a game, he looks for you first for a high five and a hug

🕊️ will complain if you don't give him either

🕊️ on bus rides to games, you'll automatically be each other's bus buddy

🕊️ he likes to nap so he'll lean his head on your shoulder, sling an arm around your waist, and just drift off while clinging onto you like a koala bear

🕊️ he doesn't really care which seat he gets (window or aisle) because his head is going on your shoulder either way

🕊️ during one of these bus rides, someone somehow took a picture of the two of you sleeping

🕊️ this picture somehow ended up in the team's group chat

🕊️ suna isn't a big pda fan but he's very clingy if that makes sense

🕊️ so he won't be covering you in kisses like atsumu would but he'd always be holding onto you somehow

🕊️ he usually takes it easy during games but if you're the manager he'll try just a little bit harder

🕊️ enough for someone like kita or a coach to notice though

🕊️ the timeline thing from atsumu's section stands

🕊️ if you were suna's partner before becoming the manager, some of the team members (mainly atsumu, who's the most serious about the sport and the team) would probably doubt you at first, especially if you didn't have prior experience with volleyball

🕊️ but suna would warn him (in a lowkey threatening way) to not give you a hard time and then he'd back off

🕊️ if you were the manager before becoming suna's partner, holy crap would atsumu tease the hell out of your relationship

🕊️ but you know the whole team loves you and wouldn't hesitate to help or protect you

🕊️ as a partner in general suna is not unlike atsumu, but he's more clingy while atsumu is just plain whiny

🕊️ introducing suna rintarō, the man who's just a little lazy and snarky with his teammates but is actually the clingiest baby ever

akaashi keiji

🕊️ super caring and attentive

🕊️ especially since the fukurōdani guys can get kind of rowdy (*cough cough bokuto*)

🕊️ he makes sure you're never overwhelmed when you're at practice or on the bus with them

🕊️ if you ever stay back for extra practice, he'll make sure it's of your own free will and that you actually want to be there

🕊️ on the bus rides to games, fukurōdani probably hosts a whole freaking karaoke party

🕊️ bokuto is the main vocalist, washio is forced to bust out some dance moves, and konoha and sarukui do the adlibs while akaashi tunes them out to read a book and the coaches are contemplating their life choices

🕊️ so before your first bus ride with the team akaashi reminds you to bring headphones, and preferably noise cancelling ones

🕊️ when he's thinking of new plays to run he'll ask you for your thoughts

🕊️ the point i made about the timeline in atsumu's section still stands

🕊️ if you were akaashi's partner before becoming the manager, bokuto would happily welcome you (you definitely know bokuto if you're dating akaashi)

🕊️ and the rest of the team would be nice to you too, kind of how they are with fukurōdani's managers in the actual manga

🕊️ if you were the manager before becoming akaashi's partner, they'd also just joke around with you a lot more

🕊️ akaashi will tolerate jokes and teasing but if anyone makes you upset, holy crap his face will get really scary

🕊️ he's usually not an intimidating dude but his seriousness can be scary sometimes

🕊️ kind of like in the series when he was like "good passes pls" and his teammates were all like "oh shit yes captain" (even though he’s not captain lol)

🕊️ if anyone has any problems about your relationship they can take it up with akaashi

🕊️ not saying he'd go duke it out (that'd be something more up atsumu's alley) but he'd just calmly explain that you're very happy together and he'd appreciate it if they didn't make rude remarks

🕊️ is probably cursing them out in his head though

🕊️ bokuto would also be a big defender of you guys

🕊️ akaashi keiji everyone, the man who doesn't give any flying f--s about what others think about you because in his life, you are the one thing he is sure of

A/N: there you go 🍓anon, i hope you liked it! it's always a pleasure to write for you, please feel free to request more in the future! also this shouldn't surprise anyone by now but it was indeed unedited

[kisses4tom]

Sooo, since we got Uncle Billy do we now get GirlDad!Tom ?? I’ve looked high and low for a Tom X Reader family story😂😭 your writing is amazing <3

ᡣ𐭩 DADDY TOM

───────────────

YAYY FINALLY SOMEONE REQUESTED THIS!! 😭 I've been dying to write something like this since I have already made an uncle tommy hc! and thank you so much ml 💕

I think we can ALL collectively agree that Tom would be the BEST girl dad, right? 🌚 so the baby will be a little girl!

also I'm gonna make this a teen pregnancy (18), so from the very start up til now!

───────────────

when he finds out he would probably freeze for a moment before finally reacting (gotta soak it in yk)

he would be happy but shocked and confused at the same time

scared not to be present enough because of tour and the band

he would always kiss and touch your stomach

he'd cry when hearing the baby's heartbeat to the doctor 🥹🫶🏻

"I want the baby to be healthy, but if I had to guess I think it's a boy" (he 100% wants a girl)

idk I feel like he would call the baby "kleine Prinzessin" (little princess) or "kleiner Soldat" (little soldier) !!

when you go into labor he tries to keep his cool but deep down he's in full panic mode

the first time he met/held her it was like love at first sight for him even if he didn't quite know how to act since he never really had any past experiences with babies

he's very careful and gentle with her

always holding her

he would attack her with tickles to hear her little laugh

kiss attacks also

playing with her all the time

he wouldn't essentially spoil her (that's uncle Billy's job 😉) but he definitely gets her most things because he can't say no to that little face!

likes holding and showing her around: "look who's that in the mirror? it's you!"

definitely hiding her from the media

yet he LOVES talking about her in interviews!

though very very VERY rarely he would bring her out on stage and hold her like mf simba when she was about 1/2

his heart is always full whenever she's around

he would kneel down to talk to her‼️😩

always pushing her stroller or carrying her on his shoulders

don't ask me why but he'd get into play fights with her at the dinner table 😭 (especially when she's still learning to talk so she's speaking gibberish 😭)

he loves to take her baths and put fun toys in the tub

finds her extremely adorable in everything she wears

he'd give her his yellow dog plushie‼️😭 currently sobbing

I feel like he would try his best to let the baby's first word be "papa" 😭

when she's older he would start being more himself (so talk about things freely and make dirty jokes all the time)

he's not a regular dad, he's a cool dad! 😏 (please get the reference 😭)

he'd give her the talk 🫢🐝

he would pick her up in weird ways and make her laugh (like upside down etc lmfao 💀)

would let her do his hair but not his make-up

like I said in my uncle Tommy hc, i feel like he would love to play with the toy kitchen for some reason idk 💀

he's the overprotective girl dad FOR SURE (AND ITS THE HOTTEST AND CUTEST THING IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE)

he'd go down the slide with her 😭

at lunch/dinner he would always sit next to her

looooves when she's at their concerts and would ask Bill to dedicate her a song (especially her favorite)

he'd definitely write her a song too

he would make her try to eat a lemon 😭🍋

it's important to him that she has a good bond with her uncle Bill and the boys too! (uncle Georg and uncle Gustav 🥹)

"Y/n she looks more like me than you, gotta be honest"

he would give her what he didn't have growing up (if you read Bill's book, like I have, you'll know)

he wouldn't let anybody hurt or say anything wrong about her

hype man fr

high-key a very chill and permissive dad

he would make sure she knows her worth and to always be herself, without listening to what others say

always saying that she's the better copy of him

since he had her young, people (maybe even teachers at parent teacher conferences) mistake him for her brother and it's needless to say that he's very flattered while his daughter is just like 😐

they have a great bond

LITTLE FUN FACT‼️ Tom said in his podcast that if he ever has a daughter then his dream is to name her Nala like in the lion king movie 🤭😭 crying rivers rn part 2

your daughter tags along on tours, especially because it's very important for Tom and she loves it (idk if I already said this but oh well lmfaoo)

I have a feeling almost all her friends have a crush on Tom (i know i would 😋)

Tom is such a basic dad istg, he does bbq every sunday

if y'all ever become parents a second time then he would definitely have a happier reaction than the first one, yet he would be scared to take care of two little creatures~

his fans always ask about her during meet and greets and give her little presents, which he appreciates a lot

your daughter is pretty much popular in the entire fanbase you guys have and is considered a "lucky charm" from the band

Tom would give her the longest and most comforting hugs known to mankind

he'd make her a memory book with Bill 😭

and he'd give her some old goodies of his!

like some of his old clothes, hats, glasses etc..

overall he's the best dad and UGHHFHSJENF I cry just thinking about him not having any biological children :(

i hope you enjoyed this !! 💕 (also i apologize for any spelling mistakes but your girl over here is too lazy to re-read 🤪 love y'aaaallll)

[curtain-caller]

So I'm looking forward to seeing all the interpretations and headcanons people make for The Lucky Contestant (who I will also join in calling them "Lucky"), but I'm curious... Okay, raise of hands, who else here also pictures Lucky as a crafty, greedy, overconfident, sassy, morally bankrupt little shit (affectionate)? Or is that just me? Idk I just get those vibes from their choices in the game (elaboration below)

Like... the implications that they were combing through hundreds of boxes to get a tape to join the show??? That they were counting the boxes and keeping track??? The fact that the only way to escape at the start is to run PAST the giant fucking beast mauling another contestant instead of running AWAY from it??? Not to mention them leaving the other remaining contestants behind in doing so.

The fact they didn't hesitate when Deputy Duck pecked at them, fucking grabbing him by the neck and throwing him against the wall??? That screamed "I'm not fucking around, are you going to cooperate or not?" kind of energy. The way they barely move when they come across the Real Frankie in front of the monitors??? Like, I know you can't move during that segment probably so you don't just miss the cutscene, but in-universe, Lucky has ample opportunity to turn and fucking run, and we know damn well their fear response isn't freeze, it's flight.

Just. The entire noob noob section. I feel like they flinched one time during that and that was when they caught the first one, but only because the explosion caught them off guard. That slowed them down for 1 second, maximum. Hell, I've seen a few players laugh at that part, I feel like Lucky would too. The fact that there's no objectives to even try to escape Frankie's great value Parkour Civilization??? Like, in a game like this, I'd expect at one point for there to be an attempt to just escape the game entirely once shit hit the fan, only for the protagonist to realize the only way out is to begrudgingly play along and win. But nope. Lucky came here for the money, and they're getting that money. AND THE FACT THEY DO??? AND THEY'RE THE FIRST EVER ONE TO DO SO??? The way they just strut back into Frankie's office after their 57th near-death experience and look him right in the eye??? The whole ending segment where they go for another season??? It's not framed at all like they were forced to go again, because the Real Frankie just offered his hand out, and when we cut back, Lucky is casually looking at the ratings screen while standing on top of a pile of corpses. There are open gaps on the floor they can be standing on instead! But nope, just chilling on top of some dead bodies. Obviously we can't tell what their facial expressions are with the mask on, but they don't seem afraid or even all that tense about their situation either. To me, Lucky is the type of guy to go "I'm not gay, but 20 bucks is 20 bucks". Lucky is the type of guy to go "No, I'm taking the 5 million" only to sprint through that fucking door when Frankie whispers "Double or nothing". Lucky is the type of guy to walk past an old dead competitor and mutter "skill issue" under their breath. Lucky is the kind of guy to roll around in the glass money ball for enrichment like a hamster in a hamster ball. Lucky's the type of guy to keep going for season after season, for more and more money, until eventually they're not even doing it for the money anymore, relishing in the adrenaline rush and the glory instead. I just really love the idea that the reason why Lucky made it to the end so successfully was not only because of their skills and quick thinking, but because they also match Frankie's freak. Frankie was right: They need each other. They compliment each other. They enable each other in the worst ways possible. One wants to put the other through gradually more elaborate and deadly situations to increase ratings, and the other runs headfirst into those situations with the same energy as someone going cliff diving. It's like enrichment for them.

[sayyourprayers]

Why Will's resentment of El is not an in-show theme:

Diorama scene

Scene begins with El completely clueless about the school dynamics - eg. waving hi to someone who dgaf. She knows she isn't having a great time (hence lying to Mike) but at the same time she feels like THIS IS THE DAY when everything will change. Bruh if you haven't gotten the memo till a day before spring break maybe Hopper didn't call you stupid enough.

Talking about Hopper - presumed dead - presumed hawkins mall fire hero - subject of El's direyama, it wasn't Will's job to find a hero for El nor was it his responsibility to to suggest she make a projected presentation (his own project's a chart ffs). The shots of Will looking nervous and upset when El presents is for 2 reasons:

i) She followed Angela

ii) She followed Angela

It doesn't matter what your project is, your bullies aren't bullying you for quality control purposes. I guess people who think they can just intervene and stop bullying by their aura alone, truly have no idea how bullying works. Hopefully, for better understanding the material being analysed (to death), they do get to experience being at the receiving end of it, even if it's just a little.

As per El's own admission she chose the diorama as a visual aid - as she was allowed to. Idk if y'all expected Ms. My grammar's getting better also to do a verbose write-up or Ms. sheltered in the lab has got no one poor bby to just suddenly know and find heroic inspiration in famous personalities. What is it? Is she undersocialised and trapped or not? Analyse that.

2. Post presentation

Will tries to assuage El that her presentation wasn't that bad (not a lie that it was great but it truly wasn't the worst) But Ms. friends don't lie won't listen to him. (omg willel wonder twins friends). Sidenote: how was Will gonna tell her that her project was "not what she should have made"? I am guessing the lines would be similar to Angela's and El's response would be similar to El's. Anywho. I'm not spending more time analysing this scene that was clearly meant to establish that El's lying in her letter to Mike and she's not really having a great time in California - which isn't just about the school and bullying btw but also (moreso) about her father's death and the loss of her powers (shown by the scene of her walking away merging into a depressed max doing the emo walk to the chart topping kate bush song: nordic walking really fast up a cliff.) But let's forget all that on-screen text for fanfic hit pieces.

3. Die a rammer

Before El's homage to Hopper meets the wrath of Devila there's a small scene (bby scene tiny as hell uwu) of El receiving her maths tests results. And they were F-ing bad. Another scene to establish how much creative writing went into El's letters to Mike. Will should have tutored her though, I agree. The least he could have done for the girl that got him kidnapped and then saved him from the kidnapper - but was it really saving if he's forever changed? Not important: this is about establishing Will's guilt and El obviously has none.

Anyway, El is minding her business and California dreamin' but Angela and the minions trip her up and methodically destroy her diorama. It doesn't help that an enraged El tries to telekinekick Angela's ass, but as we all know (and now re-know) she has lost her powers and is sad and frustrated about it.

Now some brilliant scientific minds of our generation wanted Will to step into that shit show and (and what?) defend El? The guy that famously freezes? The guy who loaded up a gun in 3.5 seconds but froze up and didn't use it on a literal monster with a monsterface? The same guy who has NO POWERS (would be copying El) and has been bullied throughout his life, not only in school by his peers but even whole ass adults. They called him slurs, egged on by none other than his own Papa. So the great analysts with zero experience in bullying and less than basic level of empathy towards bullied people, wanted Will to shatter his little never seen before peaceful Cali existence to save El after the fact? Yes, Zombie boy go save your social pariah wonder woman channeling sister friend. The fact is, he NEVER abandoned her, but he also didn't have enough social standing at school to prevent El from getting bullied. (A point missed in all analyses.)

He was upset and worried and headed over to console El, not in secret no no, out in the open. He is not a fighter. He has never stood up to his own bullies. He's only "sassy" with his friends and family, people he's close to and feels safe with (a feeling he associates with El too, as seen in his "sassiness" with her, but that's for later.)

Poor El had to be rescued by the teacher herself. No other person in that entire school that was present did anything even remotely expressing sympathy - no they were all laughing at her. Only the teacher and Will were in her corner. So much for resentment.

4. Rink O Maniacs

Let's begin with the airport waiting area: Two happy Byers pookies (yes even I have to concede that El was a pookie here) waiting for their incelebrity crush/love - disappointed almost immediately by the scrotoid they fancy cuz they've not discovered feminism yet.

El has the whole day planned, Will is there around them cuz I guess he's too young to be hotboxing with (a concerned and all-knowing) Jonathan and my man Argyle. I mean they could've bonded over being stressed out over not their girlfriends.

Instead though, Angela and the aerobics class decided to eff up El's planned dayte. Angela on being called El--er--Jane's friend grabs her and heads over to the rink. Will knows El's lying, but was he supposed to idk just blurt it out with all that audience? What was he supposed to do? Was he supposed to pre-empt the attack (either) in a crowded place? He wasn't physically gonna stop anyone, let's be real. If Angela would have picked on him, he'd be the one on the rink dressed in milkshake. So let's not pretend it's a reaction unique to seeing El in distress. No that's his response to BEING DISTRESSED - which he was, seeing his sisterfriend whom he likes and doesn't resent (apart from her being the love of Mike's life) in trouble.

Mike goes "above and beyond" i.e. reacts the way y'all would've loved Will to react (but it's not his gene type). Will however is worried and the one that alerts Mike once he realises, things are no longer gonna go anywhere but down under. He finally, reluctantly, but for his sisterfriend El, tells Mike about her problems, or that she's having them. Mike also can hear what's being announced for all the rink (a dedication to Jane the snitch) and coupled with what Will's told him reacts fast and tries (the operative here, he failed too) to stop the show.

Acting prowess aside, Mike and Will are both shocked and worried by El's "wipeout" in a crowded rink where it seems nobody likes her. Mike calls out to El who runs away hurt and embarrassed n not in the mood to answer him.

Now, they BOTH look for El, and MIKE the cunt thinks it's a great time to have a one on one with Will, about him "sabotaging" the day. (I still don't know how he did that, since M11 were pretty much enjoying the date till Angela appeared). The stupid gay fight happens, whatever man, idgaf.

El straightening up in the staff closet hears Angela and the pussycats (and not stupid byler) laughing (most likely at her) and decides, powers or no powers, Angela's gonna feel it tonight. The iconic Angela facelift happens after El's appeals to salvage the day and protect her lies are dismissed. Mike and Will are both again there to give loud reactions and Mike manages to be a moid even in that situation and questions El's overreaction (he at least truly believes that, unlike Will who is ready to lie to the cops abt it being an accident, lol) (Also, a quick mention Mike doesn't remind her of Brenner, Mike's the final straw that takes her back to the lab, she's already feeling weirded out by the blood and the people surrounding her, but ya whatever.)

Commentary:

Will asking El about why she's lying to Mike, isn't just him caring about Mike being lied to over El's well-being. If one's to engage a third braincell, one would notice that Will, too, found out about El's lies that day itself. He realised cuz he lives with his sisterfriend and is with her at school and at not school and so knows whatever she's saying and Mike's recalling from the letters has more imagination put into it than his painting. Will is annoyed at El and Mike (El - cuz he says it, Mike - cuz Mike says it) for being made a third wheel and also being greeted awkwardly (let's not forget he literally didn't gift Mike the painting which he painstakingly made cuz of Mike's weirdo behaviour.) That's not resentment, that's plain annoyance - an emotion Will has shown multiple times over the course of 4 seasons. His emotions don't only exist in the context of El and Mike's existence - you may ask Jonathan and Joyce, if you don't believe me.

It's hard for some people to read Will's character as anything other than a lovesick fool or brother of the main character, and their analysis reeks of this. Let's not forget, unlike Mike Wheeler, Will actually has his OWN stake in the supernatural/sci-fi/horror/superhero plot. Mike is the romantic lead. Will and El have their own journeys and stories both including and completely independent of each other and Mike.

Will not showing El the painting, is more a testament to his enduring feelings for Mike and the post-puberty clarity of romantic/sexual attraction vs puppy love. El didn't show Will her letters to Mike either. (And I am not saying she should have.) Will is not in the text to serve El. In fact, Max herself got promoted from that job. Just slapping on Vecna preys on this juicy shit - doesn't make it true. I am not saying Will and El are perfect siblings, but they're close to it and the show wants us to believe that. (You may take this as a contribution to DBros/MissedOpporunities OTP fanwork)

Will's resentment of El is the jealousy from romantic (not even) rivalry, but it is a very small part of their relationship. He could and should have been more pissy about having the girl who (even accidentally) upended his life just being his new sister now (mike or no mike) but that's not what Will is as a person. Will's jealousy of El is also something he takes out on Mike and NEVER on El.

Maybe there's such a thing as re-watching the show too many times. Y'all jumbling up character names. Y'all need to be peer reviewed.