#idk if girl mike is very girl but i also didnt want her to be very girl like i dont think mike if he was a girl would be a girly girl

[manpleblog]

les,,,bvyskle lesbylser lesbtvler... cool i think ithey are cool,..,....

[roachemoji]

Stranger Things Season 4 Thread!!!!!!!! 04 01

theres NO realistic way in hell some kid was chucking that shit every damn day and making it !!!!!!!!! bro would have smacked someone in the fucking FACE by now!!!!!

starting off with a freak ass routine gotcha gotcha gotcha !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

aGAGGLE OF BALD CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its been. 4 minutes and im already so uncomfortable with how they hold the kids hands to lead them around lmao

Brenner cant draw for SHIT girl if that was me id tell him i dont know bc its fucking UGLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH. HES RIGHT.

GOD hes. i hate hate hate hate hate hate his fucking face it makes me so uncomfortable.

GIRL HELLO !!!!!!!!! DAMN LMAO

EXPLODES THEM EXPLODESTHEM EXPLODES THEM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the TONE shift from the last season is really getting to me girlie like that last one didnt feel REAL and this one feels VERY present. even with the rainbow visuals in the room?

OUGHH GOD HES SO UNCOMFORTABLE.

HIS EXPRESSIONS ARE SO ???? HIS GASP SEEING A DEAD KID??? IDK HOW TO PLACE IT.

damn girlie what did you do !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EL'S !!!! FUCKING AUTISM ACCENT? LOVE HER. LOVE HER.

ARGYLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GODIM SO EXCITED TO MEET HIM !!!!!

I CANT PUT INTO WORDSS HOW MUCH I LOVE THE TONE SHIFT AND THEM BEING OLDER AND EL'S LETTER TO MIKE BEING !!!! SO.

THEYRE ALL SO BIG NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KAREN LOOKS SO CUTE AND TED? KILLS HIM.

SUZZIIEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND DUSTIN <3333333 THEYRE SO CUTE

STEVE AND ROBIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PEOOPLE WHO LIKE BOOBIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK ING STE VE. BI MEN AND THEIR LESBIAN BESTIES ???

MAX IS NOT BEATING THE TRANS MASC ALLEGATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT NOW NOT EVER NOT IN MY HEART

UCAS LOOK SO FU CKING GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! HIS HAIIRRRRRR

WHO TH FUCK IS THIS ARCHIE LOOKING WHITE MAN ?????

THEIR PANTS ARE TEAR AWAY ? I GUESS THOSE HAVE A FUCKING USE .... WHEN IT COMES TO SPORTS ? BUT STILL KAJDSHKJHADS IM FU CKING KAJHDKJAHSD. THEY DIDNT DIE SO WE WOULD LOOSE AT BASKETBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHUT UP

Lucas is making a good ass point butalso im so sorry he doesnt wanna be a loser nerd freak anymore :pensive:

the fu cCKING RUSSIANS LAKJSHDAKSJHDKJ HDAMN GIRLIE HOLY SHIT BE CAREFUL ? EW. EW? WHOSE THE LITTLE WHITE WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH ELL BABY YOU GOT THIS. YOU GOT THIS!!!! GO AUTISM GIRLIE!!!!!!!!

IM GONNA KILL. EVERYONE IN THAT ROOM. !! PLEASE LET HER JUST. OUGHHGH GODD. WILL TEARING UP TOO. FUCKING EXPLODE HER!!!!!! EXPLODE THAT FUCKING. BITCH HOLY SHIT ?

WILL IS.

MAX ?? QUEER WHATS WITH THE... GREEN SCRUNCHIE?? THAT THE OTHER GIRLIES HAVE

LUCAS approaching Max who... is the only one who is like ? LOUDLY suffering with shit after watching Billy die and be traumatized vs the core group not NOT being traumatized but handling it VERY DIFFERENTLY ? like they always "bounced back" and Max isn't

o h JESUS WHAT THE FUCK HELLO ?????? bro aksjdhkasjhakhkKJHDFKJSDHFKJH DAMN I WOULD NOT HAVE LEFT THAT BATHROOM HELLO WHAT THE FUCK

Eddie doesnt SOUND like i thought he would ???? AKDHAKDJH i forgot about the hanky code my mans wearing

dustiinnNNSFNKJKSJH DUSTIN. AKJSDH!!!!!! MIKE'S FACE.

Eddie's vibe is. AKHASKDJASHD like my ex boyfriend from highschool

MURRYYYY !!! MISSED HIM. LOVE HIM. RIP ALEXEI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

she has nIPPLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARGYLE AKSJHDKASJH!!!!!!!!!! MOPEY DICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NANCY LOOKS SO CUTE!!!

ARGYLE CALLING HIM A FUCKING GOOD BOY KJHSDKAHADSKJHADSKJH YELLING

im sorry literally N OON wants to play DnD you just have to find the gay people !!!!!!!!!!!!!! (40 years from now)

Out h ere being Mentally ill in da Woods as you do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what gay ass drugs are we selling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh hes DRAMATIC fucking theater kid. that man's NOT STRAIGHT !!!! and also defenitely has ADHD. chewing on his fucking HAIR !!! stimming i see u !!

EL BABY GIRL IM SO SORRY I WAN T TO EXPLODE THE WORLD FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT TO KILL FOR HER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOY SHIT . MAKE THEM PISS THEIR PANTS GIRL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OO OoOOO H BABAKJSHD I FORGOT HER POW ERS ARENT ,,, WO RK ING,,, ABY IM,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, THIS IS FUCKING PAINFUL.

tHE focus not having been on Will the entire time except for a snippet here and there is REALLY NICE ACTUALLY likE!!! IDK BUT IT IS. TTHAT MANS FIGURING OUT HES QUEER TOO

MURRY JADKASLASKLJSADKJ !!!! MY MAN ABSOLUTEL LOSING HIS MIND

sTEVE IM AKSDJHS SORRY GIRLIE LMAOOOOOO fuc kinggGGGG TAMMMYYYYY AKSDJAKDHAKJSDHKAJSHD ROBINNN GIRLIEE IM SO FUCKING SORRRYY. JDKLKJDLKJFDSJLKDF I WA NNA FUCKING.

ERICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BABY GIRL IS BACKKKK YEAHHHH FUCKING LOVE HER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND HER HAIIIRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CANT WAIT FOR HER TO DESTROY EDDIE

DESTROY HIM DESTROY HIM DESTROY HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the fucking mountain dew cansssss his DM set up is so good

I JUST LOVE HOW DND IS USED AS FORESHADOWING BABEY !!!

Dusstin and Erica working together like THIS IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UGH. love u lady applejack <33333

FUCKING GET IT ERICA!!!! LUCAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASSSEEEEEEEEE

YYYEAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i thOUGHT he was tlking to like a lizard and not a guitar AKSJD

IS Chrissy just experiencing like a psychotic break ?? delusions??? I cant tell if its like. ACTUALLY happening to her or something to do with the UD ? Dissociative seizures????? DISSOCIATIVE SEIZURES AND THE UD ?????

FEEL LIKE ALL THE SPIDER VISUALS AND SHIT ARE IMPORTANT AND I JUST DONT KNOW HOW YET !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH IS THIS VECNA ? SIR !! YOURE. WET :/

BRO HELLO WHAT

KING WHAT DOES THAT M EAN

ASDASKJHD KASHDKASJH SORRY TO EDDIE WHO THOUGH YEAHHH A FRIEND :3c

GIRL WAHT THE FUCK EXORCIST SHIT HOLY HSHKJASJK LSHAJKHAD HE RE YEB ALLS!!!!!!!!! BROOOO AKSJDHKASHDKASHD

yeah so season 3 was. liike. different and now ? we're back at it!!!! we're back at it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSRRIGH alright

ending with a half song again no lyrics inchresting

[scover-va]

I need to know more about Michael's mom... Is she a cool mom?

SHE IS A VERY COOL MOM janet afton you will always be famous. to me

Im taking this as a chance to finally ramble abt her anyways so Janet's core inspo when designing her was to avoid 2 key things. Don't make her like Immortal & Th Restless's Clara (due to clara representing michael, not mrs afton, so i wanted to avoid that), and don't base her too heavily off of Ballora. I still have ties to Ballora's character (a music-based theme, blue-centric colour palette, im sure there were more basic ideas but everything else is more hc than themes to keep up) due to my hc thingy of each Funtime having ties to William's wife + kids, but yknow.

But yeah. Funky lady who played bass guitar + did backup vocals in a band during her high school and college years. Literally her and William dating can be summed up by "Seriously, what do you see in that guy?!" "He makes me laugh." bc she was and is WAY out of his goddamn league. Not just bc of the whole serial killer thing he was just an even bigger loser in college. Normal people dont develop a crush on a woman after she nearly breaks your nose and makes you bleed, William /j

But yeah uhh. I also dont like the idea of her being absent or neglectful purely because I got way too attached to her (i was originally gonna do that just to make things easy for myself but. Pretty lady,,, I am a very simple lesbian what can i say) so like. She obviously wasnt the greatest, most fantastic mom to ever exist given she was kinda maybe sorta well aware William was making some weird fucking clowns, but like. Hey. She tried. Also side note my reasoning for her being absent during the whole. Yknow. '83 event (and just evan's bday in general) is bc Evan + Elizabeth are twins and Elizabeth demanded a girls-only trip for her bday, and Janet promised Evan she'd do something just as special for him when she got back. That never happened bc he died lmao loser /j

But yeah uhh. Shes got a lot of regrets. Wishes she coulda done a lot of things better. Kinda dies with those regrets. Ive seen people say that one of fnaf's charms is that no character is 100% good and i LOVE that, and wanted to keep it up with Janet. Good mom and overall a good person, however made some bad decisions along the way and whatnot.

Im still working out specifics (ive been slowly working on a lil private fic abt her and william meeting + their early relationship) but uhhh. Minor notes that dont get their own paragraphs is that William sampled her voice for Ballora so yay easy voice claim, she had an on and off relationship with her band's lead singer (her name's Bev), her birth name is actually Janice Schmidt but if you call her Janice she'll knock at least 2 of ur teeth out, she's a runaway teen and got adopted by this older couple bc her home life kinda sucked (idk specifics yet), and also girlie has an extensive criminal record of minor angsty teen type charges. Also teen Mike dying his hair and then 2020's Michael's hairstyle are both kinda references to Janet's hair because he wnated to look less like his father. Thats all ty. No read more bc you WILL look at my mrs afton post, boy /j

Actually no theres more that im remembering as i write the tags and edit a few details. Back to her and William because god im insane about them. So for starters it. Well i was gonna say Janet was def the first to flirt but i think William definitely developed a crush first and they only kept talking bc of said crush so its kinda up for debate. Anyways yeah at first it was a HUGE sorta like "Well he's funny especially when I fluster him so this can be just a fun lil thing" but because they chatted more they def kinda like. Clicked more. William was a huge fan of listening to her music (from. a distance. he looked kinda like a creep but at least janet only misinterpreted it once) but like *specifically* janet he didnt give a fucking shit abt the rest of the band. Uhh. They had their first run-in and janet kinda. Well. Punched him in the nose before he cleared up that he is NOT a pervert or anything weird like that (bc a guy that looks older than he is staring from a distance when there is a clear crowd he could join kinda gave janet the Wrong idea), then they later bumped into each other in the hall and chatted for a bit, then they kinda just kept "accidentally" running into one another. Uhhh. Some cigaerette-themed flirting and a house party later, yay dating :] can you tell where the current cut-off of the fic is /j Also idk how to put this down properly but they are both runaways and can kinda. Get that vibe from one another. Literally Michael is like some fucked up abomination of the both of them between the troubled past + weird situationship thing + runaway stuff + a lot of minor details that arent important rn. I just. Yeah Janet means the world to me go thru her tag on my blog for some art. Not all of my janet art is posted but the non-posted stuff is all concept work/doodles or just. Shit im too embarrassed to post lmao. Anyways NOW im done ty for reading

[hearts401]

ykw fuck it. werewolf au rambles be upon ye. a retelling of how the werewolf bite of 83 went:

First of all, William saw lots of potential in Michael when he was young. he was the biggest and much stronger than his siblings, and he could transform more easily. however, he had less... impulse control.

He didn't remember everything he did as a wolf, and didn't have as much control over his instincts. Pair that with his uncontrolled loathing of his little brother and... well...

lets just say that when you leave three little mentally ill young freaked out dogs in a room locked up alone together after witnessing something horrific and traumatic (specificall mike saw smth awful. idk if i wanna reveal it yet but. mlem. he saw smth scary) it doesnt end well. and William egging him on didnt help. he insisted that if michael hated evan, he should get rid of him. only the strong survive. he egged him on and on and michael reacted based on instinct

Michael hardly remembers what happened, but he knows he woke up covered in blood and his father asked him where his little brother was. and he didnt know, but he could assume. he never knew william was the cause.

he was never nice to evan btw he was still abusive. and a lot of that bled onto liz after evans death, so he ended up isolated a lot. william didnt care what happened to evan, but he knew michael was useful adn elizabeth could prove to be. he didnt want his precious daughter getting hurt.

william takes michael out to help him under the reasoning that hes already a murderer, he might as well help out his dear old dad. its not awful, you're a wolf, you do wolf things, this is in your blood and cannot be changed!

one day mike does get away from will for a second. he gets hurt and turns back and meets charlie, who helps him out. she doesnt ask where hes from, he insists on not telling henry about it. he doesnt trust him.

but he goes back to william because thats his dad. and he has to, yk? but charlie thinks about him a lot. And vanessa later stumbles across them in the basement, telling herself thats normal, wills probably putting them there so theyre safe from him. before henry tells her williams never had kids. His wife died in a crash before they could

so it must have been fake, right? but the children in front of her are very real, and so are the claw marks on the walls and the little girl's cuts and scraps clearly given to her by her brother, who is also scratched up.

and suddenly William's stories aren't adding up.

and of course everything gets more complicated when michael is missing.

[inutaffy]

guys my power is oit so i dont have wifi and you try to navigate tumblr without wifi its unbearable so instead i will jsut talk ab the books ive read ummmmmm i read aristotle & dante discover the secrets of the universe and that book was a 10/10 it was introspective and coming of age and messy and talked about feelings in a interestinf way. and did remind me of will and mike a little bit😭 i heard it got a sequel im not readin that probably😭 ERRRMMM i read loveless, its a sapphic book, its kinda boring though tbh. its about this girl who meets her girlfriend and theyre like a perfect match for each other and theyre planning and theyre so in love and then the main character dies on new years ans becomes a reaper, and shes trying to deal with that. and reapers arent supposed to see people they used to know so they stay out of thr areas they lived in, but she saw her girlfriend poppy by her grave and well. shes dead and poppy doesnt beliebe that, and its a whole thing anyway peope die when they see grim reapers and so poppy takes charons boat and then at the end of the year the mc gets the chance to join her and the book is kinda left in a weird spot idk it wasnt a great read but i was grounded in may for like almost a week and was crying all weekend bc i couldnt see my bf and i read it in a day. its kinda empty theres no real substance to it so like a 5/10. annnddd i read they both die at the end that was like a 7/10. its not bad but i see why people didnt like it. its okayyyyy. romance coulda been built up more if thats the way they really wanted it. bc it felt like we were dancing around it the whole time. and uhhh im reading one rn for my AP Lit class and its ab a shipwreck its called the stranger in the lifeboat and this guy comes aboard 3 days after the yacht sank and claims to be god and everyone has to believe in him in order for them to get out alive. im not thay far into it i gotta lock in. im also reading mexican gothic for lit and a graphic novel called sunbeam. if you like lesbian scifi that is for you🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️ its not bad its a very... quiet book? its mostly visuals tbh. it has interesting lore and well developed characters i like it but its not like action packed its very reserved and somber in my opinion.

[charlie-artlie]

just got back from the fnaf movie, i really need to go to bed but i have to get some thoughts out NOW 🫠

positives

movey good C:

matthew lillard was just so so good god bless

the animatronics were amazing, i really wasn’t expecting the scene where they all played and had fun together????? it was such wish fulfillment i was just sitting there like is this real

(on that note HEY. someone had better gif that fronnie scene were theyre just playing and dancing together. 👉 get on it giffers)

maybe controversial but i liked the matpat and coryxkenshin cameos a lot they were funny and didnt detract from the flow too much

the jumpscares were not terribly hacky like i thought theyd be, and the balloon boy one was really good 👏

also IM NOT CRAZY THAT WAS A CIRCUS BABY REFERENCE RIGHT??? AAAAAAAAAA

all of the parts and service room was so cool tbh, all of the creepy old endos and parts, the little fetch easter egg, all of it so so good

the easter eggs in general were really fun, im looking forward to watching this movie be micro analyzed for years to come

the springlock scene 🤌 cinema…..

that scene were william roundhouse kicks mike is just like. so amazing. this is going on the positives. i cant believe they did that. what an amazing movie.

in general the lighting and sound design were very nice (i mean as a layperson i thought they were nice idk XD)

THE SONG WAS IN IT THEY DID THE FUCKING THING 😭👏

negatives

no puppet?

i feel like this story suffers from the same issue TSE has, where by straying from the games canon you’ve actually made things so much more complicated? while some things definitely made sense (vanessa being williams daughter was a nice touch and made sense for both characters fight me, also a great nod to how shes mind controlled in game canon) others feel like they just made things more complicated? like, why was garrett just a random kid in a random campsite? why was william there, why did he kill him, why do the ghost kids know him? i guess you could say, if there is a reason, it will be revealed in a later movie? but thats so many unnecessary steps when all you had to do was have garret go missing from a freddys location (like in TSE). like, mikes brothers disappearance is linked to freddys, thats why he needs to work there, you could save a lot of time aunt jane ate up. speaking of.

its such a hilarious plot hole that they just totally move past aunt janes death. like this guy is fighting tooth and nail for custody of his sister against his aunt and she shows up dead at his house and nobody is suspicious or cares. also he shows up at the hospital with a stabbed cop who’s apparently in a coma and cant verify his story at all?? the plot armor on this man!!

i realize they needed to put abby in danger at some point or else why would she even be here, but having the ghost kids want to ghostify her doesnt make a whole lotta sense >_> like they kept saying william was confusing them but they never really showed that, golden freddys spirit kid seemed pretty aware of the situation the entire time.

that one jumpscare with the kid with black goopy eyes was pretty silly lmao. feel like they could have captured the creepypasta vibe better

this is semi positive and negative, but i really really liked vanessa’s creepiness i just wish theyd leaned into it a bit more? that scene where shes staring lovingly up at the animatronics and then asks mike to dance is just so 👌 like girl what is wrong with you fr 🥰 but then her behaviors dont make much sense after that, i was a bit confused as to when she was supposed to be trying to get mike to stay and when she was supposed to be warning him away.

the writing in general was definitely a bit weird ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ eh

sorry if my negatives seem like bummers, but i really enjoy picking apart movies i like, and i tend to like things more when there is stuff to pick apart! (sensory fandom experience…..) in general i really enjoyed the movie and i think most fnaf fans will! it’s fun cheesy horror that has a lot of love for the source material without trying to BE it, which wouldn’t be possible anyway

man theres definitely other things i could say but i really have to go to sleep now 😭 gn!!!

[castlebyersafterdark]

Especially as a gay guy who with no hesitation crushed on so many straight male celebs without an ounce of whatever the hell this girl's mindset was. They're never going to meet you, let alone propose marriage!!

wow that story about your friend was so interesting! i imagine such a formative part of growing up queer is these 'hopeless' crushes, so why does her (straight) scenario hinge on whether they could actually be together? its as though her fantasy hinged on a glimmer of possibility. on hope. hmmm.

i think when we play pretend, even as kids, there's this impossibly simultaneous belief of two opposite things: that its both real and not real. the key is that they are balanced and both true somehow - so i could daydream about billie joe armstrong from this one magazine poster pasted on my bedroom wall for years but i def knew i wouldnt and probs didnt even want to meet him! i mean, i was like 13 and he was an adult, which kids now are freaking out about, but i didnt think twice about crushing on him because i wasnt hoping to meet or actually marry him lol.

but i guess today with social media where we can glimpse these people's lives, our fantasies become more 'possible' and the real-not real balance gets thrown out of whack. honestly i think it either spoils the fantasy (oh no theyre human after all) or it makes people believe they could actually be friends with celebs (because theyre human! yay!)... and like, yeah, technically, but when i see people saying 'i just need to meet them and we'd be besties' it always makes me cringe, because parasocial relationships make people forget that relationships really really are two-sided. and your fav celeb might just not... like you that much. or they might just be a bit boring irl for more than the length of a tiktok video lol.

idk, i've worked in jobs where i've met a fair share of celebs i admire from many different fields, and its amazing, the difference between idea of them and the presence they have in person. after that i decided i didnt like to meet my heroes because the imbalance felt so weird to me.

so maybe your friend knowing this guy was gay, it ruined her balance of real-not real make believe. whereas i assume you, knowing you were having gay crushes on straight dudes from a young age (</3), probably had this self awareness and so your fantasies hinged on something other than possibility. did you also like any celebs who were rumoured about, like prince or bowie? as i recall there was some ambiguous sexuality in the 00s alt scene, but who knows how much was for show? (mcr springs to mind)

Yeah, I definitely think it's very common across the board for a lot of people that once something interferes with their fantasy, it just breaks them a little. Which I always just find so odd because celebrity crushes are so far from reality so why does it matter so much?? Absolutely different if it's someone you know irl, you're into them, and then you either find out they have a SO, they're not sexually compatible, or they just... don't want you haha. Add a very thick layer of 'they'll never want you' to celebrities because while yes, famous people do get with non famous people, you crushing on someone famous as you go about your day to day normal life is a lot different than a random encounter that is so rare it's not even worth mentioning as logic to this situation. People get upset when they find out the celeb they like is dating someone. Or they come out. Or whatever. The make-believe really warps some people. (This could be a whole discussion on the rabid Mlvn fan issue, as a meltdown on the verge due to their ship sinking and their ideal fantasy world centered on Mike/El crumbling down, breaking their brains)

For example, I've made it pretty clear I have a big gay embarrassing crush on Finn. What does it matter though haha I will never meet that man. Don't want to, and I'm also very happy and smitten and secure in my personal life. It's just normal human attraction. Talent and being hot is appealing. I'm just a random fan. Same as everyone else! I could talk for hours about the parasocial epidemic but you said enough so I'll let that one sit. Also, I don't think I'd like him less if it turns out he's straight. Still follow his career. Still think he's fine as hell. I'll just probably like him more if he's on this side. That's my honest take.

And totally sad for kids that their peers and people older than them are promoting this thought-crime culture that it's weird or wrong to fantasize about other people, especially those older. That's just life!! It doesn't mean anything. It's admiration, it's aspirational, it's learning about yourself.

And to your last point, I can't remember all my crushes when I was young, mostly actors in shows or movies rather than musicians. Bowie and Prince would have been too old for me to even give a second thought about haha but I'm sure they were so validating for people a little further back, unless this just meant like them. I mean there were celebs that were out or who were rumored of course, but the biggest one I can think of was Lee Pace, esp during the height of the Hobbit filming. I was really into those movies in high school. He had rumors, which turned out to be true! So, there's an example that worked out actually.

This is kinda embarrassing now but my dream man growing up was Shaun White. Memory lane stuff right there, goddddd 🫣🤣

[r34listic]

So i have a friend (lets call her tessa). Tessa and i are classmates. She joined our school last year and was the new student. I told her she can sit next to me in all classes and like just join my friendgroup cuz she didnt knew anyone. We became very good friends and we had the same kinda of humour etc. Since she is part of our friendgroup now, she is friends with my friends. Obv. And she came very close to (lets say Kira). Kira and Tessa did a school exchange together. I wanted to join but my parents didnt allow me so yeah. After that one week of school exchange kira and tessa came back to our country and were hanging out together all the time. I understand that they are good together but you could at least say hello, right? Kira was very sweet and gave me a hug and told me everything about the exchange. Tessa was just there.

So Tessa and Kira met new people like (fake names) Lucy, Mia, Mike... many people. And they were talking about them all the time. Especially about the boys. And if you ask them "isnt that the guy from the exchange?" Tessa would be like "you dont even know him, so what do you wanna say anyway". Like i was just asking? Cmon now i dont feel like standing there and not knowing anything about the convo.

This kinda turn into a habit. So Kira and I are still close and i kinda fixed that thing between me and Tessa. New school year (now).

So the holidays were over and we came all back together. Tessa and Kira ignored me as usual. So i was hanging out with the other part of the group, jenny and livia. I had beef with livia cuz like, i just dont like her. But jenny is super sweet.

One day tessa suddenly came to me and told me about her dream she had in the holidays. It was about me "stealing" all of her friends. She said it jokingly but i could see how worried she was. You must know, Tessa has a lot of friends. Like, she knows everyone of the world and considers them as her friend. Idk. She also kinda blamed me for having not many friends. So i thought i might follow some people on instagram. There were many people who were suggested to me so i just followed them and they followed back. I dont have many friends. Maybe 2 or 3. Most of them are more just a company tbh. Like tessa, jenny, kira... just talking with them so school isnt boring.

Ofcourse tessa noticed that i followed some of her friends and she tried to embarrass me in a convo with other people. I didnt felt embarrassed and noone laughed so it didnt work. She was like "yeah why are you following kiras mum on insta" and i was like "girl what are you talking about stop being so delulu"... basically she often does that. Tryna embarrass me for my interests cuz she has no talents. Like girl? I have a tt account where i started to post stuff about how to have a glow up and jzst the girly stuff. It went pretty well and i gained 21.8 k followers. Thats a lot i think.

As i had my first 3k followers i told the friendgroup. They were very supportive and followed me and stuff. Tessa included. I was happy that everything went well. I thought.

So in the past days Tessa also tried to expose (not rlly the word) my account to others and was like "she has a tt account about glow up haha". Well girl then mention the 22k followers.

What i notice is that Tessa doesnt have any talents. I have some, i think. Im very good at drawing, learning new stuff, healthy clean girl living, writing stories, being creative, also very good at school, making transition edits... and tessa just had nothing. As much as i know. She plays tennis and volleyball. Thats it i guess.

Its pretty obv that she is just jealous and i knwo that from the beginning of this drama. I know she isnt worth my time so i wont let her suck my good energy.

[sammyloomis]

i’m curious what your general thoughts on the characters were? i found the main cast pretty likable on average tbh

ohhhHOHOHO well then ill have to make a cheeky list n talk about em all then :] ill go in order of appearence i guess (and yeah i ended up liking most of them! with a few nit picks here and there)

laura: i fucking love her oh my god, i was kind of surprised when i got to the end and found myself as into her character as i was. shes super cool, queen of costume changes, queen of being a rly cool werewolf, queen of having an eyepatch, queen of my heart

max: ohh my god this lad fghj i love him too, hes so..... Dopey idk how else to describe him. hes so casually hilarious idk if hes ever aware of it. he was super nice in my playthrough because i was nice to Him and i think he and laura are a great couple :'] drinks his respects women juice every day

jacob: he was living his jessice riley fantasy spending half the night in his underwear covered in blood. king of being in touch with his emotions, i loved that he cried so much and wasnt as much of the douche bag jock type (like he still Was a dick a fair few times, but im baby girlifying him)

kaitlyn: SHE DESERVED MORE SCREEN TIME WTF MAN like considering shes supposed to be the final girl to ryans final guy she didnt have NEARLY as much gameplay as him :[ which is such a shame because shes GREAT again super super cool, i Loved her and dylans friendship, the whole scrapyard scene was amazing and one of the best in the game imo

ryan: ohh ryan..... ryan ryan ryan. a friend said this yeaterday but he suffers from the mike munroe treatment where the game Clearly wants you to like him by having a lot of segments with him and in doing so it just made me kind of..... Not like him :[ i also felt like he was resistant to laura and the truth of what was goin on for Too Long, like at the point he should have realised the stakes he just Kept Going which was frustrating

dylan: i actually started of really not liking dylan fghj i thought he was kinda annoying :'] but he Defo grew on me once shit started going south. like once the very obviously a front started dropping he was much less of a pest fghjk AND like i said with kaitlyn, the scrapyard scene with those 2 was INCREDIBLE. also love that he asked for his hand to be cut off and then was like WHY DID YOU DO THAT!? D':

nick: hrhhhhh okay. nick. man nick you really fuckin got my goat huh?? just snatched it up like el chupacabra. he was so fucking BORING dude, and when he wasnt being boring he was being kind of a dick >:[ even before the bite. the campfire scene im sure is gonna make a lot of people dislike emma but i would like to point out that HE KISSES HER BACK. QUITE HAPPILY TOO. so yeah, not a big nick fan, but i dont Hate him, i think once he gets bitten its actually a pretty interesting downward spiral

abigail: ohhhh abi you sweet baby. she was very cute and very sweet and UNFORTUNATELY that meant.... she was a lil one note. but again she was SO under used it was so annoying!! it felt like she was just there as a narrative device for nick and once he was out of the picture she was kinda pushed to the back. the parts shes in, all she rly does is.... be there fghj and from what ive seen quite a few of her deaths are being killed by her friends once they turn into werewolves

emma: controversial queen. my thoughts on emma are Complicated, especially after the campfire thing, and a lot of the time she felt kind of uninterested in what was going on which, considering her character and how she talks about putting up a front a lot of the time, i can understand. all that being said, i still love her, i think shes interesting, and i WILL defend her because i know how people like to immediately jump on female characters who arent totally """nice"""..... oh also shes in love with abi so

[courtney-deserved-better]

my opinion on td finalists

spoiler alert, im not a fan of most

TDI: Owen & Gwen

uh I personally don’t like either of these guys for finalists. gwen did do a lot but there were so many times where she just acted so apathetic I was like why?? are you still here?? and as for owen... I didnt like him as a character for a Long Time and he's growing on me but he just doesnt seem like finale material

I think a duncan versus leshawna finale would've been super fun to watch. especially if they teamed up to take down heather in the semifinal. those two had such a fun dynamic, especially in the triathlon episode, that I think taking it to the finale would've been fantastic. also leshawna deserved to win that season and you cannot change my mind

TDA: Duncan & Beth

duncan, while not my first choice, I can see making it through to the finale this season. but beth?? no. im sorry but shes just too much of a side character and is canonically fake nice and annoys everyone else so it doesn’t really make sense

an interesting finale would’ve been duncan versus courtney considering how volatile their relationship was this season. however, bc courtney was kinda awful to duncan, I dont think she deserves to win this season. it would be cool if there was one ending where their votes tied and they made up and decided to split the money but that just feels too tame, both for a finale and for their dynamic

harold versus duncan could be interesting, but because duncan tends to bully harold, I dont think his win would be fair in this situation. I think lindsay versus harold would be the best, as this season is about lindsay learning to take charge and come up with strategies, and while he can be off-putting and occasionally condescending, I think harold has a lot of useful skills that could really flourish in the finale

TDWT: Heather & Alejandro

while I dont ship them at all, I truly dont think there could've been a more satisfying final two. we’ve had their rivalry build up from day one, they have a ton of good songs together, it really completes heather’s arc of antagonist to antihero to protagonist. heather winning is the best ending in my mind, but I like  alejandro winning too. the only problem I have with his ending is that it only happened because heather threw in the wrong dummy-- I think it would’ve been more clever for him to have switched them or something like that

ive been thinking about some other final twos that I think would be interesting, though unable to top the canon one imo. gwen versus courtney would be really cool because of the friends turned enemies thing-- I think it would be interesting for courtney to be put in danger and gwen has a choice of saving her or going for the money and she save courtney before apologizing again (maybe dumping duncan) and the two make up and split the money. 

though I don’t really enjoy either as characters mostly due to their writing, cody and sierra would be an interesting final two. maybe cody finally stands up to sierra, or sierra struggles with wanting to be the winner of total drama or helping the boy she likes win. it definitely wouldn't be as good as the canon two but there would be a lot of clashing dynamics at play that'd be fun to explore

TDROTI: Lightning & Cameron

admittedly, I don’t remember too much from this season, but it really felt like these two kind of coasted by. I never found lightning to be a particularly compelling character and thought it weird how he suddenly went from dumb jock to evil jock in the last episode or two. cameron really felt like he was just carried through the season, similarly to beth, though I dont have as much as an issue with him winning. I dont think it was a bad finale, per se, I just think if those were the final two they should've been written better from the start

seeing as how jo really played the game and went all in, I think she would’ve been a great finalist. it would’ve been interesting to see her versus (commando?) zoey though im not the biggest zoey fan. I think a jo versus lightning finale could actually work (or brick) though if there was a jo versus cameron finale, I couldn't see him logically winning bc jo would just destroy him

TDAS: Mike & Zoey

*BIG FUCKING INHALE* no. just no. im probably not gonna say anything that’s not already been said so ill keep it short. bland, mal writing bad, have someone who's been in the game for 3 previous seasons instead of  1 make it to the ALL STARS FINALE. jfc.

you know what would’ve been an interesting finale? gwen versus courtney. they both said they wanted to reach the final two with the other one, so maybe they do! maybe they start to struggle with their friendship because of courtney’s competitive streak! maybe one of their helpers is duncan and that causes strife between them! maybe they become enemies again and don’t make up until the finale! maybe they decide to split the money! idk! it would've had a hell of a  lot more flavor than what we got

TDPI: Shawn & Sky

I don’t really have an issue with either of these characters making it to the finale. they’re compelling, worked hard, and have distinct goals. I would’ve liked to see jasmine in the finale but I'd be cool replacing either one with her: jasmine and shawn having to compete against one another would be an interesting relationship hurdle and sky versus jasmine would've been cool because they’re both very athletic and it would’ve been the first f vs f total drama finale (we've had m vs f and m vs m but no all-girl finales...)

TDRR: Surfer Dudes & Police Cadets

Again, I don’t really have an issue with this finale. I really like how Sanders and MacArthur both work hard in their own ways and have to learn how to work together (MacArthur breaking Sanders’ arm and realizing that she can negatively affect her partner and also that Sanders is super tough was a GREAT arc). I know there’s been some contention about the Surfer Dudes being eliminated and then coming back so late in the game, but it made sense to me. They chose to lose because they felt that they owed it to Devin and Carrie, and that choice paid off when Devin and Carrie called in a replacement team. I doubt the surfers expected that to happen, they were just trying to be fair, but that kindness was rewarded in a big way which I think was sweet, especially  considering how much of a hot mess this show can be. 

I gotta say, this does kinda remind me of the TDI finale, with the villain (heather/ice dancers) getting eliminated third, and their rival (gwen/police cadets) making it to the finale with the fun guy (owen/surfer dudes). The reason I like the Surfer Dudes as finalists more than Owen is that I felt they put in more effort during challenges and had more of an arc (with Josee’s mind games ending up bonding them as a team after strife, choosing to be eliminated for the sake of fairness, etc). 

Speaking of Owen, it’s kind of ironic that if I had to replace a team in the finale, I would replace the surfer dudes with the reality tv pros. they’re my favorite team and I think it wouldve been great for them to really live up to their name. I think it also would've been funny for the ice dancers to be so focused on their rivalry with the cadets that the pros just completely go under their radar until its the final three and the ice dancers are like “oh crap they’re PROS why haven't we been trying to destroy them??”

I also wouldn't mind replacing the surfer dudes with the sisters. I know emma gets a lot of hate (mostly because of nemma which I only like platonically) but I actually like her as a character (when she wasn’t being obsessive) and I think she and kitty were a great team that had a good arc of learning to work together. I also think it would be really interesting because for the final three they would all have rivalries with one another: the police cadets and the ice dancers (obvious) the ice dancers and the sisters (josee messed with them in at least 2 challenges) and the sister and the police cadets (kitty and macarthur’s game/road rage was hilarious)

[roachemoji]

S2 02-03

Episode 2

LOVE A GOOD STRONG COLD OPEN

The way she navigates this space like she's been here a million times anddoesnt question it or look that afraid of disgusted by anything but is just afraid that .... her friends aren't actually with her???

dawning realization that OH im actually ALONE despite having said goodbye??? like she KNEW but she didnt KNOW and ughHHHGHGH

OH A GATE ??? im glad we get to see her actually leave the UD unlike SOMEONE!!!!!!!!!!!! im also glad she isnt stuck here for too long AND LEARNS SHE CAN OPEN THEM HERSELF!!!!!!!! unless she already knew that??? this doesnt feel like something she....didn't already understand she could do

also the VFX of like gross nasty flesh shit is REALLY cool

IMMEDIATELY GOING TO THE OLY HOUSE SHE KNEW !!!!! IS JUST AUGHHH i was abotu to say im surprised she didnt try to find Mike after this since Brenner died - FUCKING TED BITE BITE BITE BITE BITE BITE ATTACK

ShEs VeRy DaNgErOuS shes a BABY !!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF BREAKING THROUGH THAT WALL AND COMING BACK FROM THE UD WASN'T A EUPHAMISM FOR BIRTH IDK WHAT IS SORRY

Also knowing there are more kids than just El from the lab im gonna assume she isn't that woman's daughter??? Ik that woman's sister said she miscarried but im sure that was a cover and her kid actually WAS experiemented on - I just don't think it's El???

HOPPER GETTING TO BE A DAD AGAIN MAKES MY HEART SO FUCKING FULL!!!!! AND EL JUST WANTS TO GO TRICK OR TREATINNGGGGGGGG

Call back to the other Lab kid with the halloween masks or something

JUST LET HER TRICK OR TREATTT even if you did it.... in the woods, with the cabin ??? or in a town they've never been to ???

HES TEACHING HER WORDS AND SPELLING THEM OUT IM CRYING

sucker for a guy adopting a little girl why couldnt that have been ME (<- is a man)

JOYCE ALSO HAVING PTSD FROM EVERYTHING IS JUST GIRL I LOVE YOU KISS KISS KISS

I love that Will being able to draw keeps coming back and him actually being really good at it too???

HIS LITTLE FUCKING COSTUME AND HIS BOWL CUT

DUSTIN'S SMILE IS SO FUCKING INFFECTIOUS I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I LITERALLY FEEL CRAZY

LUCAS' LITTLE SISTERRRRR PLEASEEEE

oh the hAUNTING REALIZATION THAT NO ONE ELSE IS IN COSTUME !!!!!!!!!! I JUST AOUSDKAJSHDKJALHDKJH

The balance that this show has with the boys experiencing like actual real genuine trauma that affects them DEEPLY while also still experiencing the mortifying ordeal of being in elementary school ??? AND IT BEING PORTRAYED AS LIKE A KNOW SERIOUSLY UPSETTING TO THEM!!!! Theyre still KIDS and i love that they don't shy away from that with them

LUCAS AND DUSTIN HAVING THEIR LIL BOY CRUSHES ON MAX !!!! AND THEYRE SO RIGHT

idk anything about her but is she trans is she like. like are we clocking this am i the only one?? please i dont know her but in my heart first glance 🫵 egg

JOYCE AND HOPPER GETTING CLOSE BC OF WILL AND THE LAB IS JUST!!! oh i JUst noticed the bracelet i just I KNEW IT WAS COMING I DIDNT KNOW IT WOULD BE SO SOON

WERE THEY BESTIESSS are they gonna fall in love ??? Thats my mom and dad <3

Okay the technitian going in there confuses me because how is.... im assuming there was a time skip to him going outside instead of having to watch him navigate out of the lab's underground but aksdjhakjdsh still

From the time it took between the first dude going in to Joyce and Hopper going in.... ik it's been almost a year since they saved Will, and obviously we didnt see them exiting the lab after it all happened .... idk it feels like an INSANE jump in understanding and testing and safety protocols and shit have gone in to going into the UD with "minimal" gear (@ em does technilogical discrepencies play a part in the timeline stuff? because it feels like it does???)

I really like how they actually portray PTSD and trauma?? Dissociating??? Being Triggered??? how its not a one time thing and affects them continuously??? I hATE the whole pretend like nothing's wrong thing - not for the era this is set in obviously its just infuriating asdkjhaskh LOVE that its clear that it DOES NOT HELP iidk this show and mental health so far feel really good i like it

dUSTIN AND LUCASSS theyre trying so hard i love this for them sosososos mUCh like THEY FEEL LIKE !!! THEyre actual little boys flirting and IM CRYING IM JUST Dustin is so smart and hes so BLINDED BY BEING A LITTLE BOY IN LOVE ( <- DUSTIN'S BIGGEST FAN )

EL'S LITTLE FUCKING CURLLSSSSSSSS

AUTISTICALLY LEARNING HOW TO BE A FUCKING PERSON THROUGH TV SHOWS GIRL ME TOO!!!!!!!

SORRY TO THAT OLD MAN BUT EL IS SO RIGHT - AND THEN TO ALSO FEEL GUILT FROM IT IS SO IMPORTANT LIKE UNDERSTANDING HER NEED FOR SURVIVAL BUT HAVING SO MUCH REMORSE !!!!!!

This is a huge aside but the pumpkins remind me of a one shot story by the people who write Old God's of Appalachia (which you should listen to if you can its incredible) - ANYWAY the episode titled Bumper Crop !!!!!

IM ASSUMING THAT .... the crops dying have something to do with that thing they set up in the UD???

OKAY BILLY.

YEAH HE - oh i can feel him triggering some shit this season might be hard to get through but i am a TROOPER !!!!! with my own trauma GOD brothers suck so much what is his fucking DEAL!!!!!!!!!!!! not excited for that

GODDDD AND NOW THERES MOLDY ASS FOOD AND DYING SHIT THATS UGHHH AND MAGGOTS STOP STOP STOP STO SP EW i love. contamination i love it

BOB i love him so much his stupid vampire costume AND HIS FUCKED UP LIL TEETH AKSHDASKJH IM SORRY YOU DONT GET IT JOHNATHAN

Will's bowl cut makes me loose my mind girl its so SHARP!!!!!!!!!!!! ASDKSAKJHDKSJHD that shit is CRISP

Johnathan is also like. me <3

STEVE AND BILLY JUST LOOKING AT EACH OTHER IS SO FUCKING FUNNY why is Steve's h air so BIGGG girl how do you get it to look like that

BOB IS SO CUTE STOP STOP DO PEOPLE NOT LIKE HIM ??? HES DOING HIS BEST TO REASSURE AND SUPPORT HER AND !!!! LIKE HER SAYING ITS SILLY AND HIM PROMISING ITS NOT !!!!!!

like hE IS SO ??? Bob is THE SILLY !!!!

DUSTIN SUPPORTER <- also loves 3 musketeers

hOPPERRR IS GONNA BE LATE TO PICK UP EL FOR TRICK OR TREATING BABY GIRL IM SO SORRY hes not doing it on purpose he loves you so much he loves you theres just a FREAK in the corn fields

THAT LIL BABY COWBOYYYYYYY <333

YEAH SHITS RIGHT you PROMISED HER !!!

oh baby with the BEAR - i didnt pick up the rest of the morse code but im going to assume he's saying sorry

WAS HE JUST PUTTING ?? WAFFLES OUT THERE HOPING SHE WOULD FIND THEM LIKE HE HAD NO FUCKING IDEA ???

SAD LIL MIKE !!!! he misses El so much but like AKSJDH damn

OHHH OAHDAKJSHD KAHJOHHH i hate when hes thrown back into the UD like this i hate it tos much holy shit it AHHHGHAHDJK

Whats uh whats the uh the parallel between Will and El both yelling for Mike immediately after being thrown into the UD ??

NAD MIKE IMMEDIATELY WITHOUT HESITATION SUPPORTING WILL !!!!!!!!

Johnathan isnt even like a freak hes cleaned up so much he looks so good THE CAMERA FOCUSING ON BOTH NANCY *AND* STEVE

Steve Harrington has the biggest wettest brownest eyes he looks like a fucking baby cow what the acTUAl fuck does he know whats happening is he actually aware of anything I think he'd like to run errands and stick his head out a car window

OH IM ,,,, STEVEEE , I,,, KING I LOVE YOU BUT I THINK YOU SHOULD WORRY ABOUT GETTING HER HOME ACTUALLY

im so glad Johnathan is there and i hope he helps

I could have sword i just saw a parallel about them sitting like this in a later season being compared to Nancy and Johnathan in some scene i havent seen yet

anyway MIKE MAKING WILL FEEL SAFE ENOUGH TO BE HONEST ABOUT HIS EXPERIENCES because Will doesnt make him feel Weird /neg ??? and ASKING WHAT WILL THINKS HIS EXPERIENCES ARE and this being like half thanks to El too ??

To all my House MD homies this feels like its a uh Wilson dating Amber and House being upset about it only to have an epiphany that Wilson is essentially dating the famale verson of him. Feels a lil like that

we can go craZY TOGETHERR !!!!!!!!!!

JOhnathan taking her hoMMEEEEEE still in my little boat of Polyam them i hope thats not niche because i wanna i AN wt to see fanart and I want to read fics and

HOPPER BEING SO !!! STRESSED AND FUCKED UP ABOUT UPSETTING HER AND BREAKING A PROMISE LIKE HE JUST APOLOGIZING AND ,,, GUILT TRIPPING HER TO COME EAT CANDY

Static makes me have auditory halucinations and for some reason Its really cool to see them use it for this purpose

IDKY I THOUGHT WHEN HE'D LOOK UP HE'D BE LOOKING AT WILL !!!!!

DUSTIN PLEASE KEEP BEING THE ONLY SURVIVOR IN A HORROR MOVIE OUGH okay at least it didnt attack him akhd

---

Episode 3

DUSTIN'S MOM AND HER LITTLE CAT COSTUME AND HER LITTLE CAT SHE LOVES HER SON SO MUCH SHES GOD

Dustin i love you so much buddy but YOU GOT A LITTLE FREAK!!!!!!! oh thats me i look like that nvm i get it good night sweet little weirdo

3 musketeers enjoyer !!!! THATS gonna grow up to KILL someone real Water Horse over here!!! ALSO KING YOUR TURTLE???? YURTLE IS JUST OUT THERE HES GONNA GET COLD?????

IM SO GLAD WE GET TO SEE HOW HIM AND EL GOT TO BE WHAT THEY ARE !! LIKE !!! what the fuck posessed him to like start putting waffles in a BOX in the woods like AKSDJHALKJDH Im sorry but what if it wasnt El who took it ????

El being.... I don't know what term to use i understand that nonverbal isn't uh... accurate? I haven't seen anyone offering up another term in it's place so if you know one please let me know - but El being less verbal? Is important to me

IM SORRY SHE EXPLODED YOUR BREAKFAST THOUGH

THE BOBMOBILE!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE BOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DUSTIN IS SO UGH. HE LOVES LEARNING !!! HES SO FUCKING FUNNY also him SWEARING i love him so much i cant even put it into words

MR BALDO!!!!!

I love bob i love him so much if he does something bad or it turns out hes terrible im going to commit homicide (on the duffer brothers) HE IS SO ? LIKE WITH WILL ??? WITH JOYCE??? HES THE SILLY AND I LOVE HIM

OO HASDKHAS @aemiron-main SORRY IM TAGGING YOU FOR THIS PART LUCAS EXPLAINING TO MAX THAT THE BODY THEY FOUND WAS SUPER DECOMPOSED THE ONE THAT IN SEASON ONE WAS A FAKE BODY OF WILLS AND IK YOU MENTIONED THAT THE NEWSPAPER BEHIND HOPPER'S HEAD SAID THAT HE WAS TAKEN BY THE LAB OR SOMETHING I CAN'T REMEMBER VERBATIM - IS HE LYING TO HER BECAUSE HE KNOWS THE FAKE BODY THING SOUNDS INSANE OR IS THAT TRUE IN THIS TL??? HE EVEN KEEPS GOING TO EXPLAIN YOU CAN ASK ANYONE BUT I KNOW FOR A FACT PEOPLE SAW THE BODY AND KNEW IT WAS "WILL" EXCEPT FOR JOYCE AND HOPPER - SO WHO DIED. WHO DIED IN THIS TL. WHO WAS THE KID

the PROJECTOR bringing me back

DUSTIN MY BELOVED HIS FUCKING SMILE EVERY TIME

I CALLED IT ABOUT THE FUCKING LAB ITS DEFENITELY BC THEY HAVE SHIT SET UP AROUND IT!!!!!!

Hopper's plan being this all along ??? to like. help her? to make her feel safe? give her a home? LIKE HES. hes such a DAD IM GONNA CRY - who told him about the waffles i remember Mike mentioning it but i don't remember him mentioning it to Hopper????

girlie at least CLOSE THE DOOR B EHIND YOU ????

BILLY I S A HIGH SCH OO LER I THOUGHT HE WAS LIKE 25 LMAOO OASHKJAHLDKJAHSD

STEVE'S FREAK ASS HAIR !!!!

Thats your other boyfriend it could be. it should be. you could all date you couLd all be happy together i think

STEVE I JUST WANT TO BE LOVED HARRINGTON

AT least this feels far more justified in why he'd upset with her this time around ?? instead of his freak ass friends being disgusting

DUSTIN IS SO SMART !!!!! HIS LEVEL OF RESEARCH!!!!! HE MAKES ME SO HAPPY

IM SORRY THAT DART IS A VOMIT SLUG

BOB APOLOGIZING FOR POSSIBLY OVERSTEPPING LIKE I JUST HES SO GOOD HES SO I SWEAR TO GOD IF HES BAD IM GONNA ACTUALLY LOSE MY MIND OR IF HE GETS HURT???

JOYCEEEEEEEEE !!!! MY MOM !!!!! LIKE BOB JUST. HES SO WORRIED HE CARES SO MUCH AND HE LOVES HOW STRONG JOYCE IS AND BALANCES HER OUT WITH HIS UNDERSTANDING OF WILL I

I need you to tell me right now if Bob is Bad and Evil i need to GRIEVE IMMEDIATELY

RE THE PARALLELL FROM EARLIER WITH MIKE N WILL

JOHNATHAN JUST TRYING TO SET THINGS RIGHT AND LYING ON STEVES BEHALF AND NANCY LIED ON STEVES BEHALF WITH THE PRESENT I JUST KNOW SHE DID LIKE YA KAHSDKH ALKDJHA LKFHAKSJHL

Maybe things cant go back to the way they were THANK YOU YOURE RIGHT THATS HOW YOU MOVE FORWARD !!!!

if this is a different TL does that mean Barb is alive is barb alive in this one does she come back !!!!

OKAY IK HOPPER IS PROBABLY LYING ABOUT EL'S MOM BEING DEAD BUT IDK MAYBE HES NOT MAYBE HE THINKS THAT THAT WOMAN WAS HER MOM AND IN THIS TL SHES DEAD ???? trying to keep track of so much conflicting infoRMATION BC OF TIMELINE SHIT IM ON MY TOES

EVERYTIME JOYCE INTERACTS WITH TECHNOLOGY IM CONVINCED ITS GONNA FUCKING EXPLODE OR SOMETHING

agAIN WITH WILL FEELING SAFE ENOUGH TO TELL MIKE ABOUT EVERYTHING TO DO WITH THE UD and asking him to relay everything to the other two just in case???

D'ART IS AUAKSDHAKJDH BEEFY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dusTIN MY BOY IK YOU LOVE THE LITTLE FREAK BUT PLEASE is that a baby EggHeadMouthFreak i remember what its called i promise i defenitely do

the SUSPECSE of Nancy going to tell Barb's mom everything has me on edge i keep pausing

I JUST GOT CONSUMED WITH EL TRYING TO FIND MIC AND HOPPER AND THE PUMPKINS AND SKDFHJSKDJHF

MIKE fuCKING hating Max because Ougadhhkjs wOm a nnn but not the ONLY girl that he wants around him which god im not smart enough to deconstruct internalized homophobia and compulsary heterosexuality rn EVEN MORE WITH EL SHOWING UP AND DOING THAT TO MAX its beyond me how people ROOT for her and Mike when its.... so clear its little kids figuring themselves out and not like.... anything actually romantic. SERIOUS? yeah - huge thing learning about yourself like this but an actual Relationship????

WILL BABY BOY im so sorry yOU WENT THROUGH A DOOR AGAIN THE AUGH hates and portals and doors and shit - THE AKSDHAKJSDHAKSJD NOT THE FUCKING SMOKE MONSTER FROM LOST STOPPPP

the way D'art moves is s ofucking FUNNNYYYYYY

WILL REMEMBER WHAT BOB SAID PLEAS PLEASE PLEASE HES DOING HIS BEST HES JUST TRYING TO HELP AND WILL !!! JUST PLEASE TRYING TO STAND UP TO HI M AND OH -

Stranger Things S2 01

this is just me live blogging watching ST none of my thoughts are v coherent enjoy <3

STARTING OFF REAL INTERESTING BUT REAL TALK when you have like a cool haircut how do you expect not to be found if u do a crime???? LIKE I LOVE YOUR MOHAWK AND I GET IT U DONT WANT TO COVER IT BC OBVIOUSLY BUT!!!!

this is NOT the focus obviously its about the fact theres other kids from the lab BUT AKSHDAKSJDKH

DUSTINNNN!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH IM SO GLAD WE'RE STARTING ON HIM KISS KISS KISS

not the reagan sign STOP STOP ITS BEEN 2 SECONDS I HATE TED THATS HIS NAME RIGHT FIGHT KILL DESTROY BITE BITE BITE BITE

also the boys have grown SO MUCH !!!!!!! i forget there was actual real time between when these were filmed KSJHD im so excited to see Will and his perpetual bowl cut

JOYCE MY MOM!!!!!!!!!! SHES SO PRETTY AND SO CONCERNED I JUST LOVE HER

THE CHIP EATING DUDE FUCKING !!!! REMINDS ME OF THAT FUCKER FROM MONSTER HOUSE???????

THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE REMINDS ME OF THIS ASKJDHASKJHDKAJSH

Will is so tiny ..... and little? oh hes being teleported into the fucking upside down again baby boy im so fucking sorry also ilu but why would you just walk outside away from wher eyour friends WERE to look at the horrifying shit world you were trapped and almost died in ????? aSDKJH

Im gonna have to DM you on discord or something so i can properly save all the things you have to say about the timelines and how the Russian shit plays into that because was anyone calling El (im assuming he's referring to her) is Russian??? IK this is possibly the third (?) timeline we've seen (genuinely let me know if i can do that its ok if not i forget tumblr has Dms)

ALSO WHO IS THIS GUY IM CRYING HES!!! WHAT A PI??? WHO ARE YOU

NANCY AND STEVE ALSO BESTIES IM CRYING STEVE IS hes trying so hard are they dating my brain is so full of queer shit that im so deadset on platonic hetero relationships - i paused for one second and unpaused and they kissed SO THAT ANSWERS MY QUESTION

idk what relationships to pay more attention to bc the dynamic between Mike and El interests me the most because of how compulsory everything feels and how El is going to navigate a completetly new environment and how Mike will cope with that? (im assuming its not well)

OH is this the !!! the guy that i see people talk about all the time YEAHHH THE BLOND MULLET MAN AND MAX what the fuck is his name Billy??? He looks trans

CRYING AT CHECKING OUT H IS ASS GIRL WAHT ASS HES FLAT HE HAS NOTH ING AKDSHASKHDKAJSH and those jeans are supposed to be supporting cheeks

I love Mr Clark so much and everyone who looks bored in his class just doesnt GET IT

BUT ALSO MAX I GET IT QUEEN the boys all staring are so good I FORGET THEY GO AS THE GHOST BUSTERS FOR HALLOWEEN

JOYCE MY MOM WHO IS THIS GUY HES??? GOOFY AND SHES SO HAPPY ??? BOB !!! i have no initial bad opinions of him bc hes silly and goofy and he makes Joyce so happy and she deserves to be SO SOSOS OS HAPPY and nothing but happy

IF i have to endure another god damn Hopper flash back im gonna throw up and scream and cry and lose my mind and I won't recover and I'll never come back

Im in call while I watch this episode because i really wanted to get through while and actually use my brain bc i don't that often - but my roommates bird is sitting next to her mic and farting really really softly into it and its making me lose my fucking mind

CORN MAZES WHEN YOURE TALL LOOK SO EASY AND LESS SCARY WHENEVER IM IN A FUCKING CORN MAZE ITS TERRIFYING AND I CANT SEE SHIT BC IM LIKE 2 FEET TALL

NANCCYCYY AND JOHNANATHANANSDNSAKDJ BESTIES BESTIES BESTIES BEST FRIENDS IM MAKING THEM A FRIENDSHIP BRACELET ITS THEIR FAVORITE COLOURS AND THEY NEVER TAKE THEM OFF

ADN STEVE TOO!!! IM SORRY YOURE A THIRD WHEEL BUT its the start of season 2 how do we feel about polyam relationships between them where the audience for that point me in the correct direction

DUSTIN IS RIGHT ALSO I LOVE HIM i love his little hats - MAX IS ALSO RIGHT

God i feel so ba for Will like to be??? singled out like that especially in elementary school? hell.

WHERE ARE THEY GOING TOGETHER WHAT IS HAPPENING ISNT THIS THE LAB ??? ougHHH THAt needle sound was unecessary

REALLY starting to see how this might be a different timelinei have no idea how ???? Joyce would.... trust them??? UNLESS THIS IS A HOSPITAL no its not ho films ina fucking hospital like this

also theyre mentioning the upside down

I understand needing to go back to the only place that fully understands that it exists and you need a place to talk to someone and also monitor him physically without being dismissed as insane - but i dont understand how Joyce OR Hopper would trust the Lab again after everything happened??????

I'm glad that he's actually getting help, and im glad that Joyce and Hopper are there to make him feel safe and support him given everything but !!!!!

this iS THE. He has PTSD. when did they get the word to describe that akjhaskjdh NVM HE JUST SAID IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO IS PRETENDING LIKE EVERYTHING IS NORMAL HELPFUL BC IT SURE THE FUCK IS N OT FOR ME ????????? also who is this DR hes kinder but "i need you to trust me" to JOYCE AFTER THE BRENNER SHIT ???

also them NOT MENTIONING IT WHEN THEY LEAVE BUT JOYCE UPSET ABOUT THE WHOLE "i need you to trust me" THING B UT NOT BRINIGN UP BRENNER?????? susususususus timeline shit anyway EM @ me tell me wahts up kiss kiss mwuah mwuah

OH they've upped their guinea pig game on entering the upside down and the gatelooks fucking uglier and uglier LOVE THE TORCH glad it works but no wonder the gate looks angry???

DUSTINNN I LOVE H IM I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

ough i have a feeling her older brother is gonna ..... trigger me a lil but we'll get through it

THEM BOTH HAVING A CRUSH ON HER!!!!!

If YouR fRiEnD jUmPs OfF a ClIfF 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

THEYRE GOING OVER TO HAVE DINNER WITH BARBS FAMILY STOP STOP STO PST OPST OPST IM GONNA CRY Oh they hired a P.I okay yeah the bald guy he..... HIS CARD STOPPPPP

realizing they defenitely can't tell her parent's what actually happened to her an di hate that im gonna oaufkahd girl im so sorry im so sorry im so osrry UPSET BC SHE AS A CHARACTER DID NOT DESERVE TO DIE I WISH THEY HADN'T DONE HER DIRTY LIKE THAT

all the photos of her would make me so ill to look at like god NANCYYY THE GUILT AND B LAME GIRLIEEEE

also Mike rebelling after experiencing that kind of trauma and losing Will and El even though Will came back he's not the same of corse he's struggling - calling it with the !!!! WALKIE TALKIEEEE girl i miss her too

YEAHHH ITS dustiNNNN BUT HE AKSHDKAJSH

DUSTINNN IM KAHSDKJH I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HES SO SILLY !!!!!!!!!!!!! HES THE SILLY IN MY HEART

HONESTLY props to him again for not like invesigating something that was probably gonna be HORRIBLE he'd survive a horror movie

JOYCEEEEE IN MY FAV SHIRT SHES SO KISS KISS KISS KISS

Johnathan is such a good brother bro BUT ALSO WILL IS SO RIGHT I GET IT I GET IT I UNDERSTAND TREATING IT LIKE ITS NORMAL MAKES IT WORSE !!!! SOMETHING HAPPENED PLEASE ACKNOWLEGE THAT and JOHANATHANNN HES THE FREAK AND A WEIRDO

STOPA SDADKSHJ iT S THAT WHY YOU DONT HAVE ANY FRINEDS SHUT UP STOP STOP /POS

BOB i love you so far and ik that being a step parent in these situation (even tho hes only dating Joyce its the same) is so hard especially when there are kids involved BUT YOURE DOING SUCH A GOOD JOB

AND THEYRE ALL WATCHING THE MOVIE TOGETHER AHHH

ew the phone the trigger GIRL YOU GOT THIS ITS OKAY ITS OKAY BUT ALSO THATS SUCH A HORRENDOUS RINGTONE WHAT THE FUCK

love me a tech who accidentally ignores the alarms going off (i couldnt hear the song playing it feels important - unintentially placing importance on all the music in this show now thank u em)

OohuaAHDAKJH OH WILL IS GONNA get ,,,,, yoinked back again isn't he ouguhadhAKHDJS interesting that it really only affects the *outside* like doors are now portals in a way ? i cant remember if it affected the inside of the arcade immediately or not

OH MIST LOOKING MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wood Waffle Hours !!!!!!!!!! OH NO CABIN HOURS??? IS SHE. IS SHE. BIG EYE BALL EMOJIS LET ME SEE MY GIRL LET ME SEE THE BABY GIRL !!!! this entire scene makes it seem like shes a fucking AKSJDHA freak ass creature

HER HAIRRRRR SHES SO CUTE STOPPPP HOPPERS LITTLE SMILE IM TEARING UP AND CRYING ACTUALLY LOOK AT THEM LOOK AT THEM LOOKA T THEM OUGHHAHAHHHHHHHH IM HEAVING

thank u for reading these were my thoughts

[thefreshchannel]

Things i remember from when tdpi premiered:

- the colorless black and white promo picture of the contestants came out and people made all sorts of recolors of it. I’m p most topher recolors were jfk clone high

- back when the colorless post came out people shipped scarlett with shawn because they thought shawn would be like this cool skater/junkie and scarlett would be a shy timid nerdy girl

- ACTUALLY months before it premiered, i think even as all stars was airing its last episodes someone leaked the first episode’s storyboard and we all got ahold of it.

- based on the recent storyboard people started shipping ella with jasmine bc ppl thought it would be cute (princess girl/strong knight girl) but the other half of the populars were like “STOP SHIPPING WOC WITH WHITE GIRLS!” They then proceeded to ship jasammy once tdpi premiered and bash everyone who DID NOT ship it (also a good ship but sammy is also a white girl lol)

- dave. Oh dave. Oh my goodness dave. Mike discourse 2.0 except the populars LIKED him. They would excuse anything dave did like “HES MENTALLY ILL WHY DO YOU HATE MENTALLY ILL PPL WHO RELATE TO HIM” as if they had not done the same with mike td a couple of months ago. Idc abt this discourse anymore but back in the day the way he obsessed over sky and wanting to date her despite her saying no made a lot of ppl feel kinda nasty.

- idk why ppl hated ella sm. I guess she was annoying to some. Usually these ppl were sugar stans. Or maybe it’s just how unrealistic the characters were this season that made her kind of unlikable. I liked her tho she was sweet.

- lu had a leonard ask blog from when the storyboard was leaked and made a post once it premiered. A (non black) popular called them out for using aave bc “LEONARD DOESNT TALK LIKE THIS WE KNOW WHY UR MAKING HIM TALK LIKE THIS THO” and lu had to reblog and remind the popular that they in fact were black.

- there were some...VERY toxic topher stans who would straight up make him a homophobic stereotype when he didnt rlly...act like that? The gwanon/sierra blog was friends w them and would submit anti bullying psa’s to ppl who would call out the toxic topher stan for telling people to drink bleach.

- sugar would get a lot of hate as well and a lot of it had to do w her being fat. Yoinks. Iirc there was a side that actually rlly liked and they were the ones receiving sugar hate/criticism. A lot of it did have to do w her being “nasty”

- when the finale premiered, sky using dave did not sit well with The Boys and they would draw torture porn of her getting wedgies and being beaten for “making dave cry”

- jashawn fanbase was like a peaceful place to be in because everyone was just having fun w the ship. A ship everyone agreed with at the time.

[soulwillower]

isn’t this easy?• bill denbrough

(bill denbrough x reader)      

warnings: swearing, some angst, fluff, poorly written, unedited!!!

... idk what this is

[losers + reader are aged up to high school in this.]

2.2k words

♡

bill’s eye rolls were getting increasingly more aggressive and painful to watch as you and the losers sit in the clubhouse, silently eyeing the boy as he leans against a pole with his phone to his ear. on the other line, an upset voice spits words like “insensitive,” “asshole,” “stupid,” and “embarrassing” but bill says nothing back, sighs emitting slowly from worried down lips with a pained and embarrassed look.

bill was broke, and not in an economic sense as much as in his relationship. he’d never admit it to you up front, but he told eddie and ben three days ago that his girlfriend was taking so much more than she was giving. and its killing him. 

its not like none of you noticed, it’s just that he’s still with her despite that that hurts you.

you cant help the twinge of anger that lights a fire deep within you; you open your mouth to question the berating insults that were just flying through his phone from the girls that was supposed to love him.  

richie asks before you have a chance. “whats got your girl’s panties in such a twist, big bill?” mike chuckles and okay, not exactly the words you would have chosen, but the grimace and shrug bill responds with suggests the job was done either way.

“e-earlier today i m-made a thats wh-what she said j-joke.”

you blink and share a look with eddie before looking back in shock to bill. “and thats all? you got all of that just from a joke? what, was it bad?”

he shakes his head, “i th-thought it was funny. she and her boring flathead f-friends didnt. i’m in the d-doghouse, now.”

it’s quiet then, because all seven of you - and possibly bill himself - were all thinking it, but not even you or richie were bold enough to just say it. plus, bill could never betray the treatment that he’s always known, and it's killing you to watch him wilt under this girl. he gets this treatment from his parents and now his girlfriend, too. it hurts you everywhere.

and in the silence of the group, the sarcastic 'cheers' gesture that bill makes with his can of soda is a sad reminder that he’s going to stay true to the golden core that once defined a now-dying infatuation.

but you’re fairly certain that golden core started rotting the moment they’d met. 

- 

sometimes, when bill gets flashbacks or around the certain times that he cant help but stare forlornly at the empty room across his hall, he would call her.

she didn't get it, of course she didn't. she tried to help him the first few times, like a decent girlfriend - really, the bare minimum - but it got hard for her. or she didn't want that part of bill. 

she only wanted the ‘good parts,’ you’d heard. but that doesn't make sense, because every part of bill is a good part. 

she doesn't get him, she doesn't understand the depths of trauma and hurt that swirls slowly below the depths of his 6’1 frame - behind his smiles, his leadership, his kindness, cheer, and unsullied bravery and intuition.

the losers get it, you get it. because you were there along with him the whole time and though still none of you want to outright address it for fear of getting violently sick as you recall memories. 

but you and bill can talk about it in a way that’s accessible for the two of you and it’s typically stuff that makes you laugh or makes you uncomfortable upon reflection, the fuzzy memories that get harder to recall the older you grow. 

and because of that, more often than not you’ll get a text and then sit in your car down the block until you see her leave his house before sneaking to his room to comfort him and brush tears off his cheeks that roll down from both the petrifying fear of repressed memories along with the stinging pains of rejection from his disdainful girlfriend.

it was heartbreaking.

during those nights he tells you that he doesn't deserve someone like you and you think that’s absurd. but he also tells you how nice it is that you make him laugh when he knows he’s about to cry, and how you know exactly how he feels when those intrusive feelings get in the way and its almost too much. he says he loves you, and when you say it back it’s with a stabbing pain through your heart. because he loves you, but not in the same way. 

and sure, you dream of the day where bill wakes up and realizes that holy shit, you’ve been in front of him the whole time. but even that isn’t as important as your longing for bill to wake up and see that he just deserves better than her. 

you could give that to him, but even so, he just needs to get out of her talons because they were ripping him apart.

- 

and when it had been a few days since you'd last gotten to see bill, you decided you needed to check in on him. out of childhood habit, you walked through the backyard and went to knock on the back door. but his figure is already there and before your fist can make a sound,  the door slides open. “oh, hi.” you say, eyes wide, fist hovering above the empty space that once was bill’s sliding door.

bills green eyes swim with happiness and he gives you a tired smile, stepping out with you and giving you another glimmer of hope. “h-hey y/n, wh-what’s up?” he asks you, following you without question. you shrug, “wanted to go to the park. need to get away.” you explain, leaving out the 'you' at the beginning of your last sentence. he gives a blinding smile as he’s helping to lift you over his back fence. “g-good, i’ve been missing my g-girl lately.”

you think about those words the whole way to the park and they still make you smile as your legs brush against each other on the park bench. you can't help but watch him as he talks. the way his lips form words as he tries to force them out of his mouth, the embarrassed blush totally absent from his cheeks now that his girlfriend isn't around. he told you once with a grimace that she doesn't always love when he stutters.

you do, of course. you always love everything about bill.

and minutes later, when you crack a lewd joke, he looks shocked and unsurprised all at once that you can't help your stare as his green eyes flick around, checking if any kids at the park heard before looking to you. he tips his head back with a bright laugh, the melodic sound coaxing a laugh of your own from your lips. his arm casually comes to rest against the back of the bench as laughs still bubble from his cherry lips, his red hair glinting in the sun.

he looks at you and for the first time in months, he looks completely relaxed. “y/n!” he says, halfway between amusement and chastising, his lips still smiling. you smile back at him, holding his soft gaze as he shakes his head softly.

isnt this so easy?

you wonder briefly why it isnt easy like this with him and her.

because you just don’t get it. bill’s the kind of boy that everybody loves - very few people dislike him and if you discredit the psychopaths or lunatics that this town is riddled with, the people left are far and few between.

his girlfriend dislikes him now, though, and he dislikes her. but hes too nice to see that, because he just wants everyone around him to be happy even if its at his own expense.

- 

and then two weeks after their phone call in the clubhouse, he showed up at your door with short breaths, stuttering words, and tears swimming in his eyes. it was one in the morning and he looked almost as bad as you’d seen him since that one summer back in middle school.

and when you were up in your room, he told you all about their breakup and how that itself didnt hurt, but what was killing him was how foolish he’d been to keep on dating a girl who didnt show him the kind of love he wanted.

he started to say something else, but stopped and you didn’t bring it up, as much as you wanted to.

bill was sleeping on rocks at home, spending sleepless nights thinking about where they’d stepped and the entire mess that had thankfully ended tonight. but he couldn’t sleep well and the evidence was right under his eyes.

so you’d let him stay with you, and he insisted on sleeping on the floor but you thought that was nonsense. he curled up with you on the bed and it was the best sleep the two of you ever had.

- 

then it happened again a couple weeks after their break up. bill had run up to your front door and pounded on it until you begrudgingly answered. he'd woken you up, because it was seven in the morning and you gape at him - he looks like he's been up all night. "bill-" you start but he starts stuttering, talking a mile a minute as if he has to say something now or else he never could again.

the feeling of an empty pit in your stomach that wishes for a splash of light starts to grow as he looks at you almost warily. "y-y/n, i have to- just listen, p-please, because i n-need to a-ask you..."

you wait patiently, terrified because he looks like he might be sick, but he starts anyways. “y/n. you u-understand me, you always h-have...” he looks very anxious, and bill is rarely anxious so you start to panic. his next words are shocking.

“y/n, are y-you... are you in l-love with me?” he asks, and the air leaves your lungs. he’s watching you, looking torn, and it breaks your heart. it looks like he’s in pain and he looks so lost. you nod slowly, shrugging. “yeah, bill. i just- i cant help it.” you say, feeling defeated and somehow elated by your admission.

his eyes well with tears and he shakes his head. “im so s-s-sorry.” he whispers, voice cracking. it kills you. “i’m s-sorry, f-fuck.” 

you’re scared and confused and deeply sorrowful as his words leave his lips. just because he doesn't love you back doesn't mean he has to be sorry about it at all. 

 it hurts you to think that a boy who gives so much love for everyone can be so lost and unsure with himself, feeling so undeserving of real love. “y-y/n, i'm s- i didnt kn-know. i d-didnt know, i'm so s-sorry.”

he's hysteric and your heart hurts as you realize he's sorry that you had to see him with his ex all the time and you shake your head. you’ve never seen bill like this before. 

“bill, it's okay, i just want you to be happy, that’s all. i don't need you to- we dont have to-“

“-i don’t want to f-f-fuck it up w-with you, too. i’m s-scared.” he says softly, eyes bright and teary like summer grass after a long rain. his hands are shaking as he lifts them to rub at his tired eyes, lip quivering.

the world spins for both of you as you tentatively walk forward, grabbing his cheeks softly. theyre warm under your touch and when he looks down at you, the spinning stops.

“why do you think you could ever fuck it up with me?” you ask softly, genuinely curious as your heartbeat thumps against your chest. his eyes are closed, in either fear or regret. 

“you couldn’t if you tried. i love ‘thats what she said’ jokes.” you say teasingly.

bill laughs wetly, his cheeks slightly squishing as his wide smile is obstructed by your soft hands. “i love y-you.” he says, eyes opening to stare at you seriously. you raise your eyes, surprised and elated at his words.

“you do?” you ask dumbly, hands falling from his face to his shoulders to steady yourself. “y-yeah, i do. i think i have for a r-really long t-time.” he says sheepishly with a smile.

you can’t help but let out a relieved laugh, your shoulders relaxing as he grins down at you with a look full of nothing but love. 

“can i k-kiss you?” he whispers, hands sneaking to your cheek and neck. “please.” you say just as quietly, unable to wipe the smile from your face.

when he closes the gap, he tastes like salt but he kisses you softly with more intent and feeling than you ever thought possible.

his hands are gentle and rough all the same, kissing with wild fire and with calm waters. you feel pinned to earth and up in the clouds, his lips on yours and tongue swiping gently in your mouth. he’s smiling into your mouth, laughing gently with love as he pulls you closer, arms wrapping tightly around your middle.

the darkness that ached for the splash of light within you is completely gone now, replaced with glowing love, admiration for the boy that you’ve loved since middle school.

 he belongs with you.

[cultofbeatles]

beginners guide to the beatles

 made one of these a long time ago but i'm surprised by how short it was. so here we go again. doing it right this time lol. 

pov: you told a bad joke and now the beatles are judging you. 

john winston lennon. later in his life known as john winston ono lennon. 

born on october 9, 1940 

i believe in astrology bc how does john just happen to be a libra 

when john was four he started living with his aunt mimi who acted more as his mother figure 

his mother, julia, remarried and would visit him quite a bit.

it was julia who taught john how to play banjo and piano. and she bought his first guitar.

they both had a deep love for music and rock n roll 

he never really thought of her as his mother but more as a cool friend i suppose 

aunt mimi was more rough on him and did the disciplining 

his father was never really present growing up and his uncle passed away when he was young 

he thought he was a curse for the men in his family 

he had five half siblings. two of them, julia and jacqueline, he was pretty close to. the other three he barely knew. 

fashion icon.

hated school but loved art 

very early on he was insecure with himself 

teachers always shit on him and said he would go nowhere in life 

he met paul at a church fete on july 6, 1957 

paul taught him how to play guitar properly.

once told paul that he didnt know how paul carried on after his mother died bc he just didn't think he could do it 

john’s mother died from being hit by an off duty policemen. john was seventeen at the time. 

 he took her death really hard and became a bit of a recluse. 

first serious relationship was with cynthia (we stan her) 

once cynthia cut her hair short and he didn't talk to her for two days. 

hate men. kill all men. 

when he asked her to dance at a party she turned him down saying that she was engaged, and so he said “well i didn't ask you to fucking marry me, did i?” 

slapped her once bc he was drunk and another boy was talking to her.

only time her hit her.

read cynthia’s books about john pls. i beg. 

once a psychic told him that he would be shot in the states.

founder of the beatles and also came up with the name.

instruments he could play: guitar, harmonica, rhythm guitar, banjo, keyboard, piano, saxophone, bass guitar, and a little drums. 

main songwriter in the beatles along with paul.

was more open minded to change in the beatles music. 

was insecure in his relationship with paul after a while bc he thought he only needed him for songwriting. 

would bitch about paul all day long but the second anyone else said something about him he’d be on their ass. 

had a lot of issues and needed a good hug. 

suffered from eating disorders, drug addictions, depression, insecurities, and questioned his sexuality bc of the time. 

was super open minded and ahead of his time in many instances. 

once he was called “the fat beatle” and after that he stopped eating as much.

truly loved his first son, julian lennon, and would buy him presents all the time bc he was excited to see him play with them.

“your famous ex husband”

he enjoyed playing monopoly. 

he once claimed that he saw a ufo.

he had written three books but he always wanted to write a children's book.

 the last song he ever performed in front of a live audience was “i saw her standing there.” with elton john.

he was afraid of the dark. 

found out later in his life that he was dyslexic. 

was also legally blind without glasses.

never could catch a break huh.

said that his best lyric ever was “all you need is love” i agree.

the first time yoko and john met was not at her art exhibit but actually when she approached him about giving away songs for free.

wanted to write a musical with paul. 

once a friend dared him to masturbate ten times in one day and he managed to do it nine times.

would hold circle jerks with paul and a few other friends. 

just dudes being dudes. 

went on a holiday with brian epstein, who was gay, and told some people afterward that they did certain sexual things. but we will never know for sure.

yoko says that john was bisexual.

once in an interview he said that he would of married a rich man or woman if he wasn't in the beatles. 

hated his voice on records. would always ask for effects on his voice for final recordings. 

made a film with yoko where it was just his penis going from flaccid to erect for fifteen minutes in slow motion. 

only beatle not to of become a vegetarian while he was alive. 

murdered on december 8, 1980.

gave his autograph earlier in the day to the man who would murder him.

died at the age of 40.

“all my loving” was played while he was at the hospital.

and its spooky bc a lot of times in interviews he would say “when i'm 40..” 

and it’s sad bc he was finally becoming who he truly wanted to be. 

honorable john moments that i love:

“thanks for the purpler hearts” he says while receiving the silver heart 

“you are the first person from liverpool that i've ever seen” “great”

eric lennon on my mind today 

this come together performance where he messed up the lyrics lol

that interview where paul was sick and john keep checking on him 

john lennon speaking nothing but facts 

when he said that he could see the beatles going separate ways but that they'd always come back together.

SHUT UP 

“shut up while he’s talking..”

this interview breaks my heart sometimes 

and this interview is great as well 

sir james paul mccartney 

born on june 18, 1942

if you ever have spare time just check out this man’s natal chart. 

idk how he’s still alive with his chart tbh. 

he has a younger brother named mike and a step sister named ruth. 

his dad thought he was the ugliest baby he’d ever seen when he was born. 

when he was young paul would kill frogs in a way to prepare himself for the war if he ever was drafted. 

the first instrument he ever learned to play was the trumpet.

I don't even want to list every instrument this man can play but trust me when I say it’s a lot.

but for the beatles he mainly did bass, vocals, and piano. sometimes playing the guitar and the drums.

the beatles was just paul moving really, really fast. 

he lost his mother when he was 14 due to surgery for breast cancer.

never really learned how to cope well with loss of a loved one tbh. 

had the cutest chubby cheeks as a kid tbh 

met john and was accepted into his band 

sometimes they'd ditch school together and either work on music or would visit art galleries.

went to paris with john and john bought him all the banana milkshakes that he wanted.

connected over their love and admiration for music, and bc they had both lost their mothers. 

had a girlfriend’s mom who he would make comb his leg hairs. 

was an ass to his first girlfriend.

kill all men again. 

almost had to marry his girlfriend dot bc she was pregnant, but she ended up losing the baby.

was the one who introduced george harrison to john.

practically despised pete best and stuart stutcliffe bc they were bringing the group down. 

got arrested along with pete best bc they lit a condom on fire in hamburg.

still felt awful and a little guilty when stuart died suddenly. 

main force behind the beatles imo. 

without him we’d have not as much beatles music as we do. 

was dating jane asher throughout majority of the sixties. 

when they first met they talked about syrup and paul fell in love.

they broke things off after she walked in on him sleeping with another woman though.

directed magical mystery tour and it was amazing and I don't care what anyone says ok?

when john divorced cynthia he was the only one not scared of john and went against his wishes of not speaking to cynthia.

was a little controlling at times. 

has a good heart though. 

mal evans had to drive him home once after a beatles sessions bc he was crying so hard. 

was talking about getting the band back to touring when john said he was leaving the group. 

everyone kind of turned against him when the beatles were breaking up and i hate it.

he just wanted what was best for the band.

married linda and had a nice little farm. 

we love that story.

linda i'm free thursday if you want to hang out pls.

started up the whole “no meat monday” thing where you don't eat monday on mondays

food meat. not the other kind of meat.

children: james mccartney, stella mccartney, heather mccartney, mary mccartney, and beatrice mccartney. 

rip martha. 

WINGS!! 

he lost linda in 1998 due to cancer.

 cried for a whole year bc of it.

still has dreams about john and says they're nice.

wrote a sad song about john called “here today.”

really loved john. like..he truly, genuinely did. 

want someone to love me like paul does john. 

“think of me every now and then old friend.”

honorable paul moments:

his story about george’s dad 

“john? he was beautiful. very beautiful.”

humpty dumpty rap 

another story about him and george.

his google search video that I watch every week 

this 

george harrison 

born: February 24, 1943 

or at least we think 

bc he use to say that his birthday was february 25, but later started saying it february 24. 

why can't we change our birthdays its not like we picked it 

he was the youngest child.

baby of the family and of the beatles awwww

two older brothers named harry and peter. one older sister named louise.

when george’s mom was pregnant with him she’d play sitar music.

his mom was super supportive of his career choice 

when he was 16 he worked as an electricians apprentice.

his dad kind of hoped he would start a family business out of it.

george said nah

would ride the bus opposite way of his house just to spend time with paul 

headbutted a kid bc he didn't think they were worthy of paul’s friendship 

was brought into the band bc of paul insisting to john 

would follow john around like a lost puppy when he first met him 

once had an eight hour erection. don't ask me how idk he said it.

was 17 when he lost his virginity and the other band members were in the room watching and cheered him when he finished 

most sex craved beatle tbh 

once walked into a girls dressing room and asked if they could stand there so he could masturbate 

he was the first beatle to go to america 

got a black eye for defending ringo once 

would make john and paul take turns sharing rooms with ringo when he first joined the band so that he felt more welcomed 

when ringo left during the white album and then came back george decorated the studio with flowers for him 

during the beatles first recording session he told george martin that he didn't like his tie

became a vegetarian at 22 

favorite candy was jelly beans and purple was his favorite color 

used the phrase “grotty” in the hard days night movie, hated it, but everyone else picked up on the slang 

met his first wife, pattie boyd, on the set of a hard days night 

was turned down by her at first 

they married in 1966

wouldn't let her do modeling stuff and was kind of an ass 

a stylish couple but not the best image for a healthy relationship 

got into eastern religion around 1965 

during the Hamburg days he would eat chicken on stage 

had an affair with ringo’s first wife maureen 

got a divorce from pattie in 1977

in 1978 he married olivia who he stayed with until his death and had one son with. dhani.

was the first beatle to hit a number one single and album. 

was buddies with led zeppelin

inspired their “rain song” 

smashed a piece of cake on john bonham’s head and then was thrown into the pool by him 

he financed and produced films. had a production company.

tom petty said that george never shut up once you started talking to him 

but he was often referred to as “the quiet beatle”

formed another band called the traveling wilburys

he’d answer questions online in the 2000′s and it’s the cutest thing ever and his answers break my heart too.

“what do you miss most about john lennon?” “john lennon.”

in 1999 a schizophrenic person broke into his house and stabbed him 40 times 

thank god olivia was there bc she was the only braincell in the room 

had to get a part of his lung taken out 

died november 29, 2001 from lung cancer 

ashes were scattered into the ganges river 

honorable george moments:

this interview he did with ringo 

“i'm sad bc i can't play guitars with john anymore. but i did that...i know we’ll meet again some day.”

when he invented reaction videos 

“the wind was blowing.” “..blowing my girl?”

“what kind of girl do you like?” “john’s wife.”

sir richard starkey aka ringo starr 

born on july 7, 1940 

oldest member in the group 

has no siblings 

naturally was left handed but his grandma thought it was bad luck so he writes right handed, and plays drums with a right handed kit 

but does everything else left handed

when he was 6 he fell into a two month coma 

was a very sick child 

when he was 13 he was in the hosiptal for tuberculosis and formed a hospital band 

grew up poor 

loves and looked up to his stepfather a lot 

his step father bought him his first drum kit in 1957

wasn't that great in school bc he missed so much of it from being so sick 

he worked for a britain railway for a while 

also served drinks on a day boat for a job 

loves dancing 

Rory storm and the hurricanes 

got his nickname from all the rings he would wear

replaced pete best as the beatles drummer 

dealt with people hating him for a bit bc they liked pete more 

had to style his hair in a bowl cut to be in the band and i'm still mad at them for making him do that shit 

ringo i'm so sorry 

george martin didn't really like his drumming and had a session drummer come in for the first album 

in 1964 he had tonsillitis, pharyngitis, and high fever all at once and had to be in the hospital for a bit.

was worried the beatles would replace him for good 

he’s a cancer don't worry

was the first beatle to try weed 

drummers always go first huh 

married his first wife, maureen, in 1965 

she kissed paul, ringo, and george.

what a champ

honeymoon was ruined by reporters 

was really insecure in his relationship and needed a lot of reassurance 

had a great relationship with pretty much all the beatles 

but a great one with john 

john felt his most relaxed when he was with ringo

was once in a movie with roger daltrey 

divorced maureen in 1975 

his wife now is barbara bach who he married in 1981 

had alcohol problems 

once gotten so drunk that he beat barbara so badly that he thought he killed her 

put himself into rehab after that 

barbara lowkey looks like jan from the office 

children: zak, lee, and jason

zak is the drummer for the band the who 

peace and love 

but don't send me fan mail anymore 

peace and love 

ringo starr and the allstar band (starting 1981)

was the narrator for thomas the tank engine 

will play at paul’s concerts sometimes now for fun 

mad bc he came on stage during paul’s last concert show and it was on my birthday and I couldn't go to it 

honorable ringo moments:

“do you want me to come with you?”

stupid barbara walters 

talking about paul 

giving us a little dance 

[hearts401]

oh is that an opportunity to ramble i hear? dont mind if i do

firstly i hate lizzie being the daddys girl sorryyyyy its boring 2 me!!! i dont think will even liked her i just think she preferred him over whatever the fuck her brothers were doing in their little corner lol. william literally made an animatronic for her and then made it a child killing machine "he made it for her" like okay but he also made it for himselffff didnt he? liek... also in tse (which ik isnt game canon) he does hit her doesnt he? and hes annoyed by her? like this is a little girl with nothin better to do who is constantly asking to go see the murder bot. and in the end he didnt even try very hard to stop her? like she wanted to be daddys girl but she wasnt lmao. also her desperation to prove herself to him/make him proud like... normal girls whos fathers loved them ddddont do that. william didnt like her she was probably just the most tolerable because she wasnt crying all the time and she wasnt michael. being michael is like a death sentence. but ill come back to that when i talk about him lol. she loved her father and even went as far as convincing herself he called her to teh fnaf 6 location so she could help him, only to figure out he was there, but hed never called her, and had never come to find her. he was too wrapped up dealing with michael. dddoesnt give the vibes of a loving father lol. i dont think he WANTED her to die, obviously cbby wasnt made to kill her (in fact none of his kids' deaths were directly by him, the aftons are just unlucky like that) but she did die and it was his fault because he doesnt understand how kids work ig

idk i feel like too many ppl use the whole "spoiled brat" thing too much like... i dont think she was spoiled at all but. okay.

NOW FOR MICHAEL. WOOH THERES A LOT.

this is specifically teen mike but i'll talk about adult mike too... maybe... i dont know actually IM JUST GOING ON OKAY DONT MIND ME

firstly yall give him too much credit im SORRYYY. i dont think william was the reason he bullied evan. i dont think his friends were the reason he bullied evan. i think he was a bored teenager who was annoyed/amused by his little brother's sensitivity and decided hey lets make fun of him why? cuz its funny. he has 0 emotional intelligence and is insensitive because its not him whos being treated badly. like. think about it this way. he is also being treated like shit/ignored by william. so obviously, mental health issues ensue. so he needs to find a few things: attention, entertainment, and a distraction.

actually kids who are neglected act out a lot, and this could be a form of michael acting out.

entertainment is obvious. he finds it funny. he does it excessively, yeah, but thats because he doesnt have a lot of it. he has friends who find it funny to, so hes gonna be like "yo lets do this" because its something his friends can get behind. again, attention.

finally, distraction is obvious and basically the same as entertainment.

the worst part of all this is that thru finding a way of coping with his issues, he takes away any coping evan has. he cant hang out at fredbears cuz hes scared, he cant go home because hes scared. he gets locked in his room, and he cant make friends because hes just the crybaby who hides under the tables.

but this isnt about evan if i talk about him ill get sad.

teen mike would not immediately switch up if evan didnt die. if he understood what could have happened/the severity/maybe even had some sense knocked into him, then hed reevaluate, but hes not suddenly the best brother in the world.

and another thing, and this might be a hot take idrk

he would not cook for his siblings. he would not clean the house. that boy takes hte trash out at the end of the day and that is IT. if william doesnt cook, nobody will. and i assume that he does because as awful as he is, hes not tryna get arrested. HE HAS KIDS TO MURDER PEOPLE!!!!

i dont think hes the adult of the house and ive mentioned before that i dont think the afton brotehrs eat dinner with lizzie and william. just because they dont give that vibe. william wouldnt WANT lizzie there but its not like the worst thing thats happened tohim and i bet hed rather her than the crybaby and the MICHAEL.

the afton brothers probably dont eat dinner together either but thats more likely than the alternative.

i lost my train of thought i had so many thoughts so expect word vomit now

mike just overall gives asshole teen vibes. if evan and lizzie hadnt died he wouldve needed the wake up call of the century

i dont think hes responsible (frankly i dont think hes a very responsible ADULT.) and i dont think he was forced, coerced, or felt obligated to bully evan the way he did. i think that view of him takes away a lot from his character. and from the aftons in general.

i want more the aftons are toxic but MORE than just william. I want more than just bad dad because michael was a bad brother and i cant see lizzie being a very good sister and evan didnt have a choice. he probably tried but yknow.

thats about all i can think of right now i hope you guys understand what im saying

im starting to think its less "nobody gets them like i do" and more "ive made up a very specific interpretation of them in my head that nobody else would understand unless i explained it in excruciating detail"

[thesaunatest]

MY HUGE THEORY ON EL’S PLOTLINE IN S4

before you guys even start, YES I know that 99.9% of what I say is going to be wrong but this is literally just for fun.

its march 1986, middle of the school year and el HATES school

when we left her she was barely literate and had just started getting accostomed to speaking full sentences, NOWHERE NEAR a 9th grade level, so shes struggling in her classes to say the least

on top of that, she barely knows how to socialize with other people, so shes evidently getting picked on

with joyce and jonathan both working to keep the family afloat, will and el get left alone alot

but outside of the party, they socially have nothing in common

in fact, will is adapting to the new town a whole lot better than el. he fit right in with all the creative kids he met in class, but el didnt mesh with that crowd

anyway, our girl is sturggling

the only time she really has fun is when she visits hawkins, or when someone from the party visits them

which leads us to spring break

mike obviously comes to visit, and el doesnt want them to waste a single second so she begs mike and will to come explore the town with her

at this point joyce is already in her detective mode, hatching a rescue plan for hopper so she doesnt notice theyre gone

and jonathan is battling the heartbreak of nancy ghosting him when she was supposed to come visit

so the trio goes off on an adventure without anyone noticing.......... or so they think

because brenner is back, and he knows el is with the byers, but he cant go and snatch her because he doesnt have the resources all the way in california

in fact, he doesnt have the resources at all. his numbers experiment is seen as a catastrophic failure that lead to the deaths of hundreds of lab employees

the only way for him to redeem himself in the community, and gain his funding back is to present his peers with proof that the project can work, so he needs to get one of his numbers back

el is the only one he can track down, but he doesnt think he can do it himself. if she saw him, she could just kill him with her powers, he assumes because he doesnt know she lost them

so who does he employ to get el back to hawkins? lonnie byers

its almost too easy. it doesnt take much to bribe lonnie, and hey, its not like its his kid. so lonnie accepts the bribe, and goes all the way out to california to find el

he shows up at the byers house..... only to find it completely deserted. so he waits

and the trio finds him there after their day out (why are you here? what do you want? where are mom and jonathan?)

and lonnie, being as crafty as he is, comes up with a good excuse on the fly (hes craftier than i am because i genuinely have no idea what he would say)

anyway, he gets them in his car and on their way back to hawkins

jonathan shows up after theyve already left, and is too stoned tired to think anything of the empty house

and joyce is already halfway to russia

will knows his father. he knows that his father doesnt give a shit about him, the family, or anything about hawkins. he knows that his father wouldnt get involved in anything unless he had something to gain. so hes wraking his brain

maybe.... lonnie pulls over to take a suspicious phone call? maybe will figures out an inconsistency in his story? either way, the gang is onto lonnie and figures that they gotta get away from him and get back to joyce and jonathan

they tuck and roll out of the car. idk. all that matters is that they get out of there

as theyre rolling out of the car, el bonks her head a little and has a quick flashback to her time in the lab

since her intuition is always spot on, she takes this as a cue the breener is back and lonnie is working for him

she tells the boys it isnt safe to go back to california or hawkins, so they come up w an alternative plan, somewhere neither brenner nor lonnie would think to look for them

and while theyre on the road, they stop at a diner to eat (dont ask me where they got the money) and we get will leaving an emotional voicemail home, probably sobbing to jonathan about how much he means to will, which gives el an idea

because who has the resources to help her, as well as a desire for vengeance on brenner? kali

el uses her superb hitchiking skills to get them to chicago

maybe she just has some hints of her powers left, but it isnt too hard for el to find kali

she explains everything thats happened, and lets kali know that if she want revenge, the opportunity is hers

unfortunately, lonnie was hot on their trail, and called for reinforcements

theyre ambushed by the few employees brenner has working for him. initially, everyone is hiding, assisted by kali’s powers

but el knows they arent leaving empty handed, and would rather get taken away then have kali’s freedom taken from her

so el reveals herself, followed by mike because he wont leave her, followed by will because he wont leave mike

all three get taken away, back to hawkins lab, but now kali is even more motivated to bring down the lab once and for all

so kali and her gang get to hawkins, almost simultaniously with jonathan, who has been looking for his family in a frenzy since the morning he woke up to find eveyone gone, without even a note or a phone call, as well as argyle, who came along for the ride

the video store is being used as home base this season, so thats the first place they go, where they find steve, shortstaffed and not knowing whats going on because the whole team ditched him

they catch him up to speed on how EVERYONES GONE and steve catches them up to speed on how EVERYONE IS GETTING MURDERED

meanwhile, brenner has three predicaments

1) no matter what he does to el, what kind of torture he inflicts, she isnt using her powers because she doesnt have them. she tells him this several times. he refuses to believe it

2) lonnie byers is demanding his payment, which he didnt recieve because the deal was that he bring el to them, and he couldnt even do that

3) he has to find a way to dispose of mike and will, who he had no intention of bringing into the lab but theyre here and they know everything

and this is the moment where mike screws up by letting them know that people know theyre in the lab and people know about all the experiments and any second now, someones gonna come banging that door down to save us. nancy, jonathan, steve, robin max, lucas, dustin, kali-

and the second mike says her name he knows he screwed up

brenner decides in that moment that all he can do is round up everyone involved and get rid of them. conveniently, the string of murders occurring will serve as a good cover for what happened to them

and this is the part where joyce, murray, and hopper get back to hawkins

this is also the part where nancy and robin and the gang get back to hawkins

so nancy and robin immediately go to the video store armed with all the new information they learned from victor creel

..... and are met with jonathan, argyle, kali, and steve in pandemonium

they close the store for the day, and get ready to storm the lab

they realize that they need something from the school, so they head there to pick it up

and soon after arriving, theyre met with the all to familiar hawkins lab vans

they make a hasty escape, taking out some of the goons but they need to find a way to get the rest off their trail

they head for the woods, hoping to hide out in the cabin

meanwhile, the russia crew has taken the mostly demolished cabin as their haven to recover from whatever injuries they sustained

theyre all running through the woods, but they realize the people from the lab are closing in on them

and then nancy and jonathan pass a very familiar tree

they use whatever weapon they have on them to break through the bark, and head into the upside down

the lab people keep going into the woods, eventually finding hopper’s cabin

epic showdown between the russia crew and the lab people, joyce, murray and hopper win, they realize the lab is back, immediately head there realizing theyre gonna have to rescue someone

nancy and robin use the info they learned from victor creel to keep the gang alive in the upside down, max, argyle and eddie are freaking out because omg we’re in another dimention, we get some big reveal about the truth about the upside down and the gang makes their way out and head to the lab

and while this is all happening,we get some super emotional monologue between brenner and el (ala-the last 10 minutes of the truman show) and brenner realizes that el isnt going to be the naieve superweapn she used to be, and decides the best thing he can do with el is give her the standard punishment, time in the closet

and being in the closet triggers all sorts of flashbacks and emotions (mbb’s opportunity to show off her acting chops for an emmy)

joyce and hopper bust into the lab like they did in season 1, but this time they dont get caught

they decide to split up to cover more ground, and hopper finds el in the closet

and around the same time joyce finds mike and will and gets them out of there

here comes the REAL emotional performance

hopper sees her, we get a teary eyed “el!” “dad!”, and then hopper gets pulled away from el by lab workers

exactly the same way terry did

we’re watching this happen from el’s perspective, with a heart-wrenching “noooooooooo” from el, accompanied by cuts to every time el has had to be separated from someone she cares about (terry, the s1 ending, billy dying, her leaving kali in s2, saying goodbye to everyone on moving day, her being separated from mike and will when they got to the lab) accompanied by some terribly sad 80s song, then back to the present moment, she reaches her hand out and boom, the guards go flying. her powers are back

except she doesnt have control of them the way she did before, and now shes bringing the whole building down

her and hopper race to the the first floor, and meet joyce and the boys, they get out of the building at the very last second, and the whole thing collapses.

eventually they find the other group, the whole team is now together, they go and take down the big bad from the upside down, joyce almost KILLS lonnie

nancy and robin drop a huge bombshell that has to do with hawkins/the upside down, specifically pertaining to el, which they pieced together after talking to victor creel

we get a massive cliffhanger, season 5 starts like 10 minutes after the ending of season 4