#idk if I like this one as much as the speak now one
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(yandere! bully victim x gn! bully reader) (cw: erm... yandere stuff, body horror or whatever its called idk bruh, he kinda carves his name into ur skin but its not mentioned in detail)
"how does it feel to be on the receiving end now, huh?"
you shiver, letting out a strained sound as you trash on the table.
"pluh- mn!"
"what was that? you've got to be clearer with your words, my dear. how do you expect me to understand muffles?"
the male hums, his cold hands dancing across your body. you could only shiver yet again, unable to do anything but remain binded to the table.
"oh, sorry, i forgot you couldn't speak. haha, how silly of me."
yeah, how silly of him to completely gag you so you couldn't speak. how completely silly of him to tie you to some cold table, restraining all your movements so that you couldn't fight back against him. how absolutely whimsical for him to be recording all your grunts, groans, and whines while you were completely restrained.
well, you suppose it's a bit ironic. considering that you were the one doing it to him when the both of you were younger. albeit not on this level.
you wonder if this was how he felt. vulnerable, naked, defenseless.
it happened so long ago, but the wounds you inflicted on him were still fresh. no matter how hard you try apologizing, his scars still bleed warm.
you shouldn't have been mean to him. you really shouldn't. especially when he was so much nicer back then.
"mn... you have no idea how much I've wanted to do this. it really makes me happy to see you so..."
he pauses, eyes raking over your form that was tied down to his table.
"so weak."
we've all watched the movies where the bully gets put in place and completely punished. you used to laugh at those films. i mean, how could the bully even be so stupid to get karma for their actions? couldn't they have hid better? tried making up for it? why did they have to go through the consequences of their actions? what idiots!
but now that it's happening to you, you wish you hadn't said those words.
the second you found out that your ex-victim was your boss, you couldn't even as much as utter a word. no, you felt like you were about to have a mental breakdown. especially because you were now his secretary, working for him.
"come on, what happened to that big, scary, and mean ol' bully that i knew? the one that used to pour water over my head and have their friends restrain me?"
his words have a hunt of condescension- no, they were fully condescending. he was mocking you right now. mocking you for your stupidity, mocking you for your actions. and he was absolutely taking pleasure in seeing you in such a weak and reduced state. a shell of the person you once were.
you couldn't do anything but to take it like the loser you were.
"haha, look at you. all tied down and gagged like the dog you are. why don't you bark for me? maybe I'll be nicer if you act like a stupid bitch in heat."
he laughs, hands resting on your clothed abdomen. his hair falls over his eyes, the usual up kept man looking like a mess as he continues to taunt you.
"you know, when i confessed to liking you, i never expected you to bully me. seriously. i thought you'd be like, I don't know, nice about it. if you were nice I don't think I'd have stalked you and do all this. would've courted you normally until you accepted. I'm a patient guy after all."
the words that come out of his mouth have just the tiniest bit of sadness in them. however, it's completely squashed down by the sharp look in his eyes.
"had i known you'd be such an ass about it... I'd have just taken you for myself right there and then. who cares about having a normal relationship, right? as long as you're with me, it's all that matters."
right, like what he was doing right now. ever since you started working for him he's been constantly... acting like he was your boyfriend rather than your boss. constantly giving you gifts, telling you that it was okay that you bullied him because he knows you're just shy and that he'll make things right... the worst part was when he forbid you from interacting with others.
it was fucking creepy.
things were only worsened when he found you on a night out at a bar, flirting with some random stranger. you had wanted to let loose and relieve some stress but it looks like karma loved to see you suffer.
"what are you doing? are you cheating on me?"
what the fuck?! you stare at your boss in horror, freezing in place. quickly turning back to the stranger you were flirting with, you shake your head and apologize, explaining that your boss was just a little weird. why the hell is he even here?!
"look, I'm sorry but he's a bit of a creep and-"
"my darling, i think it's time we go back home. you've had one too many drinks."
that experience was only the start of an even worser time. one that led him to declare to the whole damn world that you were now his in a fit of anger and mania. i mean, he practically has you locked in his house now. and it wasn't even illegal since you agreed to come.
he had called you to sort out some paperwork or whatever and you being his secretary... you couldn't refuse even if you wanted to. so you made your way to his house, all naive and ignorant of what was to come the second he opened those doors to that luxurious mansion of his.
you passed out and the next thing you knew, you were restrained to the table, gagged and staring at him with a half lidded look in your eyes.
god damn it, you should've known better than to believe this crazy guy's words. why would you willingly go to his place where there'd be no one but you two? ugh, stupid, stupid, stupid.
and now you could only express how terrified you were with your eyes and shivering body.
"how cute. how seriously cute. I've always wanted to see you look at me with that expression."
he coos, lips stretched into a smirk as he leans down to your face. his breath hits your skin, cold hands trailing up your chest and to your jaw before he grips hard.
"you're mine. it wasn't clear when i was just a boy but you've always been mine. since the day i let you bullied me, and even right now, I've made it clear. you're mine, and always will be mine."
he's right, you've always been his. why else would this rich and obviously powerful guy just let you bully him? he could've had you gone the second you made a move on him but instead...
"i still remember the slaps and bruises you left on me. ah... you were so cute back then. hitting me like that. should've scarred me too, maybe then I'd see your horrified face whenever i flashed it."
a sadist. you're sure that he's some sort of sadistic masochist.
"oh well, it's no matter. I've done that job for you."
he pulls away, unbuttoning his shirt to reveal his bare upper body to you. to say that you were completely terrified would be an understatement. because why the hell was your first name (and his last name btw) painfully carved into his other flawless skin? right above his heart, no less!
"isn't it beautiful? you're forever with me now."
his words send a chill down your body. what the hell, you don't want to be with him at all! and it looks like he sensed that but chose to ignore your feelings.
your boss smiles at you before pulling out a small blade from his pants.
oh hell nah.
"it's your turn, darling."
no no no, you don't like where this is going. your body trashes violently against the cold hard table he had you strapped in, pupils blown wide as adrenaline fills your veins.
"mgh! mf!"
"hey hey, quiet down. it's only fair that i get to do it to you, right? consider this my payback. you had your fun and now I'm having mine."
no! shit shit shit, what are you supposed to do?!
you try shaking your head, sweat forming on your skin as your breath grows laboured. your body continues to trash against the bindings, but it looks like the bindings were done just a little too well.
"hm... should i do it somewhere visible? or maybe... right where your heart would be?"
you shake violently, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes.
"nh! mh!"
"aw, is my little darling about to cry? that's so cute. go on, cry for me. cry for me just like i cried for you."
tears fall down your cheeks as he trails the vlade over your clothes. the sharpness of the item has you shivering, cold dread creeping up your spine at the very thought of that anywhere on your skin.
"hm... since you look so scared, I'll carve my initials instead of my full name. how about that? a good offer if i say so myself."
if you could speak, you'd be cursing and begging him to stop. unfortunately that wasn't the case and your boss took your lack of words as the green light.
"don't worry, I'll kiss your pain away afterwards. it'll be over before you know it."
oh god damn it, you really should've just politely rejected him when he confessed.
#yandere#tw yandere#yandere x reader#yandere drabbles#yandere scenarios#yandere imagines#yandere concepts#yandere bully victim#yandere bully victim x reader#yandere ceo#yandere ceo x reader#gn reader#suiana rambling#suiana brainrotting
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Hate is such a strong word
Pairing: Bully!Ran Haitani x F!Reader
Word count: 860
Warnings: MDNI, hate fuck sort of, very confused and obsessed Ran, degradation, corruption kink, bullying, mean Ran, noncon, tongue kissing, PiV, cunnilingus, fingering, words such as cock/pussy/cunt/whore/bitch/slut, headcanon-ish format. Idk… let me know if I missed anything!
Bully!Ran who hates your guts. He sees you walking around all pristine and clean. Not a single hair was out of place. He hates that. Not even makeup he could imagine running down your face when he eventually makes you cry.
Bully!Ran who can’t stand your voice when you speak in class. He hates your laughter when you’re talking with your friends at lunch and above all, he despises your humming when you’re standing in front of your locker. His locker is in the same row and has to stand your shitty voice every damn time.
Bully!Ran who can’t even stand being near you so he makes Rindou throw your books to the floor, send your phone flying, and pull your well-kept hair. Ran sickly enjoys watching you on your knees after his brother trips you.
Bully!Ran who got tired of you. Tired of you not noticing all the things you made him feel.
Bully!Ran who one morning snatched you up from your last class, cornering you in the gym closet. Oh, how he relished in your begging. You were gonna lose your perfect attendance? He couldn’t care less. You were gonna miss an important class? Fuck that.
Bully!Ran who clamped your face in one hand, wishing that you at least wore some eyeliner or lipgloss so he could smear it all over your pretty face he so much despised. He has to make do with what he has, right? Your tears and his cum would decorate your skin so well.
Bully!Ran who has you squirming like the worm you are in his hold. His other hand quickly wrenched away your white shirt, buttons flying everywhere and a constricted scream interrupted your begging.
Bully!Ran who despite your clearly terrified eyes and shaking hands, didn’t feel an ounce of guilt. On the contrary, he felt euphoric. Your trashing subsided, you couldn’t fight him, you couldn’t get away and nobody was coming to save you. Once you realized that, you became more pliant in his grasp.
Bully!Ran who squeezed your chest to his heart’s content. Pulling one mound out of your frilly white undergarments. He squeezed until you gave a pained whimper, and he wanted more of that. The frenzy he didn’t even notice he had— tenfold.
Bully!Ran who saw things clearer now. Amid the craze, he had an epiphany as his eyes focused on your face and the little inhuman sounds you were making. He didn’t hate those… no… he didn’t hate you at all. He just hated you for not doing all those things to him. Not to your friends, not your teachers and especially not any male in the vicinity. They didn’t deserve to even be in your presence. This… all this he was witnessing belongs to him.
Bully!Ran who with a frustrated growl violently crashed his mouth with yours, swallowing your gasp of surprise.
Bully!Ran who felt his whole body ignite as his tongue commanded yours to comply. Pulling your tongue out, his teeth gripped it harshly. a quiet wail from you and he was instantly bending your neck back and licking. His tongue traveled all the way down to the crease of your chest to your lips, lapping at your mouth and you had no say in whether you like it or not.
Bully!Ran who had you inconsolably crying on the cold floor as he buried his face in your cunt. Your hands desperately tried to get him away but it was all a game to him— you weren’t moving him an inch.
Bully!Ran who kept your legs wrapped around his head, resting on his wide shoulders as he called you a messy needy slut for being so wet for someone you supposedly didn’t care about. Every word from him was a slap to your swollen pussy.
Bully!Ran who pushed his fingers in your cunt, telling you how you sounded like a bitch in heat, calling you a liar and a whore for him. The squelching sound of his fingers violently moving inside you had him feeling sick. So sick that he stirred his long fingers deeper, feeling that spongy spot that had you yelling out his name for the first time as his stomach felt a sudden gut punch and bursting sensation.
Bully!Ran who cursed once he realized he came in his pants. He was fuming. And just as fast, he had you on your back with your shredded panties in your mouth.
Bully!Ran who takes your writhing body in between his arms as your abused hole warmed his cock.
“Stay— fuck… stay fucking still, damn it.”
Oh, Ran was going to burst again at any moment if your warmth kept squeezing him like that. Slow, deep thrust left you out of breath. Ran stretching out your little tight cunt around him, and just like that he kept pounding into your creamy insides.
“Such a good girl, taking what she’s given,” he grunted against your temple, “I’m gonna mess you up so good— fuck… you like that? You want me to ruin you?” His hoarse laugh reverberated through your bodies. “You’re tightening down there. ‘m taking that as a yes.”
A.N: damnnnnm… the first thing I write for tr after my drought of two years is debauchery. Ta-da? 🤗 ✨ I still feel so out of touch with my words N E WAY! enjoy K bye 💋
#omificstags#omi.thirst#ran haitani x reader#ran haitani smut#bully!Ran Haitani#tokyo rev x reader#tokyo revengers x reader#tokyorev smut#ran Haitani x reader smut#ran haitani#tr fanfic#ran haitani x you#ran haitani x y/n
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i saw Outsiders recently again with some friends and I saw Victor for Sodapop, which was awesome cause i went in wanting to see an understudy for him. Soda is played by them so differently so here are the biggest differences i noticed and my opinion on them (plz remember these are my opinions and like they don’t matter lol)
Victor plays Soda more like a teenager. and what I mean by that is he’s more 21st century boy and always making sexual innuendos and even daps Johnny up when he asked if Pony got Cherry's phone number 💀 I did die when this happened.
Victor is FUNNY. like Jason is always funny and Soda always gets most of the laughs from the audience, but while Jason delivers his lines like slowly (literally, he speaks slowly) Victor gets straight to it and his delivery is funnier to me. they’re both funny no doubt but he was saying lines i didn’t even know people were supposed to laugh at. At the end of the show when he said “yeah i’m cool with that.” people laughed, even I did, which is funny cause i’ve NEVER laughed during that scene.
i know people know this already but Victor does not take off his shirt for the beginning of the show lol idk but he DOES grab his [REDACTED] and I was like....bro.
Victor is less "emotional" than Soda in his breakdown. now, I don't know if it was just this performance, but each time I saw Jason, he was either crying, screaming, or overall just DISTRESSED. Victor was more straightforward and sounded like he was asking/pleading rather than distraught like Jason. It was good! Like, the moment before he breaks apart Darrel and Pony, he's sitting on the chair and sighs and I can see him break. It's less gradual like Jason.
His hug at the end of Throwing in the Towel was also different. Jason almost does in the same way every time, but Victor gets on his knees and hugs Darrel. it felt more like they were on the same level, while to me, Jason's hug always seems motherly, or older siblings hugging their younger one.
Yeah this is pretty much it. There's other minor things but this was my opinion. I think both are amazing.
#the outsiders#sodapop curtis#jason schmidt#victor carrillo tracey#I have similar opinions about one of the pony boy understudies#this was just fresh in my mind#the outsiders musical
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LKBS W/ A Quiet Kid
Finally getting back to requests :D. I put more focus on certain parts so it's not a copy and paste for each brother. Reread The Hunger Games recently so I imagined the kid being similar to Rue in behavior. Here you go @notbojack
He so fucking fine, omfg-
Back to the topic at hand, Tomas wasn’t the only kid his father took in
Shortly before his death, his father brought you home - a 12 year old kid who clung to him like wet tar
How did this come to be? Um, I’m imagining a situation where you were sent to kill his dad but he was like “naur, join us” and you did. Idk gang. It’s 11/6, I’m discombobulated
As we know, his father died. Now, Bi-Han is an asshole but he has limits. He wasn’t just gonna throw you out on the streets
Honestly I think he doesn’t mind how quiet you are
He’s not much of a talker either, so ya’ll just sit by each other
It’s kinda hard for him to understand your situation at first. After all, he’s a trained assassin. He’s been training since the day he could walk. To him, an assassin’s life is normal
Once his father is dead, taking care of you becomes his responsibility. This means that now he really has to be face to face with you during your worst moments
He’s woken up one day to the most awful screaming he’s ever heard. He can hear the strain on the vocal cords. It leads him to your room and he sees you screaming your head off in your sleep
He immediately wakes you up, expecting you to relax. Instead, you try to fight him off and claw yourself away from him. Only after reminding you who he is and a lot of convincing you that you’re safe and at home, you finally relax
You tremble next to him while apologizing profusely and that’s when he realizes something
This is the first time he’s ever heard your voice
I think this is when it'll really hit him how fucked your situation was. He was trained to be an assassin, yeah, but he still had free will
He's not the best at emotions, but I think he'd try for you
I wouldn't expect some long and deep talk about your past, but he'd watch over you more. He becomes very observant and takes note of your triggers
He's still strict, but he doesn't yell at you
I can see you jumping after he accidentally yells at you and he's like "ykw? I just might be the problem-"
Doesn't do it again
You have random spasms because of electrocutions. I can see him trying to find a way to help
He lets you trail behind him like you're his shadow
He absolutely will NOT say your trigger words
He thinks having your skills is something you should keep and improve on, even if they came about in an unpleasant way
You gotta fight for the Lin Kuei but I don't think he's ever like "go kill for me soldier!"
It's more like a... A uhhh "hey! We're going on a field trip! :D"
Idk if he'd ever ask if you'd like to sleep in his bed (he likes his space. "I GOTTA PUT ME FIRST LUCIOUS!") but I can see him being fine sleeping in the same room
Bi-Han and Sektor are your new parents
Overall, I think Bi-Han would be the best when it comes to handling triggers. You don't have to be a 10/10 social person to be helpful. He's just really observant and contrary to popular belief, isn't a complete evil dick head.
Y'all that's literally me next to him
"Aren't you black?" mind your business
Speaking of marriage, Kuai Liang meets you because you're a kid Harumi took in
I can see Harumi trying to introduce the two of you and you are NOT having a good time
He tries to introduce himself to you, but the second he steps close, you take off
He knows some kids are shy but this catches his attention. This ain't just shyness
"WHO THE FUCK FUCKED UP THIS HOUSE LIKE THIS? GOOD GOD!”
Harumi gives him the scoop thankfully
He's glad Harumi found you but damn, he wishes that never happened to you
He continues to try and be nice to you, but you either don’t say anything or take off
He isn’t really sure what to do at this point. Ya’ll are making no progress
This changes when one day he sees you sitting somewhere, scribbling in a book
You jump when you see him, dropping your book. He goes to grab it for you and that’s when he sees the amazing sketches inside
He’s not the type to flip through without permission. He looks at the open page and compliments that
“You like drawing?” *Nods* “These are really good!” *Shakes head* “Hey, I mean it. These are great”
He hands you your book back and you actually smile at him
*Hacker voice* I’m in-
You still stand behind Harumi, but you don’t look as scared of him as you did before
He notices you staring at him a lot, but he doesn’t say anything
Then one day you come up to him, book in hand
Which really surprises him because you never approach him
His mouth drops when you show him the drawings you’ve done of him
Your relationship continues to grow from this. He’s not sure how complimenting you on your artistic skills made you less afraid of him, but he’ll take it
He’s constantly encouraging you to keep being creative
He won’t look through your sketchbook without permission. He likes when you both look at your drawings together
Best believe he’s putting your drawings up like a proud father (if you let him)
I can see him learning basic sign language for you. Otherwise he speaks and you write things down
Ya’ll know that TikTok trend where two people paint portraits of each other? That but with Kuai Liang
His is awful but you put it up in your room anyway. This really squeezes at his heart
If you have other creative hobbies, such as writing, he encourages that too
Reads anything you’ll give him
I don’t think Kuai Liang is an artistic person in the sense that I don’t think he draws or writes in his spare time, but I think he still appreciates art
The father that stepped up
I don’t think he’d ask about your past much either. He doesn’t wanna push you. Whenever you’re ready to share, he’ll be there to listen
The little pieces you do share, he definitely remembers
Overall, I think Kuai Liang would handle the quiet and artistic aspect really well. He’s patient enough to continue trying to make an effort with you. Once you’ve opened up, he doesn’t take it for granted
My favorite white man
Pls make more gifs of him. Omg
I can see Tomas meeting you through a mission
It was supposed to be a simple “kill bad guys” mission but oh shit, there’s a child here
Now how he gets you outta there? Um… he beats your ass :D
Just a lil beating, then he takes you to Liu Kang in hopes that he can fix whatever is going on in your brain
Liu Kang is able to free your mind because god shit, but he says you gotta stay at the academy so he can keep an eye on you
Tomas should’ve been able to let you go, but for some reason he just couldn’t
He asks Liu Kang for updates on you, then eventually he just decides to visit in person
Now, considering Tomas is the one that saved you, and the academy isn’t a torture dungeon, I don’t think you’d be super alarmed when you see him
You just kinda stand there
He introduces himself, then tries to start small conversation and let you know that you’re safe now. You write you responses down on a notepad, which is odd but he’ll take it
“Do you have any family?” [No] “There’s gotta be someone out there missing you right now. You sure you can’t remember where they are?” [They’re dead. All of them]
Do I smell twinsies?!
Tomas knows the pain of losing loved ones and feels sad for you. He shares his story about how he lost his family. He doesn’t expect you to share what happened to yours, but he wants you to know that you’re not alone
This is where your bond starts. Maybe feeling safe in someone because of shared trauma is a bit wonky, but who cares?
He continues visiting you and chats with you. He tells you more about his family when you ask him to
Then comes the reveal
[I’m a bad person] “What? Why would you say that?” [I’ve killed people] “So have I” [I killed my family]
You write this long explanation, explaining that your first mission was to kill your immediate family
He’s shocked for sure, but he doesn’t blame you
He reminds you that you were just a child. Hell, you still are a child! You were also tortured and mind controlled. You didn’t want to do any of the stuff you were forced to do
[I miss them but I don’t think I’m allowed to] “Yes you are”
He couldn’t imagine carrying that much guilt around. Sure, he feels guilty about his family, but he didn’t kill them. He couldn’t imagine having memories of him killing the people he loves, and being forced to live with it
Tomas is very open with you about his own guilt and how he works to move on
It won’t be an easy journey, but he’s never giving up on you
Tomas becomes a friend, a mentor, an older brother (or father) all wrapped in one
When I tell you he’s never going to abandon you, I mean that shit. He’ll be by your side in everything and refuses to leave
He shares tips on grieving and guilt
Once you’re ready, he even takes you to your family’s gravesite
He lets you take all the time you need because he knows how badly you need this
Recovery is never an easy road. Tomas knows this from first hand experience. Doesn’t matter though because Tomas is always gonna be there to lift you up when you fall
Overall, Tomas would handle the guilt aspect the best. He has his own experience when it comes to losing family and guilt, so he’d understand how you feel
I feel like I keep giving Tomas the least amount of words, and that is not on purpose. I just be tired by the time I get to him😭. I still love you pookie
#mk1 2023#mk1#mortal kombat 1#mk1 headcanons#mk1 x reader#mk1 x you#bi han sub zero#bi han#kuai liang scorpion#kuai liang#tomas vrbada smoke#kuai liang mk1#mk1 bi han#mk1 sub zero#scorpion mk1#mk1 tomas vrbada#mk1 smoke#bi han headcanons#kuai liang headcanons#tomas vrbada headcanons#bi han x reader#kuai liang x reader#tomas vrbada#tomas vrbada x reader
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Who’s taking who too lightly now? Playfighting my beloved
Rabbit Marcille and stoat Chilchuck, yay for rabbitstoat au, for no reason for funsies! This is here that I reveal humanoid monsters are my top favorite thing to draw actually. I really like centaur Marcille x satyr Chilchuck so this is kinda in the same vein~ I was gonna do weasel Chil at first but then friendo said a stoat’s personality fits him more and I said yes chief I trust you w my life. Speaking of, my own Chil stoat-sphinx design is partially inspired by said friend’s here!
Chilchuck playfighting and trying to "teach her a lesson" bc she's not taking him seriously so he pounces on her and pins her down but she's just giggling and smiling and beaming and suddenly she’s bigger too she’s not just a ball of fluff all stretched and it all makes him feel a little something. Chil wanting to get back at her for her teasing but he can’t go too hard on the threatening bc he’ll want to pounce on her one way or another if he gets too caught up in it whooops 💞 Timeless marchil staple, put that man in situations
Smaller predator x bigger prey animal is very fun, thank you lucky-fy’s dunmeshi beastars au for making me think of them that way… It adds to it I think, that sort of "well even if I do want you you’re out of reach" bc like even if the predator does manage to kill it it’d have a hard time eating it all right away and idk idk…. It’s that "No. No she’s offlimits" he says at himself bc ‘it wouldn’t work out’ even if it feels right… The sort of going against nature in both that they wouldn’t want to kill each other and that the dynamic shouldn’t be going this way around, and that despite everything pointing to how they shouldn’t be able to work out they can still make their relationship into what they want it to be. -gestures- Metaphors. Well sorta gdbdga in this AU I just think about them frolicking in the fields on sunny days then having tension once in a blue moon and that’s it lmao. "I can’t return your feelings because I’d only hurt you in the long run" "🧍♀️bruh be for real". Chilchuck guilt & longing meanwhile Marcille is just chilling having the time of her life, either blissfully unaware or just waiting for him to get his head out of his ass
It’s like how Chilchuck is so tall for a half-foot, within half-foot circles he has no problem being seen as very much a man and a rather well-ofd handsome one at that, but as soon as it’s with other races the dynamic is completely changed and he’s kinda stripped of that aspect of himself in social dynamics. No weasel or mouse would belittle the graveness of a stoat as a predator but wolves and foxes and hawks may laugh at them yk what I mean. Sighh sigh sigh sigh. Them. He’s her rotten soldier, her sweet cheese, her good-time boy
Making their way in the dungeon like "you see this shit Chilchuck?"
#Marchil#dunmeshi fanart#rabbitstoat au#Meant to have this done for halloween oops#This au wip is from september help time is not real#I’ll try to finish my oooold sketch of feral rabbit marcille n chil soon i like it a lot#The fandom needs to get weirder. Living the life laios would want for me#Chil here feels sidekick shaped. Cartoon familiar energy. God I’ve been thinking about witch & familiar au way too much.#Princess and the frog marchil shrek marchil go go goooo#Marcille and Chil’s journey to find chilchuck’s ex-wife so she can give him a true love’s kiss to break his curse. bless#Cw#cw organs#Idk how to tag that one tbh. Gbdgdga I just thought the background looked distractingly empty with just a gradient but now…#Animalistic tension crackling in the air tearing each other’s throats out as intimacy. True love. That will be all#Gbdgd my favorite coworker worsties duo how did i get here
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okok obx4 part 2 spoilers !!!! like major so don’t read this until after you’ve finished or are okay with spoilers but it won’t make sense for you i don’t think.
i need to rant here bc no one i know has finished it.
i feel like this season , despite having some amazing moments, was just a bit lacklustre in a lot of areas. the relationships seems off and i feel like there was a massive disconnect between part 1 and 2. im going to go into more detail below.
so the things i really enjoyed:
- episode 6 had some of the best cinematography i’ve seen in a tv show in fucking ages! they way they included everyone’s reactions in the court scene whilst still focusing on jj was incredible. and then the scenes following that where the riot took place was so amazingly done i loved it
- i LOVED that we finally got to see jj actually let loose the way they described him in all the previous seasons. like we’ve obviously seen him act out and let loose but the raw emotions that jj produced was insane. he went full loose cannon and i for one fucking loved it.
- i really did appreciate the rafe and sarah reunion and i enjoyed seeing rafes character development (at the hands of sofia might i add). to see how she was the only one bringing him food on the boat and the small smiles they shared before the actual reunion, like when her and jb told pope and cleo about their pregnancy and she smiled at rafe. loved it.
- knowing that kie and her parents are at least on speaking terms made me really happy! and seeing her dad stand up for jj with the cops made my heart smile. they could finally see that just bc they might not like kies friends does not mean they aren’t amazing people that have so much care and love for each other.
- i am intrigued to see how they all deal with their grief and how the revenge plot pans out. i think there is going to be some emotional turmoil between jb and kie bc i have the feeling that jb holds kie partly accountable for jj’s death and i’m interested to see how they work through that.
okok now onto my anger with this season bc there’s a lot of it…
- we will start with the obvious here… jj. look i know there is so much speculation and assumptions surrounding rudy leaving or being written off the show and i’m not going to comment on that for the most part bc we will never know the truth. BUT i do think they didnt handle it the best either way. jj hated being alone and for the pouges to bury him in the desert… idk doesnt feel right. (yes ik logistically how could they bring him back to the obx? idk they have done more fucked up shit)
- the disconnect between part 1 and 2 was STRONG for me at least. it just felt really separated and like we just got over some major plot points in the characters between the two. like jj was having a major identity crisis and then we just kinda moved on. and i know is a pretty fast paced show especially with the amount of moving around they do but like huh?
- (this is a big one for me so strap in) THE RELATIONSHIPS OMG! they felt so off this season as a whole. and i don’t just mean romantically. i know it was to kinda set up jj’s death but the way all of the pogues had this significant drift between them and jj just felt odd and not like them. romantically speaking, jiara was lacking majorly. you’re telling me they had barely any physical interaction but they are meant to be together? it just didn’t feel right. if you’re with someone, especially someone you’ve known for as long as they’ve known each other, even with being less physical people, you’re going to hug and kiss and hold on to that person when they are dying or injured or even just going through everything jj was. didn’t like it. wanted more jiara scenes ( especially seeing them alone and how they interact when it’s just them. THE PREGNANCY TROPE? REALLY? after sarah was so visibly uncomfortable when jb brought it up previously… and i know it’s common when you lose a character you fill it with someone else but like what the fuck. it’s rushed and it’s so cliché. and it’s predictable. even without jj making that comment about naming their kid jj, it’s obvious they are going to honour him with that. cleo and pope are gorgeous and amazing and i love them. my only complaint is i want more cleo. she’s too stunning to not have more screen time. I WANT CLEO BACKSTORY IN DETAIL PLEASE.
- despite the feature episode and the part 2 episode being longer it still felt kinda rushed and like they were just skimming over things quickly. like i wanted some dialogue between jj and gr**f about luke and the abuse jj experienced but oh well ig. (i’m upset)
anyway, im kinda bummed with this whole season. i will watch season 5 but i’m not going to be anywhere near as excited. jj was such an integral part of the show for everyone but for me he really tied things together. the interactions all of the pogues had with him really made it so enjoyable and kept the lighthearted, teenager thing alive for me. like without him it’s gonna be hard to remember that they are still young adults that just want to have fun and live their lives to the fullest.
please discuss your thoughts and if you have any differing opinions let me know! i love hearing everyone’s thoughts on it all and am so open to discussions about it all bc at the end of the day it is just a tv show but it’s also so much more to so many people.
love you all
#obx#outer banks#obx season 4#jj maybank#jiara#john b routledge#sarah cameron#kiara carrera#pope heyward#cleo obx#i am so devastated
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I'm stressed right now, so— here I am thinking about mpreg!Bruce and how would he deal with the information that he's now pregnant. Because... well— because. And this is all would be very much out of character.
this would be for AquaBat, SuperBat, and LanternBat.
It's in one tumblr post bcs I'm too tired to make separate posts.
Arthur × Bruce
Bruce would be furious, confused, afraid, and sad at the same time. Because, he doesn't have any relationship with Arthur (or maybe not yet, idk). Also, it's only a few years after the first born of Arthur Curry's child. He knows Arthur and Mera has separated and still become good friends with each other. He knows he's older than he was the first time he met Arthur and if anything, this pregnancy then would be having more obstacles than if he's younger.
Arthur would find him in the training ground, tiring himself out of confusion as to what should he do about the information. He was just found out that he's pregnant after he was fainted on patrol, and Alfred was checking up on him.
Arthur would catch him into his embrace to stop Bruce bruising himself any further. To watch the realization hits Bruce's eyes. Bruce then get a hold of Arthur, leaning closer.
I'll make Atlanna and Mera (hell, also Orm, later when the babies has been growing up) to be happy and congratulating them. Helping Bruce in the process. Helping Bruce to live in Amnesty Bay, so Arthur, Atlanna, and Mera can keep an eye on him.
Clark × Bruce
Idk but I think they would be very much in fluffy domestic thing. Like I know He would be very much freightened still, but he's more calm. He waits for the right time to tell Clark about it.
Until then he told Clark about it, and Clark was a smiling mess even more. Clark knew about it, because he heard more clear heartbeat, a new one, coming from Bruce, but it's not Bruce's. And Clark also wait the time for Bruce to tell him.
Bruce would probably protest as to why Clark didn't let him know earlier. But, actuall, Clark has gave him signs. For one thing, he realized as to why Clark's becoming to be more protective, alarmed, and attentive to Bruce; Clark tried so hard not to make Bruce's stressing out of the League by making one himself.
Fluff. Domestic. Cute. Everything. I'm adding it right away.
Hal × Bruce
It was actually close as what he feels on what I was writing in Arthur×Bruce, but without the fighting. It's just him becoming more quiet. He didn't tell anyone about it. Just Alfred who knows about it. At times, he would excuse him self to go out from the JL's meeting room. Hal would recognize the unusual eye blinks as if Bruce is more tired than usual. He's continuously telling Bruce to drink more water as his lips sometimes was dry.
After two weeks of Earth time out for galactical mission, Hal's back to the Mansion when he found out that Bruce wasn't at the batcave. Alfred told him that Bruce was in his room all day. He didn't know if he's already eat or not. He asked Hal to tell him know if Bruce has ate the foods Alfred brought to his room.
Fast forwards, Hal sits on the bedside, Bruce's side and heard faint sniffle. They talk a little, to the point of Bruce telling Hal the truth. Hal asked "How are you feeling?" when he's given the time to finally speak after Bruce's story and sorry(s). Bruce got his head down and closed his eyes while answering the question.
Hal put his hand on Bruce's cheek to feel the tears coming down to his hand. He get Bruce's head up towards him. "Show me." Hal said, then Bruce opened his eyes, Hal sees the watery hazel eyes of Bruce. Hal could see what Bruce is feeling.
#batman#bruce wayne#aquabat#superbat#lanternbat#batlantern#clark kent#superman#hal jordan#green lantern#arthur curry#aquaman#dc extended universe#rainfics#mpreg bruce wayne#mpreg#male pregnancy#out of character
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Mild vent. Idk. I promise it’s not as bad as last nights utter mental shattering.
I don’t know what it is.
Maybe it’s a U.S centric Gen X mindset, or a remnant Boomer one from that “pull up your bootstraps” individualism thing, and no shade to any of the ones who follow me, my only point of reference are my parents and other older adults in my immediately family, and some friends families who tend to echo the same stuff—
Maybe it’s because a lot of my older family members never got to fulfill any particular ambition of theirs and had no choice but to work in fields they hate, maybe they overestimate how things work these days, and maybe it’s just me being an outlier…
But it’s so hard to discuss jobs especially creative ones of any kind when I’m the kind of person who is just… content working beneath somebody else. Or at least within a group professionally.
I don’t really have the ambition to start any individual practice or “be my own boss” so to speak. I don’t even feel comfortable in positions where I’m in charge of myself.
I don’t disagree that if that were to happen I’d probably be competent. I just feel more at ease and in my element when I’m able to just be given a task or assignment in a group setting and just doing it. Then going home and not think about it.
And if I outwardly say that I’m just… fine in that position I’m looked at weird and getting lectured about it. It’s not like I don’t get it… and I’m sure they just want better out of me or have a positive outlook that I could “be my own boss” in a hypothetical and have my own little business and be successful. As much as I do doubt myself in most cases, I just don’t feel any connection to those proposals at all.
I legitimately do not that any desire to do those things. At least, not now nor ever in the last few years. It just doesn’t really appeal to me.
I’ve never even got my foot in the door in a normal way yet to even know if a leap like that would work or is something I want.
I just know I’m genuinely more content just being given a task, doing it well (regardless if it ever surfaces, most don’t), and moving onto the next thing. I’m usually at my best there.
It’s a weird spot when I’m told that I can allegedly do “anything”, but when I say I just want to remain low key and I’m fine working under someone else, that suddenly isn’t a viable thing to be okay with.
“Oh you don’t wanna do THAT-“ “why dont you do this instead??” “im sure you could do this that and third and have your own —“ meanwhile I know every single one of them wanted that self sufficient whatever for themselves but never got it.
And it’s not like I’m not blind enough to see how hard, insular, exploitative and under-appreciated creative fields can be (and downright abusive, even).
I just… don’t have an urge nor want to do the most “ideal” and individualistic thing ever. I know what they’re saying is out of this idealized positivity, I get it. It’s not like I was the happiest person on earth with my old non-creative 9-5 job, yeah I would rather have been putting my skills to use, but I also don’t have much interest in being some kind of independent art business owner. Whatever that would entail. (the homies were even talking con booths and junk, like, sure hypothetically it sounds neat and shoutout to those who do it, but it’s not for me…)
I’m just… fine not shooting that high, nor being that notable. But I also didn’t hate my old job setup either. I wasn’t always excited to go in (who even is), but I didn’t hate it. I was pretty fine just …working.
Not that it matters. I don’t have a foot in that door anyway.
I don’t know. I don’t remember my point at all.
I’ll be rid of this later.
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Taylor Swift (Taylor's Version) album concept
#Taylor swift#taylorswift#tswift#debut album#debut#debut tv#my edits#tswiftedit#idk if I like this one as much as the speak now one#but maybe you all will#1k
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#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#yakuza series#ryu ga gotoku 7#yakuza like a dragon#yakuza 7#ichiban kasuga#masato arakawa#ryo aoki#snap sketches#edit: two versions cause im indecisive about everything ever#this one goes out to anon ..... hi ....#Truly ask really did just. make me wanna draw em LMAO#idk why i decided they should get takoyaki afterwards but idk. best thing to do before you go to jail vjaLRKVKE#tbh i just know that whenever i was upset my sis would take me out to get food#it wasnt often since shes not home much but on the off chance she caught me on a bad day we'd always get ice cream or somn#ironically my sister's coming home from a trip later today and my sister's always been my best friend tbh so. funny timin for this doodle#i wont go on a mile long tangent like i usually do so ill just say my sister's really cool and important to me and i cant wait to see her#def why y7 hits hard for me ..... the FAMILY bro ........ beating aoki with a metal pipe as we speak#nuff of that tho. for now i sleep for ten seconds bye everyone
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Also hehehe. HEHEHE guess who I managed to get my hands on in OPTC
#The ONE (1) Cora & Law recruit in the ENTIRE game. AND THEY ARE MIIIINEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!#I saw that they were on the new banner and I was like well now I GOTTA try and pull for them#I’m so glad I got them 😭 They’re so fucking KYOOT#I’ll have to take a video when I do their max special it’s so fUCKIGNFN. ADORABLE#I love them I love them I love them SO much#Also idk why it took me this long to notice but Cora’s hat being pinned up to look like devil horns…#HE’S SUCH A DORK!!!!!! WHAT A LOSER (affectionate)#They are so silly 🥰#Shima speaks#One Piece#One Piece Treasure Cruise#OPTC#Corazon#Trafalgar Law#Donquixote Rosinante#Cora
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here's the prick i was talking about^ i have so many thoughts and notes about him but they're mostly incomprehensible so when i organize maybe them i'll post them who knows
#art#oc#id in alt#um ummm#idk. if you have any questions as always feel free to ask#ANYWAYS. geez making him has been so fun i love this asshole so much i'm going to put him through the horrors#salute to you Kordian if you see this if you hadn't shown me stalker i probably wouldn't be running in circles about patches now#more notes. i actually have no idea how magic works in-universe i just thought it would be cool. he's not good at using it he sucks. he's#shocked himself so many times probably. will that stop him? no#he practiced fencing for a few years so he actually like. knows how the fight flows or whatever. i think he definitely picks out targets wh#don't get their bearings quite as well and dances around them and shit like that he just likes to be mean i guess#idk idk. also he joins the lovelies at one point. that's like. semi-canon. it's sorta like with triumphant and normal walenty to me. like#they both exist but the. so to speak. evil one kind of doesn't in a way if you get me. i mostly thought it would be a fun thing to think#about. and also patches would do that and then he'd freak out like what the fuck am i doing and leave#another random thing about his pronouns. well i mostly use he/him for him. that 'any' is more in a way that if you referred to patches as#she or they or it or anything else he wouldn't care#but he usually doesn't mention it and stuff
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All I’m going to say I think now that my brain remembered part of what it was thinking is that Taylor and Joe went through a lot together (good and bad) and regardless of how it ended or what led to it they both seem to be determined to keep that private and not throw each other under the bus and in the end they’re just two very, very different people whose outlooks in the long term were just never going to align and never has that been clearer.
#I AM NOT DEFENDING HIM JUST TO BE CLEAR#I’m just saying… he said a lot of nothing in those quotes beyond ‘people on the internet suck’#which is true#and both he and Taylor are keeping things close to the vest about it all#and just seems to me that whatever they went through together they are determined to keep it between them so that’s the end of that#(again in contrast to how she has no qualms about reading m for filth)#he’s just some guy and now he gets to be just some guy forever#and she gets to be extraordinary#like yes the loving committed thing raises eyebrows given how much pain she was in#but like he could have shaded her about how it ended too and he didn’t#AND I AM NOT DEFENDING HIM#we know he was a terrible partner and she felt like shit#I’m just saying neither of them want to delve into the specifics and i think they’re just moving into footnotes in each other’s lives now#like i want to make it clear AGAIN I am not condoning anything on his part here — clearly there were huge issues#I’m just saying just because he may have sucked as a partner doesn’t mean the internet being cruel isn’t also true idk#and yes it’s transparent why he’s choosing to speak out now (or rather why the Sunday times is choosing to reach out to him now)#but like… idk i just can’t muster up any feeling about this man one way or the other lol#and take cues from Taylor (and even him) she’s determined to keep it between them other than the broad strokes#so I’m following her/their lead#(like I have thoughts about why but that’s not important and ultimately is just… it’s the most normal of ltr breakups)#like he just sounds a little pretentious with his ‘real life’ which like… good on him keep living that real life you do you dude#meanwhile his ex is flourishing with every passing week and milestone and is living her unabashed best life#and they’re probably both happier for it now
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people will think im ordinary until they say one (1) thing about tmnt and all of a sudden im explaining the entire lore starting from the 1990’s movie & why donatello is the best turtle i fear… T^T
tag limit fights me… i must yap… please listen… SOB </3
#tmnt yap in the taggies !!#would you believe me if i said my cat is named after donnie… teehee !! ^_^#i have been a tmnt lover since i was the ripe age of 6 years old SOBSOB#i used to write bf headcanons on wattpad way long ago… thats where my love for writing started i fear…#i probably have more tmnt merch than i do anime merch which is soso crazy to think about PHEW !!!#notebooks cups plushies legos shirts pajamas stickers tins action figs keychains name something and i have it… is that weird… SOB#im not joking when i say i know the entire lore and could explain everything from start to finish… FOR EACH AND EVERY REBOOT EVER…. wowza…#other than rottmnt because i’ve never been a fan of that reboot sigh…#the only reason donatello hamato isnt on my blorbie list is because i do not want to seem out of touch… he used to be there though !! :3#also i love raph too sigh#i fear donnie was my start to my love for nerdy men… raph was for the mean ones… cough cough akaashi and bakugo#tall lanky men… yeah hes a turtle… i know… let me speak… pls… i beg… T^T#tmnt 2012 will always be my star my light my beloved#i can recite every single episode </3 ALSO THE 2014 & 2017 MOVIES DONT GET ME STARTED i have them on dvd :3#i also have the 1990’s movies on dvd teehee theyre sososososoo good T^T my comfort franchise forever and always#i may always speak of anime but just know tmnt will always be the start of it all and my most beloved <3 its everything to me#also i was and still am an avid tmnt 2012 april oneil hater someone get her out of there i loathe her >:/#was never a supa big fan of leo im very sorry… idk who im sorry to… where are my tmnt fans… am i alone in this world… hello… tmnt fans…#omigosh im back after looking at my old wattpad story IM GIGGLING why was the writing kinda good… it was first person though sigh… goodness#i should create my own tmnt yap tag i fear… i will never shut up about it EVER SOBSOBSOB !! i even had a tmnt party when i was younger </3#donnie ( & mikey ) are so misunderstood UGH i could yap about the lore all day. donnie deserved more recognition he was always doing so muc#FOR ALL of his brothers and they never appreciated it… ill cry right now. donnie you will always be famous to me. april doesnt deserve you.#raph and his temper are so misunderstood too like please. always making him the bad guy HE JUST WANTS TO BE A GOOD BROTHER HES JUST AWKWARD#remembering when i had a crush on a guy names joseph in first grade and he liked tmnt too… joseph just know we were soulmates… i promise </#i used to go up to the tv and kiss the screen when donnie showed up. i was like 6 years old tho its okay… still sleep with my stuffie tho.#thank you to my yaya for buying me that when i had the flu hes still in perfect condition SOB donatello i love you so much UGH im crying#‘thats a mutant turtle ew !!’ HE IS VERY BEAUTIFUL AND LOVEABLE TO ME. YOU WOULDNT UNDERSTAND EVERYPONY </3 nia reference woah hi nia :3#whos in favor of tmnt. raise your hands up high so i can see them. im giggling. tmnt lovers rise we sha’ll prosper… WE RIDE AT DAWN 🦅🦅🦅#is this like totally crazy of me… has anyone read this far… if you have jusy know i love you. i cherish you. you are my everything <3#₍ᐢ..ᐢ₎ — lene’s latest gossip .ᐟ
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The latest UtR update on AO3 got me hooked and I could no longer constrain myself and had to read the other chapters on Patreon. Now I need to know: does Lucien have any redeeming character traits in the series or can I add him straight to the list of characters that deserve the worst? That attitude of his towards Faber made me so mad lmao
Hi anon!
This actually reminds me of the ask I got recently about how awful Augus is as a character and how it's impossible to consider him through a positive light after reading Falling Falling Stars. Because that's how he seems if you've never read him in anything else of mine!
My narrators are unreliable, anon. We only ever see Lucien very briefly through the jealous eyes of an insecure man.
(Spoilers for a future brief verbal encounter between Lucien and Faber in Underline the Red).
Lucien is an extremely vulnerable omega who is in an institution that has temporary custody of him. They control what he eats, what he does, whether he leaves or not (i.e. he's functionally imprisoned), who fucks him, if he gets to see anyone else, if he can talk to his partner and family back home and how often. He has significant psychiatric issues around his own insecurities re: jealously and his partner, and he clocks Faber as being in love with Caleb, and he's right.
And that's incredibly unethical of Faber, honestly, to not have disclosed any of this to Dr Gary (like Dr Gary will be right to consider firing him over this in the future). It puts Lucien's mental health in direct and severe jeopardy, and is ironically likely what causes his relapse that causes Caleb to suggest domestic discipline in the first place (oh, Faber, the irony).
Because Lucien's there to learn that actually a lot of his jealousy and insecurity is unfounded. Instead, he learns the opposite, that no matter who he bonds with, someone else is there loving his potential partner while he perceives himself as having very little control (and in the case of Hillview - this is true, all he has are his words).
He's a chronically disabled omega who needs a disability aid (walking stick) to get around, he's a second class citizen, he's agreed with his partner to stay at Hillview because they both recognise how sick he's getting.
Faber is not a mental health patient/omega like Lucien is. He's a staff member who is nursing unrequited loved to an alpha companion, that he's refused to disclose, while still interacting with Caleb and his omegas. Imho, while Lucien is very good at lashing out, he's not wrong to, and that's why Faber fully acknowledges what Lucien is saying and listens to him, and basically never interacts with him again, and avoids Caleb where possible.
Lucien's mean about it, but Lucien is right re: Faber trying to hide his feelings because he knows what will happen if people find out, and that it's also wrong/unfair to put Lucien in that position.
And Faber knows that.
So yeah. The reader is meant to hate Lucien on a surface level, in the same way that Faber does.
But consider that Faber also sometimes seems to hate all omegas. He finds the smell of their heats disgusting. It's actually pretty normal for people to go through a phase of rejecting the thing that they are, if that's something hated in society. Faber's oscillating mixed feelings of bitterness, resentment and cutting attitude is actually mirrored in Lucien.
Faber has thought extremely savage, scathing and unforgiving things himself to the people around him (and himself). Lucien responds to Faber like Faber is an omega (something Faber doesn't recognise yet), because Faber...kind of acts like one in moments like that. (Efnisien also picks up on this, Faber is not great to him in the beginning of Underline the Black, in a very specific way designed for Efnisien to pick up on, and for Gary to miss. Faber behaves jealously, and constantly suggests to Gary that he should get rid of Efnisien, before he finally adjusts to the absence of Gary in his life. Faber is possessive and manipulative!)
Lucien ultimately doesn't need any redeeming characteristics because he's a victim who is at Hillview to heal and Faber is jeopardising that. We can hate him, but that's just the fact. He didn't try to kill Kadek when he arrived at Hillview, he hasn't tried to destroy memories of James, things Efnisien has done even though we love him all the same (ideally). Lucien felt understandably jealous/insecure (literally the thing he's at Hillview to be treated for, safe from people who will be in love with his lover until Faber) and he lashed out meanly.
If a staff member of Hillview can't handle some rude words, they shouldn't work there.
But yeah, I like the Lucien and Faber encounter because they are both extremely similar people in some ways. They are both bitter, jealous, resentful people capable of very scathing thoughts (and words). The only difference is that in that moment, Faber is the recipient and we feel bad for him. I mean, I do feel bad for him. Faber is in a bad place psychologically, it's a horrible thing for him to experience.
If we were getting Lucien's story from his perspective, and saw the panic attacks he had afterwards, and the regression he went through, etc. it might be different. But it doesn't have to be! Lucien in that moment functions as a reality check for Faber, and a very effective one at that. We're meant to hate him, but also meant to understand that Faber's love for Caleb is not as subtle as he thinks it is in the sense that - omegas can see it for what it is.
I personally like the one moment where we see that Lucien might have a heart when Faber admits his parents are dead, and we can see that he doesn't react with savage satisfaction, but like Faber broke the narrative he'd built for himself in his own insecure, jealous, scared mind.
#asks and answers#underline the red#faber castle#lucien beaumont#efnisien ap wledig#dr gary konowalous#i've been writing for a long time now and generally speaking#if i want readers to hate a character they will#even if i really like that character#i really like lucien even if he can be a mean-spirited little goblin#when he's terrified of his future and potential security#but idk anon many of my characters#can be mean-spirited little goblins#efnisien introduced himself in this series with a panic stabbing#gary was a dickhead who imprisoned him until he pissed himself#no one here is a good guy#we just get to feel like they are when we read from their perspective#i love meaty characters so much#administrator gwyn wants this in the queue
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my sweet little baby man is no longer with us
#he had his bloodwork done yesterday and the vet said it was fine but he doesnt have much time left#and my bestie is a vet tech who wanted to see the lab results bc she always does and she looked at them#and asked me if she can shiw them to her boss today and i was like sure and immediately knew something was up#today keekki was being himself#then i went to run some errands and when i came back he was laying in front of the front door with his tiny baby head against it#and i was like ''oh ok one of his seizures?''#and theyre like. keekki will drool and not move and they usually last for like 20 minutes (several vets have no idea whats up with those#but it was probably either a kidney or a blood pressure thing)#anyways. it did not pass in 20 minutes so i Knew#i laid on the floor next to him#then my bff sent me a message asking me if i have the time to talk about keekki and its not good news#at this point i was about to call the vet anyways#and she was like ''ok i showed these to my boss (a vet) and she got super angry that ur vet even let you leave the clinic''#bc apparently keekkis bloodwork was so bad he should have been put down then and there but my vet was like a fresh half graduate#so i dont hold it against her. anyways i got an euthanasia appointment for this evening and spent the time before it laying on the couch#crying with keekki in my arms#i had to carry him bc he couldnt really walk without stumbling and falling down#when i had to get up to get his carrier and stuff ready he was taking a nap on the couch where i left him and i took this pic#anyways worst vet visit of my life i could hardly even do anything but nod half the time bc speaking results in me sobbing#anyways. this fucking sucks#i dont know how ill be able to sleep tonight#its been years since i last slept at home without having a little guy plop into my arms#i spent a long time with him in the vet room when he was gone#it feels surreal ive given him his last ever forehead kisses#as i left the room i told him bye the exact same way ive been saying bye to him for the last very many years ive had him#its always moikka keekki before i go to work or the store or literally anything#and that was my last moikka keekki#i hope he felt how loved he was#my dad is sending me older pics of me and keekki and he looks so happy in them. hes always right next to me#idk man im going to stop rambling now
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