#idk i think im just spouting nonsense at this point

[icyblogs]

sigh still on my brokeback mountain thinking thonks. this time a rift off of ghostprice. poor little you- set to marry Price. then the summer before the ceremony hits, and he comes back .. different. you two get married- practically pushed onto the older man from your family. he doesn’t open up to you- not like he ever has before anyway- so you continue to be as good as wife as you could be. naive, young- too inexperienced to know otherwise of what was happening outside your relationship.

eventually the first year passes, when you finally meet this ‘Mr. Riley’ your husband has mentioned in passing. he was his fishing partner. it was laughable really, when you first met the man. a fishing partner? more like a rabid dog, taller and broader than your husband as he stares you down opposite of the table. calculating. expectant. knowing. and when John finally tells you later that he was spending the night, was it ever a surprise when that night turned into two? two into three- and then you’re shackled, stuck as you’re thrust into a relationship that you never wanted. is it really a surprise when your ankle grows brittle with the cuff cutting into it. is it a surprise when you’re meat- a feast for the two men to sink their teeth into? a delicacy, tender flesh that blossoms so beautifully when touched.

you should have known better to ever let him into your home. after all, give a stray a bone, and it’ll never want to leave.

[nihilaraarchived]

some... sft tidbits. nsft are below read more.

generally speaking, kuro is a bit cautious about entering a relationship. he is a fairly touch-starved, and lonely individual, so he takes any romantic relationship he makes with another quite seriously. the biggest issue is however, that he will outlive most anyone he's with. despite his age ( in main he's about 3k years old ), it has not made it easier for him to manage the grief of losing people. so he's gotta just be ready for it, and find someone that's worth suffering that grief for.

that said, he is very doting, and very affectionate. his partner will always come before himself, their safety and happiness are his priority.

it's important to note that being with someone, gives kuro a new reason to really live-- and enjoy life. in a complicated sort of "im immortal and ive lived so long there's not much joy in living" kind of way. his flavor of nihilism is malleable, and shifts around itself, as he finds things in life that make him happy ( they come and go ). nothing matters-- except this person i've now devoted myself to. idk if i'm explaining it very well, but the point is that kuro is an extremely dedicated, and loyal partner.

yes he loves instant noodles, but kuro is actually a phenomenal cook. and being his partner means he's likely to cook for you any chance he gets.

being morally grey, his range on potential partners is quite varied. and he's at a point in his life where he'd probably be down to kiss monsters too. whatever man. so long as you're not spouting nonsense about ending the world for god- or... doing other shit that's problematic, or not needlessly cruel or over the top, you're good.

fella is actually quite charming when he tries to me. as if his awkwardness doesn't give him a charm all on it's own. he isn't mr suave and perfect, but he knows how to talk, and treat people well...

nsft stuff hehehhh...

kuro is not against having casual sex. pleasure is pleasure, and he's actually very capable of separating it from any potential romantic feelings.

i mean at this point in his life? he's vers, and he's a switch. he's willing to try just about anything within reason. tie him up, gag him, smack him around a bit. he does tend to lean more to bottom though, partially due to wanting to let someone else have some kind of control over him??? but he also just prefers it. he can top though, and he can be nice, or mean. again. just ask.

he might come across as awkward honestly, but he adjusts quickly. he isn't out here having sex very often?? or getting frisky with folks a lot??? kuro can go decades with no intimacy and be fine. so sometimes he just needs a moment to get back into it.

he... will usually prioritize his partner's pleasure over his own. a good part of it is due to kuro enjoying being edged. a lot. but he also loves watching them enjoying themselves due to his own efforts? it's satisfying. sometimes he wont even worry about getting off, unless his partner wants that.

reminding everyone, he is 195cm tall. ( 6'5 almost )

his libido comes and goes. it's honestly situational, and there are times when it takes a lot to get him going, or get him off- and times when it's pretty average.

i'm sure i could think of a lot more, but kuro is just? open minded and willing to try just about anything you ask.

[nohiketoosmall]

Talking animals and a thing that made me feel weird

-> Watching random youtube videos, found this video by an animal behaviorist/expert. I've actually seen that clearly fake video floating around,this is a good video and so I went to look at other videos

-> Has a handful of videos on "talking dogs" and how they're fake as hell. totally agree. "bunny" the talking dogs videos are extremely staged and edited together

-> Just like koko, which she has another video on. i did watch this but ive listened to the YWA podcast ep on koko so many times I know it by heart

-> Basically animals can replicate some words/sounds but they cant form syntax or put things together in strings like humans. It's just not something they evolved to do. The "studies" people refer to are generally done by the button companies.

-> And then I watch her video on the cat. Immediately different vibe. The owner appears to be trying to teach the cat in the first video this yter looks at. the yter keeps saying "i dont understand whats going on". in the next video the cat presses the button for "mad" (supposedly after the owner didn't come when the cat pressed "come"). the word "*anger*" pops up on screen and this yter goes "the cat is NOT angry, angry cats look like *shows image of hissing cat*" In fact she says "if you showed anyone this without the caption it would just look like a cat"

-> -> as everyone pointed out in the comments the cat had its ears back and was swishing its tail, it was very clearly annoyed. Whether or not you think that correlates with the cat pressing the "mad" button, whether or not you think the owner gathered that from listening to the "mad" or just looking at their cats body language, the cat was mad

-> -> the yter doesn't bother looking at any more videos or saying anything else and completely equates the cat videos with the extremely staged/edited dog videos??

-> In one of her comments she recommends the Jackson Galaxy video on the "talking cat". I like jackson galaxy so im like huh i wonder what hes saying

-> Galaxy basically starts off the video by saying he "doesn't believe cats are full domesticated" or "as domesticated as dogs". Talks about how dogs are different, kind of takes it for granted the idea that dogs can use these buttons to talk (?), and basically says cats don't need the buttons because they have body language (which a mostly agree with*)

-> Now I can't figure out whether I am just mad at those videos because I disagree with their premise or because I disagree with:

That yter completely misreading cat body language

"cats aren't fully domesticated"

Like I totally agree with the premise that a ton of these videos are largely staged and people are anthromorphizing, extrapolating more complex emotions from the button presses. Especially in the case of the more, uh, "existential" videos.

*But, and I don't want to sound like a quack for saying this. I think the reason people can extrapolate so much is because obviously there are certain sounds animals can understand. It makes sense and is reasonable enrichment.

In fact in the comments someone said they taught a cat to press a button when it had a dirty litter box which sounds like a fantastic idea because it sounds like something that a cat couldn't really tell you with body language. Hell, mine tells me by shitting on my bed. My partners family have a dog who rings a bell to go "out" and a button isn't that different. Totally reasonable enrichment, a thing that makes sense.

Idk im so unreasonably peeved at two videos i otherwise agree with i had to come on here and make this long rambly post about it. thanks for listening. other than that, I actually enjoy that youtuber and I usually enjoy what Jackson Galaxy said about cats, except when hes spouting nonsense about cats "not being domesticated" jfc

[cringelordofchaos]

(copied from my own comment on the "TMF ADHD Jake Sterling" video because I'm way too lazy to write it all down again. this is in relation to the HC of him having ADHD that I will self project onto :)))

ADHD Jake Sterling thoughts

I LOVE THIS

Ok while him spacing out often could very much be explained by just the situation he was put in, it could also be adhd. But he zones out a _lot_ and its worth pointing out. Hes barely paying attention to his surroundings lol

Hes also very passionate about stuff to the point of obsessions to the point of people making fun of him for it (like with daisy and music (yes you can hyperfixate on people)), most people with adhd have hyperfixations and such (obviously neurotypical people can too, just pointing it out)

Ive also heard of someohe saying he could have RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria). People with adhd oftentimes struggle with RSD. Rsd can make some people be really anxious when it comes to having to deal with rejection or others negative opinions on them to the point of extreme insecurity. This can make people with rsd people pleasers as well and feel guilty almost all the time. People with adhd are much more likely to have rsd. Of course jake could be neutotypicsl snd his rsd might be very well be explained by his backstory, but like ive said before, i just wanted to point it out. But him havig rsd kinda makes sense considering how hes so afraid of asking daisy out and stuff, and also how he was so guilty of what hes done (of course these things could very well be explained by other factors)

He also sometimes sort of.. misses social cues?? Or like,, be generally oblivious. For example, when he talked about losing milo in the soup isle, he didnt seem to realize it wasnt funny to others at first. Also because in episode 11 when hailey went ON to talk about how shes been thinking of Jakes apology and everything, and making it VERY clear that she understands jake and how she felt sbout his apology, he didnt tske the hint and instead hsd to ask for direct clarification to see if Hailey forgave him. This could be a mix of being spcially oblivious+ rsd. A,so i forgot to say: neurodivergent people, especially neurodiverse, often miss social cues snd have harder time socializing. So felt like it was worth pointing it out at least. Also idk if this is relevant st sll but hes a horrible liar lol

Also this is not related to him having adhd but just him being neurodivergent. And its about him having hallucinations. This might be very far fetched but he mightve hallucinated those three guys in episode eleven to be drew henry and liam for a brief second when they werent?? Or im looking top much into it and he simply thought it was them because he didnt see them properly and they had the same hair colours. Idk

Another thing is emotional dysregulation/being more prone to emotional outbursts. I think Milly shows this well but jake might have it as well?? He did get really angry suddenky at episode nine, and he does seem to get really excited when it comes to music or daisy

Hes a bit impulsive, suggested by all the nonsense he spouted out in episode nine, because he didnt think straight, and he didnt think it through. This could also be a combination of emotional dysregulation as well. And just overall pressure he received

He also stims sometimes s bit though rarely (like in episode nine, episode eight and probably more)(though granted neurotypicals stim too)

Also his experiences of being bullied and being so lonely, and having to learn to mask yourself and pretend to be someone youre not in order to fit in.. i can definitely relate to that (and many ND people in general can as well).

Also i think TMF might be a nd allegory, seeing as the message of the show is practically to just BE YOURSELF and accept yourself and stuff which granted is a universal experience but its definitely more prevalent in nd and queer stories

(Sorry for all the grammatical errors! I wasnt too careful while typing this, i have butter fingers and autocorrect is currently not doing me much favours.)

Edit: hes also hyperreactice, which might be a part of hyperactivity

[amberinn]

Maybe Winona mastermind (crack) theory?

Havent finished the chapter yet, but the mastermind is... well....

two horns.

one broken, one pointing downwards.

It reminds me of a thing in economy called...

bessa and hossa

or whatever it's called in english...

bull market, bear market.

bessa/bear market - A market with a downward trend

hossa/bull market - A market with an upwards trend

It basically means like...

stocks.

you have .... Securities? Guild? uhhh

and there you get to purchase stocks from joint stock company!!!

they're basically percentages of a company.

the more you have the more involved you are in a company.

think of a company like a cake, and stocks as like

a metaphorical cut of it you own!~

if you have 51% at least im pretty sure you get the say during General Meetings of a Joint Stocks company----

Which works on the uhh... What was it Sou in yttd called it? Majority votes?

which means you can decide what to do with a joint stocks company all by yourself at this point haha

Oh wait I rambles

Anyway the main quality of hossa/bessa is the way the horns are turned

Look look!!!

And I was just thinking.

The statue of the mastermind... Well the horns downwards are THERE.

but there's no upwards thing.o......

a horn is broken! jeez...

so anyway.

Winona is the ultimate enterpreneur right?

or whatever the word is called.

Okay shush... attending 3 years of economy school AND remembering words esp in a language which i havent learnt them in is...

I haven't worked on that enough...;

(im barely passing the school i was failing both class 1st and class 2nd

class 1st by three subjects, class 2nd by eight subjects.

idk how i pulled 1st class

i especially DONT KNOW how i pulled second class.

im scared for third grade here ... to be honest ... haha....)

There is a horn pointing downwards.

THE BEAR SWIPES DOWNWARDS

Wasn't Winona's like, symbolism animal or so a bear?

How's my symbolism connecting with a weirdo red thread going?

I know I'm spouting nonsense, but was it interesting to hear?

[lesharl-eclair]

ok so i dont usually do this but this luminous essay (!!) by @russilton deserves this post i think (it has been living rent free in my head for like 2 nights)

it *is* quite anti nico but it made me reevaluate my entire perception of brocedes etc etc. a little paradigm shifting if you will. (disclaimer is that the merc guys aren't my blorbos so feel free to ignore all the nonsense im spouting i am extremely unqualified to talk about this)

i made this poll bcs brocedes and britcedes are the antitheses of each other to me (vibe, attitude towards each other, press conferences etc) & honestly didn't expect that such a large majority picked brocedes. i thought it would be quite balanced for some reason (haha..)

personally i picked brocedes bcs they have a special place in my heart (2014-2016. the drama. the rivalry) and maybe it was also a dynamic that appealed to a teenage angst-seeking self? it was one of the things that really got me into f1 rpf (which in hindsight yikes...) anyway it was just something that had so much complexity and potential to me. maybe in that moment, at that age, i didn't realise just how toxic it was (and maybe part of the problem is that it was entertaining to some degree.)

and then after nico it was valtteri and i don't know. valewis is great, it's chill but there's just this inherent imbalance, maybe even resignation? valtteri and a whole slew of second places? winless seasons in a dominant car??? for some reason i couldn't and didn't enjoy it as much as brocedes. of course if we're really talking about who would be healthy for lewis then the answer is clear but in the absence of the Drama it felt a little flavourless.

by the time britcedes came along i was like "i'm not going to enjoy this if they're not equals" and then. i was promptly distracted by strollonso. which is ?????????? even MORE inherently unbalanced than valewis. so i literally have no idea what i'm talking about

i also think that the merc, coming into a period of practically unstoppable rb domination, has maybe levelled the playing field a lot in terms of expectations. like britcedes is no longer fighting for wins, now they're fighting for podiums. or like. top 5. ???. george *has* outperformed lewis on several occasions. lewis has matured. maybe more things are celebrated. (toto where are the upgrades1!!11!!! where!!!11) so it's not to say that there's such a drastic drastic difference in skill level or george resigning himself to the second driver mentality. george is capable of holding his own in races and he's a brilliant driver etc. he has that spark there in him and that could make things very very interesting.

i see a lot of things saying that george idolises lewis (i actually don't know how true that is) and maybe that formed part of my aversion/unconscious avoidance towards the ship. but i must admit that it is very nice to see lewis being appreciated and a relationship where they actually enjoy (!) each other. of course their story isn't over yet so yes!! there is a lot of promise i think, to britcedes.

i'm at a point in my life where there's a certain appeal to wholesome things maybe (after like 5 years of ferwis and brocedes and martian...........) when i see brocedes content on my dash it usually makes my heart ache but britcedes content always always makes me smile. maybe strollonso has made me see that there can also be a kind of beauty in imbalanced relationships. ofc britcedes is nowhere near as extreme as that, but idk. it's something i am at least willing to watch with interest.

i am genuinely intrigued. the two ships could not be more different (write me essays in the tags <3)

rb for larger sample size etc etc :)

[sashisu]

what's your idea that sounds totally like a reach 👀👀👀

it's definitely a reach but remember when gege symbolizes the current getou as headless dragonfly bc there isnt much of his remaining left. kenjaku has mahito's technique extracted and he can use it freely like the actual technique. therefore if getou is able to take control over his body again even for mere seconds and use the technique on himself and reshape his remaining soul as a whole again or simply get the brain away from taking over his soul, there is a possibility he will come back right.......? this still depends on the technique's limitations though. however im pretty sure it wont be an option considering how uninterested gege is in getou as a character lol

[haleigh-sloth]

you were talking about something a bit similar yesterday so I'm sorry for being late to the conversation, but I just do not understand people who are fans of the LOV and yet are so vehemently hateful towards Midoriya, and in turn most of the other kids. I understand the criticism that sometimes the kids get things handed to them by the story, but tbh that is just to be expected of the protagonist characters in a shonen manga like this one. even so however, it's not like Midoriya gets off free of everything that he does? his actions and his sacrifices and very actually very rarely ever truly appreciated within the story, just because he is successful in most of his feats doesn't mean that the people around him necessarily Notice (him only getting one internship request after the sports festival despite displaying amazing power and critical thinking skills, the Stain Hosu incident, even in the VERY BEGINNING of the series when he runs forward to save Bakugou he says himself that he was only reprimanded for being so careless in his actions).

I see so many people who are (so ironically) only seeing the story in black and white, when in reality these kids, and Midoriya especially, are being negatively impacted by hero society just as much as the villains are, they're just experiencing it from a different angle. (Which adds a whole other layer to the Midoriya becoming the greatest hero plotline, because the society that he is also fighting against is the one that was shaped that way by his predecessor- albeit unintentionally.) Midoriya is going to be the one to try to save Shigaraki, Midoriya has already become the greatest hero by actively looking past the actions of Shig and the League and wanting to help them.

- I didn't get to finish my thought from the FULL ESSAY I sent earlier (my bad about how long that ended up being lmao) but...yeah I was saying about how Midoriya is already a better hero at 16 than most other pros because he actively wants to help the League. Midoriya is exactly the kind of hero that the villains, and Shigaraki in particular, needs in order to have the happy ending that so many want for him. I agree that the manga has been a bit of a drag-along for the past few...months tbh, and I am absolutely Livid at the way that Bones has structured the story, and it's causing a lot of boredom and Tons of tension with people, but I feel like a lot of villain fans are taking that out on the integrity of the characters themselves, which is causing a lot of the mischaracterizaton of Midoriya in particular. n idk, I just find it sort of ironic, DEFINITELY annoying, and in general just.... :/ yknow. just :/

I think it's completely valid for people to just simply not like certain characters for whatever reason they might have, im not here to police people's opinions, but when people's opinions come at the expense of misunderstanding pretty key elements of the characters / story they're talking about, that's when I have a problem. FINAL MESSAGE I promise lmao sorry again for the 600 page essay

You're good lol. In fact, I've discussed some of this in-depth in private with a tumblr friend. Again, I feel like my DMs are being read 👀 anyway lol

So obviously this is going to be a long ass post so I'll add a cut toward the top. But I wanna start off with: there's a lot to unpack here and I'm going to preface with, I agree with you. But I also have to say that I see both sides, but when it comes to vehemently hating a character and letting that hate for that character lead to bad takes (which I see for Deku and another character that I'll get to under the cut) I feel like the overall point people are trying to make loses its grip because it starts to just turn into bashing, and doesn't actually hold water with what's actually in the story.

"I just do not understand people who are fans of the LOV and yet are so vehemently hateful towards Midoriya, and in turn most of the other kids. I understand the criticism that sometimes the kids get things handed to them by the story, but tbh that is just to be expected of the protagonist characters in a shonen manga like this one."

I'll be honest, I see a lot of people love on the UA kids. Especially ones like Kirishima, Kaminari, Mina, Tsuyu, basically any of the ones with personalities that are beyond "I have to get stronger! I have to catch up with my classmates and live up to everyone's expectations!" Which I personally feel like pretty much all of the UA kids have as personalities, save for the main five, and the few above that I listed. But for the hatred toward Midoriya....oy. Where do I begin.

Well, I actually don't see a lot of Deku hate on my dash. I follow a very small number of blogs, most of which are pretty in line with my POV of the story and therefore, I don't see a lot of bad takes.

A little baby rant inside of this monster post:

Yes, I have come across extremist villain-stan blogs that, while I agree with some of their opinions on the villains, I don't agree with their opinions on the hero characters. I've unfollowed blogs like that, because they started exhausting me and making me upset, tbqh. Like yes, the villains are the best characters in the story. But guess what? They aren't the only ones in the story. We have other characters that are important to the overall themes and messages. I, personally, really like the hero kid:villain set up. Others I've seen want the heroes and villains completely separated in the story and for the villains to save themselves without any help from the heroes?? Makes zero sense because the story is about these becoming true heroes, and in order to do that they need to challenge themselves by saving a villain. So...blogs that were spouting that nonsense, I've unfollowed and stopped engaging with.

But back to Midoriya. Okay, I genuinely, genuinely like Midoriya! I've liked him from the beginning. He's not favorite, he's not even my second favorite. He's in my top 5 though. But the only dislike I personally see toward Midoriya on my blog is for these problematic things that have occurred:

Telling Shouto he thinks he's going to forgive his father because he's kind, making Natsuo feel bad for not forgiving his abusive POS father.

Trying to "reach" Dabi the same way he reached Shouto, only to just cause more harm.

Saying Endeavor is a mentor who made him stronger??? TO Dabi??

Teaming up with the fucking top 3

So....basically...any time Midoriya has been interjected into the Todoroki plot line, he's been less than likable--AFTER what he did for Shouto during the sports festival. That was a positive thing, and it actually kicked off the Todoroki plot line really really well. It got us into Shouto's inner world and started his story off nicely I think.

And you can argue that Midoriya's flaw is being blinded by hero society and seeing the good in everybody, BUT--

This was LITERALLY THE FIRST INTERACTION between Midoriya and Endeavor. THIS set the tone for the Todoroki plot. So....all that stuff up there that people hate about Midoriya, is definitely valid. I mean...I don't think it's worth hating him for but people can like and dislike who they want. But this just reiterates my belief that so many things in BNHA come to a fucking halt for Endeavor's bitch ass. The main character included.

"it's not like Midoriya gets off free of everything that he does? his actions and his sacrifices and very actually very rarely ever truly appreciated within the story, just because he is successful in most of his feats doesn't mean that the people around him necessarily Notice (him only getting one internship request after the sports festival despite displaying amazing power and critical thinking skills, the Stain Hosu incident, even in the VERY BEGINNING of the series when he runs forward to save Bakugou he says himself that he was only reprimanded for being so careless in his actions)"

So, I don't entirely disagree but I do have to disagree to an extent. Midoriya's consequences have been a topic for a while now and everyone says the same thing. Nothing ever comes back to him, he doesn't ever actually fail at anything. His failures don't actually hold him back or push him to challenge his beliefs. Like...narrative consequences here is what I'm talking about. Midoriya only got one offer after the sports festival, yes that's a consequence of putting your body through ridiculous strain and self-destructing in front of everyone like that. But it ended up working in his favor because he went with Gran Torino who taught him his next big move, full cowling, which I think we can all agree was a major power-up for him. So...it wasn't much of a consequence in the long run. It wasn't a set back. And you're right, he was reprimanded for rushing in to save Bakugo in the beginning, which is coming into play now when we see that it's actually hard for people to step in and save others because everyone is so trained by society to just let heroes handle everything. Even though Bakugo would have died if not for Midoriya. BUT--what happened next? All Might gave him his power. That was a reward by the narrative. Granted that HAD to happen for our story to kick off, but I'm just trying to show how Midoriya doesn't ever actually have any set-backs.

"Midoriya is going to be the one to try to save Shigaraki, Midoriya has already become the greatest hero by actively looking past the actions of Shig and the League and wanting to help them."

"but...yeah I was saying about how Midoriya is already a better hero at 16 than most other pros because he actively wants to help the League. Midoriya is exactly the kind of hero that the villains, and Shigaraki in particular, needs in order to have the happy ending that so many want for him"

Fully agree here. I'll say that recently I've seen a lot of people making posts about how they don't think it'll be Midoriya doing the reaching and saving. How they think it'll be the LOV saving each other without the help of the heroes, how they'll reach each other's hearts?? Which...I don't even know what to say besides ask people who think that what they think the purpose of all these parallels and similarities drawn between him and Shigaraki are for, if not to bring them together in the end (and stay connected too--not just be yeeted from each other's lives), the two brothers who were separated from each other, and a teenage girl who was never accepted by her peers and basically forced to find family in a group of adult men lol. I'm not sure if you were responding to my rant yesterday with this ask lol, but if you are, I mean yeah I'm on board here. Midoriya is supposed to be that "true hero" that breaks through even the toughest, strongest walls, who in HIS case is Shigaraki. But not just him, Shouto, Ochacko, and Bakugo too. There's a kid:villain set up for a reason, so people who don't want that set up are either just....super super one-sided in how they're reading it, or it's just their preference and they're not actually caring about what the story itself is going to do. (Bakugo is kind of a seventh wheel....lol)

Again, I can't say I've seen too much irrational Deku hate on my dash. I avoid stupid shit for the most part. Most of the blogs I follow, while they may not like Midoriya, they still see the redeeming characteristics in him and still make valid takes on the story and take his actual character into account. But I have seen the irrational hate you're talking about, I've just successfully yeeted it from my dash.

Another character, and I know you didn't bring this character up but I feel this issue applies to them as well--is Hawks. Now...I do not like Hawks. I don't hate him, but I seriously just cannot bring myself to like him. I can't tell if it's his fans that have just ruined him for me, or just his overall vibe in the story. I don't even know at this point I've spent so long avoiding getting to know his character. But--I've seen villain-stan blogs hate him so much to a point where they completely forget that he is also a victim of society and has his own issues. And their takes on him come at the expense of....well, a clear understanding of the story. Now right now Hawks is being handled not-so-great, but even before this. Of course nobody has to like him, I mean I just said that I don't, but this irrational hate that comes at the expense of his actual character is annoying to me.

"I think it's completely valid for people to just simply not like certain characters for whatever reason they might have, im not here to police people's opinions, but when people's opinions come at the expense of misunderstanding pretty key elements of the characters / story they're talking about, that's when I have a problem"

Yep yep yep. I agree here too. So in a nutshell, no matter what character it is, if people irrationally hate them to a point where their takes on the story just stop making sense, yes I agree that it starts to wear away at the integrity of the character, and it also annoys me and I end up just unfollowing and I no longer take anything they say seriously. And there are a couple of blogs I follow that really don't like Midoriya at all, but they don't waste their time talking about how much they don't like him. They simply just...don't talk about him. That's what people should do because otherwise it fills EVERYONE'S dash with negativity that we didn't ask for. That's why I'm glad I've stopped getting so many asks about Hawks because I have never really had anything nice to say about him and after so many people sending me stuff asking to talk about him I started to feel like a shitty person for filling peoples' dashes up with that. I mean...I'm seriously mean to Hawks lol. I am. So yeah.

I don't particularly understand the extreme hatred either. I totally get not liking a character but that extreme hatred you're talking about I've made a successful effort to distance myself from. Thankfully.

[dragynkeep]

is the Adam artist thing about lisafahrenheit? I was curious so I looked at their blog and the only post I could find that would get that reaction was one that specifically condemned people who enthusiastically consume pedo and cp content to the point that it's part of their personlity. Was that enough to get you vagueposting about them? Idk I just think slapping someone who made a point of mentioning how shallow 'pro' and 'anti' labels are with 'anti' over that just feels a bit off, y'know?

1. stop fucking calling it cp, child abuse is not a porn category & both csa survivors & organizations who help us have begged people to stop calling it this.

2. the post lisa reblogges was purely about fictional content with ableist undertones, written by antis which we have both warned will earn a block. this rhetoric harms survivors, no one is consuming csem or "pedophilic content" when it's fictional & PIXELS. pro fiction people have explained this over & over & over.

3. if it walks like an anti, talks like an anti & spreads rhetoric like an anti then i will call them an anti; even if they don't "care" for the "pro/anti debate" like obviously they are enough to spout unfounded, harmful nonsense. especially when we're not seeing the same for antis who make death threats, suicide baiting, rape threats & doxxing part of their personality. it's only ever pro fiction ppl who say to stop fucking harassing people & just block. which is what i did so no, it's not "a bit off", im doing exactly what we said we would do on our pinned. good art doesn't excuse shitty, harmful mentalities. 💕

[skruttet]

below is some nonsense about snorkmaiden and then a little about her brother at the end idk it doesn’t make much sense probably im sorry i had a clearer idea of what i wanted to say when i started out but then i just forgot it all i think xD

I've always admired Snorkmaiden for her cleverness; she's incredibly brilliant, though she's also incredibly compassionate, so often she'll follow her heart over her head which can end up with her acting or doing something "stupid" (and in all honesty she does possess a level of dumbassery, just as all Moomin characters do! She does tend to be smarter than most, though). 

Similarly, she often allows others to take the credit for her own achievements because she knows it will make them feel better - and these "others" are pretty much always male, specifically Moomintroll and the Snork.

She lets the latter take the majority of the credit for catching the Mameluke in Finn Family Moomintroll, when really they never would have caught it if it weren't for her cunning and inventiveness (a trait often prescribed only to her brother yet I wholeheartedly believe she is equally as inventive, just usually on a more immediate-solutions-to-everyday-problems level), and she hands over the credit for her solutions & discoveries to Moomintroll multiple times in the comic strips, and even in Moominvalley, like when she suggests they should make their own bonfire but almost patronisingly calls him “my clever Moomintroll” when he remarks how the bonfire has helped them.

She does all this to indulge their egos and avoid wounding their pride... which to a modern feminist like myself I dislike and it makes me upset that she won’t take rightful pride in her own accomplishments and in doing so help them realise how capable she - and by extension, women - can be.

But on the other hand, she does do this out of her compassion and love for them. She’s avoiding any conflict or argument, and acting very similarly to how Moominmamma often does; offhandedly agreeing with the prideful male whilst clearly secretly knowing the truth of the matter.

Then on the... other other hand, we know that Snorkmaiden wants to make extraordinary achievements and be recognised for them; she wants to do “something tremendous, all on my own,” and is subsequently very proud when she presents the Wooden Queen to Moomintroll, even recalling it when she gazes at the King’s Ruby. So maybe she just doesn’t believe that her achievements are big or important enough?

On top of all this, Snorkmaiden appears to be a character who is very much affected by society’s views and expectations of women (particularly in the comics which play around with gender roles a lot; usually to make fun of them and point out how silly they are, though oftentimes in Lars’ case I do feel he can just play into & perpetuate them) and she does seem to value being perceived as a stereotypical young woman (weak; attractive; airheaded; etc.) over allowing people to see her brains and bravery. Whether or not this is a good thing, I can’t really say. Part of her appeal as a female character is that she is girly and attractive and graceful - as well as being smart and capable and brave, so maybe I’d just prefer her to value all aspects of herself equally?? (and of course there are many times where she uses her stereotypical qualities in clever ways in order to get what she wants).

ANYWAY I’ve lost where I was going with this now ummm I guess for Moominvalley season 3 I just want Snorkmaiden to start becoming more sure of herself. I mean, it’s tricky cause she’s already SO confident, but having that extra sense of self-worth to not let the boys outshine her achievements would be great. And it’ll be super interesting seeing what they’ll do with Snork; I wrote a post ages ago talking about how he kind of enhances your empathy for Snorkmaiden because he can be so sexist and belittles her but we’ll see if Moominvalley even includes that in his personality. It would make for a great arc for him if they do to some extent; like his sister, he too is very much affected by society’s misogynistic views of women (as well as the stereotypes of men needing to be logical and unemotional) and so he spouts some nonsense that I honestly don’t think he genuinely believes but he was just brought up hearing people say, and he also clearly doesn’t feel comfortable expressing his love for his sister so instead lashes out at her or acts annoyed when really he’s just flustered and is actually very proud of her and loves her very much. So it’d be nice to see him overcome this barrier he’s built and learn to express his emotions more clearly and gently, especially in regards to his sister.

[jade-untamed]

The Untamed Ep. #5 Re-watch

please enjoy this selection of text messages I spammed my best friend with in reaction to Ep 5. this got a little long and out of hand but I just have a lot of thoughts on these boys

---

Wei Ying is just so happy to see Lan Zhan. Lan Wangji doesn’t understand it And how cute! After their little fight Wei Wuxian reaches out and adjusts Lan Wangji’s sleeve where it blew up with the wind There he goes blaming Wangji again like take some damn responsibility bby Then Wei Wuxian starts spouting nonsense (not actually nonsense. My take is that Lan Wangji is actually very interested in who keeps sneaking to the back hills and how it might relate to the spirit snatch but also his uncle gave him an order and he has to follow it) so he grabs Wei Wuxian and starts dragging him back And the way Wei Wuxian just can’t stop glancing at Lan Wangji (who has no time or patience left for Wei Ying at this point) like he’s sizing him up and just as intrigued by him as Lan Wangji is by Wei Ying Wei Wuxian pays him a genuine compliment and Wangji doesn’t even react like he gets so many compliments in a day they don’t phase him (which is honestly why Wei Ying’s insults probably get to him so much tbh) And Lan Wangji is shocked when Wei Wuxian calls him Lan Zhan and feels bad for ignoring him for a lil bit. And when Wei Wuxian asks him why he hates him he doesn’t say anything because he doesn’t hate him at this point. He never really did. But then Wei Wuxian just keeps talking and walking and then blames Wangji again and he’s just like *ignores* BUT the next thing that gets a reaction out of Wangji is Wei Ying saying he’ll kneel for him and I think that’s very telling. I think it’s the start of the don’t flirt unless you mean it mentality Lan Wangji brings up later in the cave and that’s why he silences Wei Wuxian after that in the library. When Wei Wuxian draws the portrait of Lan Wangji I think this moment strikes me so much because it’s one of the first times Wangji feels truly seen. He’s been told he’s hard and rigid and has been the perfect disciple under the strict order of his uncle and brother but then Wei Wuxian captures the essence of him. He draws a flower in his hair. And it’s not meant as a slight in any way. It’s because Wei Wuxian sees the gentleness inside of Wangji that so few else do. And Wei Wuxian asks if it’s boring. Is it boring to have one’s self be seen by another? Will Lan Wangji think it’s boring? Does he say that as a defense mechanism to things that he knows will be distracting? Do you think Lan Wangji keeps calling Wei Wuxian boring in the beginning because he’s trying to convince himself the other boy is uninteresting when he’s obviously interesting enough to capture Lan Wangji’s attention and he hates it? Or does he say it when Wei Wuxian is being particularly interesting one moment and then acting like everyone else the next? Because everyone else bores him except for Wei Wuxian? AND THEN the scandalized look on Lan Wangji’s face when he sees the risqué picture and gets mad enough to throw propriety out the window and call Wei Ying by his formal name. And boy is ready to fight™ because that’s the only valid way for him to express his emotions because he’s emotionally repressed and is this flirting? Is this teasing? Is this being bullied? What is this? He’s never had someone do or say the stuff to him that Wei Wuxian does and says. And he tells Wei Wuxian to piss off and idk why but that’s so funny to me And he’s just like fine I’ll piss off im good at that anyway. Like bby. And when there’s a breach in the ward Wangji thinks it’s Wei Ying (also the smile Lan Xichen gets on his face when Lan Wangji calls the other boy by that name I DIE because Lan Wangji has probably not ever been familiar enough with anyone outside of family to use their formal name) and Xichen casually lets him know it’s not in fact Wei Ying. And Lan Wangji is just like ??? How did I get it so wrong? He’s such a trouble maker you sure bro? But he knows deep down his brother is right Also just. The sibling relationships. I have a whole essay I’m going to write one day on the level of devotion these characters display for one another. They show love through deep and endless devotion to each other and I think that’s really neat. Wangji all itS aGAInST tHe RuLeS when Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng show up with Wen Qing to help fight the water ghosts Trying to say they don’t need help Xichen fighting a smile cuz he knows Wangji’s just being like that because he feels awkward and then invites them anyway. And Wangji’s is like ET TU Like bro how dare you see through me like this I’m trying to be aloof and unapproachable and you’re *literally* making them approach me And then Lan Xichen to casually mention it looked to him like Lan Wangji wanted them to go. THE MORTIFYING ORDEAL OF BEING KNOWN And Xichen’s all...wasn’t I right? And Lan Wangji’s just like bro I’m having a crisis I don’t even like the guy but he’s also the only person who really sees me besides you and idk how to feel about that and also I think he’s really misunderstood and you seem to think that too and you approve of him so he has to be good because you’re good. And I...also approve of him? Most of the time? And people say I’m good so, again, he has to be good. And he is, I think, good and kind. But he gets under my skin so much and idk why. Do you know why, Xichen? You have to know why since you see through me and invited them even though I was trying so hard to play it cool But also the wording Xichen uses “you seemed to want the two boys to go together” and again Wangji sees how deeply Wei Wuxian values his familial ties and it makes him soft Wei Wuxian wanting to make a bet with Lan Wangji that the water ghosts aren’t actually water ghosts. And him smiling and saying I bet we think the same. Wangji says it boring because WEI WUXIAN IS THE ONLY ONE ON HIS LEVEL AND HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW IT. Wangji’s like yeah we probably will think the same goddamnit you’re too fucking smart for your own good why are you the way you are. But he’s right, is the thing. And for some reason Wangji can’t stand it that Wei Wuxian already knows him this well. Boring. NO BRO ITS NOT YOURE JUST IN GAY PANIC MODE Wei Ying being the first to suspect the spirit snatching and the water ghosts that aren’t water ghosts are related. Xichen being like nah my dude. But Wangji being like hm and then Wei Ying being like you think your bro is hiding something? And Wangji would never actually say it but Wei Wuxian READS IT ON HIS FACE and doesn’t even realize he’s kind of just up-ended Lan Wangji’s world by the ease with which he reads him and he keeps talking without realizing the gravity of what happened and Lan Wangji gets annoyed and spills out his liquor in retaliation because he’s actually just a little emotionally stunted and doesn’t know how to handle his feelings Wangji being high key impressed by how Wei Wuxian can tell the water ghosts was under his boat but also mad at himself for not noticing it first like smh he’s supposed to be one of the best cultivators in the world and this Boy over here saw it before him. Boring. (It’s not actually boring at all and he knows this. It’s interesting. Very very interesting. But Lan Wangji doesn’t know why it’s so interesting to him) Lan Xichen calling Wei Ying an expert and Lan Wangji being *rageragerage* about it because of the above but Wei Ying thinking he’s glaring because he got splashed a little is the epitome of how bad these two are when it comes to miscommunication So when Wei Ying walks over on the boat and is all whisper whisper nudge nudge we have an understanding now right? And Lan Wangji being as eloquent as ever is just like wahhh stay away from me And it very obviously hurts Wei Ying’s feeling for real but he tries to hide it because he’s TRYING so hard to be Lan Wangji’s friend and every time it feels like he gets somewhere Wangji takes two steps back And it’s actually a beautiful kind of dance that goes on for the whole story because even if it is one step forward two steps back they are always parallel to each other even when on different paths because they are the only two who can keep up with each other and that’s what sets them apart. One light one dark, yin and yang. Two sides to the same coin. Wei Ying being like *take me by the heart when you take me by the hand* LAN ZHAN WHY ARENT YOU TAKING ME BY THE HAND and Wangji like I don’t touch other people And Wei Wuxian is like dude you’ve touched me before. Bro we are intimate. Remember that time I almost went on my knees for you? Bro take my hand And when Wen Ning gets all ~white soulless eyes~ Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are the only two who see Wei Wuxian checking up on his bff Wen Ning because he genuinely cares and giving him a protection talisman and telling Wen Qing that even if she’s up to no good and making trouble in the neighborhood he still wants to help Wen Ning be safe. I think that’s very sexy of him Wangji talking to Xichen and being like hey remember when Wei Ying was like these two things are related right? And you were like nah. Well I think he was right how about you? But then immediately after that Wei Wuxian gives him a fruit and he’s like FUCK YOUR CHICKEN STRIPS LOQUATS and yeets it away (Like he wishes he could yeet his feelings) Xichen again like you want some? I’ll buy you some! But Lan Wangji unfortunately probably has a long history with denying himself the things he wants and the things Wei Wuxian is awakening in him are just another thing to repress so he rejects all acts of kindness from the other man for fear that giving in once will be the start of his slow descent into something he’s never allowed himself to experience before and can’t even properly allow himself to even want.  

[harfblarf]

more rick and morty nonsense-- this time, rest and ricklaxation

i havent seen any posts outright pointing this out so: we know that toxic morty contains a lot of morty’s insecurity-- “I don’t want to be on camera I’m ugly”, “my voice is annoying”, so on-- and that he’s scared he’s gonna be in hell, but he also outright states that he "just want[s] to die”. Also that he’s in pain. 

Other things Toxic Morty says:

“I believe you” to Rick, with no hesitation-- Morty’s occasional blind faith in his grandpa is viewed as toxic? Healthy Morty certainly doesn’t just play along with Rick’s ideas

“*screams*”-- panic

“yes rick, i-i agree rick”-- stutter, capitulation, submission, avoiding confrontation

“i think my voice is annoying” in response to rick asking what morty thinks of him discovering electricity-- vaguely self-centered in a depressive way?

“i dont like confrontation”-- yeah no kidding

“i-i dont like this, this is scary” fear, aversion to violence

“i’m a piece of shit but I got the tank” obedient, self-hating

leans on dash much like healthy morty did, looking resigned

“jesus christ it hurts”-- unlike healthy morty makes no effort to reassure others

Toxic Rick :

“you can die when I say so”-- controlling

“why am I bragging about that, I have nothing to prove”-- insecurity

“I’m surrounded by inferior pieces of shit and--” *looks at morty* LOOK IM NOT SAYING HE DOESNT VIEW MORTY AS AN INFERIOR PIECE OF SHIT I’M JUST SAYING THERES AN IMPLICATION THAT IM CHOOSING TO READ INTO. YES HE FINISHED WITH ‘TOXINS’ BUT COME ON that pause tho

hey where did toxic rick get fucking glass test tubes

*destructive tendencies*

“I’m gonna rip your throat--”-- violent boi

“you little sociopath/okay shut up morty”-- considers healthy morty a sociopath, doesn’t want to listen to morty talking about people hating him (did not shut him up previously, only now)

“don’t negotiate with that little turd, you’re the rick, you need to show dominance!” insecurity, desire for control at any cost

angry when his plan goes downhill, angry about remerging

“I got a lot more use out of that thing than he ever did” considers his sexuality a toxic thing, bound to his anger and irrational attachments?

“fuck you summer” no respect, no apology

“alright fuck this time for plan b”, but leaves beth alone

fucking throws healthy morty out of the ship. not his morty, not his problem, i guess?

brags at a very uncomfortable toxic morty

“trapped in your brain... with delusions”

“relax, quit your bitching, you’re gonna be fine... grandpa’s here”-- that same arrogance that makes him call himself a god, is what assures him that he can help toxic morty

“just do it you piece of shit!” angry but resigned to the only solution he can see (small picture)

Healthy Morty:

“mind if i put on some music?”-- considerate, nonpresumptive

the whole “one song a day” thing-- optimistic, planning, looking to the future

“if anyone could [calculate happiness], Rick”-- deep respect for Rick, respect for intelligence, flattery

“thanks rick. I love you”-- affection for his grandpa, appreciation

“if we’re all bored, wouldn’t the common denominator be you?” this is a clever joke, but it’s mean. cleverness/humor is prized above consideration and kindness

“I knew you could” and the rest of this montage-- uh so Healthy Morty provides the confidence Normal Morty is missing to a bunch of people. if that’s not symbolism idk what is; plainly Morty considers supporting and helping people Healthy

“*doesnt react to being called a loser, not even to deny it*” I wonder if this is like, self-acceptance

suave but still in an awkward way? like he drops a pickup line on jessica with an awkward forced laugh

“happy to help rick”-- but no surprise, no real emotion. like it’s forced

“bad phone, chuck it”-- acceptance of simple answers

“if something’s worth saying, it’s worth eye contact”-- considers reliance on technology unhealthy? interesting especially considering his interactions with Rick and all his tech

“you shouldn’t have to deal with that, man”-- curiously, despite making it his job to stop other people from being in pain (helping all his schoolmates), he advises against helping the Toxins

“I think i know what to do. *snaps phone in half*” destruction of property, choosing simple solutions

“things are good... taking that away from me? that wouldn’t be healthy.” manipulation, selfishness, self-preservation

“world’s greatest grandpa, for reals” more manipulation

awkward chattering, spouting shallow wisdom

“pronounce it however you want, words are just things” lack of judgement

“please, thank you, we’re having a conversation”-- shoos away the waiter to make jessica less awkward, being rude to the waiter in the process. singleminded, simplistic solutions

extended metaphor of jessica to a planet, including some like very specific shit, “what’s the equator, what are the holidays”

“talk to me.” demanding, assertive

really... loud? and aggressive, and awkward and emotive; very little self-control

lacking attachments, passions, “life is a highway”, “no sparks no damage”

...really long metaphors with stacey too. u ok morty?

“bad parts of us, which includes our dishonesty” (emphasis mine); morty has no question that deceit is bad. of course, that’s what a manipulative little shit who believes in lying “for good reason” would say, too, so.

stacey will “do anything for you morty”? weird, probably more evidence of his manipulation. quickly earned her devotion

“kill him rick!” morty considers his violence and willingness to retaliate “healthy”

bites toxic morty-- willing to use unfair/dirty fighting techniques just like toxic rick did

also grinning while he attacks him

casually stops and leans on the dash, blank-faced, when beth appears. again, no passion, no emotion at all

also healthy morty was in the driver’s seat and only settled once he was in control

“we gotta stop him”

the one to explain why Healthy Rick shot Toxic Morty again

“you’re a better man than me Rick, I’m healthy enough to admit that”-- healthy morty to regular rick. what does it say that both toxic and healthy morty view rick as superior? man, that’s kinda fucked, even if healthy morty’s actions here are totes dickish

“have I ever lied to you? that’s right, and ask around, I never do” manipulaaaaaation

uses jessica as yet another extended metaphor

draws attention, revels in it, offers falsely specialized attention to people to earn and keep their affection (the wink, the friendliness with “dwayne”)

“red pill or blue pill”

“totally understand dwayne, you’re the boss”, then cuts to... jargon that makes his coworkers happy. i strongly suspect at least part of a lie here, or an omission of truth

the boy is really obsessed with organic carrots, who knows why

“is that how long it takes for rick to trace my location” but he’s smiling, not scowling, he’s... at best amused, at worst unbothered, i guess?

“you miss someone that loved you so much you never had to love ‘em back” holy shit morty

“you didn’t hang up”--”huh. how ‘bout that.” then to surprise into mild consternation when the fucking voltron drones show up

“do what you gotta do”-- despite not wanting it, recognizes the inevitability of rick getting him to remerge

apparently healthy morty told his girlfriend that he was “capitalizing on his lack of conscience by becoming a stockbroker”. interesting

Healthy Rick:

“heheh, this universe”-- considers the universe impressive/beautiful/awe-inspiring (compare to ‘the universe is a crazy chaotic place’)

“that is an interesting concept... listen to me, trying to calculate happiness over here”-- respectful of others’ ideas, still brilliant and trying to improve on them, recognizing that math/science isn’t the solution to everything

“here’s something no science could measure: i’m real proud to be your grandpa, morty”-- pride in his grandson, acknowledging the limits of science

“morty, a moment of your time?”-- so polite hot damn

“what if the toxic parts of us have their own identities-- their own will to live?”-- inherent respect for the value of life

“i’m accountable to my toxins”-- considers responsibility and facing it healthy

“locked ‘em in a cage *hits it while smiling as toxic rick swears*” my guy what the fuck; theoretical emotion, no actual immediate empathy

upset, sad about toxic rick’s deception

“sorry summer” considerate, apologetic

“summer get out of here, go”

“we can resolve our issues, we don’t need to resort to over-the-top--”

“just leave her out of this”

“it’s okay girls, i’m so sorry” takes the time to be reassuring and apologetic when danger is still afoot for the world, offers to cook??

“not our right to stop them”

“your morty”/”i know you give a shit dummy, because I know I don’t”-- i think this is again about “not my morty not my problem”, and that Healthy Rick doesn’t care about Toxic Morty

“merge with me and you’ll know how to save him”... except once they merge there is no saving him, is there? just preservation to merge him with Healthy Morty

“I had all my problems removed-- my entitlement, my narcissism, my crippling loneliness, my irrational attachments” -- things healthy rick considers unhealthy are identified, but he’s still doing this in part because healthy morty insisted it was the right choice, and he’s still proud to be morty’s grandpa

“you’re literally incapable of seeing the bigger picture” so large-scale thinking is considered healthy?

“if i ever gave you the wheel, we’d be dead in five minutes” and isn’t that true, because toxic rick is willing to sacrifice himself for morty, and is too arrogant to think anyone is a threat to him? he would get morty AND himself killed if toxic rick was always in charge. no, letting toxic rick guide him is inevitable, but being controlled by him is unacceptable

Regular Rick: 

“man i really overthink shit when I’m angry”

“now it’s time we re-merge your little ass” interestingly his priorities were a) fix planet (what morty asked him to do), b) remerge morty (save toxic morty)

“that kid is a real piece of shit” (about healthy morty only)

“part of me really wanted to [save you], toxic morty. part of me really wanted to.” 

“tiny american psycho”

“kept asking ‘did you get a new morty yet?’“/”because you kept drunk-dialing me and crying about it!”/”I WASN’T CRYING” /in the background “I didn’t care” (what a liar)

Conclusion: as funny as most of this episode is, it strikes me that what Rick considers unhealthy, Morty considers healthy. Healthy Morty is violent, lacking a conscience, manipulative, domineering, sexual, and lacking in passion and attachments (he does, after all, abandon his family, not just Rick, for three weeks). Yes, he’s also less of a coward, not suicidal, and helpful, but compare to Healthy Rick. Healthy Rick is similarly lacking in passion and attachments, but he’s nonviolent, honest, less arrogant and less willing to impose his will on the world, nonsexual, and calm. Everything Healthy Rick isn’t, Healthy Morty is. It’s a fascinating insight into how Rick’s lies and denial are fucking up Morty’s perception of what is “healthy” and what isn’t. He has come to view violence, foul play, manipulation, lack of emotion/conscience, and dominance as valuable skills, even necessities, instead of the shameful attributes Rick views them as.

[legless-karamatsu]

I Wrote An Eight-Page Story About Legless Karamatsu, You're Welcome World

A loud scream tore through the Matsuno household.

                “My eeeyeeeeesss!!!”

                There was a sound not particularly unlike a sextuplet evaporating into thin air; then, silence.

                Todomatsu looked up from his smartphone, then looked down.

                Jyuushimatsu continued batting practice in the corner, completely unperturbed.

                Osomatsu continued to flick through channels on the TV.

                Choromatsu peered over from the top of some short-lived idol’s photobook…

                “HEY! Don’t you think there’s something wrong with that?!”      

                The photobook fell from his hand, falling in the trash can (where it belonged).

                “Hey, when you wave your arms like that it kills the reception, y’know?” Osomatsu looked up long enough to push Choromatsu’s shifting self-awareness out of the way; with that, the TV sprang back to life and picked up some daytime talk show.

                “That’s not the problem here!”

                “You’re right, it’s not,” Todomatsu piped up.

                “See? So don’t you think—“

                “The problem is that daytime TV is garbage, and you can find better content on any streaming site these days.” He smiled sweetly. “But you would know that if you cared to keep up with modern trends. That’s why one day, I’m going to—”

                “Yeah, I think I’d rather listen to that than that.” Osomatsu turned away from his youngest brother as his rant grew more fervent. “So, what’s wrong with something that sounded like Ichimatsu screaming and then disappearing into a pile of ash?”

                “What’s wrong with it? What isn’t?! Where did that scream come from—why—and—“ Choromatsu stopped for breath. “It wasn’t a pile of ash. That was very clearly the sound of ‘a sextuplet evaporating into thin air.’ Meaning, there’s nothing. Left.”

                “Give ‘im a few hours; he’ll shake it off.”

                “Brotheeeeers~” A voice called in heavily accented English. “Where are yooooouuuu?”

A scare chord sounded from somewhere.

                “Totty, change that stupid ringtone!”

                “Karamatsu, is that you?” Jyuushimatsu rested the tip of the bat on the floor. “Oh, are you going to pachinko again? Except, don’t worry, I won’t—“

                “Just a minute!” Choromatsu said. “Jyuushimatsu, shut up!!”

                “Y tho?”

                “Think about it! We…this could be a murder!”

                “A murder?” Bright lights emitted from Osomatsu, and the brothers turned their eyes away as his clothes fell off (seriously, no one wanted to see that—no, wait, fangirls, please stop—I mean, come on, he’s a muppet—all right, fine, so some of you probably wanted to see it, but I’m going to kinkshame you all the way through this part) well actually one brother who shall remain unnamed for his protection looked upon Osomatsu’s naked glory, but seriously there was nothing to see the show censors everything because broadcast standards anyway you should all be ashamed of yourselves.

                He reappeared in his Calming Detective outfit.

                “Well, if that’s the case, why didn’t you say—“

“Jyuushimatsu-niisan…” Todomatsu placed a hand on his older brother’s shoulder soberly. “Do you think you can hit a home run with Osomatsu-niisan’s head?”

                “Yup!”

                Seconds later, Osomatsu lay unconscious on the floor, a conspicuous amount of blood streaming from his head.

                “Nice; try to hit it clean off next time.” Todomatsu cheered.

                “Brooootheeeers~ I know you’re in theeeree~” Karamatsu’s voice called, closer than before.

                “I have a wonderful surprise for all of you, brothers.”

“Anyway!” Choromatsu cut in above all the horror movie nonsense, trying to steer this ship unsuccessfully back into mystery territory. “Think about it! Mom and Dad are out getting groceries.”

                “They are?”

                “YES! Because plot contrivances like that always pop up when you most expect it! Which means—” He pointed; it felt only necessary at this juncture. “Which means—Karamatsu has to the killer!”

                The room fell silent.

                Unfortunately, it was not due to shock and awe from Choromatsu’s excellent deduction.

                “Umm, niisan,” Todomatsu interjected. “Even Osomatsu-niisan could have figured it out from the ‘Broothers, where are you’ stuff.”

                “I—I mean, that’s true, but—“

       ��        They all jumped as a knock sounded on the door.

                “Brooooothers…why won’t you open the door?”

“He found us!” Choromatsu screamed. “We’re all doomed!”

                “Um, right. He knew where we were for a while now.” Todomatsu sighed. “Well, there’s only one thing to do…”

                He picked up Osomatsu’s hand and began to drag him across the floor.

                “Totty—what are you—“

                “Sacrificing Osomatsu-niisan for the greater good. He’s the oldest one, after all; he’s doing a heroic deed for all us younger siblings. How nice of him!”

                At the sound of the word ‘nice,’ Osomatsu’s eyes shot open. He gripped Todomatsu’s hand with his own, and, in an instant—

                Climbed to his knees, flipped Todomatsu over, and slammed him into the door.

                “We have a status quo to keep! Remember: no more than one nice person between the six of us!” Osomatsu rubbed sweat off his forehead. “The last thing we need is Godmatsu showing up alongside this Cursed-Matsu.”

                “Cursed?”

                “Oh, come on—it’s not like you don’t see the plot twist coming, right?” He nodded. “Mm-hmm. I feel like wearing this detective’s cape makes me more genre-savvy. So, for example, I can say things like *&#*(&% and (&#%& and—h-huh?!”

                A dark aura appeared from behind Osomatsu. At the center of the maelstrom, a Jyuushimatsu with a deeply terrifying look arose.

                “No. Spoilers.”

He beeped the burglar alarm in his hand once more for good measure.

                “Why do you have that at your age?!”

                “In case there’s a burglar, of course!”

                “Brothers. I’m going to open the door in one…two…”

Surprisingly, his count went past three, giving the brothers an indeterminate amount of time to talk.

                Naturally, they brought up a completely petty and irrelevant subject.

                “Hey, Jyuushimatsu. What was that about pachinko?”

                “Huh?”

                “Yeah, you know.” Osomatsu chimed in alongside Choromatsu. “Something about ‘I won’t?’ ‘I won’t’—what, Jyuushimatsu?”

                “I, uh—“

                “Don’t tell me—“ Todomatsu’s face Did The Thing. “You and Cursed-Matsu have been going to Pachinko—without us—“

                He took a deep breath, bulging eyes hitting their critical point.

                “That’s—not—a—very—nice—thing—to—do.”

All three voices spoke at once; the hive mind had begun.

                “W-wait, I—I mean—I—“

                Osomatsu grabbed an arm; Choromatsu grabbed his side. Todomatsu wholeheartedly took both legs.

                “Wait—“

                Osomatsu twisted the doorknob.

                “There’s—you guys—“

                The door opened, and the brothers unceremoniously dumped Jyuushimatsu outside.

                He screamed loudly.

                “It’s Karamatsu—he—has no—boooooEEEEEHHHHHHHH!!!!!!” With a fairly out-of-place final gag and a bright flash of light, Jyuushimatsu faded into nothing.

                Todomatsu slammed the door, slumping against the wall.

                “…So, did we appease the elder gods?”

                “208…209…210! Brothers, I’m coming in!!”

The door flew open as if kicked.

                “So…what do you think~?”

At the door stood Karamatsu.

                More precisely, stood half of Karamatsu.

                Where his legs were—there was nothing.           

                Or rather—

                Shouldn’t have been anything.

                And yet—

                Somehow—

                That empty space, far more horrifying than all the tank tops with his own face, all the sparkly blue pants and shades and skulls and horrific English vocabulary—

                It sparkled.

“UuuuuaaaaaaAAAAAHHHHHHHHH—“

                In an instant, all of Karamatsu’s brothers vanished.

                “But waaaaaiiiiit!!!!” Choromatsu screamed in the way that instantly dying characters sometimes have time to spout one final line. “If we would have just barricaded the door, Mom and Dad would have come hoooooo—“

                He, too, disappeared—unfortunately for everyone, he left behind the unwanted legacy of his self-awareness.

                “Hmm. You’re all just blown away by my beauty, aren’t you? Heh!” He laughed. “I must journey across the world to find someone who can withstand the beauty of my non-legs—if such a person exists—and learn the secret to their beauty! Then I will be the most beautiful man in all the world!”

                So he did. First, Totoko—

                “I’m taking a shower you creep, how did you even get in h—aaaAAAAHHHH!!!”

                Then, Iyami—

                “Sheeee—“ His signature gag was cut off because no one cares and tbh even imagining his voice annoys me (yes, this author).

                Then, Dayon—

                “Dayoooo—“

                Then, Hatabou—

                “You look very nice today, Karamatsu. Did you get a haircu—“ This one was slightly sad, and Karamatsu felt a twinge of guilt; however, it quickly passed because seriously that kid is messed up.

                Even the Esper Cat.

                “Your need to be the most beautiful is reflective of your achievement-driven personality, which in itself stems from your low sense of self-esteem and subsequent vastly overestimated self-efficacy—“ Luckily, he was cut off before he could spout more cryptic nonsense from a Psych 101 textbook.

                Finally, he reached the last place on earth he had not yet visited.

                Chibita’s oden cart.

                Why he had decided to make his way around the world first before coming here, he didn’t know. Perhaps he felt somewhat attached to the place he and his brothers had spent their Saturday nights for so many years. More likely, he didn’t want to be lectured (or kidnapped) over his tab again. Between the two, he decided, a lecture was worse—yes, it was definitely the lecture he was avoiding.

                Still—he had to have courage.

                For his fallen brothers.

                Even though he killed them.

                For his fallen brothers, he approached the stand.

                One last person.

                To see his beauty—

                “What’re you doin’, idjit?” Chibita looked up from the stand. “What’s with your legs? That’s gross.”

                “G-gross?”

                Chibita did not scream. 

                Chibita did not disappear.

                Chibita called his legless legs gross.

He fell to his kneeless knees.

                “Chibita!” He yelled.

                “What, are you proposing? I’ve got a stand to run, idjit.”              

                “No!” He screamed passionately. “Teach me—teach me the secret! To your beauty!!”

                “Oh, that? It’s pretty simple, actually.” He took off his shirt, muscles far too large for it popping out.

                Karamatsu gazed over his massive pecs, down to his chiseled abs, and over to his bulging biceps, all shining the shiny way sweaty skin does (idk man).

                “Chibita—you’re—“

                “Yes.” Chibita’s suddenly deep voice thundered proudly. “I am…bara.”

Tears flowed from Karamatsu’s eyes.

                “B-but—I’m a NEET. I can never become bara. I can’t even lift a five-pound weight!”

                “That’s actually really sad, idjit.”

                “What?!”

                “I mean—“ Bara-Form Chibita cleared his throat, looking desperately for something encouraging to say. “You can lift more than you think you can. If you won big at pachinko, how would you get it all home?”

                “I—I would carry it! As far and as long as it took! Even if I had to stop at every bench until I got home!!”

                “Or you could cash in the chips and just call a ta—nevermind.” He coughed. “Exactly! Now—just imagine these weights as your pachinko winnings!”

                He pulled several massive dumbbells from under the cart.

                “I—“ Karamatsu lifted the edge of one. “I—won—“

                His arms trembled.

                “A million dollars—“

                The weight trembled.

                “AND THE LOVING ADORATION OF MY KARAMATSU GIRLS!!!”

With that determined yell, he lifted the bar over his head. Immediately, his muscles twitched, then blossomed forth into beautiful bara flowers (see what I did there heehee).

                And suddenly, Legless Karamatsu was bara!

                “Yes, idjit, that’s it!” Bara-Form Chibita’s seductively slitted eyes sparkled.  “Now—let’s go show the entire world the beauty of bara!”

                “Um, about that,” Bara-Form Karamatsu mumbled—but in a deeply manly way.

                “What?”

                “I think I kinda killed them all.”

                “Now why would you—“

                “THEY COULDN’T HANDLE MY BEAUTY, OKAY??”

                “YOU IDJIT!” Chibita screamed—but again, still manly. “Why do you think I wear a shirt all the time? Don’t you think I’d want the world to see my Beautiful Bara Form? With great power comes great responsibility—you need a limiter!”

                “Like—“

                Karamatsu pulled his shades from his nonexistent back pocket and put them on.

                Immediately, his muscles shrank back in the light of his cringe.

                “Yes! And keep ‘em on, idjit! Thanks to you, all my business is gone!”

                “…I mean, not like you’d need it, since everyone is de—“

                “SPEAK UP, IDJIT! CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER ALL THESE MUSCL—“

                “I SAID!!” Karamatsu screamed with the rage of someone who has gone through seven pages of abject nonsense. “LET’S! REVIVE! THE! WORLD! WITH! BARAAAAAA!!!”

                He took of his sunglasses. Light enveloped his body, and—do I really have to write him naked—fine—something something he was naked and there was skin but like he doesn’t have anything below the waist anyway so uh BAM muscles.

                “THINK ABOUT IT THIS WAY!” He said, super manly-ly. “IF EVERYONE IS BARA, THEN NO ONE WILL DIE IN THE FACE OF BARA! WE CAN ALL WALK AROUND WITHOUT LIMITERS, AND BE BARA IN A BEAUTIFUL *~BARA PARADISE~* BARA!”

                Chibita breathed through his teeth.

                “THAT’S GENIUS!”

                So, much screaming and weight-lifting later (have you ever tried to make a corpse lift a weight? It’s nuts, man), the world was bara.

                And Karamatsu and Chibita sailed off into the sparkling bara sunset to explore uncharted lands and teach them, too, of bara.

                But it didn’t matter in the end because Choromatsu’s self-awareness would devour the world the next week. That’s called a Chekov’s Gun, readers.

                And now I’m going to leave you with the mental image of a massively muscular Totoko because everyone needed that.

[Mod note: God bless you this was an emotional roller coaster]