#idk i literally can't imagine finishing university.

[blunderbussin]

hhh.. course selection..

[orionsangel86]

I'm sorry but why do you ship them so hard? They just have 1 episode together.. I watched the sandman expecting destiel and it was literally almost nothing there. 1 episode. Idk how you guys got so much ship content out of that.

Ah nonny, I'm sorry but if you go into anything expecting Destiel you are gonna be dissappointed. Destiel is a behemouth of 12 years worth of gradually escalating gay subtext, queer coding, and romantic tropes. Destiel is the ship that people go into expecting that Tumblr exaggerated only to be blown away by how ridiculously gay it is even when it tries so hard not to be.

But remember, once upon a time people shipped Destiel after only a few moments of interaction. The first Destiel fic was written 30 minutes after Lazarus Rising aired...everything has its time.

When I joked that Dreamling was the "Destiel of Sandman fandom" I meant in terms of popularity compared to everything else about the show. The ships share some similar traits when compared on a grand scale - think ancient cosmic entity that has very strict rules slowly changes and starts to become more "human" thanks to their friendship with one dude who just so happens to be a hedonistic stubborn ass who refuses to die - but are otherwise very different.

But if you are wondering why people ship Dream and Hob so hard, well, this post goes some ways to explaining it.

But basically, look this may only be a half hour of television, but it doesn't equate in universe to half an hour of interaction. This half hour of television spans the course of 6 centuries for these two characters. There is a totally untapped potential hidden in the gaps between centuries to explore, and on top of that, the final meeting is left completely up to the imagination of the audience. Its a sandbox ship. Its a dozen fanfiction gaps laid on top of each other. It's at least 20 different prompts for fans to sink their teeth into. Its the potential. It's the what if.

Then on top of that, if you follow the comics, you know that the future Dream x Hob meetings also have a hell of a lot of potential to turn romantic. Dream going out of his way to hunt down a specific bottle of wine that doesn't exist on Earth anymore to gift it to Hob in his dreams, the very fact that he visits Hob in his dreams (hello common Destiel trope right there). They don't meet too many more times in the comics, but each time the tension is palpable. The meeting in the Kindly Ones is heartbreaking, because you can tell desperately how much they need each other at that moment, but they are both too distracted or consumed by grief and depression to truly reach out to one another. The comics never reveal why Dream sought Hob out at that point, but given everything happening to him at the time, its not hard to assume that Dream was seeking comfort from his friend - the only person he could really turn to for comfort at that point.

Then we have Hob's dream. One of the final stories in The Sandman original comic run. After everything else has happened, after the climax and all that takes place, after the smoke has cleared and you think everyone else has moved on and you are certain the ending is set in stone, you get to Hob's dream, and your mind is once again blown, and suddenly you have a thousand more questions. So many fans hopes and dreams rely on Hob's dream right now I can't even begin to express how important that particular comic issue is to me.

It's all about the potential. There is so much potential.

Plus the 30 minute scene we got was loaded full of subtext, romantic tropes, and queer coding. I dunno if you picked up on it, but I have an extremely long meta essay still in the works that goes through everything that 30 minute sequence gives us in terms of shipping fodder (I really need to finish that). Its not just the romantic tropes, the break up and make up, its the acting choices, the eye fucking, the freaking song choices in 1989 holy fuck could they be more on the nose.

Also, consider this thought experiment: Crowley and Aziraphale in Good Omens are a hugely popular ship, where their creator Neil Gaiman has confirmed that theirs is a love story. Whatever else you may believe about Crowley and Aziraphale, their story is a love story. Creator confirmed love story.

Now, Crowley and Aziraphale are the leads of Good Omens and interact throughout the entire 6 episode show. But consider the first half of episode 3. Imagine a version of Good Omens where Crowley and Aziraphale don't really interact outside of that 30 minute opening sequence. That the story was much more focused on the Them, the Horsemen, and the other characters. Imagine then seeing that 30 minute sequence which shows Crowley and Aziraphale slowly warming to each other and becoming friends over the centuries, shows them getting to know each other, do each other favours, come to each others defence, get into fights and break up with each other, only to make up later...

Would you still ship them? Even if that 30 minute sequence was all you got? I guarantee if I asked any Ineffable Husbands fan that question they would say yes. Because THAT 30 minute sequence is what solidifies the importance of their relationship and its what MAKES IT a love story.

Guess where Neil Gaiman got the idea for that 30 minute sequence in Good Omens from? Ah Neil, plagiarising his own work all these years later!

If Neil Gaiman thought that Men of Good Fortune would work well for a canonical love story in Good Omens, I wonder what he was thinking when he then adapted Men of Good Fortune for television?

THE POTENTIAL.

I ship Dreamling that hard because it has more potential than any other ship I have come across. It has 6 centuries and all the future of the Sandman show for me to explore, to tweak, to play with. Besides they just suit each other ya know? Like Dream is notoriously bad at relationships, but Hob is literally perfect for him. The more my mind dwells on how perfect Hob is for Dream the more I want to scream about it. Give the sad wet cat man a boyfriend who is literally his opposite in every way. Dream is a character looking for a reason to keep living, and Hob is a character who refuses to die. Dream is a pessimist, Hob is an optimist. Dream is afraid of change, Hob literally changes constantly with the times. Dream is desperate for love and someone to stay by his side, Hob just wants to love someone he doesn't have to eventually leave.

Let them meet in the middle.

[plegg-culture-is]

Fannish plegg carton culture, specifically protogenic-endogenic plegg culture that later finds itself to be full of permanent resident soulbonds is —

In very very early childhood:

*Projections literally playing H.O.R.S.E or whatever that basketball game is. Of course the main fronter never played, because they are too short.*

"Huh!! Well I mean those barbecue sauce was spicy before but it's 0.05 seconds later and I feel completely different as a person and also this barbecue sauce is no longer spicy. Oh well. The teacher called me a liar over barbecue sauce so I'm gonna be a shithead to them and have a meltdown"

In middle school:

"What would Gohan do if he was in this world???"

"What would Jayfeather do if he were in this world??"

"OMG. WHAT WOULD. IZAYA ORIHARA DO IF HE WAS IN THIS SITUATION JIST SOME MIDDLE SCHOOLER NOW"

*Has full-ass slow changing "see through my eyes" quasi-ceremonies based solely on vibes since we didn't have innerworld completely built yet*

*Chasing each other in hallways and all people saw was a small autistic child running for no reason lol*

"Why the fuck can I never feel my face when something horrible happens to us me? Also I relate too much to Silver from Pokémon HeartGold/SoulSilver"

In high school:

"Yep just Gon and Killua from Hunter×Hunter chillin' over there. Nobody can see 'em and these feel pretty distinct from hallucinations considering I can't literally see them. Eh. Maybe just imagination."

*Checking out a pro-endogenic blog in 2015* "Yup I am just a curious singlet"

*Still chasing ourselves through hallways just less or more hidden because people are stupid.* Why the fuck am I so angry all of the time. Why the fuck do I feel like there should be more to all of this.

"Hhhh Illumi Zoldyck from Hunter×Hunter patting my head is completely normal. So is pretending I am Ethan from Pokémon HeartGold/SoulSilver I'M NOT PRETENDING ThOUGH??? I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO CALL THIS all I know is I am definitely Ethan, , not Ethan? And Illumi Zoldyck is petting my head and we are working at a McDonald's right now. What the fuck is happening" *Proceeds to ignore this and never tell anyone until we are today years old*

"My vitriol for Hisoka Morrow of Hunter×Hunter has three sides to it. I hate him and his canon. I have no clue how to explain the other two sides to this and I cannot stand my friend obsessing over this character" *Proceeds to also ignore this one too, and never tell anyone until we are today years old*

In university:

"Hey 30 year old Gladion idk if you're actually a figment of my imagination anymore but yeah sure your sister Lily and her daughter Mei can chill in here in this brain for awhile. Does this mean I'm genderfluid lol?" (Narrator: this is, in fact, NOT what genderfluidity is supposed to feel like.)

"Oh well I guess Itonai from Assassination Classroom is just decided to sleep in the bed tonight. Get the fuck off of my bed ya lazy bum. Noooo it's just wei — get back in our head you freak (//lovingly, platonic)"

*Just feeling fucking uncomfortable around sysmedicalists but especially the sysmedicalists who were anti-endogenic as well (yes there are pro-endogenic sysmeds!! Uhm but definitely not plural, nope)*

"I am now talking to these projections while brushing my teeth. Lucifer from The Devil Is A Part-Timer has literally crash-landed into our brain along with Emilia Justina. Wtf?"

*Discovers the word endogenic yet again and gets the weird euphoria again*

*Maybe our late second year at university, at fucking 11PM, after anime club finishes — Kusuo Saki just fucking chilling on top of the table via projection* "Heeey so remember that one time in high school where you had weird daydreams about that pink-haired psychic boy and the blonde with drills? Welp, Mami Tomoe picked me up on the way here —" *Queue freakout of the main fronter at this point*

-----------

SO ANYWAYS that is. Uh. Some Stuff(tm) yaaay, anyways the good thing about this is we don't think our queer shit would ever, ever be as fucking weird as our plurality shit in the context of the societal context and chronological context we, Rusanya, live in, so figuring out we're aceplex (since we found the plurality first and asexuality is more of a veil) was mostly just an "AHA okay then lol" and we just kind of slap every label on the planet onto us that we like that we think applies, both on an individual and collective level. :D

.

[camellcat]

scrambled thoughts about s4 bc I'm losing my goddamned MIND

just finished s4 of Doctor Who. quick question: how the hell do you go on without Rose Tyler? I can't even imagine I literally. what.

like once s3 rolled around I really fuckin realized I was apparently very much watching this show for ROSE and her dynamic with the Doctor, not the Doctor himself or whatever else lmaoo

ONLY Rose has made me bawl my eyes out, let alone even tear up at all. I just can't even fathom being able to connect with any other plot or character like I did with her and her love for the Doctor.

I just ohh for all of s3 most of s4 I just missed her so much??? like Martha and Donna are great (well, I didn't like Martha at first and you can definitely guess why based on all of this but once s4 rolled around she was great!! loved her) but oh my god they were just no Rose Tyler.

plus WOW I really got so attached to her relationships with other people?? like Donna and Martha's families n whatnot made me feel NOTHING whereas I could not get enough of Jackie and adored Mickey (Mickey is family. he is. I don't care if he's her ex or whatever. he's part of the family). Captain Jack Harkness my one true love (btw just sayin I really think Rose and the Doctor should've gotten a hello kiss. maybe not the Doctor he did not deserve one for leaving Jack but Rose did!! hello!!! you gave them "I'm going to go die" kisses give them "hello we're all still alive missed you" kisses!!!). idk if maybe I was just so clocked out of s3-4 that I missed something but I swear those two just had like no really compelling personal relationships outside of the Doctor, and maybe like one specific family member (lookin at you, gramps).

the fact that Rose ended up liking Martha and Donna though??? dfindsnjdj dying dying DYING I love that she would've been friends with them both. they deserved to all sit and gossip about the Doctor like she did with Sarah Jane right in front of his face.

also oh my god no one why why why please PLEASE I'm not used to consuming sad media I try and avoid it as much as possible and this show is just. just. oh my god.

Rose is so close to what she truly wanted. she'll have a life with the Doctor, but not her Doctor and not the life she fought so hard to get back. instead she's still still still stuck in Pete's World, unable to travel across time and space and save the universe with her Doctor (and don't get me wrong, I love the idea of Tentoo, but it just rubs me the wrong way no matter how I try and look at it. it feels like when a character's memories are erased. they're still technically themselves, but something important is missing all the same. and that thing missing is the TARDIS in this case Tentoo is the best thing she could've gotten lol). I feel like I can't even adequately put it into words why her ending makes me as upset as it does I just hope you Get It. I don't think it would've been good for her to not have ANY other solid relationships like she would've had if she'd gone with the Doctor but also oh my god. oh my god.

and the Doctor is once again without his brilliant, fantastic Rose.

I really hope she doesn't come back though unless it's on her own terms, because she missed her friends or smth. I really hope she's able to travel the world and it be enough for her as long as she's got Tentoo by her side. I really, really hope she's happy and fully in love with Tentoo and they are living the BEST life they can.

Fuck. this SHOW.

[silawastaken]

HELLO, ITS CHRIXYTY FROM AO3!!!! i decided to make a tumblr account just so i can interact with you on here :3 why? because i can. dont question me. i do strange things sometimes. (a lot of the time) but dont we all?

(i was serious when i said i would stop hovering like a ghost and start interacting. you better expect a LOT of comments from me from now on BECAUSE I JUST NEED TO SHOW MY APPRECIATION.)

ANYWAYS CHAPTER 13 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️ THANK YOU FOR THIS WONDERFUL PIECE OF ART. THIS WHOLE FIC IS A MASTERPIECE AND I LOVE THE ANGST !!! (ESPECIALLY DAZAI ANGST 🤗)

like im not even joking no fic has ever made my heart pound every second i read it before...like literally nothing could be happening and my heart is pounding at 150 bpm like damn its so good you might give me a heart attack frfr.

chuuyas so dense but i can kinda get his point of view :( UGH the slow burn is just making me anticipate the moment he finds out dazai's his soulmate even more...(betting chuuya will punch dazai out of anger because he realises dazai did all those things to himself...and then he'll feel the pain from the punch and be 100% certain and will start bawling cause idk emotion overload?? i can imagine it but yea im yapping a lot haha)

OH AND HIS FRIENDS FINDING OUT ABOUT ODAS DEATH??? AHH

also it makes me happy when authors refer to the canon universe in their fics somewhere like when dazai called his friends his "little detective agency" like its a small detail but it just makes me happy.

okay im SERIOUSLY yapping way too much but i needed to get all this out somewhere. my bsf is getting sick of me talking so much grrrrr >:(

(permission to one day when this fic is finished print it all out and bind it?? so i can forever keep it as like a memento and pass it down to future generations so they too can appreciate this amazing piece of literature??)

wow i wrote a lot. if only i could write this much for my fic in such a short time during writer's block.

WAITWAITWAITWAIT. I NORMALLY TRY TO ANSWER THESE TOPIC BY TOPIC BUT BINDING. MY. FIC???? HELL YES YOU HAVE PERMISSION WHAT THE HELL??? THAT'S SO COOL??? if i ask very nicely would you make me one too..? I'd pay postage and everything 🙏🙏 i wish i had the patience to bind fics into books but it requires so much time and patience that I don't have 😭

My only thing I would want to say is that I plan on revising some of the earlier chapters where it doesn't quite flow the way the rest of the chapters do, so if I finish it before I've done that (which probably won't happen, but just in case), I would recommend waiting a little!

ANYWAY. making an entire tumblr acc just to interact with me here? ...that's dedication man🫡 I already said it but I appreciate EVERY comment i get so i will be waiting with baited breath after every chapter!!

Glad you're loving the angst tho, I'm having a lot of the time throwing dazai and chuuya into a washing machine full of stones every chapter. great character building.

The reveals are gonna be so fun I can't wait to write them honestly. I'm so excited!!! Still got ages to go tho, so strap in it's gonna be a while.

I ALSO LOOOOVE REFERENCING THE CANON WHILE WRITING. THE NYE FLASHBACK WHERE DAZAI THINKS ABOUT HIS CONVERSATION WHERE THEY WANT TO BE DETECTIVES. OMG. I WAS SO PROUD OF THAT. AND THE 'soulmate detective agency'.

Do not feel bad about writing a lot cause I loved reading this and responding and once again YOU HAVE FULL PERMISSION TO BIND IT ONCE IT'S DONE.

[tiredmamaissy]

hey, i want to get into writing but like idk how 😭 like how would i even start it off, how to finish, how to write smut? yk but i wanted to ask u bcs ur so good at it, so maybe u could help😋😋, perfectly okay if u don’t 😭

Hey! Thank you so much :').

I'm flattered that you're even asking me this question.

I honestly have no specific way of writing! (not that I'm aware of at least). I kind of feel like my writing is forever changing. When I wrote 'neteyam's first rut' (first post) I had the idea in my head for like days. One night I was like 'I literally can't keep this in my head any longer'. So I wrote it out, in no specific way/style of writing and did a quick proofread and decided:

"hey, why not post this shit? lol people probably won't even see it. and then i won't have this filthy smut in my hard drive for people to find when i'm dead (not even joking, this was literally what was going through my head.)"

But since I feel like my writing has changed a bit, hopefully not too drastically or out of character. Of course I've also gotten a little more comfortable on this site, too. :)

My experience with writing goes back to high school and university. I majored in a 'soft science', as they like to call it. Did tons and tons of research papers (way too fucking many to give it a number). So all I can really say about that is the more you write the easier it becomes - kind of like a muscle memory? Eventually it just flows out of you. Also reading. Reading helps ya know, the more you read the more you're exposed to other styles of writing, vocabulary, the whole shabang. Like @lovemyavatar, I love her style of writing, literally obsessed (and she knows it, hehe.)

I'd say write when you're motivated, inspired - driven. Or else it'll kind of dull the sparkle and take the fun out of it (wasn't fun writing any of those papers). So when an idea pops up, just go for it. Don't even think about grammar, vocabulary, etc. Just get that shit out of your system. You can always go back, fix any errors, and change things up - switch out a word with another, rephrase a sentence (or a paragraph or two), change up the plot - whatever you see fit. If I'm mid-washing the dishes and I get an idea I'll stop and make a quick voice note or a note in my phone.

As for starting and finishing, hmm. These are good questions, because I kind of feel like there's no standard or set way to start or finish literature. It all depends on what you're writing about and what your intentions are with it. What are you trying to portray? How do you want the reader to feel? What tense do you want to write in/most appropriate? What's your plot, if any? Where does it take place? What tone of voice do you want to use? How do you plan to differentiate the characters? I like to imagine the character's voice in my head actually saying the phase, or ask myself if Neteyam/Lo'ak would really say this.

For example I did a double POV for the first time, and when researching about it the article said "...you should be able to flip to a random page, read a couple sentences, and know which character is speaking." Which is so true. So I tried to keep that in mind, and focus on the characters development and make their voices more distinct.

I read a Lo'ak one-shot on here and a lot of people (including me) wanted a part two - I'm assuming so we could get some sort of closure/feel better/happy ending. But, the authors intention was to portray him in a dark light - to hurt the reader so to speak. So well-written and I really love their other work, too.

As for smut 👀. I'm honestly still new to this so I'm learning as I go. I love to consume smut so that has definitely helped - seeing other people and what terms and vocabulary they use. Overall, I just try to be very descriptive, so that the reader can really immerse themselves into the scene and feel what their character is supposed to be feeling. I try not to go overboard with the words though, because that can take away from it at times. For example, I wrote about a fight scene with Neteyam and Auzo (in 'with my life') and I kept it short and simple - "He throws a punch to his jaw, knocking him off his feet." type of shit.

I also do some research (lool thought I was done with the research life). My google searches are riddled with "synonym for..." "how to describe [this action] in writing". No shame in doing your research. There are a few blogs on this site that actually help out in regards to basic knowledge of coitus, cunnilingus, fellatio etc. as well as other sites, too! They list descriptive words, alternatives to 'she said' (lool i eat those up), other do's and don'ts.

And of course, I do some research about the na'vi. I try to make it somewhat realistic, especially with the fic I posted 'with my life' (longest one to date). I did some deep digging on their website about the 'first blood' ritual, and just other simple information about the flora and fauna of the planet.

This is my favourite source of information for smut.

Out of all the sources I've read, this is the best one so far. If I'm ever in a stump, or I feel like I need a better fitting word - I'll refer to this. This author also includes some really good points about sex, down to first times, anal - the whole works.

This is my favourite source of information for avatar.

I hope this helped somewhat and that I was able to answer your question! If you do get into writing, and you do decide to post it, I'd love to read it.

Sorry this is kind of lengthy, I have an issue with overwriting, and overall just talking too much. lmao

~ issy 💜

[faffreux]

Idk if it's weird to use a Fawful-themed account as an agony aunt page (please tell me if it is lol or feel free to ignore this message, up to you 😭) but I've noticed that you seem to be a bit of a nomad/free spirit. I'm starting university this September and I'm... Very much not a nomad. As in I am a mama's boy and want to stay here forever and ever. I'm fucking terrified. I know I need to do this degree to get into my dream job but my university is on the opposite side of the country and I'm so, so close to bailing. All of my friends are staying/stayed local so I can't even ask any of them about their experiences and you're the only person online I follow who's ever spoken about travelling and has an anonymous means of contact enabled. Could you tell me some more about why you love moving from place to place so much? I'd like to see it from another perspective if you're willing to talk about it. Again, no pressure of any kind to answer!

the reason i love to move around is because it's essentially life experience and adventure but concentrated. if you can imagine your life is a book then travel is something that adds SO many new and interesting pages to it in a short time frame. i feel like i have a lot more to offer conversation as a result of the life experience i've gained from roaming around which in turn offers me the chance to connect with a larger variety of people... something that's really important to me, personally!! also my memories are a beautiful place... so many of those memories are attached to the places i've been and people i've met in them.

these experiences also teach you about yourself and knowing (and learning to love) yourself is so, so important.

PS. please remember that bravery is not the absence of fear, but the willingness to do the thing DESPITE the fear. i have never done a single 'big' thing i wasn't also terrified to do. i am actually not super casual about everything, i've just been through enough to know that being freaked out and unsure is part of life and not something you will ever suddenly stop feeling. if it's new, you're gonna be nervous... so do not let the nervousness hold you back, please. it's so, so normal. more than you realize.

i hope you are able to make the best decision for yourself in the end!! i think it's also important to note that you are losing nothing by simply trying it out. if it's not for you, there's literally NOTHING preventing you from deciding you'd rather come home and study locally later down the road. so why not take the chance that it may be just what you need? you may always sit here thinking of the "what if i had gone" otherwise, which imho can be one of the most miserable feelings ever dfgldfg

and don't let the 4 year timeframe for finishing college choke you up either.. i can speak from experience with way too many of my peers that it's actually less common to graduate in that timeframe anyway LOL.

best of luck to you, dude. <3

(ps. don't worry about sending me asks like this btw... my life is a full place of many things. this is just the outlet i use to talk about the bean i love <3 it's not all i'm about.)

[woaddragoon-nadya]

Predicting the end of 2.55

Just finished up the fight for Ishgard, but I haven't started crystal tower yet so I'll give my thoughts just to see what comes of them. Also just some of my thoughts on stories/characters

Spoilers for 2.0 onwards below!

1. Betrayal of the Braves

I think the leader of the Braves is going to backstab Alphinaud. Obviously he's still alive given the trailers, but I think maybe the leader turns the Braves into an evil organization? I don't see any promo materials after this that include them. Idk he for sure killed that other kid. I just don't see the benefit other than money. Maybe he's a monetarist?

2. Alphinaud is SUPER immature

Alphinaud is pissing me off. Still love him, but he is just so naive. "You guys are the absolute worst for not helping Ishgard!! 😡😡"

The Admiral (being logical) "We have to farm out jobs to WOL because we don't have enough people for our own problems? Also we literally JUST had a war that killed hundreds (if not thousands) of soldiers? That Ishgard didn't help with? WOL also just uncovered a double agent within the Flames even though Ul'dah is already on the edge of collapse? Where are we getting soldiers from??" And Alphinaud, who really shouldn't even be at this meeting, gets mad at her! Buddy this is a stupid hill to die on!!

They always say the Alphinaud is the negotiator but I'd argue like half of the other scions would be better candidates. It always is so weird to me that everyone calls him "Commander Leveilleur." He looks and acts like he's 19 (coming from a 19 year old)! Surely Papalymo, Y'shtola, Thancred, or hell even Urianger would be better? Somebody more mature with fewer anger issues.

3. Losing the Light

Also, maybe its just the RPer in me, but I really wish there was more emphasis on WoL losing the light. Hopefully that'll come after the crystal tower quests? Imagine you're the chosen one. The fabric of the universe decides to make you her sword. And some dead fuckin dragon just takes it away for no reason? The main reason anybody gives a shit about WoL is because they are so powerful and special. So the fact that we can't tell anyone that a part of us got ripped away? Minfilia goes "aw that sucks." And we just don't do anything else? Moonbryda probably would've lived if we still had the light. And we aren't IMMEDIATELY swords/wands blazing killing the thing that did that to us?

Every time my WOL shrugs when asked how she's doing I want to tell at the screen. Like "Babes, you're TRAUMATIZED. Everybody uses you for their personal benefit. You just lost like half your ability to fight the people you are famous for fighting. Say something please!" And she does not.

4. Tarturu future?

My final note: If Tarturu dies I'll riot. Idk I'm terrible with facial expressions so maybe it wasn't meant to be sinister but her send off at the end of her little quest is making me nervous.

5. Final Thoughts

I absolutely adore FFXIV, and I hope this doesn't make anybody think I don't. Most of it is great. I'm super happy to be working with Cid and his crew for the Crystal Tower because they were by far my favorite part of ARR. I've really been enjoying the 8-mans even though I fucked one up earlier by not looking up the mechanics beforehand (what a way to be introduced to tank busters lol). It's just some of the story stuff that can be a little frustrating. I know that shrugging off your trauma is kind of just the way it goes with MMORPGs but knowing that doesn't make me feel any better y'know?

[asumofwords]

I've never experienced such grief because of a fanfic, like I burst out 9 times crying in the span of a few hours, literally having mini mental breakdowns. I prepared myself for an unhappy ending, but not like this idk, if aemond had died 20ish chapters ago, I would've cheered, but watching his character develop, him and the reader fall in love, now his death is so painful to even accept. I know there was no other way but holy shit?

You know you're in so much denial when what literally consoles you is literally just ‘they're happy in an alternate universe’ or ‘things didn't go badly in another universe.’ just basically clinging onto the hope of the events not happening in a different universe inside your lil head 😭 but tbh it's the only thing that's helping me rn, I can't wait to read the rest of the story. I wonder how she will move forward!! this story has completely broken me, idk how I'll recover when this finishes, I don't think I'll be even able to reread this cause I'll just end up crying whenever Aemond says anything romantic to her knowing what happened LIKE GOD DAMN. I imagine how painful it must've been for her to choose. Honestly I feel kind of bitter that Aemond would've chosen her over his family, I mean he quite literally did, but she ended up choosing her family over him and that only makes the betrayal he felt in that moment worse. The realisation that it will never be him. She will never choose him, but i had a feeling that he knew deep down. He was also stupid to not renew the treaty. He pushed her to the point of choosing, and she did. It wasn't him. I just hope in the end it's all worth it for the reader, I at least want her to end up happy but honestly I can't really expect that knowing the direction this is headed!

I absolutely love this story, it has been my hyperfixation and comfort in a strange sort of way, and I'm looking forward to reading the final chapters. Thanks for creating such a beautiful piece of fanfic, I don't think I'll ever be the same again hahaha.

Wow thank you so much 🥺🥺🥺

Im so happy that you have been enjoying and finding comfort in this series !!! It’s been a long and crazy ride

100% though, Aemond really shouldn’t have forced the reader to choose, because she has so much more to lose than him :(

[nekrotine]

♡. Macjomo ¹

𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈: EXPLICIT

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: Evan MacMillan (Trapper) x reader. (Philip Ojomo // Wraith).

𝑨𝒖𝒕𝒐𝒓 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆: This happens in HOY universe.

𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔: 1.435

𝑾𝑨𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮: Missgendering. R//pe play. Everything is consenced.

Philip was nervous and sweating, he never was that close to a man ever, less half naked. Evan is a mf with no heart and even he looks straight to me... ok... Uhm, he invited me to his secret cave, it looks beautiful ngl but it's weird cuz i thought he hates me... well, not necessary hates me but thinks i'm weak and stupid. He said he wants to show me his drawings, but he's so ashamed of it that it needs to be in a secret place, oh God.

— So Evan... what do u want to show me?

+ Don't call by that name.

— Sorry, i didn't know it bothers u.

+ It's okay. Uhm, i bring ya here cuz... — I don't know why he looks so nervous, he's literally sweating and stuttering. — said Philip in his conscience. — I want to ... idk, i don't want to be alone this night.

I opened my eyes like black plates.

— Bro...?

+ AGH!! forget that!

Evan throw me to the ground with madness.

— Yo nigga what the fuck?!- Evan shut my mouth with his huge hands, sorrounding all my slim body. + Shshhhh... Be quiet — he whispered — Ya look so sexy in those shorts.

I frowned confused.

+ I want to fuck ya so bad since I know u have something I want down there.

I scared and tried to get him off, I struggle but he is stronger than me. I tried to shout but I couldn't, he was holding my mouth, his hand could trapped my both wrists and was completely in top of me. He whispered — If u open your mouth, this turning worse —He removed his hand of my mouth and put it in my abdomen, slowly moving up to the chest which was covered with bandages. Evan put a finger low the bandages to tickle me like worm movements..

Philip was shaking, he tried taking him of but couldn't. Evan interrumpted his thoughts.

+ Let's see what we have here. He free my wrists and then, I had the opportunity to escape, punching him in the face and kicking him in the testicles. Evan grunted in pain. I got up and ran away but not for so long cuz he grabbed me from my ankle dragging me across the ground.

— STOP, PLEASE !! Let me go ! — I sobbed. He took me from my roots/horns roughly, on top of me, and told me.

+ Cry or try to scape again and i'll fucking kill ya right here, right now.

I shed a tear.

He shreddred my bandages, exposing my chest. Shaking, Philip closed his eyes and imagined he wasn't there. — How beautiful titties ya have — Evan smiled, kneading Philip's tits, he hold them gently, making thumb circles in his dark nipples. Suddenly, he took of his mask and buried his faces between those pair, I whimpered softly. — Don't call them "titties"... please. Evan ignored me. He was making disgusting sounds sucking my nipples, like if he were eating them. While he was sucking one, he was playing with the other, twisting it, squeezing it.

Philip moaned quietly and close his eyes again, roughly this time. Evan laughed, licked all his chest, ran his tongue all over his abdomen, his abs felt like little mountains to his tongue. + I finish my appetizer here, now i want the whole menú. — What u mean "menú" !? — I already told ya, haven't I?

Evan took the top of his shorts and lower them slowly paying attention to each skin pore that was showing, staring at his mons pubis.

+ This is what I was waiting for...

Philip had a worried and embarrased face, pulled up his shorts quickly cuz he couldn't handle the insecurity and fear. — I- I- I can't do this, please, i'm begging you, let me go. — Evan closed up to his face, looked at his eyes with a very intimidating face for a while, Philip was sweating, he was waiting for a punch in the face or a choke, but... Evan kissed him. He wasn't expecting that... With all the guilty and pleasure feelings, he responded to the kiss harder, was a tongue, wet kiss, with passion and rage. Philip held up of Evan's rough nape, while he was tampering his entire body. His hands were dry and felt like rocks grating my body, ripped my pants off and tampered my thights. Then, he took a look to my intimity and said.

+ Lord bless America. W- — Just shut up. I blushed.

Evan got closer and rubbed his bulge to me, so softly and gently, up and down, slowly. He undressed and revealed the huge monster between his legs. Philip straightened up when he saw it, astonished I said. — Don't even think about it... The Trapper seduced me with his eyes answering him already, confident. Put the hand in front of me so I can spit on it and moisten his cock. I stared at him, frotting himself with my saliva, he looked so... hot touching himself in front of me, even... he looked so pleased. His growlings turns me on a lot. His glans was shining... Oh God, forgive me.

Evan got closer, bringing that monster to me, I can't allow it.

— Uhm, man. I- I don't know- Ah !!?~ - He already placed his glans in my entrance... Robbing it between his labias, so softly. I- I. A little moan scaped from my throat, and he heared it.

He opens one eye and looks at me, I cover my face with my hands and t-shirt, it was too embarrasing. He shows me his teeth and gets even closer, I can feel his testicles skimming my anus.

+ I knew you liking it.

— Shut up, u big idiot.

Evan grabs him by thighs and places them on his. After having moistened his entrance, carefully rubbing his cock, he decided to penetrate him. Philip lets out a long and pleasurable moan, squirmming. — ¡Oh, Dios! — I wasn't expectating that! How he dares?? he was just warming me to it, then, he decides to bury that beast in me.

+ Fuck, ya feel so tight and wet in here — Groaned. His movements were careful and passionate. — Phil.. ya are so fragile and delicate, ya pussy is warm and narrow, I fuckin love it. — he sped up.

It is throbbing, oh my God, It feel so good. His strongs arms holding my spread legs for him makes my "kitty" beat, i feel if my heart was in my mons, God, why this feels so great? Am I enjoying it? Cuz — Hmm humhmm ~ jeez, continue, sweetheart, U - Agh ~~ — Philip didn't want Evan to hear his cries of pleasure, so he shut his mouth with his hands.

When Evan found out, picked up both of his wrists and placed them over his head so he can't move with one hand.

+ I want to hear ya scream to me.

I can't resist, my chest is bouncing, his huge body covers mines, that heat I'm feeling in my stomach, those watery sounds that my kitty is making when he plugs his member inside of me that fast and rough.

— ... Keep going. — Evan, amazed, did what he wants. Fucked him harder.

Wraith's lil kitty was red (not literally) it was burning, it hurts a lot but it feels so good. Isn't it? ... Hmm, this feels like heaven. Philip started to rub his clit while hiding his face, he didn't want anybody to see him while turning on. — Harder ... please. — He said with broken voice.

Evan grabbed him from his tits, squeezing them, and apparently, trying to destroy his pussy. That shit was wet and creamy asf.

— Oh, God! I-I-m- Ah~ - Don't stop !! I'm- it's coming ! ~ Please !!

+ We both. ~

Evan grabbed his arms, lifted him from the waist up, clinging to him and, kissed him as hard as he could. Wraith suprised, but he still loves when he kiss him, it feels like true love. (yo y los traumados cuando). He squirted. Evan dropped him carelessly, leaving him with all his cum inside.

Philip looks sick, he fell on the ground trembling, had a shaking orgasm. He had a completely satisfying face like if he were seeing Jesus or something. Stayed on the ground feeling the cum sliding out of him.

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

Don't kill me but what is por

Also which popular ships and characters don't you like? (I literally just had surgery and am in pain so I will take anything that distracts me from reality! Even discourse)

PoR is Path of Radiance, the ninth FE game. If you're still unsure, it's Ike's first game.

I hope you feel better very soon! Please take something to knock out some of that pain!

Popular ships I don't like rly do be like (disclaimer: i may still write some of these for comms bc unfortunately we all need money to live)

D1miM@ri (another anon asked me abt why I don't like it but I haven't finished my reply so it's been sitting in wait...)

D1midu3 (I have a LOT of strong feelings against this one)

D1miF3lix

L1nCas (I don't... hate but it's reeeally not for me)

Don't rly care for F3rd1ebert, it's rly whatever for me but I can't reasonably see it ever working out bc Hubert would never leave Ed3l for him, and I can't imagine a feasible world where Ferdie would aid her and actually be in character (did you see him in three hopes lol they REALLY trashed his ENTIRE character and brain so he could simp for her, I'm not even kidding)

Mercie/Ann3tt3 (damn if girls can't just be close friends in media or they're automatically shipped romantically smh)

Cl@udel3th (so many nos for me on this one. not gonna explain why bc it's my personal pref and I rllllly don't feel like going over it but noooo no no no. Particularly F Byleth, I have an incredibly massive aversion to Claude paired with F Byleth. idk why my brain decided to have such a drastic separation based on M or F Byleth but it did)

Cl@ur3nz

R@phn@tz (is it popular? idk I don't like it lol)

H@pi/C0nstanc3 (p much the same issue as Raph+Ig and Mercie+Annette)

I have them written all weird to keep them from showing up in the searches bc the search engine will pick ship names that are just written in a post even if they're not tagged. I know it wouldn't be my fault for that but I'm aware it's an issue and that it might be seen by those shippers just trying to search for content, so I'm writing them abnormally in hopes the searches won't pick them up.

I don't hate them all with a burning passion to the point of being disgusted when I see them, BUT I do feel that way with four of them. I guess three and a half really bc one is like yes it bothers me a LOT but I don't think it's on the same level on the other ones?

I just have Preferences and Feelings and for some reason sometimes those feelings are like yeehaw you don't like this ship.

Characters:

We Know The One (Edgelordturd)

Berandetta (one of my most hated characters in the franchise. Tolerable in Hopes)

Marianne

Lysithea (I don't have like, absolute disgust for her, but... yikes)

Leonie (MUCH more tolerable in Hopes and a significantly better character there)

Fleche (not just related to the whole AM route thing, but in general I find her to be extremely repulsive as a person)

Randolph (less hate than his sister, but damn sonny, this is the face of a man who is spoiled, selfish and has no care or consideration for anything in the entire universe except his status and his uwu sister)

Ladislava (exists purely to uplift uwugard and literally, absolutely nothing more to the point we don't even know what this supposed backstory of uwugard saving her was, so she's just another pawn to make someone look good and has no characterization of their own)

Note how the randoms from the Empire are pretty popular but they don't actually do anything to make them actual characters? they just support uwugard and do absolutely nothing else in the entirety of two games and are adored by the fandom for it LIKE NO LITERALLY and that also heightens my burning, deep, engrossed hatred of all three of them. they did nothing to deserve being such popular characters except their absolute and utter obsession with uwugard)

I don't think I'm missing anyone else who is supremely popular and utterly adored in the fandom whose face I hate seeing in and out of game but there you go, nonnie!

Lysithea is probably my least despised in the sense that I only dislike her overall but I don't just outright loathe her? She pisses me off a ton and I would literally slap her square in the face for bullying Ignatz in their Houses supports :), but sometimes she's a decent person. Sometimes. Not usually though.

No, trauma doesn't give you the free pass to be a piece of shit to other people. May as well say "I was bullied in school so now I too have gained the right to bully random innocent people I don't really know simply bc uwu it happened to me". Which... isn't okay. At all.

This is my like... lowkey and mellow version of my massive loathing of those characters LOL.

Marianne is a tricker one to say I outright loathe because I don't loathe her so much as her behavior as well as how the writers handled her character. I couldn't stand her or even remotely tolerate her entire existence in the first half of the game, I shit you not. She got better and that's the only reason I can see her and not be totally repulsed lol.

YES I KNOW I SAID IT'S MELLOW AND USED HELLA STRONG DON'T-LIKE-THIS LANGUAGE BUT! I am expressing the strength of those feelings while not being super duper extra yeehaw about it!!!

And bc I don't wanna go into detail, esp right now because to actually go over that kind of thing I have to really sit and write about it.

And like, no hate to people who like or love fictional characters. I just don't vibe with those particular characters and am forever tormented by how popular they all are lol.

[dynayshe]

my tumblr essay on art style i guess :P (read if you're a bored artist lol)

now that I'm out of art block i can draw whatever i want however i want right? (limited by my skill set obviously)

but how tf do i know what i want????

im looking at my inspirations and goals and

i want to depict mha characters as well as hori so maybe i should imitate his profiles

i also like his coloring style

i love how detailed genshin's general art style is

but it requires LOTS of effort so it's really not realistic for me

i have a few artists on twt that i like but. their style is really unique and while that's nice i don't quite see myself drawing in their style (too cartoony for me maybe)

lots of artists on insta but. they'd be good for more fashion centered art. the ones im thinking of wouldn't work w expressing emotions

the artists w a mix of mha and realism. big eyes but sculpted faces. unique noses and lips but they dissappear when u do strong expressions.

OH like a second style?? for comics and funnier emotions??? like chibi but not exactly. more western art style in general but. more anime like one for emotions. ahh a lot of people do that i guess. could be smart

and then there is the process of sketching.

confident vs ashamed lines. more imagination less lines. I've seen habs draw live and it's crazy how they take it slow but jump straight to lining. no need for putting a circle for the head, nothing just going straight for the line.

reminded me of how people paint differently w different mediums. bigger sections w acrylics and going layer by layer. while smaller sections w oils and finishing an area before moving to the next one. this doesn't quite work the same w digital but i guess you need to consider how you THINK while drawing too

maybe it would help w my proportions? or maybe i need to master my proportions to be able to sketch that confidently?? idk how this relation works tbh

and of course another thing to consider about my style is my tools and steps

im mostly using csp but sometimes i doodle on autodesk maybe i should stop doing that. and on csp i think i found my fav brush (that i use for literally everything) but just like how i could have different styles for emotions maybe a different brush would help me w different ideas too (like yesterday i was drawing overlay deku and thought my current brush was too soft for it. so i tried another brush that looks a bit like softer g-pen) yknow brush theory and all

AND THEN process oh my god all the layers and steps. like that's one thing i just don't understand. there are so many different methods for it and im trying to go for the easiest one but sometimes i feel like i did a wrong step and like im stuck. yknow like maybe i should have put this on top of that oe maybe I need to learn how to render ON TOP OF lineart. i know i can't have everything but seeing all these artists both amaze me and confuse me even further bc i get so envious!! it looks so good when they do it and i don't know how long it took them to get here either they just make it feel so easy

SIGHHH and after all of that there is still one more thing: personality and originality

i want it to feel like me. like it reminds people of me. my current style changes so much that one of them doesn't even feel like the other yknow? i want it to be recognizable im just a tiny artist barely starting to share w others but i have a few friends and i want to seem like myself through my art to them (yknow like how you can recognize your friend from the way they dress and the clothes you've seen them wear before)

and of course. i don't want it to feel like im doing homework. this is art i still wanna enjoy it. im trying to prove to my parents that i can do this as a job (obviously even if it's art degree they stilk want me to graduate from an university) so i decided to study industrial design. while studying im gonna draw and hopefully take smth like commisions once i grow larger (once i figure out a payment method! this dumbass gov doesn't allow PayPal nor any fucking alternatives!! it's impossible to be an international artist in here ToT) as i was saying. i want to enjoy my future job and my current hobby i guess. I've tried many mediums but i think i work easiest w digital. i make a lot of mistakes and adjustments so only digital works well enough for me anyway

that's all i guess. of course I've had these thoughts many times in my life but i always had the excuse of art block or other stuff like skill or time but. now that i got to be completely free from school and got my interest back in mha (also will to live lmao), and I've finally conquered my art block i guess i just want a purpose in life and that is improving my art (AND MY FUCKING LOVE LIFE UGHHH well also,, i want friends,,, irl ones that i can be honest with,, feel like myself,,, wait fuck this is getting too real imma end it here)

[pandaqueensaysno]

tw me being sleep deprived and depressed but ill probably laugh at this when im not sleep deprived

yk what makes me sad? that in any universe, as much as my mind likes to daydream that my favorite characters will love me as much as i love them and will take me in as their own, the truth is that it isn't true. If I were to magically be transported into tua or jjba universe, they would not accept me. Like, I know the point of imagination is *imagining* that they would, I mean like come on, they aren't even real, but like still yk.

idk if its just because im severely depressed and spiralling and scared of disappointing my parents, but like when i used to daydream during covidtimes about jjba as a coping mechanism for my hallucinations, i used to think "hey, at least if i was with josepj or like buccerati or smth they would care about me, and protect me from the scary monsters." But now, whenever I try to daydream about what it would be like if I was magically transported into the umbrella academy, all i can imagine is it going like this:

*a blue burst of light similar to how it was when five crashed reggies funeral*

everyone is confused, im confused. I am in the lobby of Hotel Obsidian with the entire umbrella academy LMAOOO. I think this is some weird lucid dream, or maybe more hallucinations from sleep deprivation. Five questions me, thinking I have something to do with either the commission or the fact that the universe is collapsing on itself. Allison is ready to rumor the fuck out of me, she is scary as hell. Since I think this is some weird dream, I tell them all the truth. I'm from a universe in which they exist, yes, but not in the way they think. They are from a popular Netflix show based off of a comic book series written by the lead singer of a very popular emo band. Of course, they don't believe me at first. Everyone is wary, Diego tries to attack me. But they all aren't as threatened when they realize i don't have any powers, even less so when they realize I cannot fight to save my life.

Five eventually asks me if I know anything about how this season of the show ends, since its kinda like im from the future yk? but the thing is, I don't because I never finished this episode. Hell, i never finished this season. I'm basically just a liability to them. I can't fight, I'm not insanely smart and/or strategic, I'm powerless. Like, perfect hostage material.

anyways i think im just so severely depressed rn that even the coping mechanism that helped me through literal anxiety hallucinations (maladaptive daydreaming) isn't working bc all i can think abt is how i fail everyone, even people who aren't real.

toodles !!!

[chococookiez]

nightly ptv posting in random places until i see them live (123 days left!!) - not in the greatest place rn as this cold covid continues to fuck with me both physically and mentally so im gonna get really sappy and talk about how significant each album is to me cause i could write a whole essay on this. under cut cause this is gonna be long

collide with the sky was the album that got me into this band. one of my irl friends was reposting tiktoks about them, i heard the hell above transition and instantly ran to them for recommendations cause i was HOOKED. that night i think i listened to them for around 3 and a half hours straight, i think i went through the entirety of collide, selfish machines and afftd (im not sure if i finished afftd or if i looked at misadventures yet) and the only thing that stopped me from continuing the binge was a massive headache that came over me. hold on till may inspired two of my ocs as i imagined them taking the roles of both people in the song, their personalities and how that'd fit into an existing universe we (me and my friends) had. they're still the two ocs i think about the most since i connect them with ptv very often and - yknow, hyperfixation. fun fact: i timed the "im sorry but ive made up my mind" in bulls in the bronx to happen when it hit midnight on my birthday. no clue why, just thought it was cool ig

the jaws of life was the first album i owned physically, accidentally managing to acquire both the cd and the vinyl on my birthday (cd was spotted in hmv, vinyl was my grandma's gift. there's a certain cashier at that hmv that i think happened to be working that day who shares my music taste, they recommended my dad listen to them since he said he got the cd for me lmaoo) the songs on that album were the first ones my parents heard, as my dad's car has a cd player so i popped it in on the way back home. much later on due to some shenanigans involving a shitbox car thats best music source was cds and oh look ptv is the one band my mum didn't mind listening to and i had 2 of their cds (i'll talk about that later), it ended up becoming her favourite album of theirs so we'd very often listen to it on journeys even when she got her car back as it was one of the few things we shared taste wise after i took a dive bomb into rock/metal, so while its my least favourite in terms of songs as im writing this (i don't dislike them!! some of my faves are on there!!), im incredibly sentimental towards it regardless.

misadventures was the second album i owned physically, finding the cd buried in a local record shop (it has the acoustic bonuses on it!!), and i think i can sorta call it my favourite album of all time. almost every single song in that album has been put on loop at least once (i mean that very literally. every single one. except sambuka? idk, just wasn't in my head as much...) it was also involved in the shitbox car shenanigans which might have influenced my love for it too. the divine zero in particular had (and still has tbh) a strong chokehold on me, being a little too relatable for me as i was going through a very dark patch in life that im not sure is entirely over yet actually, though it at least feels like it might be. i still can't listen to that song only one time whenever it comes on, i have to replay it at least once. it was my top song on spotify and i barely even fucking use spotify. can you tell im normal about the divine zero?

tl;dr - ptv are cool. im normal about them. thumbs up emoji.

a flair for the dramatic and selfish machines, while not having a big long story behind them, have been incredibly important to me during The Cold Covid as their songs are the main ones im obsessed with currently. some noteworthy songs off them are she sings in the morning/yeah boy and doll face (ok this one's kinda silly: i found out people found the first song through osu which i hadn't played in ages and these two was some of the first plays i got in a very long time so i currently hold them very close. fun fact: i like rhythm games!), wonderless/chemical kids and mechanical brides (INCREDIBLY calming to me, go tos when i need to lower my energy levels), million dollar houses (very closely connected to one of the two hold on till may connected ocs) and fast times at clairemont high (ok it's just a banger to me. the high notes make me fucking feral and i listened to the song 10 times in a row once. oops)

[s-aprua]

idk how to feel about girl enstars ocs when you have engirls already

??? like girl enstars ocs in general or my group??? gonna assume this is bc they're specifically a group, and I wouldn't have been asked this if I made a girl producer, self insert, side character, etc bc I can't imagine why you'd ask that when they frame anzu as a self insert and women exist in enstars too. tldr at the end.

I know like 0 ensemble girls lore (the only think I know abt them is one of them is leo's sister I think? so same universe?) I guess you could call them ensemble girls ocs if you really want to since they're the same universe?? I don't think I should call them ocs for a fandom I know nothing about, though. maybe this is on me, but I'm making ocs for fun and for fandoms I like. I happen to like enstars and I made a group for them that's all girls, therefore enstars oc. all the oc lore at the bottom of their "what I share abt my ocs iceberg" are !! era things (agency competition, gatekeeper, etc) idk if that fits engirls' plot at all.

I made my ensemble stars ocs girls mostly bc I draw girls more often and it felt weird having almost all guy idols and not even a mention of female idol groups in the agencies, despite the game intro stating girls are also becoming idols and the agencies have not only idols but songwriters and other performers under them; it'd be weird if it was specifically always guys, so I wanted to add my own group. I get happy elements had to make enstars' cast 99% guys because they are targeting a demographic, but I am not affected by that so I can make whatever characters I want. one of my girls was meant to be a self insert before I worked on her story and she eventually became a separate character.

"why not just make a love live group if you want a girl idol group" I have! only my friends have seen them tho and also there's 9 of them and enstars tends to have smaller groups and I don't have the heart to break them up. they're also school idols who aren't overly serious about becoming an actual idols, they're just doing love live for fun (literally solely a club).

just to cover my bases, I hope you're not saying enstars ocs have to be guys and girl ocs have to be engirls ocs. it seems like a weird argument to make. would I have gotten this ask if it was only half girls like vivid bad squad? are girls not allowed in enstars? what about if they were all non-binary? do my ocs' gender have any effect on what fandom they're allowed to be for?

if you still don't like them, that's fine! I don't know if I was meant to change your mind about them, but they're not canon and you can ignore them or just think of them as independent idol ocs (frankly they might as well since they're under a different agency too). I do have a guy group in the making as well although they're slightly more band adjacent so idk if they're considered "typical enstars idol unit" either (under the same "different agency". maybe I should just detach them from enstars, but I already gave them rhythlink drama and I don't want to recreate enstars plot)

tldr: I like enstars so I made some stuff up, including a new agency and new idols, the ones I've finished and shared being an all-female idol group. they have no relationship to ensemble girls so I don't label them as engirls ocs. you are free to ignore them if they bother you

still tldr: they're my ocs and I made them for me. idk if I can change your opinion, but if you still don't like them you can ignore them

[boyfhee]

i woke up, went on tumblr.com like one does, and the first thing i see is “to you, with love” reblogged for me. 

so i closed the app. screamed a bit into a pillow. and came back to write this.

THE THING IS.. i read that work, im pretty sure i even left an ask but it was more shy, timid (?)in a sense - “thank u, this was beautiful ,i cried.”cuz i was overwhelmed lol <- the lol is to make is seem more causal as if my heart didnt feel like it was punched ^^

but i remember vividly going through heeseung hashtag and seeing this for the first time.. and the title was cute, i was like “oh fluff”. i had not read the genre or warnings notes before diving into it….

so u can imagine my reaction to this sentence…

“however, heeseung’s death changed that for you.” BTW  ofc the best time to read angst its dead into the night with taylor swift playing on my headphones :>

if i remember correctly, you deleted it (?) and then posted it again? i read it the very first time it was uploaded. this might have been a changing point cuz i didn't read angst.. not in it full potential like that before this and know im knees deep 

i finished reading it. and time kinda froze. the concept of hearing the voice of the love of your life. when things were good, were fine. i wept. BUT hearing them talk about what future could hold for both of u? knowing what u know now? literally curled with my phone in my hand and bawled my eyes out

promises… the forever heartbreaking factor of life.. what are they? meant to be broken or kept.. maybe neither.. i hate them… they give false hope for those who long and yearn to be reassure and make u believe that a single person could hold such a power over the universe… well, heeseung certainly couldn't.. no matter how genuinely his heart was beating while he said “forever”

wow, im in my feels again, i just loved it, truly loved it and cherished it for so long, in my own little world with spiraling thoughts about this, 

thank u thank u thank u  thank u!!!!!!!!!!! ur works mean the world to me

im sorry for making u sad with my ask, but i cant help it :] u made me feel too much !!!!!!!!!!

i loved the poem. the flashbacks from the fic hit me like a truck. whats ur favorite poem? ^^ i would love to read some if u have a recommendation

thanks for the little career stuff note, i appreciate it a lot truly

thank u in general, ure the coolest writer,  love u too 

ps. hee angst ?? i might die tho

                                               - > swift anonie ♡♡♡

ANON MAY I INTEREST YOU IN ANOTHER THOUGHT I HAD . about 'to you, my love' being set after 'if lovesick was a person' 😁😁 IT FITS SO WELL im so devastated actually . and that's why they tell u to read the warnings but who am i to say bc i straight up jump to the content ( i like surprises ) also i didn't delete it, my brother deleted my whole acc before i remade under the same user and reposted it 😭 oh but im so honoured that was the beginning of your angst reading arc, you should not be missing out on such a genre

and ur thoughts on promises, umm i can't say you're all wrong but i think they can serve as a driving force to do something? like some sort of motivation, or a reason idk . obvs, not saying that empty promises should be made. actually i dont have any opinion here, head empty. please never apologise for sending sad asks or wtv, i enjoy reading ur thought processes ure really really cool 🫵💗 as for poem recs hmm; i wandered lonely as a cloud by willian wordsworth, cadabianca by felicia dorothea hemans, la belle dame sams merci by john keats, rain before dawn, on a play twice seen and marching streets by fitzgerlad ( anything by him and emily dickinson is worth reading ) that's all i have on the top of my head

and no, thank u for taking ur time to write these asks, you're even cooler than me fr ☝️