#ayshe is talking

[dynayshe]

the day hasn't ended yet and still, my page count has doubled yesterday's. I am so not normal about this. the bkdk brainrot is real.

[ayshebx]

hi!! I've decided to get back to drawing and posting now also on twitter/x!!

you can expect some bkdk art from me soon ^^

it's also ayshebx on twitter btw

[darklight-owl]

I think about this every day of my life btw.

[goldiipond]

you guys ever hear about gay people

[emmaspolaroid]

I feel like Ray x Violet is a rarepair but like listen… if you also saw the vision, we should be best friends

[fullscoreshenanigans]

I appreciate that Shirai didn’t think this was a satisfactory conclusion to a conflict that had been simmering in the background for twenty-five chapters, but this was still one of the most disappointing moments of the back half of the series for me, especially when he notes Ayshe contributed to saving Norman in chapter 6 of the mystic code book.

“Recover from the stigma of slaughter” is an interesting way of phrasing it because as @hylialeia​ concisely phrases it in this post, Norman and the Lambda kids do deserve the chance to do this:

#this is why I feel he's so similar to scar from fmab #like I love the demon characters in tpn but it would have been extremely iffy if the writing had decided they were all suddenly innocent #overall the narrative does a good job of balancing that complexity #without veering off into that self-righteous bs so many stories try to pull #like. the demons commit genocide. actively farmed humans.experimented on them. brainwashed and enslaved a good portion of them.and that happened when there were alternatives! #even the more sympathetic demons are guilty of complacency in the face of this #and the reason I'm still able to root for them is because that sympathy #doesn't require norman or the other lambda kids to be demonized (pun not intended) #so yeah I'm not onboard with the idea that norman didn't ~suffer enough~ for his actions #the kid was raised as food and turned into a human experiment and tortured #the idea that like. musica or sonju should have been meaner to him or whatever leaves such a bad taste in my mouth #(ayshe is valid tho.)

But Ayshe is only given one impassioned sentence in response to her father being slaughtered that’s enough to make her fist clench in anger before the narrative pushes onward.

(Chapter 139 & Mystic Code Book Chapter 6 Q&A)

And it’s made even more tragic because Ayshe’s father was largely reclusive already after a lifetime of being made fun of for his misshapen face

Adopting Ayshe pushed him further to demon society’s outskirts, potentially not speaking to any other demons after quitting his job except possibly at the rare market exchange for goods he might need for her. There was no one he was going to tell about the Lambda escapees.

(Shirai does state he was part of the aristocracy at some point to explain why he knew the demon language:)

(So between that and working at the farm, he did implicitly uphold the system without questioning it, but by the time he leaves his job we can assume he’s only eating humans to maintain his sanity, or he’s somehow related to the group of aristocrats who drank Mujika’s blood 700 years prior so he has no need for it. He wasn’t actively fighting against it, but he wasn’t contributing to it in the last twelve years of his life.)

But while most of the Lambda crew doesn’t know any of this backstory, Shirai also notes that Norman knew the demon language by the point they meet Ayshe thanks to Smee:

So he knows exactly what she’s saying as he stands before her in the wake of her father’s murder. He doesn’t make any attempts to correct the others’ inferences based on their own experiences with the demons at Lambda. Ayshe either quickly composes herself and goes along with them without a fight or another word, or Norman plays her reaction off as her not being in the right mind after being her held captive by a demon for however long as they carry her off to the paradise hideout (I’m assuming it’s the former though because her dogs would likely attack in the latter scenario). And he lets all of this simmer for potentially months (the timeline’s not exactly clear on how long Ayshe has been with them)

(Mystic Code Book Chapter 7)

instead of talking to her about any of this despite knowing they made a mistake. Upon meeting with her again after the events at the imperial capital, he takes a few panels to collect himself before deciding on a single sentence to say to her, and then moves on. Ayshe contributed to saving him per Shirai, but we’re not privy to any attempts at him repaying her or trying to make amends. It’s a shame such a promising, nuanced conflict that should not have an easy, immediate answer was sidestepped to save on page space and expedite the series finale.

I do think it’s interesting that despite whatever he said being infuriating to her, Ayshe is willing to be in physical proximity to him during the timeskip, and her and her dogs allow him to hold a puppy.

(Chapter 181; fucking rip Vincent getting a new scar on his head)

Like many people I’m defaulting to him providing her with some form of a short apology in that chapter 160 exchange. He’s accepted that Ayshe might kill him one day, though after everything he’s gone through in his arc about the flawed thinking of sacrificing your life in pursuit of a cause, I don’t believe he offered her his life in exchange as part of any honor customs, or at least not while he’s still able to do some good in the world. Ayshe has accepted this, albeit not happily by any means.

Finally, all that said,

(TPN Exhibition Booklet: Tracks to the Neverland (Dec. 2020) Interview)

Really fucking glad these didn’t happen ldskfslk

[chidoroki]

182 Days of TPN - Day 168

Chapter 168: "Dad"

I know this is the same room Isabella & Peter were seen having their discussion in back during ch165, but to just have two plain chairs in such a large, empty room seems so extra. Regardless of that, I do like the panel of the trio here, even though they're surprised to find no one here due to the fake footage Peter fooled Vincent with that lead them there.

Dunno how all the kiddos are hearing Peter's message since the teams seem to only have one person with a communication device but whatever. Perhaps he's speaking loud enough for everyone to hear.

Although I have a hard time believing the Ratri men were able to tie up the Adam clones without a fight, I guess anyone will yield once you hold them at gunpoint. Also, the absence of Hayato in this panel is a nice hint to his role next chapter.

While the demon guards don't cause much of a problem during the rest of the story, it still would've been better if the kids killed them off instead of put them to sleep. I get that they didn't wanna kill if they didn't have to, but it would've been one less thing to worry about. Hearing about Sonju & Mujika's execution definitely adds to the stress. Not as much as their deaths could have, but we're thankful Peter was stupid enough to actually wait three days.

Along with all the citizens who drank the evil blood being killed, the Ratri clan and the higher-up demons taking control of the government, let's add the plan to assemble a ton of new Lambda farm into the mix as well. Talk about a big time panic. The premium farms don't sound so bad now huh?

Oh Vincent, you dunno these kids as well as you thought if you honestly believe they would shoot the adults in front of them. Emma, Ray, Don & Gillian couldn't manage to fire a shot at Andrew back when he held Dominic & Alicia hostage after the shelter raid. You're best bet would've been Oliver. This goes back to that old post of mine wondering who, among the kids, would be able to shoot at another human, but I still believe Ray could manage it, if only as a last resort.

The thought of Norman firing at another person was always a toss up for me though. Of course he showed no mercy towards demons during this WM phase, so even with the clear difference between demon and human, I wouldn't have been completely surprised if that cold persona of his came back with a vengeance once he heard Vincent get shot. Peter's been a thorn in Norman side ever since Lambda, so having this bastard personally hurt one of his friends just adds fuel to the fire. Norman (& Ray) did often mention taking down Isabella & Krone back during their GF days if they wanted to escape successfully, so they have level of brutality, it's just been real lowkey. Thankfully none of the children need to get blood on their hands. They've suffered enough already.

Please never say those words with your mouth. No one in this world considers you as that.

Hell yeah Oliver, let him know what's up!! I love that he, Zack & Gillian feel so strongly about the word "dad" because of the relationship they had with Lucas. The same can be said about Ayshe & her father but I can ramble more about all that next chapter.

Favorite panel/moment:

If you've been around me for a while, then you already know how damn hilarious this panel of Norman is to me.

I mean, in context, it's pretty serious, but thanks to a silly edit I've made years ago, I can't look at this panel anymore and not laugh like an idiot. So, now's the perfect time to upgrade it from a noticeable bad edit I made in the car on my phone once upon a time to something more worthy to use every time I lose my mind.

[sepiamestus]

queer hcs for the main tpn kids my dearest friends tpn gang. naow

FUUUCK YEAAAAH i have many thoughts infact. My opinions are always correct <3

Emma is the tmasc lesbian of all time. to meeeee. She doesnt care ab gender that much but her expression is very important cuz of the farm system stuff <3 getting to be more masc was very special for her <3

As you know I'm the #1 transfem Ray believer she is the bigender of all time. I flip flop between hcing him as gay and bi but either way he is a boyliker <3 this is true

Norman is bi or cishet depending on whichever is funnier. Sorry.

Don my friend Don theee transgender of all time <3 he is bisexual also <3 Gilda is trans as well ive talked ab this before but them transitioning at the same time and just. Switching uniforms but neither of them fit <3 Gilda is the lesbian of all time but we know this

Also ik you said main kids but also Violet is an nb lesbian and Gillian is transfem + aroace 🩷 Nigel is non binary also. Ayshe doesnt know what a gender is

[officersnickers]

Me: Writing a chapter about Norman and Ayshe talking things out and agreeing on living on, trying to become better over time with each other.

Also me: Listening to "Running with the Wolves" by AURORA

Me afterwards: Yeah I should write about Ayshe killing Norman for good.

[ahjae]

Zombie Apocalypse ft. Biko Sekai

CHAPTER 1:

Characters: Rookie, Rinne, Aysh, Suro, Rev, Toko, Nora, Yuki, Koe, Kaitou

It's been months ever since this absolute chaos occurred. The once perfectly clear sky, now grey and dull. Even though the apocalypse is quite recent, the gang adapted to the environment quite fast, still being bruised after errands but it's a learning opportunity, as long as none of them got bit, they'll survive for quite some time. 

"Ah-!" Aysh flinched at the sudden pressure on her wound. "Stop moving Aysh, I'm trying to clean this cut you have.." Suro muttered while holding Aysh's wrist, keeping her arm in place. Aysh just shook her head, hissing at the stinging pain of the ointment combined with her open wound. "You two are reckless.." Suro sighed then put away the ointment and cotton back to its proper place. "We got ganged up on by a ton of zombies, what else are we supposed to do?" Someone butted into the conversation. "Maybe not be so reckless to the point where you'd get injured because of a fucking debris" Everyone sighed when Suro kept on scolding them though not paying much attention. 

"I know you and Aysh are skilled with guns, but please, once you're back to running errands I want you to be a little more careful" 

"I'll keep that in mind then, Rinne- Ah- ow-!" The gal flinched at the sudden pain, trying to pull away from Rinne but was pulled back. "Stay still, Rookie, I'm not done yet." Rookie whined but just stayed still 'patiently' waiting for Rinne to finish cleaning up the wounds she has. 

It was quiet for a couple of minutes, no one daring to say anything— either felt too awkward or too tired; though the silence was cut off when they heard the door creaking open. "Are you four done bickering?" the director asks, a hint of sarcasm in her voice. She peeked her head out the door and smiled at the four of them. "Do you need something, Toko?" Rookie looked up, meeting Toko's eyes, Toko shook her head and fully opened the door. "Just wanted to let you guys know that Rev and I cooked, so you four better hurry the fuck up”

Toko then leaves the room, "Finally, food!" Aysh complains and takes Suros hand, "WAIT IM NOT DONE WITH YOUR INJU-" Suro was cut off by the door closing leaving Rinne and Rookie alone. "Well I guess we should just fix this mess.." Rinne says as she finishes with Rookie's injury, Rinne then fixes up the medkit and gives it to Rookie to put on the shelf. "Hah, Now that we've fixed up. Lets go Rinne!" Rookie takes Rinnes hand and goes to the other room. 

As Rookie opens the door, They see Toko and Rev talking about their next expedition as she also sees Suro hand feeding Aysh.

' God, how much of a baby could Aysh be.' Rookie thought while smiling awkwardly.. "Alright, so Toko, What's our plan to get materials?" Suro asks, noticing both Rookie and Rinne at the table. "Well. I've thought about it and now. I think the best decision is for you and Rinne to go. Me and Rev will defend our base. Does that sound good for tomorrow's expedition?" Toko says while making eye-contact with both Suro and Rinne, "But can't we help them?" Aysh asks "Well, it shows that YOU AND ROOKIE. Are a bit too hyper on the battlefield." Toko glared at Aysh

"Urgh.. Alright then." Aysh rolls her eyes. 

Everyone took their own plates and utensils and started to scoop up some food before sitting down on their chairs.

"Haah! I'm stuffed!" Rookie says while yawning with Rev silently giggling "Everyone had their food I assume?" He asked and everyone nodded. "Let's head to our rooms then" Rev suggested. "Alright! Goodnight everybody!" Aysh and Suro enter the room they share and go to sleep. 

Time skip .. 

"Hey Suro, you have the stuff ready?" Rinne asks while putting a bat in her backpack, "Mhm, I have" Suro assures Rinne while loading the bullets into his gun. "Alright, we're all set up. Bye Toko, Rev , and Aysh!' 'Rinne says, waving at them while heading for the door, "Alright bye Suro!" Aysh says and continues to kiss Suro ``REALLY? RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME?" Toko says disgusted, Aysh just stuck her tongue out at Toko and waved at the two heading off 

"Alright so, we have to get to the store right?" Rinne asks while walking "Mhm, Since we've already gone there, I have a map on how long and far it takes to go there." Suro says while looking for any zombies that are nearby. They both continue to walk, "Huh, is it me or I hear something loud?" Rinne asks while looking around. "But I don't see any-" A small group of zombies suddenly come forward into Rinne and Suros' view. "Or.. Yes you may be right Rinne.." 

"Alright! Time to clean you guys up" Rinne says while heading in with a bat but keeping a close distance, "I'll back you up, Rinne." 

In no time, Suro and Rinne defeated all of them. "Haah.. Finally..!" Rinne says while cooling down. "Fufu, you did excellent Ri-" 

(FUCK YOU!!)"PUTANGINA MO!!!!"

A scream was heard from the left,

"I DONT FUCKING CARE, KASALANAN MO TO KAITOU"

(THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT KAITOU)

A second person screams at the so-called 'Kaitou' person. Both Rinne and Suro come close, "Hello, Are you guys also survivors?"

"AAAAAAAAAA- '' Kaitou was cut off by the other person covering his mouth. "Uhm, Yeah! We are.." The person covering Kaitous mouth confirms the question. 

"Can't believe you two have the time to argue in such circumstances.." Rinne muttered while still keeping an eye on the surroundings. "If you don't mind me asking, '' Suro started, earning more of the two survivor's attention. "What are you two uhmm.. bickering.. about?" As soon as Suro asked, a boy scoffed, glaring at his 'friend' before answering. "We were being chased down by a few zombies so we tried to fight it, but that 'few' zombies instantly turned into dozens so I insisted that we should run and hide but this idiot-" He cut his sentence off to smack the back of his companion's head. 

("Ow- You bitch!") "Ow- Punyeta ka!" The other cussed, rubbing the back of his head, but the boy paid no attention and kept telling the story. "-wanting to be the hero, decided to run head on to the crowd of zombies, this bastard actually has a death wish." Suro and Rinne looked at each other then back at the duo then back at each other. It was silent for a couple of minutes before Rinne chimed in. "Do you two.. have anywhere to stay?" They shook their heads and Suro immediately looked at Rinne. "I- Let's talk somewhere" Rinne nervously laughed and grabbed Suro's arm. "You two stay there, run to us if you need anything" He said before dragging Suro away. 

"Is there a problem, Rinne?"

"Not really, I know you want to invite them to the shelter but.." Rinne trailed back. "I don't think Rookie and the others are going to be fond of them.." Suro cocked his head to the side. "What makes you think that?" Before Rinne can answer, Suro added. "Without sounding biased." The comment made Rinne a tad bit flustered but continues to explain anyways. "For starters, the noise or ‘bickering’, whatever you call it. It will attract a handful of zombies if not more, and if we take them to the shelter, considering it isn't all that big... knowing some of our members are a bit sensitive when it comes to loud noises" Rinne explained, his voice getting quieter and quieter the more he proceeds. 

"You have a point on the first part" Suro taps his fingers on his chin. "But the second part.. list a few member" 

"Rev, Rookie, Yuki, sometimes Toko" 

"Aren't they all loud individuals themselves?" Suro looked at Rinne. "That doesn't mean they don't enjoy peace and quiet." Rinne sighed and looked back at the duo who was just chatting at a volume only the two can hear. "As for the size of a shelter" Suro chimed. "Yuki and I found a location just in case we find survivors, we can always go there.. Fortunately, Toko agreed we can move there" Suro smiled. 

"And you didn't even tell me?" Rinne looked offended, rolling his eyes and puffing his cheeks a bit. "It was supposed to be the topic for tomorrow's meeting," Suro chuckled and walked in the direction of the two. "I have no space to argue huh?" 

"None." 

The duo saw Suro and Rinne walking back to their direction, one of them waving at them with a smile. "I forgot to ask," One of them started. "What.. are your names?" He asked nervously. "How rude of me to not introduce ourselves. I am Suro and this is my partner, well partner for today: Rinne" Rinne waved his hand at them. "and you two are?" 

"Koe and this wanna be hero is Kaitou" Koe simply introduced. "What brings you two here?" Koe asks once again "Well, we were on an expedition, that's it. Wasn't expecting to run into some survivors" Rinne giggled when he saw Koe nudging Kaitou. "Well since we're here, why don't you come with us and help with the expedition?" Rinne offered which had Koe accepting immediately but leaving Kaitou skeptical. 

"Kaitou?" 

"I don't trust it." He crosses his arms and looks away. "How would I know you're not gonna stab me in the back or something?" Koe rolled his eyes at his friend's antics and insisted that they just leave him be. "Alright, suit yourself. Let's go" Koe started walking, having the two follow behind.

"Eh?! Oi! What the fuck?!" Kaitou began running up to them without hesitation, leading the three in a fit of laughter. 

Once the laughing had died down the four just chit chatted the whole walk to the market. 

"When you recruited people, did they immediately trust you?" Kaitou asks and Rinne shakes his head in response. "It's normal for people to distrust us, especially with what's going on" The two nodded. 

"That reminds me of the first time we recruited Rookie."

Suro chuckled at the thought. "The moment she saw us, she pointed a gun at Nora" Suro then shook his head. 

"It is quite an impression," Rinne smiled. "Anyways we're here" 

—— 

Rev looked at the clock then sighed. "What's wrong?" Nora popped out of nowhere and asked. "Suro and Rinne are taking their sweet time, hm?" He chuckled and continued to clean the weapons that's laid down in front of him on a table. "Rookie is definitely gonna freak out when Rinne comes home injured" Nora teased and sat next to Rev. 

"Oh definitely" 

The two started to joke around, not noticing a person had stepped out of their room and came to check up on them. 

"Nora?" A voice called out from the kitchen and Nora immediately looked up. "Yuki?" She called back, getting up from her seat and walking to the kitchen; there, she spotted Yuki. "You wanna eat?" They offered Nora a plate and Nora, not wanting to be rude, just agreed to eat with Yuki. 

A couple minutes passed and Rookie stepped out of the room, hair drenched and a towel on top of her head. "Hm?" She looked around the room. "Are they not back yet" 

"I was surprised, myself.'' Rev chimed in as he was putting away his cleaning tools. "I see" She sighed and walked to the kitchen— grabbing an energy drink from the fridge, popping it open before drinking it.

"Rookie in distress" Nora giggled at her own comment. "A bit stressed, yeah" Rookie gave Nora and Yuki a quick smile before sipping the drink in her hand. 

Soon enough— they heard the jiggling of the door knob and revealed Suro, Rinne and two new faces. Though Rookie could care less about the two new faces as she puts down her drink and instantly approaches Rinne, wrapping her arm around Rinne's waist and pulling him into a chaste kiss. Suro cleared his throat and Rinne pulled away, panting a bit— a face red and flustered. Rookie rolled her eyes and grabbed Rinne's hand and dragged him to their shared bedroom. 

"Off they go.." Rev commented then got up to greet the two new people. "Hello, I assume Suro and Rinne recruited you. I am Rev, one of the survivors if that wasn't obvious" He held out his hand to Koe and Koe gladly shook it. "Hello! I'm Koe and this is my friend Kaitou, I'm glad there's more survivors than just the two of us" Koe smiled. Kaitou noticed the two people occupying the kitchen. "So exactly how many people are in here?" He asks, looking at Suro who just shrugged. "Honestly, I lost count" He laughed and picked up the bag filled with materials and foods. "Help me with these Rev" He instructed and Rev followed suit. 

"I'll inform Toko that there's new people" Nora stood up and walked to where the Director's room is located. Yuki got up grabbing two cups of water and some snacks. They walked up to the two boys and led them to the couch and placed the snacks and water on the coffee table. "We're most likely going to have a meeting so we can all introduce each other," Yuki said, resting a hand on their hips. "Don't look so nervous now, we won't bite." Yuki then chuckled. "You two can relax now, we're all safe here" Yuki assured and walked to the Director's room and knocked. 

"Come in" They heard Toko yell out, opening the door which revealed Toko and Nora having a little chat in the bedroom. "I heard there's new people?" Toko asks and Yuki nodded. "Yeah, I can tell they're a bit nervous but that's no surprise" Yuki smiled softly and Toko nodded. "We might have a meeting tonight" She said while tapping a finger on the desk. 

"I thought you'd say that" Yuki then leaned against the wall and admired Nora. "Make them feel at home for the time being" Toko reminded them and the two followed.

[notelectrictigerart]

A good human

[dynayshe]

um. kinda need to vent now just to get this off my chest

yknow i always say, never trust how i feel about myself past 9 pm. but. considering the "hated my art from yesterday this morning" thing i just really hate how i never really met my own expectation of my art.

i posted that drawing not bc i like it, just bc it was already 4 am, i had spent way too much time on it and i really wanted to join this lil event this time. i want to draw every day. and i know, i won't like every thing i draw, im only spending a day on each drawing but. i feel kinda stupid about it, i just don't like how that turned out in the end, nor at any point. it never actually looked good to me, i forgot to put perspective n shit, the bg is absolute ass and it just feels so amateur.

i know i took a huge break from art i knoww i kinda am an amateur but i never expected to hate my art so much today. maybe in a month or a year but hating it while doing it kinda saddens me

and ughh this is mostly for digital art too. but like i got this huge ass display monitor for it i got csp for it my parents thought i would be drawing my whole life and here i am where the only thing i can stomach to show is tiniest fucking sketches in my notebooks. i can only sketch. that's it.

yknow what maybe I'd be good at storyboarding for animations bc this is kinda like destroying a sketch once u do the lineart. once i try to expand on the idea it turns to shit. or if i put color. like i can absolutely see some of my flaws and lacks. i don't know shit about color theory or picking a pallette and this fact doesn't disturb me that much knowing this is a sort of knowledge i can gain. but i want to see my drawings in color and. not look like shitshow. i guess that's why i have so many sketches. nothing can get past that point. it must stay this way or I'm gonna end up hating it

ugh im so frustrated w myself

I HAD SOO MUCH ENERGY YESTERDAY TOO. last night was amazing i sat and drew for hours without thinking about it's quality even for once. it was just a hobby and it was about only enjoying the moment.

of course posting it might have been the problem here but. i would like to think i don't let the numbers get to my head. im posting bc i wanna interact and share my ideas and make friends not to show it off. but idk maybe i don't understand myself well enough. maybe that is actually what im feeling upset over and i should focus on only improving myself

[the-silliest-idiot]

Eating habits

I made this because I like drawing demon scribble language (and Ayshe I guess)

[darklight-owl]

Series that has a lot of random hidden lore bits the author made so even years after you finished it sometimes it comes back to step on your heart with something you didn't know

[goldiipond]

i think it’s really funny how close ray consistently gets to swearing any time he interacts with an adult 

[tutubola-moved-on]

wait is cloverworks gonna chop out ayshe too that's all i need to know oh my god not my queen not under my watch