#idk i just think it’s a bit strange that more than once my mom has tried to associate some symptom or another that I have | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sokkastyles · 2 years ago

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I was reading your Azula metas. I kinda had in my mind that a redemption for her would come from her resolving her issues with her mother. I think because Zuko is similar to his mom (or at least more similar to her than to his dad) it's possible that she could understand her mother better by getting to know him more. I remember some bits on the show like when Azula warned Zuko about him visiting Iroh in prison, because of her tone I sort read that as she really trying to protect him and not just a threat or something. I think there's something there with him being the last connection to her mother. I wonder if she felt betrayed by him once he left the family and joined the gaang, not just because it ruined the plans or anything but because her mother also "left" her. Idk if this makes any sense lol I'm just rambling now. But what do you think?

I love the idea of Azula learning to understand her mother by getting to know her brother more!

I think that most discussions about Azula's relationship with her mom fall flat in two ways. One, people forget that Azula is an unreliable narrator, especially when it comes to her family. It is strange that when we hear Zuko talk about how Ozai will restore his honor, we know that he is unreliable, but people don't question it with Azula, who absolutely worships her father and blames her mother for her father's abuse because of course she can't blame Ozai. It's actually a pretty typical dynamic in homes with a parent like Ozai, for that parent to try to turn the children against the other parent, and since Ozai resents Ursa and treats Azula like his golden child, is it hardly a surprise that Azula also feels resentful of Ursa? Especially when Azula whole-heartedly believes what Ozai wanted her to believe about how she was better than her brother and deserved to be treated better. Ursa treating Zuko kindly is a threat to that belief, a threat to what Azula's father made her believe was where her sense of self-worth lay.

Two, what Azula says about how their mother "liked Zuko more" is really more about her relationship with Zuko than it is about their mother. Remember the context of that conversation in "the Beach"? It comes right after Zuko's big revelation where he realizes that he's angry at himself for making the wrong choice and choosing to go back to the Fire Nation. When Zuko says he's angry at himself, Azula asks him why, and the voice acting in this bit is interesting, because Azula sounds suddenly curious. Before she was dismissive, although this is also the episode where we get an Azula who does, deep down, long for a human connection. We see glimpses of this curiosity when she asks Ty Lee how she is able to get boys to like her.

Azula's response to Zuko is equally dismissive, because just like in the scene with Ty Lee, Azula can't show vulnerability for long, can't let others know that she wants something from them without masking it in dismissive language, but before that, the camera does something interesting. The shot is a closeup of Zuko, who says he's afraid he doesn't know the difference between right and wrong anymore.

But while Zuko is talking in the foreground, the camera actually pans to shift focus to Azula in the foreground, watching him.

The purpose of this kind of shot is to position Azula as equal to the audience, as we watch Zuko grapple with worrying that he doesn't know the difference between right and wrong.

Which implies that Azula is also thinking about the same thing.

Of course, she calls him pathetic a moment later, but remember that this is Azula masking her feelings of vulnerability. What's really interesting about this situation is that Azula usually seems to have the upper hand against Zuko, and she keeps it here by doing what she always does, and reasserts that she's better than him. He's "pathetic" and his trauma is a "sob story," which of course she doesn't have. But even in his moment of confusion, Zuko actually has more clarity than Azula has, because he's able to question the way they were raised in a way Azula never has been able to do. The positioning of the shot also emphasizes this by showing Zuko as dominating most of the frame while Azula appears small in the background.

And then of course what Azula says about not caring about how her mother thought she was a monster is her being an unreliable narrator again, and we know she's attempting to blow off something that deeply bothers her. But it's not her mother that is the source of this, it's Azula's own confusion. Because Azula also is starting to realize that she's not sure if she knows the difference between right and wrong, and she's not brave enough to admit it the way Zuko is (Zuko who can't help but wear his emotions on his sleeve, which is something Azula is normally able to take advantage of, but here it gives him an advantage over her). But she knows that her mother tried to teach her to do the right thing, and she experiences confusion over the competing demands of trying to please both parents when the parents' demands are not aligned with each other.

Because she couldn't please both parents, Azula made the choice long ago to please the one who was the most powerful, and of course that's Ozai. But that doesn't mean her internal conflict went away. When Zuko stops making that choice, it's a threat to her entire worldview. That's a big reason why she needs him to come with her in Ba Sing Se, why she sees Iroh as a threat, and why she's dismissive of the bond Zuko and Ursa had, and why she goes after Zuko when he joins the gaang, with intentions of killing him.

Which is also why I don't see Azula doing things like encouraging Zuko not to look at things that remind him of Ursa or telling him not to visit Iroh as beneficently as some. I do think it's more complicated than just a threat, and that there's some affection there, but it's also a way for Azula to affirm her own flawed beliefs. If Azula cares for Zuko, it's in a similar way to the way her father cares about her, as someone she can control and use to reinforce her own feelings of superiority.

Azula can't understand why Zuko would cling to the relationship with his mother, or Iroh, when these relationships cause him pain. But these relationships make Zuko strong in a way that Azula isn't, and she knows this, deep down.

There's an interesting moment in "The Search" when Azula can't understand why Zuko would still be fire lord even though he doesn't want it, and why he would try to help people who resent him. Which also has to do with his relationship with his sister, because in this comic he also offers to help her despite Azula trying to sabotage his search for Ursa the entire time, and Zuko tells her that she's still his sister. She tearfully tells him that "even when you're strong, you're weak," before running off.

Which reminds me of this quote from the movie "What Dreams May Come":

He was a coward! Being strong, not giving up, it was just his place to hide. He pushed away the pain so hard, disconnected himself from the person he loved the most… Sometimes, when you win, you lose.

The things that Azula regards as weaknesses in Zuko are actually the things that make him stronger than Azula in the end, and that's also at the heart of Azula and Zuko's differing relationships with their parents. Zuko learns to confront things from his past that are painful in order to make himself stronger, to free himself from Ozai's influence and embrace meaningful relationships that don't revolve around control and fear, whereas Azula is largely in denial about her own trauma. So yeah, I do think that if she could understand Zuko and learn from him, she could potentially repair her relationship with both her brother and her mother. There's a lot of contention about what Ehasz said about Zuko being "Azula's Iroh" in discussion about a possible redemption arc for her, and I myself have said some things against that idea - most notably the idea that Zuko needs to be responsible for "fixing" her when she is a huge part of and contributed to his own trauma - but there is some truth in Zuko being somehow involved in a possible redemption arc for her because Zuko has achieved what she hasn't been able to yet.

#zuko #azula #ursa #ozai #the beach #the search #atla comics #atla meta

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stinkysarai · 7 months ago

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idk why but i feel like the funniest and also most annoying thing i see with atla characters is like. how theyre pushed into a VERY small box and mostly known for/ characterized with like. a certain aspect of them.

tell me why i constantly see ‘mom friend katara shes so momcore motherly’ posts. like yeah i guess so but shes more than just a motherly person guys!! shes a teenage girl with anger and rage and a very very strong passion for justice! shes a teenage girl who was forced to mature and clearly dislikes the motherly part of herself!!! cmon guys shed be so upset if she was only known for being a ‘mother hen’ or something!!

aang. poor aang literally hes either a 'pacifist saint scared of confrontation and has no guts' or an 'evildoer thats the founder of frowntown' or some shit. did we watch the same show?? i mean i was a little sleep deprived when i watched it yeah but i dont think aang was the true villain of atla… i think that was ozai? just a guess ? (sarcastic) idk. i just think its crazy that this little fella is usually seen in such a bad light

sokka. my boy sokka brah see hes like. hes a strange thing. i feel like there could be a buzzfeed quiz of Which Sokka Are You? and the options are buff stupid ass himbo that gets girls , annoying male manipulator/manchild that hurts women, mean big brother thats only ever sarcastic and annoying and cynical and NEVER shows any emotion other than hatefulness, spite, and jealousy, or sunshine happy funny guy that aspires to be a comedian and never has any emotions or personality other than butt of the joke/ jokester. and even then those are like. BROAD options. i could get so much more specific but like. i wont because im lazy. it just. it peeves me a little bit but to be fair i am the same type of person to go YOU DONT GET MY FAVE LIKE I DO even though i am bad at overanalyzing characters. sokkas my fave so i might just be spewing nothin but pure ass takes (dont criticize me ill cry)

toph. AUGHHHH IT GETS ME SO MAD!! why is she a mean ass no tolerance no respect girl!! why is it thay most of the time they make her out to be some girl that is mean to others because ‘its funny!!1!1!’ and will never listen and also hates everyone and is unnecessarily violent. THAT or they make her out to some ‘i’m secretly really sweet and nice and kindheartedmaxxed but i hide myself with ANGER and violence and rebellion…’ type of person that acts like a tsundere in extreme comedy animes. like giys please why are there two extremes that neither of which are good!!

dont get me started on zuko because once i start i wont stop . WHY WHY WHY!!!! i scream to the midnight sky as raindrops down my despaired face… WHY is it that hes either a small, shy, vulnerable sack of twigs who cant defend himself and needs his alpha sigma buff boyfriend(s) to defend him at all times or a buff ass strong extremely mean jerk thats also ‘a bad boy with a big heart’ that smirks 25/8 and is sad all the time and in his feels. guys like… WHY?? HES NOT .. GUYS olease. Please please please

pisses me off man! but to be fair i am VERY particular about a lot of thijgs and like. no shame / hate truly. im just a fella who cant shut up, living my life happy go lucky and filled with love and hate. if this offends you PLEASE DONT HURT ME im just a feller!!! a person in this big big world!! twas just a rant!

#atla #rant post #sorry for the rant #i am probably mean in this sorry?#i think. i dont know #random ass post #just had to type. i like speaking and talking #if this offends tou please block me or like. just tomato at me in the comments. im scared of confrontation

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girlfromplut0 · 2 years ago

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a short letter

hi friends ! wanted 2 share a couple thoughts nd ideas with u if thats alright . ive been finding it really hard to connect with people lately , everyone seems so far away . idk if its dissociation from ptsd or just growing apart but it feels like there is a lot of distance between me n a lot of ppl in my life . n idk thats a bit strange . i feel like a stranger in a lot of places where i used 2 feel like an important piece . i suppose thats what happens when u grow , some things make less sense but eventually things will make sense again . most things dont make sense anymore honestly . even typing this i dont really feel real . dissociation has been really hard for me . after getting out of an abusive relationship its been hard to feel how i think things used to feel (and even on tumblr im kind of scared of saying those words out loud, im really afraid of that person even though i dont want to let that fear control me). idk ptsd is really scary . its not like anything ive faced before in my life . people tell me it gets easier and i believe them but a part of me is scared that things just keep making less and less sense . but in another way , every problem you face u have the wisdom and growth of every problem u have faced before at ur back . i used to have an eating disorder but cooking has become a super important part of my life , and i think im really good at it and its been rewarding to share that with my mom and people i love . im the highest weight ive ever been in my entire life and ive for the most part overcome my disorder and eating related trauma . so even if im sad and disconnected from people , at least i am giving my body the fuel it needs to continue living . i haven't spoken about really any of this in public and i guess this kind of secret tumblr acc feels safe for me to be a bit more candid and long form for once . i can't really use twitter in that way anymore , mainly for boundaries and mental health reasons . but yeah i guess a lot of things have been strange lately . idc if nobody rly gets my music anymore . even if it doesnt appear to be , if u see it as jus being like flexing or some shit whatever , it is like a deep expression of a lot of emotions im feeling . n i dont feel the need to explain it 2 anyone i prefer 2 let my art speak for itself . my art is the only place i feel like i can be free and honest and genuine nd create something that is a true expression of myself and that matters more 2 me than anything else . a lot of ppl i kno wld be lost w/o seeing a bunch of numbers . but when u making music for someone else u have already lost , u have chosen to surrender your space to what u are guessing someone else wants . no truly meaningful art can come from a place like that . sharing a little song i made , was produced by maiden who is an incredibly talented and kind soul nd i will link their sc under this u should listen 2 their songs ! im not sure if this song will ever be a part of something larger but since u read my long rambling thing i wanted 2 share one of my favorite songs ive made , in case its never on anything else . thank u for caring about my art and supporting me. often the love i feel from all of you overpowers the discord in my mind. and even if my art is made for myself, seeing that this expression of myself connects with so many people is deeply deeply meaningful to me. im excited and incredibly grateful for the opportunity to connect with as many of you as i can during tour next month. if you see me around before or after the show feel free to say hi, your support means so so much. i love you - meadow (pluto)

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guppybibi · 4 months ago

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really bad oc thought i made like idk when the love reset fic is a wip and i might post some drabbles or smth

“I won’t ever let you go, just hang on tight to me..”

“Kuri- kiddo. That’s a rock you’re holding..”

“Okay? It doesn’t make it any less!”

“I believe everything in this world holds value, no matter how tiny or useless it may seem. It will always have a purpose. Yet why can’t I find that purpose for myself?”

Ever since I was young, I knew what I wanted to be, I knew what I was meant to be. I was meant to perform, to entertain. If I was born in some kind of past life I probably would’ve been a jester or maybe I’ll be doing some gigs in an 80’s disco. Who knows? All I know is that performing is my passion. And I believe that everyone and everything in this small world has a purpose, a passion rather. Every individual in this world is unique, no one and nothing is the same. It could be physically, emotionally, or mentally. Whatever you desire, but I will stick with that belief as I grow. Normality is a blank canvas, every bit of someone’s strangeness is equivalent to one brush stroke of paint. And that your last breath is you, the work of art being varnished. But why do people find peculiarity “bad”? Isn’t that what us humans are? I feel people focus on the things society considers normal too much and forget about the things that make us special. You are you and no one and nothing should and would change that. I mean, it’s not like God just decided to make all the planets and galaxies to be the same right? Each planet is unique, nothing is normal in the universe we live in.

I thought about this as I flew my kite with my mother. My kite was very beautiful, it’s not like any other. It was just like my mother, one of a kind. Never to be seen before. Nevertheless, it still had the same purpose and function as other kites would, to fly high up into the sky. Yet I still can’t help but wonder, can you do things you aren’t meant to? Things that you weren’t born to do, but wanted to do. As if your soul was born to be one of a gentle woman. One that would make flowers bloom at dawn with the sound waves of her voice, however you’re born with the broad and bulky body of a man. Well I don’t think that’s important, for now at least. There were only three things that were significant; my kite, my mother and this moment. I feel my mother’s soft eyes watch me as I maneuver the kite along with the wind. My mother had always told me to follow my dreams, she says if people can believe in something or someone that doesn’t have any legitimate proof of existing. Then why not believe in yourself? After all, you’re the only one who could prove you’ve lived and walked on this world. Yes, my dream is to perform. To make people believe in themselves, to guide them for a better tomorrow. But dreams and your purpose here are very different, that’s what I think at least. That is my dream, no doubt. But my main purpose here in this world is to help people find their purpose, what they’re dreaming for. To assist them in stretching their hands out to the something they yearn for.

I snap out of thought once my mother’s calloused yet gentle hands hold mine, to help me guide the kite. Making sure it doesn’t get stuck in any of the trees or things around the field. My mother, for you. I will reach for things higher than this kite of mine can. My distractive thoughts became one with the wind, blowing my kite away from my grasp. I watched as the kite flew away, never to be seen again. My mom took me home that day, I never forgot about that kite. No amount of kites could replace it. I decided to always visit that field, my mother has been busy with work these past few years. Making her unable to take me there anymore, but I wasn’t mad. I knew it was for me, and more importantly. For her.

#oc #oc backstory #oc thoughts #original character #filler post #dont mind my rambling #abbie's bubbles ✎♡

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1d1195 · 9 months ago

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I tend to keep a lot of my "vulnerable" feelings a bit bottled up lol BUT I am working on that lol I of course appreciate you sooo much! Even before I claimed the 💜emoji, I HEAVILY related to your MC's like there were so many similarities in their personality and struggles that for a second got a little TOO REAL lol And to know you put alot of yourself into your stories and characters it felt nice to know that I wasn't alone in feeling like that. Sometimes it feels like something is so wrong with me when it gets tough so knowing that my feelings aren't so strange made/makes me feel alright :) idk if any of that made sense lol

omg don't even get me started when parents trauma dump 😭 idk if i mentioned this before or not but Im first gen Mexican American so literally Mexican parents/elders will literally tell you the most TRAUMATZING stories/experiences then go to say shit like "it's okay, thank god we are better now😁" LIKE HELLO!? WE NEED TO UNPACK THAT?!

I often think if I would be "happier" if I had just chosen a semester school bc I despise this horrid system lol But youre so kind, you have no idea😭

OMG YOU THINK I HAVE A SOCIAL LIFE??? thats crazy bc I feel like mine isn't too crazy or fun lol I have a small core group of friends but the majority of them aren't in school and the friends I do have in college i feel like I rarely seem them due to all of us being so busy lol But ngl i do love going to the free events there like concerts and drag shows WHICH ARE MY FAVE!!! but even then hanging out can sometimes be a little draining for me but once again Im trying to work on that lol.

But bestie you graduated early?! That's really cool! And that is such a big accomplishment! And I can't blame you for wanting your Friends moment like who wouldn't want that?! I wanted a cute little college romance but instead Im over hear falling for my professor lol OH i forgot to mention I have a cute TA in one of my psyc classes so Im saying sorry in advance for how annoying I will be about him 😔

AH you know I love you Sam! You seriously are someone I look forward to chatting with!-💜

I totally get the bottling your feelings up. I think Tulips is most like that. She has some issues (she, being me). I'm glad feeling relatable was a comfort for you. I know it's a comfort for me and I think one of the NICEST things about writing on here is that there are actually many people share the same feelings as me (us). Way more than I thought. It's kind of isolating day-to-day so it's nice to know it doesn't have to be.

HEY RANDOM!!! do you know your Myer's Brigg Personality? I am a HUGE personality test taker. Those buzzfeed ones that were like "What toaster are you?" literally obsessed. or the soldier, poet, king test? Any of them! I love them. It might be a little confirmation bias-y in my own personality but I don't care; I love them. HAHAHAHHAHA I did one for a job years ago I would have to dig it out to remember what the actual test was but i think it was like your big 5 qualities in the work place. Anyway, it made me think of more ways we could be similar (I'm an INFJ - (T) but if I use my teacher persona I can be convinced to be an ENFJ --but I'm a major introvert at heart obvi)

My mom and I are very similar. My bf has some pretty convincing theories about how my mom used to be like my sister and then turned into me when she had kids because she had to be responsible. So her trauma dumping often includes a lot of regrets and worries. You've mentioned your Mexican-American heritage before and I've seen a lot in the media (I know it's not exactly the same and probs also childish of me to rely on Disney for media but Encanto and Coco I feel like were semi-good examples--please don't think the worst of me if you disagree) Encanto especially--Grandma has some things to talk through. That's a lot to unload on you (or anyone!). Again, nice to know it's relatable even if it's sad sometimes. At least I'm not alone! 💕

UGH I can't wait to write TA Harry 😍 You could NEVER be annoying. I want the play-by-play PLEASE it will be the best inspo and I need to live vicariously!!! I've never been to a drag show but definitely on the list of things I'd like to attend! I fall into the latter part of your sentence there. I refrain from doing a lot of things because I'm already so busy on a regular day I don't want to do anything that will require energy when I don't need to use it HAHAHAHA

You're so sweet, thank you. At the time graduating early felt like a really big deal. Now I feel like it doesn't mean much. I guess it saved me some money right? There isn't much I won't do for a coupon 😂

Love you! Hope your week is being good to you!

xoxo

#💜

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mr-independent · 2 years ago

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more, you said? well I would hate to disappoint the whole 4 people that read these ramblings lol. Once more unto the breach, yall

s2e6: The Signal aka Pricks. Pricks everywhere.

-- Rebecca believing in bigfoot? its more likely than you think.

-- ever just walk into your daughters house unannounced to the sight of a very naked man half your daughters age making tea? and then proceed to flirt with him right after leaving your husband for the 10 thousandth time?

-- the whole H.R. Pufnstuf reference is just. That show had one singular season. The main character was technically a puppet but in reality a big Barney-like "dragon" that looked like the rejected member of the McDonalds characters. I get the whole stranger-in-a-strange-land thread there, and the human boy was English, but still that's such a niche reference

-- Steve Wieb v Billy Mitchell as a David-Goliath example. Again with the niche references, expecting two English football coaches to know about a 2010's ongoing battle of fucking arcade style Donkey Kong.

-- the premiere of the Jamie Pooh Bear style.

-- "Best advice I've received is to leave people well" well we better hope that idea is in Ted's head in the finale, yeah?

-- I will absolutely be incorporating the "poor little cake! soggy bottom!" song into my bakeoff watches from here on out. If you know me irl and come to those, I apologise in advance.

-- Ted trying so hard to learn from Roy is adorable. Ted knows the coaching bit, Roy knows the football bit, Ted knows they have to mind meld to get this to work and is not afraid to show it.

-- Rebecca's childhood nickname was sausage. Why.

-- This is a pattern, actually. A mom coming in, calling her child an adorable nickname, and promising to make their favourite meal. I've connected the dots. I've connected them.

-- Ted trying to hide himself giving Jamie the bird by moving his coat like there isnt a camera right in front of him?

-- they are really starting to hammer in the fact that Ted actually does often overlook Nate, especially since Roy joined as coach. Like yes, its often natural and justified, but from Nate's perspective its pretty noticeable

-- Nate mispronounces Richard's name. idk why that bothers me but it really does.

-- they easily could have had Rebecca find Ted, but they didn't. I appreciate the narrative weight that holds.

-- Beard's backstory really shines through often even in the earlier seasons, like when he hugs Higgins and says he gets it when Higgins questions his and Jane's relationship

-- ted has his jacket on when hes in dr sharons office later that night, after rebecca found it earlier. Ted hid somewhere else, went to his office, got his jacket, and then went up to Dr Sharons, if anyone needs that for timeline purposes.

#ted lasso #teddy rewatches ted

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l0v3lyr0ses · 3 years ago

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Older sister

Character: Glamrock!Freddy

Type: Angst, comfort, fluff

Fem!reader

Prompt: inspired by surface pressure from Encanto. Y/n is a woman in her early twenties still living with her parents and four teenage siblings who dump their trauma and burdens onto her and so do her parents. She hardly has time to think about herself, she is the family therapist. But for once someone finally let her vent and would listen

i tried making it seem comfort in it but I have a feeling i did a shitty job, I kinda also feel like um, i made Glamrock fred seem a bit OOC idk.

-Mae

"Another shift!" y/n smiled nervously, she hoped her siblings had something to eat while she was gone. Mom and dad were out on a late-night date again, she did wonder how these dates were used as an excuse to neglect their children. She hoped tonight would be successful, what are you thinking y/n? she knew this would be a piece of cake, nothing to worry about.

Later, she realized, earlier while cleaning Freddy's messy room. She left her phone in there, y/n had to get to it, to get it back. To check on her mischiefs of teenagers often got up to mischief when alone home. and often the blam was placed onto her, regardless if they blamed it on

She left the security room, turning her flashlight on. y/n's face wasn't on all the animatronics face recognition systems' only Roxy, Freddy, and Montgomery's. Chica was one concern, y/n decided to take the risk, her parents would be pissed if they returned in the morning and the house was trashed. But she didn't care how hard this task maybe, she was tough. She could handle this.

The temperature had dropped in the pizza plex, she shivered at the strange frigid breeze inside the dark corridor, the only light source the flashlight. y/n heard Chica further away, not too far behind her. Fortunately, Freddy's room was not far off, but she had to be silent.

y/n eventually found her way to the door of Freddy's dressing room, she didn't have the time to be polite and knock, or else Chica might get to her. She walks inside quickly locking the door behind her.

"I'm sorry for not knocking but Chica was hot on my heels." y/n smiled sadly, at the friendly animatronic bear.

she was interacting with Freddy, yet in the back of her mind y/n couldn't help but still automatically be in the 'golden, perfect' older sister role.

That breaks the camel's back

What breaks the camel's back?

The pressure of pleasing her siblings was unbearable, she just wanted to collapse. But then again y/n is the older sibling, she can't break down. y/n is meant to be like a diamond unshatterable, in condition to stand everything.

"Are you alright, superstar?" Freddy questioned the trembling female, he knew she left her phone but he had a notion that this was something more than a simple device.

"Y-yes." Her breath hitched, she wasn't frightened of him..

He didn't want to force her, accepting her wishes. But the anxious glimpses didn't stop. y/n sat on his couch and start crying and silently sobbing. "give it to your sister, your sister's older" "Give her all the heavy things we can't shoulder" her words hurt her more than it hurt him to see hunched over tears streaming down her soft cheeks, and that's saying something since Freddy does not love anyone more than her

"What good am I if I can't service well?" she wept, salty tears stinging in her e/c eyes, she felt everything so much right now.

Without hesitation, Freddy with his 8 feet frame wrapped his arms around her, for mere comfort, and to show that he cares and wants to listen to her, no matter what it is. yet the words the repeated in her mind were,

Pressure like a grip, grip, grip and it won't let go Pressure like a tick, tick, tick 'til it's ready to blow

"Give it to your sister, your sister's stronger See if she can hang on a little longer" she silently trembled, against Freddy

"Who am I if I can't carry it all?" she softly spoke,

She was barely holding on to the large teddy bear, but Freddy's metal body, holding hers, was a comfort to her. It made everything seem less lonely.

"your family cannot expect you to carry their burdens before, considering your own." Freddy softly spoke, clearly not wanting to appear uncaring, or that he is pitying her family issues.

"Under the surface" she nearly whispers, Freddy's hand squeezes hers affectionately, to show his support.

you hide your nerves and it worsens, you worry something is gonna hurt them" Freddy was reading her mind, or he simply knew her well enough to read her like an open book, he actually understood.

"Under the surface-" she begins, before being interrupted

"The ship doesn't swerve as it heard how big the iceberg is"

"Under the surface!-" she was once more caught off guard, Freddy truly was full of surprises.

"you think about your purpose, can you somehow preserve this?" Freddy said as if he understood her situation.

Line up the dominoes A light wind blows You try to stop it tumbling But on and on it goes

Were the thoughts circulating her mind right now, she couldn't shake off the feeling. y/n purses her soft lips, her eyes for the first time truly, meeting his blue ones.

"But wait" she softly said, "If I could shake the crushing weight of expectations Would that free some room up for joy" she spoke with a hopeful expression painted on her soft features. "Or relaxation, or simple pleasure?" Freddy responded to the female, hoping it'd turned around, and maybe she was beginning to feel better "Instead we measure this growing pressure" Freddy said his hand softly placed on hers, "Keeps growing, keep going" y/n responds, no flinching, no pulling away either. This must've been some progress in the relationship between her and Freddy. usually she flinched at any touch, 'Cause all we know is

still, the pressure never seemed to end, her racing heart wouldn't slow down. the pressure that would simply keep her unstable as a person, that wouldn't end until y/n pops

"Give it to your sister, it doesn't hurt." She begins to softly cry again but less extreme this time around.

"And see if she can handle any family burden" her eyes softly scanned Freddy for any dishonesty, her eyes soften when she sees his earnest soft eyes.

"watch as she buckles and bends but never breaks No mistakes" y/n's eyes softly dropped to her lap, sadly.

"My superstar, it's alright. For you to vent to me. I am your boyfriend, am I not?" his voice softly urged her to rest her head against his shoulder.

"thank you so much, Freddy." she gazed up at him both lovingly and gratefully. he truly was her savior, she felt happier than she did before.

y/n softly presses her lips against his cheek, before relaxing for once and snuggling into the giant bear animatronic, whose arms rested on her waist. and softly chuckled at the smaller female,

"I love you, my superstar." he softly ran his paw-like fingers through the strands of hair.

#FNAF #fnaf security breach #security breach x reader #glamrock freddy x reader #xreader

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mistleaneous-chaos · 3 years ago

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Elden Ring Thought Dump Time!

Elden Ring Spoilers

Honestly one of my favorite things recently has been imagining the backstories of the Tarnished based on the little descriptions we get on the background options, like

The Prisoner is a former noble, but I think they were also a Carian Noble, or at least descended from one. See, their starting spell is a prototype for the Carian Phalanx, so I like to think that it’s possible their ancestor was a Noble who took off on the Long March with Godfrey, and settled and passed down his magic in his bloodline. And one day, The Prisoner was imprisoned for reasons, and only could remember the one spell their ancestor passed down: The Magic Glintblade. It’d also make it poetic if they marry Ranni, as they would return and become a “Carian” Noble once more.

Or, how the Hero is said to be the descendant of a Badlands Chieftain. So the possibility of them being a descendant of Hoarah Loux/Godfrey. So that means that the Hero could very well have left without being made aware of Hoarah Loux’s connection to the Lands Between, and would add a tinge of tragedy to the Second-to-last fight, as you’d basically be fighting your However-many-greats Grandfather.

Idk, I just think that’s fun to do

Along with that, I’ve been thinking abt Miquella, and uh. If the shit abt him being St. Trina is true, then. He’s like, suspicious as fuck, right??? Like it’s not just me thinking that. The idea of a demigod with the disarming guise of a child, who can compel affection and calm others is kind of, uh. Weird. Especially when you think about all the people in the Haligtree, some of whom can literally explode. Like what if Miquella is a bit more sinister than he appears? Idk, just a thought.

Speaking of, I really adore how Godfrey’s just, huge. Like it was entirely possible that he would just be our size, but him just being big is funny as hell, because there’s no particular reason stated for it besides being raised to be a demigod but even then that doesn’t prove much since Godwyn was a demigod and wasn’t that big. And they could have done some bullshit where “Oh he had a Great Rune somehow which was why he was so big!” But no they just made him big for no reason and that is sick

Morgott basically saying “Oh Gods mom is gonna kill me when she finds out I broke her chairs” is funny as hell to me. Also the fact that Mohg has such inferiority issues that he STOLE the second half of his brother’s name and slapped it onto his own to make his dynasty name is both sweet and hilarious to me.

Ok so there’s some lines of Marika casting someone out to the fringes you get from Melina at the Dectus Lift, and I headcanon that as being Godrick. Specifically, Godrick after Kristoff imprisoned Godefroy who could have been his father or something. Idk, I just think the idea of Marika saying “Listen, you can either stay with the Order and become one with it, or leave and start over” is just kind of, strange? Like was she giving Godrick a chance to leave the Order as a whole? Because it would go with Marika’s lack of faith in it, if she allowed Godrick the choice. Also it kind of gives Godrick some tragedy, as his grandmother or w/e basically gave him an ultimatum, leave or be SUPER RELIGIOUS. And knowing what happens to him, he left. And it contextualizes his last words

"One day we'll return together, to our home, bathed in rays of gold."

The game does a really good job of hiding it’s Bloodborne inspirations, because at first it just looks like a generic fantasy world, but then you go underground. And you find Aliens, Outer Gods, ruined Eternal Cities. And you realize that the Greater Will is not the only Higher Being in this world, and there are others trying to usurp its power for their own needs.

Kale’s lines at the beginning carry so much more fucking weight after the Cathedral Of The Forsaken and that’s fucking amazing.

I’ll prolly have more thoughts later but this is all I’ve got for now. Peace!

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epros · 2 years ago

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hey guys do you remember when i first got into milgram and made a crazy post about haruka? im about to ramble a bit because i dont feel like making something more in depth but remember when in that post i talked about how my first impression of the girl hes with as a child was not his sister 9or friend???) but his idealized self? well i decided afterwards that both of those things can be true and the release of “all knowing all-agony” solidified that for me hey. dont walk away. let me explain. (deckard cain voice) stay a while and listen... its obvious that harukas relationship with his parents (particularly his mother) is very fraught. they clearly dont care for him. when they have a daughter who is “normal” (not an effeminate ‘son’ who is developing differently than other children) (because haruka is autistic) (if you get it you get it) they stop pretending to care about haruka and focus on the daughter instead and haruka is like what the fuck 😐... haruka killed her for 2 reasons: 1. because he was sick of being neglected by their parents who favored her, particularly their mother because idk the dad has to be absent or a serial killer considering haruka didnt even attempt to latch onto him for approval in the absence of his mothers love (dad does not want a girly “son” even if said son will join the serial killer business) (i cannot explain this further at the moment but it makes sense if youre me or tshirt) (to be brief the fact haruka had been previous validated for killing someone/something and thinks killing Again will totally earn more love and validation is so strange and makes no sense even in the context of if the death was because of his parents taxidermy hobby because theres a stark difference in killing an animal and killing a person and most taxidermied animals are already dead not killed For The Sake Of Taxidermy in this the year of 2022 so someone is a serial killer) and 2. because he was like well there can only be one girl here and youre a REAL girl which is not fair . But if youre gone i will be the girl again. #win the fact all knowing all agony starts with lines like “why was i born like this / why does it hurt so much?” and “you kept calling me ‘hopeless’, you never called me by my name / you were always comparing me to someone else / you were always generous, except towards me / i will definitely make you love me again” and him going into his mothers(?) jewelry drawer and taking a necklace (that might have been his sisters 🤨✍????) is like. there is something happening here. the insistence that “i wasnt wrong, i wasnt wrong” (which was also present weakness) during the chorus, along with pleas for someone to “hug me again as you once did” and “dont leave me alone, dont leave me” and, like the beginning of the song, “why was i born like this? why does it hurt so much?” just makes the soup in my brain start bubbling the real meat of what im trying to talk about comes from lines like “i just wanted to be your good boy. why am i crying again?” and “i will keep on killing to be a good boy”. near the end we also get “why was i born to be me? why does it hurt so much?” like, his mother only validated him when he was a “boy”, and he was killing. apparently. but doing this is painful for him. existing as a boy and also killing people(?) (things?) for attention isnt something haruka particularly wants to do but its what gets the attention he needs. i havent forgotten that in weakness he asked “how many more times do i have to do this so i can be human?” implying if he does not kill he is not human enough. but also his mother was clearly distraught at the end of the video when haruka was on a pile of animal corpses (which was an awesome visual just btw) theres something going on anyway the point im winding to is haruka is a girl actually and maybe her dad is a serial killer (who knows) her mom sucked and maybe she killed her sister out of frustration and neglect and also because she wanted to steal her gender (but haruka was a girl before her sister came into the picture make no mistake she did not decide to become a girl because her sister got more attention and love than she did. but it did prove to her in her mind that oh well if im a girl then 🤨... like do you get it?)

tshirt put it thusly after we watched all knowing all agony: “i'm just like. narrativizing this in my head like "oh and haruka self consciously models himself after specific women in order to gain their approval and also disavow the femininity as emerging intrinsically from him-- btw also his dad is killing people" which i think sums up what im trying to say because ive just kind of been on a stream of consciousness ramble because i fell asleep thinking about harukaisms last night truly i cant get over the repetition of lines like “why was i born like this why does it hurt so much” “i wanted to be your good boy / why am i crying again” like im sorry but there is something so gender about taking on the habits of the women around you and being agonized by the fact you are not physically like them and crying over being a boy but wanting to be a boy because its what you “are” and the only thing your parents will see you as and they are the only source of love and validation you have in your life even though they are not validating or loving you and resent you the more you try to gain their affections. LIKE MAKE IT MAKE SENSE ? also i think its really funny if harukas dad IS a serial killer because we have someone like kotoko who is gungho for vigilante justice so much so she beat the shit out of an 11 year old cult survivor (i wont forgive milgram fandom for voting amane guilty btw) and mikoto who is so stressed by familial responsibility and work that he started disassociating and beat a guy to death with a baseball bat and also shidou botched surgeries for reasons currently unclear (finger paresthesia? moving a loved one up on the organ donor list? both?) and its just like. haruka with the actual lucid serial killer dad. who also kills people because she feels like she has to. i dont know its just really funny to think about... (theres also futas whole thing and kazuis and yunos but they arent killers. probably. futa wasnt a willfully malicious murderer he just accidentally doxxed a woman alongside the guy who was sexually harassing her and social pressure drove her to suicide. kazui is a closeted gay man with a wife who may or may not have killed herself. i wrote a whole thing about it remember? and yuno had an abortion. which like, is against the law, especially if she didnt have the ‘fathers’ consent to do it, and depending on the method of abortion. mahiru has something going on idfk if shes a stalker or what. and then theres haruka and muu. muu is so funny spoiled rich lesbian schoolgirl who is feeling super validated that her murder was justified because she was being bullied and now she has haruka to yank around. falling back on her old ojou-sama hobbies. good for her) milgram is so funny.... anyway tl;dr i do think haruka displayed girl power when she murdered her sister(?) and whoever or whatever else she might have killed for attention and voting her innocent/forgiven is the best option (because its the funniest option for her future development)

#milgram #sakurai haruka #you all should have voted mikoto innocent too because it would have been funny #you see it isnt about what is 'best' for the characters interests and positive character development its about what is funniest #fandom said they cared about 'positive character development' and voted amane guilty like get real #anyway #i forgot to preface the post but i talk about haruka being a girl and murder and abortion and animal death #just fyi

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charmixpower · 3 years ago

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Oh sense s4 is obviously not gonna give me any more good content for my girls, I thought I'd rank them based on how much I subjectively like them ^^

Musa: This one is obvious. Musa is very clearly my favorite girl... She's so pretty y'all, and she reminds me a lot of myself?? She's very relatable and in s1-2 she has almost all of my favorite outfits. Musa's sense of humor is absolutely peak as well. I love how she's both kinda upright about school rules but also clearly wants to challenge every soical convention. "Cheating on tests? Why, academic dishonesty only harms you. Follow the dress code? Fuck you fight me." Musa is also a bit unhinged, she wakes up and chooses violence. I esp love how a lot of her stuggles are her own emotions...girl me too

Stella: Stella is best girl. She's my second favorite but she's also best girl. She's funny, she's pretty, she has a deep emotional side? Get you a girl that can do it all. I really love how Stella functions 100% on emotions, girl will not give up on her friends/boyfriend for nothing. Stella is that bitch, she has probably punched one of the Trix before and I love her for it. Not to mention how confident she is while also being super insecure, that complexity is such an amazing layer to her personality

Aisha: Aisha reminds me of my mom but like with more of my personality. My mom is veteran and ultra protective and Aisha free climbing a palace to save the pixies? Hell or high water, Aisha never gives on someone she loves. Her strength is contrasted with her anxiety and I love that?? Aisha is the epitome of the mom friend anxiety override, and I love her for it. Tho my favorite part of her is how she goes into her own little world when she dances, she feelin herself, everyone else can leave this is her dance floor. Also Aisha's fashion being girly sports champion is so good

Bloom: I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about Bloom but that mostly bc she's the main character. Like Bloom has so many interesting things about her, I esp love the Roxy parallel and the idea of her having to take responsibility in a culture she's never seen before. It's sooo interesting. I wish the weird art girl thing was leaned into more, oh and Bloom's anger. Bloom growls at people and I respect that. Aside from that I'm kinda meh on Bloom, I don't dislike her but she doesn't make me think about her for multiple hours on end like everyone above her does

Tecna: if Tecna wasn't surrounded by characters that all act like her (Timmy and Digit) and didn't have one character arc she keeps repeating (learning to be more emotional) she'd be higher than Bloom. I love the concept of Tecna! Autistic girl is always connected to the internet, ostracized by all her peers she develops a hard outer shell and a strange way of communicating because she was nomrally around adults. Like? Yes, amazing. We were robbed of seeing Tecna's Omega Dimension adventure. I wish more of her dorky side was shown, the mini winx thing is adorable and her clear love of romance once she starts expressing herself is do cute

Flora: if Flora kept her mad scientist traits I would like her more, but after s1 Flora was like just kinda sweet. Also her being super shy around Helia felt ooc to me?? Idk Flora seems to be the most self secure of the girls, and she's also completely unafraid to mock and sass people, I could see her being shy but not that shy... I simply do not think about her all that much 😔

#Tecna and Flora fell victim to not enough screen time-itus #Tecna... i love her so much... i want more to think about with her PLEASE #winx club #winx musa #winx stella #winx bloom #winx aisha #winx layla #winx tecna #winx flora #rus chatters

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ghostietea · 4 years ago

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Furuba autistic headcanons

With it being April, or autism acceptance month, I wanted to finally drop my list of characters from Fruits Basket that I read as autistic! This is based a lot on my own experience, as well as that of other autistics I know or have seen talk online. I hope some people can get something out of it, feel free to tell me what you think 😊, though please refrain from getting upset that I would dare suggest your fave is autistic.

Hanajima

Before becoming able to better control her powers, she would be constantly overwhelmed by the things she heard to the point that she couldn't even really go out in public. This reads a lot like sensory overload.

Constantly picked on in school because other kids thought she was weird. Eventually reclaimed this weirdness and turned it into a whole persona.

Seems to talk usually in a relatively flat tone.

Had trouble socializing with no friends outside her family until middleschool.

Has a very funny, dry sense of humor that I find very similar to a bunch of autistics I know, including myself.

Hatsuharu

Listen. You have seen the funky little man, you have seen the way he talks, the way he acts around others. He is, and I mean this in the best way, a weirdo. I do not know how you could look at him and see a neurotypical.

Once again, like Hana, Haru is funny in a way that feels very autistic.

Very flat, dry, tone delivery. Sometimes just Says Things that make everyone else go huh??? Suuuuper blunt. Doesn't emote facially a lot of the time.

When this man sees a social norm he doesn't get he WILL NOT follow it. Pierces his ears just because his hair got flak, defends Momiji wearing whatever he wants because sometimes y'know the social rules are just dumb and don't make sense. Especially dress codes.

Sometimes says things not befitting the current tone of the situation.

Represses (masks) a lot of his emotions, leading to outbursts that seem uncharacteristic.

His main childhood trauma revolves around adults branding him as "dumb" and ridiculing him. Haru, however, is super smart and wise!! Just in an offbeat way that not everyone may get.

Machi

Reads as very "flat" emotionally to the point that others would call her boring. Also has a flat vocal delivery.

Relies on specific habits or ways of doing things or else she gets super upset (her hatred of imperfection.

Has trauma surrounding adults completely misconstruing her intentions and thinking she's doing something malicious when she's not.

Generally behaves in a way that's hard for others to understand, one of her formative moments with Yuki was him saying he wanted to "see how the world looks" through her eyes.

Once again, trouble socializing.

Tries super hard to please her parents but in the end they still see her as somehow inherently "defective."

Listen. A lot of this one and the last two are mostly vibes, hard to verbally define. You just have to look at them and trust me.

Tohru

Displays behavior very reminiscent of masking throughout the story, a huge part of her arc is about how she hides a lot of herself and has a very controlled persona. I think it would fit very well if she had other autistic behaviors that she suppresed also it helps explain why she is relatively socially adept, it's learned behavior to make people like her more.

Yes she is very good at saying what others need to hear, but especially early on she is pretty blatantly imitating her mother's words. She only gets better at getting through on a more personal level later on (see her with Rin and Akito v. early series Tohru). She does this by relating her own experiences, a very autistic way of showing empathy that often gets us written off as self centered. The way she relays things her mom said could also be seen as this, and she even worries at a few points that she's being insensitive for going on about things like that.

While emotionally repressed she is hyper empathetic and feels other's emotions so strongly she cries.

Her speech patterns are all imitated from her father and she often copies verbal things from others (see Ritchan-san). Noted in canon that people think her way of speaking is slightly off/not befitting of someone her age. Additionally, her father was polite more sarcastically, while she plays it straight and sometimes takes things very literally or fails to get the message, indicating trouble with reading tone. Has numerous strange verbal tics, including saying parts of her internal monologue out loud without context.

Very expressive with her hands including waving them around and flapping them up and down.

Does have a bit of trouble with accidental insensitivity in social interactions, like how she constantly fixates on her mom and realizes that might bug the Sohma.

Has trouble paying attention in school since it doesn't have much to do with her interests

Her only friend until she was a middle schooler was her mom

Has a pretty unique outlook on things compared to others, people seem to think she's pretty eccentric. There's always a "this girl is nice but in an odd way, she's our weirdo and we love her" vibe.

Sometimes has an "inappropriate" emotional response to situations

Has a lot of trouble with change, similar to Akito. Which oh, look at the time, next hc coming up.

But first, a disclaimer. It is cathartic for me to read Akito this way, but with that reading comes the baggage that she would, mayhaps, be showing a more negative side of things... It doesn't bother me since it's a joint hc with other characters and she does develop at the end but yeah, general villain hc baggage. This is in no way me trying to excuse her being The Worst being autistic doesn't absolve you of being able to do wrong . Also, a lot of these points can and do have other explanations related to her upbringing, but things can be for more than 1 reason. With that said, she really strongly comes off as autistic to me, in a way that's sorta hard to explain. I wrote a lot more for her than the other, both because I felt I needed more to convince people and that this headcanon was more sensitive and I needed to be careful in my explanation. Also hey! She's my special interest within a special interest.

Akito

Shown to have a dislike of summer weather due to heat and brightness, could be due to sensory issues in tandem with sickness things. Also covers her ears when people raise their voice sometimes which is partially her trying to shut down opposition but also 🤔 can read a different way. She'd also avoids louder Juuni like Ritsu and Ayame because she can't handle them.

Wears pretty much the same outfit every single day. Said outfit is also pretty loose fitting.

Always seen sitting in a pretty unconventional way. Evidence:

Of course this is also the isolated in a cult thing and there is a level of her purposefully doing things to intimidate but: doesn't follow a lot of social rules (overly touchy with strangers, legit doesn't get that what she's doing is wrong, ect.). Repeatedly confused when people indicate she should act otherwise without explanation. Has a breakdown when this comes to a head and approximately says that "they" shouldn't expect her to know "common sense" if "they" never explained it to her, that the way that she was was her "common sense."

Often talks in a way uncharacteristic of her age when shown as a child in a more faux mature/pretentious way. Might just be the translation and idk how to explain it but her speech as an adult also seems off from what one would normally use in conversation. Additionally, when she tries to fake being friendly in her intro chapter, it comes of as extremely stiff and unconvincing.

Generally displays behavior that could be thought of as childish as an adult, but a lot of this behavior could also read as autistic (covering ears, emotional deregulation and meltdowns, ignorance of basic social norms, ect.). It's also important to note that she knows that this behavior makes her seem younger and more helpless to the older zodiac and uses it as a manipulation tactic. Has issues regarding people treating her like a child or only hanging out with her because of pity. While she does weaponize it, we can tell that this grates on her, as seen with her finally blowing up on Kureno, which is partially triggered by the maids saying some sorta infantalizing stuff about her. Irl, a lot of autistic adults and teens struggle with being infantalized for our behavior generally or treated as little babies that can do no wrong. Even in fandom, you see people doing stuff like jumping to call autistic adult characters, such as Entrapta from Shera, "minor coded." It is also common for us to have at least one bad experience with someone hanging around us out of pity. This is something that really gave me a similar feeling in Akito's arc. She's not a baby and she can understand and do better if she is given the chance to learn and break from all the freaky cult indoctrination she's been subjected to instead of just being constantly enabled. In the end, a lot of her growth is represented by her showing that she is capable of changing and being independent.

Shows particular difficulty with socialization, often sits by herself spacing out at social events. A lot of her fear is rooted in the fact that she doesn't know how normal relationships work, becoming overly reliant on the curse because she doesn't know how to make friends.

Clings desperately onto the notion of being "special" and in some way superior to others to be worthy and to make up for perceived inherent "flaws." It's the nd gifted kid burnout vibes for me.

Easily bothered by things that don't bother others. Feels emotions very strongly to the point of getting physically ill and has bad emotional regulation.

Relatively good at reading others in an analytical sense (though has more trouble when it comes to seeing how they feel about her since she's wildly delusional) but brings up her observations in a very cold, detached way and hurts people even on the rare occasion she didn't mean to. Has extreme trouble connecting to others and understanding their point of view. This makes her come off as pretty unempathetic even though that might not fully be the case. Also thinks that people like Momiji are trying to look down on her when they try to empathize with her. A lot of why Tohru can get through to her is that she manages to convince Akito that she's not condescending by relating shared traits and experiences. As I said earlier, autistics often empathize by sharing their own experiences with someone, and I know I often have an easier time confiding in other autistics because of a fear of being seen as lesser by those that don't understand me. I think the connection between these charachters and the way that Tohru manages to reach Akito like that while others couldn't makes a lot of sense through an autistic lense!

Additionally, when Akito herself gets around to trying to help others instead of just projecting trauma, she tries to reach out to the old maid by relating back to her own experiences. This however, doesn't work.

Has "cold" emotional reactions sometimes even to things that do make her upset. For example, how sort of calm and detached she acted after her father's death can make her seem uncaring. However, we know that this event did mess her up a lot and she is still (poorly) dealing with a lot of grief from the death of her father years later.

Copies mannerisms from others, the most blatant example is with Ren, who she directly parrots lines from as a child to Yuki.

Partly just her posturing, but gestures a lot with her hands when she talks. Also seen several times clutching her hands in her hair.

Deals extremely poorly with the idea of things changing to the point that it is a driving force of the story.

Does not understand when people tease her.

Ect. Ect. Ect. Listen, I could go on for ages but just trust me, the mean gremlin lady is autistic.

#fruits basket #akito sohma #tohru honda #saki hanajima #machi kuragi #hatsuharu sohma #actually autistic #meta

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sunflowergirl522 · 4 years ago

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Stuck in Westview

Pairing: Peter Maximoff x Reader

Request by Anon: Okay, okay, so I had an idea and idk you'll do it but it's worth a shot. Plant mutation reader x Peter where they both get stuck in Westview? I haven't really thought about it past that, so the rest is up to you!

A/n: The more I wrote this one the less I liked how it was turning out but I didn’t want to leave you hanging so I tried my best. I hope you like it.

Warnings: Language

Word Count: 2689

Masterlist

You didn’t remember much when the two of you first arrived in Westview. But you were with Peter and he seemed to know where he was going so you felt fine about it. You were ecstatic when the two of you walked up to the door and Wanda answered it. You’ve always wanted to meet Peter’s sister and now that you were, you felt like you were in a dream. Actually the whole time you’ve been in Westview has felt like a dream.

“You alright baby?” Peter’s voice breaks you out of whatever trance you were in and you look at him.

“Yeah, I’m good just lost in thought I guess, sorry.”

“You’re fine dear.” Wanda speaks as Peter wraps an arm around your shoulders and Vision comes down with a blanket and some pillows. “I uh, hope the couch will be fine for the two of you. The spare room still isn’t ready; we weren’t exactly expecting company.”

“The couch will be just fine Wanda.”

“Yeah sis, just gives us an excuse to be pressed against each other all night.” Wanda scoffs at Peter before bidding the two of you a goodnight.

“She’s nice.” You tell Peter as the two of you settle down to sleep.

“Yeah. I’m glad the two of you get along.” He yawns and kisses the top of your head as he pulls you into his chest.

In the morning you wake up well before Peter like normal. Though it was more the afternoon than the morning, you may always wake up before your boyfriend but you did end up adopting his poor sleep schedule. You lay next to him relishing in his warmth for a while before getting up and making your way into the kitchen for some cereal. Tommy comes down first and heads to the kitchen before Billy comes down dressed in a costume.

“Halloween’s a magical holiday. All about family, friends, and the thrill of getting to be someone else for a day.” You think that he’s speaking to you at first but very quickly realize it’s like he’s talking to an imaginary audience. Your eyebrows scrunch together in confusion as you watch him from your spot on the couch at Peter's feet. You shake your head assuming it was just a kid thing and pick up your bowl to put it in the sink. “Where’s your costume Tommy?”

“This is my costume. I’m the cool twin.”

“Then what does that make me?”

“Hmm, a dorkasaurus rex.” You hold in the chuckle that wants to escape as the joke seems to fly over Billy’s head as he tells his twin that it's not a real dinosaur. You high five Tommy when Billy leaves the kitchen with a smile before he follows his brother. The two of them bicker about Billy being scared of Peter not realizing that they’ve woken him up.

“Blood is thicker than water! I show you!” You laugh as you watch Peter chase the kids around from the kitchen doorway. When Wanda comes down the stairs complaining about the noise you walk over to them and take your place next to Peter, who immediately wraps an arm around you bringing you closer to him.

“I’m a Sokovian fortune teller.”

“Wow. That is so…lame.” You elbow him in the ribs when his statement causes Tommy to change his own from rad to lame.

“I think you look great! If you didn’t have a husband I’d leave this doof and try getting with the better twin.” Wanda blushes slightly and laughs at your words.

While Peter and Wanda talk about old Halloween’s you follow the twins to the couch to play video games with them. When Billy starts to talk to the invisible audience once more you look at him confused again before looking to see if Tommy noticed it too but he’s either too focused on the game or doesn’t see anything weird about it. Peter makes his way over eventually chuckling at something that happened. You give him your spot on the floor and sit behind him on the couch.

“Hey babe you wanna go get 4 sodas from the fridge and we’ll teach these rugrats how to shotgun?” You just shrug and nod before getting up. “Get out of here, get out of here.” Peters trying to slap Tommy’s controller out of his hands to distract him as you juggle the four cans to the couch. You hand them out to the three boys before taking your spot again. Peter makes the holes in the bottom of their cans so they don’t hurt themselves trying and goes to do it for you just to find yours already done. “Alright when I give the signal you bring the hole to your mouth and open the can.” He makes sure they understand before exclaiming a ‘go’. Wanda and Vision soon start to fight and Billy once again speaks to the audience and Peter and you share a look after he scrunches his eyebrows up and looks to see if Tommy’s reacting.

You must have zoned out after that though because the next thing you know Peters scaring Wanda at the door and Visions gone. When did they talk about shaving cream in water balloons you find yourself wondering as you overhear the conversation. It must’ve just happened when you were in your head again.

“You don’t even have a costume.” Peter scoffs and then speeds off somewhere with Tommy to return in matching costumes that go with his power perfectly. “If I see any funny business, I am going to magic you into a pickled herring.”

“Y/n I got you a costume too!” Peter speeds in front of you and drops a bag in your lap.

“What is it?”

“Just go put it on.” He pulls you to your feet and starts to push you towards the stairs. You can’t help but laugh after you get into the bathroom and open the bag up to find a Poison Ivy costume. Once you finish putting it on you notice part of an ivy plant still in the bag with a note from Peter reading ‘To make it more realistic ;)-P’.

“Are you boys ready?” Wanda’s voice greets your ears as you make your way back downstairs.

“Yeah mom.” The twins speak at the same time and rush up to their mom who places her hands on their shoulders.

“Pietro, you better not be bringing any shaving cream filled water balloons!” You don’t dwell long on the fact that Wanda’s been calling him Pietro, he’s already told you that when he and his mom moved to the states she had him start going by Peter. And now only his family really calls him Pietro even though they’ve gotten into the habit of using Peter instead.

“I’m not! See empty handed.” The sound of your laughter as Peter appeared in front of the family holding his hands out as proof drew all of their attention to you. “You look great babe. I dig the crown thing you’ve got going on.” You had decided to grow the ivy around your head and then around the rest of your body randomly from there.

“Thanks.” You blush a bit at the attention as you join the four of them in front of the door.

“Woah aunt Y/n, who are you supposed to be?” Tommy asks as he takes in all the green.

“Have you guys really never seen a Batman show or read the comics? She’s Poison Ivy also known as Mother Nature, it fits Y/n a lot considering her power.”

“Her power?” Wanda asks as Billy asks you what it is.

“I can control plants.” You shrug it off because it’s not a big deal, there were plenty of cooler mutations than yours anyway (even if Peter would yell at you for thinking that).

“That’s so rad!” Peter high fives Tommy in agreement excited that his nephew likes it as much as he does.

“How did you get it?” Before you can tell Wanda that you were born with it, Peter gives her some bogus story that’s really similar to Poison Ivy's origin story. You’re confused because it doesn’t make sense for him to lie about it but you don’t have a chance to correct him before he’s taking your hand and pulling you out of the house to ‘get this party started’.

You watch smiling as Tommy and Billy race from house to house to see who can get the most candy and tune into what Wanda and Peter were talking about in time to hear him say she’s testing him. Why would she be testing him, for what?

“Hey, it’s cool. I know I look different.”

“Why do you...look different?” Look different? You turn to really study and look at Peter to try to see what she means. The only thing that’s different is that his hair is more blonde but that’s about it, it’s not some major change or anything. When the twins come back ready to keep moving down the street Peter brings you into a side hug and places a kiss on your temple before running with them to get more candy. Though you notice that Billy holds onto Tommy and Peter doesn’t even try to hold onto the backs of their necks. What happened to whiplash?

As everything starts to feel off to you and you try to figure things out your head starts to feel hazy and it’s like your body goes on autopilot as you strike up conversation with Wanda. It’s like an out of body experience as you basically just watch the conversation happen without knowing what’s being said. You feel so lost and empty right in this moment and it only fades a little when Wanda starts to talk to someone else. You don’t fully snap back into it until Peter laces his hand in yours again.

“Pete,” you say to him when Wanda and the kids walk ahead of you, “I feel strange.”

“What kind of strange?” He places a hand on your forehead to check if you’re warm. “You don’t have a fever. Are you queasy? Do you wanna go back to the house?”

“No, it’s not that I feel sick. I just, I don’t know how to explain it. I feel like a prisoner in my own body.”

“I think I know what you mean. It happens very suddenly right? And then something snaps you out of it and you feel better?”

“Yeah that’s it.”

“Uncle P are you coming?” Tommy’s voice pulls the two of your attention to them and Peter plasters a smile on his face.

“Sure am little dude, just had to tell your aunt how hot she looks again!” He pulls you behind him as he catches up with his family. The five of you make your way to the town square scare as it starts to become night.

“It’s so lame that you’re making them return the candy.” Peter says after a moment of silence passes from when Wanda scolded the twins for stealing it in the first place.

“I can’t believe what a bad influence you are?” You start to think about her words, you know it’s been a while since they’ve seen eachother but surely this is what Peter acted like growing up. It’s definitely how he’s acted the whole time you knew him.

“It’s what you wanted isn’t it?”

“What happened to your accent?”

“What happened to yours?” You watch as they seem to have a mini showdown challenging the other. “Details are fuzzy, man. I got shot like a chump on the street for no reason at all and next thing I know I hear you callin me. I knew you needed me.” His words don’t sit well with you, they don’t sound right but something in the back of your head makes you trust them.

“Uncle P, guess what?” The twins run up and semi break the tension in the air with their excitement.

“They’ve got full size candy bars a few blocks up. Can we go Mom?” Tommy then speeds away and comes back with some of the bars in his hand. You and Peter look at eachother shocked and you can see the excitement on his face that his nephew has the same power as him.

“Right on, little dude! Chip off the old Maximoff block. You got super speed!”

“I do?”

“Yeah!” The two of them high five with big excited smiles on their faces and you stand back with an adoring one. Peter may be a bad influence but he’s really just so good with kids. When Tommy starts to speed around whooping in joy you step closer to Peter and wrap your arms around his stomach smiling up at him.

“If you’re gonna break the sound barrier at least take your brother with you.”

“Really?”

“Yes really. And please just remember-”

“Don’t go past Ellis Avenue. We know mom.” After the twins run off and Wanda yells after them to be careful the three of you continue on your way to the town square where kids are running rampant and hay bales have been set up.

“This is so nice.” You say as you look around.

“Isn’t it?” Wanda responds and smiles over at you.

“Damn it, if Westview, New Jersey isn’t charming as hell.”

“I know that you guys must think that I’ve gone full soccer mom. But it really is nice right?” The three of you sit down on one of the hay bales in the center of town square. You smile and agree with her as Peter brings your legs over one of his and squeezes your thigh.

“I think mom and dad would’ve loved it.” You want to speak up and ask if Wanda knew about Erik but suddenly you couldn’t speak, it was like your lips were being forced closed. You started to feel that sense of being a prisoner again and as if he could sense your panic Peter squeezes your thigh again as he and Wanda talk about the kids in Westview. “I’m impressed seriously, it’s a big upgrade from giving people nightmares and shooting red wiggly woos out of your hand.” Leave it to Peter for being impressed when his family members do something people consider wrong. “I’m not some stranger, and I’m not your husband. You can talk to me, and Y/n too. She’s one of the kindest people I’ve ever met.”

“I don’t know how I did it. I only remember feeling completely alone. Empty. I just...endless nothingness.” She looks away and sniffles a bit before looking back over and gasping while covering her face.

“Are you okay?” You finally find your lips free in time to worry about Wanda and ask if she’s alright.

“I’m fine.”

“Uh huh.” Peter glances over at you as he hums not believing her.

“Mom!” The twins then rush over with Billy yelling for her over and over again.

“What is it Billy?”

“I hear dad in my head. He’s in trouble. I don’t understand. What’s happening to me?”

“I think Billy might have powers too.” You whisper to Peter as the two of you get up and walk over to the trio.

“Where is he? Where’s your dad?”

“Hey, don’t sweat it sis. It’s not like your dead husband can die twice.” Wanda’s quick to force him into the fake graveyard after he speaks.

“Oh my god!” You run over to Peter as Wanda’s attention goes back to her kids.

“God why did I say that?” Peter’s rubbing his head when you make it to him.

“Peter, Peter I think we should go.” You see Wanda getting ready to use her power again before looking back at Peter. “Now!” He grabs onto you and runs back to Wanda’s street. The hold that was in your mind is gone now and you can remember getting pulled into this city before not remembering anything. “Shit, Peter I don’t think we belong here.”

“I think you’re right baby. Let’s find a way out of here.”

Taglist: @amourtentiaa @simpforquicksilver @loveyou3000-mcu @quickparkers @buckysbeloved @elaineygrace @practicallylivesonline @stars-of-clarke @b3d0fr0s3s

#peter maximoff x reader #peter maximoff #peter maximoff imagine #x men imagine #quicksilver x reader #wandavision #plant mutation reader #request

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bjornolf-bjarki · 3 years ago

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Before/after the Battle of London. !Berserker Male Reader| Long Hellsing headcanon/fic. Part 1: Prologue

Nobody’s thought of this but I might as well try and start this. This may be triggering to some because of trauma. This is gonna be very long too, buckle in. I was largely inspired by an artist who is thinking about making a Hellsing AU with Vikings and some personal fanfic ideas of my own before that. So in this long post it will mostly talk about the Reader character but it’s a setup for the main story line for this.

Character intro and a foreword: I know that ladies will probably feel strange being put in a man’s position (I think, IDK, maybe for some). Yet I’m doing it this way because as a man myself, I’m just trying it as a first attempt and I’m not one who really can see through a woman’s perspective, yet at least. Also I’ve been really interested in writing stuff for Hellsing. So I’m flexing my wings and getting ready for takeoff because I’ve studied the characters for long enough to get a good idea as to how they operate, though writing them will be tough.

You are Y/N. He was an angry young man in his youth due to a bad home life and a terrible father. There were even had the scars to prove such a thing. Bullies would try to harm the boy constantly but with age he grew taller and became a less attractive target for most lowly bullies yet the ones not so deterred still harassed Y/N. He studies history, religion, and the occult. Y/N’s father and mother would not know this, as he felt he would be punished for upsetting his religious and violent father by learning something that they might not like. It’s tough to not tell them but it’s all for the best. It’s hard enough that his mother almost has a sort of Stockholm Syndrome way of trying to deal with him. One day you meet people on the drive back to school after forgetting something when he turned 16.

Y/N found a group of people who shared some common interests. They were a Viking/Early Medieval reenactment group that also trained with sharp weapons. Y/N met them in a camp that was like a village, with a big, longhouse built like a cabin that had a grand hall in it with Viking décor in it. There was a man in scale armor sitting on a throne at the end of the hall. It was their chieftain. The chieftain was a tad bit taller than Him and had long, grey hair with a braided beard with rune beads. His name is Thrandr Ingjaldsson. He welcomes Y/N in and talks with him about what they are. They were a community that came together to find peace to atone for their pasts, or something similar to that. He says that there are a lot of troubled youth and former convicts in this or people looking for more in life than a rat race. He offers you a place there. It looked daunting to decide on.

Y/N think about it but remember what your dad would do to either you or mom if he found out, so he tells him outright what could happen. His eyes darken for a second, as if he knows exactly what this young man is going through, “You don’t have to be official but you can come around whenever you can and escape for a while. Yet I’ll leave you with the choice.” Y/N thinks about it for a few seconds, “Yes, I’ll do that. But you’ll have to provide me some stuff and give me something else as a safety net in case my dad finds out.”. He nods, “It will be done. Welcome to our society.” Y/N shake his hand and realize how much this will change the young man and for once, he liked the idea of that. When he gets back home his father noticed that he was late, “Where’ve you been?” He asks, in a low voice, already having a tested patience as he set his King James bible down. “School, no where else.”, his son answered coldly. “You shouldn’t talk to your father that way, boy. It’s a sin to do so, and so is lying.” He unbuckles his belt and wraps it around his hand. “No lie was told, dad. Put your belt away.” Y/N say, hoping he would just drop it so you wouldn’t have to give a bloody nose and get worse in return. “You should hope that I don’t find out if you lied.” He gets up and goes to his room and slams the door shut. The boy looks at his mother, who was sitting on the couch with her hand on her arm, looking down in shame. He looked at her and quietly said, “Mom, why are you even doing this? Don’t you hate being with him?” Y/N has gotten braver over the years yet he can’t fight back quite yet but his mom is still timid. “I don’t know what you mean, Y/N. Maybe you should stop trying to fight him.” She said, almost as quiet as a church mouse. Her son sighs loudly, “I’m going to bed, wake me up when you get brave enough to divorce his ass.” His mother freezes and goes rigid, yet she says nothing, “I love you son... just know that.” Y/N stopped and almost breakdown, if only she could step up and fight back. You go to sleep, crying, hoping that this world wasn’t full of book thumping assholes and small frightened people who were unable to rise up and do the right thing.

Y/N trains for a year or two and fights in several skirmishes, battles, and being a fierce and skilled warrior, earning him the title “Berserker”. With time he gets stronger and better at fighting. In this time Y/N was still in highschool, yet things started to change and he began to fight his bullies, sometimes when he’s outnumbered 4:1 or more. The school almost suspended him but thanks to Y/N’s smart maneuvering on provoking the bullies in a way that would make Niccolo Machiavelli blush. Y/N gets off the hook and starts excelling at school. Yet, Y/N’s father notices when come home, and Y/N accidentally bring home his sparring sword, damn. His mother looks frightened and backs into a corner while shrinking down, seeing her husband’s temper flaring. “Where did you get that?!” He roars, setting down his whisky bottle and rising up, his priest outfit askew and messy, he was pissed beyond belief. Y/N was a bit scared... yet something beneath that was a fire in his belly, trying to become a wildfire but needed a bigger spark. Words suddenly pour from the boy’s mouth like a dragon’s fire, “What does it look like to you? Moses’ staff?” Y/N’s father eyes widen and zoom in, “It’s a sword... you dare bring unholy magic here, you cretin?”. Y/N’s blood is boiling and he begins to see red, “Yeah, no shit it’s a fucking sword. Why are all you Jehovah’s witnesses types so fucking scared of everything?”

His jaw goes slack his veins bulging from his neck, “What did you say to me?” Mom looks away and covers her ears. A crimson mist takes Y/N’s vision again, “You heard me you failure of a priest, I said, ‘why are you all cowards?’ but let me guess, you’re gonna hurt mom again after you hurt me right? I wouldn’t be surprised for an evil priest who can’t even stop himself from hurting his own flock.” His father screams, then grabs the neck of the bottle and charges at his own son.

!Crash

The impact was horrible, it even cut over the lower part of his forehead, missing his eye and goes down below his cheek under the eye. But rage had dulled his senses. He heard something like the times he had screamed with his comrades while charging another shield wall or getting involved in an ambush and fighting with your all. His vision had been completely overtaken by a red wall of rage. His fists connect with a target, yet he’s taken to the ground and cut again. He still hits the enraged priest above with all his might, feeling that he broke his father’s nose and knocked a few teeth out. But something else amazing happens, he hears another scream, it’s a high pitched one but it sounds... like a warrioress. Then he hears a thud, his father yelps but another sound is heard, like someone’s skull being cracked open. His vision returns to normal and he sees his mother standing over his father with the sparring sword in her hands, almost as if the handle was too big for her, her hair undone and shagged out, breathing heavily, and grunting like a bear almost. She growled in a fury, “You’ve hurt my boy for the last fucking time!” She brings it down onto her foe’s back, cracking a rib, “Lydia stop!” He begs to Y/N’s mom with a hand on the bleeding wound on his head, hoping he could drop their guard. She breaks his hand instead, ”FUCK YOU!” She screamed, then broke his other hand. Y/N looks on, almost amazed that his mother had hid this side of her from everyone. His father is screaming in pain on the floor, writhing in pain. Y/N also notices his leg was a little fucked up now too.

His mother turns to her son, concern etched on her face. “Are you ok?” She grunts. “Mom... holy fuck.” Y/N says, impressed with her sudden confidence. “I am... I just have a cut or two on me.” Y/N says, like it wasn’t a big deal. The boy also feels his left cheek, feeling two fresh cuts at the area of his jaw that rose up to his cheek. “You tried to kill my only son! I can’t wait for them to lock you up.” She said, more calmly. “Mom, move.” She looks at you, slightly flummoxed. The brave boy she’s raised steps up to his failure of a father and gets the bloodied man up on his back, “You know... there’s such a thing as eye to eye right?” His eyes widen at his son’s implication, “NO... NOOO!” He squirms but his son grabs his face and jams his thumbs into his father’s eyes, eliciting a scream from the man below him.

After the short beating and torture session his mom called the cops and... casually omitted some of the details that may have not cast her and her son in a less favorable light, also hiding the sparring sword in your closet for good measure. The cops gave the two abuse survivors hot cocoa and blankets to wrap up in after they treated Y/N’s wounds. A cop looks at you intently, “Hey kid, you look like you’ve been through hell.”

“No shit.” The cop and your mom laughed. “I’m glad it’s almost over though.”

The trial was quick and the church his father was the priest shunned his mother and Y/N. Good riddance though. Suddenly he hears cops trying to shoo people away but Y/N looks and sees something. “Let us through, we know Y/N!” It was your chieftain. “Let him through! I know him.” Y/N shouts, somewhat scaring the policemen and they let the tall chieftain in, you meet his height, eye to eye. “By the Gods, what happened to you?” He looked bewildered. Y/N sees your other friends, who all look at you in horror and concern.

“My dad.” Y/N retorts coolly. “He finally found out where I was at all these years.”

His mother, whilst being fed up with his father being so abusive and his final freak out, also decided to get a divorce soon after and Y/N lives with his mother, who actually starts to improve and learn to be less afraid and more outgoing. Also given security by the following lawsuit from the church and managing to shut it down from a lack of money that was now in Y/N’s mother and his pockets Hell she even starts to make more friends. For once, Y/N can smile without faking it and even sleeping easier. Then graduation finally comes, no more bullies to intimidate into leaving him alone and stop from harassing others, no more assignments, no grades to worry about, for now, he was free. College was far off too. Yet there was still so much to do before that.

Ambition drives Y/N forward to do something and get more involved in the group he’s in and even start exploring more possibilities. It was time for him to fully join the reenactment group and get his own equipment. Y/N’s mother and him sit down and talk about this. She’s a bit concerned that you kept this as a bit of a secret but ultimately allows you to anyways. She’s changed so much, and for the better too. The job Y/N had allowed him to save up enough money for college and on his 19th birthday, he’d grown into a giant of a man and his hair had become long and he’d even grew himself a beard. This time he celebrated his birthday with his friends and his mother finally met them in their most comfortable environment, at their camp. She finally learns why he kept it a secret. It was something Y/N’s father would’ve probably beat him or her due to the fact he was finally wrestling away his spirit from his father and she possibly would not have gone this far.

But one thing still concerned many. Rumors came from the eastern seaboard that a mysterious terror group from England during the London Conflagration and had invaded the eastern United States and even broke into Western Canada. Though it’s far away and still has yet to be seen, he dismisses it, thinking it to be a conspiracy theory or just a story to scare idiots like bed time stories people would tell their kids. Then get to the reenacting group of his friends and see that they’ve set up a surprise party... like it’s a right of passage. They lead Y/N, blind folded as well, into the grand hall of the longhouse and seat him at the head of the table and take the blind fold off. “Only chieftains sat at these,” you think to yourself, knowing what this meant. His friends come out with items and present him the items.

They help Y/N get some battle ready armor and weapons for this such as, a nasal helmet, a strong and well made chainmail hauberk that had short sleeves and reached down to your knees, a thick gambeson to go under the chainmail, then metal vambraces and greaves, and then you’re provided with a dane axe as well. Y/N intensely spars with them and soon enough they begin to induct Y/N into the group fully and reveal something awesome.

They have a few Drakkar longships ready to sail to Canada from the Columbia river that borders Washington and Oregon. Your heart almost stops when they grab something wrapped up in a bear pelt and hand it to the chieftain. Which he hands to Y/N after loudly reciting a skaldic poem. “Open it Y/N, you’ve come so far and we were all so proud that we came together and made this for you.” He said, smiling proudly.

He unraveled it and see something that almost brings a tear to your eye. It had a tunic with embroidered cuffs and skirt, a bronze arm band, and one golden oath ring with runes on it, and a statue of a strong, burly man wielding a small handled hammer that had a large hammer head and was on a chariot. But the last two weapons are what made his heart flutter. A gleaming one handed sword with its broad blade with a spatulated tip with a wide fuller and a hilt with gold inlaying that forms small crosses and a world serpent, in the middle of the pommel on one side and on the other it has what seems to be a golden depiction of a one eyed man with a long beard and two ravens on his shoulders presenting a sword and shield while standing in front of an opening double door entrance. with a wide d-shaped pommel to push his pinky into for leverage and powerful strikes. The scabbard is somewhat plain but has a long serpent etched into the leather in a Norse art style. He also find a longer Seax knife that has a broken back profile with a sharp point and runes on the spine of the blade.

Y/N had never felt so proud or had been granted such a privilege and he sees his mother, looking at him surrounded by the friends that stuck by him and smiled, trying to hold back tears, just so happy to see her son finally showing the best side of himself. Y/N motions her to come close. She does come close and embraces his wide waist and rests the side of here head against his stomach, “You’ve grown up so fast...” She sniffles, trying to hold composure. He has a hard time trying to contain himself too, “I know... we don’t have to worry about so much. We’re free now.” Y/N says, his voice almost breaking. She looks up at her son again, “We’ll talk about the trip to Canada later but let’s just be happy and celebrate right now.” The boy now turned man nodded and began partying with the others as they give him the rank of Hersir, a commander of 60-100 warriors. and present him his soldiers, many being people of similar background and You establish ways of communication like walkie talkies and phones. This was going to be in remote places in Canada after all.

Y/N’s mother somewhat has qualms about it. Yet, knowing she didn’t want you to feel held down, she lets him go and fly from her nest. Though they would see each other again.

You drive with her to the docks near Portland and look on at the large majestic, ice-capped mountain just outside of the camp, which has become a permanent settlement. As you board the slender, long vessel. His mother grabs his hand and squeezed it three times, meaning, “I love you.”. These are words that the young berserker rarely heard. Y/N hugs her, “It’ll be a short trip, mom. I promise. I’ll be back before you can miss me.” and gets on the ship, standing on the side of it and looking on to the horizon where the mountains and curve of the river banks leads to his first adventure. His mother waves him off and he does the same, seeing her slowly become smaller and smaller on the horizon as his crew rows onward, to the lands afar in Canada.

He turns to the opposite horizon and the boat leans as he stands on the edge and feels the wind in his hair and face, seeing the tall mountains that sit far towards a the sides of the river. He’s never felt so small in his life, despite being a giant. Y/N somewhat finds this to be almost frightening, considering he’s never been too far from home in his life but this time his life would be changing again. The crew look at him with a knowing expression, as if they were happy to see that their newest commander finally joined them on their journeys.

But far away in Hellsing manor, all was not good, in fact it was quite depressing.

For Seras and Pip, on the other hand, there was no good change coming for them, it seemed.

This would still be difficult with how Seras had seen her master disappear only two weeks ago. She’s rather irritable but seems to be comforted by Pip every night, reassuring her that things will get better and that Alucard will come back. It gives her hope and in a way, she still has Pip as her lover, yet there is still a small, yet deep hole in her heart. Pip feels this way too. One of the nights in the three weeks after that fateful night Integra orders the Draculina and her familiar to get ready to go to Canada for a mission that will last for a few months and kill all threats there that fled England after London had burned. Integra would even go as well. Seras then sat at the front of her desk and Pip had manifested, leaning against the wall, listening to her debriefing of what they were going to do, “There’s been reports of millennium collaborators and other covens of weaker vampires that have worked together and fled to Canada once the British military fully mobilized.” Integra took a puff of her cigar, then breathed out.

“I imagine this could be a very long mission but you’re powerful enough to fight them without too many problems. A plane will be ready for us to fly and reach Toronto by tomorrow, so pack your coffin up in the early morning. You’ll be carried to the jet by 10:00 AM sharp, so don’t wake up and open your coffin while they carry you.” Pip gave an uncomfortable look, still getting used to his new status as a familiar and hoping that he wouldn’t panic when that happened. Seras seemed to notice this and looked into his eyes, “We’ll do that and since it’s near winter it should be rather cloudy out there.” The familiar seemed somewhat comforted. “Indeed, I’d get going on that packing,” Integra stated, sounding a bit sad in, “And Seras,”

Her final trump card look at the iron maiden of Hellsing, “If you need to say anything, then let me know.”

Seras nodded, “If I need to, I will.” Pip goes back into Seras and they leave to get ready, leaving Integra to her devices once more. They all had hoped that something would break this metaphorical overcast of uncertainty.

#hellsing ultimate #hellsing #seras victoria #pip bernadotte #male reader #Setup to a bigger headcanon.#it's long #headcanon/fic #headcanon #sir integra

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tamaharu · 3 years ago

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omg tell me your mark of athena stand alone novel ideas i'm so intrigued

yaaaay well ifyou insist winky face. i first thought this up maybe 2019? when i first had my pjo hyperfixiation and it haunts me still.

first person perspective from ANNABETHS pov oooh

set several years after pjo (theyre like twenty-three? twenty-four?) with either no tie in to the prophecy of seven at the end of tlo or at the very least moa wouldnt be a part of it.

percy and annabeth are graduated from high school, percys in his third year of college while annabeths taking time away from school to finish rebuilding olympus but shes also lost some of the passion towards architecture outside of olympus in the years since and is trying to find something new to drive her (oh no! a character conflict! i wonder if she'll have to overcome it over the course of the story)

percy still lives with his mom and is (surprisingly) going into book publication/editorialization while annabeth and nico are roommates (hes either working to replace chiron as camp head or working towards becoming a pediatrician idk)

when annabeths on the subway home from time spent up in olympus she spots her mother and is approaches her like mom whats up i saw you like half an hour ago did you forget something

all athena does is look at her with strangely glassy eyes and whisper, "come find me," pressing a burning hot coin into her hand.

annabeth: wait a god damn minute ive heard about this oh no

after this riveting opening(?) we get a good look at what life has been/currently is for our favorite demigods. going into all that worldbuilding with the details i mentioned above. its like 2016/2017.

she has to grapple with her desire to move on from questing vs wanting to help her mother vs okay actually it wouldnt be so bad to go on another quest lol just kidding. unless.

queue video chats with old friends like clarisse, grover, rachel, chiron, etc. i would want them to interact. anyways it leads to annnabeth being like you know what Yeah. im gonna go on this quest!

she recruits percy and nico to help her out and they journey on a Bigger and Better quest than they ever have before. its summer, thankfully, so neither of the boys have school and it fits it with pjos whole thing of (almost) always happening during the summer

i just think it would be cool if we got some trio interactions! or demonstrations of powers that have grown! or maybe some swearing! riordan come on lets cuss a little theyre grown ups now

blah blah blah plot as they get to greece, they drop annabeth off at the river tiber and basically everything goes the same as in the moa except annabeth is a bit more confident than even teenage annabeth somehow, lol, and the whole arachne scene okay.

now you may be wondering. well, dont they need a boat to open up the parking lot to rescue annabeth? well i pose to you: percy and nico working together to literally SPLIT THE GROUND OPEN with their powers. percys the son of the earthshaker! nico once opened a pit to the underworld by accident! itd be SO COOL come on psp psp psp

they manage to rescue annabeth and the statue without having to fall into tartarus (though im debating on whether or not annabeth loses her knife/computer though there wouldnt necessarily be enough story to round it out by giving her more items to complete the loss? so)

they bring it back to camp half blood! hooray! its so cool! annabeth realizes (over the course of the story, not just at this singular moment) that shes been subconsciously pulling away from the demigod world but the whole quest has her take another look at her life and shes like Oh I know what I want to do! I want to continue working to improve my Home, as a DEMIGOD. and this spurs her into building a demigod town in chb. jazz hands. hooray.

THE END. like i said im never going to Write it but i definitely wish it could like.. manifest into reality bc id love to read it.

#gosh this is long! i dont have a lot for the middle bc i dont care enough to daydream sidequests at the moment but ive thought a lot about #both the like world of annabeth we get dumped into at the beginning and how it ends #thank you SO MUCH for letting me ramble pleading emoji heart emoji. i think hoo was like. fine for what it was i suppose?#and its harder to come up w original plots for these books but the plot points couldve been improved if only shaken up a little.#pjo #long post #ask me no questions and ill tell you no lies

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