#idk i haven't played the game myself but i've been watching a lot of videos abt it recently

[wereh0gz]

Anyways do you think sonic would like ultrakill

[arklay]

WIP DAY.

tagged by @girlbosselrond @morvaris @aartyom @risingsh0t @phillipsgraves @leviiackrman @indorilnerevarine & @denerims over the past month! sorry it's taken me so long to get to anything at all, i'm sure you guys have heard me address it enough, but thank you all so much for continuing to tag me in things while i've been inactive ♡

tagging @aelyosos @brujah @calenhads @florbelles @jendoe @lightwardens @liurnia @nokstella @nuclearstorms @shadowsofrose @shellibisshe @steelport @swordcoasts @wrymbloods @voerman & all of those who tagged me again cause i'm so behind + anyone else who'd like to share anything they're working on, not just writing! ♡

i haven't written anything since the last wip game i did, but i started trying to put diana's timeline together at the start of january, so i mean... i'll show that instead. as you can see, fatigue hasn't let me do much with it even though i've got all of her timeline already done and strewn about all over the place.

started with 1995 onwards cause it was originally going to be an ewskers timeline situation, but then wanted to include all of her backstory so i went back to the start and still have the late 80s and early 90s to get through before then, but yeah :]

it's going to include like all little moments i've thought of between the ewskers just for me and placing them on the timeline, so you can imagine how long this is going to get if i have to go to 2021 for village... like just 1996-1998 is going to be so much... she's very special to me if you couldn't tell already lmaoo

never sharing this though, it's just for me, and like will help for when i do her timeline page (more in-depth version of what's on her oc page) to just run through canon events and brief descriptions and whatnot. you understand.

everything is blurred out besides 1995 ewskers momence and the years, just cause like idk her i feel weird sharing her in-depth backstory unless it's in dms or something, just cause there's lots going on there and yeah. things. idk

i also made a carrd for twt if you wanna have a look at that :] there's some cheeky subtle things with the two resi items i used as pics hehe

actually, you know what, i'll give a lil bit from where i left of with that rewrite anyways, even though it's been months since i wrote it. but why not

Wesker left a fleeting kiss behind her ear then reached around her and hooked his fingers beneath her coat, prompting Diana to glance back at him. But all he did was gently pull it from her shoulders. She watched him from out of the corner of her eye as he hung it up on the rack by the door, his movements careful and almost calculated, until he turned back towards her, and the warmth of his body returned once more. He pressed up against her side this time, as opposed to her back, and one of his hands found a home on her waist. The way the arm it belonged to was resting firmly against her as he began leading her towards the kitchen was comforting, secure, yet unmistakably possessive. And she revelled in it. He had quite the knack for handling her just the way she wanted.

[zeondraws]

I always wonder why I have been so busy the past months but then I remember all the things I'm doing with SWTD:

(this is more of a thought post about my life/thoughts/feelings than a lore post! Ignore if you are not interested in this, I don't mind)

Taking Screenshots

Multiple recording sessions (for audio or funny moments, and so on)

Multiple playthroughs of the game

Doing an AU for some reason

Drawing the characters (much art)

Also learning how to use procreate, while my big tablet is packed away until November

Working on a video project

Learning how to use OBS

Datamining the gamefiles for more info with fmodel

troubleshooting fmodel because it's showing me the middle finger for the billionth time

learning how to use a dumper to get mappings file (to view files in fmodel)

learning how to install mods and learn how to use them

troubleshooting my pc or laptop because of my silly shenanigans

rebuilding the models in blender while simultaneously watching blender tutorials to understand what the hell I'm doing

read about TCR's other games and play them (I still have to play Little Orpheus)

Trying to research movies or any blogpost/YouTube posts regarding the game

Other types of research that I can't think of right now

Sharing results with others and discuss the findings to figure lore out

confusedscreaming.mp4

????

It has a lot of reasons why I am super determined and stubborn? when it comes to something I'm passionate about. (It's really hard to explain)

Family always dismissed my hobbies and didn't support me much for them. They often gave me false promises and made me wait for nothing

Often treating me like a baby, as if I can't think for myself. I had to fight a lot for my passions the past decade or so. Even dealing with a former coworker who was very manipulative and tried very hard to belittle me.

I can't even explain all the stress I had to endure because of my old job. Constantly monitored for mistakes, constantly shoved to a corner, freedom taken away, bullied, my feelings had been manipulated so much that I just.. had entire months where I cried every single day. And I'm not even kidding, I went to work in fear, I walked home in fear, I woke up in fear. I still remember that evening where I was so afraid of everything. I was so scared to even be in my apartment, I just balled my eyes out because it was too much at that moment.

Only thing that kept me going was my determination, hope.. daydreams. . and seeking out help (therapy, friends) and using the anger I felt for my coworker to work on my art/passions and show myself that I'm not worthless.

Sometimes my coworker would treat me badly on some days, so after I went home I used my anger and sadness to make art. Even if I sat there drawing for 5h. It did help me to improve a ton in my skills.

I think that event made me go through this journey of? self reflection and growth. It's wild how much happened after that.

Family wasn't helpful in this painful time period, one told me I'll end up alone, that I shouldn't talk to people online or that I should be happy to have a job (Talking to family is like talking to a wall). Or another family member who tries so hard to treat me like an object.

It fills me with anger, but they're all I've got. I thankfully have many friends I can go to when needed, but I wouldn't be able to fully abandon my family. It's probably because I felt so down when my mother passed away over two years ago. I haven't talked to her in years because of her mental condition, but her passing hit me badly.

I have struggled for a while to work on other skillsets because I was too afraid, doing videos, blender, drawing humans idk why, maybe no confidence in myself to try it out

.. Suddenly swtd gets released and my head does a 360 and is like "I'm going to learn all of this now, hold my bear". Using my obsession about this game to learn something new, which helped me overcome so many hurdles. Like the amount of times I threw myself out of my comfort zone while I tried to fiddle with the game.

Like, look at the difference in my human art

This is the first time I drew Muir like.. I forgot when I drew this, two months ago?

And then like this is from a few days ago

... *compares* I don't know how to explain the difference, I think there is one-

Like,. It's hard to compliment myself because of the sheer amount of stress I endured over the year. I've been out of the old job for 3 weeks now. I'm so glad I'm out of there.

I remember how I always wanted to draw an entire dragon, not just a bust. And look I ended up drawing one!! Ok with Roper's head but yea!

I think family difficulties and other events made me feel very detached from others. I never felt/feel like I belong anywhere. I moved so often that this feeling persisted. And it may persist for who knows how long. I only recently got a diagnosis, I have a form of depression, but it's somewhat mild. Hence why I'm still able to perform in daily tasks and work. Tho I don't want to use my condition as an excuse, I rather just want to show that I'm capable of something. That even people who struggle mentally can find success in what they do.

Life throws so many hurdles but I think I am slowly used to living in the chaotic environment. I keep drawing and work on my hobbies while I wait to move apartments.

I try very hard to change my mindset even tho my mind had been so used to the negative spirals. But I try to stay determined and keep on learning. I am not all knowing and I need to remember that mistakes are ok and that I need them to keep learning and have progress.

I've been pushing aside so many thoughts while I messed with the game. Even tho it's 2AM I needed a quiet moment to think about it all.

I am very open with my thoughts and feelings, it's what I usually do on my Instagram account when I post my art.

Tomorrow is another day to learn something new.

[leastdatablebracket]

ROUND 1, MATCH 64

Propaganda under the cut!

Lucio Morgasson

He's the villain in everyone else's route, and even in his own he's STILL kind of a dick. Like, everything bad he did before the game begins happens exactly the same, and it's only when he begins that he gets better (as in he regrets his actions and tries to fix it (it being a plague. He caused a plague because he wanted more power. (Spoilers: the plague killed the MC))). All the other romanceable characters still hate him tho so that's good. The one thing he's got going for him is that in one ending, he stepped down from being the count (idk about the other)

He literally caused a plague that kills thousands of people including THE PLAYER 😭 LIKE HE LITERALLY KILLS YOU DAWG

He is simply the worst. I'm pretty sure he purposefully infected his kingdom with the plague. He made a deal with the devil maybe. Gonna be real with you I haven't finished his storyline.

imagine a guy who is both incredibly pathetic and willing to screw over absolutely everyone for fun. lots of fun as a character, absolute dogwater as a partner

He has directly tortured or somehow harmed all the other romancable characters and every other route tries to kill the mc to take over their body, is also responsible for a plague that killed a large portion of his kingdom and *spoiler* killed the MC

I'll admit I haven't played his route but that's cause he's such a pathetic icky man that I don't think I actually can. And I pride myself in completing every route. I know people like their pathetic meow meows but I want to hit him with a brick

He acts as a manchild who needs someone to guide him through life and show him the difference between right and wrong when I'm pretty sure he's in his forties or fifties. He also abuses his power to do horrible things to people he's not in a romantic relationship with, which should tell you a lot about him.

He’s a selfish asshole who is the villain in every other route and he’s a punk ass bitch I wanna kick his ass so hard his skeleton disintegrates as he fucking deserves 

Dude, he SUCKS. He's the villain in every other route. He's a horrible husband, he forced Muriel to fight for his entertainment, he makes deals that he can't pay for. He threatens and pouts and is obsessed with people loving him. I've been with the Arcana since the very beginning and he wasn't meant to be a romance option, but the writers basically went with it because there was such a demand. So embarrassing to see Lucio fans being like Lucio did nothing wrong ever. Falling all over themselves to blame his mom or Nadia or Asra or anyone else for Lucio's selfishness and shitty behavior. It was peak uwu he's A BABY fan dementia that excuses all his shitty actions because nothing was his fault. The only sane Lucio fans are the ones that are like "he sucks so much <3 I can make him worse."

He's literally described by the devs as flaming trash. He is literally only nice in his route and the main antagonist (or at the very least a jerk) in every other route. he was a very bad husband to ex-wife. he is literally - and with 0 exaggeration- a plague upon the country he ruled. he's also a grown man who calls his fuck ups "oopsies" and honestly, i love him but that gives me the ick.

Cullen Rutherford

stupid racist cop creep whose fans cry about how hes "changed" and "you can't judge him he was addicted to magic drugs" nah he still chose to be a racist cop and abuse his power over innocent people and i hate him. the writers making him romanceable in da:i after how blatantly horrible he was in da:o and da:2 is baffling but i guess they had to appeal to the part of their audience who watch those "mafia boyfriend" videos on tiktok or whatever

He's creepy in origins, though still 100% willing to kill the female mage pc he's crushing on, as well as all the other mages trapped in the circle with him. He's the second-in-command in an even worse circle in 2, listening to and defending the increasingly obviously insane meredith until literally the end. He's one of the people still pushing for the circle system by inquisition, and yes he's going through withdrawals and working through the traumas of previous games. And to be brutally honest his was the first romance i took and while i don't remember much from it, its not worth all the girls going absolutely nuts over knockoff terrible alistair.

He's basically a cop who thinks being born a certain way can revoke personhood and by Inquisition still thinks mages are monsters to be controlled, not people. He gets a fairy tale cutesy romance that focuses on his personal struggles with addiction while showing absolutely no regard to the atrocities he committed and still thinks were justified. He can be romanced BY A MAGE and his actions and beliefs are just glossed over. He believes mages are 'not people like you (Hawke) and me', but if the Warden was a female mage he canonically had a crush on her and would deliberately hang around her despite the fact that he was her *jailer*. If that Warden romanced Leliana, there is war table dialogue in which he pesters Leliana for news of his 'former' crush despite her repeated statement that she doesn't want to talk to him about her. All this shitty behavior and lack of introspection gets swept under the rug by the game, not even giving the PC the chance to really challenge his beliefs. Like damn even Fenris could apologize when he lashed out due to past trauma with mages, and if anyone has a reason to hate mages it's Fenris. If you want an ex Templar hottie Alistair is RIGHT THERE. Tbh I know Cullen is a popular romance and I'm not here to tell anyone what they can or can't do or like in a video game, I'm just saying I think he is deeply undateable

Spends the first two games as an antagonist, fervently devoted to the cause of subjugating mages, then a bunch of "character development" happens off screen and the games treat him like he's completely reformed. However he's actions make it clear he still sees mages as dangerous and lesser. Not to mention if you romance him with an elf he doesn't pay your culture more than lip service respect like most of the devout characters 

He was a total villain in the first two games who was violently prejudiced against mages and uses one single bad experience as an excuse for it (a bad experience that is pretty much exactly what he in his job subjected graduating apprentices to, mind you, but this is never brought up). Now he says he's changed, but his words and actions say otherwise. He still distrusts mages, sympathises with the rebel Templars trying to kill them, and he never owns up to the terrible stuff he did and helped others do in the past two games. He totally knew what Meredith was doing and says he doesn't, and he still tries to defend her intentions. And you have no option to call him out on it. If you romance him as a mage, he angsts about how he might have seen you as subhuman in the past but NOW you're one of the good ones, and when you ask him if he'll kill you if you get possessed, he dodges the question. And the PC is written as being almost sad that she's a mage? Like 'can you love me despite what I am??' Also if Leliana romanced a female mage PC in the first game who is still alive, he asks her creepy questions about their relationship. Fitting considering his original purpose was to be creepy to the female mage Warden. 

I hate him and want to cause chaos. Plus his VA is an asshole.

cop

[cryiling]

D, N, and W from this, please!

(ask game from here)

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.

aughhh okay tbh kiribaku 😭 i feel SO bad, esp because i had a lot of fandom friends who rlly liked that ship. the worst part abt it is i totally understand why people ship it!!! and i really could see myself shipping it too!! but idk, i think i'm just SO insane about bkdk that i literally can't bring myself to ship anyone else with either of them. like it makes me actually feel sick. which is rlly embarrassing LOL but yeah that's my notp 😖

N - Name three things you wish you saw more of in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

okay let's talk abt the loz fandom 🤭 number one I NEED MORE REVALINK CREATORS 😫 why did i join the hype train 7 years late 😖😖😖 if only i had been insane abt them when botw first came out,,,,

number two: more zines and fan events!!! i feel like there's very few zines, and the ones that are ongoing are for games that i haven't played </3 and there's virtually no other fan events for zelda going on, come on neoww let's do stuff!!

number three: more totk review videos on youtube 🤞 i looooove watching those 3 hour long video essays on the good and bad parts of totk, they're so entertaining and it's so validating to see other people put into words exactly how i feel abt totk. i've probably seen all the ones on youtube atp so i need more!! yes the game is a year old but let's keep talking about it!!!

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

oooh that's a tough one! tbh i'm pretty much always one good fic away from liking any given trope. maybe a/b/o hybrid aus? a/b/o is not my favorite at all but i can usually tolerate it, but i generally tend to avoid fics where they're actually hybrids etc

thank youuu for the ask iri!! <3

[pomp-adourable]

So how have I been.

I'm doing okay. I'm having a lot of health issues tho. Specifically, I have an incisional hernia. (Read: I got my gallbladder removed 10 years ago, and the incision that they made in my bellybutton, that they pulled my gallbladder out through, has torn open, and now there's a hernia there. Fun stuff.) My surgeon recommended I lose about 40 lbs before I have the surgery tho, to give myself the best chance of a successful repair. Which is fun because I've been trying to lose weight idk my entire life???

So I've been meeting with a therapist and a nutritionist for BED for about 6 months now, which has been very helpful and I'm now in recovery from that. But it didn't lead to any significant weightloss lol so now I'm on Zepbound. I've been on the lowest dose for 2 months and I'm about to start the next dose up this Friday.

Other than ALL THAT, things have been good. My family is doing well. My mom has her own health problems but she's finally taking some initiative on that. My brother got divorced but he has a house now, and a good co-parenting relationship with his ex. And my nephew is about to turn 11 and he's such a smart and awesome kid :') Hasana-chan is still my bestie and we're doing good as well uwu♦️

I haven't had much room in my head for fandoms. I haven't written a word for Dream Sequence in years, though it's always on my mind and I still hope to one day finish that beast. I'll never give up on it. Welcome Home is a newer obsession of mine, I really like it and can't wait to see where it goes. I've taken up watercolor painting as a hobby, though I don't indulge as often as I would like, just because every day feels like survival mode, where I just waste my time watching YouTube videos and playing mobile games. I really need to break that habit. Maybe getting back here will help that 💕

[bastardtrait]

huge get to know me post

hi friendsies. I feel like sharing today. some of these are from a really long time ago because I've been hoarding them like the sewer-dwelling critter I am. thank you to everyone who tagged! if you also feel like sharing today then please by all means, use this post as an excuse.

last and current things tag! for this one I was tagged by @moonfromearth @newvegastrait and @airbussy-a330.

last song: water colour by Wheein

last show: I watched an episode of From with my brother & SIL which was pretty intriguing

currently watching: I do not...watch shows...I can't stick to shows if it'd save my life tbh

currently reading: Love Hate & Clickbait by Liz Bowery. it's fine so far. a solid 3/5 read. could I recommend it? if you're bored maybe.

current obsession: God of War Ragnarök. in fact I'm so obsessed I'm hellbent on 100%ing this game and I might even go back for NG+. please send help.

15 questions for 15 mutuals! for this one I was tagged by @autonomousllama and @thelastairsimblr.

Are you named after anyone? Yes, I've got my parents' names in my full legal name.

When was the last time you cried? you're gonna make me say it huh. fine. I cried during the middle part of God of War Ragnarök omg bye

Do you have kids? No...but it'd be nice someday...

Do you use sarcasm a lot? I don't know if I'm sarcastic. not really my form of humour. but I could be wrong.

What sorts of sports do you/have you played? I like swimming and diving, and football/soccer.

What's the first thing you notice about other people? okay this is gonna sound completely fucking unhinged so bear with me but...smell. like yeah that's a really normal answer right. but it's true. don't sue me.

Eye colour: brown

Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings because I watched the ever-loving shit out of horror movies between 11-21 and now I don't care about them anymore.

Any special talents? I hate this question goodbye

Where were you born? the Philippines

What are your hobbies? cooking, video games, making and playing music, tabletop rpg's, painting. normal tweecore shit I guess.

Do you have any pets? yes, one overgrown rat the shelter tried to pass off as a dog but I know better. and I love him dearly.

How tall are you? driver's license says 173 cm which is around 5'8".

Favourite subject in school? god idk I haven't been in school in years. I guess history? maybe?

Dream job? I do not dream of having a job.

shuffle your playlist tag! I was tagged by @beebeesiims a while ago. in which I must shuffle my on repeat playlist and share the first 10 tracks GOD HERE WE GO...

Set Me Free - Twice

夜に駆ける Racing into the night - YOASOBI

きらり Flash - Fujii Kaze

真夜中のドア/Stay With Me - Matsubara Miki

Umaasa - Skusta Klee

Burning Friday Night - Lucky Kilimanjaro

Supernova - Ellegarden

Gunshot - KARD

Perfect World - Twice

Wonderland - iri

get to know the blogger tag! I was tagged by @lynxsimago aaages ago. some of these questions are the same as the ones above so those, I will skip.

show your wallpaper:

yes I use windoze 7. sorry my slay is so gigantic.

last movie: Mambo Italiano from 2003. one of those so bad it's good movies.

craving: some ice cold aiyu jelly on bright, blistering summer day!

what are you wearing right now? shorts...and a bandage on my torso bc I burned myself last night lol

piercings? earlobes and left nostril. I want an eyebrow one too though.

tattoos? a bow and arrow design on my right forearm and the word "انتظار" on my left wrist.

glasses/contacts? I wear glasses

last thing I ate: a panino I made. it slapped.

favourite colour? yellow!

favourite fictional character? Samwise Gamgee probably.

last place I travelled: if driving an hour+ away from home counts, then it was to Brockville. if it should be longer than that, then it'd be Vancouver.

[3gremlins]

i foolishly started another playthrough of bg3 in the early access even tho the game comes out for realskies in like a week or so and i'll have get to make more characters/new pts anyway.

trying to make myself not be a pretty wood elf/half elf druid so rolled drow paladin (i'm def going to play a druid first once it's out for real tho b/c talk to animals is my favorite larian studios skill and i'm so sad without it. i just want to talk to all the animals and also wild shape!) and it's actually been pretty fun to just be tanky and whack things.

npcs are super rude to drow tho, it's real da elf and skyrim khajit/dunmer flashback hours (i don't love it? the fantasy race racism stand-in in rpg games always feels not terribly thoughtful? i realize it's b/c the source material has it but still idk there's got to be a better way and wotc/dnd is historically still not great at it)

i keep attempting to play a different type of character (i usually start to swing chaotic good no matter where i start lol), but it's difficult and also it's real hard not to flirt with astarion even if he disapproves of my kinda do-gooder paladin atm lol (i think b/c a character disproves sometimes my contrary nature takes the better of me b/c i'm like oh no but i want *them* to like me even tho everyone else approves or maybe b/c everyone else approves XD i've already romanced him & shadowheart tho, gotta try someone else's arc or proto arc as it were lol. BUT FLIRT WITH HOT KINDA STANDOFFISH ELF!!! i am weak T.T)

still wish you could set up the "what do you desire" character to be genderfluid and appear as both masc/femme forms. like my characters are all bi/pan! they're attracted to lots of people- idk if they've said anything about this? i haven't been watching *too* many dev videos b/c i don't want to spoil myself too much but i did some searching to see if it was mentioned anywhere yet and couldn't find anything (i did see that they'll have more body types for your tav at least in the final which is another small thing i dislike about the early access cc- even tho you can pick non binary as an id, you're still stuck w/ very binary body choices)

[three--rings]

God, so okay, so, I want to say. . .

Pretty Follies is still out there as my hanging OFMD WIP. I never intended to abandon it, I just got two consecutive cases of major Ship Brain with new ships and then couldn't really get back into the mood.

Part of me told myself I would finish it before S2 aired. I remember when I updated it in January I thought: well S2 might air in March/April so I have time to finish this....and then nothing, and I thought well, good I have more time to finish this.

And now okay I have a Deadline.

But...for a while I felt like I couldn't write at all. And then I got obsessed by Shuake and couldn't stop writing for them, and wrote some stuff that got some VERY VERY nice comments that helped my writer self esteem. So I also have THAT wip hanging over my head

Because then I was in the fucking CAR ACCIDENT. And since then I've felt like I have not only negative writing ability, but I haven't even READ anything.

(A lot of stream of conscious babbling under here about IDK where I'm at RN...)

Like honestly, not even a joke, it's been three weeks and I haven't read a single fic. And like at first, sure, it was terrible pain and heavy medication and then it was less pain but still medicated and now it's not that much pain at all and mostly my normal level of medicated (cause not to forget I'm a chronic pain patient none of this is new to me.)

But I've felt so utterly braindead. All I've been able to do is watch Youtube and play very brainless video games. (And also partly watch and partly co-play Red Dead Redemption 2 with my husband which has been a DELIGHT. I've played it before but he hasn't so I'm getting to enjoy his first time reactions. It's a let's play from next to me, and then when it's too hard he hands me the controller to kill everyone.)

And I've basically been living waiting for TOMORROW which is when Starfield will go live (for me) because I've been anticipating this game for so freaking long. And my plan was basically to spend the next couple months doing nothing but play it.

But now...I'm like, also in a month there's OFMD. And I should try to write. And I don't know if I KNOW HOW.

IDK my writing mojo has always been a thing that is mysterious and does not respond well to forcing. Like, when it's gone I have to just do other things and it will come back, but damn it's bad for finishing things. And I don't even really remember what I was doing with Pretty Follies except that EVERY PART OF MY BRAIN IS ON FIRE with that bride wedding topper. That's, like, part of that fic's verse. I don't care. It's in there. It's what I'm talking about with Ed in that fic. IT's YES.

BLAH IDK IDK I should reread my own fic I guess. But also my brain doesn't want to.

It's weird how suffering is like...BAD for energy and artistic motivation. And I'm mostly just now coming out of the suffering and I've stopped sleeping 12+ hours every day, but like, also I have weeks and weeks of recovery still. So...IDK

I'm allowed to be lazy RN. IDK. It's ... annoying.

[kairithemang0]

tell me your thoughts on something (anything) (talk for as long or as short as you want)

:)

ok i've been looking for a reason to talk about this for a while and im just gonna go off the rails here

i recently started watching Colin LooksBack's disney villain retrospectives and I'm so damn obsessed with them. I've mentioned this before, I'm a disney fan through and through. No matter how much I painfully despise so many of their recent movies, nostalgia and the hope of finding something as good as their classics keeps me coming back, as disappointed as I am with their recent features from all sides of the company

I'm especially a disney history fan, I love learning about the first few decades of this company for some reason, their movies from that time aren't even my favorites but just all the old concept art and ideas from the imagineers is so cool to me. Mary Blair's work specifically, her art for Cinderella is stunning.

Disney villains specifically have just always been amazing to me. I was obsessed with Ursula as a kid, I thought she was the coolest freaking character. I love her design, her voice is amazing, I adored her then and I still do.

If we're talking about disney content creators though? Avelo (formerly known as Dreamsounds) has my heart and soul. Her videos are everything to me, they got me through covid. I was so sad when she left when she was getting her bottom surgery, worried she'd never return. I audibly gasped when I saw her return video show up on my recommended because I love her videos that much, and still do, even if it's not as disney focused.

I dunno, I think my disney obsession and Kingdom Hearts obsession go hand in hand (hah, that's a kingdom hearts song). I mean KH and disney are tied together by nature, but I got into KH for the disney. I found my moms old kh1 copy a while ago and I wished I could have the chance to play it on the ps2 (which we sadly don't have anymore). I haven't ever finished kh1, the controls are too clunky and I hate that stupid fucking camera. Even still, it's a game that matters to me a lot. KH2 does more for me in the end though, I reset the game so often just to play through Roxas's section in twilight town. it's nostalgic, not even just for playing kh but it's the type of fun me and my friends would have during our summer vacation. seeing roxas's life fall apart is scary because in some way i relate, the friendship he had with hayner, pence, and olette in the data twilight town wasnt real, and neither were my friendships with those people.

back to more regular disney, i fucking love the disney parks. honestly im so nostalgic for fastpass, i miss needing to go up to those little stands and put it on some card. i hate genie+ and lightning lane because it feels much less personal, so do the disney parks in general for me now. maybe it's because i'm getting older, i wouldnt be surprised if that was the case. even still, i love going. i mean cinderellas castle is my damn wallpaper (godddd i love that wallpaper so much....) and there are multiple of these "disney parks music" videos that i will actively use to fall asleep because idk nostalgia is a bitch. the boardwalk one is a personal favorite of mine, something about it just hits for me. me and my family went right after covid started to slow down, the boardwalk was having a soft opening and we got in for cheap. we got this amazing room overlooking the boardwalk itself, and for lack of a better word the vibes were incredible. like... WOW. we drove down, it sucked because it was exhausting and i cant be in small spaces like that for too long, but in the end it could've been worse. i had given myself this challenge to watch all the disney movies before going, i finished encanto on that drive. it's what got me back into so many of them, treasure planet specifically. it feels like every year ill just find myself obsessing over one specific disney movie around this time, last year it was tp and the tinkerbell movies. this year id say it's alice in wonderland, which ive had an obsession with for years. it's just a plotless fun movie with memorable characters that mean something to me. i dunno, im a sucker for anything nostalgic, twisted is my favorite starkid show for a reason, and i don't just love kh for it's crazy plot and characters (although that's most of it)

sorry this is REALLYYY long.....

[itstimetodrew]

A tag meme! Haven't done this in a long time :o

15 questions

Tagged by @gaycey-sketchit :3

1. Are you named after anyone?

Nope! My parents couldn't really agree on a name and then one day just went "How about Natalie?" "...hm yeah okay". I narrowly avoided being 1 of millions of Emilys.

2. When was the last time you cried?

I cried pretty bad when I saw All of Us Strangers a couple weeks ago. Would recommend lol

3. Do you have kids?

Drew.......is my child.....

But no and I don't really plan on it. I do think I'd make a good mom tbh but I'm not gonna just run out and adopt a kid and be a single mom. MY mom could raise me herself but that wasn't a choice, and certainly not one I'd choose for myself either 😭

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

DDR is the closest thing I have lol I'm getting back into it this year! Finally busting in my metal pads and revisiting my many many games :)

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Very much, yes

6. What is the first thing you notice about people?

Voice maybe? I've never really thought about it 🤔

7. What's your eye color?

Gray!

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

I guess happy endings? I mostly avoid horror as a genre because movies scare me easily even if it's dumb 😭

9. Any talents?

I guess just a general sense of creativity. I've always liked to draw since I was a kid, then the video editing came as a teenager lol

10. Where were you born?

Ohio, and they don't let me out except on certain occasions

11. What are your hobbies?

It seems like my hobbies come and go in waves. Art has been on the back burner for a while, I've been editing a bit more lately. Movies became a big one, I watched over 150 movies last year. 👀

12. Do you have any pets?

TOMO!!! He is 10, got him from a humane society when he was 4. I love him very much. 🥰

13. How tall are you?

5'7"! well......nearly.

169cm for the metric crowd

14. Favorite subject in school?

I loved chemistry in high school but a lot of that probably came from having a crush on the teacher lol. NOT a biology fan. English and math classes were also good (but not geometry yuck)

15. Dream job?

Idk if I have one? I'm happy with what I'm doing now! My goal is to just keep a job that feels good and then focus all those dream goals for when I'm not at work. I want to travel and eat well and spend time with people!

Tagging @ellcrys @red-dyed-sarumane @thebearemoji @ikari-cat but it's optional lol and feel free to sub any question your heart desires

[autisticempathydaemon]

Alright, let's do this, i guess

My ennagram is propably either 6w5 or 5w6 i'm not quit sure

I do watch a lot of video essays, too many to name any favorites, most of them about fiction/media analysis, a few channel examples being: cj the x, ragnarrox, lindsay ellis, ladyknightthebrave (though i've admittedly only seen her the haunting of hill house/bly manor videos), what's so great about that & hbomberguy (fuck tommy tallarico)

My favorite audio rn is probably "Your Chaotic Roommate Confesses His Feelings For You", for multiple reasons i probably can't get into in a post like this

In terms of who hold no appeal for me, mostly david but also vincent, he's just too idk clasically romantic for my tastes

Speaking of which, i'm generally not the most traditionally romantic person which sometimes makes me worried that i'm not affectionate enough/in the right way for people

I generally love horror and/or fantasy and/or mystery media of all types.

I used to watch a lot of rpg maker horror game lets plays during a generally rough time in my life (though i've still never played one of them myself) mostly the channel manlybadasshero and the german channel nesfatelp.

The professor layton series of puzzle/mystery games are a cornerstone of my child & and early teenagehood, the two with the spookiest athmospheres (the diabolical/pandoras box and spectres call) probably being my favorites if i had to choose. I also recently (finally) started getting into the ace attorny series.

In terms of platonic attraction: just the entire damn squad, including gavin.

I don't really have any guilty pleasure favorites i think, but for some reason i had this weird cheap dvd which was a fairy tale themed collection of german knock studio cartoon films as a kid. There where a few by this studio called dingo pictures (as i would later find out, here's the german wikipedia page since there isn't an english one: https://de.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dingo_Pictures) on there including an alladin knock of (here's a clip of it: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2u4h5STlXUc&pp=ygUVYWxhZGluIGRpbmdvIHBpY3R1cmVz)

It seems to be the same german animation team/studio as that film where the yeee dinosaur meme/clip comes from (this one:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=q6EoRBvdVPQ&pp=ygUMeWVlIGRpbm9zYXVy)

Though the dino movie wasn't on the dvd, probably since it isn't fairytale themed, so i never saw that one as a kid.

And there also was a bambi knock of by dingo pictures called goldie that i even had as a seperate dvd of as well for some reason (here's a clip: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=b_WNza6_Z2c&pp=ygUMR29sZGllIGJhbWJp) there also where films clearly made by other small studios on that dvd as well, it really was a weird mix.

And although i could even as a kid tell that these films were objectivly "bad" i still found some strange enjoyment and fascination in them at the time and looking up these clips gave me immense nostalgia, i even have to say i enjoyed goldie more than disney's bambi, simply because it was more intersting in it's strangeness while i found bambi always boring.

Well, there you go, hope that's enough/helpful

Addendum: As a kid i used to always just say my hobbies are reading and drawing/painting and while i still like these activities (and i still read a book every once in a while) it started to feel kind of dishonest since i haven't actually been doing these things as much anymore (especially drawing/painting, i really need to get back into that) so last year i started to get into new hobbies i had interested in trying for a while, like learning to play guitar as well as starting to do archery and now also wanting to get into general martial arts (i mean, i gotta get buff arms somehow, right)

Ooh, I like you. Type 5w6, the Troubleshooters, are such an interesting type, and you have fantastic taste in movies, interests, video essays, and games. You know who else would like you? Guy~!

The enneagram types you align with, plus the video essays and games you like, give me the vibe of someone really thoughtful and in their head, like Honey, and we all know what a fuckin great match they are with Guy. This also works because Honey doesn’t strike me as traditionally romantic or saccharine sappy either.

I’m imagining a really loving, lowkey in its intimacy kind of relationship, the kind that’s built on a companionable compatibility you two have. It’s lots of chill nights watching horror movies that he talks through non-stop, mystery movies where he always guesses the killer. Its trying new hobbies, sports, and classes together and getting adorably, lovingly competitive. It’s Guy being very cute but entirely unhelpful with the Professor Layton puzzles.

Song:

It's funny 'cause you drive me half insane/ A universe without you would be thoroughly mundane/ There's no one else I'd rather fall in love with/ And that is my best friend in the world

Yeah, I’ve just designated you Honey-kinnie, friends/roommates to lovers vibes, I hope you��re okay with that /lh Guy’s just the perfect guy (ha) for sneaking himself into your heart, you know? He’s there and silly and incorrigible and inexplicably charming, and then you can’t imagine home with him.

Runner-Ups:

Asher is a really cute choice for runner-up because he strikes me as a scaredy-cat who pretends to be tough, and I love to pair wimps with horror buffs. Ollie is also a good option because I think you, he, and Guy would like all the same things. That would be a really cute fucking friend group actually.

note: you have, again, excellent taste in video essays I highly recommend ladyknighttothebrave’s video about Sense8 it’s my favorite one about one of my favorite shows 💕 you’re also totally fine for sending in two asks, all input is helpful and valuable 💚

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[colorisbyshe]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

Thank you for asking!!!!! Love a chance to talk about myself.

The way I got this ask and like IMMEDIATELY forgot any piece of media I have ever consumed?? If I forgot any of my faves... sorry to them!!

Also, a running theme for most of my faves is that they have overcome being otherized and/or trauma and came out being pettier and more self righteous, lol.

Uchiha Sasuke from Naruto. Pettiest bitch alive and he DESERVES IT! Should be pettier.

Wei Wuxian from MDZS/The Untamed. Went through hell, kinda literally, and did awful things but still chose to do the right thing, every single fucking time.

Fenris from Dragon Age. Watching him emerge from such an awful place and learn to let people in, while remaining sooo rough around the edges, was lovely.

Spock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! From both TOS and AOS, less so from Disco/SNW, because he's just so fucking funny and also watching him be so repressed and then be forced out of that repression is fun. I love him. Baby boy.

Joy from EEAAO. Loved watching her anger, loved watching her creativity, and I loved watching her anger make her mother change. I love that she was able to give up the anger because she was finally seen and her hurt was legitimized.

***** ****** from ******* ******** because *runs away*

NGL.... it's still my boy Edward Elric. In many ways, I should let him go. But he was my first rep of atheism in literally the funniest fucking way ("Yeah I've seen God but... nah.") and I still enjoyed his journey, even if I now have major issues with the narrative and apologism and recognize Scar as a far more compelling character than Edward. Sorry to everyone but when I saw Edward at age.... 13, I did not realize what war crime apologism looked like. At least I let go of stanning Mustang. Cause I wanted that man carnally for a long time.

Sook-hee from The Handmaiden. Watching her fuck shit up was cathartic.

I need to finish my watch through (bingewatching two seasons in a week was mentally taxing, tbh) but Flint and Max from Black Sails. Again... love a selfish character who has felt left behind by the world and so they take what they can from the world. They deserve it!

Recency bias I guess but I'm REALLY loving Frieren from... Frieren. Watching her learn to value other people while going around with her lil :3 face is nice.

I feel like this list is leaving a lot of faves out--my lovely Sailor Jupiter who I imprinted on like a baby duck and have carried in my heart ever since, Dimitri Fire Emblem, Qifrey, and probably so many more. The characters that I love just for horny reasons (Yae Miko, Kaveh, Tighnari my beloveds). Characters I love for their potential (Finn, Poe, and Rey from Star Wars)(Also Cassian but I guess I could love him more if I watched Andor but I will not be watching Disney+ shows.) Characters who I love now (Louis, Lestat, Claudia from IWTV the show) but haven't finished their arcs yet, so idk how I'll feel int he future. Etc etc.

I will also say that this list feels a biiiiiit swayed by characters who I have experienced more in fandom. There are characters from one off books, video games, comics that I CONNECT with more, maybe idolized more, but engage with less often because there's no fandom, so they come to mind less immediately. And they've been butchered less by fanon, so I don't project onto them as much. Like they are FULLER vessels, which means they have less room for me to go "Oh, yeah, we are exactly the same. Let me into your brain."

This list is mainly of characters I love to play with like bratz dolls in my brain and is less about like... maybe heavily fucking with them while consuming their media and then being able to let them go when I'm done.

[cookinguptales]

I don't know if I fully believe in the concept of NYRs but... idk, I do have some things I've been working on for myself, and I guess it's fair enough to call them NYRs. These issues are a work in progress, and I am a process. lmao

[cut for length and so you don't have to scroll through my personal issues if you don't want to!]

My first two NYRs are ones that I've had on my list for many years. You'd think that means that I'm very bad at them, so I have to keep adding them to my to-do list. But actually, I've had a lot of success with them both, which is why I keep them both on there every year as a reminder.

1. Every time I complain about a bad thing, try to find, create, or promote a similar good thing.

This is the one I've had for the longest. Some times I'm better at this than others, but I always find myself renewing my commitment to the idea this time of year. I've struggled with depression for most of my life and I think at heart I'm probably a pessimist. It's very easy for me to get bogged down in negative things, especially when things have been so objectively shitty for everyone the past few years. In my teenage years especially, I had trouble moving at all without tripping over something that made me angry. And anger can be good! Anger can motivate you to demand better. But better things do exist in this world, and the past few years I have tried to funnel my anger into amplifying those things.

So, y'know, every time I complain about a movie I think sucked, I try to recommend a movie I think was pretty good. When I get frustrated at a narrative choice in a piece of media, I try to think about a choice that I think worked better. When I hear about some fresh new atrocity in the news, I try to find at least one good thing that's happening, too, even if that's just in response to that bad thing. (I find that finding charities to support helps me a lot there.) When I feel like there are ugly things everywhere I look, I try to make something beautiful.

I think I often get frustrated with bad things because I feel that things should be better. So the best way to assuage these feelings isn't to just get angry with the bad things. It's to find those better things -- or make them myself.

2. Consume at least one new piece of media every week.

This can be a movie, a book, a tv show, a video game, anything so long as I haven't consumed any of it before. I've tried those movie-a-week things or book-a-week and it's not a bad idea, but I tend to get a little bogged down. I think I've realized over the years that what I really need is a sense of freshness to keep me going. Otherwise I'll just watch WWDITS and play Stardew Valley 1000 times and stagnate a bit. Stagnation is a real problem for me, so I do a lot to try to combat that. I've definitely discovered that a constant stream of fresh new things helps with that, no matter the medium. I try to keep this river flowing, so to speak. And trying new things is fun!

Now onto a couple things that I'd like to work on in the coming year specifically...

3. Use my resources to make myself happy.

I'll preface both of these upcoming sections with the fact that uh. I was raised kind of weird fundie evangelical, and I have found that unlearning some of that shit takes a lifetime. When you're raised to internalize that joy is sinful if it's not in service to God (...we were neocharismatic, so dancing was okay in a charismatic situation) then it's kind of hard to do things just because you enjoy them, especially if they are "wasteful" in any way.

Like I can justify a hobby that is building me in some way, like an academic pursuit or learning a new skill. I spend... a lot of my free time trying to better myself, which is something that probably requires some self-reflection. lmao. I can also justify hobbies that benefit others, like writing someone a story or doing something for a charitable cause. I can even justify a hobby that might make money. But doing things specifically for me just because I enjoy them and they make me happy... that's harder, especially if they use up resources.

Like... I discovered in high school that I liked working with wax. We did batik in one of my art classes and I loved it. I still haven't gotten myself batik materials (I keep thinking "but what would I do with the cloth?") but I have started to dip my toes back into making wax melts. It's cliche, I know, but it's fun. I really enjoy it. I love making new smells and new appearances and getting really creative with it. It makes me feel like a mad scientist, a little bit. But... I mean, it's not a cheap hobby. And it takes up a lot of my actual physical energy -- which, as someone with a lot of chronic illnesses, really is in short supply. So I've felt oddly guilty about it, especially because I know I should be saving more diligently for my accessible bathroom. Like, obviously being able to shower safely is more important than being able to play with wax molds...? But... you have to have joy in your life, too... And that's not a sin.

(Sin is bullshit anyway! But still.)

I've been kind of offsetting the guilt I feel by giving wax melts to others and by kind of making vague-ass plans to maybe sell my excess one day, but like. I need to reframe the way I'm thinking about this endeavor. It's nice if my hobby can bring benefits to those around me (and make back the price of materials maybe) but it doesn't have to. It's enough if creating a weird little laboratory in my basement makes me happy.

The same goes for some other things, too... If I want to spend fifty dollars on materials for cross-stitch, that's okay! If I want to buy myself a ticket to a concert that I'll look forward to all month, that's okay! If I want to take the train up to NYC to see an exhibit and hang out with a friend, that's okay! There's value in joy, even if it's mine! Especially if it's mine!

I want to spend 2023 experimenting with new hobbies and new experiences and new treats for myself. I'd say I deserve them, but deserving has nothing to do with it. I don't have to deserve it, and I don't have to earn it. It's enough to simply enjoy myself, quietly and exuberantly and in service of nothing.

I had a stint in my teenage years where... honestly, my family lost everything. I couch-surfed at a family friend's house for a few years because we didn't have a place to live. I watched my parents cling to a job with a deeply, deeply abusive boss because it was the only way to keep insurance for my medical expenses -- and back then, there were a lot. Hell, I spent several years in there too scared to tell my parents about my symptoms because I knew we couldn't afford a doctor. So... I probably have some issues when it comes to saving and spending money... but the fact of the matter is that there's no point in having money if you're not willing to enjoy it a little bit, and it's not like I'm spending irresponsibly or refusing to share what I have. I save, I donate, I give gifts, I try to make the world better in at least tiny ways. It's okay if I try to make my own life better, too. ;o;

I keep telling myself that, anyway. Maybe this coming year I'll finally be able to make myself believe it. lmao. It's a worthy endeavor.

4. Allow myself both pride and joy in my work.

I'm a good writer! I'm a good editor! I make lovely things! I make people happy! Writing this paragraph is very difficult for me!

Back under point one, when I said "I try to make something beautiful", I initially thought "I make something beautiful" but then I felt bad. Like I was being arrogant or too up my own ass or inflating the quality of my work. But I didn't want to take it out, either, because I do attempt to make lovely things when I see shit. I think it's important to combat horror with joy, no matter what that means to you. So... I compromised and wrote "I try to make something beautiful", and I hope that next year I am mentally healthy enough to be able to write "I make something beautiful."

How do I put this... My parents were always supportive of my endeavors growing up, and they were never stingy with praise when I did something right. This isn't some weird situation where I'm trying to earn praise that never came. It's just that even as a child, I have never been able to internalize praise, which has had the effect of making me feel like I'm never good enough.

Feeling like you're enough is... I mean, I think it's a struggle for a lot of us. I think that's a very human emotion. But I'm coming to terms with the fact that the way I look at praise isn't exactly healthy, and I do think I've come to pinpoint where a lot of this is coming from.

While my parents were always proud of me, there's always been this idea there that praise should be private, and so should pride. You thank someone in private. You do good in private. You praise someone in private. And you never speak of the good you have done.

Like I said, I grew up fundie. I think my parents were, in some ways, rebelling against "false" Christians (a whole other discussion...) who would do good simply to put themselves on a pedestal later, or worse, who would hold it against others or manipulate them with favors. My grandmother is the QUEEN of this, so I see where my mother's feelings came from. So there was always this drive from home to be good silently and without attention, and that you should never accept praise for it.

That combined with the wider teachings of the church, which again, really emphasized humility -- especially in girls, sigh -- and made us "give it to God", so to speak. I don't do good things. God does good things through me. That sort of situation. It's why my grandmother is so upset that both my mother and I write secular fiction. Our gifts came from God and should be used in service of him -- so, as a tool for proselytization and a weapon against non-believers. :') You know the type.

(Side note: no, my mother has never, ever read any of my fiction even though she has begged. No, I would die. I only started reading hers as an adult once she became one of my clients. It's kind of weird how we both decided to write but never let the other read any of it, haha.)

Anyway, my point is that I have a very difficult time accepting praise which means I have a difficult time internalizing praise which means I have a difficult time ever feeling like I have done something worthy of praise, and I also feel like an arrogant asshole whenever I do manage to feel good about my work. This is obviously less than ideal. I've been slowly working un untangling my negative reaction to pride, especially because I don't actually think I'm bad at things. I just... think I'm a bad person when I admit that I'm good at things. It's a process. lmao

I tend to reread nice comments that people have left me when I'm feeling really down on myself. That's why I've been saving kind replies with the "praise" tag. It's partially so people can block it (I... always assume people will not want to see me accepting praise, HMM) but mostly so I can go back and find it later. I have a much easier time allowing other people to praise me than allowing myself to do it. But I also have a hard time believing it...?

I've had some success with telling myself that it's disrespectful to my readers if I don't trust what they say about my work -- like, am I accusing them of lying to me? Of having bad taste? If it's neither of those things, then the praise must be genuine. That's actually helped quite a bit. I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that I have talent.

But even just writing that last sentence made me wince a little bit! Damn it! It's really hard for me and I'm trying to just... force myself through it. Tell myself that my work is good and I'm not a bad person for acknowledging that. Sometimes saying my work "makes people happy" is easier for me, especially because... I mean, it's probably that in service to others thing again... but it also puts the onus of preference onto them and not me lmao.

But yes. In 2023 I am going to allow myself to linger over praise and maybe even let myself believe it. I am going to tell myself that my writing is good, and no, this is not going to be the fic that I finally fuck up and disappoint everyone. (And if I do write a fic that no one likes, that's okay, too! It's okay to experiment with what I like! It's okay to write something for me and not for others! Joy for my sake!!!) I am good at this and my writing is good and people like it and I kind of like it too and that's okay. It's not perfect, but nothing is. And there's value in it regardless.

I'd stare in the mirror and force myself to look myself in the eye while I tell myself I did a good job and I should feel happy about that but I don't keep mirrors in my house because they creep me out! I have tiny ones in my bathrooms because they came that way but they're not useful. lmao. At least not for gripping the sink at 2 am and forcing yourself into self-appreciation.

(I'm a nice person! I'm smart! I try my best! I try to be patient with people who irritate me! I write nice things! People like me, damn it! ;o;)

4b. I will be open about my charitable donations.

A corollary to 4. Like I said, we were always supposed to be good in private. I have always marked my donations as anonymous when possible. But I had a charity last year have a little pop-up when I did that, and it told me that I may think that donating privately is the honorable thing to do, but that studies show that donating publicly encourages other people to donate as well. It lets your friends and loved ones see you do it, which gives them the idea to do it. It lets strangers see the name of real people on the page, so they don't feel alone and it encourages them to donate as well. And in the case of things like abortion funds, it lessens stigma to vociferously support them.

And I hadn't thought about it that way, honestly. I still won't talk about like... actual dollar amounts... but I do plan to be more open about the charities that I support and how often I support them.

This year I donated to Immigration Equality, Philabundance, Dysautonomia International, HIAS Philadelphia, a few different local community fridge projects, RIP Medical Debt, Feeding Texas, the Native American Disability Law Center, a few local abortion funds, a gofundme to help evacuate disabled Ukrainians, the Nationalities Service Center of Philadelphia, the National Parks Service, RAICES, the Philly Zoo, World Central Kitchen, and various disaster relief charities. (As in, direct response to temporary disaster relief funds.)

If you'd like to know more about any of those organizations, I would be more than happy to give you more information so you can support them as well. They're all causes I believe in, so I want to help get the word out about them however I can, even if uh. Honestly this might be the part of this post that feels the most awkward for me to write. It really goes against everything I've been taught, but I don't want my need for privacy to outweigh their ability to fundraise. : /

5. I will be better about replying to people.

This one feels self-explanatory. :')

That said, I'm gonna go eat dinner now and... not reply to the asks that are in my inbox now.

(THIS IS HOW IT BEGINS...)

aaaanyway yeah those are the five things I'm gonna try to work on in the coming year! None of them are things that can be fixed in a year and none of them are things that will change the world but like. I want to be happier. I want to let myself be happier. I want to be a kind person, a person who is patient with others' faults, and I think I need to start including myself in that.

:')

[just-being-leonest]

I've been playing Hunie Pop 2 (I didn't pay for it, a friend has the game and I am playing it when she comes over to hang with my brother) and I will say, the art is good and the gameplay is very fun!

That being said, while the game is very diverse (...Polly <3), it's not diverse in "we talked to and researched about the minorities being represented in our game to be respectful and give true representation" way but in a "we went through porn categories to research and decided that was good enough" way.

Idk much about the production outside of the game, although I do know what they did with Polly (which was annoying imo but eh), but in the story itself there's so many racial stereotypes, islamaphobia (oh my God Abia they did you so DIRTY), sexism, and anti sex worker speak (you're a fucking porn game??? Get over yourself????) jam packed in there.

I'm not expecting stellar rep from a porn game but damn at least pretend like you aren't jam packing the narrative with bigotry. And this is all stuff I've noticed while playing the game myself! Let alone what someone who's actually part of those minorities might have noticed that I haven't.

At the end of the day am I ever gonna buy the game and spend money on it? No. Am I going to encourage anyone to do so? No. Am I going to judge anyone who plays it? If they're uncritical of it and don't realize that it's there to perpetuate horrible stereotypes (not even TOUCHING on the fucking cousin shit) then yes I'll be a bit wary. I'm not gonna stop anyone from buying the game bc as far as I know the devs aren't pulling a JK Rowling and I'm probably still gonna finish the game considering I haven't even paid for it (the gameplay is RLLY good wtf-) albeit with the knowledge that it's... very demeaning towards minorities.

That's all rlly, I just wanted to get my thoughts out about the game. It's basically one big side eye that rlly shows a lot of flaws in the porn industry imo, although I could be wrong as I'm not speaking from too much experience other than watching a video or two of nsfw shit lmao.

[dervampireprince]

at this point I’ve been accidentally using your audios as show recommendations. like I won’t know what to watch and then I’ll see something and remember there’s an audio of yours I want to listen to but idk the character so hey might as well watch it. so thanks for the accidental recommendations these have all been really good so far.

are there any tv shows (or video games tbh cause hades and undertale were very good) you really like that you’d be willing to recommend bc I’m always looking for more and clearly you have good taste.-🍁

aw well i'm glad you trust my recommendations. hm honestly i don't watch stuff all that often, or at least not in the last 6 months or so i haven't had a lot of time but i'll try and think of some things:

i'm assuming you already know of shows i've made audios of: our flag means death, the sandman, arcane, moon knight, the legend of vox machina, castlevania (all of which i recommend)

shows i love that i haven't made audios of...: bbc's ghosts, good omens, band of brothers, peaky blinders, merlin, uummm. if you want comfy cozy time i've been rewatching adventures in moominvalley (the entire show is on youtube), not a fiction show but while i've been unwell some months ago i was spending all my time on the sofa watching the repair shop (craftsmen restoring antiques that have a lot of sentimental value to their owners and yes i'll cry when an old teddy bear gets restored)

video game wise, other than hades and undertale, the undertale sequel deltarune, smile for me (just finished again and still love it so much), the stanley parable, a hat in time is sweet though i haven't played it myself, most kirby games

ye idk that's me trying to wrack my brain for things