#idk how to find these things on my own tbh | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

foolish-took · 5 months ago

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Hi to the dimension 20 tumblr people PLEASE is there anyone out there who has seen and thoroughly enjoy a court of fey and flowers I would like to be directed to whatever fan content exists out there. And also to talk about it if anyone would be willing

#this is a cry for help #idk how to find these things on my own tbh #this campaign was from 2022 who even knows if anything exists #if nothing exists I will build it from the ground up myself #dimension 20 #d20 #gonna tag dnd just in case #dnd #d&d #dungeons and dragons

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euthymiya · 2 months ago

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#riv rambles #I need to know #I am 😔 unfortunately in the second category 😔#a fic could be beautifully written and very talent filled work but #idk I have a distinct vision of a character that I simply can’t find myself deviating from #and ofc everyone is allowed their own interpretations but #I simply have a hard time enjoying things that aren’t how I envision them #it’s a curse really #😔#so anyway I just wanted to know if I’m mentally ill or if this is a more common thing #I could just be completely irrational in my fic reading habits tbh #that’s very possible

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gjsxj0 · 5 months ago

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mindless rambling in tags don't mind me

#not art post #rambling in tags because i can and its MY BLOG #anyway its about tdp *waits* ok for the three of you that actually care #someone retweeted one of my threads from 2019 after s2 dropped (imo the BEST tdp season) and i reread it #and tbh i am still right about viren's characterization #obviously canon changed some things but TO BE REAL..... i dont care what the writers say bc i had beef since s3 #how am i supposed to believe any viren and callum parallels and callbacks when they..... havent talked since when?#and uhhh viren's demise lol i expected it but wow i am not happy with the lead up to it #more cool and eloquent people put it in better words on twitter and probably tumblr too idk i just say things and hope they make sense #anyway viren is still the very real traumatized angry severely depressed old man from s2... his life was just revealed to be so much worse #like damn. he was poor he was orphan he got divorced and then a stupid mirror started ruining his life even more #yes the mirror was the start of it why do you think aaravos revealed himself after viren's firey break down #aaravos went i can make him worse and ran with it #should viren go to prison? yeah i never once denied that lmao but god he and his family were really the ones to suffer in the show #at least viren is gone so i can just *plucks him out of the dirt and morphs him into my own oc* (im for real)#i got maybe more to say but this is long and im lazy and im not too smart so i will just move on #i will watch s7................................... i GUESS and if you find salt i will probably be there lol

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halorocks1214 · 1 month ago

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#iskall85 #<- i will be rambling in the tags lol #and im rambling here because my priorities in this situation i realize logically Should Not Be prioritized #but man. i really hope stress is okay #the hermits have handled everything very well support the victims etc etc #but idk. im realize this is parasocial but the responses about stress and how 'her departure had nothing to do with complaints/#she left of her own accord' i feel are missing what people are asking? or maybe im the only one asking this but #i think people are asking about her because that was one of her best friends!#they had such chemistry the fandom arguably considered them a 'ship' even when shipping was taboo!!#ive never been particularly invested in iskall outside of architechs stuff #but stress was one of my absolute faves! and i haven't been doing well with keeping up with most hermit stuff #but i know shes been having a rough time with irl things #and i cannot imagine the pain and hurt finding out someone your were close to is Like That #on top of everything else she was dealing with #im aware her turning off comments and deleting her socmeds are more than likely to do with her #not wanting to deal with people badgering her about leaving hermitcraft #but :/ it feels like theres more to why she chose the nuclear option #i know i know. tbh i dont actually really want or expect answers this is mostly just speculation #i just really liked stress' content and her hiatuses are always in the back of my mind

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scionshtola · 5 months ago

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i am not really a zenos enjoyer in the sense i think most ppl think of it but i do appreciate what his role does for cori. like i do think it’s neat he looked at them and saw their power and then made up everything about their personality in order to see connection. it’s cool to me that cori gets to be like no, he’s wrong about me. that cori gets to have all this power and still be kind, still not be bloodthirsty in any way, still not want to engage with him. idk i just think it adds a lot!

#i try not to talk about it a lot bc on here it seems like there’s a v specific way ppl want to see it #which is like your wol HAS to have this connection with him and if you don’t like it you’re not doing it right #that there are ‘canon’ dialogue choices and every other choice is wrong #which i find really frustrating lol like the only canon thing is how he feels about the wol #you get to choose how to feel back #and it’s esp weird to me considering he himself says everyone brings their own meaning to things!#idk like he was v frustrating to me bc of this projection but in a way that worked. that was done on purpose!!!#and so to always see things about how that *wasnt* on purpose and there’s only one way you’re supposed to react to him. idk!!#my one real wish tbh is that when he says you can walk away that they really meant that lol bc that’s what cori would have done #but even cori making the choice to do that has given me stuff to work with!#i need a text post tag #endwalker spoilers #sorry i was just reading things earlier lol

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mbat · 4 months ago

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its not really a new thing for me to say that i kinda hate the whole 'werewolf pack' kinda thing for a few reasons, but i dont like, entirely hate it yknow

like my main thing is i like characters having a sortve isolated angsty ass time(i wonder why /s), and werewolves are great for angst! so putting the two together is like. oh hell yes. but thats just a me thing

but also for some reason almost every depiction ive seen of werewolves and werewolf packs has been like... 'their nature/instincts/whatever makes this happen' like, they cant resist it because its something theyre basically forced to do by their biology. ive seen it be blood families, ive seen it be random people who just met and theyre basically bound by the universe i guess, blah blah blah

and idk, i hate that. of course, almost everyone and almost every species has it in their nature to be social and need connection, but its not portrayed like that in these cases. its portrayed more like theyll basically die if they for whatever reason reject it or something, and that their loyalty is their entire life or whatever. idk, its hard to describe.

i think its kinda obvious that im leading this up to found family. who doesnt love found family? who doesnt love when people and characters choose the people that they want to spend their lives with, whether blood is involved or not.

and theres no instinct part of it for me, its just people who want/need support from others, and they find people they love, and you could call it a pack but i just personally wouldnt. its just like any other relationship tbh, but its obv cuter as a group :p

and if it happens to be other werewolves, or other monsters, or even just humans... thats their people that they chose.

#my post #just sayin whatever lol #i just CANT take it seriously when mfs start going off about alphas or mates or what the fuck ever #i hate how forced it is. both forced upon them by the universe they live in but it also just feels forced by the narrative to me idk #funny enough im just thinking about my own werewolf takes #like. i wanted to write a werewolf shaggy fic at one point (still kinda wish i could but ive yet to settle on a premise that i like)#and like... his family is the mystery gang. not because he feels some sense of dog loyalty for them #but because he loves them and theyre his everything and theyd all do anything for eachother #or like. johnny toast and ghost and p.i.e. . like. those are his guys <3 #idk if i got my point across at all lol #i mean even in a show i watched lately that had werewolves they mentioned packs and there was a werewolf pack at some point #but it didnt feel like a whole forced by nature thing. it was just all the local werewolves finding community in eachother #AS IT SHOULD BE.#i mean they were really fucked up people but that has nothing to do with the pack stuff. everyone in that show sucked a lot tbh #werewolves #tropes

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babacontainsmultitudes · 9 months ago

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[just venting a bit into the void you understand you understand 😌] Lately I've been feeling very caught between "I have a lot of thoughts on Sparrow and Normal and all that with the ending and teen talk and feel like I need to get them out and voice them for my own piece of mind and resolution" and "I am lacking the strength and energy to actually sit down and write it all out and kind of really just want to fully move on to other things (AUs, fics, anything else)" but my brain can't seem to commit to either and that's quite frustrating cause it's just left me very restless. *Sigh*. Idk! Just needed to complain about that a bit ig, it's silly but this is what has been ailing me as of late.

#Then there's also a part of me that's like “does anyone even care at this point? haven't I already talked about them too much?”#but I have seen many a take that irk me...#and perhaps at the center of it all nagging at me is that persistent conflation of love and pride #Less about that in Normal's mind so much as in Will's and the fandom's 🤔#Also that reoccurring issue of the fandom going ''Normal thinks this therefore it is The Truth'' though I believe I've discussed this befor #And... Hooks Will could have grabbed onto but didn't... Quite a few of those...#And the double standard/negativity bias in fandom of ignoring that Sparrow says both that he loves and likes Normal while doodlerized #But not treating those with the same legitimacy we do the pride thing. And ignoring Sparrow's demonstrations of love and change...#And what the love wolf scene actually implies about Sparrow (as I see it) with his own explanation of the pride thing in mind #But also!!! Also on Norm's epilogue and how despite everything taken at face value (i.e. no teen talk influence) I don't actually hate it #and I think it's plenty salvageable #And gah also that like *regardless* of how things turn out with Normal and his dad-#Well I haven't listened to much of the teen talk just the directly Sparrow-relevant clips #so I don't know quite how cynical Will is or isn't about Normal's future #But like. UGH. What I'm trying to say is even if things didn't find resolution vis-a-vis his dad #(which tbh I could go either way on- it's the meta misinterpretations of Sparrow that Bother me not so much Normal's)#(Well that's complicated. Again it comes back to the love vs. pride thing gosh this is so vague of me lol)#With all the positive influences in his life (and just the fact that life is long? and therapy is a thing?) I just don't see Normal-#being Miserable for the rest of his life. Like. I mean I won't elaborate here really but damn it no he can absolutely turn out alright stil #blugh #BUT YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN THAT'S A LOT OF STUFF AND THAT'S ONLY VAGUE RAMBLINGS ABOUT *SOME* OF IT #Like I'm proud of a lot of my essay posts (which I'm hoping to eventually compile in a masterpost eventually actually) but they take a whil #And if my heart wants to do other things... Ah idk...#ANYWAYS a vent to vent a vent to vent

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thesorrowoflizards · 30 days ago

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so is wolf's dad actually dead or did he disappear into the woods and was never found. and is LIKELY dead but not confirmed. yknow. is he going to show up in the s1 finale. dead or alive for that matter

#brilliant minds spoilers #forgive me if i missed a point where they actually said they found his body #i need to rewatch tbh #anyway im kind of thinking of how the bones s1 finale was so goddamn iconic #obviously that's its own thing and this is its own thing but yknow #this was in my drafts and. yeah. idk man i wonder #i think in a show dedicated to more grounded realistic expectations rather than miracule cures its unlikely he'll be found alive #but learning more about his last moments or that he survived longer than expected(?(#meeting someone who met him and stayed with him or finding out how exactly he died #or even just his body being found and the grief that comes with that.....#idk man im thinkin about it

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bluejayblueskies · 2 years ago

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i've often yearned to be in a romantic relationship, from when i was pretty young to now even though i now recognize that i'm aromantic and it's not something i actually want when push comes to shove. and this probably isn't anything profound, but i've started to wonder recently if i'm actually yearning for a romantic relationship or if i'm yearning for a deeply meaningful, intimate, and loving relationship with somebody who i can trust and show all the parts of myself and know that they'll always be on my side and spend the rest of my life with, and society has just told me over and over and over again that i can't have that without the romance

#now i know what you're thinking:#'hey jay you talk a lot about queerplatonic relationships and how they're important #and you talk a lot also about how friendships are just as intimate and loving as romantic relationships'#and yeah i do! recently i've been involved in fandom spaces where we talk about these things (like malevolent)#with a lot of other aspec people who share their own experiences (esp. with malevolent with the aro!arthur headcanons)#but i've always been really bad at actually integrating that stuff into how i go about my own irl life #and tbh ... even if it crossed my mind before i never really thought it was a realistic thing to want yknow?#the thought of 'well who's going to give you what you want out of a relationship and be okay with it *not* being romantic'#has definitely crossed my mind many times #but idk! i've always just really wanted that One Person Who Will Be With You Always that i saw growing up irl and in media #and that i still see and love and want #and i still don't know if i personally will ever find somebody who i want that with who won't be looking for romance #but it's finally started to sink in i think that what i want and who i am are not two conflicting forces #i can want all the things that a romantic relationship has to offer (minus the romance of course) *and* i can be aromantic #and these are two things that can coexist #and that real people have! and that i'm seeing written into media! (malevolent my beloved)#it's just helped me wrap my head around all of this a little bit better #personal

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autumnhobbit · 1 year ago

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I’m gonna be real with you guys, I kind of dread the idea of trying to raise any future kids in this church

#and it’s not because i don’t believe the faith. obvs i do #but like in practice i’m either going to be going by myself or with my mom & siblings or whoever #i don’t have any friends my age so idk how i’m gonna find good friends for future kids #and obvs i want them to have good friends #i do believe in the virtues of friendship and believe it’s an important thing for people to experience and work at #but also i’ve had a lot of heartbreak in friendship and have a complicated relationship with it #and when i think back on my own childhood in churches it was always so turbulent #both because my family didn’t gel with the cultures/ideals of so many parishes #and because my dad made enemies everywhere we went (for obvious reasons but still)#that wasn’t us kids’ fault #but it didn’t matter #i thought i had adults to look up to in faith #but i have literally none i have a close relationship with #and even the ones i respect that doesn’t mean they’re good around kids #or would like hanging out with me #and i don’t want just any random person thinking because they’ve talked to me a couple times #that they get say in the close intimate decisions or issues i have with my spouse or children #the whole thing is strange tbh #like i don’t even want to have a close relationship with some priests even if i respect them or like them #and too many priests think that just cause they see you once a week they know you and should have a say in things they know nothing about #idk man catholicism in america and maybe the world is just. so hard nowadays.

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catkin-morgs-kookaburralover · 2 years ago

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see sometimes I try and think about it all more logically. what if it was all happening to a friend. my friend!! you completely forgot to feed your kitten his wet food for five days? you haven't drunk water for a couple of days? you didn't shower or change your clothes for four days? you've only eaten two actual meals in the last two days? your average sleep in the last week is around five hours? my friend, you need help.

since it's me, I don't need help.

#most of it has been genuine forgetfulness/zoning out and 'oh it's 2am'#but like. last night i was lying awake hungry as anything bc all I had was dinner and not a great deal of that. if id been in a house on my #own i would've hopped up and got smth but i couldn't in case of disturbing grandma #(I have since purchased things that I will store near my bed that I can either take out of there #or leave them there for any such emergencies. if you call them emergencies. sometimes if i can't handle eating normally if i can't see what #im eating i can manage that - makes it less real somehow.)#honestly tho i am shocked by how immediately all my carefully created routines have fallen apart tbh #should i talk to my lecturer at uni who does the 12-2 class? to check she's ok with me eating in class? bc otherwise i will likely not eat #anything before dinnertime. probably skip breakfast #i don't know. i don't know anything. i love my course i love it so much and i don't know how i'll handle it #but i don't think i'd handle not doing it #idk im just so tired man #depression does a number on you frfr #okay that's it im turning on the heater finding some music and doing a lil dance. see if i feel better. maybe try a bit of hot water with #ginger or smth livening in it. i do want to try that. something to wake you up. ive been in a dead depressed limbo for five hours straight #and done nothing of use #tw ed #good news tho i find my anxiousness overall reduces the more depressed i am xD idk why lol #personal #puddleglum hours

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sirompp · 2 years ago

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did you know lego has a "pick a brick" thing on their site whee you can pick individual bricks to buy. unrelated but did you know ive never shopped online for anything before.

#im still not done...#ive had this tab open for days.#n*njago friends you will be real soon.#<-censored so it doesnt show up in searches. youre welcome random people ill never see who are just trying to find fandom content <3 #im getting extra of some pieces bc i want to paint them.......#i literally have just minifigure pieces in here btw.#i used to be (and still am) obsessed with making minifigures #more than building sets anyway #bc. like. sets you get to make once. but lego OCs? you can unmake and remake them foreveerrrrrrrr #like they have so many normal lego pieces on here too but how am i supposed to know what pieces ill need for a build.#i dont even know what im going to build!!#i wish there was a site or a program where you could like. make your own lego builds with whatever pieces you like #and then itd tell you what pieces and how many youd need to make it irl so i could order them on the site...#in an ideal world id be playing with legos So Much but sadly i dont have very many legos.#ive literally only made 2 lego builds that Werent straight from an instruction manual and that was. this month.#only one of them is a real build the other was just a set piece for photos for a silly storyline i was doing in my discord server #the van doesnt look great. the windshield comes off So Easily and also Doesnt Even Align With The Rest Of The Van Theres Like This Weird Ga #and the other thing is just a wall with 3 chairs and a Very Bad Looking Mirror/Window and the walls made with ROOF PIECES.#and i mean. theres this old saying. limitation breeds creativity.#idk if its an old saying tbh i remember seeing it one time #and its definitely true. my builds look Kind Of Stupid but theyre charming and theyre MINE.#if i had access to every single piece in the world the hair salon set piece might not have had pink and white striped walls #which are only striped bc i had to put flat white tiles between the roof pieces cause i didnt have enough of them #and the van. um. ok im struggling to think of a good thing to say about the van i just like it man even if it looks a bit shit #i used the horse stable doors as actual openable car doors which is something ive always wanted from a lego car #actually if i had all the pieces in the world i wouldnt have made the hair salon setpiece thing anyway cause i only made it bc #i lost the hair piece of one of my minifigures and Could Not Find It At All and thought itd be funny if i made the guy go to the hair salon #AND if i had all the pieces in the world that minifigure wouldnt even exist!!!! i would never have made n*injago friends bc i would have.#just had the normal n*njago minifigures. no need to White Womanify them because like every lego friends piece is a white woman piece #and the Cole With Gun bit wouldnt exist bc my friend would have never thought he was holding a gun instead of an axe

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marinehero · 1 year ago

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continues to think ab scenario where garp joined roger's crew before the navy

#{ ooc } ✗ 「 wenp reporter 」#tbd.#[ sniff #[ the world could not handle it tbh but thinks ab it anyway #[ idk if he'd stick with roger til the end or if he'd leave at some point to join the navy #[ or if he'd just do his own thing idk start the RA on his own or something #[ but thinks a lot ab garp envying roger for his freedom and thinks a lot ab how garp Is very piratecoded if it weren't for the fact that #[ he's also herocoded <- wants to help ppl #[ but continues to think ab situation where roger n rayleigh find garp on dawn island before the navy do <- it could've happened #[ gets his own 'i hate pirates all my homies hate pirates' to 'me and the besties (pirates)' arc #[ <- kind of man who'd constantly fight roger but would fight roger the hardest when the man reveals he's going to die #[ sighs #[ slams fist on floor i want to write things so so bad kljdsfs IRL tiring but wagh.....#[ sighs continues to microwave blorbos in head instead

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phagodyke · 1 year ago

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whenever ppl ask me what my type is (or even like. what celebrities I find attractive) I have a rly hard time pinning it down for them bc things like familiarity actually factor in a LOT for me so I don't tend to immediately recognise whether someone I've never seen before irl is hot or not. actually if we wanna get properly into it the reality of how attraction works for me is that I fall in world-rearrangingly devastating love with someone and my "type" then redefines itself accordingly as a category of ppl who remind me of them in specific subtle/less-than-subtle ways and the imprint of that sticks with me forever so whenever I find someone instinctively beautiful I'm always just seeing the ghost of past loves in their face or the way they hold themselves. but I can't explain that to ppl bc I feel like it comes across weird and a little creepy so I just laugh and tell them "well its arbitrary, I'm just attracted to ppl on an individual basis! um and also ayo edebiri is sooo gorgeous" which is true

#I mean it makes total sense bc there are some ppl who mean so much to u that just seeing them triggers ur oxytocin like crazy #so of course being reminded of them when looking at a stranger is going to manifest as attraction #most of my friends are genuinely jaw droppingly gorgeous to me bc i have such strong affection for them how can i not find that there!!#there are definitely some celebrities I consider pretty/handsome. but as an aesthetic quality not from a place of attraction #its like looking at a nice wallpaper pattern or smth #idk. having a definitive answer for what i find attractive doesnt especially matter to me bc its such a fluid thing #in the same way that having a distinct sexuality/gender identity doesnt matter to me either. i dont really like boxing myself in w labels #I mean I like using words like dyke and butch as a shorthand bc they point in the right kind of direction. but theyre not exclusive to me #I feel like this world constantly tries to interrogate and label things in a way thats pretty unnecessary tbh #like I get that having categories is important to some people. but not everyone yknow. its interesting to think abt tho #language will never be succint and perfect enough to define an entire human by its own nature!! all communication is a proxy measure #anyway im extremely tired. yes this is somewhat related to prev tamino post btw bc I was thinking abt how he looks like someone else #peace and goodnight on planet earth #.diaries

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1980ssunflower · 2 years ago

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**KISSES THEM BOTH AND PICKS THEM BOTH UP OFF THE GROUND

#ot3: ❤rhyme💛easy💙#tape entry circa 1980 #I WAS ABLE TO LIFT THEM BOTH UP OFF THE GROUND IN MY ARMS IN A DREAM SO THATS REAL NOW HFJDSK #i love them SOO SOOO SOO SO SO SO SOSOSOSOSO MUCH #every day i think of them and long for them #i just long for a happy life w them both... i want the simple things so badly tbh i want to fall asleep and wake up next to them every day #to make food for them and to cook together to go grocery shopping and running errands just whatever as long as its w them #there is beauty in everything even in the simple even in the ugly... and w them that beauty is so blindingly there at all times #i want to experience every little thing w them and be comforted by them and for them to comfort me too...#like when i broke the first elo album i ever owned and just BROKE down crying about it because of how important it was to me #and they went out immediately to try to find another first pressing to replace it #idk i just keep thinking about them and i keep feeling so sad because im not w them #the thought i could ever be w/o them makes me feel such deep dread that it makes me nauseous like ik i wouldnt be able to live w/o them #theyre my everything my life my loves my truest soulmates #id do anything to be home w them in the 80s to go on our rollerskating dates and to browse music for hours and hangout at the mall #idk i just cant stop thinking i just cant... i just love them more than life itself #i think everything in this world has beauty in it but when it comes to min and ryan its like nothing can even hold a candle to them #if the world is beautiful then they are ethereal #i was playing my guitar for a few hours today and just couldnt help but wonder if my min and ryan are proud of me...#if im... enough for them i guess #i havent been playing my whole life like they have so i feel like i cant match up... but ik they love me #and ik im good enough for the band and they would reassure me over and over of that #i just kinda wish they could love and reassure me in person #and then we could play and sing together :"-] id love to hear our voices together... i think my voice would go so perfectly w theirs

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coopermelissa · 2 months ago

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me pretending like i'm not lowkey stressed out abt the amount of ooc stuff i have to do on my blogs & just continuing to write? you betcha -

#( a pathological people pleaser // ooc )#(its not a lot but it is kinda alot)#(like i need to go through the following on this blog bc theres still a ton of people that havent followed back or re-followed after i #turned into it missy's. & like w that i still need to make a promo so i can properly promo it)#(on both blogs i need to go through & try to follow people's other blogs that i dont already follow & find any moved/archived blogs bc #i keep missing people moving blogs w how on & off i've been online)#(& then i still need to get queues going for both esp steve w the absolute shit ton of inspo stuff that's stacked up in my likes)#(plus i really wanna do some dash games & hcs for both - esp steve bc i have some hc inbox things there too - but in general-)#(& idk probably just some other general blog maintenance/clean up bs)#(oh OH plus the 'surprises' i promised on steve's blog weeks ago-)#(so yeah theres kinda a lot- but THE TEA IS - i dont feel like doing any of it lmao. like i have gotten so bad/lazy w ooc stuff the past #couple years bc it always just feels like so much- like yeah writing/ic can be its own struggle but at least there the struggle more comes #finding muse/etc its not like ... basically chores. its the FUN part of rping . ooc stuff is like the chores part of rping for me tbh-)#long tags tw

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