#idk how some people choose to move place to place every year

[baggy-holmes]

daydreaming about (hopefully) one day buying a house and never having to move ever again

[silv3rswirls]

Fawn

warnings: 18+, age gap(reader is 18), coercion, corruption, praise, humiliation, dirty talk, hair pulling, gaslighting and manipulation, alcoholism, some religious themes/talk, virgin/innocent reader, dark thoughts/fantasies, very vague mentions of familial abuse, shamming, obsession, overall yoongi is a ✨creep✨

Note: sometimes I piss myself off because I've been dying over this fic for days and now I don't even like it much anymore- can I have nothing?😭idk might start writing more smut now??

You were a fawn in headlights when he first saw you in that clearing. Your back had been to him and at first, he had swore and scoffed at you because who hangs around in the woods disturbing his peace? Everyone in this town knew he lurked behind the tree line, drinking himself stupid and doing whatever fucked up activities they rumored him to. Yoongi never minded being the talk of the town. He’d been an outcast since his teenage years. Since he stopped going to church with his family like every other prim family populating the place. They took some fun teenage rebellion and ran with it- he liked to think himself not as messed up as people whispered he was. He’d always thought himself not to be until he met you.

He found you picking berries and flowers, anything that looked pretty out in the forest. You were kneeling trying to choose the perfect dandelion to add to your basket when he stormed over; pissed that someone was in his usual drink until he couldn’t move anymore spot. He liked it because it was a short walk from where he liked to stare at the Sunday churchgoers leaving and freak them out. He could recall seeing you before, always glued to your mother's side wherever you went.

But he stayed away and kept to himself like always. He couldn’t say he had many, if any, friends around here. He’d been on his own since graduating and his family moved away shortly after. He hadn’t been close to them at the time so being left alone was welcomed at first. As for everyone else; if someone didn’t fit in around here they were an outcast without much care and it seemed that no one cared for him.

“What are you doing?” He barked, scowling as he approached you. Bottles clinked in the bag he was loosely holding and his cigarette was at the end of its life. You stood up, stumbling back a bit in shock. Yoongi wasn’t a kind person, so you’d heard, and his appearance didn’t do anything to help. He was scowling, his hair was frazzled from rolling out of bed an hour or so ago. Dressed in darker colors, a sweater and thick coat layered in him. You wanted to laugh over how tired and grumpy he looked, but the nervous swirl in your stomach told you not to.

“I’m just picking flowers” You straightened up, knuckles white as you gripped the basket and your free hand smoothing down your skirt. 

“Well this is my spot” he rolled his eyes. He didn’t want to hear your stupid humming or see that ridiculous frilly dress you were in. Something about it pissed him off, he couldn’t place it exactly, but whatever it was would put a damper on his getting shitfaced in the woods plan for today. Besides, you had just come from Sunday service, he didn’t need any annoying pestering about drinking or sinning, or whatever he was sure you would pester him about.

Your eyes landed in his bag, before flicking up to him a bit wide. “Are you drinking out here?”

“So what if I am?”

He watches you look around, pressing your lips together for a moment. “Could I try?” His brows raised in surprise. interesting outcome of all of this he supposed? “It’s just, I’ve always wanted to.”

“I know your mom, she’s crazy, you know? Where is she?”

“Still at service, she helps plan the food drive” You smiled a bit proud, “It’s next week.”

Yoongi hummed. She was a nutjob, he’d lost track of how many times she’d harassed him in the past month alone. “So while she’s planning to feed the needy you want to drink?” You nodded and he looked around in disbelief. Was this a joke? Was someone going to jump out and condemn him for even entertaining this? 

“Here” he fished out a bottle and held it out to you. He watched you smile, a curious twinkle in your eyes as you carefully set your flowers down and took it. He waited for you to try, there wasn’t anything better to do anyway.

Your sudden shyness poked him the wrong way. He watched you bring it to your lips for a moment before lowering it with a new nervous expression. Second guessing your rebellion? “Come on” he urged, moving to grab your arm and pull you over to him. You stumbled, kicking over your flowers and stepping on them as he dragged you over.

“Hey-” you cringed, the bottle clinking against your teeth as Yoongi held you firm in place and forced the drink into your mouth. “I don’t like it” You managed to get out between the burn of liquor and sputtering as you tried to breathe. You broke away, yoongi dumping the rest of the bottle onto you; dripping it down your hair and face, and soaking your pink cardigan. “Why would you do that?” Your voice wobbled, and your eyes were wet as you looked at him.

“You said you wanted to try, stop being a baby about it.” He rolled his eyes. He watched the heat of embarrassment color your cheeks, big wet streaks stained your face and your hair clumped wet against your skin. “Get out of here now and don’t come back.” 

He watches you grab your things and scurry away, and in the distance, he can hear your mother scolding you from the parking lot. 

“Why does everyone hate Yoongi?”

The already tense air between you and your mother grew thicker on the ride home. She was angry over the smashed flowers you brought her for her centerpieces and even angrier over your now damp and smelly clothing. The fact that you had come running back to the car in tears, crying like a child over Yoongi.  

“Isn’t what he did to you answer enough sweetheart?” She sighed, “He’s never been right, even when he was your age.” She cringed, “Ever since his parents left he’s gotten worse. He’s a creep honey, stay away from him.”

“His parents left him?” You perked up slightly, basically ignoring everything else she said. “Why would they do that? That’s so sad.”

“If he was my child I’d leave him too” She scoffed, “don’t feel sorry for him, he’s everything I’ve ever warned you about. You don’t want to get tied up in all that mess right?” She asked. You didn’t answer.

The second time you ran into Yoongi was in the same stretch of woods. You had nervously ventured out there a few weeks after the last time, unsure if you wanted to run into him or not. Your mother was right about him being scary. You’d never interacted with anyone so harsh before, everyone your mother kept in your circle was kind and caring, just as you were. All women, no men really got close thanks to her. Other than being intrigued about being around him and all the things he did that everyone had drilled into your head were wrong; you felt a bit bad for the older man. You couldn’t imagine being all alone like he was or listening to all the awful things people said about him. He couldn’t be as evil as people wanted you to think, right?

Maybe he just needed a friend?

When he saw you again he smiled in welcoming. After spending a few weeks mulling over what happened and being publicly shouted at for ‘harassing her poor child’, Yoongi had decided he wanted to get closer to you. What better way to stick it to your mom than to mess around with you some more? You were naive enough not to catch on, so what was the harm?

You just talked for a few hours with him. He listened more than opened up. He listened to you talk about what you liked to do, where to find all the best flowers around here, about how you were nervous about the little recital the church was having next month for the Holidays, and how they wanted you to sing in it.

He watched you fiddle with the robbins decorating your hair. Watched you kick your legs back and forth off the rocks you were perched on beside him. Watched how your skirt scrunched and rode up just slightly every time you moved. 

He went home that night feeling a bit odd over the experience. You seemed genuinely glad to have someone new to talk to. He wasn’t sure how he felt, because you looked so cute sitting next to him chatting his ear off. 

He was fucked to put it lightly. You were everything he hated about the people in this town. Stupid and blindly following the herd…but with more of an innocence. All Yoongi knew was that he was down bad and frankly, a little pissed about it. How many whores had he had in the past and how many could he go out and find at this moment? Too many, maybe they were getting boring to him because right now all he could think about was you. He wanted to poke fun at and just piss everyone off at first, but now…now he just wanted corrupt you. Odd, he’d never felt the want to do it before to anyone, but something about you was sticking to him. How could he not with how cute and innocent you acted around him? Your fault really...hadn't your mother already warned you about men like him? He wanted to take you until the innocent air surrounding you was gone until all you could think about is him and how good he fucked your little virgin cunt. How cute you’d be under him. Covering your breasts and trying to hide away from his hungry eyes. Your cute little moans, moans you’d likely never made before. The feeling of you stretching around him for the first time. A little too much to handle, but you’re eager to please him. How wet you’d be, how it’d be such a challenge to bottom out, and how you’d squirm and try to resist the urge to be run over the edge as his hips pressed into yours. Your thighs twitch and try to close, too overwhelmed by the new sensations happening in your body. He’d leave you ruined; never to be the same again.

Yoongi blinked himself out of thought, he was sitting outside of his house having zoned out thinking about it all. 

Well, change of plans he supposed?

Two weeks later snow began to fall and hanging out with you had become routine. Admittedly, it wasn’t that bad. Other than an insatiable want to get you in his bed, he couldn’t say he hated every moment spent hanging around you. It was refreshing not to be by himself all day, he hadn’t had a real friend since early high school, and every day since had pretty much been spent alone. Stuck with a family that refused to speak to him until he admitted his sin and went back to church to grovel for forgiveness; he’d never do that even now. To his surprise you hardly talked about your family or religion; he had part expected you to try and drill it all into him. But you were pretty quiet and liked to laugh at all the ‘silly’ things he did as you liked to put it. You thought the way he slurred words when he was drunk was cute, but wouldn’t touch a drink from him after what happened, not unless he sweet-talked you enough. Sometimes it felt like he could sweet talk you into doing anything he wanted. Sometimes you’d let him put a shot glass to your lips and pour it down, wincing at the burn and getting watery-eyed. Yoongi wasn’t interested in bringing you anything gentle, he liked the hard stuff that could send him over the edge with a few drinks.

“Yoongi?” You asked one night. He was sitting beside you on the park bench, wrapped up in a plethora of jackets and hoodies trying to fight against the bitter air. Obviously, he couldn’t go to your place, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted you hanging around his yet. Truth be told he wasn’t sure if he could contain himself seeing you sitting in his bed just talking with that sweet tone of yours. Your eyes looking up at him, wide and fully focused on what he was doing or saying. You’d be wearing one of those silly frilled dresses you liked; he was sure of it. He’d thought about it so many times. How you’d let him get close and run a hand over your thigh, then over your stomach, to your chest. You’d let him kiss you, he knew you would. You liked doing what he said. You were so curious to partake in all the things he liked to do; all the things you weren’t supposed to do. One night he passed you a blunt without thinking much of it, you took it but nearly choked trying to smoke it for the first time. So you settled on letting him blow smoke in your face because he wanted to and you kept lying that you liked the smell of it.

“Yoongi?” You repeated, pulling him out of his daydream. He hummed, “Can I ask you something personal?”

“Go for it.” He’d lie if he didn’t want to answer, he lied to you a lot and you never seemed to pick up on it.

“Have you been in love before?”

“No.” He looked over at you again. You were playing with your hands in your lap, your nose was red from the cold and your hair was covered in snowflakes. He was still damp from earlier when you made him do a snow angel alongside you. “Why?”

“I don’t know “your face flushed, “I just wish I knew what it felt like. I’ve never been able to have a boyfriend” you explained, “Mom said I have to wait longer, I think she wants to find someone for me.”

“Well, that’s what good girls are supposed to do, right?” He asked, rolling his head back to look at the street light above and watching the snow flurries cluster around it. 

You were quiet for a moment, “I guess. I don’t know I’ve just been thinking alot lately, questioning some things.”

Yoongi nodded, he could remember when he started to as well. Hearing how everything in your circle talked about Yoongi didn’t sit right. Everyone should love everyone and get along, that is what you had thought everyone preached around you your whole life. Now they spoke about him like trash, ever since he poured the liquor on you. You hardly even cared much after the fact. It had been thrilling in your otherwise mundane life. Everyone thought you were staying clear of him, but you liked hanging out with him. Every evening when your mother left for work you ran to him. And every Sunday morning people still talked about what happened. How Yoongi shouldn’t be allowed to stay around here, how he was nasty and unholy, and how he'd do horrible things to you if you got close again. 

“You want a boyfriend?”

“My mom would kill me if she knew I did.”

Yoongi wet his lips and tugged your jacket until you looked at him. You were pouting, eyes cast down as you thought about it. “Well,” he started waiting for you to look up at him with your little doe eyes met his. “I could be your boyfriend” it rolled off his tongue, music to your ears. “No one will know, we’ll do all the things girlfriends and boyfriends do.” He waited for your reply, “unless you don’t like me?” He couldn’t remember the last time he spoke in such a tone: a soft and nearly whiny one. 

“No, I do!” You blurted out. “I want you to be my boyfriend, please Yoongi?”

He could listen to you say please all night.

“You’re not scared about breaking your mom's rules?” He egged in, “Not very good of you to lie.”

You scooted closer to him, grabbing his hand and pouting. “I-I don’t care about lying to her. Really! I’ve always wanted a boyfriend and I really like you, so why not?”

“Okay” he grinned, “I’ll be your boyfriend baby.” You grinned, genuinely excited. “We should make it official though, give me a kiss?”

You picked at the edges of your sleeves, “Y-yeah…but I’ve never…done that.”

Good, he thought. He wanted to be your first anything and everything. To teach you how to be a good girlfriend for him. “It’s okay, I’ll teach you. Just follow my lead.”

He grabbed your face, encouraging you to get even closer. Your legs pressed against his and he held your waist tight. He could see the shine of your strawberry lip gloss and the pink ribbon in your hair tickled his hand as he held your cheek. You were enthralled, gazing into his eyes like hearts were exploding behind you. He kissed you, trying to start slow and keep the cute boyfriend appearance up, but he was ready to get heated and messy with you. He did- kissed you harder, nibbled your lip, and pressed his tongue into your mouth. You were so meek under him, trying your best to keep up.

Your lipgloss was smeared- most of it left on Yoongi. You made it just-in-time before your mother got home. You scurried upstairs to change and pretend you’ve been in bed all night. You still felt breathless over the kisses. How he held you and how he asked you to be his girlfriend. You didn’t know how it was supposed to go, but you were sure he did it well. He had to. You hurried yourself under the covers. 

You had a boyfriend!

You kissed him!!

You smiled thinking about his hands holding you- how big they felt against your waist and his sting against your cheek. His lips were chapped and a bit cold against yours. He said he liked your lipgloss- the one you begged your mom to let you get just so you could wear it for him. 

“You’ve never touched yourself before?” You weren’t sure how the topic had been brought up, but Yoongi had just become far more interested in your video call after you let your secret slip out. You’d been lying around in bed talking to him for the past few hours. He was at home while you were stuck in bed for the night. Your mom was sick and hadn’t gone to work in a few days. You’d been missing Yoongi so he promised to call you.

“No…we’re not supposed to…my mom always tells me I shouldn’t it’s not pure and good.” You explained. Yoongi rolled his eyes, what a fanatic. 

“I used to think that, my family taught me the same things.” He started, “But I don’t agree. It’s normal, we’re all a little dirty sometimes, right bunny?”

You flushed, you liked it when he called you that. 

“I miss you, I’ve been thinking about kissing you all day. I wanna teach you more though, do you want to learn more next time?”

You nodded, slowly as you thought about his words. “You like when I kiss you?”

“Yeah,” you giggled. “Of course I do!”

Yoongi hummed, looking over the nightgown you were wearing. He liked kissing you well enough but he was starting to crave more. It’d been a while since he’d had sex, fantasizing about you while getting off was getting boring. He looked over your crossed legs, a bit upset it was long enough to cover your thighs- he liked them. It was, however, just snug enough to give him a subtle outline of your breasts, your nipples a bit hard grazing the fabric if you moved the right way. “Why’d you stop talking?” You pouted.

“You like my voice?” 

You nodded, “I really like it.”

“Wanna hear me call you pretty some more? How vain of you bunny. That’s a sin” he snickered, “does my voice turn you on?”

“I think so” You grew quieter, taking one headphone out and setting it aside to listen for your mother. 

“Is she still sleeping?”

“I think so.”

“You wanna do something for me, baby?” You nodded eagerly. “Touch yourself for me.” His tone was almost demanding, and needy as he shifted in his seat.

“But I’ve never…I’m not sure.”

“Come on,  try it for me?” Yoongi asked and very slowly you got off of your bed, leaving your phone propped against some pillows as instructed. Yoongi smirked, watching you look around your bedroom and to the door, double-checking the lock and listening for your mother. He was already feeling warm, mouth a bit dry as he looked you up and down. He couldn't help but to slip down his pants and tug at his cock in anticipation. The fact that you were so nervous, anxious that you’d get caught and reprimanded…that cute little nightgown you were wearing. “Just lift your nightgown” he wet his lips, watching you pick at the thin fabric and shyly lift it for him. “That’s it just a little, there you go” he encouraged, eyes glued to your panties. “Not so bad, right?” He smiled, and you let out a nervous, breathy giggle. “Turn around now” he watches you do as told, he hummed “bend over.” He watches you check your door again, a bit hesitant. “Don’t disappoint me now…good girl. Just…” Yoongi ogled over your ass, how the soft white fabric of your panties stretched over it, and how your legs pressed together now and again. “Just touch yourself for me” he finished. You did it for him, snaking a hand between your legs and clumsily playing with yourself. 

“Feels good?” He laughed at the little moans you let out now and again. “Don’t get shy, you’re so cute. Just show off for me baby.”

“You said you wanted to see it” Yoongi bit back a laugh. 

“I know, but…not here.” Your nose scrunched as you took another weary look around the alleyway. “Someone will see.”

“That’s what makes it fun” He grinned. He was feeling himself a little too much after a few drinks in his favorite bar. They wouldn’t ID him, and he knew they wouldn’t ID you. It was across town, too much of a trek for anyone who knew who you were to see. He’d gone through a few beers and some shots with you following him. You didn’t like the beer and refused a second shot, so he rolled his eyes and got you something smoother, fruitier. You were more content sipping on it, kicking your legs off the stool, and begging him to come to see you in the Holiday service on Sunday.

“You want me to come Sunday or not?”

“That’s not fair” you whined. Yoongi shrugged, leaning against the brick wall with his hips jutted out slightly. “Get on your knees for me bunny.” He watched you sink down, complaining when the slosh of rain and snow stained your stockings. “I’ll by you new ones” He assured, watching your brow knit ever so slightly as you fiddled with his belt; loosening it and going for his jeans button. He could feel his throat getting dry, ever since that little show he talked you through a few days ago he had been plagued with thoughts of you nonstop. You pulled his jeans down a bit, looking up at him for reassurance before shyly going for the boxers. He was already hard, it didn't take much from you nowadays. His fingers twitched, he wanted ot grab your hair and go to town, but he tried to take in your wide eyes, cautious little touches, and overall curiosity of it all.

“I don’t know if I should be doing this” Your voice was small, torn as you looked up at him again with a frown. “It feels wrong, I don’t know.”

“It’s okay, it's normal. Lots of girls do it, don’t you want to make me feel good? I made you feel good the other night, it’s only fair.”

"I know you better than you think baby. I know those dirty little sides of you no one else does. You keep saying this is wrong and you shouldn't be doing it…but you’ve been saying for days how you want to please me. Now it’s time. Want me to help you?” He murmured. You nodded, a mix of excitement and nervousness in your stomach as you looked around one last time. He snaked a hand through your hair and guided you closer. His tip grazed your lips, pouty and slick from your lipgloss. Egairly you opened your mouth for him, trying to breathe through the new feeling and anxiety of having him in your mouth for the first time. 

Yoongi on the other hand felt like he could melt then and there. The feeling of your hot mouth against him sent tingles down his spine. “Just suck on it a little, grab the rest with your hand, and stroke it for me, baby.” your hand felt so small and cold against him, it made him shiver. He tugged your head a bit, he couldn’t help it. Your inexperience was too much for him. He loved the clumsiness, the little noise you made as you choked on him, how drool dripped down your chin and stained your blouse. “I know you can take it bunny, tell me if you can’t- fuck” he hissed, “you’re so good for me.”

He came in your mouth- he hadn't planned to but hadn’t been able to help it the moment you peered back up to him. Your face flushed, your eyes wide and teary, still looking at him in adoration. You pulled back, saying something about not liking the taste and wincing when more landed on your face. Yoongi was too immersed in trying to calm down to make some witty remark, he just took a moment to steady his breathing and look down at you. “Sorry,” he was quick to get his pants back up and get down to your level to help clean up. He sighed, watching you pick at your ruined stockings and skirt, “We’ll go to the mall tomorrow, and I’ll try to come to see you Sunday.”

He tried to seem indifferent to the way your face lit up, lunging to hug him. He smiled and took you home.

After taking you to the mall and replacing your clothes, Yoongi felt needier than usual for you. He was ready to take up, ready to steal that innocence away. 

“Stop pretending you don’t want to” Yoongi laughed. “Do you like it?” Yoongi grinned. You squirmed in his lap. He could tell you were trying not to like it, your brow scrunched slightly. When he grabbed your face and made you look at him he could see the concern clouded with lust in your eyes. “I know you like it, stop lying to yourself” He had taken you home for the first time, wasting little time before pulling you to the bedroom for a makeout. 

“I do” you whimper, “but…I’m not supposed to do stuff like this” You frowned, “Not until I get married and-”

“We’re not having sex though, we’re just playing a little, right?” He asked, grabbing your hips tighter, pressing his bulge against you. Your skirt rode up more, your knees pressed into the sofa as he guided you to grind against him. You were starting to get a little bold when you were with him, it was hard not to when he was constantly grabbing at you and saying all the right things to get you worked up. He was ready to take this to the next level- ready to fuck you.

“Come on, fuck yourself against me, baby, you’re already soaked and I’ve barely touched you.” He slipped back into his mindset fast. Your hips moved with his, he could feel the wet spot staining his jeans as you moaned and squeaked in surprise every time he pulled you hard against him. “Want me to fuck you? Seems like it, want me to ruin your insides?” He was into it, into how good your clothed cunt felt against his jeans and hard-on, how red your face was getting and the little beads of nervous sweat forming on your forehead. How your fingers clasped his shirt and nails pinched his skin, how into you seemed to be getting.

“I shouldn’t, but it feels so good” You cried, while Yoongi nearly came at your breathly little whines. 

“it's okay to be dirty like this, it makes you feel good, right? makes you want to cum like a good girl for me?” Yoongi went on, “Or we can stop, you can just pretend we didn’t do anything and go home, is that what you want?” “No” you cried, “It feels good. I wanna cum.” You shyly spoke, quickening your pace as he rutted against you.

“You gonna let me fuck you now?” He had been half serious when he said it, still content with sucking on and leaving hickeys on your shoulder. When you say yes? He felt like his brain short-circuited, he had you on your back in an instant; staring down at you like a hungry animal. Your shirt was unbuttoned, chest flushed and marked up from the groping. You were looking at him through lidded eyes, your legs still pressed together in anticipation as he moved in. 

“Fuck this is so wrong, isn’t it bunny?” Yoongi let out a shaky exhale, “I’ve wanted to do this for so long, god you feel so good.” You were flushed under him, biting back moans and trying to take the pain of the first stretch like a good girl, like you knew he wanted you to. “I’m trying to go slow baby, but fuck…You’ll forgive me if I can’t, right?” He leaned closer to you, peppering kisses over your neck and sucking dark marks on your skin. “Please forgive me, baby, I’m gonna ruin you.” He murmured. He knew you’d never hate him, he knew you’d forgive him for anything he did to you.

taglist: @aft3rhrs

[deliciousbasementtrash]

Playing Nurse for the Batfam

Summary: you are a nurse working for Gotham General Hospital. On your way home from work, you encounter an injured superhero. You have seen his secret identity. Now what will he do about it?

Pairing: Slowburn Jason Todd x reader, (maybe a why choose with Dick Grayson as well?? Idk tell me what you guys want)

Warning: Adult language, verbal abuse, parental abuse, severe injuries

Word Count: 1.5k

Note: These characters are not my own they belong to DC. The only character that is 'mine' is the reader. I am going to be as nondescript as possible for the reader as well for physical attributes. This is a continuation series; I’m not sure how long it will be. Also for some reason, my replies to comments are not showing up. I’m not ignoring your comments Tumblr won’t let me respond :( But please, please comment I live for it 

Part One: Is that Trash or a Man?

There is calm chaos when working in the emergency room. You get used to the cacophony of beeps and alarms. Of moans, crying, screaming, and arguing. You get used to being on your feet all day and moving from task to task, from patient to patient. You get used to it because there is no other option. People need care and they need it now. You either step the fuck up or switch to a different unit. Or move to a calmer, cleaner, less crime-filled city. Calm wasn’t really my vibe. Maybe externally that’s what I portrayed, but internally my mind craves the chaos of the ER. It craves the chaos of Gotham. And the Gotham ER was an entirely different beast.

I finished nursing school about a year ago. A lot of my peers used it as an out. They went to more stable cities in New Jersey that had better funding and less chance of getting knifed in the staff parking lot. I was one of the only ones that stayed. I definitely was the only one that worked in the hospital. I couldn’t deny the demand for nurses was high, and the paychecks were even higher at Gotham General Hospital. And maybe some small pathetic part of my brain wanted to make the world a better place. I wanted Gotham to be a better place. Every day I worked. I convinced myself that how matter how shitty it got; I was making a difference. Even if it was only a handful of people in the grand scheme of things. 

I could convince myself that I mattered. That everyone mattered. That these people deserve more. They deserve better; they deserve a second, third, fourth, fifth chance. If I stopped trying to convince myself of that I know I would give up entirely. Seeing gunshot wounds, stabbings, overdoses, mutilations, burns, crushings, poisonings, beatings, day after day is a lot like erosion of the soul. Little by little it wears you down. You become jaded and jagged with time. Empathy becomes blame. Hope becomes desolate. Love becomes anger. The only thing you can do is gaslight yourself into thinking you’re making a big enough difference. That you’re helping enough people. After all, the brain can’t tell the difference between truth and irony. You tell yourself so many lies, you can start to believe them, right? 

Gotham City: 16 Years Ago 

“Dad, when is mom coming home?” My small voice asked. I was scared to make Dad yell at me again. I didn’t like it when I made him yell.

“She’s got stage four fucking cancer she is coming out of the hospital in a body bag, y/n.” 

I fought the tears that burned behind my eyes. Dad would get even angrier if he saw them. It was stupid of me to even ask. 

I felt him turn to me. His eyes bored into my skull. Quickly, I looked down at his feet. 

“Have you tried again?” He asked. His tone clipped. I knew he expected a timely answer.

Involuntarily, my fingers ruthlessly picked the skin around my nails. The sting was grounding in a way. 

“No, sir. Well yes, I have tried, but I… I failed,” the last word felt like a hot poker being placed through my throat. 

“Look at me.” Breathing became difficult, but I looked up at my father. He leaned his face close to mine. I could smell Jack wafting off him. “What good are you? What good is having healing powers if you can’t heal your sick mother?”

The simple hangnail became a chunk of missing skin. I lowered my head. Fighting back tears. 

“Sir,” my traitorous voice wobbled as I tried not to cry, “I keep trying but… I don’t think my power is that strong. I can close cuts, fix broken bones, but tumors are… hard.”

My father tilted his head back and laughed. Hard. He grabbed my wrist as quickly as a viper, “If I could put your mother’s cancer in you I would. You’re about as useful as a wet match in a dark cave.” 

I couldn’t help the tears that fell down my cheek. It felt like I was involuntarily waving a white flag.

Gotham City: Present Day

I had to be stealthy with my gift. I couldn’t heal every one of the patients to full health right away. That would lead to suspicion. But if I could help it I could stop the major damage. I would heal internal organs. Replenish blood. Reduce ten fractures to two or one. It all depended on timing and if people were watching me. 

I was walking home from the hospital. I only lived about three blocks away. I got off shift at around 20:49. I didn’t start my next stretch for another three days. And I was milking my walk home. Stopping to smell the roses or whatever. That is normally not a very smart thing to do in Gotham at night, especially as a woman. But part of me didn’t care. 

Earlier, I looked at my phone and frowned when I realized the date. 

Thursday, May 19th. 

My mom died 16 years ago today. Waves of emotion flooded my senses. Anger at myself for not remembering. Sadness that she had been gone more of my life than she had been in it. Restlessness for what my father might do or say. Some years he likes to reach out. Others he doesn’t. But most of all I was feeling reckless. Like I wanted someone to give me a reason. Obviously, I would only hurt someone to defend myself or others. But there was so much anger living in my body, part of me hoped some idiot would try something with me tonight. 

So, I walked home. Slowly. 

Normally, you keep your head down and you keep moving. You don’t look or gawk. You listen out of necessity. I was listening just because I could. It was the normal stuff. Men smoking cigarettes and catcalling. Women were offering their nightly services. Random people either praising or damning superheroes. Drug deals. Graffiti artists. Fights. And of course, people who simply were walking home from work. Gotham had range and was never boring that’s for sure. 

But something picked up on the very edge of my senses. Despite my better logic, I turned toward the very quiet sound. It could have just been rats, but it sounded so familiar. It sounded like a death rattle. The thing you hear just before shit hits the fan and the patient codes. 

Without thinking I ran down the alley toward the sound. At first, it was nothing. Just trash and rats. But then I saw it. He almost blended perfectly in with the shiny black garbage bags. His cape was the same color but reflected the light less. 

“Sir? Sir, are you alright?” I walked hesitantly forward, grabbing my pepper spray just in case.

The man did not answer, he only garbled and coughed. My work brain took over my fear. Instantly I rolled the man over and began assessing him. I suppressed a gasp when I rolled him over and a familiar cowl mask came into view. It was cracked down the middle. His face was bleeding from an unknown location. His breathing was labored and staggered. 

Calmly, I closed my eyes and pressed my hands against his chest. 

Oh yeah. Batman was dying. He had several broken ribs. A pneumothorax. A bruised liver, kidney, and pancreas. His cardiac output was a joke. The man had no perfusion. 

I didn’t think. I didn’t hold back like I do at the hospital. I just healed. And healed. And healed. I healed him down to his bone-on-bone knees, sprained ankle, and fractured wrist. 

God, this guy had a lot of injuries. 

I was close to passing out by the time I was done. I had done too much, ate, and slept too little. My powers were demanding when it came to energy. If I didn’t eat or sleep within 30 minutes I was about to pass out next to bat boy himself.

I gave him one last assessment. After double-checking that he would live and that I didn’t miss anything I finally looked at his face again. 

This time I gasped. Batman was the billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne? I shook my head like I was clearing cobwebs. I didn’t have time to dwell on it. Much like Batman, I didn’t want people to know what I could do. The last time people knew…

Just as I turned and took a few steps I rolled my eyes at my nagging thoughts. 

What if someone sees him before he wakes up?

Reaching into my tote bag I pulled out a black medical mask. I not so gracefully MacGyvered it across his exposed face so that it was covered. And with that, I made my way home.

My cat, Hashbrown, eagerly greeted me at the door. I nearly fell asleep locking it. I bent down to pick her up and gave her a kiss on her perfect little cat head. I ripped my gross work scrubs off, threw them in the wash, and crashed on the couch in my underwear before my brain could process what happened.

I healed Batman. 

I healed… Bruce Wayne?

Part Two, Part Three

[lordsukunas]

“i think forever would be nice with you.”

synop. kunigami wants to be with you for life.

tags. fem!reader (called ma’am once), fluff fluff fluff, uh a bit of angst if u really really really squint, reader is a tease and kind of a pessimist (or maybe a realistic idk up to u), kunigami is head over heels, dont ask when this would happen in canon bc idk, not proofread

note. ngl im tired asf... if this is incoherent, im sorry. the ending is vv awkward, mb. uhhhh man idk what else to say kunigami is the sweetest boy alive. this is inspired by one of those timtok slideshows, the one thing that app has done good forme

you flop back on the sand, chest heaving up and down from trying (and failing) to race kunigami. sweat rolls down the side of your face and neck, and you can feel the gritty sand clinging to your bare feet and legs.

“tired?” he plops down on the sand beside you and reaches for your hand. his larger, thicker fingers intertwine with yours, and he gives your hand a gentle squeeze, as if to comfort you after your shameful loss.

“very,” you huff out. your lungs burn as you gulp down air. “how do you— how do you do this every week?”

he shrugs. “habit. started when i was kid, found it fun, so i kept doing it. helps me stay in shape whenever i don’t wanna go to the gym or just need some time alone.”

his free finger doodles the face of a polar bear in the sand. you smile — it’s cute how he knows how to draw that from memory.

your eyes roll to look at him. his face is shiny with sweat, and the pale moonlight softens his features, giving kunigami almost a boyish look.

there’s no one else here. just you, kunigami, and the sounds of the waves lapping against each other and the shore. the beach is clean, too. not a crumpled beer can or a plastic wrapper in sight.

“does anyone else even know this place exists?” there’s that familiar teasing lilt in your voice, but he knows you’re serious.

he scratches the back of his head. “nah. i mean, there’s the occasional fisherman or maybe some elderly couple, but i don’t think anyone our age knows about this.”

“huh.”

a pause, and the warm breeze blows across your skin, dusting the sand away.

you grin. “so you’re just gonna gatekeep this for eternity, huh?”

“what? no!” you can practically feel his cheeks heating up from here. “i didn’t wanna ruin it by bringing the wrong people here, y’know? they might trash it or somethin’.”

“and what if i trash it?”

“you won’t.” kunigami’s reply is instant, the words shooting out of his mouth and into the night’s atmosphere. “you’re special.”

whatever goofy reply you had on your tongue instantly melts, and you’re pretty sure your heart skips a beat or two. how can he say such romantic things so... so casually?

“i, uh...” he sighs and goes back to tracing shapes in the sand, his hand still holding on tightly to yours. “you wouldn’t do something like that. even if you did, i’ll be right there to clean it up.”

you push yourself up so that you’re sitting criss-cross. your entire body is facing him now. “but what if we break up? or you move away?”

“i won’t. we won’t.”

your brows knit together. “rensuke, you don’t know that.”

something is bound to happen. something always happens. nothing good lasts forever, right? he’s in blue lock, dedicating weeks at a time to train and play in tournaments to be the world’s best striker — at some point, he’s going to have to choose. you or his football career.

even to yourself, you sound pessimistic. but you just have to be honest with yourself. life isn’t a fairytale, despite kunigami being your knight in shining armor.

“i want forever with you.”

his gaze meets yours, determination burning in auburn irises. “i’m not gonna sit here and lie to you or be embarrassed about it, ‘cause it’s true.”

you blink, and it feels like all the air has been sucked out of your lungs.

kunigami, your boyfriend of two years, wants forever with you.

it’s ridiculous, fantastical, a hundred other synonymous terms. both of you are seventeen — you have decades and decades ahead of you to decide when you want and who you’re going to spend forever with.

and he chose you.

his adam’s apple bobs, but his gaze doesn’t waver. “do you want forever with me?” his grip on your hand tightens.

“yeah.”

you don’t have to think about it. there’s nothing to think about it. it’s dumb and unrealistic, sure, but when has kunigami ever broken a promise? when has he ever lied to you?

it doesn’t take decades of being together to know that kunigami loves you with all of his heart, and you love him just the same.

your lips curl into a smile, and you can’t tell whether your vision is getting blurry from happy or sad tears. “i want forever with you.”

“okay.” he adjusts himself so that, now, both of you are facing each other. his shins touch yours, and his other hand grabs yours.

“‘okay’? that’s it? after you basically just proposed to me?” you raise an eyebrow. “with no ring, either! you could’ve gotten me a ring pop.”

kunigami chuckles, the tension seeping out of his bulky form. “sorry. i’ll get you a ring pop on the way back.”

“two ring pops, actually, and they better be the right flavor.”

“yes, ma’am.”

[redishflavor]

if you saw the other one no you didn't

someone's John dory ask got eaten and I can't find my previous draft on it 😔

A/N -> I'll be starting school soon again so I won't be able to write as many fanfics as right now, but still send it requests! I just won't be able to publish them as fast as before 😅

but anyways (this is way longer than my last one damn)

John dory x reader headcanons

okay let's get one thing straight

this man has been in the wild for over idk how many years

he probably is secretly touch starved

and he's probably really bad at flirting

let's say this is after the events of TBT, so he's back in society again (probably)

hes bumped into you a few times and during those few times it was just some small talk here and there

but then when he bumped into you again he decided to flirt

with a terrible pick up line

after he said that he gave a look that was like "Yep, still got it"

he does not got it

you just looked at him, looked away and snorted

he thinks it's working

it might be

without him asking, you gave him your number on a peice of paper

there was a small not under the number (yall choose idk what to put) with a small heart at the end

(ur stinky but funny ❤️) (I sorry I had to😭😭)

he didn't read the note, he js put it on his wall in a frame

he was the first to text you

just a simple "Hi this is John dory"

and you know how some people type something but not send it?

he did that

"PLEASE PLEASE DATE ME 🙏🙏" then he deleted it to respond 'normally' to your text

after a few weeks of talking to each other you were the first to ask if he wanted to go on a date

he probably has never responded so fast to someone on his life

I js had to add this but he probably lost his other glove bc Rhonda ate it

anyways back on track

the first date you two went on was at a small Cafe (idk I panicked😭)

you two talked about a hunch of stuff but then settled on the topic of bands

one of your favorite band was BroZone

his eyes visibly lit up at the word BroZone

asks a bunch on questions like "who's your favorite band member" or "what's you favorite song"

takes his SWEET TIME telling you he's THE John Dory from BroZone

so many questions from both him and you

but after that date he offers to walk you home

and that's also how he got your address

a few more dates later he's the one to make the first move

a small text saying to meet him up at the Cafe they had their first date in

hes already there looking a bit flustered

after you two sit down he asks if you want to date

and that's how yall start dating (I am so sleepy rn guys)

every now and then he would send small gifts to you like flowers, candies, anything that reminds him of you at almost any store he goes to

he likes compliments, both giving and receiving them

when he's spending the day at your place he likes to cuddle with you

or hold you in any way

hug, hand holding, any touch basically

LOVES when you kiss him

like pepper him with kisses and he's melting

grab a bucket and mop he's gone

when he first introduced you to his brothers they had many questions

when Poppy met you (probably through Branch)

you two both bonded over dating a member of brozone

as you and Poppy were fangirling over them JD just looked at you lovingly

like he almost forgot his brothers were there

he loves you too much

he also gets you free tickets and backstage passes to every single one of BroZone's concerts

you've never missed a single concert

and you have way to much merch (mostly JD's merch) (and it's signed with his signature)

I think I might end it here bc I'm running out of ideas and any longer to post this would end up taking longer to post because school starts in like 2 says for me 😭😭 anyways I hope this was good for whoever asked this and again so sorry I lost your ask! I hope you have a great day/night!!

[windvexer]

I asked that question about the consecrate thing because I read in a magician blog that you should always clean and consecrate the tarot card before using it because otherwise some bad stuff might get attached to you specially if you're doing reading for other people but I also saw people saying this isn't true so Idk

The problem with magic is that there are lots of kinds of it, and some of the kinds are mutually exclusive.

If one guy says, "I have personally experienced Bad Stuff getting attached to me specifically because I didn't use a consecrated tarot deck, and this problem was solved once I started performing cleansing and consecration rituals before every reading," then I'm not going to argue with him.

But I've also been reading tarot for almost 16 years, I don't consecrate most of my decks, and while I've had weird and unwanted spirit encounters while reading for others, it's not something that's destined to happen.

In fact, in my opinion, if "bad stuff getting attached" is likely to happen to a person when they read tarot, something is wrong with that situation beyond a grimy, profane tarot deck.

One reason for such difference of opinion is worldview. When I started practicing magic, I was much more worried about harmful entities getting attached to me. This is because I was raised as a Christian inside of a church that placed heavy emphasis on how many evil spirits and demons were in the world. In the Church, I was taught that every single god or spirit outside of the Holy Trinity was actually a powerful demon in disguise, waiting to trick you into selling your soul to Satan.

Even when I later decided to change my beliefs and start practicing magic, it was very hard to shake the feeling that everything spiritual was very dangerous and evil, and that if I didn't constantly take special actions to protect myself, then bad things would happen to me.

But, the more practice and experience I've accumulated, the more I've moved away from this mindset and come to believe that it isn't true. I don't cleanse and consecrate my cards before I read because I do not believe that I live in a world where it is likely that bad stuff might get attached to me because I do readings.

There could also be a practical difference. If you do lots of readings for spirit workers, or people already dealing with hauntings or bad spirit encounters, then I believe that it's more likely that a tarot reader can make unintentional spirit contact. But that doesn't mean it's possible for the spirit to "attach" itself to the tarot reader, and that doesn't mean the spirit wants to attach itself to the tarot reader.

Maybe it's possible that the person who always cleanses and consecrates their cards is working with a lot of tarot readings that specifically seek information on harmful spirits who are likely to hurt those who "spy" on them.

In addition, I'm a spirit worker and a witch. I have the capacity to deal with encountering bad stuff and dealing with bad stuff. If something negative did try to "get me" through a tarot reading, I can deal with it and resolve the situation. Because of my faith and practice, I believe I have protective spirits around me who help me with these things. I also believe that I have the power to magically protect my home so that when I do divination, bad stuff is already kept at bay, regardless of what I do with the deck of cards.

Maybe that other person is taking action according to a worldview that bad things are likely to happen if they read tarot. Maybe they're often doing "risky" readings that intentionally seek out "bad stuff." Maybe they're choosing to use an abundance of caution. Maybe their magical tradition requires or recommends these extra steps, so that's why they espouse them.

But if that person is saying that all people need to always cleanse and consecrate their decks and always take special protective steps, I disagree. I don't think that's how the world works, and in my experience, that's not how it works.

[imperiuswrecked]

...

Idk how to express the anger I feel at the entitlement of people who don't live in Palestine & Lebanon saying to Palestinian & Lebanese people to "Just move. Just leave the "war zone" genocide. Go somewhere safer." Like. It's so entitled. Its assuming that every single one of these people have enough money to pack up their entire lives and move their entire families to some country that's not theirs, and live in a place that's far away from their homes, homes and land their families have lived on for hundreds if not thousands of years. It's assuming these families have papers or passports to be able to go to any country of their choosing and get jobs and live life like normal, instead of ending up as refugees in refugee camps where conditions are horrible. It's assuming every one of them is healthy and able to "just leave", and it's assuming it's their fault they are not leaving, and it's their fault that Israel is killing them.

They shouldn't have to "just leave somewhere safer". Israel needs to stop their genocide. They don't want to leave.

[thasorns-moved]

tag game ✨

I got tagged a long time ago by a mutual who went private... it's friday night and look at that I HAVE some time to do it :)

1. why did you choose your url?

just look at Emi and then we can talk again. Have you seen her? <3

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

juhotonin - is a kpop blog (even though I neglected it a bit)

alexreggies - yes, sometimes I reblog different things on this (thasorns) blog but this one is specifically for western things

kaiosmichiru - anime

I have another one where I only post gifs but never told anyone about it

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

probably since 2009. I used to have another blog but moved to my current one in 2012

4. do you have a queue tag?

used to have # queue to my life, # queueing things bc its quarantine things but now I'm just using q. bc I’ve become lazy

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

before this blog I was a dedicated fanblog about marko marin and sideblog was very multifandom and then I moved and stayed multifandom 

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

buttercup is THE mvp

7. why did you choose your header?

a tale of thousand stars do I need to say more (if you didn't watched it, THEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE)

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

this, mind that I was a beginner in gif making and you can see that in this 

9. how many mutuals do you have?

maybe I forgot one or two but the last count was 79 love you all 💕

10. how many followers do you have?

 more than i would expect and deserve but I appreciate every each one of you 🥰

11. how many people do you follow?

I'm surprised that after 12 years I don't follow more but I also go on a unfollow spree sometime anyway it's 372 people

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

no. don't think so. I used to say a lot about shows I watch. does this count as a shitpost? Idk

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

is that really a question? like? every day

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

no i'm staying in my bubble and be happy

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts

i dont do it to be oppositional 

16. do you like tag games?

even though I try to participate as much as I can and not forgot about it I'll do it because they're fun and it's nice to see other perspectives or opinions on things

17. do you like ask games?

I rarely do it because I think no one would send me asks

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

the first which comes to mind is sabrina @moonkhao

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

what does crush even mean?

claire @clairedaring @poomphuripan is such a cutie. The way she does so much for the msi community but at the same time highlights other lakorns and find the strength and time to gif it, so other ppl on here could watch it. always so nice and patient ❤️

an honorable mention: cata @kittychicha because I would've never thought that we would become friends and talk on a regular basis about everything and it is fun and lovely to talk with you and get to know you 🧡

Another honorable mention would be vish @morkofday because have you met her? Her mind is already enough. The way she thinks and sees things in perspectives - a reason to fall in love. Not even joking. Our dead friend forever days were precious for me 💕

20. tags?

@morkofday @itsallaboutbl @clairedaring @pondsphuwin @patchanons @milkpansa @kittychicha @jimmysea @loveisactivated

[blush-and-books]

OH HEY IT’S ME

ok do u think darvey are codependent? I ALWAYS SEE PPL SAY THAT AND I ALWAYS THOUGHT THEY WERE BUT NOW IM LIKE IDK??

Re: this post I made about darvey codependency accusations

While I understand the mindset that they're codependent, I really don't think they embody what codependence actually is. Codependence is when you have like, an unhealthy psychological level of dependency on another person or on each other. When people are codependent, they can lose their sense of identity and become reliant on their ways of thinking and feeling being sourced from someone else.

Donna and Harvey are insanely close friends who have canonically been close for over twelve years, that's not codependence, but that's love. Their values and needs in life (loyalty and stability) have aligned with each other to the point where they choose to stay partners every day because they've proven to one another that they're the right fit. They're just each other's person. Duh, they're going to stick together, because they fulfill each other's needs.

Harvey did have panic attacks when Donna left, which does indicate a bit of an unhealthy attachment to her, but fuck, I can't imagine losing my best friend now and knowing it was my fault and she didn't want anything to do with me. It would tear a hole in my chest. That's not codependence, that's love, and the guilt that fills the space they leave open in their absence.

Bottom line is, they both have identities outside of each other and feelings they aren't attached to how the other is feeling. Donna helps Harvey work out his own feelings, she doesn't project her own feelings onto him. While Donna definitely felt like working alongside Harvey for so long became a part of her identity, once again it wasn't a loss of identity to Harvey, it was him becoming a part of her and her considering him a major factor in her life. When it came down to it, she was able to sever herself from him and their working relationship in order to balance her emotions again and move on, where they both worked back to a place of partnership.

Anyways, this is just my opinion, and I think it's easy to look at them and be like oh yeah they're extremely codependent. I think there's arguments on both sides, I'm in a grey area, but this is just some food for thought😘

Also I always love seeing you in my inbox!!!!! So much joy always!!!!!! 💞💞💞

[riacte]

RIA I AM GNAWING at the bars of my enclosure, I just finished the last few chapters and JSHDHDHHDJWJWHE <- insane insane insane. I’m going insane. I think this fic has one of the most satisfying conclusions I’ve ever read before like the final battle was SO COOL ?!? Epistolary fics have their limitations yeah but it’s SUCH an immersive storytelling like man I really did feel like I was in a live stream watching the combined forces of hero’s and villains and rebels take down the mayor. And MAN,,, that baletach scene after the dusts clears and he removes his helmet and the shadows surround them was so soft (that turn of phrase is detonating the 2018 cringe meter in my mind but I cannot think of a better way to describe it). I love how although there’s a happy ending, there’s still doubt for what could come in the future, idk it just feels like I’m peering into the social media of some distant city overbroad and feeling wildly confuse. I also LOVE the implication that Freth is like the New York of London of this world with the whole freth-centricism that’s such cool world building. I’m really curious to know whether there’s other cities being plagued with mutants too? Are their heroes elsewhere or is this like a Gotham city where one particular area is just prone to these magical things happening? Anyways so excited to see what more of this universe you’re going to explore :D

HAI HAI thanks for reading! 🥺🥺 I'm glad you like the ending, I was afraid it was gonna a bit too much whiplash from overthrowing the gov -> school setting (while I was writing the fic I felt like it was bouncing between tone every chapter). And I looove calling things/people soft like it's very 🥺🥺

"I love how although there’s a happy ending, there’s still doubt for what could come in the future" SO glad it came out this way for you, this was the tone I wanted. I worked backwards from the Blue Bats arc and wanted a mix of hope/chaos/recovery/uncertainty/but still hope for Lyra and Ben :)

The Frethcentricism was mostly me making a jab at how USA-centric the Anglosphere Internet feels at times 😭 but I would imagine the constant superhero/Mutant news gets aggravating for people who don't care. And it's like Spopera where I get to play pretend and choose which topics are culturally dominant. Freth is an important trade/finance/logistics hub. I can imagine it was historically important due to its location (being on the coast of a continent), then the Mutants appeared, the industries panicked and moved away, but then the heroes showed up, hence Freth had good security and low crime rates in its golden years. Its special status would probably grant it more autonomy from whatever country it belongs to— or perhaps it's a city-state/ in the process of becoming one. I imagine the lack of government transparency + crackdown on civilian protests + startling massacre of heroes pushed away those industries, hence the new gov has to incentivize them to come back.

There is definitely something "magical" about the area itself. Natural Mutants still spawn and will probably come back even if the heroes kill them all (rip LFSA, you were too optimistic about Mutant eradication). Kids from civilian families (eg. Ben) can develop powers out of blue thanks to the "magic". The "magic" doesn't abide by political borders so it's possible for kids in neighbouring areas to develop powers, which leads to conflict because Freth is obliged to take in everyone with powers, but the kid doesn't belong to Freth.

This universe has been bouncing around in my head for quite some time and I feel there's a lot to explore. Lyra's parents being a power couple, Reina's parents, the 826 graduates defecting, Mirage and co backstory, etc etc. I don't know everything lmao and I'm kind of waiting for things to slot into place. I think this universe is addicting because I Don't Know a lot of things but then I start writing and the characters/plot/world reveals itself? If it makes sense? So it makes me really excited to write because yippeeee I'm discovering more about this world :D (and if I don't like something I can just retcon it later lmao)

Thanks for the ask <3

[monomothsstuff]

I am back with an AU I really like the idea of :D

Similar to a previous post on what if after the dbk battle Monkey becomes invisible.

Wukong becomes invisible after his fight with DBK, it starts slowly. First, his hands were a bit translucent that you could see through it but not noticeable enough if you were to see him from afar. At first, it kind of freaked him out because, how the hell was he fading away? Sure those days felt like he should not be seen, days where he shouldn't even be known. Even his monkeys were worried they tried to help in every way they could but sometimes(most of the time) it didn't help.

Eventually, it got worse, from his translucent hands becoming transparent there was nothing that worked. He tried to get back to being opaque but nothing seemed to work, not even the grooming sessions on ffm, as he slowly turned invisible, his chatty attitude seemed to also turn invisible. He would talk less, but if called for help, he'd do his best to help but he wouldn't talk as much as he would before. In about 100 years he's become fully invisible. Some of the immortal monkeys remember what he looked like before but the mortal monkeys would have a little myth that their king is their guardian angel they can't see but would always help out around the mountains.

Yes, even if Wukong is invisible he still tries his best to take care of the mountain as much as he can. It wasn't until he felt Mk's aura, that he felt a familiar pull toward him.

Because Monkey King was already invisible, he didn't see the need to actually transform into different animals to blend in and could shape-shift himself to size to fit in spaces. He watches Mk from afar, though invisible he is still tangible(idk if that's the right word but basically you can still feel some kind of silhouette if you were to touch Wukong), he orders noodles in obscure places if he can't bring himself to eat food from his home. But also because Pigsy's noodles are always so good with their vegetarian meals.

When Mk got the staff and went to FFM, there was a letter from Monkey King to the Monkie kid. The contents of the letter were similar to what he said in season 1 but it's like Mk still can't believe that Monkey King has been in hiding for so long. Wukong still chooses Mk as his successor of course, but Mk invites Wukong to come with him to Pigsy's, despite not being able to see him, he hopes that Wukong knows that Mk's family is always open for people to come by.

If we were to think about how Monkey King would go about teaching MK, I think he would do something similar with S2, remote lessons, and whatnot. Mk is actually quite smart and would have noticed some things have moved from one place to another. Things that didn't seem something the monkeys from ffm could carry by themselves.

[monstersinthecosmos]

so idk if you've talked about this before but i was thinking about how some of your sheith fics take place in the same sort of headcanon universe where keith and shiro first got together when shiro was actually kuron and ttsr! majorly diverges from that! i love the flavor of both possibilities LOL but i'm just wondering in what ways this timeline difference changes how you view/choose to portray their relationship in each scenario! and i don't think we'll get that far in ttsr! (I'M SCARED TBF) but just in your mind palace i also wonder how you think it plays out when shiro comes back as a clone! does kuron even know they're a thing? does keith notice any differences in how he acts? IS HE FREAKIER AND MEANER IN BED LOL? sorry i feel like i send you so many asks abouy ttsr! BUT I GENUINELY THINK ABOUT IT EVERY DAY LMAO. literally it's the sacred texts!!!!

Fgkjfdlg OMG I haven’t actually talked about this at length before because a lot of people don’t notice or don’t comment on it and I don't think anyone has ever asked! 😊

(This is going to contain some mild spoilers for my fics but THE CLUES ARE ALL THERE if you’ve read them before! Proceed with caution!)

SO YEAH LIKE. Not ALL of my Sheith fics fit these two timelines but I have a few versions of how Sheith hooked up that all live in harmony in my mind so sometimes I draw on these and it’s fun to play with them by adding more at different points in time or from different points of view.

One of them is STAR EATER timeline which started with Star Eater and includes Zero Hour and another fic called The Alternative that I wrote for a zine but I haven’t posted it on AO3 because tbh the zine process upset me so much that I don’t want to look at it anymore to make it AO3 ready lol.

The other is TONIGHT THE STARS REVOLT timeline which includes TTSR -> Minuit -> and the Femsheith fic as we circle the moon which is FEMSHEITH TTSR. (This is the order they were posted in, but chronologically it would be TTSR -> as we circle the moon -> Minuit).

And like, when I first started writing Sheith fic, I’d just spent like 2 years writing VC fic full time, and for the most part I try to keep all my VC fics in the same timeline. Mostly just for fun! It’s become like a creative challenge to me to like keep continuity between fics or hide Easter eggs. So I had written Star Eater as my first Sheith fic and then when I wrote Zero Hour I just thought it would be fun to keep it in the same timeline the way I do with VC. But idk I feel a lot freer writing Sheith than I do VC so it was also inspiring to branch out and not stick to the same formula every time.

Something about Sheith too is there’s SUCH a wealth of fic in the fandom and we’ve read so many hundreds of versions of them as a couple and how they got together and everything and like, you gotta understand that I have like 100 fic ideas on deck at all times and I know I don’t have time to write all of them, so I tend to like weed out ideas to prioritize and budget time for if I think I can say something interesting and maybe subvert some of the common fandom tropes. So yes sure, Sheith are soulmates, yada yada, but WHAT IF THEY WERE FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS AND IT WAS AWKWARD ! Or WHAT IF SHIRO NEVER MADE A MOVE UNTIL IT WAS KURON DRIVING BECAUSE KURON WAS LESS INHIBITIED? Listen I’m a slut for angst, too, so like. I’m not really good at writing fluff and it’s not my first choice as a reader, either, so I wanna ask, like sure yada yada soulmates but what if it hurt, or what if it was messy? How can we make this dark and fucked up? Lol

So these two premises are like, places I’ve put a lot of thought, and I think a lot about how that affects their relationship long term and what it says about them. And I think they offer a different flavor, so when I have an idea or I’m in a certain mood, sometimes I think “this would be really nice in whichever timeline.” And a few of my fics they hook up after the war, too! So it really depends like what flavor I’m going for that day and how badly I want to traumatize Keith LOL

But for example, like, TTSR was born in my brain as like misc smut prompts but I thought “It would be subversive if they were FWB" because at the time I never saw canonverse fics where they were FWB, I’d only seen it in AUs. And then when I wrote Minuit it was for the prompt party and my prompt was about Keith nursing Shiro to health after he gets his body back, and I WANTED it to be crampy and uncomfortable and awkward, and I WANTED Shiro to feel guilty and self conscious, and so I thought setting it in TTSR timeline would add to it because it adds that element of like, IS THIS TOO INTIMATE? IS IT TOO SERIOUS? It also includes some flashbacks to when Kuron first shows up, and how he and Keith navigated being around each other, but his memory is sort of fuzzy and he’s disoriented.

I REALLY love thinking about the sort of like, dubcon aspects of Keith fucking Kuron, too, because neither of them are truuuuuuuly consenting. Keithisn't fucking the person he thinks he's fucking, and later on Shiro is bound to be kinda violated knowing that his identity was stolen for it. And would Kuron want to fuck Keith if the Galra wasn't telling him to? I also like the idea that Kuron is not a perfect copy, and maybe he’s bolder, maybe he’s more aggressive, etc. So maybe he did make moves that Shiro didn’t, and Shiro comes back and can’t believe what went on while he was gone. In Star Eater universe it’s sex and in TTSR universe it’s the ilu confession. It's quite violating to everyone involved!

And in both universes I’ve tried to float the idea that Keith could tell something was wrong, or different, but he just assumed it was The Trauma ™. Like Shiro comes back a little bit off, he’s getting migraines, and Keith GETS IT. Keith has also (canonically) made Shiro’s safety his own responsibility, so I wonder if he feels so guilty that he fucked up that he’s not going to push on it. In Zero Hour this takes the shape of Keith not wanting to talk about Kuron at all to real Shiro because he feels so fucking embarrassed that he didn’t notice, and in as we circle the moon (s)he’s struggling the entire time trying to figure out if Shiro needs space to get better or if this is going to be the new normal and how tough the love should be.

One of the reasons re: Kuron why I decided I wanted a clean slate after Zero Hour too is that I kind of regretted the way I interpreted the Kuron lore when I wrote Zero Hour; canon is a little bit unclear about how it works and whether or not Kuron is “dead” or gone from the body. I decided afterwards that I liked the idea of them having to share the space and sort of integrating with each other, which is why I wrote it differently in Minuit. In Star Eater timeline, Kuron’s entire personality is basically AI programmed on what the Galra could map of Shiro’s brain, and WITHOUT GETTING INTO JUNK SCIENCE EXCUSES FOR THE WHY, I just thought maybe it might leave sort of “impressions” in the body, which is why Shiro can sense residual, disjointed memories. I imagined these things like imprints or phantom sensation in his brain, perhaps in the vein of epigenetic trauma.

But in TTSR/Minuit timeline, Shiro is in there WITH HIM and it’s a matter of trying to cooperate who’s in the driver’s seat. I haven’t written this further but I imagine that Real Shiro will one day simply become New Shiro which is him and Kuron sort of integrated as one person; this is why I wrote the scene about him dreaming about a cherished childhood memory except that he’s inserted a twin into it. He will learn to share and accept that Kuron has all his same memories and his own soul, whatever that means.

AND TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS LOL SORRY FOR MEANDERING but I do imagine Kuron being freakier and meaner LOL. Is this grounded in canon or am I making excuses to be kinky? Reader’s choice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can justify it by, again, asking if the Galra made an imperfect copy. Because like he IS different! The show communicates this to us by the subtle changes to his character design. And I think about like, the Galra designing him and programming him for a purpose, which is GET CLOSE TO THE RED PALADIN, and I wonder how that might push him in areas where Shiro would’ve been more reserved.

And like what might the Galra get wrong about human psychology and American culture? WHAT ARE GALRA MATING RITUALS? As the BIG BADDIES of canon they come off as being aggressors—even Lotor, who believed he was acting for a greater good, was committing atrocities LOL—so how does that change when they try to build a human personality and human intention? WHAT IF IT’S LIKE JURASSIC PARK WHERE THEY PATCH DNA GAPS WITH GALRA SO KURON IS LIKE AN ALPHA OR SOMETHING HAHA. But no really like what if he’s more virile, what if he’s more confident, what if everything he does is based on some soul-crushing subconscious instinct to BE CLOSE TO KEITH at any cost!!!

These ideas take many forms in my mind, which is why I need multiple versions with multiple answers LOL.

But TTSR Kuron knows they’re a thing, because I think the Galra were sort of downloading/studying Shiro’s consciousness through his arm the entire time he was alive, right? So up until the very end he’d have Shiro’s memories. He will know they hooked up, and he will know how Shiro felt about it. In as we circle the moon (s)he breaks the ILU to Keith in the pilot’s log because she thinks she’s dying and her entire soul is crushed that she never saw her relationship with Keith through, not just for the half of her that shares Shiro’s feelings but also the other half that exists solely to get to Keith.

Star Eater Kuron knows that Shiro has been pining for a while and is the one who is brave enough to make a move!

ANYWAY THIS WAS QUITE LONG AND RAMBLING but I hope I answered your questions LOL.

I think TTSR exists as a trilogy in my mind, and I hope that the huge gaps between updates don’t leave anyone DYING because I’m going to follow canon so there's not a huge mystery where it will go. You can also get an idea of where they’re going by stitching clues together from the other fics. I have no idea if or when I’ll find time to WRITE A WHOLE TRILOGY (please just let me finish TTSR first LMFAO) but I always imagined TTSR ending around when Shiro dies, the middle fic being about Kuron, and the third as the post-S7 story that I have to make up myself because I don’t accept S8 LOL.

MAKE OF THAT WHAT YOU WILL but that’s basically the questions I ask about these guys and how it informs where fics go and if I’m in one mood or another or think one timeline or the other will serve a story I want to tell, I’ll set it there!

and OMG don't apologize for sending Sheith asks, I think all this stuff is like bursting at the seams of my brain and I'm always happy to yell about it!!!

[mackmp3]

Out of the ineffable husbands,which one is your fave?. Aziraphale or crowley?. Also what are your headcanons on their relationship?.

:0 a good omens ask!!! hehe thank you :)

ough how could i choose?? i love them both <33 but i'm going to have to say crowley is my favourite ahhhh i just love himmmmmmm <3. i think he's my favourite because the way he shows his love for aziraphale is just so sweet, and like me he's a massive dork who is trying to be cool :)

my hcs for them - relationship-wise i think they are alloace, it just makes the most sense to me. once they (eventually) have a Talk About Feelings and realise they're both deeply in love with each other, they'll definitely be romantic and sensual and queer platonic and everything, but i just... don't see them actually *sleeping together* no. sleeping together yes 100% but *sleeping together* no. i think they would both make the effort if they wanted to but i don't think they'd want to and i have literally no justification why i think this but yeah <3

crowley at least is demi in my mind, aziraphale i can imagine occasionally having a bit of a pash on someone else but only for like. until he remembers crowley is there lol. asjnasjnasnja they love each other so muchhhhhhhh

i think they *almost* kissed in 1941. almost. like so close they wondered afterwards if maybe they did. or it was the most gentle barest brush of a kiss and afterwards they wondered if maybe they didn't. (which gives me a fic ideaaaaa ooughhhhhhhh).

i also think they have been meeting very regularly since rome - every few years at first, then every few months, until pre-s2 when they're practically living together. only seeing each other in the flashbacks we're shown just doesn't make sense. even just in 1601 when crowley says 'we've done it before, dozens of times now' about the arrangement, and yeah it has been 900 years since wessex, but i can imagine aziraphale took A Lot of convincing to get to the arrangement in the first place, plus meeting up just for lunch and hanging out & other stuff. i don't think crowley was dragged to hell for 30 years after 1827 either. 'last month crowley and i etc' 'and that was the last of him i was to see of crowley for quite some time *past tense, he's seen crowley since, that makes it like. just under two months max*' like. idk how exactly people think they got to this stage in their relationship based on a handful of meetings in the last 300 years but ok all hcs are valid :)

and, i think aziraphale is far more aware of his feelings than crowley is, even though he hides in under layers of denial & repression. he knows *exactly* the depth of love he feels for crowley and would do anything to be able to show it, but is still scared that it's wrong and that he *shouldn't* feel that way - but he knows he does. crowley is more along the lines of, he feels the feelings but doesn't stop to examine them as much. like he does examine his feelings, but in his view how aziraphale is feeling is more important than how he, crowley, feels, so he doesn't ponder it as much. ahhhhhhhhhasjanksn they just need to sit down and talk to each other. and then hug. and then properly move in together lol <3

[nwarrior777]

the conversation

(just scroll to the end of the post if you want some blog news and not philosophy from blog author in a little strange life... place?)

upd: no, let's do vise-versa - here is the news, and if you want some philosophy open under the cut

The news is here:

life: is this your way to tell followers that you are not sure about timing and days and in general of your online and art posting for next week(s)?

me: yeah. :)

life: FUCK OFF-

me: omg i found piece. idk why but i feel calm. i feel no fear. i am so confident

life: get out from the flat and take your things, you have 1 day :)

me: lol ok

life: .....wh-....? "lol" "ok"?

me: yeah

life: "yeah"?

me: you will just repeat shit after me or what

life: i mean it was supposed to be like. a test

me: mmmm. maybe? but idk. more of a like. a situation

life: stop talking like that you little shit, i am trying to scare you!

me: if you will do a thing to human for 26 years every day he will used to it yk

life: what thing?????

me: trying to scare?

life: you bitch!!!!!! you was a nervous shivering wet cat for your whole life, wtf happened!!!

me: well, things? like, good health treatment, job experience, that one birthday when i decided to leave all the shitty thing in the past and move forward and had a loot of free space for New now. a oh and that night at the bar! and that's not all!

life: night at the bar, WH- how the F it can change anyth-

me: and like that thing with "oh happy monument! oh it's not happy anymore because i think about it will end and sad things will came". this shit is done too! i mean. i accepted it? like. things will end! what a surprise! they will end anyway. it is impossible to always have only good situations, they like. You know that zebra shit, it is working. Why people don't think "oh this shit is very sad! but i feel so happy because this sad thing will end and happy one will come!". Happy things happens and ends, sad things too. I am just feeling that is happening atm

I am just doing things, doing my destiny which i choose, and fun things which i love. And i feel happy because a lot of happy things happening! And, well. Shit happened, what a shock! Well, i will take it as a test. But i am not a "i want only a+" guy in the class anymore. I am not even in the class! I just have a situation and i will just do something about it! That's how situations works!

life: but it's emergency situation!!!

me: nah, not really, i wanted to move out long time ago. kinda needed kick in the butt. the only uncomfortable thing here is a surprise. and kiiinda not-clear future. but, lol, when it was clear?

life: LBGRRRRRBGufshgsfRRRRRRR-

me: i am kinda tired of every my thought being setup-punch line joke, so meh. not this time! ha!

[starwritesficsandstuff]

Following up from your other future headcanons. Which I love 👍👍. There are some questions I wanna ask due to being a bit lost on certain details.

Does Maya join in Kelsey/Vanessa/Stacks relationship?

How Does Craig travel so much?

Why would J.P go back to hockey even as a past time?

What happened to the cliques of Handebarb and Jason?

I can actually see Sparkle Cadet be like this character https://bighero6.fandom.com/wiki/Wendy_Wower

I will say, it's been a while since I've watched the show and some details are fuzzy, and it's mostly just headcanon and not a full AU, so I don't have every detailed worked out. Pick and choose what you like as you wish. But here are my personal, headcanon answers to those questions:

I'd like to think so! The girl gang grows...

When a band commissions Craig to make and sell merch, they take him on tour with him. Idk how this works in real life, but that's a fun little scenario I'd like to believe. He probably goes on his first tour as the official merch guy with Bad Moves, and as he meets more and more music artists at concerts, he gets more popular. So he just kinda gets to see the country tagging along with whichever band pays him.

I don't know. It's been a long while since I've seen The New Jersey, but from what I remember he didn't dislike the sport, just the team he'd have to play with. He gave it the good old college try when he was older, enjoyed it, but ultimately didn't pursue it. So either way it's not a big deal in the long run, because he only played it for 2 or 3 years.

I haven't put a ton of thought into them, but here's how I see it: Handlebarb when into some kind of stunt work professionally, most likely either some kind of biking thing (I think stunt biking is a thing?) or becoming a stunt double in movies, but either way, they still ride their bike every day. Canonball is the one who actually cycles in races as a sport, and he usually wins. As for Warpspeed and todd, I have no clue. Sorry!

The forest scouts are a little easier for me to say. I think Jason ends up being a park ranger who leads forest scout troops over the summer. He can still be a stickler for the rules, but he's mellowed out a lot over time. Boris is harder to say, but given he was always pretty kind, I'd say he's no too far off from Jason. Some kind of wildlife expert who specializes in plant life or a natural history museum curator. Either way, he's a conservationist and is very involved in all sorts of wildlife protection efforts. I see Tony as a historian or a librarian as an adult. If he ended up a librarian, I think he'd specialize in non-fiction and find a place that specifically collects non-fiction resources for people to use when writing books or essays or research projects, and helping people narrow down their research. We have a place like that kind of close to where I live.

5. I haven't watched the Big Hero Six series, but I could also see Sparkle Cadet as a similar character in the future from what I saw on the wiki.

[claitea]

some thoughts about pokemon violet. spoilers ahead!

there are. quite a few graphical glitches and messes whbejrvhr. sometimes trainers and pokemons eyes get stuck closed for a while, camera clips into the floor during battle, a sunflora i was in battle with and therefore Very Close To moved at a lower frame rate like other faraway entities. hough the homeroom scene..... almost everyone in that room looked so janky.

but tbh? i've been having too much fun to care too much about that specifically. the rest of the game is pretty :)

wish i could stop the minimap from spinning. i can lock the map app to north but not the minimap????

THE FOOD ILLUSTRATIONS ARE SO GOOD I WANT TO EAT THE ICECREAM SO BAD

rip pixel pokemon and item icons though </3 i find them more charming. also the icon for persim berries is too red and its bothering me, persim berries are PINK this is BRIGHT SCARLET

idk how pokemon icons on the minimap work either i'll be running all over the place it indicates and not find the pokemon its showing. i want a charcadet :(

i chose sprigatito but was THIS close to choosing fuecoco because of the first cutscenes. quaxly having to tell fuecoco not to eat the burnt orange whjegjevdj

miraidon my beloved asshole lizard who eats all my sandwiches. i gotta rewatch any and all miraidon scenes with koraidon when i'm done with the game, the first cutscene with the houndoom was SO COOL

PEOPLE WERE RIGHT ARVEN IS THE PROFESSOR'S KID

there were a couple nods to older games! a book in the library talks about someone seeing the stow-on-side mural get broken by a copperajah, another book talks about pewter crunchies, and the meditative seat art installation in artazon are items you could buy in oras as decoration for your secret base. i know every game has callbacks to previous ones but the stow-on-side one caught me offguard because thats a spoiler isnt it?? the other one surprised me too but more becaue Why do i remember this one specific base item. i havent touched oras in years

a library book also said Hydreigon and Volcarona got alt forms like donphan did and i need to see them IMMEDIATELY

as far as i've seen in the library, the pokemon that get those forms are donphan, tyranitar, volcarona, hydreigon. and Delibird. which i find hilarious bc its all these threatening scary pokemon and then. DELIBIRD.

WHY DID MY BELOVED LECHONK EVOLVE INTO AN EMO BOY

so far out of the new pokemon. the only design i dont like is spidops. spiops. i forgot how to spell it. where did my cute little yarn ball go :( maybe its just New Pokemon Doesnt Look Like A Pokemon Yet Syndrome but there is just SOMETHING about spiops's design that doesnt sit right with me

miraidon jumping is a little janky sometimes idk??? also i got stuck in a pond once and it could NOT climb out no matter where i tried. i had to fly out

i already like tera raids a lot more :') i HATED how max pokemon could shield and move multiple times and all that. i dont have online so max raids are damn near IMPOSSIBLE for me to do because the ai sucks That bad. i feel like with the time limit thing and infinite revives i could stand a chance doing it solo. this is just me talking about the early 1-2 star raids though idk how it'll go later on

i did get one odd glitch where my first attack didnt appear to deplete the hp bar, but then a few attacks later it looked like it had hp left but it fainted? my damage just. Didnt Show for some reason while still registering as damage

i think they fixed the overlevelling problem bc i was even getting my ass kicked by wild pokemon sometimes HKWBDJBF. i was cruising through fast like i'd gotten used to in xy to swsh, so i was actually underlevelled a lot. mela almost curbstomped me

THE CAR IS A POKEMON THEY WERE RIGHT ITS AN ACTUAL POKEMON

mela walks like manga emmet lmao

clodsire. thats it thats the bullet point <3

in conclusion i am having a BLAST. i absolutely adore this game so far!! i'm honestly able to overlook anything that bothers me just because i enjoy it a Lot. like of Course i still wish the subpar graphics werent subpar but Who Care look at my clodsire his name is Mousse and i love him