#idk how mad but ill be mad a little bit lol

[crunchycrystals]

while im procrastinating on my homework im just gonna say im gonna be kind of very mad if that mv she's filming is actually for a midnights track lol i like the theory that its for long live though i think that would really fit if the vid is actually about taking back her work

[nmakii]

‘Can I ask you to do something about Alastor×reader? About y/n being a modern girl (2023-2024), and she often has strange gestures or words towards Alastor. One time she talked to him in modern language, making him confused and very curious. (You can expand the situation as you like, sorry my English is not very good)’

NEW IS ALWAYS BETTER!

— alastor x modern!reader (platonic or romantic!)

— alastor calls reader “good girl” so mostly fem!coded

— I WROTE THIS AND THEN IT GOT DELETED I MIGHT KMS.

alastor gets slangs that are common such as LOL, WTF, IDK but doesn’t get some that aren’t as common like LMFAO, IDRC, or WTAF since they’re just making them longer, so it’s quite useless…

he also doesn’t quite get shortcuts for words. one time you left him a note “lol brb rq imma b back in like 20 min. j gon pick smt up” most of it was honestly gibberish to him, but at the very least, he understood you’ll be back in 20 minutes.

gets really angry when you say things like “stop reaching, gooner. you’re just pissed that you’re a beta.” because; one, you’re blatantly disrespecting the radio demon and telling him to shut up. and two, he doesn’t get what any of that meant. what’s a gooner?

also gets annoyed often when you start singing songs like “i’m the alpha, i’m the leader” or “sticking out your gyatt for the rizzler” because, it’s a reflection on modern society and how music quality in modern times have plummeted significantly.

what happened to those beautiful songs such as “the man i love”? has it been replaced by this rizzler nonsense??? honestly, you’re giving alastor more and more reasons to dislike modernity… you’re lucky he finds your company enjoyable

in a desperate attempt to connect with you, he asked angel about your humor, hoping he’d understand. alastor knows that if anything, velvette would know. but, he’d rather get beaten by lucifer than ask the vees for help…

sadly for him, angel is just as confused. although, he at least knew what this alpha bullshit was, vaguely explaining furries and the alpha-beta-omegaverse to him…

you were in the hotel den, scrolling on social media as alastor walked in. “s/o, be a dear and fetch me some chicken breasts from the butcher, would you? i’d like to prepare something for tonight’s dinner.” alastor smiled

“hmm… nah. go do it yourself, furry” you giggled brattishly. “hahah… what did you call me?” alastor asked sternly, his face now close with yours, antlers increasing only slightly in size. “ah…” you stuttered.

alastor was never this mad when you said stuff like that, what was so different today? maybe he was in a bad mood? “ah… ill get it…” you conceded, using your hands to lightly push alastor away, lest he decides you’ll be for dinner…………

alastor snickered before patting you on the head. “good girl. don’t call me that again, this old dog can still learn new tricks, y’know?” he teasingly sang out. “huh?” you asked. “did you learn what a furry is?” you bit your lip, holding back your laughter.

“indeed, i did. horrifying that you’d think i would indulge in such hobbies…” he sighed, looking a little uncomfortable through his stressed smile. “what..? i don’t think you’re a furry, alastor. it’s not that deep. furry is just something that i used to laugh about with my friends back on earth.” you shallowly laughed, copying his actions by rubbing his hair.

he has to admit, that little mistranslation was a little funny looking back on it. but, he is a little disheartened that he got you scared over nothing. you were just having your fun and he got all pissed off. he’d definitely try to instead ask you about your slang as to prevent such a thing again…

[retroaria]

hey! I'm not really into nsfw stuff- sooo would you like to do something soft with reo? 😭 like, idk, him as a husband or father so with a family? THANK YOU SO MUCH 💗💗

✮⋆˙ domestic reo headcanons ✮⋆˙

a/n: this is so brain rotted i can’t even lie i think reo is just so easy to romanticize. pure fluff.

• | BLUE LOCK M.LIST | enjoy !! - aria 💜 | •

✮ I actually love this because i headcanon that reo would be a great dad :D at the very least he’d be extremely supportive of whatever his children wanted to do in their lives. He wouldn’t force them to follow in his footsteps like his father and he’d use whatever devices he could to ensure they can comfortably follow the path they choose.

✮ Would post about all his children’s accomplishments, or if you guys didn’t feel comfortable posting the kids he’d still take any chance to tell everyone about it - even his teammates who literally don’t care that his son got the highest score on the spelling test (they’re happy for him though). He secretly enjoys scrapbooking for his kids but they’re “your books” and he “just helps you with it sometimes”. (he’s the one who took almost all the pictures and saved every piece of paper his kid has ever drawn on)

✮ Reo is a charming husband, so charming and sweet it’s hard to be mad at him. He’s a bit lacking in cleaning/caretaking capabilities when it comes to the home but he puts in the effort??? He tries his best and if he does a bad job he always makes it up to you one way or another. In all honesty, he’s probably already hired people to do that (forgot this man is inheriting a multi millionaire dollar corporation).

✮ Reo is however very good at taking care of children. Once he has a clear grasp of their needs, he finds it to be really enjoyable and fulfilling. He takes a lot of pride in whatever happiness and comfort he can bring to his kids. He hates the sound of his babies crying, not because it’s annoying (though he complains about that too) but because it genuinely hurts his soul. He can be a bit too worrisome about it sometimes - he’s totally the type of person to look up his child’s symptoms and freak out over seeing all the worst case scenarios.

✮ The one thing that reo particularly excels at is taking care of you when you’re sick. He can always tell when you’re not feeling your best and he immediately harps on you. He doesn’t know how to cook very well but he knows how to make a few different kinds of warm foods to fill your stomach and give you a little energy. He’d absolutely refuse to stay away from you (unless it was a seriously contagious illness or if you guys had a baby that could’ve gotten sick). Doesn’t care if you’re sneezing and coughing and wheezing, he wants to feed you and hold you and kiss your hot head until it cools down and everything is better again. His goal is always to make sure you get better as soon as possible and won’t let you do anything but rest and relax until then.

✮ Reo is an incredible gift giver! I’ve certainly mentioned this in another hc post, but he is always out and about buying you little things that remind him of you. If you guys have a kid that’s just more gifts he’ll have to get and the thought of that honestly excites him.

✮ Anything can happen but…reo with a daughter…guys….

✮ he would be the sweetest girl dad! would do everything in his power to make her believe she’s an actual princess and he’s just one of her loyal servants. Spoils her rotten and doesn’t feel bad about it.

✮ You’d have to explain to him how this could negatively affect your daughter and it would break his heart. He’d go into theatrics trying to refute it because “What do you mean I can’t let her have everything she wants?” and “What if she cries? You want me to make my daughter cry?” he gets it eventually, but remains reluctant lol.

✮ He’d love playing sports with his kids. Would try to get them into soccer but if they end up liking another sport he’s still just as hype. Isn’t initially familiar with the concept of letting the kids win but soon realized he has to level with the speed of their little legs.

✮ I don’t have any specific hc’s for him as a boy dad but he’d be just as great of course - he’d make sure his son sees how women should be treated based on how he treats you!

✮ If he could find a way to make you the total world ruler he would because he truly believes you’re the most capable person. He’s the kind of husband who lets you run things for the most part but is always there to step in when you need a break or if you just want him by your side. Would call for an emergency flight back home from whatever country he’s training in just because you said you didn’t wanna go to parent teacher night alone.

✮ He loves doing mundane tasks with you, but always tries to “make it a bit more fun” as he says - which basically means he puts away the clothes you fold while you listen to him crack really bad jokes at you, gossip about his teammates, or try to sing and serenade you with his MANY playlists he’s made dedicated to you. On days you both have nothing going on he follows you around the house like a lost puppy, which is slightly annoying but it also means you have four hands to do stuff because he’s a participator above all else.

✮ Reo always makes sure to show his appreciation for how hard you work whether it’s at your job, taking care of the kids/house, or both. He takes time alone with you very seriously, even as your lives get busier and your family grows he always makes sure there’s time for the two of you to just be together and be in love. Always jokes about how you guys need to keep the romance going. He has small romantic gestures that he indulges you in throughout the day: kissing you on the cheek, brushing your hair out of your face/tying it back for you if you if you need (taking his hair tie out for you to use), hugging you a little tighter just before you get up, running a bath for the both of you, massaging your shoulders while you talk.

to be fully honest with you guys, i have never in my life wanted to have kids so it was a bit hard for me to imagine what being happy with children would be like LMAO but alas i did my best. stay safe and stay cool. - aria :3

[tobeywobey]

this is me asking about your grandberry pirate gillion au :0

YESYAYYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this spawned cuz of a swordfish supercut and also the joke lizzie made abt "you come on this ship you're my crew"

ok SOOO its canon-compliant UP until 53/57, around there ! gilly takes Not Ferin Well a whole lot worse, especially the almost jay betrayal! hes basically the same as he is in canon (atleast to jay and chip) but hes so upset over jay lying to them this whole time even after what theyve been through together. lizzie and caspian roll up on the half a ship and yk yk, gill goes to help and lizzie makes the "hes on my ship, hes on my crew" and. gill just thinks shes serious and hes shocked and then kind of relieved? he didnt know how to confront chip and jay about what happened on block and now he doesnt have to! and so he just. says goodbye to jay and chip and lizzie is like oh shit youre fr? ok welcome aboard. LOL .

jay and chip take this as well as youd expect! theyre obviously very betrayed and upset, and chip is mad at both gill but also Lizzie cuz in his mind she has just taken his best friend away from her :( they go their separate ways after an argument between all of them (mainly gill, lizzie and chip) and jay keeps trying to convince chip to go back, chip keeps trying to sail them forward and is even more deadset on finding arlin now (they drop off ollie way sooner, as soon as they get to zero-- which they leave for after allport)

gill would start to feel guilty but also the training hes doing with caspian and lizzie starts to help him, and hes also coming to terms with being in the oversea and in his mind the grandberry ship is helping him a lot!

anyways a lot of time passes, both ships go on canon-compliant adventures (HOWEVER. grandberry pirates fight off against the navy a lot more than riptide crew does in canon, so gill is also dealing with that .)

since it starts out near ep 50ish, its near ep 100 where they are reunited (in the black sea!) niklaus tempts lizzie (and by proxy the rest of the crew) by saying if they go and help him with what he needs (which is uh. gillion. its the same thing he wants gill to do in canon) that he will bring ava back (he can Totally do that guys.) and then he gets A BIT SILLY and goes to riptide pirate crew (atp theyd have all the normal npcs minus queen cuz that was all gillion's doing) and is like. Do you Want your Fish Guy? Hes somewhere in the black sea. find him for me and ill make sure he comes back to you guys . :D (he can also Totally do that.)

they meet in the black sea, have the same battle they did when they first got there (both albatross and grandberry together) and gill is still the one who saves jay which leads to sillyness ^_^ gill and jay . talk it out and whatnot, chip (once he stops refusing to talk to gill) and gill argue about it and have. surprise. another ice arena moment. theyre so insane.

---also extra notes--- :D

i dont exactly think hed say hes happier on the grandberry ship than with chip n jay i just . think hes definitely less worried about being the main protector? he knows caspian and lizzie can hold their own (not saying jay and chip cant its just .. you know..) and is living with a lot less stress and also has worked through undersea trauma like how he does in canon except with lizzie and caspian so . hes definitely living a better life, and if offered a place back on the riptide crew he wouldnt just abandon lizzie and caspian after all that especially cuz he still has lingering pain from jay betrayal ^_^

has lizzie/ava (past), swordfish QPR (i love them), liz/casp (QPR) (have you heard how caspian talks abt liz?), and uh........ yeah thats it.

also little idea idk where to fit in here . thinking abt gill missing ollie and chip (once theyve made up) being like "the three of us can go back to Zero and see him!" and gill is just like .. "chip this is my family now, im so much happier here than I have been (OUCH.) I can't in good conscious rejoin you as a riptide pirate after i've spent so long with as a grandberry pirate. However I would Like to see ollie." but both ships go and see ollie bc. yeah ^_^. chip is. devastated :(

hes much stronger and also slightly crazier! the navy trying to kill you will do that to you ^_^

i feel like i had something else to say but i forgot it.

[rems-writing]

Hot cat - I mean hot guy summer

Pairing: cursed!Wooyoung × witch amab!reader

Summary: You and Regina needed to find a cure for a sick Robin Hood. Whilst on your journey, you find a black cat. Thinking nothing of it, you take care of it for a little while. Little did you know that your care would end up impacting this cat's life

Warning(s): Cursing, mentions of a dagger being used, their enemy is lowkey stupid lol, a little bit of violence using magic, mentions of a dangerous flower being used, reader is a highkey damn simp for Woo lol, rough translations for Ateez's cover of Black Cat Nero. Original is by a duo named Turbo. Song is derived from an Italian children's song/lullaby

Genre: Adventurous fluff. Idk if that's a thing lol

Nets: @mirohs-aurora-society

You still felt bad for the kid but at least he moved on. 

Thank you to @ja3hwa and @bunnliix for proofreading

“Come on! We’re going to be late! Get your ass down here!” You heard Regina shout to you as you were just finishing up gathering the necessary materials for this quest. Robin had fallen ill due to being struck by a living plant in the Enchanted Forest and you were going with her to strike it down and get a sample of its leaves so you can create an antidote. Like how you guys used a tear from Henry when he got heartbroken in Camelot so you could free Merlin.

As you guys poofed yourselves into the forest, you immediately set off to find the plant. According to her, the plant wasn’t actually living. Rather, it came alive due to a random witch’s work. They were most likely a follower of Gothel or a wannabe Gothel and you were slightly annoyed by that. She was annoying when she was still alive and you were so glad that Alice got rid of her. 

There was one downside though. This witch always moved around. They never had a set location. You figured it was smart of them. The more you move, the more likely your tracks will be covered. If you did it correctly of course. If you move yet you leave something behind, you are bound to be found. In this case, this witch was smart. There were almost little to no traces of them left behind, which made this mission a lot more difficult than usual. 

Three hours into the search, you and Regina were tired. You decided to make camp somewhere and settle down. You decided to take first watch. Regina nodded and placed a protection spell around your little camp in case someone decided to ambush you. After Regina fell asleep, you kept your eyes out for anything suspicious. 

Another hour passes and you feel yourself getting sleepy. You told yourself that you’ll wake up your sister so she can take the next watch. However, that plan went down the drain when you heard a twig snap. Your ears perked up due to the sound and they perked up even more when another sound, albeit a faint one, rang out through the air. It sounded animal-like. 

Perhaps a cat?

Your instincts were right when you saw a small black cat approach you. 

Its big shiny eyes that glinted a soft yellow in the dim lighting of your fire stared up at you as it walked right up to you. Its fur was a mess, its body was covered in scratches, and its tail was shaking slightly. Its ears were drooped downwards and its mouth opened to let out a quiet mewling sound. You cooed at the sight and bent down to pet the little critter. 

“You scared me, buddy! Don’t go doing that alright?” You exclaimed quietly and jokingly in hopes of calming it down. It meowed quietly and got closer to you before bumping its head against your knuckles. You obliged and kept petting the small creature, scratching at the base behind its ears before moving to scratch under its chin. 

“You are my cute black cat

A red ribbon will look great on you. 

But if you get mad

You will scratch and hurt others.”

You mindlessly sang this song until the end and it looked like the lullaby worked. You looked down and you saw the black cat curled up in your arms, sleeping soundly. You cooed at the endearing sight before bending down to kiss the top of its head. 

The second hour had passed and you unfortunately had to go to bed since you felt the fatigue taking over. Setting the cat down for a second, you walked over to Regina and gently nudged her awake. She was up in seconds and quickly made her way to her post while you sneakily grabbed the cat and laid it beside you before you laid down and drifted off to sleep. 

—-------------------------------------------------

The next morning, you stretched and looked around. The fire was out, the camp looked the same as it was before, and there was a random person’s bare feet staring straight at you in the face - 

Wait a second…

Immediately, you got up and faced the person but you froze the moment you saw Regina with a knife against her throat. You then looked down and saw the leather cuff that was on her wrist. 

You nor her put it on there. 

“Move and her throat will be sliced open.” A raspy voice was heard. You finally looked at the person that was holding Regina captive. Your eyes widened and your annoyance grew even more. 

You found the witch. 

And she was looking raggedy as hell. 

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms. You raised an eyebrow at her in suspicion before gesturing to her to say what the fuck she needed. She pointed the tip of her dagger at you then back at Regina’s throat. You didn’t flinch one bit since you were used to weapons being pointed at you. Your patience was wearing thin and you felt your powers heat your palms. However, you remained calm and stared her down menacingly, smirking subtly when you saw the fear in the witch’s eyes. She was afraid. 

Good. 

“What do you want?” Your voice got deeper and you felt your eyes be tinted with a shade of blue, indicating that you will not hesitate to attack if she tried something. She scoffed and pressed the tip of the dagger against Regina’s throat a bit harder, which pissed you off. 

“Where’s my cat?” 

You had to scoff. She didn’t ask who you guys were, if you’re following her, or anything else a smart or a beginner bad guy would ask. 

She asked about her fucking cat. 

Feeling your patience run out, you flicked your wrist and the witch was sent flying back against a nearby tree. Roots sprang up and wrapped around her tightly. She tried to use her powers to free herself, but you were faster. You got the cuff off Regina’s wrist and slapped it on her own wrist. Now she was useless. As your midnight blue irises stared down at her, she cowered in fear. Clearly, she had no idea who you were. 

“I don’t give a shit about your cat. It probably ran away due to how fucking stupid you are. But you were definitely smart enough to send that damn aconitum plant after one of our own. You’re extremely lucky the illness hasn’t gotten serious yet. However, you’re still going to help us create a cure.” 

“And if I don’t? What are you going to do, loser?” 

Oof. She was seriously getting on your nerves. A root wrapped itself around her neck and a slight choking sound emitted from her throat. All cockiness and pride were washed away as she realized the severity of the situation. 

Not only did she piss off the Good Queen’s and Wicked Witch’s little brother, she also pissed off the deadliest and most powerful wizard known throughout all of the kingdoms hidden in Storybrooke. 

The Demonic Ace. 

She gulped nervously and tried to apologize, but the root was constricting her voice so you loosened the root a little bit so she can apologize and cooperate. Once you deemed her apology decent enough, you let her go yet also kept her in place at the same time. She got the memo and led you and Regina to where she was hidden before guiding you guys on how to properly create an antidote for the effects of the illness. 

—-------------------------------------------------

That was almost three months ago. Robin got better, the stupid witch was detained, and you were back home playing video games. Until Zelena poofed in, grabbed your arm, and poofed out with you dragged along. Once you arrived at Granny’s Diner, you were glaring at her, indicating why she interrupted your gaming session. When she pointed in a different direction, you followed your eyes to where she was pointing. 

And boy were you glad. 

Sitting with your other sister, the Savior, and Henry was a gorgeous man. He had an equally gorgeous face with a pretty nose, pretty lips, piercing eyes, a piercing underneath his right eyebrow that had a slit on it, a sharp jawline, and black hair that was parted in a way. 

You were a sucker for undercuts and piercings. You also couldn’t help but find the mole under his eye very endearing. You then looked down at his outfit. 

You almost fell to your knees. 

He had on an all black fit that contrasted very fucking well with his honey colored skin. A black tank top, a silver cuban link, faded black skinny jeans, and black shiny boots. 

Regina said that black is her color, but in all honesty, you were ready to fight in order to defend your opinion. Because in this moment right now

Black was his color. 

Zelena pushed you to the table and as if they timed it, Regina, Emma, and Henry all moved out of the way before you fell into your seat. You sat up straight and you looked the man in the eyes, apologizing for being a klutz. He smiled brightly and shook his head. 

“It’s ok, babe.” 

HUH?!

BABE?!

WAIT DID THEY SET YOU UP ON ANOTHER DATE?!

As if he read your mind, he took your hand and kissed the back of it before setting it down and holding it gently in his own. 

“Let me explain. My name is Jung Wooyoung. I’m a new resident of Storybrooke. Before that though, I was under an animagus curse and roamed the streets as a black cat for three years. You broke that curse.” 

EVERYTHING MADE SO MUCH SENSE NOW! 

You blushed and shyly grinned at him before shaking your own head.

“It was nothing. And I’m sorry you got cursed. I totally understand if you don’t want to talk about it. Curses cast by witches and wizards fucking suck. But I’m glad I was able to free you!” You rambled nervously and he chuckled.

His voice was smooth and a bit higher than a normal guy’s, yet it was still airy. He leaned over the table and kissed your cheek. Your blush got worse after that. A smirk painted his face as he spoke. 

“Since I’m new, can you show me around?”

[powderseas]

side order is here!!! its real!!! yippee

what do you think of it so far?

ok so im just gonna spit out all my side order thoughts so far

SPOILERS FOR SIDE ORDER AHEAD!!!!!!

EDIT: I ACTUALLY FINISHED THE GAME WOOO (just one run tho lol) im gonna write my thoughts under the previous stuff

OK SO. i think im a little..? dissapointed..? abt sider order?? like im kinda conflicted abt the lore, also i suck BALLS at the game

the thing is i have done 5 runs so far AND COULDNT GET A SINGLE WIN. the most i can do is up to floor 20.... im literally so bad at this game I ONCE DIED 2 TIMES IN AN EASY LEVEL. im newgen guys.

maybe im not fit for rougelike games but like... idk. i feel like me and the fandom as a whole expected so much more from side order. i feel like if the game is gonna make you replay the same stuff over and over again it should atleast have a SOUL CRUSHING LITERARY MASTERPIECE TYPE OF LORE like OE and Alterna

AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW DIRTY THEY DID FOUR???? literally called them an irrelavent loser and then sweeped them aside... THEY DONT EVEN HAVE A PALETTE ICON???? theyre not even a secret boss smh.... agent 4 had so much potential I WILL NEVER FORGIVE NINTENDO FOR THIS. and like sure the parallel canon level kind of includes four but that thing is literally an npc??? like imagine what they couldve done with the story if they had included four in it:

when four is left out from the squidbeak splatoon they try to prove themselves by siding with marina with her project. it makes perfect sense. marina and four are both scared of being seperated by their loved ones. but four gets consumed by their anger and jealousy and goes full order mode LIKE DO YOU GUYS SEE MY VISION!!!! i will be forever mad that we didnt get this.

also why is murch out of all the chracters have a pallete??? why didnt they put in captain 3 or something????? sheldon i kinda understand since hes also kinda a part of the squidbeak splatoon BUT MURCH??? get the fuck out!!!

negative stuff aside tho. i love pearl and marina so much. THIS IS THE PEARLINA GAME GUYS!!!!! pearl literally mentions that marina and her sleep in the SAME BED???? marina is so autistic. my little autism creature. SHE MAKES DINO ARMS IN THE ENDING SCENE AUGHHHHHGHHH MY HEARTTT i love marina so much AND PEARL. SUCH A SILLY GOOBER. acht is so precious too... BUT I CNAT BELIEVE THAT THEY MADE THEM WHITE*??? ACHT IS NOT WHITE NINTENDO. anyways i love eight and her little found family full of lesbians. they are all lesbians your honor. we are raising lesbians in this house.

so yeah. i hope i can finish the run atleast ONCE. but like. idk i havent finished the game but side order jsut makes me feel. sad... and lonely...?? unlike octo expension where you could see more and more people using the metros and the chatrooms between marina and pearl are just AUUGGHHH OE IS A GAME. ABOUT CONNECTIONS OK. it makes me feel warm and happy and even though eight became traumatized i like to think that she healed and in the process met so many important people in her life.

in side order i dont see anything in eight*??? is she traumatized??? is she vibing??? is she happy to help??? I LITERALLY CANT TELL. side order makes me feel so cold and empty like do you guys understand what i mean. and its probably becasue it doesnt even take place in the real world. and the thing is. i understand that side order is supposed to be everything that OE couldnt be. i understand that. both games have their own quirks BUT. i just cant seem to make myself love it unlike any other story mode in splatoon...... im really trying to be not biased here but yeah. these are my opinions for side order

AFTER GAME THOUGHTS

HELLO. so yes i somehow managed to win the game. and honestly. the final boss was pretty fun and everyone was so cute at the end omg... but i still think that side order is a bit underdevloped.... i dont even know if ill try to %100 is cuz playing it makes me SO STRESSFUL im glad i get to finish a run BUT i will definetly not be touching side order atleast for a while.... but despite i had plenty of stuff i didnt like in side order the ending managed to make me forget all that haha

[just-another-author-i-guess]

Judd's childhood headcanons?

You betcha 🤭

Tags: idk like mentions of violence and such, Judd being a pyromaniac from a very young age, dead bugs?

Author's note: if we don’t get a baby judd episode in the new season I will riot (,:

Judd childhood hc's

Word count: 1,2K

Both of his parents were absolutely over the moon when he was born

Imagine being an only child in the Birch household, like ngl that sounds pretty sweet

He had their attention aaalll to himself, and he thoroughly enjoyed it 

He was quite an active child too, not like hyper but always doing something he was definitely not supposed to do, so he needed either one of his parents to watch him constantly anyways

I feel like he was a pretty “normal” child until Leah was born, sure he was a bit harder to watch than average 2-year-olds but it wasn’t to like a concerning degree or anything

That was until Leah was born

Suddenly having to deal with a new sister, unleashed little monster-gremlin Judd

Not even like five minutes after she was born, when he got to see her in the hospital, did he call her ugly and bald

He probably had an identity crisis when his dad told him he looked like that too

Anyways, Elliot was really empathic towards him, even though he was definitely becoming a bit of a spoiled brat

Like, he sat him down and was like “I know it’s hard for you to get a new sister, but think about how much she’s going to look up to you, blah blah..”

Judd did not listen

So for the next few years, his mission became causing as much trouble for everyone around him as possible and then finding a way to blame it on Leah

Obviously, no one believed that an infant thrashed the house and set fire to a bunch of ants in the backyard

(It was hard to believe toddler Judd even managed to do it lmfao)

That’s another thing, like he wouldn’t hurt big animals, like cats, dogs, raccoons, ect cause he likes those

But he’s definitely responsible for the bug population in town drastically decreasing lol

He would be that type of little kid who burns ants, crushes snails and squeezes bugs to death

I was reading IT right, and patrick apparently has a whole pencil case filled with dead flies AND WHY IS THAT SO JUDD

I could see him bringing that into kindergarten, and when it’s art time he pulls it out and shows the teacher’s kinda proudly and they’re all like 😧✋

This was how he ended in therapy, too

Diane getting a call like “Yeah, uh, your son has a pencil case full of dead bugs and he’s scaring everyone pls come pick him up”

She wasn’t even mad, bc if you’ve seen my other headcannons, yk it would just be even more confirmation that Judd definitely inherited a lot of things from her

He was definitely a very stab-happy kid too

I’m talking deliberately sharpening his pencils to a point and using them as weapons 

I can see him having a slingshot too, he would sit somewhere his dad couldn’t see and just shoot rocks at him

Poor Elliot, Judd’s abuse and gremlin behaviours definitely affected him the most

Diane could actually get angry so Judd didn’t dare mess too much with her, and Leah was just a baby so her reactions were usually pretty boring

She didn’t even care when Judd showed her the dead flies smh 🫤

So Elliot was the only good target 

Judd was very, very annoyed though, at how he never really got angry, like he’d always just praise Judd for his creativity 

If he’s too mean to his dad, Diane will also get mad at him lol

So it’s about finding a balance yk 

But back to the therapy thing

I don’t really think Judd got diagnosed with anything, besides being a creepy ass kid 

If being creepy is a mental illness, count me in too idc

But like, there’s nothing inherently wrong with him, he just really enjoys causing trouble

So the only thing the therapist recommended was stricter parenting

As both him and Leah got older, his plans of getting rid of her became more thought out as well

There’s that one scene where Nick is a newborn and Judd tries to set fire to Leah’s hair

That is definitely a recurring thing, like he realised if he truly wanted to get rid of Leah he’d have to try something,,, more effective than leaving her random places and trying to get his parents to hate her

So setting her hair on fire seemed like a good idea

I don’t think he grasped the idea that she could actually die, but like if her hair burned off she would be ugly and their parents wouldn’t like her anymore yk? Something like that

Where did a six year old get lighters?? I would like to fucking know 

This was also around the time he started to realise, that maybe murder and thrashing the house all the time was not a good idea

Diane probably had a talking to him, and was like “Now you’ve got a new brother, you can’t be trying to set his crib on fire or anything, you’re too old for that now”

That made him switch out his lighter for scissors and that was when is Chucky arc properly started

He cut a b i g chunk of Leah’s hair off while she slept, he cut up a lot of his dad’s clothes and tried to stab multiple of his teachers 

Like, one of his teachers would go on to have Leah and Nick later, and would always tell them the story of how much of a menace Judd was and show them their scissor scars

Judd was definitely very spoiled too, he used to act kinda like Nick when he was younger 

Little man’s thought he was king of the kindergarten fr 

Probably carried over into his first years at school too, like 1st to 5th grade Judd was not much different 

Omg,, he was a biter too

Like I can see Diane getting mad at him and hoisting him up by his shirt or something, to carry him to his room, but he would just try to bite her the whole time

The same with his teachers, you touch him, you get bitten

I can see him getting into a lot of fights with other boys at school too, either for making fun of him or his dad 

Elliot came to pick him up one day and was like singing a little goofy song or whatever, and the other kids wouldn’t stop making fun of him 

(Aw, that’s so cute, little Judd secretly defending his dad’s honour at school)

Bc he definitely wouldn’t tell his parents the real reason he got into a fight 

Also, if anyone was bullying Leah in the schoolyard, Judd would straight up just spawn

His spidey senses was tingling fr 

But he wouldn’t (And still won’t) hesitate to knock anyone who’s mean to his sister the fuck out 

I feel like he’d also secretly slip something delicious he got in his lunchbox into Leah’s

Like, if she had a bad day at school and Judd so happened to have a candy bar (probably stolen lets be honest) He would make it suddenly appear in Leah’s lunch box and act all oblivious about it

That’s another thing, Judd was straight up just born w/o a moral compass

Even as a kid, he didn’t really see stealing, violence, ect as wrong

Well it all depends who he’s stealing from or beating up or whatever 

But yk, Diane was (and is probably still) like that lol

Tags: @dlfvrr , @bxbyyyjocelyn

(Lemme know if you want to be tagged!)

[blessedshortcake]

My opinion on the finale episodes below the cut. Obviously spoiler warning lol

First of all. I see people say it was really underwhelming and i kinda have to agree? It wasnt a Bad ending or a lazy one or whatever words have been thrown around tho imo. I feel like with all the hype about how "painful" and emotional itll be from the VA and from everyone, we all just expected more tragic outcomes or something.

I am dissappointed because of that as well. I liked how Simon finally reflected a bit and had some self awareness about their situation with Betty. I loved that he didnt become Ice King again or that they didnt do some actual time travel to "fix" stuff. I also liked that they didnt necessarily made him a bad husband (?/boyfriend?) he kinda just never realised that Betty has been putting more into their duo than he was.

That doesnt make him innocent tho b4 someone comes at me. He was a bit too self absorbed but i dont think he was entirely selfish either. He was a person who made mistakes and didnt realise them. The line where he said smt like "i wish we could have talked like this before" also makes it pretty clear to me that Betty never really spoke up about these things either. Golbetty had to make him aware and tbh? I think that was more Golb than Betty.

The whole Scarab ordeal felt a bit. Ehhhhhh I dont know. His anger reaction to things suddenly becoming "canon" (lmao) was very nice to see but him being allowed to wreck havoc like that for a good while felt more like an excuse to bring the others into this world. I dont have a problem with it btw i just dont see the point why we need Farmwold Jay and Little... I forgot her name damn. Also whys Babyworld Finn here 😭 (i get it, he was in the tank, i dont mean literally i mean Why)

As much as i was soooo mad when LSP freed the scarabs it was very in character. I like how it was a thing that he likes animals from the start so it wasnt senseless stupidity, it was something he would do even tho it was the wrong thing to do. Made me pause and lay down to stare at the ceiling in frustration for a solid minute i cant lie, still in chacter tho.

But alas. I like how in the end it all didnt turn magical (completely since ig its partially magical with Cake and everything else) and how Cake finally cooled down about the crown. IM ALSO SO HAPPY THEY KEEP IN TOUCH WITH SIMON OVER THE PHONEEE!! But yea him wanting to move was so real and I hope he does lmao he deserves it.

I only kinda wish they made him reconnect with Marcy a bit more. I am actually pretty dissappointed that we dont know if he ended up reaching out to her more or not. I understand his situation with not wanting to spook her, i actually feel that bit in a soul connecting level good god, but idk. Im at least happy he is Literally in therapy now

(Kinda makes me wonder tho if he spent the time between the end of AT and the start of FC with no like therapist or psychologist. Just rawdogging his mental illness about everything. Mood tbh but like did he? Did he??)

Anyway despite my slight dissappointment i am actually pretty happy with the outcome. I really liked the theories and the ideas of how Simon may make FC magical or what he will become but tbh this is probably the best outcome. Everyone got a happy/hopeful ending (minus Farmwold Finn ig who im atp assuming is dead. Also Star Marceline and PB) which i am really REALLY happy about.

I gotta say I already wanna write fanfic about these guys so inspirational effect granted. Woooo.

Tldr

I was kinda dissappointed because it was overhyped about how emotional it will be when it really wasnt but other than that I am really happy about how the ending turned out save for the alternatives staying in FC

Edit: I SEE PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THE WHOLE SHOW DONT TELL THING AND TBHHH??? TTTTBBBHHHH??? YEAH. IT WAS ALL JUST TALKED ABOUT LIKE WHAT ABOUT SYMBOLISM? MY GOD.

Also Simon had like 10 minutes to get closure with Betty which was horrifically rushed but again, when your wife turns into Basically God you kinda dont really have a choice to chit chat. Still not happy about it but again, could have been worse. Could have been much worse.

[hongthoven]

hiii i saw your requests are open and omfg- off topic but youre so pretty😞🫵 hongjoong would deffo be proud of himself for having you as his stan. NO JOKE.

Ahh also I've read almost every work youve done and your writing style, everything just- HOW YOU WRITE IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING, I could go on reading everything written from you for hours!

Anywayy- again, I saw your requests are open and ahaha since Im not a writer, and I admire you like A LOT i really wanna share one of my scenarios these days and mayyybeee you could writeeee abouuuuttt itttt hehe (ofc if you want --I wont be mad if you never make it lol ill continue support your work!)

So- IM SO WHIPPED FOR SEONGHWA. Been loving my man for years now lmfao so you already know whos this aboutt~, anyway hehe, i was thinking maybe writing 9th member fem!reader ! Ateez (and reader included ofc ofc) are going on vacation in a really nice hotel, with beach outside, everything's perfect for the members to relax a bit from their busy schedule! Reader is also kind of bf and gfs with seonghwa? I mean everyone in the industry AND out of the industry ships them, call them power dynamic and stuff and, even before that, reader and hwa always had that tense. Yk, reader is prettt close with all of her members, they feel like big brothers to her but fucking Park Seonghwa is driving her AND HIM insane since training day. Reader though, is mostly closer with Mingi if not Seonghwa and they are so so touchy with each other, flirting but for fun and nuh uh girl Seonghwa is POSSESSED. Hes so jealous and he doesnt even hide it. Doesnt even try to hide it. He doesnt have a problem with Mingi but when he sees his hands all over you gosh he really wants to make him watch you getting railed by him.

+ its beach day and ateez decide to play shoulder fights? Chicken fight? Lol idk how to say it and Reader get paired with Mingi which causes Seonghwa watching her thighs all over Mingis face. Ahhh- JEALOUS MUCH. Let me add also that of course Seonghwa and reader share the same room so in their way back from the beach it was so tense. Lol- kind of vers2 from your hongjoong jealous bf fanfic. (I RLY LOVED IT BTW🥲)

Im so so sorry if I didn't give you my exact thoughts but- i trust you enough to make it your own~ adding your little details and everything. Youre so talented I dont think you need my details- I think i gave out the main parts!

Thank you so much for your time and I hope you have, will have and had a nice day<33 im so excited for your new works!

(English is not my first language btw so excuse me if something did not make sense)

(actual representation of me reading the beginning of that message-- please??? what if I'm kicking my feet in the air and squealing right now? that was adorable! thank you so much ♥ I'm nowhere near beautiful, what you see is the disgusting reflection of my neverending love for Kim Hongjoong, nothing moooore...!)

I'm so sorry it took me AGES to get this request done but it is finally posted ♥ here ♥ !

I hope you enjoy! Thank you so much for requesting and for your lovely words! ♥

[ma1dita]

if you had to rank pjo/hoo characters how would you rank them and why?

i have not fully ventured into hoo im gonna be real w you so lets do a semi analysis, and since im kinda type a and scared that i dont get directions ill do favorite and least favorite

i have big main character syndrome and i think its my fatal flaw (/j) but mcs always get me... so fucking emotional--- watching the show and in comparison to the books AFTER the fact, i think its crazy but ---percy would have to be first i would cradle that boy into my arms and fight the gods for him. he needs a BREAK. ALL OF THEM DO HONESTLY.

the whole dumbification of him as a character irks me sometimes because its so obvious that he has little to no self esteem but is an intelligent guy in his own right. imo viewers were critiquing that bit in the show a lil too hard, walker ate that shit up. percy is The Himbo though. also idk if this is unpopular but i also loved rachel as a character bc she is The Girlboss. i wish i was as cool and as smooth as her as a teenager

least favorite?? i didnt feel any specific hatred towards any of the kids maybe bc i read the series for the first time as an adult (if yall didnt know from my older works i grew up a potterhead) and i cant be mad at kids acting like kids, but i would say uncle rick found more of his rhythm as the series progressed if that makes sense??? but it felt like a lot of push and pull on some tropes and like for example i felt like chris and clarisse getting together were random... thats just my stronger opinion at this moment in time lol

but what can i say coming from a fandom where the author is a transphobe and cant worldbuild for shit? name reveal why do yall think i go by jo 😭😭😭 its bc its actually joanne and when we yell at jk rowling i feel like we're yelling at me too 😭😭😭 are my opinions even valid

that was a ramble and none of it makes sense hope that helps

[gluffering]

12 16 and 19 for any media of your choice?

12: the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

As must as I want to point at an F/O that I don't see the fandom talk about as much.. let's be real most people on my F/O list aren't unpopular.

I know the question is essentially "character that is unpopular because people don't like them but you do" instead of "character who's unpopular because people don't KNOW THEM" but fuck it.

CYBERSIX THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE. From the 1999 animated show that lasted like.. a single season before being canned. Idk shit about the comics and I intend to keep it that way, I read like 5 pages of it and decided that was enough for me LOL. Anyway she is so cool I love her.

I don't even remember the episodes super well other than concepts and stuff (the Youtube videos I used to watch this ages ago have DEFINITELY been removed by now) but I adore her.

During the day she has a male disguise who's called Adrian Seidelman and like

She's my bigender awakening. Side note but the theme song for this show is gorgeous, I had that shit on LOOP for a while.

16: you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

Pretty much any trope, headcanon or characterization that prioritises the fantasy over the character themselves. I could probably be ok with almost any trope if it suits the characters and it's written well (with obvious exceptions).

Ships are included in this. ESPECIALLY when the existence of the ship makes it clear that the shipper fundamentally misunderstands one/both/all characters that are a part of it. Blade X Dan Heng, I'm looking at you. If people could just stop bullshitting all over the place just because characters have tension with each other, that would be so awesome (mostly not related to the Dan Heng x Blade slight, just something else about ships that bugs me).

19: you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

I was a little ashamed about my Meta Knight fixation when I first had it, but I am hashtag over that shit.

Technically not a part of the question, but there's a bit of guilt whenever I get into a Hoyoverse game or just games in general that clearly have colourism (at the minimum) issues. It's kind of hard not to be when gacha games are like "WE'RE RELEASING A NEW 5 STAR!!" and it's another fucker who's so white you'd think they were ILL.

Genshin is particularly egregious for this, because what do you mean you're using their cultures yet there isn't a single black playable character? Not even ONE?? Give me a fucking break. This is one of the reasons why I take long breaks when I play these games because it's honest to god distracting. Beyond the fact that it's racist as fuck, how do they not understand that having almost every character who's the same colour as my WALL breaks the immersion? What the balls.

..

.. also blonde men.

[baylardo]

me type some of my Voyager episode ideas for Threshold AU chronologically,,, FOR FUN :)

BIG POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i made it up to season 3 lmao 😂 ill try and do more sometime but i piddled out

s2e1 The '37s - amelia name drop idea, but no ones really thinking about it yet.

s2e4 Elogium - somewhere in here, kathryn confides in either Chakotay or Neelix about the name "Philippa" that Mark wanted to name a daughter if they ever had one. :) her and chakotay have that intimate little scene in her readyroom/quarters i think, and neelix is just on the fence about having children (until he isnt) and i think kathryn would maybe have a lil conversation with him about her and mark's plans for their future or something idk.

s2e7 Partriution - tom and neelix bonding, something something laying foundation for kid naming ideas that comes up later.

s2e15 Threshold - obviously where stuff goes down. some less obvious side notes i have on it are that the re-evolution happens between Threshold and Meld. kathryn and tom are aware of their children existing on the ship by Meld. also need to mention somewhere that i think Kes would be the one to suggest they use "Edward" for the boy's name, she tends to suggest the names of her relatives to the doctor, i think she'd just kinda one track mind it haha. and maybe neelix or tom would stink "Owen" 'cause Tom hasnt worked through his daddy issues yet. the more i've sat on the naming process ideas the less i like chakotay, tom, AND kathryn being involved in it lol. i dont think amelia would be an obvious choice to chakotay. MAYBE he's the one to suggest philippa if kathryn did tell him about the name's significance to her (or neelix). its not super important but its something i ruminate on. babies end up getting situated in chakotay's quarters. neelix and kes (mostly neelix) do a lot of the babysitting while the babies' parents are on the bridge. oh i guess also like, its REALLY conveniently in a scene showing that the spy on voyager is in contact with the kazon -> seska. so they're like, vaguely aware at this point of how the warp 10 experiment went,, probably are aware of the triplets being kathryn and tom’s. kathryn and tom are avoidant of their children. tom for his mentioned daddy issues, afraid he'll mess them up, doesnt know how to parent, doesnt want to, etc. kathryn has this huge complex about being unfaithful to mark and that being so visibly apparent to her with these children, ummmm i think shed also beat herself up about being the first to have children on voyager, what her crew must think of her, etc. (before naomi is even born!!! IDIOT) aside from her struggles with her appearance too like yikes girl, visible failure moment. ALSO i think deep down shed know (and even said in the ep) that she was the one initiating things down on the planet and that she wanted children and everything so shes gotta grapple with this act she somewhat knowingly performed and got a clutch of eggs out of haha. oh my gosh ALSO!!!! idk where to mention this but i REALLY dont think belanna would be that involved with the triplets like, all that much if ever especially in earlier seasons. doesnt really seem all that interested, you like, never see her interact with naomi (yes itd be cute but weird that it doesnt happen all too often if at all i cant think of any times rn). like her daddy issues are mad buried and tom's not interested, theyre not even dating yet!!! YES in later seasons i think shed dabble in it just as tom is, and maybe she even pushes him to because of how uninvolved her parents are! but as of right now shes like nty about it haha.

s2e16 Meld - conveniently you dont see kathryn on the bridge in this episode, only her senior officers are seen visiting her in like her readyroom and sickbay and stuff. she's avoiding the bridge for a bit post-Threshold because shes feeling a little insecure about things and hates the looks her crew gives her. but mean!tuvok in this ep does not pull punches and i think hed berate her on like, her avoidance of the bridge or w/e. maybe say the warp 10 experiment was a bad call and she signed off on it idk, she feels really vulnerable afterwords but its an ugly truth thing for her that gets her to overcome her trepidations.

s2e17 Dreadnought - its still early post-Threshold and kathryn's 100% okay with blowing up the ship to save lives and doesnt really consider her children at all.

s2e18 Death Wish - the first time Q tries to tempt kathryn with turning her human again. :) establishing Q being into kathryn while in her hyperevolved state.

s2e20 Investigations - tom has his arc of being sassy with chakotay and overall a bad crew member. add onto it with the au that he and kathryn are both avoiding the children like a plague and leaving chakotay to take care of them. really funny that i think tom walks in late to his shift and bragging/lying about delivering Sam's baby like YEOWCH salt in the wound for chakotay he sure wasnt that ecstatic about his own kids. MAYBE theyre sleeping with each other to relieve lizard tension. chakotay's not vibing this situation at all. so understandably the two boys are a BIT on edge with each other for a surplus of reasons both fake and real. seska gets to see hyperevolved TOM for the first time in this ep but not kathryn!!!!! like to think him and seska would have a little quip about being lizards lol.

s2e21 Deadlock - just another early post-Threshold scenario where Kathryn's not really lingering on her children being part of the equation still. naomi is born in this ep, thats something haha. this might be an ep where she starts to linger on it though, feels somewhat guilty for neglecting them. maybe her and her other self would talk about it before one of them dies.

s2e25 Resolutions - forced exposure therapy for kathryn!!!!! learns while on New Earth that she likes bugs. Unfortunate <3 she also discovers she has an instinctive fondness for heat; she keeps slinking into chakotay's bed to snuggle up against him for warmth, wakes up next to him its real awkward, both choose not to read into it in the beginning but hahaha im trash for bed scenes like that where chakotay stirs to leave and kathryn would squeeze him tighter or something so hell stay with her. ummmmm i think her and chakotay would argue a lot about the kids for a while, then after the storm she kinda changes her tune and FINALLY gets more involved with them. had a side plot idea that Ed gets sick and kathryn gets REALLY frantic about it, like as its happening and his fever's getting worse shes begging whatever deities will listen that shell change and do better for these children if they let him live IDK HAHA.

s2e26/s3e1 Basics - seska gets to see threshold!kathryn here for the first time and she can BULLY HER about it. >:) i wanna dabble with these eps like, THOROUGHLY and i really havent yet, but i think seska would get a little booty injured about chakotay choosing kathryn's weird lizard offspring over his own son. SPEAKING OF SON i love the kolopak stuff about fatherhood it compliments the AU SOOOOO MUCH bc kolopak's like talking about the illegitimate children of a tribe being taken in despite their heritage JUST LIKE HIM!!!!!!! like chakotay could easily be talking to kolopak about his struggles with caring for these three infants that arent even his or something. maybe its vague haha. but inbetween Resolutions and Basics, kathryn's DEFINITELY pulled back on all that growth she did, like its a little different, but chakotay's frustrated about what to do. ALSO minor thing, but kathryn gets to eat weird eggs and bugs in this ep for survival and gets to make her crew do it too and i think that's awesome. :) also tiny note that the planet they get stranded on is hot and dry and i think kathryn and tom and babies would struggle with that so i think she'd be grouchy.

s3e8/s3e9 Future's End - just have to start that this ep has its opening with janeway as her like practicing tennis in her room and saying she's out of practice and 5000% AU associate her rusty skills with having a tail. :) canon compliance kinda necessitates these episodes have kathryn and tom look like, normal human. :/ the AU has to compliment proposed/used/failed solutions down the line in episodes as they organically occur like Ashes to Ashes where that's their FIRST time testing something to try and make Lyndsay Ballard look human, which to me means they wouldnt have attempted it prior to that episode and its waaaay in season 6. theres potential like, temporary disguise/genetic alteration ideas too like what they do with neelix and chakotay in some episodes, but i dont think theyd be able to do anything about hiding their tails! and these are the eps where the holographic emitter is ESTABLISHED so they dont even have that haha. the solution that seemed the EASIEST to me is like, some technobabble explanation accompanied by the weird time travel shenanigans voyager experiences in these episodes causing their genes to revert BACKWARDS just like they do in time. :) so theyre like, legit back to normal for a bit. but the triplets remain unaffected because they were born that way. i think building up to these eps, kathryn's like DABBLING in parenting but kinda noncommittal. this is also around the time that the triplets would start i think likeee talking or walking? put a pin in it i guess lol. kathryn and tom are hyped to look like themselves again, maybe act a little overindulgent on earth, being able to not stand out and get weird looks and all that. was thinking maybe the babies dont recognize her when she looks normal and a part of her feels sad about it. eventually they turn back when they return to their own time.

s3e11 The Q and the Grey - Q being infatuated with the only hyperevolved lady in existence real? i dont have some of the important details and ideas figured out in this ep, only that i can have fun with kathryn getting turned human and chakotay getting hyperevolved for a time. :) was thinking that when Q takes janeway to the continuum, that's when she gets forcefully turned human, i think she'd decline if he tried bribing her again. subsequently ms. Q feels a little threatened by janeway and she agrees to work with chakotay to help win Q back. i think the idea i'd had was that she'd hyperevolve chakotay to try and get janeway interested in him and not Q but idk if i like that idea. or she just does it for giggles. ANYWAY janeway at this point is kinda over it in regards to getting turned human again, it doesnt work. i think she'd assure chakotay that he doesnt need to change for her. :)

s3e12 Macrocosm - liked the idea of kathryn being alone but finding philippa uninfected and crying somewhere in a jeffries tube or something so she has to carry the baby around while she saves the ship.

[red-might-be-dead]

RAHHHHHH CAN YOU TELL ME THE SILLY LORE OF YOUR UNNAMED OC???!!??!?

EHEHEEEHEEEE :DDDD YESSSSS!!!!!!

okay okay so

tw for like death and murder and lab shit and stuff, got some mad scientist type bs going on....

none of this is really set in stone btw i have a tendency to change lore over and over and over ripp

basically i just really wanted to make some kind of apocalypse/secret lab type story because all of my ocs so far have been from the same fantasy type story, so far i only have three ocs from my silly little unnamed oc's story (and all of them dont have names! shocking i know!)

so this guy, (im gonna call him 1 for now bc bro remains WITHOUT A NAME) is the son of a pretty prestigious and well know genetic engineer (1's mum is one of the three characters so far and he doesn’t have a dad lmaoo).

1's mum was researching animal/human gene splicing and also developments of diseases and how they travel from animals to humans. yk like trying to figure out how sometimes humans will contract some diseases from animals but other diseases wont get passed on.

this is why 1 has his pointy teeth (bro got his genes spliced by his mother when he was younger) the pointy teeth definitely ALWAYS had lore and definitely DIDNT occur just because i like to draw pointy teeth... definitely

okay so further down the line into 1's mums experiment there was an accident, some kind of mutation she had created had got loose and attacked a bunch of the scientists in her facility, whilst trying to escape she ends up being killed by said mutation (im still undecided on if i should make her cold and cruel or kind but slightly crazy btw... but i'll figure it out eventually)

this facility is out in the middle of nowhere and 1 is pretty much used to not seeing his mum for really long periods of time at this point so he doesn't know anything is wrong for a while. he only realised about two or three months later when the news reported some kind of strange creature in a small town pretty close to the facility, he recognised the mutation and knew that his mum had created it.

later on in the story 1 realises he isn’t actually a human he’s just another of his mothers experiments but for some reason she got attached to him and raised him like a real child (that’s why he doesn’t have a biological father lol)

he has one friend (i’m gonna call them 2 bc i don’t have a name for them either sobs) and he spends quite a lot of time with them, i haven’t got their design down properly yet but i’m pretty sure i want to give them some kind of dyed blue hair…. maybe…….. idk

1 and 2 are the type of kids to just absolutely fuck up an easy task like to the max - they would set the kitchen on fire whilst trying to make a sandwich. 2 is actually pretty clever but as soon as they spend any amount of time with 1 it’s like all of their smarts just disappear.

i think the best way to describe 1’s personality is a massive puppy that likes to bite you but doesn’t really understand it’s own strength - he’s a bit clueless and slightly blood thirsty

2 plays guitar btw, not that that really means anything it’s just a fun little fact :D

AKSHKAJSJA THAT WAS A LOT IF I HAVE FORGOTTEN SOMETHING ILL MAKE ANOTHER TEXT POST LMAO IF THERE IS ANY SPELLING OR GRAMMAR ERRORS IM SORRY SLHDKSJDJSND

[jrueships]

taking lil notes on the sauce getting a tat stream.... will be reblogging with more bcs this video is fucking long as shit plus with me always pausing to write whatever nonsense i find funny? yea, idk if ill be able to get thru this all lmao 😭 but yea this will just be lil blurbs rewritten n commented on as i watch on one device and take notes on another like a lil movie major or smthin LMAO. To shorten typing time, Sauce will be SG and tat man will just be K as his real name is Kyle. ok? ok

SG, impatient & cocky, trying to show out 4 the stream like a little loser: ay cmon bruh im ready 😤!!🤘🏿 *goes to lay down on the jets styled?? tatting bed??? idk what that is i don't get tats.. i just know they probably fucked on it cus sauce winced when he had to sit down LMAO. went from ay bruh im ready to EUAGH 😫!! Eh 😣😖!! in a millisecond LMFAO*

K: *checks himself out on camera for a split second*

K: *very polite to the stream's viewing. Apparently has never streamed or got an audience up close n personal during his tat sessions. Only shows the before and after photos so this is a new but very fun experience for him. aww, so cute <3 sauce getting him to try new things!!!! He's nervous about getting the best angles for us and he's always trying his best to please!! ( he's so service top it's Mad. it's MADDENIN!!! ) Sauce dramatic diva demanding hot n s*x fierce reporter mean fake bitch and his quiet polite and personable yet professionally firm, keeping sauce in line when he needs to fulltime cameraman part time bodyguard when the situation gets unexpectedly (or expectedly. Not everyone has Tat man's insanely loyal patience with sauce...) hostile WHEN??? Slowburn We're just workers/he's just my minion to ........... don't ask why we came out of the same bathroom at the same time STFU ?? HELLO??? TAT MAN!!!*

Chat: cook up kyle

Kyle: !! :] !! yea 😺!! im boutta cook 🥰 (HE KEEPS GETTING SO SWEETLY HYPED UP FROM SAUCES LIL AUDIENCE. IT'S SO CUTE LOL)

1:05 (around there idk none of these time stamps will be any accurate bcs i pause late after realizing smthin was funny then guestimate where it started so sorry :( ): sauce walking his big b00bies up in our face jumpscare :/ . To help Kyle zoom the camera per his chats demands. He lowkey high key very anxious and micromanaging abt kyle using his camera equipment lol. He just loves telling people what to do but also that shit is probably very expensive. But cmon sauce. Kyle the cameraman's got it!!! HE EVEN HAS THE PERFECT CAMERAMAN NAME LIKE?? Let him take care of you bbygirl ..😼

Sauce once again (a bit more gingerly this time) sits himself on his jets style seat thing and let's out a little cry of pain when his ass hits it??? sauce these bttm allegations are BEATING ur ASS lmao????

Kyle does what sauce was about to do for him and sauce kinda :/// >:( 😰😰😠. Sauce try to go five seconds without micromanaging challenge impossible. Complains about chat being able to see his facial expressions being too close up now and how he won't be able to fuck with Kyle no more cus of it cus they'll make shit is weird. Kyle simply responds ' That's love 🙂. '

Sauce goads the chat asking if he should end stream. Kyle at first thinks maybe he isn't cameramanning right and gets a little nervous/sad at disappointing sauce but quickly catches onto the strategy and joins in on the bait. The chat take it with a chorus of Nos. Girlboss sauce malewife Tat man media powercouple ftw?

2:58, K: wait turn ur head a lil bit? *Sauce looks at him* no, other way *sauce looks away, exposing neck to him and pre-ink*

K admires his work. Shows it off to the chat, tells them he's getting them right. Zooms in on sauce's neck

SOMEBODY SAID 'L NIPPLE' IN THE CHAT WHAT???? Chat language is so.... beautiful 😭

'Stop being a lil girl take the pain like a man'????? Yall sure this is twitch and not p*rnhub ??? tf?

Kyle zooms in. Chat: "glad to get the nipple off the page" HELP. my thoughts exactly

Kyle tries hiding sauces face with his zooms bcs he knows sauce was self conscious about his expressions lmao. Chat, instantly, and these are different people too. Everyone is a sadist here apparently. My kinda people 😼: 'WE NEED TO SEE HIS FACE FR' 'HIS FACE BRO WE NEED TO SEE HIS FACE' 'WE NEED TO SEE HIS FACE IF HE CRIES'

3:38 Sauce, reading the chat bcs if he doesn't have attention that he can feel for five seconds he explodes and dies: is my face in there ? <- literally just whined about not wanting his face seen bcs he'd get weird comments and ruin his very heterosexual very platonic relationship with tat man. But is now turning his whole tune around for some shred of people pleasing attention omg 🙄 poo fimbly 😑

K: nah they be clownin 😿.. *just wants to protect him*

Sauce agrees a bit then quickly changes subject to compliment himself.

Sauce notices camera needs shifting so he tries but Kyle's on it before he can. Sauce keeps trying anyways until eventually the needles settle him slougish

5:10 chat tells them to zoom out but sauce defends his cameraman: AINT NO ZOOM OUT 😾😾!! HE TRYNA GIVE YOU THE UPCLOSE LOOKS !!

Kyle zooms out anyways

Sauce whines about his nipple lol

Sg: yall weird af 😑 Yall tryna see my nipple or smthin 🤨? *incredulous look to camera*

K: FREE THE NIP!!!!! <- reading off chat, sadly

THE CHAT BULLIED HIM INTO HIDING HIS BOOBS LMAO. He got a blanket 😭 so now he's gonna be with another man... while under a blanket ? um. sauce I think this is pretty lose lose if u ask me .

Kyle wearing those black tattoo gloves gently touching sauces neck.... soft dom and not even trying to hide it 🤨?

Chat: stop moaning 😐

Sauce: my bad bruh 😔

Someone: get the tissues ready (????)

Sg: in da trenches 😼. in da trenches 😼

Someone in chat: sauce do u like when men fuck u? ( 🤔.. it's a fair ask 😳.)

Chat: the right side of my neck hurted the most (average sauce fan iq, im afraid )

Chat: SAUCE BABY START TWERKING

( now im just finding funny chat stuff cus all sauce doing rn is trying to not cry by randomly singing along to the music and kyle is working)

Chat trying to plot lies on kyle by spamming kyle messed up smthin so sauce can get worried lmao

9:40: around there, maybe a bit later, sauce starts groaning and cursing more

Chat: Sauce is it hard

Sauce asks how many people watching bcs u know he looooves an audience. Kyle doesn't know how to check so he has to stop and ask the chat

Kyle: Seven- ..... 776? 800? a thousand? man idk :(. yall play too much >:( yall play too damn much 🙄! ... i fuck with yall tho >:)

Chat trying to gaslight sauce into thinking Kyle's actually tatting a dick on his neck

I've been skipping or doing other stuff during some of the tatting. Sauce got up to try and figure out some twitch function? Mic suppression? idk. He lowkey stalling lol.

Kyle starts asking what the chat been saying around 31:40, curious.

Sauce and Kyle mumble to songs internmentedly lol

33:25 around there kyle raps to a song he rlly likes. Sauce adlibs it's cute

PAUSING THIS AT 35:10. We basically got an hour left in this jawn. YALL WE WATCHED ALOT IM PROUD!!!! OK im leaving this here for now, reblogging l a ter maybe even finishing it idk? I just need this shit sent cus im a lil nervous if it'll even load... this was a lotta work 😭 all for tatman and sauce interactions damn... ion even know this man's last name .. i need to go do strong people things now BYE see yall soon hopefully

[craw-dacious]

The things I did by Lolo-ro fic review

Chapter by chapter, until i got distracted by the story lol.

Still fairly new to marauders but am loving it.

summary review: I truly adored this fic, probably my fave Wolfstar so far. I thought the worldbuilding was fantastic, as well as the characterization of baby Harry. Fairly angsty, but with plenty of fluff to make up for it. The raising Harry idea is becoming one of my favorite tropes, and this fic did an amazing job of weaving parenthood into a world that is still filled with complexities and evil, as well as lives outside of the main characters.

SPOILERS BELOW BEWARE

Chapter One

Again, the aftermath for Remus is getting me

So so so sad, and him believing Sirius innocent  makes it worse

The traitor shit is horrible to deal with emotionally im sure

I am upset to realize just how much remus ignored harry in the books/canon

Like thats ur nephew fr come onnnn

Chapter Two

Aw he’s doing a good job as a dad

This fic is making him out to be very forgetful, fully forgot about both harry and Sirius

The pacing is much more clear in this which I enjoy quite a bit

Cutesy Christmas, cutesy harry

ALSO I LOVED THE HAGRID MOMENT

I do feel like we need to get the Weasleys involved tbh baby Ron and Harry is PEAK

Chap 3

Pls dont let that annoying ass bitch be important, if theyre in trouble bc of this shit ill kms

Shut up Hagrid he needs everything he wants his parents ARE dead brother

Okay actually I like that annoying ass bitch a lot, this is very good

I guess he actually is spoiling him tbf

Ok so he’s actually forgetful as fuck. Forgot Harry’s birthday, forgot about Sirius AGAIN.

Like actually what is going on is his brain damaged

This chapter has been depressing

The fight IN AZKABAN how will this turn into legit wolfstar if they are so mad they fight WHILE SIRIUS IS IMPRISONED

But also he didn’t talk to a single person for 12 years in canon im gonna kms

Marauders is making me realize just how shitty and sad canon was bruh, remus and Sirius were like ALONE, obvie remus did shit and wasn’t a complete waste but its just so SAD

OKAYYYY I TOLD Y’ALL I LOVE A GOOD MOODY MOMENT

Literally obsessed with alastor moody he’s so fucking cool and we BARELY KNEW HIM in the books because of FUCKING CROUCH

This chapter was incredible, good baby harry, good angst, good FIGHT (love romantic arguments, make me nostalgic) (imy [REDACTED] we fought so cutey)

Ok I think I complained earlier about this, but it’s important for there to be conflict and issues when there’s this much trauma. Great plot choice. Also makes it 20x more interesting

Fuck Peter. I fucking hate Peter.

Chapter 4

Ugh stupid muggles messing everything up

Someone should try to kill them all off or something idk they’re getting in the way

But this is shaping up to have some LEGAL ISSUES which I LOVE because im a fucking NERD <33333

Harry is so cute. I actually prefer this to the last baby Harry bc he has sm more personality.

Almost forgot the meat of this chapter omg its good im getting distracted

Sirius and Harry together was a NEED bruh actually so cute

And I talked to you kate about this earlier but remus has been different in other fics and I do kinda like him in this one, he’s more depressed and stressed than normal, but the forgetfulness almost lends itself to aloofness in a way that fits him

I very much appreciated him being so kind to Sirius. While I understand him being pissed at him for thinking he’s a traitor, the man is in Azkaban, like you’ve got to chill out, talk to him about this stuff when you have more than 15 minutes and less dementors

Anyway that scene was nice, I like the idea of their little family

Chappy 5

Good shit again

THIS is the perfect chapter length, not so long I forget what happens but no so short I have to stop reading every five seconds to review

The werewolf prejudice is a big thing in this fic, im not sure how I feel about it. Obviously from an equality standpoint, werewolves should be seen as human. Yet, there is something to the idea that the actual transformed wolf is very dangerous. I’m worried the wolfsbane study will be viewed as Remus “hiding himself” or something like that, when it should be viewed as a solution to the one thing holding werewolves back.

This can’t be compared to real life discrimination. You can’t be like “so you hate minorities” because none of the minorities I know turn into wolves once a month bruh

Anyway, Dumbledore being morally grey-ish, making mistakes but always anti-voldy. He’s such an interesting character. I like his presence in the book as well. Hagrid should come back soon he’s so nice.

Chap 6

Permanent pass <3, so cute. Having to abandon muggle friends? Not cute. Fuck Dumbledore, but only like a little

Not a dumby stan or hater tbh hes just a little silly in both directions

I’m so conflicted on this situation. Yes, it SUCKS that Sirius thought remus was the spy, but it’s not necessarily damning. It’s likely he convinced himself of it because it was the most painful option so it must’ve been the truth. It seems like fear, almost, and jealousy of the wolves over him? Might be over analyzing and overomanticizing but that is what im seeing atm.

The teaching position goes fucking CRAZY man, If remus was my history teacher my life would be GOLDEN

Do you think remus lupin would be a good addition to upper H hall yes or no

Chapter 7

Jesus fuck I forget how sad all this shit is sometimes

To begin with, the teaching position seems great. I do wish Remus would understand that he’s qualified for it

Speaking of teachers, I would love to see who the DADA teacher is, I know its not permanent but still fun

Anyway, I think 7 kids would be the end of me. I love children, and I still relate to Remus far more than Arthur in that scene, there’s actually no fucking way.

Like yes give me a shot I cannot do it, the strong drink joke was a good cover because I am sure its Arthurs greatest desire

Also, love him just dropping interest about muggles, would love to see that chat actually play out but it seems unimportant

But maybe it’ll be how he catches worm tail …

Azkaban visit was good, Sirius is being less racist, and Remus is being kind. Wish they would love each other again already but slow burn wins <3

Also you could just tell that Sirius missed harry, very cute

Chapter 8

Heart hurts, poor Sirius 

I said that remus should be nicer

Chapter 9

Okay, information has been gained

Sorry for short 8 summary

So Sirius FORGOT that he and remus broke up, which is CRAZY

There’s a whole lot of forgetting in this fic im realizing, very relatable

I would actually kill myself

I’m sitting here pondering how I would react in this situation and genuinely tweaking just imagining it

He needs to go break it off with him, he can explain, there’s not really another option for him. If he maintains this it’s going to end poorly. I’m assuming he’s going to do that anyway, as it creates the most drama and is fantastic for the plot

I do think Remus is underestimating the importance of being taken even somewhat seriously by the Wizengamot. I know it’s not what he fully wanted but it’s legitimate progress.

Chapter ten

WHAT DID I SAY HE’S NOT GONNA TELL HIM

This chapter INFURIATED ME

Also im gonna start skipping chapters bc otherwise the review will be long asf

Snape is a piece of work, obviously. Like Remus isn’t being shitty to you and you were a fucking death eater man. Also he despises children which is a red fucking flag

Just let him pet your stupid cat motherfucker

Unless its secretly regulus as an animagus that would be sick asf I saw fan art the other day where he was a cat and it was good

Moving on, im appreciating the slow burn on discovering Peter. Like they easily could have discovered him 3 chapters ago when remus was first there. 

Chapter 11 & 12

The enchanted parchment

Leaving him on delivered is crazy actually

Literally reads exactly like the GHP texts between me and [REDACTED] LMAO

“I guess I’ll talk to you later, assuming you’re at soccer, imy!!”

Actually devastated reading this im going to be honest

Lots of shit going down, forgetting and memory issues are such an interesting plot device, it makes any part of the story unreliable, and confuses the reader just a little bit. It also creates a lot of dramatic irony, which can often be very sad and tragic

Also, order members calling voldy “Voldemort” all high and mighty is a bit strange considering that they all chewed harry out about calling him “He Who Shall Not be Named”

Snape stole the parchment read it and slipped a potion into lupins chocolate that he would give to Sirius to sabotage their relationship

Bc Dumbledore told Snape everything as his extra special spy obviously

Ok so I was wrong it was dementors again. And remus told Sirius about the breakup. Which is, the right thing to do I guess

This is so hard for everybody man, Sirius’ perspective is heartbreaking

At least it shows his chats with dumby, who happens to be the funniest person in this fic

Chapters 13 & 14

Reconciliation came a bit too easily but thats alright, I want them to be happy

The amount I would give to receive a cat for Christmas. I want that so bad bruh.

Ok at least they’re acknowledging how bad Remus is with dates

Okay him being a dog seems helpful, I do feel like that should have been noticed a while ago

Honestly am feeling a bit lost in the romance, long distance pining is not my fave but hopefully Sirius will be freed before long and they can be happy for once.

I just am so curious as to why they broke up, I know thats the point but it just doesn’t make sense

Also ignore my random theories I keep throwing about, I dont actually believe snapes cat is regulus or that Snape poisoned Sirius its just fun

Chapters 15-16

They explained the plan so I know it will go horribly wrong

HELL FUCKING YEAH THEY GOT HIM THAT SNEAKY LITTLE CUNT HATE THAT MOTHERFUCKER FUCK PETER I HATE PETER

Still not happy. I dont know what I expected

2 chapters and they’ll kiss, im expecting a huge fight in chapter 17

Chapters 17-20

Ok this is strange. The relationship dynamic has developed very differently than I thought it would. They really need to figure out this memory I’m sure it all a misunderstanding or some stupid shit like that

Someone thought someone else killed somebody else

Also why is this so mirroring to me and [REDACTED] from like July forward

Distant over text/parchment, not allowed to say I love you, basically only physical, guilt for things I couldn’t remember

Except for the baby and trauma and everything

Last fic was me and remus being the same this time it’s Sirius. When am I going to consume content and not think about [REDACTED] again Im tired of him being in my brain

Chap 21-22

KATE I TOLD YOU NO I LOVE YOU FICS I HATE THIS

I also talked about [redacted] with ppl for like an hour and a half last night it was terrible

Did it again the next night bro why is that rat still in my head

23-24

The memories are throwing me for a loop. On the one hand, everything is devastatingly sad. On the other hand, they’re all being emo and need to get it together

Sirius getting “lost in his memories” is a cool idea though, I’m liking the new magic thats being explored in this fic

I need them to have a huge blowup fight. Like a massive fight that sucks and is terrible. I don’t know how they’d do it but I need it

Also I think I can take one more “oh poor Sirius” memory until I blow my brains out. Big whoop your plan failed and you were insecure about it, I’d reach out to the closest person to blame to. I blamed [REDACTED] for not winning an award at model un, not his fault. Sirius can blame Remus for his plan failing and have a moody moment then move on, trust can be rebuilt.

Last five chapters

Ok everything is happy again and the reunion went FANTASTIC

The one thing I feel like I haven’t commented on enough in this fic is Snape

His character is well done, he’s so mean and bitchy but not like completely evil which is just hilarious, I love his and Remus’s dynamic its very good

I also think his relationship with Harry is funny, and I’m glad it’s not as shitty as it started out.

“Harry, friendly and bright-eyed, took the opportunity of silence to lean onto the counter, put his face right up to the goblin’s, and say, “Meow.”

Remus pulled Harry off the counter, embarrassed, and plopped him on the ground. “Don’t meow at people, love.”

That is actually the silliest cutest thing I’ve ever read in my entire life. Literally would birth a child rn bc of how cute that is. Jesus fucking christ bruh

Can they stop making out in public. Like in front of one other person in public. Its so awk

I KEEP TRYING TO GIVE KUDOS THIS IS LIKE SUGAR BRUH SO SWEET

My criticisms are growing though, there are a few things im concerned about but im gonna finish the story before I discuss

Why can I not escape my Draco phase. One sentence about “the little Malfoy” and harry going on playdates and I RUSH to think about how that changes their school dynamic and how they treat each other and all this shit

Looks like they’re leaving some loose ends on purpose, telling not showing a lot here at the end tbh

I WANT A CHILD HE’S SO CUTE

This is the first time ive actually been obsessed with a child character hes ADORABLE

Gonna read the epilogue before writing my final review, but don’t want to take it in for my review

FINAL REVIEW:

Ok. Done. Having to write this a day after finishing because I fell asleep right after

My favorite parts

ANGST: very well done, miscommunication can sometimes be overdone but I feel like it worked this time. I loved how easily apparent the love that was still there was. 

Humor: This fic made me laugh out loud multiple times. This was mostly Harry, but there were a couple of moments from the doctor guy and Arthur that made me giggle

CHILD: literally have never seen a child portrayal that was this good. Like literally from beginning to end it was good. I’m sure some people would read this fic and say 2 yo harry is too advanced, but he’s so bright and I feel like growing up with Remus would breed him to be a talker. The accuracy of the 8 yo and 11 yo at the end was good as well, it ticks me off when people fuck up ages of a child, especially one so parenting-focused as this

Depth of world building: I could truly see this world, like I understood the flat, I understood the weasleys, I understood the dorm at Hogwarts. The scene at their graves, everything was great.

Now my weaknesses

Some underdeveloped plots

Peter: they brought up having to talk to him, made it a big deal with getting a memory and then just abandoned it and said “remus had the perfect memory.” Then, the memory was SO MUNDANE. I’m sure the author just fucked up and had to figure something out, which is fine, just was a little dissapointing.

Poison: this is another where I think the plot just ran away from the author, but I was expecting something more than “Sirius asked them to fix it and they did”

Some(?) characterizations

Remus was perfect. Sirius was a little too nice, he’s volatile and little bitt crazy and I got less of that in this fic. Sometimes it was perfect. This isn’t really a criticism, more “it could be a little better”

Overall: 8.3/10

I truly adored this fic, probably my fave wolfstar so far. However, I know this is just because I love children and loved baby harry so much, so my rating is attempting to be unbiased.

[figula]

anyway - cw for eating disorder / weight loss talk. this is gonna get really long probably. im actually ok now im just typing to get my feelies out

my alpaca arrived today! it's really nice, i will buy the rst of it for sure

after my minor menty b earlier ben cornered me on the sofa and was so lovely about it all actually. i get the feeling that the ED stuff freaks him out more than anything else that one might call Cham's Madnesses, but he was v encouraging and kind + i think we're basically on the same page really - im genuinely ok but as he put it he's concerned ill be ok until the second i fall off the ok-cliff, and i know what he means lol ofc. he was like not really surprised by any of my feelings bc he (paraphrasing this) basically was like you like to talk about it like it's all in the past but in reality you've not spent any time at all dealing w/ your eating disorder thoughts (as opposed to behaviours) and i mean he's not wrong is he lol?? ah i hate it when he's right :/ he told me to put the brakes on re: the weight loss (to be fully transparent here ive been eating in a calorie deficit on purpose for ~9? months, and i say that only bc ive danced around the truth on here bc im v v v embarrassed that i "caved" to it) for the past ? years ive been fully on board w/ the idea that there is very little that separates purposeful restriction from "real" eating disorders + i am not sure where that leaves me now to be honest. i've said this before but i think the wedding + more specifically the fact that the bride is the absolute nexus of all the ceremony just freaked me the fuck out + the thought of looking how i looked in lockdown for this event was just unbearable and i was honestly just not able to cope w/ it. i honestly dont really know where THAT leaves me either - i feel in a v weird place atm with it all - it's not the same as when i was a teenager - im happy eating v varied foods and things i would have rejected outright when i was in my starvation era - like im literally eating 3 nougat bars for my breakfast atm bc i like them + they're fuckin delicious, which doesnt feel like big trouble. but the fact remains i have been purposely losing weight + betraying my own ideals for months. and i feel very frustrated that i wasn't "over it" enough to just fucking deal? just be a fat bride? ??? i cant even tell you how many hours of curvy brides boutique i have drilled into my own eyes to try and literally like force myself to believe that i as a fat woman was worthy of anything. oh my god!! in a slightly bleak way i do think that being more able to cook for myself now and making huge huge strides wrt contamination fear really just opened the door to this again. which would be v funny if it wasnt a bit tragic lol. THE MONKEY'S PAW... anyway as i said at the beginning i feel ok now + i guess im just wondering wtf to do now like i dont want to invite the devil to dance with me and i think that's inevitably what im doing every time i purposely restrict my intake but i also dont know if im strong enough to stop dancing?? i dont mean this to sound woe-is-me or anything like i am feeling quite pragmatic about it all i just am thinking like: how do i match my desire to feel beautiful at this huge event with my desire to not be a total bellend and finally: this is a personal blog, thi sis me typing about my feelings not an instruction manual for life, i am unsure if this is something i should be posting, but i think this is the reality for a lot of women to be honesttttt so idk if pretending it's not happening is that great either what should i do lads?