#idk each day I hate it more and more
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“Oh don’t pick apart the rwrb movie and critique the fuck out of it gay people also deserve cringy movies, why can only straight people have cringy cheesy bad movies?”
The thing is than they don’t
I also criticize those movies regardless of if they’re straight or not. If it’s bad it’s bad regardless the genders involved in the romance.
I will pick apart the rwrb movie, because it’s BAD, it’s a shit movie, and you can’t change my mind about it. Not only is a horrible book adaptation, it’s also just a bad movie in itself, several plot inconsistencies than if I never read the movie I just wouldn’t get? Why does Alex make his speech before even consulting Henry and then the king tries to make Henry deny it and hide it, even tho Alex already confirmed it? Half the e-mails didn’t appear or became lines the character just say instead of write (like history huh), so what exactly is leaked? Why are there so many emails leaked when they don’t even show half of them in the whole movie? Why is the media calling them “the Waterloo letters”? Where does Waterloo come from? The complete erasure of queerness? I have a whole post about it but I really really don’t get it. Why is Alex such a shallow character in the movie??
He hates Henry for no reason other than a bad first impression, which wasn’t even that bad, he said than he needed to get out of there, while in the book he’s telling Shaan to get rid of Alex, and even then, that’s not the only reason Alex dislikes him in the book. Alex has apparently no real personality, and neither does Nora or Pez or Bea etc Henry is fine, they didn’t completely butchered him like they did with Alex but even then, well I’ll blame this one for the lack of time.
If I criticize any piece of media at all, it’s because it’s bad. I’m not a hater, I try to see things they way they are, for example there were scenes I enjoyed, like what they did with the phone calls and messages between Alex and Henry (as if they were in the same place), and the delivery of “my life is the crown and yours is politics and I will not trade one prison for another” is immaculate.
No movie is free of mistakes and bad stuff, I also critique my favorite movies, like for example dead poets society is one of my favorite movies yet it still had questionable stuff, like the whole thing with Knox and Chris and Charlie’s racism.
I feel like real reviews should have both the good and the bad, since there’s always something good, I always try to find something good to say, regardless than if I completely hated it, there must be something I enjoyed.
It just really annoys me when people act like you can’t hate on the movie because it’s queer, or the other way, when people hate on the movie because it’s queer. This also happens with the book. People love it for the wrong reasons and they hate it for the wrong reasons too.
BY THE WAY
This is no shade to the actors, I think they did an amazing job (when they casted Nicholas as Henry humanity peaked on perfect casting)
And this is criticism while having in mind the time they had to show such a character-driven story, but I think than making it a movie was the first bad choice they made, I feel like it would have worked so much better as a mini series, like Daisy jones & the six
#rant#idk each day I hate it more and more#rwrb#casey mcquiston#red white and royal blue#firstprince#alex claremont diaz#henry fox mountchristen windsor#red white & royal blue#rwrb movie
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due to personal reasons i am now firmly on team “i hope aziraphale does change heaven for the better actually (going on the assumption that his return is as straightforward as it seemed etc”
like if the alternative is just this ohhh he’s so NAIVE and SOFT and so WRONG and he’ll have to LEARN A TOUGH LESSON etc etc nonsense then yeah 1000% go for it babe knock it out of the park
i hope choosing hope and kindness pays dividends. i hope the soft traits that made other characters continually disparage and underestimate him and his intelligence turn out to be his greatest assets bc i kinda don’t give a shit about a “toughen up it’s the only way everyone else knows better” life lesson for this character
(which like honestly a lot of the rhetoric is dismissive of the fact that persistent goodness in the face of an existence of disparagement takes great strength and that at the end of the day aziraphale has always been able to stand up in his own way)
#good omens#good omens 2#good omens spoilers#aziraphale#aziraphale IS in fact a dark horse#he is consistently dismissed and underestimated and overlooked bc of how he presents himself!#even crowley does this with him (not in any sort of malicious way its a sense of protectiveness)#(i am not here to get into how aziraphale n crowley treat each other in ways that are unintentionally hurtful id be here forever lmao)#the point is that aziraphale is smart and tbh he knows more about how shitty heavens treatment has been the past few thousand year??#since he's. he's been the one getting treated badly. that whole time.#anyway theyre both right theyre both wrong and end of the day i just.#i hate the concept of a s3 that equates softness and kindness with being wrong and naive and dumb etc#it does not feel very good omens to me idk man#so i hope that's not where it goes
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Luffy not knowing about Zoro promising Sanji to kill him if he ever ends up losing himself makes me go feral because that's something they can only know about. Because Zoro's respect for life and death goes beyond anything, and Sanji knows he understands. Sanji knows that if somebody has to kill him, it's him.
And I don't even think it's because Sanji assumes Zoro's opinion of him is hatred and it would hurt less for him to do this, but because Sanji knows only Zoro would be able to treat the promise as it is. Because he would put Sanji's wishes before any feelings he has for him. It's not that Zoro doesn't care, but I think he respects people's ideals and decisions to the extent of being able to kill Sanji if he so desires.
That being said, he'd do it if there's no other way to fix it. If it's either dying or living as an emotionless machine, which is the same as dying for Sanji, Zoro would fulfill his promise. And there is just... Something about Luffy not knowing. Their captain. The man they're devoted to the most as if he were their God. Luffy doesn't know. It's something only the captain's wings are aware of and the thought of these two keeping this from Luffy until the end is just insane. Not even trying to make it romantic here, but the bond and respect these two have for each other is crazy.
Maybe it's the poetry of it all, too. Somebody like Zoro, who has looked at Death in her face multiple times and said "no", ending Sanji's life, who wants to give in to death to not experience a fate worse than death for him.
#bean posting zosan this is so rare and weird don't get used to it sweeties#kind of tired of people jumping to extremes with these two btw like-#they don't hate each others but they're also not best friends-- respect is something they value even more than those things#they're not good for my mental health they make me go insane#this wasn't meant to be in a shippy way but idk if you wanna see it as romantic you do you bc it could def be#it depends on my mood#i consider myself a zosan shippers on random days#you could also say sanji thinks zoro doesn't give a fuck about him and that's why he tells him bc we know this guy's self-worth is awful#but i also like to think it's because zoro's views on life and death are exactly what sanji needs#luffy would try to look for a way to fix this and they others wouldn't be able to do it tbh#i mean if it ever got too serious i think luffy could do it but do you really think sanji's gonna make him go through that#if zoro has to die he wants to die by luffy's hand but if sanji has to die he wants to die without involving their captain#idk if that makes sense okay i haven't slept at all tbf#one piece#black leg sanji#roronoa zoro#zosan
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Sometimes I need the yaoi to be toxic and sometimes I need the yaoi to be happy. In this case I've been listening to Maroon 5 and
#heirs art#dead plate#rody lamoree#vincent charbonneau#rody x vincent#rodent#do I even use that one??#Also I dont know if I even really have an idea for this#its like an au but not really because I listen to one more night after my 8 hour shift and then let all my retail anger out via gay men#more of toxic au but the general concept is they like each other but they hate each other and they cant really leave each other#you know run of the mill toxic gays#has it been just me or do we say yaoi more then we used too now a days as a joke but its lowkey become the norm idk#Im chillin w it but its become apart of my vocab#anyway hate gay ppl (hits my weed pen)#They match each others freaks
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hey so im not white
#spacie spoinks#lol#uhhh#thought i should clear the air about that#my family is from africa!! i have posted about it many times#although ppl who are new 2 my blog prolly dont know that cuz i dont advertise it#im also lightskin and draw myself like that so i get the confusion...but like. still#think about that before you send me hate mail i guess? idk#my wording on the post was based on me assuming a difference in discrimination between poc who are darker skinned#and poc like me who are lighter skinned who may not face the same things#b/c there is a big difference and it felt wrong to group myself with poc who will be suffering the most b/c of their darker skin color#yk?#anyway#instead of sending hate mail go drink some water and realize that we are on the same side here!!#i was also under severe distress when i made that post so like. of course its not gonna be 100% grammatically correct oml#some of you are....more upset about a typo than you should be#chat remind me 2 not make posts about political stuff theres racists in my notes again#always happens. jesus.#last post im gonna make about this!!!#have a good day!!#dont infight with each other#lift each other up an allat
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something good.
#hello there is something wrong with them !!!!#this idea has not left my mind for DAYS#and i stayed up too late working on it skdjkd#but this is a conversation i had planned#an argument after emile flirts with the waitress#he just wants someone to be soft with him T^T#and treat him like none of this happened#and estinien is like fine then. if you want it so badly then i’ll do it#and their relationship gets infinitely more complicated#they love each other as much as they hate themselves#idk if i’ll ever finish writing it but gosh western au itches my brain just right#ANYWAY#ffxiv#oc: emile jenidaut#estinien varlineau#wolstinien#western au
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It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.
#I fucking hate having bpd#while I’m at it I don’t understand the fuckin audacity some people have to say they love you and do horrible things to you#I feel so stupid#I feel so stupid for believing all the lies#but I was so in love and put him on such a pedestal that I just allowed it all.#thinking about someone constantly and grieving over them and knowing they’re perfectly fine and to them you don’t exist#I’m still in such a state of grief and I don’t understand why time hasn’t healed#it honestly feels like it’s gotten worse w time#I just torture myself but I can’t help it my brain wants me dead#it’s so painful I feel so fucking stupid#being abandoned with no closure by someone who’s your entire world#for someone they were unfaithful to you with multiple times (I don’t even know how many and dony want to know) immediately#like that was the plan all along#he took our cat hundreds of miles away and I don’t even know if he still has her or if she’s still alive and I miss her every day#I never loved someone like that and it feels like the heartbreak is actually physically killing me#i spent 1/5 of my entire life with him#I was my prettiest and had the best body at the time and I wasted it on someone who didn’t appreciate me#not wasted. it wasn’t wasted. we had some incredible times together#I’ll never be that beautiful again#and now idk what do so bc i can’t decide which is worse: being alone and isolating or loving deeply and ending up horribly hurt all over#it’s all just so upsetting.#and I feel so stupid for allowing it all#he knows more about me than anyone and he made me feel like he loved me so much sometimes and then did horrid things and it’s so fucked up#nobody read this I’m so embarrassed and horribly broken#it traumatized me so much there was so much abuse and pain idk if I’ll ever recover#I deserved it but it still hurts my heart#I was so mentally ill and sick I know it had to have been miserable to be around me#there are so many things only he understands and knows about me and I need to talk about them I j wanna b able to b there 4 each other#but that girl is so beyond insecure and controlling so. if I want to talk to who fuckin gets me I’m just fucked#why lead someone on like that for years knowing you’re going to abandon them the second it’s convenient
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god i finally watched new episodes my honest reaction is jgiwoaoKzmxmkwkakkak
#it kinda doesnt feel real for me idk why#like i do not actually process all of it??#tho I DO have ideas and thinking i did pay attention#maybe i've just had a wild day i guess#but also oh god vex'ahlia broke my heart#twice#first time were when scanlan was talking how he couldn't be at two places at the same time to help 'em and she said nobody gives a fuck#i feel so bad for scanlan rn i love him#haven't watched campaing to the bard's lament yet but oh fuck im too spoiled i do know what happens where (a little bit)#the second time was when she said she really cares for percy i started crying at that moment#also im a lil bit disappointed cuz i thought we would get percys death and vex's spech but we got “i open the door completly naked” scene ->#and im very happy we got it like oh wow i didn't expect that#but idk im just a girl and i love percahlia's slowburn#since i watched 64 eps of actual campaign it become hard for me to not compare campaign and tlovm cuz obviosly its very different#but with percahlia in tlovm we don't have hours and hours of campaign context#(we don't have percy making her arrows)#and i understand why cuz 100+ streams 3+ hours each is one thing and animated series with 12 eps of 25 minutes is another#but as i said previosly it is very hard for me to not compare it#by the way i do think changes in tlovm make sense#cuz like?? i think vex is more sharpy in tlovm than in campaign?? like#like she punced scanlan in first season and in campaign they are kinda good friends and i really love them??#*punched#and i think she's more ?? bossy i guess?? idk how to put it into words but in my head it makes sense “i open the door completly naked” ->#goes earlier than “i shouldve told you its yours” cuz shes playing pretend even more than in campaign???#acts like its casual when its actually isnt AT ALL#and im glad percy said “what is it i want” to vex cuz its kinda like that scene in campaign when percy talked to vax#when he called them all family for the first time and said he's trying to find what he wants in life#i love percy and vax dynamic btw#i wanted to write even more here but apparently i can do only 30 tags wtf#they want me to actually write posts oh no. hate to put it all in tags but im too nervous abt posting on the internet
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actually stunned by how gay The Beatles has been all this time and I just never knew
#like its always just been there in my life but i just never paid attention#my university roomie was obsessed w them and had several beatles posters that i looked at every day#so stuff like the pictures of them from the let it be album are like engrained into my brain#and yet i never knew the lore??#nor did i know until recently that they were actually all high school buds nor did i know they wrote their own music#nor that they genuinely basically invented modern bands n using the studio the way they did etc. so all that was very impressive and cool#but THEN on top of that omg the angsty gayness of john and paul#like all i knew previously basically was that john was a thing w yoko ono and paul had a young wife recently#i had at one point heard of people shipping j&p together and was just kinda like wow i guess people will ship anything#I DIDNT KNOW#that they were actually like that cute and that insane together and that their song writing together was like an actual marriage#anywayz the old pictures and videos of them are just like jesus look how they look at each other i dont think it was just being bros#i am sort of in the camp of they prob didn't act on it for real but there was def some insane tension/chemistry going on#and then ofc once youre aware of this their songs take on so many possible meanings outside of just singing about their gfs and wives....#anyways i just have to vent about this somewhere bc im actually shocked at how this has just passed me by all these years#and it definitely was not on my bingo card for 2024 to fixate on the beatles but here we are lol#more proof to me that my ultimate fave trope or wtv is 'besties to enemies when really they actually probably wanted to be lovers'#gets me every time!!!!#whats been fun about this rabbit hole is how just every single one of my expectations has been reversed as well#i went in assuming i would like them best in this order:#(1) george (2) ringo (3) paul and (4) john#i was sure i would hate john i thought he sounded so pretentious and like such a douche#but no actually he is my fave one and it's literally in reverse order for me i find george my least fave#(i like his music and feel bad for how he got ignored in the band but i like him the least)#and then i literally am john paul ringo george in order of faves now#i just love when i get surprised like that idk it keeps me on my toes and keeps things exciting and fresh#and yes john is indeed pretentious and a douche but i didn't know he was also funny and vulnerable and that i like his voice and songs#the most in the bunch almost every time as well#the beatles#p
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ngl babes idk how much longer i can do this 😭
#personal#i know not everything is for me and thats fine#but idk im getting such fatigue with this band without it being the whole actual band#i know intimate gigs are important and special but like just continually doing these tiny runs#building up the hype and demand and the prices#knowing people keep getting their hopes up and get more desperate each time#and like saying everything is super limited and then adding more things#but never enough so that everyone gets a chance to experience something or is fully satisfied#it just feels super fucked like their management is just doing everything they can to squeeze every last penny out of people#without committing to a full tour#sorry im a bit drunk so im being quite hyperbolic but idk man im so over this whole project lol#i miss kyle and woody and will :(#like truly i look back at the old tour photos and im like those were the days 😭#this is now a full hate blog NOT just a joke hate blog#its not that deep lmao just im probably gonna not be so active with the blog until proper bas5 cause ampersand is pissing me off rn icl#girl imagine hating blue sky sm you start boycotting the entire album run 😭
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when you say outsiders do you mean the book i had to read in like 6th grade for requires reading or is it something else? bc i remember that book was Great but also Not what i wanted to do over summer break
I do mean that book, and the 80’s movie, and now the musical which has rekindled my obsession
#also watching the 13 episodes made of the worst quality 1990s tv show on YouTube#worst quality in both ways#content wise because S.E. Hinton herself says she hates the show with passion and it’s so OOC#and worst physical quality because as someone on twitter said it’s like it was filmed on a Nintendo 3DS#it’s so grainy the characters all meld together#makes you feel like you just got your eyes dilated#and there’s like no other way to watch it than on YouTube#so that I’m just doing for fun because it’s so bad it’s good#I’ve basically spent the last 2 months reading every other Hinton book and watching the other movies#Tex is my fave after The Outsiders#one day I’ll see the musical#idk when but they gotta tour sometime right?#but yeah I’ll admit it’s not a fandom I thought I��d get sucked back into as hard as I did#im just such a sucker for brothers looking out for each other#I still have more plans for SOB tho so I’m working on it
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some of us r sane and the rest of us spend 5 hours drawing their tf2 ocs
i was gonna do more but um. no. not right now. another day mayhaps.
anyways i finally finished vampire medic and i also designed scene scout which was an idea i never talked about but ive had in mind for a bit xD yeah i hope u enjoy :)
#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 medic#tf2 engineer#tf2 scout#tf2 oc#tbh scene scout does not look one bit like scout#which i kinda hate#but thats okay#i know tf2 takes place in the 70s but if new zealand is literally atlantis and there are fucking robots and modern day earbuds#than scene fashion can exist too. sure. why not!#i might draw the red counterparts of these guys#these r all blue team fellas#scene scout doesnt have a red equivalent but carl (engie) has roboneer and vampire medic has lovely medic#question for the medics do we do vampire and lovely yaoi or heavymedic . idk which id prefer in this case#idk . they could both be fun dynamics#vampire and lovely might be more interesting though since vampire medic is relatively normal and lovely medic is insane#so if you have any input on that let me know . its not rhetorical#anyways i need to make more tf2 ocs#there are no heavies#no snipers . no spies . there are 2 soldiers but theyre so hard to draw i give up everytime i try#1 scout. 2 pyros (3 if you count pyro bug). 2 engineers . no demos.#ugh i gotta make sure each team has at lrwst one of each class#i was repurposing my oc adrian into a tf2 oc because he is both french and carries a sniper rifle on his back#and blah blah blah sniper spy blah blah blah#anyways im yapping sorry. might go to sleep soon. kinda want to go eat first though#so im gonna go grab a cookie#byebye chat baii bai abibaba bai :33
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ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD
Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!
#I want NO MESSAGES regarding this. let me just be upset and alone#you spend most of your life trying to not succumb to sick brain but honestly I don't think it's worth it in the long run#my life is for better or worse....decent. but I've lost the drive and happiness to really DO anything a long time ago. like whats the point#the only reason I havent killed myself yet is cause Im too lazy (and dont have access to a gun for a quick getaway)#and I'm saying all this DESPITE having stuff to look forward to in the near future. it's like AUGH whats the POINT IM always gonna suffer#why does mental health take such a toll on ppl. this shit sucks ass. and I still feel excited for things in the future too? somehow?#but I also really want to die so. idk man. idk. maybe if I fall in love with someone then I can be distracted but all my walls are up#what's the point in anything anymore. *I* have to take the steps to improve myself and my situation#and I'd rather die. anyways who wants to make a pact that once we reach 40 we will marry each other#that might be fun#also my brain has gotten so bad that I am literally considering joining a hiking club to get out more and I FUCKING HATE HIKING#but I should probably do something out of my comfort zone to push myself and who knows maybe I will find a new passion#but let me tell you about the anxiety - oh BOY it's starting to act up again. hahahha#ah well sometimes you just need to scream your feelings out in the tags to get a lil clarity from the brain fog#one day I will fucking die/kill myself but for now I'll just try to make the best out of. whatever the hell this stupid life is. *shrug*#(but hey if any professional hitmen are reading this. feel free to. heh. you know ;) )#also I need to get back to art#gotta do my paid work and that one pic I lined months ago. and clay stuff *continues to bed rot another week because hahahahahahaha*#ah I wish I didn't fail all those years ago. then I would be free. I wish I was free#ok goodnight I promised myself that I would do paid work when I wake up tomorrow so hopefully no more migraines -pray emoji-
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Sorry for being late today coming online, a lot has happened and I am trying to think about the best way to organize this blog going forward. For now though I will try to get the list updated quickly and read through my messages/@'s
#meg talks#mainly thinking about how best to spotlight people's fundraisers because so many are gaining and losing traction periodically#and some of my posts seem to get more reach than others#mostly what troubles me is i think that the more campaigns i boost the less effective it is for each campaign#i think that the small batches of donation matching campaigns that i organized with other people was the most effective thing so far#bc it guaranteed at least one donation to each campaign#i think i'm going to try to make other small batch posts too each day#like ''here are some campaigns that are close to their goal/low on funds/almost to the halfway mark or some other milestone/etc''#but idk. i just feel troubled and i think some people who have reached out to me think i have more reach than i actually do#i have less than 3k followers and a lot of them are inactive blogs from over the past ten years#ofc that still isn't nothing and im going to keep doing what im doing but im afraid people might be reaching out to me#thinking that i'll be able to give their campaigns more visibility than i actually can#im grateful that my master list has gotten some traction but the longer it gets the tougher it is to single ppl out#i don't know. if people have suggestions please let me know#for now i would really really appreciate volunteers to help w the donation matching campaigns#if i can have ppl committing to donating like 5 bucks to a handful of campaigns once or twice a month#then at least that's something that IS guaranteed u know... though i feel ashamed that i quit my job#and can't guarantee much myself until i find a new one#idk im just troubled and i'm not going to stop boosting campaigns but i hate the thought of getting ppl's hopes up and not delivering
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oxley bom pod was talking about the friendly atmosphere in the paddock today and they brought up vale as someone who would make himself hate his opponents in order to beat them. they mentioned biaggi before saying vale didn’t need to make up a reason there lol, and the gibernau, stoner, lorenzo, marquez. thought it was interesting to hear them say that especially since oxley specifically had a particularly close working relationship with vale!
got around to listening to the podcast rather belatedly + had a chat about this general topic that helped me organise my thoughts on this a bit. I transcribed the most relevant comments - probably some small errors because of cross-talk and like... I'm a fast transcriptionist but can't be bothered to properly do it, here:
O: One is because racing is so fucking complicated now. [...] They've got so much to do, so much pressure - to have the negative energy of anger and hatred is actually - B: It's a waste. O: It's a bad thing, you're just wasting your energy. I mean it depends on the character, okay - B: So maybe Vale was the last who really needed to hate somebody to give him - and now even Vale invites Casey to his ranch to ride with him. But he really needed to - It was not difficult for him to hate, but he - Some riders he really looked for a reason to hate them even more, because then he could dig deeper in himself - because he was just a happy chap - in order to beat them. O: Max Biaggi. B: But it was easy to hate Max! That was not very difficult. Sete Gibernau, basically he needed to try - O: Casey Stoner. Sete Gibernau. Marc Marquez. B: He hated Vale probably before Vale hated Casey! But that's another podcast. O: Yeah, I think so. No, definitely, definitely, definitely. [...] Some people - they get fired up by hating other people, and that's fair enough.
so yeah. I mean, qualified agreement, I guess? they're definitely right about casey hating valentino before valentino hated casey lol. if valentino ever really hated casey at all. which is not necessarily a mainstream take, so it's nice to hear it!
I also agree with this general take about... y'know, the creeping professionalisation of the sport and how that affects how likely you're going to get fun drama. goes beyond just hours spent looking at data and also about... having a bit of a life, having time to actually form a personality. and as I've said before, it's the fans! clickbait news + social media featuring partisan fans, who aren't just going to read every statement but also react to every statement like it's life or death shit. pecco and jorge have gotten push back for some incredibly, deeply, ridiculously mild comments these last couple years. they HAVE to phrase everything they say as inoffensively as possible while still getting their points across, and even then they'll generally be jumped. like, forget valentino, how do you think casey would have fared in this current media environment? up against a fanbase as partisan as valentino's - or marc's nowadays? not well is the answer! I think to some extent you can get away with this stuff more depending on people's perceptions of you, so marc and increasingly pedro will generally be fine... but on the flip side, the pecco's, the casey's, the jorge x2's of this world... everything they say gets read in the worst possible light, but now everyone's just so much louder about it
but this ask was more about valentino than the current landscape, so I'll get back to him. I do think it is a bit of an issue if you frame it as a completely either-or issue - at the end of the day, most competitors will probably motivate themselves through their enemies at least a little. pecco definitely uses negative emotions to fire him up, people criticising him and the like. casey absolutely used them, often directed at valentino. all the comments from the haters to fire them up right, to show everyone how wrong they are. on a psychological level, there is not something *fundamentally* different between using your rivals or the fans or the press to motivate yourself - it's still the same underlying motivational process (and indeed the podcast references lawson's distaste for the press). casey signs off his first every grand prix win by saying how nice it was to beat a spanish rider sponsored by the circuit, like are we calling that pure love for the game? he and mostly martin and to a somewhat lesser degree pecco do share a tendency to... believe the world is out to get them, and use that to fire themselves up. idk if casey strictly needed to do that or if it was just ingrained at a young age and became a stable self-perpetuating way in which he viewed the world but also, it doesn't really matter, right. maybe in both valentino and casey there is a pure unpolluted soul who could have enjoyed winning just for the sake of winning, but in practise it's clearly more complicated than that. as has been recently discussed in quite some depth in this parish, late 2007!casey was getting sympathetic interview write-ups that described his mentality as informed by 'bitterness and rejection'. including bitterness at valentino, who at that point in time was not meaningfully reciprocating any of that stuff!
so I do have a bit of a bone to pick with this idea of 'the last guy'. valentino didn't 100% motivate himself by hating his enemies, the blokes after him didn't do so 0%. I think of the aliens casey is probably the most similar to him by this metric... some are definitely less inclined to do so. lorenzo's a bit of an odd case where at times it felt like he was better at making other guys hate him than necessarily hating them himself... complicated guy but I think he actually really did want to mostly fuel himself in a positive manner, except then for various reasons both external and internal he needed to also draw a bit more from. the darkness. marc is more likely than either valentino or casey to just fight to win for the sake of winning... then again you do have cute little incidents like misano 2019 where marc - off the back of two back-to-back last lap defeats - miraculously happened to find an extra bit of motivation through a spat in qualifying after duly harrying the yamaha's all weekend. again, it's a question of degree, right. marc is just inherently less restless than valentino and less inclined to think the world is out to get him than casey, which are all contributing factors
with valentino, I think I disagree a teensy bit in terms of framing more than I do in substance. first off, not to be a broken record on this, but obviously all of these feuds were very different, involving very different emotional landscapes. I don't think it's correct to say valentino needed an enemy to fire himself up, but he did always need something. some mission to dig his teeth into, some way of making the whole thing exciting. of making it fun! I'm not all that convinced of this happy-go-lucky characterisation of valentino - a lot of the time he had to go to an awful lot of effort to keep himself entertained, and when that didn't work he could get pretty miserable. he needed to keep himself stimulated, he needed to stop himself from feeling lonely, he needed to give himself a purpose to work towards. hatred did help him in a motivational sense, and he's talked in his autobiography about how anger has made him ride faster. it's useful... up to a point. it's just not a uniform thing across rivalries
my sense is that it comes down to two things. 1) he needs something to motivate himself and get excited, be it a rival or whatever. and 2) he needs some distance from his rivals. motivating yourself through a rival is not quite the same thing as motivating yourself through an enemy. for instance!! casey was only really his enemy once they were no longer on-track rivals - it was unrelated to actual competitive calculus, and was in some ways more about casey than it was about valentino. when valentino did that shit to casey at laguna 2008, he's not like... mad at casey. he doesn't hate him. he's gleeful at least in part because of how obviously pissed casey is, but he doesn't hate him. because he doesn't need to hate casey to want to beat him! casey is already so considerable a challenge that beating him is reward enough in itself - he's this super tricky puzzle for valentino to work away at... and when he comes up with the answer at laguna 2008, he's delighted. he doesn't really hate jorge in 2009 either - dislike, yes, hate, no. he's already plenty stimulated by the challenge of beating his feisty young teammate... he doesn't need anything else. he gets through 95% of the 2015 season with barely any animosity with his title rival - there, he would have seen it as distracting from his primary mission of winning his tenth in a way that was entirely disconnected from any particular rival. he also runs into the problem that it feels like any psychological warfare feels like it's getting aimed more at marc than jorge - but that's entirely accidental, he isn't TRYING to fuck with marc in the middle of the season. why would he!! and jorge refuses to be fucked with on the track because he's just never in the same postcode as valentino, and valentino isn't attempting to fuck with him off the track. he's barely even doing like,, mild mind games, like they're quite actively friendly the entire year
(I do sometimes think you can do a bit of displacement here where you don't necessarily need to hate the person you're actively fighting to get the job done - cf marc at misano 2019, also... tbh casey 2011-12 kinda had that vibe where he was getting all that energy out of his system in valentino's direction and could then keep things civil with his actual title rival. there's a LITTLE bit of that 2015 even pre phillip island but mostly valentino does have a more early 2008 'we move in silence' vibe or whatever that pecco tweet read. this is the restlessness thing, right - he kinda needs to fill his brain with SOMETHING)
which brings us to the second element: needing some distance. zero problem with biaggi, which is kinda the training wheels feud in that it takes a bit of a life of its own before valentino REALLY was intending it to. he's a kid (literal eighteen year old) who's kinda snarky about biaggi in the press and biaggi takes it EXTREMELY poorly and confronts him about it and it kind of spirals from there. with casey + jorge, valentino ensures that they never GET too close. I do think there is an element of... y'know, not wanting to be close friends with the guys who are your title rivals, because it's harder to beat people you care about and deprive them of the thing they want most in the world. which I actually think is pretty normal!! valentino's problem is that on a few occasions he has ended up in rivalries with blokes he was at some stage close in - and either he preemptively withdraws as with marc and... ? probably...? melandri...? - or the relationship deteriorates and then blows up as with sete and also marc. the 'preemptive withdrawing' bit does suggest a degree of self-awareness with regards to his own competitive process - and as has been previously argued in this parish, valentino's relationship with marc developing as it did was in large part due to his competitive situation 2010-14. the two of them falling out was probably always going to happen if they were competing, the two of them falling out that badly required valentino's stint in the competitive wilderness to let him lower his guard to such an extent
so that's the argument in broad strokes. yes, valentino can use enemies to motivate himself - he certainly enjoys having rivals, he enjoys fucking with them, he enjoys figuring them out and measuring himself against them and also a little bit of competitive edge. that doesn't mean he needs enemies per se, or certainly he wouldn't have seen some of his rivals in quite such extreme terms (casey in particular of course felt differently). he did need SOMETHING to motivate him... rivals, definitely - enemies, perhaps. and he also needed a bit of distance from those he was competing against. which post-sete he tended to preemptively enforce, except that one time when he didn't, and when it wasn't preemptively enforced it did have a tendency to blow up rather spectacularly. so in essence, you still end up at the same conclusion, right - valentino did get a lot out of having enemies, did motivate himself with them, did need to beat someone. but the working process is a bit different as I see it. sometimes making enemies is about emotional regulation, y'know. feuding as a healthy outlet for competitive tension. as it should be
#'why does nobody do drama anymore' says local social media user who exorcised a rider they're not a fan of for a mildly bitchy comment#don't like to vague post but i remember posting that thing about valentino saying everyone's too nice these days#and seeing some interpreting it as a dig at pecco. but like i'm pretty sure valentino has a baseline level of sympathy -#- for the amount of stupid discourse pecco faces! that's quite literally *in the stuff he's saying in that interview quote*#//#brr brr#clown tag#batsplat responds#idk i do think there's SOMETHING about the idea that athletes are too busy to hate each other but...? surely not entirely#ive refrained from saying this before but like. full disclosure. just this once.#i think part of my problem is that EYE motivate myself in competition in quite a. negative way#so for obvious reasons i also find the casey/valentino approach way more instinctively relatable than love and friendship corner#*tennis player voice* idt hating people takes any effort at all#like this isn't distracting. it's easy#the real trick is hating them while also chatting to them in a friendly way at every opportunity to make it harder for them to hate YOU#and that's where we'll leave that!!#but idk maybe it's because where i come from u see people's faces when ur competing against them#like you are deliberately making somebody whose face you can see miserable!! you need to do SOMETHING emotionally about that#everybody needs to learn to manage this. if you're up 4-0 it's so fucking easy to feel pity and so fucking dangerous#some tennis players can go into robot mode or something but i can't!! i will feel something for my opponent so it cannot be empathy#idk if this is 100% projection but my sense is with vale he kinda inevitably engages with the people around him for better or for worse#and if you're like that you do kinda have to make sure you really really really want to beat your opponent. otherwise you have A Problem#i think a lot of discussion of the psychology of these guys could do with returning to how they are actually there to like. win shit#u don't always have to pathologise that like it is Part Of The Game#'five feuds is the sign of an empath' no i'm not saying that. but i do think he's an emotional rider and not everyone's quite like that!!
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You don't understand, I want James to hate Regulus, resent him, crush him into nothing, blame him for everything. I want Regulus to feel the pain until he bend, I want the idea of reconciling with Sirius to be a mare midsummer night's dream, I want him to be reduced to nothing, physically and mentally, and then I want him to raise from there, bottling the same amount of hatred and resentment if not more for James Potter.
I want the two of them to clash, to fight, to continue hurting each other, each word that falls from one's mouth mark a scar on the other's chest.
I want to see them break and cry, knowing that even after everything they still work to reach to the same goal, and they need to work together.
They need to wipe their tears and face each other in the morning as if nothing happened, still hating and hurting.
#we need more angst#and we definitely need dark James#like bro Reg took everything from him he should at least resent him for it#idk but toxic Jegulus is top tier for me#and I love how even though they 'hate' each ither they still care and definitely they still remember their days together#which is kinda sad lol#people write some toxic please#regulus black#james potter#jegulus#starchaser#james x regulus#regulus x james#dead gay wizards#marauders#the marauders era
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