#idk but i like the tension and how fun the series is and how well its paced

[lemongogo]

they should get to kill each other at least twice .i think

[imflyingfish]

Btw im on rewatch 3 of the rats smp in a year

[luvyeni]

LUCIFER ✦ ( 02z series masterslist & intro )

pairing ‎⸝⸝⸝ demon!02z x female!reader

𓄷 warnings 𓈓 murder (sunghoon has a back story and your grandma had some problems). death. supernatural themes. pwp. some angst. some fluff. will add more if needed...

genre. smut mdni. supernatural au. demon au.

nia's notes. a few weeks ago i got an ask to do a fic based on lucifer— so why not make it a series? the song gives me demon vibes idk why, but i hope everyone who reads it will like it,, all the fics will have bits and pieces from each other, but you can read stand alone if you want. ENJOY!!!

(🎧) ...playlist: lucifer ( 02z ), fatal trouble ( enhypen ), bite me ( enhypen )

TAGLIST. ASK TO BE ADDED !

THE DEMON IN MY CLOSET ...

wc. 6.1k+

synopsis. a week into moving into your deceased grandmother's mansion; everything goes smoothly; you've gotten most of your grandmothers things out of the house; still wearing the necklace you found everything is going good— except the door to your closet that won't stay closed.

𓄷 warnings smut mdni. mentions of abuse. mentions of death. oral (f. receiving). unprotected sex. softdom jake.

STATUS: READ HERE

THE DEMON IN THE KITCHEN ...

wc. 5.2k+

synopsis. sunghoon didn't want anything to do with you really; the only reason why he agreed is because jay had the upper hand on his vote. he hated your grandmother, he wished he could avoid you forever— so why is he currently sitting in your kitchen wondering why you've come home late?

𓄷 warnings... smut mdni. mentions of murder. sunghoon actually hates you. attempted murder ( twice ). reader likes some weird stuff. sexual tension. oral ( m. receiving ). rough sex. degradation.

STATUS: READ HERE

THE DEMON IN MY MIRROR ...

wc. 4.7k+

synopsis. he watches you through the mirrors of the house; watches how you interact with the boys, even sunghoon. he's enchanted by you; you're meant to be his; theirs, he can feel it— knowing that your time is almost up here, it's time he finally introduces himself.

𓄷 warnings jay is half human. mentions of a curse. jay is guiding her in her head. exhibition kink? mutual masturbation. oral ( m. reciveing ). unprotected sex.

STATUS: READ HERE

FOREVER OURS ...

wc.

synopsis. it's your last week here; you have a decision to make; will you put the necklace away leaving them behind— or will you start your new life in the city; not with your parents but with three new demons???

𓄷 warnings foursome, oral ( m & f receiving ), unprotected sex, breeding kink, rough sex , double penetration, lots of cum, heavy degradation

STATUS: READ HERE

you were freshly graduated from college; you should be spending your last summer as a non working adult having fun with your friends— hell doing an internship for your future company; anything really, anything would be better than this. because instead of doing any of that; you were stuck going to the middle of wherever emptying out your dead grandparents mansion.

“I didn't know the lady.” you tried to complain about it to your parents. “Mommy, this was your parents, why can't you do it?” your mother and her mother; your grandmother, never really got along growing up; your grandmother never approved of your father, so it put a strain on their relationship, which resulted in your mother moving out and moving to the city. She then married your dad and had you a year later.

you met your grandmother; well your grandmother met you, because your eyes were barely open, having been on earth a month when your mom came back home so your grandparents could meet their only grandchild, your mom told you that was the last time you saw your grandparents— they did send christmas presents, and birthday cards with a hefty check in it. “I didn't know anything about her except she was extremely generous when it came to money.”

your grandfather passed when you were five, that was the last time your mother went back, for his funeral. Instead of going into a home, your grandmother chose to stay in the huge home; by herself and live out the rest of her days, which she did; she died in her room, being found by her caretaker in the early morning.

The funeral was small; and you were being nice by saying that— it was only you and your mother; your father didn't bother to show, the lady didn't like him. Why would he bother? After putting her in the ground next to her husband, your mother was ready to put that part of her life to rest finally… that was until you got her will in mail.

“Everything?” your mouth hung open. “She's giving you everything? I thought she hated you?” your mother scoffed. “she didn't really have a choice, she cut all her family off; and she would rather be buried with the money than to give it to a charity.” your mother said. “at least she left you some.” she pointed. “to my granddaughter— she couldn't even remember your name.”

That's how your parents were able to retire early, with the huge settlement of money and new house, they decided to settle down and live out the rest of their days in solitude. “So why can't you do it?” you said, your mother turned to you as seriously as ever. “she died in that house, she was a spiteful woman, the type to find a way to become a ghost just to haunt me just in case I brought your father in the house” she said. “I want you to go up there and clear it of all her things and then we'll be up there in the early fall.”

That's how you found yourself driving up the extra long driveway to the huge mansion; the vines growing up the walls really added to the ghostly aesthetic. “she had a caretaker but not a gardener?” you parked right in front of the house, getting out of the car. “This house is scary.”

“Girl, we're having so much fun!” Your friend, Yeji, yelled into the phone. “really?” you said sarcastically. “I could totally hear you over the blasting music in the background.” you heard her giggle, before she told you to hold on. “Okay I'm alone.” The low music confirmed that. “Did you make it up there safely?”

You settled on a room, it was huge much like the rest of the house, unpacking the clothes you would need for the rest of the summer. “Is the house nice? Does it come with a pool?” You scoffed; “this house was made in the 1600’s , no it doesn't have a pool.” you said. “and it's okay, if you like creepy dim lighting and cold hallways even though it's 84 degrees outside.”

“Yikes.” she said, you nodded. “Yeah, this lady was loaded, but god did she not have any taste.” your face turned up in disgust. “Hopefully my parents will brighten this place up when they get here.”

After talking to yeji a bit, you let her go back to the party; at least one of you could enjoy the summer— meanwhile you had to find someone to eat. You weren't stupid the town was like a 30 minute drive out, so you made sure to pick up enough groceries to last you at least a week on your way here. Looking through the options, you settled on ramen; cause there was no way you were cooking anything else after a 5 hour long drive.

taking your bowl of noodles, making your way back to the room, you pass the many portraits of your mother as a child and a teenager— for your mother and grandmother to never get along, there surely were many; after making it back to your room, sitting the bowl on the nightstand.

Unfortunately there was no wifi, but you had data so that was good; you'd definitely had to change that wifi situation soon though, your mother was just obsessed with the Internet as you, there was no way she was coming here without it. Eating your noodles, scrolling through the stories with envy in your eyes, of all your friends enjoying their summers.

After finishing your food, and making yourself depressed; you decided to just go to bed, and start fresh in the morning— where you actually had to clean out her things.

The next morning you woke up at 11:30 feeling a little better than before, starting your day with a shower since you didn't have one in the morning; stripping yourself of your clothes, stepping into the warm shower, letting the water hit your skin, you let out a sigh of satisfaction; at least the water made you feel better.

after cleaning yourself; getting rid of yesterday, you stepped out of the shower, the foggy mirror in front of you. turning around to turn the water off— you turned around to face the mirror again. “what the fuck.” squinting your eyes, you rubbed them. certainly that wasn't a fucking person in the mirror. You quickly wrapped a towel around your body, wiping the fog off the mirror, your own reflection still there. “Great, not even 24 hours later and I'm already going nuts.”

You got dressed; deciding to finally tour the house— it was beautiful, despite the haunted nature of it; the furniture a bit outdated for your taste, but your parents will love it. you made your way to her bedroom; almost scared to go in— she died in there anyone would be scared. you pushed your worries aside, pushing the door open; walking inside.

The bed had been made after her passing, but everything else was still in the same place according to the caretaker. You started by stripping everything from the bed, throwing the sheets in the trash, emptying all her drawers; your mom said you could keep any jewelry she had, and she'll give the rest away to your cousins on your father's side. you then moved to her closet, separating all the clothes that you were keeping and the ones you were giving away, and finally the ones that you were tossing.

About 2 hours later you were done separating everything, putting the donation boxes in your car to take into town, throwing the clothes in the trash at the end of the long driveway. you kept a lot of things, turns out she kept a lot of clothes and her style wasn't that bad. “I’m gonna need a new suitcase.” you said to yourself.

You scrubbed everything down in her room; per your mothers request. “Yes mommy, I got rid of her ghost.” You rolled your eyes when she called to ask. “Great, is everything else okay?” you hummed. “Well despite the no wifi and being completely alone, yes.” You said. “Well we're still trying to sell here, we've found a realtor.” you let her go on and on, until she'd managed to talk for 2 straight hours— your stomach rumbling being the thing to interrupt the conversation. “Gosh love , have you eaten today?”

“I had some yogurt for breakfast.” you could hear her sigh. “It's 5:30 y/n and all you've eaten was yogurt?” She questioned. “Well I've been busy cleaning up your mothers home.” You said, she laughed. “Thank you, my daughter.” you mocked her. “Seriously honey, get yourself something to eat, I will call again.” you hummed. “And don't leave those clothes in your car, take them to the goodwill.” you nodded. “okay.” you hung up. “Really let's get you something to eat.”

After showering for the nights— luckily your eyes didn't create delusions this time, you settled on ordering take out, luckily someone was willing to bring you a pizza. “Thank you.” You handed the delivery guy the money. “Is this your new house?” he looked up. “My parents.” you said, he handed you the pizza box. “Scary.” was all he said before walking away. “Yeah.” You closed the door.

Taking your pizza back to your room; you almost made it back to your room— when you noticed the door to your grandmother's room was still open. “Hmm?” You were certain you closed it, you went to close it— but something caught your eyes on the dresser. It was a jewelry box. you don't remember putting that there; you don't even remember seeing it before.

You picked up the box, taking it with you to your room; sitting it on the nightstand. You finished your pizza; making an appointment on your phone to have wifi installed. “Sorry grandma, you might've lived in silence, but I need tv.” You finished the last bit of pizza, taking the box to the kitchen, returning back to your room, climbing under the covers; the wooden jewelry box still sitting on the nightstand.

You reached over, grabbing the box; it looked pretty old. You stopped admiring the details on the box; opening it. A thin silver necklace with a red and black pendant sitting in the box; it was the only thing in the box. You picked up the necklace, examining it. The necklace was beautiful, probably the prettiest piece that you took from your grandmother— yes of course you were gonna keep it, you wouldn't dare let your destructive ass cousins destroy something as beautiful as this. “Thank you grandma.”

You sat the box in between your legs, unhooking the necklace, placing it around your neck, snapping it. “Let's see.” you picked the box up, looking into the mirror. “So pretty.” You smiled, closing the box, sitting it back on the nightstand, yawning.

reaching over; you turned the light off; pulling the covers over your body, touching the pendant one last time before you fell into a deep sleep…

So unaware of what you had just done; who you just awakened, what you just invited into your life…

©️LUVYENI

[fluffyartbl0g]

Redraw of the panels that SHATTERED MY HEART o(；△；)o!!! OG panels + Opinions on the Luffy separation arc under read more

Okay let me just go on a tangent about my feelings about the post-series Luffy separation arc, cause I think it gets way too much hate when it’s such a heartbreaking and well executed deviation from oda’s standard formula!!! I know that we all love monkey d. luffy and he’s LITERALLY the main character of the series, but it was also really nice to get more time to focus on the rest of the crew. But here’s the thing, even when Luffy wasn’t here, he was still here. And I’m not talking about the so called ‘blessings’ or whatever that kept SUSPICIOUSLY popping up around the crew when Luffy disappeared, I’m talking about the consequences that arised from him disappearing. We truly got to see how grand the effect luffy has had on the world around him, and how many lives he was able to touch ; - ; So even though luffy physically wasn’t present (I mean KIND OF but you know what I mean), this was still VERY MUCH a luffy arc imo. 

Oh man but I think Oda wrote luffy’s disappearance so well,,, I was sobbing for like 80 percent of this arc. Like just gradually seeing the crew’s deterioration as time passes by,,, but everyone has such unwavering faith in their captain, he HAS to come back cause Luffy always comes back. But here’s the thing, Luffy didn’t know what was happening to him when he started disappearing. But what he DID know is that he wasn’t sure if he was gonna be able to come back or not. And Luffy hates breaking promises- he’d never make a promise if he didn’t plan to keep it, and he’s not an idiot either, so when he just felt himself disappearing and saw zoro nearby... Instead of saying something like “I’ll be back!” and potentially making his crewmates wait for him forever, he tells zoro to “take care of the crew”... SOBBING AND CRYING T - T. So YES. the crew has unwavering faith in their captain. But. Luffy didnt say that he’d be coming back or anything. So what are they supposed to do really.

And it’s really hard to read at some parts, like it never loses the goofy tone that has been there throughout all of one piece and it’s really sweet to see everyone rely on each other to keep one another afloat, but the slight tension that keeps building up over the months while they keep looking for clues and answers... And how each lead keeps becoming a dead end... When it builds up and Usopp finally voices the thing that’s on everyone’s mind.

Oh man. I started crying so hard. It took 6 month for any one of them to say something. Like this is One piece. Of course Luffy is gonna come back eventually, it would be waay too dark otherwise... But Idk man, even I started to doubt that :((( But luckily. THIS IS ONE PIECE. So right after everyone started,,, well not exactly losing hope or anything (maybe a bit)? but going BATSHIT INSANE FROM THE REALITY THAT THEIR CAPTAIN MIGHT BE GONE FOR GOOD, they finally got a solid actual clue of what might’ve happened to luffy!!! And I’m SO GLADDDD!!!!

Omg and when they tracked down the pray-pray no mi user and finally got some answers out of him. OMG WAIT A MOMENT I REALLY LIKED IS WHEN PRIEST GUY IS LIKE “urerheg without luffy up there as a god the entire world may very well be destroyed cause the sun has been super unstable for centuries blah blah” and then Nami freaking PUMMELED THE GUY AND SHOVED HIM DOWN WITH HER STAFF AND

SOBBING CRYING SOBBING. THEY WOULD POTENTIALLY BLOW UP THE ENTIRE WORLD IF IT MEANT THAT THEIR CAPTAIN WOULDNT HAVE TO BE LONELY ; - ; KILL ME.

URGH I was really hoping that Luffy would return right once they beat him up cause I really really missed my boy, but honestly I think the final method of getting Luffy to return was super clever and absolutely worth the extra 3 weeks of waiting!!! I know that it was foreshadowed across the whole West Blue Saga and everything but I honestly had no clue it would end like that, DONT MAKE FUN OF ME :(((

When the crew finally got their captain back after 8 months of waiting... I mean they’ve been separated before for even longer periods of time, but they always knew that they’d be back together. This time they didn’t know. BUT AREHAHRGE ALL THE PAIN AND SUFFERING WAS SO WORTHIT WHEN THEY ALL FINALLY REUNITED T - T!!!!!! UWAHHWHAHWUAAGGHA!!! AND SEEING ALL THEIR ALLIES AND FRIENDS THEYVE MADE JUST CHEER AND CRY WHEN THEY HEAR THE NEWS!!!! I WOULD CHUCK ALL THE PANELS HERE IF I COULD BUT ID JUS T REACH THE IMAGE LIMIT BECAUSE ALL OF THEM MADE ME CRY ; - ;!!! Literally just read those 5 chapters in the arc finale cause,,,, man so good T - T

Anyways TLDR: The post-series luffy seperation arc is NOT BAD and you guys are JUST COWARDS AND LIARS!!!!

[shouyuus]

RAIN!!!

idk how i didn’t know that you were on vacation until a few days ago but i hope you’re having the best fun of your life!!

here’s a lil present i found 😋

Edit: a kind anon reminded me that this wasn't credit properly!!!! I'm so sorry the lovely art is by @meofthoois ♡♡♡♡

OKAY okay *takes a deep breath* SO LIKE.

imagine being courtside at an adlers match and things aren't going fantastically -- it's just an off day and kageyama comes off a service miss, his brows a bit furrowed, sweat dripping off his face, he's clearly annoyed with himself and with the entire situation. the opposing team is putting pressure on him at all the right times, in all the right places. you're biting your lips so hard you think you might break skin and during the court rotation, he does this ^^^^, tugs up the edge of his shirt to wipe at his sweat, his eyes focused on some point in mid-air -- you know he's probably running through a series of scenarios in his head, trying to map out the best way forward. you can see the tightness in his shoulders, the way his stomach is flexing with how hard he's breathing.

you teeter for a second before raising a hand and waving; and even though you know his concentration is something inconceivable to the average person, he's just as finely attuned to you -- can pick you out of a crowd of thousands, and of all screaming fans and waving posters, he picks out your hand in an instant, turning to meet your gaze with his. there's something behind it that smolders, a volcano minutes before eruption, the warning smoke tossed high and dark and wide for all those who might understand the language of devastation.

you swallow hard and shoot him a small smile. for a second, you almost think that he's looked over by mistake, and hadn't seen you at all. but then, he drops his shirt and grins back, just the tiniest little thing. but you know him just as well as he knows you, knows him like a forest knows it's trees, like the wind knows the rustles of all her leaves. then, you press a hand to your chest and take a deep breath -- breathe, you think.

kageyama does; he breathes, just one breath, solid and deep. you see the tension leave his shoulders, the brightness flicker back into his eyes. and that's it. he turns back to resume his position; the whistle blows; play resumes.

but his next play is daring, is calculated, is precise, is perfect. and the shot slams home right on the baseline of the other side and the entire crowd is on its feet. you, alone, let out a long breath and drop back into your seat, smiling wide as kageyama pumps his fist, romero ruffles his hair, laughing. from beneath the celebratory forest of his teammates arms, he twists to look at you, casting you a much wider grin, one lined with teeth and sweetness both.

they make a comeback and steal the game in a nailbiting 5th set that goes into the 30s. but when the interviewer asks him how he managed to lead the team back to such a slim victory but a victory nonetheless, he pauses, dabs at a bit of sweat a the corner of his eye and says, "it wasn't easy. but you just keep your head and remember to breathe."

[stxrvel]

gym time

summary: you didn't expect to meet someone like Bucky Barnes when you decided to enter the gym, especially since his looks and words were anything but friendly.

pairing: au!bucky barnes x f!reader

words: +1k

warning: uhm, descriptions of bucky working out? some bad words. also i suck at summaries but what i was trying to say is that bucky is very suggestive here, and there will be suggestive conversations iykwim. this chapter doesn't contain too much of that but still minors do not interact!!!!

note: hi guys! um, i dont know what to say. being honest idk why i wrote this when i dont know if i'll ever be able to continue it, i think it was for the joy or fun in it and maybe trying to test new things? i kind of wrote the draft for a second part but i dont think i want this one to be a series, i wanted to see it like a drabble but i got carried away and now there are too many words. but what i do know now is that i will be pleased to write drabbles in a scenario like this, like in this universe or au. if you guys liked this (which i hope so) would you mind sending me what would you like to see next? only time will tell how good i'm doing but i hope i can at least entertain you a little. anyway, looking forward to your opinions and i really hope you like this one! since it's my first time writing in this kind of genre :'(

You were at the gym. It had been barely a week since you had started with the goal of creating a routine in your life, because work was consuming you from the inside out. Coming home no longer felt like it used to, when you still had the fever of being independent and being able to get yourself everything you wanted. Adult life really was a mud puddle compared to what we always thought as kids.

So… yeah, you decided to join the gym closest to your apartment to try to change your bad procrastination habits a bit. Maybe now that you were paying for it with your own money you'd feel more like going, just for the sake of not making the money go to waste. But, hey, it was something.

During that week everything had been relatively fine. You hadn't had any problems with anyone, no awkward comments and you had gotten some workout partners to take turns lifting weights or running on the treadmills with at the same time.

It was honestly becoming your favorite place to be after work.

And, well, of course, there was him.

The man you shared end-to-end glances with at the gym. He never came close, always kept his space, unless he had to use some machine near where you were.

He looked like a decent man… and definitely sexy. But you didn't dare get close even though it seemed to be the only thing the two of you wanted to do. The furtive glances weren't even accidental anymore, you both sought each other out through the masses of air as if it was second nature to you. And that upset you too much because it hadn't been too many days, how could you feel so passionate and heated just sharing glances with a stranger? Within what you didn't know there might be something you didn't like, even.

Anyway, you had to avert your gaze each time before it became too much, but it always seemed like it wasn't enough for the people around you not to notice.

“Why don't you just go talk to him?” Veronica spoke in front of you, waiting for Erika to leave the press to start her series.

You were on the treadmill finishing your routine that day and that man was on the other side of the gym, lifting weights like they were nothing. You had watched him for so long without embarrassment that you had almost memorized every line of his massive arms. And your partners that day had definitely noticed.

“I don't think it's appropriate,” was all you could think of.

Erika snorted, lowering her legs as she put down the weights. “She's afraid the sexual tension surrounding them will suffocate her.”

“Erika!” you scowled at her. “Stop talking nonsense.”

“I'm of the same opinion as Veronica, you should just go talk to him. If it turns out his personality isn't as sexy as his body, you're not going to lose anything and you're going to gain a lot.”

Veronica, who had already settled into the press after Erika cleaned the chair, nodded animatedly at her partner's words.

You turned your head to look at him again, just as his strong hands released the weight that bounced to the floor. You saw him shake his arms slightly and move his shoulders in circles, releasing the tension a little at a time. Even in the distance you could make out as if he were right beside you the line of his veins running around his arms and the-

“Look at her, she's drooling already.”

You clicked your tongue and Erika only shared a chuckle with Veronica. You decided to focus solely on getting the treadmill over with quickly so you could get through that day.

-

You came out of the shower with an incredible freshness dancing in your body. In the bathrooms the atmosphere was always a little cooler than in the center of the gym, so the time after the bath was one of your favorites. Veronica and Erika had already left, they had said goodbye before you entered the shower. They always left at seven o'clock at night, but you preferred to stay a little longer and enjoy the showers you paid for because you didn't have much to do at home when you got there.

With the towel over your right shoulder you walked towards the lockers to get your training bag and other belongings. You thought for a moment about leaving a few things from your bag since there would be a zumba class early tomorrow morning and maybe you were getting a little interested in going, when you heard some footsteps close to where you were.

There shouldn't have been too many people left in the gym at that time because closing time was at 8:00 p.m., so someone else must have gotten out of the shower to get their belongings just like you.

You decided to leave a few things in the locker for the next day's class, encouraging you a little more to leave the house a little earlier. Anyway, you knew Veronica would be there so you wouldn't be alone.

You pulled out the bag with the things you were going to take with you and closed the locker. You turned around to leave, when you finally realized who else had come in after you.

It was him. It was that man.

You had never met him in the evenings. He always left before seven o'clock so you never had the chance to meet him alone until that moment, when you stopped dead in front of him, your sneakers grinding against the floor as if you had braked violently at fifty kilometers per hour.

Your locker was all the way in the left corner of that room and it looked like his was a few spaces away from yours in the same direction, closer to the door.

His gaze lifted in your direction at the sound of your shoes and you had to squeeze your bag strap tightly over your shoulder, eating your embarrassment fiercely.

“Hey,” he spoke first and his voice was nothing like you had imagined.

It was incredibly better. His baritone tone, somewhat raspy and light, sounded like he didn't have a care in the world. The way he slightly curved his lips sent an electric sensation throughout your body. He had given you that smile before, but at that proximity it was a whole new experience. It seemed like your body began to vibrate on another frequency.

“How did you like the gym?”

“Uh?”

The man turned back to you, closing his locker almost at the same time and leaning his shoulder against it in the most smooth way you'd ever seen, handling his body with a confidence that almost made you feel intimidated.

“You're new here, aren't you?”

“Ah, yes,” you nodded slightly, again feeling that embarrassment make its way from your throat. “I've really liked the gym, I've felt very comfortable thankfully. And the monthly plans are very good, affordable.”

The man nodded attentively at your words, as you tried to keep your composure under his sharp gaze.

“I'm Bucky,” he suddenly introduced himself, stepping a little closer to where you stood.

“I'm Y/N,” you kept your voice steady as you raised your hand to meet his that had just extended in front of you at a safe distance. “A pleasure.”

“The pleasure's all mine,” Bucky gave your hand a good shake, causing things in your body that you were too embarrassed to admit. You didn't know if your cheeks could get flushed, but at that moment you felt like they looked cartoonish, vibrant red and hot. “And I'm glad to hear you're comfortable. I do my best to make my clients happy.”

“Oh…?”

Even though you felt spellbound under the piercing fierceness of those blue eyes, your ears were still working enough to allow your head to process what you'd heard.

“You're the owner?”

Bucky nodded and you wanted to hide your head in a hole for a moment.

So you'd been eye-fucking the owner of the gym? Hell, now that you thought about it more clearly, it could even be that this man was older than you, much older.

Oh no, the things you had to go through for not being a little more prudent. Good thing that embarrassing moment would only be in your head.

“And now that you know, you can drop any complaints or recommendations directly to me, if you want.”

You let out a short laugh, trying to cut through the awkwardness you felt inside as you realized the situation you were in.

“Sure, yeah, anything I need to tell you I'll do it personally.”

“Also if you want me to change something… give you something or do something, you can tell me.”

“Sure,” you nodded quickly, starting to move around him to get closer to the exit. Bucky wouldn't take his eyes off you. “Now I know I'm counting on you for anything…. From the gym, that is.”

Your awkward laugh died under his intense but amused gaze. Was he enjoying it?

“And you can talk to me, if you want too,” Bucky continued speaking as you completely surrounded him and now found yourself in the position he had been before, “not just watching me from afar.”

You were sure the blood had left your face by this time. Your level of embarrassment had gone over the edge and in that instant you didn't know how to do anything but look at him as if he had caught you in the middle of a crime. You tightened the strap of your bag while holding your breath as you noticed him moving a little closer towards you.

“It's not that it bothers me, don't go thinking that. It's just that… I'd like to get to know you a little more if that's possible.”

“Uhm…” you mumbled with a dry mouth, the reflection of the light in his blue eyes much clearer against the short distance between the two of you. You passed saliva with difficulty, shaking your head to answer him, “Yeah, sure. I'd like to know you too.”

You watched out of the corner of your eye as he nodded at your words, not making a move to get any closer. If that five-foot distance alone already felt like you were suffocating, you didn't want to imagine what it would be like to have him standing to the side or behind you explaining how to do some exercise even though you already knew how to do them all…

Shit.

“See you then, doll.”

He walked around you, walking away from that conversation and that tension like it was nothing, like a bomb hadn't just exploded in front of you. You couldn't even say anything goodbye to him, you didn't know in that instant how to move your mouth.

For a moment you felt so foolish for allowing yourself to show yourself in such a vulnerable way in front of a man… but, at the same time, so much had happened since the last time you had actively flirted with one of them (even though what you had done at that moment had been spitting words). You'd barely had a taste to remember what the adrenaline, excitement and anticipation of having a truly fun night was like… that you didn't plan on letting go.

Bucky had thrown you that rope and you were sure you were going to take it.

-

a/n: thank you for reading!! <3

[fumifooms]

so glad you posted that compilation cus i literally can't stop thinking about chilchuck's succubi... everyone else's have so much to be said about them and are so much less straightforward than just classically sexual, but then chilchuck's Truly goes straight for the jugular. when i saw that one panel i could not stop jawdropping at how explicit they went with that implication like it's actually insane to me. i feel like it says a lot about him, what you said about him enjoying the simple pleasures of life like alcohol and sex, and he's really such... a guy. but if this is the most alluring form to him he really should get that divorce even if he still loves his wife i have to be honest LOL poor thing

YEAH literally it’s insane 💀I feel like due to the tension and action of the scene and the way the page is paneled it’s soo easy to brush over it and focus on other things without our eyes actually processing THAT. I have no clue how they’ll make it in the anime without just making it straight up obscene lmao, a friend joked that the sucking sound effect should be like a straw and I’d die laughing if Trigger does that. Maybe like slurping noodles instead. No clue what they’ll do genuinely.

I do believe Chilchuck is just Like That™️, but yes I also like to think that it reflects how deeper connections have hurt him in the past so he prefers relationships where he’s just there to do his job or just there to have fun without thinking and not have to worry about betrayal etc etc. He’s not there to think and have emotions he just wants to feel good for a while and be seduced and those things (succubi, sex alcohol etc) sure do that.

I wouldn’t say that this is the line crossed for why he shouldn’t get back with his wife though!! I do get the feeling that he and his wife just aren’t compatible and that they don’t communicate well, and with Chilchuck saying "I don’t know if it’ll go as well as in the stories, but I’ll try" about reaching out to her, and with idealization vs the actual person/thing being a big theme in Dungeon Meshi where we don’t know just how much he loves her or if he loves the ideal/memories of her, I do feel like they should reconcile but not get back together. BUT! I think the whole "most alluring form" thing shouldn’t be treated as the ultimatum that people often treat it as, the succubus chapters really reflect a bunch of themes that are present in the whole series, like ‘irrational instinctive desire vs what you actually want and need’ and such.

Again I’ll be spoiling a future analysis I want to make but… If the characters were to have their full minds in those chapters, what they rationally want most is very different than the succubus they got, something can be alluring but you’d still refuse it, like idk a cigar, hence why the succubi need to freeze their victims by reading their irrational desires so well. Chilchuck has gone 4 years since his separation with his wife still being faithful to her!!! FOUR!!! Had he his capacities he would not be cheating on her no sir. He’s marriage man have some faith. Had they their minds Laios and Marcille would be imagining Falin safe and welcoming instead. It’s much like with the Winged Lion, where the desires it twists the characters into aren’t the one they actually pursue (well, in Laios’ case at least. It emphases on them a ton even when it is a desire they show in everyday life), the monster twists the desires to have the outcome they want, it’s manipulation.

If your point is that the succubi don’t look like his wife though like come onnn you can’t either be asexual or think your partner is the literal prettiest person on Earth supermodel-like level to be with them and truly love them and be devoted come on… If that new blackhaired half-foot woman is her, then we saw with the succubi that he does favor her kind of eye shape, and idk that’s so much more romantic to me than hair color 🥺 Come onn he’s just a lil birthday guy he wants pleasure but he can’t fantasize about his wife bc it’d make him sad come onnn come on don’t hold it against him come onnn… Oh although I do read his "All your succubi are blonde, is your wife too?" "Shut up, don’t bring her up now!!" as guilt, bc he has a hard time thinking of himself as virtuous so I imagine in that moment he’s like "Man maybe this is why she left me… Maybe I really am not a virtuous husband…" and it’s like BUDDY a monster is playing you like a fiddle don’t make yourself feel bad over it 😭😭 I did write a fic around that concept though hehe 👈 But yes just defending my guy’s VIRTUES a bit out there. I do agree his wife had it rough, it must be so lonely and a lil devaluating to be his wife and always waiting on him and he can’t even work up the emotional maturity to voice that he loves you regularly when he is home 💀 Man is NOT a storybook prince charming

[jim-kirks-bubble-butt]

ok ok ok it’s time for my amok time thoughts-

first of all: s p i r k

spock what do you mean your omega heat was resolved by you rolling around in the dirt with your captain??? 🤨

but also just the way kirk was so respectful and understanding about spock’s pon farr and dodn’t make fun of him for it.

can’t believe the 1960’s scifi show had a fuck or die episode which did not result in heterosexuality. truly ahead of it’s time.

and also the way jim and spock were rolling around in the dirt was so gay. no one can convince me otherwise. the way spock slashed his axe thingy (forgot what it’s called) exactly so that it would give jim a tit window??? i know what you are spock.

and of course the biggest moment: JIM :D. seriously what the fuck was that. only time he smiles the wide the whole series (times when he’s under the influence of drugs excluded). homosexuality at it’s finest.

speaking of drugs i find it very funny that the only time spock likes women if either when he’s under the influence or when he’s being mind controlled.

the way spock grabs him and just gives him the biggest stupidest grin. i love spock and spock loves kirk. they are in love you can also see how wide kirk was smiling from the way his cheeks move.

spirk was just so soft with each other this episode, even on vulcan. the way spock was so hesitant to fight him and tried his hardest to convince t’pau even when under the pon farr influence.

the way jim clearly tried not to hurt him through the whole fight,

they make me fucking insane.

anyways

second thing i liked: BONES

i love bones mccoy

spock saying that he’s also one of his closest friends 😭 😭 😭

but he was so smart with the neural paralyzer and i love the way he clearly cares so much anout both of his dumbass friends under his grumpy doctor exterior.

third of all: women

t’pau and t’pring were so powerful and so wonderfully played.

obviously the whole thing with calling t’pring the property of whatever man wins her is very icky but as progressive as star trek was (and still is!), it is a product of it’s time unfortunately.

but besides that, they both just radiated power, and it was so nice to see a woman in a seat of major power.

on another note, stonn has a strikingly small forehead t’pribg i promise i could treat you better.

in my mind uhura wants t’pring (“she’s very lovely mister spock!” i know what you are ma’am.)

fourth: the episode was just. really good.

all of the tension build up before we find out about that spock is basically an omega is masterfully done, and even though i kinda new the plot, i was still sitting on the edge of my seat. incredible.

i also think tbe fight choreography during the gay sex fighting scene was actually really well done, especially when compared to other fight scenes in season 1 (the gorn fight comes to mind).

also the set design for vulcan felt like an actual planet. like usually when they go off the enterprise and onto a planet that’s not basically earth, you can tell that it’s just a bunch of foam blocks, but vulcan was very well made!

the conversation between spirk and kock kirk and spock about “vulcan biology” was very well written and acted in a way that was slightly awkward because of the nature of pon farr, but still felt natural and very in character.

side note: i see online that there’s a lot of people who think that shatner overacts. and i just don’t see it. idk i think he’s really good at playing kirk. i don’t really like the guy, but i like how expressive his acting is.

anyways this was very jumbled but i had a lot of thoughts and yeah.

i too would write the first slash fic in the 60’s if i saw this shit on my tv.

also does anyone know what tag i should use for kirk? i use like 4 different ones each time but is there one that’s more common? same for mccoy.

[bluedalahorse]

I think part of what draws me August ships (specifically Sara/August and Nils/August, among other relationships I’m less likely to read from a romantic angle) is that despite all the arrogance and self-aggrandizing up front, I’m pretty sure August sees himself as fundamentally unlovable. He’s built up this protective armor of like, being perfect and establishing himself in the social hierarchy, because he sees it as the only thing that will bring him safety and connection. Relationships can only be transactional, in that mindset.

(And as someone whose intrusive thoughts periodically like to tell me I am fundamentally unlovable—don’t worry, I do therapy regularly to combat this, and I’m doing better than I was as a teenager—I can very much empathize with the idea of trying to excel and perform certain social roles perfectly to make sure I maintain ties with other humans.)

To have another character show up and show August like, real love and compassion and grace directed toward him as a person, versus some sort of feigned concord that’s just there to preserve a status quo… well. It’s fun to watch how that throws him off his center of gravity. And then we see his doubt creep back in, and he tries to understand that relationship in terms of his social role and the hierarchy again, and there’s all this delicious tension as he’s pulled back and forth between the mindset he was raised with (people only like and respect you for your status and your ability to perform it) and his present day realization of the inexplicable weirdness that is chemistry between people (sometimes people just like you because your flavor of humanness meshes with theirs idk it’s weird but it happens!)

He’s still figuring that out at the end of season 3. He’s let status and hierarchy be a refuge more than he should over the course of the series. He’s definitely messed things up with Sara enough that she’s said a solid and unambiguous goodbye to him. At the same time, I think he’s been hit by the realization that his friends maybe actually give a shit about him, and that’s new. And that maybe he and Wille can express something toward each other that isn’t rivalry. I love that he ends the series in a place of cognitive dissonance and unsettledness about what it means for people to actually like him, because that is my favorite mindset to see him in.

And I just can’t help wanting to throw him more in the path of that storm, instead of sheltering him in the predictable structure of his hamartia.

[batsplat]

Hello Bat!! I love love love reading your thoughts on things, from motogp to terrible 2000s tv shows. You mentionned great Smallville Lex/Clark fic in a recent post, and I was wondering: could you please share? I literally just finished rereading the Astolat's and still hunger for more.

yeah sure!! I'm kinda coasting off my ao3 history here (apparently I spent the entirety of 30/10/22 Having A Moment) so it's like,, a very imperfect list

okay, I'm gonna start with a bunch of seperis fics but I'd genuinely check out... all their stuff. it's just a fun read of the characters!! also there's so much of it and it's a good time to work your way through

A Handful Of Dust 47k words

At the end of the world, Lex can't stop running.

quite a dark and sad fic but I think about it a lot and it really works for me. it's basically a post-apocalyptic fic where the apocalypse is caused by clark being pushed over the edge and succumbing to his god complex. he's hunting down his former friends and allies, including lex. I think this kind of premise can easily be like... edgelord central 'ooh what if the hero were actually the villain', but this one feels true to the characters and their relationship + is very engaging

Advanced Masochism 8.6k words

In which Lex is curious as to why he's become a proxy stalker.

a small series that consists of lex trying to make the whole clark/lana situation work while doing his best to suppress his attraction to clark. lex's internal monologue in this is fun and punchy - though a lot of it is about his age gap to clark, which never like... feels THAT extreme in the show because tom welling *gestures*. but if that element makes you uncomfortable, I'd give this one a skip!

My Usual Lie 4.1k words

He wants to be so much more than that.

ice skating!! kinda melancholic but also idk a little sweet. it's clark spending time with lex after he's already grown up and they've already grown apart and clark misses the way it used to be between the two of them... again also ABOUT the age gap. lex is such a fun kinda slippery presence here, funny and kind but also a little detached

Frantic 9.1k words

In which Clark does not get dinner. And then everything goes downhill.

oh yeah I really enjoy re-reading this one. clark finally is forced to reveal his powers to lex at an inopportune moment, when evil goo is attempting to kill them both. no angst, just bickering

Resident Alien 2.7k words

It's tax season in the Luthor household.

just short and sweet and fun! established relationship, does what it says on the tin, lex is very into taxes. he's also very into clark

Closer to Breathing 8.6k words

Christmas parties at Luthor Manor. Boys sharing thoughts with brandy. And other things.

really lovely read, tender and fun and just kinda... nails a version of lex who is so very good at what he does, who might be loathed but can charm the small town people anyway, and a clark who stands at crossroads between being part of the small town and not liking the feeling of seeing lex play people like HIM (but not him). gets into a lot of the inherent tensions of that relationship!! love lex the outsider

Vix Te Agnovi 36.8k words

Clark gets a late-night call and interesting things happen.

again, age gap-centric warning!! lex asks clark to pick him up from a sex party. very much about the tension between the worldly metropolitan lex and the country boy hick clark, and both of them kinda entering into each other's worlds... lex reckoning how he's changed, clark curious and awkward and frustrated at being treated like a child (which. he very much is)

A Life More Ordinary 4.1k words

It wasn't sudden, and Lex didn't know it was happening until it had. And then he did.

aggressively not ABOUT superman, it's just about lex and clark. about lex and clark being flatmates. soft and gentle and intimate

Two Paths 21.8k words

Everything decided in one breath.

man I WISH there were more of the series. the basic premise is the whole smallville lie falls apart and lex is trusted to like... get clark out of there and hide him. so basically clark becomes his ward!! they live together!! lex needs to be an Adult who Takes Care of clark, but again. conflicted. this is just fun like it's such a funky dynamic that feels like an absolute perfect nightmare for lex specifically

and fics by other authors:

The Olive Branch by tasabian, 3.9k words

It's the holidays...which means Lex Luthor is keeping Superman very busy. But what is Lex's hidden agenda?

lex does crimes to get clark's attention. they're cute idc

When a Strawberry Is Pushed into a Mountain by Thamiris, 33.1k words

Away at college, Clark learns to read between the lines and finds his future there.

college!clark!! a few misunderstandings and tricky emotions that serve as a backdrop for the care clark and lex show for each other... I quite like it when fic doesn't like,, cut out their terrible parents

The Butterfly Effect by The Spike, 11.6k words

Lex can't let this Cassandra thing go.

remember that old prophecy lady from s1? well, what if lex injected himself with something that gave himself the power to see the future too, and was horrified and traumatised by what he saw? feat. clark taking care of him and papa kent playing the role of the homophobic dog

Going Home by mskatej, 5.5k words

Lex has amnesia.

amnesia future fic! clark comes to the rescue a little too late and takes care of lex. warning: the amnesia creates some issues of consent

where the colors are by museaway, 10.3k words

After Clark rescues Lex from Belle Reve, they flee to Canada to start a new life. Although his age and the need for discretion limit his options, Clark does his best to support them. But despite Clark's loyalty, Lex continues to have nightmares of his time in the asylum and worries that one day, Clark will leave him—or that the rescue was entirely in his head.

this scratches a very straightforward itch: the one where clark successfully saves lex in season three and chooses him. kinda nice and comforting even in its melancholy of not being able to return home again... y'know, sometimes you want something exactly like this

light the torch and pass it on by ang3lba3, 19.8k words

Clark starts behaving erratically, and it's up to Lois and Lex to figure out how to fix him. Thankfully, the paper cuts off there. Clark is faint, sweating. He thinks he’s hard. He checks. Yes. Yes, he is. He flips the paper over. In a deep purple ink, almost black, is an unsigned note. I think we can come to a mutually satisfactory conclusion on this matter. “Oh my god,” Clark whispers, thrilled. “He’s blackmailing me.”

lex/clark/lois. clark is having like... a weird alien hormone situation and it means he's weird towards both lex and lois. lex knows clark is superman but they're still very much enemies here, so this is the push that gets them to change their relationship. this one's just fun! sweet, good banter between lex/lois, it's obvious beneath it all how much they care for clark and clark does for them

The Milk and Cookies War by Punk, 6.2k words

Lex Luthor's Penthouse for Wayward Boys.

college!clark shows up at lex's place and makes himself at home. my favourite scene in this one is a brief interlude where lex is bitchy to his father

m2m by rivkat, 2k words

For thefourthvine, prompt: Craigslist. Clark gets curious about all those superhero kink offers.

what it says on the tin. I think you can probably guess who's demanding a superman lookalike. this fic made me laugh

Risk Management by tasabian, 7.3k words

A bad day for Metropolis reunites Clark and Lex.

future fic where lex almost dying sparks the reconciliation. ... I'd also just rec checking out all their fics tbh

The Grope of Destiny by suzvoy, 19.7k words

Clark had no idea how he was going to explain *this* one.

clark and lex are physically stuck together, and it's what prompts the reveal. always satisfying!!

Candy Cane Hearts by tasabian, 4.6k words

A new brand of candy makes Clark unusually mellow; Lex finds it all very confusing. Written for the Under Mistletoe challenge.

another christmas-y fic, another fic where clark acts weird! basically whenever you remove clark's inhibitions, he whisks lex off. just sweet and charming

No Choice by mskatej, 4.3k words

Clark is in heat.

okay. listen. you need to un-repress them, right. again, this is taking license of some weird alien biology. lex's blend of caring about clark so much and also needing him and also feeling weird about it and also being very into the whole alien thing but also kinda freaked by it... the classic dynamic

The Hinge Moment by tasabian, 14.8k words

Superman has a bad day; Lex just happens to be there.

clark kidnaps lex! but like, in a nice way. a lot of these fics don't REALLY engage with canon all that closely, but this is a future fic that definitely does. gives them the chance to actually have some conversations, y'know. some days I don't actually want them to forgive each other easily, but sometimes it's nice to scratch the itch of having slightly older and more mature versions of them figuring out their issues. really well written

I might add some more at some point but I only had the energy to go through a few right now lol and well I imagine you'd rather like them now than in like. three months. also psa: pLEASE feel free to send in smallville fic recs to this account, I'm always happy to receive them

[thebeastofblackmoor]

Hi hi hello Cambria here on my main blog I have zero braincells to add any thoughts to this message but what are your Clara Thornton thoughts specifically I loved your comic so so much and that you even thought to make comparison between her and that phenomenon with birds it is so unnerving and also the panel at the end with Jackson and her having the same expression ….. AAHHH anyways. I am always here to talk about Clara and GTH if you have more thoughts this is me asking you to please share them and I will listen

OH MY GOD THANK YOU ily cambria GOD i wish we knew more concrete stuff about her childhood so that there was more to discuss. like surely there was some real and not just perceived form of alienation between Clara herself and her cousins' family when she was taken to live there, but we don't get any evidence of it in the game which I think is just tragic. Like it doesn't seem like something Clara would ever mention organically because of her desire to appear strong, Harper probably wouldn't mention it because she might have been too young or naive to pick up on it, and Wade probably never knew that such tensions even existed.

Like by all accounts Roger and Marie were great people and parents, but given their demanding jobs, the fact that they already had two children, and the fact that they presumably didn't have much info on grief and trauma and how to guide children through it, it's very possible they were just never there for Clara in the same way they were there for their own kids. I mentioned in another post that because grief in children surrounding parental loss often comes with a lot of resentment, it's possible that young Clara pushed herself away from her new family, and they just didn't know how to respond to that, didn't know how normal it was, and thus never treated her as one of them. I want to know so badly what they did, no matter how well-intentioned, that would leave Clara feeling like she'd ever be pushed out of the family after being taken in by them as an actual child and living with them for 8+ years. That would be a seriously major insult after being brought up with them!!!

Or was it because of the possible incest thing? Lately I'm back to thinking that that may have actually been intentional from the writers!

Idk this story is just sooo complex and rich and I'm honestly both glad it exists in a Nancy Drew game so that the dark parts can be understated and we can imagine our own backstories and also sad that it has to be so limited because I would also read a full novel or watch a whole Netflix original series about the Thorntons of Blackrock.

I also wish we got more info about the eventual reconciliation of the Thornton family. To what level was Clara a part of that? If she wasn't, and all her lifelong fears were confirmed at the end of the game, that would be really tragic. It would make sense, since her manipulation of Harper and Wade may have left their relationships far beyond repair, but god wouldn't that be a sad corruption story? And did Clara go to jail for what happened in 1989? (I kind of doubt it, given her socioeconomic status, the fact that the fire was so many years ago and may have been entirely accidental, etc., but who knows.)

But then, by the end of the game, Jessalyn is at the core of the family, not Clara or Harper or Wade, and she seems to have a lot of love and forgiveness for her mother. And maybe Clara could start to become a new person now that she's not being burdened by this horrible secret and if she sees that she will always have at least some of her family! I love a story whose theme is that it's never too late to change, and that shows that change comes because of love and support!

Do they all do holidays together? Does Jessalyn ever drag them all on tropical family vacations, even though Harper doesn't really like her cousins, Wade sees maybe an hour of sunlight per year, and Clara hasn't had fun in twenty years?? Do Harper and Clara try to kill each other with carving knives on Thanksgiving? I just need so much more on this deeply fucked up but also very funny family.

[st5lker]

ppl make fun of me when i admit analog horror actually scares me but it DOES ok but only a small handful of actually well made analog horror. i will concede that the vast majority of it is trite and hamfisted and often really dumb but i feel like all of those bad series are usually just poor imitations of the actually innovative and well done good ones. and like i get that the faces or plotlines seem stupid out of context i agree but idk its all about how you set up tension and subtlety that makes it interesting and scary

[spookfished]

media roundup sep 2024

hello! havent done these in a while. im currently "extremely unemployed" lol well see if i go back and do any of the previous months i skipped ㄟ( ▔, ▔ )ㄏ i think its nice to force myself to summarize my thoughts like this

BOOKS: the tyrant baru cormorant by seth dickinson: most recent book in the masquerade series, which is a thriller (?) about the mechanics of empire. dude this book was so great. no notes. there were some incredibly gratifying payoffs in here and some craaazy twists. idk i wish i had something more to say i just thought it was really really good im glad that baru gets to have some good things as well as bad. of course, seth dickinson has amazing prose and the ending was so like, uplifting? and inspiring? i was very surprised lol

when the angels left the old country by sacha lamb: queer jewish immigrant YA, apparently for fans of good omens. an angel and a demon from a small, small town go to america to track down one of the town's mising daughters. despite neither being a gomens fan (although i did read it) nor jewish, i really enjoyed this! it has a dreamy, fairytale, eva ibbotson-like tone to it that made it a pleasure to read, despite the somewhat foreboding topic (let's all have a fun time on ellis island while visibly jewish!) the stories of the humans and the non-humans feel equally important, but i really especially enjoyed the way the angel changed over time as a response to the world it saw. its just a really nice book :3

long live evil by sarah rees brennan: villainess isekai, but western tradpub. a woman dying from cancer at a young age is given the chance to live again--as a two-bit floozy villainess the day before her execution?! how will rae find a way out? and how well, really, does she remember the time of iron? sarah rees brennan is sort of a comfort author to me; in other lands meant a Lot to me as a mentally ill teenager. all the same, i almost dropped this book during the first couple of chapters. in my opinion, this book has a REALLY rough start that evened out into a ride that i enjoyed quite a bit despite many other factors. while some parts of the part are clearly deeply personal (this is the author's first book published after recovering from late stage cancer), it also has a tendency to hammer in its points over and over again and undercuts too many serious moments with quippy dialogue in a way that deflates tension rather than increasing it. also, one b-couple takes clear inspiration from one of her previous works (but this time more #toxic --they kill each other in time of iron) and as a result unfortunately outshines the main couple at times, who also have to share screentime with a huge cast that often feels improperly balanced. but also, i thought the main couple was pretty cute, actually! the ending twist, while not unpredictable (and also very, uh, danmei?) was also very enjoyable and nice to let creep up on you. i feel like i'm being more strict with it than i am with a lot of villainess isekai i read though, haha… i agree with ineedacatchyname's review of it (and a lot of these thoughts just echo theirs. woops!)--a lot of this could be fixed with a bit more editing, but ultimately i spent the second half unable to put it down and i'm still going to read the sequel.

against football by steve almond: fairly short nonfiction. one diehard football fan's searing condemnation of the state of american football today (and what we could do to make it better). this was recommended to me by megafaunatic, and i really enjoyed it :3 i come from a pretty "ugh, sportsball" type of family, and so it was really interesting to see why people love watching football (especially a team as "wretched" as the former oakland raiders) as well as playing it--but also how the continuation of football in its current state is pretty much inexcusable (one bright side is that division i graduation rates have actually gone up quite a bit since this book was published in 2016!) id easily recommend to both football fans and non-fans.

GAMES: pikmin bloom: pikmin bloom is a game about walking around, growing pikmin, and planting virtual flowers. i didnt play this game for a while bc i was like "well, its pokemon go but with pikmin -_-" and like. it is. but niantic has also taken the opportunity to overhaul a lot of its base game mechanics with a focus on actually getting you to GO OUTSIDE and WALK AROUND, which i think is to its benefit! like, yeah it actually did get me to go on some walks when i wouldnt have otherwise. the microtransactions kinda suck but as long as youre willing to kill your darlings (pikmin) its fine i think. < guy with a very high deathcount in pikmin 3 and 4

return of the obra dinn: stylized mystery game about unpacking what happened in a scaaary voyage by seeing the moment surrounding the crewmembers' deaths. dude. this game is so fucking good. it was like everyones goty in 2018 and as soon as i finished it i was like "i wish i could get hit in the head so i could play it again." imo, its a really good game to play as a group (with one person driving) bc so much of the gameplay takes place outside of the game--deducing, speculating, etc and it's really fun to do that as a conversation with someone else! the game does a good job of disincentivizing random guessing--when i played this game with my family, we did guess on a couple but it was almost always a 50-50 "choice A or choice B". and the game can (apparently) be completed without any chance guesswork whatsoever! can be a little gory at times, but its all in this sort of dithery monochrome style so you don't really think about it until you're walking to the bathroom in the halflit moonlight and youre kinda like hey this kinda looks like return of the obra dinn haha. wait. anyways play this game!!

unpacking: cute little game about unpacking/moving in during the various phases of one person's life. probably a masterclass in "environmental storytelling" that invites you into making your own stories for our unseen protagonist while also providing these understated beautiful little moments of understanding. also, it was really theraputic getting everything perfectly placed in order when i currently live in a very messy house ;-_-

umineko chapter 2: ahhh year of umineko 2024 continues. im definitely not finishing the whole game this year (lol) but i might end up finishing the question arcs at least..? anyways ive been lbing this the whole time (#year of the seacat 2024 for blacklist) but man this was pretty harsh compared to the first episode. it even makes battler break down..! i was secretly wondering how it was going to try and turn around my opinion on rosa, but, well, i still really dont like her. has bright points in more beatrice!!! the introduction of the meta, some ???really horny??? parts and the [You are incompetent] scene. also, everyone seems to really hate george for some reason but i feel like i still dont get it.

SHOWS:

the decameron: drama about fucking and dying in black plague-era italy, and a villa meant to be a getaway from it all. in high school i wanted to read the decameron because it was mentioned in theatre of coolty--just so you know, this is nothing like it. its just really fun! and full of light intrigue and twists and reveals and tragedy. a lot of the plague-based humor hit in some pretty uncomfortable places, which the showrunners were definitely going for. neifile and panfilo hands down had my favorite relationship.

witch from mercury: revolutionary girl gundam?? this is how everyone pitched it to me, which honestly put me off a little bit. wfm is clearly aware and respectful of its predecessors but also takes the first episode to go "nah were going to do something a little different though." like, its kind of like instead of tackling rape culture it decided to tackle the military industrial complex instead ? ? i guess?? it seems like a good entry point into gundam for many (including me!) i enjoyed the first season very fun and currently watching the second. looking forward to seeing how sick and twisted things can get

in terms of music ive been listening to a lot of zerobaseone.. every time were in the car together neil is like lets listen to yurayura and im like yessss. yurayuraa oh ive also been listening to counter//weight while driving but im not going to include it bc its been slow going lol. all my thoughts about it so far is like "this is the thing neil really likes"

anyways if you got to the end or skimmed or whatever, thanks for reading! hope u have a good one.

[clemelntine]

My few cents on GMMTV 2025

Summary for those who don't want to read all of my bs (no specific order within the categories)

Would sell my kidney to watch this

Only friends dream on

Burnout syndrome

Ticket to heaven

Super excited

Dare to death

Girl rules

Cat for cash

Me and thee

Seated

That summer

Love you teacher (im too curious)

Will probs watch, might drop

Head 2 head

Whale store xoxo

My romance scammer

Boys in love

A dog and a plane

Wu

Memoir of Rati

Keeping a polite distance

My magic prophecy

Melody of secrets

Mu-te-luv

Thoughts per show (in order of how they aired during the showcase)

Dare to death

Will be watching

Oooeehh

The murder mystery together with coldxflirty partners romance

Loving this new genre of JoongDunk. The more adult shows, and ofcourse when one of them can't stand the other who keeps flirting, they seem to be really good at carrying that tension.

Also, Ohm lil brother again, he just has a face for it

Gmmtv big cast shows (especially thriller-like shows) always have a certain something so this is really promising.

Head 2 head

Might watch depending on the trailer

I don't know if it is Surf (a welcome surprise in this year's lineup) the fact that they used be enemies, the fact that they life nextdoor from eachother and their parents like e/o or the dream that predict the others death, but this show reminded me a lot of 'I saw you in my dream' (which I didn't like to much btw, so this show won't have to do much to be my favorite of the 2, it's already on the right path)

SeaKeen in a a bit more of an adult show but still carrying that fun and laughter, love to see it

Also JavaSurf seems to be an interesting match and the story they are telling with them definitely has potential.

Burn out syndrome

Will be watching

OffGun in a noncomedy, we cheer. They are just so good in more serious/adult series. Also by the same director as not me, this is bound to be a masterpiece

I'm not really to sure what the story is tbh (burned out artist gun finds love in dew and then a job and new muse in off, his muse then insists he can't date dew and he falls for off, and dew and gun are also colleagues, idk anymore, we'll see)

I have already fallen in love with the art guns character makes and am planning a post on how to dissect even the little bits we've gotten

Also love me some bad boy Off, he does that shit so well.

I love a lot of you

Might watch depending on the trailer

Gmmtv once again making a show about a pretty sensitive subject (DID this time) and I am scared, again

The actors do put up some nice work and I think it could be a a good show though

I don't have a lot to say honestly, glad to see Nanon working on something cool ig. I really have to wait for the trailer and first episode(s) to be able to tells what I think of this.

Whale store xoxo

Probably won't watch depending on how I feel

I love to see the girls thriving

It seems like a fun romanticized early adult story which is nice but not something I'd enjoy rn, maybe when it airs though (could be the winter air making be moody)

Gmmtv has been loving these getting back together after a break up stories and I think it's a pretty cool look on love and romance that I hadn't seen to much from other places.

Only friends dream on

Will watch even if it's the last thing I do

The scream I let out when Neo appeared and we heard let's try. Litteraly didn't even catch most of the interview they did cuz I was to busy hopping around in excitement

I love me a good messy show and this seems so fucking good

I'm honestly not mad that it is a different cast. The season one stories were pretty much wrapped up and I think it is fun that they are giving other actors the ability to indulge into this chaos.

Such perfect pairings that they chose as well. Chefs kiss.

Also them all being on the crew for a play is just stunning. The forced bonding (and obvious fights that is gonna cause). I can't wait

That summer

Will probably watch depending on the trailer

WinnySatang main lead, we cheer. Also Mond in a gay ship, stunning. Mond as an uncle, conflicted (I think he'll take more of a older brother role, dude is like 27)

Sounds like a cool story tho, cute but still sofisticated with some conflicting and nuanced situations

Idk Jojo wanted to do something fun and I'll have to trust him on making this a masterpiece (he will)

My romance scammer

Probably won't watch depending on the trailer

A lil comedy, a lil emotional drama. It is looking to be a very fun yet gripping show.

Honestly the conflict looks like it's gonna be juicy on this one

Idk though maybe the trailer has like a more cohesive chronological story and more intriguing atmosphere then ig I'll watch it.

Melody of secret

Huh

I don't think I'll be watching it

Nice that ForceBook is playing a thriller, seems to be pretty cool to

I am really curious where this show is going, like I will be following it through Tumblr and shit (im just to nosy)

Love you teacher

Might watch depending on the trailer

If the trailer can prove to me this isn't age play bait I'll watch it

The beginning slapped and the story is interesting, but as a romance, idk.

It looks like fun with all the colors and the like low key phycological/mental conflict in their relationship could play out in a really interesting way

I do think the roles fit PerthSanta really well, so it could be good. I am really gonna have to see for this one

Mu-te-luv

Probably won't watch

Idk the queens do intruege me but I'm not that big of a fan of shows with a lot of stories that are separated like this looks to be

I might just watch their parts

Idk some fun stuff ig, I don't have much to say tbh

Cat for cash

Wil be watching, I have to

Why are there just cats on my screen, where are the actors

No but fr a cat romcom solo pairing is so perfect for firstkao and they really did deserve a break after all the shit their characters have had to go through in their last few shows

Great to see shipper style first on screen again, he is just so loving

Good brother cast as well, gmmt is getting better at those.

Looking forward to the loving relationship they are gonna develop

Girl rules

Will be watching

Messy toxic Yuri. My prayers have been answered.

This sounds so cool and interesting I love these big cast shows where the characters are really interlinked together

Wonderfull cast and the girls will really shine I think

Boys in love

Might watch depending on the trailer

I haven't seen most of these boys before so I'm guessing they're all new additions this year. Which would be a fun way to start for them then, a light cutsy high-school romance

Most shocked about Ken and Chokun tbh didn't think I'd see them in a bl (so soon)

Love that Papang and Podd are playing the gay teachers feels very mentor-y. Like putting the more experienced actors together with the first time (?) bl actors but also in the show they have more experience and knowledge, good stuff

It feels like it's gonna be really cute and good, each of their relationships is also such a good trope and together they'll really build a strong show

My magic prophecy

Probably won't watch

Idk, vibe feels off to me.

The plot is fine but nothing too new and I expected a bigger thing for JimmySea's last show

I feel like the prophesy trope has been done to much, gotta add something different to it to make me interested

Seems to mostly just be cute goodness with a bit of suspemce and conflict, which JimmySea is good in, so that's promising

I have do doubt it would be good, just don't think it's for me

A dog and a plane

Might watch depending on the trailer

Cute show

It just didn't stand out to me to much

We've got some interesting class issues going on that I am curious how they'll develop them but mostly just a romcom

Idk, trailer could convince me ig, i dont think i have any strong opinions on this show

Me and thee

Will be watching

Just the perfect roles for them

They are finally out of school and starring in a cute comedy, just a great next project

Sounds like it is going to be actually so funny and we saw some low key emotional things to (the troubles of being rich) so it'll probably be like a quite healing show

Very excited for how they work this out more

Wu

Might watch depending on the trailer

Love that SkyNani might be establishing themselves as a bromance couple/pairing, impeccable energy

The pilot was still a bit vague, we mostly know their personalities and that they're soulmate but I'm gonna have to see what the show is actually about to judge wether I'll watch it

So far it seems interesting though

Memoir of Rati

Will probably watch depending on the trailer

A lil period drama, very cute

Honestly looking forward to mostly the costumes and set because those already look really good

Wondering how deep they'll go into like the shitty atmospheric that thrived foreign concessions

Also loving the little class difference romance AouBoom is portraying always makes room for some really nice social critique

Ticket to heaven

Will be watching

This is what GeminiFourth were made for, where they shine (religious settings and guilt)

Mady by Aof as well I just know this thing will be packed full of beautiful moments

It's going to be heartbreaking and life destroying

So excited for the ways they'll break down Christianity and build faith for themselves. Like it's probably going to be so healing trough all of its heartbreak

(Please don't be a sad ending, please don't be a sad ending)

And get ready for me to talk a stupid amount about religious imagery

Also just a side comment. There is no engineer/architecture student or even a person working in those fields in sight. Gmmtv is really broadening their shows a lot.

*(If you think I was to positive in my rating and then put it really low, the pros is listed for shows might not be things I enjoy myself but I am still happy to see them for those that do enjoy it)

[squarebracketsmileyface]

I don’t remember if I or anyone else has given this song yet… but Tongues & Teeth by The Crane Wives is so Alex

I love this song, but i usually relate it to Desert Duo (from third life and double life, idk if you know what that is but it's a cool minecraft series and its amazing so you should lol) so I'd never even thought about it in the context of Sorry, It's Locked.

But oh my god?

You're so right?

It's so Alex?

Anyway, uh, Too long and very armature analysis incoming. As usual lol. I have far too many thoughts, as always, about my babies, and I've been writing sorry its locked Jam for the last couple days so I need to remind myself of the dumpster fire of a relationship the fic started with :D (I'm kidding, i love Jaylex in this fic and wish I hadn't done them so dirty, they could have been amazing. but also i love angst)

This whole song feel's like Alex kinda, like, reminiscing over his and Jay's relationship? Or, like, how it ended, but like, reminiscing in the moment? Do you know what I mean? Or is reminiscing over something while it's still happening just a me thing lol. Anyway, super long thing incoming (I'm so sorry, it's so long. This song has me in a chokehold).

I've grown a mouth so sharp and cruel It's all that I can give to you, my dear And when you come in quick to steal a kiss My teeth will only cut your lips, my dear

As far as Alex is concerned, his relationship with Jay didn't start out bad. Back in college, when they started their fwb situation it was pretty healthy (though that did go downhill relatively quickly) It started out fine, but tension grew as soon as Alex realized that Jay actually liked him and that he couldn't bring himself to like Jay back, or to allow himself to like Jay back. That started the friction between them, but they kept fucking because it was fun, they both enjoyed themselves, and Jay didn't call it off yet. Alex definitely liked Jay, but he didn't necessarily know he liked Jay back. And didn't know how to express it, so he just didn't.

Then obviously the stuff with the Operator started, and that changed Alex's personality a lot, making him irritable and unpleasant to be around, even for the people he'd been friends with the longest. His mouth grew sharp and cruel, but he didn't break off his thing with Jay because it was the one place where he actually felt in control of his life. Jay did what Alex told him to, and Alex didn't have to wrestle with himself to not be unkind to him, because that was what Jay wanted (as far as he'd made Alex aware, that was what he wanted out of their dynamic)

If Jay tried to initiate anything softer, or more romantic with Alex back in college (or even just mentioned it, sometimes) Alex would shut him down. His teeth cut Jay's lips when Jay went in to steal a kiss, because Alex couldn't let himself get attached, and if he let Jay kiss him without it being used as something to spur them on to acts where Alex was definitively in control, he wouldn't be able to cope with it.

(jesus this is already so long. im so sorry if you decide to read all of this dude)

And I know that you mean so well But I am not a vessel for your good intent

Jay trying to help Alex after they meet up again is pretty much the last thing Alex actually wants. He asked Jay for help to find Amy while his thoughts were being edited and glitched out by the Operator, so when he first got in contact with Jay again, he did it so he could try and kill Jay. Then he regained his senses a little and realized that the absolute worst thing Jay could do was stick around. Like, obviously Jay meant well in trying to help Alex, but Alex hadn't meant well when he'd asked for help.

Jay wants to help, and he want's to rebuild the friendship he once had with Alex. He wants to help find Amy, despite Alex leaving him for her. He wants to help figure out what happened to Alex back in college. He wants to help figure out how to save Alex from what he's figured out happened. But Alex isn't the person Jay's well intentioned helpfulness should be aimed towards.

Alex doesn't really think he needs saving, he's convinced he has to save everyone else. But he has a twisted understanding of what it means to save people, and his idea of saving people often directly lines up with the things the Operator edits his thoughts to make him do. He doesn't (can't) realize that the things he does to save people (killing them) and the things the Operator edits his thoughts to make him think it's okay to do (killing those same people) are the same thing.

When he has a bit more sense about him, he realises that killing because it's what the Operator put in his head is awful and not something he wants to do. But he doesn't see killing people to 'save them' as the same thing. He barely even sees it as killing half the time, and even when he does, it's for the greater good.

So he doesn't think he needs help and he doesn't think he needs saving. And even if he did realise he needs help, Alex doesn't believe himself worthy of being helped or saved, not when he knows what he really intended to do when he first asked Jay for help.

I will only break your pretty things I will only wring you dry of everything And if you're fine with that You can be mine like that

SO i have two lines of thinking about what this verse could mean

Post College:

Alex doesn't break pretty items that Jay owns (he doesn't have any that Alex could break, really) but he does break Jay in a way. After they argue in the parking lot, he realizes that Jay isn't going to stop trying to help him, no matter what, so he'll have to force him to, by breaking Jay's heart and making him hate him.

Jay's heart is a pretty thing: It was loving even when Alex was giving it nothing but a good fuck in return. It made Jay help Alex with his student film even as Alex became more and more unbearable to work with. It made Jay come back to help Alex all over again when his girlfriend 'disappeared'.

Alex had to save Jay, and his own (deeply buried) feelings for Jay stopped him from just killing him like he had to save Amy, and Seth, and Sarah, and all the others. He had to find another way, and the only way he could think of was to wring Jay dry of every ounce of care he still held for Alex.

OR

During College:

Alex wasn't trying to hurt Jay and break his heart, if anything he felt constantly like he was doing nothing but breaking his own heart over and over again by denying himself the chance to actually date Jay. So he kept up the fwb situation with Jay because it 'suited' both of them (aka neither of them voiced the issues they had with it to the other) until he'd wrung Jay dry and an opportunity to escape having to deal with his own sexuality (Amy) came along.

But, if Amy hadn't come along and offered Alex the perfect way out, he would have kept the fwb going for as long as he could, not willing to give up having Jay in the only way he felt he could until he absolutely had to. If Jay could be fine with that, he could be Alex's like that, with their relationship never progressing and only ever wearing the two of them down until they resented each other and couldn't take it anymore.

They were never not going to go down in flames, but they could light the fire with wet wood and suffocate slowly on the smoke until the fire finally took and burned them up quickly and painfully.

Abandon all your stupid dreams About the girl I could have been, my dear 'Cause in the night I know you burn with feelings I cannot return, my dear Oh, my dear

In college, Alex was silently begging Jay to give up his hopes of ever actually dating him, of them being together officially. He knew what Jay wanted him to be to him, but he also knew that he couldn't be that. He wanted to, somewhere squashed deep down, he really really wanted to be the soft, loving, romantic partner that Jay was waiting and hoping he'd turn into, but he knew it wouldn't happen. Maybe he didn't realize all of that consciously. Consciously he probably just thought he didn't like Jay like that at all, that he was just a good lay and that was the end of it. But he had one too many dreams about taking Jay on quiet, gentle dates for him to really only see Jay as a good fuck.

The thing is though, that he knows what Jay wants them to be to each other. He knows from the way that Jay looked at him whenever he messes up and starts treating him a little nicer, a little gentler, a little softer, when they fuck.

He knows that during those moments where they still together and catch their breaths, and Jay looks up at him like he's hung the stars just because he's brushing his sweaty hair out of his face, that Jay has those feelings and those hopes. And he knows he can't return those feelings. He can't return the love that Jay lavishes on him by not telling him to fuck off and going and finding someone who is willing to treat him the way he really wants to be treated. It kills him, but there's nothing he can do about it.

(Also good news, you're about half way through :D whoooooo, the torment isn't eternal!)

You gotta know that this won't last Desperation will erase the fact I'm keeping all Of the answers in my cigarette box Yeah, the answer's in the second before the other shoe drops And if you're blind to that I am fine with that

Back in college, Alex needed Jay to know that their arrangement couldn't last, that as much as Jay wanted it to work and wanted Alex to magically sort out the shit in his head that left him too scared to even properly date Jay in secret rather than just being fwb, it wouldn't. Alex needed Jay to know that it wouldn't change unless it was to break the whole thing off entirely, which is what happened, it was what was always going to happen. But if Alex could have made Jay realize that that was what he should have expected, and that nothing he could do would 'fix' that, maybe the not-breakup wouldn't have hurt Jay so badly.

Alex didn't want to hurt him, he wasn't trying to hurt him back in college, he was just trying to stop himself from hurting by continuing their fwb relationship. Alex's life was spiraling out of control, his own thoughts were spiraling out of his control, as were his actions sometimes, and the only time he felt secure in his control over himself and his life, was when he was controlling Jay in scenes.

The answers he always gave Jay when Jay got up the courage to try to talk about their relationship, and what he hoped it could become, weren't the truthful answers. Alex told him he didn't like him back, told him he was just a good fuck, when the real answer was that he was terrified out of his mind, and the idea of changing their relationship even a little felt dangerous. Because their fwb relationship worked and it gave Alex the control he needed, if they started dating that would bring in a huge amount of unknown variables, and if it ended up not working? That would leave Alex with nothing. Not to mention the general internalized homophobia, and the homophobia all around them meaning that it could be genuinely dangerous for both of them if the wrong people found out.

So he keeps all the real answers hidden away in a place Jay won't look for them, in a 'cigarette box' (behind the lies he tells instead) because it's something easily hidden, its something that wouldn't look out out of place, just like the lies he tells don't look out of place. Jay has no real reason to question the answers Alex gives him, they make sense and Alex's behavior seems to back up the idea that he doesn't like Jay the same way Jay likes him.

And Jay's desperation to have a relationship with Alex blinds him to the fact that it could actually be possible if only Alex would stop lying to him. Any time Jay sees a crack in Alex's facade he second guesses himself, insisting that it's just wishful thinking and that little glimpse behind the walls Alex has built was just something his hopeful, lovesick mind made up. It's always a split second, something so tiny and easy to miss that Jay automatically dismisses it.

Oh, I will ruin you Oh, I will ruin you It's a habit, I can't help it I know that you mean so well But I am not a vessel for your good intent

After college, when Jay and Alex meet up again and everything that happens after the argument in the parking lot happens, Alex knows that it's a terrible idea. He knows that all it'll do is reopen old, half healed, half festering wounds and rub salt in them, but Jay wants it, and he wants Jay so he doesn't stop them. He's lost all of his friends (whether to death or just distance), he's lost Amy, and the only thing he has left is an old, already failing not-relationship with Jay. So to tries to make himself feel better by rekindling that.

He and Jay fuck in the parking lot and Alex realizes that this is most likely going to be the last chance he ever gets to have Jay back, even just for one night. And if this is the last chance, he doesn't want it to be exactly the same as it was in college, so he takes Jay back to his house and does all the things he'd been too scared to back in college. Because who would find out? And if anyone did? Why would it matter, Alex's life had already fallen apart and become controlled by fear and a monster, what was getting beaten up for being queer in comparison to that?

This was his last chance to have Jay back, and Alex knew he had to make sure of that. He couldn't drag Jay into all of this, so he had to ruin everything in the worst way possible, and having taken Jay back to his house and treated him so nicely was (instead of coming back to bite him in the ass) going to work in his favor. Even in being nice, he was going to be hurting Jay, but that was what he had to do. Hurting Jay is a habit he can't kick, it's woven into his dna at this point and there's nothing he can do about that other than try to twist it into being something that's for Jay's own sake.

If he can just make Jay hate him enough, he can save him, he can drive him away and Jay won't be a target of the man in the black suit.

I will only break your pretty things I will only wring you dry of everything But if you're fine with that If you're fine with that

Same as earlier :]

I will poison all your happy thoughts I will love you like the ashes in my cigarette box And if you're fine with that You can be mine If you're fine with that You can be mine, oh

Jay's 'happy thoughts' that Alex is poisoning are the memories of how nicely Alex treated him when they got back to his house. In the moment of it all, he wasn't thinking of anything other than showing Jay how much he actually cared about him and how he should have been being treated all along. In the moment he just wanted to be good to Jay. It was only afterwards that he realized what he'd have to do, and he took the next morning to spit poison into their breakfast, which could have been a turning point in their relationship if only they weren't doomed by the damn narrative.

So Alex ruins the night before for Jay by telling him he hadn't even wanted to remember that it was him he was fucking. He poisons those memories forever, as well as poisoning the idea of being treated well in general for Jay.

Alex loves all those truthful answers that he kept hidden away behind lies back in college. Those truths are what he was trying to finally finally let out when he and Jay spent the night together at his house.

He loves Jay like he loves those truthful answers that he never got to give him back in college, bitterly. Those truths were things he never thought he'd get to, never wanted to get to tell Jay, they sat rotting behind the lies he told, and now he can only look at them with a painful sort of nostalgia because it's too little too late.

[wander-wren]

wrt to the “adam shouldve been a visionary” dreamer trilogy/greywaren post i’ve seen a few times (possibly reblogged?)….well, maybe, but also no.

it’s not that i don’t have my own gripes with tdt (namely, yes, not enough adam), but i just…i can’t get behind visionary adam. not canon visionary, anyway.

like. you’re telling me ronan “the choice was death or hurting adam, which wasnt a choice at all” lynch would have handled it with ANY amount of grace if adam “i will be your hands. i will be your eyes” parrish was given the ultimatum “hurt others every time you have a vision and live, or turn the visions inward and quickly die horribly”??? no!!

and maybe in this alternate version of tdt that’s the whole point, yknow. if that’s what you want, ABSOLUTELY go ahead, dream on about it, write the fic, send it to me i’d love to see. etc etc etc

but the point of the dreamer trilogy is that it’s about ronan. so if we’re keeping with that vision (ha), and with the basic premise of the series, then no, i don’t think visionary adam is a good idea.

which begs the question…what WOULD i have adam do?

[disclaimer i read each book as they came out and havent done full rereads since so my memory is spotty, pls correct anything i get wrong]

in all honesty i would keep call down the hawk essentially as it is bc i think it was good. it takes place during november, no? so potentially add in/exchange a shorter adam moment for thanksgiving break. he can help scry and figure out psychic things and be distrustful of bryde.

have winter break be during part of mister impossible. seriously where are adam’s school breaks lmao. adam is relentlessly practical and cares about ronan and he should be here to sow doubt and try to curb some of ronan’s more ecoterrorist tendencies. ronan can sneak around and hide from him and there can be tension and worry and anger. but also a lot of good pynch feelings still, ofc, bc its Them.

but don’t worry! they can still have a big fight/falling out over the ley lines/bryde/the ecoterrorism before adam leaves for school again. as silly as it is that ronan freaked out over an unread text when adam was literally napping, maybe this time it’s deliberate. or maybe adam really was napping again, or driving, or whatever. the rest of mister impossible can play out from there, or a condensed/reshuffled version of it to accommodate adam being there for a while.

greywaren can start the same, but for the love of god let ronan get out faster it is HIS BOOK. i do like henessey helping him do that i think its an important part of her character, and adam’s part in all that was very good and angsty so i wouldnt change it, but i would have it happen in the first half. ronan and adam make up and go off to do whatever was happening by the end of greywaren tbh i got confused. or something totally different! who knows.

also i just want to see adam interact with the actual visionaries and with carmen and henessey more and with bryde i think it would be very cool. very fun.

i also think gansey/blue/henry shouldve shown up literally ever at all but idk how they fit in so shh