#idk bitch maybe because they are no complaint and I don’t want to fight with a 90 year old?

[hellsbellssinclub]

I’m taking Sunday off. Fuck this job. Extra money is not worth dealing with this ward.

Not in the the fucking mood to deal with any of this 🫠

We have 2 bank staff, 2 grads one RN and me plus the ANUM. Thank fuck the Anum is one of the good ones here because this shift has been a cluster fuck and I hate it. Had an admission, bed not working, confused pts and one pt who has been getting shitty taht the ice machine isn’t working.

I am not going up stairs to get one or some fucking ice. She will not die without it she can stop being a cunt and settle the fuck down

I’m taking the weekend off. Fuck it 8 hours of extra work is not worth dealing with this

I’m having a nice fucking hot and long bath tomorrow and then do nothing else for the rest of the day

😤😤😤

[frogtanii]

hq boys as the crimes they’d commit

warnings: CRIMES, crackfic, probably many typos idk i’m so tired lmaooo, cursing, drinking ??? idfk 😩💦

an: and i did this for what?? inspired by hq hcs royalty @sugardaddykenma @hina-wit-da-glock (AJSKSJ SORRY FOR TAGGING Y’ALL IF YOU SEE THIS, IT IS DEF NOT UP TO PAR W Y’ALLS WORKS ILY)

karasuno

sawamura daichi- insurance fraud!! somehow this is such a dad crime to commit?? dadchi didn’t try (dumb excuse, how do you accidentally commit insurance fraud smh) to commit insurance fraud but at one point in his late-thirties, he was very very broke and was already working as much as possible so, he decided to fake an ankle injury, as you do, and filed a bunch of claims which made him bank. daichi kept doing it until he was able to quit one of his jobs and buy himself a really nice suit and a rolex (uhhh 🥵). he somehow never got caught tho and to this day, none of his friends know how he was able to afford a tesla on a cop’s salary (sorry daichi but acab 😔✨)

sugawara kōshi- child abandonment!! ok you can try and fight me on this but i feel in my bones that suga absolutely despises children. he can tolerate ages 10+ but anything younger than that, he will punt them into the next dimension. the thing is, people just assume he likes kids because of how good he is with his team which is why his aunt begged him to babysit his nephew taro. taro was being an absolute brat when suga took him out for the day and he was 👉👈 this close to snapping. he put taro down for like 3 seconds to pay for their ice cream and when he turned back, the demon spawn was gone. he panicked, running around the park looking for taro when it turns out, taro was just bent down behind the bench. some random karen called the police and suga has never craved murder more.

nishinoya yuu- arson!! you CANNOT tell me nishinoya doesn’t have a ~murder~ playlist that he listens to to get himself hype (me too noya, me too). one night, he got a lil too hype listening to start a riot by duckwrth and watching demolition videos on youtube. he snuck out of his house to an empty shed like 30 minutes away and maybe... lit it on fire while genocide by lil darkie played on a speaker nearby. what he did NOT anticipate was the absolute size of the fire so he freaked out and called the firefighters who promptly called the police. he didn’t want to get grounded so he called daichi to bail him out. daichi still told noya’s parents 😔.

tanaka ryūnosuke- vandalism!! tanaka had been on alt tiktok and saw a group of cool friends spray painting an abandoned building. he thought “that’s cool, lemme do that!” but then he realized he had no friends (AHDGS JK I LOVE TANAKA). he asked nishinoya who was grounded from the arson incident and he knew he definitely couldn’t ask daichi, suga, asahi, or enoshita so he decided to go it alone. that proved to be a MASSIVE mistake. he got the supplies, arrived to the building of his choice (thanks saeko :3), and decided to spray paint a huge p3ni5 in bright red paint. he finished “successfully” and zoomed back home. what he didn’t realize with his two-and-a-half braincells is that he signed his glorious piece with his full name. the cops were at his house the next morning...🧍

hinata shoyō- forgery!! hinata did NOT think that forgery was even a crime. how was he supposed to know that he wasn’t allowed to copy his mom’s signature on a permission form! all he wanted was to go to an overnight training camp 😿

kageyama tobio- attempted murder!! kageyama swears it sounds worse than was and he is absolutely incorrect. what happened was so much worse. he and hinata were having a competition to see who could hold their breath the longest underwater (you can’t tell me they haven’t done some dumbass shit like this) and kageyma lost almost instantly (he has the tiny lungs of an asthmatic). he didn’t want hinata to notice so he held hinata’s head under the water for like 10 seconds. suga walked in though, saw hinata thrashing around in the water and immediately called the police. kageyama never forgave him.

tsukishima kei- cyberbullying!! first of all, i had no idea you could get arrested for cyber bullying!? that being said, neither did tsukishima who spent 80% of his time making fun of people online (and on his real account!! bold). eventually one of the people he bullied (hinata) reported him on instagram and his very lame account was deleted (pls don’t bully people online 😤).

yamaguchi tadashi- shoplifting!! andjksh this is so funny because this scenario has happened to me and i can just SEE this happening to poor tadashi. yamaguchi gets super late night cravings (and usually tsukki will walk with him at like 3 am 🥺 nEWAYS) so he’ll sneak out and walk to the mini-mart near his house. one night, he was so tired but also super hungry so he went onto his nightly routine and basically sleepwalked into the store. he picked out his favorite chips and candy bar (which are sour cream&onion lays and milky ways in case you were wondering 😌✨) and just... walked out the store without paying. the store clerk was mysteriously missing so yamaguchi made it all the way home, ate half the bag of chips and passed out without realizing what he’d done. once he did, he cried for 2 hours straight.

nekoma

kuroo tetsurō- telemarketing fraud!! kuroo originally did telemarketing fraud as a joke?? like he was trying to prank call someone pretending that they had lost their information and they actually gave it to him??? he was mildly concerned but even more excited. he did it over and over again but he never used the info for anything. to this day, kuroo literally has a notebook full of credit card numbers and bank account passwords but he refuses to use it because he believes it’s ✨wrong✨(but it isn’t wrong to take all that information in the first place under false pretenses, not realizing that once people find out, they are forced to close credit cards and accounts but go off self righteous king). once he brought the book up to kenma and he offered to sell it on the dark web. now kuroo feels less bad about what he’s done! :D

kozume kenma- computer crime!! pfttt this one seems kinda obvious but what do you expect from kenma :). he spends so much time on the internet, he’s definitely picked up some less than legal skills that still help him now 👀. kenma did little mini crimes like getting into other people’s wifi but his crowning achievement was when he hacked into the minneapolis pd website and had it so when you opened the page, a black lives matter screen came up. he never told anyone that it was him who did it but he thinks it’s the best he’s ever done.

yaku morisuke- racketeering!! yaku, the feral king, ran an underground gambling ring in the basement of nekoma (do they have basements?? who knows! i don’t!) during his third year. the only reason it didn’t get shut down was because coach nekomata took a portion of yaku’s profits whenever he won (which was literally all the time). everyone on the team has lost money to him which is why they never play with him anymore. they won’t even let yaku play monopoly 😔.

haiba lev- indecent exposure!! poor lev’s head is so empty, he tends to fall for whatever pranks his senpai’s do to him. this time kuroo had somehow convinced him that in order to grow his schlong, he had to run outside naked for 10 minutes because the moonlight had special growing properties. lev was a lil scared ngl because he was already superrr tall and didn’t need to grow his height (or his dick ((boy is hung)) but poor lev is insecure) but he did it anyway. long story short, an old woman saw him parading around the neighborhood naked and called el policia. 0/10 dick did NOT grow and had to spend a night in jail naked 😿

aoba johsai

oikawa tōru- prostitution!! KAKKAKA iwazumi made fun of oikawa for being so shitty and said that he couldn’t pick up anyone if he tried. flattykawa took this as a personal challenge and went out onto the street, asking people if they’d have sex with him. with the way he was asking (and the way he was dressed), people assumed he was a paid w h o r e and someone eventually reported him. iwazumi had to pick oikawa up from the station- he never let him live this one down.

iwaizumi hajime- battery!! it wasn’t technically battery but oikawa is a lil bitch and overreacts (at least in his words -_-). the amount of times iwa-chan has beat the absolute shit out of oikawa is uNREAL. he just can’t handle the stupidity sometimes so he just smacks the crap outta him. not for real for real but the way oikawa reacts, you’d think a murder was occurring. one time, shittykawa screeched so loud, they got a noise complaint -_- hajime hates it in these streets.

matsukawa issei & hanamaki takahiro- conspiracy!! issei and hiro have a secret blog where they discuss conspiracy theories and such but one day, hiro found an article that explained how jfk’s death was an inside job. he sent it to issei who began to theorize how HE’D do it. that devolved into a massive thread on their blog of how’d they murder a president which blew up and caught the attention of the cia who sent the a letter telling them to quietly delete the blog. they did because they were terrified but they kept the letter and now it’s framed in issei’s apartment.

kyōtani kentarō- assault!! baby is an angry little boy but for all the right reasons. he was at a bar (when he’s all grown up, duh) and he spotted an absolute drunk creep hitting on a girl who clearlyyyy did not reciprocate his feelings. kyōtani, being the respectful king that he is, went over to the guy, pulled him by the jacket and beat. the. shit. out of him. while the bartender was happy with the fact that the creep was out, he was not impressed with the damage to his bar. he just sent kyōtani out who casually adjusted his leather jacket and rings, and hopped on his motorcycle to ride away into the night. i am the FATTEST simp for this man ONG 🥴

shiratorizawa

ushijima wakatoshi- stalking!! poor ushijima has no idea how intimidating he can be. he was on a train late at night after practice and the woman sitting across from him left her purse sitting on the seat. being the gentleman that he is, he took the purse and followed her to return it. the only problem is that the closer he got, the faster she ran and when he tried to speak (yknow with his scary, deep, baritone voice), the woman screeched and called the cops on him because he was a “strange, big man who was following her home.” when the police showed up, ushijima was painfully confused and just held up this tiny ass purse in his massive hands. the cops laughed.

tendō satori- ???!! no one knows what crimes (or how many 😳) tendō has committed but each of his teammates have different ideas- ushijima: “i don’t believe tendou is capable of committing any sort of felony. well, maybe murder”; semi: “of COURSE he’s capable of crimes??! do you know how many times i’ve seen him come into the dorm with a suspicious stain of red on his sweater?? *shudders* if i end up dead, tendō did it...” in actuality, the only crime tendō has committed is ~drugs~ but he’s not bouta tell his friends that.

goshiki tsutomu- would be a VICTIM!! my baby tsutomu would NEVER commit a crime!!! i love this man with my everything and the only crime he’s committed is being too damn cute 😤🥺

[shadowhunterspolycule]

the first major snowfall in ages finally hit nyc recently and all im imaging is the Polycule attaching snowboards and the such to the back of simons van and them just being happy with snow day activities

oof, this ask is from so many months ago, i'm so sorry. i was very busy. i'm also not sure how great my answer will be because i'm a whole ass brazilian so i have no idea what snow day activies are, but i will try anyway

so, major advantages: meliorn has magic and maia is a werewolf and if i'm not mistaken it's said or implied that werewolves have a higher core body temperature than humans. or maybe i made that up, but it's canon for me

major disadvantages: raphael and simon are vampires, which means that technically they are kind of "cold-blooded" creatures? i mean they would still have other important temperature regulating mechanisms such as mitochrondrial heat production and muscle contraction, but they basically don't have a heartbeat/blood flow/arguably blood at all, which is a major way of regulating core temperature, and canonically their skin feels pretty cold, so like. they probably are more suscetible to temperature changes is what i'm saying (i'm mostly going off this source [link] for this. i'm already overthinking this answer good job me)

plus i am once again saying that raphael is from guadalajara which means that like me he is used to Worm Temperchoores, like, WAY warmer than NYC's, and he grew up without pretty much any kind of snow at all. and sure he's lived in NYC for years so he's SOMEWHAT used to the cold but he still spent his formative years in guadalajara, so like. he fucking hates the cold, is my point

but back to major advantages: meliorn and magic! which means they can do something about it. don't ask me what, but i'm sure they can do Something. i mean i'm sure to some extent the downworld has already figured out a solution to this problem cuz while it might not kill them (since they're immortal) it is very uncomfortable and probably makes them slower, which is a disadvantage to say the least. plus raphael has magnus who knows that raphael is a grumpy ass in the cold. also i think java is similarly hot so magnus Gets It, but idk what the temperatures usually are in jakarta

anyway my point is that magnus probably got some coats/vests/blankets spelled for his boy so they can keep him toasty (since they are otherwise kinda useless for vampires since they rely on trapping body heat and vampires don't have any) and vampires in general probably have access to that kinda stuff, but still, rapha gets grumpy and his face is still cold and everything is just awful and he doesn't understand how gringos do it. his complaints fly for about 2 days before the New Yorker Squad™ (particularly simon and maia, who drag clary and inevitably everyone else is there) decides that they've had enough of this and that raphael will learn how to enjoy the snow

he is like "i am not willingly going into the snow! you don't understand, i'm a vampire, i won't get back my body heat the way you do". simon: "i literally am also a vampire". raphael: "you're just a fledgeling, you wouldn't understand" "i've been a vampire for like, ten years!" "seven" "same thing" "it's so not the-" "i have gone through enough winters to be able to understand, and you, sir, are going to learn to enjoy the snow. have you EVER even made a snow angel?" "no" "well this changes today"

he literally has no excuse because meliorn has this super sweet spell that keeps him from losing heat so like. he doesn't even need a coat (he's still wearing it and preferably also a scarf and gloves because he is, first and foremost, dramatic) so he is forced to have a day off and go play in the snow, woe is him

(he tells the clan that should they need anything they should ring him, but they're like "nah simon has promised us pictures of you in the snow, we can handle ourselves" and it's not like raphael is too busy these days, really)

anyway! they have fun. simon strikes me as the winter lover kind of person altho really i think he enjoys all seasons in their own way, but like... hot chocolate and scarves and snow fights, yes? and while i think maia might prefer warmer temperatures she can double enjoy herself in the snow now that she's a werewolf because she gets less cold and like, damn, tell me that being a wolf and jumping headfirst into a pile of snow wouldn't be fun. you can't, unless you're a bad taste bitch

i also think maia is the building snow forts kind of gal because, idk, she just looks that way. and sure she's excited about kicking everyone's asses during snowball fight but FIRST she needs to have a full fort complete with towers and windows for her to throw snowballs from and shit

rapha is the one that helps her build it the most cuz he likes the motions and besides it is a little less energetic than whatever it is that the rest of these wackos are doing. again izzy didn't get any chances to play in the snow either so naturally clary is dragging her around from snow activity to snow activity and running around everywhere and holy shit they have so much energy. simon is there as well naturally and eventually they make it their goal in life to ruin maia's and rapha's fort, which ends up kickstarting the mandatory snowball fight. even tho maia only has a half complete fort

(eventually when everyone has left maia and rapha will come back and finish the fort. it's the principle of the thing. raphael also wants to build an igloo or some shit and maia rolls her eyes but actually i can see him being into building snow things? it's just soothing and nice and quiet and he can pretend there's Elegance and Finesse to it)

and meliorn is just watching them curiously the whole time because of course they know snow but they dont really know about Snow Activities these funky little non-seelies dedicate themselves too. i feel like the seelies have their own snow activities, maybe like, festivals? dances with the snowfall and games to welcome the change in the environment, that sort of thing. but they are nothing like snow angels ("it doesn't look like an angel in the slightest, just like you kept moving your legs and arms in the snow" "thats what it is" "right, so...?") or snowmen ("also doesn't look like a man" "meliorn we aren't exactly artists") or snow fights (altho that one they can appreciate) and they're really interested in like participating even though they dont understand and everyone has to keep telling them that it's Not That Deep and izzy is so amused she just kisses them one billion times

eventually they start doing it just to get more of those laugh-filled kisses of hers

also at least one of them, probably izzy of rapha or meliorn since they are the snow ignorant ones of the group, is absolutely horrible at making snowmen. probably izzy tbh because shadowhunters dont exactly have a knack for these things. like clary's snowman is all artistic and simon's is fun and creative, maia's is pretty, raphael's and meliorn's look like the Platonic Ideal Of A Snowman, and izzy's looks like A Pile Of Dirt. clary giggles at it for an embarrassing amount of time, which inevitably leads to izzy taking the snow from her snowman to throw snowballs at clary and triggering a new snowfight

and then they have some soup inside and cuddle under a blanket as they fight over what they should watch and all is well with the world

[ri-ahhh]

idk if you’ve heard the song toxic by kehlani but maybe you could write something based off that song where a tipsy y/n calls up her on and off ex (grayson) to come over 👀 i love your writing btw

It’s already late when your best friend Fallon knocks sharply on the front door of your apartment. You had texted her not even half an hour ago, all up in your feels after you saw Grayson’s Snapchat story of him and some friends at the beach, an unfamiliar and pretty blonde girl tucked under his arm in one of the photos. She had responded immediately, letting you know she was on her way.

Feet clad in your fuzzy pink slippers, the strings of Grayson’s old hoodie keeping the hood cinched around your face tightly, you heave yourself off your comfy couch and trudge over to the front door to let her in. When you swing it open, she’s standing there with her hands full with her purse in one and an obvious brown paper bag in the other.

You stand aside silently, letting her pass the threshold and dump her shit on the kitchen island. “You didn’t have to bring alcohol, Fal, you know I don’t drink like that anymore.”

“Exactly,” Fallon deadpans, whipping out the bottle from the bag. “You stopped drinking because of Grayson Dolan. I think you owe it to yourself to let yourself start drinking because of him, too.”

You push the hood off your head and take the blue bottle from her when she offers it to you. Your brows raise. “You bought me Don Julio to cry over my ex? Isn't this, like, $50 for a bottle?”

Fallon waves a hand dismissively. “That’s exactly why I got it; you’re not gonna cry over your ex. Wine of any kind is crying juice. Vodka makes you a dumb bitch, and bottom shelf tequila makes you cry, a dumb bitch, and a ho. You need the good stuff, so we can bring out the bad bitch. Who can talk about her ex, get it all out, without crying again, or texting him, or posting a thirst trap.”

You roll your eyes. “That was only one time I accidentally sent you that nude instead of Grayson. And we were still together, so it didn't count as being a ho. I was just giving my boyfriend good spank bank material.”

Fallon is already rummaging through your cabinets, in search of the nearly-forgotten shot glasses. “Babe, you know I support every woman’s right to be a ho as much as she wants, especially after a breakup, but this is Grayson we’re talking about. You two were so into each other, it was toxic. You fought all the time, and by your own admission fixed everything with sex. You’re addicted, and as your best friend, I’m inserting myself here to keep you from talking to him anymore.”

She turns around, two little glasses in hand, and looks at you then the bottle in your hands pointedly. You give in and pull out the stopper and the Don Julio Blanco to her. 

“Now, I’m not gonna get you drunk. But we’re gonna get enough in you to loosen up that tongue, you’re gonna get all your Grayson shit out before I leave, and we’re gonna go to bed happy and feeling better,” she says matter-of-factly, pouring the clear liquid into the glasses. She hands one of them to you. “Cheers, bitch.”

Right before you clink and tap, Fallon’s phone buzzes. She leans over to check it where it’s resting on the counter, and her eyes widen. “Shit...”

“What?” you ask concernedly. Fallon puts down her glass and starts typing madly.

“It’s my downstairs neighbor. She said Roxy’s been barking for nearly an hour straight and she’s gonna file another noise complaint if I don’t get there to let her out.” She stops for a moment and looks at you. “Shit. I’ll get evicted if I get another one. Like actually evicted.”

Fallon’s dog Roxy has serious attachment issues, which is usually extremely annoying, but right now you're thanking her. You love Fallon to death, but this isn’t exactly the friend therapy you needed or expected when you called her up to come over. 

“Dude, go! I promise I’m fine. I don’t need to worry about you being homeless on top of my shit.”

“Okay. I’m sorry, babe, I promise I’ll FaceTime you as soon as I’m home.” She’s gathering her things, leaving the tequila open on the counter. “Make good choices, please. Love you!”

“Love you!” you call out behind her as she rushes through the door.

The door slams, and it leaves a ringing silence almost as loud as your best friend. You look around at your suddenly empty apartment, your eyes landing on the still-full shot glasses.

What the hell? You snatch one of them off the counter and down it with a grimace. Admittedly, it was the best tequila you’ve ever had, but it’s still tequila. The burn travels down your esophagus and settles in your near-empty belly. The sensation reminds you that you’ve hardly eaten today, and one shot was probably more than enough considering your lack of food and the fact that you’ve probably reverted to being an extreme lightweight after not drinking for so long. 

You and Grayson have barely been broken up for a month, and despite how hard it’s been, you haven't been tempted to touch more than a glass of wine or an occasional Whiteclaw if the stress of the day was too much. But it never felt right to have more. Grayson is still a part of you, even though that’s part of the reason you broke up to begin with. The two of you were becoming codependent on each other, which was turning into jealousy and neediness that built up into huge, explosive fights and ended with you fucking on whatever surface was nearest.

It was, indeed, a vicious, toxic cycle. Even though you tell yourself it’s for the best, you also can’t shake the feeling that the two of you aren’t done. That there’s still hope for your relationship, especially now that you’ve spent time apart.

Fallon’s tactics have backfired as you stomp back to the couch and snatch your phone off the cushion. Julio has given you the liquid courage you need to do exactly what Fallon told you not to.

I miss u

A classic. You wish you had it in you to be more creative, but the simple truth of it is: you do miss him. You miss his laugh. You miss his smell. You miss coming home to him, either here or at his house, after a long day. You miss his kisses. You miss his dick. 

There’s little shame for yourself in admitting that. You used it to solve your problems, but you were blind to that before the breakup. Everything is more clear now, especially the fact that you still love him deeply. 

Suddenly, your phone starts buzzing. You don’t even look at the caller ID, assuming it’s Fallon calling impatiently from her car. 

“Hello?”

“Hey.”

The deep voice on the other end of the phone startles you, and you hold it away from your face to see his name in big, white letters. No longer ‘Gray’ with some heart emojis, but ‘Grayson Dolan.’

You swallow hard and put the phone back to your ear. “Uh, hi, Hey.”

There’s a beat of silence before he speaks again. “I, uh, got your text.”

You don’t say anything, picking at a piece of fluff on your slipper.

“I miss you too. Like, a lot. Too much.”

You bite your lip tightly, chewing it nervously. You hadn’t expected him to fucking call. Calling and texting had two very different vibes. Over text, you would probably say something cute and calm and ask if the two of you could get coffee tomorrow.

But a call? You can hear his voice for the first time in weeks. It makes you want to jump through the phone and wrap him in your arms, to cry in his chest -- from happiness or sadness, you’re not sure. Either way, this is the closest you’ve felt to him in so long, and it makes you weak.

Grayson may be loud, but he’s good at shutting up when he wants an answer. It’s one of the things that drove you most crazy when you fought. He’d yell his piece, then stare at you until you had a retort. Sometimes you did, sometimes you didn't; you were always both at fault, for the most part. 

You take a deep breath and find your voice at last. “Me too. I...I haven’t been doing so great. Without you.”

She hears him sigh. “Me neither.” He pauses, and you wait anxiously. “Look, I’ll be honest. I was with Ethan when I got your text and he...well, he doesn’t think it’s a good idea that I called you. Or that we’re talking to each other, period.”

He leaves his sentence hanging, almost like an open-ended question without phrasing it as such. You can't stop the laugh from bubbling past your lips as you shake your head. “Fallon was just over at my place and said the same thing. So that either makes us really fucking stupid, or our best friends just don’t understand.”

“Famous last words, either way,” Grayson chuckled with you. You can hear crickets chirping in the background, and imagine he’s sitting outside by the pool. The two of you used to like to do that together.

You decide to follow his example and head out to your balcony, plopping down in one of the plastic chairs with your knees tucked to your chest. “What do you think about us talking, then?”

He doesn't miss a beat. “I think I miss you. And I love you. And I know I fucked up a lot, but I’ve been actually reflecting on everything that was wrong with us and I think I know now what I can do better. This time apart has been really fucking hard, but I think it was a good thing. For me, anyways.”

Your lip finds its way between your teeth again. You clamp it hard to hold back the shake in your voice. “Me too, Gray. I wasn’t perfect by any means, either. But as long as we both know what we need to work on, I want to try again if you do.”

“I do want that,” Grayson sighs, relief flooding his voice. He laughs that laugh you missed so much. “You have no idea how happy that makes me. I’ve been driving E crazy having these meltdowns all the time thinking about how I fucked up so bad that I wouldn’t ever get you back.”

You smile into your knees, and decide in that moment to risk it for the sake of your biscuit, which throbs at the mere thought and sound of him. “Is it too early to mention that I miss all of you?”

“Careful, or I might think you only want me back for my body.”

“I mean, I definitely had to use my imagination a few times without the real thing. I only had to think of you, though. How good you fuck me.”

This right here is probably where the tequila is coming in to play. Fallon was wrong again; you’re about to go Full Ho, having phone sex with your kind-of ex.

His breath picks up nearly imperceptibly, but you can also hear the smirk in his voice. “How many times did I make you squirt in the tiny house shed that one time, baby? That was so hot.”

“Mm, it was so good, Gray. I remember you had to carry me inside to your bed because I couldn’t walk. And then you fucked me nice and hard on your bed.” A rush of wetness floods your panties, and you squeeze your thighs together. “You came all in my mouth that night. I miss how your cum tastes.”

“Fuck,” he whispers. “Can I come over?”

You hesitate. You think of Fallon, of Ethan, of Don Julio. Of Grayson.

“Yes. Please.”

[roccinan]

I'm risking sounding terribly egoistical by sending a public ask about my own url here but I'm doing it!!!!! I need the super graphic-details

Your ego is my ego, dearest nharidy. There's a reason the doc is named after you hahaha

[ 👉 My Wips ]

OK so the Absolvisti sequel's been sitting in my head since well, the week after I published it lmao. But I never got around to writing because I wasn't sure if it was being too self-indulgent (I'm feeling more confident about it now that I know you'll be pleased by it!). Also because I was having trouble deciding on a pov: should I continue with the Tatiana 1st person pov as always? Change it up to Martin 3rd person? or surprise: 1st person Don Juan?? Should it be a new chapter or new fic? (def. open to suggestions here!) Also I think it'd be Iconic to publish a story in the Dies Irae universe with our new cat profile pics.

Graphic detail time :D Prepare for a SUPER LONG answer LMAO. Most of the things I mentioned here and here will make their way in, with maybe a bonus ns/fw chapter from Martin or Andres' pov. The main story is SFW however, and there's like a hilariously high amount of hurt!Andres, who doesn't have demons to rely on anymore but still carries all the permanent damage the demons left on him:

It takes place some months after Absolvisti so Andres is doing better, but not fully well yet. He's not actively dying anymore but he does faint a lot and isn't exactly making a full recovery. Because I wanted to make things harder for Martin. Because he's not a young man anymore, the wounds were super extensive, and this is the result of years of accumulated damage + a form of "withdrawal" (the shadows/demons that used to feed on him were also the things that kept him alive so it's one big cycle that his body isn't leaving that easily).

This means every time Martin plans something nice for him like seeing a play or going out for a nightly walk, Andres can't go through the whole thing without feeling unwell. (Martin: "I over-exerted the love of my life. I am so SELFISH. what does Andres see in me??" Andres: "I disappointed the love of my life. I am the WEAKEST. what does Martin see in me??" Tatiana: feed me, bitches)

They manage to sit through one play though (not sure if I want this at the beginning or end of the fic LMAO). It's the one Bogota wrote, The Necromancer's Lament, a "biopic" about Andres' life. And it's every bit as terrible as Martin expected. Bad special effects, bad acting especially from Martin's actor, Andres' actor has a beard, and Tatiana looks like this:

Andres thinks it's the best play ever. Martin hates it and demands a refund. Tatiana hates it too but Don Juan's like, "mi amor, you are still beautiful to me, even as a deformed puppet."

Martin's 120-page complaints aside, Bogota runs the theatre troupe with his partner, Nairobi/Agata, and they're both going to start teaching performing arts at Santa Catalina because the last drama professor died lmao

Meanwhile, Santa Catalina has a new bad girl student, Tokyo/Silene! Sergio took her in as a charity case after some dark and mysterious events in her life. But Tokyo being Tokyo can't stay away from trouble, and she becomes obsessed with finding the demons that Andres expelled. Some bizarre possessions start happening again and the school's sponsors force Raquel to keep it under wraps. (Raquel: maybe if you increased funding, we wouldn't have so many problems!!)

In the meantime, Martin gets that letter from a long lost relative asking to meet him. Not sure about the order of this either. Anyway, Martin was planning to ignore the relative, but Andres insists he go. Either Tatiana or Don Juan accompany him. Martin learns that he's the sole heir of his dead parents across the sea (the will: “we forgive you for being a heretic, a freak of nature, and the alchemist of Palermo. also no hard feelings for leaving you to die as a baby xoxoxo”). There's one (1) condition though: he has to end his partnership with the necromancer. Martin: NO THANKS.

So while Martin's dealing with this unexpected drama, Sergio decides to call in Andres' expertise TM again because it's also a good excuse to talk to his brother. Martin is Very wary about this and rejects him. But Andres insists that it'll be fine. Plus, maybe he wants to turn a new leaf and help Santa Catalina for nothing in return this time. Not everyone gets a second chance at life and he doesn't want to be a bad person anymore uwu (Tatiana: "Andres was a pretentious piece of shit, surprising no one." Martin: "Nobody deserves Andres, not even me, and I'm like, the most amazing person in the world.")

Andres comes to do the exorcism with the random priest the school hired. And they discover there aren't any demons- it's just some ghost fucking around (maybe I'll make it the spirit of Gandia or Alicia since they haven't shown up yet lol). Anyway, it doesn't go very well but Andres gets rid of the creature or whatever. Not before it punctures a hole in his side though. Then Martin loses it, just full-on screams at Sergio for almost getting Andres killed again, makes a lot of threats against the school, etc. etc.

Raquel, being more useful, plugs up the wound. But the priest accidentally provokes Martin more by asking Raquel if he should mop up Andres' blood with holy water or something. What if the necromancer's blood is cursed?? And now it's all over the floor, so disgusting :/

Martin, already in a very bad mood, beats the priest up.

They go home. Martin's in a really sour mood and he just doesn't understand why Andres isn't mad at Sergio. Martin: "It's really emotionally damaging to me if you don't give a fuck about yourself." Andres makes him even angrier by bringing up the Berrote family will and having the audacity to suggest Martin leave him for money. He makes a huge case about how he literally has nothing to offer Martin except a body that barely works and a terrible reputation. Martin: "I lost a fucking eye for you??"

They fight and Martin storms away, and also kidnaps Don Juan, his honorary new soulmate who would never betray him like Andres.

A while after this, the Spanish Inquisition local clergy arrests Andres for "questioning." Because the shenanigans at Santa Catalina are still going on and that one priest suspects him of being behind everything just because. Raquel's the one who bails him out. She may not like Sergio's brother, but the way everyone else treats him is ridiculous.

Andres limps home, hoping Martin's still away. Surprise! Martin felt guilty and came back. And it's pretty obvious that Andres has just been tortured. Martin: "Say no more. I'm going to kill some people."

Andres gets Martin to not do anything stupid by dropping the thing with the will. He admits he was wrong for saying those things to Martin and he selfishly, genuinely wants to stay with Martin forever. Martin: "I'm still going to kill your brother. You may appease me with a kiss."

Does it end here? No! Because the shit at Santa Catalina is still happening. Andres and Martin solve it for good though. But it's all very dramatic. I'm vaguest about this part, but maybe Nairobi's injured saving Tokyo, and this gives Tokyo the wakeup call to move on from whatever baggage that got her into this mess in the first place. Then Andres' solution for saving Nairobi is to ask Martin to work that alchemist magic and transfer her wounds onto himself (at this point, we're just going overboard with the Andres whump but asdfasdf why stop??). Raquel: Sergio, tell your brother to stop dying. That's a bad example for the kids.

It takes a lot of convincing, but Martin relents in the end, only because he trusts Andres. At this point, Andres has been through so much that he physically cannot take any more damage. Like, he just can't lmao. So the whole process puts Andres into a coma or something. But we don't need him anymore because now we can revel in Martin's angst!

Martin spends the rest of his time crying and angsting and guilt-tripping Sergio, and just being very loud in general. He also writes back to his family and tells them to fuck off.

Once we indulge in enough of Martin's pain, Andres finally wakes up. Still very bad off but he's alive and not showing signs of dying any time soon. So that's good enough for Martin. They have a nice heart-to-heart, and idk, maybe Raquel comes to see them because Sergio's too embarrassed to. Until Andres insists, because he loves hermanito unconditionally uwu. Martin: "watch your back, Sergio. I might murder you in your sleep (:"

Then at the very end (I have no idea how long this story is LOL), there's some kind of family photoshoot between Raquel, Sergio, and Paula. Everyone's raving over this new invention called the "camera." Andres is admiring it from a distance until Raquel's like, "get over here. what part of FAMILY photoshoot do you not understand!?"

Andres is shocked pikachu face because good will towards him for once?? he's being included in something?? people want him around?? what is happening??

Martin's happy for him though. Then he's admiring from a distance until Raquel's like, "I said FAMILY photoshoot. Get over here, Martin!"

Tatiana didn't want to be a part of it, but Paula saw her favorite talking cat and like, grabbed her lmao. Don Juan photobombs it because he can't be excluded from an activity with Tatiana, especially when his former rival Andres is in the photo too. (His current rival is Casanova, an unworthy white cat vying for Tatiana's affections)

Sergio proposes to Raquel. The end! Yes, the kitty love triangle is also a central theme of this story LMAO Hope that satisfies you, nharidy! And I welcome any and all suggestions!

[snarkwrites]

03 | upside down ; steve harrington

NOTES:

So, uh.. did I mention this is not even remotely close to a slow burn? Because surprise it's not. I wanted it to be one so so so bad too. But it'll be okay, I'll live. Maybe next time, lmaooo. Anyway, as I said in the notes on chapter 2, parts one, two, this one and maaaybe four, I haven't written it just yet so Idk how it'll go tbh, are potentially set BEFORE the series starts.

Summary:

She moves back to Hawkins and manages to turn his life completely upside down. In the best of ways.

But how will everything play out between them? Also, can they handle all the weirdness ahead? We shall see.

Warnings:

LOOSE CANON COMPLIANCE AT BEST, TOTAL DEVIATION AT WORST - this is just an up front catch all because sometimes, things happen that I don’t particularly care for (the senseless death of Barb, anybody?) and if you’re one of those canon only people, this is here to warn you that this is not the fic for you. LANGUAGE, OCCASIONAL GORE, MONSTERS / FANTASY ELEMENTS, TEENAGE DRAMA AND SHENANIGANS - Obviously, teenagers are going to do stuff. They’re at that point in their life where not every decision they make is the best one. So if you’d rather skip over this kind of thing (teen drinking, fighting, etc) then yeah.. you’ve been warned. THIS IS NOT A SLOW BURN, I REPEAT NOT SLOW AT ALL / EVENTUAL FILTHY GOOD NESS - because lets be real.. we’re all wondering when we’re gonna drop the plot and get to the good stuff. When this chapter occurs, I will flair it with an M. In the meantime, if you’re not into slow burn or mutual pining, then you’re probably not going to care about this.

Other Parts

[ SOUNDTRACK | PART ONE | PART TWO]

Other Stuff

[ FAQ - TAG LIST DOC ]

Tagging:

There’s nobody on my list yet but… If you wanna be tagged for this, tell me pls. It will make me overjoyed.

Throwing out a no pressure tag to @RAMPAGEWRITING​ and @TWISTNET​ as well as @CHASINGEVERYBREAKINGWAVE​ just because. No pressure though bbies!

THREE.

“You can’t be serious. Her mother was the town tramp. And from what I’ve seen of her and the way she dresses, she’s on the fast track to follow in those footsteps.” Carol’s statement and her voice annoyed Steve.

He rolled his eyes. Shrugging.

“I’m serious. Did you think I was asking your permission?” Steve raised a brow at Carol and laughed. “Because if you did, you were wrong. I do what I want.”

Carol grimaced and grumbled that she was absolutely not going to be nice to Jennifer Brown just because Steve wanted to put his dick inside her.

Tommy smirked, leaning in while Carol was on her little tangent to mutter into his ear, “Lucky bastard.”

Steve chuckled, nodding in agreement with Tommy.

Brown eyes scanned the crowd, searching for any sign of Jennie. He spotted her wandering the midway, one of those giant cotton candy sticks in her hand, sandwiched between Barb and Nancy, the three of them laughing. All he could do was stare at her. Smile to himself at the way she threw her head back to laugh. Follow the sway of her hips like his eyes had magnets attached.

Carol spotted her too and pretended to gag. “Does she not have a grasp of the concept of clothing, Steve?”

“Carol, do you ever stop and think that maybe everyone doesn’t want your crappy opinion?” Steve quipped, rolling his eyes at her. Tommy mouthed an apology.

Steve shrugged it off, telling them he’d meet up with them later if he felt like it and didn’t forget. Then he wandered over, falling into line behind Jennie. Wrapping his arms around her waist and snickering when she whirled around, eyes full of fire and ready to explode because she thought it was some random playing grab ass.

Steve raised his hands, chuckling. Biting his lip as he gazed down at her and the way she lazily swatted at his chest. “Easy, Jennie. It’s just me.”

“You can’t just do that! I thought you were that asshole who wouldn’t leave us alone over by the spinning tea cups.” Jennie took a sip of her drink, blowing bubbles into the straw. She held it up to Steve and he took it, taking a sip or two. “Are we still on for tonight?”

She nodded, smiling up at him. “Nancy, Barb and I just wanted to come together early. A girl thing.” she explained.

Steve wanted to swear to himself when he heard Tommy clear his throat from nearby. With Carol in tow, of course. Tommy nodded to Jennie and smirked at Steve as he gave Jennie a playful wink. “Aren’t you gonna introduce your girl to your best friend, man? He has no manners. My name is Tommy.”

Carol rolled her eyes and grumbled about Tommy being a flirt right in front of her and as per usual, her complaints went in one ear and right out the other.

Jennie eyed Tommy with a raised brow, shaking her head. Glancing at Steve who chuckled. “She knows who you are, dumbass. She lived here for a while, remember?”

Carol was giving Jennie a frosty glare. From beside Jennie, Nancy and Barb nudged each other, whispering, watching the two.

“I know I haven’t forgotten her.” Carol spoke up.

“Oh, I haven’t forgotten you either.” Jennie responded, tensing up. Folding her arms over her chest as she glanced at Carol with thinly veiled disinterest.

“Okay, no fights. Carol, come on.” Tommy spoke up, letting his gaze linger on Jennie just long enough that Steve tensed a little, gave him an annoyed look and shoved tightly clenched fists into the pockets of his jeans.

Tommy and Carol wandered off and Steve chuckled. Pulling his hand out of his pocket, dragging it through his hair. “I’ll come pick you up at 8.”

He stepped closer, curious as to whether she’d be open to him kissing her in front of her friends. Because things were kind of shaky. They really hadn’t gotten to talk about last night quite yet.

Jennie surprised him because she stepped closer too. Hooking her fingers in the belt loops of his jeans. Closing the distance between them when she did so. He chuckled. Leaning down a little, his arms slipping around her as his crashed his mouth against her mouth. Grinning into the kiss as the taste of her watermelon shaved ice filled his mouth. He deepened the kiss and as it pulled away so they could both catch their breath, he joked with Nancy and Barb, “Don’t let her get into too much trouble, yeah?”

“Oh haha sir. If memory serves, you got involved in just as much as me when we were kids.” Jennie teased, raising up on her feet to fluff his hair and turn up the collar of his polo shirt. She pouted as she stepped away and as she walked off with Nancy and Barbara, Steve leaned against the wooden post nearby and watched her walking. Fanning himself and smiling like an idiot.

Once he knew no one was watching, he jumped up and down, pumping his fist in the air in victory.

XXX

“Shit, shit.” I stomped my foot, blowing at a curl that refused to go where I wanted it to go. Frowning at the offending strands of hair, I swatted them out of my eyes. From my closet, Nancy called out, “Hey? Think I can borrow this white sundress?”

“Yeah! Go for it.” I called out to her as I tried to get into a steady position to apply my mascara. Nancy stepped out of my closet, holding the dress up to her in the mirror. I smiled and spoke up, “Carol’s still the uptight killjoy, I see.”

“Carol Perkins is a bitch.”

I pretended to be shocked when Nancy said it and Nancy shrugged, blushing a little as she laughed. “It’s the truth though!”

“I think her entire reason for walking over earlier today was just to be rude.”

“Or to be weird and creepy about Steve. She had this huge crush on him last year, I think? Anyway, Steve turned her down from what I heard and that’s why she went for Tommy instead.” Nancy picked up a lipstick from her makeup bag, lightly bumping against me and laughing when I did it back.

“Barb’s meeting us after the movie, right?”

“Mhm. She said Logan was taking her to one of those fancy restaurants over in Rollins before though. Their anniversary.” Nancy smiled and laughed softly. “They’re so cute, I swear.”

“I know. It’s so sweet it kinda makes my teeth hurt.”

“Excuse me? Who was practically draped all over Steve earlier today when we ran into him?”

“I was not draped all over him.” I corrected, blushing a little as I said it because I knew for a fact that yes, I was lying through my teeth. I shrugged.

“Was he kissing you like that last night? Because if so… Wow.” Nancy teased, fanning herself with the issue of Seventeen that sat next to my hairbrush on my vanity.

I blushed even more, biting my lip as I nodded.

“I’ve never seen him get that handsy before.” Nancy mused, stirring the pot a little. I took a deep breath and sat down my lipstick, turning to look at her. Raising my pinkie. “What I’m about to confess to you does NOT leave this room.”

“What?” Nancy’s brow raised as she linked pinkies with me and laughed softly.

“I’m a virgin.” I admitted, shrugging. It wasn’t a big deal either way, I just hadn’t met anyone that particularly sparked my interest in that way for more than a day or two at a time. And I was nothing if not picky. ,, Just admit you never got over your stupid crush and go, sheesh.” the thought came, making me smile. Because it was true. I really hadn’t gotten over my crush.

I think that’s what kind of freaked me out so much about me and Steve if I’m being honest. Knowing that I hadn’t ever gotten over a crush I had on him when we were way too young to really know or understand anything.

“That’s really not a big deal. I mean I am too. So is Barb. Or she was, the last time either of us mentioned anything.” Nancy smiled at me. “It just means we’re selective. Stronger. I don’t know, but I do know it’s not a bad thing at all.”

“Now if a certain short order cook at my nana’s diner were to take you out for a long moonlit drive…” I teased gently, just to watch Nancy blush. She shrugged, but she nodded at the same time. Shushing me as she giggled. “Yeah. But I mean, I am not about to act on that right now…”

“But you’ve thought about it.” I asked.

“And you haven’t?”

“Maaybe?” I answered, laughing a little. “I came close to just getting it over with last year but I came to my senses. I mean, I knew the guy wasn’t the guy if you get my drift. Besides, if he kissed like a Hoover vacuum, I really wasn’t keen on finding out about… Other things. Especially not when I bought myself a buddy.”

Nancy’s brow quirked. I held my fingers to my lips and tiptoed over to my top drawer, pulling it open. Showing her the vibrator I’d gotten myself last year. I mean, she's my friend, I know she's not going to go tell everybody. I'm also not the least bit ashamed of literally anything about myself. Private matters included.

“So you’re not really a virgin?” she asked. I shrugged. “I am as far as doing it with a guy. As far as other things? Nah. So yes and no.”

“I bet your mom flipped out.” Nancy raised her hand, covering her mouth.

“Actually, she took me to buy it. Something about she was too damn young to have me coming home knocked up with not one clue what guy was the lucky donor.”

“Ugh, my mom cringes if I even hint at anything involving a guy. And don’t even get me started about the ongoing battle with my dad about my makeup.”

“Oh, Hank is an actual child when I’m putting on makeup and getting ready to go out. He’ll insist that I wait in the living room and make the guy walk up to the front door. So he can see them.” I smiled to myself. “At least he cares. If it weren’t for him or my Nana, not sure how my life would be and I mean that.”

“Yeah, your mom was something else.”

“Remember that time she came to pick me up in that stupid jumper and the gogo boots? With a flask? On the back of some guy’s motorcycle? Just to walk me home? Then she told our teacher “It’s vodka.”” I cringed at the memory, sighing quietly.

“I hate that it took us so long to even get a little close like we were before the accident.” I muttered after a few seconds and Nancy nodded solemnly.

She happened to see the time on my alarm clock on the nightstand and she swore, hurrying into my bathroom to change clothes. “Crap! Jonathan said he’d be here at 7.”

“Nancy, it’s only 6:30.” I laughed at her rushing around trying to find her shoe as she stepped out of my bathroom and into my room. I spotted her shoe and tossed it to her.

“ Deep breaths. It’s just two people going to a carnival together, woman. Pull yourself together.” I teased gently, placing my hands on her upper arms. She nodded, taking several long and deep breaths. I don’t think they really helped, but.. I tried.

Feel Like Makin Love came on the radio and the both of us devolved into a fit of loud laughter that ended in us collapsed on my daybed.

My nana called up the stairs. “Girls, I think one of your fellas is outside.”

Nancy shot up in the bed, flinging herself off of it, and racing to my window. Jonathan was parked behind my grandma’s Chevelle, pacing beside his Mustang. Almost as if he was psyching himself up too.

I laughed softly, catching Nancy’s gaze. “Aww, he’s as nervous as you are right now.” I peeked out the window again just as he reached into his car, pulling out flowers that he had to have picked himself. When I caught him looking up at the window I stood in, I closed the curtain quickly and giggled.

“Guess who picked you flowers?” I said in a playful tone as I looked at her.

“Oh my god. No shit? He… That means this is a date and I am.. Severely under dressed.” Nancy was starting to worry. Pacing a hole through my carpet.

I shook my head, placing my hands on her upper arms again. Making her look at me. “It’s going to be okay. Relax. You look hot. Now go down there. Don’t make that poor guy suffer the Inquisition, because you know that’s what Hank’s going to put him through.” I held my bedroom door open, giving her a gentle but firm nudge when she froze in the doorway. Throwing the door shut behind her so she couldn’t chicken out and come back into my room.

After a few seconds of jamming out to Madonna, I peeked out of my door to make sure she wasn’t upstairs still, pacing the landing. She wasn’t, so I smiled to myself and shut the door again.

Flopping across my bed and grabbing for the issue of Seventeen that Nancy brought over for all of us to look through when we got back after the carnival tonight.

And almost ten minutes later, my nana was calling up the stairs for me to come down. I sprang off my daybed, pulling on my new red boots. Giving myself one last look in the mirror. Smoothing my hands over the red sundress I’d chosen to wear with the denim jacket my mom wore all the time.

“I’ll be right down.” I called out. Taking a few seconds to calm myself down, because surprisingly enough, I found myself almost as jittery as Nancy had been when Jonathan came to collect her earlier.

I made my way down the stairs just in time. Able to avert a potential crisis in the making as Hank eyed Steve. “What are you doing here, hair?”

“I’m here to pick up Jennie, sir.”

Hank eyed him and then he eyed me. “You hit your head or somethin, Jaybird?”

I bit my lip. Trying not to burst out laughing as I shook my head, I answered, “No, I didn’t. He’s taking me to the carnival tonight if that’s okay? Nana already said I could go…”

Hank eyed Steve warily. Tattooed forearms folded over his chest. Trying to look as threatening as possible. “Remember, hair… You hurt her, there’s nowhere safe for you.”

“Hank, let those two get goin! Get in here and help me eat these brownies.”

Thank God for my nana.

Steve and I hurried outside and he opened the passenger door to his BMW, letting me get in. I sank down into the seat, cringing a little, groaning because I was a little embarrassed. I knew Hank was only doing it with good intent, but still, it was just a little embarrassing sometimes.

Steve burst out laughing when he got into the car. “So that was intense, huh?”

“Just a little. I’m sorry. You know how he is.”

Steve leaned across the console, pulling me in for a kiss. Muttering softly as it broke, “I don’t blame him. I mean earlier today, Tommy just looked at you the wrong way and I wanted to punch him.”

“Yeah, no. Tommy Hagan is not my type. And he never will be.” I shook my head, pretending to be offended that Steve even put both of us in the same sentence. Steve chuckled, winking at me as he started the car and started to back out of the driveway.

“Just out of curiosity, who is your type, Jennie?”

“Ask me again at the end of the night.” I teased, glancing at him as I shrugged.

He laughed and reached out, turning the dial on the radio. We found a station to listen to and Steve reached out for my hand, lacing his fingers with mine. Raising my hand to brush his lips against my knuckles.

I squirmed in my seat a little, muttering quietly to myself as he did it. Making him chuckle again as we pulled into a parking space near Tommy’s car. I scowled as soon as I set sights on Carol and she pretended to gag when she saw me sitting in Steve’s passenger seat.

Steve grumbled and shook his head, complaining about Tommy and Carol being pains in the ass as he got out of the car. Pointedly pretending he didn’t see Tommy standing nearby or hear him call his name. Making his way around the car to open my door.

“Just ignore them. Maybe if we ignore them, princess, they’ll disappear.”

“One could only hope.” I answered, giving his hand a squeeze as I gazed up at him and smiled.

We walked right past them, but naturally, Tommy caught up to us. Staring a little too long and too hard at me. I rolled my eyes. And I found myself scrunching into Steve’s side.

“Tommy, hey man. We were just gonna go to the midway.”

“Didn’t you hear me trying to call you, Harrington?” Tommy finally tore his gaze off me to glance at Steve.

Carol was glaring daggers at me, I could feel it. I didn’t have to look over at her.

“Tommy, can we like.. Go now? I don’t want to stick around the tramp too long.”

I leaned in, hissing at her a little. Laughing when she shrank away and cringed before making a hasty retreat, practically having to drag Tommy with her when she went.

I called out casually, “It was nice to see you again too, Carol!” and turned to face Steve, finding him nearly doubled over, clutching his sides as he laughed.

“I was about to handle them for you...” he muttered as his laughter died away and he stepped closer to me, a hand lingering at my hip. I scoffed. “Them? Oh trust me. I can handle those two half-wits.”

“And I see that, Jennie. But as your date..” Steve spoke up, chuckling as he smiled at me. I swallowed hard because I wasn’t stupid. I heard him hesitate. I heard him almost refer to himself as my boyfriend. And god help me, despite my best efforts, I couldn’t stop the warm feeling that took over. Or the way my heart lazily skipped a beat or two.

I gave a soft giggle, reaching for his hand. Lacing my fingers between his as I bounced around on my feet, nodding towards the Zipper and giving him a pleading look. He eyed the ride warily but finally shrugged. “Okay, alright. But I’m telling you, it’s gonna scare you.”

“That’s why you’re here though, right?” I cozied up to him when we stopped walking for a minute.

If I sounded any flirtier… The thought came and I tried to just enjoy the moment and not get too wrapped up in my own worries and fears about letting him too close.

I needed to relax. Stop overthinking everything and just live. My mom was always telling me that before I lost her.

Steve slipped an arm around me, pulling me into his side. “You hungry or anything?”

“I’m fine right now.” I answered, gazing up at him. Raising up to brush my lips against his cheek. Making him laugh quietly. Smile at me and pull me closer as he whispered against my ear, “What was that for, hm?”

“Because I’m glad I said yes and came out with you tonight.” I shrugged as I responded. We wound up in line for the Zipper behind Nancy and Jonathan and giggling, I held a finger to my lips as I glanced over at Steve before reaching out to cover Nancy’s eyes.

She squeaked and Jonathan covered his mouth to keep from laughing about it, shaking his head at me. Mouthing a thank you when Nancy wasn’t looking. I shrugged at him and turned my attention to Nancy.

“You realize that ride is up in the air.”

“I’ll be fine.” Nancy swallowed hard.

I nodded. “Yeah, I think you’re in good hands.”

“Hey, you guys get on with us.”

“I think I’m gonna hurl. Are you sure you wanna get on that thing, Jennie?” Steve spoke up, pressing against me from behind. I glanced up over my shoulder at him and raised a brow. “Are you scared? It’s just a ride. It’ll be fine.”

Nancy eyed Steve and I, giggling as she shook her head. The line moved forward and almost as soon as Nancy and I spotted Barb, we started to yell for her. She came jogging over with a giant of a blond guy in tow.

“Logan, you know Nancy. This is my best friend Jennie. She just moved back from Louisiana. Jennie, this is Logan.” Barb was grinning from ear to ear, all doe eyed and soft giggly voice. I smiled because seeing her so happy made me happy for her. I looked up at Logan, sizing him up. “Hurt my friend, I break your knees. That’s all I’m saying.”

He chuckled, slipping his arms around Barb, leaning down to rest his chin on her shoulder. “I don’t think you have to worry about that, Jennie.”

“Hey, if you get in between Jennie and I, we can get on the ride at the same time.” Nancy spoke up.

Jonathan and Steve nodded. Steve spoke up, addressing Logan. “Didn’t you play basketball for Varsity last year? You were the senior starter, right?”

I locked eyes with Barb, wiggling my brow as I leaned in and whispered, “Ooh la la.. An older guy, huh?”

Barb blushed, teasing right back, “Mhm. Wanna explain why your lipstick is smeared and there’s just the slightest hint of red on Steve Harrington’s mouth while we’re on this topic?”

I stuck my tongue out at her, snuggling against Steve, laughing. It was our turn to get on the ride and we got into a bucket, strapping ourselves in after we’d emptied out our pockets. Steve took a deep breath. “This might not be so bad.” but then the ride took off, flipping over and he screeched “I was wrong, holy fuck I was wrong.” I grabbed hold of his hand and muttered against his ear, “Deep breaths, Steve. It’s okay. It’s just a ride. You have a harness.”

“Woman, this thing is flipping and rolling!” Steve teased, managing to plant a kiss on my forehead as he met my gaze, laughing. Leaning in to whisper against my ear, “You’re the one death gripping my hand though? Are you maybe a little afraid now that you looked down and saw how high up in the air we are?”

“Oh hush.” I pouted, burying my face in his shoulder, screaming and stomping my feet against the cage while squeezing his hand even more. “I thought it’d be okay. Mistakes were made.”

He laughed and let out several shaky breaths as the ride began to descend, finally coming to a full stop at the bottom.

We stumbled off, finding Barb and Logan and Jonathan, holding Nancy’s hair out of the way as she threw up in a garbage bin while rubbing her back.

Steve spoke up, nodding in the direction of the fun house. Grabbing hold of my hand and starting to pull me towards it, laughing. “C’mon guys!”

Barb and Logan shared a look, shrugging. Jogging to catch up. And Nancy and Jonathan finally caught up, falling in line behind us. Cozied up to each other.

I cozied up to Steve and he leaned his chin on my shoulder. “Having fun, Jennie?”

“I am.” I answered quietly, glancing back at him and flashing a soft smile.

XXX

Steve rubbed his hands together and stepped up, taking the sledgehammer. Swinging it as if it weighed nothing, even though the damn thing was so heavy he honestly thought he pulled his shoulder out of place as the sledgehammer made contact with the base of the Strongman attraction and the needle went soaring upward. The lights lit up and Steve leaned the sledgehammer against the side of the machine, pretending to curl his biceps as he turned to Jennie, laughing. Stealing the cotton candy flavored shaved ice she was sipping and taking a sip for himself as he nodded to the wall of prizes. “So, what’ll it be, huh?” he gazed at the wall of prizes too. His eyes settling on the gigantic pink unicorn and fixing on her.

“The pink unicorn.” they said it at the exact same time, bursting into laughter. The barker turned and grabbed the stuffed animal and Steve took it, holding it out to Jennie. “For you, princess.” he teased as she took it, hugging it against her. Then hugging herself against him and asking in a soft laugh, “That didn’t hurt you, did it?”

“Not even a little, babe.”

And he wasn’t stupid, either. He saw the way her pupils blacked out the rest of her eye for just the ghost of a few seconds after he called her babe. Slipping an arm around her, he pressed his mouth against her forehead and muttered quietly, “Where to next?”

Her eyes settled on a bright yellow tent. The sign outside of it proclaimed “Free readings.” and she gave him those big pleading eyes. Eyes that may or may not have gotten him in right over his head on more than one occasion when they were both kids. Eyes he couldn’t turn down.

“It’s going to be fake as hell, but okay. Alright. If you wanna go over there, we will. At least the lines not as long as the one for the Ferris Wheel is.”

“And it’s close to the field, so when the fireworks and the music start, we can go over... “ Jennie smiled, slipping her hand into his. He gave her hand a squeeze after lacing their fingers together.

“Maybe they’ll tell me I’m going to be a billionaire.” Steve teased, making her shrug. “I just wanna see if there’s any truth to whatever they tell me at all…” she trailed off and Steve eyed her, asking quietly, “And? What else?”

“I don’t know… Maybe I was hoping they’d have a message for me from my mom..” Jennie bit her lip, going quiet. Laughing at herself softly. “It’s dumb. I know it won’t be real.”

“Hey. C’mere.” Steve pulled her into a hug, squeezing her a little. As the hug broke, he nodded towards the tent, smirking. “C’mon. Let’s go see what they have to say about our future, huh?”

“Yeah. Let’s.” Jennie smiled up at him, practically dragging him towards the tent. Given that there wasn’t an actual line, they stepped into the tent. Without even looking up, the woman on the other side of the round table announced calmly, “I’ve been waiting on you two.”

Steve and Jennie shared a look, both of them raising their brows.

Jennie dug around in the pocket of her denim jacket, prepared to pay the fortune teller for the reading, but the woman shook her head, nodding towards the chairs in front of them. They sat down.

For a minute or two, it was quiet. For Steve, it was a little too quiet and he chuckled. This seemed to get the fortune teller looking up at them both from the cards spread out in front of her.

She put the cards away quickly after shaking her head and mumbling about something she’d interpreted to be worrying. “Sorry about that, I was doing a reading for a young woman who came by earlier. One of your friends, I do believe.” the fortune teller addressed Jennie.

“One of my friends?” Jennie questioned. The fortune teller nodded. And then she got down to business.

“You two always wind up together, don’t you? In every new life. You always manage to find one another.”

Steve’s brow quirked.

Jennie spoke up, laughing softly. “He’s not a believer. What’s it mean… If we’re always in each other’s lives?”

The fortune teller gave a soft laugh. Glancing at Steve for a few seconds, nodding. “I picked up on that when you two were walking over. That’s not all I picked up on…” she teased, letting her words die away.

Jennie took a deep breath. Giving Steve’s hand a squeeze beneath the table. Steve squeezed her hand back and repeated the question that Jennie had just asked. What the woman meant when she told them that they always wound up together, in every life.

“It’s not a bad thing. Well, not in the case of both of you.” the fortune teller explained, smiling at them both. “You’ve had a few not so good ones, but usually, your story has a happy ending.”

Steve let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. And then he immediately reminded himself that this was all just baloney to begin with. A way for the woman to make money.

“Over the next few years… Things around you are going to get downright peculiar.” and after saying this, she gazed at Jennie. “A woman is coming through for you, dear. She has the same hair as you. Wilder and curlier. I think she’s..” but before she could finish, Jennie spoke up, “My mom? Is her name Bonnie?”

The woman closed her eyes, focusing.

Then she nodded. “Tell Jen to stop fighting the natural order of things so hard.”

Steve eyed the woman warily. Giving Jennie’s hand a squeeze. Jennie squeezed his hand back and she seemed to relax even more.

The woman continued, glancing at Steve this time, “A lot of growth and change ahead for you. You are on the right path. Stay on it. No matter what strange things it might bring your way. Always go with your first gut instinct. On everything.”

Steve nodded, chuckling to himself. It was a pretty standard reading. Anyone could’ve given it.

But what the fortune teller told them both about always winding up together in every single version of life they’d lived thus far, that was sticking with him.

No matter how much he tried to tell himself this was pointless and she was doing this as a gimmick to make some cash on the side.

“As far as the immediate future. Stick together. Stick close to your friends, because there are some things up ahead and you’re going to need each other.”

The fortune teller dismissed them and as soon as they were out of the tent, Steve cleared his throat. “That was, uh.. Something.”

“It was.” Jennie was gazing up at him thoughtfully. Almost like she had something on her mind. Just as she was about to say whatever it was, Tommy spoke up from the funnel cake stand across the way.

“Hey man! C’mon. Sit with us.” Tommy called out.

Carol was quick to add, “ Kind of feels like we’re being ditched, Harrington.”

Steve grumbled in frustration and glanced down at Jennie. “It’s up to you.”

“If you want to go over, we can. But I make no promises that Carol won’t be wearing my shaved ice before it’s all said and done.”

“And that goes double for Tommy.” Steve muttered, chuckling quietly. Mulling it over.

“Ah, let’s just ignore ‘em. I don’t feel like dealing with his crap.” he spoke up a second or two later.

“Thank God.” Jennie laughed softly. Steve laughed too, shrugging. Practically dragging her as fast as humanly possible right past the table Carol and Tommy were saving for them to sit at and grab a quick bite.

“I know he’s not ditching us.” Carol mused out loud, annoyed. Tommy chuckled, teasing when he called out, “It’s okay man.. I know you’re whipped right now. I’d be whipped too.”

“Seriously? I’m sitting right here. Right beside you, Tommy.”

“I know, babe. I was just sayin, it’s nice Harrington found someone willing to put up with him.”

Carol’s eyes followed the two and she rolled her eyes, grimacing as she mumbled mostly to herself, “He could’ve done so much better than… her.”

Tommy turned to look at her. “Do you have to be such a bitch?”

“Do you have to be such a manwhore?” Carol asked in response, pouting when he mimicked her instead of apologizing.

XXX

The fireworks were starting. Steve and I hurried over. Tommy and Carol were calling his name, but we spotted Nancy, Barb, Jonathan and Logan around the same time. Steve nodded towards my friends and squeezed my hands. “I really don’t feel like hearing Carol’s mouth tonight.”

“And I really don’t feel like catching Tommy attempting to fuck me with his eyes every few seconds, ew.” I responded, asking a second later, “You’re sure you’re okay with sitting with Barb and Nancy, right?”

“Yeah! It’s actually been a lot more fun tonight?” Steve dragged his fingers through his hair as he gazed down at me. I smiled, nodding because I agreed.

Tommy and Carol were still yelling his name. Steve picked me up over his shoulder, making me laugh and a few seconds later, we were settled in between Barb and Nancy, right as the first big burst of color lit the night sky. Steve moved to sit behind me, letting me sit between his legs and lean back on him as he wrapped his arms around me.

All in all, I have to say… Maybe that fortune teller was making everything up. But maybe there was some logic to her words too. Because if I hadn’t just gotten tired of fighting off the pull I felt to Steve all summer long, I never would have agreed to come out on a date with him tonight.

And that would’ve been a serious bummer.

[sunshine-in-a-bottle]

I'm watching Beast Wars again for no reason and so you all have to hear me talk about it.

If I was personally given Rights I would first use them to erase Cheetors weird crush on Blackarachnia because it literally adds nothing to the plot or the characters. Instead I'd take full advantage of my personal headcanon and make Cheetor desperately want a big sister because I am always a slut for Found Family. Like, that scene with Una ?"Aw, she wants to be you!" Like c'mon viewing him reaching out to Blackarachnia because he desperately wants some semblance of a relationship is a lot more wholesome when it isn't romantically coded. Cheetor is Lonely, so horribly lonely, and so young seeming in comparison to the rest of the cast. He hasn't lost that love for the stars or spiraled into cynicism just yet, and I would much rather explore the ways he tries to reach out to his bitter, jaded teammates. And maybe he's left wanting, maybe he gets tired of being lonely, and maybe he fucks up trying to be like them because "he tried to prove himself." And maybe that scene where Optimus, Silverbolt, and Rattrap reach out to him has a little more weight because it isn’t just Cheetor trying to be an adult, but a Cheetor that tried to be them and post Feral Cheetor has real fucking consequences and isn't just a cool upgrade.

I want that episode where Rattrap finds out they spat on Dinobot’s memory by making him into a "dishonorable" clone and goes ballistic. I want him to find the memories Dinobot stowed away and be conflicted. Is it Dinobot without the spark? Could he live with only a shade? Would Dinobot even want that? I want him to try and fail and be utterly distraught over the whole damn thing. I want him to be angry every time he sees Dinobot 2. I want Rhinox to try and fail to comfort him. I want Cheetor to sit with him, neither speaking but both knowing they're in this fucked up mess together now. CONSEQUENCES. WHERE ARE THEY. GIVE THEM TO ME.

I also just really want Blackarachnia to have closer bonds with the team??? Idk, I'm vibin well enough with her and Silverbolt but tbh I'd really just like her to have an episode where she's hanging out with someone else and Isn’t A Complete Rude Person. I think that's something I actually really vibed with in Beast Machines (although my memory there is still pretty fuzzy, I'll probably have to rewatch that to say for sure) Blackarachnia could actually work with the team in a friendly and occasionally sweet way. She was capable of a blunt and angry sort of kindness. Should that happen right away? Nah of course not, she needs to get comfy with her shiny new Dumbfuck Teammates. But there’s no real Solid Connections there other than Silverbolt, which is purely romantic. (Once again I emphasize Cheetor and Found Family)

Rhinox just needs more in general. If I had to guess the reason he was made a villain in beast machines was because he is only Meh as a Developed character after Blackarachnia shows up and takes over tech wise, not to mention rattrap is also pretty damn techy when he wants to be.(it was also probably to increase tension since his whole deal is being diplomatic but that's a separate thing) Sort of an issue when you make them scientists but don't have them specialize in anything and, more importantly, have a weakness in anything. If your character is simply the backup scientist when the other one is out of commission u gotta problem. Rhinox is stagnant personality wise, I can’t honestly say anything about him changes in the whole series. He has functionally gained nothing from this perilous journey, no real trauma, no bonds he didn't already have with the team, not even an upgrade in form. Isn’t rattrap supposed to be his best friend???? SHOW ME MORE THEN. Seriously if this show had let me have Rights I’m not saying I wouldn’t have loved if we had actually Really Dug In to a character arc or something about Rattrap and the concept of Honor vs Loyalty but that’s exactly what I’m saying lets talk about that. Season One Rattrap they played with this a little (After the whole early on “I would not send someone to do something I would not do myself” and “double agent rattrap” WHICH NO ONE WOULD EVER BELIEVE IF THAT HAPPENED ANY LATER THAN IT DID SINCE RATTRAP IS SO ANTIPRED) and the whole Dinobot thing really wedged it in (”But at least you know where he stands”) AND THEN FROM MY SHODDY MEMORIES OF BEAST MACHINES ITS PLAYED WITH EVEN MORE WHEN HE FUCKING GOES TO MEGATRON BECAUSE EVERYONE WAS BEING A LITTLE BITCH TO HIM 

Where was I going with this? uhhhhhhhhhhhhh oh yeah LISTEN Rattrap and his morals are Very Fascinating and I really wished there was more about that. Like, he gives no shits about Doing What’s Right or Being A Good Person, but he rewards friendship and loyalty and not getting him killed by miles. And despite his Hatefest Dinobot he was actually really... shocked? Offended??? about Dinobot handing over the disc because you’re an asshole but you’re also our asshole what fuckery is this did all our arguments mean nothing to you. And then attempting to join Megatron in BM because he might be Evil and it might be Bad Moral Conduct but fuck morals his teammates were being shitty friends. Is that petty of him? Maybe, but if the maximals had been evil but still genuinely kind and caring towards Rattrap I don’t believe he would ever leave for a second, not for all the Morals or Its The Right Thing To Do in the world. And that’s why darkfics that still use Found Family are the best! The End.

All the characters would actually be the size of their animals because goddamit I want a tiny Rattrap that has to be carried around by the others while he screeches indignantly. Or at the very least make him just a little smaller. Just a bit. And maybe they all have a big Sleep Pile. I like physical affection and cuddling and things no I don't care if they're robots no I don’t take criticism. Dinobot would have feathers fight me.

Optimus has died, been tortured, and painfully grew to like 3 times his size why doesn’t he have ptsd someone give him a hug.

Could we have waited for Airrazor and Tigatron to get kidnapped???? We should have gotten more for them. Let me see them more often. LISTEN THEY’RE VERY CUTE I LOVE THEM SHUT UP. 

WHICH LMAO BRINGS ME RIGHT BACK TO CHEETOR BECAUSE HE CONSIDERED AIRRAZOR AND TIGATRON HIS BROTHER AND SISTER AND HE THINKS THEYRE GONE FOREVER AND THEN ITS NEVER REALLY BROUGHT UP AGAIN LIKE CHEETOR AND FOUND FAMILY REALLY SHOULD BE EXPLORED HERE

Silverbolt is fun, but suffers from the same problem as Blackarachnia where all you really remember about them Relationship wise is the one they have with each other. Who does Silverbolt like best among the maximals, who does he like the least? And if I'm erasing that weird Cheetor crush thing then their interactions probably have a lot less tension so... what else do they have.

Depth Charge is an unrepentant asshole and I love him. He is so hostile but it doesn’t stop him from begrudgingly helping out on occasion. He also gave Optimus some backstory??? Like not as much as my greedy Character Loving hands would have wanted but GIVE ME.

Other Stuff:

Nothing will ever be as funny as Optimus being like “Evacuate the base you’re all gonna die” and Rhinox grabbing his fucking plant

Blackarachnia Craves Power 

Cheetor suffer from Bad Bondage multiple times throughout the series, but specifically during the web I remember Tarantulas leaning over him and thinking “wow this is kind of... date gone wrong vibes??? What the fuck”

Rattrap and Dinobot: *Spot each other from any distance* Miracle Hatemance has entered the chat

Why is Megatron wearing roller skates. Who did this. Why.

“Spider/Bird dog is hetero nonsense” - everyone who has to bear witness to them ever, including me the viewer

Tarantulas is completely done with any attempts to seduce him. Ever.

Airrazor tries so hard to be cool and hip oh my god she is a complete dork i love her

“FOR THE ROYALTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY”

please be nice to Waspinator he’s trying his best

Rhinox: exists

Me: hello yes sir I love u wise mentor sir

Holy shit Dinobot’s death scene is a gut punch. Rattrap honestly is what makes this scene perfect. I have never seen him so respectful or emotional is a way that wasn’t meant for comedic relief.

That scene, man

Tigatron’s speech about bringing beast mode and robot mode together is like foreshadowing to beast machines. Or it isn’t. Idk. Would have been really nice if they, yknow,

bothered to bring up literally anything from the previous series to beast machines

 (yes its been awhile since I’ve seen Beast Machines, but I do remember that being my primary complaint.)

This series is so cheesy but Thundercats is still cheesier so its fine

Rattrap was canonically a miner at some point apparently.

He’s also super prejudiced and honestly that’s interesting. HONESTLY SOMETHING I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO SEE DISCUSSED IN BEAST MACHINES IS THE SUPER MEGA DIVIDE IN PREDS AND MAXIMALS BUT I GUESS WE WEREN’T GETTING THAT OH WELL

The ‘Everyone is blind’ episode was always one of my favorites and it never gets old

Upon rewatching the series I have concluded Cheetor is Babey. Which is weird because I didn’t think much of him from what I remember. Shift in perspective I suppose. They really made Rhinox farting the thing that saves the day, huh. What even was season one.

BITCH THAT IS A TERRIBLE WAY TO TRANSPORT MEGATRON NO WONDER HE FUCKING CONQUERED CYBERTRON Y’ALL DESERVED THIS HONESTLY

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh in conclusion:

Rattrap is my new religion apparently

[moviegroovies]

so i know i’m breaking like, this unspoken vow of silence re: the movie by making this post but this IS a movie blog and i did watch the last airbender. and can i just say. holy fucking shit.

y’all know i like a lot of bad movies. knowing that, take me seriously when i say: this is a BAD movie. and not in a good way. i went into it with no expectations except morbid curiosity and i was STILL let down. i wanted to hate watch it, and yeah, i hated watching it, but it wasn’t even fun to hate. i just hated it. 

don’t watch the last airbender.

if you’re like me and you just wanted to know exactly how bad it was, please benefit from my mistakes. read my fun funky rant and then never think of that movie again. put it out of your mind. rewatch boiling rock. love yourself.

anyway.

pretty much the one and only thing i knew about why it was bad going in was that it was whitewashed; that’s like the only thing anyone ever mentions in conjecture with this movie, when they mention it at all. knowing this, going in knowing full well that the casting department did crimes against humanity, i was still shocked and disturbed at the sight of white katara and white sokka. literally... that casting choice was a hate crime. look them up (or check out my last post) if you need to see it for yourself... it’s bad y’all. somehow i had braced myself for white aang, but before i saw it with my own two eyes i couldn’t believe that they would actually whitewash katara and sokka, And Yet. the really stupid thing is that it’s not even “””justified””” IN UNIVERSE; most of the members of the southern water tribe are played by asian actors, meaning that they didn’t even pull a pan and make the WHOLE southern water tribe white, they just made sokka and katara mysteriously “special” in a spectacularly poor judgement call.

actually, that’s another thing. outside the northern water tribe (which is also mostly white... i’m wondering if sokka and katara are white because gran gran--a white woman in the movie--is from the north? anyway it’s a moot point either way because none of them should be white, there are NO WHITE CHARACTERS IN THE SHOW AVATAR, jesus FUCKING christ), most of the extras and background characters are played by actors of color, particularly asian actors, which would be accurate to the show’s canon. maybe m night shyamalan or someone else involved in the making of this shitshow of a movie thought that this would somehow absolve the whitewashing of the main characters, but in reality i’d argue that it makes it even worse; by having characters mostly played by people of color continuously being saved by three little white bitches, the movie goes HARD on the white savior trope, and also just generally uses these actual, living people as exploitative, orientalist set dressing for this 1 hour and 43 minutes of special hell.

with one notable exception: prince zuko is played by an actor of color--specifially, dev patel. (who is himself miscast, considering how zuko and the fire nation are japanese-coded, but the second they opened on that veruca salt looking ass bitch calling herself katara any hope that the makers of this movie gave any consideration to the racial coding avatar introduced went right out the window.) which adds Another layer of racism to this already inconceivably bad fuckup of a movie; how strange, that the movie’s racebending made all three heroes white, but the primary antagonist (as well as the secondary antagonist, zhao, and the mostly-off-screen-but-still-present ozai) is a man of color. what an odd coincidence. hmmmm.

i hate this movie. i do want to note, though, that dev patel’s inclusion was the only thing that actually got me through the whole thing; i have no idea why he was in this film (he’s FAR too talented for the content he was given and no one else in the entire cast went even one sixteenth as hard as he did) but he was its one saving grace. still, though, even he couldn’t save it. he was so cute and he did his damn best with probably the worst script in the history of film... but he was still in THIS film. since the release of this movie, patel has spoken out against his role in it and the world of hollywood blockbusters in general, and to that i say... good for him. 

i was going for zuko though. this time it was like YES baby CAPTURE that avatar. full stop.

so yes, it was horribly miscast, whitewashed to hell and back, and went with a racist white hero/villains of color cast as a backdrop. all of these things, in themselves, are enough to completely condemn the movie, and my work here might as well be done... except to end it there would be to leave one million other glaring flaws unexamined. and i refuse to let any rock be unturned.

because, like, it’s NOT just bad because of the whitewashing. the whitewashing and the other racist elements are huge PARTS of why this is a bad movie, but even if this movie was made with an accurate and un-whitewashed cast, it would STILL be a bad movie, and i need you all to know this. 

starting from the top: they ruined katara and sokka. 

well, they ruined them the second they cast them the way they did. but again, let’s say they cast someone else. let’s say they cast appropriate actors for the rolls, but the level of acting skill and the script they used was the same. even in this case, they would have RUINED katara and sokka. none of the characters in this movie are 100% recognizable (and i’ll keep repeating it: the casting DID NOT HELP), but katara and sokka got hit the hardest and the worst. the things that sokka should have brought to the table (his goofy attitude, his intelligence) were erased, and the “sokka” we were given instead was a jerkass buzzkill who might have occasionally been the butt of a joke, but was never actually intended to be funny in his own right. reflecting on the series, it’s kind of as if we got his characterization from the first episode (before sokka got any development and was, i guess, kind of a jerkass buzzkill) and never strayed from that, which would be bad enough, but i think even episode ONE sokka was more fun and dynamic than White Sokka™. mistakes were made.

but it was even WORSE for katara. katara’s righteous anger was all but erased. SOKKA was the one who broke the avatar out of the ice, and only because they accidentally happened upon him--katara didn’t get to be angry at sokka’s jerkass sexism and unconsciously fuck up an entire iceberg. katara NEVER got to be angry. in fact, most of katara’s moments were taken and distributed between aang and sokka; aang, for instance is the one who inspires the earthbenders to break out of prison. we don’t even see katara train with master pakku, and SHE was the one who actually became a waterbending master when they went to the north pole. in this movie, katara mostly existed to talk about ~hope~ (very ember island players, lmfao) and hug aang when he went into the avatar state. 

by the way, that prison? it’s not the metal platform in the middle of the ocean we got in the show. it’s just... an enclosed village. surrounded by dirt and earth. and the earthbenders never tried to break out until aang came along and told them to? hmmmm.... 

Unfortunate Implications™, but what did you expect. 

other than that, idk. the writing was so fucking bad, y’all. a significant chunk of the plot relies on the “as you know” trope, in which characters have an expository discussion about something everyone present should already be aware of and wouldn’t need to get into. this normally wouldn’t bother me THAT much, if i noticed it at all (exposition is essential, after all, and you only have so much time in a movie, so i guess it makes sense when you’re trying to compress an entire season of a show into one), except like... it’s ridiculous. i couldn’t ignore it, they just hit the hammer so hard. “as you know, this is what the avatar is. as you know, zuko was exiled after fighting an agni kai with his father. as you know...” 

bleh.

after that, i guess all my complaints are a little more pedantic. some smaller things that made the movie unwatchable: the bending motions were super weird and i think sped up? there were perfectly good martial arts moves right there waiting for them, and shyamalan fucked even THAT up in an effort to... what? make it look more “mystical?” bitch i’ll kill you. also, for reasons completely unfathomable to me, some of the names were pronounced oddly despite being said one million times in the show. “aah-ng” “ee-roh” “soh-ka” “ahvatar.” literally... why.

i’ve been thinking “soh-ka” in my head for like two weeks. hideous.

and one last thing, which really DOESN’T matter in comparison to what they did to the human characters, but like... what fucking happened to appa?? why did they do that to him?

don’t watch the last airbender.

[some-creep]

SERIOUS and OFFICIAL RE3 Creep Review

Resident Evil 3 Remake is a good and fun game that I have already dedicated more energy into than all of RE2 Remake.

However. We can’t leave it at that so here’s a stupid long post.

First off: This will not include any mention of the freebie multiplayer game bundled in, RE: Resistance, a game that I unfortunately like but also realize it adds absolutely nothing to the purchase of this game itself.

Second: I have no goddamn idea what other people are saying about this game because I haven’t even clicked on the steam store page to see the general review scores. I don’t have twitter, and I refuse to watch reviews. All I know is vague youtube titles I’ve seen in my feed. That’s it.

Third of all: Everything I’ve ever written on here is disjointed and confusing so buckle the fuck up.

Oh. And spoilers.

To start this story we must go back to everyone’s favorite year, 2003, when RE3 released on the Gamecube and I was in third grade. Watching my cousin play it when he stayed over was my first actual experience with the series. And Nemesis was, like, really fucking scary at the time because I was a child. I bring this up because as you all might know, I’m a bit of an obsessed weirdo sometimes. This is where it started for me, so RE3 is kind of a big deal for me personally. Conceptually, this game means kind of a lot to me I guess.

As a “remake”, RE3 does, like, a terrible fucking job at being one of those. This is flat out, just, not a remake. At all. It’s a re-imagining. It would be easier to count the things they included from the original over the things they cut, that’s how different it is. OG RE3 had like. Three environments. And the remake just straight up cuts one of them and slaps a different character in the other. Alright I guess. We don’t see Brad get killed by Nemesis, because that just… doesn’t happen anymore. Jill doesn’t go to the police station… at all even. There’s no missile countdown during the final boss fight which was my favorite part because it was like. I know it was just a glorified timer but it was much scarier to me than the self destruct timer? Idk for some reason the concept of a missile destroying the whole ass city is an idea that genuinely just kind of freaks me out to this day.

This will sounds very hyperbolic but the ending was kind of garbage. Mr. Paul I love my Wife Anderson did a shot for shot recreation of the original ending and I guess I was just expecting something like that instead we got. Not. That. I don’t know if these complaints are valid but they are things I’ve been thinking about a lot. Half that scene straight up just takes place in a map that is just an empty white void. If that after the credits scene wasn’t a possible hint at a Code Veronica remake I will riot. CV is my other favorite game (conceptually. CV itself is a completely fucking unplayable nightmare game).

There’s no helicopter fight. There’s no gravedigger. There’s no giant spiders. There’s one bonus costume. Hell, there frankly isn’t even a lot of Raccoon City at all.

I guess it is short. My first play through was 4ish hours of logged gameplay and 6ish hours of total playtime with cutscenes and nemesis chases which apparently pause the timer since they’re basically QTEs? This doesn’t really bother me like it does other people. I don’t have a lot of free time anymore. Everyone fucking hates that this game is short from what I’ve seen? Idk. (It’s no shorter than RE2. RE2 just seems longer since you can be Leon or Claire but their stories are basically identical. B scenario in RE2 Remake was a fucking joke.)

Buuut… I really, really like this game.  Carlos is fine. He’s in this game. I still don’t like him that much but he’s the best of the male sidekicks. Maybe I like him more than Leon. He isn’t offensive or anything I just don’t stan him as hard as everyone on here seems to. Mikhail is way, way better now. Love how he knows who Jill is. Nikolai has… good facial mocap I guess. He’s certainly in the game and is evil and Russian again so no change there. Tyrel is a character who does things and is in scenes. He seems nice. He’s doing his best. And then there’s Jill. Who got the best treatment of anything in this entire game. Not like, physically of course, her ribs are absolutely destroyed and her spine has been snapped several times after all of that shit they put her through in the cutscenes.

I loved, loved, loved the opening. So much. Jill’s apartment. Her nightmares. The fact her life is in shambles. I’ve gushed about this before but I genuinely loved how the game opened. It’s everything I could have asked for and so much more. It’s an idea I’ve toyed w/ before in one of the only finished stories I’ve ever put on AO3 and I’m so glad to see it acknowledged canonically. I just. Ugh. I loved it.

Everything she says is beautiful and perfect and sassy and sometimes angry and it’s just. Good. They let Jill say fuck and she became unstoppable. Also she at least still says the You want S.T.A.R.S. line. It’s way, way, way early, in a scene that makes no sense for it to be in at all. But she says it. And I liked that she said it. I’m easy.

That stupid railgun bullshit at the end?? I was streaming it live and just exclaimed “is this game even real???” because I was just so all about it. We’re all still giggling at “Bitch can’t even swim.”

It’s fun to play as Jill and do sick dodge rolls. I’ve gone through this game four times now, once on each base difficulty and again on Assisted with just the hot-dogger fire knife w/o healing. Sick dodge rolls make the game very easy if you don’t fuck them up. I always fuck them up. But, still. I feel like all the bits are there from RE2 but just better. I intend to go through the game on the other two difficulties. Wish me luck. I am frankly terrified. But I want to do it.

Two of the nemesis fights are just straight up identical though. Which is. Okay. Sure. Whatever.

This game only had two puzzles for reasons I do not understand. The subway puzzle was the hardest of the two. It is the first puzzle in the game. Arguably, it is the only puzzle in the game because it is the only one you have to think about for more than 11 seconds to solve.

When the credits play the new version of Free from Fear I genuinely forget every weird problem I have with this game because it’s just… so good. Once again. I am easy.

This whole thing probably sounds like more complaints than praise for a game I’ve put this much time into, and maybe it is, but it is easier to talk about about something bad about a game than to pinpoint what you liked. And I love to complain as we all know. This is horrible as a remake. It’s great as a follow up to RE2 Remake probably. I think plenty of people already disagree with that. But plenty of people like to just be wrong on the internet.

Speaking of RE2 remake why did Pale Heads return from.. the ghost survivors dlc of all the fucking things. That’s just weird. They were a weird inclusion. Maybe I’m not totally surprised something like that made it over but it’s still… weird. They’re fine as an enemy type. I just ignored them though.

I think that for me it is just enough to have good and fun characters that I enjoy. I just. Like how Jill is written. And honestly, that’s kinda just all I need. It doesn’t really matter to me that this game is something of a horrible amalgamation of vaguely borrowed concepts from the original game. Sure, the RE1 remake is great because it’s mostly completely faithful, but that doesn’t mean it’s the only way to do it. Re-imaginings like this can also be good. This one is good. It’s fun.

There are a strange amount of tentacles in this game to the point where I wonder if someone on the dev team just straight up had a fetish. Especially after you get the lockpick. That scene is. Um. Yeah. It’s in the game.

Is that really how I’m going to end this? Talking about the tentacle fetish?

Yeah.

[isthatbloodonhisshirt]

New Year’s Wrap Up!

Thank you @corancoranthemagicalman​ for tagging me in this! I honestly don’t ever think about these things ahaha |D So this is kinda cool tbh. Thank you :3 

Does my current WIP technically count in this case? I’ll pretend it does, I mean, I WROTE it in 2019, just didn’t post it until December 30th |D lol So technically, it counts, it’s only a WIP on Ao3, not on my computer :P 

Fics that you wrote in 2019

Up Down Lock Unlock (Sterek, 42k, G)

Through the Window (Sterek, 6.8k, G)

Business Skype (Sterek, 6k, G)

It Was a Wednesday (Sterek, 80k, M)

Be Still My Heart (You’re Beating Too Loud and my Neighbour’s a Bitch) (Sterek, 34k, T+)

What Fresh Twilight Bullshit is This? (Sterek, 196k, E)

Everyone Needs a Little Mischief in their Life (Sterek, 18k, T+)

There’s no Escape for the Potato Man (Sterek, 54k, T+)

SuperWing, Stucky and SlaDick, Oh My! (Sterek, 34.8k, T+)

Quack (Stiles Stop Calling It That) (Sterek, 16k, T+)

Because Family is More than Just Blood (Sterek, 5K, G)

I mean, again, TECHNICALLY Actions Speak Louder Than Words also counts because I wrote it in 2019 and am just posting most of it in 2020... So... (Sterek, 384k, E)

We are going to assume all questions are answered with the inclusion of Actions.

Total Fics: I wrote 12 fics this year. Enough to be considered one a month, except definitely not one a month since Twilight took me two months and Actions took me a fucking ETERNITY, like, I think I started in July? Maybe August, but still, took me FOREVER!  

Total Words: 877,632. Less than last year :( I broke a million words last year. Maybe I can break 2 Million in 2020! (LOL Yeah no...) 

Ship/Character Breakdowns: LOL Sterek. That’s... that’s it... 

Best/Worst Title:  Best Title (IMO): What Fresh Twilight Bullshit is This? (Idk man, I laugh every time I think about it, so I like it) Runner up Best Title: It Was a Wednesday Worst Title: Up Down Lock Unlock. (I legit had no idea what to call that fic, so, you know |D)

Best/Worst First Line:  Best First Line: From “Everyone Needs a Little Mischief in Their Life” 

To be fair, he hadn’t exactly meant to throw him into a tree.

Worst First Line: From “Quack (Stiles Stop Calling It That)”

“Stiles.” A loud grunt escaped said individual at the harsh smack to his posterior. “Up. Get up.”

General Questions

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted?

I feel like kind of less than I thought. I had plans for two others but then Actions took over and I know myself well enough to know if I didn’t finish it first, I never would. So I’m gonna take a short break to catch up on like, life >.> And then start back up again starting with a long overdue birthday present. Hopefully I can write more in 2020 \o/

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

HAHAHA Uh, I only wrote Sterek and I knew I would only write Sterek so I guess I knew all along? Man, I write too much Sterek... 

What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.

Probably It Was a Wednesday. I mean, it was super SAD, and I was AWFUL to poor Stiles, but idk, I don’t write Derek’s POV very much, and I kind of liked having Derek be the one to save someone else for once. And I liked that he was the only one who could truly understand what Stiles had gone through compared to everyone else. It was also nice being able to write a fic where it showcases the pack can’t survive without Stiles because once he disappeared, the pack fell apart, and my honest opinion is that that is 100% what would happen. Without Stiles, the pack can’t function and begins to fracture, so it was fun writing them coming back together around him when he returned. 

Okay, NOW your most popular story.

From 2019, What Fresh Twilight Bullshit is This? To be fair, it’s like, 116k words longer than my next longest fic of 2019 so I feel like that’s an unfair comparison lol.

Story most underappreciated by the universe?

I say It Was a Wednesday -slams hands on desk- But I’m biased because it’s my fav from 2019 >.> But it’s number 5 kudos-wise for 2019! I think it’s the angst. The first four are all more fluffy (Except Twilight, but it has an equal amount of fluff and angst). I guess my real self is coming out. SURPRISE! I am an Angst Queen >.>

Story that could have been better?

Be Still My Heart (My Neighbour’s a Bitch and You’re Beating Too Loud). Honestly, not super happy with that fic, but I wrote it for personal reasons. To copy/paste so as not to repeat myself: 

(As of October 2019) So basically, Stiles is currently me. I have had a neighbour complaining about me for literally 31 months (which, for people bad at math like me, is OVER two years) and they are literally ruining my life. I have massive anxiety every time I do anything, INCLUDING SLEEP, and I basically cannot live my life in any capacity. The building manager is really nice to me, but the property manager is pretty much useless and the complaints continue to come during times where I am literally passed out in bed. In light of that, I wrote this fic because by God, I needed some fucking happy in my life over a situation I have no control over. Is Derek in the wrong? I mean, yeah, I never say he's not. Did Stiles suffer? Of course he did. But you know what? He got a happy ending, because turns out his anxiety was due to a poor decision on Derek's part, and he felt terrible about it. I don't get a happy ending, I get constant anxiety and apologetic texts from the building manager because it's his job to tell me he knows I'm sleeping but lady is still complaining. So given I wrote this to make myself feel better, and I decided to share it with you, do me a favour and instead of making me feel worse by telling me how horrible I am and how shitty Derek is, just hit the red X in the corner instead and you can avoid having to look at this fic again. People write things for various reasons, it'd be real great if there was a bit more understanding and a bit less attacks in the world. You don't know why someone wrote something or what's going on with the person on the other end of the computer screen. So just click the X if you hated this fic and thought Derek was a dick to Stiles. I know he was, but Stiles at least gets to live his life anxiety-free because the building manager was in love with him. I get to go cry in the shower every night.

Sexiest story?

What Fresh Twilight Bullshit Is This? It’s the only one with smut, I’m pretty sure, so it’s really the only one that counts |D

Saddest story?

It Was a Wednesday, hands down. I was really mean to Stiles in it.

Most fun?

Oh man, uhhhh... Oh maaaaaaaaan.... I thought it would be between two of them, but it’s between FOUR... Business Skype, There’s No Escape For the Potato Man, Quack (Stiles Stop Calling It That) and SuperWing, Stucky and SlaDick, Oh My! 

Hmmmmmmmmmm..... hmhmhmhmhmhmhm....

UGH! This is hard. Okay, I’ma go with Potato Man. I got the idea randomly and it was ridiculous but still fun, so I’m gonna stick to that. It was my first instinct, going with it. 

Story with the single sweetest moment?

Actions Speak Louder Than Words, but I can’t quote the part because it hasn’t been posted yet |D 

So runner up is It Was a Wednesday:

“Need is a very specific thing. Your dad needs you, because he doesn’t know how to function without you. He needs you to be there to watch what he eats, and he needs you to stay close to him so he knows he hasn’t lost everyone he cares about. He needs you like a dying man needs one more breath. He’s desperate for it.

“Scott needs you, too. He needs you to keep him out of trouble. He needs you to challenge him, to keep him in line, to keep the Pack together. He needs you to be the voice of reason, to make the plans, to know when to fight and when to turn tail and run. Scott needs you like an Alpha needs a second, because he doesn’t know how to do this without you. He doesn’t know how to exist without you in his orbit, because you’ve never not been in his orbit before.

“But me? I don’t need you. At all. Because I survived before you, and I survived after you. I can manage without you in my life, but the difference is I won’t. Because I want you. I want you to be in my life. I want you in my space, arguing with me, annoying me, being infuriatingly right all the time. I want you to be a part of my future, whether it’s as a coworker at the garage, as a Packmate to this broken Pack that I don’t even know can be salvaged, as a friend, as a brother, I don’t care. All I know is that want and need are two different things, and just because I don’t need you doesn’t mean I don’t want you.”

Hardest story to write?

Actions Speak Louder Than Words, hands down. I love dialogue. Like, loooooooooooove dialogue, which is why writing fics with tons of texting make me supremely happy. And I decided, hey, what if I wrote a fic where one of the two main characters is cursed and can’t speak? What if I did that? And then what if I made it ALMOST 400k? WHAT IF I VERY SMARTLY DID THAT LIKE A VERY SMART PERSON? 

I’m lucky I’m still sane, tbh. 

Easiest/most fun story to write?

Okay, Business Skype can go here then. Because it was definitely the easiest, and also really fun :) 

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

I mean, kind of It Was a Wednesday, I guess. Like I said above, it made me think about how the pack can’t function without Stiles, personally. So I’d say probably that one for that reason. 

Most overdue story?

Actions Speak Louder Than Words. That thing was an asshole to me :( 

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? I don’t think so? Unless writing really excessively long fics this year counts? Because I did two of those... And clearly, I learned nothing from that suffering.

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

To not take five months to write one fic... That’d be good |D Kinda wanna do another challenge, but don’t know what. I’ll think on it. If anyone has any challenge ideas, let me know :) 

[broonsbraid]

analysis of the uswnt fashion choices simply because i want to fight me woso tumblr

Tierna Davidson: y’all know she’s my fave. my absolute number one. but im pretty disappointed by her dress choice. i love the color, other than that it’s so boring and plain. i think the one shoulder exemplifies that. it just reminds me of a prom dress. to be fair while she doesn’t dress horrible tierna isn’t miss fashion and this is exactly something she would wear. im sorry i have high expectations for my fave okay. sue me. 7/10 (ok i changed it to 7 bc it looks a lot better in the pic she took with becky abby and sam) (to be fair it looks so much more boring farther away since you can’t see the details on it)

becky sauerbrunn: when i first saw becky i first thought “UGH QUEEN” because that’s always my first reaction with Becky? but after a little bit i have to admit i’m not feeling it. i think it could have been better, i don’t know how because i’m not a fashion designer. i like the pattern, that’s unique, and the color is pretty good. just something about it irks me. i do appreciate it being more unique. 7/10

lindsey horan: full disclosure, simple sheek stuff appeals to me. so im loving lindsey’s look okay!! only complaint is the cut is a little awkward on her body type i think. maybe would have been better if it was just straight across (idk fashion terms) 8.7/10

allie long: i don’t know what to feel. i don’t hate it, but i don’t particularly like it either? kind of my feelings for long in general so makes sense. for some reason it makes me think of pajamas? her wedding dress was 👌🏻 so i know she can do better. 5/10

kelley o’hara: an enigma. how does she do it. her outfit isn’t out of this world, but it really just works for her? the pants are a little weird but with how trashed kelley has been the past couple days i can forgive her as she was probably still drunk while picking them. like last time she seriously had a yellow floral dress on and the fact i still remember it means it had a good impression. good job kelley 8/10

tobin heath: oh tobin. i fucking hate suit shorts. they are so ugly. but you make it work. don’t get me wrong it still is appalling but you work it. the fact you are wearing those shoes make it even better, another crazy thing. it’s probably because your other crazy outfit choices just neutralize this one. 6.5/10

alex morgan: oh alex. you can do so much better. it isn’t horrible but it looks like something a 15 year old would wear to their winter formal. we know what you can do, please do it 5/10

emily sonnett: i like it! the top is a little weird but manageable. reminds me of toilet paper. also the part where the white and black meet looks weird. ok so maybe i don’t like it as much as i did starting this. 5.5/10

crystal dunn: i LOVE the bottom of the dress but the top is so unflattering. reminds me of workout clothes or something. would look better if the dress started to flow out higher on the waistline 6/10

megan rapinoe: i trusted this bitch. when she was shown on tv, i could only see the top half of her outfit and i was impressed. a simple black suit jacket and bad ass jewelry. looked like a rocker chic. when i saw her full outfit i died of mortification. would have looked better if the leather shorts were pants. and if she didn’t have those fucking white socks. oh pinoe. my eyes are bleeding. -2/10

carli lloyd: she’s fine i guess. another disappointment because when i first saw her i was like damn!!!! but the fact that it’s a shorter dress with a particular cut that makes her look like she’s attending a funeral makes this look underwhelming. well maybe she’s wearing it because she’s mourning her international career idk 6.5/10

christen press: omg i died seeing her. LOVE the yellow!!! LOVE the black heels!! D. E. A. D. only complaint is i think if the pants weren’t as wide it would have looked a lil better. but that’s me nitpicking 9.5/10

ashlyn harris: oh ashlyn. i like parts of your outfit, and hate other parts. i do like the mesh, not the gray armour shit though. 3/10

rose lavelle: damn girl!!! the white looks really good on her, and i loveeee the off the shoulders look, v elegant. wish it was a longer dress because it would have looked even better. 8/10

mal pugh: at first i barfed, but now im like “okay fine” it just looks like she got fabric from joanne fabric and wrapped it around herself. i have to admit she looked better in that pic with rose. still we know her potential and she didn’t come close to it 5/10

ali krieger: yessss ali!!!! she looked gorgeous! very classy. never have been a fan of the weird cut out she had in her dress but she made it work! now please help ashlyn 9/10

moe brian: love the color! and the dress. but still she could have done a lil more. i know i love plain simple shit, but it was a little too much simple for me. i May be contradicting myself since i loved lindsey’s look, but again fight me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 7/10

sam mewis: i was underwhelmed by this? it just didn’t seem to fit her well. i like the outfit in general, but it just didn’t work. it really bothers me because it’s a cute look but i still didn’t like it lol 6/10

abby dahlkemper: i have the same dilemma here. it isn’t bad, rather cute i guess, but could be better. i think it just doesn’t fit with her. yep that’s it 6/10

AD franch: i wish she went with a darker suit, i think that would have looked even better. but still, like how we can depend on AD to have a good old typical suit 7/10

alyssa naeher: y’all remember when alyssa literally showed up as a nun last ESPYS??!?!? soooo underwhelming and boringggg. but look at this bitch now!!!! im so shook!!! get it girl!!! and also those shoes are super cute!!! ive been dogging on all the short dresses but i can’t say anything bad about this one!! Maybe it’s because it’s alyssa and it’s just so surprising who the fuck knows but wowww queen!! 10/10

jessica mcdonald: she looks nice. again not really a fan of the dress being short but i like the color. she earns bonus points for her cute lil son and his suspenders 😭😭😭 8/10

[nightqueendany]

Alright, What About These New Promos/Photos/Putting It All Together?

*Friki leaks mentioned. Read at your own risk*

I’ll be doing this in order of the Episodes (Ep 1 as per the Friki leaks and subsequent Episodes based on my own speculation).

(This is super long and keeps getting longer the more promo photos they give us but I regret nothing!)

~Adding corrections to Ep1 as per the leaks from REDDIT in regards to the premier. I’ll keep my original thoughts and then also add the corrections underneath.

Episode 1

The episode clearly begins with Jon and Dany arriving at Winterfell - this is the “spine” of the Episode, as D&D would call it. It’s the “main event.”

Obligatory shots of Sansa and Arya seeing the dragons for the first time, a child climbing something to see the soldiers marching through Wintertown as callback to Bran in Season 1. Jon and Dany arriving side-by-side, “together” as they said they would. And of course, Varys all bundled up in a wagon.

Jon greets Sansa, probably hoping a hug will defuse some of the tension that is bound to be in the air with him seeing her for the first time since he bent the knee to Dany.

Dany waiting with Jorah a respectful distance away while Jon reunites with his siblings.

Either before or after the Sansa hug, Jon’s got to greet Bran because Bran is seated right next to Sansa (Premier ~ Bran is apparently “cold” to Jon, stone faced, whatever, but why would we be surprised by this?):

So Sansa greets Jon and Dany, tells Dany Winterfell is hers (a custom when greeting and welcoming a royal as Ned did with Robert, not Sansa giving up the castle to Dany or some other bullshit FFS).

(Look at Missandei in the background! Look at her little cloak thingy!) Anyway...

While all this is happening, Davos and Jorah stand back and watch things unfold:

I’m not sure why but I like the team-up of Davos and Jorah. After seeing this photo I’m hoping we get some Davos-Jorah interactions like we got Jorah and Thoros last season. But then again, much of Jorah’s stuff seems to be alongside Dany this season so there may not be time for it.

Then somewhere in this initial greeting and Dany’s arrival in Winterfell, Bran adds fuel to the tension fire:

He gives Jon and Dany the news about the Wall, the Night King, and Viserion. Dany is clearly very affected by this news because Viserion’s death was bad enough, this is so much worse. She has said several times throughout the series, “A dragon is not a slave” and now her son is an undead/unwilling/unwitting accomplice to the Night King’s plans. It’ll be a truly heartbreaking moment for Dany on a number of levels but she won’t have much time at all to process this because:

(premier~was right about Dany having 0 time to process because of the Northern Lord meeting, kudos to me)

After Bran tells them all the news, they call a meeting in the great hall with Jon, Dany, Sansa, Tyrion, and all the rest of the Northern Lords/Ladies. We know this will be a tense meeting. Tyrion says “We have to fight together now, or die” - likely this is after he has told the Northerners about Cersei promising her troops to come fight. 

Apparently, by the way the leaks sound, the Northerners are much more displeased with the fact that Lannister troops are coming North than they were about Jon bending the knee and Dany being their Queen. At least, that’s how all versions of the leaks read to me.

But this makes sense though, as we’ve argued before. Dany has done nothing to these people and she’s there to help. They can see her, physically, in Winterfell, putting her money where her mouth is. Cersei on the other hand, played a direct role in harming members of the Stark family and she’s not present and neither are her troops - yet (even though we know they’re not coming at all). So it’ll be easier for the Northerner’s anger to shift to this queen they already didn’t like and who isn’t there rather than continue to direct their hate toward Dany. Again, Dany’s there, and for Northerners, actions speak louder than words.

(premier~not sure this is exactly how it will go down. I’m pretty pissed about Dany not being able to speak. I don’t think Sansa says anything during the meeting either. Just typical sexist man writing letting the men speak and the women remain silent UGH. Apparently Lyanna Mormont seems “betrayed” by Jon and the anger seems more directed at him than at Dany. This also kind of adds cred to what I’ve said above. Dany isn’t really the problem here. It’s everything surrounding the situation. By Ep2, the Northerners should be glad she’s there, they’re just salty at their former King right now and also salty about the Lannister alliance.

I have to say though, Dany sitting through this shit and listening to these salty as fuck northerners bitch and moan and her having the restraint not to go full on Dragon Queen is impressive. She’s calm. She’s not lashing out. Not telling the Northerners to deal with it and be greatful for her help. She is merely listening to them voice their complaints, as a Queen SHOULD. So TAKE THAT salty anti bitches!)

After the Northern Lord meeting, Tyrion and Sansa chat and Sansa’s concern is: Cersei. As I knew it would be. Again, she’s not really concerned about Dany. If she were, she would just flat out ask Tyrion - hey, do you think my idiot brother bent the knee because he’s getting laid, etc. But she doesn’t. She asks about what she’s been concerned about from the very beginning: Cersei. This I think will foreshadow Sansa’s arc for the season - finding out about Tyrion’s eventual betrayal and then presiding over his trial and execution at the end. All of Sophie’s talk about threats to her family, taking things away that she loves, fighting for what she loves...it all goes back to Cersei. Sophie and Maisie’s words about wanting to finish Arya’s list, Sansa wanting to help Arya finish her list, it all adds weight to this theory. 

(Premier~thinking this might have some romantic undertones with Sansa’s line “I thought you were the smartest man I knew” or something like that. Really sounds like Cersei’s line to Jaime, “I always knew you were the stupidest Lannister” - both Lannister boys being condemned because they are underestimating Cersei. I don’t like it. It takes away from Sansa’s anger. It makes her anger more about Tyrion than it does about Cersei which is again, typical man writing. Make it about the man, not about the actual important thing. It’s as if Sansa is more “disappointed” in Tyrion than she is angry no one is taking Cersei as seriously as she knows they should).

Next up, according to the leaks, Jon and Arya reunite:

Now, first off, Jon is obviously brooding because of the meeting with the Northern Lords. Obviously. It literally is supposed to be Jon’s last scene right before this one so I don’t believe he’s brooding for any other reason. Anyway...

According to leaks, Jon and Arya will compare swords, “stick them with the pointy end”, etc. etc. Arya will be the one to point out to Jon that Sansa doesn’t like Dany and Jon will ask for Arya’s help in getting the two to be civil toward each other.

Now, Maisie’s “thinking with his penis” comments seem to contradict this but she also says that Arya will be on Sansa’s side. So I imagine that IF it comes up, it will not be in this episode. Yes, Sansa later confronts Jon about why he bent the knee, but if there is any talk about “thinking with his penis” it will be well after.

(Premier ~ apparently Jon isn’t brooding at all, he’s just paying respects to the gods...? I suppose that makes sense since he hasn’t had access to a weirwood in months. But I never considered Jon a very devout man especially after his resurrection so this seems odd. Maybe it’s just the leaker’s interpretation).

Further South, Euron will have ferried the Golden Company to King’s Landing to meet with Cersei:

And while she’s watching her fancy new army role up, Qyburn will be giving Cersei the news of the Wall falling, making Cersei even more happy.

Cersei will receive Harry Strickland, LC of the Golden Company, and Euron. In this conversation, since it hasn’t been brought up really in the show, I’m guessing Harry Strickland will remind Cersei about the Golden Company never having gone back on a contract. We kind of need him to say this and remind both Cersei and the audience because to me, it’s inevitable that the GC will switch sides before the end of the War, maybe after the NK comes to KL or something.

As per the leaks, Euron, after this meeting, blackmails Cersei to sleep with him. I’m hoping it’s not as rape-y as that though. I had read a “leak” (more a headcanon theorist as there was no evidence) a while back that said Euron would ask to sleep with Cersei and she would allow him to jerk off in front of her. And that to me just sounds way more them. It still has Cersei in a position of power, Euron is still a creep. But it’s much more consensual and even a little comical. So I’m really hoping we get something similar to that instead of Cersei full on having to have sex with Euron because he’s got leverage over her. But we shall see.

(Premier ~ so there is no actual sex scene but we get Euron putting on his pants after they do the deed or something like that. The way it’s framed, it’s sort of consensual - as consensual as blackmail sex can be. But I don’t think it was as if Euron held Cersei down and forced himself on her. She had a choice - give up her throne or fuck him so she fucked him. Idk, I still don’t really like it, it’s rubbing me the wrong way but it is what it is).

While Cersei and Euron are otherwise occupied though, we know from the leaks that Theon will rescue Yara in this episode:

This is not Euron’s fleet because that ship in the middle is not his Silence. It’s Theon and what’s left of his Iron Born fleet.

Now, SUPER interesting - as per the leaks, once Theon rescues Yara, he supposedly asks to go to Winterfell to help them fight against the dead.

And in the new PROMO, we have someone say “This goes beyond loyalty,” and I can’t, for the life of me you guys, decide whether it’s Jaime or Theon’s voice. It seems to have a slight Northern twang to it, which Alfie does for Theon...but NCW also has a strange accent because he’s Danish so...make of it what you will. The voice that says “This is about survival” seems to be a different voice than the first.

I do however, still firmly believe that we will see Theon and Yara in Winterfell in Ep3 or 4 at the latest. But I’ll get more into that in a minute.

(Premier ~ so this goes down pretty much as simply as worded here. Theon grabs Yara pretty easily - UGH again with the sexist shit. If it was so easy for Theon to rescue her, especially given his fragile state of mind, why couldn’t Yara have escaped herself and Theon show up to like, half the boat murdered and Yara just waiting for him like “What took you so long bro?” Would have been way more satisfying. But yes, Theon tells Yara he’s going North to help - remember he saw the wight in the Dragonpit too - unclear if Yara goes with him)

After Theon and Yara, we’re back at Winterfell with Jon, Dany, and the dragons. I think the way this scene will go is by Dany approaching Jon and adorably telling him she has a “wild idea” or something like that. Jon being Jon will be hesitant at first “I can’t believe I let you talk me into this” but will agree to do it nonetheless.

(Premier ~ I think the above pic with Jon smiling and Dany in awe will be after they’ve landed by the waterfall and he says the “We could live here for a thousand years and no one would ever find us” line. If you ask me, this is pretty fucking romantic and tropey. The way the scene is framed, Jon lands Rhaegal first and Dany and Drogon land beside them. So Jon was clearly looking for a pretty place to dick Dany down in private and so picked the most cliche place he could find - a waterfall. But waterfalls in Iceland are supposed to be fucking beautiful so it should be a really lovely setting at least).

Then, it’s dragon riding time!

I don’t think Dany will fuss around with taking Jon riding on Drogon with her first. I think she’ll introduce Jon and Rhaegal, make sure Rhaegal doesn’t eat him, then Jon will climb on and they’ll fly off right then and there. It’s a short episode. They don’t have time for lengthy introductions unfortunately.

(Premier ~ yep, was right about the no fussing. Dany asks Jon if he would ever ride a dragon, he asks “How does one ride a dragon” and Dany answers “By riding it”. There’s some banter and Jon saying he could fall and die so Dany cheekily answers “Then it was nice knowing you Jon Snow.” To me, this is Dany challenging Jon, like, daring him to get on the dragon and if he did, he’d get a “reward” at the end of it - which clearly, that’s what them landing by the waterfall is all about, they go there to have sex).

This is why I think Davos, Varys, and Tyrion look so astonished in the photo above. They’ve all seen the dragons before and have gotten quite used to them. So why would they be looking so surprised? Because Jon is on Rhaegal. Notice in the first photo above, the clip cuts out right before we see Rhaegal’s back - where a rider might perch. And if you mess with the colors in photoshop, that is Rhaegal, he’s green. So Jon rides him.

(Premier ~ yes, Jon rides a dragon. Was not that hard to put together. More on Davos, Varys and Tyrion in a bit!)

After the dragon riding, Jon and Dany kiss passionately. I firmly believe the above image is after Jon and Dany kiss because Jon still has his hands on Dany’s waist and they look super irritated, as if they’ve been interrupted, but by what, not sure.

(Premier ~ so apparently their faces of irritation are actually directed at the dragons for watching them make out. My post “Trying to make out here, you guys fucking mind?” was on the nose. I think the scene is framed like the dragons know what mom and dad are up to and it’s supposed to be comical).

It’s unclear if Davos, Tyrion, and Varys see their kiss but the leaks say they discuss Jon and Dany, Tyrion saying something like Varys thinks of Dany differently because he doesn’t have a cock - hinting at Tyrion’s feelings for Dany. (Dark!Tyrion emerging!)

(Premier ~ so as Jon and Dany walk away (or as they walk back in afterward - unclear ) Varys and Davos ponder getting Jon and Dany together - I guess like, formal marriage alliance, though don’t know if the word “marriage” is used. But I think this is pretty silly that they didn’t know Jon and Dany were having sex on the boat for a month. Then again, Perhaps Varys and Davos were on a different boat and Tyrion was the only one on the boat with Jon and Dany...? Whatever. So the idea of making Jon and Dany a “formal” thing is brought up. My guess is this won’t be the last time either. This is probably what prompts Tyrion to say Varys thinks of her differently because he has no cock).

One last interaction between Jon and Dany right outside the castle walls, so coming in from their dragon riding/make out sesh. Not sure what they’d be talking about here. Possibly Jon just told a really bad joke and Dany is not amused. IDK why but it totally looks like he’s smiling in that pic of the two of them!

(Premier ~ for your guys viewing pleasure, the whole Reddit comment on the Jon/Dany/dragon/sex fieldtrip:

(One last note about this scene: I love Jon’s line “We could live here for a thousand years...” because it says SO MUCH. 1) he says “we” as in him and Dany so he’s been thinking about living with Dany. 2) he wants his privacy with her, wants to be away from the public eye...maybe hinting that he won’t want to press his claim against her for the throne...? 3) this could be foreshadowing of Jon and Dany’s endgame and right now, with the way the writing is going, I’m not even going to hope for more than this. I don’t care who ends up king or queen, I don’t care about Westerosi politics. Just give me Jon and Dany holed up somewhere, living in peace with their baby. This line also totally gave me “red door” vibes. Goes back to Dany’s book quote in ADWD about Daario, “In her dream they had been man and wife, simple folk who lived a simple life in a tall stone house with a red door. In her dream he had been kissing her all over—her mouth, her neck, her breasts.” It’s what Jon seemingly wants, and it’s what Dany dreams of. Let them be happy!!!)

An Arya/Hound reunion follows, followed by my second favorite ship in the entire series:

Heavy flirting, flustered Arya, “M’Lady.” God, kill me now. My body is ready. Arya fucking deserves some good Gendry dick. Let our girl be young and carefree and comforted for once! I’m ready. I’m so ready.

(Premier ~ Arya apparently draws a design for a weapon for herself and Gendry starts making it for her. Totally Jaime/Brienne/Oathkeeper vibes. You love a woman, you give her a weapon. Though of course, I’m still pissed at her reunion with the Hound. Her being inexplicably angry with him...for being alive...? And him calling her a “bitch” is fucking gross. What the fuck were D&D thinking???)

A Sansa/Jon confrontation in which she asks him if he bent the knee for the North or love and Jon is likely left speechless because, as has been pointed out many times, he doesn’t have to choose between the two with Dany. He loves her and she’s going to save his people.

(Premier ~ Jon apparently “shies” away from answering and again, yeah, that’s Jon Snow. He doesn’t like to talk about his feelings anyway and now he’s being asked by his sister if he basically gave up the North for pussy. Of course he doesn’t fucking want to answer. And as someone recently pointed out - sorry, can’t remember who said it but credit to you! - if Jon were to say “no” he didn’t bend the knee for love, he’d be a liar, and if he said “yes” then he’d seem really dumb in Sansa’s eyes and prove all her thoughts about him being an idiot correct.

Sidenote: if Political!Jon were happening, why the fuck wouldn’t Jon just say it, in this, a private meeting with the woman he supposedly actually loves - and why would he fly off on a dragon to a beautiful waterfall secluded location to dick down the woman he supposedly hates? Fucking idiot antis. Guys, just steer clear of them until this is all over!)

Another intense encounter, this time with Jorah, Sam, and Dany, likely in the library, as we can see all the scrolls and books on the shelves:

Not sure how this will go. Perhaps Jorah will have seen Sam around Winterfell and want to introduce him and Dany. Then, Dany upon learning Sam’s name, will feel compelled to tell him about his father and brother.

As we know from the leaks, Sam will not be upset about his father, but upset about his brother. Don’t know Dany’s exact reaction but Sam apparently does say “thank you for telling me.”

Now, I’m not trying to diminish Sam’s grief. I’m sure he is incredibly upset at learning his brother was sentenced to death and executed by the woman he’s been hearing about for ages. This isn’t a great start for Dany and Sam to get off on but like with most things in GOT, none of our characters are ever given time to process their own grief or anger. Sorry, antis, that’s just a fact. Davos makes a quip in Season 7 about Tyrion burning his son with wildfire for fuckssake. I mean, come on. Jon is resurrected and two episodes later he’s gathering armies for his sister to fight in yet another battle to take back Winterfell. Dany learns about Viserion’s resurrection by the Night King and immediately has to face a bunch of grumpy Northerners who don’t want her there. The show isn’t great with letting our characters just be with their feelings for a while.

So while yes, I know Sam is upset and yes, his anger over his brother’s death will be directed at Dany, he won’t have much time to process this and he won’t have much time to stay mad at her. They have work to do and they have to work together now, whether Sam will want to or not.

(Premier ~ nothing really that I haven’t mentioned above. Seems suspicious that Sam goes from blubbering crying to heading to Jon to “tattle” on Dany and say Jon could be King instead - and he’s apparently not crying in that scene...? Idk, just seems weird and opportunistic. And Sam apparently makes a joke about his Dad’s death before he finds out about Dickon? Idk all around, the writing is just really confusing. Everyone’s emotions are all over the place. And yeah, I’m with several others, I hate that Sam’s “grief” is the lead in to Jon finding out about his parentage. As the Reddit commenter says, in this scene, you’ll stop giving a fuck about Sam because you just want Jon to find out who he really is. And that kind of comment seems really telling to me).

After Sam and Dany’s talk, Sam apparently immediately goes to Jon in the crypts:

Pretty sure this shot of Jon is before the parentage reveal. He doesn’t look upset and he is still wearing his Stark gorget - which he doesn’t wear in the Winterfell battle - you know, a time when it would really come in handy to protect his neck and chest...? So it appears that in the later episodes, Jon takes this off. But more on Jon’s outfits in a little bit.

Now, if this is before the parentage reveal, then I’m sure many people would ask, well, why is he lighting candles on Lyanna’s statue? And the simple answer is, because it’s what the Starks do. Sansa lights a candle at Lyanna’s statue in S5. She tells Baelish that Ned used to do the same thing. It’s just the Stark way of showing respect to their dead relatives. I can’t think of another reason why Jon would be down in the crypts anyway pre-parentage reveal but this is where Sam finds him - as per the leaks. So that’s just what Jon’s doing. Paying respects. And how perfect will it be that he’s standing in front of his mother’s statue completely clueless, only to learn moments after this that she is, in fact, his mother and not his aunt? I think Jon will likely turn back to her statue with an incredulous look on his face and see Lyanna in a whole new light.

Sam tells Jon about Dany burning his brother, tells Jon he’s the true heir, Jon insists Dany is queen now and is the one in charge, he already bent the knee, I think he argues with Sam a little about the parentage thing at first. It’s unclear how this scene will end but it will be the end of the episode.

(Premier ~ so apparently that is not the end of the episode. More in a minute. Apparently Sam tells Jon Dany would do the right thing for the people and bend the knee to him and Jon considers this possibility? Which 1 - weird. But as I stated in a recent ask, this is also another interaction that completely shoots down Political!Jon for those of you nervous-Nellies who have a heart attack every time an anti posts a new meta about it. If Jon were so afraid of Dany and suspicious of her and so distrusting of her that he had to sleep with her to manipulate her to his side, he wouldn’t think “hmm, yeah, maybe she will bend the knee to me as I’m the rightful heir”. He’d be terrified of this information and want Sam to keep it to himself. He would likely guess Dany would want to kill him if he distrusted her so. But he doesn’t distrust her and he apparently thinks she may bend the knee to him. This could be wishful thinking, but perhaps Jon is already considering a marriage alliance with Dany to avoid this drama altogether...? Who knows.

The actual END of the episode is Jaime showing up to Winterfell and locking eyes with Bran. No one else around. Just those two. The end.

Other things not previously mentioned:

Night’s Watch shenanigans. Not sure what goes on with this, if they are at castle black or not. Something with the Umbers - I had a really hard time interpreting this because it was so unclear. Will have to just wait for the actual episode. I think Sansa writers to Ned Umber too...? Fuck if I know.

Also ruins in the Wall at Castle Black...or at Last Hearth. Again, location is unclear. But definitely seems the Night King is trying to send the living a message of some kind, it’s just in an ancient language no one can understand. So this is interesting to say the least.

Also, Qyburn on behalf of Cersei, offers Bronn money to go find Jaime and Tyrion and kill them).

Phew, that was a lot.

Episode 2!

This is where I move heavy into tinfoily theory bits here but I think my guesses are pretty educated! Bear with me!

Episode 2 will open with Cersei alone in bed, Euron likely having left after they did whatever they did the episode before. And this is when Cersei will miscarry.

I have a very specific reason for thinking the episode will open with Cersei’s miscarriage but I will explain that later. Also, I know according to the early S7 script leaks, Cersei’s last 7x07 scene was supposed to be the miscarriage, but I think D&D had very good reason to shift it from S7 to S8.

So far as the rest of the order of the episode, it’s pretty unclear, as is whatever goes on during this episode because we don’t have Friki leaks to go off of anymore. But after Cersei’s miscarriage, I think we’ll head back to Winterfell where Dany will receive Jaime (remember, she’s the reigning monarch here so she would receive newcomers).

It’s going to be a tense meeting.

Because of the Jon parentage reveal the end of the episode prior, I don’t think Jon will be at this meeting. Dany may not even know where he is so it’s just her and Jaime and Tyrion and maybe a few other Team Targaryen folks.

Jaime will let Dany know of Cersei’s betrayal and that he “intends to fight for the living” regardless of what Cersei is doing.

Tyrion will stick up for Jaime, have his back, support him, tell Dany he thinks Jaime is telling the truth and that Jaime’s intentions are pure.

At this point, I don’t think Tyrion has any intention of betraying Dany and the Starks yet. But I think how Dany reacts to the Cersei news may inform Tyrion’s eventual decision to change sides later. Also, everyone please keep in mind Dany doesn’t know Cersei is pregnant (or was) and I don’t think Tyrion will tell her. I think Tyrion will just remind Dany of the dead coming south, Viserion, etc. in order to keep her from flying off for the afternoon to go take care of Cersei. If Tyrion were to tell Dany of Cersei’s pregnancy, she may immediately suspect him of knowing Cersei was lying about coming to help. So he’ll want to keep that information locked up tight.

Now, sometime after Jaime’s arrival and reception by Dany, Tyrion and Jaime will probably have a brotherly conversation, I’m guessing Tyrion will bring up Cersei’s pregnancy, maybe ask how Jaime had the strength to leave Cersei knowing she was pregnant, other things.

Jaime could then go on to have a little reunion with Brienne and may even meet Bran again. (Premier ~ obviously this happened the episode prior and maybe we would just get a continuation of that scene before Jaime meets with Dany). There is also the possibility of another large council with the Northern Lords where they tell them of Cersei’s betrayal - which would further get the heat off Dany’s back and onto Cersei’s. The Northerners will be more motivated after this news to support Dany against Cersei because again, Dany is with them and stuck true to her word, Cersei did not.

Sometime after her meeting with Jaime, Dany will be somewhere...the library? Her chambers...? And Jorah will come talk to her:

He could be telling her any number of things in this scene. They could be talking about Sam and his family, they could be talking about Jon, they could be talking about Jaime. My guess is Jaime and reminding Dany of the right path because, you know, D&D love having men be Dany’s moral compass on the show and telling her right from wrong and what to do. So Jaime seems the most likely topic. I have another alternative theory for this scene but I will get to that later!

Sometime in Episode 2, we may have Theon and Yara en route to Winterfell. Alternatively, we may not get them in this episode at all and they could show up after the battle in Episode 4. More on this later!

I think for the most part, Jon may be fairly absent from Episode 2. Someone joked he’s going to be down in the crypts brooding for several days before someone realizes he’s missing and I don’t think that’s too much of a stretch (k it won’t be days and he’ll resurface to eat and give orders but he may make frequent trips to the crypts besides).

Obviously at some point, Dany will visit Jon in the crypts:

This may be closer to the end of Episode 2 or it may even be the beginning of Episode 3. But as Jon and Dany would have had a romance-filled Episode 1, it doesn’t make sense for that to be put on hold an entire episode so my guess is this is Episode 2.

Dany probably won’t know the truth about Jon when she approaches, she just knows something is wrong, and he will tell her in this scene. Dany will be shocked, I don’t think she will mention “rightful” heir at all unless she offers Jon the throne which he would obviously refuse. I think she would just want to support him in this scene and maybe even have a nice little moment where she throws his words back to him “You don’t have to choose.”

Now, will that be the end of the angst? No. Clearly not. My guess is even when Dany comforts him, Jon will still be torn, especially about the familial thing. They’ll part ways, Dany giving Jon time and space to think. She’ll be upset. He’ll be upset. It’ll be angst central but there will be no animosity between them. Dany may even bring up Rhaegal and why Jon had such an easy time riding him the episode before.

Also in this episode (likely before Dany goes to Jon in the crypts), we’ll get Dany in the library again and she looks happier than she did in her meeting with Jaime (potential meeting with Jaime but I’m like almost 100% sure that’s what it was). It’s been speculated that because of this set photo...:

That Dany is talking to Sansa, because Sophie is in the background. And certainly this new photo of Sansa in the library as well, adds weight to that theory.

However, it seems the library is a new and very frequently used set for this season, so these two photos could be from different scenes. But maybe not! Who knows!

I originally thought that Dany might be talking to Bran and he tells her the “...brought you where you are now. Home,” line. And I still think Bran says this to Dany, not anyone else. But it may not be this library scene or this episode.

So if it is Dany and Sansa in the library, and Dany is smiling, what could they be talking about? Perhaps they talk fashion, Dany commenting on Sansa’s armor, maybe she was even the one to have it made for Sansa, as the style is very much like Dany’s dresses and the Unsullied armor with those shoulders. They could be talking about Cersei and how Dany should have known not to trust her and they could bond over that. Whatever they talk about, it’s not going to be a terrible conversation, clearly Dany is smiling and she seems enthusiastic about something.

Prior to the potential Dany-Sansa library conversation, we could have a Sansa-Arya conversation, talking about maybe trying to be nice to Dany, listen to her, get to know her before they judge her, etc. The fact that Sansa will know by now that Cersei has betrayed them (because Jaime’s told them), and however Dany reacts to that, may endear Sansa to Dany a little bit. If Sansa was worried about Cersei in the beginning, and Dany has been worried about Cersei, I really feel like this could be their connection, and Dany’s connection to Arya as well.

At this point, I don’t think the Stark girls will find out about RLJ in Ep2. If they find out at all! It’s a private conversation between Sam and Jon, not a whole family affair. So who Jon decides to tell - we have to remember he’s broody. This isn’t something he’ll want to broadcast. So if/when the Stark girls find out about RLJ is very unclear.

And lastly, the end of the Episode. And my alternate theory as to what Dany and Jorah are talking about in this scene:

In these scenes, Dany looks tired, wary, possibly upset, maybe not feeling well...you guys see where I’m going with this??

If the episode begins with Cersei’s miscarriage (I know, that’s just my speculation as well but...), it would make so much sense if the episode ended with...Dany finding out she’s pregnant.

She’s just found out her lover is her nephew, Jon’s being distant and broody, Jaime just dropped the Cersei bomb, shit’s about to hit the fan...and Dany’s knocked up! It would make so much sense for them to order the episode this way.

Episode 1 will end with a bombshell revelation for Jon. (premier ~ well, pretty much almost ends with the bombshell revelation for Jon).

And Episode 2 will end with a bombshell revelation for Dany.

Two things that have plagued both of their stories from the beginning - Jon’s mother’s identity, Dany’s infertility. Both things coming at them one after the other.

So if Dany has just found that out, Jorah may have overheard, maybe ask Dany if she wants to talk about it, maybe ask her what’s up with her and Jon as he’s noticed they’re distant lately, and Dany’s just significantly overwhelmed.

Regardless of whether the Jorah scene also involves the pregnancy reveal, I still think this is how Episode 2 will end.

I know I left out lots of characters and potential interactions, but I just wanted to get down those that I felt more sure about and cover the big events. Obviously smaller interactions can and will be taking place this episode too.

Episode 3

THE BATTLE FOR WINTERFELL!!!

This episode is going to be balls to the walls from beginning to end. I am guessing the episode will open with Bran, seeing the Night King just a short distance a way, maybe a day away, and so everyone needs to hall ass and get ready.

Most of the episode will likely take place in the dark, at night.

This Sansa pic is probably the night of the battle or the night before while everyone is prepping. Shit hasn’t started happening yet which is why she’s still outside, but it will very very soon. Likewise this pic of Jon:

Now, sidenote on this photo. My fave youtube girl mentioned this in her VIDEO that she put out recently but even before she pointed it out, I had noticed it too. What is Jon wearing? I would say this is Longclaw, but it appears to be silver, not white. It could be nothing, but if someone else noticed it aside from me, then maybe not. You guys let me know if you noticed this broach looking thing on Jon’s chest or not. But regardless, Jon is, yet again, not wearing the Stark gorget.

Somewhere in here, I think is when Jon and Sam have their conversation. “Think back to where we started.” “Now it’s just us.” BUT, the conversation will get interrupted by three horn blasts. Winter is HERE.

That’s likely Sam’s face at hearing the horn blasts. Bran is unfazed because of course he is.

And now shit goes down:

(I’m gonna hate this episode for the simple fact that I WON’T BE ABLE TO SEE A DAMN THING!!!)

Missandei and Grey Worm have their (hopefully not) last kiss. Then Grey Worm puts on his “bitches bout to die...again” face.

Everyone runs outside the castle walls to line up:

(Notice in the above, there isn’t any fire yet so likely, this is right before the battle)

Jorah and the Dothraki get in position (and apparently that’s Ghost behind Jorah - can see his outline by Jorah’s shoulder - side note, where the FUCK is all my Ghost promo content???!!!):

Brienne, Pod, and the Knights of the Vale get ready:

Meanwhile in the crypts, Varys, Gilly and Baby Sam, and a few other non-fighters sit fearfully:

And then all seven hells break loose:

Sandor and Beric are in the fray (I think this moment is Sandor’s realization that he was always meant to fight with fire, not against it. Goes back to Rory’s words about Sandor finding “peace” serving Dany. He’s already seen her save people with the dragons and fire once, himself included, so he’s having an epiphany here. The fire will save him again, rather than harm him and I think we’ll see him light up his sword blood-magic style like Beric. I really hope we get some shots of him and Arya fighting side by side, him protecting her (though she doesn’t really need it) surrogate-dad style.

Jon’s running around on the ground, chopping wights and Walkers down. Still he’s not wearing anything thicker or more protective than his leathers. Then again, it might be easier for him to move around, I dunno. But he’s doing his thing.

Someone is chopping down wights on the battlements and at first I thought this was Brienne...but she and Pod were on the ground with the Knights of the Vale. They could have moved as it appears Pod winds up fighting next to Jaime on the battlements. But I think the person above might be...

The nose certainly looks like Alfie’s nose and the person appears to have chin stubble. Could be Theon, could not be Theon. I’m praying it is. I want to see Theon in the Battle for Winterfell being a bad ass sooooo bad! But if he’s not here, I do have some speculations as to what he might be up too...more later!

Jaime and Pod are doing stuff:

I’m convinced Jaime is calling “Bronn” in this scene and if Jaime looks this horrified, Bronn may have just bit it. I really hope not but of course, there will be many casualties in this episode so I can’t get too attached to anyone!

Arya’s fucking shit up while wights clamber over the battlements, those dragonglass spikes apparently doing nothing to deter them:

...and then something goes wrong. It could be one big thing, it could be lots of little things. But something goes wrong in the battle and for our heroes. Obviously we know Winterfell falls. Get it? Winter. Fell. It has to. Not a pleasant thought, but the Night King will triumph in this battle. He will not be defeated and everyone will be forced to flee south.

As to the logistics of how people get out of Winterfell and how the Night King still moves south, I don’t know. I think somehow Arya is going to lure some of the army of the dead through Winterfell, maybe to some kind of trap, while everyone else escapes through the crypts or secret tunnels or something. Why Arya? Because she’s quick and small and knows the castle better than most. But I could be wrong.

Whatever happens with this, again, Winterfell will fall and survivors will have narrowly escaped. The Night King will head south and our heroes will have to regroup. This episode will not end on a happy note.

Casualties in the Battle for Winterfell?

Jorah - this is almost a guarantee. With us having so much Jorah/Dany content for the first few episodes, it makes sense Jorah will die in 8x03.

Possibly Brienne - she could die saving Jaime (cuz he can’t defend himself as well as he usually is able). She’ll die defending a Lannister, a play on what she said to Catelyn in S2 when Jaime was the Starks’ prisoner.

Ghost - Come on, this has to happen. I’m gonna hate it, but they’re not gonna keep him around to ferry him to Dragonstone. He’s of the North, as book!Jon says. He belongs to the North. He will die in the North.

Bronn - already stated this. Though he may live...more later!

Maybe Rhaegal? Perhaps that is why Jon ends up on the ground, he was riding Rhaegal but then gets taken down and Rhaegal dies, forcing Jon to fight on foot.

I want to say Jaime could die in this episode too but I don’t know about that inadvertent NCW leak-lawsuit business. Is he in all 6 episodes? Is he just paid for all 6 because of an old contract agreement even if he doesn’t appear in them? Don’t know. I would guess though that he dies here.

Some minor characters: Royce, Glover, Lyanna Mormont, maybe? Maybe not all of them, but some of them.

Everyone else should make it to Dragonstone.

Episodes 4/5

Now, we know via this scene of Jon/Dany, that they wind up at Dragonstone after the Battle of Winterfell:

BUT HOW DO THEY GET THERE...??

I know I kept mentioning it but now I finally get to voice my theory...:

Theon and Yara will either show up before or right after the battle at Winterfell. I think because it’s the most logical location, they’ll park the ships in Torrhen’s Square so it’s an easy getaway for our heroes. White Harbor just seems too far away for them to travel to and they can’t really go by foot because they’d be marching behind the Night King so that would be weird. But I could be wrong on the location. Regardless, Theon and Yara will likely be the ones to ferry everyone to the safety of Dragonstone. Everyone’s armies - Night King’s and Jon/Dany’s, will have faced some very heavy loses.

Now, with everyone at Dragonstone, it’s a SUPER convenient location for shenanigans on all sides of the war.

I’ve mentioned in other posts and asks the possibility of an Arya/Sansa teamup to take down Cersei - Cleganebowl totally could play into this as well as Sandor loves both girls and would want to help them and also “cross a name off his list” along with Arya. This could be before or after the Night King is finally defeated, it’s unclear. My guess is after but once everyone is in the south, it’s going to pretty much be a free-for-all.

Another possibility is a Dany kidnapping. I’ve brought this up a few times and no, if you’ve been watching my other posts, it has nothing to do with stealing Jonsa theories. It also has nothing to do with Jonerys and Cersei for some reason trying to lure Jon in to capture him or something - it would just be a showdown between Dany and Cersei because as per Lena’s comments on the Dragonpit meeting last season, Cersei believes Dany to be the YMBQ and I have seen no reason to question that.

Another potential plot is definitely the Tyrion betrayal and how it will all go down, what will start it, etc. I *think* Tyrion’s betrayal will be triggered by a Jon/Dany betrayal of him first, otherwise I see no reason Tyrion would jump sides just because he’s in love with Dany. It really would be an insult to his character if it’s all because of jealousy...I would actually HATE that. I kind of want Jon and Dany to betray him first, but how, not sure.

That could be what Jon and Dany are discussing here:

I think by this point, after fighting and losing the battle at Winterfell, the parentage reveal will be a non-issue for them. They can’t still be angsting over that bullshit when they’ve literally just lost the thousands of people, some close friends likely included.

We know from Friki’s leaks that Tyrion says in his trial, “They deserved it.” Some people think he’s talking about Tyrion blowing up King’s Landing but he also could be referencing his betrayal of Jon and Dany - Jon and Dany “deserved” Tyrion betraying them because they betrayed him first. To me, this makes much more sense.

After all, what would the people of King’s Landing do to Tyrion in Season 8 that would cause him to be so cynical as to retaliate? Seriously, that just doesn’t make sense. “They deserved it” to me, sounds way more personal. As in someone close to Tyrion betrayed him. And as Peter Dinklage said in one of his interviews, it’s tough for Tyrion because he loves both Jon and Dany. So a betrayal from them would hit Tyrion really hard.

This could go back to Dany’s pregnancy though how, I’m not sure. By 8x05, Jon should know that Dany is pregnant. It could also have something to do with Cersei’s pregnancy. If Jaime believes he’ll die in the battle at Winterfell, what if he has a private conversation with Dany beforehand like “Please protect my child, don’t kill Cersei, keep her prisoner if you must but please don’t kill her.” If something like this happened, Dany could guess Tyrion knew about Cersei’s pregnancy as well and that Tyrion was holding back information from her for the benefit of his family. Dany could see this as a betrayal from Tyrion, everything she accused him of on the beach back in 7x04 would have been proven correct.

As to how Jon and Dany potentially betray Tyrion...perhaps it happened before Dragonstone. Maybe they couldn’t find Tyrion after the Winterfell battle and so left without him...? I’m not sure. Maybe they negotiate a deal with Cersei to trade Tyrion for...something? Maybe they just plot against Cersei, plot to kill her to get the Golden Company off their backs, and Tyrion is finally done choosing Jon/Dany over his family - believing Cersei is pregnant would certainly inform his decision on this.

As to how Tyrion could betray Jon/Dany, this could come about in a number of ways as well. But I definitely think it will be a betrayal of both Jon and Daenerys - or else why would Peter Dinklage have said that thing about loving both of them?

One thing is for sure: Tyrion will betray them, he will get caught - my guess is Sansa and Arya will figure this out (oh maybe they will figure it out when they’re plotting against Cersei, perhaps they will find something out Tyrion didn’t want anyone to know...), and Tyrion will be executed for his crimes.

I believe this image is definitely of Tyrion’s trial. He appears to be standing on sand or dirt, not snow, it’s sunny-ish (I could be wrong). But it’s my best guess.

Other wardrobe guesses...

Dany’s Dragonstone dress was her Wintefell battle dress. It likely will be right after they arrive - yes, yes, I know, the timing, the timing, but when has that mattered in recent seasons?

The dress that Daenerys wears for the majority of the rest of her time on Dragonstone/in the South, I believe will be this one:

It’s a lighter material, suede not fur. It makes sense.

Sansa’s scale dress:

...I think will be the dress she wears for Tyrion’s trial. It’s very remniscent of this classic Tully look:

And we know from previous seasons, that when Sansa wants to channel inner strength in difficult times, she takes from her Tully side more than her Stark side - her wedding to Ramsay and having the two Tully fish pins being a classic example.

And, granted Tyrion’s first trial was conducted by Sansa’s Tully mother, it would make SO MUCH sense for her to channel Cat as she’s doing something similar - putting Tyrion on trial.

I think for Tyrion’s trial there may be a lot of callbacks to both of Tyrion’s previous trials, his trail in the Vale and his trial in King’s Landing. Robin Arryn is allegedly there. Davos, Arya, Bran, Sam - I think, and several others.

Tyrion will likely have a speech remniscent of his “I’m guilty of being a dwarf” speech. Regardless of what all is said and what all Tyrion’s charges are, I strongly believe he will die at the end (or near end) of this episode.

Aaaannnddd...that’s all I got! Let me know what you guys think. If you reblog, please reblog with the cut because this is fucking obnoxiously long. If you reblog with an obnoxiously long reply, either use a cut or simply make your own post and link it in your reblog to better fascilitate discussion (I say this like you guys are actualy reading this, in reality, this will likely get like, 16 notes at best because it took so damn long lol).

[helpmehelpyouplease]

Being a step parent isn’t for the faint of heart, people. I truly don’t know how people keep their sanity. I’m a 27 year old step mom to a 16 year old girl and 13 year old girl (their Dad who is 8 years older than me was 18 and 21 when they were born, so he’s a young dad and I’m a very young step mom). I’m currently pregnant with their half-brother, due in February. I met the girls when they were 12 and 9 and moved in with their dad when they were 14 and 11 - so we were living together when they were with their dad (50%). I married their dad when they were 15 and 12.

Mom is crazy, and has been from day one of my introduction. She doesn’t want me to “replace” her - she’s the mom. Sweetheart, the LAST thing I want to do is replace you. I’ve got enough of my own shit going on to be a good mom to a 16 year old girl and 13 year old girl. When they are with their dad and me, I’ll be there for them. I cook dinner, I help w homework, I cart them to soccer and basketball practice when dad is working late, etc. However, I am not mom. I’m very close to my mom, and I know how special that relationship is - she’s my best friend, my rock, my confidant. I would never try to replace that relationship, or even tarnish it in any way. However, she is still very threatened. I believe she has a low self worth - so it’s truly her issue. She has never spoken more than one word to me. She has never reached out to try to get to know me, or be on the same page as the other woman in her daughters’ lives. She simply communicates to my husband via short worded emails regarding information for their daughters and issues she has with me. I’m not quite sure if she realizes that he’s been sharing her communication since we started dating 6 years ago or not. But every time you call me a bitch or tell him vehemently that I’m not the mom and I have no rights as a “parent” - I am made aware. For no other reason than to make sure my husband and I have no secrets and are on the same page. My feelings don’t need to be protected as much as I need to know when someone is attempting to talk shit about me to my husband. Per my advice, he never responds to her complaints about me, more than to say “our communication should be limited to our daughters if you cannot be civil regarding my family”.

Idk about you all, but if I had two teenage daughters living with my ex from high school (who I barely know now that we are both in our mid 30s and haven’t been together in 12 years) and his wife - I would be making her my BEST FRIEND. We’d be chatting all the time about what the girls are up to, who they’re friends with (as friendships in teenage girl world can be fluid and ever-changing), who they like, who they’re dating, etc. I would make sure that the communication between both households was rock solid so nothing slipped through the cracks. Men can’t communicate like women (no offense guys, girls just have the gift of gab), so I’d go through step mom who clearly has a relationship with my daughters - it would be different if step mom wasn’t involved or was checked out. Not this b. She does nothing to create communication. And truly, in my opinion it’s her responsibility. You are the “mom” right?? Not my job to open lines of communication- I’d hate to overstep as you’ve accused me of it before.

I think she is self conscious and will never love herself enough to put herself out there to create a relationship with me, her daughters’ step mom. You can say what you want about being tied to your kids for 18 years - that shit is for life. So you’ll see me, Mom, at graduations and weddings. Hopefully the girls stay close (like I am to my parents and you are to your parents) and have family over for holidays when they have their own kids - ya might see me then too! I’m birthing at least one of their siblings, eventually two if the Lord allows. They will be tied to their siblings longer than you and I will be on this earth, which means they will have a connection to my family. Wouldn’t you want to get to know me and my family?

It truly baffles my mind.

While Mom is crazy, Dad also has issues. Yes, he is my husband. Yes, I love him immensely. Yes, he is the father of my future son. But he wasn’t put on this earth and reared to be the best part time dad married to a step mom. Who is? I think others might do it better, but I’ve never met any so maybe everyone has their struggles with shared custody and “new” relationships. We have power struggles because I was raised in a Matriarchal family and he was raised in a Patriarchal family. The struggle can get real lol. His last line is “they’re my kids, so it’s my say”. HOLD UP. They’re YOUR kids so YOU have the say. Are they your kids and it’s your day when I get home from work at 4:30 and start dinner right away so the kids can eat by 5/5:15 to be able to have it digested and be at practice by 6 - which is when you get home from work? Or am I doing the parenting at that moment - as I’m feeding them, which is a parent’s job? Are they your kids when they have an algebra text the next day and I’m making a practice test for them to study because I minored in math and college and it’s easy for me to help? Or am I helping with parenting in an aspect? Are they your kids when I’m buying them clothing for the school year, summer, Christmas, and birthdays because I’m a woman and know what’s in and they’re more comfortable with me going bra shopping than with dad? Or am I a partial parent in that moment? Am I not exercising parental action when I’m home alone with them from 4-6 after school and you’re still at work and they start fighting and I have to tell them to stop or exercise a punishment - like a babysitter would should they be in her care?

This is what I don’t get. You watch tv shows with step-parents, and parents are very quick to say the step-parent isn’t a parent and they have no rights. Well we give teachers and babysitters and caregivers rights and they aren’t parents - so what exactly is the difference from a step-parent? And if I’m helping my husband pay the bills, should I not get a say in where we are spending the bills? Sometimes money affects parental decisions as well. It’s our money, so I get a say. Maybe we can’t afford to get your daughter a car when she gets her license at 17 because we have a baby in daycare. Parental decision due to limited funds. This is what I don’t understand. Mom, you think I can’t parent because I’m a step-parent. Guess what? It’s irresponsible for you to say that. If you want a child who you have 100% parental rights over - then marry a man and have a child with him. Otherwise, the children you share custody of with a man you are no longer with will always have 50% influence from another parent that isn’t you or your significant other. And most likely an additional parental figure, who is married to their father. SIMPLE. The best way to make sure your opinions in parenting are being heard is to get chummy w step mom. BUT you won’t ever do that. So you’ll never understand the 100% custodial rights and decision making. I’m sorry for you, but that’s the truth. Deal with it.

Maybe in February my viewpoint will change, when I become a mother myself. 🤷‍♀️ but I’m gonna say I doubt it. This is just common sense, people. You’re all too close to the subjects to understand how you’re being toxic.

Ladies, I’m going to leave you with some advice. If you meet a man that has kids, RUN! If you say fuck it, I don’t need to be serious w him and meet the kids, you’re stupid. Because you’re going to “fall in love” with this man, create a life with him, and marry him. THERE IS SOMEONE ELSE OUT THERE WITHOUT KIDS THAT IS JUST AS GREAT AS HIM. Truly, it’s not worth your stress. Moms are crazy. Dad’s are dumb. Being a stepparent is hard as f. It is not for the faint of heart. If you’re thinking about it, just know that it doesn’t get better. There will always be a struggle - even if it’s peaceful for a while. They didn’t work for a reason, so what makes us think their coparenting will be 100% peaceful?

[meggannn]

LOL YOUR ROOMMATE?? I can't stop laughing omg

god did i ever share the full story of what happened with my housemate last year? i think i bitched about her a little bit but here’s the full write-up of my six months with that housemate. unedited and probably full of errors and discrepancies sorry cause im going off entirely from memory

i’ve now moved out of this apartment, but i was there for a year with three other girls. two of them i got along with fine, and we introduced ourselves to each other before we moved in because that’s common courtesy to see if we get along right? but basically before any of us could talk or interview candidates for the last spot in the apartment, this girl, i’m making up a name and calling her emily, this random girl named emily basically came in and signed on for the spot on the lease without talking to any of us. uh, okay? so we eventually all get in a group chat and talk and introduce ourselves and plan to move in. day one:  emily moved in before me and i moved in a few hours later. i walk in and see the kitchen and she’s already covered the fridge with magnets and pictures and paper clippings featuring…. herself. like, a few of them had her friends, but most of the pictures were of her. basically. am i crazy or is that fucking weird? so from the get-go she just seemed……. if not privileged (which i also knew she was later), then definitely some sort of weird type of entitled but i couldn’t tell if it was maybe just cultural differences? (she was russian but had grown up in the states. idk)

anyway. she had this boyfriend who would come over occasionally, it was no problem since we didn’t talk and just waved hi to each other occasionally. but from the first week she and another housemate who lived on the far end of the apartment were both having trouble sleeping because someone else on the floor was blaring their tv loudly all hours of the night in the room next door. after several weeks of not being able to sleep through the night, they’d pretty much had enough and managed to track down whose apartment it was, and it turned out to be this elderly black woman’s apartment. i don’t really know if the woman understood why they were so upset because i think she might have been going slightly senile as well, so i think maybe the tv, or the volume, was something she wasn’t entirely aware she was doing? but the other housemate, i’ll call her veronica (who is more chill but was still upset) understood that this was probably not a fight they wanted to pick. veronica noticed that the elderly woman had a middle-aged male visitor, who looked like family, come visit the woman a few times a week and take care of her/take out the trash etc, so veronica decided to wait until she saw the visitor again to talk to him about lowering the volume or turning the tv off, or maybe getting his relative headphones or something. but emily, like….. kept pushing it every single night. every single night for the first month or so she’d stomp across the floor and rap on the door loud enough to wake up the entire floor (the walls were thin and it wasn’t a big building). and most of the time the woman didn’t respond, but there was one notable time someone else got fed up enough to wake up at 2am and yell at emily (deservedly so) for waking up the whole hall. all of which i heard very clearly because my room was next to the main door to out apt.

things escalated when i overheard emily talking to her friend on the phone about the situation and then she mentioned that in retaliation, she went over in the middle of the night and put vaseline on the woman’s door handle. i was kind of stunned and disgusted that a grown ass adult (she’s at least a few years older than me, i’d guess late 20′s/early 30′s?) would do something like that???? but anyway a few nights later iirc, once again in the middle of the night, i was woken up by a shouting match down the hall because apparently the male relative had come back to check in on who he said was his mother, and HE WAS PISSED, UNDERSTANDABLY SO, AT FINDING MY ROOMMATE IN THE MIDDLE OF PUTTING VASELINE ON THE FLOOR CREVICE UNDER THE DOOR. LIKE. THAT’S NOT JUST PETTY BUT REAL FUCKING DANGEROUS TO DO TO AN ELDERLY WOMAN. he basically shouted at her and she kept talking about how she can’t sleep for months because of the noise, and whatever, but she stomped back to our apartment and they had this argument loudly at the door (remember, my room was right next to the front door). i listened to it for a couple minutes wondering if she would like, acknowledge what she did was wrong? and it became clear that she was so focused on the noise she wasn’t listening to this dude, so i came out and i tried to be a voice of reason. the guy was understandably really pissed that she would do something like that and i apologized for her and said she was wrong to do that (she had stomped off back to her room meanwhile) and he seemed grateful to talk to someone who wasn’t batshit crazy in the meantime so he mentioned that he had grown up in this building all his life before moving out so it hurt to see someone treat his mother this way who had lived here for 50 years or something. and after that i was just thinking like, jesus, this is so not the kind of fight you want to have with a family like this as a white woman in a gentrified apartment complex. like at some point you need to realize this is not your fucking place and if you must settle things, do it civilly or just dip out entirely.

i think emily eventually apologized and he accepted and they found out that the tv wasn’t even coming from the woman’s room at all, but from someone on the floor above who THEY also had had problems with for months.

veronica was away on a trip i think during this climax, but before, while it was still escalating, i was talking with veronica and veronica mentioned she and emily had bitched about the noise to each other often, but veronica said she drew the line when emily basically started making her complaints race-themed ever since she found out the elderly woman was black. etc the complaints turned from “it’s too loud” to “this neighborhood is so ghetto” and “that’s what black ppl are like” and stuff like that. veronica wasn’t cool with that, so she planned on handling any other complaints herself directly so she could resolve things like a normal person, but ever since veronica mentioned that i knew emily was a pos

emily also complained about people partying/drinking on the street outside till ~11pm, which imo isn’t too unreasonable, like normal people do, and basically being too loud or whatever. on some level i get it cause she had to go to sleep early to go to work early, but also at some point i was just wondering how she functioned as a human being in the real world

ANYWAY THE STORY I TELL AT PARTIES IS THIS ONE, THE ONE IN WHICH SHE LEAVES (i will try to keep this as short as possible while still giving you all the details you need to understand just how fucking weird it was):

in early november, emily group messaged everyone asking if her boyfriend could come live with us. to her credit she said she wouldn’t do it unless everyone was ok, and she waited to hear back from all of us. i was out of town at the time but i remember being really put off by this idea and i was going to say no, when i noticed that my two other housemates had ALREADY said yes in the chat. just like that. i was stunned. what? like, no follow-up questions or “we dont even really know him” or “how is this gonna work”? were they fucking insane?

i messaged her privately saying i really wasn’t comfortable with it, for xyz reasons. among those being 1) rent, because nowhere did she offer to split the rent five ways instead of four (they were basically going to split her room between them, which, no). 2) fridge/living space, which was small enough with four people to one apartment as it is, and 3) just overall “i dont fucking know him” atmosphere. she messaged back saying she understood, and i got to asking why this was so important to her to do now, because she mentioned she wanted to do it “asap” if we’d said yes.

and this is where my “no” turned into “hell fucking no.” she told me this:

in response to my question of if she’d want to put him on the lease, she said no, she wouldn’t want her boyfriend on the lease in case “something happens so she could just tell him to leave” (raising my question: what, exactly, do you expect to happen? maybe the landlord, who lives in the building, finding out someone’s living here illegally? bc THAT WOULD DO IT FOR ME)

she was marrying him in december which is why she wanted it to happen “soon” so they wouldnt be living apart. i asked why she couldnt just wait until the lease was up to do all this, to which she said:

her boyfriend’s green card (he was russian) had expired so he was now paying month to month and that’s when i realized, oh. bitch he’s using you for a green card marriage and you’re trying to inconvenience all of us instead of owning your life like an adult, or something

at some point during the conversation she like tried to bribe me with a couple hundred extra dollars per month “to cover the cost of the extra utlities/wifi/inconvenience,” which i politely declined. this was when i said basically “look i never got the sense you particularly liked living here (massive understatement) and i think that it’d work out best if you moved out, which you’re clearly already planning to do”

and she did start looking immediately. at some point while she was looking i overheard her talking to veronica mentioning that he was a huge fan of putin and she’d asked him to like, politely, stop?, lmao because she didn’t like his entire yknow politics, and he basically said “i’m sorry, i can’t betray my personal/national identity, i just really believe in putin” or whatever the fuck and i thought to myself, this bitch is marrying him anyway for some godforsaken reason

i don’t know why i hoped that she would be any more considerate moving out than when she moved in, but somehow i was still surprised when the sublet she picked out was someone she never introduced us to or mentioned before, she literally just said “hey here’s your new housemate and when she’s moving in” and dropped us a phone number and facebook page.

one last thing: while emily was moving out, veronica mentioned to me that she was really pleased i stood up to her because she felt massively uncomfortable with the situation too. i asked why she didn’t say something, and she said she talked to emily privately airing out her problems, and emily had managed to talk her into accepting that sort-of bribe privately off message, and emily told her ‘just say yes’ in the chat, so she did and was kind of kicking herself for it after. (our other housemate was off doing fuck knows what at this point; she was gone for weeks on end leaving us to take care of her guinea pigs for her with little to no warning.)

but then, veronica says, the big thing that astounds her is that this wasn’t even the same boyfriend who she’d had when she’d moved in. six months had passed by this point. SHE HAD BEEN DATING GREEN CARD GUY FOR LIKE, THREE MONTHS WHEN SHE DROPPED THIS ON US

and then she moved to fucking harlem, one of the yknow most diverse neighborhoods in the city known particularly for its black heritage, so i guess have fun honey

(her replacement somehow turned out to be just as bad as she was, so you can imagine why i was eager for my lease to end in may)

[lovely-bangtan7]

The Little Mermaid And Her Human Prince | 8

Pairings: Taehyung x reader

Genre: Mermaid!au; angst, fantasy, fairy tale

Words: 2,2k

Warnings: Mentions of sickness/illness, someone falling down

Summary: Your father, the king of the merfolk, has forbid you to come in contact with the humans. But as you see a ship with humans in need of help, you forget his rule and try to help. Unfortunately, you put yourself in danger and got saved by a beautiful human boy. Since the moment you lied your eyes on him, things have changed.

A/N: Hi! Finally after, I guess 4 weeks, a new chapter! I am so sorry that it took so long but writers block is a bitch and I visited my family in Poland for 2 weeks. I hope that you will still read the new update, eventhough I let you wait for so long.. I also hope that you can enjoy it. Maybe I kind of rushed the things in that chapter, but it’s because of the writers block and that the series might end soon ( idk how many chapters will follow, but the end is very near (sounds weird tho sorry)). So have fun my dears <3

<< Previous Chapter | Chapter 8 | Masterlist 

“When will this girl finally leave?” Amanda said angrily, her dress moving with every move her body does. She was angry and jealous at your relationship with Taehyung. She didn't exactly knew why you were here, at her fiancé’s castle and she wanted you to disappear as soon as possible.

While Amanda ran around her room, screaming her frustration out, her brother Jimin laid on her bed listening to her complaining. “Come on, she isn't dangerous or anything like that!” He told her, even if he didn't believe his own words. Jungkook had told him how Taehyung looked at you and how he treated you. It was clear to everyone, even Amanda and Jimin that Taehyung was in love with you.

“Have you seen how he looks at her?!” She gasped to Jimin who was just rollhis eyes. “That girl, whoever she is and where ever she comes from is in my way!”

“You are overreacting.” Jimin commented more to himself than to his sister, he didn’t bother to listen to her complaints anymore, he started to be sick of his own sister, who always wants her way. “Well, excuse me, I got to go dear sister. I will leave you and your conclusions alone.”

Amanda grunted at her brother, who was now leaving her room, but before he left it she added something, making Jimin turn around on his heel to face his sister.

“I am going to get rid of her on my own then.”

“What the hell are you doing now?!” He asked her, watching her laughing.

The castle started to fill with many guests for the King’s birthday. Many other Kings and Queens from other kingdoms visit the king to celebrate his birthday. It was already evening and the sun set down, letting the many stars dance on the sky and the moon shine so bright in all it’s glory. The castle looked magnificent in the moonlight, the many lights that came from inside made it look even more beautiful.

You were standing in your open window in your room, watching as more and more people came. You were already wearing a beautiful gown, that fit your figure. The long skirt decorated with many flower patterns, you loved it the moment Patricia showed you the dress. She told you that Taehyung ordered a dressmaker to make a dress especially for you.

Your hair was falling down on your shoulders in soft curls.

When you were ready you entered the dance hall, where you saw Jungkook and Jimin dancing the other day. The room was now filled with many people, wearing beautiful clothes, it was warm and it smelled like food, it reminded you of Jin’s kitchen.

You felt the people staring at you, so many unfamiliar faces were in front of you, watching you as you searched for someone you knew. But in all these strange faces was no one you knew. Regrets started to flood your mind as you scanned the room, maybe you shouldn’t have come and stayed in your room? But finally you found a pair of eyes that you actually knew, you felt happy too see her until you realised that Amanda’s eyes watched you with hate and anger. Until now you couldn’t understand whenever you met her, her face was filled with anger?

It felt like a sting in your heart by the thought that you might be alone for tonight in between of so many unknown people. You couldn’t find Namjoon, Jin or Jungkook and neither Taehyung.

You were about to turn around and eventually leave, but a voice stopped you.                  “Y/n! There you are, I waited for you!” Taehyung said with a bright smile, he looks at you up and down and is mesmerized. Taehyung took your hand in his and spinned you around, your dress swirling with you. “You look beautiful…” You smiled at his comment, indeed you felt beautiful in that dress. “Do you want to dance with me?” Taehyung asked you with a hushed voice. You weren’t sure if you should take his offer to dance with him, you didn’t felt comfortable to dance in front of so many people, especially when you learned it only a few days ago. But as you looked him in the eyes, all that didn’t matter anymore.

“Sure.” You answered him and his smile grew even more bright. He took you to the middle of the room, where the guests let a free space for others to dance. Music started to play in the background and you saw how the people circled you and Taehyung and finally you saw some friends of yours. Namjoon, Jimin and Jungkook were also standing at the side, with Taehyung and Jungkook’s father. Your three friends were sending you encouraging smiles and Taehyung’s father wore a proud smile.

Taehyung put his hand on your small back, while he held one of your hand. As soon as the Music started to get louder, you and Taehyung started to dance.

Your long dress dances over the ground as you dance with Taehyung. Your dancing wasn’t perfect, but the moment was. You tried to concentrate on the man who was staring down at you, his eyes filled with so much love. The people around you, your family and Hobi long forgotten. In that moment you had your eyes only for Taehyung.

Everything was perfect until your legs gave up and an unbearable pain shot through your body. You tried to hold on Taehyung, but the pain paralyzed your body and you fell to the ground.

“Y/n? Y/n?!” Taehyung didn’t understood what happened. His face fell in pure horror, from one second to the other his whole world fell apart. “Y/n...whats wrong?” He was unsure what he should do, he was just watching your face strained in pain he didn't noticed that Namjoon and Jungkook rushed to his side and tried to help you bring out of the room.

The guests started to whisper, which soon started to grow into talking. What was going on? Why did you stopped dancing? Why were you in pain?

The noise coming from the guests started to get loud and it hurt your ears, causing an immense pain in your head.

Namjoon and Jungkook brought you back in your room, Patricia and Jin also rushed into your room followed by a confused and sick worried Taehyung.

“What happened? What happened to her?” Patricia demanded an explanation from the boys, who just shrugged helplessly with their shoulders. The older woman shoved Namjoon and Jungkook away and sat down next to your laying figure on your bad. Sweat started to form on your forehead and your breathing was short. “She is burning hot, we need a doctor!”

Taehyung could only watch the scene from the back of the room, unable to move or say a word. Should he have gave you your stone when he found you on the beach? Are you sick because he was too selfish to let you go?

An hour after the doctor finished checking you up and with deep regret he doesn't know what causes your fever and your immense pain. By now every guest has left the castle and almost everyone that worked or lived in the castle was either in your room or standing in front of your room. Everyone was worried about you.

“All I can say is that she needs a lot of rest and that we can just hope for the best.” That is what the doctor said before he left and that’s when everyone else left you alone in your room, so that you could get some rest.

Taehyung couldn't stay any longer in your room, he started to feel guilty, seeing you in pain.

All you wanted is to help him and warn him, the day the sea witch attacked his ship, but now you ended up at the edge of death. Taehyung wanted to punch himself, because he was too selfish and hurt someone he loves so dearly. You and his mom were the only women in his life that he could live with all of his heart, but why is it that he always hurts them? He was standing on the balcony to get some fresh air and some time alone to reflect his past actions and what he should do now.

“Let her go…” said a voice behind him, he didn't notice that Namjoon has joined him on the balcony.

“What are you talking about?”

“You know, in all of these years of reading I once read about something that-” Namjoon hesitated for a second, before he started to speak again. “ I don't know how to explain, but y/n is in pain, because she wasn't home for a long time or in other words, she sick because she wasn't in her true form for a long time.”

Namjoon’s words confirmed Taehyungs thought, which he has feared for the past hour. It was his fault that you are in pain.

“You should let her go Taehyung or she will die here!” Namjoon said.

Taehyung was fighting with himself, more like his heart was fighting against him. He promised to help you go back to the ocean, but he fell so hard in live with you that he started to hop that you could stay by his side. Now you were lying here with high fever and pain. He felt bad and guilty, he was mentally punching himself that he didn't gave your stone back the day he had found it.

You can’t force love and sometimes you need to let the ones you love go, they can be happy again

“Okay.” He said, a knot already forming in his throat and his heart growing heavy. “I will let her go.”

Taehyung returned to your room, determined to give you your stone and tell you the story behind it, he wanted to be honest with you and tell you everything. Namjoon decided to let the two of you for that moment alone and went to the kitchen where Jin, Jimin and Jungkook were sitting and talking. All of them looked sad and the atmosphere there was thick. The king and Amanda weren't found anywhere, the boys guessed that they went to their rooms, but neither of them expected the next events. Taehyung came running into the kitchen, with wide eyes and short breathing. The words that came from the oldest prince shocked everyone.

“Y/n isn't in her room!”

“Honey, I am trying to help. Okay?” Said Amanda to your weak figure as she dragged you outside of the castle and went to the sea. “Some fresh air will make you feel better, believe me! I once had to fight with these symptoms too and fresh air helped me.”

You weren't sure why, but you had an odd feeling by her words, you kind of couldn't believe her.

“But the doctor-”

“Screw the doctor, honey. He is old and doesn't know what he is saying. Didn't you hear? He said that he doesn't know why you got sick. What kind of doctor said things like these and give up?” She chuckles and dragged you now quicker in the direction of the sea. “Come on, the air coming from the sea will help you.”

The two girls of you reached to the cliff where you saw Hobi days ago. The sea was dangerously rough and dark. Waves were crashing at the shores of the cliff, the water splashing on your face. It didn't felt good, it was really cold and you felt uncomfortable by it and all you wanted is to go back to the castle where it was safe for you. “Amanda, I don't think that this is a good idea. Let's go back please.”

“Go back, huh.” Amanda said standing behind you, dangerously near. “So you can run back into the arms of my dear fiancé, my soon-to-be husband?”

“What are you talking about?” Amanda started to be scary, her words were aroused with disgust and anger, what wrong with her and why did she bring you here?

“Of Course you don't know what I am talking about. How pathetic. You think that I don't notice that you are trying to steal him from me? Take my spot?” She said while slowly walking to you, in small steps, she stared you in your eyes, her sharp eyes digging in you own eyes. If looks could kill someone, you were sure that this look what have already ripped you in many parts. “Y/n, listen here. He is mine and you will never be able to take him away.”

Taehyung and his friends searched every spot in the castle. It shouldn't be hard to find a sick girl, who was barely able to walk on her own to find right?

“Have you searched outside?” Jungkook asked his older brother. Taehyung didn't think twice about that instead he ran outside as fast as he could. He wanted to find you as soon as possible and get you save, back in his arms. Without thinking he ran to the direction of the cliff that was near the castle and the second he got near it he could hear screams and the horrible sound of a body hitting the water, down the cliff.

[protecteugeneporter]

Incomparable {Christmas Fic} || Eugene x Reader

Summary: It’s Christmas time in Alexandria and the reader has managed to pull of a HUGE surprise gift for Eugene. He might just end up upstaging her though. FLUFF. JUST A LOT OF CHRISTMAS FLUFF. Also the reader in this is apparently Southern AF given her vernacular. That’s just the way it came out idk.

(Eugene making notes, it’s relevant. Thanks to joshmcdermittfans for the gif, posted through gif search hope that’s ok just hmu if it isn’t uwu) 

It took an apocalypse for you to really enjoy Christmas. That probably says something unfavorable about you...or maybe not. Maybe it means only that Christmas used to be a hectic time of year that stole everyone’s freewill and money and now, due to obviously very unfortunate circumstances, it’s become something more...human. It was awkward at first, attempting Christmas in this new world, in the wake of all the death and grief and fear, but being in the bosom of somewhere as safe and comfortable as Alexandria made it hard not to. 

Now, there are odd little traditions everyone follows that somewhat mimic how things were before. Some people have synthetic trees that were left behind in attics, but some make them out of their creativity and whatever is available; bottles or books stacked in a tree formation, tinsel stapled on to the walls, and so on. 

Gifts are no longer measured by material wealth but rather meaningfulness, usefulness. People gift others as they think will best suit them or make them happiest; a pocket knife, some bullets, maybe something handmade that means all the more for being so. Then there’s usually a meal at some point, a potluck, usually, that combines everyone’s talents and whatever they could scrape together, and then everyone gets drunk around the bonfire. Usually on Abraham’s homebrew. 

The world as a whole might be a fucking mess, but Christmas is something that can be enjoyed and savored now in a way it wasn’t before. It’s more authentic, more honest, less fake and forced. You’re not sure Eugene sees things this way, however. He’s participated the past couple of years without complaint or any noticeable hesitation, but as for whether or not he gets and enjoys the spirit of things the same way you do is a little bit hard to decipher.

You don’t badger him about it though. Having the person you love with you is all that really matters. What’s more, you’ve found him an amazing gift this year that you think might just turn him on to Christmas that much more. It was a helluva thing to keep hidden over the months of having it built, especially from someone as observant and quick as Eugene, but between yourself and friends, you all managed. Somehow. 

That, or Eugene was just being really gracious about pretending to be unawares. 

“I hope you didn’t think I’d forgotten you,” you say teasingly as you hold his hand and walk through the snow laden streets of Alexandria from the annual gift-exchange and potluck. “Your gift just...couldn’t have been transported, so I have to take you to it.” 

“Gracious of you, but also wholly unnecessary. I meant it when I said I don’t care for the holiday and I certainly don’t expect tribute paid.” 

You laugh. His way with words charmingly reflects his roundabout way of understanding things. 

“It’s not a paid tribute. We gift each other things to make each other happy. That’s it.” 

“Yes, that’s what I meant-”

“Oh, forget it, Eugene! I got you something and that’s all there is to it. It’s done.” 

You throw your hands over his eyes as you guide him into the empty building on 5th and Main (albeit somewhat awkwardly, he’s tall of course and it’s hard to reach that high up even on your tiptoes). 

“Okay, I’m gonna turn on the light. Keep your eyes closed! No peeking!” 

It’s very clear Eugene doesn’t get the appeal of this at all, but he’s keen to humor you and obediently does as he’s asked, keeping his eyes closed and drawn to the floor. 

“Alright, open them!!” 

You’re practically dancing in place to see his reaction- which, at the moment, can only be described as stunned disbelief. 

“I ask only because I can hardly believe what I’m clearly seeing right now- is this a fully functional research lab?” 

“Yes!!” you all but squeal. “I went entirely off the notes you’ve made about a potential research facility here, schmoozed a bit with Deanna, went on several hundred scavenging runs to various hospitals and labs in the area and-”

Eugene’s already gravitated to the pièce de résistance in the middle of the room.

“This is a genuine electron microscope...” he says in something of a daze, as he runs his fingers across its framework. 

“Yes! At least...I’m pretty sure. It was a bitch getting here, especially under your nose, not to mention setting it back up. Hopefully we did alright? I’m sure if there are any issues you can see to them-”

Eugene’s turned around to look at you now, confused, and you’re a bit put off that he isn’t as elated as you thought he might be.

“Well, it’s just-...you’ve talked about wanting to research the virus more,” You’re scrambling for an explanation because you can’t figure out why this hasn’t made him happy. “You’ve argued, rightfully so, that we should have a lab and research facility here...granted, it’s a bit of a humble start but everyone has to start somewhere, right?”

“You did all this...for me?” 

“Well...the good of the future of the community aside...yes. Selfishly, I admit, I did it to make you happy.”

Eugene’s looking down at the floor now, seemingly in an attempt to fight tears.

“No one’s ever-...” You can tell from the breaking in his voice that’s definitely what he’s doing. “Never. Nothing like this.” 

You sidle over and take him into your arms, which he accepts gratefully. You understand now these aren’t angry or even remotely unhappy tears, but that of someone so overwhelmed by this gesture that he doesn’t know what to do.

“I love you,” you assure him. “And you deserve to be happy. That’s all there is to it.”

“As do you,” he replies, pulling away slightly, enough to tilt your chin up to look at him. “And I don’t know how good of a job I do at keeping you content, but I’ll be damned if I don’t keep trying. I’d like to do so for whatever remains of our lives here.”

You smile up at him, though curiously as you feel he’s verging on something deeper than just the sentiment. 

“For full disclosure, this isn’t as remarkable, nor did it take nearly as much time and manpower to procure, but I hope the promise behind it provides something of a fitting reply to this gift that can’t ever be repaid.”

He’s reached into his inner shirt pocket for something and now he’s-...oh god, he’s getting on one knee and taking your hand into his own. You think you might hyperventilate. 

“Eugene...you had best be fixing to propose or I’m going to have to ask you to get right back up to standing this very minute, because I’m about to have a come apart-” 

“Well, I was, before you snatched the words straight out of my mouth-”

You gasp and throw a hand over your mouth in shame. “I’m sorry! I just had to be sure!!” 

“You’ve had your moment with this incomparable, life-altering gift. Kindly let me have mine, however small in comparison.”

You know its his stoic way of teasing, the closest Eugene will ever get to such a thing. Besides, he’s right. So, you shut up and wait impatiently for him to do the thing that you already have an answer to.

“I...had a speech, but all things considered, I think I’d be better off cutting to the chase. It comes down to this; will you be my wife?” 

Now you’re crying, and quite rightly so. 

“Yes. Of course. In a thousand lifetimes and timelines, yes. And only because I can tell you welded that ring long before you knew about this lab.”

“I would’ve done it a lot earlier, had I been certain you would’ve had me. I knew long before.”

You kiss him hard and long under the bright florescents of the research facility, with only the various flasks, beakers and microscopes as witness to your new engagement. Anything else would’ve been ill-fitting.