#idk any of the ‘singers’ nowadays I think they all suck

[emeraldbabygirl]

OLD COUNTRY SONGS MAKE ME WANT TO FALL IN LOVE AND BE IN LOVE!

[eligaxy]

Wind

☆ℜ𝔢𝔩𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔥𝔦𝔭 : Venti x gn!Reader

☆𝔚𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 : near death experience, you’re confused asf about everything, bad writing cause i suck, spoilers for the we will be reunited quest!! And also for venti’s backstory, venti is serious for once (yes it’s a legitimate warning🤚)

☆𝔊𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢 : Some angst, some fluff? Idk bye🤨

☆𝔖𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶 : "It's okay, it's over now" he kneeled to be at your level, his arms still wrapped around you, and you didn't have the energy to fight your urge of nuzzling into him. "I'll always be here for you, wherever there is wind, remember I'm here too. You only need to ask." (2.8k words)

♪𝔑𝔬𝔱𝔢𝔰 : i’m an idiot simp, i did this in one sitting and half asleep, english isnt my first language BLA BLA IM SORRY FOR MY POOR WRITING BUT HAVE THIS

basically you don’t know if you can trust venti or not, head says no, heart screams yes

Also, I was listening to stormterror’s lair ost while writing it, just because its fucking amazing, you might wanna listen to it too

I’m nervous to post this?/&:! This is the second fic i’ve ever finished in my whole life

i love venti and he’s hot in his god outfit i don’t make the rules

KAY ENJOY <3

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

Saying you were exhausted would have been an understatement. After reuniting with your sibling, you had been frantically searching for clues about khaenri'ah and ways to Inazuma. With no luck, you couldn't find any traces of Dainsleif or of your twin. The ruins had been sealed and you had no idea what happened to the inverted statue or the corpse you had found there. Desperately, you clung into every little information you had, you would have turned every rock on this archon damned continent if you had to, which is what led you into those ruins near Guilli plains.

Walking along the destroyed buildings your eyes caught sight of a dandelion and you froze. You missed them so much, why couldn't they go back home with you? All you ever wanted was to be by their side why, why were they running away from you?

You remembered your travels, the moments you shared together, their protectiveness over you, the fondness in their eyes when you smiled at them. You remember the times you got hurt and healed one another with your now missing powers. You remember sleeping by their side and being grateful to the universe to let you keep your ray of sunshine everywhere with you. How ironic.

What had they meant 'once you reach the end of your journey' ? What does that even mean? Stupid twin, if they knew you were here the whole time, why hadn't they come to you? Why were they always leaving just when they were within your grasp? Why? Did they know how much you missed them and how much your heart broke when you finally saw them? Did they?

You only realized you were crying when a small gust of wind had your wet cheek react to the cold, breaking your train of thought. Wind.

The wind is everywhere, you think, free as a bird, always accompanying every citizen of this world, never truly alone. With this in mind, you resumed your exploring, slower this time.

A sigh escaped your mouth. You didn't want to admit it, but the wind did comfort you a little. Almost as if he was here. God of freedom and of the breeze, he was more a singer than a protector and you couldn't bear to think about him. Was it true? What Dain said... Did he destroy this nation? Was he the cause of the scenery that still haunted your nightmares up until 500 years later? Your brain simply couldn't accept that Venti, your Venti, you catch yourself thinking, could have made such an act of wrath. He was the epitome of freedom, why would he take the very thing he based all of his existence on from mere mortals? Barbatos simply couldn't be afraid of being overpowered, he didn't even care about power. All he wanted was freedom and happiness for his people. Surley this couldn't be right?

But then again, who were you to deny the wipe out of an entire nation? The gods did it. They were afraid that Celestia would be overthrown by the pride of humankind, the destruction of khaenri'ah by divine beings was a fact. There was no misunderstanding about this. That was the one thing you were sure of. So why did you feel like crying even more now?

The mere thought of a gentle soul such as Venti committing innocent people to an eternity of suffering didn't sit right with you. Even when his dearest friend Dvalin had turned against him, he didn't try to stop him, didn't even ask the dragon to save him. He healed and helped him, gave him a choice.

'What is freedom if demanded of you by a god?' was the same person that asked this question the same one who committed mass murder? Genocide?

Did the little wine-lover bard you had grown fond of destroy all hopes and light your kin had?

You remember that night when he freed Stanley from his burden, freed his and his friends' spirits. You had marveled at his action, in that instant he was a god, and he definitely hadn't struck you as a murderer. You remember that look of silent pain and grief in his eyes when he sang the tales of the nameless bard he had taken the appearance of. You knew he trusted you enough to share his story, something so personal, you could almost feel the war that took down the tyrant of Mond. Oh how much you cherished that evening, treating him to some well deserved dandelion wine afterwards, his favorite, and asking him to sing you more about the time where was nothing but the spirit of a breeze.

Your heart broke a little, remembering his rosy cheeks and drunk smile, you wish you could talk to him, ask him what happened. What did he do, was he really as dangerous as you had been told? If so, then why did you feel so good around him? Why did you feel like you could give hi-

You stopped walking upon seeing a ruin guard up ahead in the distance. You're so stupid, you think. Feeling this way is not gonna get you anywhere, especially with how the bard had been missing for a few weeks now. Ever since you had last seen your sibling.

Where was he, where was he wandering off to? You walk towards the disabled ruin guard, not really paying any mind to it, still thinking about the god you longed to meet with. If you could see him, what would you even say? Would he even answer your questions? Why did your stomach feel so light and funny when you thought about seeing him, why aren't you angrier?

You're almost at the killing machine's level now, so lost in your thought you don't notice the five other similar robots hidden behind a wall next to it. You notice them only when it's too late and you've already turned them on while thinking about examining them and collecting their serial numbers. When you hear the familiar tick of the mechanism turning on, you internally panic and think about running away only to calm down moments later and think to yourself that you can simply beat it and take what you came here for. Even if you are emotionally and physically tired, you can manage, you think.

That was before hearing five other consecutive ticks right after it, and all around you.

Turning around, your gaze falls upon the small army of field tillers. Fuck.

Paimon wasn't with you today, you had asked for some time alone which she hesitantly accepted, so you couldn't ask her to go fetch help. You would have been worried if you had all your capacities but with the state you were in, you were wondering how you were going to survive this fight. You were alone, none of your companions with you, and deeply weakened by the busy day you had and the few hours of sleep you had managed to steal away from the night. Was it today you would meet your doom, with all your questions and uncertainties unanswered?

You tried your best to fight with the strength you had left, but quickly grew desperate after what felt like hours of efforts to swing your blade and being able to only take one monster down out of the six. It didn't help that you got injured along the way, their blows becoming harder and harder to dodge. After being thrown on the grown for the third time, you understood you had at least two broken ribs and that your shaking legs would soon fail you as well.

Fear crept upon you, you would die here today, alone. Alone. You couldn't talk to your sibling after all, couldn't understand. You didn't even get to talk to him one last time. Him... You would die without the knowledge of the truth about your bard. You would die alone. You didn't want that, you couldn't look death straight in the eye.

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

-

In Mondstadt, there was a musician, a weird singer everyone had heard about at least once. He lived off of his songs and was mostly known for having a great story-telling and being an alcoholic.

The number of people who knew the true nature of his identity were few and he was perfectly content with that. He didn't wish to be a god anymore, his gnosis had been taken away anyway and it's not like he had any power over the city of wind nowadays. Even if his people still worshipped him as Barbatos, it didn't sit right with him to be called a god anymore. It actually never did, he thinks to himself with a smile, he never really took any responsibilities that came with the divine title which is why he was so weak today. But it didn't matter to him, his smile turns into a soft giggle.

Sitting on a mill that was once born from his steps he looks fondly over the city he founded. Even if they were godless, the citizens were still thriving and free. He cared oh so very deeply about the place even if he rarely, if not never, showed the affection within his heart. He remembers the day he grew strong enough to dispel the storms over his actual Mondstadt, and made the weather gentle enough so that there was no need for fireplaces. Nowadays, he loves watching birds nest into the chimney tops and seeing them found their own home. It gave him a sense of belonging like no other, not above his people, but walking among them and watching them nest into this cocoon he created. He was proud of what happened to his land and would do it all over again if he had to.

Especially since it led to him meeting you. This thought doesn't catch him off guard, you often roamed around in his mind after all, and it's not like he didn't write at least three songs about you and your feat, your smile, your courage...

Ah there he goes again, rambling about you in a whisper. He turns around to the statue of him his people erected in his honor, chuckling at how they never made the connection with his signature braids. His, but not really his, since he had stolen this form from someone who was much more deserving of this power than him. Seeing his friend being honored with the statues of the seven around the land made him happy, he hoped that it was a good enough thank you gift in return for everything that the bard whom he couldn't even remember the name of anymore did for him.

Upon gazing at the statue, he remembered telling you of his long gone friend. It was the first time he had talked about him to someone else, he didn't even mention it to Venessa, she who made him believe in himself again. He could ask himself why, but he simply knew that you had something different, more than meets the eye. Perhaps it was because you weren't from Teyvat, or perhaps it was just you being as simple as your natural self but he was simply and utterly captivated by your being. You inspired him to no end, at first he thought it was because he had never met someone like you and he loved new things! But as time grew and he got to know you, he understood quickly the meaning and depth of his passions. He thought of it with a light chuckle, content with your presence alone. He really did need and want you around.

So why did he purposely avoid you like the plague?

The wind had brought to his ears that you had met with Dainsleif.

And your twin.

His first reaction was to search for you, talk to you, he wanted to be here to know what happened! You had searched so long, he couldn't contain himself, still listening to what the wind told him, he started running with excitement but... But wait, Dainsleif was... He told you what?

Oh.

So you heard about Khaenri'ah. He had stopped dead in his tracks and turned back, only sending a warm current of wind your way, hugging you from afar.

He wasn't ready to talk about this yet, not ready to face you and absolutely not ready to answer your questions. He was a coward, he thought, running away like that but what else could he do, really. It was only natural for him to be as uncatchable as air.

A sorry excuse to avoid the fact that even if his past had marvelous story like the one of the nameless bard, it also had its share of darkness, something he wasn't ready to dive back into. Especially not now when your arrival has been shaking this world up like it hasn't been since at least 500 years.

But oh, how he longed to see your face or to hear your voice. So he asked a breeze to report to him what you were up to, and where you were. Just in case! he tells himself, what if you needed help ehe? But he knows you're competent and you won't need the help of a weakling coward like him anytime soon. Or so he thought.

Because when the breeze only gives him a few words back, his blood runs cold.

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

-

As you murmured these words in your desperate state, not really for anyone but yourself as a last resort, a prayer of some sort, you tried to stand by leaning yourself on your sword and failing miserably. You didn't dare look up as you heard the loud footsteps of the metal giants coming your way. It was over, and you barely managed to accept it.

As you rested your forehead against the cold handle of your sword, you closed your eyes, tears starting to make their ways out of your closed eyelids. All you could feel was remorse.

A soft breeze moved your hair slightly and your chest felt like a black hole had taken place where your heart used to be, regretting to not have been able to meet him under the tree at Windrise one last time.

The breeze quickly grew stronger, until it felt unnatural and you looked up from the ground, only to close your eyes again immediately when you realized the wind was too powerful for you to keep them open. If you had struggled to see though, you would have been blinded by the white light that soon illuminated the whole ruins. You didn't have enough time to register the situation when you felt a hand being laid atop your shoulder, snaking around your collarbones and pulling you back into... nothing? Another arm circled your weak form and a voice you immediately recognized said

"I've dealt with things worse than you, now crumble."

You realized that if you couldn't feel a chest behind you while still being embraced by his arms, it was because he was floating above you, and not standing behind you. A look in his direction confirmed your suspicions but what stunned you wasn't the fact that he was flying, but the attire he wore. Barely covering his body, a white set made of materials that seemed like clouds and liquid gold contrasted perfectly with his regular green clothes. His hair was glowing green and his eyes that were focused on the ruin guards up ahead had a marvelous shine that you had never seen before. He had that same aura he did the night he freed Stanley, but there was also something different about the way his hands gripped you a little too tightly or the way his voice sounded.

"Venti.." You muttered his name, relief and affection flooding you all at once, in his presence you felt as if nothing bad could happen to you. How foolish could you be, just a few hours ago you were speculating wether or not he had wiped out an entire civilisation and now here you were, being saved by him and feeling safer than you had in months.

"Close your eyes, I don't want give you a headache" he said, slowly floating legs first towards the ground. His unusually serious voice surprised you (and him) but you did as he told you. Letting go of your sword and leaning back into him, you let him deal with the monsters ahead of you.

"It's okay, it's over now" he kneeled to be at your level, his arms still wrapped around you, and you didn't have the energy to fight your urge of nuzzling into him. "I'll always be here for you, wherever there is wind, remember I'm here too. You only need to ask."

Being protected by a god really didn't feel that bad. Especially when you were in love with said god.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

Thank you so much for reading whatever this is until the end :’)

Don’t hesitate to comment or reblog, tysm <3

Ps: venti loves u and so do i do pls take care of urself mwah

[theywontletmebeprincipal]

can you give me drowsy headcanons, ramble, or anything please, i am so deprived. do not be afraid to make it super long, the more the better, i just love drowsy chaperone and love to hear other people (plus you’re one of the only people i’ve seen who knows a lot abt it)

ASK AND YE SHALL RECIEVE

I’ll divide this into a few different parts, going from least to most excruciatingly sad :)

1. general headcanons

2. in canon things i noticed and think about daily

3. a full analysis of man in chair’s connections with the drowsy chaperone as an in universe show (trigger warning for abuse ment, alcoholism ment, suicide ment)

SECTION ONE: HEADCANONS

- okay the chaperone is trans I don’t make the rules

- also her name is ambrosia :) she forsook her last name :)

- she’s about 12 years older than janet and kinda hung with janet’s family after leaving her own for a while . essentially she’s a big sister to janet

- aldolpho has some lines where he asks if the bride is big and/or burly and while in canon this is supposed to show he’s kind of a womanizer I like to believe it’s because he was fully prepared to fight her if needed

- speaking of which Of Course janet is ripped she does gymnastics

- my batshit crazy headcanon for this show is that dee dee allen from the prom is a descendant of roman bartelli no I will not elaborate

- is aldolpho one of those bitches with pets that definitely shouldn’t be legal? yessir

- post show kitty becomes a star okay I just want her to be happy

- the “pastry chefs” do discover a love of baking post show and now run a shop along with performing in feldzeig’s follies which might maybe be a front for some crime too

- TRIX DROWSY AND ALDOLPHO WORLD TRAVELING POLYCULE CAUSING PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE

- underling’s name is james I will not elaborate on this either

- show never says what trix does so I’ve decided she’s an explorer. she charts maps and punches colonialists and drags her stupid friends along with her, the only bitch in the show with a braincell

- drowsy was a former vaudeville child star pre transition - she left the business but was a mentor to janet

- I do have a headcanon for mic’s name but in the spirit of every actor who’s ever played him I won’t fucking tell

SECTION TWO: SHIT I NOTICED

- robert refers to himself by full name a lot of the time which is v interesting given he’s named after the writer, bob martin (whose wife is also named janet van de graaf). the real bob martin is like five feet away at all times playing mic

- idk how to describe it but the dynamic kitty and feldzeig (VICTOR felgzeig. we have a name from one (1) line) have when talking to each other is so snappy and funny and good

- aldolpho’s lines in spanish are mostly romantic bullshit but his first one hints that he has/had a wife who, if we’re taking the translation literally, refused to touch him. yeah I’ll bring this up in analysis

- the “pastry chefs” provide liquor for the wedding even though it has absolutely no relevance to their mission of stopping it :)

- drowsy is like. SUPER endearing towards janet and despite her bad social skills it’s super clear she cares a lot about her

- robert speaks fluent french apparently

- everyone says “ew” after aldolpho reveals his affair with drowsy despite her being a certified milf

- the body language of drowsy in the end of the show where she takes mic’s hands and breaks the barrier between reality and fiction is just so good. she was iconic the whole show but I honestly think this final bit is what won beth leavel the Tony in the end

SECTION THREE: OH NO

before diving into the way the drowsy chaperone affects his character, we need to understand what exactly it’s playing off of. to fully understand mic’s attachment to the drowsy chaperone, we need to outline what led him to isolating himself and living in fiction to the extent that he does.

mic’s father left his family at an early age and his semi estranged alcoholic mother was the one who began his love for theatre. mic grew up in a broken household and eventually moved on to land in a one sided marriage, which lasted a few months until he slipped up and expressed his discomfort with the situation, after which he and his wife split. nowadays, he lives alone in his apartment surrounded by records he uses to escape to a better life - his favorite of which being the one his mother gave him, the drowsy chaperone.

symbolism in the drowsy chaperone regarding mic’s life can be split into two main categories - mommy issues and internalized homophobia. there isn’t nearly as much mom symbolism as there is the latter, so I’ll cover that first.

drowsy covers both bases, but she definitely has some undeniable mom symbolism going on. drowsy marries aldolpho and mom dreams of being swept off her feet by a latin lover, both feel they’ve wasted their chances at love, both drink to forget, etc. this is where the idea of the drowsy chaperone being mic’s ideal way for things to work out, a positive parallel, comes into play. given that we don’t hear too much about mic’s mom other than her connections to major life events and the record itself, we can assume they grew apart in one way or another. the key difference is that drowsy finds a happy relationship for herself and retains her bond with janet, unlike what we’re led to assume mom was like.

further elaborating on the drowsy chaperone representing mic’s ideal fantasy version of events is the wedding the drowsy chaperone’s plot centers around. here’s a list of the things that didn’t stop that damn wedding:

- a minister not showing up

- the groom cheating on the bride with the bride

- the bride having a complete mental breakdown

- indirect mafia interference

- direct mafia interference

on the flip side, what little mic says about his wedding indicates it sucked absolute ass. he spent the entire ceremony in internal distress as he went through with a life changing event he, at that point, knew at least a bit that he didn’t want. I think he also implies he had severe diarrhea on the wedding day? it gets worse when you realize mic’s relationship before the wedding wasn’t any good for him either - he was playing along the whole time because it would be cruel not to, right?

throughout the show, mic is pretty clearly shown as an extremely repressed gay man. there are five specific instances that point at romantic and/or sexual attraction to men directly and another moment outside of his commentary that pretty much confirms it if you look a little bit deeper. thus, here is what I propose - to mic, the drowsy chaperone’s wedding plot represents a world where he was able to ignore that part of himself and have a happy marriage with his wife despite all the overwhelming obstacles thrown at him. however, bits and pieces of that internalized homophobia manage to show themselves throughout the drowsy chaperone anyway despite its happy ending. here’s a rundown on a few significant instances:

- by the end of the show, the “pastry chefs”, who had literally been planning to kill feldzeig, have left their life of crime to perform with him. this symbolizes how in mic’s ideal world he would have been able to turn away from what he perceived at the time as living wrongly - his homosexuality

- at the same time, the “pastry chefs” have this line, spoken in regards to janet: “if she gets married and leaves the show... there ain’t no show.” this is a take on mic’s subconscious concern that he might lose himself if he goes on with his marriage pretending everything is alright - of course, as we already know, he doesn’t listen

- “cold feets” is a pretty obvious instance of mic’s hesitation

- aldolpho’s line in spanish regarding the wife who won’t touch him flips to reflect on mic’s treatment of his own ex wife - she was alien to him as a lover, just as aldolpho was to this woman

- janet recalls her meeting robert at a point in the show and states “we spooned, briefly, then he proposed.” though mic’s relationship pre marriage was much longer than that, it must have felt that way to him - just as quick and nonsensical as janet describes

- just as janet is caught in showbiz but has a toxic love for it, so does mic with his own repressed life

- janet has a line in “show off” that alludes to her experiencing harassment/assault: “I don’t wanna be cheered no more/ praised no more/ grabbed no more/ touched no more/ loved no more” , which I believe represents the way mic perceived his intimacy with his wife - labeled as love yet unenjoyable for him

- “I look into his eyes... I get all woozy. and that’s... love, isn’t it?” is another very clear nod to mic’s misconception of love based off the only thing he’s ever experienced, relationships with women he’s had to fake

- this is the part where I tell you the lyrics to toledo surprise are a metaphor for actively suppressing gay thoughts. I’ll just leave you with “if it tries to rise; don’t let it”. these lyrics are not comprehensive enough to make a dish - trust me, I have tried. it’s also notable that they serve a double entendre as instructions on how to beat the shit out of someone, but several lyrics are also directed towards the singer/audience. for example: “it’s a snap/ try it folks/ whip your whites/ split your yolks” is an easy metaphor for the unhealthy mental gymnastics required to repress oneself so wholeheartedly

it’s also worth noting the obvious just for the sake of it - mic copes with all this by isolating himself in a safe spot where he can use musicals to escape and live his ideal fantasy, even if it’s only for a short time. there are plenty of nods to this throughout the drowsy chaperone as well. in “as we stumble along” drowsy notes that “the best that we can do is hope a bluebird/ will sing a song/ as we stumble along” - to mic, musicals are his bluebird. while mic mostly indulges in these fantasies, he knows to a certain extent the sheer amount of time he’s spending in them is unhealthy. the first line of the show is “I hate theatre” and I think that to an extent? he does. obviously mic loves theatre as a concept, that can’t be denied. what he hates is the way he’s allowed it to confine him.

with all that out of the way, let’s move on to the most important moment of the show. if you’ve ever seen the show, you’ll know exactly which scene I’m talking about immediately. I’m referring to, of course, the infamous “l-ve while you can” scene. as janet stands at the alter she asks drowsy for one final word of advice, which is partially obscured by aldolpho dropping his cane. “l-ve while you can.” it’s a simple moment, but mic reveals to us that he’s been agonizing over it for years - did drowsy say “live” or “leave”? it occurs to everyone eventually, whether a couple days after the show like with me, or years after like with bob martin’s replacement on broadway that the most likely answer is that she had said “love while you can”. it’s this moment, when you realize why mic had never seen that as an option, that the drowsy chaperone’s status as a musical within a comedy within a tragedy is solidified. mic had no love in his life - his parents hated each other and he was forcing himself into relationships in which he felt nothing. to him, living and leaving were options, but loving never was. so he locked himself away.

as the final note on the record is playing, all power in mic’s apartment shuts down and the fantasy is ruined. the superintendent arrives and further invades his space, breaking the private sanctity he had built up for so long. she fixes the power and before mic can stop it from happening, the final note of the record plays. and the super recognizes it as a musical. she makes a remark about how much her wife loves musicals and leaves, completely unaware of what she’s just done.

mic sits in silence for a while. and then he begins to sing. gradually, the cast members begin to echo their songs, dancing around him but never touching him. then drowsy appears and sings harmony to mic. and she takes his hands. the show ends with the entire cast, including mic, taking off on trix’s airplane as the curtain falls, drowsy handing mic his record as the plane takes off.

some people interpret the ending as mic committing suicide, finally deciding between live and leave. I don’t personally believe that and neither does writer and original mic bob martin, but it’s still a valid interpretation. the drowsy chaperone’s ending is ambiguous, yes, but not to that extent. no matter what you believe the ending means, it was brought on not by the interruption of the fantasy, but by whatever realization the super’s remark about her wife triggered. as I see it, there are two main options here.

option one - mic realizes he still has time to live and to love. when he was younger the prospect of living as himself was unthinkable to him, yet now he sees that while he was spending countless years alone the world grew. drowsy offers mic her hand, an invitation to finally become what he had admired in her - someone who isn’t anywhere near perfect, but is damn well trying and living life without regret. he accepts.

option two - mic realizes that while he spent years alone the world moved on without him and he’s isolated himself so much from social interaction that he’d no longer be able to make a meaningful connection with anyone outside. so he stays inside instead, never trying, always trapped between live and leave. drowsy offers mic her hand - at least he’ll have a tune to carry with him.

I really want to believe we got option one. I think option one is the intended, really, given mic ends the show with a joyful goodbye to the audience. but the way that the ending is still left open for interpretation makes it so that we can never really know - we as the audience only get to be privy to a small part of mic’s life, and we don’t get the answers we want because at the end of the day they’re irrelevant to us - all we can do is make our own choice.

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Cyprus brings shampoo to Rotterdam 2021

I FELL IN LOVE, I FELL IN LOVE, I GAVE MY HEART TO PRODUCT PLACEMENT.

Though I do see where they come from. Everyone from Panik Records, from her to Eleni Foureira featuring Perfectil on the “Fuego” MV, gonna need that sweet sweet money all of the time. But has Greece’s economy not really recovered for them to constantly need to advertise products on music videos or am I just losing my mind overthinking things?

Eitherway, this review may or may not appear before or during their rehearsal day, so see how do I make a fool of myself by trying to estimate Cyprus’s chances!

ARTIST & ENTRY INFO

This year we have a 26 year old Elena Tsagrinou from Greece here (the way they were last represented by a somewhat Cypriot on 2017?). She did music early on in her age, also participated in the Greek version of Got Talent. Though, before breaking out as a solo pop sensation in ways you cannot imagine, she used to be in a pop band OtherView. Strangely enough, I’ve heard of them because of this song below but I could’ve NEVER estimated it was her and never could have I predicted she would land herself a Eurovision entrance all alone:

The band has had quite a few successful enough singles with her, she did some music shows participation and hosting, her band switched labels midway through (guess into which one they eventually landed, hint: some of the screenshots in this review have this peculiar logo), and in 2018, she had to “withdraw” from the group to go ahead and pursue the aforementioned solo career, somewhat. She continued doing a lot of shows (particularly seen on the MAD music channel related events), and doesn’t have as many singles as she had with OtherView right now, but she’s possibly well on her way to blossom as an artiste. Some of those reading (lol who am I kidding who even reads these) may be familiar with this little song of hers:

You’ve heard way too many things about “El Diablo”, her 2021 entry, so idk if I feel like explaining the technical side of things all by myself or you already know everything. But in these reviews I repeat everyone else regardless, so let me just say that “El Diablo” is an obvious pop song, with a lot of Swedish related touches to it, because at least one person on this song also worked on Alvaro Estrella’s Melodifestivalen 2021 entry that glorifies at least a handful of the same cliches that “El Diablo” does lyrically. Dear Eurovision lyricists, you can use more foreign languages than Spanish for your obligatory foreign language incorporations, thanks~

Although I’m not sure about whether it is more Laurell Barker’s fault as much as it is Joker Thörnfeldt’s, but it’s easier to blame them equally, because the former probably came up with “ta-taco, tamale” and the latter couldn’t get enough of the word “mamacita” they used for the aforementioned Melodifestivalen entry. Anyway, the lyrics, from what I get, is that she’s in love with an eeeevil guy because he’s sweet talking her, they do some sexy stuff together (presumably), pour sauce on their bodies for no explicit reason other than “obligatory-foreign-reference-itis”, she’s breaking the rules (and idk if it was “mama-mamacita” telling her to do it), got the icy edges that the spicy is melting for her, throws eyelashes on the floor when she’s got no wigs to throw (but that doesn’t matter because even without a wig, she can flip her hair and make him look twice), and there’s as much as you need to know about the song’s lyrics as I feel like I should show to you, because eh. Eurovision has suffered from worse cookie-cutter lyricism through the years, “El Diablo” is painful but not the worst.

REVIEW

But I do like the song somewhat!

“El Diablo” was initially compared to Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance” upon release, and I totally kind of see why, because in all the right spots you can absolutely hum over the chorus to that over the one of “El Diablo”’s, it just exchanges gratuitous French translation of one of the already sung lines on the bridge for obligatory inserted Spanish terms just for the sake of being trendy with the crowds of the nowadays, because as we learned nothing these days, having a lot of Spanish in your song is apparently trendy. And Elena does nothing absolutely batshit insane on the music video (other than advertising) - no lapdance for the devil Lil Nas X style, no being forced into a bath, no person to sell her body to (not even the titular diablo), no dancers that rise out of their Christian sleep pods. Just Elena singing behind lots and lots of trash bin bag wrap.

Honestly the bigger issue for me than the song being “sAtAnIc because it is called “the DEVIL!!!”, aside from the lyrics, is that the MV does not come with any forewarning whatsoever for the people that are seizure prone when they see strobe lights? And that happens for some extended periods of this clip? I know you are indulged in your advertising and good for you but don’t just care for the companies that pay you if you use their products, do care about people’s wellbeings too, sometime.

But enough about the MV.

The song is decently sounding. It has interesting uses of what sounds like hi-hats during the verses (e.g.: a moment when this happens for the first time on the song is after Elena sings “tonight we’re gonna burn in a par-tY” the second time, and then there’s something that sounds soaring - that’s what I think that the hi-hats did.). It also has some sort of a synth piano on the second verse to boost the song’s sound rather than just relying on 808s and beats. I quite like how the chorus is so instant somehow, idk why but it is for me. Might have a gripe with that childish choir singing “I LOVE EL DIAB-LO” in the tune of standard kindergarten children teasing tune (aka ”NA NA NA BOO BOO”), as well as the constant breathing sounds, but they don’t distract me from generally “fucking” with this song, lol. It’s just that likeable imo.

I just can’t cope with the fact that Cyprus can’t seem to dare to go at least a little bit original with their song, yanno? Ever since 2019 they were called out as being a ripoff of something... hell, everyone since 2016 except Eleni was a ripoff of something. Alter Ego? “Somebody Told Me” by The Killers. Gravity? “Human” by Rag’n’Bone Man. Replay? “Fuego” itself. Running? “Lose Control”, Meduza x Becky Hill. Now we have a Lady Gaga song wannabe that even caught the attention of another singer that the music video looked like it was ripping off, and the Eurofandom caught up in hysterics:

Heads up, folks: not EVERY short haired blonde with messy hair, silvery tank top and shortpants that writhes on the floor is a Zara Larsson clone. And I don’t know who stirred controversy first - her or the fans - but this was ridiculous to see, even for me.

Although for a second I saw where they were coming from.

Now see why I want Cyprus to go original for at least once? Because I guess that the way “Fuego” was conjured up, it brought Cyprus so much success with how the package was, how Eleni sold it, and how the song sounded. You know the first thing of everything potentially going wrong for you later on is if you find the formula you’ve been looking for, but you proceed to be using the exact same formula that got you this far in the first place, without realizing what was it in the formula that you needed to bank on to further to make it click, but instead proceed to copy everything like it was an easy, fill-in-the-blank form. You can and should do better than that.

Though that doesn’t stop me from ranking it 11th this year.

Thing is, I really expected it to be the one female pop song of the year I would have the constant impulsive need to replay, replay, yeah. Ever since the chaotic entry MV drop that occured on some random-ass Cypriot TV show where three guys talked a lot (and before that, we got a cooking show), and kept growing increasingly agitated that no one is liking their show, until at some point one of them erupted in “IN TWU MEENETS... EL DIABLO... ON UR TEEVEE”; I was really devastated I couldn’t be able to break the replay button because of Panik Records deciding to rather benefit for themselves to have the MV on their app, then on Youtube, THEN on Spotify in that order. So I listened to a few video rips that I received / had for myself, and it was a fun time... until I realized the desire to play it declined much faster than I thought it would when it actually dropped on Spotify, oops. So I can’t really let myself rank it higher, when there are at least some catchier female bangers with better overall sound, better lyrics, and better multiple-replay factor. But I can’t really settle for a much lower rank for her than 11th, anyway. Girlbanger 2021 power y’all!

That and vocally she’s actually not that bad, even if she has shown up singing her song drunk in a handful of Instastories for some event of some party house, and at the time people overreacted, but I think that at least a large audience of those same people has collectively dropped their “Cyprus obvious NQ” talks come the pre-parties.

Panik Records, when will you put the yeehaw El Diablo on streaming? Now THAT’S a version that has replay value, and I might never get bored of it instead :(

Approval factor: Yeah, there exists some for me in it Follow-up factor: CyBC did one of the nastiest in terms of following up their 2020 arc of “Bring Your Artist Back for Revenge Year” that was 2021, straight up ditching Sandro probably right after Eurovision was done (well it doesn’t look like the case because CyBC published a statement later, but I sense that it might’ve been the case), because “Running” wasn’t doing so well with the “YAS QUEEN” branch of the Eurofandom. Which sucks because Sandro would’ve actually been down to be asked again for Eurovision, as he revealed it to NikkieTutorials during many of her interviews with last year’s class of. “Agreement from both parties” my ass, unless Sandro secretly realized that like Tom Leeb, he was too busy for 2021 Eurovision, which I doubt. It actually sucks imo that Sandro can probably be considered as even a forever non-returnee, because Sandro is more of German roots than Greek, and if we learned anything about the Mukuchyangate 2021, is that Germany will never send a returning artist, at least one that didn’t represent their country first and foremost. So Greece could only ask Sandro nicely only if the contest comes on to Germany, I guess? How do you think they decided on getting Stefania, who still ever so regularly appears on Dutch music, to represent them this year? So on that regard the follow-up from CyBC stinks, eventhough I think that entrywise the follow-up was rather decent, at least in the usual Cypriot way of sending female pop (going from “Replay” to “El Diablo” which I like more than “replay”), and eventhough I’m falling out of the hype for Cyprus I once used to have, their 2015-2021 entry streak had entries that I largely feel positive for overall, so in that regard, the follow up is decent. Qualification factor: In a year of Semi 1 Female Banger Slaughterhouse, Elena goes out in my eyes with several scratches, but not enough to completely kill her chances. If anything, given the divisiveness of Ireland’s rehearsals, Elena is likely to obliterate any last memory of Lesley Roy any first time viewer has ever had, except for her stage graphics. Even if Elena’s staging will not be as mindblowingly cartooney as the last, once a bop comes on, everyone forgets the slower song and gives into the bop, at least that’s how the draws work when choosing what insignificant song to put on 2nd and wedge in between the opening banger and some lesser-key banger, right? I know that “Replay” barely qualified, but I find “El Diablo” slightly better, and it all goes well, it will barely just as qualify as well. Because in a Semi 1 Female Banger Slaughterhouse, she can’t be the losing one, really.

INTERNAL CORNER

I already told everything that was noteworthy about Elena’s journey in previous sections, honestly.

• That I said that CyBC likely ditched Sandro right after cancellation just like Hooverphonic ditched “Release Me” should they have had a chance to keep or toss their entry. It doesn’t present itself as the case, but I just feel like it is.

• That the song was revealed on a Cypriot talkshow where three dudes were aware that we were waiting for “El Diablo”, trying to throw some gratuitous English our way, hating that we didn’t like our show, but promising that “El Diablo” MV will be shown in “TWU MEENETS”, which wasn’t but worth the wait eh?

• That people were cackling at Zara Larsson joining in the talks of Elena’s MV having aspects of her own song’s MV plagiarized.

• That Elena performed her song in a private-ish event when drunk and having heaps of fun and people cried that it was gonna be a NQ.

And do I really need to elaborate about the local Cypriot church scandal? It just so happened that a bunch of people read into a song’s title so much, thought it was rude of their country to sing about the devil (eventhough the bigger offenses made here is the gratuitous Spanish more than anything), and hoped that the broadcaster will disqualify the very song they okayed to be internally chosen because they are displeased with it - and if it’s not disqualified, they even threatened to burn the headquarters down. No, really. That’s like the most amusing part of that whole spectacle. Imagine burning a broadcaster headquarters down for a song... if I did it for every favourite of mine that lost to other broadcasters, the broadcasters would run out of locations to rent, because everything else good is pre-occupied or the ashes of their lost headquarters staring back at them.

Imagine being toxicly Christian in 2021... How long until Elena’s face gets photoshopped on the main protagoniste of The Unholy?

ANY LAST WORDS?

Even if I’m with this song, part of me kind of wants me to fail to make Cyprus realize that their formula is starting to wear thin and they got to be somewhat of a versatile nation in Eurovision if they want to be on the radar of not just one specific niche. But then again, they learned nothing when they flopped with Tamta, because she sneakily qualified as opposed to failing even harder than Tulia, ah well. Will they ever learn?

But why would I openly wish this to a top 11 song of mine, oh dear. Good luck Elena, may God be on your side, I guess. :P

[xbreezymeadowsx]

200 Questions

No one asked me to do it but I made @sharpiewashere do it so it’s only fair I suffer through, too.

200: My crush’s name is: Zach because husband but also... Tommy motherfuckin’ Flanagan

199: I was born in: New Hampshire

198: I am really: horny and annoyed

197: My cellphone company is: Verizon

196: My eye color is: Brown

195: My shoe size is: like 10.5W I think.

194: My ring size is: I think it’s a 9.

193: My height is: 5’ 3”

192: I am allergic to: cats and crop dust

191: My 1st car was: old ass shitty Jeep Grand Cherokee

190: My 1st job was: at a stand in a city mall where we had an inflatable slide and two bounces houses and served sno cones, smoothies, and novelty ice creams

189: Last book you read: Fangs by Sarah Andersen

188: My bed is: fuckin’ broken and uncomfortable and clearly not big enough for myself and my bedhog husband.

187: My pet: 1 old black cat.

186: My best friend: Yuki (that bitch is my best best best friend and I miss her to pieces)

185: My favorite shampoo is: Garnier Whole Blends: Honey Treasures

184: Xbox or ps3: Fuck both. Switch.

183: Piggy banks are: cute

182: In my pockets: nada at the moment

181: On my calendar: is scribbles from my kid

180: Marriage is: Don’t marry a redneck!

179: Spongebob can: stop. Give me the early Bob but that’s it.

178: My mom: loves Unicorns

177: The last three songs I bought were? Wap metal version, Room with a Zoo, Shoop

176: Last YouTube video watched: GabSmolders playing Control

175: How many cousins do you have? technically only 2 by blood and actual familial connections. 6 if you count some others. 9 if you count step-cousins.

174: Do you have any siblings? 1 big Seester!

173: Are your parents divorced? Yeah

172: Are you taller than your mom? Maybe? IDK, we’re both shorties

171: Do you play an instrument? sadly, no.

170: What did you do yesterday? Slept and worked

[ I Believe In ]

169: Love at first sight: yes

168: Luck: yes

167: Fate: yes

166: Yourself: HA, you’re funny.

165: Aliens: no

164: Heaven: these are...

163: Hell: ... kinda loaded...

162: God: ... questions

161: Horoscopes: maybe

160: Soul mates: yes

159: Ghosts: yes

158: Gay Marriage: yes

157: War: yes

156: Orbs: yes

155: Magic: yes

[ This or That ]

154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs

153: Drunk or High: unfortunately neither.

152: Phone or Online: online

151: Red heads or Black haired: black

150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunette

149: Hot or cold: cold

148: Summer or winter: winter

147: Autumn or Spring: autumn

146: Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate

145: Night or Day: night

144: Oranges or Apples: apples

143: Curly or Straight hair: straight

142: McDonalds or Burger King: McD’s outta these choices but I’d take Steak’N’Shake over either.

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk and Dark.

140: Mac or PC: PC

139: Flip flops or high heals: flip flops

138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Zach can be sweet (he certainly isn’t ugly to look at) and we’re definitely on the poor side.

137: Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi (anybody remember Pepsi Twist? That was the best!)

136: Hillary or Obama: Obama

135: Buried or cremated: Buried I guess. Though, if I’m cremated, my ashes need to be spread in one place and no separating them.

134: Singing or Dancing: singing

133: Coach or Chanel: I am a redneck, these things don’t mean anything to me.

132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who?

131: Small town or Big city: small town

130: Wal-Mart or Target: Either? I shop Wal-Mart all the time out of convenience but I do like Target

129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: I am overall not a fan of either barring a select couple movies (like Heavyweights and Little Nicky)

128: Manicure or Pedicure: no thanks.

127: East Coast or West Coast: east coast

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas

125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate

124: Disney or Six Flags: Can I go to a Zoo instead?

123: Yankees or Red Sox: I’ll say Sox because New England but I don’t particularly care for baseball.

[ Here’s What I Think About ]

122: War: there’s a time and place

121: George Bush: he’s an idiot?

120: Gay Marriage: yay!

119: The presidential election: tearing families apart because people are stupid and vote for Trump

118: Abortion: this is a bit of a grey area for me. While I firmly believe in “my body, my choice”, I do not accept that argument if you are constantly getting them as if it is a form of birth control. Use proper contraceptives you slut.

117: MySpace: does that even exist anymore?

116: Reality TV: certain ones can assume me.

115: Parents: love them even when you don’t like them.

114: Back stabbers: pussies.

113: Ebay: never used it

112: Facebook: is reserved for pictures of kids, pets, funny videos and memes, and gifs.

111: Work: shitty... literally

110: My Neighbors: I’m just glad they aren’t the cousin-fuckers or the Methicans anymore.

109: Gas Prices: it takes like 20 bucks to fill my tiny car gas tank so whatever.

108: Designer Clothes: never fit me

107: College: didn’t go.

106: Sports: HA. My fat ass play sports? Maybe Badminton or Tetherball but that’s it.

105: My family: lives too far away.

104: The future: needs to be better than now.

[ Last time I ]

103: Hugged someone: like 20 mins ago when my kid was trying to suck up to me to get a sip of my frappe.

102: Last time you ate: two hours ago.

101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: Zane’s first day of school this year. Miss Angie came over to see him off in the morning.

100: Cried in front of someone: probably a few weeks ago.

99: Went to a movie theater: Twilight Breaking Dawn pt 2.

98: Took a vacation: three years ago.

97: Swam in a pool: probably close to 8 or more years ago.

96: Changed a diaper: 4-5 yrs ago.

95: Got my nails done: professionally? never. By Zane? last weekend.

94: Went to a wedding: three years ago.

93: Broke a bone: never. dislocated shit though.

92: Got a piercing: over a decade

91: Broke the law: probably frequently without realizing it.

90: Texted: couple mins ago.

[ MISC ]

89: Who makes you laugh the most: oh I’m a funny bitch

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: nothing? fuck this house. fuck this town. fuck this state. I wanna go HOME home.

87: The last movie I saw: Smokin’ Aces 2

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: my nephew’s birth and the vacation we plan to take to see him!

85: The thing i’m not looking forward to: the travel for the vacation stated above.

84: People call me: a lot of things. most of them true.

83: The most difficult thing to do is: wake up

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope

81: My zodiac sign is: Taurus

80: The first person i talked to today was: my husband

79: First time you had a crush: I had a massive crush on Shawn Micheals as a kid.

78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: my Seester

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: probably someone in the Flanaclan Chapel

76: Right now I am talking to: the Flanaclan on and off

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: I’m supposed to grow up?

74: I have/will get a job: yes

73: Tomorrow: is Halloween

72: Today: I’m horny and annoyed

71: Next Summer: is a long time away

70: Next Weekend: work

69: I have these pets: already answered

68: The worst sound in the world: right now I’d have to say it’s Zane clucking his tongue.

67: The person that makes me cry the most is: myself? or more specifically my anxiety brain.

66: People that make you happy: my Flanaclan friends, my bff, my sister.

65: Last time I cried: a few weeks ago

64: My friends are: on the internet and/or mostly too far away

63: My computer is: a hunk of shit laptop

62: My School: never going ever again.

61: My Car: looks like the car emoji.

60: I lose all respect for people who: beat animals

59: The movie I cried at was: recently? Up

58: Your hair color is: brown

57: TV shows you watch: SOA, SVU, SWAT, wrestling, Wynonna Earp, Van Helsing, Supernatural

56: Favorite web site: tumblr and youtube

55: Your dream vacation: Scotland, Ireland, Wales, England, all that.

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: dislocating my knee

53: How do you like your steak cooked: med rare

52: My room is: some boring off-white

51: My favorite celebrity is: Tommy Flanagan

50: Where would you like to be: New Hampshire

49: Do you want children: I have 1 and that’s 1 too many.

48: Ever been in love: yup

47: Who’s your best friend: didn’t I already answer this?

46: More guy friends or girl friends: girls nowadays. guys around here suck.

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: reading Chibs fics, staring at Flanagan

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: Flanagan

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: hell no

42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: no

41: Have you pre-named your children: I did not.

40: Last person I got mad at: me

39: I would like to move to: for the millionth time, New Hampshire

38: I wish I was a professional: dog sitter/walker

[ My Favorites ]

37: Candy: Sour Patch Watermelons

36: Vehicle: 90′s Ford Ranger, Jeep Renegade, Jeep Wrangler, Jeep Gladiator, Ford Shelby GT350R 

35: President: certainly not the fuckin’ current one.

34: State visited: Massachusetts

33: Cellphone provider: Verizon

32: Athlete: Aleister Black, Drew McIntyre, Luchasaurus, Sonny Kiss (and fuck you if you try to tell me they aren’t athletes)

31: Actor: Tommy Flanagan

30: Actress: Millie Bobby Brown

29: Singer: Ville Valo

28: Band: HIM

27: Clothing store: don’t care.

26: Grocery store: don’t care.

25: TV show: Law & Order: SVU (as much as I’d love to say SOA, Law & Order was my first real love)

24: Movie: 10 Things I Hate About You

23: Website: tumblr, youtube

22: Animal: dogs, wolves

21: Theme park: Zoos

20: Holiday: Halloween

19: Sport to watch: professional wrestling, football, hockey

18: Sport to play: nothing that requires that much energy

17: Magazine: don’t read them much

16: Book: the House Of Night series and sequel series by P.C. Cast and Kristen Cast (I don’t care that I’m probably too old for them now, I love them)

15: Day of the week: Saturday

14: Beach: Hampton Beach, NH

13: Concert attended: 69 Eyes headlined (opening with Night Kills The Day, then Fair To Midland which were fine but also Wednesday 13!!!!!)

12: Thing to cook: fajitas

11: Food: apple fritters/apple cider donuts

10: Restaurant: Panda Express I suppose.

9: Radio station: WGFA

8: Yankee candle scent: Midsummers Night

7: Perfume: don’t wear perfume so much as body spray and it’s usually something like cucumber melon or some baked goods scent.

6: Flower: Tiger Lillies

5: Color: Green- specifically Forest/Hunter

4: Talk show host: idk I used to watch Maury all the time, does that count?

3: Comedian: George Carlin

2: Dog breed: Pittie mixes, mutts, labs, medium to big short haired breeds

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Yes I did.

[catboykishibe]

1-100

1. What is you middle name?

I don’t have a middle name actually 😌

2. How old are you?

I’m 20! But idk how to work tumblr anymore so my description still says I’m 19 skhdud

3. When is your birthday?

August 19th

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Leo uwu

5. What is your favorite color?

Pink!

6. What’s your lucky number?

I’m not sure

7. Do you have any pets?

No but I wish. My landlord doesn’t allow pets

8. Where are you from?

The U.S

9. How tall are you?

5'7"

10. What shoe size are you?

Probably like an 8-8.5

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Like 4

12. What was your last dream about?

I can’t remember but I’m pretty sure Jhin was trying to kill me like he usually does

13. What talents do you have?

My talents include remembering the most useless ass information, rambling, and being smart and a dumbass at the same time

14. Are you psychic in any way?

I seem to share a brain cell with you so I think that counts

15. Favorite song?

Truth Hurts by Lizzo and Ilomilo by Billie Eillish they both slap I have too many favorites so this is all I can muster before I lose my shit and pop off lmfao

16. Favorite movie?

Us (2019) oh! And Hereditary (2018)

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

I don’t wanna out myself but look at Swain ( don’t @ me or I’ll snap you in half like a pencil)

18. Do you want children?

Maybe. Probably

19. Do you want a church wedding?

Maybe?? I’m not very religious nowadays

20. Are you religious?

Kinda sorta?

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

I don’t think so

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

🤡

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

I met a bunch of League esports people like 4 years ago if that counts

24. Baths or showers?

Baths duh

25. What color socks are you wearing?

I’m not wearing socks rn :^)

26. Have you ever been famous?

Lmfao no

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

Honestly no. Shit seems awful

28. What type of music do you like?

That vaporwave shit really slaps

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Never

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

Only one

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

On my side and facing the wall

32. How big is your house?

It’s not super big, but it’s comfortable

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

I’ll have cereal or a breakfast burrito or sandwich

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

Does a nerf gun count?

35. Have you ever tried archery?

Yes! When I used to be in Girl scouts and we went camping I got to try it. The arrows weren’t real tho

36. Favorite clean word?

Frost it sounds pretty

37. Favorite swear word?

Fuck or bitch

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

Probably like 27 hours yeah it’s a really specific number but it was probably that much

39. Do you have any scars?

Yeah

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

LMAO NO

41. Are you a good liar?

Maybe? I don’t know

42. Are you a good judge of character?

I like to think I am

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

Maybe?

44. Do you have a strong accent?

I don’t think so

45. What is your favorite accent?

Nigerian accents are pretty tight but I also kinda like Russian accents too

46. What is your personality type?

Is this that myers-briggs shit? Cause I don’t know I’ve never taken it lol so just accept that i’m a nice gremlin

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

My “Let’s Summon Demons” Hoodie

48. Can you curl your tongue?

I can make a taco

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

Yes

50. Left or right handed?

Right handed

51. Are you scared of spiders?

Spiders are friends but they jumpscare me a lot

52. Favorite food?

I fucking love this chicken in chipotle sauce that my mom makes it’s so bomb

53. Favorite foreign food?

Uzbek Plov is so fucking good

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

I try to be clean but sometimes I become a lil messy

55. Most used phrased?

“You wanna catch these 10lbs of dick?” which i typically say when I’m about to 1v1 the fed assassin on the enemy team

56. Most used word?

Fuck or maybe Bitch I don’t know

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

It depends sometimes I can take 10 minutes and sometimes I can take an hour it’s all about the vibes of the day

58. Do you have much of an ego?

No? I have no fucking clue

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

I suck lollipops

60. Do you talk to yourself?

All the time

61. Do you sing to yourself?

Yeah!

62. Are you a good singer?

No but I don’t care because when I sing to myself I’m the only one hearing myself so it’s all good if I’m bad

63. Biggest Fear?

The ocean that shit’s scary

64. Are you a gossip?

Only when I’m with you sjhnfsjjshj

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

The Shape of Water (2017)

66. Do you like long or short hair?

Yes

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

Nah dog

68. Favorite school subject?

It’s a tie between art and history

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

Yes

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

Nah too scary. I also don’t know how to swim

71. What makes you nervous?

Literally everything

72. Are you scared of the dark?

No I like it well enough though

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

When I do I try to be really polite about it

74. Are you ticklish?

Very especially in my sides (don’t get any ideas or I’ll fold you like a chair)

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

I don’t think I have? Maybe?

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

Uhhhh brain-machine broke so I don’t remember if I have :/

77. Have you ever drank underage?

Ew no

78. Have you ever done drugs?

:^)

79. Who was your first real crush?

Some dude in my martial arts class

80. How many piercings do you have?

I have one on each ear uwu

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

Ye

82. How fast can you type?

Not very tbh like I can type at a good amount of speed but like I’ll have a fuckton of typos haha

83. How fast can you run?

Fast enough. Listen the only time I’ve been able to run really fast was when I ran a mile in 9 minutes and 50 seconds and I don’t care what anyone says that was cool as hell

84. What color is your hair?

Black. But I dyed it red last year

85. What color is your eyes?

Dark brown

86. What are you allergic to?

I don’t think I am, but who knows

87. Do you keep a journal?

I keep an art journal so ye

88. What do your parents do?

Both my parents work, but my mom is recooping from surgery right now

89. Do you like your age?

I suppose?

90. What makes you angry?

Probably some of the clowns I interact with when I play late night arams

91. Do you like your own name?

Yeah it’s aight

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

I have thought of baby names far too much and I have too many that I’ve consider but I can tell you those later haha

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

I want both

94. What are you strengths?

Something something stupid

95. What are your weaknesses?

Clownery, my friend I got it from you

96. How did you get your name?

Well my parents discussed many baby names ranging from Selma to some other shit and then they got my name and were like yeah that’s good and here we are

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

Probably not

98. Do you have any scars?

Yeah dude

99. Color of your bedspread?

A nice boysenberry color with a nice white pattern

100. Color of your room?

It’s supposed to be white

[yesthatdana]

About meeee

Tagged by @razzybean ! ; v; thank!!

Rules: answer 20 questions and tag 20 people you want to know better.

1. Nickname: As a kid my friends called me Dani (Day-nee) sometimes. My name is so short I never really had nicknames but nowadays I go by either Dana, Ru, or Dani (Danny) lol. My online handle was often Cheyanne in games so I got called 'Chey' a lot.

2. Zodiac Sign: I am a Pisces and a Horse! I just realized that makes me a Kelpie. WELP..,,

3. Hogwarts House: I think the app put me in Hufflepuff? Which is fair. I always wanted to be in Ravenclaw tho.

4. Height: 5'3"! I have always wished I was shorter tho

5. Last thing I googled: Mushroom floor stardew valley. I've been playing it recently

6. Favorite Musicians: Idk names of singers or bands. I don't tend to have favorites either. I guess one off the top of my head that I've never disliked the music of is Shoji Meguro

7. Song stuck in my head: Our different paths, a Mo Dao Zu Shi song

8. Followers: 257ish (I block all the bots I see but I might've missed some)

9. Following: 555 8)) I did not realize I followed so many people

10. Do you get asks: Nah. It is once in like 100 blue moons if I do.

11. Amount of Sleep: Ahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahafhfhls okay so I usually get between 5 and 7, but I would ideally like maybe closer to 9? I am tired regardless but I am REALLY not a morning person.

12. Lucky Number: I actually have a few! 1, 2, 3, and 10. I prefer evens to odds but my bday is 3/10 so.

13. What are you wearing: Whoops I'm in my relax at home clothes, so a really huge mountain dew t-shirt and black leggings w socks ofc (I'm cold rn man)

14. Dream Job: Being paid to improve my mental health? :( Tbh I don't have a dream job... Anything that doesn't involve talking to lots of people, including by email or phone, and pays enough for me to enjoy life would be nice.

15. Instruments: I learned to play the flute and piano as a kid but haven't played since. I suck at reading sheet music orz

16. Languages: Really only English in any way that matters. I can understand a ridiculous amount of Japanese by ear from all the subbed anime I have watched, I took a quarter of Spanish in high school, and I am learning a bit of French rn.

17. Favorite song: Can't say I have one. I hyper focus on songs kind of one at a time, then they go into the pile of "songs I like" for shuffle listening later.

18. Random Fact: I can ride a unicycle, which I learned to rise before a bike. My elementary gym teacher brought in his own unicycles for kids to use during recess and classes, I was on the school's unicycle team 😎

19. Aesthetic: Oh boy. I am all over the place. I personally like being really bright and cute and layers, but I also love punk and chains and stuff. Neon is awesome with black, and I love really light and flowy. Haha. I can't afford to nor have the energy to dress all these ways but I would like to.

20. Dream Trip: Well I wish I could stay at my family's childhood summer vacation house on a cliffside of an island... But they sold the house so it really is only a dream. Tbh I don't really like to travel so it's staycations or to a bunch of theme parks. I love roller coasters~

[stan-and-the-newbie]

A kpop newbie’s reaction to BLACKPINK

Alexa: bold Alex: italic

today you are reacting to... BlackPink!

o damn, are you sure this band isn’t your favourite?

pFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT-  ok, good one, anyway this is them :3

((she tried sending me a picture but it didn’t work))

awh come oN

~ technical difficulties, please stand by ~

dfgfd shhhHhhHhH i know wot im doin smdh. this is alreaDY GOING BADLY

...should i just google them?

its okay, i got it. this is them

o damn. they're very pretty, but that was to be expected

yep.. so what concept do you think they have? lol as if it isnt obvious

idk man three of them are giving me death glares. uhh black? and pink?

tbh,,,,,they have the girl crush concept, like, theyre all badass and stuff

oh, well that’s..  interesting

i cant believe im letting you edit this post..  anyway, opinion on them? they dont look that similar, thank god

well the red-haired one i like the most so far since she doesn't look like she wants to choke me (and not in the kinky way)

fgjgfghj yes i see

the one wearing the 2b outfit is probably your goth waifu

omf

and the pink(TM) one looks like she's the sugar mommy of the group

m o o d

i'm guessing she's the leader? it could just be the thanos throne

they dont really have a leader..  this is also them

ah, lovely, a picture where they don't look like they want to murder me

yes, finally

a bunch of talented asian cuties, wot is new

to be honesT. i'll start with the first one from the second picture

alrighty

her stage name is rose

the first two from left to right are the prettiest imo

o rlly

i'm gonna get lynched alive for saying that, aren’t i

so, opinion?

she's uhhh 23? and a singer, and she's the goofy one

well youre right about her being a singer..  shes 21, and yes, she is pretty goofy. she is fluent in english because she is australian

n i c e

this is her kickin everyone's ass 

((Then she showed me this video))

i-

skinny legend

and they said infinity war was the most ambitious crossover... asian idols wearing brazilian carnival outfits as some dude sings that song from shrek 2? sign me tf up

LMAOO gee her voice still gives me chills rose step on me

alexa that's lewd, let us move on swiftly

sorry i just like her shes also a good dancer

i'm guessing she's gonna be my favourite

o

english speaking idols get bonus points, and she seems to excel at everything else, so...

yes, she is amazing. oh, she also cried over her fish's death

;-; oof

:( bless her anyway, you have any questions?

nop, she's gucci, let us proceed

right, the next one is jisoo

she's a qt ;; she looks like a dork i want to shake her hand and give her a hug

this is her smiling

i-

see thats the heart smile

is she the radiance? because my retinas are burned

SDFGFDSADFG MOOD

literally no one is gonna get that joke

wat if they do?

then they are people of culture

opinion?

uhh, she is the soft one, and.. she's short because why not, and she's 22 and she sings ;; 

o- i mean, she isnt really tall, but she isnt that short. yes, she is a singer, the oldest, 23 y/o and she is a goofball, a derp. very entertaining tbh

she looks adorable and has a cute name and is a goofy dork god bless

all of them are good at english but her. but she Tries- and is confused.  

o o f

tis a baby

she deserves all the hugs

she isnt the best dancer, but shes a Great singer, and very stable on stage

their hair alexa their hair is so fucking aesthetic

i KnoW

i am in pain, pack your dictionary we're moving to korea

fuck yeaH the next one is lisa

abs of JUSTICE

hot diggidy she's the sass queen, and she's uh..  23, and a rapper

oh, this is also her

she is also 21, and yes, a rapper!! a very swaggy one

jackpot

but shes a whole cutie, and the youngest

awh ;;

and she gets embarrassed easily

i see, so she's the tsundere of the group

she is from thailand, and i think shes fluent in four languages, including english

nice, man

she is also an Amazing dancer

n i c e ,  m a n

shes kinda my wife but theyre all my bias so i cannot decide it is Too Hard

i only have one bias  u-u

ofc u do

remember to only have one waifu alexa, too many waifu will ruin your laifu

a baby

they’re all cuties this is fucking illegal

it  i s do you have any question about baby lalisa over there :(

so far this is a very solid kpop band

o

lots of english speakers, cute dorks and pure babies everywhere

;-; yes

it has my seal of approval

n i c e the last member is jennie

o damn. jennie? j-just jennie?

just jennie. she doesn’t need anything else

is that an ACDC shirt

apparently

why do they all look so good and fashionable, and both glamorous and cute and pure at the same time, alexa the space-time continuum shouldn't allow this

pffft opinion?

hmm.. she's both a rapper and a singer, and uhh..  she's the second sassiest, but also a goof, and she's 23. I'LL STICK WITH MY 23 also damn nice thighs

she does have amazing thighs tbh.. WAIT HOW DO YOU KNOW SHES ALSO A RAPPER AND A SINGER

well usually in smaller kpop bands one of them does the support for both singing and rap..r-right?

,,,,,,,,,now that you say it

it finally happened folks, i taught alexa something about kpop

badass

THEY'RE ALL SO PURE, FUCC

THEY ARE, they have the badass girl crush concept, BUT THEYRE ALL FUCKIN CUTIES IRL also, take this

my poor heart

jennie is so smol ;; jennie is the smolest

i'm sorry, i was distracted by the thicc

mood tbh she is also fluent in english lmao

pack your shiT ALEXA WE'RE GOING TO KOREA

y ES theyre all really cute and entertaining, they dont go over the top, but theyre still pretty funny - as funny as a girl group can be anyway

pfft i find all of them entertaining tbh. show me some songs fam 

o, alrighty. this is a dance practice, it was the first thing that was released and everyone went nuts

((Then she showed me the dance practice video))

lisa is the one with shorts, jennie has the cap, rose is the one with braids and the last one is jenniejisoo

oof, a bit too edgy for my taste, sorry. but the routine is great!

well, they were kinda made to be badass

yeah, i figured

also, a little side note

o?

their company is one of the biggest companies out there, but theyre known for their shitty management, as in, they dont really give idols many comebacks or promotions, so they dont have many songs;; even tho they debuted two years ago

well, that kinda sucks

yep..

i imagine this business is pretty finicky behind the scenes. i guess it can’t be all sugar and glitter all the time

true..  anyway, this is is one of the two songs in their debut ep lol 

((Then she showed me “Whistle”))

also, may i add, their mvs are hella aesthetic

they seem to be..  not a fan of the super edgy american-ish songs though

yeh, their second ep was better. this is from the second ep

((Then she showed me “Playing With Fire”))

pyromaniac title, piano in the first second. this one's gon' be gud

yeah, this one was definitely better - well, not objectively, just imo 

yeah then theres this beautiful beautiful song 

((Then she showed me “Stay”))

that title gives me the hibby jibbies

y e p p

nvm i saw a mcdonalds in the background and now i'm chuckling

sdfdsdfg honestly the mv is So Pretty

ALEXA I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR SAD TIMES

shhh its a nice lil song just dont read the lyrics lmao

...i'm reading the lyrics now I THOUGHT THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE A BADASS GROUP WHAT IS THIS

the chorus is so nice tho, with the claps

it is..  well, that was mildly depressing

at the end they hold hands and laugh and jump around in a circle in the mv and its just..  i rlly like the mv and the filter is very pretty

a e s t h e t i c

anyway, back to badass

((Then she showed me “Ddu-du Ddu-du”...?))

this is their most recent release, this time with a mini album

and i see thanos’s throne is back

y eS

these sets look expensive as fucc.. is that a fennec fox?

maybe..

and the evil parrot from rio? what is this, a crossover episode?

THE MOST AMBITIOUS CROSSOVER

first we had the shrek 2 song, now this they gon' hit me with dat turu turu du alexa halp meh  

i k r wat u gon do

is that.. a sparkly tank?

y ES jennie is an icon

i feel like i've ascended

tbh all these things were so unnecessary yet they did it anyway

well i certainly don’t regret it

that breakdown at the end is kinda cheap, but i think the diamond tank made up for it

definitely

sdfvbvGJHGthere are two mvs left

oh, just.. just two?

y es

i feel bad for them ;; did u say it's been two years

yeah..

this is so r00d

yes, always feel bad for yg artists

what’s yg?

its a company - their company

ah, i see

their shitty company

oof

here's their debut song (which i dont really like but Oh Well.)

((Then she showed me “Boombaya”..? who the hell comes up with these names?))

well, in all fairness if they're one of the biggest they probably have a lot of bands to manage

not really..  they had very successful bands though, so that kinda paved the way for the ones nowadays

ALEXA THESE FUCKING LYRICS ARE KILLING ME

ASDFGBFVDS MOOD CLICK CLACK BADDABING BADDABOOM QUEEN

"i'm so hot i need a fan i don't want a boy i need a man" BISH YOU'RE A 5 FOOT 20-SOMETHING ASIAN IDOL CHILL

hjkjhghj shhHHH

this is a whole drugtrip

it iS

are those..  black leather biker pants...  mixed with blue jeans? this is some next level shit alexa i can't handle this

y ES fashion icon

why do coke when you can watch this for free and legally?

ikr theres one last mv, and its better, trust me

..alright...

theyre cute in this one

((Then she showed me “As If It’s Your Last”))

jisoo is the one with the heart magnet and i love her

awh ;; man these titles are edgier than 13 year old me

oh come on, its a love song

that dancing, it's s-so lewd  <-<;;

it iS oh, i forgot lisa's rap is in english

n o i c e i didn't know jennie had her own ice cream business

girl is going places okay but 1:36

what about it?

th-the cotton candy part

pfff

sorry i remember the first time and saw it and was like fukc thas cute

well, it was. it was pure ;;

alright, final thoughts?

well, they're a bunch of cute and talented dorks, but that ain't nothing new. either way, 10/10 for the lewd dancing and the fact that they speak english. give dem more comebacks, fam

they have lewder choreos, but thats for another day. justice4blackpinkcomeback edition

yeS, let’s make a petition

Heya peeps, it’s a boii mod Alex here. This was the first time I put together a Reaction Wednesday post, so uh.. yeah...  I think it turned out pretty good! But seriously, a lot of work goes into these, even though it may not seem like it. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! See you next week!

[shrimpmsg]

✨get to know me tag✨

when is your birthday? 12 March

what is your favourite colour? I don't have a fave color. Nowadays, leaning towards green!

what is your lucky number? I don't think I have a lucky number 😶

do you have any pets? yes!

how tall are you? around 5' maybe, never really measured my height.

how many pairs of shoes do you own? a few pairs. I just wear same 2 pairs for every occasion 😅

favourite song? this

favourite movie? haven't watched a movie in a while. I like 3 idiots

what would be your ideal partner? someone who treats me as his equal. Someone with bts personalities combined lol

do you want children? not really

have you ever gotten in trouble with the law? No. I am a good civilian lol

what colour socks are you wearing? It's too hot to be wearing socks.

bath or shower? shower. Don't have a bathtub to enjoy bath

favourite type of music? these days I'm listening to indie music

how many pillows do you sleep with? 2

which position do you sleep in? fetal position

what don't you like when you're sleeping? people coming to my room and not closing the door!

what do you have for breakfast? tea and biscuit. Jerry, swari and gwaramari on special occasions. Yum Yum.

have you every tried archery? No. I suck at sports...saying from the few sports I have played.

favourite fruit? banana, papaya

favourite swear word? you'll hardly find me swearing in rl.

do you have any scars? maybe a few?

are you a good liar? depends. If it's lying for fun fun I can lie looking straight at the eyes...but if I'am guilty I have to lie, I just can't.

what's your personality type? INFP

what's your favourite type of girl? rebellious. i don't really understand the question.

left or right handed? right but i can somewhat write with my left too

favorite food? momo

are you clean or messy? in bwtween

favourite foreign food? korean, chinese, thai

how long does it take for you to get ready? not long maybe 15 minutes.

most used phrase? huh?!

are you a good singer? I think I am. I just sing to myself. Haven't ever sung for people so idk if I am good r not.

do you sing to yourself? yes haha

biggest fear? 'Dying without achieving anything' Mine too Anwesha!

do you like long or short hair? medium length

are you into gossip? somewhat.

extrovert or introvert? introvert

favourite school subject? used to be English lol coz it was the easiest subject to get high marks.

what makes you nervous? everything. living with anxiety is hard.

who was your first real crush? My bench partner in 7th grade, he was such a funny guy, used to make me laugh all the time. Can't believe he's married! Anyways, there was also this guy whose class was opposite mine and I would secretly steal glances during class. I think the crush was mutual haha

how many piercings do you have? 2. So, when we are around 5/6 months, it's mandatory in our culture to pierce our ears. So, that's the only piercing.

how fast can you run? I don't run

what makes you angry?

do you like your own name? I don't

what are your weaknesses? shy, reserved, trouble asking for help

what are your strengths? kindness

what is the colour of your bedspread? it's covered with brown roses

colour of your room? peach coloured

[winwiniswinning]

Boyfriend! Johnny

So I haven’t posted any writing in a while oops

And I do have a scenario in the works (GOT7′s Jinyoung) but I’m having a brain freeze with it right now. Like I know what’s going to happen next but I don’t know how to put it into words. It’s complicated

I still wanted to post something so I’m gonna do these boyfriend! things maybe? I know a lot of writers do them but they’re fun to read 

I was originally gonna try something new, like a babysitter! series but idk how it’d work lol

And I also wanna write for other groups too but I don’t know what to. Like I have lots of ideas for scenarios but I’m not sure if they’ll work out

Lol I’m a mess

Anyways, I’m sure y’all are so done with my talk so lets get started

So you met Johnny through an exchange program

Your university had a sister university in South Korea and you decided to take study there for the year

One of the classes you decided to take was photography cause you thought it’d be interesting and fun to do. Like a bit more lighthearted compared to other classes

When you get to class, you’re honestly just really nervous cause you don’t know how to interact with Korean people. You know that they’re just the same as other people, just they speak Korean but you just dunno

So you seat yourself close to the back where you’ve got a nice view of the front of the room and you’re not too far in the back but you’re not in the front as well. WHY DON’T I JUST SAY IT’S IN THE MIDDLE

Nobody approaches you and you’re just too worried about messing up when you speak Korean so you just listen to people’s convos and try to understand what they’re talking about

Cause damn do they talk fast

And Johnny comes walking in and you can just automatically feel his presence

Like the girls start to giggle and whisper to each other and the guys all come to greet him with fist bumps and pats on the back. 

You just know he’s one of those guys that everyone loves

And he sits right next to you. You’re just shooketh like whatttttt

“Hey, I’m Johnny! Are you an exchange student here? I heard that we were getting some exchange students in this class that speak English.” 

“Um, I... yeah.” You say sort of defeated cause dang you were gonna reply really fluently in Korean but you just forgot every word you’d learned. 

“It’s fine, you can speak English with me if you’re more comfortable with that. I’m from America.” 

And from then on, you and Johnny sort of just always chatted together. It turned out you guys also have a few other classes together

You’re really happy that you got to know him cause he really helps you with your Korean when you have trouble remembering grammar rules and stuff

After a few months, you guys are really tight

Like #friendshipgoals

Everyone thinks y’all are dating cause you hang out a ton and Johnny likes to make fun of your height difference by resting his arm on your head or just casually slinging his arm on your shoulders

Honestly, you’ve kind of gotten a crush on Johnny. He’s so funny, cute, and nice to everyone that you totally understand why all the guys and girls talk about him

But you try to not think too much about your crush on him cause you’re positive that he only sees you as a super close friend, like #bros4life or something like that

After a long time, you really can’t stand your crush on Johnny anymore

I mean, damn, this dude is hot but innocent and all that... he’s like irresistible

So you’re about to blow from keeping your crush on him secret and you make the big mistake about ranting all about it to Doyoung

Who automatically tells everyone after you finish ranting

And everyone’s plotting how to get y’all together cause they know that Johnny also secretly has a thing for you

They’ve seen the way that he looks so much happier when he’s sitting next to you, or how he slings his arm around you so much more nowadays and laughs so hard when he teases you

And you’re just oblivious to Johnny’s subtle (like literally almost not there, he’s just upping the skinship level the smallest bit) flirting so they decide to give y’all a little helping hand. 

One day, Doyoung slyly puts a note on your desk in one of your classes that you guys shared together that says, Can you meet me on the track at 1? - Johnny

Doyoung even freaking copied Johnny’s handwriting perfectly

And then Jaehyun did the same to Johnny, by copying your handwriting.

So the two of you are both confused as heck cause you’re close friends so why would you guys bother to set up a time and place to meet when you always see each other?

But you both meet on the track at 1 and you’re like,

“So, you had something to tell me?”

“No... You’re the one who asked for me to come to the track.”

“What.”

“What.”

And all the guys were hiding behind a bush, watching you two but Yuta couldn’t take it so he legit jumps out of the bushes

Y’all shook

The guys are shook

Yuta is shook by himself

And by then everyone else is like, fuck it, these two are way too oblivious about each other’s feelings to confess

And in the end, the guys are all like “Y/N likes you Johnny!” and “Johnny likes you Y/N!” 

“NOW GET TOGETHER.”

And after realizing that you both have feelings for each other, you just sort of become a couple. 

Okay, that a super long intro... sorry ‘bout that

So your relationship with Johnny would be really fun

You guys would definitely do some crazy things that Johnny has always wanted to do

Like skydiving

Now that was one crazy adventure

He’d also love to run around in the rain with you

Just because it’s random and fun and exciting

After you guys play in the rain, he’ll run a hot bath with rose petals and rose oil and maybe some Epsom salt just for you

And you’ll always pull him into the bath with you because you feel bad cause you’re sure he’ll catch a cold if he waits outside on the couch with a flimsy little towel wrapped around his shoulders

And it’ll be a really chill bath time

You guys are totally find with seeing each other naked

Although it was slightly awkward the first time you guys did it

“Um.”

“Do you want to take off your clothes first and then get into the bath and then I’ll come in and take off my clothes or...”

“Um.”

But after a few times, it becomes natural for you two

Johnny loves asking you to scrub his back 

And he’ll massage your shoulders, your neck, and whatever other tense muscles

It’s just a loving pamper time between the both of you

I think Johnny would be pretty big about skinship

You guys were already casual with skinship when you were friends anyways so he would get straight to holding hands with you

Honestly, he beamed when you made the move to hold hands instead of him for the first time

Backhugs would be a thing with you

Because of your size difference, he loves backhugs so he can rest his head on top of yours and trace circles on your hips lightly

And you’ll just lean back into him

PDA doesn’t go that far, only holding hands, backhugs, and pecks on the cheeks

He loves running his hands over your collarbone or tapping on your collarbone. For some reason, it calms him down. 

When you guys are on the couch watching TV or YouTube, he loves to lie down on top of your legs

And you’ll run your fingers through his hair and give him some soothing face massages

You’ll rub circles in his temples and between his eyebrows

Johnny relaxes so much when he’s in your arms

It’s like you just suck all the stress out of him

And if you have a book with you, you’ll read it out loud to him

But even if you don’t, you’ll make up a story or talk about some moments from your past upon his request

If you guys are on the couch and you aren’t in the position mentioned above, then you’re probably cuddling. 

Johnny’s couch cuddles with you are usually spooning

He’ll start by gently wrapping his arms around you before totally flopping the both of you on your sides so you’re both in a really comfortable cuddling position

Maybe kiss your ear a bit (he loves to kiss your ear)

And whisper weird puns in your ear

Sometimes tickle fights start

Just saying, you always win

When you’re really stressed out or crying, Johnny peppers your face with light gentle kisses to make you laugh

He’ll just cup your face in his hands and kiss everywhere

As I said before, your PDA really only includes backhugs, cheek kisses, and hand holding but when you two are alone, Johnny tends to like making out with you 

He’ll start slowly and passionate, where you can really feel his love for you seeping out of his lips... lmao that sounds weird but you get it, right?

If you guys are feeling it, he’ll turn it up a notch and start getting a bit aggressive and fast, which can lead to a bit of.. well ya know (I’m still smol)

Johnny is definitely a very proud boyfriend and loves to show you off since you can come off as a little shy in certain situations

“Isn’t Y/N so great?”

“If you’re already this impressed then you’ll probably faint later cause she isn’t even showing you all that she’s got. My girl is a special one for sure!”

“Johnny, stop you’re embarrassing me.”

“You don’t need to feel embarrassed! You’re amazing.” 

Followed by him ruffling your hair

Whenever you start to doubt yourself, whether it’s about your looks, your capability to do things, or just yourself in general, Johnny is always right in your corner

“You know Y/N, you’re so headstrong and that’s one of the reasons I love you so much. You’re absolutely capable of doing whatever you set your mind on and you should never forget that. I don’t care what other people think about you, because they don’t know you the same as I do. I know that you have one of the biggest hearts in the world, and in my eyes, you’re more beautiful than any of those photo shopped pictures of models, actors, and singers. You need to stop comparing yourself to others and see yourself in the same light that I see you in. Because Y/N, you spread so much light where ever you go and to me, you’re an absolute blessing.”

Damn, those are the words that I honestly wanna tell everyone... And the words that I want to believe but my low self confidence is like, naaaaa

Okay I’m actually feeling so emotional now from writing that paragraph

I need to get back onto the road of happy fluffy things

Like Johnny getting jellyyyy

I’m gonna warn you, Johnny will do a 180 from his usual playful self when he’s jealous

He’ll act overprotective and you’ll notice that he makes his posture better to look taller. As if he needs to look taller, the guy is a freaking tree or something.

When he notices someone hitting on you, he’ll act casual about it for a bit, just to see if the person will understand that you’re not interested in them.

If they’re still trying to get your attention, Johnny will protectively slide his arm around your waist and pull you roughly against him. Sometimes to the point where you end up stumbling into his chest.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Y/N’s more interested in me than you.” 

And he’ll lowkey give them a death glare before stalking off with you

“Johnny, don’t be so mean!” *smack on his chest*

“They were trying to hit on you, I was just being a man!”

“Ugh, whatever.”

“You know I love you right?” *peck on cheek*

“Yesssss.” *hug*

When Johnny gets upset about something, he’ll tend to stick to himself and you’ll have to let him spend some alone time to think

You’ll know that he wants some comfort from you if he comes out of his room 

He’ll probably want you to hold his hands in yours and look him in the eye and say that everything is fine

And when the two of you get in a fight, Johnny will be a bit stubborn about saying sorry

So he might give you the cold shoulder for bit but he’ll end up running back to you with a bouquet of flowers and a handwritten letter (if it was a big argument) or he’ll buy you your favorite food/candy (if it was a smaller argument)

Johnny would be big on calling you pet names

Not stuff like honey, sweetie, or stuff

But things like my queen (he once said that you reigned over his heart so princess wasn’t right), baby girl, my love (more when he’s teasing you)

For example: “Hellooooo mah love” or “Hey y’all, look! It’s my love!” *runs to you with his arms flailing everywhere* “MY LOVE!” *you run away cause he’s a total embarrassment” 

But basically you guys have a total fluffy relationship and he’s the most supportive person ever. He genuinely loves you and is always reminding you that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened in his life

Okay I gotta stop before I add Johnny on my could be bias list and make it even longer. 

Yes I have that sort of list

Cause I’m hopeless and can’t figure out which member is my bias

[cactbi]

1. What is you middle name?

Don’t have one lol

2. How old are you?

15!

3. When is your birthday?

Tomorrow!! 31st of July

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Leoooo

5. What is your favorite color?

Don’t have one but green is p nice c:

6. What’s your lucky number?

Don’t have one omg

7. Do you have any pets?

Yes a Bedlington Whippet called Nelly, but she’s more whippet than beddy!

8. Where are you from?

Englanddd

9. How tall are you?

Can’t remember tbh

10. What shoe size are you?

UK Size 2 which is a US size 4.5 apparently. I has tiny feet

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Dunno but I consistently wear 2-3 pairs

12. What was your last dream about?

Can’t fully remember since it was a few hours ago now but I know gold digger was playing and someone got me two newspapers because of the headlines loool

13. What talents do you have?

Don’t really have any! I can draw I guess c:

14. Are you psychic in any way?

Nope, who is?

15. Favorite song?

Don’t have one again! I like Finished Symphony by Hybrid because of the nostalgia

16. Favorite movie?

Don’t have one but I do like X-men Apocalypse and Deadpool (mutant theme going on there) 17. Who would be your ideal partner?

Idk 18. Do you want children?

It’s not a top priority of mine but maybe one day I’ll want em. For now, no 19. Do you want a church wedding?

Maybe?? The dresses are nice I guess 20. Are you religious?

Hell naw (lol) 21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Yep for a broken arm and a possible kidney infection that turned out to be NOTHING (well it was something but not hospital worthy) 22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

Nopeee 23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

Not that I can remember

24. Baths or showers?

Showers tyvm

25. What color socks are you wearing?

I am sockless.

26. Have you ever been famous?

Nope

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

Nah, I would like to be a small one. I’d have money but not that much fame y’know

28. What type of music do you like?

Basically most forms of electronic. I also like classical stuff lollll love me some strings with a beat

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Newp

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

Three - the two regular ones and a neck cushion because that can prop my head up a bit

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

Lying down. Idk, I don’t really pay attention. I guess maybe my side?????

32. How big is your house?

Not very, but it’s enough

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

Mini weetabix with chocolate chip

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

Nah

35. Have you ever tried archery?

Yep, I’m not very good but I managed to hit the target twice once I changed my eye.

36. Favorite clean word?

Soap

37. Favorite swear word?

I don’t really swear often oooops

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

Well I pulled an all nighter once or twice but I haven’t gone any longer than that because I like dreeeeaming!

39. Do you have any scars?

Nah, I had one on my thigh once when I fell on ice but that went after a few years because I was only about 9 so it was young skin!!

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

If I had then they did a good job since idk

41. Are you a good liar?

I probably would be but I don’t lieee, except the white lie about who ate the ice creams every now and again

42. Are you a good judge of character?

Yep! I’m drawn to people naturally who I will end up being friends with quite easily

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

I can try anything, doesn’t mean I’m good at em

44. Do you have a strong accent?

Idk? Probably, it’s quite the famous posh british accent

45. What is your favorite accent?

Love me a good Irish accent

46. What is your personality type?

INTP

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk

48. Can you curl your tongue?

Ya

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

Innie

50. Left or right handed?

Right

51. Are you scared of spiders?

As much as the next person really, I’d rather not hold them but I don’t scream at them

52. Favorite food?

I like burritos with chilli in them

53. Favorite foreign food?

Do burritos count

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

Bitta both, my room is pretty untidy but it doesn’t have dirt in or anything

55. Most used phrased?

lol

56. Most used word?

lol

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

Depends on how much time I have to spare, usually a quick brush of the hair is fine but sometimes I put on eyeliner and that can take a bit longer cos I don’t wanna mess it up

58. Do you have much of an ego?

I can put on a very good show of being egotistical but idk if it’s a mask or not!!

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

Both

60. Do you talk to yourself?

Eh, not really

61. Do you sing to yourself?

I sing but not to myself!

62. Are you a good singer?

Nah

63. Biggest Fear?

Microwaves. Tbh although they spook me I don’t know if there’s anything that makes me truly scared like spiders does for some people

64. Are you a gossip?

Nah

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

Idk

66. Do you like long or short hair?

Both can look really good c:

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

Nope

68. Favorite school subject?

I love computing sometimes, geography can be fun too

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

I would say introvert but I think I’m more leaning to ambivert nowadays. I like my alone time but talking is still fun!

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

No but I’d like to!

71. What makes you nervous?

Uh exam results day

72. Are you scared of the dark?

Once upon a time I was, not anymore!

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Sometimes? Other times I don’t want to be patronising so nah. Depends on the mistake I guess

74. Are you ticklish?

Yeah but I’m good at hiding it

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

Nah, I dunno what rumour I would even start!

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

Kind of?? I was head girl in primary school c::::

77. Have you ever drank underage?

Yeah but I don’t think I’ve ever gotten close to being drunk

78. Have you ever done drugs?

One time, I had calpol

79. Who was your first real crush?

Dunnoooo

80. How many piercings do you have?

None! Lol!

81. Can you roll your Rs?

Nah ripp

82. How fast can you type?

Fairly if I know what I’m about to write but I’ll do one of those typing tests and see. I got 50 wpm which is apparently fluent. I actually di 56 words but misspelled 6 words!

83. How fast can you run?

Average

84. What color is your hair?

Le blonde

85. What color are your eyes?

Bluey grey! Probably should just stick to blue tho

86. What are you allergic to?

Nought

87. Do you keep a journal?

Nah but I’m thinking of keeping a dream journal soon cos I wanna lucid dream again and haven’t for a while.

88. What do your parents do?

Mum works in a nursery and my Dad is an engineer for planes

89. Do you like your age?

I guess? Getting a lil scary now but it’s nbd yet

90. What makes you angry?

Boiiii idk

91. Do you like your own name?

Sure!

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

Not seriously, but when I was on gas and air I went all giggly and said I was gonna have twins who were ginger and their names would be Ruby and Scarlet loooool

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

Don’t mind, girl would be nice I s’pose

94. What are you strengths?

boi computers

95. What are your weaknesses?

I’m invincible

96. How did you get your name?

My parents liked it

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

Don’t know but probably not!!

98. Do you have any scars?

question 39

99. Color of your bedspread?

rn it’s white and purple

100. Color of your room?

2 white walls, 2 red walls

Other people do this, it’s now a tag game!!