#idk about No More lmao but i'll talk music!!

[cavejebus]

my adam playlist is about 20 songs now, so im gonna post it even though it is still a WORK IN PROGRESS!!!! ill add onto it when i wanna ofc, but i just wanna share a lil bit of my visionnn <3 expect a lot of linkin park lmao

some songs might not show up on the tumblr preview so i highly recommend going to the actual playlist if you have spotify!!

and batuta din moldova is there too cuz why not

below is a few categories and explanations for most songs!!!

ANGSTY SHIT

songs I thought either the lyrics or vibe had something to do with his angst... usually has to do with his background, during the trap, after the trap (whether he survived or not), or just headcanons :P

1. paper cuts - nirvana

"my whole existence is for your amusement", "why do they not try to escape?"

i THINK this song is about this dude who is like, in a really shitty kidnapping situation.... or something idk don't quote me on that :P it gives off the vibe of how it must've felt being in the bathroom all alone :( waiting for his boyfriend to save him :(

2. pictures of me - elliot smith

"you'll be the victim of your own dirty tricks", "i'm not surprised at all and really, why should i be?", "so sick and tired of all these pictures of me")

i like the whole pictures tie in.. the song isn't rlly about this, but some lyrics seem like how he would feel about being in a trap. like "I'm not surprised jigsaw chose me for this, my life is shit!!" ofc that would be if he knew who jigsaw was beforehand....... self deprecating shit yknow

3. given up - linkin park

"stuck in my head again//feels like i'll never leave this place//there's no escape", "thought i was focused, but I'm scared//i'm not prepared", "i hyperventilate//looking for help somehow, somewhere//and no one cares"

OK so first quote from this that I chose is like, how he sees his life as some useless "live to die" type thing, then the next quotes are how he realizes that he REALLY doesn't wanna die at the end of the trap. despite his whole "my life is shit I hate my job yadda yadda" talk, he still begs for his life once it's really in danger!!!

4. black heart - stone temple pilots w/ chester benningtion

"rescue me//(If you don't mind)"

lawrence......rescue this bitch....... ok but this song is mostly vibes, it can have angsty vibes :P

5. go with the flow - queens of the stone age

"she said, "i'll throw myself away//they're just photos after all", "i can't make you hang around//i can't wash you off my skin"

MORE PHOTO STUFF!!!!!! love it when it all ties in......... for the second quote its kind of a chainshipping thing... i cant make you hang around, adam goin "don't leave me!!!!" and i cant wash you off my skin, lawrence left his frickin bloody handprint on adams face.... oughh

6. and one - linkin park

"left all alone//far from my home//no one to hear me, to heal my ill heart", "it's too late to love me now//you don't even know me"

this song just generally gives angsty adam vibes, but the second quote is TOTALLY CHAINSHIPPING..... like they literally just met but already have such a connection since they went thru all that SHIT. but uh its too late for them to live a happy normal life together cuz lawrence never came back womp womp!! i can see adam sitting there waiting like "he don't even know me why tf would he come backk"

VIBES/STUFF HE'D LIKE

whether its based off of whatever tf he was listening to in his headphones that one time, or just based off of the time... i think his music taste would generally be pretty vast, while still staying around nu metal and alternative rock

1. one step closer, papercut, don't stay - linkin park

its 2001, hybrid theory has been release and is already fairly popular, i'd assume :P plus I think he'd favor linkin park since they've got a lot of complexity, as opposed to some mindless nu metal around that time

2. guns (are for pussies), down - 311

AGAIN with the rap x rock wtf!!!! he also like, cares about politics and probably trash talks all those gun loving dummies

3. brain stew - green day

who tf doesnt like this song... but it is about rotting in your room and he probably does that often <3

4. break stuff - limp bizkit

DO I HAVE TO SAY WHY I PUT THIS ONE???? ITS BREAK STUFF LIMP BIZKIT COME ON!!!!

5. the fear (flipped) - the shins

honestly have no idea why, but its giving adam!!! dunno what the song is about, but i glanced at the lyrics mentioned a bong and i was like "haha adam smokes weed"

6. tired of sex - weezer

he would like pinkerton, but i kinda only like this song off of it :P i don't listen to much weezer

7. blister in the sun, kiss off - violent femmes

i kinda just wanted to add in the acoustic sounding shit, but i do think adam would listen to violent femmes!! and you should too!!!

8. break it to me - muse

have y'all noticed that he kinda lied a lot during the trap? sure he isn't a good liar, but he seems like he's cool with lying for whatever reason... i just kinda picked this one cuz i needed to add some muse and the song kinda says shit about lying and stuff idk!!

CHAINSHIPPING SHIT

other than the angsty chainshipping in the "angsty shit" category, these just have cutesy lil lawrence x adam stuff <3 sorry to SHOVE chainshipping down your throat but whatever love is love

1. add it up - violent femmes

not specifying which lyric even though there IS one, i'm just embarrassed to say <3 but uh the only thing stopping them from making out sloppy style on top of john kramer was their chains :P

again, i WILL be adding more to this :3 but here's just my thoughts for now. im TOTES not just projecting my music taste onto adam hahahahhhhahahhahahhhaaa he's just so ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry if none of this makes sense!!!

[littlekingbergara]

Anyway no more about the situation what are your favorite albums of all time

super appreciate the plural bc i could nottt choose one. how about like ten. these are NOT in any order i just love them so much. also limiting myself to one per artist for your sake.

britney spears's ...baby one more time goddamn i LOVE this album. her voice is soo beautiful and the sound is the perfect late 90s/early 2000s bubblegum pop vibe mixed with some of the most heartfelt songs youve ever heard. gorgeous gorgeous record.

chappell roan's the rise and fall of a midwest princess... obviously. i really truly feel like this album will go down as one of the Greatest pop records in history and it's so deserved ALONG WITH chappell as one of the most iconic performers. like she Literally has everything. party bops and crazy heartbreaking ballads and it translates SO well to a live show. my next record purchase as soon as i can decide between the deluxe or regular and im leaning heavyyyy toward the deluxe.

the regrettes' further joy. i had this on repeat when it came out!!! no skips it's so boppy and fun and thoughtful dreamy... i love it. would give anything to hear it live again but my signed vinyl will have to do. this album is like the music version of this emoji 💖 im so serious.

the cab's symphony soldier. have you ever... listened to this album. for one it's beautiful and two it's SUCH a fun vibe you can't not sing and dance and have so much fun. also yes i'm a spn fan ok move on.

waterparks' fandom. uhh relevant djfhdjdh. but for real it's such a stark and strong commentary on what fandom Is and parasocial relationships and how it feels to be trapped in a box because your fanbase won't let you grow as an artist and what it is to be so accessible to the public to the point where you have no control over yourself or your image. i love her deeply she tickles my brain so nicely and makes me think.

fletcher's you ruined new york city for me. it's an ep ok maybe i'm cheating but she tells the story of a whole album. i listened to this when i got dumped in nyc 🤪 so dramatic lmao. but really it's such a vulnerable breakup album that does so much in five songs. mostly make me sad.

5sos's youngblood. yeah i'm here have you LISTENED to this album??? the SOUNDS on that thing!!! it's like just the right amount of poppy and grungy and mature like... they really did something there.

harry styles debut ... controversial? honestly my favorite harry album changes prob every other week but something about his self titled is really doing it for me right now. it's an incredible body of work that introduces us to Harry Styles himself outside of one direction. i'm begging for a rockier album in the future from him bc the tastes of it we get on this record show he would just nail it.

paramore's after laughter. i swear this album made me feel alive in a way i didn't know i could feel. it's such a departure from their past work but it's still so genuine and true and you can't tell whether you're happy or sad or both or neither it's just everything to a bitch like me who can't confront her emotions dead on. and so so pretty.

carly rae jepsen's emotion.. right? how could it not be. pop perfection and that's all there is to it. the first record i bought before i even had a turntable.

extremely honorable mention to 5sos's the feeling of falling upwards. i didnt officially include it bc it's a live album but i love it so much it's so beautiful.

[louismygf]

just recently watched this is us with my college friends

[seaofreverie]

The Me who bought tickets to see TMBG in february 2023 and the Me who's going to actually go to the show next month are two completely different people

[musical-chick-13]

(Mild DW Christmas 2023 Spoilers in tags)

[sincerelystesichorus]

let's talk about that one scene in oops

(and fizzarolli in general bc me and my autism r obsessed with this scene and haven't seen someone break it down. also ft. blitz lmao)

just a general scene and vague character breakdown/analysis!

i first of all want to admire the perfect representation of best friends to enemies with blitz & fizz because ugh.

And like Blitz tells everyone this but the way it's so malicious here. Just the perfect simple dig and Fizz's little shit eating grin because it delivered how he knew it would sdfkjsdkf. Shoves Blitz to the side because really that's all he cares to say. Fuck you and what you did to me, bye bye <3 Fizz is so for talking shit and dipping (House of Asmodeus) I love how messy it is but also shows how he really doesn't hold malice for Blitz otherwise. Obviously we see this front and center later in the episode once they start reconnecting, but I like the subtlety and how he's so willing to snap at Blitz despite his usual anxiety with confrontation.

Blitz also knowing exactly what to say to really piss Fizz off once things escalate <3

(Fizz literally so smug and content with himself lmfao)

(smirk wiped off bc hey that's the thing i'm sensitive about!!)

But Fizz keeps his composure. And if you'll let me be alarmingly gay for a second, I love how his version of keeping his cool as a messy gay is managing to basically recreate this drag race confrontation in what is probably my favorite set of Fizzie lines.

eat him up babes. also it's so important that that shitty coffee and fizz were on this side of the street for framing i'll talk about it more in a sec jfskjdfksf.

and now my personal favorite exchange of this entire scene that is criminally underrated imo:

love his face after this line. I SUPPORT DISABLED PEOPLES WRONGS sfjdlkfsdd. literally so fucking nasty with his clown wit but also so justifiable because yeah blitz did just pull this nightmare and dip in fizz's pov. i cannot wait for that to get touched on more likeeee why were they kept apart ugh.

and finally!!

this cut to blitz,, specifically the scarred side of his face is sooo good.

the face of a man who just achieved critical vicious mockery vs. the face of a man that knows he can only win this interaction one way now

Blitz does deserve a little violence maybe <3 Fizz underestimated his ass jjdkfsdlk.

Idk I just love how indicative this whole interaction is for their characters but especially Fizz, it's a perfect build-up for him. Fizz has major imposter syndrome with dual layers because of general haters but especially because of Mammon and Asmodeus. Not on any fault of Ozzie's,, we just see Fizz obviously thinks he isn't fully deserving of their relationship/his situation and the healthy dynamics of it and so do most major news outlets apparently askjfsk.

(full fizzy meme post & also i like how this is a special also like damn do u think they were also apart of the crossword??)

It'll be really interesting to see how his character develops in future episodes because I feel like a lot of what I've rambled about here has come to a resolution after 2 Minutes Notice in the musical special lmao. I really like how here when he goes to compose himself, this is how he does it.

Makes me wonder how many times him and Ozzie have had the self-worth and imposter syndrome conversation before it finally stuck in the Mammon Musical Special. I just love their relationship and how they compliment one another,, and how it projects into Fizz's other relationships because they're healthy for one another. Love my OTP love Blitz & especially love Fizzie. Obviously.

[stormblessed95]

Watching Are You Sure?! EP 4

A reminder of how I do these reaction posts as I watch things. I just write my reactions and thoughts down literally they happen. Think more of a bullet point format. I'll include links when I can to videos, thanks to the people who twt who upload clips. And at the end, I'll do a better wrap up of all my opinions. I hope everyone enjoyed the show so far!!

Jungkook calling Jimin Hyungnim was so cute. Followed by the exaggerated listening of instructions to loosen his shoulders lol. And they way Jimin is so fond of JK enjoying riding 🥰

Jimin comparing the moon to which moon phase it is on his back is amazing for me personally thanks

Wait! Pausing to go make myself some tea to drink with them while they have their meal at the Japanese restaurant! 🥰🥰

Jikook are muscle memory kinda touchy man

Tae annoying Jimin with all his headbanging and ending up with a sore neck that Jimin massages for him 🥰 lol why doesn't JKs neck also hurt? Apparently he has a thick neck 🤣

JK filming all their food again 🥺 and I Love his reactions to good food! Tae too. Lol I just know that chef loved having them there appreciating his food so much! I don't even like sushi and they made me believe I would enjoy it 🤣

And he did!

Tae asking why RM wasn't here and Jikook immediately being like excuse you, it's a show just for the two of us. We barely let you in here to guest star because you wanted to and we love you 🤣 Tae "I felt that, thank you" 🤣🤣

V calling Joonie to ask for him to send him come back to me, the song he sang at D day 🥺🥺🥺 and expressing his sincere appreciation for it and for RM. God, my emotions! Tae wanting to crawl inside Namjoons brain basically is so relatable.

Jimin's little smile when Tae played Alone saying he really liked it 🥺🥺 I LOVE hearing them talk music together. It's his favorite song off Face 🥺🥰

Tae saying it (Face/Alone) reminded him of when they (Vmin) talked in your (Jimins) hotel room. Just for Jimin to say that it was JKs room. This just also gives that little bit of confirmation that Jikook are constantly glued at the hip. Always together. Might as well just get them the one room anyway 😂

Jimin taking his shirt off when they get inside and JK immediately being unable to take his eyes off him no matter how hard he tried. 😂🤣 It would've looked less sus at this point to have just openly looked at him sweetie lol

Idk what Jimin's thoughts were when he first got in that pool with Jungkook, but he looked mischievous. Idk what he was going to pull, but it was something inappropriate. Lol the way JK immediately reminded him of the see through glass, "hey babe, the staff and cameras will see EVERYTHING you do next, underwater is NOT safe" and the way they both immediately whipped their heads over to look at it and nervously chuckled. Like kids who got caught with their hand in the cookie jar 😅😂🤣

The hand pushing game that competitive JK has never once "attacked" in when against Jimin. 😂

So so many cuts in the pool. Wonder how long they stayed in there playing 🥰

Jikook wanting to show off their underwater game to Tae lmao who is not interested 😂 Tae just wants to go to bed 😂🤣 not them just watching Tae get ready for bed like absolute creepers 🤣🤣

You are me, I am you underwater 😍😍😍

I'm pretty sure Jimin just propositioned Jungkook after swimming. Idk what he planned to do about it since they are sharing a bedroom with Tae lmfao but I'm fairly sure that's what he did. He was "really craving it" lmfao the way JK laughed and smacked him for the flirting too? 😅😂 The "you don't have to eat. I can it all" is giving "what? I can do it by myself, no worries" type of flirting teasing. If we are going to be continuing with the innuendos 😂😂

Jikook domestically sharing the bathroom. For their showers too? Lol idk. But the way they've got their suitcases spread open next to each other and just pulling from both too? So domestic.the way they sat on the little cushions before bed too leaned all into each other, watching JKs performance on his phone and talking about what he needs to do/film, etc. So fucking domestic

JK saying he hasn't slept at all since NY. Poor baby is so fucking busy. I'm also not saying he sleeps better with Jimin, but I'm also not not saying that

Tae took Jimin's bed (lol?) and Jikook just automatically running for JKs bed and flipping into it all cuddled up together? The only nighttime time lapse we've gotten so far. Lol when they have an additional person in the room anyway 😂 think Tae knew they'd enjoy sharing the bed anyway so felt safe taking Jimins? 😂 The way JK woke up briefly and turned to check on Jimin before moving to the 3rd bed to get snuggled under the covers. That was honestly so cute. Domesticcccc

So much has happened and I'm not even halfway through. Wtf

Tae's poor neck is still sore. Lmao baby you are getting older I guess. No excessive headbanging allowed anymore! Asking JK to massage it for him and JK taking care of it was soooo cute

Jungkookie's mom calling him and asking what was up and bringing up that he was with Jimin twice and confirming he (they?) were coming home for Chuseok 🥺 that was genuinely so cute and sweet

Tae offering to pluck Jimin's one long beard hair for him. Their cute sleepy faces 🥺

Tae offering and giving Jimin a massage while he sings Tae's Slow Dancing. They are so fucking cute I cannot handle myself. Vminkook massage train is something I need. Lol give it to me 😂

Jimin speeding up to pass taekook on their bikes and them both whipping their heads around to look and smile at him was so cute lol and the way they danced at lights too. Adorable. And taekook playing word games!!

The way JK surprised Jimin by hitting the table because he was so excited to eat the food! Lol

Tae just wanting to drop the knowledge that he knows Jimin super well because he knew he wouldn't want a soda while he ate 😂 I love him

JK once again filming his food and filming his Jimin

Jiminie needs a clip or mini ponytail lmfao he keeps holding his bangs back while trying to eat 😂

LOL THEY GOT HIM ONE! and it's adorable!! I wish they showed us whichever Noona came running over to pin his hair for him and the vminkook giggles I'm sure followed 😂🥰 maybe in the behinds lol

Tae calling Jimin Serendipity was 🥺😍🥺😍

Sometimes the giant ass bites they take of food worries me that they might choke 😅 maybe it's the mom in me lol

JK: "you're not a big eater"

JM: "no, I ate a lot. You just eat loads" lmfao

Jimin waxing poetic about Tan 🥺🥺🥺

JK saying that seeing Tan on Vs promos made him miss Bamie 😭🥺

I can't tell if Tae asking JK about paying and JK saying to wire him the money was a skit or not 🤣 probably because it felt like such a normal conversation if my friends and I went out to eat 😅😂 the giggles gave me skit vibes though lol

The cutest little cafe! And Jimins absolute excitement when he spots the cat inside! It's the cafe from Tae's selfies he posted with Jikook!

Vmin constantly with the romance skits lmao

Jikook with the strangers to lovers first time meet cute skits as always too lol

Who was Tae talking to about working out?? Lol

The extremely good looking server Tae skit 😍

The Vmin bickering followed by a cut of them sitting in their own seats and the editor caption of "we don't fight" lmfao show us the rest of their bickering editors!

Jimin saying to look at the pretty clouds and JK following that up with the incredibly cheesy flirty "you're prettier Jimin" and Jimin being so over his cheesiness was amazing. I loved it so much. JK can be such a flirt sometimes and it always flusters Jimin lmao

Vmin talking about how JK is so much stronger than they are. Tae saying that's true but he would never pretend to cower and Jimin saying he isn't pretending, he is just actually scared lmao

"Raggedy Jungkook is back" JK will never live that tan line down. Lol Jimin joining in and then making Tae join in too, he looked so unamused. Lol They are absolutely ridiculous 😂 JK out on so much sunscreen 😂 anytime be does anything ridiculous though it's so cute how he immediately looks for Jimins reaction, to make sure it made him laugh and smile 🥰

Poor Tae's neck is still hurting! I hope he feels better!

Poor JK, hitting his head on the boat and Jimins immediate CPR rescue lmfao!

Jimin's amazing jump and JKs perfect dive!

Tae also hitting his head on the boat! My poor babies lmao! I was going to say the boat needs a watch your head sign, but it has one 🤣

Mermaid Jimin 😍

JK swimming up to Jimin and holding onto him briefly and humming through his snorkel 🥰 the way that even playing in the ocean, they are basically stuck like glue to each other too. The arms around each other while swimming was so cute!

JK and Jimin sharing a bowl of Ramen! The way JK takes a bite, puts the rest of the noodles he bit off of back in the bowl and hands it off to Jimin. By far not the worst way they've shared food (hello lemon) lol but still!

Tae calling the captain over to help him reel the "big fish!" He caught in just for the captain to tell him it was a rock 🤣🤣 Watching the maknae line struggle to fish makes me miss Yoonjin! I need to see Jins reaction to this part of the episode actually lmfao

Not the drone sacrificing itself to the sea 🤣🤣 the confused crew and JKs shook face!!

Tae finally caught 2 fish!! Good job!!! The way he left JM and JK take pictures with his fish like they caught them too 🥺😍🥰

Watching the sunset, Jimin going "this is romantic" 🥺🥺🥺 followed promptly be him getting down to cuddle JK while he records the sunset is so fucking cute.

Jikook cloud watching! This is where they draw their whale cloud picture together 🤣😂 the giggles! They are so precious!!

Tae finally coming to join Jikook in laying down in the boat together (where was he?!) I just love seeing them be so at peace together 🥰🥰🥰 the amount of "I love this" that occured brings me SUCH happiness

Wrap up Thoughts:

A reminder, to also myself that this was filmed Sept 25 - 27th of 2023 and was Chuseok right after they landed 😊 where Tae posted his sunset photo from Jeju that he took while they were on this boat together!

Istg there were so many cuts. I feel like we barely ever got to even see a full conversation. I get that there is 24 hours basically of footage for one day that they trim to an hour of content, but I beg for some continuity. This is why people make analysis posts editors?! You give them too much wiggle room and never a consistent timeline!

Jikook had an extra domestic energy to them this episode, even with all the playing and giggling happening too. Idk what caused the energy shift, maybe just Jimin not feeling sick for once. And with the added bonus of knowing they made the choice to apply for the buddy system too.

They were so cuddly and sweet and observant to each other's ever need. Jimin loves him some biker JK too 😂 and God, JK just never stops calling Jimin pretty. I truly love that for them. So much

The energy with another member around really did just draw out how different Jikooks dynamic is with each other at times.

Say what you want, JKs call with his mother was the sweetest little interlude ever and it absolutely sounded like his mom was calling to confirm he was bringing his boyfriend home for the holiday. Lol I know Jimin went to see his parents too, but that's the energy that call gave! I can't help it!

This was their second trip to Jeju, since they went together in August too. And they flew back home and basically went straight to Busan together to visit their families for Chuseok. I'm so so glad they got to do all that together. I can't wait for the next episode to see how they end their Jeju vacation!

[bambi-kinos]

Would you like to answer a few questions about you opinions about Paul. Peoples read him very different and of course as a human he too has good and bad sides. What are the things that stands out to you the most: pros and cons besides being icon and music genius. Not from beatle historians or anyone else's opinions just your personal views? In the Beatles, pre and post Beatles. How do you view him today vs from decades ago? (Don't know how long you've been a fan) do you think he's mostly happy or sad in private. I'm asking you this because to me you seem like the one on line blogger that seem to "get him". Also would you say that you are attracted to him? Have you seen him live? What are you favourite songs by him both as a Beatle and beyond. I'm a super-Paul-stan fan and proud of it and nothing you say can change my own opinions of Paul but because nobody is perfect. Ok I'll let you go now.

Had to think about this one for a couple of weeks.

My opinion about Paul is that most of positive and negative feelings towards him are earned. He deserves the reverence but sometimes people take it too far like when his stepsister Ruth called him a god with feet of clay or whatever lmao. That kind of behavior is incredibly cringe and its very embarrassing that people can talk that way about Paul. But I think that he's busted his ass for over 60 years so truthfully he's earned the accolades and praise that he gets. There are some people that get really pissy and mad that he's revered so much and the only thing that we can say to them is "get a fucking life." Paul McCartney has been working his shapely ass off for decades to get where he is and is still slamming out music at in his fucking 80s. When you accomplish half as much as he has than you can think about whining that he's too revered and too worshipped.

On the other hand Paul has done a good job of earning all the negative emotions directed at him. He's egotistical and isn't graceful about wearing that praise. He tries to pretend he doesn't care but it's so transparent and see through that it's actively irritating, I think it's this more than anything that can get people to bitch. There is a phony veneer to Paul where he's clearly doing a bit of some sort and it's aggravating because it's not entirely clear what the bit actually is. Like all the posts making fun of him for pretending to be """normal""" are not coming out of no where, it's real aggravation that he's worked his whole life to get where he is and he tries to go "heehee I don't actually want it I'm just a guy like you <3~" like cmon dude really. For fuck's sake.

When it comes to Paul himself, my take on him, idk. I identify with Paul heavily. I like to think I'm more aggressive than he is but who actually fucking knows. I went through a life changing trauma at a similar age. (I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes when I was eleven years old which is the insulin dependent diabetes that you hear about a lot on social media. BTW if anyone else has diabetes type 1 or 2 I'm available to talk, my dad and my partner are both type 2 and I know a lot about both.) I can identify with how your life is heavily bifurcated between Before and After. I also identify with how Paul really struggles to come to grips with his family life, while it's clear Jim and Mary did love him a lot they also simply were not stellar parents and a lot of their success with Paul and Mike lies in the fact that they gave their sons a steady home life without chaotic disruptions more than that they navigated the trials of parenthood well. I identify with that as well because diabetes makes my life very chaotic, and my parents did work to smooth those things over; but on the other hand my folks also had nasty and ugly moments with me just like Jim did with Paul. So I know what its like to love your parent immensely and be loved by them and still have a deeply resentful and distrustful relationship with them. And I never had a John Lennon in the mix to disrupt things.

I think it left me and Paul in similar places though our birth order is reversed with him being the oldest and me being the youngest. I realized a long time ago that I was completely on my own in terms of my diabetes and the rest of my life (my mother made some treatment decisions about my diabetes that nearly killed me a few times before I took control of it completely.) A parent can love you immensely, try to do everything right, and still damage you profoundly. With Paul having to endure physical blows and attempted emotional manipulation from his father, I think he too realized that he was totally on his own and that Jim could not give Paul what he needed. That is why Paul has such a strong self preservation instinct and why he comes off as two faced and why MLH remarked that he did not want to be in a dark alley with Paul if Paul did not like him. I've had to do some nasty things for self preservation and I think Paul has had to do it too. Some of them we know about but the majority we never will.

I think that it's hard to be the first born or the last born kid. You get so much of your parents attention but they screw you up in so many ways. I know middle children tend to feel ignored but I'm going to tell you right now, you're being shielded from a lot because you're not getting the Eye of Morder trained on you. Maybe we should all be thankful for what we have, idk. I have a lot more in common with my oldest sister than any of my middle siblings.

Paul is ruthlessly out for himself. I think John dying actually changed that a bit, it made him somewhat less vindictive and he was more open to letting people in but he's never not going to protect himself first. Or else he wouldn't have married Nancy in the first place, Nancy's first cousin was Barbara Walters and through Nancy Paul has a direct line to the news media which means he has yet one more string of influence so that he can control his public image. Nancy and Paul like each other a lot and their relationship is sincere, but Paul also benefits greatly by it. Do you see how this goes with him lol, he can invest in sincere relationships (and to be clear he does love Nancy) while still benefitting from it materially and immaterially. Note that a lot of the negative stuff about Paul started fading out of the press after he married Nancy.

Other fans often think I'm being negative and hateful about Paul when I point out that he is a manipulator and that he has a ruthless streak in him but that can't be farther from the truth. I sincerely admire Paul's ability to arrange his life in such a way that he is safe from most tangible threats and that he has such a way of moving chess pieces so that his hand isn't visible. I find that a great deal more admirable and amazing than John's bluntforce "let me squawk like a chicken to a reporter and they'll shit on Paul for me because I took a photo with them" thing. John was very blunt and clumsy with his sledgehammer and that did get results but I think that Paul is a great deal more artistic and beautiful with his media manipulation. The fact that he can carefully line up his pieces, get the results he wants, and then his influence is never seen (unless you extrapolate your way backwards from the results) is, to me, a great deal more elegant and sophisticated than the Lennono approach to bloviating during interviews.

Paul learned this during the initial Beatlemania rush when he had scads of heterosexual men all on their hands and knees begging him to let them fuck him. He does things exclusively through dangling something people want in front of them and then lets them take a course of action that suits him. And despite the fact that he is the architect of these movements you can never trace anything back to him because he does everything through influence and suggestion, not by out and out coercion or bribery. It's actually kind of incredible. Last week my friend remarked "I think Paul could pull off a bank heist and never get caught" and she's right.

That's what I admire about Paul. That is what I think is beautiful about him. Not necessarily the music or the lyrics or the insane life. Just the fact that he is a very patient and careful human being that doesn't lose his cool easily. I want to know more about him because I want that, you know? Being able to control facets of my life with that much care and harmony.

But that wasn't always the case. Paul was very clumsy during the 1970s because he let his feelings rule him when he should have crushed John like a bug. It wasn't until after John died that Paul started building the fortress, that was when he finally realized "oh shit, I need to build a persona for PR. I can't just be me anymore." Wings Paul is in some ways the most honest Paul, he vomits his feelings everywhere and we get a lot of insights into his mind and home life. That was before he had formed his own network of influence and political chicanry. 1980s Paul is when he's investing in that network finally and then 1990s Paul is when he started putting it into motion culminating in the divorce with Heather Mills. All in all I find it fascinating that Paul was not able to pull these disparate parts of himself together until he was in his 40s and Linda died. What is to be done with such a man?

I think that Paul has always had disparate parts of himself that he hasn't been able to reconcile. This is of course not unusual, it is the work of our lifetimes that we must see, accept, and internalize our contradictory natures. It's Paul's bad luck that he has to do this all in the public eye. No one envies him that. It's hell on earth and my heart breaks for him sometimes.

When it comes to Paul's moods in private, I think he is more or less "happy." Paul himself has said that he doesn't overthink his actions, he just decides what he wants to do and does it and whether it pans out or not is a different matter. I think that he's the kind of person that doesn't ruminate and he doesn't overthink what he's doing. And if he does do that then he goes to his guitar and does the "tell it all my problems" thing which is actually music therapy. It clearly helps him a lot and it clears his head so that he can keep his problems in perspective. I do that with journaling and my common place book, and I should do it more. It clearly helps Paul which is a good habit to have. All in all during his day to day life, Paul is happy and accomplished and has a big family with lots of grandchildren. Clearly loves Beatrice to bits and would do anything for her. The fact that we never hear anything bad about Beatrice is proof that she inherited all the right things from Paul lmao, she knows better than to get in trouble. Interestingly I think Beatrice is Paul's mini-me and considering Heather Mills is the same kind of personality as John Lennon, it makes me think that John and Paul having children together would actually have worked out very well for them.

On the other hand we know that Paul carries his share of anger and bitterness and old grudges. "No one knows the real me, do they." We're lucky that we live in a time where we can be relatively open about our personalities as well as our wants and needs. Paul did not grow up with such privileges and is only just recently starting to feel his way to the place we have inhabited our entire lives. He's suffered greatly for it. He's a naturally reticent person but I think John Lennon is the only person in the world Paul could fully express himself with; even Linda did not get full access to Paul considering comments made by others about Paul's controlling nature which belies anxiety. Why was Paul anxious around Linda, his soul mate? Because there were still parts of himself he didn't want her to know. And so on.

I think that in some ways Paul's lack of rumination and cheeriness is a choice that he's made for himself. He's been "tired" of negativity and hurtfulness for pretty much his entire life, he's always wanted to bring light into the world. John once said that Yoko painting "yes" on the ceiling of her exhibit was what he liked about her because it was positive, unlike the self absorbed 'woe is me' bullshit exhibits other avante garde people put up. I think John was attracted to Paul for similar reasons. Paul tries to take the sad song and make it better. Paul transformed John's life and he saved John from a much harder and painful path like the common belief that John would have landed himself in prison if he hadn't met Paul. I don't think it would have happened precisely that way but it was certainly a distinct possibility that John was aware of and he knew that Paul saved him from it.

Paul does it for himself as much as anyone else. I think he's actively trying to avoid the traps that many of us fall into. Rumination, bitterness, regrets. These are things that poison a person's life and even without therapeutic language Paul realized that he didn't want his life to be consumed by it. That doesn't mean he doesn't have his well of pain to tap into but he wants to live and be happy. He said once that John wouldn't want him to be hurt and depressed and he was right. I think if we all approached our lives with that kind of attitude, "I deserve to be happy and I'm going to do what it takes to get there," we would all be much better off. Paul is a role model in more ways than one.

Paul is a sport, a one off. There is no one else like him and when he dies there will never be anyone like him ever again. Treasure him now while he is here.

I have never seen him perform. When he has his next US tour then I'll go, I don't care what it costs.

Am I attracted to him: yes and yes. I find it more like an aspirational attractiveness but I think he's intensely beautiful and he became more beautiful as he aged (though there is something very special and breedable about 22 year old Paul McCartney. It's deeply depressing that he never got pregnant.) That's different from being handsome, all of the Beatles were handsome but Paul is intensely beautiful. It's the kind of thing that gets memorialized in Sumarian poems. If we were told he was descended from swan maidens or something like that, it would not be a shock. There's a story in that somewhere lol, imagine Paul bathing in a lake and John steals his feathered coat so that Paul will marry him or something like that. IDK. Paul is very intense.

Beauty is sovereign. Beauty triumphs over all things. Paul is one of those rare people that handles (almost) all of his affairs adroitly. Every little thing he does is magic.

I'm a big fan of all of Paul's work, I genuinely enjoy London Town for instance and I don't get why some circles make fun of it. Synth owns what is the problem here. Some of my favorite Paul songs:

With a Little Luck

Probably my favorite "John, I love you, I'm sorry, please come home" song. It's just very Paul, the very carefully arranged harmony, the minor key in an upbeat tempo, with the almost mismatched lyrics before Paul brings it back to a major key resolution. It makes me want to find my partner and kiss them on their lower lip. (My partner has a very pouty lower lip, easily one of their best features.)

Let 'em In

I have an entire animated music video in my head about this song. I've actually been looking up how to teach myself art because I want to pursue it. First learning to draw, then learning to animate and all because I want to animate this sequence I have in my head. Oh Paul. I adore you.

Rock Show

This one actually made me stand up and dance around my house which never happens anymore. I just love the energy and Paul's silly voices. And Paul's platonic fascination with axe wielders rears its head again! I wonder if Paul ever fantasized about killing people with an axe.

Another Day

This is the anthem of my life lmao. At least I have a romantic partner but we're long distance until I can emigrate to the United Kingdom so again I identify very heavily with this Paul piece. Ahhh…

When it comes to Paul's Beatle work, I don't really want to reference anything there because Beatles music was such a community effort, even Paul's songs aren't fully his once the other three got their hands on it. That's not a bad thing but it does mean the Beatles were an engine unto themselves. Paul never had full control of his songs. My choices are not particularly enlightened but they are true which is all I can provide.

This was a really great ask to get, thank you for sending it in. Very flattered if I'm someone who "gets" Paul. I think it's more like he makes a lot of sense to me and it's very rare that he does something that does not make sense to me. I'm probably projecting a lot but we all do that so who cares?

[helslastangel]

My experience having 5H in Scorpio

Disclaimer: These are based on personal observations and experiences and may not resonate for everyone with these placements. If it doesn't apply, let it fly 🪽

I have many "normal" interests (makeup, fashion, hair, shopping, music, TV, etc) and I tell new people about those, but my true interests and hobbies always skewed towards dark or slightly morbid matter, so I keep them hidden. The sheer number of times I have to swallow back a Salad Fingers reference or refrain from giving my opinion on Fran Bow's mental condition in normal conversation... istg...Anyhow, due to my upbringing, I was sheltered from knowing exactly how odd I was until I left home at 18. That's when I got to catch up on some of the shows and cartoons that other people grew up on (for many reasons I don't feel like getting into right now, but "home school" and "radical religious parents" should give you a basic idea).

Thankfully I had a few friends who experienced similar childhoods, some of whom I even grew up with so I could talk about my weird stuff and they could tell me about theirs. For example, I've always been a little fascinated by blood. That whole thing with Angelina and her blood vial necklace did not gross me out at all - I found it cute and I'll die on that hill. Things like blood oaths and so on in history just capture my attention for some reason. Honestly, if the substance itself weren't a bio-hazard, I'd make art with it.

I remember talking with a friend about how I couldn't fully get into Avatar, but out of the little I HAD watched, I developed a very SPECIFIC hyper fixation with blood-bending and deep-dived the topic for WEEKS.I did not give a shit about any of the other bending abilities. Not even normal water-bending. 🫠 Just blood-bending. Idk if it's the power and control factor, or if if I'm just due for a wellness check. Who am I kidding-I have Capricorn & Scorpio stelliums. OFC IT'S ABOUT POWER.

History is another example. My favorite subject. Left unattended, I will look up every deformity that came about by royal family inbreeding or watch a fellow history nerd compile a tier list of the most brutal execution methods of all time. Once, for my birthday, my dad bought me a book called "A Left-Handed History Of The World." That was one of the few times I've felt truly seen by either of my parents. That tome was RIGHT up my alley. I'm a lefty myself and it was nice to read about so many famous and infamous people who were left-handed too. Like Jimi Hendrix - one of my favorite musicians.

I also know a wide variety of herbs, oils and flowers to use to cure or relieve many ailments by heart, and enjoy teaching people how to use those, along with basic reflexology to relieve minor symptoms during the day, so ah, there is that. Not sure how I got into herbology and such, but I do remember being horrified when one of my best friends used to regularly eat leaves off the trees on our street. We were like 7. I kept telling him he would die if he did that and he'd eat more lol. Ofc, nothing happened to him and he was never sick that I remember. So ever since then I was fascinated by the idea of using leaves to feel better.

(Yes, I smoke weed now - are you surprised? lol)

I also enjoy doing synastry readings for friends, family, coworkers, etc., when they're feeling lost or confused about a crush/friend/partner. It's always nice to see their faces light up with understanding when I explain a certain dynamic or give them advice on how to clear up recurring miscommunications. Most of what I enjoy is kinda witchy, but it's not all horrifying, lmao. Like children. Can't mention 5H Scorpio without kids coming up, lol. I was obsessed with the idea of children when I was a lot younger. I had names picked out for them, I would imagine their personalities and somehow they were always stubborn and unruly (I think subconsciously, I enjoy a challenge). In my daily life, anyone or anything in my care automatically became my child in a way. I actually wanted 6 kids at one point. Or some large even number. Babysitting was never a chore for me because I genuinely find children sweet and entertaining.

Even the supposedly misbehaved ones. They need love too. ❤️

Speaking of obsessions, I am a highly possessive person, but because I also have Venus in Scorpio + Mars in Cancer, I'm prone to have VERY strong reactions to rejection, betrayal and the like. For me, though, these are usually implosions. Being a Virgo sun, Capricorn moon, I generally refuse to let my inner turmoil get out into the public eye unless I feel like showing it.

So at any given time, I can be SEETHING inside, but look cold and unbothered.

Having 5H Scorpio is also often associated with being extremely creative, and....IT'S TRUE OMG. I love interior design and decorating, and lots of aesthetically pleasing crafts like crochet, origami, embroidery, etc. Sometimes I waste a phenomenal amount of time at work to make a spreadsheet pretty or play with the fonts in a document. I can't help it, I need to make things look beautiful and stand out.

I am easily consumed by whatever I'm into, and I guess that would be a bad thing if there were people relying on me to be emotionally present on a regular basis, but since it's just me, I get to be lost in my passions most of the time like Frankie (from the TV show Grace and Frankie, lol

𓆩♡𓆪

MASTERLIST

[lilwetto]

Save a horse, ride a cowboy (18+)

Scrim x Y/N

Warnings: SMUT. Also will be written in third person BUT it might change to first since it's easier for me idk yet. might change it.

A/N this is my first scrim smut, so GO EASY ON ME. I also cannot do small paragraphs. I'M SORRY. I'm learning okay lmao, this is new to me all over again- this will not be light work, ok? Also would appreciate requests n shit, I want to actually test how far I can go with these while writing my stories on wattpad. I'll update whenever I can here, there's no hate here, only love. All my smut that I post here will be on my wattpad under LTE since I want to make an imagines book based on requests. It's difficult writing stories and trying to come up with ideas for imagines so pls give me ideas.

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It's been a month since you've heard from Scott, the two of you had been fighting on and off for the last three years, being in a relationship with him had never been an easy one. You had been best friends from the start to failed lovers now, he had written a verse about you in their song Escape from Babylon- talking about how you had gone from saying "I hate you" to "I love you", you've been in love with Scott since before the fame, however he had never felt the same way about you until a few years ago. 

Your last falling out, you decided to pack all of your shit and move out of the home you two shared. He was entertaining the females on tour and that seemed to be the last of your strength to stay in that relationship, leaving hurt the most since you felt like he never fought for you. 

Unfortunately, you’d have to see him again, you were their stylist for onstage attire and helping with the style of any music video any of them would be in. You knew Scott had a music video coming up, he had been writing a new album for the last year and a half. some new genres for him to try. Autotune being his best friend of course. 

You were dreading that phone call from their manager, Kyle. He knew your relationship with Scott was in fact all over the place, everyone could see that the two of you would always fall out, it was no secret that you were slowly starting to hate the person he had become. 

The last few minutes were peaceful yet horrible as you were pulled from your thoughts by the harsh ringtone of your iPhone. You groan out loud as Kyle’s name flashed across the screen, knowing you couldn’t ignore it. He paid you to do your job. 

“What?” You mumbled after accepting the call. 

“Nice to hear you’re cheery, Y/N.” His chuckle rattled your brain, rolling your eyes in disgust. “We need you to style this next video, come out to Chihuahuan Desert.” The fucking desert? Great. You think to yourself.

“When?” You mumble. You already knew the answer to your question, now. 

“Now would be great.” You look at the time. 

“Why the fuck are you guys picking closer to 11pm?” You didn’t want to leave the comforts of your bed. You managed to find a small apartment in New Mexico since your house with Scott was located in the middle of New Mexico. 

“Y/N, we’re not doing this again, be here in the next hour.” Kyle hung up on you, making you more annoyed than ever as you climbed out of bed and threw on some clothes that’ll keep you warm for the night. 

You drive your car to Chihuahuan Desert, seeing parts of the crew already setting up the lighting for this music video. Scott hadn’t released any new music yet, he had so much in the vault and was too picky to choose what he wanted to do with them all. 

You weren’t happy that they wanted to do this music video at stupid o’clock, parking your car and climbing out. You walk towards the group of people, seeing Kyle getting hands on. “Where is he?” You ask. Clearly not wanting to see or talk to Scott. 

“He’s in that trailer.” He pointed towards the trailer park looking as home. You rolled your eyes and walked up to the doors, knocking loudly as you hear a grumble and the words “come in.” 

Scott was looking over a few pieces of clothing, keeping his eyes locked onto the table as you stepped into the trailer. A part of you wanted to hug him tightly, but the other part wanted to cuss him out and cry. You were the only two in the trailer, looking over at the thousands of clothing that he couldn’t pick from. 

You grab a white oversized shirt, orange sweatshirt and a pair of his baggy jeans, placing them to the side as you looked over at his accessories. “What were you thinking of wearing?” You break the silence first. 

“Was thinking maybe this chain and bracelet.” Your hand brushes against his as the two of you go to pick up the same item. “Sorry.” You mumble quickly. 

Scott shrugs it off and plays it cool as he picks up the white cowboy hat and places it onto his head, a different look for him. He was branching out, picking up new styles from what he does in Suicideboys. 

“I want to say I’m sorry.” He started, catching you by surprise. Scott never apologized; he was stubborn as fuck when it came to him being wrong. In Scott’s eyes he was always right, who was the female in your relationship, huh?

“Doesn’t matter, I’m over it.” You say before you can even stop your words from rolling off the tip of your tongue. Scott wouldn’t like that answer and it felt foreign coming from you as you turned your back to leave the trailer to let him get dressed. 

“What?” His hand enclosed around your right upper arm, making you mentally groan. This is the last thing you wanted to deal with right now. “You don’t give a fuck about us?” 

You let out the biggest laugh as you turn your head to look at him. “That’s rich coming from you. Scott, it’s you who doesn’t give a fuck about us. I have chased you and pleaded and what would you do?” You huffed in annoyance as he turned you to face him. 

“You know I ain’t mean it like that, shawty.” He was doing his little cheesy grin, the one that would get him what he wanted as he bit on his lip. 

“Get changed, you asshole.” You wanted to leave because this always happened, it was always a cycle with Scott, and you were too tired to keep going around like a merry-go-round. 

He pulled your hands towards his belt, lingering your fingers over the cold metal piece. “I think I need some help.” He mumbled that grin still sitting on his lips made you want to slap it off. 

You thought about leaving, but somehow you were in a trance, helping him out of his clothes to change into these new ones. He reached around you, locking the door from behind you before he pressed you up against it. 

His arm outstretched beside your head, resting his hand on the door. “Suck it.” He mumbled, his other hand now holding your chin as his thumb grazed against your lower lip. 

Being the good girl that you were, you slowly got to your knees and with the help of Scott had his pants around his thighs. He was semi-hard, almost waving at you. Your eyes doe-like, stared up at him as you slowly stuck your tongue out. 

You tapped the head of his length against your tongue, you were going to tease him. Scott didn’t deserve to get it how he wanted it, you slowly run the tip of your tongue from the head to the base then back again before spitting at the end. 

He was trying not to moan, watching your every move like a predator stalking its prey. His thumb caressed your cheek as you eased him between your lips, gently nipping your teeth against his sensitive skin. This earned you a small groan from him, this was new, you hardly ever took the upper hand when it came to sex. 

“Y/N, stop teasing.” He grumbled, getting flustered by the lack of contact that he wanted. You peered up to his eyes, seeing the sparkle glistening in his eyes from the lights outside. 

Scott didn’t care much for people hearing and sometimes he didn’t care if anyone saw the two of you fuck, you were his girl and only his. He grabbed your hair in an attempt to get you to do what he asked. The game you were playing with him? Dangerous as hell. 

You pulled your head away, gazing up at him like a deer in the headlights. The look he always loved seeing on you. “Stop fucking playin, Y/N…” He was becoming agitated. 

“Who said I was playing, Scotty?” A small smirk finally appeared on your lips as his hand moved from your face to your hair in seconds, forcing you to be face-to-face with his now hardened length. 

He was throbbing, you could see it with the way it moved like it had a pulse. Your tongue touched the tip, jumping in excitement over a little bit of contact. Your lips finally making the contact that he so longed for, wrapping around his length caused Scott to groan under his breath. 

“Fuck..” Those words weren’t meant to be heard especially by you. He didn’t want you knowing that he had been missing you, his stubbornness stopped him from calling and texting you, refusing to sleep with any girl that threw themselves at him. 

He gripped your hair and slowly began to thrust his hips as he forced you to bob your head against them, taking the upper hand like he always done. You gagged slightly, feeling him hit the back of your throat. It had been awhile, moaning against him before he pulled himself out. 

He forced you up, pinning your back against the door as he roughly pulled your pants and panties off, standing on them to keep them in place so you could take them off without falling over. Scott grabbed your hand as he fell back against the couch, pulling you on top of his lap as he then eased himself inside of you. 

A low groan fell from his lips as he held your hips tightly, allowing you to move when you wanted to. The feeling of him stretching you out caused a soft whimper to burst from your throat, you had missed this feeling of him inside of you. 

You began to slowly rock your hips back and forth, each time you’d build more confidence in each roll forward. Your hands rested on his shoulders as you began to spell ‘coconut’ with your hips. 

“Holy shit… Y/N, you been watching videos or some shit?” His eyes peered from under the hat, licking his lips as he thought about devouring you right there and then.

You laugh under your breath which turned into a moan as Scott began to thrust up inside of you. His hands holding your hips firmly still as his hip movements became faster. His groans were filling the empty spaces as you began to rub circular motions against your clit, you refused to let him be the only one to cum. 

“Fuck… I can’t hold it anymore.” He mumbled, you took the hat from off his head and placed it onto your own. 

Your hips began to move faster against his own movements. Your moans becoming louder as he quickly covered your mouth, grunting as he filled you with his thick, warm load. You whimper under your breath as you feel yourself tighten around him, releasing yourself all over him.  

“Shit…” He chuckled quietly under his breath before placing a couple of soft kisses to your lips. “That was good.” 

You hum in response and slowly slide him out. “What can I say? I missed it.” You placed the hat back on his head and pulled your panties n pants back on before heading outside again. 

Everyone was staring over as you exited the trailer. “What?” You mumbled as Kyle came over. 

“The entire team heard the two of you..” He laughed, acting as if he was embarrassed for us. 

“What can I say? I like to save the horses and ride me a cowboy instead.” 

[neufer]

Thoughts while listening to the cast recording again on my way back to school

Thinking soooo hard about the parallels between Darry and Ponyboy again. Darry had hopes and dreams once but now realizes he can’t have that (for now) and doesn’t see the point in hoping and dreaming (“What's the use of dreaming about a life I'll never know. That ship sailed long ago” - RITF reprise). Ponyboy of course is all about dreaming for something more. He looks around at his rough neighborhood and is not only able to dream about getting out but also still holds on to the belief that it’s possible (“But it's all there for the taking, just a leap of faith away” - FAFT). Really cool that towards the end of the story (at least in the book, I haven’t actually seen the musical) Ponyboy thinks that Darry has a bit of a different mindset, that he won’t stay in their neighborhood forever and won’t be a hood when he’s older (this is before the rumble). And then Pony says he’s going to be like Darry in that regard and I think it’s the sweetest thing ever.

On a similar note to parallels, one of my favorite parts of The Outsiders as a whole is the contrast between Johnny and Dally. Life has been so harsh to them both. The difference is Johnny doesn’t stand up to it like Dally can. It makes him scared and he kind of takes it lying down for the most part. On the other hand, it toughens Dally up. He fights back. But I realized something while listening today that made me really sad. Life has been unkind to them in similar ways, but Johnny has Ponyboy (“The reason I'm living is you. Wherever you go that's where I'll be. Even if death tags along, I don't mind. It's still you and me” - DAMD”) and Dally doesn’t really have a relationship like that with anyone else and it speaks volumes. I don’t know if I can say any more about it rn or else I’ll be too sad, but screw you thank you, SE Hinton, for writing such a freaking good contrast.

Can anyone tell me how Ponyboy is reunited with his brothers after the fire? I know that in previews they had the Curtis brothers hug during Hoods Turned Heroes but they changed that. Is there still some form of a reunion during that song? Is there any dialogue at all? I’ve never thought about it too much but now I’m curious.

I really like the subtle difference in the instrumentation/sound in Tulsa ‘67 and the Finale. The specific part I’m talking about is towards the end and kinda goes like “duh duh, duh duh, duh duh duh” (it was the sound that was used as transition music in the Call Me Cherry vlogs lmao). To me there’s a slight difference in how that sounds in the first song vs the last. In the Finale it somehow sounds more hopeful, more final. Like if you were to listen to both songs you could tell which was the opening and which was the closing just based off of that part alone. Idk if that makes sense, but it’s one of the many parts of the music that I think it’s really cool.

[vendettasfanfictioning]

The Nightmare of Zoldyck (Musical) was gay as fuck and here's why you should watch it.

Bingeing The Nightmare of Zoldyck reminds me just. Just how fucking gay it was??????? And this was made almost 11 years ago???? And it's just so insane and surreal to me?????? They could've added any sort of twist to the Zoldyck Arc and yet the twist they chose was 🌈🏳️‍🌈??? In all fairness, they did also add Hisoka so maybe that's just how it is lmao

Now you may think I'm joking or being delusional—but no I swear THEY MADE IT GAY AS FUCK OK. IT'S ACTUALLY AMAZING

First, we have the obvious; the adorable, blossoming friendship between Gon and Killua. The very reason this arc exists is because Gon refused to let Illumi's teachings corrupt Killua's self-esteem. It's so, so, so touching in the manga and both anime adaptations, but in the musical they just... The songs just made it come off more romantic?

I'm biased, I love the friends-to-lovers development these two undergo, but I swear, take the shipping goggles off and it's still has a subtle if not in-your-face obvious, romantic tone.

Why? First, the presentation. The Zoldycks are introduced by Milluki through song. They each get lines which are backed up by epic music and stage effects, come together for the iconic chant of, "Zoldyck," before ultimately gathering around and sitting down.

Kalluto, Kikyo, Illumi, Silva, Milluki, and Zeno have a family meeting while Killua's hung above them, representing where he is in the dungeon, and right off the bat, you get hit with "forbidden romance" vibes.

The family talks about what Killua did, what he said, while Killua sings about how he doesn't want to inherit his dad's position. HE ALSO SINGS THIS LINE WHICH IS SO?????

And he sings a little after Illumi visits him in the dungeon and, y'know, messes with his head even more. He writes a letter of sorts to Gon, Kurapika, and Leorio, telling them they should go to protect them from Illumi and he just sounds SO heartbroken...

Then we skip forward, this is after the gang has won Gotou's approval. Gon writes a letter, and it's so fucking sweet because it's basically him saying look. Look at Zebro, Gotou, Canary, these people who care for you, who love you. You're not alone, we understand your feelings, ok? AND THIS PANEL IN PARTICULAR IS SO RAPUNZEL SO ROMEO AND JULIET IDK

And that super serious discussion between Killua and Silva? He gushes about Gon a lot, and they really took some liberties with Silva because this man keeps grinning like he knows his son's got a crush.

And of course Gon's not gonna back down. Canary asks how their Young Master Killua was like, outside Kukuroo Mountain, and... just look.

I'm not gonna include every damn time they sing together but when they finally meet? They're so. so happy. I can't.

And there's this scene after the party (yes they have a goodbye party of sorts for Killua) where Killua thanks Gon for coming to get him and Gon says ofc we're friends and they play around and they're so happy together...

Look at them they ded

There's also this moment when it all goes to shit and THIS SONG SLAPS Gon metaphorically slaps Killua out of it too but just. Just listen to it, it made me cry

And since this happens right after the Hunter's Exam, Kurapika and Leorio are still a bit wary of Killua, so while Gon's ecstatic and unwavering about being Killua's friend, the other two sort of bond in the sidelines as well?

Take this shot of leopika dancing. It's short and sweet and they're so stupid but they're at least getting along!!!

I forgot they bickered a lot, especially during the Hunter's Exam, but now look at them. This isn't the gayest part though, because Leorio finds out there's a hot spring in the Zoldyck mansion... and... yeah... I'll let y'all watch this scene for yourselves but uh, stuff happens and I fucking screamed is all

LIKE LOOK THESE MFS END UP STAR GAZING TOO COME ON

They also share a bit in the end where Gon sniffs Zebro??? And he says that Zebro has a similar scent to Leorio??? And leopika turn to each other and go:

LIKE HELLO?? HELLOOOOO???

And of course, I saved the murder husbands for last. While the gang have their fun, we would sometimes cut to black and these two would be shown, scheming in the dark and talking about their own plans.

They be dropping some bomb ass dialogues tho

AND APPARENTLY ILLUMI GAVE HISOKA A TOUR LMAO

Mind you, there is no fucking explanation as to why Hisoka's there. His narrative purpose is ofc to sow chaos and stir trouble, look out for Gon or whatever, but why is he here specifically in the Zoldyck Estate is never stated. BUT he does refer to it as a vacation. Twice.

Like sure this is just him being a little shit but COME ON. If Illumi really didn't want him there, he'd have chased Hisoka out, swatting him with a broom while at it. But no. They scheme in the dark and Illumi shows him around and Hisoka says it's a vacation. Wonder who could've invited him.......

This interaction also happens. And I will only be thinking about this for the foreseeable future.

HISOKA CHASES AFTER HIM OFFSCREEN IT'S KINDA CUTE AND ALSO RUINING MY LIFE????

Insane that the killugon heart-to-heart, leopika hot spring moment, and hisoillu bickering happen back to back to back. They're all paired off. The way they switch the audience's perspective actually really satisfying. Each couple gets their alone time and it's like seeing the different stages of a relationship. INSANE and HELLA GAY

And, of course, the heart of the cards—easily one of the most iconic lines Hisoka's said, which is, coincidentally, the point of conflict of the entire musical

While Killua's fighting for his life, here's the magician who's basically getting everything he's ever wanted served on a silver platter. This mf is so happy he got to fight Illumi's family lmaoooo

AND HE SAYS IT TWICE!!!!

ONLY FOR MAMA ZOLDYCK TO MIC DROP WITH THIS IN THE END

I just. I love this musical so much. It used to be my comfort watch when I first got into HxH, and while I joke about how fucking gay it turned out to feel (I'm being serious about it though) I do think it's a great production.

The actors did amazing, the dance/fight sequences and the dialogue were so well done, and it just added so much depth to the Zoldycks, y'know? I do wish Alluka was here, but we all know why she's not... That would've been so fun though.

Anyways, if I've convinced you, then you can watch it here!!!

[jennay]

Misunderstood

Request:

I wanna request rory culkin in lords of chaos being in his record shop and seeing a not so normal customer for such a shop, he sees a pretty girl wearing her pretty mini sundress having her cute makeup and hair done, she looks all dolled-up ykyk. she basically goes there to buy something for her brother but she's so not into it, she so shy and "scared" to go there but she eventually does it and like euro kinda finds it adorable even tho everyone there is teasing her (AH IDK IF THAT MAKES SENSE LMAO, I just need fluff and cuteness and yk maybe a little spicy teasing IDK HEHEHE! hope u have a great day!!!)

Master List

An: I Hope this is what you wanted!

Words: 1700

Warnings: None. Maybe shit talking?

Shivers ran down your spine as you walked down the dark, dirty street. Why your brother thought it was a good idea to send you to this part of town was beyond you. You understood his foot was broken and needed someone to run errands for him, but you didn't belong with the people he associated with. You weren't into death metal, didn't wear all black, and you definitely didn't rage against the machine. You were quite the opposite. You enjoyed your colorful wardrobe and bubbly music and were more of a rule follower. You NEVER got in trouble or put yourself in a bad situation.

You had heard rumors about the record store and its owner. Some said he was a cult leader who performed rituals in the basement. Others said he was a serial killer who lured unsuspecting customers into his trap. Others said he was a vampire who fed on the blood of young girls like you. He wasn't twenty-five, but innocent people's blood kept him youthful.

Of course, you didn't believe those stories, but you still felt uneasy as you approached the store. It looked like a rundown shack, with faded posters and graffiti covering the windows. The neon sign flickered and buzzed, spelling out "Rock 'n' Roll Heaven." You wondered if that was meant to be ironic or ominous.

You pushed open the door and stepped inside. The smell of dust and mold hit you like a wave. You saw rows of shelves filled with records, tapes, and magazines. You also saw posters of rock stars and bands, some of who you recognized and others you didn't. The place was dimly lit by a few lamps and a jukebox that played an old song you couldn't name. Where the hell did you step into?

You walked along the aisles, scanning the labels and covers. You could feel a few different sets of eyes on you, and you tried to keep your head down but glanced up a few times with an awkward smile, hoping they didn't come toward you.

One man stood at the counter pretending to read a magazine, but his eyes would flick to you. He'd nudge his buddy and whisper something you couldn't hear, making you anxious.

"Sweetheart. I think you stepped into the wrong place." One of them says, staring at you. "You need to go to the record store on Broadwater. They have all that bubble gum pop shit you're probably looking for." You notice his piercing blue eyes carving into your soul, and you try to look away, but it's a trance. His long black hair hangs in his face, and deep down inside, you want to remark how he should stop wearing women's clothing and grow up, but the rumor of him eating people comes back to your mind, and you keep your mouth shut.

You find the name of the band your brother had mentioned, and there are several different pieces of vinyl, each from a different year. Why didn't he tell you the name?

"Do you not talk?" Another one calls from the counter.

You look up at him again, blushing, "I do. I'm just looking for something, and I'll be out of here." Your eyes return to the records, and you grab the newest one. Your brother was a collector, and it was more than likely he wanted the more recent item.

You hear his footsteps walking around the counter, and just to your luck, the bigger one is coming toward you. The one who looks like he might attack you.

He walks up to you with a smirk on his face, holding a cigarette in his hand. He blows smoke in your direction, making you cough. He looks at the record you're holding and snorts. "You're kidding me. You're buying this crap?" He grabs the record from your hand and examines it. "This is their latest album. It's garbage. They sold out to the mainstream. They lost their edge. They used to be good back in the day." He points to another record on the shelf. "This is their first album. This is where it all started. This is real music." He hands it to you and takes back the one you had chosen. "Trust me, kid. You'll thank me later." He winks at you and returns to the counter, leaving you speechless and confused.

Kid? You weren't a child.

You cautiously walk to the counter, noticing two of the three men sitting in the corner watching some gory horror movie, and you do your best not to make a face at it.

You try to play it cool like you weren't in your favorite red and white sundress that you'd just bought, you weren't wearing the cutest sandals you'd ever seen, or you didn't get dolled up for the day knowing where you were going.

You tried to ignore the stares and whispers of the other customers, who looked at you like you were an alien. But you knew you couldn't fool anyone.

"You're brave walking in here looking like that. You look like you got lost on your way to the Barbie convention." He sounds playful, but you'd be lying if you said it didn't hurt your feelings.

You bite your lip, wishing he would just tell you how much you owe him, but he seems amused with you and taking his time. He grabs the record with a smirk and taps on the cash register.

He looks at you with a mock surprise and says, "That'll be a hundred bucks, please." He chuckles and adds, "Just kidding. It's only twenty. But I'll take a hundred if you want to tip me for my excellent service." He winks at you and holds his hand, waiting for your payment.

Your eyes deaden at his joke; you don't find him amusing. He hands you the record, still smiling as you walk away from him.

"Hey, I'm gonna take a smoke break." He tells the others and follows behind you. Was he following you?

Part of Euronymous felt guilty for the way he was acting. He didn't want to admit it, but that was his best attempt at flirting, and he failed miserably. "Hey, wait up." He says, catching you before you cross the street.

You stop, looking back for a second before you sigh and drop your shoulders, "Why so you can continue to be an asshole to me?"

He runs his fingers through his hair, holding his cigarette to his lips. "I wasn't. I didn't…Look, I think your style's cool. I, uh, I don't know how to talk to pretty girls." He admits.

Your brows scrunch together with confusion; you aren't sure what his game plan is. "I'm not really into Satanists or cult leaders, so you don't have to waste your time apologizing to me or trying to make me feel better about myself. I think you're tacky, just like your store."

He looks hurt by your words, but he doesn't give up. "Well, I'm neither of those things." He pulls his cigarette from his lips, "This is weird and I know this is weird, because I'm weird, but, let me at least walk you to your car. It's getting late and I'd feel like a shithead if something happened to you."

You hesitate, not sure if you should trust him or not. He doesn't look like a bad guy, just a misunderstood one. But you've heard stories about people like him, who pretend to be friendly and turn out to be monsters. You don't want to be another victim. "I'm walking to my brother's house, and I'd prefer you not to know where I stay." You tell him, but part of you wants to take his offer. It's creepy at night, and you have no way to protect yourself if something was to happen.

He remains quiet, watching you rethink what you just told him. Why did you tell him that? He could easily follow you and find out where you live. You curse yourself for being so stupid. "If I let you walk me home, promise not to stalk me?" You ask him, hoping he's not lying.

His laughter rings in your ears, "I won't stalk you. Between my band and owning the shop, I don't have time to stalk anyone plus, if you want to see me, you know where I work." He playfully winks. "Come on, let's go. I promise I'll behave." He smiles at you with a charming grin that makes your heart flutter. You wonder if he's as bad as you thought or just a lonely soul looking for company. You decide to give, hoping you won't regret it later.

You make small talk, asking him about his band. He tells you that his band is called Mayhem and plays black metal, an extreme and controversial music genre.

"I'm glad you came in today. I know it can be a bit over the top, and I'd be lying if I said we weren't being judgemental dicks." He laughs, his eyes dart to you nervously, waiting for your response, but you continue to watch the sidewalk. "I hope part of you doesn't believe I'm what everyone says."

You tilt your head up, looking at him with curiosity. You wonder why your opinion would matter. "I think you're misunderstood but you kind of like it that way."

He shrugs and takes a drag from his cigarette. "I do enjoy being a rebel and an outcast. I like making people uncomfortable it's entertaining to see how fearful people are." He exhales the smoke and looks at you with a smirk. "But maybe I also like surprising people and showing them that I'm not a monster. Maybe I like being normal and human."

"You know, nice doesn't look bad on you. You should try it more often." You're able to genuinely smile at him this time. "Well," You say, stopping in front of the apartment doors. "This is it." You don't know how to end this interaction. It's not like this was a date or a friendship.

He nods, "Alright, I'll see you around?"

You shrug with a playful smile as you open the door, "Maybe."

He throws his hands in the air as he walks away from you, "I'll take it!" He says, his voice full of excitement. He looks back at you and gives you a thumbs-up, making you laugh, and he disappears into the night, leaving you with a story to amuse your brother with and a memory that might make you return to the 'scariest' record store in town.

[chwedout]

chwedout has finally reached 1k followers! thank you to everyone who decided to press the follow button, from those who followed me way back in the spiderstingle days to those who only followed me recently, i really appreciate it! to celebrate this milestone, i've decided to do a few things.

first of all, i've finally started a tracking tag — #chwedoutbox. you can find more about it in this post. i can't wait for you all to use it so i can see and share all the cool things you create.

secondly, i've decided to open up my ask box to requests! all you need to do is choose one of the following prompts and send a request through my ask box.

seventeen member + music video (e.g. vernon in rock with you)

seventeen member + going seventeen episode (e.g. mingyu in svt's kitchen for two)

this or that (e.g. left & right era wonwoo or 24h era wonwoo/ long haired jeonghan or short haired jeonghan)

there's no limit to how many requests you can send, go wild if you want to. i just ask that you be patient with me as sometimes i do like to go outside to breathe in fresh air and touch some grass. sending requests on anon is okay too! however, i won't be able to tag you when i do eventually post your request.

now i just want to say a massive thank you to all of my mutuals! being sappy lowkey makes me cringe but i couldn't have reached this milestone without any of you. to my og mutuals (i won't tag you dw) who were here way before i turned into a kpop blog, to my newest mutuals who i probably haven't spoken to, thank you! i hope you all know how much i appreciate you and that you all mean so much to me ♡

first of all my ride or dies- the hhu wives- sarah @vertiny, bec @storyoflight, and alex (idk if you deactivated </3) i literally would not be here without all of you. we've been through so much together and i just want to say that i love all of you so so much! let's all hope that we can one day go to that svt concert together.

j @vcrnons - my dolly in crime and my first ever caratual on tumblr! if i remember correctly, you followed me way back when i hadn't fully committed to being an svt blog yet. thank you so much for being so kind and supportive to me when i first started. i mean it when i say i don't think i'd be here if we didn't become mutuals since your work always inspired me to start creating myself.

ophelia @lee-sanghyeok - another one of my fave vernon stans! thank you for always being a joy to see on the dash! you're so incredibly sweet and i know i can always count on you to send me vernon content when i ask for it.

kashi @jeonsupershy - one of my fave wonwoo stans fr! seeing all of your wonwoo gifs always puts a smile on my face. every time he does something i just know that i'm going to be reblogging one of your stunning gifs later in the day. thank you for always being such an awesome presence on the dash. i'm so grateful to be mutuals with you!

max @scouped - you are so incredibly talented and i really hope you know that! i'm always in awe whenever i see one of your creations on my dash. you definitely inspire me to push the boundaries of my creativity when it comes to making content. i do miss your presence on tumblr but i'm always happy when i see you on the dash from time to time.

tiff @uservernon - my beloved dolly moot! thank you for always being so sweet. you always bring such a fun and bright presence to caratblr and i love seeing you on the dash or in my notifs especially when you're screaming about vernon. the url is still a powermove in my opinion!

maddie @jeonwon-wonwoo - you are genuinely one of the kindest and friendliest people i've met on tumblr. i've had so much fun talking to you about the most random things. i'll never forget our chats about the walking dead and teen wolf. i hope you're doing well!

yena @fairyhaos - my fave joshua stan! i hope you know that every time i see the couch shua pic i think of you lmao. i always love seeing you lose your mind over shua and you never fail to make me laugh with all the tags you leave on posts. thank you for bringing such a positive energy to caratblr! i'm so glad to have you as a mutual.

zaynab @galatariel - another one of my insanely talented mutuals! your gifs are always so gorgeous and always inspire me to go out of my comfort zone and create something new. i always enjoy seeing you make content for the things you love. thank you for being so kind and helpful.

nuri @jjunhui - again, another mutual who is extremely talented! everything you make is just stunning and your svt as text posts gifsets never fail to make me laugh. thank you for being so supportive and kind. i am so grateful to have you as a mutual.

nana @kyeomies - so glad to see that you're back! i've always enjoyed seeing your pretty gifs on my dash and can't wait to see more of your content. i hope you're doing well!

yo @redrcbin - literally one of my most beloved mutuals! i'm still not 100% sure when we became mutuals but i think it's pretty funny if it was because of the c-word game. i always love seeing you on the dash and in my notifs, especially when i see you losing your mind over wonwoo or mingyu. i'm so happy i get to call you a friend.

and to all the mutuals that i haven't talked to or interacted with that much - @jeongtokkie, @kimsmingyu, @wonboos, @leedonghun, and @soonhoonsol - thank you so much for being awesome! i really hope we do get to talk more in the future.

now i'm going to kick myself because tumblr won't let me tag anymore people and i'm pretty sure i've missed out on so many beloved mutuals of mine. i'm extremely sorry if i did, but please know that i appreciate every single one of you so much!

[bunnakit]

4 minutes ep 1 raw reactions

idk if i'm gonna delve too deep into this and do my normal analysis so for now i'll just type up my raw reactions as i'm watching lmao.

the title sequence is fucking stunning, obsessed.

ooh he has a maine coon. rich boy maybe? expensive cat and nice apartment.

i really enjoy that the heartbeat sounds in the elevator scene sound like a heartbeat heard through an ultrasound. very interesting.

but umm. if you're having severe chest pain and trouble breathing please see yourself to the hospital my friend???

oh ok definitely a rich boy, hello fancy car.

AAAAAA BAS, IT'S BAS, LSKJGAI MY LOVE, GOD HE LOOKS SO GOOD

the music in this show is fucking gorgeous but like... also why so dramatic

ok so korn: transport -> investments (secret operation??? tf?) and they want great: university -> transport. got it.

ooh 12:39 okay i see you.

ooh 12:43 ok, 4 minutes, i'm listening.

OH. OH DON'T RUN THO

also like why was there a pedestrian in there???

OH. OK. INTERESTING.

i also hate that great initially ran bc now it's gonna take so much for me to like his char, which i'm sure is the point but still (；′⌒`)

aah. okay. i understand. it seems like she didn't want to do it tho. like yeah maybe suicide but... kinda seemed like suicide under coercion? or some form of intense external pressure.

HOLY SHIT JOB. THEY LET HIM OUT OF THE BE ON CLOUD VAULT. RUN BBY YOU'RE FREE.

HE'S SO THIN??? BBY ARE YOU EATING OKAY? i mean good for him if it was healthy and what he wanted tho.

this other doctor is so fucking hot tho who the fuck are you sir god DAMN. jaw for days.

ooh those dark spots on the ultrasound look like internal bleeding.

OH I'M SO SEXY AND SMART.

sexy doctor why shifty eyed??? i have a weird feeling about him. ok his name is tyme. as of rn we do not trust tyme.

more gorgeous music tho.

oh don't twirl your scissors like a douche.

he's got dead eyes and not much for facial expressions, he's freaking me out.

ew you don't even know your patient's name??? I DO NOT LIKE HIM SAM I AM, I DO NOT LIKE TYME EGGS AND HAM.

ok i dont like tyme but i WOULD like to see him and job's character fuck nasty. i am not immune to yaoi propaganda.

GOD BAS IS SO HOT I CAN'T GET OVER IT. I'VE MISSED HIM SO FUCKING MUCH. i love bible a lot but bas is everything to me. i used to reblog the same picture of him everyday. that's my sweet cheese, my good time boy, my rotten soldier.

oh i don't like this set up tho. this feels human trafficky. or like a no way in no way out. mmmm baby what do y smell is it death? OH LMAO IT'S GAMBLING. same thing kinda.

korn seems sensitive to smells, or maybe just smoke. he's just like me fr.

oooh curly hair girl isn't here to gamble, she's here for info of some kind.

OH BOYFRIEND TIME. OHHH OH I GET TO SEE BAS KISS MEN. LIKE I KNEW BC I SAW THE GIFS WHEN IT FIRST STARTED BUT UGH. I WAS NOT PREPARED. FUCK HE'S SO HOT. I CAN'T FUCKING DO THIS. HELP.

the fact that he opens up to his boyfriend and talks about his troubles as much as he reasonably can o(T ▽ To)

oh my god get OFF HIM there's no way your refractory period is that short.

not a huge fan of how korn came over, dumped his issues, had sex, and left tho. not great.

obsessed with this asymmetrical collar of great's shirt tho.

yeah i do love that no one fucking asks if great is ok, how he's doing, etc. he just went through something horribly traumatic and he could've been hurt, like. yuck. and his mom seems sweet but the fake sweet, like saccharine.

ooh why does his watch say 11:00??? something's gonna happen, huh.

fuck bas has an fantastic ass. i know we saw it but it somehow looks even better in those pants, my god.

7:13...

ugh i love brothers that can only be (mostly) themselves around each other. i really hope that's the direction this is going. two gorgeous gorgeous men on my screen, just an absolute feast for my eyes.

omg wait. wait. korn doesn't like the smell of cigarettes and he doesn't want great smoking. is there cigarette trauma? or does his dislike of cigarettes come from his concern for his brother's health?

OH facial expressions from tyme!! what a little grandma's boy.

11 am....

exploring the psychological depths of near-death experiences. the '4-minutes' phenomenon.

INCHRESTING. was manee coerced into suicide by someone trying to obtain a real time test subject for this phenomenon???

ooh he took the stairs today.

4th floor... 1:10 (13:10)... room 4... 1:11 (13:11)... ran into tyme outside room 1... at 1:14 (13:14)...

so in theory is each cardiac event he's suffering technically a near-death moment which is triggering the 4 minutes phenomenon where he has an out of body moment where he can see future events???

oooh he ran into him again. perhaps to show some things are simply inevitable?

damn the end sequence is gorgeous too.

fuck. i might be obsessed. uh oh.

god damn it sammon, you got me again.

wait so back to when it was 7:13pm... 19:13... 9+1=10, 3+1=4 so more 1s and 4s ₍ ˶•̀⤙•˶ ₎ hmmm

idk if i'm cooking or burning the kitchen down but i'm excited to find out

[crazypenguinlad1017]

I just really need to rant about Green Day and Billie Joe Armstrong right now. I know that so many fans feel so deeply connected to their music, and I'm not the only one. But I'm gonna go ahead and say my piece. So many of their songs just punch me in the gut, stab me twisting the knife, like wtf. That's just by the feeling of the music, with all the instruments, who knew fucking power chords held so much emotions, its insane. Then come the lyrics, I love it how Billie Joe just says such honest things, even if it's through metaphor, it just feels so real and like what I'm going through. A lot of songs I find are very cringey in the way they speak about mental health, but not with Green Day. Fucking blows my mind. Geniuses. This rant was sparked by me listening to the demo of Just Another Year on repeat. The Death of St. Jimmy was brutal before, now its so much more brutal and I want to, and have sobbed. What the hell is wrong with me? These songs make me feel so deeply. Even ones that I have no connection to lyrically I feel so much. Even Macy's Day Parade, which is about consumers or something like that, makes me want to sob. At the Library makes me want to sob. Pulling Teeth makes me want to sob. Brutal love, I could go on, maybe I should make a list. Hmmmmmm.

Sure, I'll do a list of all the songs that make me want to cry sometimes or always in my playlist order: At the Library, 80, No One Knows, Pulling Teeth, She, Armatage Shanks, Stuck With Me, 86, Panic Song, Redundant, Scattered, Worry Rock, Walking Alone, Hold On, Macy's Day Parade, J.A.R, Just Another Year, Lowlife, Jesus of Suburbia, Wake Me Up When September Ends, Letterbomb, Homecoming, Whatsername, 21st Century Breakdown, Before the Lobotomy, Last Night on Earth, Last of the American Girls, Murder City, See the Light, When It's Time, Brutal Love, X-Kid, The Forgotten, Somewhere Now, Outlaws, Still Breathing, Forever Now, Dilemma, Goodnight Adeline, Fancy Sauce

Jeez, that took a while ngl. Anyway, my point is that their music hits me like nothing has hit me before. It's like my heart is being kept safe with them because they understand my emotions, even though they dont know I exist at all. I know that might sound a bit extreme, but I'm not the only one who feels like this, right? I'm completely aware that there is more to life than Green Day, but sometimes it's all I need to get by I guess. I hope they understand how much of an impact their music has on people, I mean, if they did, it would probably be overwhelming, so idk. They literally taught me how to live just another year. So crazy, humans are so fucking weird and complex lmao. Stay safe and talk to people if you feel able! Or just listen to Green Day or whatever music you feel connected to. Just take care of yourself is what I'm really trying to say:):)