#idk I was having a moment where I was feeling more confident about my art

[none-tadashi-left-hiro]

hmmmm. Sad

[caotictimmy]

can you do an anya x female reader where the reader comforts her and they steal a sweetener packet to share

A non acually kiss me. Jk.. or am I? But I love this idea so fucking much. Idk if you wanted pre crash or post crash but I’m gonna do post crash.

But thank you for your request anonnie 💋💋💋💋

Content arting : Period talk for like a sentence

Anya has been acting different.. Everyone has after the crash. But you suspected something was just wrong. So when everyone was busy doing something. You decided to scout her out to figure what was wrong and help!

You were walking the halls to the medical. Before you heard something. The soft sounds of sobbing. You immediately thought to Anya. When you turned the corner. You saw her sitting by the closed medical door, knees to her chest, face in her hands. Sobbing uncontrollably. “Anya! What’s wrong?”, you quickly rushed to her side. She looked up from her hands, looking a bit embarrassed that she got caught crying.

“I-I..I’m sorry you shouldn’t see me like this”, she hiccuped out, through the tears still streaming down her rose tinted cheeks. “Hey! Hey! It’s ok, you can tell me what’s wrong Anya.” You whispered in a calm way, trying to make her feel better. She put her face back in her hands. “J-Ji-Jimmy get’s so mad when he has to f-feed curly-“ she said stuttering through the sentence. Trying to catch her breath. “His-his p-p-pills.” She sobbed harder mentioning the pills. “I can’t take his sounds of agony!” She looked up at you through her tear stricken eyes. “God his sounds. His awful sounds! It’s like they haunt every time I’m conscious!” Anya continued.

“Anya. I’ll start giving him his pills. I don’t need our wonderful nurse stressing anymore.” You said, trying to light the mood up. Which seemed to work as her frown turned into a small smile. “Y-you’d really do that for me, what about jimmy-“. You cut her off, “I’ll start worrying about jimmy when he pulls that big stick out of his ass. Just worry about yourself.” Anya giggled a bit when you mentioned Jimmy’s large ego. “Are you sure you’re okay with giving Curly his pain killers.” She asked warily. “I’m more than 100% positive.” You said. Giving her a confident grin. Which made Anya let out her own sweet smile.

“Now come on, I know exactly what to cheer you up.” You said. Grabbing her hand, pulling her up with you. Before dragging her to the kitchen. Anya gave you a confused look. But she still followed. You bring her to where you could get the packets of different substances. But most importantly. Sweetener. “Why are we by the packet maker. Isn’t only the captain only able to use it?” Anya asked, her look of confusion still evident on her face. Her eyes still glazed over from crying. “Anya would you like to see a magic trick?” You said with a cheeky grin.

“Uh..sure” she said with an awkward, but intrigued smile. You turn back to the packet maker. You start to rapidly push all the buttons at once, until the junky machine let out aloud beep. Anya let out an audible gasp when she heard the beep. She then proceeds to watch you put the code in for the sweetener. Even more to her surprise. It starts making the sweetener. “How.. how did you do that? Wait how did you even figure that out?” She said with amazement. The sadness laced completely gone by now. “All I have to say is never get in-between me when I’m having my period sugar cravings.” You laughed. Smirking wider as she let out her own laugh. You then looked back to the machine sweetener packet was done.

“Where do you decided where we share this together m’lady”. You teasingly say. Jokingly doing a curtsy in front of Anya. “How about outside the medical.” She said, snorting at your silly action. “What ever m’lady wants!” You said. Linking your arms together as you walk back to the medical. Things might be chaos on the tulpar, but these sweet moments made everything a bit better.

[fandomfluffandfuck]

Okay okay. I just had this beautiful mental image of competence kink Steve. And my brain produced two fairly different images: Steve sees Bucky do something incredible during a mission. Idk what. And *oh*, he pops a boner right there and then, as much as the cup of his suit allows anyway. He can barely wait to get off the quinjet post mission, much to the team's amusement, to blow Bucky and then fuck into next week because holy shit hot

Or, Steve having an unfairly wet dream about WS!Bucky in the leather and incredible skills with all the knife tricks and so on and feeling very guilty about that. Because getting the horny from something Bucky had no control over? Not cool, at least in his mind. Bucks somehow gets him to spill though, and then ties Steve up and uses his knife skills to get him out of his clothes very efficiently, leaving Steve there as a panting and moaning mess Uh yeah my brain melted a little

For reference, my ask box is no longer open for requests, but this is from before I closed it, so I will be writing for this ask.

Oh, fuck yeah, I love competency kink. We can certainly talk about that and soak in the brain melt together, lol

Besides, we all know that that fucker has one

gifs by @/linusbenjamin

and this moment haunts him 😏 because of it.

Plus, that single shield catch isn't even to mention the million other examples I could think of for Steve's fixation on the Winter Soldier. The ghost is strutting around in what's practically fetish gear, like, c'mon, give Steve some slack. It's leather and straps and shimmering metal and decisive, confident combat. Motherfucker.

I am SO fucking down to think about Steve watching Bucky execute some incredible feat on a mission and getting turned on because of it, and I will expand on that in a minute. But, also, the second option, too. YES. Steve wet dreaming about the Winter Soldier? God, it's more than just likely, that shit absolutely happened.

(I did write something about those wet dreams in this ask answer under "war paint")

(Also, you need to see this art, that is... yup. Knives and bondage and competency.)

Okay, competency on missions driving Steve insane...

(warning for canon typical violence!)

It happens like this: one instant Steve is solely focused on strangling the underling that's freshly come at him 'cause he's just trying to get through the masses of them before he can actually disarm this whole fucking shitty, dangerous situation alongwith it's leader, and the next instant Steve is totally, completely, and entirely distracted from getting an arm around this fuckers throat, squeezing off his air between his forearm and bicep. It could not be farther from his mind, really.

Rather than thinking about how he can best discard this underling and move on to the next--always plotting his following move, what punch should he throw, what kick, where's his shield, how should he throw his shield, who's around him, and are they his teammates or this month's big enemy--he's aching, not thinking, aching to drop to his knees. It is a visceral, very unchill reaction that Steve can't fucking control. There is no way on god's green earth.

The wanting to drop like a fly isn't because he's tired and ready to give in and surrender, nah, he could do this all day, it's because he's at fucking full mast in his uniform pants so suddenly that he needs a goddamn break from himself. His own hyperreactive body. It's dizzying, debilitating, how his blood rushes from circulating oxygen as fast as it can to his bulging, burning, working muscles to pooling heavy and hot in his cock.

All that hot, thick blood filling his dick out as he moves and twists, grappling with his fucking random ass bad guy, and threatening, incidentally, to rub himself salaciously against the hard pressure of his athletic cup.

His cup is cupping him.

He's big, he can't not. He's got no fucking room. It's... yeah, it's, just--

Jesus Christ.

Steve's aching to drop to his knees and more. It doesn't stop at getting to his knees. One moment and he has the worst kind of desperate craving crashing through him, leaving him hankering for the sensation of firm, muscular legs squeezing around his throat, the pressure tight on both sides, making him feel like his head might explode as he gasps for air or he might pass out without any air or he might cum from pure fucking lust at how hot it is or all of the above all at once.

All at once.

It is an onslaught of arousal. Just. His appetency is un-fucking-checked for the tingling, sharp burn of fingers raking through his hair and pulling hard until he feels it in his scalp and skittering down his back, richly feeding the fire at the base of his spine. He needs to feel body heat suffocatingly around his neck and shoved up against him from behind. Heat painted like thick, sticky tar up the nape of his neck to the crown of his head.

And all that weakening fucking hunger is inspired by one instant. A single flash that he catches, lightning-fast, out of the corner of his eye.

Dark leather molded to fit a shapely body perfectly, sinfully, waves of hair flowing like water, and the distinct glint of silver metal caught in the sun, flashy and, just, sexy.

Bucky.

Bucky, who's barely just been able to be comfortable in combat again after deprogramming but is ever-skilled. Honed. Deadly and gorgeous as a honey trap.

Bucky, who has spent more hours in the gym training with Natasha than anyone else combined--something about mutual trauma and understanding and trust.

Bucky in elegant, lethal motion, wrapping himself like a lithe snake around his own steroid-fit underling, his burly thighs squeezed around the baddies thick, muscular throat, his veins bulging in strain, balanced perfectly on his broad shoulders, and keeping the power in his own mismatched hands. The palm of his hands, like it's easy.

Bucky is fucking winning, it's plain to see. No sweat.

Bucky has shocked this baddie by mounting him, throwing his weight around with ease in a way that shouldn't be possible for a man his size. Better, Bucky has thrown him even further off, fisting a hand into his hair cruelly, pulling so hard that his choices are to let his hair be ripped out and deal with the gritting pain or follow the hold and put himself in worse danger, prolonging the time before the pain. The unnamed baddie follows, of course. Anyone would follow someone as intoxicating and beautiful as Bucky. But he's then pinned there, throat fully exposed. Perilous. The most animal form of submission, this time forced and humiliated by defeat.

Bucky is the dominant fighter.

He is in control.

And he is making it known with what would be sickening glee if Steve was anyone but himself--if Steve wasn't so fucking aroused by watching Bucky wield himself as a weapon of his own choosing, taking control, and reveling in doing good.

God.

With his thighs around his neck, Bucky deftly plucks a long, sharp knife from its holster strapped onto his mouth-watering thigh and twists and twirls it around his fingers before holding it against the underling's throat. The threat is crystal clear and needs no further explanation: move and its lights out for you.

So, the underling folding to his mercy, Bucky slowly, slowly contorts his body, displaying his oh-so flexible spine and positioning his mouth right above his ear. Steve watches him whisper into his ear--his pink lips curling over the hushed syllables in the heat of chaotic, loud battle--and shivers.

Goosebumps come to attention all across Steve's body.

Shit.

He's unreal.

He's so gorgeous and so good and so charming.

At whatever he tells him, the baddie nods stiffly, all the color drained from his face, and Bucky retracts his knife unhurriedly, perfectly moving according to his own schedule, and confidently sheathes the blade it once more. Then, neatly, he unclenches his thighs from around his throat and slithers off his shoulders. It's almost a dance--totally smooth, well-rehearsed choreography.

He defies gravity.

As soon as Bucky is far enough from him, peeled away, the underling scurries off like a frightened rat, stumbling as he sprints off. Bucky watches him go with an unhinged, almost-pitying smile, an expression just for himself, as if to say, that's right, you better run. Tell the others, too. You fuck with me and it's over. Don't bother coming back.

Steve whimpers.

Realistically, it--Bucky devastatingly executing one of Black Widow's signature flipping, twisting moves as if it's his own and something developed specifically for him, an over 200 lbs man of pure muscle and metal--all happens in the span of seconds. Or, maybe it happens faster. It may not even be a single second. But for Steve, it plays in slow motion; it lasts ages in his mind.

Still, really, just it's one instant, and then his brain chemistry has been fully altered. Immediately. His wires have been crossed over and shorted out. Sparks fly. And his reboot back to being a functioning fucking human comes in the form of a punch to the face.

Fuck.

Steve groans through the pain of a fist colliding with his face, wincing, and opening and shutting his jaw to have it crack back into place. He's gonna fucking feel that later. But, for now, he has to ignore the heavy, aching throb of his cock, the pain in his jaw, and get back to fighting.

Later, he tells himself.

Later, that'll be his treat for getting through this shit day. He can kneel and beg, forgetting himself as a drooling, heaving, out-of-breath, hot faced mess at Bucky's feet, fumbling over words as he incomprehensibly pleads to have his shapely thighs wrapped tight around his head, his neck, his waist even, anything. Just hold him there until he fucking dies a happy death between those legs.

Heaven.

[puzzled-pegasus]

Christina Posabule thoughts (tiny little female christ is eating my brain today/pos)

This is mostly me working out some parallels between her and Orel's families but there's some cute hcs for her and Orel in here too :3

Her mom Poppit is influential to her as a parallel to the way that Clay affects Orel. Poppit is selfish, drunk, bitter, and very two-faced parent just like Clay is, who just like him, confidently gives awful advice and takes advantage of Christina's trusting nature.

Art is less involved with Christina and loses interest in conversation with her as soon as anything remotely associated with femininity comes up and he's just like ew gross go talk to your mom. the most positive attention he gives her is about her appearance and how cute or pretty she looks. He likes to constantly condescendingly tell her that any given thing she's interested or asking advice about in the moment is for boys or "a little girl like you doesn't need to worry about that :)" and it drives Christina nuts so she goes and talks to her mom anyway

Similarly to Clay and Orel, Poppit decided to take Christina on a picnic in the woods and they get lost, and Christina gets permanently injured due to her mother's carelessness, though I haven't yet figured out how. (Man, I just realized that if that happened after the events of Nature and Orel found out, he would probably be out for Poppit's BLOOD on behalf of his puppy crush sweetheart)

Idk whose post I read but I'll add the credit in later, but I read earlier the idea that as a parallel to Orel's masochism episode Christina has an arc where she turns sadist and I thought that was fuckin hilarious so yeah I need that to be a thing. I wonder what would set that off though. Maybe instead of taking to heart the idea that suffering is good for her, she might be like "wait friends I don't want you to go to hell for being happy" and beats them up...or smth i dont know. And also as parallel to Orel's dreams of God in that episode she could be like. Beating the shiz out of Satan. Lol. anyway,

I have this feeling that she and Orel have like the sappiest pet names for each other but like you cant even be mad about it cause they're so sincere lol. like they meet up for a date and Orel's casually like "there's my bright little daisy" and Christina is like "oh hello my sweet pudding pie" and then they hold hands and walk to the park or whatever tf

This is a smaller hc but if you remember that moment before the Puppingtons found out the Posabules were Catholic when Clay noticed Orel making 😍 eyes at Christina and he asked Orel if he thinks she was cute,,, I think it would be nice if Poppit and Christina were doing the same thing at that moment like Poppit was like "oh he's a doll isn't he?" And Christina's like "yes, ma'am, and so polite too!" and Poppit says something cheeky about how Christina better not start bringing boys around Art because he'll shoot them or whatever (you know like how dads threaten their daughters' boyfriends for no reason because of weird possession issues) and then they giggle together

Since Orel's been shot Christina worries over him a lot and especially in the first few months of their relationship she kept asking him how much it hurt and and even into adulthood she checks with him every day to make sure he's not exerting himself too much

Christina had a cat briefly and her parents killed it because they thought it was bad luck or smth

instead of "meet me in my study" Poppit's the more involved parent when it comes to discipline so she's just like "go see your father" cus he's the one with the belt

[ryuichirou]

Which twst characters do you and katsu relate to the most or which match your personalities the most?

Oh Anon, you have no idea how excited I am about your ask… Because I already had the pleasure of agonising over this question a year ago, but Katsu didn’t! Now it’s Katsu’s turn to be uncomfortable and vulnerable! So I am as pumped to read this post as you are to be honest lol

I’ll still give you a TL;DR about my situation first though, in case you don’t want to read my old post: I relate to a lot of characters in for a lot of reasons (I think all of us do), and I definitely named a lot of boys lol But those who I have the most kinship with are probably Kalim, Rook, Ortho, Sebek, Azul, Lilia. I mentioned a couple of other guys in my old post, but they either have one specific trait that I find very relatable, or wishful thinking lol

If I had to pick three that I feel second-hand embarrassment from because of recognising some of my traits in their bullshit, I’d say it’s Kalim, Azul and Sebek. What a combination, I know. But my reasoning from the linked post is still the same….

But also! You know what? There is one addition to the list I’d like to make. I think it’s time to admit that I also want to strangle Trey from time to time because of how similar his attitude feels. I don’t think that I  as much of a people-pleaser as I used to be when I was a teen, but there are still moments when I catch myself thinking “I don’t even want to bother with that, it’s easier to give them a non-answer and keep my actual opinion to myself”. This + a bunch of other corny and stupid shit argGghhhh wait do I hate Trey Clover? 🤔🤔🤔🤔

Alright, I’m done lol Thank you for your question! Now for the Katsu’s part:

Katsu:

I’m about to make this post 100 times more awkward with my list lol There’s practically no difference in both of your description, so I’ll treat them interchangeably, Anon, as you probably intended.

I asked for Ryu’s assistance for these explanations because my mind went blank when I sat down to write them.

Also, I’m sorry I wrote so much 😱 I wanted to explain everyone to some extent and it seems I can’t shut up... I’m also very sorry if I sound very entitled. It’s surprisingly hard to write something like this, and I end up sounding like I’m constantly sucking my own dick with “look at how cool I am”. This is very embarrassing, please don’t read this post.

I’m a very generic bitch, so my most relatable/similar character is Idia, like he is for a lot of other people. He has it all: our takes on a lot of things is similar, including the nasty ones; apparently, we’re both good at reading other people’s character; he’s very cynical and has a negative outlook on life; the way we view certain things; our priority for quality time and spending it with those we care about; all the teasing and rude things that he does I actually do as well; our... ehh independence of our views?? idk how to say this better, just coming to conclusions on our own instead of taking the most popular option; Ryu thinks I’m smart (I’m not, and I’m especially not a tech genius and I’m actually bad at playing videogames), but I’d rather name it swings between “I’m a genius” and “I’m shit”, this constant desire to be as objective as possible even when referring to yourself while acknowledging subjective opinions when they’re unavoidable; our relationship with people is terrible in a similar way; the way he puts others down and then himself as well is sometimes word for word what I’ve said to Ryu for all those years we’ve known each other, so self-criticism; our love for art and anime in particular, though I don’t watch or read much anymore; his social... everything, his fear of interactions, his confidence in other people judging him all the time and thinking he’s cringe; his attempts to disappear and go unnoticed; the fact he gives up before even trying a lot of times. I can go on and on... It’s easier to tell where we’re different – I’m not that bold online, I just silently lurk; my internet slang is lackluster at best; I don’t play games that much and I’m not a huge fan of multiplayer games... which might seem nitpicky, but I consider it to be an important part of his personality. I feel like I’ve just tried to describe Idia instead of explaining anything lol Sorry

Jamil is also very relatable, he’s pretty similar to Idia personality wise (at least some of the qualities I mentioned), so I won’t repeat myself in terms of his personality. He’s also tired from everyone’s bullshit. Jamil’s desire for travelling and his love for calm times where everything around is quiet should be mentioned. He has to babysit Kalim, and sometimes I have to do something similar – nobody asks me to, but all this micromanagement that he does for Kalim like organising perfect conditions for him, making sure that everything’s right and being prepared to unpredictable events, although I’m not as consistent as Jamil in this regard. I’m the one to buy tickets, book places, come up with routes, make sure nothing’s forgotten, figure out at what time happens what, where to buy this and that thing, how to get to some place, and other things like that. It’s not like Ryu can’t do this stuff (except for getting somewhere, this bitch has no sense for directions), I just don’t allow it a lot of times lol We don’t want accidents. Ryu also sometimes gets praised for things that I do, that can be super annoying, that’s why I hate it when Ryu tries to brag about me.

Vil... gets a similar reaction from me as he does from Epel. I’d hate to know him irl, although a lot of points he makes are actually very true. He holds himself and others to a very high standard which is what I also do, but we do it in different areas. We both workout, although I’m nowhere near his routine or his diet, of course, but the discipline aspect of it is important. The most similar thing is our passion for True Art, the way we view it, the way we approach it, and the way we understand how audience works. Our love for cinema, I watch a lot of movies, but I’m not a nerd when it comes to them. I’m not a film bro- oh wait I actually am. The more you know. Also, all the movies Ryu watches usually come from me.

Ace – the entire first book, from the moment he got a cauldron dropped on him (before that I wanted to punch him). He’s somewhat chill, he doesn’t like anyone’s bs and he hates rules that don’t make sense. He’s relaxed to a certain degree (sometimes too much lol), and the things he appreciate in relationships (both friendly and romantic) are the same for me. Our love for fun stuff, to a certain degree for me though, but not the same level of irresponsibility, as I’m usually the one to chicken out and bail. Not always, though! Ace also gets a grasp of things quickly, but forgets them just as fast.

Floyd – the desire to tease/bully serious people is too strong 😔 Plus, extreme mood swings with losing interest, but these are not nearly as common as his. Sometimes you have tons of fun, and then a second later, in an instant, you lose the spark.

Malleus – we just like to wander somewhere... his love for ruins, but I’m yet to meet someone who doesn’t like them or their aesthetics lol His isolation, and Ryu says the way we say/ask/do things sometimes is similar. Also most based overblot reason ever (same for Idia and Vil though). I’d probably be able to point out his character traits better if we saw book 7, but that’s it for now.

Epel – he hates girly stuff lmao His toxic masculinity is relatable for my teen years, and the way his speech is impolite (in my case, I just swear a lot though). He’s somewhat of a slow learner and he cringes from doing cute and girly stuff.

Deuce – he is so adorable... ahem. The way he struggles with learning is relatable, and the feeling when you put yourself fully into something and still fail. I managed to get great/normal marks, but the amount of knowledge I actually have is laughable. Deuce is very earnest, me too, in some ways, but I’m not nearly as proactive as he is. I wouldn’t bother.

Leona – sometimes I get bored in the middle of the day and go to sleep lol Usually it happens when Ryu’s around and draws something, and we have only one desk, so there’s nothing for me to do. Leona’s also lazy. That’s the entire reason Leona is on this list.

[zeondraws]

I always wonder why I have been so busy the past months but then I remember all the things I'm doing with SWTD:

(this is more of a thought post about my life/thoughts/feelings than a lore post! Ignore if you are not interested in this, I don't mind)

Taking Screenshots

Multiple recording sessions (for audio or funny moments, and so on)

Multiple playthroughs of the game

Doing an AU for some reason

Drawing the characters (much art)

Also learning how to use procreate, while my big tablet is packed away until November

Working on a video project

Learning how to use OBS

Datamining the gamefiles for more info with fmodel

troubleshooting fmodel because it's showing me the middle finger for the billionth time

learning how to use a dumper to get mappings file (to view files in fmodel)

learning how to install mods and learn how to use them

troubleshooting my pc or laptop because of my silly shenanigans

rebuilding the models in blender while simultaneously watching blender tutorials to understand what the hell I'm doing

read about TCR's other games and play them (I still have to play Little Orpheus)

Trying to research movies or any blogpost/YouTube posts regarding the game

Other types of research that I can't think of right now

Sharing results with others and discuss the findings to figure lore out

confusedscreaming.mp4

????

It has a lot of reasons why I am super determined and stubborn? when it comes to something I'm passionate about. (It's really hard to explain)

Family always dismissed my hobbies and didn't support me much for them. They often gave me false promises and made me wait for nothing

Often treating me like a baby, as if I can't think for myself. I had to fight a lot for my passions the past decade or so. Even dealing with a former coworker who was very manipulative and tried very hard to belittle me.

I can't even explain all the stress I had to endure because of my old job. Constantly monitored for mistakes, constantly shoved to a corner, freedom taken away, bullied, my feelings had been manipulated so much that I just.. had entire months where I cried every single day. And I'm not even kidding, I went to work in fear, I walked home in fear, I woke up in fear. I still remember that evening where I was so afraid of everything. I was so scared to even be in my apartment, I just balled my eyes out because it was too much at that moment.

Only thing that kept me going was my determination, hope.. daydreams. . and seeking out help (therapy, friends) and using the anger I felt for my coworker to work on my art/passions and show myself that I'm not worthless.

Sometimes my coworker would treat me badly on some days, so after I went home I used my anger and sadness to make art. Even if I sat there drawing for 5h. It did help me to improve a ton in my skills.

I think that event made me go through this journey of? self reflection and growth. It's wild how much happened after that.

Family wasn't helpful in this painful time period, one told me I'll end up alone, that I shouldn't talk to people online or that I should be happy to have a job (Talking to family is like talking to a wall). Or another family member who tries so hard to treat me like an object.

It fills me with anger, but they're all I've got. I thankfully have many friends I can go to when needed, but I wouldn't be able to fully abandon my family. It's probably because I felt so down when my mother passed away over two years ago. I haven't talked to her in years because of her mental condition, but her passing hit me badly.

I have struggled for a while to work on other skillsets because I was too afraid, doing videos, blender, drawing humans idk why, maybe no confidence in myself to try it out

.. Suddenly swtd gets released and my head does a 360 and is like "I'm going to learn all of this now, hold my bear". Using my obsession about this game to learn something new, which helped me overcome so many hurdles. Like the amount of times I threw myself out of my comfort zone while I tried to fiddle with the game.

Like, look at the difference in my human art

This is the first time I drew Muir like.. I forgot when I drew this, two months ago?

And then like this is from a few days ago

... *compares* I don't know how to explain the difference, I think there is one-

Like,. It's hard to compliment myself because of the sheer amount of stress I endured over the year. I've been out of the old job for 3 weeks now. I'm so glad I'm out of there.

I remember how I always wanted to draw an entire dragon, not just a bust. And look I ended up drawing one!! Ok with Roper's head but yea!

I think family difficulties and other events made me feel very detached from others. I never felt/feel like I belong anywhere. I moved so often that this feeling persisted. And it may persist for who knows how long. I only recently got a diagnosis, I have a form of depression, but it's somewhat mild. Hence why I'm still able to perform in daily tasks and work. Tho I don't want to use my condition as an excuse, I rather just want to show that I'm capable of something. That even people who struggle mentally can find success in what they do.

Life throws so many hurdles but I think I am slowly used to living in the chaotic environment. I keep drawing and work on my hobbies while I wait to move apartments.

I try very hard to change my mindset even tho my mind had been so used to the negative spirals. But I try to stay determined and keep on learning. I am not all knowing and I need to remember that mistakes are ok and that I need them to keep learning and have progress.

I've been pushing aside so many thoughts while I messed with the game. Even tho it's 2AM I needed a quiet moment to think about it all.

I am very open with my thoughts and feelings, it's what I usually do on my Instagram account when I post my art.

Tomorrow is another day to learn something new.

[bulbabutt]

god i just went through my own art tag since like... ever doing the turtles thing on here and i just find it so funny that every thing ive done has essentially started as "this will be funny i hope people laugh" and then it slowly grows more emotional depth and then i end up PUNCHING u in the gut w feels IVE LITERALLY DONE THIS MULTIPLE TIMES.......

haha what if rise leo got out funnied by 87 raph WOMP HES CRYING IN OTHER LEOS ARMS NOW

haha what if rise donnie tries to kill 87 donnie WOMP NEITHER OF THEM GET ENOUGH PRAISE AND BOND OVER IT

haha what if the 03 turtles watch star trek WOMP GET WORM GENDER EUPHORIA FUCKHEADS

which isnt me trying to toot my own horn or anything, i just really have appreciated the encouragement over the past uh. year and a half? that everyone has given me? like theres been ups and downs, but i gained a lot of confidence and felt like trying new things and being more creative. so many of the silly things ive enjoyed doing to make you laugh have turned into very genuine moments of joy and tears. like i genuinely have appreciated everybody who's ever looked at my work and said something nice idk WHAT i would be doing without that. like idk where else i would ever have felt comfortable enough to turn something like "what if the turtles watched star trek" into "mikey comes out as genderfluid" without people being so fucking nice and willing to hear me out and let me be sincere.

i always feel like i havent actually done that much art, but then i look back and im like whoa. wait thats actually a lot. and comics? strips and otherwise? ive never done that before! it just happened cuz people started being kind about my ideas and now ive gotten so much better! ive mentioned this before, but like i hadnt done art in....years. we're talkin 5 year gap at least. not for lack of trying. but honestly i often feel very dejected about my abilities and compare my work to others often. feel too old to be as amateur as i am. but genuinely, its meant a lot to just spread joy about something i like regardless of how good or bad i ever think i am at it. truly theres just a level of sincere kindness to things i create now that idk if i ever would have found without how nice and open people are.

bleh, idk where that all came from i guess just wanna say like ay im proud of me and im proud of you, lets all keep being kind to each other it makes us better ❤️

[inquiscissors]

!!!!!

LOVED the gameplay trailer! Now that it's been a minute, so for posterity, here's my first take on it all:

- I'm choosing to enjoy the stylized-realistic art style, glad everyone looks like they belong in the same game (was a little confused after the trailer, bc especially Harding and Emmrich kind if seemed to be in pretty different styles? but all seems to be in order after all✌️)

- to be entirely honest, I was a little worried that it would be hard to take things seriously in a more stylized game (despite origins looking, well... like it's from 2009, DA2 looking like it was made in about a year, and inquisition's over the top sad face™️, but somehow my nervous shit brain chose to completely ignore all that and worry anyway), but that scene at the temple hit me HARD.... I could write a whole thing about how Varric goes into it so boldly and jokingly and how this persona just evaporates when he sees how serious and SAD Solas is... All that just to say, I'm not worried about that anymore🙏

- so excited to see all the different ways we can move compared to earlier games!! balancing! vaulting!! (climbing and swimming, maybe?? hopefully??👀)

- incredible scenery, VERY cool atmosphere in Minrathous - it feels big and imposing, and like you could really get lost there

- on that note, I'm really hoping for day/night and weather cycles, though I'll be fine with keeping to the zones rather than an open world - but I hope we get to see Minrathous in daylight as well❤️

- I could honestly do without the sci-fi leaning design elements, but I don't mind them - I am hoping for a creative in-game explanation for them though👀

- LOVE the return to having both short and long range weapons equipped! I've really missed this since Origins, so it's cool to see it return🙏

- You actually have to aim with a bow! And you have limited ammo! in general the combat felt more up-close and personal than inquisition, and I feel like things like limited ammo lends itself really well to the small, grassroots-like group like the Veilguard, where you don't have the unlimited resources of an organization like the Inquisition (the Inquisitor can't really be seen running out of arrows in the middle of their heroic moment, surely), as well as from a game design standpoint where you can do limited ammo BECAUSE you have the option of melee, which you couldn't do in DA2 or inquisition

- the ability/tactics screen seems a bit daunting, and I'm glad the game pauses when you go to use it😅 I'm confident it'll be easy enough to get familiar with though, as figuring out the mechanics hasn't really been part of the challenge of beating the game before

once again, my most pressing concerns have been put to rest, and I'm so excited for this game🙏 completely unrelated to the game-play trailer, one of the biggest assurances I've seen these last few days is that BioWare has been keeping council with a selection of prominent fans of the franchise for the last few years(!) of development, meaning that they have made a big effort to actually stay in touch with what the fans want from the game, which was HUGE news (to me at least, idk I'd this was kind of an open secret that I hadn't picked up on or smth, but I had no idea lol)

[lemonsilly]

WAAAAGHH!!! YAYAYYYYYY!!!! I have spent the last like six years thinking about this man. I play with him like a doll. Apocalypse stuff,,,,, waaaughh. and john crocker?? working with corporate interests/rebellion and trying to feel out a relationship. writing something really good right now with d/john crocker. and alpha davekat?? where they're both dilfs? i mean come on. i'm not a hs2 guy and i avoid it as much as possible but captain karkat is an exception and i want him to be a rebellion leader combining troll forces with alpha strilonde's mobilized human resources in a wartime setting. like. there's so much to do.

-KD

anon i accidentally wrote too much heres a read more :sob:

tw for drugs anon i hope you dont get the ick from me /j

YIPPEEEEE YES!!!!!!!!! OHHH YESSSS APOCALYPSE STUFFF YESS OMGGGG OHH GODDD i love alpha davejohn so much i litearlly play with them like barbie dolls!!!! i love kinda putting them in a hollywood setting too bc idk im a huge bojack horseman fan and i kind of love playing with celebrity aus esp if you combine the fact that dave is going against a literal Alien Regime (granted most of it is subliminal but its like . enough to kinda piss off the condesce so he always has to have a target on his back kind of .

when i write a!dave i kinda take the approach of how no-game versions of yourself come out very flawed, as the game is supposed to improve yourself as a person and if you dont play the game, fate is kinda just not good to ur personhood. (ie dirk becoming bro is the biggest contender for this but i feel as if this also counts for jake, roxy, and maybe a little jane but i really need to reread the comic a third time to be confident in that statement .. i think this is a bit different for the trolls, however, as the ancestors are much more glorious who knows maybe its bc we dont rly know them? but then again w/ the dancestors (and ig the guardians) theres just this overall theme of "not knowing ur parents (whether that be troll or human)")

ANYWAY TANGENT ASIDE i really think that alpha dave would be a very flawed person, i can see him kind of getting caught up in that hollywood glory especially since i'd kind of view him as a bit attention-seeking, really wanting to be seen as like hollywood's darling and he puts on a cool, nonchalant, funny, charismatic front (knight moment!!) to achieve that (pretty much most previously tumblr favorite male celebrities that fell off, i think). god i could really go into detail but it would make this post WAY longer than it already is

so like my interpretation is like. this dilfy egotistical needy guy who PROBABLY does coke on the regular because of course . ugh i wish i had a good interpretation of my ver of alpha dave, i TECHNICALLY have this comic that has been kinda abandoned since i lost the login in for it (it was a twitter account "interactive comic" series, however be warned bc its my old writing style AND THE ART IS SO BAD and tbh its soooo cringy ughhh i cant believe i thought that was a good idea im crying ... it does have a tumblr though so maybe i can continue it there and just try to save it lol heres the tumblr link )

BUT ON THE GOOD SIDE OF HIM THOUGH i definitely think he does have good virtues, and wants to like. fight off the regime, hes very adamant on that and his efforts to save earth from HIC's colonization are very noble (again, hes a knight, knights are there to protect !! its in his blood!). so its kind of a mixed bag of him like trying to sustain his career while also fighting - at least subtly - against HIC. i can imagine like the weeks or so leading up to his death he began to get a bit more vocal about it, whether that was bc he was gearing up to fucking kill her and her government or maybe impulsivity? who knows.

i do think from the start though, HIC tries to sabotage both his and rose's careers because she knows what theyre up to and she Does Not Like It. and i feel like thats kinda where John comes into play, bc while i KNOWWW canon john crocker broke away from his mother and did his own thing, i think itd be rly interesting if John sort of enters Dave's life as a way to get him off course BUT IT BACKFIRES SO FAST bc johns overall a nice guy and also lowkey wants to kiss this FREAK so he kinda has to balance his mothers approval, the crocker company, and so on. its especially hard bc jades gone atp so basically ever since he was a kid he kinda only had himself so hes like UMm. Ummm. Hm. and thats why i kinda portray him to be a lil evil too in my A!JD interpretations not bc he is evil but more bc hes kinda following both corporate interests and his mothers orders

AS FOR DAVEKAT im not rly a davekat girlie myself but i do adore your vision KD, GOD i love it so much and i can imagine karkat and dave's views of how to go aghainst this regime both differing and it causes lots of bickering and fightings. and sloppy makeouts

SORRY FOR THIS TANGENT i just rly love talking abt alpha dave hes my little guy

[gho2ty]

my turn to go on a little ooc emotional ramble about rp. cw for poor mental health discussion halfway through

im starting with that g2 has been a comfort character for me for. so long. sooo long. i put this guy through hell and then i patched him right back up. good for him.

ive truly loved writing g2 and being around and, like, i SUCK at personal blogging. to this day ive never held down a personal or even an art blog long before teetering to inactivity and often just flat out feeling embarrassed about posting because i feel immensely boring and awkward as a person. like. innately. idk.

rp has always been a way for me to be more comfortable just sharing with the class in a way that has a buffer of characterization and confidence that comes with it + the awareness that on an rp blog ppl want to talk to my muse! thats why ppl follow! thats what its all about!

cw for mental health kicks in now to say

this year has been exceedingly hard for me, my depression was the worst i had ever seen it and i was very suicidal, which made being on g2 a pretty laborious thing since i was already going through my days not having any outlet and then going into rp as my off-time hobby i also didnt use g2 as my outlet out of respect for where i had written him to be! i wasnt around much and kind of very vaguely said that a couple times i think.

because this blog has pretty much been my replacement for all of a social media presence.. and nearly social presence at all, i really wanted to take a moment to say i think of everyone around as my friends and i truly enjoy the time i spend on here. im glad ive been doing better enough to be around more as g2 because i missed everyone

& shoutout to all the new and returning faces!!! its so nice. the community needs that. glad to have you.

[ardenssolis]

Name — Shi

Pronouns — she/her or they/them

Preferred comms — Discord buuut I don't like giving my Discord out unless we've been interacting and talking for a while nowadays, so I am trapped in the hell known as IM until then. Honestly, though, I have a tendency to get into writing or doing other things and forget anyone talked to me sometimes either way so--- 😭

Name of muse — Ozymandias

Experience in RP — I've been rping since I was a kid back in forever ago before I even really knew what rping was. It all started on a chat site and I wasn't sure what was going on but I liked it LMFAO. I think it was probably about middle school-ish time for me. 6th grade I guess??? So a while.

Best experiences — AAAAA many! I think some of my best experiences rping was when I was doing things with my friends on Twitter and Deviantart. They always inspired me to draw and we were constantly designing characters / joining art rp groups back then which helped me improve drastically. Ughugh I miss doing things like that sometimes.

Pet peeves / dealbreakers — Godmodding. The quickest way to make me drop a thread is making Ozy do something or saying he did something without consulting with me. That's a pretty big dealbreaker for me as I've been put in really uncomfortable situations as a result of people doing this. Also instantly coming at me with ship ideas is a bit of a put off if we like...have literally done one thing / I barely even know you. I had that happen day one of me making Ozy and it almost made me want to leave before I even did anything. Only time I will shake you around and be like, "yeah let's gooooo!" is if we've known one another a long time / I'm comfortable enough to do that.

Muse preference ( fluff, angst, smut ) — That depends. I love writing things where it's deeply discussion based over beliefs, philosophies, and the like. Emotionally charged threads too since that gets my muse really going, but it doesn't need to quite be angst so IDK AAAAAA. Fluff is okay sometimes, although Ozy isn't exactly 'fluffy' most of the time and it's a 50/50 with him and his fickle moods. Smut is nice to write every now and then too because there can be a lot of characterization in intimate moments like this. I don't think I have any kind of definite preference when I think about it -rubs chin-

Plot or memes — Memes usually (or just throwing unprompted stuff in my inbox)! My attention span is absolutely terrible. I like plotting but I have a tendency to slowly lose interest if it goes on for a while as I like getting the barebones as to what we're going to do, have some discussion, then jumping straight into making a thread. Discussing things as we go along and have things already started is just more fascinating for me.

Long or short replies — I loooove long replies, but those tend to be done at a slower pace unless the muse is really gripping me by the throat. I remember the days when I wasn't working and I could get through like ten threads a day or something but thinking about that now has me like, "how did I even do this?" So a nice mixture of short and long is nice! That way I can pick and choose what I feel like replying to that day.

Best time to write — In the weeee hours of the night mainly -- and with music! ////

Are you like your muse — Not even remotely amg. Ozy's too much of everything. He's loud, he's arrogant, and his confidence levels are off the charts on a good day whereas I prefer to be left to my devices, avoiding conversation or faking it till I make it with people, and then dying when I get home because boy was that too much extroverted activity for me FKJSDFHKSDFDS

Tagged by: @lobiita (thank you turbo!)

Tagging: Take it!

[jaycrakhead]

Gauche x Grey (Greyche analysis) PART 1

(not me promoting my art as the cover)

Heyaa So, the purpose of this analysis is just...I don't know I was bored KQKQOWK and I’ve been wanting to make an analysis on these two with manga and anime info (besides personal opinions) for a while now; It's just my take, you don’t need to agree with anything I’ll be saying. I just wanted to talk EDUHUEID- This will have two parts, since the first part is pretty much a non romantic analysis and it already is too much text to deal with EIUDIOEDHDH shit gets serious on the second part. Of course there will be spoilers for anime and manga- (NOTE: I won't go into terms and name meanings since I believe it's already talked a lot so yeah. Sorry if there's any mistakes, I'm just a bro talking about Greyche) WELL TO GET STARTED, BRIEF INFO ABOUT THEM:

Gauche Adlai, member of the Black Bulls, fallen royal, ex convict, possesses Mirror Magic and has an extreme obsession with his younger sister Marie Adlai. This obsession often leads to comedic or just cringe situations. (or just people starting to hate him in general) I think his "character purpose/lesson" (idk how to put it) is about "trust" and "protect". Especially about learning to trust others and creating bonds with other people, because not everyone will betray him. People aren't the same, and I get the feeling of trauma where you are backstabbed and therefore your defensive levels rise and your trust levels lower. It's fucked up and with his background is even more fucked up. But it’s all a life learning experience on “how he can trust others besides himself (and Marie)”. Well he a tsundere mf MAKQLQOW just joking (or not) I also think his "character purpose/lesson" is about "taking a look at others besides himself (and Marie)". [inserts mirror brigades]

Grey, true name unknown, member of the Black Bulls, Cinderella backstory, shy and socially awkward that struggles with self-esteem af. But it is understandable do to her back story. She was believed to possess Transformation Magic, but later on Owen called it "Transmutation Magic". Personally I like to call it "Fairy Godmother Type of shit" I think it suits it pretty much. Well, she used to hide her true form and walk around as a big ass scary dude, because she feared to not be accepted by others due to her true appearance and so on, so she chose/embraced that appearance because it maybe reflects on how she sees herself after all. I think her "character purpose/lesson" is like about overcoming her insecurities and actually let herself see her true self for what she truly is and not what her fears, her abusive family and insecurities showed/show her to be. Basically "taking a better look at herself".

I think both of them have their issues just so rooted since they were younger and that's why it's so current on them. Gauche's obsession and trust issues and Grey's terrible self-esteem and lack of confidence. Both MIRROR (hehehe) their "character purpose/lesson": Gauche needs to "take a better look at others besides himself" and Grey needs to "take a better look at herself"; Besides of course how ironic it is for Gauche to have Mirror Magic and Grey having a complete messed up pov of herself. I can see both trying to be the best versions of themselves. Grey always trying to improve, and Gauche working on his rude behavior and actually showing to trust and protecting others. And of course they pretty much mirror each other in moods. So, before talking about their moments of this first part, I just wanna say: 1) I'mma cover their moments but I won't do a complilation of all their frames together just... breathing side to side. I do want to state that they are framed together A LOT so keep that just in mind; 2) I also wanna say that I have a little theory that Gauche might have ironically self esteem issues too (not so high like Grey but there's something sus there). Like he seems conscious of his attitudes and on how he is a bastard that “shouldn’t even be saved” by his friends. Like he seems to feel guilty about it idk. Besides that, something caught me and it is probably nothing BUT he states that he has been hiding his left eye before he used the mirror tool for the first time and I can't stop thinking that he finds it creepy idk why. Also I wonder the story behind that mirror tool. 3) And finally about their Grimoires, I do see the mirror detail on Grey's but Gauche's, I don't see at all that theory where it is a "wrapped present" or something like that. I don't have a firm opinion on what his Grimoire detail might symbolize but I think both are mirrors, Grey's has no reflection and Gauche's has. But I’m not really sure.

WELL NOW LET'S BEGIN

Before the Seabed Temple arc, I don’t think there’s something relevant at all to be talked between them as that Grey’s true form wasn’t even revealed yet. If I'm wrong and something relevant happened comment on it please iujiorfjrf- However at the Seabed Temple arc:

(Chapter 66) I think their fight agaisnt Zarick (the aftermatch) is really funny and showed good dynamic and partnership between them even if Gauche ordered around. A funny first actual interaction to show us DEHUDHE Also thanks Grey for giving us goofy Gauche.

Also I love how Grey is willing to kill UDEIIDHIUED YES SIR LET'S DO IT The piggyback ride is also iconic Okay now the highlight that is "actually relevant", the compliment and the infamous "Gauche blushed" "He nosebleed before pulling the picture" and yara yara

Well, Gauche compliments Grey's magic which makes Grey go doki doki, since she probably didn't get complimented at all before. She of course took to heart that compliment to her magic, but since it came from Gauche (due to all the backstory where he is envolved) she takes it even more to heart. Also It's funny whenever Gauche is sincere he looks away from everyone udieuduh I just wanted to comment on that because same.

Well, the transformation starts to go off, Gauche believed Grey was just that big ass scary dude walking around, and then PUFF Grey's true form revealed.

Truly I don't think Gauche either blushed or nosebleed at her before pulling the picture. idk how debatable is that but to me he just didn't. And it is okay HIEUDHIUEHD. If he pulled the picture as an excuse? I don't know, I don't believe it either... only when I see it. I think it was too early for something and well Charmy comments on how he isn't looking at Grey at all. At this early point in the story not even Grey wanted Gauche (or anyone really) to look at all at her as she says (or admits to herself) later on. So I think it's pretty much "balanced" for something in it's early stages?

If it matters he was at least listening to the conversation but that still doesn't say anything at all (at least to me), it's sus of him caring enough to listen? A bit, but mf was right there so yeah it would be natural for him to hear. I just think they were still building up just partnership, and it's totally fine. If you disagree and Gauche showed interest, it's fine too <3 After that in the anime they are there, but it's not relevant at all. And for this arc is basically it. At the Royal Knights Arc, during the exam in the anime, they are pretty much just there or framed besides each other but that's pretty much it, honestly they play a bigger part later on. But I felt like mentioning.

(Chapter 138) We are now taking a look at the AWKWARD TRIAD

Again it's all about more partnership rather than any romance or such between them. And of course partnership is impoortant as fuck too. Which is nice to me see that partnership before anything else, sorry if I like the slowest of the slowburns. Well Gordon and Grey struggle to well… socialize as they are the three "equality quiet friends" (As Gordon refers it, but to me they are just the AWKWARD TRIAD). In Grey's anxious pov, she states how she should try to be more herself since her comrades see her as one of them. Then she says in a smaller speech that "Even Gauche" complimented her, and that's basically an encoragement for her to try to be herself since even THAT STONE HEARTED GUY complimented her DIUEDHIUHDIHE kidding Since Gauche is rude and has a defensive posture towards everyone in general it is kind of a "reassurance" for her that if even him said something nice, then it must be okay. Grey pretty much sees a good side to Gauche despite his behaviour that himself sees as something bastard of nature.

Well Grey picks up her big balls and tries to make conversation with Gauche. Gauche is just... Gauche and well it's funny UDEIUDHe

Then shit is about to get real at the hideout,

and we all know what happened next. Gauche won't be playing anymore after that. also I wanted to state that

Mf just didn't went to bathroom through the whole thing UEDUDIU sad ;-;

(Chapters 139-140) So shit breaks out at the hideout and we have the awkward triad working together. We have just mainly small Greyche moments of them. Like the fact that (as we knew) Grey took to heart what Gauche said and that made her learn really quickly another spell. (It took her 5 years to learn her first one) And so on, I also think (I hope I'm not mistaken) that in the anime they talk at the same time a few times but I'm not sure, however it's just funny nothing really OMG.

also this is also funny:

(Chapter 141) We have Gauche encouraging Grey. She is of course doubtfull she can transform something big as that salamander and Gauche reasures her that it will be fine and they look at each other. I was going to say "He tells her to look at him" but "they looked at each other" sounds more meaningful.

aaah the brigades. We have one of the first Grey Mirrors Brigades, since he seems to mirror brigade her a lot through the story. I feel like I've seen it 20 times which I know i didn't but it's the feeling. Which in strategic purposes it's great and all but this is a ship analysis so SUS

and that's pretty much it for this arc Elf Reincarnation Arc:

(Chapter 149)

I just wanna comment this small detail. On how sus it is to put Grey there in frame. Not to say that it means a lot because to me things weren't really romantic until the timeskip, but it's just sus. And I wanted to comment on that. Doesn't make sense at all to include her if it wasn't something to become sus. Maybe Grey was framed there just because, but it wasn't necessary at all specially since Gordon would look more likely to be framed there at that distance. It's just sus, it bothered me while reading IDEIUHDEIUDH. I WAS VENTING

BUT HEY

THEIR FIRST KISS UHDEUHDH It's just so funny to me also sus that he should have hit Gordon's forehead SINCE HE WAS IN HIS FACE, but hey here's their first kiss. Thanks for stepping back Gordon, you are a true bro.

Well moving on (and yes I'm not talking about the fight at all because well sure Grey was fighting for him like everyone else and she didn't want to lose any of her friends) Here's the thing, where Gauche thinks of himself as a little bitch that should be left behind. And despite that they still consider him basically family, and of course despite not being shown, we know Grey still sees a good side to him too.

and next, the main panel that makes me say that his "character purpose/lesson" is to look at others, especially those 3. I find it meaningful Asta saying "Look at us" since "Look at me" is Gauche's line.

Well for that arc it's basically all, after the last thing mentioned they are just framed side to side.

However when they return, I DO KNOW the Return episode, is filler but I really wanted to comment on how Grey called Gauche a wall for her to hide EDIUDHEIUHD And he took it personally IDHIUEHD

Okay MOVING ON For the last part of this first part of the analysis

(Chapter 223) Well Yami implied them all are friends or get along at least, (I know if I don't mention it somebody might point it out) On the anime, Gauche comments on things Grey says like the fact that she is feeling overwhelmed at the thought of being cursed by someone she doesn't know, but focusing of the "person she doesn't know "part and he is all like "THE PART OF BEING FUCKING CURSED DOESN'T SCARE YOU?" Now at Gordon's House Gate, Grey clings to Gauche and he doesn't seem to be comfortable at all, but well it doesn't matter since later on it's just another day for him EUDEdh And Grey clings and hides behind him whenever she needs. I like the fact that in the anime Asta looks at them all like "What the fuck is going on here?", you can still see him looking at them in the manga but he looks so awkward in the anime IEHDIUEHDH

Then at the Agrippa family dinner I find it hilarious that Gauche feels awkward (such an achievement) and he whispers to Grey telling her to say something, like she would even talk UDEIDHEUHD on the first place EIDIHE well at least in the anime he took care of the weird shit Gordon's sister gave Grey.

Well here's a cute panel

WELL GUYS we've reached the end of the first part. The second part will include actually more analysing on things since shit starts to get serious from now on. I wanted to look at things from the early stages and since they are a side ship there's not that much to look at before what's upcoming so yeah. (I mean there's A LOT to look at since they are framed a lot together, but actual things happening it a bit less on this part at least) NEXT UP -Episode 150 -Rest of the storyline until chapter 368 -The Movie -Probably me just rambling about them

I hope you liked this It's just for fun <3

[reginalusus]

I hate query writing. I hate query writing. I fucking hate query writing.

Pardon the random vent. IDK, I'm just frustrated with this. I know most of my followers are here for my art and discussions, but if you didn't know, I also have original stuff I'm working on. If you're an early follower of mine, you might recall me talking briefly about my original novel.

Errr, you don't need to read this if you're not interested, lmao. I just need to talk about it on something, lol.

I'm pretty confident in the novel. It's ready to be sent to literary agents. But there is a blockade: query writing. I hate query writing.

I want to die. /j

I'm workshopping my query with some folks at the moment. I need constructive feedback on my query, because I know I suck at it. I suck balls at writing queries. This is not an excuse for it at all, but I feel like one of the reasons I suck is because I'm neurodivergent and I absolutely do not have a good grasp on squeezing an 85K adult, grimdark, fantasy novel into less than 300 words. Maybe that's not the reason, actually... maybe I do just suck and I'm grasping for excuses.

Novel writing is so, so, SO different from writing a query, I feel like no one gets this. The problem I'm facing is that I cannot for the life of me choose which plot points should go in the query without making it seem cliché and boring. (I have a better semblance of that now thanks to recent feedback, but still...)

My novel does have a simple three-act structure. However, what those three acts entail are NOT simple and contain a lot of action, character development/interactions etc. that all combine together to make the overall story and plot even more enticing.

I know for a fact my novel is not a run-of-the-mill fantasy novel, but my query makes it seem like it is at certain points and I HATE it.

What's worse, the feedback I'm getting is very conflicting. Some people say to focus on this or that, while others say to do the opposite. Last week, I received a good breakdown of what I should do in the query. One of the comments were to make the tone darker and to focus on the 'grimdark' element. So, I did.

But now, I'm being told I shouldn't do that. That it drags the query down and makes them not want to read any longer. *Screams.*

I am very thankful for the people that are helping me, but it's getting to a point where I simply don't know which feedback to take on because they're all different from one another. It feels like my brain is just fizzling out. Is it embarrassing to admit that I actually cried in frustration today over it?

*Sigh.* IDK, man. I've spent a long time on this novel. It's matured and grown and I want to share it with the world. I've sacrificed so much for it, and it's went through drafts and edits that I never imagined it would go through. But they only made it better.

But the fact that a measly query letter is stopping me from getting it out there makes me feel like I'm going to have a heart attack, lmao.

I can't give up though. I'd love to hear from other writers on this topic (you don't have to though, I know I'm being a little self-indulgent here).

[dotster001]

Oooh, this looks fun! I guess I'll request for Court of Darkness. The first path I chose was Rio because he seemed like the only sane person at the time. I'm glad I did because he's a literal ray of sunshine and I could not ask for a better friend. I'm reading Guy's route (ew) for Aquia. He's just so sweet, and quite frankly the best part of reading either Guy or Jasper's path. When he said that I was his first love, I wanted so badly to requite his feelings. Can I have a fluffy romantic story with me and Aquia pls?

As for the info about me, I'm just gonna copy and paste what I wrote for one of my earlier requests so... Here ya go

Appearance: I am a 165 cm tall, average build, South Asian woman. I have wavy black hair that reaches my shoulders and I usually dress in South Asian attire, usually salwar-kameez. I also wear glasses. I don't really feel comfortable going out without them 😅

My MBTI and enneagram: INTJ 5w4

Star sign: Sagittarius sun, Virgo moon and rising

Sexuality: demiromantic asexual

Personality: I'm pretty calm, collected and hard-working for the most part. People say I'm intelligent, quiet, and polite. I can be sarcastic at times, although people often say it's hard to tell when I'm being sarcastic. I'm probably the most emotional unemotional person I know. I don't really show a whole lot of facial expressions, but I do feel things more deeply than people give me credit for. I also tend to get overwhelmed easily, especially when I'm in really noisy places for prolonged periods of time (Cries in neurodivergent. Maybe. IDK I've never been diagnosed. I'm just calling it symptoms disorder for now). When people get to know me, they say that I'm a good listener and that they feel safe to speak their mind to me. My favourite hobbies include reading, playing video games, listening to classical and lofi hip-hop, and making art. I especially like to draw and paint things that radiate a sense of comfort, nostalgia and serenity. Someone also told me that my artworks also hold a sort of innocence in the composition of the shapes, colours and the overall vibe of what I draw/paint.

(I may have spelled Acquia's name wrong this entire thing.... don't worry about it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the time with your squishy boy!)

A Tale Where Aquia's Feelings are Requited, and Rio Helps it all go down

Rio had been there for you from the moment you set foot in the world. So he was also there to watch as you and Acquia started to fall for eachother. There were two problems though. The first was Acquia didn't have the confidence to confess his feelings. The , was that his big brother, whom he respected above all else, seemed to still think he could own you.

But Rio was a determined man. A determined man who thrived off making the people around him happy. 

"Good work, mate! That dough is coming along nicely. Just need it for a couple more minutes and it should be good!"

Food brought people together, right? Well, by Rio's calculations, proving bread dough would keep people together for at least an hour. 

"This is fun! Thanks for inviting me to bake with you," Acquia laughed, unperturbed by the flour covering his clothes. 

"Hey Rio, what is it you wanted?"

Perfect timing. Right as they'd have to wait for the bread dough to rise, you arrived in the room. 

"Hey! I was hoping you could draw a picture of Acquia for me. You know, since he's such a good friend I wanted to send a picture of him home so my father would know what he looks like."

It was a flimsy excuse at best. But he was hoping that with the simmering feelings you had for each other, neither of you would question him. 

"Okay," you seemed hesitant, and Acquia was a blushing mess, but you were sitting down and taking out a notepad.

"I'll add color later, right now it'll just be a rough sketch. Just go about as normal, Acquia."

Acquia nodded, but seemed at a loss. But Rio was prepared for this.

"Oy! Rio! There's a weird weed we need to get out of the garden!"

Thoma rushed into the room with his pre-prepared excuse. It wasn't good acting, but it would suffice.

"Ah, I should see to that."

Both of you stood up, seemingly ready to help.

"No no, you guys have to stay here and watch the dough. Don't take it out of the drawer until it has at least doubled in size."

Then he and Thoma left you both, triumphant grins on their faces.

        

                               ….

"I hope they're okay," Acquia muttered.

It had been quite a while since Rio and Thoma had left, and if you knew anything about Saligian plants, it was that it was very possible for them to eat humans.  But you weren't going to upset Acquia.

"Rio's tough, I'm sure he's fine."

"Yeah, you're right. He probably got hungry and went out for a victory snack."

You finished up the final touches of your sketch, then set down your pencil.

"Okay, all done!"

You pushed the paper over to Acquia, and held back a giggle as he started blushing again.

"This is how you see me? I look so….I guess the word is sweet."

"Well yeah," you said matter of factly. "You're my sweet Acquia."

"Your Acquia?" 

That's when you realized how it sounded, and got flustered yourself. Not that you meant it any other way, but you didn't know if he was ready for that.

"I…" he whispered, "I'd like to be yours."

"R-really?" You found yourself caught off guard.

"I mean….yeah. I like the idea of being your Acquia. It makes me feel," he blew out a frustrated breath, like he couldn't find the word he was looking for.

"I guess the idea of being yours makes me very happy," he finished, nodding to himself.

"Well, if you're mine, then I have to be yours. Those are the rules," you said, hoping to regain some of the footing he just knocked out from under you.

His smile was as bright as the sun as he gently took your hand and said, "I'd like that a lot. I'd be the happiest prince to ever live."

He frowned.

"I do have one request though. Can you draw a different picture of me for Rio? I want to keep this one."

                                   ….

That was a day of many firsts for Rio. Two of his best friends became paramours, and, for the first time in his life, he forgot he was baking bread.

Later, when you gave him the second picture of Acquia, he had also forgotten what the thing he needed it for was.  

And that was what reminded you how great of a friend Rio could be.

[eddieslittleslutmuffin]

✿Hi! I hope you enjoy this fic! Please remember to reblog, like, and leave a nice comment. Follow me, and maybe you’ll see more nice stuff, idk I can’t tell you what to do. But I’d appreciate it! More stuff pinned to my page! Kay bye!

Show you off Pt. 2

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Sinclair!sister

Word count: 2k

a/n: ask and you shall receive @e0509 you gave me the extra boost to finish this, and as this is a series for Eddie and my oc Devina, there will be a pt.3 in the future. 🫶🏽

Eddie, and I got to the venue early before doors opened to the public; his team, and production showed up an hour before that.

“Madison Square Garden, not bad for a kid from a small town.” I beamed up at him, Eddie bumps his hip into mine, wraps an arm round my neck, and pulls me close. As we both stand there looking at the imaginary crowd, an overwhelming sensation washes over me; Eddie has pulled through a lot, we both did. Surviving Hawkins, Indiana is no easy feat, but somehow we did.

“Kids like us, we aren’t supposed to make it this far. I’m so proud of you.” Tears from at the bottom of my eyes, they threaten to fall, but the second they do he caught them with his thumb.

“I’m so proud of us, your art gallery is opening soon, and I just know you’re gonna do great Angel.” He kissed me on my forehead, his lips felt warm, and soft. The feeling of butterflies rushed up from the pit of my stomach at the mention of my new gallery. I spent every last dime I had from working, and college tuition on it. Of course Eddie funded everything else I couldn’t pay for, even when I told him no, he refused to listen to me.

“Thank you baby, I love you.” My voice cracked at the end, the memories of the past flashing by in my mind, and I couldn’t have imagined any of them without Eddie in the picture.

“Hey guys, sorry to ruin your moment, but we gotta get a move on with sound check.” Alison, the production manager, called to us from down below the stage on the floor where the pit section would be.

Eddie pulled me in close for one last kiss, at least the last one for now, but he savored the flavor of me making sure to take all my gloss with him.

“Alright, calm down, I’ll see you in a few.” I had to pry him off me, if it were up to him, he’d kiss me till my lips fell off. Eddie’s love, and affection knew no bounds. Even if we’re in public together, he finds a way to intimately touch me; I used to be shy about the pda at first, but then along the way it somehow boosted my confidence.

I kindly ask one of the security guards to escort me back to Eddie’s dressing room, “Thanks.” The large burraly man nodded his head in response, and left me alone.

The room was a simple enough design, nicely furnished with a red sofa, an end table next to it. A coffee stable sat in the center with a stack of magazines, and a large charcuterie board. A bottle of champagne sat in a bucket with ice, I so badly wanted a glass, but I decided against it since I was talked into singing tonight.

At the front of the room is the makeup chair, with mirrors with lights bordering each one. I smiled at myself in the mirror, Eddie wanted me to get all dressed up. I think he went a bit overboard with his style of outfit, making sure to put me in something that is damn near naked, while also highlighting my breast.

After I did a few warm up exercises, I decided that I should probably take a nap, it would be a few hours before Eddie brings me out. I settled down on the sofa, tucking my legs underneath me. Soon I’m drifting off to sleep.

A few hours later

Eddie is doused in sweat, the microphone dangling around his neck, and his guitar sitting carefully nestled in its stand a few feet away from him. Off stage he could see Devina shifting her weight from one hip to the other, a nervous habit he noticed she has. He threw her a wink, and a dazzling smile. This seems to put her at ease a little, her body visibly relaxing.

“Alright quiet down my little hellraisers, quiet down.” He commanded the crowd, at the sound of his voice the stadium calmed down to a low simmer. Devina is always amazed by how well Eddie could control his crowds, they hang on his every word. He’s always been naturally charismatic, that was the first thing to grab her attention when they first met in High School.

“I’ve got someone really special for you all.” Excitement shone brightly in his brown eyes, it’s the only thing he could think about all night. Finally he gets to show his baby off on the grandest stage of them all.

The crowd began to buzz a little, whispering amongst each other, this is an unexpected turn of events. Usually Eddie sticks to the script, when it came to performances, going off page was unlike him.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the beautiful, talented, and future wife, Devina Sinclair!” He shouted, his arm outstretched towards the curtains where she appeared from. On cue a bright spotlight shines onto her, the stadium roars to life at the site of Eddie Munson’s infamous girlfriend. Though there were a few of his “fans” that treated her like shit, the majority of the fanbase absolutely adored Devina.

Eddie met her halfway on stage, grabbed her by the hand, and brought her right over to the microphone. At the moment the stage lights were down giving her view of all the people in the pit. It warmed her heart to see them blowing her kisses, making hearts with their hands, and shouting compliments at her.

“Here’s how this is gonna go, my beautiful baby here is going to sing a cover for you, and yall are gonna be the kind hearted supportive people I know you can be. Sounds good?” The stadium erupted again in response, Eddie grinned, and nodded his head satisfied by their enthusiasm.

“What about you honey, all good?” He covers the mic with his hand, he leaned forward a bit so he could hear her better.

“Yea, but can we turn the stage lights up please.” No seeing the crowd would help a lot, a seed of self doubt grew inside her. Before she could start to spiral about rather or not this would go awful, Eddie grabbed her by the hands.

“Hey, you got this, and even if you still get nervous, just close your eyes and pretend like it’s you and me.” Bending a bit lower to her, they touched foreheads, and the crowd went insane.

“They like me, they really like me.” Devina giggled to Eddie, squeezing her hands he pulled back and turned to the one of the production people off stage.

“Hey is there a chance we can get these lights back up?” He flashed the young woman a sweet smile, her cheeks turned a deep red as she talked into her head set.

“They’re ready when she is.” She confirmed, Eddie bowed to her in thanks, turning back to Devina, his heart pounding. She looked stunning, though she could be completely dressed down in sweatpants and a t-shirt and still look beautiful.

“I’ll be right here if you need me.” Eddie kissed her on the temple, pats her on the head, and steps back by his drummer.

“Hi everyone, um, sorry if I’m awkward Eddie is the true natural born star.” Devina chuckled dryly, one girl in the very front shouted out at her. “YOU GOT THIS QUEEN!” And then another voice, “WE LOVE YOU!”

“Oh wow, thanks guys. Uh, well the song I’ll be singing is a classic. Hope you all know Creep by Radiohead.” The crowd buzzed with excitement as the music started up, she requested that Eddie have the production team play her mixed version of the song instead of the original.

“When you were here before, Couldn't look you in the eye.” Her voice was hauntingly soft, it really added to the dark overtone of the song, Eddie was shocked. He knew his girl could sing, but this is clearly something she’s worked in before. He wondered why she never shared this with him before, maybe it’s something she’s mentioned, and maybe he forgot?

The crowd is in awe of Devina, the voices of the people become the background singers as they quietly sing along with her. The girl in the front row from earlier, seemingly in tears now, found it heart-swelling to see another Black girl being treasured like this. She took her phone out to record, though Devina had all her comments blocked on social media, the young woman wanted to share this moment with her anyway. Her hope was that Devina could see herself the way they all saw her.

Devina hadn’t noticed her eyes were wet until she was done singing, Eddie is immediately by her side again pulling her into a tight hug. The stadium came back to life, the sound of thousands of people cheering is deafening. Overwhelmed by their positive energy, she stepped back from the microphone stand, and took a moment to breathe.

“That was a stellar performance if I do say so myself baby.” He spoke in a hushed voice only they could hear, his eyes sparkled, and his lips stretched into a dazzling smile. He’s never been so proud of someone before.

“I was inspired by your confidence, Eddie freakin Munson.” Devina beamed up at him, her words were true, she thought about how carefree he looked on stage, and tried to follow his lead.

“Aw of course you look up to daddy.” He said smugly, his hand reaching for her round booty, but before he could get any further than her lower back, she grabbed onto his hand.

“Thousands watching, remember?”

“Actually I’m glad you mentioned that.” Eddie’s face suddenly got serious, turning back to the crowd he brought his fingers to his lips.

“Children, daddy is speaking now.” As if his words were made of magic, the crowd settled down, and they all looked up at him with wide eyes.

“Now, I know there are hundreds of people here already, but I hope some of you out there are recording so that the whole world can hear me.” He took a breath to gather his thoughts, Devina, and the way people treated her is not something he took lightly.

“I've been seeing all the nasty little comments some of you have been making about Devina. Let me tell you little shits something, this woman, this gorgeous woman, and my future wife. She’s not going anywhere, so if you think you can bully her online…harass her in public, well you and me got a problem. I don’t care if you stop buying tickets to my shows, I don’t care if you stop listening to my music. The sole reason I’m here in this stage today for you little pricks online to obsess over is because of her. There’s no Eddie Munson without Devina Sinclair.”

The crowd erupted when he turned to Devina and pulled her in for a big kiss, he didn’t hood back either. One hand held her against him, and the other grabbed a handful of her ass. Gently he pulled away, there was breathing heavy, and hearts hammering. Devina wrapped her arms around Eddie’s neck, she got up on her tiptoes to plant another sweet kiss on his lips.

“I love you.” She whispered, Eddie’s eyes brimming with tears, he never feels happier than when he’s with Devina. He pecks her in the forehead one last time, and addresses the crowd.

“Okay, I’m done ranting, ha, I’m starting to feel like my old man. Yall ready for one more song, or are you tired?” The crowd cheered in response, he squinted his eyes looking out into the sea of people.

“Is anybody alive out there? I said…is anybody alive out there!” He shouted, the lights went up to show the crowd, the people in the pit were the loudest ever.

“One last time give it up for my lovely Devina Sinclair!” She bowed in response to the claps and cheers, and ran off stage, back to the dressing room. She kicked off her shoes, and collapsed onto the couch. She didn’t even bother trying to fight the tiredness, Devina’s eyes slid shut, and immediately fell asleep.

Much later that night.

The feeling of something wet swiping across my face woke me, I opened my eyes to see Eddie’s face above me. A wet makeup wipe in hand, and a tiny smile on his lips.

“I figured you were too exhausted to remove the makeup so I did it for you, but I’m not sure I got everything.” He continued to swipe at my eyebrows making sure he got everything. My head is in his lap in the back seat of his car, Marcus, Eddie’s driver, is nice enough to drive slowly.

“I slept that long? Oh god you didn’t have to carry me did you?” An impending embarrassment rushing in as the thought of my poor Eddie struggling to lift me, or worse than that, him not being able to lift me at all.

“Relax babe, you were awake enough to walk on your own, but still too sleepy to be aware of it happening. When we made it to the car you passed out again.” He chuckled, I sat upright, and switched to leaning against his shoulder. Automatically, Eddie brought his arm around me, pulling me in close, and peppering kisses over my face until I giggled. My hand rested on his chest, my fingers drew circles over his bare skin, the top four buttons were left undone.

The rest of our night was quiet, we both ran a bath, and did our nightly routine together. We snuggled into bed, and passed out. I’m sure Eddie is going to want my pov of last night in the morning.

[tkwrites]

I had come across some of your snapshots randomly but have now found your masterlist and omg 😍 you are so talented ❤️

I love how you incorporate high amounts of emotion and have some real serious pieces 🥹

How do you figure out what to write next? And how do you manage to upload such high quality content? Do you dot point how you want the storyline to go before you start and then go back to add in all the little details or do you just let your beautiful brain flow and it comes together?

I use to write a lot when I was younger but get way too stuck in my own head and struggle to fix it once I'm not sure. Idk if that makes sense? Do you ever get your friends to read over it and give feedback? I feel like a burden asking them to read over it, especially larger pieces. Do you ever feel you need others input first? Any tips on how to feel more confident in my own writing? 🩷

First of all, ­😭

What a gift of a note this is! It came through and I nearly burst into tears. Thank you for your very kind words. 

I've always been fascinated with how people feel and relate to each other - it's the main reason I started writing - so that highly emotional content comes from that, I think. I'm so glad others enjoy it, too.

I've answered your questions about writing below as I don't want to take over anyone's feed and this got REAL long real fast. 

Because I write this series out of order, I just keep ideas open all the time. I currently have 21 Sanpshots in progress. Some of those will be sunk into each other, but as of right now, there are 21 ideas. I basically write what I feel inspired to, and what gets published next is usually what’s been pulling most of my attention. 

The quality content thing is interesting because I don’t always think all the Snapshots are high quality. I felt really nervous about Before I meet your Parents, I’ll be proud for you, and Sarah meets the parents, and I was convinced all three would flop when I published them. Are they my strongest works? Certainly not. Are they well liked? It seems so. So it just goes to show that we’re all our own worst critic. 

That said, I have been writing for a long time and understand my style (for the most part), so that makes it easier to trust my own writing. I did an exercise about 8 years ago where I kept a blog in which I wrote or edited 1,000 words of fiction 6 days a week for a year. This was a bit of an extreme exercise and won’t be for everyone, but I credit that, more than anything else, to the improvement in my writing. Practice makes perfect, even in the realm of the arts. And if you can practice every day, that’s even better. 

Generally, I’m working on 3 or 4 Snapshots at a time, but they rotate pretty consistently. When I’m near finishing one, I will concentrate on that one for a week or two, however long it takes to get it written and up to standard. 

Most Snapshots and other fics start with an idea. Some start with the beginnings of a scene. Shoot the Moon, for example, started because I wanted to write a more realistic sex scene that included 2 elements: 1. “I don't care if you swallow. I don't really even mind not coming in your mouth, that was just a heat of the moment thing. Thanks for letting me anyway.” And 2. “I want you so bad,” he whimpered, “but I’m so tired, I don't think I can keep it up.” 

So I usually start with an idea and then build around it. Eventually, a loose plot comes into focus, and I’ll concentrate on that for a while. Every once in a while, when I feel really stuck with a piece, I won’t necessarily write down a plot, but I will write down actions that need to happen in order to move the story forward. Some details come as I’m writing, and some are added later. Word smithing takes more time, so that usually, but not always, comes after the plot is established, and I can concentrate on the writing itself. 

It’s so easy to get stuck in your own head. Writing every day can help with that. Also, I’ve had to fight to get to a point where I realized I’m writing mostly for myself and a little bit for everyone else. If you love it, there’s a big chance someone else will, too. That said, I still get stuck in my own head sometimes, and it’s something you just have to learn to push through. Usually, if you keep writing, it will sort itself out. Other times, if you give it space and come back to it, the way to fix it will sometimes jump out. 

I do ask friends for help and feedback! In fact, I had someone read over the girlfriend scene in Good For You because the first iteration of it was very, very flat. I knew it was, but didn’t know how to fix it. She read it over and gave me a few suggestions that really helped. 

I’ve found that I think I’m far more of a burden than my friends ever feel like I am. Usually when I ask, friends are happy to read through my writing. After a while, you’ll discover who gives good feedback and who doesn’t. And unless your friends are telling you that they’re too busy, or they don’t want to read your work, they’re likely not feeling that it’s a burden. It’s their responsibility to tell you if they’re upset or burdened. If they’re not telling you that, it’s likely that they’re not feeling that way. That was one of the hardest but most valuable lessons I’ve learned in therapy. 

Sometimes, I need feedback, and sometimes I don’t. I usually need it if I find I’m writing myself in circles, or something feels off, but I can’t pinpoint why exactly. 

I always read my writing out loud to myself. It’s very easy to pinpoint stuff that’s off or not natural or out of rhythm when you hear it out loud.

The best advice I can give is to write and then write some more. The more you practice, the better you’ll become. They say you have to write 1,000,000 words before you’ll write your first real one, and I think that holds true. As you spend more time writing, you’ll find your style and find your rhythm, and learn to trust yourself a little more. 

I hope this helps. I’m sorry it got to be so, so, so long!