#idk I just really want him to come to terms with his father's abuse but his arc is done so it doesn't matter

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

Being His Sibling- Riddle Rosehearts

Idk the idea came to me. Yuu is GN— 6k words

Tws/Cws: Yuu is said to have medium length hair, Riddles mom is expectedly shitty and abusive, Yuu has shady behavior because of shitty abusive mom. Yuu is untrustworthy of Riddles friends for the first half. Hurt/comfort, angst with a good ending. No incest! Just Platonic!

Before NRC:

You were the older sibling of the Rosehearts family. Being the oldest, one of the very first things you have learned since becoming sentient is that a mothers love is no different from a mothers hatred. From the minute you could babble, your mother did everything she could do to control you. You weren’t allowed outside to play, you weren't allowed any snacks no matter how much your stomach rumbled. You weren't allowed to wear fun or silly stuff. And you were never allowed to fail or talk back.

Soon, your mother— the term rotted in your mouth— soon became pregnant again, and your precious little brother Riddle came to be. You remember your father holding you up to see the small bundle of joy in your mothers arms, excited that you may have a playmate. The excitement however, became resentment.

From the minute he was born, you were no longer a priority, usually being ignored in favor of the new addition to the family. Your chatter is ignored, your physical needs pushed aside, and your emotions bottled. Even when you went to talk to your baby brother and interact with him, mother would immediately begin to lecture you for seeing him without her permission, and you were locked away in your room to study. Yet whenever you peeked out, you saw your mother cooing and coddling Riddle, something you never really remember experiencing, but she would never play with the child.

Whenever you heard your mothers footsteps fade into the distance, you would come out to play, giving Riddle all the things you wish you were given. And one day, you heard his first words— your name. “Yu!” The baby gurgled, making you jump. “What did you say?” “Yuuu!” A wobbly smile grew on your face as you hugged the baby, in that moment promising yourself that you would always protect him

As you got older so did your brother, and mother did what she always does, control. But this time it was different. Mother would always praise Riddle for his studies, but never you. She was always lighter on his scolding, when she would scream at you. Though you were also locked away to study, she never really cared about your progress the same way she did Riddle’s. From there started a grudge that you would hold onto. What’s the point of doing anything mom wants when Riddle’s her precious little angel? If you don't matter at all what would it matter if you acted up?

Mother didn’t entertain your rebellious streak for long, the screaming match that came from you simply saying you wanted to go outside instead of reading left a mark on you. “I don’t get you, Yuu! I did everything for you! I cleaned you, I bathed you, I gave you life! I cook and clean for you! Why cant you be more like Riddle!” She screamed. “I'm sorry mama… I'm sorry!” Your child self babbled shakily while sobbing. “I just wanna play outside with the other kids!”

Father stepped in to try and stand up for you, but he got yelled at too. And you remember watching as your potential savior gave up on you, allowing mother to lock you away in your room again. And yet, you could still hear as she walked off, muttering insults under her breath, wondering why she ever had you.

Riddle soon became the age you were when you started ‘acting out’ and since then you’ve learned to be more sneaky. When mom went away you would sneak out to visit him in his room, playfully messing with him and getting him to take a break to play. “Won’t mom get mad?” Riddle asked, looking up at you with big stormy gray eyes. “As long as you don't tell her— that being said,” You dropped to your knees. You knew that even if she found out, you would be the one blamed for it, “Only I can visit you okay? Don’t come into my room..” “Why?” You chuckled, trying to find a believable excuse. “Cause my room is super boring! Seriously you won't like it.” “Oh.. okay!” Riddle beamed, allowing you to distract him from the theory books he’s forced to read, and telling him fairy tales instead to watch his eyes grow big with wonder.

Mom thought that you were no longer a problem. You never spoke up or out, you did as she said with your head bowed down, you always ate what she gave to you no matter how tasteless it was, and you excelled at your studies. Finally, she was relieved that you stopped resisting, not knowing how you actually were,

For months, you snuck out and played with Riddle in his room, even giving him the answers to some of the assignments mother forced him to do. At parties you were forced to attend, you went behind your mothers back to steal some sweets to sneak to Riddle, knowing how much he always wanted to try them. And when he was still hungry from the small portions of food he was given, you would give him yours, ignoring your own stomach just to see your brother beam.

One day however, Riddle came to your room. “What are you doing here? Only I can go into your room remember?” “Well, um, I know but…” Riddle pulled at your hand to guide you to his room. “There's people at my window!” “Really huh?” “Mmhmm!” Going into his room, you saw two figures peeking through. Both young boys, one a feline beast man with bright pink hair and a stunning smile, and the other a green haired boy with glasses closer to your age.

“They said they want me to play with them but I said I had to ask you first. Can I play with them? Please please please, Yuu?” Riddle pouted, and a pang of jealousy hit you for a moment before you let out a breath. You should be happy for your brother, even if you wish to join them, but you must stay behind and keep watch.

“Of course, Riddle.” You said. “Just come back in on my cue, okay? We can't let mom find out.” You smiled at him, helping him climb out of the window and outside, where you melancholically watched the trio play. It was okay though, your brother is happy just like you promised.

All good things came to an end, however. You were too late on your cue, and Mother found out. You have never heard Riddle cry as hard as he did that day in your entire life, his terrified wails leaving a scar on your heart. However you knew what came next was going to be worse. She was going to scream at you too. You heard Riddle apologize over and over and over and over— It was driving you insane.

Suddenly, you entered the room. You were going to get screamed at anyways, so what did it matter? “Yuu get out of here, dont think your off the hook either! I can’t believe you went behind my back like that! I thought your matured! Aren’t you supposed to be a role model for your little brother?!” “Aren't you supposed to be a mom?”

“Excuse me?!” The wretched woman demanded.

“You treat me and Riddle like shit!” The woman’s face contorted with shock at the language that she never taught you— unaware of the secret books you hid that she didn't approve of. “All you do is scream at us and lock us up! Whenever we ask for anything and do anything you don't like, you just scream at us!” You sobbed, “Why did you even have kids if you don't want to raise them!”

“Do not speak to you mother like that—“

“You’re not my mom! You are the worst mom ever! I hate you! Ever since Riddle was born you always ignored me! And you don't even take care of him either! This is why you and dad fight all the time! You’re never happy with anything. Even when I do everything you ask you're never impressed! All you do is scream! I hate you! I hate you so much!”

Your kid self sobbed, and mother seemed to forget about Riddle, harshly grabbing your arms and dragging off. As she did, you saw your father behind her, merely standing by, doing nothing to save you. You weren't allowed out of your room for days, you weren’t even allowed around Riddle without supervision either.

That's when you really became unruly. If mother locked the windows and doors of the house you would pick them and sneak out. When she conducts room checks, you memorize all the places she looks so you can keep your forbidden goods hidden. Mother hated you, and she made it known. Everything she said was a snide remark at you. How at 18 you will be kicked out. How awful of a kid you are. How fat you're getting since you're sneaking food. How your magic will never be as good as Riddles since you're slacking off.

One day, however, it all boils over. You don’t remember how old you were— 15? 16? Maybe 17? But what you do remember is mom starting up a classic screaming match, talking about how ungrateful and wicked you are. Comparing you to Riddle and saying how she hopes you haven’t corrupted him with your evilness.

“Don't you dare bring Riddle into this! This is between us. This argument is between us! How dare you accuse me of hating my brother, when you have done nothing but make his life hell, when all you have ever done is turn us against each other! When you placed my entire worth on a few pathetic books” You screamed back at her as the verbal abuse continued. Riddle soon came down from his room, as you looked at him.

He’s gotten taller now, and face slightly longer. He walks with perfect posture. Usually, you felt comfort in your brother, but you noted his unimpressed expression. “Riddle, please, don't get involved. This is between me and mom.”

“Why do you hate her so much?”

“What?”

“She’s right.”

Mother seemed to smirk as you turned to look at him

“You’re joking.” You sneer.

Riddle glares. “It's not her fault that you don't care for the rules. If you only followed them, you wouldn’t be in trouble all the time.”

“That's the issue, her rules always change for me so she has a reason to keep getting mad at me.”

“Maybe if you kept studying you wouldn’t be so stupid as to not understand the value of rules! She’s right! You have done nothing but cause trouble for as long as I can remember! If you would just listen—“

You shook with anger, “Don't you dare talk to me about listening, Riddle! I gave everything for you! Don't you dare pretend the happiest days of your miserable life weren't because of me! I did everything I could to try and look after you and you just—“

You were silenced by a loud slap across your face. It stung. You froze, holding the area as it bruised, bleeding in the areas where the nails made contact with your skin. “How dare you talk to your brother like that! Stop being so jealous over—“ You didn't register what she said, your ears ringing as eyes welling with tears as all you could was look at Riddle who seemed to stare at you with disdain.

This wasn't the Riddle you knew. The Riddle you grew up with. The Riddle that babbled your name as a baby. How long have you been protecting a stranger? Acting up so he can have the slightest bit of freedom that you longed for.

You narrowed your eyes before clenching your fists. "Shut up!" You snapped at your mother. "I'm sick of you! You want me gone? Fine! I'm out!" "Yuu Rosehearts! You go through that door I'm calling the police!" "Go ahead! Tell them what a shitty mom you are! And you!" You glare at Riddle before closing your eyes. "Just stay out of my life."

You walked out, snagging a fair amount of money that you saved over the years to book it out of the Queendom of Roses, finding your own place to crash at as you work a few jobs to keep yourself afloat, up until you are invited to NRC.

At NRC, before Riddle:

You were sorted into Heartslabyul, the dorm of law and order much to your surprise. You were expecting Scarbia or Savanaclaw given their dorms ‘survival of the fittest’ themes. Still, you would take what you could get.

As you stood in line for your dorm, you noticed a familiar green-haired man in the same group. Trey made eye contact with you, obviously surprised to see you, and gave you a nervous smile. You glared at him before looking away. You wanted nothing to do with the man that's responsible for feeding into Riddle’s issues. You both avoided each other, only interacting with necessary and never dragging anything out with each other.

Surprisingly, you thrived in Heartslabyul, able to heal your inner child with all the mundane tasks you had to do, even guiding others and helping them with theirs. You did well in school, usually getting the top score on every test. You had to get good grades for a good job, especially since your parents cut you off financially. You can’t afford to slack off, and yet, you helped to tutor others. Not to mention your magical knowledge and use was already ahead of most others.

At some point within the year, the dormleader approached you, much to your surprise. He noticed all you heard work and wanted to hand off the title to you. After all, next year he would be a senior and would have to go off campus. He would need someone to look after the dorm when that happens and after all he’s done, he needs a break.

Being a dorm leader would look great on transcripts on top of all the other benefits it had. You accepted, and the crown was passed down to you. You were honestly the best dormleader at the school given the fact you knew how to lead, were kind, and got all your shit and trauma together. You were relaxed, but still implemented rules, including all of the Queen of Hearts rules to honor her dorm. Of course, you weren't too strict.

“You need to have lemonade with two sugars,” You mentioned to your dormmate. “Eh- sorry dorm leader I’ll—“ “Don't panic, just stand up and drink it.” “Huh?” You smiled. “If you truly look at the rules and all the addendums, you’ll find a lot of loopholes. The rules says you have to sit down and have two sugars in lemonade. It didn't say what you couldn’t drink while standing.”

You smirked, your mothers rules and years of having to deal with shady jobs made it easy for you to find exploits in any sort of fine print handed your ways, and you were sure to try and teach your underlings the same. Even if they didn’t use exploits and didn’t care much for the crazy rules, you didn’t mind. You weren’t a tyrant. The entire dorm looked forward to each Unbirthday and Birthday party you planned, each one stretching traditions to their limit to offer something unique.

Your knowledge of contracts and high test scores even attracted the attention of other dorms, especially a certain octopus. When you caught some of your students in shady contracts, you would review it with them and point out everything they could take advantage of. This led to you being confronted by the Octavinelle housewarden pretty quickly, though annoyed he was quite impressed.

“Now there Yuu, I do hope you can not interfere with business.” “I don't plan to. If any of my dorm members decide to sign their life away, that's their fault. I can point out a few chips in the contract, but it’s not my job to save them.” Azul seemed impressed. “My, my, it’s quite rare to find someone so reasonable!” Azul smiled with his honeyed voice. “I do wonder how you did not end up in our dorm.”

***

On top of your housewarden duties, you also ended up finding a wonderful job working for Mostro Lounge, not at Mostro Lounge. Your quick thinking and keen eye helped to calculate Azul’s profits faster than he ever could— you had experience from your times of being homeless and couch surfing. On top of that, you would always point out where he could make a contract more water tight, or places where he could reword it so can exploit his victim for even more. It gave you work experience and a good wage that you and Azul both fought over in your business contract together.

Ironic how Azul ended up with another rowdy and rule breaking member under him, as you also stretched the contract you made to its limit. Azul for once didn’t mind too much, since you were fair as long as he was. Plus you keep those twins out of his way too.

After all of these years of working your ass off, you finally, finally made it. You had a stable home for the next few years. Food security! A job! Spare money for little things! Amazing grades! You made it! You would be fine! Despite everything you have gone through, you are going to be okay. You looked in the mirror of your room admiring the hair you dyed to cover up the ruby red locks of hair that tied you to your past. You were free.

It was one night in your dorm, where you were approached by Trey. Even though it has been a year, it was still awkward between you two, and you both didn’t talk to each other. You looked at Trey with the best neutral expression you could muster. “Can I help you?”

“Riddle is coming.” “Pardon?” “Riddle has been accepted into Night Raven, he’s coming next year.” You shut your eyes pensively. “I see.” “Y’know… maybe you both can… Make up…?” You shot a glare at Trey. I’m not taking advice from someone as two-faced as you— an asskisser, you wanted to say. “I’d rather not.” You simply said, making your way to your room. “Goodbye Trey, do not stick your nose where it doesn’t belong.” You warned, entering your room just to lay back on bed and stare at the ceiling with a newfound dread.

The next year with Riddle:

You stood as the housewarden representative of your dorm, watching as freshmen emerge from their coffins to get sorted. Then you saw him, Riddle. The red haired freshmen walked down the carpet to get sorted when he made eye contact with you, eyes widening for a brief moment before narrowing into a glare, not recognizing you at first with your dyed hair. He stood in front of the mirror, and though you knew it was unlikely, you still hoped that somehow, he would not end up sorted into your dorm.

“Heartslabyul.” The mirror spoke, and like that, everything started to crumble.

Guiding the freshmen to the dorms you stopped them in front of the dorm entrance. It was the dormleaders responsibility to assign everyone a card. “You will be a fine spade,” You said to one before allowing them in. “And you a diamond.” You waved the next person past you. “And you…” You paused when Riddle stood in front of you, before clearing your throat. “A heart would be most suited.”

The welcoming party went fine. You kept it traditional and laid back to not intimidate any of the new members, allowing everyone to socialize. As you engaged in the festivities and croquet, you noticed Riddle and Trey socializing, your brother looking sternly at Trey, before glancing over at you. You had a suspicion that even after all of these years, Riddle still needed to be superior to everyone. Your position as leader would not last long.

***

You had finalized the papers and packed your things. You were moving in the dorm you should have been a part of from the start: Savanaclaw. Azul cried crocodile tears that you didn’t join him, but you know that though you would have loved to be friends with your boss, he was a ticking time bomb of greed. Being under his control at all times was dangerous. Leona on the other hand, ultimately didn’t care about who joined so long as they could sort out their own shit. He was a safer, more minor and reasonable timebomb.

After packing, you went into the rose garden, noticing you were being followed in the distance. When you got to the center of it, where your favorite place in the whole school was, you turned around. It was Riddle and Trey. Tsk, what a surprise.

“I know you were ignoring me.” “Was I, dear brother? My apologies, it was never my intention.” Riddle would have nearly turned red if it wasn't for Trey putting a hand on his shoulder. How pathetic. He was just like his mother.

“I am here to tell you that I intend to duel you for the position of dorm leader.” “Okay, here.” You take off the crown on your head and offer it out to him, watching as your little brother stares at it a mix of baffled and offended. “Is this a joke? Or are you really that lazy and weak-willed?” Riddle demanded, “I refuse to just accept the crown, you need to put in the effort as a leader should!”

“I don't see why, I’m transferring dorms.” Trey raised his brows, “To where?” “Octavinelle,” you lied, not wanting to risk them harassing you in your new dorm. “Anyways, here you go, Housewarden Riddle. I’m sure you and Trey here would be wonderful leaders.”

“I refuse! Put in some effort for once in your life, Yuu!” Riddle scolded you in that damn tone mother always used on you.

You just laughed. “You do not deserve my effort, firstly. Secondly, are you being intentionally dense or have you forgotten what I said to you— I want you to stay out of my life. I do not want contact with any of you anymore. I'm done! I'm sorry it ended this way. I hope you get everything you ever wanted and I hope I hear nothing about it, truly, I do.”

You throw the crown onto the ground as you take a deep breath. “Don’t visit my new dorm. Do not look for me at all. I am tired of you always making me feel bad about myself and having to be superior to me. The years I spent away from all of you, were the happiest I ever had.” You glared, tears in your eyes as you look for any trace of what remained of the brother you once knew, only to be met with disgust, he huffs then speaks.

“Why would I ever visit or look for you? We are not family anymore if I recall, and we were never family to begin with. It’s ridiculous of you to even think I would want to be related to someone like you in the slightest.” Riddle stated. “You weren't my sibling. You never were, and never will be.” His glare made you chuckle cynically.

“Is that so? Well then, I’m glad that's the case…” You take a few steps closer to him, towering over Riddle height wise. It's impressive how much someone could grow when they weren't stressed all the time and had some proper food. You lowered your voice. “I cannot believe I wasted my entire life protecting you. The amount of abuse I have taken in your stead, all for nothing. You, you're just like her.” You sneer, pushing past Riddle before pausing. “I used to have a brother once you know? He had the kindest smile and the wildest imagination. Whenever we played pretend together we would imagine that we could both take over the world as brothers in arms. I wonder what happened to him.

You take another step forward as Trey looks away from you. “And you.” You sound absolutely feral by now. “I would have expected you of all people to not accept roles that you don’t want to be in,” You leaned in closer. “You damned two-faced son of a bitch. You allowed this to happen to him.” You didn't even look back at Trey as you made your way out of the maze, back to your room to change clothes, pack your bags and go.

***

Since the first week that Riddle took charge, you have heard nothing but horror stories. He was as tyrannical as you imagined him to be. Whatever, it wasn't your problem anymore, the others will get fed up and deal with him eventually, and maybe then he will finally learn. Besides, Trey seems to have no issues anyways.

Life in Savanaclaw was bliss, you fit in a bit too perfectly, not afraid to rough up others if it came to it. You shared a room with your closest friend, Ruggie. It surprised the both of you with how close you came, actually. Coming from a poor background, you both shared tips for saving money and DIY, along with helping each other do some sleazy things to get by.

You both helped each other get jobs, and you even helped Ruggie pay for stuff with no strings attached since you were more well off. You lended each other's stuff all the time. You even help him grab discounted stuff in bulk for him to take back to his village. You helped to tutor each other in subjects you both struggled with and would even allow him to copy your homework. You both understood each other. Finally, someone gets you!

You rarely see Riddle. The only time you ever do is during test postings. You go up to check your score, and as usual, it is in the top spot. Satisfied, you shrug and turn around, and go to walk off, when you see your brother in the crowd. Riddle's eyes look at the top spot in a mix of disbelief and jealousy, absolutely miffed on how he wasn't on top. You looked up to see where the Riddle's test was, just to see it directly below yours, only one extra credit point behind. You don't think much of it. You leave.

Every test, you would go and glance at the wall, just to make sure your grades were fine, and everytime you notice how Riddle looks absolutely frustrated. You honestly aren't doing it to try and get back at him at all, in fact you wouldn't care if Riddle beat you, as long as you were on the wall you were above average. Eventually, Riddle does beat you on one test— Algebraic Magic Notation, something you never really cared for.

You saw yourself in second place, noticing in the corner of your eye how Riddle seems to stare at you for your reaction, before you just shrug as you walk off, feeling a glare in the back of your head as you do so. You had lunch with Ruggie today.

Overblot:

You have heard about that new magicless student around. Enma Yuuken, his name was. Apparently he caused a lot of commotion at the entrance ceremony and is a dorm leader and stuff now, cool, good for him. You never expected him and his Heartslabyul friends to seek you out however.

You were exiting Mostro Lounge after some accounting and contract checking Azul had you do for his next big plan. As you walked through the dorm on your way out, you noticed a certain quad behind you. “… Can I help you?” You turned around and asked, looking at the students. There was a spade and heart with a collar from your brother around his neck, along with a tall, broad student behind them, monster on his shoulder.

“Hey are you Yuu? Chenya said we could find you here.” The spade asked respectfully. “Chenya huh…” You crossed your arms. “What do you need?” You asked curtly, staring at your newly dyed hair in the windows of the lounge. “Is it true Riddle’s your brother?” The heart asked desperately and sighed. “Not anymore. He’s dead to me. Is that all you need?” You narrowed your eyes.

“O-oh! Uh…” Deuce stuttered. “That doesn’t matter, can you tell us why the hell he's like this?” “Can I go back to my dorm?” “Is this not your dorm…?” Yuuken asks. You just blink at them. “Everyone we asked about said your from Octavinelle.” Grim muttered, you gripped your Savanaclaw ribbon in your fist to hide it.

"Firstly, I am a liar and you should never live in a place that your employer has control of, it will always result in a power imbalance, and believe me you do not want someone like Azul to have leverage over you. Secondly I don't share where I live because of people like you trying to ask me about Riddle."

You stare over at them watching as they all stare at each other with a tinge of guilt. You huff, "Fine, if you have questions, follow me. It's not safe to answer them here. There are eyes everywhere."

***

You look around outside of the dorm as you lead the group down the hall before stopping. “Okay what do you need to know?” “So your brother,” the heart starts. “How the fuck did he end up the way he is?” At that you let out a short laugh. “Oh, is that what this is about?” “Yeah sort of!” The heart sputters. “Look, we're trying to get him to stop being… like that… and we need to learn about him first!”

“I’m afraid you’ve been led on a wild goose chase. I haven’t had contact with him in years.” “Eh?!” The group booms. “Yeah, sorry about that, he told me I was never his sibling and that I never would be. If you really want to know why he’s like that, you should ask Trey.” “Trey?” Grim asks.

You nod. “They grew up together too, and he was around him for much longer since I left. Good luck overthrowing my brother though, if you need anything else let me know, though we haven’t talked to each other in a while, I can read him like a book.”

***

You didn't expect the quad to show up again the next day, this time at lunch where you sat. “What is it now?” You ask curiously as the heart— Ace, you learned, sits across from you pouting with his collar still on. “We’re challenging Riddle to the seat of housewarden!” “Oh?” Yuuken looks at you seriously and nods. “We need you to tell us everything about him."

You chuckle sadly. “Even if I did, you all stand no match. We were both forced to study magic before we could even walk, and you both have barely learned how to change colors of objects using magic. I’m sorry, but you cannot win.” Grim whines and Deuce sighs, “What, you saying we're weak?” “I am saying you are inexperienced. Do any of you even know how to cast a warding spell?”

The card soldiers went silent. “You know…” Yuuken starts. “Didn’t you fight Riddle since you were the housewarden before him? What did he do?” “I didn't. I gave it to him and left the dorm.” “You what?! You willingly handed over the dorm to him?!” Ace gawked. “I’m sorry, but it is not my job to save him from himself. Even if I won, he would just keep bothering me over and over. I ran away to get away from the person who defended the person that hit me, forgive me for not wanting to put up with him again.”

At that the table quieted. “So uh… what's your magic like… or your unique one at least…” Deuce asks. “Wouldn’t you like to know? All you know is that it tends to break the rules of everything around me when used— Ironically, with it, Riddle's spells wouldn’t even work with how by the book all his are.” “Breaks the rules..?” Deuce echoes. “Can’t tell you anything else, sorry.”

“Wait! What if we brought you with us as backup?” “It would be an invalid duel, I’m not from the dorm anymore.’ “What if you support us in the shadows or something.” “That's cheating!” Yuuken scolds. “Exactly.”

The cards sigh and you frown. “Look, I cannot help you with that from here, however, on the day of the duel I will accompany you. I'll hide in the crowd and step in if he takes it too far, since he tends to.”

He took it way too far as you stood before your brother, filled to the brim with blot. You sigh as you stand behind the freshmen you came to support, no longer hiding. “Come on Riddle. It doesn’t have to be like this.” “SILENCE! I am… I AM RIGHT! I AM STRONGER! You know NOTHING! You ran away! What would you know?!” “We aren't getting to them. Freshmen, get out of here, this is between us.”

“Nuh uh! I’m kicking his ass too!” Ace says. “Right!” Deuce replies. Yuuken pulls out his kendo stick, ready to fight despite being magicless. “Fine then, just follow my lead.”

***

You watched as the blot left your brother in front of you. The tyrant, no longer fighting. Then, and only then, did you collapse from your injuries. Even when you gave those freshies direct orders they put themselves in harm's way, meaning you had to tank the hit for them. “Yuu!” Deuce called out. “I'm fine! I'm just… tired…” You felt blood drip down your face as you laid down.

Upon snapping out of the blot, you heard sobbing, the same sad sobs that happened on that fateful day. “I'm sorry!” Riddle shouts, reminding you of how mother would making him apologize over and over. Your head pounds, and the next thing you feel is someone sitting next to you, putting a hand near your face to check your breath before resting it on your cheek, and you recognize it.

They were larger than they were before, but the softness was unmistakably Riddle’s. His hand held you face the same he did when you were both kids and you would lift him up in the air, pretending that he was flying. You smile and open your eyes, and are met with his face looking over you.

He was sobbing, face flushed and hair unkempt for the first time in his life, and yet the look in his eyes was unmistakably the Riddle you once knew. You smile up on him and reach up to cup his face as well. “I think… I finally found my little brother I used to play with after all these years…” You chuckle before sucking in a breath at the pain, making Riddle panic and pull you onto his lap. “Yuu!”

Riddle holds you close to him, pulling you in a hug. “I’m sorry! You were right! You were right… I treated you badly… Will you ever forgive me….?” He sobbed into your neck and you reached up to hug him. “I wasn't mad at you, Riddle. I never was. I was scared… Scared I lost you to her.”

You were critically injured, in unbearable pain, and yet here you were still protecting and comforting your little brother like you always swore you would. “I love you Riddle, always did you know that right?” Riddle choked back a sob and nodded. “Good, I’m glad you know.” “Don’t leave me… Please dont leave me alone again! Not after I just got you back…” “Hey… don't worry about me okay? I'll be fine, I’ve experienced worse. I'll bounce back in no time, and we can have tea parties again, Just like when we were kids,” you choke, and Crowley comes in just in time to pick you up as you struggle to breathe, making Riddle get up and crowd you.

“They’re going to be alright, right?” Riddle sobs. “Riddle,” you mumble. “Takes a lot more than that to kill me.” You beam confidently, despite the various injuries on your body. “Right now your dorm needs you. Show them what a great leader you can be, kay? I always thought you played a better queen than I did…” You slur. “I know that Heartslabyul will shine better with than it did with me.”

“Come on Yuu, let's get you to a doctor.” Crowley says, flying off with you in his arms. Riddle watched as he shook, and a smile grew on his face.

Resolution:

You lay on one of the beds in the nurse's office. Pixies come to cater to your needs every once and a while as you rest to the sound of the heart monitor beeping. You turn your head to the side to look in a mirror and your hair is an unruly mess that matches you, this time however, it is the same ruby red that matches your brother after you used a coloring spell on it. And for once, you do not hate your resemblance to him.

A knock is heard from the door, and you watch the door open in the mirror. Riddle comes in, a small tray in hand. The minute he sees you, he carefully approaches, placing the tray on the bedside table. You prop your bed up to see him better, smiling gently to try and ease his guilty and nervous expression.

“It’s nice to see you.” “I um… brought you something.” Riddle mumbles, opening the box he brought in. Unveiling it, you can see it is a tiny strawberry tart, the ones you would always try to sneak to him when you lived at home. The edges were burnt and it was slightly misshapen, but it was perfect. “I um.. made it, by myself.” He holds his hands in front of himself and looks down.

You reach over for it just to cause Riddle to fuss over you. “Don't move, you're hurt, I’ll feed you.” The housewarden holds the box in his arm, pulling out the spoon he brought with him and carefully scooping up a piece shakily before holding it to your mouth. “Heh, I can get used to this.” “You still have the energy to tease me on your deathbed? You really are… something…” Riddle pouts, making you snicker internally as you take the bite, savoring the tart in all its glory. It’s probably the best thing you’ve ever had.

“I'm sorry, I’m sorry… The tart is really good though…” “We are planning to have an Unbirthday party to make up for the last one… It was supposed to be today, but I put it off so you can come when you're better… If you want to.” “Will it be like the tea parties we imagined as kids? Where were together and can play and eat whatever we want?” “Yes, yes it will be just like the tea parties we had as kids.”

You tear up a bit. “I would love to.”

[invader-reggie]

Unpopular opinion and maybe even controversial but I feel like most people really only hate EndHawks not because of the age gap like they say but because they just hate Endeavor. I think EndHawks would be less hated/more popular if Endeavor hadn't been such an asshole to his family. There are plenty of age gap ships like EndHawks but I've never seen people hate on it as viciously as they do with this. They just don't like that it's Endeavor.

The only real argument for EndHawks is the age gap.

DabiHawks isn't superior to EndHawks just because they're the same age or have a villain/hero dynamic.

I made this post because of the massive amount of EndHawks hate I've seen on Twitter especially by DabiHawks fans who claim EndHawks is a shitty ship and DabiHawks is better because "ew Endeavor is an abuser and ew age gap" and it's very difficult to enjoy EndHawks content without someone screaming about how much they hate the ship.

Realistically speaking, Dabi is more likely to abuse Hawks considering he is still a villain who has murdered plenty of people and having trauma doesn't mean he is a good person or that his actions can be excused. Dabi is drowning in his hate and isn't trying to move on or seek help. He only wants revenge. Dabi will not let go of his hate for Endeavor just because Hawks admires him and Hawks won't viciously hate or want to kill Endeavor just because Dabi hates him.

1) EndHawks is a proship because Hawks admired Endeavor as a kid so it's a father son dynamic.

That's wrong. That's based on your own opinions rather than actual fact. There's nothing wrong with seeing EndHawks as a father son relationship but it can also be interpreted as Hawks having a childhood crush on Endeavor and then developing real feelings for him after getting to know him as coworkers. Personally I don't see them having a father son dynamic, it feels like more of a co workers to friends relationship with an older man who's never made a joke in his life/younger man who annoys the older one into being his friend dynamic.

Their dynamic reminds me of the two guys from beyond evil with the older guy being a flirty conversationalist that everyone likes and the younger guy being a stoic, stick in the mud who's annoyed by the older one's antics. That ship is very well liked despite the age gap because of the chemistry and dynamic that they have.

2) Endeavor is an abuser and the ship is toxic

Also wrong. I mean Endeavor was definitely an abuser, but claiming he'd abuse Hawks is stupid. Endeavor's whole arc is him coming to terms with how much of a shitty person he is and attempting to atone for his mistakes. Also he and Hawks clearly have relationship development considering Endeavor lost his arm to save Hawks and the others so idk why people think he'd abuse him.

To add to that, canonically speaking, DabiHawks would be the toxic ship. Dabi very clearly burned Hawks and mutilated him in the show, they also don't trust each other (obviously), very obvious evidence pointing to this being a toxic ship whereas EndHawks being toxic is based on people's own opinions of Endeavor.

4) Hawks would hate Endeavor after knowing he's an abuser

He... doesn't. While we don't get much on Hawks' thoughts about this. He very clearly does not hate Endeavor. I believe it's because since he's been by Endeavor's side and gotten to know him, he's seen how Endeavor is trying to be a better person to his family, and from Hawks' pov, his own father never tried to be better, never tried to atone for his mistakes. For EndHawks, Hawks wouldn't leave Endeavor's side because he gets it. His own father never tried to be better, but Endeavor is trying for his family and Hawks believes that he's striving to be a better person than he was before. Also Hawks isn't a child, his entire view of Endeavor won't shatter just because he turned out to be not as good of a person as Hawks thought he would be (Like how a child's would). Hawks is an adult who understands that things aren't as black and white. Hawks has killed a person too, and has struggled with that. He's seen how Endeavor is struggling and his guilt over Dabi because of how he treated him as a child. So no Hawks doesn't hate Endeavor.

4) Age Gap

This is valid tbh. I respect people's opinion on this because actual age gaps like this isn't everyone's cup of tea. I enjoy age gaps. I enjoy mjjw from SFH (jongwoo is in his 20s and people headcanon moonjo to be in his 40s). I enjoy the ship from beyond evil which also has an obvious age gap (again the guy is in his 20s and the older one is atleast in his 40s). I enjoy EraserMight too (I love their dynamic). I simply enjoy age gaps where the younger is atleast 23+ and the older is below 50 (depends on the younger person's age tho cos if they're in their 30s then it's okay if the older person is around 50 to 60) I especially enjoy queer age gaps where the younger is absolutely feral for the older while the older one has a late sexuality crisis and/or struggles with their attraction because they believe the younger deserves someone their own age and shouldn't waste their life being with someone like them. But I get that not everyone enjoys that.

What's annoying is the people infantalising Hawks. Yeah he's young, but he's not a child nor is he a teenager. He's a 23 year old pro hero who is incredibly smart and works as a spy infiltrating the LOV. He's not a child. He is very clearly an adult and acts like an adult. Endeavor doesn't treat him like a child nor does Hawks treat him like a father. They very clearly grow to be friends and have a shippable dynamic (opposites attract, grumpy x sunshine, likes to annoy/pretends they're annoyed but actually don't mind it)

I also have rules on good age gaps which is

1] The older person has never known the younger person since they were a child.

2] The younger person is atleast 23+

3] They aren't established as a parent/child dynamic

EndHawks fits all three so while you can absolutely dislike EndHawks, just don't try to claim DabiHawks is "Better" and bother EndHawks shippers because no... no it isn't. You can absolutely ship DabiHawks because I believe in ship and let ship and also because ships don't have to be healthy or canonically make sense, but saying EndHawks is more toxic than DabiHawks is very laughable. Dabi and Hawks being around the same age means nothing and does not make them the "better" ship when EndHawks canonically have a healthier relationship with each other than DabiHawks ever will.

This isn't DabiHawks hate just to be clear. Personally I don't ship it because I prefer ShigaDabi/EndHawks more. Also because alot of DabiHawks fanfiction has Endeavor bashing (no redemption arc, no complexity, is just a complete asshole) and ooc Hawks (no Hawks would not plot to kill Endeavor/hate him just because Dabi gave his sob story, especially since Hawks has seen how Endeavor is trying).

If you dont agree then I'd love to hear your opinions on why EndHawks is a bad ship without the age gap reasoning.

[halliescomut]

The Boy Next World Official Trailer

Official trailer is out. I'm very excited to see where things go. It's clear some changes were made from the novel, which is exciting, because that gives an opportunity to kind of experience it with new eyes.

Official release is January 5th on MMY's YouTube as well as uncut on iQiYi.

I'm going to talk about novel to series changes that seem to be happening, so HEAVY spoilers below.

I'm going to assume if you're here, you at least watched the trailer all the way through, and I'm VERY intrigued at the choice of twist. I've seen comparisons to Two World and Vice Versa, but I didn't finish Vice Versa, so I can't speak for that in particular. To be honest, my first thought was A Christmas Carol, which is probably a little bit because of the time of year. Either way if we're doing a switch into the parallel worlds or alternate futures actually being real, I like that change SO MUCH.

The twist in the novel was so wildly problematic, to a degree where it certainly wouldn't get a pass in this day and age. And TBNW is one of Mame's older novels, so updating it for what fan/societal expectations are today is a really smart move on her part. I do wonder if she'll be updating the novel once the series is done, since she is changing a major plot point.

I'm going to talk about some other points in the novel, but I don't want to kind of repeat myself with explanations, so go check out this post where I kind of run through the things I hope to see in the series: link

To start, we see from the cast list that Ozone (or Zone) is present, being played by "Vino" Chavid Pevec. I was concerned that this character might get cut from the story, as with "colder" characters, I think having a sibling helps to give a human side to them, especially as a love interest is just getting to know them. We don't see much in the way of the side story that revolves around Cir and Zone's family, which while not a massive part of the novel, does speak to some of his motivations there, but with the changes being made, maybe it's not necessary. IDK. In the end, I can't really determine if it's a good move or not until we series the series and what was actually included.

I did make a point though that if they chose to include Cir's history and abuse at the hands of his mother I would hope they go for discussion only, versus casting a young actor to portray it, so if they've kind of removed that story, I don't think I'll be disappointed.

Wim and Jin are clearly present and we see confirmation that they will be the second couple for the series. I'm not sure how much of their characters will stay the same as the novel, as Phu and his friend group are a bit eccentric and silly, and I kinda hope we don't lose that. Going off the costuming for Jin it doesn't seem like it, so I'm hopeful.

The one of the bigger overarching points in the story is Phu actually dealing with his grief over his father passing, and we don't see much in the trailer for me to know if that's included in the series, but some of the story points in the novel really added depth to Phu's character, so I do think it would be a shame to minimize it or cut it altogether. One thing it does look like they've kept, which I'm very certain will break my heart, is Phu falling for Cir, and coming to terms with the fact that he's 'stolen' alternate world Phu's love and pushing for Cir to try and get back. In the novel, we see Phu as quite silly and a bit full of bravado, but he's also quite soft. His understanding of how much he's come to love Cir in such as short time and then considering how much more alternate world Phu would have loved him, considering they had years together is so beautiful and so sad, and handled with what I'll admit is a surprising level of subtlety that we don't often see from Mame. It's an all-around very complex situation with a lot of complex emotions, and I think it gives an opportunity for Noeul specifically to really show some range in the role.

I will say though, watching the trailer, I'm struck by the beauty of some of the shots. Like truly beautiful, so I definitely want to mention the director Mame is working with here, Thanpisit Jiradechakul. I know a lot of ppl assume that Mame directs all of her shows, and while she is heavily involved, I would say works as a co-director, she's only solo-directed Wedding Plan, and I'll be honest, you can tell the difference. I did try and look to see what other projects Thanpisit has worked on, and it looks like this is his first series. He's got commercials and some other smaller projects on his vimeo, but nothing of this scale. He is the credited editor and director for the Love in the Air music video though, so he has history with Mame, Boss, and Noeul.

Also, since I feel like it must be mentioned, yes of course the chemistry between Boss and Noeul is chemistry-ing... no one is surprised.

[maxdibert]

some of these people are a little silly when it comes to this Snape hatred thing. There is a reason that there is a such thing as a reformed white supremacist, one who grew up like that but not anymore. (Derek Black, Tony McAleer, Christian Picciolini) People can have epiphanies about their beliefs and change them. There are plenty of activists who used to have Anti-... views but have figured out that their views were wrong. Being groomed into the system, you need to account for why a person would feel the need to do that. Going into a gang, for example, to protect yourself or your family/friends/etc. Would this be something you would do no matter what? No. There is always nuance and it is really detrimental to simply say, well but he was a racist. Okay, why though? No one is born anything. The fact that he was able to take a look at himself, regardless of the reasoning and change his viewpoint is something that is really nice actually. Also the Marauders gang and their 'pranks.' The one prank that we got to see is idk pretty evil, and for this I'm thinking of the books not the movies since I remember the former better. The nuance of the good guys bullying someone would probably make that person go more down that rabbit hole. A cornered animal bites, just like a cornered human will twist and claw at any chance to get out of the situation. Add in an ego that is actually very common for guys (in terms of not wanting to be saved by a girl of all things), and you have Snape saying a slur to the girl he likes. Objectively bad, but again with nuance. People need to not be taking things at face value I fear, its the same kind of energy that would have us without a self-defense exception and treating all types of murder the same, 1st degree to involuntary

This is one of the main reasons why I don’t like or believe in the validity of a jury trial, because jurors lack legal knowledge and tend to view things without a clear perspective.

First, as you said, a crime is not just a crime. Not all crimes are the same, nor do they have the same level of severity, and they cannot be judged legally or ethically in the same way. There are aggravating and mitigating factors based on intent, cruelty, mental state, and the individual’s context. Manslaughter is not the same as premeditated murder or incitement to homicide. Theft is not the same as robbery or armed robbery. Belonging to a terrorist group is not the same as committing a terrorist act. These are different things and must be judged accordingly.

In Snape’s case, he joined a terrorist group but became an informant for the “good side,” which, in a real-world legal context, would likely exonerate him from previous crimes. Even people who have committed heinous crimes and murders receive deals from governments if they become informants during wars. Beyond that, the worst thing he did was insult someone. We could argue hate crime, but in court, I would claim his prejudices stem from trauma caused by his abusive Muggle father and his upbringing in extreme Muggle poverty. I would request a psychiatric evaluation from state-appointed experts to confirm that not only are his potential biases rooted in trauma, but also that he shows signs of antisocial behavior and emotional and cognitive underdevelopment due to years of abuse and bullying at school. This would be a strong defense in any trial, making prison time unlikely with a judge. If a jury convicts him due to bias and a lack of understanding of how the legal system works, that’s not my problem.

Honestly, I judge James more harshly than Snape because James had no reason to be a bully or an awful person. He had everything, including a loving and caring upbringing. Nothing in his life was violent. No one taught him that violence was acceptable (unlike Sirius, for example), and yet he still engaged in it. I can understand children struggling to distinguish between right and wrong when their role models have been dysfunctional, but I can’t forgive a boy who had everything — including supportive parental figures — and still turned out to be a sociopath. The only explanation for his behavior, in my opinion, is that he was simply a terrible person who enjoyed causing pain and exerting power over others.

[fictionalcharactersaremypassion]

thinking about writing this for Gallavich A.U.gust week 1 (or if I don't finish it in time then I'll post it during the free week)

Just wanted to know what you guys thought of this idea :)

Some Caleb bashing

EMT Ian

In this AU, Caleb and Ian having been dating for a few years now. It kind of feels like they're going through the motions somedays, there's just this missing spark that Ian tells himself isn't a big deal because it's just a small rough patch and all couples go through it

He loves Christmas but Caleb doesn't as much and makes jabs at Ian's expense about it (he does that about a lot of things Ian likes, actually) but again, he just brushes it off

Instead of being with his family for the holiday, he accepts Caleb's invitation to spend it with his family instead (idk if I'd make them more accepting of his sexuality or not and add to the drama)

And the neighborhood Caleb's parents live in just so happens to be the same one that Mandy Milkovich lives in now that she's escaped her abusive father. It's also the same year that she convinces her grumpy, foul-mouthed brother to join her now that he's out of Terry's grasp as well. She wants this year to be different for them, for them to have a happy Christmas for the first time in their lives

As it turns out, Christmas isn't really a big deal in Caleb's family. They'll celebrate but it's nothing like Ian's used to at his own childhood home. What's worse is that he hoped to use this opportunity to get close to his boyfriend's family and he just can't. They're polite but seemingly uninterested

And one morning while Caleb is out (for work, or some tradition with his family), Ian goes for a walk and ends up down the street where he sees a guy fall off a roof while trying to install Christmas lights. He's cursing at the woman--his wife? No, no, he learns, sister and she's just rolling her eyes, unconcerned

He gets to know the Malkovich's and forms a fast bond. He gets along better with them than Caleb's family, that's for sure. And as he helps the siblings create their own version of a perfect Christmas, Ian gets along with Mickey easily. He can banter with him and not deal with passive-aggressive remarks in return. It's...it's just different

Over the course of his stay in the neighborhood, Ian comes to terms with the fact that he's fallen out of love with his boyfriend and fallen in love with the guy down the street

[moraloreldeservedbetter]

Little late to the party as always but I'm here for the father's day prompt.

Geez… The fathers of Moral Orel….

First of all, I agree that I want to see Karl's character expanded.  I mean, he's a really bad father, but mostly I want to know why he's a father.  Why did Karl and Kim decide to have Doughy?  Was it an accident and they carried to term, took care of him for a while, then abandoned him because it would lead to less judgment than not keeping the baby would have?  Or did they have Doughy on purpose because it's the logical next step after getting married, and all the cutest couple have a baby because babies are cute, and then they realized that a child was a lifelong commitment and a responsibility they didn't want, so as soon as he was out of that cute baby phase and didn't make them look like an adorable couple with something helpless to nurture, they pushed him to the side?  Karl certainly doesn't like him in the house, so maybe he liked the idea of a baby before he realized a baby demands a lot of attention from its mother and he got jealous and angry and kicked him out as soon as he could?  Idk, but it's a question I would love to see answered.

Another father in the show that I think is super underrated is Sal Figurelli.  He has two kids, his wife ran out on him once, and he's part of the only black family in Moralton.  And yeah, the Figurelli's are the focus of God's Image, but it's not actually about them.  It's a criticism of using religion as an excuse to be racist, which is a good message, but I think it raises more questions than it does answers.  We know Mr. Figurelli is a hard worker and business owner who doesn't let things get to him despite the odds the town throws at him, but we don't know what his relationship is with his children beyond 'they work with him sometimes' and 'Billy trusts him enough to run to him when Susie hits him', but their mom wasn't home when that happened so who knows who he chooses when the opportunity arises.

I also wish we had seen more of Tommy's family in general, especially his dad since his mom was shown much more in "God's Blunders."  They seem to really care about their son, they're just so mired in the dogma of Moralton to actually put that love into action.  And Tommy being so smart and curious makes me wonder if his dad used to bring him home books because he asked for them.  I can really see Tommy's parents getting him the science books he asks for to make him happy, even if they think his IQ is too low to actually understand what he's reading (even though that couldn't be further from the truth).  Idk, I know the Littlers aren't the best parents to Tommy, but given the other parents of Moralton, they actually seem like some of the good ones.  I mean, they could stand to listen to their son more often, because if they did they'd realize just how brilliant he is, but at least they're willing to spend time with him and they do things to protect him when they think he might be a danger to himself.  I demand to know more about Mr. Littler.

Then, there's my obvious curiosity about Art Posabule.  If he's the Bloberta to Christina, I wonder what his brand of neglect entails.  I like to imagine that Art is largely apathetic to his family and would rather lock himself in his study and drink.  The only reason I even think Art spanks Christina the way Clay spanks Orel is because Poppet tells him to and he doesn't care enough to argue about it (my big headcanon about the Posabule household is that Poppet feels that she needs absolute control of her family, from choosing what they wear, to dictating where they go, to even wanting a lock on every door so she can control who can come in/leave rooms, and Art is a huge enabler who never says no to her because he doesn't feel the need to).

Also, Bloberta's dad.  I would say that he seemed like a good parent that was only held back by what an abusive relationship (to what extend, I don't know, but definitely emotionally), but I do think he might actually be playing favorites also.  Maybe it's out of spite; a sort of "my abuser like these children, so I'm going to choose the one she doesn't like as much" but even so, I feel like the roles would be swapped if he were the one in control instead of his wife.  He was a good dad to Bloberta, which is great!  But I feel like if he had his way, then Lunchbox and Modella would have been the miserable ones.  Maybe I'm wrong, and he would have loved them all equally, but it's hard to see, since we only see him after he's already been broken into a nervous wreck who can't even accept love from his own daughter because he's so anxious and traumatized. Kinda wonder if his choose to marry his wife was just as pressured onto him and manipulative as Bloberta was to Clay. It would be interesting because then his beloved, favorite daughter would have turned into the same monster that hurt him so much, and seeing her neglect her kids the way her mother neglected her might actually break his heart, given how much he cared for her. I'll bet he feels really sad and guilty because he couldn't get his wife to treat her better, and then Bloberta wasn't able to break the cycle. I know Bloberta is a grown woman who made those choices on her own, and there's no one to blame for her neglect towards Orel, Shapey, and Block besides herself, but I get the feeling the abuse he went through would make him think it was his fault. I just feel for the guy so much, tbh. His wife is a horrible abuser to him and Bloberta, and given the way she snapped at Modella when she thought she sang off-key, possibly all her children, and he seems to blame himself for not stepping up even though nobody, not even the viewers, knows what she might do if he does step up.

Anyway, this is far too long and SO wordy but I'm very curious about the side families in Moral Orel.  They all seem to have their own problems, so it's interesting to see fathers like Mr. Figurelli and Tommy's dad, who aren't always fantastic but do seem to genuinely love their kids.  It's a shame we didn't get to see most of them as fathers.

(Also as an extremely side note, it would have been interesting if they expanded upon Marionetta's family, since we know she has a baby sister and a dad, but we never saw her mom.  So shout out to Marionetta's dad for being the only other single father in Moralton besides Putty?)

OH MY GOD

YES

FINALLY

god this needs to be explorered more in this fandom!!

[navarice]

my dearest fellow mdzs stans, i really don't want to spoil anyone's fun but sometimes some things must be said. please do NOT mistake fanon characteristics for canon characteristics because by GOD is it frustrating to dissect a character when all anyone wants to do is blindly turn away from the very vivid and metastasizing flaws.

jiang cheng is an extremely complicated character, and that's why we love him. but by god, he is a jealous, self-victimizing asshole with a massive inferiority complex who likes to torture (probably) innocent look-a-likes of his (as far as he knew) dead adjacent family member. jesus christ this isn't some simple case of miscommunication (well it is but, you know no amount of communication will ever mend the giant chasm that developed between them. especially not with asians raised within the most classical case of asian parenting, i mean come on now) but a matter of deep and intense self-loathing developed since early childhood projecting violently outwards. let me be clear. he hates wei wuxian. he loathes him. he wants to kill him with his own hands again and again so some part of his convoluted sense of justice and superiority will be fulfilled. he's a classist, a bully, and abusive to everyone around him. ong at the end of mdzs, i was nearly crying tears of joy when jin guangyao flayed him flat on his ass bc that man needed to hear it. he needed to feel it. he needed to stop blaming others and blame himself.

and!! he's homophobic!! the entire cultivation world is, yes, but he's the only one we see give wei ying and lan zhan active shit for it!!

point is...his complexity makes him interesting. as a child, he was pretty alright tbh. he was understandably upset when three of his dogs got taken away and he saw his dad give a completely random kid such a gentle hug when jiang cheng never received one so far. he was a kid, and it was sad and helped the readers get a glimpse at the already dysfunctional family dynamics before wei ying came into the picture. as an adolescent/teen, yes he had a lot of unresolved rage and inferiority issues building up when he was constantly being compared to wei wuxian by his mother and not given enough reassurance from his father (once again, all present before wei ying...everyone just likes to dump the shit on him bc it's easier to point fingers at others than at yourself). perhaps he could have turned out differently if literally either of his parents stepped up and took accountability. however, after the burning of lotus pier? after the golden core transfer? after wei ying stuck around as his subordinate just as he promised, and protected jiang cheng like he promised, and defected just to save the yunmeng clan's reputation so jiang cheng doesn't have to put up with the other clan's shit, still continuing to keep his promise? after wei ying's death? idk abt y'all, but all bets are off bro.

mxtx makes it a point to make him so irredeemable. he's an exploration of what can go wrong if you let your traumas, self-hatred, and revenge fantasies blind you. he has the worst traits of his parents for a reason, directly contrasting with the other sibling, who is a perfect picture of eldest daughters born into a dysfunctional family. jiang yanli has the best traits of her parents (in terms of compassion and standing up for her family), but the family dynamics also made her the way she was. the responsible, the mediator, the occasional mother, stepping in where madam yu cannot.

there's just so much potential to hold him accountable buried under the pretense of misunderstandings and kinnie moments. he just had so many chances, more than any other character, to make a different choice. to actually look past his misgivings and unlearn the bad habits he used to protect himself as a child. i'm not saying he has to magically heal from all his traumas, but at the very least know not to be like his parents. but he wasn't written that way. because that is what happens when you give into your insecurities and generational trauma.

bottom line: jiang cheng is a fantastic archetype that needs to be explored in all his authenticity, including his moments of loyalty and cruelty.

[im-not-a-l0ser]

Michie roommate AU ideas (part one probably)

Richie doesn't know Max is his roommate and he's shocked to learn Max can cook, especially when Max starts making meals specifically for him. Maybe he learns from Steph later that it's sort of a love language for him.

A Basic 'one room gets flooded, you're not sleeping on the couch, only one bed' situation.

This can go either way. One has a date and the other makes some shit up to seem less pathetic. From here, you can do two things. 1: The pathetic one has to find someone to go on a double date with him with and they end up hitting it off more than their dates. Or 2: The one with a date comes home dejected from being stood up or just having a shitty date and the pathetic one comforts them.

Richie gets out of a clearly shitty long term relationship and is heartbroken. Max goes on a rant about how Richie deserved better from the start, giving examples about what he deserves in a partner (which maybe Max so happens to do most of already) and how Richie is such a wonderful, adorable, passionate person who deserves someone great. And Richie sees him differently after that. And maybe after Richie says he'd kind of like to date Max, Max says he doesn't deserve to date Richie. He's not good enough. You go from there.

Richie comes down in cosplay clothes (not wig, maybe makeup) to eat [this is a real thing; cosplayers confirm] and turns out Max is kind of attracted to Richie when he's dressed like... whatever anime character that is.

Alternatively, Richie wears Max's clothes for a cosplay for because he's doing laundry. Max likes that too. Maybe he doesn't get those clothes back and he is Perfectly okay with that.

Richie showing Max an anime and they fall asleep on the couch together.

One of them really likes the others morning voice. And/or their sleepy voice.

TW: Max's canonic domestic abuse. Max has a panic attack when he realises he didn't clean his dish after dinner and he's convinced Richie’s going to yell at him when he goes downstairs, or break the plate over his head like some people might. Richie comes to his room, worried, to find him absolutely freaking out. This is when Richie finally confronts Max about his past with his father.

Horror movies. Like Saw or whatever, a lot of gore or torture. I dunno if It or something would work for this, since it's not very scary. Richie is very desensitized to them after watched Tokyo Ghoul, but absolutely didn't expect Max to be horrified by every scary scene.

We're gonna give It some credit now. Max and Richie have both seen It One before so they decide to watch it (maybe after watching horror movies Max can't stand) When they watch chapter Two Richie starts pointing out all the gay shit between Richie and Eddie. This changes Max’s like... whole life perspective. I think one or more Saw movies have gay shit too, but I havent seen any of them.

Max takes Richie out to drink after he turns 21 and Richie is absolutely plastered. Max finds the outgoing, idiotic Richie adorable, and sleepy drunk Richie charming. Richie is thankful for Max taking care of him for essentially two days in a row, with his hangover. He realises just how often Max takes care of him.

Classic "trying to convince you I'm okay with you moving out by complaining about your habits, mixing in 'it's so stupid that I find all this shit charming and don't want to live without it." Is that classic or am I making up a memory if seeing this before?

Max starts humming songs he's heard Richie play. Richue laughs and asks him if he knows those songs are in Japanese and Max is like "dude, I thought I was just being delusional." Not really a ship one, but funny.

Max getting jealous when Richie invites his friends over (potentially being alone with Trevor's bf, who's very attractive and has an accent) because he's used to getting most of Richie’s attention.

Max helping Richie dye his hair. That's it, very domestic. And maybe Richie helps Max dye his hair, idk.

Max starts leaving compliments on the bathroom mirror with dry erase marker for Richie since he struggles communicating verbally. Such as the following image. Richie doesn't take it seriously— he thinks Max is talking to himself— until Max finally compliments him randomly one day. He just stares for a while and Richie asks 'what is it?' And Max just says "you look really cute today." He leaves comments still and Richie doesn't know how to feel. Until he does.

What follows is NSFW prompts. I'm not tagging it because it's blocked off. Tell me if this is a problem.

Max stars bringing home conquests with Richie’s permission. He regrets it immediately.

I really really tried to steer clear of dubcon stuff, but I suppose you can vary these however you want.

Max stars bringing home conquests with Richie's permission. He regrets it when he realises they share a wall and he starts getting off to the sound of Max talking during sex.

Max doesn't have a Halloween costume after being banned from celebrating it by his father. He has to borrow a cosplay from Richie— or maybe makes one for him, depending on what kind of cosplayer you consider Richie to be— and Richie is definitely attracted to Max like that. He shames himself for it until Max figures it out and asks to film with him in that cosplay. Things lead. (My go-to is an AoT harness thing, but yknow)

Classic 'ripped Max leaves his room with little clothes.' Or alternatively, Max is very attracted to Richie’s average body (potentially because it's his body)

Someone flirting with Richie at a bar and Max coming over and putting a stop to it. They're asked to kiss to prove it and Richie doesn't know what's really happening, but is really into it when Max kisses him. He doesn't know what to do when they get home. Especially when he thinks of it too much and maybe goes into Max’s room to continue.

Richie does a formal cosplay (whether that's a formal character like Sigma bsd or a black butler character, or just making a non-formal character dress formally) and Max is really into it.

Max keeps getting hard when he sees Richie all messed up from sleeping in the morning. Richie finds this out and laughs slightly at first, saying it's a little weird that he didn't just claim morning wood and be done with it, but he keeps doing it on purpose after that. He messes up his hair a little bit more in the morning and makes sure his pyjamas look disheveled. Max eventually finds this out and asks about it.

Richie catches Max masturbating to a cosplay thirst trap he posted (Richie didn't even know Max knew his cosplay account)

Richie really likes staring at Max while he's cooking and keeps wanting to mess with him while he does. He starts by just hugging him from behind but it leads to 'joke' groping and eventually more.

[robinsnest2111]

as a kid I thought my parents were so badass for running their own bar in their early 20s (mother was 22, father was 24) and their stories of things going sideways some nights sounded so fun the way they told them

but now that I'm in my late 20s these stories appear a bit more scary and life ruining actually, considering all the dead ends and wildly different business ventures that failed sooner or later my parents got into before they had me after almost 20 years of that messy stressful financially ruinous lifestyle...

anyway. I don't know if I want to discover any more of the dark abysses of my parents' lives before I was born.

still trying to come to terms with how my father's short alcohol addiction stint cost him his driver's license for good in his 20s and how he cheated on my mother a whole bunch (probably still does online tbh) and how I was most likely meant to fix my parents' relationship (didn't quite work out. they're still together for societal and economic and financial reasons but they're always fighting and yelling and screaming and never affectionate with one another and just all-round try to avoid each other as much as possible)

also thinking about the fact I should probably try to forgive them (they're old and have health issues and probably aren't long for this world anymore either) for what they did to me when my mental health plummeted and made me act all unreasonable and disruptive and caused all kinds of trouble when i was a kid/teen.

they try to talk to me sometimes but they're still stuck on the version of me I was when we were closer. when I was around 10-12. when I still clung to them and tried to connect but they didn't really reciprocate. as if the physical and emotional abuse never happened. but after all they did to me I cannot find it in myself to ever forgive them. I don't want to be closer to them. not anymore. I can't. and I feel kinda horrible and monstrous for it. idk...

things are tough and the thoughts and memories are ganging up on me. thank fuck tomorrow's a really short shift at work... and I'll try to go to a little concert after that to get out of the house and take my mind off of this whole emotional and mental mess i'm constantly surrounded by 🤞

[mandy4ever69420]

do you think gallavich are ‘toxic’ or even abusive? i see takes like these a lot and i sort of understand where they’re coming from but also don’t at all.

when someone describes the toxicity it’s usually just about them both having problems and being not the fairest to eachother because of it. but that’s like… every relationship. mickey was closeted with an abusive homophobic father, ian knew from the start he was getting into that. ian’s bipolar, obviously that makes him have irrational thoughts about mickey leaving him/not loving him etc etc like every relationship is gonna have some sore spot of insecurities.

about abuse… i didn’t find the scene where ian hits mickey bad. they wrestle for a bit and then giggle like two teenagers in love and kiss. like that didn’t badly effect either they were so happy it was basically foreplay for them idk that’s how I see it!

the other time when mickey hits ian, yeah i think it was fucked that mickey beat ian in that scene but ian was also harassing a guy who just got beat and raped and promised his life away into a marriage he doesn’t want idk i find his response pretty excusable, and then he spends the rest of s4 caring for ian so.. i don’t care about that

i don’t know, i certainly don’t see how they’re abusive as there is no power dynamic and neither are badly effected by these fights. and i guess i see toxicity as a relationship that harms both people and ultimately shouldn’t exist, but shameless goes out of its way to show that they make eachother better people and literally cannot be with anyone else, because their unconventionality makes them be more comfortable with each-other. like they’d be wayyyy more toxic without eachother bc they’d never get better!!

this basically just became a rant for me but i sent this in bc ive been thinking about it a lot and thought you might have some different or interesting thoughts!

oh i absolutely agree with you. they're definitely not abusive & toxic has no specific definition but personally i wouldn't use that either

wrt: abuse you hit the nail on the head with power dynamics. i really think people will claim "abuse" a lot just to complain that they don't like it or that they think someone's not acting right (true. they often don't act right. because they're troubled people) without actually understanding the meaning

"toxic" doesn't have exact meaning but also, yeah, i take it to mean "worsens the health or self esteem of one of both parties without specific abuse" which ian and mickey demonstrably don't do. for their faults they really do their best together. Also i mean they had rough points. and if someone wants to use "toxic" to mean "treat each other in ways they shouldn't" then it's applicable some of the time.

probably anybody who liked a relationship between two women on tv in the 2010s (and possibly before, but i was too Small to know) can remember that "toxic" just meant like "remotely interesting or complex" from just... homophobes. blah, blah, this eventually got clowned on a lot and now we get memes about loving toxic yuri. but i still don't like the term.

& it's true that ian and mickey do have like. crises and become miserable at times during their relationship. but this is largely due to external factors. especially at that, ones that keep them apart: terry-juvie-terry-juvie-terry-ian unexpectedly developing mental illness that neither of them knows how to cope with-svetlana-monica-prison-prison-prison. again the idea of being into gallavich and not vehemently opposing the prison system is bizarre to me. um.

i've seen people call ian and mickey toxic to sort of temper the idea of seeing them as aspirational. but i think this is a misunderstanding of what people who say "i want a love like theirs" or whatever actually Mean. i don't think they're looking for the Mitski I Don't Smoke part. probably they want someone they love that much that they'd stick with them through whatever may come no matter how scary or horrific

i want to note i'm pretty sure in addition to ian essentially harassing a recent survivor of violent rape, that mickey, despite being a pretty violent guy (because of how brains process abuse etc etc) doesn't really hit ian until ian starts the physical side of the altercation. that is bananas restraint given the context. as a teenager. mickeyyyyy😭💕

absolutely someone who was NOT prone to violence would not react that way, but that's what ian was in fact looking for, it's something he finds largely charming and admirable about mickey & and it's something we can see mickey is horribly upset to see he is able to direct at ian

also, i see ian's goal in that scene as sort of seeking "punishment" for what he sees as his own guilt. it works and mickey acts a way i don't consider aspirational because ian was sort of using him to externalize his own self hatred. Man. fantastic scene 😭

& with ian hitting mickey like. that one is for sure weird for mickey not hitting back immediately. which i think ian almost certainly overthought later, contributing to his fears about his "burden" to mickey. ian can't see that his current state of volatility is temporary, because he's IN it. breakdowns always feel permanent at the time.

& i've seen people say that that was like.. very detrimental to mickeys gentleness? which. i don't really agree with. first of all mickey is clearly still a very loving person. but more to the point i see s5 as like, his level of absolute maximum panic, influencing how much of his. ugh. big sweet beautiful heart he's willing to actually show. which is why he didn't hit back. he knew ian was particularly vulnerable and going through it. and yeah this wound up a sweet moment anyway at that.

NTM i think ian was deliberately trying to invoke a little nostalgia with the way they fight and then fall into each other. and trying to find the violence in their love just keeps getting harder and harder (like having to deliberately trigger mickey by calling him a faggot) because they can remember each time how much they DONT like actually hurting each other. and y'know. this leads them to grow and improve as people 👍

& lastly of all. Yeah i cannot imagine how fucked they'd be with other people😭 they're very "ESH: never change, just never involve anyone else in what you've got going on" i mean we saw ian fuck over trevor in new and inventive ways. and the byron thing wasn't even a relationship mickey had any real interest in... brutal.

[sillypiratelife]

Watching the Disney version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame and for some reason I think that Sanji would feel identified and cry so hard with it?

Here's how I see it:

The main villain, Claude Frollo, is the father (figure) of the protagonist. He's a cruel and manipulative man who groomed Quasimodo by making him think that he was a monster and no one could ever love him. Frollo is also a bellicose man who uses his power to bring chaos and horror in the name of "goodness". He doesn't tolerate disobedience and would gladly burn entire cities to get what he wants.

The way Frollo can only see Quasimodo for his usefulness, like a weapon or a soldier.

THE FEAR TO BE PUNISHED. AUCH.

FOR FEELING.

Quasimodo taking to visual representation the feeling of having something wrong with you, of feeling unworthy of love or unlovable, of thinking you're defected while also wishing to escape your confinement.

I personally think Sanji frames his own life like a joke sometimes to deal with the trauma and the abuse of his past. It's fitting then, that the movie is framed in a carnival sense of irony.

I also think that there's an interesting parallel in terms of meta-textuality. The story within the story, the role of the storyteller, those are things you can find both in Sanji's past and in the movie. Sanji and Quasimodo being both popular figures within their own cultures...

Maybe it's something about a man who grew up thinking he was a monster and a mother that got sacrificed while she was trying to protect her son.

Something about the kindness of gargoyles reminding me of the Baratie?? The way they interact is very funny, idk. They're so silly and fight so much and worry and try sooo hard to push Quasimodo to live his life instead of just staying for his job. They want him to go out, to chase his dreams.

Quasimodo and Sanji taking the passive role out of misplaced guilt and sense of loyalty.

All of this completely ignoring the fact that the movie is set in France lol, but okay.

The songs would absolutely get Sanji. He'd deny everything, he'd get defensive, he would do anything to deflect the attention.

There's a whole conversation to be had about the way the Romani people are portrayed and the discrimination they suffer, but for now I'll just say that the strawhat crew would feel identified in them, for several reasons.

The unfairness of the system, the corruption and cruelty, the torture (!!!) and the war and the balance between Phoebus' righteousness and Claude Frollo's rotten heart— you know what I mean.

THE FESTIVAL. THE COURT OF MIRACLES. THE COMPARISON WITH THE WAY OF LIFE OF PIRATES AND THEIR JOY.

But this is about Sanji, right?

He'd fall immediately for Esmeralda. Which is expected. Her character is perfect to depict the relationship between Sanji and women. The edge of (over)sexualization around them mixed with the rejection Quasimodo feels by the way they mock him, mixed even more with the way he's absolutely starving for love and affection. He wants acceptance, kindness and physical intimacy.

Esmeralda really personifies it all. All Sanji wants and needs. She apologizes for her mistake and frees Quasimodo by comparing his situation to her people, the Romani. She fights for him and stands for him against the representative of justice in the city. Bold and powerful and so skilled in a fight. Insane as hell and sooooo beautiful.

She'll be worthy the raging Sanji would get for the way the people wasted food throwing it at Quasimodo.

(depending on who you ship with Sanji, there is a way to compare them to Esmeralda and Phoebus, that I can assure you).

(and depending on how you see Sanji when it comes to gender and sexuality, you can talk about the role of Catholicism and religious guilt and manipulation).

Wow. This post is... long.... very long... Oops.

This is slowly developing into an au in my head. I'll leave this here and let you guys think about the potential of it all.

[abugwritesstuff]

hi! i’ve sent this to a couple other of my favorite COD writers, but it’s a psycho-analysis thing on guy that i wanted to share as im curious about other’s thoughts. i should mention that i am a psych student with a special interest in male psychological trauma and “toxic masculinity” (put in quotes because idk the scientific term for it lmao)

warnings for slight spoilers, i don’t believe there’s much of anything too triggering, just some mention of sexism in avari, and parental/generational trauma, but nothing too detailed.

(and j*sper jumpscare at the end but it’s just slander)

this also isn’t at all and excuse for abuse or anything of the sort, and that’s not what i specialize in either; it’s more like a deeper analysis of internalized sexism, now if guy did anything on the level of j*sper or got physical or anything, i would not be writing this.

so, guy starts off very controlling (literally using mind control), but when you play his route + events (specifically the ones where he goes to avari) a much deeper story unfolds. it is my understanding that avari has very different thoughts on women, and we even see guy tell MC that his father told him all women are cruel and only want power. i believe guy has been told all his life negative things about women, and that all he has seen was his father marry for power after his mother passed. we also see in a route that guy was much more open when his mom was alive, but closed his heart to everyone when she was killed. it is also seen that guy assumed his mother was murdered by other women. so, Guy has been told all his life these things about women, ever since he was a child, and never had the chance to see any differently as he never opened up to another woman until MC.

now this is where the beauty comes in. after a while, guy begins to truly love MC for herself and not just her power, and even tells her what he was told about women and says she changed that. guy was able to swallow his ego and be emotionally open to MC and begin to see her as an individual and not just a vessel for power. guy defends her to her father and tells him off saying that he truly loves her and no other, and it is not just because of her power, and that she will make a fine queen. we see him praise her throughout his stories and events, and through his thoughts we see he is truly a changed man who has changed his outlook on women through his love for MC.

although he is not yet open to fully sharing his thoughts quite yet, we see that he is actively working on himself for MC.

we also see a boyish side come out of him during these emotional moments, that i believe to be trauma regression and suppressed feelings that he has had to endure due to the excessively violent and aggressive nature of avari. i truly think guy’s initial act towards MC is due to trauma and abuse he suffered in avari, and he only begun realizing he was lied to and was wrong about women through his relationship with MC. guy is actually my favorite character because of this, and i think it’s truly a beautifully complex story that the creators made. also, i love how his toxic masculinity was turned around and how it tells the story that growing up in such a toxic environment can truly damage a man.

j*sper is a whole different story, bro is just a perv who deserves cancer.

sorry, this is about to be super rambl-y! i go off on some related tangents here lol

yeah this is interesting! i guess i disagree in that i don't actually think that the CoD writers have really fleshed him out as well as we in the fandom have and that has always been the core of my distaste for his character, and why i prefer him in fic form 9 times out of 10. 100% i believe he's traumatized by life in avari and the loss of his mom, and that his sexism stems from that, and because of that he has potential to be deep and complex in his flaws, but there's always a core to his character that just stays flat and unchanged, particularly with the event stories- he almost defaults to cruelty and rarely shows genuine remorse or legitimately, verbally apologizes*, complete with an understanding of what he did wrong and actual changed behavior. (i can distantly recall event stories where he does something awful, they have a relationship meltdown, they make up because MC gaslights herself into believing that she was being unfair, and then he continues doing shitty things??? like he's kinda emotionally abusive in some stories.) they do this this kind of half-baked character development with fenn as well, though his book 2 was a massive help in showing actual personal growth. i'm really hoping guy's book 2 provides similar evidence of change.

the unfortunate thing is that since i've been playing voltage games on and off for the past ten years, i'm pretty familiar with the archetype they're using for guy and have some serious doubts that they'll write him better. controlling asshole alpha male who has a trauma backstory and, despite falling in love with the MC, just acts like a complete dickwipe forever is pretty much par the course. so i'm a bit conflicted about the possibility that we'll get the kind of fleshing out of guy's character that we need.

as another note, the most i've seen (or at least, perceived) from guy as far as remedying his sexism is him deciding MC is an exception to the general rule that women are bad. he's had some genuinely selfless moments for her here and there in stories, but none that would really give me an indication that his view of women overall is healing. and that's the kicker for me: men like that exist in real life, and when the woman they've removed to the pedestal disappoints them in some way, they're right back to square one because they didn't actually change their views. and the sort of change that he'd need to undergo as a character to unpack that bullshit is pretty intense, which is another reason why i'm skeptical we'll get what we need and why i prefer the fandom version of guy- and why i prefer the version that you've presented here.

tldr; the material to make guy an incredible character is there, but i think some details are missing and the legitimate development we need isn't something voltage is terribly likely to do.

*to note- this behavior is extremely unsympathetic to me because it reminds me of my dad lol. i understand why others have sympathy for it, but i lack the personal bandwidth.

[mithliya]

In regards to that convo with that lady about aborting male sons >>>

I think when it comes to sons, If you want to have a daughter, your son is a risk to her safety. Most sexual misconduct with children comes from inside the house. The way i see it: in order to protect the daughters I hope to have, the most effective step is to minimize their private interactions with males as much as possible. So having sons throws That right out the window. Also if My hypothetical son was a misogynist, i wouldnt love him right. I wouldnt be able to take care of him like a child (of any age) needs to be taken care of by their parent, and thats a reality i would like to skip altogether.

When it comes to male partners, its take it or leave it for me. Getting knocked up by a man is free compared to buying sperm, and there's millions of men happy to knock a woman up and then never be involved in that child's life. So that's one option I'm willing to take in the event that I don't meet any man or woman who wants to coparent with me the way i want to do it. Personally, having daughters is more important on my bucket list than having a life partner, so any man or woman is take it or leave it imo. I am not really worried that a woman will trick me into a long term relationship to gain access to and abuse my child, so my main concern regarding lady lovers is whether or not she Wants to have kids at all (most women my age don't want motherhood for their future so that narrows my dating pool a bit). As far as men go, I suspect that there are some men out there, somewhere (probably?), who have no interest in abusing children or myself. So if a miracle happened and I met a man who made me feel safe enough And who was okay with me aborting male fetuses, I might take that risk and let him into my daughters home. So that's my reasoning for why I would decline to have any sons. Don't know if everybody sees it that way, but the safety of my daughters is the bottom line for me.

i agree w u with regards to male children, i don’t want to give birth to begin with but i cant in good conscience bring a male child into the world knowing there’s a good chance he’ll turn into a misogynist due to how misogynistic society is Or he might turn into a rapist or sth else which i honestly don’t know how i’d react to. i would hate to be one of those mothers with a rapist son who then like justifies him or believes him over the raped girl, i dont Think i’d be like that but as his child i’d still feel awful either way that i brought someone into the world who ended up doing that. not to say there’s no chance of a daughter being the same, but at least there’s a lower chance of that and society isn’t teaching her she’s entitled to other women and it’s women’s fault if they get hurt by her or sth.

when it comes to just having sex w a guy to get pregnant bc it’s cheaper than using sperm donors, idk much about this stuff but i do worry the former could have potential risks for u that would not exist if u get a sperm donor. idk if for example the bio father would have legal right to a relationship with the child, for example. or the risk of STDs. i’m sure there’s stuff that im not bringing up here too but that does sound like it comes with some risks so if u do end up doing that, be very careful and make sure ur aware of what the worst case scenarios are in such a situation.

[scorpionae]

i've really been thinking lately about dohwa and physical touch and just general vulnerability in emotions. i'm putting my thoughts under a read more, and going to give the heads up for mentions of abuse ( physical & alcohol ) as well as tag appropriately.

i think a lot about the impact dohwa's childhood had on her, tbh, and all the trauma that came with it, and how it has such an effect in how she reacts to the world around her. maybe i'm looking too deep into it. but dohwa grew up for a time with an abusive, alcoholic father. she would go between the orphanage & him ( as she would be taken away from him only to later be placed back in his care -- or that's how it sounded in some of the episodes. ) back then, dohwa was timid and very meek, as well as scared of her father. there's not been much more divulged about her past in terms of family, or the time between when she received her complex to the present.

anyway, it was only when she received her complex ( still, as a child ) that she finally seemed to become stronger and stood up to her father. her father no longer had power over her, as he finally backed down ( to be specific, dohwa struck back with her tail, to his horror ) and that in combination with the abuse, i feel .. well, that was an impactful moment for her as she finally started to stand up for herself more.

of course, like i said .. they don't go into detail about her life from then to her introduction in j.ungle ju.ice. but i feel it's safe to say that h.yeseon.g's remark about her not having had much contact and struggling to show her affection isn't that far off from the truth. the contact she had was that of her father's, and because of that, she never really had actual affection, and doesn't know how to accept it ?? it's foreign to her, and she doesn't know how to react.

also, i'm thinking about how she was probably perceived at the orphanage. she was stated to be a timid, gentle child .. but they show how ju.nhyeo.ng is treated at the orphanage, and bullied -- dohwa was the one friend he had, and without her, he would have been completely alone. i feel like by proxy, dohwa could have had that same treatment, although she would have cared less how people perceived her in terms of her friendship because jun.hyeo.ng is her friend, and is very important to her.

i feel like having the group around is slowly helping her heal, maybe ?? and grow ?? even if not completely, but i don't think in the latest chapters, she's being as rough with h.yeseo.ng. idk where i'm heading with this thought, but she's definitely felt like she's not as like, ' rough ' as she used to be, although she still has a fierce temper. but i feel like maybe it's because she's finally feeling safe around her friends. she's never been rough with j.unhyeo.ng outside of their fights afaik. and i feel a lot of that comes down to trust and the fact she feels safe with him, and she's beginning to feel that same safety with the group.

but also, i'm thinking about her emotional vulnerability. dohwa is an emotional woman. she's quick to react if provoked, and even the professors take notice that she's someone who acts on emotions. but i also sit here and think about vulnerability and how she's not one to display it -- again, i feel maybe her childhood and her father had a direct impact on this ?? because the only time she felt ' free ' was after standing up for herself .. showing her strength and power, and because of that, i feel she fears showing vulnerability because she's ' giving ' power to another and trusting them with it, which is probably difficult with the life she had ??

idk i've just got a lot of thoughts. i'm sure this is all incoherent, but the fact i just so often think of dohwa and how she has so few friends and all, and just .. idk, i just have thoughts and wanted to get them out.

[haleigh-sloth]

I usually don’t share my specific thoughts about bnha but I need to get this thought out there so sorry if this is weird but….

Personally I think the thing most people forget about Shigaraki is that before anything, before afo before killing people Shigaraki was “taught” (abused into thinking) that every time he did something his father viewed as ‘heroic’ he was/would be punished for it cause it would be hurting the ones around him (it would affect his family). Of course this is the worst thing to be taught when you are 5 years old .

But this continued until his family was dead and then he met afo. Afo basically convinced this 5 year old child who was not in a position to tell him (afo) he was wrong and still had the idea of good thing = bad things going to happen, that heroism is bad and that as long as you are mad at the person you’re killing it’s fine (obviously not true but when you are 5 I don’t really think you would actually understand that it was wrong)

And then this way of thinking continued basically for like 15 years..

In simpler terms, afo seemed to convince him that, good thing/good deed = bad things going to happen/ no real benefit and, bad thing/bad deed = bad thing going to happen however you got treated badly therefore it’s ok if you do bad things too

the thing everyone’s needs to understand in my opinion is that people who talk about why villains think this/ that or people who just like the villains of the show, are not justifying that fact that they killed people but merely just explaining their thoughts/opinion of the matter and trying to get you to understand that when you are abused or/and manipulated it changes the way you think (not everyone can dramatically change their life the second they are not next to their abuser anymore)

((And in the end this show is. not. real! The villains did not kill a bunch of real innocent people, some people don’t seem to get that anymore and act as if that’s what happens…))

Sorry if there’s any mistakes in this, I kinda have trouble putting my thoughts into words that others understand heh. . . .

In response to this...

I mean, yes, I agree with everything here.

The reason I didn't dive into all of this is because, and I mean this in....some type of way...actually idk. There's no nice way to say this really.

Anybody who is just stuck on "They did bad things, they're evil because of this and they should die" is not worth arguing/debating/discussing things with for me personally.

I'm serious--I do not have the patience to explain the obvious to people who just don't care about these aspects of the villains. It's too tiring, and ultimately pointless because--they don't care.

If the conclusion someone has come to is "They killed people and they're bad and a sad backstory isn't an excuse and that's that", then I mean, I have nothing to say to counter.

Imo, everything you pointed out is very obvious, so anybody ignoring its importance is doing it intentionally and probably has no intention of changing their minds.

People write essays on tumblr about redeeming characters who do horrible things, why it's done in fiction, how it's done, how to tell when a character is set up for a redemption arc early on, but it doesn't matter. If someone doesn't want to accept a redemption arc in a character, there is nothing to be done.

I really do not mean to sound pretentious or anything....but honestly I don't have the energy or patience to explain old arguments that have been beaten into the ground and things that are just painfully obvious and shouldn't even have to be said (namely that none of these people are real and nobody has killed anybody--like I'm not gonna write an argumentative meta on that).

So yes I agree with everything you've said here, but I tend to intentionally leave these points out because if someone is still held up on the points you've made, I really don't have the patience to discuss with them.

[fleshforember]

idk if this is too personal, just ignore if it is.

how did you forgive your dad? i feel like i just started working through all the reasons im mad at mine and i just...cant imagine letting it go, but the anger is making me sick.

anyways. a little ranty. sorry about that. no hard feelings if you need to ignore for your own peace.

I've always sort of been a daddy's girl, which made it hard for me to recognize some of the signs of abuse.

For me, working through my issues with my father and forgiving him started with recognition. What he did was wrong, and a lot of it isn't justified.

This is personal to my experience, and I can't be sure for you, but my dad was a victim, too. He wasn't treated well by his father, either, and I'm sure that's the reasoning behind a lot of his shitty parenting; he was never taught how to parent

This isn't an excuse, it's a reason. You shouldn't forgive someone because of their circumstances.

My dad hasn't tried to fix our relationship. I haven't tried either. I can't find it in myself to want a relationship with him after some of the things that have happened between us, but I find it vital that I understand why.

I recommend doing some soul searching. Try your best to find out why you reacted the way you did to some things, and focus on you. You can't fix your father, you shouldn't apologize for his behavior. But you can discover why it's such an issue.

From there, it's really just about appreciating yourself and overcoming the hurt. I've treated my journey as a road to self-forgivness and love. My dad didn't love me the way I needed him to, and I needed to figure out how to give that to myself. I feel like taking care of yourself and forgiving yourself for being abused is the first step to coming to terms with your abuse.

It isn't okay, and you don't HAVE to forgive an abuser. But hopefully you can come to peace with your pain and learn to accept that it's changed you. It's okay to be changed.

I forgave my father because I had it in me to forgive myself, and if I'm forgivable, then so is he (in my eyes). But I don't forgive the abuse.

I'm sorry if this didn't help, feel free to talk to me more if you want to. I'm here :)