#idk I just need a mike in my life

[princeofcyberpunk]

hi motorcity fandom is this anything

i was not expecting the cartoon about teens with cars to genuinely change how i view the world

[lighthouseas]

a wip of sorts

for @bylerween2023

[plushri]

I was clearing out my youtube history and saved, and found puppet history there. I loved buzzfeed unsolved (and Ryan and Shane by proxy) since I was around 14, which is more than half a decade ago now. I have very fond memories of watching it on call with my an old long distance best friend, who is probably the closet friend I've ever had, and how she would laugh at me because of how scared I was. Later on, I would play the mathorons all the time whenever I needed background noise or some nostalgic comfort, and I followed them to their new channel and loved all their shows. The weekly episodes were my little treat between study for my final exams in school.

Anyway, I haven't interacted with them at all since they did an ad for temu and I don't regret or miss it all. I closed the video and unsubscribed as soon as they sponsorship started. Literally haven't thought of them or any of their shows since. Bye bye.

[3416]

I think what gets to me the most about people talking crap about the players after a loss is like.. losing sucks, especially when a team doesn’t play their best, of course it does, but I get over that bit essentially as soon as I turn off the game. What makes losing really suck and what sticks with me is that I get all overly sympathetic and sad eyed about how the players must feel after losing. So saying mean stuff about the players??? Baffling. You can’t be mean to the babies???? They need hugs and love and everything good.

no exactly......... like my frustration comes from knowing they can be better and do better but ultimately... it's still like THEIR success as people that i'm rooting for?? like i want them to win the stanley cup bc i want them to get to be happy bc i enjoy them as people.... not bc of some self righteous reason like i picked a team and get to point at everyone else and say i'm better than you like. maybe i DO get the hate for mainstream leafs fans in a way bc LMFOA. the biggest overreactions and the most entitled bunch for stanning a team with such a long drought. idk where it comes from in people's ideas of sport... like they're owed something by this team they're willingly choosing to spend time and money on but. i want the leafs to win bc i've gotten attached to a bunch of goofy guys and wanna see them happy and fill up my free time w my little thoughts about them. can't fathom my brain ever flipping a switch where i suddenly NEED this team to win to prove something about myself or my self worth the way a whole bunch of ppl on twitter seem to. i really don't get it but i'm here for the narratives and the storytelling of the thing lmao

[catbooknerd22]

Robin's love language is calling people 'dingus.'

Except for Nancy. She'd never call her that.

[mummer]

hey remember the scene in barry where fuches fully is shot and dies in the cold open and then later in the episode wakes up on a cowboy ranch being taken care of by a kindly mexican family who offer to let him stay there forever and wed their daughter and escape the narrative etc and for like 5 seconds he appears to gain a new lease on life only for him to just immediately steal their car and leave because he hates barry so fucking much anyway do you think it’s a winky parodic reference to this bcs plot point or nah

[wontbyers]

i mean, on one hand i agree with people saying there’s no need for discourse on gay mike vs bi mike because byler is going to be endgame either way so we don’t technically need an answer to that question, but on the other hand--what, we’re not allowed to care about mike wheeler as an individual, part of which is his sexuality and his arc of accepting himself for that identity?

while we share some experiences, there is a difference in the experience of being a gay person or a bisexual person, and there’s nothing wrong with people hoping that the story will delve into/address mike’s identity, both as it relates to his relationships with el and will (two of the main/most-focused-on relationships in the show!) and regardless of them, because mike does have an orientation no matter who he dates, and doesn’t he deserve to be known and understood the same way we’ve been granted for will and robin?

of course people shouldn’t look or speak down on others who have a different interpretation, no matter how obvious/inarguable you think yours is, but there’s nothing wrong with people discussing and presenting the evidence of their side. whether the show ends up confirming one or another or leaving it up to interpretation, it’s still never going to be a waste of time to talk about, or something that “doesn’t matter.”

it matters for mike. whether the show gives us that or not for him as a character, he as a person would still need to address that in his own life? and then, even if the answer ends up being “i’m not quite sure what my sexuality is” or “it’s fluid” or “i don’t want a label” that’s still going to be the result of mike’s internal analysis of his feelings.

so that’s still part of the very same debate about his sexuality--there is no being outside of it as long as you believe mike loves will, because you agree he is not straight, so your opinion that he'll stay unlabeled is just the 3rd possible option for the outcome of the story (confirmed gay, confirmed bi, neither being confirmed), and not actually staying neutral of the gay vs bi discourse you believe you’re above.

[scribbles-ink]

im just thinking what if mike schmidt is the son of the movie's equivalent of henry emily. i had this thought on the way home from the movie at like. 10 pm so at the time it was incoherrent, but im going to expand on it here.

point 1- garrett played a similar role to charlie emily, in that despite being watched over they were both killed by william afton.

p2- in the flashbacks, its very obvious that the entire family is in a place away from society. they're literally in a forest. it wouldn't make sense for william of all people to be there if he wasn't close to the family.

p3- the books and the game mirror eachother, so there is a chance that schmidt could be another fake name, one william recognized because, again, he was a family friend.

p4-what happens when your kid goes missing? idk probaly witness protection or an urge to seperate yourself from the incident, both reasons for the name change.

p5-(kinds joke reason) abby rhymes with charlie and looks similar to her (brown hair, brown eyes)

p6-i argue that abby also took on the role of the puppet/charlie at the end of the movie. she didn't necessarily give them life, not like what was done in the game, she shoeed them how they died. she reminded the children of the life they had before, and of who really took it. by doing that, in a way, she gave them that life back. she gave them their real personality back, one not influenced by william. she cut them from his influence, she gave them the gift (the picture) and it gave them life (their memories)

p7- in the movie, mike says his father 'couldnt deal with it' and left after his mother died. yk what that sounds similar to? book henry emily killing himself in despair. maybe mike's dad is alive maybe he's dead, we dont know. but it is similar enough, an act of completely removing himself from the equation.

p8-book henry has a sister named jen, yk what name that sounds like? jane. who was mike and abby's aunt, and we dont know which parent she was related to.

p9-'but wouldn't mike know about the pizzaria if william was a family friend?' honestly, probably. but theres also a high chance that he wouldnt. if the family lived in nebraska, (which im pretty sure they did) they wouldn't have a need to go to utah, not even for a friend's restaurant. sure, he might know that his dad's friend had a restaurant, but not that it had animatronics or anything. the family probaly moved to utah after garrett's disappearance and after freddy's closed down.

p10-'wouldn't mike know vanessa? theyre similar in age' if they didnt live in the same state, probaly not. william in the movie was a, suprise suprise, shitty father, even foregoing the stabbing of his kid. i doubt hed care enough to take her with him on like. a short out of state trip.

p11(edit)- in the books aunt jane was killed by evil charlie to get to charlie, yk what that sounds like? the animatronics killing aunt jen to get to charlie

p12(edit)-the words at the end of the movie say 'come find me' and the music playong at the end is the puppets song so i think garrett is the puppet which is. again. an emily thing

p13(edit)- mikes dad looks like a mechanic shown in the training videos [cough henry emily cough]

if i think of anything else ill add it but anywys this is why i think the schmidts in the movie are the emilys equivalent. also check out the notes on this post because theres a lot of replies n reblogs that support my theory

[zombvic]

TINDER IRL PART one (harry lewis x reader)

summary : in which y/n gets invited to the sidemen tinder irl (usa edition) and meets a certain brit and their instant friendship slowly progresses into something bigger

face claim : no one right now (kendall jenner later)

notes : reader is like a 2019 ICON like disstracks against the paul brothers, ricegum etc.. now STILL doing youtube but on a much more lowkey basis. also im sorry but i had to add that the reader is an f1 fan IM SORRY (im locked in as an f1 girlie) 😵 yall im not american or even close to a native english speaker (#slavicstruggles) but i tried making the readeramerican cause i tried to do the american la gf x british bloke bf xx god bless 'merica RAAAAAH. also i used lines from like all the videos and made my own cause the lines from this video were insane.. last also, don't be a ghost reader 🧟‍♂️🧟‍♂️

pairings : harry lewis x reader , sidemen x platonic!reader , all the other youtuber in the videos x platonic!reader

warnings : drugs (ketamine joke)

You got invited to the SIDEMEN Tinder In Real Life youtube video. You are acutely aware to what the Sidemen are and you've seen their videos before. Now to be fair, the genres between your channel and their channels were pretty different. The Sidemen were known for football challenges, those 100$ vs 100,000$ challenges and other things with a similar vibe. You on the other hand, you did vlogs, lifestyle hack and tips, in your time you've achieved some disstracks and occasionally broke down some formula 1 grand prix weekend.

The moment you saw the instagram dm from the Sidemen official account you weren't sure how to react. Should you be excited? scared? worried? yeah.. all. It was the Sidemen, Logan Paul, Mike and George (idk who Mike and George but who cares).

Eventually you accepted the offer and waited till the day you had to be "picked up" by kinda random men for 5 minutes straight. The day came, you got dressed for the video shoot, they made you wait with the other girls until they called your name and then you walked in.

"Hi, I'm (your name). I'm 24 and i'm from Newark, New Jersey" (go devs go) You've practiced that line like 50 times before you left, not because you wanted to come out of this video with a new man but because you didn't want to embarrass yourself lmao.

"Hi, I'm Vikk. I'm 26 and are you from Tennessee, because you're the only ten i see"

"Would've been funny if i hadn't just said im from New Jersey dude, no sorry"

"Hello, I'm Logan-"

"No. Complicated history" you said as you swiped left.

"One chance please"

"Alright, BUT u gotta watch it tho"

"Okay. SO. If i were a pizza delivery guy, i'd be giving YOU the tip"

"Ew no sorry lmfao.. that was weak as fuck"

"Alright wow, Hello, I'm Tobi. I'm 31 and they say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation with me?"

"Sure go on.. yes. I love that"

Hello, My name is Ethan and let only latex stand between our love.

"Yeah thats funny.. alright, go on"

"Yo, I'm KSI. I'm 30 and you know how they say skin is the largest organ on the human body? Well.. Not in my case."

"Lmao, yes go on"

“Hello, I'm Mike. I'm 37 and girl, you don't need no vibrator when you got this Pickled Dick.”

"Jesus Christ. No, get out"

"Hi, My name is Simon and.. Simon says you want to swipe right"

"Lmao. I love that, Yes"

"Sup, I'm George and I’m peanut butter. You’re jelly. Let’s have sex"

"Jeeesus, that’s crazy bro... no"

"Hello, My name is Josh and I find your lack of nudity disturbing"

"No, I'm so sorry" (guys i love freya sm i couldnt do this)

"Uhm, Hello. I'm Harry. I'm 26 years old and what do ketamine and your underpants have in common?"

"I don't know" you said looking at the blonde-ish man confused.

"I'd like to sniff them both."

The whole room fell into a laughter, you included. "Yes"

"BUT I GET A NO?" Logan exclaims. "What a scam"

WHY DID YOU SAY NO?

(NO : Logan, Josh, Mike, Vikk and George)

"For Logan i think we left this in 2019 and rightfully so. For Josh i dont really know tbh, i just thought his line couldve been better. Mike, i think you know why i said no. Vikk.. Im gonna be honest i dont even remember what youve said but im sure i had my reasons and George, you couldve been waaaaaay smoother mate.. tough luck"

YALL. this is part one because i cant be arsed and put it all right here right now 😁😁😁

[imhidingonceagain]

Can we talk about the amazing representation inside the QSMP?

These days I've seen a few people (haters for sure) saying that the QSMP has few to none diversity and that makes me mad so let me list the diversity of this two month old server:

Inside of lore

We have diversity in family dynamics:

-Homoparental families

-"Nuclear" families

- A Platonic partner family (I don't know what's the proper word to describe Jaiden, Roier and Bobby's situation pls tell me if you know/ EDIT: I've been informed the proper term would be "Queer platonic relationship").

- Single parents

We have LBTQ+ representation:

-Gay characters

Roier

-Bisexual characters

Vegetta, Rubius

-Aroace characters

Jaiden, Maximus (he's actually acespec)

-Lesbian characters

Baghera (EDIT: Idk about her anymore, sorry)

-Trans characters -including gender fluid and non binary

Juanaflippa, Tilín, Leonarda, Maximus, Trump

-Characters with disabilities

Richarlyson (the Brazilians noticed he has a shorter leg and that's why fanartists draw him with a prosthetic leg + we have collectively decided he's black).

-MLM characters -I'm making it a separate cathegory just because the characters haven't specified a label. But if you know their label lmk so I can edit it-

Quackity

Mariana

Slimecicle

Foolish

Forever

Cellbit

EDIT: (I JUST REMEMBERED!)

We also have neurodivergent representation:

Wilbur and Dapper (Both autistic)

Outside of lore (Real life)

From the moment Quackity included Latin Americans that already made the server diverse since us Latinos are one of the most diverse demographic groups in the world.

But still, let me elaborate:

Diversity of nationalities/ ethnic backgrounds

Mexican, English, Argentinian, American, Spanish, Norwegian (Rubius is half Spanish half Norwegian), Cuban (Maximus is half Spanish half Cuban), German and Japanese (Jaiden), Brazilian, Swiss and French (Baghera), Algeria and Turkish (Ètoiles) (for now).

We have people of color (some of them are clearly mestizos, meaning they have both native and white genes)

Quackity, Jaiden, Missa, Mariana, Roier, Forever, Maximus, Felps, Pac, Mike, Ètoiles, Spreen (please lmk if I'm missing someone I don't want to erase anyone especially because I'm talking about the actual CC)

We have diversity of languages:

Spanish, French, Portuguese and English (for now).

Now... The point that I've seen people the most confused about:

We also have LGBTQ+ REPRESENTATION IN REAL LIFE:

Jaiden (Aroace)

Rubius (Bisexual)

Vegetta (Bisexual)

Mike (Bisexual)

Tilín and Leonarda's admins (Non binary and gender fluid respectively)

Plus, the content creators that for now are classified as "Unlabeled" (Roier and Mariana)

There might be more that aren't out yet. Please stop assuming everyone's straight.

So yeah... The QSMP DOES have diversity.

(My only criticism is that we definitely need more female Content creators but hopefully we'll have them in the future. I'm looking at you Quackity, don't disappoint me. If I'm missing something let me know so I can edit it).

[mooshs-crack-headcanons]

Hi if requests are still open could I ask for nsfw headcanons for Erwin, Levi and Hange? Thanks so much in advance 😊🩵

Yaaaaay, veteran trio sure thing :)

Disclaimer: I use they/them pronouns for Hanji and since this request is NSFW in nature also AFAB language/terms will also be used for them. And Levi’s portion goes into the expected heavy shit about his childhood and Underground. ...Erwin’s I just... idk. Wrote with my dick I guess 🧍🏻‍♂️

Gender neutral reader (no pronouns used) with AFAB or AMAB anatomy depending on reader's choice since both options are lightly given. Hope that makes sense.

NSFW contents under the cut 😉

Erwin Smith

Dear Reader, I want you to look me directly in the eyes and try to tell me this man doesn't have a big dick - trick question you can't. The man is big all over. But he's very polite about it, not one to brag but it does bring a warm smile to his face to see your eyes practically pop out of your head the first time you're down on your knees, crouched down in front of the chair to his desk, mouth already watering as you quickly undo his belt and unzip him to be able to pull him out - only to go eyes owl wide when it nearly smacks you in the face. It takes a lot from him not to chuckle out when your hand goes to hesitantly wrap around it - only for you to flinch back when it twitches hello in your grasp, he finds it very cute actually.

Hairy chest. That's all. Actually no - hairy everything. It's great.

He is loud very loud - Erwin’s a loud man in general, kind of has to be when he's been in a military superior position for good portion of his life. But it didn't come up from that, no, Erwin’s always been loud when it comes to 'entertaining' lovers - even since he younger, if Erwin Smith is having sex everyone will know it, does not help he's a screamer (Nile and Mike have always teased him about it) but he sees no shame in it - just proof his lover(s) made him feel good and wears it like a badge of honor. And don't think he's alone in this, he will make damn well sure you're just as satisfied until your lungs go sore.

But if you are embarrassed of having people give you awkward looks afterwards, the solution is actually very simple: gag him. It could be with anything really; your underwear, your fingers, your hands around his thick neck, your hole/cock, get really creative with it :) And if you want yourself to not be heard, just tell him I'm sure he can think of some naughty ideas too.

Erwin has... complicated issues with relationships, both being Commander and focusing on attaining his dream he'd rather not be tied down to a serious relationship, but he has no issue with a friends with benefits type situation - stress relief. God does he need stress relief. However, if you are in a serious relationship with him then it's clear you're obviously very special to him - which also complicates things. For one I see him refusing to date a civilian so you have to be in the Survey Corps and fully understand what that means, to fully understand the 'delicate your hearts' oath and fully know damn well either of you could die at any time each time you step outside the Walls. Plus Erwin has a lot - and I mean a lot of enemies, you being someone someone so dear and close to him makes you a number one target and he knows that, he struggles with that, however it's a good motivator in a way; keeps him more focused and on guard, it makes him more careful, it makes him gather more and more blackmail on certain people if needed. That being said, the sex between you and him if you're dating - or hell married - is full blown romantic.

Don't get me wrong, he'll still blow your back out if you ask, but most of the times when you both find the time to sink to each other's touch it's with this air of gentleness Erwin has honestly never experienced with another partner, even Marie. You're... something special to him. Maybe it's because unlike past romantic interests - both men and women - you actually understand what's going on inside his head, you get how important his dreams are, you get his guilt, you actually know the... unspeakable wonder (beside all the titan killing fellow comrades thing) of what it's like outside the Walls. Freedom.

His kisses are so gentle yet grounded, he makes sure to kiss every inch of your body while muttering all sorts of praise and adoration with his lips pressed up against your skin so you can feel his words.

His big, thick fingers work open your hole/pump around your cock with steady rhythm as he takes you on his bed. He loves feeling your hands spring up and encourage his actions by messing up his normally perfect stylized hair and turning it into a complete blonde mess.

Loves hearing you, your voice sounds like absolute heaven to him if there is one and your voice crying out his name over and over and over and over and over again as he makes you come with nothing but his fingers/hand never fails to briefly send him there each time.

When he's inside you he can't help but feel overwhelmed, you're so warm and tight hugging your walls around him and if you're smaller than him he will never fail to tell you how seeing his cock not even able to completely enter all the way inside without the tip of his cock already pressed to deep that his head is rubbing at the deepest part it can go without you completely breaking entirely. If you're around the same size or maybe even a little bigger, then it's still the same, it brings a wide stupid grin on his face to look back as he has your legs tossed back and you're on your back you taking his prick all the way up to his base, balls resting comfortably against your ass. He feels ecstasy when he can start fucking deep into you.

When I said loud, I mean loud-loud. And if you're more than just an occasional fuck? Double that by like - twenty. He will vocalize each and every single thing he's feeling and is on his mind as he pounds into you. The headboard? Is banging against the wall so loud that Cadets two floors down in the Mess Hall can hear it and could mistake it for Wall Rose getting breached. It's an absolute miracle that shit hasn't split in two yet and especially with how one of Erwin’s hands clutches down onto it to keep himself grounded as he fucks you, moaning and groaning your name and all sorts of curses so loud that Levi’s viciously kicking the wall down the hall in his own office just as loud to tell you two to shut the fuck up but neither of you can hear it as you're so fucking lost in one another.

Call him Commander in bed. Do it. That twenty will turn into a hundred so fucking fast, not as fast as Erwin rearranges you to turn around - front facing the bedroom door - and straddling his hips with your back to him and your arms are held behind your back as he roughly bounces you on his lap. Everyone in this damn building and outside it will know what you're doing.

I mentioned his hairy chest? Yeah, well that adds a nice friction on your back and his chest is so plump you can lay back in them almost like pillows. Meaty, hairy, pillows. It's nice. They jiggle underneath you btw.

When he comes it's like a geyser going off inside you - literally. He'll fill you so full and your ears will practically ring from how loud he'll scream unless you quickly muffle his mouth up with your own or something, if not... well, everyone already knows what you've been doing at this point. If not? They certainly do now. But you try not to think about it, watching the flood of come pouring out of your when his cock slips out and staining both your and his thighs and the bedsheets.

Erwin acts practically drunk in the afterglow, his words are slurred and he has this wide toothy smile on his face you can't help but to kiss. This is the true stress relief. Here, his thoughts are the furthest from everything; the Walls, the titans, the Government, the Crown, the maybe-possible-if-his-father's-right people living outside the Walls... his dream... all of it. This is one few times he can completely distract himself away from all of it. He isn't Erwin Smith, Commander of the Survey Corps and accidental murder of his father - he's just... Erwin. And he's with you, just you - not Squad Leader (Name) (Surname). Just you, (Name). Nothing outside this very room matters, just laying in each other's arms and taking in the glow of being with one another. Knowing damn well you'll have to remember and face it all once you leave here.

But it's fine. He wouldn't be with you nor you would him if you didn't know that, if you didn't want to fight back against everything that be - if you didn't want Erwin’s dream to come true. And everyday, bit by bit you make further strides for that dream, together. You’ll reclaim Wall Maria, capture outside the Walls, beat the titans, learn the truth of what's to know about them. And see that thing mentioned in one of Erwin’s forbidden hidden books his father left... what was it again? Oh yeah, the sea. The ocean.

You two will see that together. You promised one another. No matter what.

Levi Ackerman

Right off the bat it should be stated: Levi has a complicated relationship with sex - it should be obvious, given how he grew up. Where he grew up. What his mother did for a living, and... he very much grew up aware of what she did. It's not just sex either, relationships, dating as a whole he's... complicated with.

Two things: Levi doesn't do causal flings, he doesn't do causal relationships. If he's with you in the first place it's because he loves you. If he didn't he wouldn't be with you and it's that simple, he's doesn't vocalize it much - he has... issues with words, serious, emotion-y words - but if you're with him at all romantically in the first place you already know him fluently enough to understand that. He doesn't have to say "I love you," very often - you already know he does, and when he actually does voice it, it's always at the absolute most vulnerable positions he can be to show you how much he genuinely means it.

Trust is important to him. Very important. He loves you, he wouldn't be with you if he didn't as we already established that. Sex? Completely different ball park. If he wants to he sexually active with you it is beyond trust with him. It's beyond just trusting his own life in your hands, it's beyond letting you handle his old knives, it's beyond trusting you enough to tell you horror stories of how he grew up, it's beyond telling you just how close Farlan and Isabel were to him that they were practically siblings to him, it's beyond telling you about Kenny and how for the longest time and still sometimes that it fucks him up to think... he knew his mother - doesn't know how, the bastard always refused to ever tell him, and then just one day for no fucking reason just... walked out. Walked out without a word or anything. Left him to barely survive down there on his own until Farlan and Isabel. How for years... he was convinced the bastard might be his father. Because what else could he be? Visiting and knowing his dead mother by name - her actual name - and picking Levi up and saving him when he was on the brink of starvation, if Kenny hadn't arrived when he did then... he might've very well been dead by the next day. It's just... or it was hard to think up any other possible explanation but this MP killing bastard being his dad. But now, he isn't sure - nowadays doesn't really care to find out, hell the bastard could be rotting in a ditch for all he cares. He's never told another soul that - just you. Between you and him there's something deeper than trust.

Now, I know a lot of other headcanons tend to make Levi out to be this super dom sexy sex sex man or whatever, but no. He has no fucking experience whatsoever, until he made this connection with you he absolutely refused to - always thinking about that sunk look in his mother's eyes after dealt with clients and how she'd fake the warmth in them to hide the hurt when Levi would be let back in the room by one of her lady 'work friends' and she'd talk to him so lovingly and sweetly... until she got another knock on the door and he'd have to leave again. That sunken look in her eyes immediately returning and even as a kid he'd want to attack the bastards he knew was the cause of her hurt. And that's how he seen sex for the longest time, didn't fucking help with all the degenerates pigs Underground. He can count on both hands and toes and it still not be enough how how many fucking pigs he's had to gut for staring at Isabel the wrong gross way - a child. Still makes him sick. All these years later. So he's stayed away from it. Fought against it, even up against the absolute worst the Underground had to offer.

However, the longest he'd had bad associations with it, but... with you it's different. You're different, different than a lot of people and that's because of the beyond trust thing. He can be different around you - not the smartass, foul mouthed, titan killing machine people know him as now, he can be... vulnerable, alone with you - and he wants to be. He really does, he loves you afterall and... he wants to give himself to you, completely, because that's how special you are but...

It's stupid, he tells himself - he's a grown man, he's in his late twenties right now, acting and beating himself up in such a childish way over a natural thing. What's wrong with him? But it's you to calm him down, telling him you don't have to do anything and that you're content just the way things are between the two of you now. That you didn't need to go further - ever if he wished, that you love him no matter what. But the thing is... he wants to. There's just this - this mental block he can't seem to get across, no matter how hard he tried. Humanity's strongest? Or whatever it is they're calling him now? Scared of what? He scolds himself. Losing his virginity? The two of you share a bed together to sleep in - this shouldn't - shouldn't - shit. But... you look at him. The two of you sit together on the bed and you look up/down/straight forward at him (depending on your height) and he just... feels at ease, he remembers why he loves and beyond trusts you in the first place, that everything's fine, everything will be fine as he puts a hand to your cheek, rubbing his thumb over your bottom lip as he gives a steady nod and melts his lips with yours.

That being all said, yeah, Levi’s a virgin. He doesn't really have all that much idea of what he's doing, just goes by his gut and will rely on you to actively tell him what to do, what you want, and how you want it. But Levi - being the prodigy in every new skill he learns, doesn't take long for things to start clicking together in place. Half in hour and your virgin lover you'd think was actually a sex deity in human form - things just... click for him in that odd way it does for him learning new things (weird fucking Ackerman genes in work in real time, actually)

Insane head-game. Think he mouth I'd just good for crass insults and shit jokes? Nope, but honestly that should be expected. After the first few experimental pokes and licks around, enough to get a good idea of how to get you going, will his mouth latch onto and kiss, bite, and suck around the opening to your wet hole then stuck fucking his tongue deep inside and thrusting in all the sweet places/or mark fondle your balls with his mouth before working up your shaft kissing your head before absolutely deepthroating and going to town on you - no gag reflex, shocker. He loves the way you taste and can go on and on and make you come again, and again, and again, and again repeatedly until you loose your mind or voice. Or both.

Want to play with his insecurities? Not maliciously of course, but in universe I think Levi’s thought of as """"""""ugly"""""" and if that's the case you can imagine what types of disgusting shit people has called/said to him. He doesn't mind or care, especially these days as he's older but... call him handsome, or gorgeous and Levi’s a really pale guy, even if he's been above ground a couple years he's still wasn't born a 'sun-walker' so when he blushes it practically dyes his entire face and goes all the way up to his ears. It's cute. Even more cute when he growls, frowns, and scowls as he tries to hide it and distract you by suddenly entering you - which breaks the facade almost immediately as he goes wide eyed and nearly out of breath as he feels you around him. You overwhelm him, he burries himself in your neck not to let himself bottom out. His chest rocks with each breath and he's quick to litter your neck and collar in bites.

Hope you like it here, virgin or not with that Ackerman stamina you're going to be here awhile as he absolutely rocks your world. For hours and hours on end until the both of you are drenched in sweat and the wall has a crack in it from the bed moving.

Very quiet - nearly silent actually except for the occasional gritted curse and heavy breathing. But the longer you go on the more comfortable he actually gets making noise; moans, grunts, and punched out intakes of your name.

He'll fuck you until your legs go numb, wrapped around his hips and encouraging every thrust he gives you and you'll come over and over until you're light headed, bit with him there seems to be no end in sight as he onyx colored hair swoops down and dances with each and every single one of his movements as he looks down almost dazed at you.

Tell him out loud you love him and he'll come on spot.

Silvery grays practically roll back inside of his head when he hits his release and he'll be louder than anything he's been all night before finally his body gives out and collapses on top of you. Wide pleased smile on his face that's for no one inside these entire damn Walls or below ground to see - accept for you. It's only for you. This all is only for you.

After falling unconscious for about forty seconds Levi wakes back up with his normal expected demeanor, this time he just lies there in your arms and presses himself lazily in your neck. When he speaks it's slightly muffled, but it's fine. You ask him if he had a good time - which he tells you is a stupid question and should be obvious, getting a light laugh out of you as you go to comb through his sweaty hair.

He makes it very clear later that this isn't a regular thing, a once maybe a month type thing until... he gets a better understanding with it. "Shit takes time, you know." And you agree, telling him to take all the time he needs which he just lies there for another lingering moments before pushing himself up and pushing his lips to your own.

A bath sounds good now.

Hanji Zoë

Doesn't really have that much experience, WAY too invested in their work to really have had the time. But! That doesn't mean they're not ready and willing to learn - very opposite in fact, honestly. They are absolutely over the MOON when you come out and say you want to fuck them! They get so excited that they rush off into whatever direction of the nearest library to learn and come up with ideas of what to do with you that they sort of leave you there behind in dust 😅 but not to worry, Moblit's there (somewhat very embarrassed to walk in on this exchange) but he promises you that your Squad Leader means well they're just... you know, eccentric.

Books on sexuality and other ""taboo"" stuff of that nature are looked down upon in the higher society of the Walls, but they're not that hard to find if you know where to look, and luckily Hanji knows where a bunch of them are - in fact they know a lot of libraries have them in a 'secret' section - but pulling a few strings and hinting at knowing about a married librarian's affair with a nurse down the street Hanji is able to gather a bunch of books to bring back to Headquarters! They spend all next and the next few days looking over them, reading them cover to cover - only having to explain to Nanaba once who came to visit their office and curiously had picked up one, only to immediately set it back down when seeing the one of the crude sexual diagrams drawn inside before immediately excusing herself.

So, with all this learning and newly attained precious knowledge and a bit of self discovery, turns out Hanji Zoë is a kinky mother fucker. They excitedly jot down all sorts of things that catch their interest, said list turns several pages long that when shown and told about your eyes nearly bug out of your head. Your face turns scorched hot as you tell your lover that maybe best for now just to... narrow it down to three things, then the both of you could talk and work up to it.

And that's where it stays for a couple of weeks, nothing really happens and things go on as normal, until one day when you're at the Superiors table in the Mess Hall as Erwin draws on and on about Banquet plans - AKA 'entertaining' and kissing ass to the nobles and the Brass to beg for funding for the next expedition outside Wall Maria - to you, Levi, Nanaba, and Mike, until suddenly Hanji comes springing down the hall and grabs your arm and pulls you completely off the bench seat to where you fall on your ass.

"Sorry-important-titan-research-matters-need-to-borrow-(Name)-bye!" And they drag you off, your ass still on the floor. Leaving everyone else at that table speechless.

You're about to scold your lover the moment you get inside the door, now at your feet, and your just about to until Hanji pushes you back against the wood in a feverish kiss that leaves you breathless. When they pull away they have a wide shit eating grin on their face. Okay. You're much calmer now. You let yourself be dragged across the small office and shoved onto the bed tucked in the corner - Hanji gives you a wink and excitedly goes for a couple boxes at their desk, handing them to you for you to open.

Rope. A... harness looking thing that looks like... underwear? With an odd hoop in the middle. And... a large phallic shaped object that makes your eyes go shot wide. Okay, you tell yourself. This must be their three.

"Two actually," They correct you without you even having to say it out loud. "-this is three." Without much effort they start pulling off their uniform to reveal the pretty white laced lingerie they have on that makes you go entirely speechless. They push their glasses up further on their nose with a head tilt. "You like?" You nod without even feeling yourself do so. "Good." You... didn't know to whether be scared or aroused at that glint in their eyes.

You're naked and tied up from post to post with the red velvety rope as your lover straddles you and map out every part of your body with their hands, committing each bump, scar, and curve to memory. Hanji looks at you with this inquisitive look in their eyes - the same look they get during one of their experiments but yet, it's almost different than that, or is it? They touch you and look back up to your face for a reaction, they like watching you squirm but not be able to do anything with your limbs tied and can only whimper and moan for them, they like that very much actually. You can't touch them either, as they straddle you your hips do buck into them - getting a gasp out of them but with their hands suddenly around your neck they scold you with a pointed wagging finger. "Bad, naughty."

Their hips starts grounding into you as they begin touching themselves with only you helpless to watch their hand disappear down lace panties and start working themselves over, making sure to make plenty of noises you can hear until suddenly their slick hand is shoved into your mouth and you're ordered to suck, which you do until they're roughly yanked out be replaced but their breathless kiss instead - tasting their own arousal off you. Then they get an idea.

With a wide smile off their face do they maneuver around the bed to where they're above you and moves the panties aside for you to eat at them as they sit on your face. They hum and moan out all sorts of praises as they let you know how good of a job your doing eating out their pussy like it was your last meal, and since Hanji wants to be the dominant party here, they're not afraid to order you around a bit - reminding you that they are your Squad Leader and you should address them as so. So get ready to add "Yes, Squad Leader," to each and every you say tonight :)

For being so good, they give you a reward: while you continue to eat them out, they'll bend slightly over, spread you legs slightly apart to comfortly position themselves to eat out your hole/or gag around your cock, all nice and good for their beloved favorite squad member until you both come at least a couple times each, and if you're to type to get overstimulated, they'll reassure how well you're doing and tell you in the softest voice they can: "One more, just one more." until you come again.

Once you're done with that and Hanji wobbles off the bed, legs shaking, as they go to gather the harness and dick shaped object off the floor. They slip off the lingerie panties and stuff them in your mouth with a; "Hold these, please." As your lover then boucy legs each of their legs through the leg-holes and carefully latches each strap - only pausing when they look over and realized they forgot the dick. Oopsie. Fix that.

With it finally on they kneel back on top the bed, untying yours legs and arms and rubbing each appendage carefully, muttering to ask if you're okay in your ear - you nod. Now, it doesn't matter to Hanji how big or small you are. You are going on their lap - no matter how maybe ridiculous you maybe might look, you are straddled their hips at your sex is rubbed against their fake dick. But of course, you're not getting it first without begging for it, or beg for it enough for your lover's liking.

When it's in and your hips are encouraged by Hanji's hands at your hips to start bouncing on it, at your own pace at the start, until a sudden slap to your ass encourages you go faster and you make a noise - muffled by the panties still in your mouth - to your lover's shit eating grinned delight as they start thrusting their hips to meet the back or your thighs in wet snaps.

Hanji absolutely loves having their chest marked up, after ripping the underwear from out of your mouth they'll hold your head to bite at their breasts that gets them to toss their head back in a satisfied hum.

Eventually, will push you to your back and start pounding away at you in their own pace, committing every sound you make to memory and drinking in every call of their name like they were on the brink of dehydration and bit by bit more they push you to the absolute edge - until you nearly scream out your climax, for it to be quickly smoothed by their lips and a tight fist wadded in your hair.

Both of you are jelly boned by the time your finished, completely naked now up in each other's arms and honestly half asleep. That is until you chuckle, nuzzling your face in the crook of your love's neck. "I think that might've been just a tad more than three things," you tell them, which they shrug. "What can I say? I got creative in the moment, you know - there's a ton of things in those books! Maybe some stuff you'll like-" You wave it off with a yawn.

"Maybe later. Nap time now," You can't help the amused smile. "-Squad Leader."

If you like what you read please consider reblogging! It means the world for writers and artists!

[doedrafts]

Rumor has it (Part 3) | Tom Blyth

pairing: Tom Blyth x fem!actress!reader

summary: Ever since the premiere of tbosas fans of yours have been shipping you with your costar, Tom Blyth. Is it all just rumors or were they right all along?

a/n: I’m loving all the support I’ve been getting with this mini series so here are the links to part 1 & part 2 if you haven’t been caught up! As always feedback is appreciated and requests are open!

ynusername Say hello to my nephew, Lenny 🐶 @rachelzegler @tomblyth

view all comments

user1 not YN calling Lenny her nephew I CANT

↳ user3 I mean her and Rachel are practically sisters at this point 🥺

↳ user1 true

user4 I never wanted to be a dog so bad in my entire life until now

↳ user2 BARKBARKBARKBARK

↳ user5 why do I relate to this comment so bad 😫

user6 I guess that makes Tom the uncle

user2 Didn’t Tom say he’s getting a dog in an interview and the breed he mentioned is YN’s favorite

↳ user3 they’ll make great dog parents

rachelzegler come back Lenny misses you two 😭

↳ user5 Lenny is a real one

↳ user4 If YN and Tom left me I’d be missing them too

↳ user2 we need more Lenny content from them pls

tomyndaily It’s the way he’s looking at @ynusername in this pic for me 😫

view all comments

user3 Idk who to be jealous of YN or Rachel?!

↳ user1 same

↳ user6 I’m jealous of Tom tbh 😤

user2 He looks at her with so much love and admiration

↳ user4 men take notes ✍️

user5 can’t wait to see more of them on the red carpet soon

↳ user2 I just know they’re going to slay

ynusername Coryo may not be a gentleman, but @tomblyth sure is. Tbosas is out now in theaters everywhere!! 🌹🎶🐍

view all comments

user3 the Taylor Swift reference!!

↳ user1 she’s not wrong though

↳ user2 not mother quoting mother

user4 I wish Tom Blyth was real 😭

↳ ynusername me too 😔

↳ user5 OMG YALL SHE REPLIED

↳ user3 she’s too funny

tomyndaily I love how she took this while Tom picked her up from the airport

↳ user6 proof?

↳ tomyndaily posted in stories

rachelzegler did you just Mike Wazowski me? 🙃

↳ ynusername I just realized I did after posting it sorry not sorry 😆

user1 YALL TOM LIKED HER POST

↳ user5 as he should

yntomsources A old pic of Tom at @ynusername house back in 2022 while they were filming tbosas taking from her insta stories

view all comments

user4 I never seen this pic before

user2 buzzcut Tom for the win

↳ user3 agree to disagree

↳ user1 it’s not that serious

user5 I went to her stories but I don’t see it anywhere 🤔

↳ yntomsources she deleted it

↳ user6 I guess she wasn’t a fan of the buzzcut 🫢

↳ user4 team flowing locks is better

user2 we have to spam her now to see which she prefers skskskskksksks

↳ user3 BET

taglist: @bada-lee-ily (lmk if anyone else would like to be tagged in future projects)

[will80sbyers]

Will: when we find El again we can become rich and play d&d instead of working

Mike: totally... Except she basically dumped my ass so I'm definitely not getting any money because she doesn't even want me around probably and that's why she left me behind because I'm not good for anything and I can't protect anyone and El literally doesn't need me in her life because I'm not even as smart and accomplished as Lois Lane was I'm just a random nerd that found a mini superhero that needed help and now she doesn't anymore so I'm useless 🤡

Will: uhhhh no one is allowed to talk badly about the love of my life not even the love of my life so shut up and take all of this love!!! *LOVE BEAM ATTACK* 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

Mike: uh...😳 You know, maybe it's okay if she doesn't want me... maybe I now want you to want me.... Idk just feeling crazy, don't mind me my head is a bit confused 🥴

[love-byers]

I was never on board for m*leven as a ship because of season 1, what do you mean you’re gonna throw a super powered girl, who escaped from a lab, that knows nothing about the world into a romance???

It’s not healthy for her, she didn’t even know who she is as a person and only started exploring her identity season 2 on wards. Idk the shop never sat right with me because of that.

yep i 100% agree and i was only 12 when s1 came out

byler was not even in my stratosphere when i first saw s1, and i felt the same. completely honestly, i was hoping mike would be gay just because at the time i was tired of straight people and just wanted some queer rep. idk why i picked mike but i did lol

but i got over that quick and didn't hate mlvn or anything, i thought they were cute. but still i felt like their kiss came out of nowhere, like it genuinely shocked me. and i really don't know why, but i just didn't like the scene. something just felt off about them.

and overall i felt the same, that el literally knew nothing about the world or relationships and was jumping into a romantic relationship after being free for a week. it just didn't feel healthy. and at the time, i didn't like the scene where el asked mike if she was still pretty. i mean im not saying HORRIBLE TOXIC ABUSIVE like of course its not that, but in the long run for their relationship i just didn't like it. i didn't think el seeking validation from mike like that was setting up a long healthy relationship. like we see el see nancy's picture and call her pretty, and later she goes in nancy's room and looks at all her pictures from throughout her life, and it makes her sad. she wants to feel that way--like a normal, pretty girl.

then when mike dresses her up to go to the school, she feels pretty. she asks mike if she looks pretty, and he says yes. she's seeking validation from him. and later when her wig gets messed up and she looks at herself in the waters reflection and tries to put it back on, it infuriates her, because she doesn't feel pretty anymore. and when she sees mike again, she once again seeks out the validation. she was worried that mike wouldn't think she was pretty anymore. it really makes me think that el did not love mike, or the other way around. she latched onto him because he was the first person to show her kindness and make her feel normal. they kissed after a WEEK. thats not love, thats attachment. jumping into a relationship because of complex trauma and attachment without having time to consider their actual compatibility as a couple.

and yes yes yes i know they're 7th graders, they're not going to be perfect, but this is a television show. we only get to see a sliver of these relationships in the long term, so what we do see needs to be building them up and making them likable. there is no time to break them down and build them up again. thats just not how you write a love story.

[elephantshoetoo]

💙💛💚

Hello lovely Bylers,

Aren't Bylers, like, the nicest people? I feel like anyone who hates Will because he cries too much (um... wouldn't you...?!) or doesn't understand the struggle poor Mike is going through... those people either need to learn some empathy or just straight up don't have a heart at all.

Anyways...

I made this drawing, "Byler in the Upside Down" for Volume 2 of my fanfic "The Byler Files," which is posted on AO3.

If you've read Volume 1, you may know I wrote that one for my autistic lesbian daughter, @pinksmonkey (idk if the autistic and lesbian parts are pertinent here, but... actually, they are - since they explain why LGBTQ+ representation is so important to us, and why her special interests are so all-encompassing.) Volumes 2 and beyond, I wrote for myself, because it was the most fun I've had writing anything in my life and I really missed it when the first one was over. They do get much steamier (nothing actually explicit, but... close), so be forewarned they are intended for a mature audience.

So, if you love Will and Mike as much as I do, please check them out. And as always, kudos and comments are greatly appreciated.

Thanks so much,

Love,

Byler Mom

💙💛💚

*This artwork is also available on RedBubble (on merch like t-shirts, hoodies, posters, mugs, tote bags, blankets, pillows, etc...) under the artist name ElephantShoe -- perfect for all your snuggly Byler needs! 😁

Link to my fan art:

[deandoesthingstome]

Haunted Fantasy

Pairing: Ghost!Mike x Reader

Summary: Just a little fun.

Word Count: 3.8K

Warnings: 18+, NO MINORS, fingering, oral sex (m and f receiving), p in v (doggy style), monster fucking (right?).

A/N: This is about half as short as the others, but I still love it and I hope you do, too. This is my first time writing for Mike as main and I hope I did him justice for those of you who live for this guy.

A/N 2: For those of you who picked a different character for this visit, just know, you weren't entirely wrong. He's coming.

A/N 3: And finally, at one point I had imagined these chapters could all stand alone. Walter feels differently, so maybe check out the masterlist if you're new here.

Fantasy Hotel Masterlist

August was a hit just like you knew he would be. Maybe your best writing yet. Something about the experience with him just brought it out of you and the story flowed from your fingertips to the keyboard as soon as you stepped into your apartment the next morning. 

Yes, you had sprung for an actual overnight. And though he didn’t sleep with you, he was there when you fell asleep and woke again the next day. Apologizing, if you could believe it. He felt he hadn’t truly given you the strict dom experience you had asked for and wondered if he could talk you into a do-over. Maybe even throw in an add-on for free.

You were flattered, but assured him the night had been wonderful and you’d definitely felt satiated this morning. You did want to ask about the…sounds you’d heard the night before, but something told you it wouldn’t be received well so you just thanked him again, enjoyed a little morning coffee while you showered and changed, then headed home. 

Where the story practically wrote itself and was up on the site by the evening.

MNstrluvr: what do you mean? sendmeanangel: it was like someone knew I was in there with August MNstrluvr: so you DO think it was him sendmeanangel: idk. Probably just wishful thinking darkgothnightengale: you have it so bad for him don’t you? sendmeanangel: it’s ridiculous. He must have seen dozens of women in a month or two. I don’t know why i would think he’d be thinking of me ever darkgothnightengale: because August said as much. And Sy too for that matter MNstrluvr: yeah, didn’t Sy tell you Walter rarely uses his gifts during visits? And August said he’d see you at the window. He has it bad for you, too, no doubt sendmeanangel: it doesn't matter anyway. I don’t even know his last name. And i haven’t been able to find any available bookings for him for weeks.   darkgothnightengale: well, are you at least going back? sendmeanangel: if i do, i need something lighter. The room, the bite, August…it was all so intense.  MNstrluvr: so the ghost? sendmeanangel: the ghost

When you closed the door to room 7-743, you found yourself in what looked like the living room of every house on every sitcom you'd ever seen. TV. Couch. Dad's recliner. Coffee table. End tables. A few bookshelves. A fireplace. Standard middle-class scenery. Nothing ornate or fancy. But also, no bed.

You wondered if the door across from the entry led to a bathroom, or another room, similar to the suite you'd found yourself in with August. Before you could step to the other side of the room to find out, a chill passed through the air around you and just as suddenly, as if to counter the effect, a roaring fire eased to life in the fireplace.

"That's better."

"Hello?" you called out in response to the voice, that was both a whisper and a warm tenor in your ear. "Is anyone there?"

Nothing. No answer. Despite the fire next to you, you felt goosebumps and crossed your arms to rub your hands over your skin.

Another deep breath before you continued across the room, determined to see what was behind the other door. Before you made it, an end table lamp switched on.

"Who's there?" You turned in place, looking for any form in the room that could have turned the light on. You were starting to wonder if this was not the haunting you’d signed up for. As you turned again, you felt a cool breeze drift across your chest, and while it felt nice, it also felt a little invasive. “This isn’t funny.”

“Easy, sweet cheeks. It’s just me.” A not-totally opaque figure appeared right in front of you, wide-eyed and with an apologetic smile. “I probably took that introduction too far. I’m Mike.”

You reached your hand for his and grasped nothing but air while he grinned like a fool at you.

“Cute,” you smiled back, even while wondering if you’d ever get to place your hands on something solid this evening.

“Why, thank you,” he took a small bow as you reached to smack his shoulder and found your hand drifting through air again.

“I wasn’t talking about you,” you laughed.

“Oh? You don’t find me pleasant to look at?” Mike grabbed at his chest and stumbled back as if deeply wounded, and for a moment you thought you really had hurt his feelings. “That’s alright. I have a feeling I can change your mind.” Mike stood tall and wiggled his eyebrows at you. Yeah, he definitely had the height you’d come to desire. You wondered about the rest.

“Oh, I didn’t mean to imply… I was just talking about the…” you waved your hand through the air to indicate his less-than-corporeal state and threw a worried look on your face to match your concern that you’d flubbed this meeting already.

Mike let out a full body laugh. “Don’t worry. I’m only joking. You’re free to like whatever looks you like. Wanna sit?” He swept a transparent arm toward the couch as an invitation. You sat on one side, while he drifted down to the other. “You did know you booked the ghost room, right?”

“I did. I don’t know what I was expecting. Not that, obviously. Sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize, but I should ask. Do you want me to stay in this form?”

“You mean this form that I can’t actually feel?” you teased.

Again as if floating, Mike sidled over the length of the couch and right on next to you. You still couldn’t feel a physical connection, no matter how close to you he appeared to be, though the shiver that ran through your body was certainly not due to his cool temperature. He really was cute, no matter what little word games you’d started to play with him.

“It’s that much of a bummer, huh?”

“I mean…”

“Okay, look. I can do one, or the other, or both.”

“Both?” You were intrigued.

“Yeah, but honestly. This can be good and I’d love to show you. Doesn’t have to be now, though. We can start solid.” Mike raised an eyebrow at you and waited for your nod.

“I think for the storyline, it makes more sense, yeah?”

“Oh, fuck!” he exclaimed, suddenly off the couch as if embarrassed. “I totally spaced that! Yeah, yeah, of course. The scene.”

You laughed out loud. This guy was honestly a trip already and you weren’t even naked. In the next moment, you could suddenly no longer glimpse the room through his translucent form and you stood and took another moment to take it in fully.

Black Chucks, dark-washed blue jeans almost too tight around the thighs and definitely supporting a package that appeared to match his predecessors, plain white tee, and a black leather motorcycle jacket. The perfect delinquent boyfriend planning to sneak into the house once the kids you were watching were sound asleep, their parents still several hours away from returning for the evening. To be fair, you weren't sure how you expected a solid form host to deliver the ghost fantasy, but thankfully it sounded like Mike had a plan. And that had to be plenty of time for some fun.

“I’ll step out for a minute. Reset the scene, okay?” he tilted his adorable head full of somewhat unruly curls at you, gave a ridiculous wink and exited the room. 

You settled back down on the couch, grabbed the random book sitting on the end table and started to thumb through the pages, as if just settling down after putting the kids to bed. The passage you flipped to caught your attention and you barely even noticed that you’d read through several pages before a loud bump sounded on the ceiling above you, followed by the sound of chains dragging before the window behind you started rattling.

“Jesus! What the fuck!” you exclaimed, already forgetting the story you’d put yourself in. You set your book down and stood, ear tilted up waiting for more noise before you stepped to the window, placing a palm against the glass to still the shaking. You checked the lock and found it holding, so imagined yourself safe again.

You sat back down, picked up the book, flipped a few more pages before you decided to turn on the TV, first glancing at your watch to check the time. He’s got to be close now, you thought. This was the time I told him to come. The kids are out like lights.

The TV sprang to life with a scary movie already in progress. You recognized it and wished Mike were here, already. If you knew the time marker, you were about to be scared out of your wits. The imagery always made you jump, no matter how many times you saw it. Almost on queue, a heavy knock sounded at the door, just as the jump scare presented on screen, and you could swear you heard the chains rattling again.

At your shriek, the door burst open and Mike had you in his arms.

“You okay, sweet cheeks? I heard a scream just as I got here. Sorry I was late.”

“Mike! There’s something in the house. Plus this godforsaken movie.” You clung to your temporary boyfriend, trembling in his arms.

“Whoa, whoa, something in the house?” he inquired with concern. “Want me to take a look?”

“NO! Stay here with me,” you implored him. “Please, Mike.”

“Okay, okay. Come on, let’s sit. But if we hear something else, I’m checking it out, okay?”

You agreed and took a spot on the couch, waiting for Mike to take off his jacket and sit down as well. You cuddled up next to him, curling your knees under you and leaning against his side. You draped a hand over his chest and could hardly stifle a small smile as you felt his firm body beside you. His arm wrapped around your shoulder and his hand and fingers caressed your upper arm. 

The movie only got a few more moments of your eyes before Mike’s hand began to wander further and further from your upper arm to instead drape down the front of your collarbone and onto your breast. At your soft moan, Mike gave a small squeeze as if testing the waters further and your response gave him permission to begin to knead in earnest as he bent his head to capture your lips with his.

His kiss was hungry and erratic, a little messy partly due to the orientation of your bodies, which Mike took upon himself to remedy. As deftly as anyone had ever been, he simultaneously withdrew his arm from around your shoulder, turned and pushed you eagerly to your back while he scooped your legs straight to stretch you out beneath him.

He slotted a leg between your thighs and pressed into your tender core as he bent to kiss you again. It was then that you realized the hungry, messy style had nothing to do with body positioning. His tongue swiped over your lips and into your open waiting mouth and you gasped as a hand roamed all over your body, but paid special attention to your breasts.

“Mmm, Mike, that feels so nice,” you moaned.

“I’ll gladly give these amazing tits more attention,” he smirked, pulling the v-neck of your loose t-shirt to give his mouth room to move. You didn’t think about how you would never get the shape back and the shirt was basically ruined, but honestly it wasn’t the most comfortable feeling so you pushed him back a bit to give you space to cross your arms and grab the hem. 

As soon as he saw the motion, he was grappling with your body and the fabric around it with the same frenzy he used to kiss you. It wasn’t exactly a help, but together you removed your shirt and bra, tossing them to the floor as you reclined back to receive him over you again. More kisses, with his lips burning yours and your hands running up his back and neck to grip into his luscious brown wavy hair and hold his face to yours. More grinding of your hips up into his where the growing bulge in his pants pushed into your belly. 

“Fuck, you feel good,” he groaned into your ear before nipping his way down your neck and back onto your chest. Wet, sloppy kisses trailed down the swell of your breast before he wrapped his kissable lips around your ever-hardening bud, licking and nipping and sucking several moans from you before giving the other nipple the same attention.

At the same time you felt fingers trailing down your tummy and into your jeans, where they slipped between the fabric of your underwear and the slick already seeping from you.

“Holy pussy, you are wet!” Mike exclaimed and you giggled, relishing the lightness of the evening. This was simply a little fun, with a bit of strapping young fluff and you were grateful for the time already.

“It’s all for you, baby. I get so wet for you. Can’t wait to feel you.”

Mike dove for your lips again, pressing his tongue into your mouth and his fingers into your burning core. He was driving you crazy and you never wanted it to stop. Mike withdrew his fingers only long enough to pop the button and pull the zipper down on your jeans, allowing more space for his hand to snake behind your panties and curl into your aching cunt.

With what felt like very practiced ease, he stroked and nudged your walls, pushing in and pulling out while he pressed a thumb against your tender pearl. With every new moan of pleasure, Mike slid his fingers a little deeper and crooked them a little more until he found a spot that clearly made you scream in a way that was so completely unlike the one he heard when he re-entered the room that he had to crack a wide grin, knowing he was making you come undone. He kissed the last of your gasps away, still stroking slow and lazily around your soaked folds.

You let him place one last deep kiss on your lips before you gathered your wits and pressed him back, moving up and over to straddle his lap. It was your turn now to kiss him deep while your fingers curled around an article of his clothing and you urged him to lift his arms so you could remove his shirt. With the break of the kiss he found time to ask a quick question.

“Are you sure they won’t be back soon?” he asked, still playing along with the fantasy that you had made up for the room.

“Mike, since when have you cared if you get caught fucking the babysitter?” you teased. 

“You’re right, I don’t. But I think you do, so we have time, right?”

God he was so sweet. “Yeah, baby. We have all the time we need. Now sit back and let me make you feel good.”

You pressed up to standing so you could step your legs inside his and kneel in front of him. Once you’d pulled off his shoes and unbuttoned his jeans, he helped you drag them down with a press of his hips up off the couch. God, you wanted to feel that press into you.

You licked your lips to get ready as you pulled them all the way off, along with his underwear. You were positively salivating. From your spot on the floor, you took him into your mouth and began to bob, slowly at first, building up saliva to lubricate your movements before you started to really go for it.

When he put his hand on the back of your head, the moan you let go reverberated through your body. As you peered up at him through your eyelashes, you saw him toss his head back as he pushed one last time into your throat before he stilled both his hips and your head and held you there, telling you how he was "about to come in that pretty little mouth of yours, just gimme a minute cause I don’t want to finish just yet, and oh fuck!" the moment you wiggled your tongue in your mouth and sent him over the edge.

He had just pulled you back up into his lap, pressing your chest against his and kissing you again, completely unfazed by any lingering come he might encounter as he dipped his tongue into your mouth, when the noise returned.

You jumped right off his lap, grabbing for any shirt you could reach and holding it over your chest.

“Jesus, sweet cheeks. You weren’t joking,” Mike said, bending to grab his pants. “I’m checking it out. Stay here.”

You looked around the room, trying to identify the safest place to huddle up. Why you decided standing with your back against the door was it, you couldn’t really say. Mike stepped back to the door on the opposite side of the room. The one you’d never had a chance to open. You had no idea where he was going.

Or how long he’d be gone.

It had to be two hours later, when you woke up to find yourself curled up on the couch, Mike’s shirt all the way on, your feet freezing. Had you really fallen asleep waiting for Mike to come back? Had you bothered to call anyone? What had happened? 

You heard a door open and shut and sat up quickly, expecting to see Mike returned from wherever but instead you saw nothing. No one was there.

You felt a chill near you for a brief moment before it started to warm against the skin on your back, and you felt the breath on your nape. 

“I told you. I’m gonna take real good care of you,” the voice whispered in your ear while invisible fingertips slipped the shirt from your body, pausing for a moment to appreciate that you hadn’t put your bra back on. You arched into the squeeze and wished that when you lifted your arms behind your head, you’d have been able to grab onto the back of his head as he continued to nuzzle into your neck.

Instead you felt a gentle pull and push that had you backed up against the back of the couch, slouched low so that your jeans came off easily enough. Funnily, you hadn’t bothered to re-zip or button them before you fell asleep apparently.

You didn’t have time to think about that any longer because suddenly, the most amazing, ethereal touch was drifting up one thigh and then the other before settling back inside your pussy. And for a few moments, it felt so familiar and you trusted Mike to get you where you needed to go now, the same way he did then.

But he didn’t. What he did instead was put his ghostly mouth right on your flower, slipping the feeling of a tongue deep in your core as if he were a bee seeking the nectar. There was nothing for you to do but enjoy it. There was no head to clasp onto, no hands to reach for, no face to caress. There was only the exquisite feeling of having your pussy eaten, with licks and sucks in the exact right combination to keep you moaning and begging for mercy even though he knew you could take more.

You were right there, almost there, you could feel it and then it was suddenly gone and your eyes sprung open when you heard the voice in your ear.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I could do that all night, but fuck what I really want right now is to bend you over and fuck you. Can I do that? I’ll go back down if that’s what you want, but I would love to make you come all over my cock. Wrapped of course.”

You were dumb-struck, trying to swim back to shore. You’d been so close and you thought it was over, but every word that dripped out of his mouth made you clench around nothing and you wanted to be clenching around something. 

“Fuck yes, Mike. Fuck. Please fuck me,’ you pleaded. 

And you were well rewarded. A gentle, but urgent force shifting you to bend over, knees on the edge of the couch, hands braced against the back. Sounds of crinkly wrapper. Faint rubbery squeaks as he struggled to fit the condom over his erection. Pop of top and cool liquid rubbed into your heat. Tip pressed in, head popped through, length dragging along your insides. In and out and for all you knew there was an actual body behind you, fucking you into the back of this couch like there was no tomorrow. A body you were bucking back against as well.

When you twisted your head back, to try to get a glimpse, to try to see what this guy looked like fucking into you with wild abandon, angling to reach all the good spots, you saw nothing. It was like you were just going through the motions in some kind of fever dream, but it felt so fucking real. 

And it sounded real, too. Because for as many moans and gasps and ohs and fuck yeahs that come out of your mouth, the same number of sensual and mind melting sounds came from him somehow too,

“Fuck, yeah, sweet cheeks. Fuck back onto my cock. Just like that.”

“God Mike, I’m gonna come again.”

“Yeah you are. You’re gonna come all over this cock. Just like that.”

And with that he managed to speed up just enough to send himself careening over the edge, widening and pulsing inside you, so that you, too, got to join him on the trip back to the bottom. From the highest of the highs. You felt like you were floating.

When you woke up again, you were back in Mike’s shirt, a blanket over your lap, and Mike’s arm around you as you rested your head in his lap. Him. Solid Mike. Jeans and socks. Nothing else.

“There you are, sweet cheeks. Have a good nap?’ he grinned down at you.

“I don’t think I had any other choice but to try to recoup some energy after you completely and totally fucked me into the void. I hope that’s okay.”

“Oh, yeah, yeah,” Mike replied in a tone you could tell was meant to dispel your concern. “Sweet cheeks, we have as long as you need.”

It took you a moment, but you finally realized what he was saying.

“Do you have the same gift Walt, uh, the werewolf, has?” you asked, hoping Mike didn’t hear your slip.

“Yeah, sweet cheeks, Marshall and me have the same gift.”

Well, no luck. Wait a minute…

“Who’s Marshall?” you asked.

“Walter. Walter Marshall. Our werewolf,” Mike answered. “Well, former werewolf.”

It was like a record scratch. You knew now why finding a slot with him had proven so hard lately. And you knew his last name.

Bonus Edit: Absolutely GORGEOUS headers made for me by my wonderful friend in fic @geralts-yenn:

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