#identity crisis cw

[groupalpha]

Warning! This comic has an act of killing and blood!

Comic under cut!

TA: ... This.... I... remember this place. I...

TA: I hated it here... they... they put me in that thing.

TA: ... I.. wasn't supposed to be here... I wasn't... I don't even recognize myself anymore... does that even matter? I... no... no no no no...

TA: ... I.. gosh I just.. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

TA: ... I need to find a way to shut this place down...

TA: ...Bubbles?

TA: Bubbles?

TA: Bubbles?!

TA: BUBBLES!

TA: GET OFF OF THEM!

...

TA: Bubbles... I... I don't think I can take you with me.

TA: Not after this... I don't want to see you hurt again. I.. I think you understand. Right?

I think you know, so... please. Find a safe spot until I come back, alright?

...

TA: Bubbles... Thank you for being with me the entire time... I don't think I could have done this without you.

Please... be safe for me.

Bubbles is no longer available for asks

[nerdynanny]

my favorite thing about adult artemis is that he only knows about what the original artemis did. he still has no memories of all the good artemis fowl did for the people. so he struggles with a 'ship of theseus' paradox that he is constantly debating himself about in his own mind.

artemis fowl died that day years ago. sacrificed himself to save not just his friends, but the entire world. he took out opal koboi-- stopped her machinations, and saw to it she'd never hurt anyone again. his plan was perfectly executed.

he gave no thought to the person he'd become. because he believed he'd think the same way. and he does, to an extent. but part of him does wonder if all his friends would prefer the original over him.

[3idiotsandarainbow]

Day 13: A skeleton with many faces

what are you?

I’m whatever you want me to be.

-Anó

[negativespace06]

as metal breaks and bends

[arcticthef0x]

I KEEP TRYING TO JUST VIBE WITH MY IDENTITY BUT I KEEP FEELING FUCKING WINGS

WHERE DID IT COME FROM???

WHY ARE THEIR WINGS? WHY? WHY DO I KNOW WHAT KIND OF WINGS? WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?

[diino8081]

frozen liberation au

THE BEGINNING

chapter 8

(chapter list)

content warnings for threats, blood mentioned and in the art, a little swearing

the snow rumbles in the wind as the group make it outside. zane stands by the door, looking out at the frosty expanse.

"took you guys long enough. it's freezing out here!"

kai raises an eyebrow. "you're a nindroid? the cold doesn't affect you?"

"that's the point." he grins. he's still pretty mad at kai after what he did to boreal. "where's our exit by the way? i hope we don't have to walk too far."

a few of the group members groan. cole walks up beside him. "zane, you're kind of a dick, you know that?"

zane smiles smugly. "courtesy of the ice emperor."

"sure buddy." cole continues past him and ahead of the group. "come on, we took the land bounty. it should be over here somewhere."

did cole just- ugh that's no fun.

he follows along, feet crunching under the snow with each step. his interface tells him that his internal temperature is lowering. it's odd but shouldn't be a problem.

"it's over there!" jay calls, pointing at somewhere to their left. he turns to find it parked off in the distance just barely hidden in the forest.

oh wow. it's so... small. and old. small and old. first master, did they really use that thing to get around? he sighs, trudging towards it.

zane notices behind him that every time he steps he leaves red in the snow. that's fun.

if he had the staff then he could probably use it as a pen. he'd need more blood though.

come to think of it, where is the staff? he looks around the group. ah, nya has it. it doesn't seem to be powered though.

he can see the two formlings as well. of course they're coming along. he wishes they would just- no! snap out of it. they're good. (apparently).

he approaches the vehicle, entering to the main cabin. but the minute he does, something locks around his wrists. he looks down to see them cuffed. "really?"

lloyd smiles. "just being cautious."

he sighs, moving to take a seat by the window. man, he can't wait til they get to ninjago. he wonders what they'll do with him. prison? back to the same old ninja work? maybe even expelled from the monastery to live a normal life.

wouldn't that be nice. he absentmindedly looks outside, seeing an army of trees staring back. the engine revs and they begin to reverse into the snow covered plains.

zane watches the palace grow smaller and smaller until it's just a speck in the horizon. guess that's his life of luxury over, he sighs.

he watches for a few more minutes but eventually decides to close his eyes.

when he opens them again he sees that they're just outside a village. he might've attacked this village before actually. heck, he definitely did. best to stay away from the windows, he decides.

he stands up and looks around, the rest of the team are outside. he sighs. but he has to stay inside. there's nothing inside! he's bored already. fsm this sucks.

maybe he could run a system diagnostic? he still needs to figure out what's causing the glitch. -- other than nya throwing him into a wall, of course.

yeah, that works. hopefully they don't take too long.

zane sits back down with a sigh, beginning the process.

things seem to be doing ok in terms of processing and memory. his energy levels look to be a little lower though.

he checks his power source.

that's... no.

no that can't be right.

the core isn't being actively powered. he's just running off leftover energy!

could it be something to do with his ice? what took his element away? the scroll? but it's been 60 years and nothing happened! why would it only start now?

could it be negative emotions? he lost them when... yeah. fsm he hates this.

he'll figure it out later.

he gives it about... 4 months at best til he's out of power for good.

his eyebrows furrow. he... can make it work. hopefully.

but what if he doesn't? what if he's dying? and for good this time?

his gears hitch.

he's going to fix it.

he has to.

zane looks down at the cuffs on his wrists. honestly he should try to get them off, they're kind of annoying.

he stands again and moves to search the bounty. there don't seem to be any good tools he can use to pick locks. not even a paper clip!

what kind of ninja even are they?! he looks at the metal bindings in disgust. are they even metal? they look like metal.

embedded in the sides of the cuffs however is a strip of dark, almost black material. he can see specks of yellow in there too.

oh you have got to be kidding me.

it's vengestone.

he sighs. well, that's another thing to add to the list. 3 things that could've stolen his powers away.

though, he lost his powers before being cuffed. did lloyd bring them with him? no. he would've used them if he did.

this is... confusing. to say the least.

he hears a shuffle by the door.

a young voice emanates from outside. "hey! look! look! asha's doing it!"

he turns to see a small child, about 10 by the looks of things, with long dark hair. they stand at the door grinning to something outside.

what does he do in this situation?! does he hide? if this child sees him then his cover is blown! but he can't just let them intrude!

the child turns to look at him. too late.

they screech a bit before gaining composure. "um. hello!"

"hi...?"

"who are you?"

"i'm..." shitshitshit "i'm popsicle!"

popsicle?! he mentally punches himself. of all things--!

"i'm asha!" they smile. "what are you doing in the metal house, mr popsicle?"

he panics.

"the ninja saved me from the big mean ice emperor! i'm just waiting for them to come back!"

nice save.

"the ice emperor!" asha scowls. "i don't like him. if i ever see him i'll throw 500 snowballs at his face!"

he tries to stifle a laugh but fails.

"500 of them? really?"

wow, this kid is out to get him. good thing he's popsicle right now, else he would be in deeeeep trouble.

"i could probably do 501." asha ponders.

he chuckles.

another voice whispers loudly from outside. "asha! your mother is coming! get out of there!"

"uh oh." asha perks up. "well, i've gotta go mr popsicle. it was nice talking to you!"

"asha! let's go!"

they pause. "wait! one more thing."

"hm?" zane questions.

asha seems to fumble with something around their neck before holding it out in front of them.

it's a necklace?

they walk up to zane and gesture for him to put his hand out. wait. really?

he hesitates. "are you sure?"

asha nods confidently. they don't seem to care about the cuffs.

"it means luck and good fortune." they smile.

he holds onto it.

"wow, i--" he feels his gears hitch. "thank you."

"it's no problem, mr popsicle."

asha walks quickly back to the door. turning to wave before disappearing forever.

what just happened?

he stands there, dumbfounded, before looking at the necklace in his hand.

it's got a silver chain that drapes into gold. an intricately carved sunflower displaying a yellow gemstone at it's center.

it feels special. he grimaces. first master does he even deserve this?

this child-- asha's kindness.

is he worthy?

he sits back down again, staring at the pendant in his hands. he frowns.

zane is tired.

< previous

+ masterlist

> next

[pendulumstarway]

A very disheveled and unamused Jack carrying a damaged Bruno.

I wanted to test out halftones and I really like how it came out! I'll deffo be doing more in the future.

[habitual-creatures]

Mod you have wrought upon yourself nothing but your own fate lol

Im am slowly teetering towards a gender identity crisis but who knows anymore

AHSHGAGHAHAHAGAGHAHHGHG???

[ivyithink]

I just want to let you know that I am obsessed with the reverse AU where Claudia is the adult and loustat are the teens in the family. It's such an interesting idea and loustat look so cute in your art! Thank you for making it

Thank you so so much, I’ve very glad you enjoy both the idea and the sketches for it!!! I gotta admit I’m kinda obsessed with it too, I would LOOOOOVE to read some fics exploring this new, very different dynamic! And, like, it obviously changes the plot as drastically as everything else, but wouldn’t it be interesting to try and keep certain key moments unchanged somehow (but reversed), and then how would it end ultimately? The same horrible way for the boys that it ended for Claudia? THE ANGST POTENTIAL. But in a different fic I literally just want to see a much better functioning (because Claudia’s running things) (though it still would not be totally healthy…) vamp fam taking Paris by storm, stealing Armand’s theatre (would he still even have it, without Lestat in the picture??? see so much stuff to explore!) and enjoying life being two proud vamps + one still a bit on the fence about it all, but at least his family loves him and lets him read quietly in the back row.

Anyway, sorry for this essay, as you can clearly see, I’m also quite fond of this au, so 1. might draw for it again, nobody be surprised! 2. if you have fics with this idea — gimme gimme gimme those links, I’m very curious!!

[daggerhobbit]

AAAAAARGH WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MY BRAIN

[groupalpha]

Malg, do you really think you can do all this alone?

TA: I... I don't know... I don't even know much about myself...

TA: I Don't even know what I was... I...

...

What... what... I...

I don't know...

TA: I don't know at all...

[moved-to-the-hype-on-tv]

i feel safe in this acc to vent sometimes so....

(cw for existential and identity crisis, depersonalization and dissociation, a bit of religious stuff as well)

since yesterday I've been feeling a bit... off. before that as well, probably.

I'm not sure how it started, but i remember i was trying to write my thoughts down, and suddenly i couldn't hear my voice

you know, the little voice in your head narrating what you're reading? like right now? i couldn't hear it the way i usually do...

it was tyler's. and that didn't exactly upset me, but i just... it felt weird. i was writing my thoughts and feelings, it felt weird to hear someone else's voice saying it instead of mine

i tried writing about it even more (if that ain't clear yet that's how i express myself) but the more i tried to write to get a hold of myself, of who i am, the more i heard his voice instead of mine and that began to anger me

I'm not him, i could never. i get this thing that when i like someone too much I'll contemplate what being them feels like. what having their life instead of mine would feel like. but it always happens with close people, never to someone I've never seen irl

my words twisted into rap music and that was the last straw to me, because then i wanted them to have a melody behind, and a whole song, but guess what? I'm tone deaf. i can't create and sometimes even play music unless i follow it by the sheet, I've tried it before

I'll never have what he has, be that a supporting best friend who understands me even in my dark days or even the ability to express myself, to be someone

i do art as well, but recently I've been in an art block and i wondered... what if this is the end of me? if I can't create, do i even exist?

it makes no sense, probably, but I can't understand how people live without creating stories or art or something to let others know what they think somehow... that sounds insane to me even tho I'm aware it happens

i felt useless these days, but it didn't bother me as much, i can be happy being useless, i can live with it

this morning at church however, the feeling started to bother me again. like hands around my neck holding my voice, because it isn't my voice, if it's not original it doesn't exist

I don't wanna go into details of what happened (no specific reason) but holding onto you was stuck in my head like a loop. "tie a noose around your mind" it kept repeating like a broken record... "tie it to a tree... this ain't a noose this is a leash... now you must obey me...."

long story short, I'm convinced god and tyler have some sort of direct connection or something (/j) cuz the pastor says basically the same thing with other words

and i still don't really feel like myself, I'm still tone deaf (I'm learning; today i achieved playing twinkle twinkle little star by ear only) and still not original, but i know it's gonna be okay

it's weird how this band gives me such a bittersweet feeling whenever I'm going through something lol

[gohjuo]

gojo and trauma:

gojo in fact does not bode well with trauma, not entirely coming to terms with losing geto & the fact that he does two things in reaction to coming back from the dead and losing the most important person in his life. for one, physically gojo continues to have his technique on, twenty-four seven. there is no drawback to his power once he returns from the cusp of his death. after his fight with toji, he takes it upon himself to never be caught off guard. it's his way of dealing with never having that loss again ( even though he does crave a good fight, being able to go all out). it's also his way of shielding others away from him since space can't reach him & unless you are someone extremely close to him he would not take the chance to deactivate his technique. that short list includes ( suguru, shoko, megumi, tsumiki, nanami, & his students). other than that anyone would be hard-pressed to find him without it on. he did spend days post-toji fight trying out his technique & racking his brain on all the things he can do. secondly, gojo does not talk about his trauma at all. in a way, his form of denial is never talking about what he went through. his response is to isolate himself, to go back to relying on who he was pre-suguru. the strength & the destiny that his clan has instilled upon him & the very way that jujutsu society works. he picks up his blindfold & he goes right back into carrying on whatever mission is thrown upon him. in fact, he carries it with him in the back of his head. it is those late nights when he gives himself a semblance to feel, to allow himself to feel just a tiny bit. it would be very rare for gojo to open up about anything, about what he goes through, about how he is feeling. sometimes he finds it hard to describe how he's feeling or even process what he goes through. he lived a very sheltered life, one that in a way emotionally stunted him. as someone who is particularly touchy with his loved ones, he chooses to keep the barrier between himself & the rest of the world. he also chooses to shield himself from meaningful relationships that he wishes to have even though he lost his most important one.

[larphis]

Cw: gender dysphoria

Gender is such a weird thing honestly. I have fem days and I have masc days but mostly I just have me-days.

I always hated labeling my gender. Growing up I didn’t mind being afab as long as I could present masculine, but I remember explicitely thinking (please keep in mind, I was a child):

“I don’t understand how transgender people feel this big discomfort. I wouldn’t mind having been born as a guy”

Mind you I wasn’t intentionally trying to belittle the experience of trans people/be transphobic, it was kinda the opposite actually, I used to watch so many Trans-Youtubers growing up (albeit some regrettable ones being in the mix too, you probably know who I am talking about, ew. I’m glad I learned from my mistakes) because the topic fascinated me for some unknown reason.

It’s so funny nowadays looking back at that comment because I obviously never felt 100% in tune with my gender, so of course I couldn’t understand people who were “different”, because, all this time, I was “different” too - I just didn’t realize it.

But my experience with it is so weird that I feel like I can’t explain it to anyone or find a label that I feel connected to. I used to just not think about it because we don’t have genderneutral pronouns in my native language anyways (beside it/its, but I don’t feel comfortable using that personally, love goes out to anyone who does though! I respect you and you are valid)

But whenever I DO think about it, or remember it, it just feels weird and dreadful. Like yeah I could probably life out my life as a cis woman without total discomfort, but I think if I’d have to start presenting overtly female - for whatever reason - I’d get very disphoric.

Some days I do like looking girly but other days I don’t.

And it’s especially weird because I’d love to look like a feminine dude??? Like I don’t mind femininity when it comes from a masculine place, I actually admire that, but for some reason femininity from a feminine place feels horrible?

Idfk. Gender is so weird. I probably wouldn’t ever transition because frankly I’d be terrified that I might have made the wrong choice and am just a very masc presenting woman.

But even calling myself a woman feels weird?!

Jesus, dude, idk… can anyone relate? 🥺

[yuyu-bubu]

autism sad feed it void

[artekai]

literally who am i lol